Chapter Text
Taking the bus to school was already a terrible experience for Laurie.
Now, she is very aware that she was pretty lucky compared to a lot of other kids. She was one of the stops closer to the school, so she didn’t have to worry all that much about waking up all that early, like many other kids. A nice nine and a half hours of sleep if she fell asleep at nine o’clock on the dot, before getting ready in less than thirty minutes, having her mom drop her off to where she was going to get picked up, getting on the bus by seven, and forty-five before they actually arrived at school.
Except when she first gets on the bus, it’s crowded and noisy and having to walk down the aisle to find her and Rochelle’s seat, felt like she was walking down a road of shame, where it felt like everyone was watching her. But she had to walk, or she would have most likely got laughed at for just standing there like a weirdo.
That could have been way better if Rochelle had already been on the bus, but with Laurie’s amazing fortune, Rochelle’s stop doesn’t come for another twenty-five minutes. So, she sat there and acted all awkward till Rochelle finally got onto the bus and sat next to her.
However, taking everything into consideration, waiting awkwardly seemed like a walk in the park now she had to deal with Sweaty next to her now.
“Laurie. Laurie. La-urie. Laurie! Laurie~ ” Sweaty was moving all over her, on the right shoulder on second, on the left shoulder the next. Her face, right next to her ears, anywhere and everywhere. As of right now they were calling their name repeatedly in different tones, the last one coming out like a little tune. “You forgetful idiotic, idiot! You didn’t set your alarm and now you can’t practice this morning.”
It had been like this ever since she got ready, heck- today she almost missed the bus, due to Sweaty pestering.
“Only a little over 126 hours left till the big game! Even less till you meet with your dad!” Sweaty as of now, was melting on top of Laurie’s head. Their calm demeanor, even if they even had one, from before seemingly was gone, panic and worry laced in every edge of their voice, and they were speaking quicker too. “This is slacking off. You know this is slacking off right? Wasted Sunday and this morning, precious hours Laurie, hours!”
“Oh, woe is you! I don’t think I'll survive. I don’t think you’ll survive!” Sweaty slid down from the top of her head, onto her face till their eyes were staring dead into Laurie’s, their clamp and sticky body being pressed against her face. “What if those hours were the difference between a hit and no hit? A game saving catch?” Sweaty halted their endless foundation of words, and they maintained eye contact for a bit longer, till out of the blue, Sweaty smacked her. It took her a second to even realize that her head was crane far to the side, her cheek pulsing with a dull pain. That can’t be possible, it shouldn’t have been possible- and yet… Suddenly the bus sounded a whole lot quieter, and Sweaty’s words seemed so much more real. “Laurie, Laurie, Laurie. Lau-rie. Pay attention. Are you even trying right now? Friday is coming, I repeat Friday is coming!”
Sweaty snapped her face back in its original place. Sweaty’s words, every little sound on the bus, the talking, the sound of the engine, the honking outside, it all slowly but surely faded from Laurie’s hearing. She wobbly raised her hand to her face, the very spot where she was supposed to have been hit, and immediately flinched back as she felt a sting, a sting that couldn’t have been there.
It shouldn’t be there.
Her vision started to get muddled and blurred as time went on. Laurie was trying her best. It wasn’t her fault that her mom dragged her out for a day of ‘fun,’ after she claimed they didn’t hang out as a family often. (Pretty ironic, all considered this family wouldn’t be complete again).
This so-called ‘fun’ just mainly included going to Dairy Queen, to get some spiritual necklaces, and going to the park afterwards. After she had gotten home, she had been so tuckered out that she showered and immediately knocked out on her bed, forgetting to change her alarm.
“So? This is everything you could have ever wished for! We CAN’T disappoint him again, Laurie! Is this really your best effort?”
Was this really her best effort? Couldn’t she have tried harder– pushed harder. She was at a park, it might have been a bit unruly, but she could have practiced there. But instead, she decided she was going to waste time, messing around, for what? Nothing. She was just being lazy. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Kai hadn’t been all that great when she started softball, and now, she surpassed most everyone on the team. Laurie had a whole lifetime, being surrounded by it, and she hadn’t improved, no one bit. And now she still sucked and had only a week to prove herself.
She could have just set the alarm. How hard could it really have been to remember to just change the time that it was supposed to wake her up. Laurie was sure that Rochelle could remember. That Kai, her coach, anyone on her team could have remembered, and done it, because everyone on her team was so much better than her. She just wasn’t trying hard enough.
She needs to put in more effort.
She needs to put in more hours.
She needed to be better.
She had to be better.
She can’t disappoint him again.
She can’t dissap—
Everything slammed back into focus, Laurie quickly becoming hyper aware how loud the bus was. Yet, outside, they were at a stop. Laurie’s eyes darted to the front, just as Rochelle popped into the bus, practically skipping down the aisle right to their seat.
“Hey Laur!” Rochelle waves out to her, before quickly placing her bag onto the ground, and sliding next to Laurie in the seat. “Sorry I had to leave in such a rush on Saturday, but y’know my mom.” Rochelle turned off to the side, groaning and rolling her eyes, as she spoke of her mother.
Laurie just blinked at her, her brain had not caught up with Rochelle's entire presence and vibe compared to earlier. When it had caught up, she made a noise, something that sounded like a mix between a retching and a cough then aggressively shook her head, slapping her cheeks with each shake. She probably looked like a dying animal. Once she recovered, to avoid the embarrassment, she shrunk on herself and avoided Rochelle’s eyes. “No, no… It’s fine.”
Rochelle chuckled, patting her on the head. Laurie peeked at her, and before she knew it, Rochelle lifted her up, fixing up her originally crumpled position, so she was straight and facing towards her. “So… Girl.” Rochelle had a wide grin on her face, and she was practically vibrating in her seat. She grabbed Laurie’s hands and put them in her own, shaking them up and down. “I still can’t believe we're going to the state championships, for like, the first time ever! And if we win that, that would be so cool!”
“Yeah!” Laurie slowly started to fall into Rochelle’s rhythm, moving her arms with her and bouncing up and down as well. “It does all feel a bit-!... surreal.” Surreal as Laurie had done nothing to contribute to the team to even bring them to this moment. Her smile dropped a bit, Laurie, knowing Rochelle would easily catch onto this. So, in an attempt to avoid being called out, Laurie pushed to change the subject. “So.. uh, how was your weekend? With your mom and all.”
“Nothing much. Stayed home and finally got my relaxation in. Mom nagged me the whole time about the championships.” Laurie couldn’t stop herself from noting how much duller her voice sounded after she asked it. Rochelle looked away from her and her hand darted into her pocket. Was Laurie making her annoyed? Uncomfortable? Was she disappointed too? But this was Rochelle! How- “Anyways-”
Rochelle continued talking as Laurie felt the walls closing in on her. She had done something, said something for Rochelle to react like that, right? Was it like her dad? How long had Rochelle felt like this? Feel disappointed in her? God, she was overacting right now…
“Yo Laur?,” Laurie felt Rochelle's hand slip onto her shoulder, however it provided little comfort and silence to her racing thoughts. “You alright?”
“This is your chance!” Sweaty was on the opposite side of her, shaking, or trying to shake, her arm. “You don’t want to laze around all this time, right? Ask Rochelle if she wants to practice with you.”
“Um.. Rosh?” Laurie’s mouth felt dry each time it was only opened, just a creak, the words at the tip of her tongue quickly retreating into the depths of her throat. There was worry, fear that this would be a bother, fear how she would react. But if she doesn't, however, will she make up for the lost time, how will she improve, prove herself loyal to the team? Maybe Rochelle would even be proud of her trying to improve instead. “I was wondering, with the championships up and all wanna practice? Y’know, last game of the season and all, and I do really want to get a hit… or catch something.”
Rochelle scanned Laurie, for 1, 2, 3, seconds, and the time continued on. Her eyes were wide of… curiosity? No, but why would it have been that? Then– “I would love to! But…” Laurie felt her breath hitch and her heart skip and beat. Sweaty, on her head now, made an ominous ‘dun, dun, dun…’ helping with absolutely nothing. But what Rochelle? What was the problem? “No offense girl, but we are on a bus. How are we going to practice like this?”
“Oh! Yeah, um…” Laurie took a sharp inhale, biting on the innards of her cheek. She took a moment to think, how would that even work, by her mind came up with nothing short of blank. “Sorry, it was a stupid idea.”
“Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” Sweaty hit her forehead with their body, all spiraled out, but not blocking Laurie’s vision.
“Chill, Laurie, it's fine… Look, I'll go sit on the chair over there and we can play. I got the ball. You got your glove?” In a flash, Rochelle slipped on a glove, and used her other hand to flick the ball into the air. Laurie hesitantly nodded. “Then… fix that frown girl, and let's play ball!” Rochelle turned the corners of her lips up, before popping up herself, one hand on her hip, and the other pointed up in the air.
—
And play ball is what they did.
While a ‘few’ balls had hit other kids on the bus, if not just hit Laurie square in the face instead, with each toss, she had felt that she was getting better. Hope (such a dangerous thing) bubbled up in her chest, with each ball that she managed to catch or successfully throwback to Rochelle. It meant she was improving right? That there was a chance, a teeny tiny chance, that she would be ready for Friday with her dad and Saturday night’s game.
“Yeah, there is a chance you train enough and can hit the ball during the game!” Sweaty, besides her, paused, and observing the area, almost like to analyze something. Laurie, who was caught up in her suspicions about Sweaty’s kind words, almost failed to notice Rochelle winding up to toss the ball. She barely managed, but Laurie caught the ball, and threw it back to Rochelle, unfortunately missing. “But, there’s also a chance you don’t. What if that happens, and you miss an important throw to home? Which results in the coach's disappointment, and a possible loss for your team. And-”
Ah, there it was.
Sweaty continued to ramble on some more, at a face pace, but Laurie paid them no mind. Not that they're really wrong. Just because Laurie might be improving right now, doesn’t mean that she can just let her guard down. She has to train her hardest, and right now all this is, is the bare minimum. But even so she can’t be distracted. When she gets out on this bus, she can at least work on her body itself, she had somewhat of a plan in her head how she would do it every day.
Speaking of school…
The bus had come to a stop earlier at the school, but the two girls decided to wait until the bus filed out, so they continued to play, without the addition of a crowd. Now, as Laurie glimpsed out the window, she could tell that the coast was clear, and they could go now. With Rochelle holding the ball, Laurie then Rochelle, quickly exited the bus, before beginning to throw and catch again, this time at longer distances.
“That’s how it’s done!” Rochelle threw a pass over to her, which Laurie managed to receive and toss back, so Rochelle, with some reach, caught it. “Show em’ now! Get it!”
“I feel like it's starting to click!” Another ball thrown, however this time around, the ball slipped between Laurie’s glove and finger, dropping down to the ground. She picked it up, readjusting her glove, before preparing to throw it again. “Like, my hand-eye coordination is almost there!”
She watched the ball fly through the air for a moment, going way higher than she had expected, though it went past Rochelle. She raised and inspected at the gloveless hand, the one that had thrown the ball in awe, sparks jumping all over her skin. The debate in her head was still raging, but Laurie pushed all doubt to the back of her mind.
This all, right now? It was a sign, real sign, of improvement, that she was improving. There were no might or maybes right now. The bus, in the seats, a small distance, with no movement other than the bus itself? Laurie couldn’t take that all seriously as training, it was constricting and prohibited whatever ‘potential’ she might gain throwing long distance in an actual game. But now she was throwing some passes to Rochelle and some of them were actually making it! She can’t even recall if she had done that before, but she highly doubts it.
The door on the bus that Laurie was standing beside popped open and she immediately recognized the voice approaching the door, calling out that she should ‘wait for them.’ Without wavering, she slammed the door shut. “I have a regimen.” Though improvement didn’t mean, she was ‘perfect,’ much less even near perfect for the game. She had to keep going.
“I have to practice before school, after school, during school,” She jogged up to Rochelle on the stairs, eagerly putting up her glove as it awaited the ball and running in place. “If I just put in enough hours…”
“No ball throwing!” Laurie paused, in both movements and words, when she heard Mr. Brown talking to, what she can assume was her and Rochelle. (I mean, she didn’t see anyone else with a ball…)
“Sorry Mr. B,” Laurie dropped down her glove, and twisted her body around to face Mr. Brown, one of the teachers at school, and their umpire for softball. This apparently turned out to be a mistake, as Rochelle threw the ball, that very second and it whizzed past Laurie’s head, hitting her teacher instead. She walked up to him, collecting the ball from his palm, apologizing once more. “Sorry Mr. B…”
Laurie threw back the ball to Rochelle, for one last quick toss - for now - as she figured it wasn’t the best idea to keep throwing it while Mr. Brown was still in the area. She quickly began to start doing jumping jacks, all as a part of the vague plan she had in her head about how she would train at school.
“Laurie, c’mon now. Don’t overdo it, the game is a few days away.” Laurie wasn’t overdoing it; she was just doing enough. This amount was just the exact amount of, to result in some sort of improvement from her flimsy body.
She quickly finished up her five jumping jacks before dropping down onto the concrete floor, beginning her burpees. “It’s actually- only one hundred twenty six hours aways.” Her arms quickly gave way after she finished only one burpee, Laurie’s face, plopping onto the floor.
“She’s trying to sabotage you,” All the while, while Laurie had been training, Sweaty had been rolling over to her, out of the corner of her eye. Sweaty hugged onto her nose, looking at her straight in the eye. “Must work, must train.” Laurie pushed the blob off of her, rising up, though not all the way standing; crouching.
“Is getting a hit really worth it?” Laurie wavered in her movements, for just a second when Rochelle asked that, with a tone that made Laurie’s heart skip a beat.
“Yes! Yes. The answer is yes.” Sweaty climbed onto Laurie’s glove just as she fully stood up, and they made eye contact. Getting a hit would be for them! It would be the very thing she contributed to this team before the season was up and chances were over! In the championships nonetheless! So why was Rochelle- doubting this? (Or was she just doubting her?) Sweaty nodded their head up and down, and it only further conflicted Laurie’s thoughts.
Sweaty, while they may have misled her a few times, training was the right call. How else would she have gotten better in time? Lots of training was necessary. Rochelle would see, they all will be able to see once this all pays off. When she hits the ball, proving her worth to her father and her team. That’s all she wants… for them… for him.
So, the answer was… yes. Like Sweaty said. Yes.
“Laur, don’t.” Laurie hadn’t even realized she had been doing it till feel the smile getting wider on her face and she knew she had to do it all the way through.
“Okay…” She did a full smile ear to ear, bringing her glove, and Sweaty with her, who also copied her ‘guilt tripping’ expression. She couldn’t stop herself from laughing as she spoke, glancing from Rochelle to Sweaty.
“So guess what-?” Rochelle tossed the ball back into her glove and they continued to run into the school. They did a few more throws, back and forth before it was time, and the loud bell rang throughout the school, signaling it was time for class.
They ran to their lockers, Laurie making sure to put away any of her training things for later, when school ended. She and Rochelle had diverged paths, but it didn’t mean that she had to stop training.
(The bell rang again just as she made it into her class.)
It only meant she had a whole day of training ahead of her.
—
By the end of the day, Laurie was nothing short of exhausted, even as fully training in class quickly proved impossible, it wasn’t impossible in the hallways, and there were other, more simple ways to get better. Despite all this, Laurie was still tucked out. But that didn’t stop her from darting out of her classroom the second that last bell rang.
She made sure to, of course, text her mom, that she wasn’t taking the bus back home, and that she was planning to stay a bit later out training. However, she does regret the fact that she hadn’t said bye to Rochelle before leaving school, she was just so enthusiastic! She’ll have to apologize tomorrow.
Laurie almost stumbled, pulling herself back into the real world and regaining awareness of her surroundings. She managed to regain her composure, avoiding another face smooching session with the ground, bringing her head up to observe the field approaching.
It was then that she fully recognized how tired her body felt, how heavy her breaths were, how her leg wanted to just give up on her already. Laurie considered stopping, taking a second to breath, and possibly just walked the rest of the distance to the field.
But the seconds, the precious seconds she would lose if she did.
Every minute, every moment mattered. She wasted enough this morning, and she wouldn’t allow herself to do it again, no matter the circumstances. She used her last bit of energy to burst forward, through the gate, throwing her bag, and apparently Sweaty, onto the nearest bleacher. When she allowed herself to come to a halt, her legs finally gave out, and she allowed herself to fall onto the bleachers, arms and legs hanging loosely.
She could feel her chest rise and fall as she lay down on the bleacher, a heavy sigh escaping her mouth. Head still faced forward-down, bag to the side, Laurie dug into the side pocket of her backpack, pulling out her phone and dragging it to her. She opened it up, squinting at the numbers on her phone, reading 3:24 pm, meaning she had a little over three hours till the planned to leave.
Laurie pushed her body back up, spinning herself around so that she was now sitting down, phone placed down on the side.
Studying the field now… It seemed so dull. The grass was still green, the field was in pristine condition, the sun illuminated the entire area, and it all looked beautiful. But it was still; silent. Not a single one of her teammates was there, it was just and only her. The heat of the Sun coated her body, and she glanced up, still seeing it high in the sky.
Her entire body went lax, and her eyelids drooped down, nearly falling closed till- “BEEP! BEEP!” Laurie nearly stumbled back when she was met face to face with Sweaty, screeching like an alarm, barely holding onto the bleachers, just by the edges. “Wake up! Wake up! We're here to train! C’mon, up, up, up, daylight is being wasted!”
Laurie scrambled up off her seat, upon realizing that Sweaty was right. She quickly pulled out and slapped on two fuzzy little bands on her arms and popped out her retainer. Laurie wiped off her mouth from the saliva that proceeded to slip out her mouth with the retainer.
One of the things that Laurie did have set up in advance before coming here was the basic training schedule she had planned for the rest of the three hours that she was gonna be on the field; speed and stamina, base running, and Laurie’s own worst enemy, hitting the ball.
Her eye scanned the field, still stopping on the stepping stool. It’ll do great for the first part of her training. She jogged over to it before bringing the stool closer to the infield, next to one of the bases on the white line.
“Going to the Championships, only a few days away!” Sweaty, now on her shoulder, sang out. It wasn’t the most beautiful voice on Earth, but Laurie would be lying if she said it wasn’t catchy, if not just nerve wracking instead. “Time is passing by so we probably should train!”
Yeah, this would be a long hard practice.
But, for the Championships,
It would be worth it.
—
Laurie slipped and slid across the ground, to home plate, tapping the plate with her hand, before spinning around and laying her body out flat on the dusty ground. Her hands remained in the air for a little longer, before dropping her hands to lay on the ground.
She had done it, again. A cheeky grin is what Laurie wore on her face, a few laughs and giggles about the concept of it all. Her, running on base, making it home. Not once had she been able to do it in a game, not once had she been able to do it in training with the team, but here? She did it. And with each run, it felt like she was getting faster and faster. Better.
Laurie beheld the sun in the sky, clearly heading down, yet it's time for shining its light wasn’t over. Running bases was officially checked off her list as well, only one thing left before she would call it a night. And that was…
She shot herself up, using her arms as the support beams in the back, before twisting her body toward the large pitching machine, that she had set up in advance. Batting.
Her entire body went rigid, and it felt as if she couldn’t break eye contact with the machine in front of her. In hindsight, Laurie should have practiced batting before running bases, considering you can’t run bases without hitting a ball, which she could barely have done, but too late to change the past now.
A few more seconds passed till Laurie managed to rise to her feet, and a few more till Laurie could move her legs towards the bleachers to get her bat, the sweat forming on her palms already. Once she grabbed it, on the tip of her toes, she took tentative steps towards the pitcher machine, already loaded with balls at the top.
Lower down, there was a float switch, that had numerous time settings, for how often a ball should be shot out of it. She lightly grabbed the switch using her two fingers, spinning around till there was an arrow pointed to the number fifteen, fifteen seconds should be good enough for Laurie to be able to do this.
She hit the button on the other side of the machine, glancing over, Laurie could see a red light, indicating that it was warming up.
She moved back toward the home plate, shakily holding the bat in her hands. She stood in the box next to the plate, twisting her grip on it, however the bat still felt slippery within her reach. The whirring of the machinery got louder, and no matter how prepared Laurie was, she had to be ready to hit the ball.
She traced her bat against the base, to guarantee that she was in the ideal position, before bending down into a squatting position and raising the bat over her shoulders. She looked directly at the pitcher machine, awaiting the ball, that she knew would come soon as it only got louder. Louder and louder, time ticking and bring her closer and closer till it threw a ball at her. Laurie could almost swear that her heart was as loud as the machine and it might have just beat out of her chest, until-
The machine hissed and the ball blasted right past her and hit the fence with a loud clang.
Laurie blinked, her brain trying to catch up with what had happened. She glimpsed back and down to see the fuzzy ball, unmoving. Her breath hitched, before a long, shaky exhale slipped out of her mouth. Her arms fell down, just a bit, and she stood all the way up, ruining her form.
Then another ball whizzed past her face, hitting the fence, and landing with the other ball.
She twisted her hand forward, remembering that this was a pitching machine, it was going to keep going. She couldn’t waste time just admiring every ball that she missed.
Laurie fixed her form, readjusting her grip on the bat, lowering herself once more, securely placing her feet onto the ground. Another ball shot out of the machine, and she swung.
It would have been an amazing swing too, the timing being nothing short of flawless- had she not swung the bat too high, making it so that it came nowhere near to making contact with the ball. Laurie had to resist the desire to turn back and scrutinize the ball along with the two other ones.
“Strike one!” Sweaty voice came nearly the same as Blue’s, from right behind her too, like an umpire would.
That’s right. That would have been strike one in the game, ignoring the other two that she hadn’t even gotten to swing at before. Two more strikes, and she would be out. Laurie swallowed down the excessive spit that was building in her mouth, but she would do nothing about the sweat rolling down her face, betraying the calm, determined dementor she tried to put on for herself.
A hiss and another ball was shot right to her, swinging a bit too early this time around, a fourth is added to the growing pile of softballs behind her.
“Strike two!”
Strike. Strike two. Two strikes. Two out of three. Two, two, two, that means she only has one more chance left. One chance to knock the ball out of the park or just let the only thing that her bat was hitting today was the air that surrounded her.
Laurie opened and closed her mouth, licking the top wall of her mouth to try and get rid of the dry feeling that lingered there. She then clamped her mouth shut, biting down, hard, on her lips as she stared at the pitching machine. She watched as the ball slipped into the chute, being prepared to be fired, trying to ground her feet even more than she originally had them.
The ball spun around and around and around, being shot out at rapid speeds. Laurie contemplated when and how she would swing, trying to avoid swinging too high or too early, but by the time she swung the bat, the ball was past her. She was too late.
“Strike three!” That means- “You’re out!”
Laurie was out, and she hadn’t even come anywhere near the ball. One of her hands let go of the bat and the other fell to her side, the bat rubbing against the ground, so some dust flew up in the air in its wake. She peered up, expecting to see her team, her dad, waiting for the ‘you’ll get it next time.’
But she, in return, got nothing. In her bewilderment, Laurie looked up, to see… nobody. The field was empty.
The field was empty?
It took Laurie a moment, but her cheeks were tinted pink with embarrassment when it rammed into her that the field was empty because this wasn’t a real game. It was only practice. Nothing more, nothing less than that. Laurie had as many chances as she needed to perfect this. Because she was surely far from perfect right now.
She could still do this.
“You can do it!”
She will do it!
“Practice! Practice! Practice!”
Laurie shifted her foot on the ground, stepping in and out, replacing her foot firmly on the ground. She raised her bat, with a stronger grip; more confidence watching and waiting till the machine shot out the ball. When the ball was flung out of the machine, it was as if it was all playing in slow motion. She raised her foot up, calculating and cautious as she watched the ball get closer. Laurie slammed her foot against the ground, twisting her back foot as she swung her bat, with more strength than ever and-
(Her coach, her team… for all of you.)
Clang!
…
…
…
Ah.
The ball hit the fence.
Not her bat.
How humorous.
Laurie sighed, but never stopped staring at the machine, after all, this was just a rehearsal, a way to refine and up her game. She still had up to Thursday to seamlessly be able to do this, and she would. She must. For in the championship game, she truly only had three strikes. And then she would be out.
For good.
(She went only till she noticed that darkness was beginning to coat the field instead of light. Not a single ball had been hit. She quickly cleaned the mess before darting home, setting her alarm 30 minutes early, and while in her bed she reminded herself over and over. ‘It was just practice, of course she couldn’t just magically be good at hitting the ball in one day.’)
(Yet there was this little voice that reminded her, her time was fleeting, it was running out. Friday and Saturday approaches and she must hit it then.)
(Or embarrass her father so much, she’ll never be allowed to hit again.)