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Chapter Text

Waking the next morning as the sun came through her window, Avery opened her eyes and slowly turned in bed, surprised to see that Zac was still asleep beside her and seeing him here in bed beside her made her chew on her lip as last night came back to her in one giant memory.

She and Zac had slept together. He'd come here to try and convince her not to marry Taylor. He'd come to her to try to change her mind and in doing that he'd kissed her and one thing had led to another. She'd kissed him back because she had liked it and then things had just quickly progressed to the point where they had both lost their virginity here on her bed.

They'd had sex on top of the bag containing her wedding dress. A wedding dress that she knew she had no business wearing today at all.

She had no business marrying Taylor today because she wasn't deserving of that. She couldn't walk down that aisle and say vows to him knowing what she had done last night.

Avery couldn't let him slip a wedding ring on her finger and make her an honest woman when she was no honest woman at all. Honest women didn't have sex with their soon to be husband's brother the night before their wedding. Honest women didn't lose their virginity to another man less than twenty-four hours before the wedding.

Letting out a small sigh, Avery sat up and frowned seeing that she had fallen asleep on top of the bag with her wedding dress in it.

Not only had she had sex on top of it but she'd fallen asleep on it and everything was just so fucking wrong right now. Nothing was how she had planned the morning of her wedding to be so far.

She had never planned to wake up next to Zac in bed on the morning she was supposed to be married for one. Nor had she expected to wake up with regrets and boy did she have fucking regrets right now.

Avery regretted everything that had happened with Zac and she hated that there was no way to take back what had happened.

There was no magical wand she could wave to erase things.

She wished there were though. She wished there was something she could do to take away what had happened last night.

"Avie?" Zac muttered out from where he was still laying on her bed and when she heard him she turned her head slightly to look down at him, seeing him awake and looking up at her.

From the confused look on his face she knew not all the memories had came back for him which made sense. He had been drunk last night whereas she had been sober. It may take him a bit to fully remember what they had done last night.

"Yeah?" Avery asked as she kept her eyes on Zac but pulled the sheet closer to herself as she did so like doing that would keep him from seeing her naked body which was crazy.

He'd seen her naked body last night. He'd been inside of her last night so trying to keep him from seeing her naked was just dumb but she didn't want him to see her naked now.

Now here in the morning hours Avery felt ashamed at what they had done last night. She felt ashamed and she regretted it.

"Did we..." Zac started but stopped as he shook his head like he finally remembered now what they had done last night.

He remembered that they'd slept together.

"We did," Zac stated with a nod of his head as he kept his eyes on her and Avery hated the way it felt like he could see right through her. The last thing she wanted was him seeing right through her.

Avery nodded her head as she watched him sit up too. "We did," she confirmed with a small sigh, not sure what else she could say.

The truth of what they had done was obvious.

"I'm sorry," Zac apologized as he tried to reach out to put a hand on her shoulder but she moved away from his hand, not wanting him to touch her right now.

"Are you?" Avery asked him with a sigh, not sure if he was really sorry. He had been the one to kiss her first even if she had kissed him back. He'd been the one who hadn't wanted her to marry Taylor and now she very much couldn't marry Taylor. "Are you really sorry?"

"Avie..." Zac started sounding hurt at her questioning of him. "Of course I'm sorry. I didn't come here last night to have sex with you. I only wanted to convince you not to marry my brother."

Avery snorted out a laugh at his words, "Well, it looks like I won't be marrying him now will I?" she asked with a bitterness that surprised her because she had usually never been bitter or angry with Zac and yet here she was feeling both of those emotions.

Zac again sighed and Avery watched as he looked hurt at the way she was speaking to him or maybe it was because she had still wanted to marry Taylor. She still wanted to be his wife but she knew that wasn't going to happen today. There was no way she could marry him. She'd have to tell him what she'd done and once he knew everything would be over.

Avery would lose him and that thought made her sad. She didn't want to lose Taylor but she would.

"Probably not," Zac answered as he looked away from her. "But this isn't how I wanted that to happen. I only came here last night to tell you that I love you," he said, sounding so sad at his admission. "I love you and I've loved you forever and it's one of the many reasons I don't want you marrying my brother. Not just because I think you're too young and will miss out on things."

"And you couldn't have just said that?" she asked him knowing he could have just told her that instead of kissing her.

Just like she knew she could have pushed him away instead of kissing him back.

"I was drunk Avie," Zac countered as he looked back at her and he looked even more hurt right now. "I was drunk and not thinking clearly."

"I know," Avery said with a loud sigh now. "I know okay....I'm just....I'm freaking out right now," she told him hoping he understood why she was being like she was. Everything they had done was fully hitting her and she was regretting it.

She wanted to just take it all back and she knew she couldn't.

"I'm freaking out here too Avery," Zac said, sounding like he understood where she was coming from but also at the same time like he didn't. "I'm freaking out but I'm not being rude to you."

Avery frowned at his words because she knew they were true. She was being a bitch to him and she knew she shouldn't. It wasn't like he'd done anything wrong. He hadn't forced her to cheat or have sex with him. He hadn't made her kiss him back.

She had done all that herself and only had herself to blame for that.

"I know and I'm sorry," Avery apologized as her frown grew a bit more. "I just don't know what to do," she told him, knowing that right now she had no clue what to do.

Did she call Taylor and tell him the wedding was off? Did she call Taylor and ask to meet in person to tell him the wedding was off?

Did she tell Taylor the reason why the wedding was called off?

The last question filled her with dread because she didn't want to have to tell him why. Avery knew if she did it would not only ruin her relationship with him but also Zac's relationship with him and she didn't want to be the one to do that.

She'd feel even more guilt and regret if she was the one who was responsible for Taylor and Zac hating each other.

"You don't marry my brother," Zac answered so plainly like it was just that fucking easy. Like there weren't feelings involved.

There were feelings involved though and it wouldn't be that easy.

"It's not that easy," Avery said with a shake of her head. "I love him, Zac. Despite what happened last night I love him and I can't just not marry him. I have to talk to him and explain things."

"You love him?" Zac asked and the hurt that was on his face earlier was in his voice now. "You love him?" he asked again like her saying she loved Taylor was a shock to him when it shouldn't have been a shock to him.

Just because she had sex and lost her virginity to Zac didn't negate the fact that she still loved his brother.

"Of course I love him," Avery said as she watched Zac move away from her now like her words had physically hurt him and that was the last thing that she had wanted to happen.

She didn't want Zac angry at her too when she knew by the end of the day Taylor would be.

"But you slept with me last night," Zac said as he frowned now too like he'd only just realized that them sleeping together didn't automatically change anything.

Avery still loved his brother.

"I did but I still love him," Avery shrugged. "I've loved him for so long and I can't just turn those feelings off. Sleeping with you doesn't change those feelings."

"So last night meant nothing to you?"

"Of course last night meant something to me," Avery nodded her head because despite loving Taylor last night did mean something. She hadn't just used Zac to scratch an itch. "You were my first," she told him and the moment she said those words she hated herself for them because they were a reminder of how she had betrayed Taylor.

He was the one who should have been her first. He'd been her first with everything else and he'd been so patient with her in waiting. He'd never tried to rush her or make her do things she was uncomfortable with and she'd gone and slept with his brother.

"But you wish it was Taylor," Zac stated like he knew what she was thinking and Avery wanted to deny what he said but she wasn't sure he'd believe her.

His mind seemed to be made up on what she wished.

Not that he was that far off. It should have been Taylor but it wasn't a wish of hers. It was just a fucking fact. Taylor should have been the one she lost her virginity to. She shouldn't have been so foolish and lost it to Zac the night before her wedding. She had never wanted to have regrets about her first time and now here she was having regrets.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have too Avie," Zac told her as he slipped out of her bed and Avery watched as he began to look around her bedroom for his clothes. "It's written all over your face."

"Zac..." Avery started but Zac shook his head and put a hand up to stop her.

"No, don't give me any excuses, okay," he told her as he found his clothes and dressed quickly. "You feel how you feel and I can't change that. It was stupid of me to think that I could."

"But I do love you," Avery told him, knowing that she did love him. She loved him and while she had regrets on what happened and how she had lost her virginity nothing changed that for her at all.

"But you aren't in love with me are you?" he asked and again he sounded like he already knew the answer to that question.

His mind was already made up before she could even answer him.

"I..." she started and sighed before running a hand down her face because the truth was she didn't think she was in love with him. She loved him and the sex with him had been nice. Kissing him had been nice but despite everything she wasn't in love with him.

He was still just a boy that she saw as her best friend.

When she didn't say anything more to him, Avery watched the way he deflated after he was dressed. He looked so lost and broken and it was all because of her. Just like she knew later today his brother would probably be the same way and again it would be her fault. She'd break both Hanson's brothers' hearts today.

"I'll see you around I guess Avery," Zac finally spoke and before Avery could say anything else Zac left her bedroom and she just stayed seated on her bed not even sure what to do right now.

All she wanted to do was break down and cry but she knew she couldn't do that. She could cry once the day was over and done with. That would be for the best.

Chapter Text

An hour after Zac had left her house, Avery was showered and dressed and sitting in her kitchen drinking coffee and almost glad that Jessica wasn't in here because she knew when she saw her sister again that they'd be talking about last night too.

Jessica had opened the door to her room and saw her with Zac. Her sister knew what she had done and knew that Avery had no business marrying Taylor today. Jessica knew she had no business even letting Taylor slip a wedding ring on her finger.

Her sister would probably shame her and make her feel worse than she already felt.

It made Avery feel dirty, knowing what her sister had seen and knew about her. It made her feel so dirty that Jessica knew she was an awful cheater.

Coming out of her thoughts when she heard footsteps coming in the kitchen, Avery turned to see her sister coming in and carrying a vase of flowers in her hand. It was a sight that had Avery raising her eyebrow.

"Where did the flowers come from?"

"They were delivered a few minutes ago," Jessica said as she sat the vase down and looked at the card, her expression unreadable. "They're for you," she sighed before turning to look at Avery and though her expression was unreadable Avery knows from the sigh who they came from.

Taylor sent her flowers to her home on the day of their wedding....or the day that was supposed to be their wedding because there is no way they can go through with it and if Avery didn't hate herself before she sure does now.

It was such a sweet gesture and she doesn't deserve it. Not when she's going to be breaking his heart today.

Putting her coffee cup down on the table after taking a sip, Avery stood from the table and walked to where the flowers were. Picking up the card she frowned at the card and the words that were written inside.

For the loveliest girl around-T

"I'm awful," Avery stated as she laid the card down on the kitchen counter. "I'm truly fucking awful."

"You aren't awful," Jessica spoke from where she was still standing beside Avery and Avery turned her head to look at her.

"But you saw..."

"I know what I saw, Avie baby," Jessica said as she shook her head. "But making a mistake doesn't make you awful."

Avery frowned, wishing she could believe what her sister was saying. "I will be when I tell him what I did," she said with a shake of her head, tears beginning to well up in her eyes and it seemed she may break down crying before the day was done.

But no, she had to hold herself together until she was able to talk to Taylor. She hadn't cried during her conversation with Zac and she wasn't going to cry now at the prospect of breaking the heart of the boy she was in love with.

The boy who she should be marrying if she hadn't made the biggest mistake of her life last night.

"You're going to tell him?" Jessica asked like she had expected that Avery would keep what happened a secret and maybe if she were an even more awful person maybe she would have.

Maybe if selfishly all she cared about was saving her own face she would do that but she wouldn't.

Taylor deserved to know the truth and so she'd confess what she did last night and live with the consequences even though she knew they'd break her heart.

"It's the right thing to do," Avery said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Did you think I'd lie?"

Jessica looked away from Avery then with what looked like a guilty expression on her features. "I thought you'd want to marry Taylor."

"I do," Avery told her because despite what happened with Zac and even despite the fact that maybe she did want to go to college and leave this town she did also want to marry Taylor too.

She wanted to marry him even if maybe she did feel they were much too young and rushing things.

That didn't change that she wanted to marry him just maybe she wished they had slowed things down but they hadn't and she'd carelessly let herself fall into bed with Zac last night.

"I do want to marry him but I can't now," Avery said sadly with a shake of her head as she let her eyes fall on the time on the stove and she knew soon that her parents would be waking up.

Soon the other girls in her bridal party would be coming over to meet with her for a brunch she had planned before they all headed to the church to get ready.

Avery knew she needed to leave the house and go to Taylor before any of that happened. She needed to tell him what she'd done before everything truly got set into motion.

It'd be best that way.

"I'm sorry Avie baby," Jessica told her as she slowly reached out and pulled Avery into her and the moment she let herself be pulled into Jessica she finally stopped fighting the tears that wanted to come out.

Avery finally let herself fall apart.

-----

Avery chewed on her lip as she parked her car outside of Taylor's apartment building, a place she knew he was still at because she'd texted Isaac and asked. She was glad when Isaac didn't ask her why she wanted to know. She was glad he didn't question too much because she wasn't sure she had answers for him.

She wasn't going to tell him that she had to come and break his brother's heart hours before they were supposed to be married.

Avery didn't want another goddamn Hanson brother hating her.

Taking a deep breath she slowly got out of her car and headed inside the apartment building, opting to take the stairs up to the floor that Taylor lived on.

It would be much better this way if she took the stairs. Maybe it would give her time to figure out how to broach the subject of telling him that she couldn't go through with the wedding or why.

Maybe she could find a softer way to tell him that she'd cheated on him. At least she hoped she could anyway.

When she made it to the floor that Taylor lived on, Avery opened the door that lead to the hallway and she walked down to Taylor's apartment, her heart beating faster in her chest the whole way there. She was nervous for what was to come and maybe a bit scared too. She didn't think Taylor would hurt her but she was afraid of what he'd do to other things like his appliances or even the walls of his apartment.

She'd seen him when angry and she knew he had a temper that could destroy things.

Making it to his door Avery raised her hand and knocked three times before looking down and waiting on him to answer. He had to know it was her.

She usually only ever knocked three times on his door and she did it in such a light manner. It was mainly so he'd always know it was her. Avery had wanted a way to signal her presence differently from anyone else who came to visit Taylor.

Hearing the door open, Avery looked up seeing a perplexed looking Taylor staring back at her.

"Ave?" Taylor asked with a raised eyebrow. "I wasn't expecting to see you today....or well I was but not like this," he said and if she wasn't guilty over what she was here to tell Avery knew she'd find his confusion cute.

She usually found everything about him cute though. Except maybe his temper....that wasn't cute but sometimes she had found it hot.

Though she'd never told him that.

"I know," Avery said with a nod of her head. "I just...there's something I need to tell you."

The moment those words left her mouth she saw him become even more perplexed but he moved aside to let her in the room like he knew this conversation was one needed to be had inside and not with her standing in his open doorway.

"You needed to tell me something?" Taylor asked once she was inside and he had shut the door. "Not going to lie, that sounds kind of ominous."

"I'm sorry," Avery said as she turned to face Taylor with a sigh. "I wish I could say it isn't ominous."

"But it is?" Taylor questioned though it came out more like a statement and all Avery could do was nod her head. "What is it then Ave? If it's so bad that you came here to see me hours before our wedding, what is it?" he asked her as he stepped a bit closer.

Swallowing hard when he did, Avery stepped back slightly, not wanting to be too close to him when she told him the truth she'd come here to confess.

"I cheated on you," Avery said as she closed her eyes as soon as the words left her mouth because she didn't want to see Taylor's reaction. "I cheated on you last night."

"You...." Taylor started but stopped and Avery opened her eyes then and she looked at him seeing the way his nose was scrunched up like he was processing this information. "You're lying," he told her with a shake of his head. "You wouldn't.....that's not in your nature Ave."

Avery frowned because a part of her wished it wasn't in her nature but apparently it was. Cheating was in her nature because she had succumbed so easily to Zac last night.

"But I did," Avery frowned and once again she felt tears slip down and she was crying again much like she had done with Jessica.

She was crying and she wished she could remain strong like she had earlier with Zac but standing here facing the boy she had hurt. The boy that she loved. It was hard to stay strong because it felt like everything she'd ever known was crumbling around her.

Everything was crumbling and it was all her god damn fault too.

"With who?" Taylor asked as he moved away from her now and Avery hated that because she hadn't expected that. She hadn't expected him to move away from her but maybe being close to her hurt him.

Maybe just her presence hurt him now.

"Who did you cheat on me with Ave?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" Avery asked because she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him it was Zac. She wasn't sure if she wanted to ruin the relationship they had.

But then again maybe it was already ruined. Maybe with the way things had gone with Zac this morning it was already ruined because who the fuck knew what Zac would do with a broken heart.

He could be unpredictable and with a broken heart he was even worse.

"I asked Ave!" Taylor snapped and his words made Avery jump. "That means I want to know who you slept with hours before our wedding. Whose dick was inside of you?"

Swallowing hard, Avery looked away from him because she didn't think she could look at him during this confession. She didn't want to see the hurt on his face get worse.

"Zac," she whispered though she knew he could hear her. "I slept with Zac."

After her confession a silence enveloped the apartment and Avery opened her eyes and looked at Taylor and indeed the hurt on his face was even worse. It was enough that she felt her own heart break some more and new tears started going down her cheeks.

"Don't you dare fucking cry," Taylor hissed out finally breaking the silence as he glared at her. "You cheated on me with my brother and you have the audacity to stand there and cry."

"I never meant to cheat," Avery said though she knew her words were probably hollow to him.

Didn't everyone who cheated say something along those lines when the truth came out?

"No, you just what slipped and fell onto his dick?" Taylor asked harshly as he kept his distance from Avery. "You just accidentally gave him your virginity hours before you were supposed to be my wife and wear my ring?"

"I was..." Avery started but stopped as she shook her head because what could she say to justify herself?

There was nothing she could say except she'd been dumb and caught up in the moment and she doubted Taylor would want to hear that from her at all. It would probably make his anger worse.

"You were what?" Taylor asked and his words surprised Avery because she didn't think he'd want to hear her excuse.

"I was just lost in the moment. Zac came to me and he was...he wanted me to not marry you for a number of reasons," she admitted knowing she was probably making things worse for Zac. "And he kissed me and I just...I got lost in the moment," she frowned with a small shrug as she wiped at her eyes when more tears came down.

"So Zac made the first move?" Taylor asked and some of his anger was tinged with sadness now.

"Yeah," Avery confirmed with a nod of her head and in the blink of an eye she watched the way Taylor turned fully away from her and punched at his wall harshly, leaving a hole where his fist had been.

The moment he was done he turned back to her holding his fist and she frowned at the sight, seeing how red his knuckles looked and also there was just a slight smattering of blood.

"Why did you let him do it Ave?"

"I told you I was caught up in the moment," Avery said with a shrug of her shoulders and every part of her wanted to go over to him and take his hand in hers and clean the blood that was on it off but she knew she couldn't.

Avery knew Taylor wouldn't let her do that.

"Did you even think about me at all?" Taylor asked her with a new kind of sadness that broke Avery's heart all over again. "Did you even want to marry me or has this whole relationship between us been a farce because you couldn't have my brother?"

"This relationship wasn't a farce," Avery told him as she shook her head because that was the truth. She'd been in love with him for years and she was still in love with him. Nothing would change that. "And I do want to marry you..but maybe I did feel like we were rushing into things," she admitted feeling like maybe he deserved her honesty there too.

Taylor deserved her no longer keeping her true feelings from him. He needed and deserved her full truth.

"I mean I'm not even twenty and I..you know I have dreams and things I want to do," she said, trying her best to describe things without sounding awful or making things worse.

"I know that but we could have figured something out," Taylor told her like he'd had everything figured out and maybe he had.

It did always feel like Taylor was two steps ahead of her in thinking sometimes.

"We could have figured something out but I guess that won't matter now will it," Taylor snorted sarcastically as he shook his head. "I mean we're not getting married today. I'm not going to put a wedding ring on the hand of a girl who just slept with my brother hours before she was supposed to marry me."

"I didn't expect you too," Avery told him knowing she hadn't expected him to marry her once he knew the truth.

She didn't deserve to marry him.

Taylor nodded his head before letting out a long drawn out sigh. "Can you leave now please?" he asked as he gave her a frown. "I don't...I can't look at you right now."

"Okay," Avery said, knowing she could do that for him. It was the easiest task she could do.

With a deep breath she walked towards the door, not even missing it when he moved farther away as she passed him and she hated that it seemed just her presence bothered him. That was the last thing she wanted.

When she made it to the door she gave him one last look before walking out and she knew then she wasn't sure what her future would hold but she sure as fuck hoped that somehow she could make things right with him. She hoped somehow and someday they could be okay again.

It was the same thing she hoped for Zac as well. She just wanted to mend her relationships with both brothers.