Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hey Amari! It seems like Jacob didn't do his part on the project so could you possibly check that for me? It should be in pages 13-34 so yeah! Have a good weekend!! (ps: project due in 2 days, id hurry up!)
            -Max
 
Oh.

How wonderful.

Amari let out the most theatrical sigh known to mankind, complete with a head toss, limp arm dangle, and the world’s most dramatic eye-roll.

"OF COURSE Jacob didn’t do his part,” he groaned to absolutely no one but the microwavable mac and cheese in his cart. “Why would he? That would be too convenient. Too easy. Too human decency.” Amari groans dramatically.
“Jacob, you absolute walking excuse for a backpack zipper, I knew you were gonna screw this up,” he hissed under his breath. 

If Amari didn't have SOME sort of will to live, he would probably immediately break his phone in half, curse out his work group, and fling his body off a bridge right about now. He sighs.

“Group project my ass. I should’ve done this whole thing solo like I do literally everything else in my miserable existence.” He shoved his phone back into his hoodie pocket like it personally offended him and continued grocery shopping—which, for him, meant tossing instant ramen, freezer burritos, and enough caffeine to kill a Victorian child into his basket.

He walks along the aisle, looking at the various cereals in the cereal aisle. But something catches his eye.
Melatonin.

He blinks as he stares at the bottle of Melatonin pills. Why the fuck are Melatonin pills in the CEREAL isle... Next to the Cheerios. He blinked again. “What in the actual crackhead layout is this?” He stared at the bottle like it had personally offended his ancestors. “Who the hell thought it was a good idea to put sleep drugs next to fucking Lucky Charms?”
.
“Eh. Whatever.” He snatched the bottle and threw it in his basket. “I’m either gonna get some good-ass sleep or die. Honestly, win-win.”

I mean, he has been having pretty bad sleep recently, and he didn't feel like walking across the store to grab Melatonin. So WHAT if the melatonin wasn’t even probably melatonin and some weird fucking drug that would kill him? I mean, what's the worst that can happen? It's not like fate is planning to kill him via Melatonin. What's the odds of that?

__________________

The odds were, in fact, very high.
 
"Shit." Amari sighs as he stares at his lifeless corpse in his kitchen. Agh.. shit. His headache is killing him. Maybe he shouldn't have taken those mysterious melatonin pills he got when he came back from groceries shopping.

"So much for playing it safe." he says to himself as he stares at his lifeless corpse sprayed out on the kitchen floor. He cringes and gags as he stares at his lifeless body. "Why the fuck did I die like that- it looks like I slammed my head against the counter.. Augh." He mutters, making a gagging motion.

He just looks away and goes back to the task at hand.

Right, he fucking died, great, wonderful, crying tears of joy!

Not mention by fucking melatonin.

At least he crossed off having the most embarrassing accidental deaths in history on his non-existent bucket list.

He rubbed his (ghost?) temples. “This is exactly why I don’t do health trends.” Honestly, he wasn’t that upset. He’d had a good run: survived midterms, free samples at Costco, three group projects with the emotionally unavailable, and now this. Honestly? On brand.

Amari just looks around the kitchen as he sighs in annoyance, but quickly notices a shadow figure in the corner.

.

He stares blankly as he tries to take in the fact his apartment may or may not be haunted by this shadow figure, and is only now noticing it.. well because he's dead...

“Oh cool,” Amari muttered, “a discount horror movie demon. Just what I needed.”

“You wound me!” the figure gasped in full drama club offense. 

Oh shit, the demon talks.

Huh.

How convenient.

“I am much more than some low-budget poltergeist!” Amari raised a brow. “Right. Sorry. My bad. I’m dead and hallucinating. Totally impolite of me to judge.” 

. 

"Are you like the devil or something? Last I checked I didn't kill anyone, besides myself, so I don't think I'm going to hell." Amari questions, crossing his now rather translucent arms.

"Anyways, introductions aside, Welcome Amari, to the dead!" the figure yelped rather enthusiastically, completely ignoring Amari.

Amari just deadpans.

At least I don't have to do that horrible group project.

“Anyhow! Let's start!” the ghost chirped, pulling a sparkly clipboard out of literal shadow mist. “Let’s see… you died young, didn’t really change the world, didn’t destroy it either… oh, average karma. Cute.”

Amari’s jaw dropped.

“I was literally recycling!”

The shadow gasped dramatically again. “Oh my… daddy issues! Wow, those just jumped out of the file like—BAM.”

.

“…okay, rude.” Amari muttered. “You’re dead, kid. Nothing’s off limits. Now let’s see where you’re headed, shall we?” the figure hums.

Amari just watched the shadow check list stuff off his clipboard. He squinted.

Is this how you get to heaven or hell? A more rather inefficient way if you asked him.

"Wait- is this how we decide heaven or hell? With a damn checklist?" Amari scoffed. "This feels like ordering DoorDash with extra steps." He deadpans.

The figure simply hums, ignoring Amari’s words.

"Okay, perfect! You are ready to go!" the figure exclaimed.

"Huh- Ready for what-" 
 
________________________________
 
Amari doesn't wake up.

Instead he feels a strong pull on his throat. He- He can't breathe.

He unconsciously tries to move his hands to his throat, instincts kicking in, with his hands trying to claw at whatever was chocking him.

He can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't breathe-
 
He jolted awake, long and rough gasps escaping his mouth, his hands immediately goes towards his neck. Nothing. No one. Just ghost asthma.
 
But before Amari can comprehend what just happened, a memory of what just happened kicked into his brain.

Right.

Dead.

Melatonin.

Goddamn Melatonin.

And that weird ghost thing- god- whatever, just transported him here. Without telling him why and what was going on. 

Amari looks around, trying to figure out where the hell he is.
 
He blinked around the room, doing a mental checklist:

• Queen-sized bed? Cute.
• Closet? Suspiciously normal.
• Door with a mirror? Narcissist chic. But cute.
• Nightstand? Standard.
• Window wide open and the SUN BLASTING INTO HIS RETINAS LIKE A HELLFIRE LASER?
 
"OW- WHO FUCKING LEAVES THE BLINDS WIDE OPEN LIKE THAT? THIS IS EYE MURDER, YOU MONSTERS-"
 
He quickly closes the blinds, eyes still blinking away sparkles of death-light, he rubbed his face like he was trying to erase reality.

Once the stars stopped dancing, he swung his legs off the bed—and saw the sticky note and the box on the nightstand.

Amari goes to grab it, only to catch a glimpse at his skin.

.

WHY THE FUCK AM I SO PALE. Not even pale straight up printer paper.

But it got worse.

Claws.

Purple-ass claws.

Like some Hot Topic demon Barbie.

Amari’s jaw hit the floor as he stared at his long, inhuman fingers. 

He gulps, moving his hand around a little just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things- okay yeah that’s 100% real.

Then he remembered the mirror on the door.
Quickly, Amari rushes over to the mirror and stands in front of it.

.

Bad move. Bad idea. Bad brain.

.

WHAT THE FUCK

Amari almost shrieks as he stares at his reflection. He cries at the sigh of his beautiful, well kept, luxurious hair no longer being there.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR!" He practically screeches

Amari internally freaks out as he goes to grab at his head to make sure he wasn't just seeing thing.
He almost lets out tears of pure despair as he finally realizes his esteemed baldness.

Tears formed. Not from sadness, but from raw rage and betrayal.

“NO. NO. NO. NO. NOOOO—MY HAIR???”
"WHAT THE HELL. MY HAIR?? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HAIR PRODUCTS COST? HOW MANY HOURS I SPENT CURLING, BLEACHING, DYING, PRAYING TO GOD HIMSELF FOR VOLUME?? AND I'M NOT EVEN RELIGIOUS!"

“THERE WAS ARGAN OIL IN THAT SCALP. ARGAN OIL!”

He dramatically dropped to his knees like he was in a soap opera. Then—he spotted them. The horns. Two on each side, all a basic-ass purple. He blinked. “…Really? This is what I get? Four little nubs like I’m about to audition for the Dollar Store Demon Convention?”

He twisted his neck to look at all angles. Still not impressed. “Could’ve given me gold tips. A lil glitter. At least let me look like a baddie if I’m dead, goddamn.”

Amari scowls, pure rage and anguish coming deep within his soul.

However what captivates him the most was the strange diamond-like marking that printed itself in the middle of his forehead. Amari goes to touch it, rubbing it only to realize it's quite literally a part of his skin.

Hm, looks pretty cool I guess...

But anyways, moving on, WHY IS HE BALD, HAVE HORNS AND THIS WEIRD MARK ON THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD???

SHADOW DUDE YOU FUCKING BETRAYER- 

He looks up at the mirror one last time, just to check his eyes weren't playing a cruel joke on him, only to whimper in pure despair when he sees he is, much to his very dismay, fucking bald.

However, out of the corner of his eye, he sees the box still on the nightstand reflecting through the mirror.
He quickly walks back to his bed, standing in front of the nightstand and picking up the sticky note that plastered itself on the top of the box.

Noticing the words written on the sticky note Amari started reading it.

He read aloud, squinting:
“Hiii so you were reincarnated!!! But I thought it would be a lil boring if you were reborn as a human Sooo I decided to reincarnate you into Phighting!!! I noticed you played it a lot after checking your records so it would not hurttt Anyhowww your gear is in the box, including a few lil trinkets just for you!!! Also your new name is Super speedy purple potion!! :D”

He blinked. Once. Twice.

Holy shit did it say phighting.

Suddenly, it all clicked. The pale skin. The weird claws. The purple-themed nightmare look. It all made sense.

Wait.

DID IT SAY PHIGHTING???

"DOES THAT MEAN SHURIKEN IS HERE???"

Mid-fanboy scream, he remembered the box still hadn’t been opened.

“Right. The box. Focus.” He looked at the box for a few seconds, before grunting. “This better be my apology for making me bald.”

He opened it with the flair of someone unboxing an iPhone made of secrets—and inside:
• A bottle of glowing purple liquid
• A witch hat (??)
• A few hundred Bux
• And a phone

Picking up the phone. It looked normal. Suspiciously normal.

Amari squints. “…You better not explode when I open Safari, I swear to God.”

Next, he picked up the witch hat. He spun it around in his hands, inspecting the stitching. “Okay, kinda cute. Needs rhinestones. And glitter. And vengeance.” He slammed it on his head, pulling it down like it owed him rent. “PERFECT. BALD WHO? I DON’T KNOW HER.” He says, trying his best to reassure himself. (It wasn’t working)

Taking off the witch hat, he continues looking at the stuff inside the box.

Then, the potion bottle.

He lifted it up slowly, watching the liquid swirl inside like some kind of chaotic Capri-Sun. “So this is my gear? Cool. But ‘Super Speedy Purple Potion’?” He snorted.

“No way in God’s crunchy green Earth am I calling myself that. I sound like a My Little Pony villain. Just call me Potion. Potion. One word. Mysterious. Iconic. Easy to scream mid-battle.” 

Amari/Potion took everything out, stuffed the box under the bed, and flopped back onto the mattress. He grabbed the phone again and booted it up—same apps, same layout.

Wait… does this mean I can-

He opened Discord with shaky excitement, hoping—just hoping—he could still message someone on Earth. Quickly clicking the profile of one of his friends, he types a quick message. Send.
The screen blinked. “Blocked message: Message could not be sent.” Potion made the most dramatic groan known to mankind.

He threw the phone onto the bed with a scoff before returning to the task at hand.

Right.

Reincarnation.

Neat.

.

At least it's not a vending machine... He giggles at his lame ass joke. (IM SORRY I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF FROM PUTTING IT IN. I KNOW IT'S STUPID LEAVE ME ALONE.)

He looks towards the door in his room, before humming and getting up.

"I should probably check the rest of the place out." Potion mutters to himself heading for the doorknob connecting his room and the rest of the building he's in. 

Dragging his feet toward the door like he was about to face judgment day—when really, it was just… an apartment.

The door creaked open slowly. “Aaaaand we’re in. Welcome to—” He looked around. “…The Afterlife’s Cheapest Airbnb??”

A surprisingly spacious living room greeted him, connected to an open kitchen that was suspiciously not dusty or cursed-looking. There was even a balcony. With actual sunlight. He gasped. “Oh wow! A BALCONY?? NATURAL LIGHT?? Do the dead get vitamin D now?" He says sarcastically, closing the door to the “bedroom” as he walks out.

He spotted another door. “Prob’ly the bathroom. Please let it have towels…” He says, making a silent prayer.

As he wandered around the place, his eyes narrowed suspiciously at the fridge.

He opened it.
 
It had food.
 

Suddenly all of this shit was worth it.
Not to mention the fridge had FRESH FRUIT? Is this heaven for the poor?

 
Potion quickly closes the fridge and looks around, and then notices a sticky note on the coffee table like some cheery passive-aggressive landlord reminder.

He read it aloud in the fakest happy voice imaginable:
“Heyaaaa!! Forgot to mention this but the apartment has already been paid in advance!! Only for a month though so I’d recommend finding a job quickly!!”

“Oh sweet!" Potion says in the most passive aggressive voice he can muster. “I just died. And I'm STILL in late stage capitalism? I guess some things never change.” He says as he grips the note so harshly as if it cursed out his ancestors. (Which, in the context, technically yeah.)

He flopped face-first onto the couch, muffled yelling into the cushions. “I got reincarnated and still can’t catch a break. Amazing. Groundbreaking. Kill me again.”

Eventually, he rolled off the couch like a dramatic noodle and pulled out his phone, typing in his Notes app like he was writing his final will.

⸻
TO-DO LIST:
☐ Get a job
☐ Figure out wtf this gear is
☐ Blend in without becoming the neighborhood cryptid
☐ Avoid getting ganged up on by the other Phighters
☐ DO  NOT  DIE  AGAIN  (Optional)
⸻

Potion sighed, ran a hand through his—oh wait. Right. He’s still fucking BALD.

“Why must God test me like this…”

With a groan that could shake the spirit realm, he stormed back into the bedroom, grabbed the phone like it owed him money, and started scrolling.

TikTok still worked.

“Oh! So instead of putting me out of my misery you let me rot my brain in peace?" He mutters, but decides to try and use TikTok anyways.

Except… no comments. No posting. No likes. He squinted at the screen, jaw slowly dropping. “ARE YOU TELLING ME I’M DEAD AND SHADOWBANNED??”

He flung himself onto his back in defeat. Then he spotted the witch hat he had ditched earlier. It sat on the edge of the bed like it was waiting for its moment. He narrowed his eyes. “Okay… let’s make this fashion, bitch.”

He walked over to the closet and flung it open like he was on Queer Eye: Spirit Edition. (Don’t ask me why my co-writer put this here. I have no clue what Queer eye even is.) Inside: a full wardrobe of absolutely random-ass clothes. But he had vision.

He grabbed a black turtleneck tank top, some bizarre Jack-the-Ripper-cape-thing (??), black pants, a belt, and a pair of stompy black shoes. He threw the witch hat on his head with flair.

“This is… this is serving. But is SLIGHTLY witchy.’”
He spun in the mirror and struck a pose. “Okay, slay. Still bald. But slay."
 
Potion blinks. Rethinks what he just said, then crouches down in shame as he cringes like crazy. 
 
He's going insane.

⸻
“While I’m here I should probably look around and figure out where I am…” He mutters as he walks out of his room. 
He notices and finds a lanyard with keys conveniently placed on the coffee table which he swears to god himself that it wasn't there before.

________________________________

[Skateboard]

Skateboard strolled down Crossroads with his hands in his pockets and a lazy hum under his breath.
No Phights booked today, no obligations—just vibes.
“Might as well hit up Slingshot’s café,” he muttered. “I could kill for something sweet.

Or at least mildly sugary.” he muttered, cracking a lazy grin. “Dude probably owes me a cookie or five anyway.”

As he cruised across the street, his humming died. Someone was standing dead in front of the café door, looking like they were about to throw up or sprint away.

Skateboard squirts, trying to get a better look at the weird inphernal.

“Huh,” he said, eyeing the figure. Big-ass droopy hat, horns, and vibes that screamed ‘weird dude’.
Skateboard blinked once, shrugged, and breezed right past.

“Not my circus, not my demon.”

________________________________

[Potion]

OH MY FUCKING GOD. THIS IS REALLY SLINGSHOT’S FUCKING CAFE.

He had barely survived the trauma of discovering he lived in Crossroads—arguably a win—before stumbling across this place.

He’d been loitering outside for a hot minute, trying to psych himself up. Going in meant facing at least three Phighters.

Not that he was scared of them! He just didn’t wanna get jumped if he said something stupid.

Okay. Breathe. Just walk in. Order a drink. Don’t scream. Don’t explode.

He was just about to go in when—
No fucking way.

Was that Skateboard??

SKATEBOARD JUST WALKED PAST ME.
“FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.” He hissed under his breath. “Abort mission. Retreat. Rethink life—”

But he was already committed.

Couldn’t turn around now without looking suspicious as hell.

So he forced himself to follow Skateboard inside, mentally screaming the entire way.

________________________________

[Slingshot]

A familiar jingle echoed from the door.
Slingshot turned, flashing a grin that could brighten the whole café. “Yo, Skateboard! Didn’t expect to see you today!”

“What’s up, man,” Skateboard smirked, leaning on the counter like he owned the place.

“Gimme an iced tea and a sandwich. Surprise me.” Skateboard said lazily as he hands Slingshot a few bucks.

“Coming right up,” Slingshot said cheerily, sliding open the register as Shuriken silently started prepping the drink behind him.

The second customer shuffled in right after—slightly shorter, hat low, aura suspicious. But friendly.With a suspiciously awkward smirk plastered on their face.
“Welcome to Slingshot’s Café,” Slingshot beamed.

“What can I get you?”

“Iced coffee, please,” came the soft reply. Quick, almost mumbled. The guy was already fishing out some bux.

Slingshot took the cash and gave a nod. “Shuriken! Iced coffee next!”

He watched as the stranger plopped into a booth and sank into the shadows like a puddle.

Huh. Definitely hadn’t seen them around before.

________________________________

[Potion]

Potion practically collapsed into the booth, trying to look casual while also restraining the absolute fangirl screaming happening inside.

I JUST SAW SLINGSHOT AND SKATEBOARD. IN THE FLESH. OH MY GOD IM GOING TO COMBUST-

He pulled out his phone and started doom scrolling through the Flipside app (Which he somehow managed to get through the app store, turns out other worldly apps connect, neat.), scanning for Phighter registrations.

Alright—Coil and Scythe are active… that puts me post-Dove/Crow, so nothing to worry about right? Just a chill and relaxing time. 

He had just started typing “How not to look suspicious at a café while seated 3 feet from literal icons” when someone approached.

Someone terrifying.

But oh so glorious.
 
Shuriken.
 
Shuriken handed him the iced coffee with a suspicious glare that could pierce steel.

“Oh, uh—thanks,” Potion said, praying his voice didn’t crack. (It did.)

“No problem,” Shuriken said flatly, hovering like a threat. “I haven’t seen you around.”

DEAR GOD PLEASE NOT AN INTERROGATION.
“Yeah—uh—I just moved to Crossroads,” He said, aiming to sound chill. Probably missed by a galaxy.

“I see,” Shuriken muttered. His eyes narrowed. “What faction are you from?”

JESUS TAKE THE FUCKING WHEEL.

“Factionless! Just y’know. Hanging out. Vibes only. Totally harmless,” Potion blurted, only making him sound MORE suspicious. (cracking under pressure can do wonders)

Shurikens eyes narrowed. He opens his mouth to say something before being interrupted.

“SHURIKEN, STOP BOTHERING THE CUSTOMERS!” a voice barked from behind the counter.

Potion turned and made eye contact with the pink silhouette —Vinestaff. Vinestaff notices his gaze, quickly flashing a "sorry about that" smile and quickly glaring back at Shuriken.

Shuriken’s face twisted with irritation as he backed off. “Sorry,” he grumbled before storming away.

Potion was left blinking in awe.
 
Oh my god.

Holy shit.

He just talked to Shuriken.

SHURIKEN.

In the flesh.

The horns.

The glare.

This was it. 

Shuriken just interrogated me and it was TERRIFYING but also kinda HOT?? IS THAT BAD?? I NEED TO LAY DOWN—

________________________________
[Shuriken]

“I’M TELLING YOU, VINE!! That shady-ass demon HAS to be a Black Rock member! Like—look at them!

Creeping around like they’re scouting the place to blow it the fuck up. And their outfit?? Literal villain starter pack!” Shuriken was practically hissing through gritted teeth, aggressively whisper-yelling at his sister in the back room.

Vinestaff pinched the bridge of her nose. “Shuri, you can’t just go around accusing people of being part of a literal terrorist faction because they give you the ick. They didn’t even do anything, and they don’t have a biograft! What are you even basing this on?! Vibes??”

“YES!” Shuriken barked, indignant. “Bad ones!”
Was it stupid to interrogate someone over their aesthetic?

Probably.

Did Shuriken care? Hell no. It wasn’t his fault that the demon had an aura like a haunted church basement and the fashion sense of a taxidermy enthusiast. Even Skateboard—Skateboard, king of not giving a single fuck—mentioned the weirdo standing outside the café for, like, twenty solid minutes.

Who the hell loiters outside a coffee shop unless they’re casing the joint? What if they were gonna blow it up?

“Listen,” Vinestaff said, poking him in the forehead, “if you harass one more damn customer based on your ‘demon radar’ I’m going to duct tape your mouth shut and make you work drive-thru.”

“WE DON’T EVEN HAVE A DRIVE-THRU,” Shuriken snapped.

“Then I’ll BUILD one. And throw you through it.”
The two continued bickering.

________________________________

[Potion]

Potion strolled through Crossroads, humming. Not because the weather was nice. Not because he was calm.

No.

Because he was avoiding having a full-blown breakdown about being broke as shit.

“Okay. I need a job. But also… fuck jobs.” He kicked a rock. “Fuck capitalism. Fuck the fact that cafés are run by demons with war crimes in their résumés. And fuck rent.”

He had three weeks left before rent was due, which in Potion Time meant: three weeks to do jackshit, panic last minute, and then probably do something illegal. Should he get a normal job? Absolutely not.

Demons didn’t do “normal.” They did “stabby if you spill the milk wrong.” And Potion? He liked breathing. Still, he figured knowing what his options were was better than signing up for the first gig that didn’t scream “you’re gonna die in a week.”

Sure he’s been reincarnated into the equivalent of someone describing down town New York, but from PHIGHTING lore, apparently, this is worse. So yeah, no, fuck public service.

“Guess I’ll keep walking…”

⸻

CLICK.

Potion shoved the door open and face planted into the couch like a sack of anxiety and broken dreams. “Mannnnn…” he groaned into the cushions. “I can’t stop thinking about this job shit. Ughhhhh…”

I should probably just worry about it later… 

He rolled over dramatically like he was dying from vibes alone and pulled out his Gear. 

“In the meantime I can try and learn how to use this…” Potion mumbles as he swirls the purple magical liquid inside.

How the fuck does this thing work?

He shook it.

Nothing happened.

“Cool. Great. Glad I have a magical item that does absolutely fuck-all.” He stared at the purple bottle like it had personally offended him.

Was he supposed to drink it? That felt like top-tier dumbass behavior. Like, “Darwin Award” levels of stupid. ‘Oh hey, mysterious sparkling goo from hell—let’s just chug it like a Capri Sun and hope I don’t explode!’ He sighed. (Completely ignoring the fact he did quite literally do that exact thing practically a few hours ago.)

“Nope. Not today, Satan.” Dragging himself to the kitchen, he was about to open the fridge when— CRASH. He screamed. Not a manly scream. A full gremlin shriek. He spun around, eyes wide, ready to throw furniture.

Instead: a random-ass package was sitting on his coffee table.

There was a sticky note on it. He tiptoed over like the box might bite and read the note.

⸻
“Hi hi! It’s me again!! I forgot to give you this but now it’s here soooo!! ALSO!! You can use this to enhance your gear!! Technically it’s a modifier but no one has to know!! Press the lil button on the bottom and it should change size! Portable magic, baby!!”
⸻

“Okay… the weird shadow thing delivers now. Cool cool cool. I’m not scared. Totally fine. Totally normal Tuesday.” Potion grumbles, a little disturbed by the fact the Shadow creature can just drop packages on him Willy nilly.

He stares at the box for a hot minute, then bolts to the kitchen, grabs a butter knife like a sword, and attacks the tape. He opened it. Inside?

A cauldron.

“…What the fuck.” He was expecting a dagger. Maybe a poison gun. Not a Witch Starter Kit.

Beneath it: glass bottles, ingredients, labels. One read gunpowder. “Gunpowder?? Are you fucking kidding me?? What am I supposed to do—brew an explosion latte?!” Then he saw the second note.

(P.S. It’s safe for YOU to drink your potions! Others? Uh. Not so much. Good luck!! )

“Oh. Great. I’m a one-man worker.” He groans, but continues looking inside the box.

Then he quickly realizes.
 
No manual.
 
No guide.
 
No ‘Potions for Dummies’ scroll.
 
Nothing.
 
He was now eyeballing the cauldron like it personally threatened his family. Great, absolutely amazing, thank you weird shadow figure! Thank you for being absolutely useless!

He stares at the cauldron, then at his hands, which were holding his "gear".

Potion sighs.

He dumped the Gear goo into the cauldron. Infinite sparkly purple liquid. Nice. Then he threw in a mushroom labeled “Poison.” Because, of course.
The cauldron glowed red like Satan’s lava lamp.
“…Should I drink this?” he muttered.

“This feels like how every horror story starts.” Then again—he couldn’t die from it. He filled a tiny bottle, and took a sip.
 
“…Tastes like regret. Great.”

_____________
NOTES: Learning how to make potions 101
⸻
[1 MINUTE LATER]
Nothing. Cool. I just drank Fancy Water with extra anxiety.
⸻
[5 MINUTES]
Started making a sandwich. Mayo helped the disappointment.
⸻
[15 MINUTES]
Finished sandwich. Still no effects. Did I make a dud? Am I just immune to magical effects now? Is this what hell looks like? 
⸻
[30 MINUTES]
Three mini potions in bottles. The rest fizzled into sparkles and trauma.
 
I don't know if scams exist in the afterlife but I would rather someone called me saying their my long lost uncle with a will of one million dollars all for me then deal with this.
_____________

He stares at the notes he made 30 minutes ago, a few thoughts crossing his mind.

He had a decision to make. Do I test this chemically questionable potion on someone? …

Yes.

Absolutely.

He has absolutely nothing else to do, so why not? If anything he could die again and meet that twink of a figure or whatever. Shadow thing, who cares.

He rigged a janky belt from a string and his kitchen drawer so he could carry his potions like the bootleg boy witch he was. Grabbed his witch hat. Locking the door.

Potion descended the apartment stairs, only to immediately spot two very familiar demons by the sidewalk. Boombox. Skateboard. Right outside his fucking apartment. “SHIT-“ He nearly tripped over his own feet trying to not be seen.

He knew about most of the Phighters living somewhat in crossroads, but he didn't realize he was gonna see them this often. He already is trying to avoid them, of course life has to be hard and say “yeah no” to everything Potion wants.

He slipped across the street like a cartoon thief, hands in pockets, head down, praying to every god in the Inpherno that they didn’t notice.

DON'T LOOK UP, DON'T LOOK UP, DON'T LOOK UP OR YOUR GOING TO GET BEAT UP-

Once across, he ducked behind a wall and whispered
“I need to be so much fucking more careful.”

⸻

“NOW—HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA FIND SOMEONE TO DRINK THIS STUPID POTION?!” HE shout-whispered to himself like a man possessed, storming into an alley like it owed him answers.

Maybe Playground Faction was the move. Gangs, weirdos, reckless idiots— the equivalent of a high school if you will, surely someone there would drink a sketchy bottle of liquid if he offered them five bux and a half-sincere hug.

With determination and a belt full of possibly-lethal Kool-Aid, Potion set off into the Crossroads like the absolute menace he was born to be.

⸻

He silently trudged down the endless sidewalk, grumbling under his breath.

“How the fuck is this sidewalk so long? This is elder torture. I’d file a complaint if I had the energy. Or if I was a whiny bitch—which, maybe I am.” He complains as he drags his body along.

He finally flopped down onto the bench at the bus stop, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“Okay… Think of a plan…”

He tapped his chin, thinking.

Maybe I could give a potion to some random demon… Or slip it into someone’s drink—no, wait, that’s morally questionable. Nah, that’s just straight-up wrong—

Before he could spiral further, the bus screeched to a stop in front of him. He jumped up, shoved a few Bux into the driver’s hand, and made his way to a seat in the middle.

⸻

Potion makes a whistle noise as he looks at playground pass by from inside the bus. Obviously, being a Phighting fan, he knew how the other factions “looked like”.

Playground was supposed to be some jungle-like city, and to no one's surprise, it did. But he does have a question who the hell is paying the electric bill in this place because pretty much everything was bleeding flashing lights.

And people say America is bad about light pollution…

________________________________

[Playground]

Potion wandered the streets of Playground.
He’d heard a rumor about an Unofficial Phight—some sketchy underground matches where demons tested their skills to become real Phighters.

He didn’t plan to fight, of course.

He was just hoping to find a few gullible volunteers for his potions. (He could lie and say it boosted their powers or something…)

Eventually, he spotted a small crowd gathered around a door. He shudders, it reminds him of college parties.

“Is this it…?” He mumbles, looking around.
As he approached, a big demon stood in his way.
Fuck. Do I have to sneak in?

“Ya here for the Phight?” the demon grunted, eyeing him.

Nope. Time to smooth talk.

“Indeed! Just here to watch the Phights. You too?” Potion grinned, waving slightly.

The demon raised an eyebrow, jotted something on a notepad. “Just watching?”

“What else?” Potion smiled wider.

After a moment of silence, the demon stepped aside. Potion strolled past, humming.

Damn, that was easier than I thought…
Smooth talking is a lot easier when it's not someone you know...

He descended the stairs, entering a crowded underground arena. The place reeked of sweat, excitement, and Inphernals packed around a fighting ring.

—But worst of all, crowded as fuck.
Potion makes a sigh, clutching his witch hat, he navigates to the back where it was less crowded, eyes scanning for someone dumb enough to try his potions.

________________________________

[Coil]

Coil scoffed as the crowd roared at another victory in the ring.

“Bunch of animals,” he muttered, covering his ears. Sure, he was paid to be here, but that doesn't mean he has to like it.

He stood in the back, arms crossed, observing—until someone unusual came into view.

Wait… that one looks like a Bedrock. What the hell are they doing here?

Coil narrowed his eyes. Everyone else was too busy watching the Phight to notice. He pulled up his hood and stalked forward.

This looks like a problem.

________________________________

[Potion]

Potion jotted quick mental notes about the layout when—
“HEY!”

He turned. A hooded figure was walking straight at him.

“You talking to me?” he asked. Unconsciously tilting his head and pointing at himself.

Before he could react, the stranger grabbed him, dragging him away from the crowd.

“WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?! LET ME GO!!” Potion shouted, struggling. Trying his best to get away from the inphernals grip but failing. (He shouldn't have skipped out on going to the gym... fuck him and his lazy behavior)

The hooded demon didn’t answer, just yanked him through a back door and into an alley.

Finally, they let go and pulled the hood back.
At least he can finally see who- COIL?! WHAT THE FUC-

Yeah. So turns out fate had more than just meeting 4-5 ish phighters! Fuck it, just throw the whole cast at me at this point!

“What’s a demon like YOU doing here?” Coil snapped, pointing an accusatory finger. “WHAT—DUDE—I’M JUST WATCHING A PHIGHT!!” Potion nearly screamed.

“Don’t bullshit me. You’re a Blackrock in the middle of Playground. Are you asking to get killed?” Coil grumbles, making Potion lean back a bit.

“I’m not Blackrock! I’m factionless!!” Potion whisper-yelled, throwing his hands up.

SERIOUSLY??? WHATS UP WITH PEOPLE AND INTERIGTION IN THIS WORLD??? IS THIS HOW YOU SAY HELLO??? JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

Coil narrowed his eyes. “Then why the fuck were you wandering around like a creep instead of watching the Phight?”

Potion just groans “Can’t a guy just look around?!”
Coil didn’t reply. His gaze dropped to the red vial on Potion’s belt.

“That doesn’t look like Gear.” Coil's eyes glare at the red glowing vial.

Shit.

“None of your business,” Potion snapped, taking a step back.
 
Wrong move.
 
Coil yanked the vial off Potion’s belt, ripping the string connecting it to the belt.

“HEY! DUDE!” Potion lunged for it, but Coil shoved him back and uncorked the potion.

”WHA-“ Potion barely is able to yell before Coil chugs the fucking potion.

HOLY SHIT IS HE DRINKING IT?!

Potion freezes in horror.
 
Coil's gonna die.

Or puke.

Or explode.

Or worse—beat the shit out of me if it does nothing.
 
Coil wiped his mouth, about to speak—then staggered. His vision blurred. Legs wobbled. He clutched the wall. “What the hell was in tha—” he slurred, then tripped.

“Whoa—man—!” Potion caught him, barely managing to prop him up.

Then he thinks. 

Wait… WHY AM I HELPING HIM?! He literally dragged me out here to interrogate me?!

But before Potion could ditch him, run away and forget all about this, Coil’s grip tightened around his neck.
 
Great.
 
Potion tries to pry Coil's hands off, but to no avail. Potion groans. A deep, annoyed, and so done groan.

“Hey man, where do you live?” Potion asked, trying to be helpful (and maybe just a little panicked). “Huh?.. waddaya say??” Coil slurred, eyes barely open.
Potion froze.

IS HE DRUNK? DID I JUST ROOFIE A PHIGHTER?!

Fuck. I can’t leave him here. If I get him killed I’m so screwed. (Not to mention probably hunted down by the other phighters because a phighter mysteriously got drugged and died.)

Potion’s groan deepens.

________________________________

[Later That Night]

Potion stumbled through his apartment door, a passed-out Coil hanging off his back. Getting him here had been a nightmare—Coil had tried to fight three people on the bus and blacked out on the sidewalk. Not to mention it is HEAVY AS SHIT. He can’t tell if Coil is a fatty or it’s just Potion being built like a twig.

Potion collapsed on the floor, glaring at the unconscious Phighter. “I gotta start working out… this is not sustainable,” he muttered. He half-lifted, half-dragged Coil to the couch and flung a blanket over him. “What do I do now?” he asked the air, then sighed, turned off the lights, and walked to his room.
“That's tomorrow's problem.”

⸻

Potion stares at their notes as they lay in bed, having just put on some Pajamas they found in the closet and jumping into bed.

Okay… so he fucked up…. Half the list already. Perfect, 2 for 2, doing great Potion.

________________________________

[Coil]

Coil woke up with a groan and a massive headache. Getting up slightly, he notices an unfamiliar environment. What- where the- His memory of last night flooded back.

THAT FUCKING WEIRD BLACKROCK DEMON. WHERE AM I?!?

He looked around, panicked—until the demon appeared in the doorway. Wearing more casual clothes, but still wearing that awful hat.

The two stared at each other. “Oh—you’re awake,” the other said awkwardly, pocketing his phone. Coil glared. “Mind telling me what the fuck happened?”

“You drank a potion. Drugged yourself. Got sick. I brought you home,” the other replied flatly, walking past Coil into what he assumes is a kitchen, grabbing a cup of water, walking back, and handing it over.

Coil stares at the cup of water, forcing the purple inphernal to awkwardly hold it out for him for a few seconds too long. “This isn’t more of your freak juice, right?” Coil asked, suspicious.

“Please. If I wanted to drug you, I’d be sneakier.” The guy rolled his eyes, just placing it down onto the coffee table because its clear Coil wasn't gonna grab it.

Coil just sits there, awkwardly, while the other inphernal just stands there.

.

By the swords this is so awkward...

“So what’s your name?” Coil says, trying his best to sound nonchalant even though it's awkward.

“Oh—gear name’s Super Speedy Purple Potion, but just call me Potion.” "Potion" simply says, leaning on his leg a bit and crossing his arms.

“You?”

“Coil.”

"Cool."

Potion gave a tight smile, it SCREAMED "Get out of my house".

“Now that you’re good, you can leave whenever.” Potion said flatly, before sitting down next to Coil and ignoring him.

Coil sat there awkwardly. Potion, unfazed, pulled something weird from his pocket. With a pop, it turned into a cauldron.

He started brewing something new. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Making more potions,” Potion replied simply.

“Why?”

“Experimenting.”

Ugh... this guy reminds me of Subspace…
Potion took out a few vials, each containing some type of substance.  

Coil watches as Potion opens one, and pours some of it into the cauldron, noticing the liquid inside the cauldron bubbled and changed color.

“What did you just make?”

“No clue. Wanna try it?”

“EW. No.” Coil gets up, preparing to leave.

“Oh, wait! Can I get your number? Or your roommate’s?”

“…Why?”

“Well, you’re strong. Might need your help again. Plus, I "Helped" you, so now you owe me." Potion says with a knowing smile.

".”

“Ugh, fine.” Coil tossed him his phone. Potion grinned and added the contact.

Coil took the phone back, heading towards the door and leaving the apartment.
 
He paused.
 
“…Wait. How the fuck did they know I had a roommate?”

Chapter Text

[POTION]

Potion grumbles as they get up from there bed. It’s been about 3-ish days since he’s been transported to Phighting, yesterday he took it as a break day because he spent the first 2 days exploring and looking around crossroads and playground. (Not to mention also housed a criminal for a good while..) “I need some coffee..” Potion yawns out as drags himself out of the bed, grabbing his hat on the night stand in the process. Exiting his room, he walks over to the bathroom and quickly washes his face with water to wake himself up, soon leaving and sitting on his couch in the living room.

Yesterday he did a bit of experimenting, and was able to make 2 more different variants of the potion he made the other, however he isn't quite sure what they even do.. which is why he is gonna go back to playground again and try and get people to drink them! Hopefully without having to drag someone to his house again.. But moreover probably instead of just giving it to someone he could lie and sell them so he can actually get something in return. Potion hums to himself as he gets up from his couch, deciding to go get some coffee while he contemplates.

________________

Currently Potion is on his way to Slingshots cafe to get the coffee he oh so desperately wanted. He’s been there a few times already so he grew somewhat of a relationship with slingshot. As Potion walks in a little jingle can be heard from the door, notifying the workers in the cafe of his presence. As Potion looks to where the cashier area is he sees the familiar face of Slingshot. ”Oh! Hi Potion!” Slingshot greets. “Quick question, were you the weird drug guy Skateboard was talking about?” Slingshot asks.

.

”Excuse me?” Potion deadpans as he walks up to the register. ”Oh- wait Skateboard doesn’t talk to you- well a friend of mine was telling me about his roommate disappearing for a whole 2 days only to come back and complain about some dude with a huge hat drugging him-.” Slingshot says as he puts a finger on his chin, trying to remember the full story. ”And since you have a huge hat I was assuming it was probably you-“ Slingshot finishes as he puts his hands down from his chin.

Oh that fucking snitch

“Um..” Potion lets out a small mutter at the story. Trying his best to come up with an excuse.

“Anyways what can I get you?” Slingshot chirps happily as he ignores what he was talking about earlier. Potion quickly recovers from the awkward question and answers Slingshot. ”Oh- just an Ice coffee please” Potion says with a small smile as he pulls out some Bux from his wallet and handing it to Slingshot. Slingshot thanks Potion as he takes it and registers it into the register while Potion waits for his order to be given.

Soon enough he receives it from Shuriken who hands it to him. (OH MY GOD ITS SHURIKEN Potion silently thinks to themselves as they take the drink from Shuriken.)

Potion walks out of the cafe, drink in hand while they take out their phone and open their contacts.

________________

Messages- Coil

Potion-  YOU FUCKING SNITCH WHY DID YOU SNITCH ON MEEE

Coil- What the hell. Who is this??

Potion-  POTION

Coil-  Oh.

Potion-  What do you mean oh??? Sobs

Potion- Anyways I need your help with smt rq

Coil- No. I’m doing something.

Potion- Ill pay you.

Coil- No.

Potion- 150.

Coil- ..

Coil- Ill meet you in 10.

Potion- yippieee

Potion- Outside slingshots cafe btw

________________

Potion hums in satisfaction as they take another sip of their drink. Now he just needs to think of a way to lie to people... He can't really call it gear modifier because that's what fucked him up last time.. maybe he could call it gear modification? That's a thing. He could just say its a gear modification because he knows that can't go against the rules.

_______________

10 minutes later

Potion throws his finished drink in a near by trashcan after drinking it. He hums to himself as he walks around Slingshots cafe, still waiting for the Phighter to appear. And soon enough, Potion can see a hooded figure approach towards the cafe. Potion hums as he walks over, catching the hooded figures attention.

Potion signals for Coil to follow, which Coil does. They walk towards the bus stop leading to Playground and wait for the bus to arrive.

_______________

Potion hums to himself as he walks around playground with a hooded figure trailing behind him. "How much longer?" Coil asks as he raises his head up, his hood slightly tilting upwards. "I heard I was just down this ally so we should be close" Potion says as he skips around. They arrived in playground awhile ago, and were currently looking for another one of those unofficial phights that happen in Playground again. They heard the phight was a little more deeper in playground then last time, in fact it was in the dead middle of it, so obviously Coil started to be on guard (from experience), whilst Potion just kept skipping around without a care in the world.

This dude is gonna get us killed.. Coil deadpans as he watches Potion walk around without a care, praying to SFOTH he doesn't bump into someone by accident and cause a fight. Once they finally reach their destination Potion signals to Coil as he notices a door leading to the Phighting Match. As the duo walks down they quickly notice the flashing lights and loud noises coming from downstairs. Once they gain a view of the Area they notice a much larger Fighting rink, with an even more bigger crowd. “Wowww, didn't expect to see this many people" Potion mutters to Coil who in turn nods back. Potion pulls on their hat as they walk through the crowd, trying to find a more open area inside the cramped room.

Once they reach a more closed off area, Potion proceeded to start conversation with a few other Inphernals. With Coil leaning on the wall as he watches Potion talk with a few other demons. Potion, with their ever convincing marketing businesses, kept on talking about the vast effects of the potion. (He had absolutely no clue what the potion did, was just pulling shit out his ass ngl) "The potion gives a slight speed effect, allowing you to hit more hits more then anything! Even then, it can be considered gear modifier more then anything really!"  Potion tries to convince the few Inphernals willing to give their time to him, only to gain a few questions more then anything.

Ugh this is getting no where.. Potion's smile almost falters as they get slightly annoyed. God selling stuff is so hard.. But before Potion can react a loud voice suddenly booms from the crowd in front of him. "Ah, you selling gear enhancer?" a tall figure walks up to Potion with a smug grin. You look like something.. Potion thinks to themselves before they quickly react. "Ah! But I'm not, I'm giving out gear modification really!" Potion says with whatever convincing tone they could muster.

"Hm, well I'm interested to see what this "Potion" is, and since its not an enhancer.. I'm sure that means I can freely use it in a match, yes?" The tall Demon asks with a sly tone. Ah. "Oh but of course! However I can only sell at a price you see-" Potion says as dramatically as they can. "Poor old me would go out of business if I gave it away for free!" Potion said with a sorrowful tone.

Coil cringed as they watch the whole ordeal go down.

"I can give you 300." The demon says as they hand Potion a lump of cash.

FUCK YEAH!!!

"Deal." Potion replies back as they hand over the Potion to the taller Inphernal. Once they receive the cash they shove it into their pockets and walk over to Coil who was watching from a corner.

"Holy shit dude I didn't think that would actually work-" Potion whispers excitedly at Coil who just grimaces. However the business at the place isn't over as Potion still wants to see what happens next after drinking the potion. Potion and Coil watch in the crowd, waiting for the inphernal from earlier to step into the rink. As they observe the finally see the person they have bee waiting for. The demon gets into the rink with a signature smile, with an Axe in hand and a potion in the other. Many people noticed the potion, seemingly confused. Wasn't gear enhancer banned?

The inphernal ignored the silent confusion and got ready to fight the other demon that just came into the rink, wielding some sort of sword. The demon with the sword also notices the potion, and quickly asks a question. "I though gear enhancer was banned, was it not?" They asked as they get into a stance. "Hah! luckily for me, this is a gear modification." The demon replies as he puts an axe on his shoulder. The other demon nods in acknowledgment and continues to prepare for the phight.

"FIGHT BETWEEN BATTLE AXE AND LIGHT SWORD! BEGIN!" The referee quickly says, a loud whistle noise being heard from the referee. Before the two demons could even begin fighting, Battle Axe opens the bottle and chugs the thing whole, making Light Sword somewhat flinch in confusion. "Reminds me of you" Potion remarks to Coil as he continues watching, receiving a grumble from Coil in return.

After Battle Axe drank the potion Potion watched in anticipation, wondering what would happen next. If Potion was honest, he was praying to god the potion didn’t killed the demon, because then he might be on a watch list.. but if it did at least he know has a poison to kill people.

Luckily for Potion, the potion in fact, did NOT kill Battle Axe, and instead they looked more stronger then ever, making Light Sword pull back a little. With a sudden burst of energy Battle Axe was able to slash at Light Sword, causing them to fall out of the rink, immediately placing them as the winner.

Potion deadpans as he watches the scene unfold, while Coil just looks back at Potion, questioning what the fuck did they sell to that dude. Potion just shrugs in return.

However, before Potion and Coil could do anything else a loud booming voice rings in there ears. "Hah! I knew I made a good choice when buying those potions off ya!" Battle Axe says as the walk up to Potion. "Say.. Could you sell me a few several more of those for me?" Battle Axe grins as he drops his gear onto the floor, leaning on it.

"O-oh! Of course!!" Potion says as he tries to set his composure straight. "Sadly I don't have any left of me as of now, perhaps another time? Say, I can give you my number and you can order whenever you want!" Potion says clapping their hands together, making a small grin. Battle Axe grunts in satisfaction, taking out their phone and handing it to Potion who quickly puts in there number and then handing it back.

"Till next time" Battle Axe chuckles as they leave Potion to his own devices.

_______________

"Holy shit I can't believe that turned out so well!" Potion says with a clap, while Coil just follows behind silently. Potion hums in satisfaction as they look at the stack of cash in their hand, quickly counting the cash to 150 and throwing it to Coil. Coil catches it mid air and inspects it, "What's this?" He question. "Your payment remember?" Potion says looking back at Coil, who just grunts and shoves the cash into his pockets. 

_______________

Potion sighs as they open the door to their apartment, he has finally found a way to make some money, and it isn't as boring as an office or customer service job so he is pretty content, plus! 300 per bottle is pretty nice... Especially when rent is only about 500 every 2 weeks. (He can't believe its that cheap here.. New York should take notes…)

Potion takes off his over coat and puts his keys onto the coffee table, then walks over to the bathroom to prepare for some shut eye.

_______________

Potion walks through crossroads, looking around the shopping area to see if anything catches his eye. He got messaged earlier to make about 15 more of those Potion things or whatever, which Potion quickly did since much effort wasn't needed, so now he is just taking a walk through crossroads to kill some time. Potion's eyes catch a glimpse of a music store, strangely however this one isn't dedicated to its respective instrument like all the others. Walking in hes met a ruby red room, with all sorts of instruments plastered all over.

Potion lets out a whistle at the place, taking notes on the clean and organized area. Before Potion could do anything else however, someone calls out to him. "Hello! You looking for anything?" A red horned demon came over while making a small wave gesture. "Ah, Just looking around is all." Potion says with a smile, however Potion takes notice of the broken horn the demon has. "Awesome! If you need any help ill be at the front!" The inphernal replies, walking back to the front of the store.

_______________

Potion walks into the (Unoffical) Phighting rink, taking in all the flashy lights and the big crowd of people in the area. This time however, Potion has a decent size bag of potions on them. Potion looks around a bit, trying to spot he person they are looking for, they walk through the crowds of people, a tight grip on their hat and the bag in hand while they push through the thick crowd. Luckily they were able to make it to a more open area near the walls, Potion looks around a bit before a name suddenly calls out to him.

"Ha! Potion right?" A booming voice says as they walk over to Potion. Potion whips his head around, recognizing the person quickly. "Ah, yes! And I got the goods you wanted." Potion hums as he greets Battle Axe. "Good." Battle Axe says as Potion hands over the bag to Battle Axe, and quickly started talking. "You already sent me the money so I think my business here is over yeah?" Potion says as they look up to meet Battle Axe's gaze.

"Ha! Of course your wanting to leave, more purchases I assume?" Battle Axe laughs as they place the bag to their side, but continues talking "I do have to say, I have a few friends of mine who might be interested in buying your, "Potions" here ya?." Battle Axe says.

"Really now? I'm interested, but I got to get going so just text me whenever you have someone you wanna hook me up with" Potion says, trying to end the conversation quickly. They didn't have anyone with them this time and they know about Playgrounds being pretty dangerous at night so they wanted to leave quickly, of course they CAN defend themselves but they don't think they could fight people from playground, especially if they came in a group.

"I'll leave you be then." Battle Axe says as they walk away, bag of potions in hand. As Potion watches Battle Axe leave they also try and find the exit of the phighting area, which they managed to do after pushing through the crowd a bit.

_______________

"That's our dude.." Someone says in the shadows as they watch the rather weak looking inphernal walk along the sidewalk. "They look kinda scrawny to me, no idea why this dude payed 1000 for us to find him." Another figure said behind them. "Who cares? Let's just finish the job quickly so I can go home." Another person replies annoyingly. The trio silently follow behind the Inphernal, one of them raising their gun.

Chapter Text

[Potion]

Potion hums to themselves as they walk through playground, basking in the night of playground, a slight pep to their step. Although it wasn't as dark as they would hope, because of all the light pollution, it was still a nice feeling. Potion can hear soft muttering in the distance, making him feel a little paranoid. Damn it, he should have probably brought Coil or someone else.. Potion tries their best to nonchalantly walk through Playground, trying his best to ignore the soft whispers he heard. However Potion's footsteps stop when he feels a bullet fly right past him. "Agh! Damn it!" Potion hears someone grunt behind him.

Potion whips his head around, finding 3 inphernals behind him, one of them aiming a Gun like object and the two others carrying a sword and a staff. Shit. Potion quickly makes a run for it, trying to use the many buildings as a way to lose them. 2 of the 3 inphernals come chasing after him. Potion quickly turns the corner, causing one of the inphernals to slip a little. "Get up galactic!" The other inphernal says to the inphenal that slipped as they continue to chase Potion.

SHIT SHIT SHIT- HE'S NOT READY TO FIGHT ANYONE- or would it be phight? Potion sweats a bit, his body growing a little weak at the constant running. Potion turns the corner again, trying to lose the inphernal with the sword, only to meet face to face with the 3rd inphernal. Shoot- He forgot about them. Potion quickly stops in his tracks, finding himself cornered. Potion whips his head around, trying to find an exit. "I'm afraid we can't let you leave." The 3rd inphernal says, a sense of authority in their voice. This makes Potion look at them, making strong eye contact with one another. Potion's eyes narrow, trying his best to assist the situation.

Its the inphernal with the staff- they are probably ranged, maybe if he can-. Potion's train of thoughts are suddenly stopped when he catches a glimpse of the potions hanging on his belt. Wait- what if-. Potion goes to grab the potions on his belt, but then stops when he hears the person with his sword call out. "Don't move." they loudly say, making potion stutter a bit with his movement. Potion changes his line of sigh to the inphernal with the sword, seeing how the sword is pointed straight to him, preparing to attack if Potion moves any further. Potion then speaks, trying his best to sweet talk them.

"How about this yeah? You tell me why you guys are chasing me and I won't do something that could end up bad for all of us." Potion says, able to mask their anxiousness in their voice. Potion watches carefully as the person with the sword doesn't make a sound. "Not much talkers are ya?" Potion says with an attempt at a smile, but ended up coming out as a weird chuckle. Potion looks back at the potions dangling on their pocket, contemplating what to do. He could probably use the ones from earlier, the one that made Coil tweak out or something, but he can't force them to drink it with the situations he is in... Potion looks back up and takes a glimpse at both inphernals.

Fuck it. Potion quickly grabs the potions he needs and throws it at the ground, causing a huge cloud of smoke to form, covering everyone in the ally way. This causes both Inphernals to become confused but also causes them to have a coughing fit. Once the smoke clears a little, allowing both inphernals to see, the 3rd inphernal catch a glimpse of tips of a hat moving out of the ally way. "Dynamic! They went that wa-" the 3rd inphernal tries their best to say, before suddenly feeling dizzy with their eyes suddenly becoming blurry.

Potions practically sprints to the bus stop to get out of playground, drops of sweat coming down his face from how much running he's been doing that day.

______________

Potion groans as he plops down onto his couch, not even bothering to put anything away and just resting. God. He was TIRED. I mean- at least he sorta knew how to use his potions in combat? But still he was tired. Not to mention being hunted down- jeez how can this day get any worse?. However, Potions attention changes when he hears a ding from his phone, and forcing himself to get up with a groan and sit down properly to inspect what happened to his phone. Opening up messages he realizes someone has messaged him.

Messages- Battle Axe

Battle Axe: I had a few friends of mine ask about the potions, I already gave them your number so expect a few messages.

And right after Potion finished reading and comprehending the message, he got 5 other ones asking about the Potions and if he can make some others.

Dang. he really did become a drug dealer.

____________

Messages- Coil

Potion: Coilllkalsjsobsisnsne

Coil: What.

Potion: I need help delivering potions tmr...

Coil: Why should I help you?

Potion: 1, because I got jumped today, 2, because I don't want to get jumped again...

Coil: How much do I get paid.

Potion: I'll give you 300...

Coil: Fine.

___________

Potion hums in satisfaction as he puts his phone away back in his pocket and heads to his bedroom. God he really needed some sleep.

___________

Potions hums in satisfaction as he looked at his bag of cash, this was his 4th delivery, which meant 1 more left for today!! And he's already made around... 2k today?? He doesn't know, but he couldn't care less because he was getting paid.

Coil grumbles as he watches the Inphernal jump around happily around Playground, without a care in the world. Coil huffs a bit as he follows Potion to his final order of the day, making sure there wasn't any signs of people preparing to attack them.

___________

Potion hums in satisfaction as he drinks his Milk tea, man he was already tired! And it wasn't even the afternoon. Coil was sitting in the same table as Potion, but Coil kept their hood up. Which was kind of odd to Potion at first, before he remembered. Right, Coil is literally a wanted criminal how could he forget?

This realization made Potion deadpan a bit. But before he can react he sees slingshot walk over with a tray of sweets. "Here you guys are!" Slingshot says happily as he puts the tray down, and giving the cake slice to Potion. "Thanks slingshot!" Potion says happily as he takes his treat. Coil just watches silently.

___________

[In blackrock...]

Subspace looks at the Biograph report, unsure what to think. He reads the report again, trying to find any details. "Playgrounders have been recently seen carrying a potion of sorts around, with the potion giving drastic effects" at first, subspace thought it was just gear enhancer, but last time he's checked Playground doesn't have anyone who is able to directly make that much of it. So he kept thinking about it. It has to be something else.

Subspace groans a bit, unsure what to think. He should probably get Hyperlazer to find the cause of this.

___________

Coil narrows his eyes as he reads the paper again and again. Shit. He needed to tell Potion. Coil throws the destroyed Biograft to the side, disregarding it.

Chapter Text

[Hyperlaser]

Hyperlaser sighs as he looks at the new assignment, reading it again. “Mission: Find evidence of the Inphernal that is selling potions, possible locations: Playground, Crossroads” Now… how the hell is he supposed to find this person? Especially if these are the only directions he has. He grumbles, both out of annoyance and frustration.

____________

[Potion]

Potion stares blankly at the paper Coil gave him, unsure what to think. Reading the piece of paper again, it just made Potion feel even more worried.

Was it possible he was being hunted down my Blackrock? 100%. did he know how to deal with it? Absolutely not. Potion sweat drops a bit reading the paper over and over.

“Where did you get this again?…” Potion asks, a hint of confusion in his voice as he looks up to Coil. “I already told you, found some Biograft with it.” Coil sighs as he leans on the couch inside Potion’s apartment.

Potion sighs as he puts down the paper onto his coffee table. Okay, he’s got to think of a plan- he shouldn’t probably stay here, or else Blackrock might find his apartment and he has to move. “Coil?”

“What?”

“Are you feeling up to having another Roommate?”

Coil stares at Potion.

____________

Potion grumbles as he sips on his Milk tea, feeling a little defeated. Okay… so Coil said no to having another roommate.. now… what else is he supposed to do?? He doesn’t want his precious apartment to be raided! Damn it he just got the stupid apartmnet! Potion silently grumbles to himself in defeat. However, he soon stops once he hears footsteps approaching him.

“Hi Slingshot!” Potion greets happily as Slingshot walks over with the usual pastry Potion orders.

”Here ya go.” Slingshot says with a smile as he places the slice of cake in front of Potion. “You looked a little gloomy earlier, what happened?” Slingshot asks with a worried smile, as he sits in the opposite chair. There weren’t that many customers today so it wouldn’t hurt to take a small break.

Potion thinks, should he tell slingshot? I mean they only really talk when Potion is in the cafe… but that’s pretty much everyday… eh it wouldn’t hurt, probably shouldn't give the full details.

”Oh, I had some issues with my apartment so I'm trying to find a place to stay in the meantime.” Potion says with a sigh. Slingshot thinks for a second, before replying.

“Ugh, that must suck! Reminds me of when I had to stay at my neighbors place because I had some issues with my home too!” Slingshot says, trying to synthesize with Potion. Wait, neighbor? Does he mean Katana? He didn’t think they would be the type to do that.

This makes Potion think back to the times he kept getting targeted by Katana when he would play healers, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. (Looking at you katana mains.)

”But! If your looking for a place to stay thieves den has some cheap places your can rent!” Slingshot happily says as he claps his hands together. Potion hums in acknowledgment. Slingshot gets up and makes a wave to Potion, quickly leaving to get back to work.

____________

Potion silently sits at the bus stop to thieves den, waiting for the bus to arrive. Potion sighs as he looks up, watching the clouds silently move around the sky. Wait, wasn't thieves den based off Asian or something?

Potion hums at the though but then quickly changes mindsets when he notices the bus to thieves den approaching. Quickly getting up, Potion grabs some cash out of his pocket and hands it to the driver when he enters the bus.

Potion silently walks to the back of the bus, quickly finding a spot next to the window and sitting. Potion looks outside, watching other people walk inside the bus. Potion then feels movement besides him, and assumes that its just someone siting next to him.

Potion slightly looks over and notices a helmeted inphernal with blue and black plastered all over.

Wait.

Potion takes another glance.

.

HOLY SHIT ITS FUCKING HYPERLASER. WHAT DO I DO- UH UHHH

Suddenly the window is quite fascinating.

Potion whips their head around to look out the window, trying his best to not look weird or suspicious. Potion slightly tugs on their hat, trying their best to cover their face. 

Potion sweat drops a bit as he silently freaks out, but tries his best to not show it. But then Potion hears a voice talking to him.

”Um, are you alright? Is something bothering you?” Hyperlaser asks, slight roughness in his voice. This makes Potion slightly tilt his head, making his face visible to Hyperlaser. “Oh- its nothing, sorry.” Potion says, trying to excuse themselves.

Hyperlaser looks down, inspecting Potions attire. “Are those potions?” Hyperlaser asks, trying their best to sound somewhat cheerful. “Huh? Oh uh yeah…” Potion says, looking down at the few potions tied to his belt. “May I ask where you got them?” Hyperlaser says as they continue to eye the potions.

”I uh…” Potion starts…

Wait a second.

ISINT BLACK-ROCK TRYING TO FIND ME??

I SHOULDN'T TELL HIM SHIT.

“I got it from this dude in Playground.” Potion says, making a smile as he looks up to Hyperlaser.

Hyperlaser grunts in acknowledgment before facing the front of the bus. Potion returns to facing the window, trying to ignore the fact that fucking Hyperlaser was near them.

"Say, could you be more specific? I have some business with the person who is selling." Hyperlaser says somewhat quietly, only making it possible for Potion to hear.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I SAY. UHHHHH-

"Oh, didn't meet the guy directly, got it from a friend actually!" Potion tries explaining the best they can, making Hyperlaser turn their head slightly twords him to hear better.

"But my friend told me they met the dude in some part of Playground!" Potion says with a smile. Hyperlaser hums, "Is it okay if I inspect the potion?" Hyperlaser asks, pointing to the potions on Potion's belt.

"Oh- I- Sure!" Potion says, quickly untying one of the potions dangling on Potion's belt and handing it over to Hyperlaser for inspection.

Hyperlaser tilts the potion, the green-ish liquid moving around within.

Potion watches silently, praying to whatever that Hyperlaser doesn't ask any more questions and just gives it back.

"I see." Hyperlaser simply says as they hand back the potion to Potion.

____________

[Hyperlaser]

This guy is hiding something.

Hyperlaser silently sighs as he faces the front of the bus. The Inphernal's story didn't exactly make sense, I should probably follow them and see if they can lead me to any clues.

Soon the bus stop makes it to a certain part of thieves den, and Hyperlaser can hear the Inphernal beside them ask a question. “Uhm, excuse me but can you let me get up please?” They ask nicely as they face Hyperlaser.

”Oh. yeah sorry…” Hyperlaser says, quickly getting up and letting the inphernal pass by. Hyperlaser closely watches the inphernal leave the bus, quickly remembering the stop.

____________

[Potion]

Potion lets out a breath of air he didn't realize he was holding. Looking around he notices the nice scenery of thieves den, with trees and flowers pretty much everywhere. He also notices a huge mountain in the distance, earning an impressed hum from Potion. 

Potion starts walking around the area, noticing a few houses lined up nicely. Walking along the overgrown walkway, he takes notes of the nice scenery and all the plants surrounding said area.

Potion continued to look around the area, pretty much forgetting about what happened a minute ago.

_________________

[Hyperlaser]

Hyperlaser sighs as he gets off the bus. 

I need to find that Inphernal...

Hyperlaser starts making his way through the familiar pathways, reminiscing in the calming air of theives den.

I should visit Katana later...

__________________

Potion sighs as he walks around. He's been walking around for... 20 minutes now? And sadly he hasn't found any... Well good place to stay.

He did find a small apartment place ran by some Inphernal, but they didn't have any openings to Potion was forced to leave.

Potion grumbles as he adjusts his hat a little. Walking around he notices a short cut, an alleyway between two houses which can put him deeper into the village.

Potion walks through, before landing his eyes on a familiar figure at the end of the alleyway.

Hyperlaser.

Except this time they had their sniper out.

.

"Um.." Potion steadily says as they look between the sniper and Hyperlazer. Hyperlazer only sighs, quickly aiming their sniper towards Potion.

"Blackrock has ordered you to be brought back to base. You will come with me quietly and without a fight." Hyperlaser says as they slowly walk close, sniper still pointed towards Potion.

I really got to start avoiding allyways.

Should Potion go with Hyperlaser, with the possibly being killed and or imprisoned?

FUCK NO.

I probably can't do the same tactic from last time... Hyperlaser is a little too far away for that... Plus they have a fucking sniper so...

Potion slowly but surely walks back, earning a sligh movement from Hyperlaser. 

Do I have to fight him..?

.

.

.

Before Hyperlaser can even react, Potion makes a dart for it, quickly running away.

NOPE NOPE NOPE- IM NOT GONNA FIGHT HIM.

Hyperlaser quickly reacts, shooting his sniper straight at Potion. Potion gets hit with two bullets straight in the arm, causing a grunt of pain from Potion.

Potion quickly makes it out of the ally way and running down the street. They hold on tightly around the wound, trying their best to keep it together when there is are two fucking bullets lodged in their arm.

__________________

[Hyperlaser]

Hyperlaser’s breath hitches a bit as he quickly runs down the alleyway, spotting the demon once again.

Shoot… I need to disable him.

Hyperlaser aims towards the inphernal’s leg, but their attention changes when they notice something flying through the sky. Hyperlaser looks up, noticing the object in question is… a potion?…

However the potion lands in front of Hyperlaser, not even hitting him at all. The bottle breaks upon impact with the ground, with the liquid inside splashing everywhere. Hyperlaser looks up, noticing the inphernal is gone.

Hyperlaser sighs in annoyance, before returning his attention to the broken bottle and watches at the liquid inside spreads.

Walking a little closer, Hyperlaser breaths a little too close to the liquid, making him instantly regret it as he feels his throat tightening up.

Hyperlaser steps back a bit, hand quickly moving to his neck in impulse. Hyperlaser’s vision starts darkening, making him stumble a bit.

Hyperlaser’s mind starts racing, trying to figure how what the hell is happening to him.

Before Hyperlaser can do anything, his mind went blank and he fell to the floor.

__________________

[Potion]

"Ow ow ow..." Potion takes a deep breath in as he stares at the wound. He was loosing a lot of blood- well Ichor? Is that what they call it?

Instead of the usual red blood that would come out when you were injured as a human, he instead bled a black substance.

I remember something on the wiki saying inphernals don't bleed blood, but bleed Ichor I think?...

Potion sighs as he covers the wound, Ichor getting all over his hands.

I don't have anything to clean or wrap the wound... Fuck everything hurts.

Potion's breath hitches as he tries to move from the wall he's leaning on making him squeeze his arm a little too hard,  causing more pain.

Potion sighs as he thinks back to what happened earlier.

I hope to GOD that potion worked...

Potion grumbles as he gets up from the wall he's leaning on, and starts walking down the street.

I need to find a place quick...

Potion holds firmly on the injured part of his arm, trying to cover it the best he can. Droplets of Ichor falling from the tips of Potion's clawed hand.

Potion tries to make it as far as he can, trying to find... Well he's not sure but somewhere that could help him.

Potion's vision starts darkening, his head starting to hurt.

Shit... I'm loosing a lot of Ichor I need to-...

Potion grumbles as he leans on the wall, trying his best to stabilize himself.

Potion's breath starts becoming rough, Potion falls to the ground, pain and ichor-loss coming over him.

[Katana]

Katana walks around his house, tidying it up a bit. He wasn't scheduled for a phight any time soon so he had all the time he needed for himself. Katana silently waters the plants on his counter, gracing their soil with the perfect amount of water.

I should water the plants outside too...

Katana walks over to the living room, grabbing his mask and putting it on. He brings the watering can outside with him as he passes by his kitchen to reach the front door. He unlocks his door and opens it, walking out as he closes it behind him.

Katana walks a little more forward, trying to water the plants left on his porch.

However Katana's attention changes when he notices something next to his house. Placing down the watering can and walking down his porch, he finally sees it.

.

A "dead" Inphernal, or at most fainted. Katana wonders what he should do, walking a bit closer and checking the inphernals pulse. Well they aren't dead that's for sure.

Katana notices a huge puddle of ichor, making him realize.

They probably fainted from loosing too much ichor.

Katana sighs as he walks back into his house, and quickly coming back with a medkit he kept in his pantry. He tries to find where the wound is, using the ichor to track where it is.

He finds two decent sized bullet wounds lodged deep inside the inphernals arms and quickly wraps bandages around it.

Although this wasn't ideal, this should stop the ichor from leaving. He will clean the wound later.

Katana, quiet easily, picks up the inphernal and brings them back inside.

Their isn't any healers nearby... I probably should just take him in and wait. Once vinestaff arrives back I could probably ask her to heal the person.

THANK YOU FOR THE FANART!! IM ACTUALLY SHAKING SM THIS IS SO FIRE I NEVER RECIEVE FANART OF MY OWN CHARS AGAHHAEGHEAGHEH 

If you can't see the image open it in a new tab!

AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH!! ALL THE CREDITS GO TO @w04hz0n3 ON TIKTOK YAYAYAY!!

Also some random Potion skin idea I was thinking about- tell me your thoughts!

Chapter Text

MY ART:

COMMISSIONED ART:

ORIGINAL ARTIST: @xue_xuan ON TIKTOK

ORIGINAL MODELER: Fataluses ON DISCORD

FAN ART:

ORIGINAL ARTIST: @w04hz0n3 ON TIKTOK

ORIGINAL ARTIST: @joobsfr ON TIKTOK

ORIGINAL ARTIST: u/cxlestiality ON REDDIT

ORIGINAL ARTIST: @cyro0._ ON TIKTOK

ORIGINAL ARTIST: https://www.tumblr.com/fynzies?source=share

Chapter Text

WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER HAS A LOT OF SPOILERS, AVOID IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY

WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER HAS A LOT OF SPOILERS, AVOID IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY

WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER HAS A LOT OF SPOILERS, AVOID IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY

HP: 80 (this bitch is fucking weak)

SHIELD: 120

TOTAL: 200

_______

Passive: Speed Potion

Has a constant 45% faster walk/run speed than other Phighters.

_______

Class: Support/ranged

_______

Normal Hit: potion

Throw a potion at an enemy doing 10 Damage, 25 for headshots.

(5 hits) Reload after hits.

Secondary Hit: cauldron

Drop a cauldron onto a nearby enemy dealing 35 damage. (With a 2 sec stun)

(close range)

Cooldown:25 secs

Q: Poison

Throw a Potion at the ground, making the area covered in Potion effects.

Enemy: Give tick damage with the “Posion” Effect (5 Damage every tick)

Teammate: Provide shield tick with the “Shield” Effect (5 Shield every tick)

Cooldown: 30 secs 

E: Shield

Throw a potion at a teammate giving them 60 shield, 120 for headshots. (Or lower if teammate max shield is low. (Will work on phighters with no shield)

cooldown: 35 seconds

Phinisher: Rain of despair.

Throw a potion into the sky, making it explode and form a huge storm like cloud with acid like raindrops.

Leave a PERMANENT Tick damage for your next 2 lives if you were caught in the rain. Not even heals can save your fate.

1 life: 5 tick damage.

2 life: 1 tick damage.

25% slower charge time

(to clarity the first life is the life where you get hit with the phinisher- if that wasn’t clear)

(pretty much the no death challenge killer)

voice lines:

Crossroads spawn:

”Hah! I wonder how much I can sell for this..”

”I wonder if any of my friends are around here.."

“I didn’t leave anything right?”

”Ooh!! I wonder if I can use these in a potion..”

_______

Phinisher:

“The rain will carry your weight.”

“There is no escape from the acid winds”

”Oops looks like you forgot an umbrella!!”

Basic Kill:

“PLEASE don’t faint on me-“

”I wonder if demon horns can make a potion…”

”SORRY!! Didn’t mean to-“

”Sounds like skill issue Ngl”

”Ts pmo istg fr fr 💔💔”

Basic Headshot:

”KABOOM! THERE GOES YOUR TOWER-“

First Blood:

”When the team is kinda buns you get first blood 💔”

”Jeez man, dying to a support is kinda rough huh?"

Using secondary:

”*LOUD BANG NOISE*”

Using Q:

”GET OFF THE POINT I SWEAR TO GOD-“

”Stop spawn camping bruh”

”If I miss this up I’m gonna kill myse-“

Using E:

”TAKE THE SHEILD YOU STUPID YOUR GONNA DIE-“

”Sorry bro, can’t heal- only shield”

Assist:

”FUCKING BULL SHIT THAT KILL BELONGS TO ME!!”

”Eh- at least I tried”

”Hm”

”Do I get half the pay then?”

Revenge:

”Pst… I can sell you a gear enhancer for-“

“New test subject~!”

Shutdown:

”Sorry buddy~ Not happening”

”I wonder if I get paid extra for that-“

Round victory:

”Oohoho that cash is gonna look so good”

”It’s fate”

“Oh I am SO gonna rub this into Coils face”

Round lose:

”Lock in gang 💔”

”Not my fault, I did the best I could”

”This is what I get for playing support”

”I currently have 36 bombs planted in your house.”

_______

Special Interactions:

Kill:

Katana-

“Sorry Da- I mean katana.”

”Ya think it’s the old age getting to ya?”

Coil- 

“L + Ratio + No dad OR mom”

“Sorry broski, a man’s gotta do what they gotta do”

skateboard-

“Wanna test out this potion that makes you faster?”

Shuriken-

“SHURIKEN IM YOUR NUMBER 1 FAN PLEAS- oh wait this is a phight-“

Slingshot-

“PLEASE UN-BAN ME IM SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY DRUGED ONE OF YOUR CUSTOMERS-“

Subspace-

“Did I technically kill my boss-“

Hyperlaser-

“Seems like your aim isn't gonna save you.”

”It’s okay, I’ll adopt princess for you”

Ban hammer-

“Cant believe I avoided the cops-“

Medkit-

“An eye for an eye I see.”

“Burns are deeper then scars.”

Assist:

Katana-

Potion: “Put some more faith in me will you?

Katana: “Hah! As if I can trust you.”

Coil-

Potion: “Want some assistance?”

Coil: “Whatever.”

Skateboard-

Potion: “Whoa, skates you almost fell off!”

Skateboard: “SHUSH SHUSH SHH NO ONE SAW THAT SHUT UP-“

Shuriken-

Potion: “HI SHURIKEN ITS SO COOL TO SEE YOU”

Shurken: “Your the weird black rock guy right?”

Potion: “OH MY GOD HE REMEMBERS ME THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE OM-“

Slingshot-

Potion: “Heyyy so I was thinkingggg you could-“

Slingshot: “No.”

Potion: “Yes sir…”

Subspace-

Subspace: “Nice hit”

Potion: “Mhm, same for you!”

Hyperlazer-

Potion:”I saw you get jumped earlier”

Hyperlazer: “We don’t speak of that.”

Banhammer-

Banhammer: “I’ll let you off the hook this one time.”

Potion: “Aha…”

Medkit-

Potion: “Think I can borrow that gun of yours?”

Medkit: “If it’s for anything but Phighting then no.”

_______

Ally:

Katana-

Potion: “Hey Katana can I crash at your place again”

Katana: “You already know where the keys are.”

Potion: “Thankssss”

Katana: “Did you make anything new yet?”

Potion: “Why? wanna test it?”

Katana: "Absolutely not."

Potion: “Katana, wanna grab a snack after this?”

Katan: “I though you were banned from lost places-”

Coil-

Potion: “Hey… so I made thi-“

Coil: “No.”

Potion: “At least let me finish my sentence you biggie”

Potion: “Guess what.”

Coil: “What?”

Potion: “Chicken butt- WAIT IM SORRY-“

Potion: “What if I turned into a worm one day, would you still call me bro”

Coil: “Hell no, I would probably feed you to a stray dog”

Potion: “Fair enough..”

Skateboard-

Potion: “Your roommate likes me more-“

Skateboard: “What-“

Skateboard: “Can you make a potion to go faster…”

Potion: “Perhaps”

Shuriken-

Potion: “*Visibly shaking*”

Shuriken: “Hey um you okay?”

Potion: “OH YEAH IM FINE- UM YOU LOOK SO COOL BTW.. yeah.. hah..”

Potion: “Oh my fucking god shuriken is standing next to me I’m gonna fucking die for happiness-“

Shuriken: “..”

Slingshot-

Potion: “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-“

Slingshot: “NO.”

Slingshot: “Potion, I got you some cupcakes”

Potion: “Aww that's so sweet!”

Slingshot: “Of course!”

Subspace-

Subspace: “Hey, could you sell me another one of those?”

Potion: “Sure thing!”

Subspace: “Hm, your Potions are quite affective I must say.”

potion: “Only a genius truly knows the effectiveness of a creation!”

Hyperlazer-

Hyperlazer: “Would you mind baby sitting princess again?”

Potion: “Or course!!”

Potion: “Your aim sucks.”

Hyperlazer: “Okay “Speedy P””

Potion: “DON'T CALL ME THAT IN PUBLIC-“

Potion: “Could you pretty please teach me how to use a gun?”

Hyperlazer: “Why should I?”

Potion: “Because...”

Ban Hammer-

Potion: “OH SHIT ITS THE COPS-“

Ban Hammer: “GET BACK HERE YOU MUTT!“

Medkit-

Medkit: “Mind selling me one of your potions?”

Potion: “Medkit I didn’t know you did drugs-“

Medkit: “300 Bux and you shut up.”

Potion: “Yes sir.”

Medkit: “How do you even make the Potions?”

Potion: “Company secret!”

Medkit: “If you must..”