Archive of Our Own ^beta

Pure Vanilla has always been an artsy person; When he was young, he used to do all sorts of gifts for special occasions. Face sculptures for Golden Cheese, a bunch of poems for White Lily and even short songs for Hollyberry. But the more old he got, the worse his eyesight was, to the point he was only able to see with the help of his staff. His blindness made it difficult for him to do anything other than drawing and writing, so he ended up just doing portraits and letters for his friend's birthdays.

There is one problem though, Dark Cacao's birthday was getting closer and closer and Pure Vanilla is always anxious during those times. Is it because he didn't like Dark Cacao? No. he's always been one of his closest friends. Is it because he doesn't know what to gift him? Also no, since he decided to make a portrait. The problem is, Pure Vanilla is never satisfied with how the gifts for his friend turn out.

Every year he tried something different; Like last year, when he tried to write him a letter. "Dear Pure Vanilla, your letter was so beautiful and emotional, even if we can't be together in this occasion i will always cherish the gifts you send me. Thank you so much"  wrote Cacao in return, but Pure Vanilla thought it was a horrible and mediocre letter. He does not want to feel like that again, so this time he tried his second best thing; Paintings.

He always loved to paint Dark cacao; His beautiful long black hair with white strands, the shiny purple eyes that made contrast with his probably soft dark skin.. even his tired expression gave Pure Vanilla the inspiration to make 200 paintings, everything about him was so ethereal, but he never understood why. Maybe he's just naturally the best muse. Pure Vanilla thought to himself.

Since young Vanilla used to always draw doodles his friends, maybe a portrait won't be hard, right?

....

Almost a whole day passed. He spend the entire afternoon trying to finish that portrait of his friend, a million canvases on the floor, each one with a different version of Dark Cacao that was never finished because Pure Vanilla thought they weren't good enough. they all had the same process of Vanilla being really excited with how the painting was turning out, then getting disappointed over how bad it looked and scrapping it right away.

It was confusing, because the art was fine, specially for someone who could only see with a staff, But Pure Vanilla wanted them to be perfect. Not good, not fine, not okay, perfect.

Maybe, that's how you see Dark Cacao. a little voice in the back of Pure Vanilla's mind snapped, getting him out of his constant crisis over the painting. You're not a perfectionist with anyone else's gifts as you are with him, maybe the inspiration he gives you it's not for the reason you think it is, maybe, you thinking his beauty is indescribable and how a painting could never replicate it it's not only because he's your muse, maybe, just maybe, he's your divine muse for another reason..

....

It's already nighttime and Pure Vanilla hasn't made a single progress with the gift. He's tired, he's cold, he's overwhelmed, and he's confused over feelings he doesn't want to realize, since it could made things much worse. He wasted so much time over nothing as if he was in his damn teenage years again.

" I'll do this tomorrow " he says to himself in a tired voice, just to immediately fall asleep the second he steps a foot in his room, ready to repeat the same process of trying to make the perfect gift the next day.