Archive of Our Own ^beta

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You know what to do... ask my ocs n shit.

This fic isn't canon, but the answers can be.

Since ROTRS has yet to be fully updated, lemme give a brief rundown on each char.

Hawt/Hellfiah Saus - The title character, the squirrel with the horrible life.

Slushi - "Friends" with hawt. Something seems a bit deeper between the two though...

Any other chikn nuggit char - yes, they exist. No, Onyn isn't here yet.

Overlord Bludoreng - The overlord of hell. Surprisingly kind and benevolent. Has been pulling the strings for Iscream, who is their (nonbinary) son in this continuity, so their life would go well.

Saulsa - Beta Hawt Saus. Abusive Father. Possible gangster? Hate Sink.

Pisa Saus - Now a ghost nobody else can really see or hear. What happened to make her death like this?

Xpreso - Cofi's mom, and Hawt's adopted mother. Really nice, but nobody knows what happened to her... until now.

Cofi - Hawt's her adopted brother in this continuity. Really good sheep, even if she's stoic as hell, ESPECIALLY after Saulsa forced her to run away.

Pheesh Sticc - Faker Chikn. Absolute melty goober who cannot pronounce things right. Is mentally a child.

Hammborger - A fake Cheezborger who wants to believe they're real. They're harmless, but they don't wanna be caught imitating her. Stims and moves in different ways to the real chee.

Onyon Reeng - A glitchy as hell porcupine, somewhat reminiscient of Snick and Filename2/NULL. Scared, glitchy, meta, but well meaning. Their past waaaaaaaa645w3546443q64^&^%#$&*%$#@^R*#[DATA CORRUPTED]

Overlord Staarfroot - Fwench Fwy's overlord. Some people say they have something going on with Bludoreng... but those are just rumors, right?

Bayh'gel / Little Horn - Yeah. They're mostly unchanged besides the name, and the lore. Friends with Iscream though!

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-- Chikn, I get that you don't like your friends getting hurt, but holy heck man, you darn near killed Hawt Saus. What could possibly have brought on that much anger? --

Chikn: "... Something about seeing Chee getting hurt just.... Really overwhelmed me. So after I had the thought that he might've done MUCH worse to her... I just saw red."

The dog looked like he was about to cry. He was certainly whimpering.

Chikn: ".... I just wanted her to be safe......"

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— Can somebody please get this dog a hug and some hot cocoa —

Chikn: “… O-oh…. Err……. Tanks…. I… really, REALLY needed that…”

Chikn whimpers sadly as he hugged the commenter back.

Chikn: “…. Why the hot cocoa, though? T-that’d kill me if its not fake chocolate. Do you actually want me gone? …. Because i sorta want myself gone too, hahah…”

The dog paused, before giving you a pained smile.

Chikn: “Ha-hah, m-my little joke!”

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-- What's Cofi's opinion on Pisa Saus? --

Cofi: ".... I never saw her. Hawt never told me about her. He just looked like he was on the verge of tears whenever anybody asked. I guess some secrets are better left buried..."

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-- Do Pheesh and Hammborger know each other? --

Pheesh: "Yip! Yip yip yip! I do knoe abut tem! Hammboreger is graet fren!"

Hammborger: "Pheesh is annoying and an idiot. I love him very much."

-- How much does Chee know about Cofi's family? --

Chee: "Cofi... she... really hasn't told me about her family yet. All I know is that Hawt is her brother, and she has a mom."

Cofi: "Don't worry, Cheezy... I'll tell you about them eventually."

-- What's Bezel doing in all this? --

[SPOILER REDACTED]

Bezel: "You're going to have to wait and see, as Armageddon waits for no one! What fun would it be to spoil the surprise?"

-- OOC: What point in time does this AU take place? I'm assuming before the whole Demigod arc --

That's an easy one; verge of demigod! It's going to happen still, but it'll be late in the fic.

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-- "Dear 'immortals,'
I am interested in where exactly you all come from, and the extent of your powers.
-A stranger" --

Iscream: "Hell! Duh! My dad is literally one of the people you can ask! You'd be dead if you snuck down there yourself! :D"

Fwench Fwy: "I'm a dragon from the realm of virtue, but you can call it Heaven!" 

The wish dragon sweated a little, as if something was off with their statement.

Bezel: "I am from the never ending abyss, I've seen every single life and death. You cannot comprehend my powers, for they'd probably snap your mind like a twig... or make you fall in love with me like this damned rabbit!"

Iscream: "Well, daddy time~"

Bezel: "DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

Iscream: "You may be strong enough to actually fucking kill me, but I have the power of the dark forces on my side! So you might as well kneel over and DIE!"

The dragon helped the time embodiment shove the demonic rabbit off their leg, giving the clock one hell of a death glare.

Fwy: "Stop it, iscream! Don't make me use MY powers to seal you in a boring ethereal 9 to 5 job again!"

Iscream: "Oooh, torturing your lover, huh? That's hot!~"

Fwy groaned, but blushed. Bezel also groaned, but it was moreso out of exhaustion.

Bezel: "Aaaand this is why I'm single."

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-- "Woah, brah, that looks like a pretty rocky relationship that rabbit and that dragon have. You two alright in lover's lane or is there a rough patch?

-Oren" --

Iscream: "ᵂʰᵒ ⁿᵃᵐᵉˢ ᵗʰᵉᶦʳ ᵏᶦᵈ ᵒʳᵉⁿˀ Rocky? What do you mean Rocky? Do you mean it rocks? Because it suuuure does!~"

Fwench Fwy: "Oh! Errr, thanks for the concern, but... trust me, things are amazing! I know I should be kind of annoyed by them, but... I'd be lying if I said I didn't love them."

Iscream leaned on Fwy's shoulder while they were speaking.

Iscream: "Awwww, I love you too, Mini Baphomet!~"

Fwench Fwy looked annoyed by the nickname, but at the same time, was trying not to chuckle.

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-- “I don’t understand why the cat just let that guy hit her. Hit him back next time! Sheesh.

-A fellow cat” --

Cheezborger: "... You... do know there was literally no signs he was going to do THAT, right? And besides, I don't think hitting him back would make me anything but a hypocrite. I do not want to hurt somebody who isn't feeling good in the head, ok?"

-- “Dear ‘Overlord Bludoreng,’

I am informed that you are the supposed ruler of hell. An impressive title indeed, but… how exactly did you come into possession of your demonic… pet? Child? I am not sure.

Sincerely,
Black” --

Bludoreng: "Oh, my little boy, right? Well... Let's just say, when 2 demons love each other very much, they-"

Fwy: "AAAAAAAAND WE'LL STOP RIGHT THERE! I do NOT wanna be reminded of how Twisted Ophanims reproduce, whether its the asexual way or the extra unholy way!"

Bludoreng: "... Huh, alright, sorry Fwench Fwy. Anyhow, Iscream? 100% biologically mine. Look at my little son! They're going to grow up to be a very very powerful being like their dad!"

-- “Just making sure that squirrel is ok. He seems to be in a bad place :(

-Pinki” --

Cheezborger: "That's what I'M saying!"

Hawt Saus: "Uhhh, hahah, yeah, that's one hell of an understatement, huh? Glad to know somebody carrrrrwait a second. You're that "Pinki" fellow that Iscream told me was saying something racist towards demons! What the hell is your problem?!"

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--“Jevin has since filled me in on the etiquette that I was unaware of, as well as the fact that the phrase I used is extremely derogatory. I apologize deeply for my words.

-Pinki

P.S. I attached some hot cocoa (fake chocolate). Heat it up as much as you want”--

Bludoreng: "Intriguing. I don't touch hot chocolate, but I can give it to Iscream. Thank you. Also, you're forgiven. You won't have to worry about seeing ME after death!"

Iscream: "Thanks Dad!"

Bludoreng: "You are welcome, my little demonicus lupus."

--"Do I smell PUSHOVER?

-A ca--

The burger cat didn't even have to finish reading the name before yanking it into her paws and tearing it up, much to Cofi's intrigue.

Chee: "Look, I usually don't speak like this, but... You really ARE an asshole, aren't you? I don't get why you talk like violence is the answer, alright? But you need to learn that you can't do that."

Cofi was completely in shock. Chee NEVER spoke like this before.

Chee: "That is called assault, and you can be locked up for it. Nobody would wanna be a friend with people who defend fighting people who are already mentally destroyed, right? Please learn from this. Never try to tell me to punch him back, ok?"

Cofi: "Holy SHIT Chee... That was sick."

Chee: "Thanks Cofi..."

-- "Hey, I made this drawing, thought it was cool, here. Hope things get better.

-Sky"

(Attached is a decent drawing of the Chikn Nuggit cast, plus Hawt Saus.) --

Hawt Saus: "I'm surprised you even saw all of us. I'm pretty sure some people were never asked. Still, I think you did good! But watch your outlines next time when coloring, as it bleeds into the background at some point."

Onyon Reeng: "H3 knows bec@us&^%#$%^Y^RT*(I)(%eryth1ng i5 on Y0utube and 7witter."

Hawt Saus: "... What."

Onyon Reeng: "0H SH&%^$#^&*(*iu@##IDN'7 MEAN TO S@Y THAT OUT L0UD!"

The self-aware glitchy porcupine promptly slid off without animation at a concerning speed. Hawt was absolutely confused, having not even heard the full thing.

Hawt Saus: "... What's that guy's problem?"

-- "hiii i wrote you guys a letter!

-Brud" --

Pheesh: "HHHIIEEEEEEEE!" :D :D :D :D

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-- "Hey, sorry, my friend Wenda wrote those letters that weren't marked. Don't take anything she says personally.

Oh, right, I was gonna ask. How's Cofi feeling about all this? I mean, it's your brother that's getting into all this hot water, but I want to make sure *you're* okay too.

-Gray" --

Chee: "It's ok, just please, teach her that being a jerk isn't going to get her anywhere in life, ok?"

Cofi: "... It's fine. It's the reason why I found him again, so I don't particularly find it bad."

-- "Hey, Vineria here. Got a question from me and a close personal friend here. First, from me: I've heard from Black that Iscream's got a green thumb. Whatchya been growing? Any gardening tips I could use? --

Iscream: "Ok, so number one; Be prepared. Deathodils are VERY territorial and tend to kill other plants in surprisingly violent ways if they grow too close to their stems. Make sure you can act fast if they get too close!"
"Number 2, have some meat ready and be prepared to murder animals. Painsies and Mercury Flesh Traps tend to feed on meat, no matter how rotten. They prefer dead meat over live meat, though, but make sure you don't neglect them, or they might chomp off part of your paw."
"And number 3, make sure the plants have some alcohol around them in their pots, so the pests will get addicted to the smell and drown in it, saving you a LOT in bug spray. They also make good food for your Mercury Flesh Trap!"

--And this one is... anonymous. 'Overlord Staarfroot, I've come to understand that you are the celestial authority of your world. How do you handle the stress? And more importantly, how should I be a better protector?'--

Staarfroot: "... Interesting. Very well. If you're trying to be a protector, expect failure. It is inevitable in life that you will fail at least once. It's important not to get hung up on that failure, but instead learn from it and grow and improve as a result. And as for handling the stress, being around more positive people helps tremendously. But what's this about me being the Celestial Authority? I am far from the world's god, and said god refuses to show their face to anybody but the highest-ranking protectors, demigods and fellow gods." 

--"Hey hi hello fellow child Sody can we be friends you seem combustible

-Mini Gray"--

Sody Pop: "Heck yeah! We can explode buildings together! Just make sure you don't snitch to my mommy, ok?"

-- "hello i am mr black i want to know if any of you are planning to go on any trips anytime soon and the length of this trip

-mr black" --

Pheesh: "Fren! Litl Fren! Lessgo vacatation togethr!"

-- "Feeling sad? Feeling lonely? Feeling enXighXXXed? Don't cry! Just use the handy materials provided in the letter and I'll help XyseXf!

-The Normal Guy"

(Attached are items very clearly part of a summoning ritual.)--

Bludoreng: "...THJARJURUS?! We thought you DIED 537940 years ago! How have you been, man?! Have you finally managed to achieve godhood in any dimensions yet?"

Iscream: "... Huh. I heard you were very famous in the occult community before you vanished. Never met you before... Uh.... Hi?"

Hawt Saus: "Who is this dumpster fire?"

Iscream and Bludoreng: "HAWT SAUS!"

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-- “Hey hey hey, it’s DJ O.K. sending in a letter for the Chikn Crew! (You mind if I call you that? Lemme know if you want to be called something else.)

Anyways, I just wanted to know your favorite types of music! That way I know what to play should I ever stop by!” --

Slushi: "Well, a lot of us like poppy, cheery music, but Iscream and Hawt Saus ABSOLUTELY love rock and punk music!"

Jumpcut to Bludoreng singing death metal in the shower. (Specifically, Decomposition of the Human Race by Six Feet Under)

Bludoreng: "THE SOULLESS, THE UNWORTHY, THE UNDEAD, NOW WALK THE EARTH IN PAIN!"

-- “Dear friends,

I am so glad you received this message! I have nXt become GOD yet XXXXXXXXXXX but I am glad to see you!

The others wouldn’t let me in their ask box fic but I am able to contact you here! Is this not fun?

Now for the matter of business is there anything you want to know from me? And is there anything I can know from you?

And as for my death it happened but it was only for a little bit!

-The Normal Guy” --

Bludoreng: "I'm more concerned about how much you seem to abuse your own body just for me whenever you were with me. I appreciate the gesture, but... you feeling alright, man? You know, I'll gladly let you hang out with me in the great halls if you feel lonely!"

Iscream: "How did you do it?! How did you come back without seeing any of us? Usually you have to even meet death herself, but I don't think she ever met you!"

--“Azuri here! Nice to meet you all, weird that not a single one of you is a bird though. Where’s my avian representation at?"--

Chikn: "Of course we have birds! Geese..."

*He held up a dapper Goose with a bowtie and a top hat. He was just squeeing at it while he held it. Rightfully so!*

--"Jokes aside. Gonna be real, getting some weird vibes from that dog. Call it my magical mystical intuition, but… is someone keeping an eye on him?”--

Fwench Fwy: "Don't worry, I'm on it! I haven't gotten distracted at all! ...Right?"

Fwy stopped in horror as their eyes went wide for a moment, only for Iscream to come back with that same goose in their paws.

Iscream: "Fwench Fwy, you HAVE to see what Chikn gave me!"

Fwench Fwy: "ᴼʰ ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ᵍᵒᵈ..."

--“”

(Voided Creature seems to be asking something to Onyon.)--

Onyon: "Oh, sp3aking in bitcru5h too? D-Don'7 worry... I he@r you, lou%@$%#^*%&$^#lear!"

Onyon answered Voided Creature's question. Unfortunately, I cannot type the exact sounds he made, as they really hurt my ears, but I DID get the translation!

Onyon: [YEAH MAKING FRIENDS IS HARD BUT YOU HAVE TO TRY. TRY PRACTICING BY LEADING SOMEBODY TO YOUR HOBBIES AND SEEING HOW THEY REACT. ITS BETTER THAN NOT BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEM AT ALL.]

--“If any of you need self defense lessons my number is 555-555–5555

-Raddy”--

Hawt Saus: "No thanks, but I appreciate the offer. I feel safe anyways....:"

Sody Pop: "OH COME ON!"

Hawt Saus: "What? What's wrong?"

Sody Pop: "IT'S ANOTHER RICKROLL!"

Hawt Saus had an "oh shit" expression, before running behind his couch as Sody Pop exploded. He then peeked out, giving the reader, and by extension Raddy, one hell of a death glare.

--“Can anyone else see the ghost, or is it just me?

-Jevin”--

Hawt Saus: "There's a ghost?"

Pisa Saus: "... somebody... can see me...?"

Hawt Saus: "You know, I DID have a gut feeling somebody was watching over me whenever things got tough. But I don't see any ghosts.... I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, or what?"

Pisa Saus looked down sadly, knowing Hawt Saus wasn't going to see her anytime soon.

Hawt Saus: "If it IS my mom, it's definitely doing a better job of looking over me than that weird impersonator of my mom was."

Hawt opened the curtains for a moment, revealing... a weird MSPaint version of Pisa Saus trying to sing. And failing. Miserably.

--"So, is the squirrel a demon or just a devoted follower?

-Also Jevin"--

Hawt Saus just froze up in horror.

Hawt Saus: "Wh-well-I-H-How did yo- Uhh- NOPE! NOPE! NOPE NOPE NOPETY NOPE! I HAVE NO BUSINESS RELATING TO DEMONS!"

As Hawt Saus said that, some horns briefly peeked out of his fur, before he instantly recovered them as they shrunk into nothingness. Hitting the hammer on the head, huh?

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-- “This entire group looks extremely dysfunctional.

Have any one of you considered therapy?

-Black” --

Hawt Saus: "I... don't think therapy really exists here. And I don't trust them considering what they're capable of sometimes."

The squirrel would sit down and sigh sadly.

--“I DO NOT FEAR DEATH

It only took me XX years to find a new hoSX body and mold it!

You are a wonderful pair of friends! Have you ever thought about MXRDXR and the EXTXXNTIXN OX XHE UNWXXTHY

-The Normal Guy” --

Overlord Bludoreng: "If unworthy means 'People who are beyond redemption,' then yes! I will do ANYTHING to make the world a better place. Only difference from the others who say that is I will actually ACT on it."

Iscream: "I mean... if they go extinct, where would I get blood for the blood rituals?"

-- "It seems you've been approached by the mimic from my research, demon squirrel. It shouldn't attack you as long as you're stronger than it.

-Jevin" --

Hawt Saus: "STOP. CALLING ME. A DEMON!"

As he said that, his already-white pupils glowed for a moment, making it clear he didn't like being called one.

Hawt Saus: "... At least you're giving me advice, so thanks, I guess. Hey, is there a way to make it shut up and stop making a mockery of my dead mother? Like, come on, at least cut the crusts off the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! Good GOD!"

Just as he said that, Temu Pisa gave the squirrel a sandwich that is exactly like that. Hawt hesitantly took the sandwich.

Hawt Saus: "... Uh.... thanks."

Temu Pisa: "no problem my son i love so much"

The mimic left shortly afterwards.

Hawt Saus: "... Uh, maybe I could... get adjusted to thi- nope, nope, no way, I don't want to start pretending my mom isn't dead. I'm past denial!"

Oblivious to him, Pisa Saus looked relieved by this.

"Sorry if it sounds rude, but how'd you get those names?

Durple here, btw."

Chikn: "I could ask YEW the same thing. What kind of food is a Durple? That's not a snack!"

-- (A letter with a CD containing several pop songs is sent in. The final three songs are all Slipknot.) --

Overlord Bludoreng: "YESSSSSSSS! FINALLY!"

Overlord Staarfroot: "... huh. Interesting choice of mortal music. I''m more of a jazz perso-"

Overlord Bludoreng: "Why don't we go to the 6 Feet Under Karaoke Bar? I bet you're a great singer!"

Overlord Staarfroot: ".... I... don't sing."

Overlord Bludoreng: "C'mon, Staary! You can at least try!"

Overlord Staarfroot takes a moment of hesitation. Before eventually....

Overlord Staarfroot: ".... fine."

Hammborger: "... So that's why I've been hearing an Ethereal voice singing a death metal song. Huh."

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—"Kinda getting bad vibes from that 'Normal' 'Guy' that keeps showing up. What do you know about him?

-Azuri"—

Overlord Bludoreng: “You must be talking about me. Well, he was actually one of my childhood friends! Thjarjurus was genuinely good at knowing what I needed or wanted. If I wanted it done, 70% of the time, he’d GET it done. I was genuinely thinking he was part of the council, but then he vanished for….”

They made fleshy tendrils appear and counted the wiggling masses on them, likely malformed fingers.

Overlord Bludoreng: “537940 years. Everyone thought he died, but, well, I guess he’s as strong as he looks!”

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-- i hope chee and hamm becomes besties like twinsies yk --

Chee: "... Who's 'Hamm?' Did I have another cousin nobody told me about?"

Hammborger: "Shhhh, not yet! I don't want her to know about my existence! I don't want to... make it harder for her......" 

-- and alsoo will pisa saus be contactable by others at some point? because chikn can access the astral plane --

Pisa Saus: "Contactable? That'd be.... nice... But what's this about Chikn seeing the Astral Plane? In fact, I barely even know who Chikn is... I just hope he stops treating my son poorly..."

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--Chikn, have you ever known of a dog by the name of Ruff Ruffman? While not a demigod of chaos, he sure is good at causing it. --

Chikn: "Ruff? Ruff Ruffman...?"

The dog eventually gasped in joy.

Chikn: "Oh! FETCH! That show was my CHILDHOOD! I always loved seeing where he'd take his contestants! Thanks for the blast to the past! ... Although, come to think of it, I wonder what happened to him?

--Slushi, I think you are very cute! do you have any romantic interests as of now? ...not to say anything, I'm not asking to go out with you.--

Slushi: "Ohhh, uh..... Well, there's this handsome man I really like, and there's Souleater from Emperor of Stolen Hearts, and then there's.... H....."

She seemed to think about what she was gonna say for a moment.

Slushi: "A-Actually, it's not time yet, I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment!"

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— Question for Onyn Ring:

Is it true you have a Romantic Crush on Sarsaparilla? If so, How were you able to get Sody Pop's Blessing?—

Sassparilla: “…. who’s Sarsaparilla, and who’s Onyn Ring?”