Chapter Text
Ricky was the one who had first planted the thought in JJ’s head. JJ had gone to his cousin’s to help him pick up a barbecue Ricky had bought off Facebook.
“Heard you knocked up a Kook,” Ricky said after they had loaded the barbecue into the back of the truck.
“She’s not a Kook,” JJ said, shoving the keys into the ignition. Kie didn’t appreciate being associated with that side of the island.
“But she is knocked up,” Ricky stated more than asked.
“Yea,” JJ confirmed. He started driving back towards Ricky’s house.
“Shit,” Ricky said, “when’s the wedding?”
“What?” JJ furrowed his eyebrows and pulled his eyes off the road long enough to glance at Ricky.
“I pinned you as better than that,” Ricky said after a moment. JJ could feel Ricky’s eyes on him.
“The fuck are you talking about?” JJ asked.
“You get a girl pregnant, you gotta man up and give her a ring,” Ricky said.
“She doesn’t like me like that,” JJ said.
“She liked you enough to let you get her pregnant,” Ricky pointed out, “and it doesn’t matter if she likes you. I know plenty of people who got married ‘cause of a kid. It ain’t about love or some sappy shit once kids get involved.”
The conversation moved on, and JJ brushed off what Ricky had said.
JJ didn’t care that Kie thought it was stupid that he got into a fight with Topper. He’d do it again in a heartbeat. He might do it again the next time he saw that piece of shit Kook. After what he’d said about Kie, Topper deserved it.
What he’d said was bothering JJ. Not that Kie was a whore. She wasn’t, and JJ wouldn’t have given two shits if she was. He was bothered by what Topper had said about marrying her.
Maybe Ricky had had a point.
JJ knew plenty of people from this side of the island whose parents weren’t married, but pretty much all of them only had one parent in the picture. His mom had died, and John B’s mom had left, but off the top of his head the only other people he could think of who had single parents had a dad who had either died, or more often split and left their mom to pick up the pieces. JJ would never do that to Kie. Even the thought disgusted him.
But was he supposed to prove he would stay by marrying her?
“Would you marry Sarah if she were pregnant?” JJ asked John B. They, along with Pope, were sitting on his boat gutting the fish they had caught that afternoon.
“I already plan on marrying her,” John B shrugged, not looking up from his fish. “I guess if she were pregnant, that would probably speed things up.”
JJ didn’t say anything as he threw a handful of guts overboard and started cutting off the fins.
“I think I’m going to ask Kie to marry me,” he said.
He and Kiara needed to get married. It was the right thing to do. JJ should have asked her the day she told him she was pregnant, but that was just another one of the many things he would have done differently if he had had the chance.
It would probably help the situation with Mike, too. Kie didn’t talk about it, but JJ knew that she was talking to her mom but her dad still hadn’t come around. Maybe this would convince Mike that JJ was going to do the right thing and be there for her.
Ricky had said that he would talk to his mom, Luke’s cousin, and see if she had any rings from their Grandma.
“I don’t plan on using them,” Ricky had said.
Later that day, JJ’s aunt had called and said that she didn’t have anything, but as far as she knew Luke hadn’t gotten rid of Larissa’s ring so JJ might be able to find it.
So JJ, with the help of John B and Pope, though neither were entirely on board with the proposal, went through the boxes of Luke’s things that JJ hadn’t been able to get rid of to try and find his mom’s ring.
Initially, John B had been completely on board, but Pope’s skepticism had made him hesitate.
When JJ had told the two of them that he was going to propose to Kiara, Pope’s eyebrows had shot up faster than JJ thought possible.
“You’re sure she wants that?” Pope had asked.
“Why wouldn’t she?” JJ had questioned.
“I thought you didn’t even think she liked you,” Pope pointed out.
“It’s not about that.”
Pope had almost dropped the fish he was holding. “Not about that? Why the hell would you propose if it’s not about liking each other?”
“It’s about, I don’t know,” JJ started, “commitment. She’ll know I’m not going to just up and leave one day.”
Pope opened and closed his mouth a few times, but nothing came out.
“I think she already knows that,” John B said, looking back and forth between the two of them.
Pope gestured at John B in agreement.
“This just confirms that then,” JJ said.
—
In the end, they both begrudgingly agreed to help him look for the ring. John B was giving him odd looks, but ultimately didn’t question JJ’s decision. Pope had voiced his concerns a few more times, but had rolled his eyes and given up when he had realized that JJ didn’t care.
Respectfully, Pope didn’t know what he was talking about. Pope wasn’t the one who was about to have a kid in a matter of months. He wasn’t the one who was going to have that responsibility for the rest of his life. He didn’t have to think about what the right thing to do was. Honestly, it was pissing JJ off, because he knew that Pope of all people would be doing the exact same thing if their positions were switched. Hell, Pope would have done what JJ should have done, and proposed as soon as he found out.
JJ was trying to be nice, though. The two of them were helping him.
JJ hadn’t told them not to tell Sarah and Cleo, but from the looks they were giving him, it was obvious that none of the girls knew.
He pushed all thoughts of Pope's hesitation and Sarah and Cleo’s silent questioning out of his head. There was no time for that. If the best time for JJ to do was propose as soon as Kie had told him she was pregnant, the second best time was as soon as possible.
It took three days to find the ring. JJ found it in a box that didn’t look like it had been opened in the last decade.
There were a couple of what must have been JJ’s baby toys along with a half-finished photo album from when he was a baby. At the bottom was a small jewelry box.
JJ quickly looked around to make sure none of the girls were here before opening the box. In it, there were a few earrings, a bracelet, and his mom’s engagement ring.
“Dude,” he whispered, hitting Pope’s shoulder to get his attention.
Pope looked over from the box he was going through, and JJ showed him the contents of the jewelry box.
“Oh shit, you found it?” Pope said.
“Yea,” JJ said, taking the ring out of the box.
“You’re sure this is your mom’s?” Pope asked.
“Whose else would it be?” JJ asked.
“I don’t know,” Pope said, throwing his hands in the air, “maybe it’s a family heirloom or something.”
Pope had a point, so JJ put the jewelry box down and grabbed the photo album. He flipped through until he found a picture of his mom holding him, where he could see her ring.
“This is definitely the same ring,” JJ said, looking between the ring he was holding and the one in the picture.
Pope leaned over to look between the ring and the picture, and hummed his agreement.
After deliberating with Pope and John B, though mostly John B, JJ decided that Sunday was going to be the day.
“Make sure you don’t have plans Sunday evening,” JJ told Kiara later that day, “you and I are going to go do something.” He was trying not to show how nervous he was. She was sitting on a stool behind the counter at the store, thankfully alone. He didn’t think he’d be able to do this if Sarah or Cleo were here.
Kiara furrowed her brows. “Why?”
“Can’t a guy make plans with the mother of his child just because?” JJ asked, deflecting.
“No,” Kiara said, “what are we doing?”
“Can’t tell you,” JJ said.
Kiara raised her eyebrows. “Who’s gonna be there?” she asked.
“Just you and I,” JJ said.
“Just us?” Kiara asked, “JB and Pope aren’t also telling Sarah and Cleo weird cryptic shit about Sunday right now?”
“Nope,” JJ said, popping his p in a failed attempt to sound nonchalant, “just me.”
“Alright,” Kiara said suspiciously.
“Great,” JJ said, slapping his hands against the counter, “I’ll see you then.”
He turned and walked back to the house.
As skeptical as Pope was about this being a good idea, he was vital to JJ’s ability to get everything ready without the girls accidentally interfering, mostly because he was the one who usually stuck around the store while JJ and John B took the charters out
He gave everyone the excuse of going to the bank, which, now that JJ thought about it, may not have actually been an excuse, to take the ring to a jewelry store to be cleaned and get it a ring box. He was also the one who made the replacement sandwiches after JJ put butter instead of mayonnaise on the ones he made on Saturday night, which apparently was what Kiara had switched to sometime in the past week.
—
JJ was pretty sure he’d never been so nervous about a date in his life.
“It will be fine,” John B said, sitting at the end of JJ’s bed, watching him try to fix his hair in the mirror.
“I know, I just-” JJ struggled to find the words, “I know this isn’t the way she imagined it, but I still want to, y’know, make it a good story. Even if she doesn’t get to, like, fall in love and live happily ever after, or whatever shit girls dream about, I still want to make it special.”
JJ wasn’t sure if it was a testament to how nervous JJ was, or how mature John B had apparently become that JB didn’t immediately make fun of him.
“We have this planned out perfectly,” John B said. “It’s intimate, just the two of you; it’s at the beach, which Sarah says is very romantic; and you have your mom’s ring, which I know Kie will find meaningful.”
John B stood up and JJ turned to him. John B put his hands on JJ’s shoulders.
“Your hair looks fine, Kiara’s going to like the thoughtfulness, and you just have to think that everything is going to go well,” John B said.
“Okay,” JJ said, taking a deep breath.
“I’ll see you after,” John B said.
JJ nodded, and they headed out of his room.
JJ was so nervous that most of the date was a blur. He started rambling on about kooks and boats when they got to the beach, and after that he was able to relax a bit into the normal rhythm he and Kiara got into; but the whole time the thought of the ring in his pocket was on the back of his mind.
After they had finished up the ice cream cups JJ had brought for dessert, Kiara intertwined her fingers with his and squeezed, and JJ squeezed back and knew that this was the time.
She smiled at him, and JJ smiled back before looking out at the water. He wasn’t sure he could do this with the intensity of maintaining eye contact.
“I, uh, actually did all this for a reason,” JJ said, trying and failing to keep the nerves from leaking into his voice. “I know I fucked up, and I was supposed to do this when you told me you were pregnant,” he continued, “but I meant what I said when I told you I’d be here. I know this isn’t how you wanted this,” he looked down at his lap, “but, well, none of this is how we wanted it to happen.”
He pulled his hand away from hers to reach into his pocket and push himself up onto one knee. Kiara’s brows knit together in confusion as she watched him pull the ring out of his pocket.
He took a breath. “Kiara, will you marry me?”
There was a moment where they just stared at each other before Kiara started shaking her head.
“No,” she said, and JJ felt like he'd been stabbed in the gut.
She stood up and wrapped her arms around herself, turning away. “I want to go home,” she said, avoiding his gaze.
---
JJ felt numb driving home. When they pulled up, Kiara silently slipped out of the car and walked into the house. JJ stared out the windshield, unable to watch her go.
JJ saw their friends sitting on the dock, questioning looks on their faces. JJ couldn’t stand the thought of facing them, so he cut the truck’s engine and headed in the opposite direction from the house, slamming the truck’s door behind him.
He stomped down the shoreline. When he was far enough away from the other pogues, JJ let the dam that was keeping all his emotions at bay, keeping him numb, break.
JJ was so angry.
He reached down to grab a rock and threw it as hard as he could at the water. It felt good, so JJ grabbed another and flung it into the water.
He was angry at Kiara for saying no.
He threw another rock at the water.
He tries to be good, do the right thing, and she doesn't even want it.
Another rock, flung into the water.
And why did Pope and John B go along with it? Why had they been telling him that Kiara liked him when she obviously didn't?
Another rock.
And why had he thought this was a good idea in the first place?
More rocks thrown at the water.
Kiara had obvious never liked him, obviously would never want to be with him.
He threw a rock as hard as he could.
This was never going to end well.
JJ threw rock after rock until his arm hurt from throwing, and his anger was dissipating until it finally broke and JJ squeezed his eyes shut as he felt tears start rolling down his face.
JJ stumbled back from the shore and sat on the ground. He cursed and buried his head in his hands as more tears ran down his cheeks.
Fuck. If he admitted it to himself, JJ had always known that Pope had a point that proposing might not be the right idea, but for Kiara to react so… horrified. JJ had really thought there was something there. Something had happened the night Kiara had told her parents, even if they hadn’t actually kissed; and they were sharing a room now, which JJ had really thought meant something more than needed space for a baby that wouldn’t need their own room for, like, a year. Had he really been so wrong to think there was something between them?
There were footsteps coming from the direction of the house, and JJ saw John B walking towards him.
JJ wiped his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he sniffed, purposely looking out at the water and not at John B.
John B sat down next to him. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s fine,” JJ said.
“Really?” John B asked.
JJ didn’t respond, just peeled his eyes away from the water to look at John B. JJ couldn’t see what he looked like, but it didn’t feel good.
John B seemed to get the message.
They sat in silence for a while, staring out at the water until it started raining and they walked back to the house.
When JJ went to his and Kiara's bedroom, it was empty.
