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There is a wind chime on the windowsill of Aki’s apartment, on the fire escape where he goes out be alone.
When it is just Aki, it’s barely looked at. It makes its soft noises and becomes a backing track to Aki’s mind as he smokes. Aki pays no attention to it, apart from one day when he vaguely noticed it was starting to weather. Aki decided against replacing it. He was probably the only one who was ever going to actually see it - when Himeno came over and smoked, she was much too drunk to notice a wind chime of all things. And even when she wasn’t drunk, Aki got the feeling that Himeno didn’t care much for interior decorating. So Aki kept the wind chime as it was. Background music.
And then Denji moved in. And Denji is all impatient and excitable and eager, and Aki is not at all suited for it. When it was just Aki, it was silent, save for the wind chime. That was how Aki liked things. But Denji ruined that. He sung in the bath, he never seemed to stop talking and he was very loud at both. He was irritating and insufferable and Aki didn’t feel bad at all for trying to beat him up that first day. Aki did not care about Denji at all.
Even with Denji disrupting his previous routine, Aki found it somewhat easy to slide into a new one. His days were no longer shrouded in solitude - he now had an overexcited Denji at his feet, somewhat like a dog. Denji is odd, and while Aki knew that from first glance, he suspected something deeper was running through. He knew nothing about Denji’s life before he became a devil hunter, but Aki assumed that he was just a kid seeking out adventure. And Makima, his brain would supply, which would make him think of the kids motivations, and he’d scowl. Denji had no social skills, he spoke with his mouth full, and he couldn’t read. Aki was almost worried, and then he remembered he didn’t even like Denji. It didn’t stop him from theorising about Denji’s past when Denji had finally gotten to sleep (because, seriously, the kid was like one of those small, yappy dogs). Aki didn’t think it too hard. He assumed that Denji was just like that. That all his oddities were just Denji-isms. That he just didn’t pay attention in school.
And then Denji revealed he never went to school. Aki had blinked, and asked him to repeat. And then, he’d just said “Oh. That makes sense,” and Denji had already started talking about something else. But how was Aki supposed to move past that? The kid (and Aki realised, with horror, that he had no clue how old Denji was) had just revealed he hadn’t gone to school. And education was a human right, and Denji hadn’t always been the weird devil hybrid he was now. He had been human, once. And Denji wasn’t all devil, even now. He still did unmistakably human things, and Aki assumed he still felt emotions. So how had he never gone to school? And why did he seem so calm about it?
Aki had asked him, his tone striving for placid but ending up at stressed. And Denji had shrugged, and told him it wasn’t a big deal. Aki had to stop himself from shouting. He took a breath. He tried to explain, but Denji had a penchant for not listening to people. So Aki was left effectively talking to himself, as Denji had already started talking about something new. But things started to click in Aki’s mind. Denji acted like he had never seen half the things in Aki’s house before, and Aki had thought he was just making fun of him before. But looking back, Denji’s awe at something like a toaster or jam or a microwave or a bed seemed totally real. If Aki had to guess, he’d say Denji had actually never seen any of those things before. He knew Denji talked to himself at night. The first night, Aki found it weird. He’d told him to stop, and Denji just hadn’t listened. But when Aki listened in, he’d heard the hybrid talking about how great it was he had a proper bed and could eat jam on his bread and he didn’t have to worry about paying debts, Aki found himself with a lot more to handle then he had originally anticipated, and he had anticipated a lot. He needed to smoke.
Denji revealed a lot, hidden between rants about other things in which he’d gone off topic on. Aki had just never really paid attention, tuning him out whenever he started ranting. It was how he’d accidentally revealed he used to be in major debt to the yakuza, and it was how Aki realised Denji wouldn’t speak about everything. Aki has asked him how he even managed to get in debt to the yakuza, as he was young - albeit stupid - and he had no ways of even getting into contact with them. Denji had said something cryptic about how it wasn’t even his debt, and when Aki had asked whose it was, Denji had shot him a look and not said anything. That was how Aki knew the subject was serious. He tried for the placating tone again, and even though he got what he aimed for all it did was piss Denji off even more. He had mumbled something about how it was patronising, and how he wasn’t a kid, and Aki had to stop himself from saying yes, you are. Despite all that, Aki found himself reluctantly enjoying his time with Denji. And then Makima had seated Power with him too, and his routine had been ripped from under him again.
Power was brash. She was all ego and self dominance and bold colours. She was loud, she didn’t flush the toilet and they had to fight her to get her to wash. She was messy and louder than Denji, and the two were always fighting about something or other. She threw her food, she was argumentative, and Aki found himself with not a lick of silence in his apartment since she’d arrived. The wind chime was drowned out by her and Denji squabbling about something small, and Aki would find himself smoking less and less, due to him always being needed somewhere around the house. He found himself with a newfound respect for mothers. He was never without a headache, nowadays. He was also never without Denji and Power, who despite arguing with him and screaming about anything they could find, seemed to stick to his side like glue. He couldn’t find it within himself to hate it.
Denji had pointed out the wind chime once, when he followed Aki onto the fire escape. Power had subsequently trailed after him, and she and Denji both found the device fascinating. Power was like a cat, pawing at it like it’d hurt her, before she decided she rather loved the wind chime, and rattling it to hear its sounds. Denji just watched her. And Aki finds himself not actually mad at either of them. Something burns in him whenever he sees the two, some kind of familial instinct. His family died years ago, but Aki can see himself finding a new one, in the little apartment he owns.
——————-
Power goes to Hell. She is fine afterwards. Power does not get nightmares or night terrors (because Topknot says there’s a difference, and Power found that wildly superfluous and extremely trivial), Power is not scared of the dark. She does not require Denji’s protection, nor does she need him sticking by her side like glue. Power is fine.
Topknot and Denji still yell at her to wash or to flush the toilet or to stop flinging her food everywhere, but she’s noticed it’s much more subdued than usual. It might have something to do with Topknot’s missing arm, she ponders. Denji is more or less the same as ever - an idiot. She doesn’t think more on that subject than that, because Power does not care about Aki or Denji. Power only vaguely cares about Meowy, and even then, it is vague. Power does not worry about any of them. Power does not get night terrors, nor does she get nightmares. Power is not scared of the dark. Power is fine.
Power plays with Meowy. Meowy is good company, becuase Meowy does not yell at her and order her to partake in human ordeals. Flushing the toilet is below her, Power decides. And so is washing. Power is natural. She’s the blood fiend, once the blood devil. She is not limited to her human body. She does not take care of it, because it is not her. She is so much more. Power does not pick up after herself. She is messy, and the others will deal with it anyways. Denji sticks by her side, Aki cleans up her food, Meowy is a grounding weight on her chest whenever she wakes up disoriented - because Power does not get nightmares.
Power does not think her relationship with Denji can be defined by a single human word - which is horrendously stupid, as humans seem to have a word for everything unnecessary, but nothing needed. There is no romance between them, Power is one hundred percent sure. They’ve done slightly romantic things, but Power wound up disappointed at the end of all of them. If this is all romance is, Power thinks, she is bored of it. She is content with Meowy. Her and Denji are more than friends, though. Power does not consider Denji a friend anywhere but her subconscious. Power does not say out loud that her and Denji are close. Power knows what her and Denji are. Power knows what her and Aki are. The word is alien to her, and whenever she comes close to whispering it to Meowy, just to hear what it sounds like, it lies heavy on the tip of her tongue. Family, she thinks. She has never had one. She doesn’t recall a time she had ever longed for one, either. She is the blood fiend. She finds herself in a family. They care about her, Power can tell, even if it is mixed up within rudeness and cold words. Power prefers it this way. Power thinks she will never call them family as long as she lives. She knows it, in her head. She knows that the other two have recognised by now that they are family aswell. Maybe not Denji, she thinks. He is much too slow. Denji stays by her side. Aki cleans up her messes. Meowy is comforting. She finds herself enjoying the family they have.
And then Makima calls (Power has never liked Makima) and Denji sends her out of the apartment, Meowy in her hands. In her peripheral, as she walks down the road, she sees the apartment blow up. She stops in her tracks. The gun fiend, she recalls Denji saying was outside. But that was Aki’s scent, and Aki wasn’t home yet, and Power wasn’t stupid. She comes to the realisation, and Meowy becomes a lot heavier in her arms than before. She stands to the sidelines of that battle. She can hear Denji calling out for Aki. She wants to yell back, call Denji stupid. Aki is gone. Power is fine with that.
Power does not miss him, because Devils cannot miss. Whatever Denji has going on with him is surely due to the Human still left in him, and Power is distinctly not human. She finds that her heart tinges with some unidentified feeling whenever she thinks about him, and chalks that up to the human body she inhabits. Stupid human, she thinks, Stop making me feel your pain. The human is dead. Aki is dead, too. Power wonders if Denji wishes he had joined them. She pushes that thought aside. Denji brings the wind chime with them, to the new apartment. It turns out Aki was not poor, just stingy. He had savings, though Power did not know what they were for. They are given to Power and Denji after his death. Power wonders, briefly, if they were meant for her and Denji. She pushes the thought aside. Denji buys a new apartment, because their old one was uninhabitable. They manage to round up some of Aki’s things. Denji takes a while to decide what to do with them, which Power thinks is utterly stupid. It’s only logical to throw them out, she thinks. She goes to tell Denji this, then stops. She is overcome by the same choice Denji is facing now, too. It’s not right to throw them out, she thinks. It’d be like throwing Topknot out, and this is all that’s left. She notices a picture of the three of them. The fire damaged Aki’s face heavily, and it’s like he had been erased from the photo entirely. Power’s heart aches even more, and she does not know why. Her face is covered in soot.
Makima calls her over. She says Denji was struggling, and since it was his birthday tomorrow, they should celebrate. She tells Power to bring a cake. Power purchases one at the store, after making sure it was a suitable flavour. It is the same shade of pink as her hair, and Power thinks that must make it the best cake ever. She brings it to Makima. The cake is not eaten.
————
Denji will continue to struggle. He will continue to think ’This is not real. There’s no way this can be real’ and he will continue to be upset when he finds out that it is. He will be broken down. Makima will shoot Power, Makima will tell him what he did to his father, Makima will break him down. Makima will tell him she built him up, that all the happiness he’s experienced is because of her. Denji will be so distraught he won’t be able to recognise is. Denji will not have felt feelings this powerful in years. Denji will struggle with them. Denji will be vulnerable, and Makima will know this. Makima will take advantage of this. Makima will degrade him, and Denji will find it didn’t feel good, like he’d hope it would. Denji will find his dreams are rubble and he is kneeling in them. Denji will give up, and then he will not. Denji will lose, and then he will win, and then he will continue to struggle. Makima will be there, and then she will be gone. Denji will eat her. Denji will be numb.
Denji will go to school. He’ll meet people that he’s never met before. Chainsaw Man will become a hero. Everyone will want Chainsaw Man. Nobody will want Denji.
Denji will miss Aki, and Denji will miss Power. He will have Nayuta, and he will have seven dogs, but he will feel empty. There will be a scraped out space in his heart where Power and Aki once stood. He will struggle. He will suffer. And he will know this.
He will know nothing can replace Power and Aki. He will have Nayuta, then he will lose her. He will be distraught. It will be another family member gone. He will cast his mind back to Makima. He will struggle. He will have Asa, and then he’ll be confused if he ever had her, and if he would like to still have her. He will be confused, and then Yoru will clarify, and he will still be confused. He will be conflicted. He will want to be his own person. He will still depend on other people. He will listen to Yoru call him a dog, and he will do nothing except cast his mind back to Makima again. He will struggle. He will miss Power and Aki and Nayuta. He will even miss Makima. He will feeling nothing, and he will feel everything. He will feel stupid and he will feel smart. He’ll be his own person and he wont. He will be conflicting. He will sit on the fire escape of his house whilst Nayuta is out. He will stare at the wind chime, just as he did when he first saw it. His eyes will fill with tears, and for a second he will hear Power cackling and smell cigarette smoke from Aki, and then he will look up and be met with silence, apart from the wind chime. He will be on his own. He will cry.
There will be a wind chime on the windowsill of Denji’s apartment, on the fire escape where he goes out to be alone.