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Chapter Text

The sun was setting over Cang Qiong Mountain, casting a warm golden glow over the gathering in Yue Qingyuan’s office after a Peak Lord meeting, due to their Zhangmen-shixiong’s insistence of making the meeting take place in his office. 

The Peak Lords had assembled for what was supposed to be a formal meeting-some were not in attendance due to some things that needed to be handled, and only Qiong Ding, Qing Jing, Qian Cao, An Ding, Bai Zhan, Wan Jian, and Xian Shu were in said attendance- but things had taken an unexpected turn thanks to Shang Qinghua.  

"Ugh, it's too big to fit in," Shang Qinghua grumbled, struggling to adjust a large, gaudy ornament that Yue Qingyuan had received as a gift from a visiting sect. He did succeed in bringing it in, but barely. 

There was a moment of silence before Mu Qingfang, without thinking, huffed and muttered under his breath, "That's what she said."  

Unfortunately, in a room full of cultivators with enhanced hearing, there was no such thing as a private remark.  

Liu Qingge spat out his tea. Qi Qingqi choked on hers. Yue Qingyuan blinked in wide-eyed confusion. Shang Qinghua's eyes widened like saucers as he accidentally broke his brush-he was about to write something on his clipboard. Shen Qingqiu, who had been sipping tea elegantly, suddenly coughed violently, nearly dropping his cup. Wei Qingwei had been politely listening in silence, but now his shoulders shook as he suppressed laughter.  

A single second stretched into eternity as everyone processed what had just happened.  

Then, as if on cue, the entire room dissolved into laughter.

Shen Qingqiu smacked a hand on the table, half-horrified, half-amused, sort of demanding an answer. "Mu-shidi! Where in the world did you hear that?"

Mu Qingfang, face flushing red, opened his mouth but was drowned out by the sheer volume of Wei Qingwei wheezing with laughter. Even Qi Qingqi, who prided herself on maintaining dignity, had covered her face with a sleeve to stifle her giggles.  

Shang Qinghua, however, was still hunched over the massive decoration, looking far too stressed for someone who had just accidentally set off a chaotic chain reaction as he looked mournfully at his favourite, now broken brush. "Oh, for fuck's sake," he groaned. "What’s next, someone’s gonna start making ‘deez nuts’ jokes?"  

Silence.  

It was at that precise moment that everyone froze. 

Shen Qingqiu, eyes widening, turned his head slowly to look at Shang Qinghua.  

Shang Qinghua, realizing what he had just said, clamped a hand over his mouth in horror.  

Mu Qingfang's flushed expression went pale in shock.

Yue Qingyuan, still caught mid-laugh, suddenly went stiff.  

Qi Qingqi had been in the process of setting her cup down and almost dropped it.  

Wei Qingwei was the first to break the silence. "Wait." His voice was far too calm for what was happening. "Did you just say—" 

Shen Qingqiu shot to his feet, accusations on the tip of his tongue as he began demanding answers. "Shang Qinghua, you—!" 

Shang Qinghua, still covering his mouth, shook his head violently as if he could undo what had already been said. "Nope! No, I did NOT say anything! That was—uh—divine inspiration! A heavenly whisper! Forget it! You all heard NOTHING!"

“Shidi….we're not deaf. We perfectly heard what you just said.” Yue Qingyuan slowly points out.

Liu Qingge, who had been recovering from choking, suddenly narrowed his eyes. "Bullshit. Why do you know that phrase?"  

Qi Qingqi’s eyes darted to everyone in the room. "Wait–huh? HUH?! WAIT. Are you all—?" 

A dreadful realization eventually settled over the entire group as they looked at each other. 

Every single Peak Lord attending… had read “Proud Immortal Demon Way”.  

And now, every single one of them had transmigrated into the world of “Proud Immortal Demon Way” (and if they were right, they were the only transmigrators–the other Peak Lords were likely normal people, or at least, that’s what Shang Qinghua thinks- he really hopes so!)

They transmigrated into the Cang Qiong Sect.  

As Peak Lords. 

And the worst part?  

They all knew exactly how much this sect was about to get absolutely fucked over.  

“We all died reading a shitty novel!” Wei Qingwei laughed hysterically, setting off the rest of his fellow transmigrators.

“I can't believe you all read the entire papapa novel!” Exclaimed an embarrassed Shen Qingqiu.

“Says the bro who also read it!” Qi Qingqi snorted.

Liu Qingge huffed, despite blushing. “Just call it a porn novel!”

“Tsk, tsk, so maiden hearted…” Yue Qingyuan chuckled.

Shang Qinghua, curious as to what the identities of the others, dared to ask, "So, uh… what were your Zhongdian IDs?" 

“Junshang’s Left Balls.”

“Junshang’s Right Balls.” 

Yue Qingyuan said at the same time as Wei Qingwei, who both exchanged a delighted look of surprise at having found their ‘twin’.

“Junshang’s Heavenly Pillar.” Qi Qingqi replied, and she grinned at both Yue Qingyuan and Wei Qingwei, as they excitedly looked at each other, surprised and delighted at the fact that their ‘trio’ never separated even through transmigration.

“I don't really have any. I was a Guest.” Liu Qingge shrugged.

“Flying Duck.” Mu Qingfang replied in a bemused tone. “Don’t ask why–I couldn’t think of any other name.”

Shen Qingqiu, proudly sniffed, huffing as he snapped his fan open. "Peerless Cucumber."

Everyone gasped; they knew who the said Zhongdian user was! They actually heard from someone that he passed away…to see him here was nothing short of a miracle. Everyone knew the infamous Peerless Cucumber releasing paragraph and paragraph of angered comments in the reviews of each chapter of PIDW.

“Ah, the anti-fan who keeps denying that they're crushing on the protagonist!” Qi Qingqi teased with a giggle, making the other flush as he denied the accusation.

“Bro's totally gay as fuck.” Shang Qinghua accused with too much glee.

“I am NOT gay!”

“Yeah, sure, bro. Keep telling yourself that!” Liu Qingge muffled a laugh.

“Denial is a river in Egypt.” Yue Qingyuan carefully points out, as if talking to an easily infuriated child.

Everyone cackled or delighted in teasing the man, before they all turned to Shang Qinghua for his turn, waiting patiently once everything had calmed down.

Shang Qinghua, wheezing, barely managed to get out, "A-Ahahaha… Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky." 

The rest of the Peak Lords looked at each other, some in disbelief, some with dawning horror, and some—like Mu Qingfang—laughing in utter despair.  

“You-!” An enraged ‘Peerless Cucumber’ roared, and an exasperated Yue Qingyuan had to grab him and stop him from committing violent assault.

The others just shook their heads in amusement, laughing all the while.

Qi Qingqi buried her face in her hands. "How. How did every single one of us end up here?"  

Wei Qingwei, trying to be the logical one, pinched the bridge of his nose. "There is no explanation that will make this make sense." 

“The System, obviously. How did you all even die? Do you all remember?” Mu Qingfang groaned, massaging his temples.

“No.” Liu Qingge shook his head, the others following his example.

A sudden announcement came from the System-

[Important Mission:Accept Luo Binghe into the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.]

“Ah, there's the asshole System that I know! I thought it was being suspiciously silent!” Shang Qinghua spat, looking downright hateful as he glared up at the glowing blue screen above them.

Yue Qingyuan, who had been silent for a long time, finally exhaled and said, "So… we are all doomed, aren’t we?"  

Liu Qingge, grim, nodded. "Cang Qiong Sect is going to get destroyed in a few years."  

Shen Qingqiu groaned and let his head hit the table. "By a protagonist who cultivates with papapa. Amazing ."

Another heavy silence.  

Then, Mu Qingfang, face blank, muttered, "We are so screwed." 

That was the final straw.  

The entire room once again erupted into laughter—except this time, it was the exhausted, terrified, hysterical laughter of people who had truly realized how utterly fucked they were.

Cang Qiong Sect’s Emergency Transmigrator Meeting: What to Do About Luo Binghe.  

After the initial hysteria of discovering that every single one of them had been transmigrated into Proud Immortal Demon Way, the Peak Lords of Cang Qiong Mountain sat down—some reluctantly, some still quietly wheezing—to discuss what came next.  

The main problem? Luo Binghe.  

Or, more specifically: Who the hell was going to take in the future Demon Emperor as a disciple? 

Because according to the System, it was fine if Qing Jing didn't accept him, as long as the Sect did–so now, here they were, arguing and passing Luo Binghe like a hot potato, even if he wasn't here yet.

Hence the "Not It!" – Peak Lord Debate.

"Not me," Shen Qingqiu said immediately, arms crossed. "Absolutely not. I refuse."  

"Oh, come on, Shixiong," Shang Qinghua groaned. "You were the one who took him in originally—" 

"Are you that stupid that you cannot differentiate between reality and fiction–”

“That's rich coming from you, gaylord, someone who drowned themselves in reading fiction!”

Shen Qingqiu gave him a murderous glare at that, but held himself back.

“It's Shen Qingqiu , the scum villain, who took him in! Not me! Which is exactly why I won’t do it, and will completely avoid him!" Shen Qingqiu interrupted. "Why would I willingly place myself in a situation where I raise the very person who’s going to tear this sect apart and throw me into a pickle pot? No, thank you." 

“And I do?!” Liu Qingge demanded, before slamming a hand on Yue Qingyuan’s desk table as he finally interjected. "No. I agree with Airplane-bro. Shen Qingqiu should take him."  

Shen Qingqiu demanded as he slammed a hand on the table as well. "Excuse me?!" 

Yue Qingyuan frowned as he warily eyed them both, worried about his table–the poor table. What did it ever do to them to receive such abuse?

Meanwhile, Mu Qingfang gave his Zhangmen-shixiong and fellow transmigrator an incredulous and judgemental look, as if he knew what the other was thinking (he did): just where are his fellow tranmigrator’s priorities? He should be calming everyone down and stopping them from arguing!

"You were the one who's supposed to train him originally, so do it." Liu Qingge set his cup down. "Besides, Luo Binghe has a spiritual cultivation foundation. That makes him more suited for Qing Jing Peak."  

"Ah, ah, ah! Incorrect!" Shen Qingqiu lifted a finger. "If you actually read PIDW closely, you’d know that Luo Binghe leans more toward physical cultivation in the later arcs. Which makes him more suited for Bai Zhan Peak." He smirked. "Which means you should take him."

Liu Qingge looked personally offended, both paling and then getting red. "What kind of backwards logic is that?!"  

"It's not backwards! In fact, according to the original story, you—Bai Zhan Peak Lord—were originally the one who wanted him! It was only because the original goods Shen Qingqiu snatched him away out of pettiness, that he even ended up in Qing Jing Peak!" Shen Qingqiu spread his hands. "So really, this is just setting things right."  

Liu Qingge pointed at himself, incredulous. "I—why—what part of me seems like someone who would take in a protagonist?! I don't even know how to teach disciples!"

Mu Qingfang tapped his fingers against the table. "Hmm. Well, Liu-shidi, you do teach the Bai Zhan disciples how to fight, don’t you? It seems effective enough from before we knew each other as transmigrators.”

"That’s different! I don’t know how to handle some half-Heavenly Demon kid who’s going to become the villain of a trashy papapa novel!" Liu Qingge snapped.  

Shang Qinghua perked up at that. "Oh, he's more of an anti-hero, actually! And about that…I actually agree and think it makes way more sense for Liu-shidi to take him in."  

Shen Qingqiu looked smug, as Liu Qingge gaped at him in disbelief.

Everyone turned to the author of the said papapa novel.

Shang Qinghua held up his hands. "Look, hear me out. Luo Binghe really is more of a physical cultivator than a spiritual one, you know? His main combat skills are his insane swordsmanship and brute strength, not fancy spells or shit. If anything, putting him on Qing Jing Peak would just be weird. In my uh, original drafts, that was where he's supposed to end up in…? Assuming that we are following the original drafts, cuz even Tianlang Jun–Luo Binghe’s father–is here. And I never even published that side story! He’s really way better suited for Bai Zhan Peak, where they can properly train his combat skills."

Shen Qingqiu’s head whipped around so quickly that Shang Qinghua nearly felt a whiplash from it alone.

“He has a father?! A full Heavenly Demon?!”

“Of course he has! What, did you think he just came out of nowhere? Of course he popped out of someone’s vagina!”

“You crass, hack author! You could have put that in your story, yet you wasted the opportunity to do so! And stop saying it like that, it’s disgusting!” Shen Qingqiu fumed, hitting him furiously and repeatedly with his fan.

“Ow, Ow! Cucumber-bro, have mercy!”

“A shitty author of a shitty novel doesn’t deserve mercy!”

There was a moment of scuffling, before Yue Qingyuan separated an enraged Shen Qingqiu from the whining Shang Qinghua, who turned to Liu Qingge as he rubbed the parts where he got hit and battered by said fan.

“A-Anyway, so in the end, well… hence the reason Luo Binghe really will end up in your Peak.”

Liu Qingge turned on him, betrayal in his eyes. "You too, Shang Qinghua?!"  

Shang Qinghua winced. "Sorry, bro. But I’m just saying, if you train him, maybe we can keep him from going full ‘villain’ mode, right? Plus, I can't really accept him into my Peak! I got the thing with Mobei Jun going on!”

Wei Qingwei nodded, humming thoughtfully. "That’s true….I forgot you're supposed to be the so-called ‘traitor’. If you took him in, it would be more trouble. Whereas if Bai Zhan Peak trains Luo Binghe to be a good disciple, and there's no discrimination or bullying…perhaps we can prevent the sect from being annihilated later. Most people in Bai Zhan Peak aren't young masters like in Qing Jing Peak, and everyone suffers the same thing, which is the Bai Zhan War God–whenever he remembers he has a peak anyway.” 

He teased at the end with a grin. Liu Qingge flushed in embarrassment, before scowling at him.

"Exactly," Shen Qingqiu said smugly. "Besides, if we want to avoid death flags, we should keep Luo Binghe far away from me. If I don’t take him in, maybe he won’t develop that terrifying attachment disorder that turns into a Yandere Male Lead Situation."  

Qi Qingqi raised an eyebrow. "You are aware that, in these kinds of novels, avoiding someone only makes them more obsessed, right?"  

Shen Qingqiu paled slightly, shivering.  

Shang Qinghua coughed. "A-Anyway! We're getting further away from the topic! I say we vote." 

"I vote for Liu Qingge taking him," Shen Qingqiu said immediately.  

"Seconded," Mu Qingfang added.  

"Thirded," Wei Qingwei said, nodding.  

"Me too," Qi Qingqi smirked.  

Liu Qingge turned to Yue Qingyuan desperately. "Shixiong—?"  

Yue Qingyuan looked mildly sympathetic… but still raised his hand. "No hard feelings here. It does seem like the most logical decision, Liu-shidi." 

Liu Qingge slammed a fist against the table. "You’re all betraying me!" 

“Aiyaa! Calm your tits, bro!” Shang Qinghua tried to placate, before a certain Qing Jing Peak Lord interjected.

"No, no, we’re supporting you, shidi." Shen Qingqiu said, smiling far too innocently.  

Liu Qingge scowled at him. "You just don’t want to deal with Luo Binghe."

Shen Qingqiu raised a brow. "And? While I do love him–”

“Like a Gayass.”

“Or Gaylord.”

“Also a Twinklord.” 

Wei Qingwei, Shang Qinghua, and Qi Qingqi all snorted in unison, snickering. Yue Qingyuan sighed at their antics, while Shen Qingqiu gave them a withering, unamused glare, continuing despite the interruption.

“–I don’t want to deal with him. That’s the whole point."  

“What, and I do?!”

Shang Qinghua patted Liu Qingge on the shoulder. "Hey, look on the bright side. At least we’ll all help you out, right? You're not the only one to suck up to him by hugging those golden thighs! We will too! Someone just has to take him in, and you happen to be the perfect candidate, that's all!” 

Mu Qingfang nodded. "Yes. We can monitor his progress together and make sure he doesn't turn into a disaster."  

Qi Qingqi smirked. “Lest a protagonist destroys us all." 

Wei Qingwei sighed. "At the very least, we should try to raise him well. If nothing else, maybe we can make his childhood–erm, adolescent stage? Anyway, we can slightly make it less miserable." 

Liu Qingge groaned, rubbing his temples. "Fine. But if he so much as breathes wrong, I’m kicking him out of Bai Zhan Peak."

“Aiyaa, the System won't allow that. He just needs to end up in a Peak, hence your Peak is it.” Shang Qinghua grinned brightly, a weight off his shoulders. 

“Fine. If he breathes wrong, and I end up in a pickle pot, I'll throw you all under the bus, so we all share the same fate–then I'll tell you all that ‘I fucking told you so’.” The Bai Zhan Peak Lord amended.

Shen Qingqiu smiled, satisfied. "That’s the spirit." 

As the meeting adjourned, Liu Qingge leaned back in his seat, staring at the ceiling in utter despair. He had somehow been roped into ‘adopting’ the future Demon Emperor into his Peak.

Meanwhile, Shen Qingqiu sighed in relief. For the first time since arriving in this world, he actually felt a shred of hope.  

Sure, they were still doomed to live in a trashy papapa novel.  

But at least HE wasn’t the one stuck raising Luo Binghe.

Chapter Text

“Bro, I miss pizza.” Shang Qinghua whined as he lounged around in Liu Qingge's room, specifically flopping over his blanket covered legs.

Now, normally, everyone was busy with their respective peaks, doing who knows what— but right now, some of them were lounging in Liu Qingge's room.

Not all of them were there, since they have places to be. Of course, everyone found out that everyone was a transmigrator—but that’s another story for another time—so that makes it 12 now. Plus Mingyan, who happened to be Liu Qingge's younger twin sister in his past life. So that makes it 13 transmigrators.

(....They still haven't figured out who the 14th and 15th were. Really, who needed that many transmigrators? Wouldn’t at least five be enough or something? Not that Liu Qingge was complaining about it–he's just confused and still in disbelief on how they all died reading a porn web novel.)

The people in Liu Qingge's room were Yue Qingyuan, Shen Qingqiu, Shang Qinghua, Wei Qingwei, Mu Qingfang, and Qi Qingqi.

It may seem not much, but Liu Qingge’s room isn't that big and only had space for his numerous shelves of figurines, a bedside table, a bed, and himself.

Again, the room wasn't even that big enough to hold all of them!

Why were they even here? It's like TWO in the fucking morning!

“Bro….why the fuck are you all here?” Liu Qingge questioned as he gritted his teeth, groggy and grumpy as he pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

“Not all of us are here! The other transmigrators are on their peaks!” Qi Qingqi pointed out, way too cheerfully.

“Yes, but why are you here? It's literally two in the fucking morning.”

Unfortunately, Liu Qingge was ignored.

He had been startled awake when they all had burst into his room, taking whatever spot they could, before huddling on the floor or on his single, cozy bed.

Right where he was!

Liu Qingge doesn't know why the fuck they're all here,but he would very much appreciate it if they all get OUT and come back another time.

Like–can't a man get his sleep?

“Ohh, you got some nice looking figurines here….wow, your room really is….a weeb’s room.” Wei Qingwei even commented, picking a figurine of a certain ghost king with the god that he worships.

“Not a weeb…” The Bai Zhan War God grumbled, but alas, he was ignored.

“Oh my gosh–is that Hua Cheng AND Xie Lian ?!” Qi Qingqi gasped, as both she and Shang Qinghua excitedly went over to squeal over the well made figurines.

Liu Qingge groaned, giving up; not like he had a choice anyway, it's clear that the others don't plan to leave anytime soon.

“Those aren't mine. Those are Mingyan's. At least, more than half of them are. I mostly keep game figurines, unless I really like whatever it is that Mingyan suggests to me…she couldn’t keep them in her room at your peak since she’s still a disciple, hence she begged me to put it in my room.”

“Dude– bro . Who is making these? Did you find someone to make you some figurines? Please tell me, so I can have a Hatsune Miku figurine!” Mu Qingfang inspected another figurine, a certain grandmaster with a flute, carefully admiring it in his hands.

“No. Mingyan and I made that.”

“What?!” The other Peak Lords exclaimed.

“The Bai Zhan War God, having artistic skills?! I can't believe you have a Qing Jing skill!”

Liu Qingge scowled at Shang Qinghua, looking offended.

“Hey! I'm not a brute! Just because I'm from Bai Zhan Peak, doesn't mean I am one!”

Shen Qingqiu picked up a rubik's cube, turning it this way and that, and even twisted the cube to change colours, before giving up and returning it to its shelf.

“Now, hang on…I don’t think we all ever brought up the topic of what our hobbies and jobs were back in our old world–are you a toy maker? Figurine maker? Whatever you call it.”

“No. I just learned it for fun. I majored in robotics and technology. I only learned all these things because Mingyan insisted that it's a good skill to learn. In short–I make whatever it is that she wants.”

Shang Qinghua leaned forward, curious.

“So…what does she do?”

“She majored in fashion and…makeup, I think? Or was it cosmetics? I don't know what it's called. Anyway, she cosplays too, so I ended up with a workshop and a basement. Hence, I make all the things she needs.”

Qi Qingqi gasped, sounding awed and delighted.

“Oh my gosh! Really?! She never told me that when we first met! I only knew that she's good at writing stories and fics! It's why we decided to write the stories that we liked in our past life so we can publish it here and find people who like said stories!”

Shang Qinghua wailed.

“WHAT?! So that's why you asked for a specific design for a workshop and basement? Are these figurines and all these stuff the reason for the expansion request of your leisure house that you sent me? Wait, how long have you been in this world?! Dude–can you make me some merch of my King? You know what he looks like, right? Tall, dark, handsome, and blue, with big tiddies–”

‘Ugh, noisy.’ 

“Yes, and yes. I was born here, so was Mingyan. And no, I'm not going to make you some Mobei Jun merch.” Liu Qingge deadpanned, looking so done with them. “Same with Mingyan. Unless she actually agrees to make you some merch.”

(Please. Someone–make them go away so he can have his sleep.)

After answering the questions, Liu Qingge pulled his sheets up over his head and turned on his side, done with interacting.

“ Wait –oh come on , dude! You can’t just leave your homies hanging!”

‘Well, I WILL hang you myself if you all don't leave me alone.’

Liu Qingge thought, annoyed.

Shang Qinghua whined, trying to tug the sheets off, but Liu Qingge glared at him and tugged harder as he ended up winning.

“No. Tired. Get out .”

Shang Qinghua toppled back with a squeak, falling over his behind with a groan.

“Zhangmen-shixiong, Qingge is being mean!” Qi Qingqi pouted, making Shen Qingqiu snort: honestly, he has no idea why he’s here either.

He had been so rudely awakened just as Liu Qingge had been. Hence he didn’t talk much, and was now half falling asleep at the foot of the other’s bed.

“Perhaps we should come back another time, shidi. I, for one, would like to return to the warmth and comfort of my bed.” Yue Qingyuan suggested, a little tired.

Shen Qingqiu was even seen rubbing his eyes, looking a little sleepy.

“Oooor…we could all just have a sleepover.” Wei Qingwei cheerfully hummed.

Shen Qingqiu gave all of them a withering glare.

“We all have peak matters to take care of. I do not appreciate being taken out of my bed at such an early hour–I thought we would be discussing important matters, yet Shang-shidi clearly failed to inform me that this was what we would be doing–unnecessary things.”

A pillow was thrown at Shen Qingqiu’s face, which made him sputter for a bit, bristling. 

“HEY!”

(Thankfully enough, it wasn’t the porcelain type! Or else Shen Qingqiu would have gotten brain damage or something!)

Liu Qingge sat up, hair tousled, braided hair a little messy as he glared at all of them.

“Either stay or don’t . Sleep or leave . Preferably– leave . I will not entertain invasive guests any longer.” He growled in displeasure.

Silence.

Then, there were rustles of clothing as each took their spot. 

Shen Qingqiu, placed his socked foot against Liu Qingge's lower back, pushing at it as the War God turned around to glare at him.

“Move over. I am not sleeping on the floor.”

“This is my bed. You come to my leisure house, uninvited, and now you demand to sleep on MY bed?”

There was a moment of scuffling between them.

“ Move it , Qingge!” Shen Qingqiu hissed.

“Excuse me?! Why would I? This is MY bed!” Liu Qingge squawked in outrage.

The scholar clicked his tongue, and now used both hands to try and move the stubborn Bai Zhan War God over to the side.

“Just scoot over already!” 

Liu Qingge resisted.

“No!”

The Qing Jing Peak Lord was now annoyed.

“Stop being so stubborn! It's just a bed!”

“Yeah, well– my bed! So I get to decide who should be in it! Why are you annoyed now, ah? Who gave you the right?”

The warrior glared at Shen Qingqiu, slapping his hands away. 

“It's past four! Let me in– Ow ! Hey!”

Liu Qingge had kicked him, while sticking out a tongue at him.

“Deserved– ouch ! You–!”

“ You kicked ME first–don't expect me not to hit back!”

They both glowered at the other–meanwhile, the others have settled on the floor and ignored them, already sleeping or preparing to.

…Except Yue Qingyuan, who sighed, sitting up from the floor and making his way to them.

“What, are you five ?!”

They kept arguing and hitting each other–

–before an annoyed sect leader squeezed in to shake both of them, before forcing the three of them to lie down on the bed–it was a tight fit.

“Stop arguing. Let's all just sleep.” Yue Qingyuan frowned, pinching his two silly and hot tempered shidis’ cheeks, hard.

“...This is my bed!” Liu Qingge grumbled unhappily as he protested.

“Serves you right.” Shen Qingqiu huffed, just to be petty at having the last word in.

“You–!”

“Qingqiu. Qingge.” Yue Qingyuan sternly warned.

It took them a while before they all settled down, while the others slept on the floor.

The annoyed Liu Qingge had no choice but to be uncomfortably squeezed in between his idiot shixiong number 1 and idiot shixiong number 2, aka, Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu.

“...”

Every minute that passed by, Liu Qingge could not help but wonder why he agreed to this.

After everyone had their sleep and left him to it, he had turned over to sleep more–he deserved this after dealing with everyone's shit, training his disciples, and leaving the sect now and then–only to be dragged out of his bed.

At first he fought to escape, until he realised it was his sister.

He finds himself dragged to Xian Shu Peak–against his wishes–and shoved into A-Yan’s room, where his dearest sister begged him to agree to being dressed up.

Hence why he's here now.

“Ge, you look so pretty!”

“A-Yan….”

“Lolita really does suit him well! Hm….it makes me think now… what if we had him perform on a stage somewhere to dance and sing? Make him an idol and all!” Liu Mingyan clapped in delight, excited.

“He can't be alone. He needs back up dancers and singers….if we're doing this, we have to profit from it.” Qi Qingqi hummed, stroking an imaginary beard.

“Ah, always the money and profit for Shizun.” Liu Mingyan shook her head.

A couple of rustles, and Liu Qingge now towers over the three.

Liu Qingge glared at them.

“Are you done?”

“Eh, not really.”

“A-Yan!”

“Ge, please! It's so boring here! We need a few idol-y things!”

“Mm, I agree–plus imagine…the money that we’d make from it all….”

“A little more modern stuff would be nice–since it's taking so long for you to make some technology stuff…”

Liu Mingyan sighed.

Liu Qingge pinched the bridge of his nose out of annoyance, but ended up looking a little adorable due to his current look instead of terrifying them.

“Wei-shidi, Shang-shixiong, and I are working on it as best as we can. It's not like it's easy to replicate things.”

As the two tried to convince Liu Qingge to wear more clothes, Shen Qingqiu popped by the doorway, knocking on the door frame.

“Hm, just as this Master had thought…you guys really were here.”

“Ah, Shen-shixiong! Do you need anything? How can this shimei be of assistance?” Qi Qingqi greeted with an enthusiastic grin and wave, while the others just gave him a nod–well, a deadpan on Liu Qingge's part.

Shen Qingqiu, otherwise known as Peerless Cucumber, snapped his fan open.

“Tonight, after the Peak Lord meeting…Zhangmen-shixiong had suggested a sleepover.”

Then he snapped it close once more, tapping it gently on his own palm, waiting for their reactions.

“...Oh. This one hasn't had those in forever….” Qi Qingqi muttered–”You literally just had a sleepover at my leisure house, in my room.” Grumbled Liu Qingge, while Liu Mingyan suddenly turned to her brother.

“...This disciple is invited…right?”

“Naturally. The only reason why the Peak Lord meetings are even held almost weekly now instead of monthly, is because everyone wants to meet up every once a week to share information or gossip.” Liu Qingge crossed his arms. 

At his actions, Shen Qingqiu's eyes finally registered what he was wearing as they landed on him, before he hastily snapped the fan open, shoulders trembling as the lower part of his face was covered by said fan.

“What?” The Bai Zhan War God demanded, brows furrowing. 

“...Ehem. Nothing, Liu-shidi.”

“If it's ‘nothing’, then why are your shoulders shaking?”

“It really is nothing.”

“....”

“.......”

“.....Pfffft–HAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

“ You –why are you laughing? What's so funny?! Stop laughing!”

“*wheeze*”

“I said stop it! What are you even here for?!”

“Liu-shidi, you…you look so pretty ! HAHAHAHAHAH! What was that thing that one of our shimei likes to do? ‘Oppa~! Saranghaeyo~! ”

“I will kill you!”

“Bwahahahahahah!”

Liu Qingge tackled the laughing Peak Lord, who all but dramatically screamed as he fell down, and then they began rough housing.

“Aiya, kids these days….”

Liu Mingyan shook her head, while Qi Qingqi raised an eyebrow at her.

“Aren't you a kid?”

“Let’s not talk about that, Shizun. This isn't about me.”

Shang Qinghua, who was currently leaning against Yue Qingyuan’s back, snacked on some melon seeds as he held a clipboard and wrote on it.

On his list, were the things that they would do, varying from just gossiping, to attempting to cook some things, playing games, or simply to bond.

“Guys, I have an idea.”

Shen Qingqiu gave him a look of suspicion.

“This better be a good idea.”

“What do you mean? I always gave good ideas!”

Liu Qingge snorts.

“Says the man who made ridiculous names for the monsters and plants of PIDW.”

“Well, anyone would be lazy with naming stuff if they were in my position! Anyway, shut up for a moment and listen up–how about we play a game?”

Shang Qinghua glared at Liu Qingge, before crossing his arms and announcing a play game that he wanted to try and play just to troll people.

Liu Qingge perked up, leaning forward slightly.

“What game….?”

Even Shen Qingqiu leaned forward. Their serious faces, not matching their adorable onesie like outfits, but hey- no judging here! It's onesie night!

“Well… “

A few hours later…

“Did Husband tell you when the next shipment will arrive? My Qing Jing is in dire need of the materials for making our guqin.” 

Shen Qingqiu snapped his fan open, his eyes sharp and cold as he glared from behind said fan at Shang Qinghua who sniffed haughtily at him.

“Well, too bad, Shen-jiejie. It's not bound to arrive until next week!”

“Who are you calling your ‘jiejie'? How dare you speak to me like this?!”

To those who were hearing them interact for the first time, you would think they were actually at each other's throats. In reality, everyone knew they were close.

Somehow, things turned to this: Shang Qinghua had the brilliant idea for all of the Peak Lords to act like they were the ‘sisters’ of Luo Bingge's harem, and they were married to him, hence why the term ‘Husband’ and ‘jiejie’ and such.

Where did Shang Qinghua got this idea, you ask? Well, from Xiaohongshu, of course! Everyone had this random idea to act like the sisters in the comment section, where each conversation they had would be connected to their “husband”. Something that was suggested by the og of the post.

And so, due to boredom, everyone agreed. 

Whenever they beefed with each other, or when they met, they'd talk in such a way, as if they really were the women of Luo Bingge's harem, and they were really fighting amongst each other.

….What they didn't know, those who heard or witnessed them doing this, had set off a rumour that all the Peak Lords were married to one, powerful, rich man.

Chapter Text

“No, you have to smile , Ge!”

Liu Mingyan insisted, while an annoyed Liu glared at him.

“I am smiling! I know how to smile! What do you think I'm doing?”

Shang Qinghua hummed as he crunched on his melon seeds, narrowing his eyes as he looked at the other practicing his introduction to a certain future demon emperor.

“I dunno, bro. You look like you're kinda constipated….”

“You try it then!”

Shen Qingqiu sighed, flicking his wrist to snap his fan open, his eyes looking upwards as if to ask for patience or a divine intervention, before looking at Yue Qingyuan pointedly to make him do something.

“Tsk. So noisy! Zhangmen-shixiong. Do something about this.”

A certain sect leader was, of course, busy with petting a Horned Two-Tailed Feline, that was well…as the name says, basically a cat with horns and two tails.

“So adorable~!”

It was a spiritual beast that was being bred and taken care of in Ling You Peak, something that Liu Qingge brought back during one of his night hunts.

This one in particular, was attached to him: after all, he was the first thing that did not flinch when it had attacked him out of fear, and just grabbed it by the scruff and brought it home.

“Zhangmen-shixiong.”

Shen Qingqiu, aka, Cucumber-bro sighs again, reminding Yue Qingyuan that no–just because you ignore your problems or any trouble happening, doesn't mean they're not happening. 

He could hear Airplane screeching for mercy as an annoyed gremlin called Liu Qingge was trying to stuff the other into a hideous looking dress–wait….

“Shidi….where'd you even get that….?” The bewildered Yue Qingyuan asked, confused. Like, sure, they were in Liu Qingge's room—of course it was his room and he had no choice but to let things happen there—but he doesn't recall such a thing there.

“It's A-Yan’s first work in this world. She tried to make a lolita dress for the first time, and this happened. As you can see, it went terribly.”

“A fitting punishment for a rat, don’t you think?” Shen Qingqiu hummed, amused at the horrified look in the author's face.

“Guys! Guys! Come on, I was only joking around!” Shang Qinghua wailed, clinging to Qi Qingqi’s legs, while Liu Mingyan helped her brother try to stuff the wailing hamster into the dress.

“I don't know….he looks more like a hamster than a rat to me.” Mu Qingfang observed, while Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes at him.

“Him? A hamster? Likening him to one is an insult to all hamsters.” He scoffed. Yue Qingyuan raised an eyebrow at the other.

“Oh? And likening him to a rat doesn't?”

As the other Peak Lords chatted, they soon forgot about a wailing hamster begging for help and calling out for mercy.

“Liu-shidi, please–!”

“No. This is your punishment. You will use your best customer service smile, while wearing this.”

Said the Bai Zhan Peak Lord, before proceeding to stuff the hamster into the horrid dress, ignoring his cries for mercy.

“Ah, what did I do?! I just meant that you need to put more genuine feelings into your smile when welcoming Luo Binghe!”

“No. You said I looked constipated .”

“It was a figure of speech!”

Yue Qingyuan petted the creature on his lap, his mind wandering over their interactions with each other after the reveal. Hard to think that it's been a couple of months now

Everyone ignored Shang Qinghua, busy with whatever it was they were doing. 

“Hm, I wonder what's for dinner later….” Wei Qingwei dreamily sighed.

“Pizza. I heard Shang Qinghua craving about it, so I had prepared for it.” Yue Qingyuan immediately answered, and smiling as he saw the people around him perk up.

Even Shang Qinghua and the others were quick to join them.

“Ah, no wonder you had so many things delivered to your Peak. Does Hua-ge know this?” Liu Mingyan asked, as she was one of the disciples who had helped out with deliveries sometimes when she felt bored.

“Wait what? Really? You made pizza because you heard me craving? Awww, Yue-ge! How sweet of you! I didn't know you put things into action and actually made some pizza! Best Da-ge ever! C’mere and lemme give ya a hug!” Shang Qinghua affectionately squealed, glomping the other.

The Qiong Ding Peak Lord chuckled at that, patting his head with a free hand and shaking his head as he continued by answering Liu Mingyan.

“No. He only knows I need them to experiment with something, but not the fact that I put on those orders in An Ding because I plan to make pizza. I had my disciples and some from different peaks help me last night in making as many of them as possible— and we had to cook them and put them in a stasis talisman. Some of the pizzas will be distributed to the other peaks as well, so each disciple can taste them.”

“Oh? So that's why you sent each of us a letter to borrow some of our disciples! I wondered why, I thought there was a serious mission that required some disciples from each Peak–I was waiting for you to call us for an emergency meeting.”

Yue Qingyuan ducked his head in a brief apology.

“My apologies, Qingqi-shimei–I did not mean to alarm any of you.”

“Nah, it's alright. We all know how much you care for everyone. It's really not a surprise that you enlisted our disciples' help to make a lot of pizza just so everyone can have a taste! A true Zhangmen, for real!”  Wei Qingwei laughed, smacking his shixiong's back strongly, while Yue Qingyuan just smiled exasperatedly at the force, but did not seem pained.

“Hm, and let me guess–each disciple will get one whole pizza, and each slice is different so they can taste the different flavours.” Mu Qingfang stated, sipping from his tea.

Yue Qingyuan nodded.

“It was purely so everyone in our sect could have a taste of our home.”

Everyone began to look distant at that word, eyes filling with home sickness and nostalgia.

“Home, huh….I wonder where that is. This doesn't fully feel like home….” Shen Qingqiu mutters, looking outside the window.

(Apparently my notes were too long, so I'll put it here instead.)

Sorry for the slow update and the short chapter, everyone! I did give you guys a heads up that this would be a chapter that's just information about the peak lords….of course almost all of them are Chinese, or well, have Chinese blood, because well….it's about PIDW, of course most people who read it would be the netizens of where it had originated from. I'm not good at Chinese culture (or any other culture for that matter) and all that, but I will try my best to do my research. (Ironic, cuz I have Chinese blood, but I don't know a lot of things about it–then again, I didn’t grow up there!) The flags are there to show their nationalities and/or where they come from–just additional info. A lot of these are inspired by my friends from different nationalities and all that, but I think it would be a great idea to give my readers a little fun to decide the other Peak Lord names, where they're from, a vague idea of what kind of person they used to be, and what nationalities they have. And if any of you are from said nationalities, please do leave a comment on anything related to it! (Like culture, food, beliefs, practice, etc!)

(At this point, I really am just randomly choosing stuff. Was it called wheel of choices? I dunno and I forgot, hahaha.  Please help me out with Peak Lord names, I’m begging you– I'm bad at Chinese names.😃)

There will be more information on how each transmigrator discovered PIDW even though it was supposed to be mostly available to China, but the hints will be on the story.

Ehem! For now, the System has allowed me to reveal these following information–

1. Qiong Ding Peak → The peak of the sect’s leadership (Yue Qingyuan)

Information: 🇯🇵 Shen Qingqiu stan/simp/apologist. Just an ordinary middle aged man working at a black company. No family, his mom died when he was a teen, and father has been absent since birth. Has great drawing skills that he developed whenever he wants to de-stress on whatever meager free time he has. Could have been an artist if he pursued it and if he wasn’t forced to work at the said black company. Found PIDW and read it out of boredom. Died of heart attack from stress and exhaustion during work hours. Transmigrated during Yue Qi’s qi deviation in the Linxi Caves. 

1. Qing Jing Peak → The peak of scholars, artists, and musicians. And strategies. (Shen Qingqiu)

Information: 🇨🇳 Luo Binghe fan/simp. Infamous anti-fan, Peerless Cucumber. Certified Shen Qingqiu hater. (The irony.) A sickly young master and third son, who doesn't need to worry about money. Has loving parents, two older brothers, and a younger sister. Died from rage and choking on a meatbun after leaving a scathing comment on PIDW. Transmigrated during one of the OG Shen Qingqiu’s qi deviation.

1. An Ding Peak → The peak in charge of sect logistics, including stock transportation and repair of damages. (Shang Qinghua)

Information: 🇨🇳 Mobei Jun simp (and Shen Qingqiu). The author of PIDW, Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky. A poor Chinese undergraduate who didn't manage to finish college due to lack of funds and support from his divorced parents. Wrote PIDW to earn money, so he could survive and have food on the table and money for rent. Died by getting electrocuted, when he accidentally tripped then spilled his ramen all over his old laptop. Transmigrated as a baby in PIDW as Shang Qinghua.

1. Bai Zhan Peak → The peak of martial artists/swordsmans. (Liu Qingge)

Information: 🇨🇳 Simps for no one, neither is he interested. (He hasn't found anyone interesting yet, that's all.) College student majoring in robotics and technology, was supposed to be in his last year of college. The older twin of Liu Mingyan in their past life. Had parents who supported them in whatever they wished to do. Neither rich nor poor. His sister introduced PIDW to him, since she heard he likes xianxia and wuxia genre, and just told him to ignore the stuff he doesn't like. (He read it–didn't like the papapa, but still liked the action scenes if you ignored the papapa scenes.) Died by getting hit by Truck-kun. Transmigrated as a baby, grew up in PIDW thinking he's the only transmigrator, until his sister Mingyan was born.

1. Qian Cao Peak → The peak of medicine and healing. (Mu Qingfang)

Information:🇨🇳🇬🇧 Yue Qingyuan simp. A doctor who studied his doctorate in China, but volunteers for natural disasters or medical missions. Not full Chinese, and is from the UK. Spent most of his time in India’s hospitals (don't ask why, he doesn't know either, it just happened). Found PIDW upon seeing it being hot on the list of top webnovels, and read it out of curiosity: and was horrified by the papapa descriptions and described positions, but still read it for well...science. Died after the hospital he was in was attacked by terrorists in India. Transmigrated after OG Mu Qingfang had an “accident” during his disciple days.

1. Xian Shu Peak → An all-female peak. (Qi Qingqi)

Information: 🇷🇺 Simps for no one except the Love and Deepspace boys, especially Xavier and Sylus. Would rather date fictional men–or irl women–than irl men. Loves danmei, gaming, anime, and webnovels. Is close to the two Liu’s, whom she met online. A BJD (ball jointed doll) enthusiast. Found PIDW out of boredom. A business graduate who went out to celebrate with friends. Died on a girls’ night out–doesn't remember what happened, and how since it all happened too fast. Transmigrated and found herself in the middle of homework,aka, disciple days.

1. Wan Jian Peak → The peak of sword masters and smithing. (Wei Qingwei)

Information: 🇩🇰 Something like a streamer and blogger. His content can have random moments, either something science-y, something related to survival camping, or inventing slash experimenting with stuff. Mostly focused and obsessed over smithing, thus his content was focused on that more often than not, so his content would be something like him being a blacksmith in ancient times. Found PIDW because he got curious and got obsessed with making xianxia swords. Died after an experiment gone wrong. Transmigrated after he woke up Qian Cao, all sore, also during disciple days.

1. Ku Xing Peak → The peak of ascetic cultivation and talismans.  (???)

Information: (None atm. Will be updated after the name is given.)

1. Zhi Ji Peak → The Feng shui and divination peak. (???)

Information: (None atm. Will be updated after the name is given.)

1. Ling You Peak → Beast Taming. (???)

Information: (None atm. Will be updated after the name is given.)

1. Zhu Xian Peak → Brewing, elixirs and spiritual food. (???)

Information: (None atm. Will be updated after the name is given.)

1. Chuang Zao Peak → Artifact Refining. (???)

Information: (None atm. Will be updated after the name is given.)

1. Xian Shu Head Disciple → Liu Mingyan 

Information: 🇨🇳 Sha Hualing simp and Ning Yingying simp. WLW enthusiast. Thinks they deserve better than Luo Binghe since they could have been more than just wives–granted, she knows why LBH got them,why he might have deserved them, but it felt kinda empty to her that he got all those women like they were trophies–she doesn’t hate him though, just pitied him. A cosplayer and a gamer. Younger twin of Liu Mingyun. Online besties with Qi Qingqi. Found PIDW after she saw an official art of Shen Qingqiu fighting Liu Qingge, and shipped it ever since. College student majoring in fashion and beauty/make up. Died of heartbreak upon finding out her brother got hit by a Truck-kun. Transmigrated as a baby in PIDW as Liu Mingyun’s/Qingge’s younger sister–only to find out her Ge had been transmigrated as her Ge once more.

1. Future King of the Mobei Clan → Mobei Jun. (Shang Qinghua’s Mobei Jun ofc.)

Information: 🇨🇳 A world wide known musician. He has a social platform with many followers simping over him despite not having his face visible and hidden all the time. (Hint: Shang Qinghua got his inspiration from faceless MBJ) Has never read PIDW and doesn't know about it either. Died after a stalker stabbed him for taking their lover's attention away from them. Transmigrated as a demon baby, with memories a little scrambled. (He knows he shouldn't be beating up Shang Qinghua, but doesn't know or remember why . He just knows it just hurts, so he lessens the blows and eventually stops, when he sees the other flinching more often than not at him. Shang Qinghua is just surprised when after a few years of being in Mobei Jun’s service, Mobei Jun’s beatings had gentled, then dwindled to a halt.) Has a baby gremlin of a little brother who he doesn't know how to deal with sometimes.

1. [Restricted access]  → [Restricted access] Note: He's a little bit of a self insert.

Information: 🇵🇭🇨🇳 Gongyi Xiao simp. Female in past life. Was a NEET for a while, before his parents decided to make him study again. Obsessed with ouji fashion and lolita fashion. Obsessed with Genshin. Literally obsessed with too many things to count. Sleeping is life. As well as food, of course. And anime. And danmei. Literally, anything to enrich life! (He actually came from IRL, aka, doesn't know much about PIDW but he does know of SVSSS.) Loves when drama happens, but hates it when he's involved in it. Wished to be in the world of SVSSS,but got cried after it happened after realising how hard it is to live there. Died through suicide, after some misunderstandings and overthinking that it would be better if he's not in his parents’ and siblings’ life. Transmigrated as a disciple of [Restricted access] .

P.S.: I beg you to help me with the names and backgrounds for the other Peak Lords. It can be just an ordinary person, someone who’s just a student, someone who's already working, or whatever! Anything, really! Also, if one of you guessed who the 15th transmigrator is, I might make him appear in a chapter! (Leave naming the 15th transmigrator to me, that one is mine–the others are yours.) Also, oh gosh, I just realised each one either has a slightly dark past, in a way that they have a sad end. (Welp, it just happened.) 

The real chapter starts on the next one. See ya all next time!