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“Will you just admit it already? We’re lost.” Warriors said for the umpteenth time that afternoon.
“No, we’re not. I know exactly where we are.” Legend, a chronic bullshitter, replied.
He knew without a doubt they’d been going in circles for a while. The big tree they just passed? He’d scuffed it with his knife the third time they walked by it. But he would rather stick his hand in a bees nest than tell Warriors he was right.
“Two heroes of legend and not a sense of direction between either of you. Embarrassin’.”
The Captain hoisted Wild up more from where he was sprawled across his back, “Oi, pipe down or you’ll be walking back to camp on your own. I don't care if you're concussed.”
A grin flashed across Wild’s face, “Bet I could still make it to the others before you two, dodgy head n’ all.”
Legend sent one last glare the cooks way along with a quiet ‘you can’t even walk in a straight line, knobhead.’ before the group lapsed into silence.
Despite the circumstances, the wander through the lush greenery was pleasant. They’d long since forgotten the scouting mission they’d been sent on originally once coming across a monster camp. One lucky hit to the head later, and the trio had to retreat in the opposite direction.
The pair got their kicks poking fun at the accident-prone Cook until realising he was the only one who knew how to get back, despite Legend’s confidence. His head wound was bandaged in silence.
So hopeless wandering it was.
“At least it isn’t raining, it’s a nice day for getting lost in the woods.” the Captain remarked after a while.
“Not lost.” The veteran scowled, “And you’ll jinx us. Never say it’s a nice day until it’s over or some comedian deity will make you it’s next circus act, idiot.”
Warriors faked a gasp and rolled his eyes, “Your insults are so long-winded, I would’ve preferred you just call me a clown.”
“Alright, clown.” Legend donned his usual shit-eating grin, upping his pace and walking ahead of Warriors, “Y’know, it really suits you. I’m glad you came up with that nickname all on your own, Clown.”
The Clown honked out an “Oi!” loud enough to send the nearby wildlife into a frenzy.
“I wish that stupid club killed me; would’a been easier then listenin’ to you two.” This was definitely not doing Wild’s headache any favours. He sighed, reaching up to fiddle with the cloth that had been wrapped far too tightly in his opinion.
And much to the trio's absolute delight, they were about to re-meet some old friends that were ever so eager to see them again.
With a loud thunk, an arrow lodged itself into the tree beside the Cooks head, and a monster horn sounded off behind them.
The Captain practically launched forward into a run, leaving the poor concussed hero on his back scrambling to keep his grip. “Go! Fuckin’ run already, Vet!”
Legend placed himself between the pair and the monster swarm, a shield strapped on his back as he kept pace. “We should just take them out! You’re the tactician, come up with a plan!”
“What does this look like to you?!” Warriors called out, leaping jutting tree roots and dodging low branches with surprising ease considering the added weight, “This is a tactical retreat! We have an injured party, we shouldn’t risk a fight.”
An arrow ricocheted off the shield on his back with a clang, “Fine! But go faster!”
“Literally carrying someone here!”
“I don’t care, I’m not getting turned into a hylian pin cushion because you move slower than Sky!” he argued, but still kept between the Captain and their assailants.
Minutes later, the heroes broke the treeline and skidded to a stop in front of a wide rushing river that, to their utmost joy, immediately dropped away into a steep waterfall.
“Now what? There’s no way we can swim across, we’ll just have to face them.”
“We can’t. We have nowhere to back off into, the Cook can’t protect himself, and there’s no space. They’ll overwhelm us in seconds.”
The cries and roars of monsters grew louder.
“Unless you haven’t noticed, we don’t have any other option!”
“Stop yelling! I’m thinking!”
And louder.
“Well think faster, clown!”
“By the Goddesses, I’m going to kill you before those stupid moblins get the chance!”
Wild could see figures darting through the trees towards them, howls echoing in the quiet forest. He slid off of Warriors back, fighting with himself to keep upright and hobbled away from the screeching pair.
Guess it was up to him, since the others wanted to act like children. Leave it to the concussed hero to solve their problems, then.
This was a poor day for the Heroes of Courage.
He looked down over the drop, maybe a forty foot fall give or take? The base of the waterfall was covered by a mist thick enough that Wild couldn’t tell if the pool at the bottom was deep or plagued with rocks.
But the drop was definitely survivable. Like jumping in a puddle compared to diving off Shatterback Point back in Zora’s Domain. Easy.
There was a tiny voice whispering through the buzz of his brain that said this was not a very good idea. The voice sounded achingly similar to the hero of Twilight.
But when had he ever listened?
“We should jump off the waterfall.”
“What? Did that club knock something loose in your head? No.”
“Champion, we have no idea if it’s shallow or not. We just can’t risk it.”
“So definitely get shot full of arrows or maybe hit some rocks?”
“Step back from the edge and be rational here.”
Wild, with a headache pounding so hard there was no room for rationality, did not step away. He placed the back of his hand to his forehead and in the daintiest voice he could muster, called out, “Oh my, I’m suddenly feelin’ terribly lightheaded.”
And tipped backwards over the edge.
The cries of ‘Champion!’ and ‘Idiot!’ was lost to the wind whipping past his ears. For what it was worth in the few seconds of free fall, the sight of the noon sun dancing through the spray he was rocketing towards was quite spectacular. If he’d looked harder, he’d have noticed it made a faint rainbow in the waterfall's mist that he dropped through.
The Hero just about managed to right himself so he didn’t hit the water back first and kill himself before the other two Links had the chance. Definitely would have ruined their day.
Wild thinks he blacks out for a moment as he plunges into the pool, and it was doing absolutely nothing good for his headache. His head rattles as he drifts for a moment. But he lived.
Now who’s the idiot? I’m arrow-free and my bones are intact.
Small mercies.
He kicked back up to the surface with a gasp just as two screaming masses dropped like stones around him. The resulting waves sent him back under with flailing arms and a mouth full of water, the effort to swim back up more taxing than it had been the first time.
Breaking the surface once again, he’s met with the sight of the Veteran desperately chasing after his hat that was floating away and Warriors struggling with the hair in his eyes.
“Are you alright? Nothing broken?” The Captain managed to get out, spluttering out water and slowly moving in his direction. Chain mail was definitely not the best choice for swimming.
“Think I'm al’ight.”
“Good.” Warriors said, calmly, “Because when we get out of this bloody pond I’m drowning you personally! What you did was thoughtless and dangerous. The hell was ‘I’m feeling lightheaded’? By Hylia’s name I am so mad at you!” Warriors said, less calmly, and with more angry gestures than Wild thought was possible while treading water.
Yikes.
And the situation could get worse, as an arrow for the second time that day flew by his head into the murky depths.
The group of angry moblins seemed hellbent on taking them out as they gathered at the top of the cliff. Furious shouting from the mob had been swallowed by the sounds of the water, giving them the opportunity to organise themselves and rain down on the heroes.
“Head for cover under the waterfall!”
Wild didn’t have to be told twice.
The cover of the mist thankfully reduced the sight of their frantic swimming, and the trio managed to make it with only a shallow graze on the Veteran’s shoulder and a nick in the Cook's ear.
Hidden behind the waterfall was a nook just big enough to fit the three heroes as they desperately caught their breath. It was cramped and the rock was hazardously slippery, one wrong move would send you right back into the deep. But it was safe for now.
As the adrenaline finally vanished, all Wild could feel was bone-deep exhaustion plaguing his body and blood slowly dripping down his forehead and ear. The pain from hitting the water from so high was finally kicking in. He felt like one big bruise.
This was going to be a fun tale to tell Hyrule when they made it back to camp, he mused. It really was a stupid idea to jump off, but they now sat in the safety of the waterfall on damp and rather uncomfortable stone. Alive.
Though getting back to said camp would be a chore. The trio would have to wait until the monsters gave up on skewering them first. And by Hylia, they were still lost. They'd be lucky to be found at this point, and nightfall would be upon them soon enough.
Wild felt like a light breeze could take him out. He sighed.
A ring-clad hand suddenly reached across him and pulled carefully at the soggy bandages on his head, letting them come loose and slide off with a sad plop. “This is still bleeding. We need to redo this with clean cloth or you risk an infection. There's no telling what gross shit was lurking in that water.”
The Champion’s gaze drifted from the floor to the Veteran, taking in the rip in the shoulder of his tunic and the scrunch of his eyebrows. He watched a stray drip of water flow down his forehead and drip off his nose with a quiet fascination. Dots appeared in his vision.
“You're lucky for the concussion, kid, or I’d knock you across the head myself. We’re having a conversation about your self preservation when you're conscious enough to remember it.” Legend said, and pulled a dry bandage from his seemingly endless supplies.
“Here, let me wrap his head. You get your tunic off so I can wrap your shoulder too.” The Captain slipped in, taking the roll from Legend’s hands.
“How in Hylia’s name am I supposed to take this off? There's no room and I'm not falling back in the piss pond.” Legend scowled, and unsuccessfully tried to pull down the collar to see the wound.
“The hell am I supposed to know? Figure it out, it needs to be cleaned. Wiggle it up and off, do I need to tell you how to dress afterwards as well?” Warriors turned back to Wild, “Can you hold your fringe out of the way for me, Champ? Then you can sleep some of this off.”
Even with his mind miles away, Wild could feel the instant fire blaze in the Veteran’s eyes. He really wished he wasn't stuck in between the two of them. So he obediently brushed his hair off his forehead, let it be bandaged, and stayed out of their way.
Wild could see them exchange heated words around him, but none of them held any meaning by the time they reached his ears. Maybe the impromptu dive had affected him more than he thought.
His wound was wrapped by the time he zoned back in, and he blinked sluggishly in surprise. He felt himself droop to the side until he was puddled across someone's lap.
“Think.. Think I’m gonna’ sleep for a lil’ bit.” Wild slurred.
A hand landed on his shoulder and another carefully rested in his hair. “That's okay. We’ll keep watch.”
Wild just about registered Legend’s words as his eyes drifted shut, finally letting the wave of exhaustion fall over him.