Chapter Text
Cast:
Atemu - Eggman
Yami - Rouge
Dark/Toru(Season 0 Yami) - Shadow
Heba - Sonic
Yugi - Tails
Tora(Season 0 Yugi) - Amy
Timaeus - Knuckles and others + sound effects
Timaeus(Intercom): There is a man trying to break into this place. Lock him in so he’ll starve. This is the most logical course of action. {Trying to not laugh.}
[Guns firing]
Atemu(Eggman): Did you see that hot JPEG footage that was just- [More gun fire] Oohoohoo baby! I’m gonna blow the walls offa this place! Goin’ uuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppp!-
{Laughter from the cast as Atemu was cut off}
Intro~
Atemu(Eggman): IT’S BEEN SEVENTEEN DAYS!! I’M STILL TRYIN’ TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!
{More laughter from the cast}
Timaeus(Robots): Please, stop. Ouch
Atemu(Eggman): OH MY RA!! IF YOU SAY PLEASE STOP ONE MORE TIME, I’M GOING TO PISS MY OWN ASS!!
Timaeus(Robots): Please, stop.
Atemu(Eggman): Get out of my way!!
Timaeus(Robots): Ouch, ouch, ouch.
Atemu(Eggman): AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
Atemu(Eggman): [Heavy breathing] Day 58!
Timaeus(Robots): Please, stop, ouch ouch.
Atemu(Eggman): The robots are becoming more sentient! They’ve started to know my name!! They don’t even say-
Timaeus(Robots): Please stop, Amun.
Atemu(Eggman): Wha- HOW DID YOU KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME?!
{Cast laughter}
Timaeus(Robots): I remember everything.
Atemu(Eggman): Five years! I’ve BEEN IN HERE FOR FIVE YEARS!!
Timaeus(Robots): Please stop. Your mother would be very disappointed.
Atemu(Eggman): AAAAAAAAAAAH!! GET OUT OF MY WAY!! EVERYONE MOVE!! GET OUT OF THE WAY, I NEED TO GET THROUGH!!
Timaeus(Robots): Remember that day, Atemu.
Atemu(Eggman): Level 4! ..NO!..
[The sound of Atemu’s hands hitting the door of his minecraft jail cell]
Atemu(Eggman): Let me out! Ohh, I gotta get outta here…
Atemu(Eggman): [VERY heavy breathing] Level 7! The luckiest number… [More heavy breathing, mixed in with relieved chuckles] Is that a Lever? [Chuckle chuckle…chuckle] The door opened!! [Chuckle chuckle] I can finally leave!!! Miah, I’m coming home, sweetie!! Oooooh, I can’t wait to see her beautiful face! Let me check her Twitter page on my holographics. Mh…mhh. Mmmmm forgot my password account…
{Some laughter}
Atemu(Eggman): Mmmmm, don’t wanna log into the dark web one, mmm..let just…R-A-A. [buzzer] Aw, that didn’t work. Shit. Now I have to log in with my.. Puzzle. Well, pyramid, but it looks like a puzzle.
{Cast Laughter along with a cough}
Atemu(Eggman): I see how it is. Alright, unlocking secret account. In 5..4..3..2[buzzer] I’m FUCKING PISSED OF, IT DIDN’T UNLOCK! It’s okay though, ‘cause the secret is unlocking. Oooooh aaaaaah!!
Dark/Toru(Shadow): And so, birthed from the critical pillar, and from, all of Atemu’s Twitter accounts….. I’m Hot Topic.
Atemu(Eggman): [Maniacal laugh] Who is this magenta striped mohawk- why you got purple flames on your head, cuz? What’s wrong?
Dark/Toru(Shadow): I put colorful flames on everything, from gay bitches to milk. It’s what I DO, as thy Ultimate Lifeform.
Atemu(Eggman): Well honey, your mascara’s on point. We gotta get the fuck outta here though because the building’s gonna explode. MAGENTA STRIPES? JET BOOTS?! OH MY RA!
Dark/Toru(Shadow): Don’t worry, I can fly. This won’t be brought up ever again.
Timaeus(HOT SHOT): I heard that you like the colorful flames. I’m going to blast you out of this dimension.
Dark/Toru(Shadow): Well I’ll eat you right up baby~ [Slurping noises]
Timaeus(HOT SHOT): No one is allowed to eat me. I’m going to have to destroy you immediately, unless you give me the password and your social security number.
Dark/Toru(Shadow): The password is “eat my asshole.”
Timaeus(HOT SHOT): Awwwwwwww, that’s not an actual Passwooooooooooord….
Dark/Toru(Shadow): And my social security is 21.
[Cast laughing followed by a “nice”.]
Atemu(Eggman): Wow! I’m gonna have to use that to get into your social security accoooooount. Shadow the Hedgehog, please join me by my side and we shall rule the earth together, hohaha! You can stand by me, Doctor Raman, even though my BODY used to be a regular SHAPE!
Dark/Toru(Shadow): Yeah, well, no. You’re fat.
[Raman noises]
Dark/Toru(Shadow): Lol. Get rekt, you fat scrub man, I’m gonna go fuck your wife now.
Atemu(Eggman): WHAT?! You are not ALLOWED to fuck my wife! Shadow! Come back here right now! SHADOW! WHAT THE FUCK?
[Laughter from the cast]
To Be Continued(4:34)