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Chapter Text

He slipped out of the infirmary the moment Doctor Beckett turned to check the beeping monitor on Lieutenant Cadman's bed. He knew he was supposed to stay. To get checked over. He knew it was important. But for some reason his feet were moving easily.

He smiled at the dazed looking marine by the door. Stackhouse, he thought. The one Lorne had taken aside when he'd been added to Cadman's mission last minute and told to watch out for him. Of course, he wasn't supposed to know that. But gossip on the city was competitive and cutthroat and he'd heard it for the fourth time in under three hours from Doctor Brown when she helped him pack his sample kit.

Stackhouse had been shadowing him when he found it. That beautiful little glade, choked with ferns and wildflowers. He'd taken so many samples he'd filled his kit. He didn't remember getting to the gate. But he remembered the whooshing sound as it engaged. The way the air hushed through the long grass, swirling the same seed pods he'd found littered on the ground in the glade. Cracking the flakey pods and sugaring the air with a fine mist of muted yellow pollen.

Beautiful.

He remembered extending his hand, letting the pollen freckle across his inner arm. He remembered Stackhouse's tac-vest coated in it. He remembered how pretty it looked powdered in Cadman's tight red braid.

Then they were back on Atlantis and Doctor Weir was high above them, sending them a smile and a wave from the control room. The worry-lines around her mouth easing a fraction as they milled around, debriefing.

She would look lovely with yellow in her hair.

He walked down the hall, away from the medical bay like he was following a thread. Knowing instinctively if he pulled it just right he would be able to watch it unfurl like a bloom. And that he'd be able to find out who he - no, they - really were.

The tips of his fingers tingled.

He felt like an ambassador.

He could see it, what he was meant to do.

And he knew, he knew-

A molten slur of second-hand pleasure ebbed into being when Ronon appeared around the corner. Almost like he could feel their joy before it had even happened.

He smiled serenely, pinging off the wall so they were suddenly close. Trailing his hand down Ronon's arm. Fingers spread in a wide comb. The fact he'd barely spoken a half dozen words to him was immaterial. Feeling so comfortable, so at peace he just hummed a happy note when the man stuttered to a stop. Staring at him. Staring at his hand on his arm. Staring at-

"They're waiting for you in the infirmary," he burbled. So confident he let his hand linger. Rubbing golden sparks into the tan of Ronon's skin.

"Who? ...What?"

He shook his head. It should be obvious. Already he could see the strain of cells under Ronon's skin. The desire to be complete. That was what this was. It was only what fit. What was right. Nothing else.

The thread he was following tugged pointedly. Reminding him he had somewhere to be.

His hand slipped from Ronon's arm with a puff of yellow pollen. Being sure to pat his shoulder encouragingly as he walked past. Leaving Ronon unsteady, but visibly confused in the middle of the hall.

Evan looked up when the door to Sheppard's little used office hushed open. Sending him a look, then another before the focus on his paperwork was soundly broken.

"Doc, hey! When did you get back?"

He smiled, rubbing sweaty palms together until the pollen that coated them made a thin paste. Painting the creases of his skin with off-set yellow.

"Just now. Doctor Beckett is busy, so I thought I'd come see you," he replied truthfully. He didn't need to lie, after all. This was all about truth. The pollen just made it easy. Like pruning an orchid after the blooms had died. Clearing the way for the next stage of flowering.

Evan blinked, surprised, but still smiled. Hand going up to touch his earpiece as a burst of chatter whinged like static in the background.

"Had fun? Did Stackhouse- wait...you haven't been checked out? You should-"

"Oh, yes," he agreed, cock so hard he couldn't help pressing his hand against the crotch. Letting Evan see as he came around the desk and- "You should see my samples..."

"Doc- David?"

He smiled again, feeling it go all the way to his eyes as Evan swallowed. Stumbling a half-step back, eyes flicking from his crotch to his face, then back again. Hand coming up to tap his earpiece. Face a beautiful wreck of slow understanding.

"Lorne here. Say that again?"

He reached out, feeling the thread tighten snugly. Waiting patiently until Evan hesitated, then took his hand in his. Shuffling closer. He looked down at their hands. A perfect fit. Just like he knew it would be. He sighed happily. Threading their fingers together as the paste of pollen smeared thick between them, coating their skin.

He knew Evan would look good in gold.

Everyone did.

They were so close now he could smell him. Taking a moment to paint yellow down the curve of Evan's jaw. Cupping him tenderly until he coaxed him into a soft kiss. The thread settled the same moment the kiss broke. Holding him up as Evan wavered, stunned and weak-kneed. He felt like laughing, so he did. Chuckling as he wrapped his index finger around the radio and tugged it out of Evan's ear. Barely able to hear Colonel Sheppard trying to hail him on the radio. Something about an airborne contaminant.

"Major? Major! Lorne- come in!"

Yes. Yes. Of course.

"I came to tell you something," he hummed. Slotting their hips together as Evan followed willingly. A sturdy, counterpoint weight as he slipped between the Major's thighs.

Because he knew things now. Maybe he'd always known but had been too afraid to try. Afraid that he'd ruin whatever fledgling thing they were working up too. The pollen made it so clear. Now he knew why Evan would show up on the quiet evenings in the botany lab just to talk to him. The extra training sessions. The way he chose him for his team again and again, even when a botanist wasn't specifically need. The way Evan looked at him when he thought he couldn't see him. The way-

"I want this too," he breathed, dragging his lips across Evan's until the wet caught and Evan cursed. Ripping his holster and side-arm clear behind them. Sinking his hand into his hair like he'd spent months wanting to do exactly that.

He groaned, so desperate for skin he tried to climb him. Fighting for his share of kisses and groping hands as Evan kicked the chair away and lifted him up. Snapping a laptop screen and sending tablets flying as he landed on his back across Sheppard's desk.

"David... Jesus! I-"

Evan ripped the zipper of his trousers downdowndown. Making him keen when cold hands seared down his naval. Untucking him from his briefs and swallowing him down in one frantic motion. They stilled like that - pausing with Evan's mouth wrapped tight and wet around his cock. His fingers tangled behind Evan's ears. Spreading yellow. Not able to find anything to hang onto. Anything to keep him grounded. To-

Evan's tongue fluttered across the underside of his cock. Worming a trapped hand out from under them just to ease along his flank. Rubbing soothing whorls into his skin as he breathed. So connected they didn't need words. Just this. Only this. Hopefully forever.

Still- there was something else he had to do.

One more thing before they could lose themselves.

He levered himself up, leaning back on his elbows as Evan watched him through the cover of long lashes. Keeping his cock warm as he sucked him gently. Waiting. Knowing. Beautiful. And best of all, his. Looking at him expectantly with a streak of yellow smeared across his face.

His consciousness furled outwards. Turning everything golden. Focusing all his intent towards the control panel on the wall. Feeling his ATA gene flow into the circuits and wires. Spreading gold as he coaxed the city to open for him. Looking for that one little switch he needed. Almost there. Ah. He grinned as Evan's mind brushed his, feeling the man's connection strongly as the city hummed. Somehow able to feel the way Atlantis jumped eagerly to obey. Turning the ventilation on as high as it would go in the medical bay before the moment was over and the control panel on the wall glowed vibrant blue.

Yes.

He tipped back his head, feeling that secondary burst of pleasure again as an image of his sample kit - open and forgotten on the floor of the medical bay - flashed across his vision. Somehow able to feel…hear…see the seed pod begin to open. Leaking gold into the air, through the ventilation slits, into every room, every space. Reaching. Spreading. Good.

And maybe Evan felt it too, because he reached for him when it was done. Resting his hands on his arms as his greedy mouth started to suck him in earnest. He smothered a smile - then a moan - into the crease of Evan's skin. Hips hitching into the slick of him as the outside world slurred, pleasantly out of focus. Highlighting only Evan. In the way he'd always been meant to see him. Sloe-eyed, slack-jawed and wreathed in sunlight.

Midas had nothing on this type of gold.

Chapter Text

"Laura, Christ-"

It didn't register they were in the middle of a situation until he was fucking into Lieutenant Cadman on one of the medical beds. Sinking into her tight, pink heat with his teeth bared. The scent of sex and something else - that delicious, musky tart he caught on the breeze when her team tromped in for their usual post world check-in.

Naturally something must have happened.

He just couldn't figure what.

Nor did he particularly care.

Because Cadman’s pants were caught around her ankles and he was living for the way it tightened every muscle from her cunt to her arse. Trapping her legs from moving as he fucked her bent over the side of the medical bed.

Distantly, he was aware this wasn't what he was supposed to be doing. Just the same as how he was aware that the entire med bay was a writhing mess of various couples and groups all similarly- engaged.

But he felt- good.

Like this was right.

Like-

A low growl rumbled from behind him. Hearing it a hefty half-second before large hands slicked down the small of his back, cupping his arse. The greedy, fever hot press was enough to make him shiver as sweat prickled down his skin. Head tipping back into a strong, muscled chest as Ronon - somehow he just knew - hemmed insistently from behind. Cock hard under his leathers.

Yes. Yes. Finally.

This meant something. Probably a few different sorts of somethings. But the only one that gained any real traction was that Ronon hadn't been with Cadman off world. But then Ronon rubbed his beard into the underside of his jaw and he promptly forgot why he even cared.

Because this was even better.

It was an itch he had even known he needed to scratch. Something that before all this he hadn’t been imaginative enough to consider. But now that it was here and on offer he was practically gagging for it.

Laura turned, contorting in a way that tightened her cunt even further. Squeezing a grunt from him as she looked back at Ronon consideringly. Slim shoulders flexing with the effort as somewhere behind them, a supply shelf gave way, thumping bodies and laughter. It made him want to toss back his head and do the same - to join them - only he didn't have the breath because Ronon's thumb had started brushing up and down the crease of his arse. Distracting him.

"I don't usually share," Cadman opened breezily, like he wasn't still shunting into her. Caught between wanting two different but equally distracting things.

"Neither do I," Ronon replied, beaded dreadlocks pebbling over his bare shoulders like a woolly rain. Suddenly rapt as Ronon's free hand reached under his elbow to graze the arch of Laura’s ankle. Peeling off the sock they'd missed and letting it fall into the tangle that was his medical coat and trousers.

Truly, he had no idea why they were still talking.

"Considering I'm in the middle, I think I might have the bigger say," he rasped. Leaning back so he could catch the edge of Ronon's mouth in a messy kiss. Pleasure spreading like a shower of sparks as his hips rutted forward, punching a breathy sound from her the same moment Ronon caught his chin and dragged him back. "Don't 'ye think?"

Laura huffed a laugh, then gave him a good squeeze. Encouraging him to get back to it as Ronon pushed forward. Snatching a stool and shoving it under his right knee - baring him open - as the click of a cap of lubricant echoed in the flaxen air.

If satisfaction had a flavor, it tasted like them.

Chapter Text

"Major! What the fuck-"

His boots made a gym-floor squeak as the door to his office hushed open. Unable to tear his eyes away from where Parrish and Lorne were moving on top of his god damned desk.

Fucking. They were fucking.

Considering what he'd seen on his way here, it shouldn't have been surprising. But for some reason it felt like the first time all over again. Not the two Marines enthusiastically making out in the gym. Or Kavanagh and a pilot with a Dedalus patch doing something he didn't want to think about on the east pier. According to the camera feed, whatever this was- almost everyone had been exposed.

Still, the picture Lorne and Parrish made brought him up short. Somehow slowing time as the door closed behind him, clipping his ass. He barely noticed.

Maybe it was the way their fingers were threaded together as Lorne thrusted into him. Like Parrish was the most important thing in the galaxy as their hips synced. He felt it like a second pulse. How Parrish's head lolled, face scrunched in the kind of pleasure that hurt to look at.

Like it was too good.

And they'd waited too long.

And-

The realization that his second in command was openly fucking his team scientist sank in belatedly. And maybe he could take some solace from the fact that his stomach still dropped. Automatically lurching forward - like he intended to rip him off him. But then he inhaled through the clogged filters of his mask and the thought vanished as quickly as it had appeared. He choked through another breath, every inch thick with the smell of sex, sweat and something else.

Life.

Even Atlantis was singing about it. Humming in the back of his mind in a way he'd never heard. Lush and swollen with-

He looked around the room, confused, blinking slowly. Swaying in a warming lull as Lorne and Parrish looked up at him from a halo of spreading yellow pollen. Swearing he’d been about to do something but having no idea what.

"Colonel Shepard!"

He'd just talked to him.

He'd gotten Lorne on the radio minutes ago.

Ten minutes? Fifteen? Twenty?

How long?

How long?

How-

Shit.

He threw up his hand futilely, trying to adjust how his mask covered his nose and mouth. Too late. The taste of spring was already in his mouth. Eyes darting from Lorne and Parrish to the pollen. Rushing the vents and spreading as Atlantis struggled – failed – to filter out the contaminates.  

"Shepard, come in! Are you there?! I have your location. It says Parrish and Lorne are three feet from you. Can you see them?"

Rodney's voice broke through the golden fog.

He breathed in, choking on a laugh as Lorne reached for Parrish's cock and stripped it slowly. Giving him something to fuck into as Parrish groaned, eyes rolling back in his head.

Yeah, he could see them.

The echo of his breathing was deafening. Every inhale and exhale an unbearable friction. He pulled at the seal, blindly tracing the mask's filtration system. It was working way too hard to keep the pollen out. It didn't make sense. These masks were rated for underwater. He'd worn them in worse and they'd never felt like this. Like he was running out of oxygen even as he wheezed another breath.

"Sheppard, this is Weir. Come in."

He doubled over, the hand on his side-holster slipping off in a puff of golden flakes. Flakes? He looked down, realizing his hands were covered in it. Like the pollen had softened into a cakey layer that covered every available surface.

What? How?

He nearly went cross-eyed as he tried to see the exterior ports of the mask. Finding the same problem. Yellow. They were covered in yellow. Everything was-

"McKay," he rasped, every word labored and thick. Desperate to rip off the entire fucking thing so he could just breathe. "Shut to down the air recyclers. It's in the-"

He blinked. All it took was saying Rodney's name and everything condensed. Simplified. Narrowing down to the only thing he needed to focus on. The only thing he wanted to focus on. Even now he could picture him holed up in a lab somewhere, frantically trying to stop this.

"Shepard? Shepard?"

Why hadn't he gone there first?

McKay would have known what to do.

But Lorne hadn't answered his radio and Parrish- the cameras had caught Parrish walking out of medical without being checked. Patient zero. Weir had ordered him to-

"John!? Where are you? I can-"

What had she said again?

It all felt distant. Muffled. Unimportant.

He tugged on his collar, throat rashing hot. Tongue sluggish, dragging through sweetness as the pollen clouded the exterior of his mask. Powdering his world in yellow.

"I've- I've been exposed..." he forced out. Because it felt important. Like muscle memory. "Rodney...I-"

He trailed off when Lorne's head came up, rhythm hiccupping as he and Parrish watched him with sloe eyes. And for some reason that felt like permission. Feet bringing him closer to where they were splayed across his desk. Fingers still threaded together.

There was something about it that made that last bit of uncertainty uncoil in his gut. Soothed in a way he’d never felt – not once - as Parrish smiled at him through the glow. Slowly untangling himself from Lorne to reach for him.

“John?! John!”

He sank down on his knees. Barely feeling it when his right knee clipped something. A boot. A side holster. Unable to do anything but allow it when yellow-caked palms pried his mask off. Welcoming him back to open air.

His first exhale - first full breath in ages - was a balm. Forgetting why he’d been worried as Parrish's smile stretched wide. Long fingers pulling his radio from his ear until it hung loose on his tac-vest.

Somewhere close by, the sound of laughter echoed. Somehow able to picture two bodies fumbling, ricocheting from wall to wall as one of them tugged off the other’s shirt. Eager for skin.

He was working on a sloppy, indulgent smile when Parrish crouched down and kissed him. Quieting everything but: yes, this. His lips tingled as he looked up, fingers smudging Parrish’s taste across his lips as the man returned to Lorne’s side. He watched as they curled around each other. Groaning with second-hand pleasure when his thoughts wandered to-

They knew.

They knew all of it.

They felt all of it.

"You know where he is," Parrish hummed. Chin tipping in his direction as he mouthed kisses down Lorne's throat. All long, lithe and shimmering, like an old-world god, as he stood slack-jawed. Working through every word.

"He's been waiting for you..." Lorne echoed, continuing where Parrish left off. Deferring easily when Parrish rolled them. Putting Lorne under him as their hips met. Every movement sifting yellow into the air. “…for a long time.”

He nodded. Head dipping to the right. Feeling a layer of pollen dislodge from the collar of his vest, then his shirt. Because Parrish was right. They were lovely, but not what his skin was itching for.

There was another heartbeat pounding beside his.

"Carry on, Major," he rasped thickly.

Lorne grinned at him with too white teeth.

Parrish was too busy pressing inside him to give him another look.

He barely felt his own footsteps as he followed that feeling - that second heartbeat - deeper into Atlantis. Leaving the occasional skid in the thin layer of pollen that was slowly covering everything. The floor. The transporters. Every nook and cranny it could settle.

He didn't need to look at a tablet or stick his radio back in. When it came to Rodney, he would always know how to find him. It was only now, with the world fractured into a dozen shades of gold, that he could admit it. He'd felt this way - some sort of way - about Rodney for years.

The second heartbeat throbbed.

So, he followed it.

He didn't say anything when Stackhouse fell into step beside him. Just giving him a knowing nod as spring-time motes swirled around them so thickly it looked like they'd bathed in the stuff.

Stackhouse had been off-world with Parrish.

Any other time he might have had questions.

Instead, as one, they simply picked up the pace.

They had somewhere important to be.

Chapter Text

"Sheppard! Are you-"

There were no barricades in front of the secondary lab. Nothing to indicate that anyone was holed up inside. He willed the doors open anyway. Sensing the second heartbeat starting to quiet. The closer he was, the more right everything felt.

So, when Rodney's head whipped up along with half a dozen other scientists, stuffed inside the containment area that made up the back half of the lab, he and Stackhouse were the only ones not surprised.

He cocked his head.

The scientists just stared. First in hope. Then in grim acceptance.

There would be no rescue.

At least not the way they thought.

The containment area had slowed the spread of the pollen, but not completely. He could see it in the damp hairs on Rodney's neck. In the way he was down to just a black shirt. But most of all, he could see it in the dark of Rodney’s eyes as he came closer. Watching him. Every inch laser-focused like he’d been waiting for him the entire time.

Still, he wasn't there yet.

"John? Can you tell me anything about your exposure level? Symptoms? How long-"

He let Rodney's voice flow over him like a balm as he scanned the line of familiar faces. Sensing nothing nothing nothing until his eyes fell on Radek and Miko. There. Them.

Stackhouse shifted, as if on cue. Because Miko hadn't looked at anything, not even the data pad in her hand, since Stackhouse had appeared in the room behind him.

He smiled widely, taking it all in, before turning back to the cluster of scientists ringed around Rodney. Barely able to drag his eyes away from how his shirt had wilted in the heat, clinging to Rodney’s upper arms.

"She’s looking for you," he hummed, focusing on Radek this time. Head tilting as golden tendrils threatened to overwhelm Atlantis blue. Weaving into the circuits in a way only a handful of people could see. "Can you feel her?"

She wasn’t his and even he could feel her coming.

There was nothing that could keep them apart.

Just like with Parrish and Lorne.

Just like him and McKay.

It was all there.

Radek frowned, mouth open, glasses falling down his nose.

"Colonel-"

But Rodney spoke over him, words a bit more jumbled this time. Focus harder to come by. It made him want to shiver. Finally able to own how many times he dreamed about being the one to make Rodney fall apart.

"There has to be something we can do!” Rodney bit off. Slamming his hand against the casing of the control panel in front of him. Eyes darting from the monitor, to him, then back again.

The sensor above the containment room blinked like a question.

All he had to do was think it and Atlantis would open it for him.

But he didn't.

He wanted Rodney to do it.

He wanted Rodney to choose him.

Somewhere off to his right Stackhouse pressed his hand against the glass. Eyes fixed on Miko as she inched through the crowd of scientists. Staring at each other from opposite sides of the containment glass. Both so quiet, so equally unassuming that he almost laughed out loud. Privately wondering why it hadn't occurred to him before.

"John?"

He hummed a quiet note, dragging his eyes away to focus back on-

"Rodney," he answered. Because it was an answer. Wanting, but content to wait. Knowing deep in his bones it wouldn't be long now.

He watched as Miko's hand pressed against Stackhouse's through the glass. Swearing he could taste the change as every muscle in Stackhouse's body relaxed. The air tasted sweet. Thick with-
Rodney's hand hovered over the button, hesitating.

"John."

He closed his eyes. Feeling second-hand pleasure flare as the moment hitched- set for the final hurdle. Wondering, as he waited, if Rodney's lips would taste as sweet as the pollen whispered they would.

"Rodney."

Radek backed away as he said it. Arm flaring out, keeping the other scientists behind him. Looking from Rodney, to him, to Miko and then back again. Speaking urgently to Rodney in increasingly broken English. Cheeks flushed like he was starting to feel it too. Fighting against the pull to just give in as the scientists he was protecting starting splitting into increasingly fractured groups. Frantically calling over the radio for help. Yelling about containment. Exposure.

He exhaled. Feeling the anxiety that had been slowly building until he'd laid eyes on Rodney filter out of him. Lulled by the rightness of it as Rodney's eyes fixed on his face. Searching. He gave him a half-smile. Certain that whatever he was looking for, he would find it.

There was no where left to hide.

And that was a good thing.

"Rodney, don't- Don't."

The anxious hunch that lived in Rodney's shoulders when everything went to shit softened. Wavering on his feet as golden motes clustered against the glass above his head. So close. So close.

"Rodney!" Radek insisted, a plead this time. “Ježíši, podívej se na něj! Dejte ruku pryč od tlačítka! We’re safe in here. Don’t do anything stu-”

His smile was still lopsided when Rodney straightened. Staring at him through the glass before he finally answered. Bringing the entire room to a screaming standstill as the edge of his palm fluttered teasingly across the wide-set button.

"It's already here..." Rodney murmured, wiping his mouth with the knuckled-flat of his hand. Smearing sweat. Smearing yellow. "I- I think it's okay..."

The understanding that flashed in Radek's eyes when Rodney's hand came down on the button was incomplete. As if he knew what Rodney was doing, but he didn't understand why. Not yet. But judging by the way the golden motes were already pressing against the glass, concentrating in expectant, targeted clusters, he figured Radek would know everything soon.

Atlantis chirped an affirmative, syrupy and drunk. Cheerfully overriding the standard decontamination protocol as Radek pushed Rodney out of the way. Frantically trying to undo whatever Rodney had done in time.

He shook his head, watching Rodney watch him through the panic. He thought about the version of him that had existed just a few hours ago. He thought about all the excuses. The hesitation. The denial. The way he’d buried every feeling of wanting more so deep. Unable to get past the fear that if he acknowledged it, if he reached for it, it would get ripped away. Just like everything else.

There were reasons why he couldn't have this.

There used to be reasons why he couldn't have this.

But not anymore.

One way or another, this had been inevitable.

Don't get him wrong, on some level it was the pollen.

But there was an entirely equal side that knew it wasn't.

That was the desperate beauty of it, really.

The pollen just made it easy.

That was the last coherent thought he had before the glass doors hushed open. Brushing past Radek and Miko to hook Rodney by the nape and kiss him quiet. Able to feel the exact moment Rodney kissed him back. Wide hands keeping him grounded as they immediately started worming under his tac-vest. Refusing to let go.

---

In all the second-guessing that would come later, that was the thing that stuck with him.

Chapter Text

He paused as the last of the main group streamed past him. Looking back at Rodney and Colonel Sheppard as yellow motes streaked the len of his glasses. His heart was hammering in his throat when Stackhouse lifted Miko into his arms, kissing languidly as the clang of a belt buckle hit the floor. It should have been ridiculous, a marine with his pants around his ankles. The awkward fumbling of Miko grasping his cock before finally fitting should have been mortifying to witness. But it wasn't.

"Radek! Come on!"

He let himself get pulled away when Katie Brown tugged meaningfully at his elbow. Wearing every emotion on her face as Sheppard grunted, exhaling Rodney's name like it was just another shared pleasure. Feeling the rattle in his teeth when one of their backs hit the wall.

It made him feel-

"She is looking for you. Can you feel her?"

His shoulder clipped the door, momentum turning him back. Getting a blurred flash of Sheppard on his knees, gazing up at Rodney with an open, flayed look. Face ducking into Rodney's hand, cupping his face. Somehow achingly intimate despite the fact that Rodney had his cock plumped in the other. Feeding it into Sheppard's open mouth like every bit of this moment had already been written.

Yellow smeared across the screen when he locked them in. Unsure if it was to keep them contained or protect their privacy. Maybe both. Fingers shaking as his peripheral vision warped. Drunk. Unable to get what Colonel Sheppard had said out of his mind.

She? Who was she?

Sviňák!

He pushed his way to the front of the group. Snapping off a few firm words. Enough to quiet the voices that were inches from a full-blown panic. Covering his mouth with his sleeve as the yellow motes swirled around them. Caught in the air. Sticking to skin. Clogging-

"Radek! Where do we go?"

His head spun. He forced himself to blink. Forced himself to focus.

Once. Twice. Again.

Soustřeď se, idiote!

He ripped off his glasses, trying to clean the lens. Pausing when the radio in Katie's hand crackled to life. At first it was mostly static, but soon enough there was a familiar voice.

Teyla?

He grabbed for it. Fingers slipping across the buttons before he gained traction. Teyla had been visiting the mainland for the last week with a small group of botanists. They had no idea what they were coming back to.

"Teyla, this is Doctor Zelenka. Come in."

He looked up at the others ringed around him. Struck by how most of them - no, all of them - appeared unaffected. He frowned. It made no sense. All of them had been in the labs when the first warnings came through. They'd implemented quarantine procedures within minutes. How had he and Rodney been exposed in the first place? Miko? Why just them?

"This is Teyla. We cannot reach anyone. Where is Doctor Weir? Colonel Sheppard?"

He shook his head. Immediately regretting it.

"Too much to explain," he answered, feeling the ridges of the radio catch against the tacky sweat of his palm. "There has been a loss of containment. Everyone has been exposed. Atlantis is- how do you say it? Wrong? Something came back with Cadman's gate team. It appears to be some sort of pollen. Parrish radioed ahead about a discovery. Most of Atlantis is-"

He paused, realizing how insane it sounded. The hesitation felt juvenile. But that didn't stop the fact that he had to say it. Katie caught his eye and nodded. Supportive, but clearly no rescue.

He sighed, smashing his glasses up his nose.

"Those exposed are ah- drawn together. Physically. Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay are...indisposed. Doctor Weir and the gateroom stopped answering an hour ago. It is getting worse here. ...But there's something that might help. A way to bypass the oxygen scrubbers and vent the circulatory system from the exterior ports of the upper city. It won't work immediately, but it's the best option we have right now."

The beat of silence was telling. Then, mercifully-

"I understand, Doctor Zelenka. Tell me what we must do."

He made it as far as he could before he started losing focus. English slurring into Czech then back again. Feeling a strange sort of resistance tug at his insides as he repeated the important parts. That they had to open the exterior ports and restart the air recyclers simultaneously, otherwise-
Katie looked at him worriedly. Mouth pinched in concern.

He shook his head, trying to remember what he'd just been thinking about. It had only just occurred to him. The plan wouldn't be enough- it wouldn't be fast enough unless they could find a way to render the pollen ineffective. Which meant a significant increase or decrease in temperature.

"The botanists-" he rasped, pawing off his glasses as pollen swirled through the recycled air. Thickening everything to the point that it felt like he was trying to breathe through a straw. "Use the jumper's computer to analyze the spores without risking direct contact. Work with Doctor Brown. If we can neutralize the pollen's efficacy, that would-"

The lights flickered, somehow coming back more yellow than blue.

Krásný.

He leaned against the desk they'd made a temporary command center. Vaguely aware it belonged to someone in the Agricultural division. Able to feel himself actively losing the fight as Katie picked up where he trailed off. Somehow able to understand where he was going as Teyla answered an affirmative.

The after-image of Rodney's hand hovering over the button in the main lab made him flinch. Giving him just enough determination to overcome the growing instinct to say nothing. To go find-

"It has to be done at the same time," he rasped. "Simultaneously. The ports. The recyclers. And neutralizing the pollen. Atlantis needs- needs a full reset. The contamination is too powerful to-"

He swallowed hard, unable to finish. He didn't protest when Katie pried his hands off the radio – taking over. If every word had been a fight before, now it felt like he would choke. It was almost as if something was trying to get him to stop. To second guess if this was really what he wanted. If this was the right thing to do after all.

"Doctor Zelenka?"

Of course it was the right thing.

It was his job.

His responsibility.

Then why did it feel so wrong?

"Teyla? Yes. We need to hurry. He's been exposed. Colonel Sheppard said something before McKay opened the door. The pollen. I don't think this is random. We're fine. All of us. But Radek is-"

She is looking for you. Can you feel her?

He looked up slowly. The line of his shoulders slackened, releasing all their tension like a deep exhale. Because this time, the words were not confusing or even vaguely threatening, they were calming. He sucked in a breath. Then another. Tasting the moment on the air. Teyla and Katie's conversation became unimportant - barely a concern over the pleasant slur of warmth that rippled through him the longer he thought about Colonel Sheppard's words.

Because for the first time, he could almost feel it.

Whatever it was that made Rodney press that button,

It was here. So close he could almost understand it.

"Radek, are you alright?"

His eyes snapped up, focusing on the semi-circle of worried faces. Watching Katie's face go through every predicable emotion. Shock. Discomfort. Fear. Pity. Empathy.

"No," he replied, surprising himself by how gentle it sounded. Using what was left of his focus to straighten against the wall. Making a trail through the yellow. Everything fascinatingly fractured. Rodney had looked him dead in the eye before he'd done it. He'd seemed so certain. "No, I am not".

A laugh tumbled out of him. Making the nearest scientists scatter like a clutch of startled cats. Ringing around Doctor Brown like she was the one that could save them. And maybe she would. She was capable. She knew the plan. She-

He cocked his head.

Perhaps two things could exist at once.

That what was happening was okay.

But that eventually, it had to end.

This time the thought didn't weigh a thousand pounds.

Atlantis' lights flickered again, hazing between gold and blue.

Middle ground. S tím by mohl pracovat.

"We need to get to-"

"-the West Pier," Katie continued for him, grabbing her kit. "We can make it."

He trailed behind, herding them towards the nearest transporter. It was larger than those in the main city. Used more for hauling freight. But this time would be big enough to hold all of them at once. He huffed an amused sound. McKay had just been complaining how much power they drew from the zpms. Apparently, they had a use after all. Hopefully he would get the opportunity to rub it in later.
Katie hit the button, bouncing on her heels. Nervous.

The light signaling the arriving transporter blinked. Demanding attention as his vision threatened to double. Feeling it, whatever it was, closing in. He watched as the light flickered yellow, then blue, then something in between. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He wasn't afraid anymore.

The door to the transporter opposite them hushed open without warning.

Oh.

She.

Her.

Elizabeth stared back at him, smiling that smile she gifted to remarkably few as the world cusped. And just like that, like a malfunctioning circuit finally snapping into place, everything made sense.

Katie stepped back, keeping the others behind her as the transporter they'd been waiting for arrived. She looked between them with growing panic. Realizing he wouldn't be coming. That from here on, she would be on her own. Responsible.

Elizabeth had golden streaks woven into her hair.

Půvabný.

He exhaled the last of the tension.

"Go," he clipped. Flaring his hand to get Katie's attention. Unable to look away as Elizabeth stood in the center of the transporter. Haloed in the brightest light. Watching him watch her. "Go. Now."

"Radek..." Katie tried.

There was something in her voice. A promise, perhaps. But it didn't matter anymore. Not when every inch of him recognized Elizabeth in a way that went beyond his ability to express or even understand.

"Rodney was right," he murmured, letting the data pad in his hand clatter to the floor. "Go."

It wasn't until they were alone that he spoke. Knowing her, all of her, as she extended her hand for him to join her. Fingers spaced in such a way he knew it was to make room for his.

"Colonel Sheppard said you were coming."

Her smile went all the way to her eyes. The lines around her mouth promising everything.

"I know."

He didn't have to ask anything else.

Chapter Text

For something that fell apart so quickly, it came back together much the same. Self solving problems weren't the status quo in the Pegasus galaxy, but for two days she fully believed that was exactly what happened.

She overheard a conversation in the following days that resonated. Seeming to encompass everything she was feeling, everything she wasn't admitting too and beyond.

"It isn't a problem, it's a complication. …I just need time."

It started with a vague tickle of awareness. The lingering feeling that she was supposed to be doing something. Looking for someone. It didn't make sense, of course. She'd been in the middle of skimming the initial mission reports from Cadman's team.

She'd been able to push the feeling to the back of her mind. At least until the tickle in the back of her throat turned into a cough. Looking up to see yellow tufts of pollen floating lazily through the air. She remembered extending her hand, eyes tracking a fat spore as it hovered above her head. Intrigued as it dipped down to skim her palm before floating away, caught in an eddy of recycled air.

Chuck was quick to answer her on the radio. Informing her that the biofilters had determined it was normal springtime pollen from Cadman's planet. And while it was unusual it managed to come through, they already had the oxygen scrubbers on it.

She made a mental note to check back in on it later. Adding an addendum to get McKay to send someone to look into boosting the scrubber's efficiency. Otherwise, there'd been no alarm bells. No that growing itch in the back of her mind she couldn't shake.

It was only in retrospect that she remembered Parrish looking up at her. Haloed in that same golden pollen as the Stargate closed behind him. Smile too wide, too beautiful, as he looked up at her with a knowing tilt of his head.

If she were a betting woman, that probably should have been her first clue.

Weeks later she still couldn't account for the time in between. But sometime after returning to her office she switched to combing through personnel feeling only increased the deeper she went. Like the name was on the tip of her tongue.

She remembered swiping a thin layer of pollen off her screen. Trying to see the faces and pounding in her ears as she caught a familiar flash and stopped scrolling. Her fingers stuttered over the face. The name. She must have gone through hundreds of files. But this one? This one was-

Oh.

Oh, yes.

The bone-deep contentment that came after was like a reward.

She was self-aware enough to know there had been a part of her that had been empty. Especially since Simon. But maybe even before. A part that wanted something more. A part that, try as she might, she hadn't been able to fill with work, ambition - even with Atlantis. It had been there, empty but easy to ignore. Until now.

The last conscious memory she had was of feeling out of body as she staggered to her feet. Body strangely liquid as she braced her hands on her desk. Making imprints in the golden dust. Welcoming the ripple of quiet, wanting excitement as it spread through her like a sip of particularly good coffee.

Because, strangely enough, he made all the sense in the world.

And better than that?

She already knew he felt the same way.

"Colonel Sheppard said you were coming."

"I know."

She looked down the length of him as she extended her hand. Encouraging him to join her. Biting at her lower lip in a hungry way she barely recognized. She hadn't felt like this for years. Just the sight of him hard, slacks tenting at the strain, had a long disused part of her roaring.

She could tell he wasn't aware of it. That part hadn't hit him. But she knew. It was the only thing she could breathe, smell, taste. Him. Sex. Want. Life. All of it marinating into one gorgeous perfume.

She smiled when their fingers laced together. Allowing herself to get pulled in by pure inertia when he added a soft tug of his own. A question that didn't need words. Shivering happily when their bodies came together. Rocking gently with a tilt of hips and new angles.

Her fingers firmed around his forearms, holding him there until he followed her eyes down. Unable to help the giddy sound when his breath caught. Suddenly all too aware of how much his body had reacted to hers.

There was even a wet spot seeping through.

Like he'd gone past arousal and started dripping.

How long had he been like this?

The others must have seen. Her blood hummed at the thought. Making it easy to pull him in for a kiss. Brushing lips. Noses. For a long moment it was achingly juvenile, until-

It was him that steadied her. Bracing their gravity with his hand on the small of her back, allowing the kiss to connect fully. A humid press of lips and tongue that had the aftertaste of springtime.

"Potřebuji..." he whispered, kissing down her neck. Murmuring a litany of broken English. "I need... I want..."

She nodded.

Yes. Yes.

The lights in the transporter flickered when her back thumped against the wall. Bathing them in gold as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Biting off a kiss that made him groan. The difference in heights was an open calculation. Feeling him work it out in real time before his hand flailed against the wall. Pressing at a stretch of empty panel before a happy beep issued and a ledge extended from the wall. Expanding until it was wide enough to hold a-

There was an open smirk on his face when he lifted her onto it. Equalizing their heights in such a perfect way she was tempted to wonder if Atlantis had made it happen or if the panel had always been there.

Either way, she'd always enjoyed watching him work.

She shimmied out of her pants and underwear while he worked on his own. Pant legs getting stuck as they pooled around his boots. Making her tip her head back and laugh. Thickening the air with something more than sex and gold, something that felt lasting and real.

Because what took her out was the ordinary, comfortable glory of it all.

It was Radek standing half-naked in front of her, cock bouncing heavily off his stomach. It was the way he smiled when she reached up and took off his glasses. Folding them carefully as he blinked near-sightedly at her. Every motion and reaction, physical, chemical or otherwise decidedly mutual.

She could easily get lost in the details.

But ironically, it was him that reminded her why her blood was singing.

His hand traced the curve of her hip. Kissing her again before standing back. Looking at her with far more self-control than he should have.

"Elizabeth..." he rasped, "Můžu? Yes?"

Her hand reached down. Enjoying the fractured hiss when she palmed his cock. Embracing the humidity. She couldn't help but tip her face back, cheeks hot, when he brushed the thatch of curls that crowned her opening. Feeling pleasure pool in her belly at the hungry sound that left him. The sound was her only warning before the pad of his fingers slicked down her cunt. Finding her clit and immediately setting to work.

Jesus.

"Shit," Radek grunted, nose trailing up her neck. Kissing every inch before ripping himself away again. Kneeling abruptly – sliding in the pollen – as the fingers in her cunt pressed deeper. Curling. "Pro mě tak mokré..."

The wail that left her echoed when he found her g-spot. Deft fingers taking over as he covered the hand clenching around the ledge with his own. Encouraging her to move as he spread her lower lips, clit bumping his nose. Wet, hot and open to him as he buried his tongue in her cunt.

Of course he was good at this. Of course.

"Oh my god- ohhh!"

She hitched her hips into his face without thinking.

He groaned loudly. Pushing his erection into her calf. In any other situation, it might have looked pathetic. But it wasn't. It was a memory that was going to be burned into her brain for the rest of her life. Knowing he wanted her more than anything. Rational thought wasn't just a pipe dream, it was impossible. Replaced with need and want and yes.

Somewhere behind them, the transporter door hissed open.

There was a muffled sound.

Unimportant words.

The smell of sex.

Then the sound of the door wheezing closed again.

She came, thighs squeezing around his head, to the echo of a teetering laugh.

Radek didn't look up until they were alone again.

"Elizabeth," he panted, looking up at her with those blue eyes. Saliva and her dripping from the corner of his mouth. Soaked with yellow-tinted sunshine. "Elizabeth."

It took far too long for her to remember she'd started this with his cock in her hand.

She grinned, feeling the smile stretch as she looked down at him. Breasts heaving as the high from her orgasm crested- then stretched. Flooding through her until she felt like she could come again if he would just-

"Radek!"

When he finally pressed inside her, biting off a string of Czech and broken English, she was struck by the rightness of it. Letting her head tip back as she moved with him. Hungry. Feeling him inside her as his hips snapped quick and desperate. Knowing, without a fraction of a doubt, that when this was all over, she would never be able to go back to the status quo.

She came again, seconds after he did. Holding him fiercely as he rubbed his face into her stomach. Spreading sweat and slick heat as the frantic beat of his heart refused to slow. Already feeling his cock beginning to harden as the wet squelch of their pleasure echoed in the close space.

Admittedly, the feeling only condensed after that.

Chapter Text

"- in the end, it was Doctor Zelenka's plan, carried out by Doctor Brown and the remaining science department that made it possible. We were able to eradicate the pollen by raising the temperature of the main city, then venting and restarting the air recyclers as one. Everyone worked together. Otherwise, we wouldn't have succeeded."

She finished speaking with a lilt that felt forcibly positive, even to her.

The silence that followed was a living thing.

Everyone's reactions, showing or not, said volumes.

She looked around the table with caution. She had chosen her words carefully. Taking pains to consider the emotions involved as more than half of the people at the table could not, or would not, meet her gaze.

The last flew days had been...challenging. Returning the city to normal and respecting the privacy of those who had been affected had been a delicate matter.

"I know there is an update regarding the pollen itself," she continued, nodding encouragingly to Doctor Beckett when no one made a move to speak.

Carson cleared his throat. Obviously wanting to be anywhere else despite the heated looks Ronon was shooting him from across the table. Looks, she knew, meant that Ronon would be carting him off somewhere private at the earliest opportunity. Having gleefully shared his exploits more than once since the three of them had been successfully pulled apart.

It was information she did not wish to know, but was amused by regardless.

Personally, she was impressed Ronon was willing to share.

And Cadman wasn't subtle with her affections, even before the pollen.

She tamped down a small smile as she considered it.

Perhaps they would keep themselves busy, at the very least.

"Alright, the short of it is, we have isolated the genome. The thing is... it wasn't indiscriminate. As we suspected, it seems to have- compatibility seems to have had a role. Around half of the city was affected, perhaps a bit more. We are still doing check-ins but the anonymous consensus is that every- er- couple, throuple, etc... could admit that the person or persons they were drawn to wasn't completely surprising. Everyone affected had some level of- connection, attraction or interest in who they partnered with."

The silence stretched again, until-

"In short," Shepard said with a small zing of sarcasm. Exhaustion punched deep under his eyes.

It was weak, as far as opposition went.

Carson's eye twitched.

And, as if it were a call for aid-

"What he's saying is the people who were drawn together make sense. It might have happened because the pollen, but it wasn't out of nothing. It was already there," Ronon grunted. Eying Rodney and John meaningfully.

'Attraction,' she added silently. 'Love.'

She had kept her opinions to herself, but that was what she was left with.

The pollen had been the reason it happened, not why it'd happened.

Parrish coughed, flushing when everyone's attention fell on him.

But the silence didn't last long.

Elizabeth leaned forward. Palms braced on the table for a long moment before removing them. As if the posture might give away something she didn't wish to share.

"Thank you, Teyla, Doctor Brown," she replied, voice crisp and steady. "It looks like the city was in good hands. I think I can speak for everyone when I say we're deeply grateful."

Doctor Zelenka shifted in his seat, eyes flicking from Elizabeth to the data pad in front of him. It took a long smattering of beats before he looked up again. Just missing the furtive glance Elizabeth sent him before Doctor Brown spoke.

"Doctor Weir, I was wondering if - in light of everything that happened - we could green light a number of projects the Botany department have put forward? Time is of the essence for a number of them. Particularly the one headed by Doctor Parrish. It would provide valuable data to compare the oxygen composition of the air quality for the-"

Her attention drifted as the conversation shifted to more complicated matters. Using the moment to observe the room without being obvious.

The tension between the would-be couples was deeply apparent. But not all of it was conflicted. If Parrish and Lorne - and indeed Ronon and Doctor Beckett - were to be believed, some were decidedly... amiable. For example, Lorne and Doctor Parrish had arrived together, eyes sparkling with obvious interest before they collected themselves and sat on opposite sides of the table. Leaving no doubt that their experience with the pollen had made them deeply happy.

"Alright, I think we can end this meeting here, then," Doctor Weir interjected. "Doctor Brown, you have the go ahead to get your projects off the ground. Priority given to studying the effects of the pollen going forward. Unless anyone has anything to add?"

She leaned back in her chair, eyes narrowing as Rodney and John filed out of the room before anyone else. Their directions couldn't have been more opposite. Privately wondering if John had meant to go down the corridor to Aeroponics. While watching Rodney inexplicably skulk off in the direction of the armory.

The urge to roll her eyes had never been more tempting.

Still, John and Rodney were not the only ones left to navigate the aftermath.

She watched as Ronon and Doctor Beckett got coincidentally caught in the doorway. Using the excuse to talk quietly. Able to guess the subject by how ruddy the Doctor's neck became. Parrish and Lorne slipped out without comment. Hands brushing if anyone cared to look closely.

Her eyebrow twitched when John and Rodney appeared in the main corridor. Almost running into each other in their haste to return to familiar ground. There was a tense moment when they shared space. Looking at each other furtively before saying something clipped. Whatever it was had Rodney's mouth downturned and flat. While John's expression remained forcibly blank. There was a moment of weight – no words - before they went their separate ways. John to the Armory and Rodney to the labs.

The sympathy she had for the emotions they were going through had started to cool over the last few days. While she had her opinions, she could admit to being frustrated. They had been given the answer to the question they hadn't even asked, and they were still choosing to turn away from it.

However, all hope was not lost.

Because Doctor Zelenka and Doctor Weir had lingered. Finding herself unable to suppress a smile as they made an effort out of gathering their things and pushing in their chairs. Meeting each other's eyes not once, but twice. They didn't say anything. Not yet. But they did leave through the same door at the same time. Zelenka five steps behind her as if they were keeping the option open to turn around until the last possible moment.

It made her think of how she found them.

Doctor Brown led them to the freight transporter when the decontamination protocols were on their second cycle. Those who were unaffected had already started locating and treating those in need. But it quickly became apparent that no one knew where Doctor Weir and Doctor Zelenka were. The surveillance cameras had been covered with pollen. But when she put the call over the radio after she'd located John and Rodney, Doctor Brown had radioed her privately.

She'd entered the transporter carefully. Cautiously stepping over abandoned clothing and shoes. They were still unconscious, tangled together on the floor. Just like John, Rodney, and almost every couple she'd come across once the city was safe to enter again. Naked and unashamed. She checked their vitals, relieved to find them strong, as Doctor Adams set up a set of triage . Working to get fluids and nutrients back into their bodies as quickly as possible.

But it had been what Doctor Zelenka had done next that had remained with her.

His first instinct when they'd stirred had been to curl over her. Protecting her privacy at the expense of his own. He'd blinked up at them with eyes that didn't focus. Exhausted, but still with enough of himself to think of her first.

He'd murmured something in his language. Confused, drawn out syllables that matched the hollows under his eyes. Cock soft against Elizabeth's thigh as he tucked her behind him. Showing his teeth as he refused to allow them any closer. Heart rate slowly picking up until she nodded at Doctor Adams and a sedative was added to his I.V. Hushing him back to sleep as guilt overtook embarrassment and Doctor Brown hurried over with blankets. Telling her in hushed tones it had been Radek who had figured it out. Radek who had gotten them to the transporters. Keeping them together. Focused. He'd stayed with them until the end. Until-

The first words Doctor Weir had uttered when she woke up weren't for Atlantis.

They were for him.

And that meant something.

She remained sitting at the table for a long time. Mulling over the last week as the hum of Atlantis carried on around her. Blue and familiar. There was no sign of the yellow pollen, but she felt its presence, nonetheless.

In the end, she had faith things would work out the way they were supposed to.

She just hoped they would all have the patience to let it come as it needed too.

Chapter Text

Rodney found him at the pier.

"I brought beer," Rodney offered, speaking to his back as the whisper of plastic against aluminum issued over the ocean waves.

He cocked his head. Waiting for a beat until he knew Rodney had seen it before replying.

"Well, then I guess you can stay."

He'd been aiming for cocky, or at the very least unaffected. But it came out strangled instead.

Rodney didn't call him on it. Just settling down beside him and handing him a warm beer. Looking at the same waves he'd been staring at for the last three hours. Maybe more.

He almost wished he would.

The teasing would have meant things were normal.

"How are Radek and Miko?" he asked after a moment. Cracking open his beer with the same easy flair Rodney did a half-second later. So close to being in sync it was almost jarring.

Rodney huffed. The sound somewhere between annoyed and fond. Making him smile into the dark like any other reflex.

"On a first date, apparently," Rodney explained. Lips slinging around the mouth of his beer in a way that made his free hand clench. "Miko, I mean."

"Nice," he offered. Distracted, but genuine.

"I have to admit they're disgustingly good together," Rodney continued, flicking at the tab of his beer. "It's like watching a weirder version of Parrish and Lorne. Minus all the PDA they think we haven't seen. Honestly, I can't believe those two kept a lid on it until now. Even I could see the moon eyes they were giving each other – for what? Six months?"

He snorted.

Lorne had come by it honestly. That much he was sure of. He'd been the one who'd pared them together in the first place. Parrish had been enthusiastic for fieldwork, and he figured Lorne could do with being taken down a peg. The guy might end up doing most of his paperwork, but that didn't give him license to comment on how he handled-

Huh.

He coughed, covering an awkward hiccup as the train of thought threatened to go towards more than a few dangerous places. Lorne had made some lighthearted comments about him and McKay being attached at the hip. And- well, given their current circumstances he hadn't been wrong.

"Radek is-"

He waited for a handful of beats when Rodney trailed off. Expression conflicted - like he was trying to decide how much to say before taking another sip of his beer and saying nothing.

"Yeah," he returned. Because he got it.

"How is Elizabeth?" Rodney asked.

This time it was his turn to overthink into silence.

"Yeah," Rodney echoed. Knee knocking into his once - twice - before stilling. "Figured."

He'd been out of commission when they'd found them. But he'd heard about it later. He'd read the reports. Neck burning in second hand embarrassment. Keenly aware that Elizabeth had already read his own account. And Radek- well, Radek had fucking been there.

He shuddered. Still fighting the urge to claim it had been a group hallucination or a hyper realistic dream. The alternative was knowing Zelenka had watched him and Rodney fu-

He exhaled a plume of white into the dark. Leaning into the hunch of Rodney's shoulders only slightly. If anyone asked, it was to duck out of the wind. But he knew better. He knew a lot of things he hadn't known about Rodney a few days ago.

The Pegasus galaxy could never just be normal. It had to have life force sucking vampire aliens, sex pollen and- whatever was coming next.

"Honestly, I think they might figure it out. Elizabeth asked for someone to investigate boosting the oxygen scrubbers. Turns out the control panel is in her office. So, I sent him up to deal with it," Rodney admitted, picking some fluff off his coat. Wide lips quirking in the corners.

He couldn't help but toss his head back and laugh.

Honest.

Real.

It seemed like a trend with Rodney lately.

"You sent Radek?"

"Yup," Rodney answered. Popping the 'p' in a way that should have been obnoxious but ended up coming out fond. "Hours ago. Haven't heard from him since."

"Nice," he hummed, draining half his beer in one go.

"It's either going to go bad or- well, good?" Rodney offered. Trailing off like he'd meant it as a question but changed his mind half-way through.

He didn't have to wonder why.

What did good look like without the pollen, exactly?

And did he want to find out?

The answer came without even a stutter.

Hell yeah, he did.

He drank the rest of his beer in one go. Feeling Rodney's eyes on him the entire time.

"Look," he started, trying not to sound as wobbly as he felt. Trying to manifest some of the surety he'd felt when his feet had taken him right to Rodney. When he'd stared at him through the containment glass and just felt- whole. "I'm not good at this..."

Rodney huffed. Exasperated, but clearly grateful they'd broached the first hurdle. Not realizing how much he'd gone tense until Rodney sagged into him. He could almost taste the relief. Even when Rodney straightened and pulled away.

"You aren't the only one."

They were quiet for a while before he continued. As much as he wanted to use any excuse to shy away from the heavy stuff, this was too important. There was too much riding on this and he was done half-assing the things he wanted. Done pretending he wasn't- he hadn't been hopelessly gone on Rodney for years. Especially now that he knew the feeling was mutual and-

"What do you want to do?" he asked instead. Swallowing everything else, for now.

But Rodney was annoyingly, amazingly himself. And was naturally already there. If not a couple steps ahead of him.

"I think we could continue lying to each other… and ourselves," Rodney said bluntly. Turning towards him in a soft way that did something vulnerable to the angles of his face. Something he wanted to take for himself or try and capture somehow. Anything to keep it close. "Or..."

The tension in his chest had already started to bleed out. Making it easy to thud his shoulder into Rodney's. A shit-eating grin already making tracks as Rodney huffed a mirroring sound.

"Or?" he prompted. Setting his can to the side as Rodney drained the rest of his beer.

"Or," Rodney affirmed. Like it explained everything.

And honestly, it sort of did.

"I like or," he offered. Cupping the back of his neck as he fought the instinctual urge to tuck himself away. To protect himself from what happened every time he let himself hope that things could be different. That he could have this. That he could be happy. "I don't know if I'm going to be any good at it. But I'm here. I want to be here."

Rodney looked at him for the first time since he'd sat down. Staring at him with an expression he could never hope to untangle before hope and relief mixed together. Collapsing into a wide smile.

"Yeah, me too."

As far as confessions went, it should have been lack-luster.

But for some reason, the normal simplicity of it meant more.

It sounded like something Rodney would say.

And he was saying it to him.

That made it everything.

He exhaled audibly. He felt like he'd lived seven lives since Rodney had shown up. But he also felt lighter somehow. The truth was, he knew what he wanted. And he'd wanted whatever he could have of Rodney for a long time, way before the pollen. Admitting that to himself had come after. Separating the two had taken days. Existing with it felt more like an old friend than a stranger. He'd gone to the pier because, more than anything, he wanted somewhere to-

"I expected this to be..." Rodney started.

"Worse?" he offered, catching on mid-laugh as Rodney leaned in this time. Shoulder to shoulder with neither of them making any move to pull away.

"Honestly, yeah," Rodney admitted, warm and solid against him.

It could have been worse. Way worse.

Maybe it should have been, considering the circumstances.

But it hadn't.

It wasn't.

And hell if he wasn't grateful.

It wasn't often that they got to have good things.

They opened their mouths at the same time. Only to stop when they realized it. Restarting the awkward dance of who would let go of the next emotional landmine.

"Go ahead," he urged, still chuckling. Only to lose it even more when Rodney shook his head, hands flapping.

"No, no- you first."

The silence was golden.

Metaphorically speaking.

Rodney's chin dipped into his chest, chuckles turning into a full on laugh he couldn't help but get in on. Leaving them there, feet hanging off the pier, laughing into the wind like the rest of their lives wasn't at stake.

"God," Rodney hitched, still laughing. "No one even seems surprised."

"Are you?" he asked curiously. Mind immediately going to Teyla's pointed looks. To the way Ronon had stared them down during the meeting. Elizabeth hadn't batted an eye when they'd talked privately. Rather, it was the way she'd said it: "are you and Rodney doing okay?" that stayed with him. The assumption that even after everything, there was still going to be a 'him and Rodney.'

"Yes," Rodney said immediately, before- "…also, no."

His voice was hoarse this time.

"Why?"

For a long, horrible moment he thought Rodney wasn't going to answer. Unable to stop himself from catastrophizing what was probably one of the hardest things either of them would ever have to say.

"Because- before we knew about the pollen, before you got there, I wanted to open the door," Rodney murmured. "And…because it still feels like it did before. It's the same. The pollen didn't do that. That was us. Just us."

Rodney's face was so close to his he could feel the shake in the final exhale. He wasn't sure when he'd moved. Maybe they'd moved. But as the moment stretched, he couldn't help but silently agree. It was the reason he was out here in the first place. Trying to figure out how to say what he'd known implicitly from the moment Rodney had opened the door. The pollen had been the reason it happened then, not the reason it happened.

So, maybe it was because of exactly that, just when he was sure one of them was about fall back on old habits, that he leaned in and kissed him.

And just like the first time, Rodney didn't hesitate. Kissing him back with a hungry lisp that made his toes curl in his boots. Call him what you want, but that was better than anything. Better than the pollen. Better than any type of gold as Rodney's hands got grabby and started to tug athis any skin he could reach.

Rodney refused to let him go. Even when gravity threatened to topple them off the pier. Even when Rodney's lips caught on the stubble-rash he'd woken up with in the infirmary and nearly made him whine.

And he couldn't help but go all in.

It wasn't like they hadn't done stupider things together.

Besides, he'd take getting wet if it meant he had an excuse to keep Rodney to himself just a little bit longer.

Chapter Text

"Ah, Doctor Weir? Rodney sent me to look at the oxygen scrubbers?"

She closed her eyes. Letting the muted light condense before opening them again. Turning around the greet him as Radek stood in the door frame. Looking every bit himself, with his data pad and a tool kit. Hair wisping every which way as he pushed his glasses up his nose. Giving no sign that this was anything more than a routine maintenance call.

It was his eyes that gave him away.

If she let herself linger on it, they always had.

Despite telling Rodney it wasn't a priority; she wasn't as surprised as she should have been when Radek showed up as she started reading Doctor Adam's report. Fighting to keep her face blank as the Radek standing in the door frame and the Radek from the freight transporter – the one who'd looked at her and known her – threatened to become interchangeable.

She should have known better.

Rodney wasn't exactly known for having good timing.

"I'm sorry, this could have waited," she admitted, rising to her feet as he took a cautious step inside. Uncertain of his welcome but obviously wanting to try. It made her want to say something, anything to make this part easier. Instead, she started babbling. "There isn't a problem exactly. But I wanted to look into boosting the oxygen scrubbers efficiency. If this happened once, it could happen again. Next time, we should be ready for it."

Radek was already nodding before she could finish.

"Not at all. It was on our list, but there has been too much priority work," he answered, clicking away at his data pad before realizing what he said could have been misconstrued. "Ah. Not that this isn't a priority- but, yes…yes- I should be able to boost the output by at least…thirty-seven percent to start."

She smiled, every inch incurably genuine.

"How can I help?"

He opened his mouth and somehow, she knew exactly what he was about to say.

'Stay out if my way. …Please.'

Only he closed his mouth before the words could make tracks. Throat working through an obvious swallow as he looked at her fully for the first time. Openly taking her in as she did the same. Letting the moment breathe.

"Actually, I could use another set of hands," he told her, voice slightly husky. Rough in a way she wasn't used to hearing from anyone, let alone him.

A coil of warmth curled in the pit of her belly.

The sensation so close to pleasure it threatened to make her shiver.

The smile she gave him in return was different from anything from the freight elevator or the days afterwards. It was completely new. Completely his. And the best part was that he knew it too. It was all there in the way he almost tripped over his own feet when he knelt beside the access panel. Looking up at her with such an open, hopeful expression that the desire to be equal to it was completely overwhelming.

"Let's get to work."

It was there, on their hands and knees, with beeping data pads, and Radek holding a section of wiring between his teeth that they reintroduced themselves. Finding herself unable to stop smiling as Radek wedged himself deeper into the access panel, occasionally demanding a tool from his bag she couldn't have named if she tried. Quietly hashing out how a complication – not a problem – could turn into a peaceful evening in her quarters with a bottle of wine and the start of something happily, delightfully new.

Maybe Rodney had good timing after all.