Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As a child of parents who are servants of the Matsuno estate, one of the most prominent yakuza families has its perks, one is having a roof under your head and good meals because of your generous employers. As long as you do your work competently, you're fine. You had protection, job security, special privileges, and financial security. Another is that you’re the only child within the estate that is the same age as the sextuplet brothers.

Your parents came to Japan having fled from your home country after some problems arose and hoped for a fresh start, only to be in debt in the first few months. Your parents did everything they could to bounce back, even worked harder and took out loans once they found out they were having you. Fortunately, that opportunity came when your father helped Matsuzō Matsuno from bleeding out in an alley, he exchanged that kindness in giving them a place to live and work in their estate as servants. Honestly, it was good enough for them and once you were born and old enough, you were the sextuplets designated playmate.

It was nice, the boys gave you delicious food, toys to play with and pretty clothes, they sometimes fought over who gets to play with you more and get into competitions, it got so bad that their mother had to break them up herself. But you would always try to spend an equal amount of time with them even when one brother demanded more time, you always try to remind them they're all equally important and you don’t want one to feel left out. It was especially important since most people can’t tell them apart unless they say anything or wear color coordinated outfits. You remember the sextuplets pranked the entire organization by wearing the same outfits, hairstyles and speaking in the same way, their parents ended up writing their names on their foreheads for a whole week. You were the only one within the organization who can tell them apart besides their parents.

 

Totoko sometimes comes over as the Yowai clan is business partner and she’s also a good friend, you and Totoko were introduced when the sextuplets were grounded for toying with their father’s katana and since they couldn’t entertain her, your parents let you do it, you two instantly hit it off . You and her often play dress up and just hang out together when you two had enough of the boys, she treated you like a sister as her older brother was always busy and away for long periods of time, she would always complain about the brothers and wished you lived with her.

So far, life was good, but as you grew up things started to change.

Totoko has been visiting the Matsuno estate less and less to the point her visits are rare, you two still talk and text but you sometimes would rather talk to her in person. She’s been seeing Nyaa, one of the Yowai clan’s secretaries.

The sextuplets, who were infatuated with Totoko since childhood, turned their attention to you, they showered you with affection, bought you gifts and spent more time with you. Each brother has a scheduled day to be with you, such as; Mondays are with Choromatsu, Tuesdays are with Jyushimatsu, Wednesdays are with Karamatsu, Thursdays are with Todomatsu, Fridays are with Ichimatsu, Saturdays are with Osomatsu and Sundays are usually when you spend time for yourself or with group dates with the brothers.

 

At first you were happy, you had a crush on them growing up but shoved those feelings at the back as they chased after Totoko, you wanted them to be happy even when it hurt a bit. So this was a wonderful surprise and you thought they finally fell in love with you but there’s still an underlying feeling that this was too good to be true, and that feeling became valid when you overheard them one night.

You were heading to the kitchen for a midnight snack, you were about to pass the living room when you heard the sextuplets. You were to keep walking when you heard your name, normally you don’t eavesdrop but something compelled you to listen.

At first it was just saying how great you were and how lucky they were to have you, it made you blush to hear such praise but then came comparing you to Totoko. It was the small things, like how you knew which brothers favorite foods and how they like their coffee, and how you always took care of them. You found it weird to see how they’re comparing you to Totoko, even when the brothers are painting you in a better light.

Finally, this happened.

“In a way.” Choromatsu started. “Totoko being with Nyaa has been a blessing in disguise.*

What?

The sextuplets talked about how when Totoko first started to drift away from them, how sad and hurt they were to see her go but when you came to comfort them is what made them fall for you.

“I still wondered if we tried harder, Totoko would finally acknowledge us. Eh, too late for that, we got (Y/N), it would be a waste to think about it.” Osomatsu mused.

The warmth that bloomed in your chest immediately turned to ice.

Hah, you should have known. There’s no way they could move on from Totoko without something happening to her first, and you’ll always be the second choice.

The laughter and casual conversation continued, but you couldn’t hear it anymore. It was all muffled, drowned out by the deafening thump of your own heartbeat in your ears.
You clenched your fists, nails digging into your palms.

How long had they felt this way? How long had you been settling for borrowed love?

Your legs felt weak as you stepped away from the wall, retreating quietly before they could notice you. The kitchen was no longer your destination. Your appetite was gone.
—----------------------------------------------

The past few days were tiring as you kept the charade of still being in love with them, as each time the brother showered you with love it felt fake and sometimes made you back away from them. The sextuplets, especially Ichimatsu and Todomatsu, would stare at you with unreadable expressions when you did it, making you internally panic and wondering if they knew you eavesdropped. But they go back to loving you.

After three months, you worked up the courage to ask Matsuyo and Matsuzō if you can leave. You approached them in the living room when the sextuplets were out of the house, after you explained why, surprisingly, they agreed to your request and even helped you move.

“Though I am sad to see you go, dear.” The matriarch admitted. “My foolish sons need a lesson in appreciating what’s right in front of them.*

“Hopefully this will open their eyes.” Matsuzō added.

So behind the scenes Matsuyo and Matsuzō helped you book a ticket back to your home country and a comfy apartment. They picked the perfect day for your flight, it was when the brothers went out of the city for a deal that lasted for two weeks. They gave you enough money to last six months, which you tried to give some back but they wouldn’t let you.

“It's the least we can do, dear.” Matsuyo said.

It broke your heart to leave them, they loved you as you were their own, but they also knew you being in the estate will just give you more heartache.

It’s been two years since you left. You worked in a modest bakery, and enjoyed your time there. The pay is good, your boss is lovely, your co- workers are kind and you’re all allowed to bring home treats for free when no one else wants to buy them.

So all in all, life was looking up for you.

You were in front to manning the register, normally you would be working in the back but Kimi got a stomach flu and you offered to stand in. You were counting the change when the doorbell chimed, you looked up. It was a newcomer, he was fairly young, about your age, and was scanning the display with interest, before looking at you.

 

“Oh, sorry.” He let out a small laugh. “I didn’t see.”

“It’s alright.” You offered a smile, to which he returned.

“Could you recommend some things? I’m new here and I’m not sure what to eat.”

“Of course.*

You launched into your recommendations, highlighting their signature pistachio rose macarons, dark chocolate truffles infused with raspberry liqueur, and the ever-popular caramel éclairs. The young man seemed genuinely impressed by them and you could see the slight drool on his face, which he hurriedly wiped off. He took a seat at one of the booths and quietly enjoyed his meal while you began to entertain customers.

It was 20 minutes before he came back and asked for the same pastries to go.

“They were really good. Best I had in my life.” He admitted.

You chuckled as you handed him the bag and waved him out.

 

Once he was out of sight and hearing range, he pulled out his phone and dialed a number, it took two rings until the phone was picked up.

“Sir, I found her.”

Chapter Text

When the sextuplets returned back to the Matsuno estate after two weeks they were safe to say were… irritated, the meeting itself went well as both sides agreed to each other’s terms, but it was after during their free time. Their host provided them prostitutes for some comfort to which they denied, saying they had you waiting at home and these girls were a waste of their time. One of the host’s low ranking thugs made a snide joke that they have to get tired of you sometime. Osomatsu asked to buy him off with a generous amount of money which the host agreed, only for Osomatsu to shoot the thug in the balls, forehead and heart.

 

Now that they’re back, all they thought about was having dinner and cuddling you, maybe a gangbang to destress. They missed you; missed your touch, your scent, your gaze, your voice and the way you felt under their touch. That piece of shit’s words ignited their anger again, you’re perfect they understand now; you are the one, the only one they want to spend the rest of their lives with.

Jyushimatsu excitedly knocked on your door, waited for a few minutes and knocked again.

“Y/N?” The fifth eldest called but no reply.

 

They opened your room but you weren’t there, everything in your room was untouched. Ichimatsu came in to inspect your desk closer, he brushed a finger and noticed a good amount of dirt formed, like it hadn't been cleaned in weeks.

“The servants are either getting lazy.” Ichimatsu started. “Or something happened to her.”

“Get me one of the servants.” Osomatsu told one of their men, who nodded and quickly walked away.

They waited in the living room when one of their men brought them in, when they asked where you were their hesitance spoke volumes. Ichimatsu demanded to tell them where you were but they slowly replied that you were gone.

“It seems you forgot your place.” Choromatsu said coldly. “We expect our staff to have absolute loyalty, lying is your death sentence.”

They quickly bowed low in apology but frantically said they were telling the truth, you were gone from the estate with their parents permission. Osomatsu scoffed and barked for one of their men to hold them down while the six of them personally searched for you.

They checked the kitchen, the bathrooms, toilet rooms, the garden, the library, the meeting room, the servants quarters (they nearly foamed in the mouth at the thought of you enjoying company that wasn’t theirs or approved of), the storage room, the training grounds, their rooms, their secret sex dungeon they made for you when you act bratty and back to your room. But still no sign of you.

When they regrouped back to the living room they found their parents sitting down, Matsuyo dismissed the servant when she and her husband came in and sat on the couch.

“Boys.” She greeted them, their father nodded at them.

 

“Mother, Father.” Karamatsu began. “We can’t find Y/N, the servants said she left, but that notion is imposs-

“We know.” She cut him off. “We were the ones who helped her leave.”

A thick suffocating silence, the brothers stared at parents mouths agape, their faces were a mixture of outrage and betrayal at the revelation. Osomatsu clenched his fists so hard blood was threatening to form, Karamatsu was at loss for words as he look between their parents, Choromatsu was close to popping a vein and about to snap until he remembered who they were, Ichimatsu just stared at their parents bristling like feral cat, Jyushimatsu stopped smiling and his eyes turned cat like, and Todomatsu was close to exploding, but like Choromatsu he kept it in reminding himself these are his parents and they are above him.

 

Matsuyo and Matsuzō for their part stared impassively at their sons, they waited for their sons anger to subside, they watched them breathe heavily to push down their anger, but they eventually calmed down.

“Why?” Osomatsu started, his eyes flashing slightly. “Why did you let her leave?”

“She overheard you just settled with her. ” Matsuzō revealed.

The brothers collectively froze.

“She…What?” Todomatsu breathed, this couldn’t be happening.

Matsuyo sighed. “She told us she went to get a snack one night and overheard you fools, at first it was you saying she was better than Totoko. Then one of you said it was a blessing in disguise that Totoko was with some else.” Her eyes coldly settled to Osomatsu and Choromatsu, they flinched.

“She also heard if you boys tried hard enough Totoko would finally acknowledge you but now you had (Y/N) it would be a waste of time to think about it.”

“Mom, please. We didn’t mean it like that.” The eldest pleaded. “It was meant like an epiphany, like we should have realized we should have gone to her than Totoko.”

“You still made her feel like she was a choice.” She pointed out. “If you really loved she was never an option in the first place.”

That silenced them.

 

It was true they only began to be with you after Totoko had someone else in her life, they had a stupid puppy crush because she was pretty and their childhood friend despite you were too, maybe it was her confidence or how she can command her father’s subordinates better than her brother despite of her age. To them, she was the perfect yakuza boss’s wife and hoped to marry her, until they got older some of their desires shifted a bit and began to notice you.

You grew up beautifully, while Totoko was amazingly cute, there was a certain elegance and allure to you that was similar to classic Hollywood, you were absolutely timeless. They see it when they spend more time with you, how you know even the smallest things about them, how to calm them down and cheer them up and vice versa.

Not even Totoko can compare to you, hell you were more beautiful than Totoko with your wonderful personality, compared to Totoko’s narcissistic and general bitchiness, but to be fair; most of that was because they lusted after her and she had no room for their stupidity.

No matter how much they try to deny it, that they truly loved you from the bottom of their hearts; they settled for you because their first love chose someone else, and now it left a disgusting taste in their mouths.

“You boys better not try anything.” Matsuzō warned. “We know you well enough, you idiots will try to shut down this entire city to look for her, and before you ask; no we will not help you.”

The sparked a chorus of indignation but stopped when their mother gave them a steel cold glare.

“This for your own good and for hers, it’s clear you boys need to be taught a lesson to cherish the things that were in front of you-”

“We did-” Jyushimatsu started but clammed up at their parents narrowed their eyes on him. He quickly looked down and stayed silent.

“And for her to heal whatever emotional wounds she has. It entirely depends on her if she wishes to come back, but for her sake I hope she stays far away from you six.”

The brothers felt another wave of indignation, they couldn’t believe their parents were doing this. Then again, they always treated you like their own child, even better than them.

“This is your only warning: Do not pursue her, let her heal on her own and if even hear a lick of you boys harassing her there will be consequences.” The brothers shrunk under her warning glare, daring them to do anything.

The Matriarch and Patriarch of the Matsuno clan finally rose up and exited the living room, leaving their sons to process information and the emotions swirling within them.

You left them, you willingly left your lovers because you overheard their idiotic words. The others were so tempted to beat their eldest and third brothers up as it was their fault their stupid mouths blurted everything for you to hear but they knew they couldn’t. One is that they know it won’t bring you back and the second is that Osomatsu is still their older brother and heir to the clan, he has power over them and Choromatsu has too much dirt on them.

Osomatsu for his part wanted to scream and disregard his parents' warning to hunt you down until you returned to them. He’s so fucking furious; at you for deceiving them then leaving, at his brothers for not seeing the signs and at himself for bringing up so meaningless that night, they should have just fuck you. You're theirs damn it! You were supposed to marry them and have their children.

He was about to storm out to initiate a city wide search when he felt someone hardly tugging his arm back, growling and he whipped his head to find Todomatsu giving him a leveled stare.

“Let go, Totty.” The eldest growled.

Todomatsu chose to ignore the anger, instead he spoke in a calm controlled voice. “Listen, we’re all pissed and blame ourselves for making her leave. Mostly you and Fappy…”

 

Choromatsu bristled. “OI-”

“But we have to go about this carefully. If mom and dad heard you trying to find her like a bloodhound who knows what they’ll do.”

“They could arrange for you to be married to someone else.” Ichimatsu chimed in.

Osomatsu balked at the idea, no one can compare to you, he wanted to fight him, but he knows his youngest brother is right. The red matsu huffed and pulled his arm away from the third eldest but calmed. Choromatsu suggested they all go to their rooms as it’s been a long day and they need some rest to plan better, which they agreed.

 

The next day their meeting was put on hold for Totoko’s unexpected arrival. Neither brother wanted to attend but they knew better than to turn her away especially if it’s something important, they found her waiting in the meeting room sipping tea. Sure enough she came to give a report on her family’s transfer of weapons and other goods in place of her older brother as he had another meeting in Kyoto.

As they wrapped things up, what Totoko said next made them freeze.

“I know (Y/N) left and honestly? Thank god she did.” Totoko sighed in relief. “She deserved better than you losers.”

Osomatsu stared at her in disbelief. “You…You knew she left?”

"Of course." She set her cup down. "Whenever we have tea I keep telling her to find someone better than you guys cause let's face it, you don't deserve her. I even sometimes show her pictures of guys to see if she finds them attractive enough."

The betrayal and fury the brothers had for their parents felt like a matchstick compared to the raging inferno they had for their childhood friend/former crush. The faces made must have been ugly cause Totoko wrinkled her nose at them in disgust.

"Don't give me those looks." She spat. "She deserved better than you assholes."

"You...you..." Choromatsu tried to find the proper words with the audacity she had. "Tried to get her to cheat?"

"Oh please." She waved her hand dismissively. "I won't go that low, just reminding her that there are other fishes in the sea in case you hurt her."

"We would never." Karamatsu retorted with firm conviction.

"Then why isn't she here?" The brunette shot back.

 

The brothers' silence spoke volumes. They desperately wanted to retaliate, that their relationship was perfect and it was all a misunderstanding you had from past insecurities, but they knew better. They hurt you, plain and simple despite their best intentions.

Totoko stood up and dusted her outfit off. "I'll go now, Nyaa and I have a date tonight."

She was half way out the door when Osomatsu's voice stopped her.

"Do...do you know where she is?"

"No." She answered instantly. "Even if I did, why the hell should I tell you? She's better off without people thinking she's a consolation prize."

That's all she said before walking out, leaving the sextuplets in their own thoughts.

After that meeting the brothers threw themselves to work, both in the family business and sending out a secret search party to find you. As much as they wanted to tear apart Japan to find you, they also kept their parents' threat in mind, especially Osomatsu. He rather shot apart his dick and in his mouth than marry anyone other than you.

But as time passed it became clear you weren't in Japan anymore, it got to the point when their parents went to a clan meeting that lasted two days, they snuck into their father's office and hacking into their mother's laptop for any clues is when they found out they helped you move back to (Country name).

They love their parents but at this point they want to put a bullet in their heads.

After calming down considerably they decided to plan. Obviously wanting to go to (country name) suddenly even in a vacation sense would look suspicious so they decided to make some business deals and connections, they know their parents wanted to expand the Matsuno name internationally notably from a wealthy and affluent gang that had the resources their yakuza needs, and the gang needs access to Japan for better trade; a mutual beneficial business.

It took two years for their parents to trust them but the benefits outweigh their suspicions and soon enough they're on a plane to (country name).

Once they made base the sextuplets wasted no time sending out men discreetly to find you, their parents hid the documents too well to the point they thought they destroyed them but they finally found them. It contained bank notes of the money their parents have been sending you, health insurance, security, rent, and retirement funds, but no information of your address or your workplace. Of course they're parents kept the most crucial information a secret but they were nothing but persistent bastards.

Their hard work paid off after 3 months later, the brothers were in deep discussion on the weapons trade when Osomatsu's phone rang. He picked it up after two rings.

"This better be important."

"Sir. I found her."

-----------------------------

You were exhausted. These past months have been draining you; between baking, taking custom dessert commissions and scheduling the cafe’s catering services for various events for the next 5 months you were practically a zombie when you headed back to your apartment. It was in the modest part of the city, away from too much noise but still near your job and convenience store, it was perfect.

Your boss, bless her heart, gave you a week off to recharge, you thank the universe for giving you such a kind and considerate boss.

You yawned as you opened your apartment door; it was a two-bedroom apartment, the extra room is used as your office for your hobbies and jotting down notes for any recipes you make from your kitchen experiments. Thanks to the money Matsuyo and Matsuzō insisted you had no problem experimenting without worrying about the costs and even set up an emergency account.

You stretched your arms behind your behind and let out a satisfying sigh as you heard crack. “God, what a day, I wanna marry my bed.”

You dropped your bag on the coffee table, you’ll get that tomorrow and head to the kitchen, placing your leftover pastries in the fridge, you picked a random playlist from your phone and gathered the ingredients to make fried chicken and fried rice.

The sound of jazz filled the apartment as you cooked dinner. One of the best things about the building is that it's soundproof, you found out when you came home from grocery shopping after two weeks in moving. A bunch of half naked people came out of your next door neighbors as you were looking for your keys, turns out they had an orgy last night and your neighbor explained, after seeing the last person off and caught you looking with a bashful face, is that the reason why the building was more expensive is because of the soundproof walls.

You ate dinner while watching the new Netflix movie about pop star demon hunters. The soundtrack was lovely and you made a mental note to get those on your phone.

Switching another playlist, this time a little more energetic to get you through in washing dishes. But it slowly became white noise as your idle thoughts went back to the past wondering how they were after all this time; did the clan expand? Were Matsuyo and Matsuzō well? Did Totoko and Nyaa get married? Did the sextuplets miss you-

 

You stopped at that train of thought, pushing that down as hard as you could before the heartache could start. You tried so hard to forget them; going on dates and having one night stands, some of which asked for a follow up date cause they were amazed at your sex skills, but deep down you still care for them even after what they said.

You chuckled bitterly. “God I’m pathetic.” You finally finished the dishes.

Those guys probably have someone else with them after a month you reasoned, ignoring the stinging to your heart, your replaceable.

After a quick shower and finishing your night routine you sighed in relief as soon as your back hit your bed.

You tossed and turned for a comfortable position. It took five minutes before you drifted off to sleep.