Chapter Text
He's seen this so many times before, and Sadisti-kun hadn't hesitated to tease him about this possibility, too. When he had done it, it was soaked in darkness, but Dabi doesn't want to feel dark as he does this. He doesn't want to feel his locket trying desperately to pull him away from this possibility either, so he doesn't hesitate to dip his head between Sadisti-kun's muscular thighs. One hand rests against him, but the other reaches to curl around his base. Dabi's heart starts to race at just the first touch. Sadisti-kun is thick, long, and he's cool under his palm, even though when Dabi used to be able to touch himself here, he was always so warm that he felt like he was close to bursting with starlight. But Sadisti-kun is still solid in his grip, and the way that makes him so breathless with his arousal has his cage and belt chilling against him. It's uncomfortable, but he doesn't let it stop him. He can still do this even if he isn't being given the pleasure that he wants from it. He moves his hand along Sadisti-kun's cock, feeling the weight of him against his palm, thumbing over his head, savoring the soft texture of his skin. His fingers curve lower to hold his balls, moving them against his palm and going breathless with how, even though they are the same despite the differences in where they came from, here they seem to be as similar as Dabi expects he will be with humans. Was Sadisti-kun a human? Or are Demon Kings some other kind of spawn from elsewhere? Born in darkness, just like Aurorians are born to champion the light? He puts those kinds of thoughts away, because he feels Sadisti-kun starting to harden. Dabi brings his mouth lower, licking at the demon's head before his tongue laves down over his entire length. He knows from the times he's touched himself, from how Sadisti-kun always uses the oil from his wings, that he needs to make sure that he's wet so there isn't unpleasant friction against him as he strokes him and teases. He wants to make this feel good. He... needs this to be good. If it's not good, if his body can't be used, then he... really is broken. And... if he can't have this, the thing he wants so desperately, then his day of indulgence and how he's slipped, won't matter. He will go right back to the misery of before, and that makes his stomach queasy.
So he runs his tongue along Sadisti-kun's skin, finding that while he knows that his skin tastes bright and a little sweet, his own cum like whipped cream and fruit, Sadisti-kun is different. His skin is just a little salty, but the overwhelming flavor of him is bitter and rich, like dark chocolate and coffee. It's strange because the scent that comes off of his skin reminds Dabi of drinking hot spiced tea during a thunderstorm. It's so different, and as he wonders what it would be like if he were kneeling between Tomura's thighs, he likes these differences. He likes the way that Sadisti-kun tastes, and as his hand moves around the base of him, so he can stroke what his mouth can't reach, his mouth settles around his head.
Dabi is a little confused, trying to keep his teeth from touching the other man's skin, as his tongue laves over him to get more of that flavor that is starting to grow rapidly as he tastes him. The Demon King is growing harder as he licks and sucks, the stretch of his jaw foreign and... good. Even as his chastity devices tighten and go even colder, he is able to ignore them if it means that he can keep dipping his head lower, trying to work more of Sadisti-kun into his mouth.
He saw the people in videos hollow their cheeks, slap their faces with their partner's cocks, and stick them all the way into their throats until they were gagging. But Dabi just feels silly when he hits himself with Sadisti-kun's cock, and his throat hurts when he just tries to push him back into it quickly. Dabi doesn't want this to feel bad. He wants it to be good; he wants to enjoy the ways that he can feel pleasure where he can. So he starts to lick at him more, sucking lightly only when his mouth and the demon's skin get so wet that he needs to take that away so that he doesn't make a big mess, and then he works him slowly deeper into his throat. He gets Sadisti-kun a little deeper with each bob of his head, finding that the other man gets bigger and a little warmer the more he sucks at him. He can feel the texture of him get firmer, veins starting to become more noticeable against his tongue, and he delights at being able to run his tongue along those as well. He's so big, and it feels so good as he feels how Sadisti-kun gets excited for him the same way that the demon has made Dabi so excited for him in the past.
He is about halfway down Sadisti-kun's length when the other lets out a soft sound, not of pleasure, but of pain, as his body shifts under him. Panic goes through Dabi's body as he feels the other man starting to move. No, he doesn't want this to be taken away. He wants to make Sadisti-kun feel good– Dabi sucks at him a little harder, starting to bob his head a little faster as his hands try to keep the other man in place.
"Ah– Fuck!" He's only gotten to hear Sadisti-kun's voice strained with his arousal a few times before, and getting that now makes Dabi whimper as the chill around his genitals goes absolutely frigid to try and keep him soft in the constricting metal. It has to put so much effort into keeping him soft because otherwise, he would fall apart from how much he wants this to be good. It has to be good, or Sadisti-kun will just hit him again. He'll throw him away, he'll call him 'broken' and stop looking at– "Needy, naughty little whore." The hand that grips his hair is rough and painful, but it doesn't hurt the way that the punches against his skin over the past few weeks have hurt. No, this feels more grounded, softer, safer. This reminds Dabi of being punished in that warehouse. "I didn't give you permission to touch me."
Dabi looks up at him from between his legs, trying to fight the grip in his hair so he can sink his mouth down even lower because Sadisti-kun never asks before he touches him. But maybe that's what makes him dark. Maybe Dabi should have, but he isn't ready to beg or surrender. Just because he wants this dark pleasure doesn't mean that he's going to give up on being a champion of light. His locket glows and tries to put sharp hooks into his mind, tugging at it like it might rend it into pieces, because the thoughts don't make sense. He can't enjoy the darkness and pleasure, he can't seek them out, and still be good. That's what it tries to tell him, but he doesn't let himself care. He wants this, and he doesn't want his locket or the chastity devices to stop him. He can deal with the messy big things later.
"Fine, if you're so eager to swallow your master's cock, then you're going to make it worth my time." His voice is still rough, the grip on his hair is still painful, and that discomfort only grows as Sadisti-kun thrusts his hips into his mouth at the same time as he drags Dabi's head in closer. His cock hits the back of his throat, and Dabi gags, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and making him see stars as the breath is choked out of his lungs. Sadisti-kun's cock feels so much bigger when it's in his throat. It presses into spaces that Dabi didn't know could be stretched inside of his mouth, and it hurts– He gags on his moan around his hard cock as Sadisti-kun pulls him back and then forward again, thrusting into his mouth again like he's fucking him with his cock there the same way his tail and the microphone have fucked Dabi's hole.
"Fuck, you're so tight and sloppy, princess," Sadisti-kun growls as he sits up off of the hard ground enough that he can get both of his hands around Dabi's head. Both of them, sharp claws prickling his scalp, as he holds him tight and forces him to go harder, faster, as Sadisti-kun's eyes glow and he lets out a deep, snarling growl in his throat that makes Dabi so aware of how he could break him. How he could hurt him again, even as he doesn't. It becomes even more apparent when, even though he's already having a hard time breathing, Sadisti-kun's tail also wraps around his throat and tightens when he pushes all the way inside of it. Dabi's head goes so dizzy and messy, not only from the lack of air, but also how he can feel the way that Sadisti-kun's cock is stretching him inside and out. He can't help moaning around him, and when that happens, Sadisti-kun groans too as the vibrations of the sound rattle over his skin. "You're nothing but a needy, desperate slut, so why would you pretend to be anything else?"
The question is still angry, and that makes Dabi's eyes burn even more. He doesn't want Sadisti-kun to be angry with him. They fight, but the fighting lately has been different and bad. It doesn't hold any of the softness that has made... the forays with darkness feel good the way that Dabi is certain shouldn't be tempting him, the ways that CardNova has seen and has punished him for. But he's helpless in Sadisti-kun's grip, the chastity devices going so cold against his clit as he is forced not to feel good when he tastes more of that bitter tang over the back of his tongue as Sadisti-kun keeps pushing into his throat so hard that Dabi's throat and lips are starting to hurt. He's a little scared his scars might split open at the edge of his mouth if the demon keeps being so rough.
But in the end, it doesn't matter because Sadisti-kun only gives one more thrust before he pulls all the way out of Dabi's mouth, one of his hands going to his own cock, smearing Dabi's spit along himself as he tightens his grip around his flushed prick, before he gives himself two hard strokes. And then, as Dabi is still gasping for breath and trying not to cry from how badly he is hurting in his head, heart, and body, the Demon King cums with a growl. His seed splashes over Dabi's face in thick white ropes that remind Dabi of tiramisu as some of it lands on his tongue, but most of it paints his skin from forehead to chin, the drips slipping over his skin and making him feel so dirty. His locket pulses with its light and influence, trying to remind him violently that this is bad, and while he is still grappling with that, Sadisti-kun is catching his breath.
He doesn't need as much time to get settled as Dabi usually does after an orgasm, the other man immediately tucking himself back into his pants with his hands as he uses the tight hold around Dabi's neck from his tail to push him away. Then he's standing, his wings flapping to help him get up more smoothly and swiftly as his lips curl back into a sneer. "It’s a no-go, princess," he says the word with so much venom that it hurts Dabi almost as much as the cage around him as it tightens and goes so cold that the pain is sharp against his nerves. "You don't seem to get it: I'm a king, and a bratty princess who can't figure out what he wants and who doesn't serve me and my desires, isn't one I'm going to keep around as a prized pet." Sadisti-kun's eyes are glowing with his wrath as he leans down and snarls into his face, "So I'm just going to tear your heart out of your chest, and throw your body into the trash, where something so useless belongs."
His locket pulses. It shines so bright that it is like the sun is trying to fill this alleyway as it tells Dabi that he should have expected this. Sadisti-kun is a demon. He is the strongest agent of darkness that could be summoned by this world. Dabi has been told over and over again that darkness is bad. It's evil. It hurts indiscriminately, and he should have always been expecting it to hurt him. He was sent to fight against it after all. But this reaches inside of Dabi and makes that dam that has been pushed along his nerves fracture.
The light pours out in a burst, and then it dims sharply as even the locket's magic can't deny Dabi his emotions, and he bursts into tears. The loud, wracking sobs that split the alleyway fill the space with misery as his head immediately starts to hurt as much as his heart as he fails to suck in enough air for each of the sounds. A mixture of cum and tears is spilling over his skin, and Dabi's wings fold around him, surrounding him in the dark of his own embrace because no one else did that for him. Why would they? Why should they? Everyone has known since he was so young that he wouldn't really be a champion of light. He was too broken for that. He has always been broken. Dark. He isn't made of light and love; he's just a nasty, selfish, wrong person, and the things he wants are bad. He should have been able to listen to CardNova without fighting. But he couldn't. Because he's a bad princess. Because he didn't deserve this second chance. Because he shouldn't have ever woken up from his long sleep. His mother should have purified him completely, and if she had done that, then he wouldn't exist anymore because the darkness inside of him is too big and too deep. If it were gone, there wouldn't be anything left–
There's a soft huff, and then softer skin is against his cheek as Sadisti-kun uses his tail to try to wipe away some of the mess spilling down Dabi's cheeks. "You cannot have come here saying that you were going to champion the light in the universe just to be so pathetic that a few cruel words are enough to break you."
If anything, those words only make him cry more. "I– I–" he doesn't even know if he wants to say anything, but the words start tumbling out of him on a sob. The only person who has looked at the mess of him since he woke up and it was a demon. It was a monster who is still so disgusted and disappointed by what he has seen that Dabi isn't even worthy of being his pet in defeat. He's not even worthy of being his enemy anymore. "Don't want to be bad!" He sobs. "I wanna be good! I wanna feel good! I'm trying!" His locket gives another start, something in it locking down at a place inside of Dabi's very being that he hasn't felt stirring since he felt the darkness tarnishing his skin and putting his scars all across it. "I don't understand! I'm trying! It feels good when I help! It feels good when I'm touched! Why is it bad? Why can't I be good and happy?" He looks to a monster for answers as if that simple action doesn't already tell him why he can't be. A real princess, a real champion, would never have these doubts. But Dabi does, and that means that everyone who has turned away from him in fear and disgust was right. He is wrong, and there is nothing else that he ever will be instead. He is not going to be fixed someday, forgiven. He is always going to be broken, and dark, and wrong–
Sadisti-kun doesn't huff, doesn't hit him, when he kneels back down in front of him. He just frowns. "Who told you that you can't be both?"
Dabi can't quite make sense of the words for a moment, and even when he can, his sobs are so loud and his body so bright with its agony that it takes another few gasping breaths for him to manage to warble, "C-CardNova. My guide–"
The Demon King is still frowning, "Why did it tell you that?"
"B-Because it's tru–"
"No," his voice goes harder, like it had been before. "Why did it say you couldn't be happy and good, Princess?"
"I–I was reaching for darkness to feel good. I... touched myself. I let you touch me during our fights. I took my life on Earth for granted when so many other people are suffering. That's wrong– it's dark! I can't be good if I'm reaching for darkness–" Oh. And today. No, no, no. He felt so good with Tomura. He had been so bad as he indulged and shirked his duties so he could pursue his own selfish indulgences. "I failed–"
"I don't have your heart in my hand yet, princess." The demon's voice is still hard, but those red eyes are looking at him again as Dabi cries. "Your 'guide' has a skewed perception of what makes 'good', I think."
What does a demon know about good? The locket has been such a strong presence, something that is constantly weighing down Dabi's thoughts with its barriers and leashes. But this thought comes so strongly, shaped by its influence, that Dabi knows that it doesn't belong to him. And... it feels bad. Normally, the locket is light. It restrains and dampens the darkness and doubts that usually try to push into Dabi's mind because he's corrupted, and that is all he should expect from his own body. But it's not like that now. Dabi is having so many bad, messy thoughts that need to be controlled– but it instead reaches out to push something aggressive and mistrusting into his mind that is already clouded with his doubt. It makes him feel worse instead of redirecting his thoughts to light, and that makes Dabi's sobs hiccup a little. "Y-you're evil–"
"And apparently not being a naive idiot is an indicator of that." Sadisti-kun snaps. "But at least I am capable of questioning the rules of the systems around me. Why is your pleasure bad? It was only with it that you were able to summon the most sickeningly powerful light that I've ever seen. Why are you being punished for slights that haven't hurt anyone?"
Dabi sniffles, his tears still leaking down his face, but his brows start to pull together. "I– because it's dark?"
"How, Blue Star?" Sadisti-kun sounds more angry now as he speaks his question like a demand. "You saved the city. You vanquished Hawks. You parade around every time I bring my monsters out to wreak havoc, and every single time you put a stop to it and make life 'better' for the people within this city. You help old ladies cross streets and pick kittens out of trees–"
"I've never–"
"For darkness's sake, don't tell me that Auroria doesn't have innuendo or metaphors," Sadisti-kun snaps. "You do good. You bring light to this place. You challenge me. Why are you being punished for not doing it the way that your keeper wants you to? When does the punishment end? What rules did you break to earn it, and were you aware of them before you were being punished?" He takes a breath as Dabi's mind swirls with confusion. "When I punished you, you knew why it was happening. I told you what would happen, and at the end, you were forgiven so long as you didn't fall into another indiscretion like that again. If I am more capable of ensuring that you are appropriately punished and set back on your path, then there is something very wrong with whatever your Aurorian morals have taught, and you need to start asking questions. You will always be confused, desperate, scared, and controlled if you don't decide what's right on your own!"
Blue Star stares up at Sadisti-kun as he speaks, his words so sharp and so forceful that Dabi can't help but hang onto each syllable like those are the only anchors that he's been offered in weeks.
"You're the princess of light, and you are the one who determines how light is supposed to shine here on Earth. That is your responsibility as a guardian! If you can't do that, then your heart is not worth my time! This battle is not worth my time! If you can't figure this out, then the next time I see you, it should be on the horizon as you flee the planet, because I'm not going to take it easy on you anymore, Blue Star. If you don't figure this out or leave, then I'm going to tear off your wings, shatter that halo, and throw you into the gutter with the rest of us. I don't think it will take very long for you to drown."
He straightens up, turning and flapping his wings in one powerful burst that sends him soaring into the sky, disappearing again the moment that he crosses the border of shadow and back into the light.
Dabi stays in the alley for a long time, no longer sobbing, but with tears still spilling down his cheeks.
///
He enters his apartment through the front door instead of the window. He didn't want to fly right inside, and walking up the stairs and down the hall to the unit was something that took a little longer, even if he knows that the clothes he's wearing now will still get him in even more trouble. Dabi starts to open the door, but the moment his key slides into the lock, it opens, CardNova's voice shrill as it demands,
"Where on Earth have you been all day, Blue Star!?" It cries, an anger in its voice that Dabi didn't even know it was capable of. "You weren't present for any of your charity work! You missed training and patrol! You were absent when your charges needed you!"
"I– I needed to take time for myself." Dabi tries to keep his spine straight. He tries to remember the things that Tomura told him earlier as he says, "I-I know that overindulgence is bad, but not having any time at all, not being able to wear the things I like or, or, eat the foods I want, or having a break– it was making me hurt. Like I was hurting before I got my guardianship. I needed to put on my lifejacket before I could help others." He doesn't know if that sounds right or makes sense the way it did when Tomura said it to him. But by the time he finishes speaking, his spine is curved, and he's quiet and unable to look at the creature as he waits for its response.
"Oh, Princess Blue Star," the creature sounds so deeply disappointed with him that Dabi regrets saying anything. He shouldn't have. He should have just done what he was told and been good–
"I– I am the guardian of light on this planet." He tries to say things the Demon King said instead. "I am helping people! I like doing charity work! I save kittens from trees! I stop monsters! I fix things that get broken by the darkness during my battles!"
"You do not save kittens–"
"It's a metaphor!" Dabi insists, his locket trying to force the riot of emotions that he's feeling back beneath his skin. "I do good! I make light when my body is allowed to feel good! I should be allowed to do that– why aren't I?" He tries to ask, the question more of a desperate demand as it leaps off of his tongue. "I didn't make darkness when I was feeling good. I made light. Enough of it to chase Hawks's darkness off the planet and to put a Demon King on his back foot. But this," he gestures towards the cage hidden beneath his skirt and panties. "You punished me with this and– and told me I was doing so much wrong! But I don't understand! When will I be good enough to not need this anymore?"
CardNova stares back at him, the creature only frowning a bit, even as Dabi's emotions ravage his body and leave him feeling like he might collapse again as the locket tries to take away all of the him that is trying to push at the seams. It feels wrong, and Dabi... wants it off.
"Blue Star, I'm sorry I wasn't clear: You will always need these restraints." The creature tells him as the locket sears Dabi's palm when he tries to pull it off. He lets out a hiss of pain as he's forced to let go of it, and the device seems to make it even harder for him to move his limbs. They suddenly feel so heavy and so stiff. "You are never going to be as full of light and love as you were expected to be, because darkness has already stained your very core." The creature tells him. "All of these ways I've tried to help you are clearly not enough– you just can't understand that your darkness is in everything you do, even when you think you're spreading light." It sighs as Dabi finds his spine straightening, his arms going to his sides as the manifestation of his heart appears in front of him again. The key from beneath his shirt floats up on its chain, and Dabi trembles as he realizes that he can't move anymore. He can't even open his mouth to ask CardNova what's happening to him. Fear blooms bright across his nerves, but the locket tries to smother it away. "Because you're corrupted. Your mother, with all of her light and love, made a mistake in sending you to Earth. Anyone else would have seen you as the hopeless, lost cause that you are. But she was too good to give up on you. And I'm here. So I'm going to make sure that you can't disappoint her or darken that love anymore." The creature moves, shifting to the top of Dabi's head as the key unlocks his heart and Dabi's body begins to transform. But this time, instead of his halo appearing above him, CardNova takes up that space above his head. And as the ribbons normally curl around his arms to wrap them in his gloves. CardNova's limbs wrap them instead and hold on tight, making Dabi's arms move under the creature's control. "There. Since you cannot be trusted to make the right choices, now I can do it for you, Blue Star. I'll make sure that you are exactly the guardian that this planet needs!"
Dabi has no outlet for the terror that clutches his chest, but it doesn't matter– the locket around his throat tries to strangle it away anyway.