Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The former king was concealed with a constant pondering mind.

A nervous tugging at his pristine robes, perhaps even picking at his soft dough as he drifted into a labyrinth of  thoughts that could’ve been set for the rest of his life to endure. 

And what his mind contained was the one thing he wished to seek something deeper within. Shadow Milk Cookie.

It wasn’t long after facing such an individual and discovering a side of himself that he had been searching for a long, long time, a waltz with deceit and even his own life on the line. Pure Vanilla Cookie went on with the warm smile laced with serenity that continued to dress his face. 

Even if he knew it was only a porcelain mask,  awaiting its moment to shatter.

He extended his open arms, sheathed with a desire to become that of a friend for this Shadow Milk that seemed to want nothing to do with the ancient. And yet, Pure Vanilla Cookie was notorious for his inability to give up on what he believes for what you would call a second chance. Another opportunity at life, even if the other would only bare its teeth with insatiable malice and rejection. 

First try, and he had taken in the sight of the angered beast scurrying into the void of a portal he summoned upon himself, concealing his emotions away from the ancient for good. Or so he thought. 

Pure Vanilla’s nauseating kindness that made the other nearly gag was something he had yet to let go of. A persuasion that did not wish to wither.

You could begin to think it was laced with desperation, maybe even a tinge of mania as he would find himself looking up to the sky, wishing to know what he could do to make his intentions clear. 

After all, he had so much love to give. 

And how it was far from an easy journey would be an understatement. Days on end, would relish in nothing but disappointments thrown the ancient’s way. Absent hope, as empty as the bottom of a barrel. 

That, until Shadow Milk chose to not take this as an opportunity of salvation, but for his own exploitation. Such will, such desire that Pure Vanilla so vulnerably displayed was in his grasp to use of advantage. 

And with that, he went into action. 

Holding the form of a dark serpent, the beast would pursue, lurking around wherever the ancient had waltzed around. From the fields that endlessly stretched with lush grass to his warm chambers that seemed to await another's arrival, Shadow Milk was there. His hunger was potent, needless to say. Eventually that impatience had blinded the beast, who finally made his move. 

With a soft slither, he eventually realized that the startled bleats that left from the ancient’s pampered cream sheep were a simple tell-tale that perhaps his choice of shape-shift was not very appealing. 

Shadow Milk grinned, shifting to a lamb adorned with dark fleece, an unusual color that contrasted within the flocks of white fur. 

Perfect.

Bound to catch that fool’s eye. 

It was easy— a little too much. It wasn’t long until his gaze met with the other’s, the ancients lips slightly parting in awe as he took in the sight of this mysterious cream sheep that had such an interest in him. His eyes do not waver, eventually greeting Shadow Milk with a gentle smile. 

“Why, hello there. You must be new,” He doted, not even taking a moment of consideration before his hand began to caress the dark lamb. “Such a gorgeous shade of wool you have. I don’t think I’ve seen this yet.”

Shadow Milk froze. 

He couldn’t move, a breath hitching in his throat as the beast could only  gaze up at the other that drowned him with a warm embrace his body couldn’t ignore that it ached for. 

With a soft nudge, the smile that graced the ancient only deepened. “Come, little one it won’t be long before rain will pour, my orchid garden will be a nice shelter, hm?” He murmured, his soft hushed to a gentle whisper. 

Shadow Milk chose to comply. 

Draped over the gentle mixes of white and yellow that adorned the fabric of the other’s lap, Shadow Milk found himself with his small eyes fluttering as he continued to bask in the affection he was so revoltingly spoiled with. 

Was he enjoying this? 

Low, idle hums reverberated within Pure Vanilla’s throat, patient eyes closed to a shut. His hand lazily teased the beast’s fur, who didn’t make much efforts to resist the temptations of giving in. 

He closed his own eyes, a darkness enveloping him that seemed to only spiral in strength as his body grew heavy. A settled serenity that hung in the air, the singing silence save for the soft pattering of rain against the healthy lilies adorning the ancient's small garden.

And it did not stop, growing vigorous yet steady. Shadow Milk felt Pure Vanilla slowly but gradually bringing him closer into his arms as he shielded this unknown lamb within his embrace, the quick water drops that tapped against the shelter that hung over their heads showing no signs of coming to an end.

The absentminded humming that came from the ancient had trailed to a sweet melody, dancing with the loud rain that echoed throughout the world. And Shadow Milk would do nothing but live up to his title as the beholder of deceit if he denied that even a feeble feeling of peace did not course through his body. 

Ah, yes.

Peace.

Something he did not have the luxury of basking in for much of time. Perhaps from the beginning of his life, thrown into responsibility he was meant to learn for himself, such a word did not exist to the beast.

Shadow Milk did not want to open his eyes. He wanted to continue feeling this. Perhaps later on he will go on with plotting against the ancient, but for now,

Why not rest? An exploitation of sloth in this form can’t hurt. 

His body shifted, satisfaction washing over his face as he melted into the other’s embrace. A fleeting breeze of tranquil that would leave sooner or later was bound to pass by.

Might as well put it to use before it’s over. 

…

Shadow Milk’s eyes shot open right as he heard a soft gasp escape the ancient’s mouth, meeting his gaze with Pure Vanilla. He felt heavy. A little too heavy. How his arms had dug into the other’s lap ever so slightly, the strands of blue hair that twirled in the corner of his vision. 

Shit. 

Slowly, Shadow Milk’s gaze shifted onto himself, raising the small dark paw that was now a blue hand. 

He was back in his normal form. And no words could serve as an alibi, for the beast was comfortably sprawled out over the ancient’s lap he so easily accepted to lay upon. 

Ugh.

There was no backing out of this. 

He only pretended as if this was a part of his grand plan, accepting Pure Vanilla’s rather annoying requests that had been rejected time and time again for once. 

Shadow Milk did not take him seriously. If anything, he enjoyed laughing in the ancient’s face, ignoring the vulnerable itch that lingered within the depths of his soul, begging for the beast to submit to what had truly wished for. 

But Shadow Milk would rather crumble than be taken for some little “project” of that thief. 

‘Rehabilitation.’ A term so easy to shatter, something so simple yet prior to faltering with ease. 

Pathetic.

Pure Vanilla did not give up. Even as the darkness that began to hang beneath his milky eyes only grew, the more his appearance became apparent of the toll Shadow Milk was putting on him, his willpower was revolting to the beast. Every insult that lingered along Shadow Milk’s tongue, awaiting to be spat, all the times he’s put in a try to push such a caring person to their limits. 

It did not work. 

The ancient was not afraid to voice his wishes for the other. The nauseating kindness within his intentions, his lingering gaze whenever he would attempt to interact with Shadow Milk as the days passed within the home the beast so reluctantly agreed to stay concealed within — for his own safety, apparently. 

Definitely not a hostage.

Shadow Milk’s frustration only grew.

Perhaps this was a waste of time, as it was getting apparent it would’ve been a lot easier to simply summon a portal with a flick of his wrist, putting an end to this game of cat and mouse that was seemingly one sided on his part. 

There’s no bother. 

And he knew it was. One could only take so much love without eventually slipping within its warm cracks that leaked with allure, could they not? 

And he did. Soon enough.

Another dreary evening. 

Pure Vanilla sat in silence, his eyes shut per usual before. Within the distance could’ve heard the soft bleats of idle cream sheep.

It wasn’t much of anything new that for the past couple of weeks, if not months on end he had been MIA. 

You’d think the former king had gone and crumbled with how his presence felt absent amongst his ancient friends. Save for the scarce times of exchanged letters, coated of empty small talk, devoid with any detail of Pure Vanilla’s whereabouts.

A sigh escaped his lips, momentarily intertwining his fingers as a gentle breeze brushed through his blonde tresses. Supposedly a small walk to clear his head wouldn’t have hurt. 

Often, the base of his thoughts would simply be related to Shadow Milk, and a lingering feeling of uneasiness that he has not done enough quite yet to help the other. He never felt enough, despite the clear burden this rehabilitation process has put onto him.

But to say Pure Vanilla did not choose to drag himself into this, that it was not his own choice would be a lie. A gashing wound inflicted upon his own self.

He was tired. 

Exhausted, even. 

Not even the warmth of the gleaming sunlight that embraced the ancient was enough to put an end to his desire to fall into a deep slumber, perhaps for even a few days or so. 

Slowly, Pure Vanilla could feel his head lowering as his body drifted, immediately catching himself to a stop. Bringing a hand to his temples, he slowly began to massage them with a weak grip. 

Unfortunately his peace left as quick as it had come, Pure Vanilla not even quite awake enough to notice that a familiar group of individuals stood by him.

His body jolted as a familiar, feminine voice cut through the silence that hung in the cool air. 

“Pure Vanilla Cookie..” 

Drawn out of his thoughts, he blinked his milky eyes momentarily before fixing his gaze upon the ancients. It was Hollyberry Cookie who had brought his attention, while Dark Cacao, Golden cheese and White Lily were practically gathered behind her. 

And it would take a fool to not register that the expressions on their faces were far from joy. 

But still, he smiled.

 “Ah, my dear friends. What troubles you?” He finally spoke, his gaze eventually faltering. Pure Vanilla knew deep down what was the matter, though. Only, he did not want to come to the point of confrontation on it. Not yet.

Hollyberry placed a hand atop her chest, returning Pure Vanilla’s smile with a reluctant grin, unable to conceal her clear disdain.

“To tell you the truth, we’re worried about you. Again. After everything that had happened — it’s hard not to,” Hollyberry began, so much as making reference to the events with Pure Vanilla  and Shadow Milk, a memory he only wished to bury. 

It set a point for concern, given this information was only reported to her alongside the others with a tardiness. 

“That’s not all. And then you run off somewhere and practically cut off contact?—“ Hollyberry’s words were put to a halt as Golden Cheese loomed beside her, her arms crossed over her torso. White Lily lingered by, her eyes filled with unease.

Golden Cheese fixed her gaze onto him. “You’re being weird again, Pure Vanilla. If not anything else, think of the looming threat of the war. We need you!” 

Pure Vanilla swallowed again, trapped within an uncomfortable set of silence that was now his responsibility to break. They needed answers from him. 

With a reluctant sigh, he finally mustered up the courage to confess with even a brief reference as to what he had been up to.

“My friends..! How I’ve let you down..” Pure Vanilla rasped, flashing a low grin. “Though, do not worry, for I am doing just fine! In fact.. I’ve been, well, wrapped up in a little project of my own.” 

His confidence wavered for just a fleeting moment. “I just know you’ll all love what I’ve done, we may even have ourselves a powerful new ally!”

Another fit of silence, unbearably uncomfortable. 

Eventually Hollyberry blinked, hands shifting to a rest over her hips as she perked a brow. “Huh…Alright.” Her face was retorted to a mix of confusion and concern. “But, just what might this project be, pray tell?” 

In an instant, Pure Vanilla beamed with an enthusiasm that only contrasted with the unnerve hanging over the remainder of the ancients that stood before him. With a raise of his arms his smile deepens, a joy that never left his face. 

“The rehabilitation of my beastly companion, Shadow Milk Cookie!” 

And Nothing could prepare him for the dismay that twisted amongst his friends' faces. 

Chapter Text

What a failure of a proposal. The disdain that hung within the air only seemed to bare its teeth towards Pure Vanilla, a fleeting reminder of the reality of this choice he’s so much dragged himself into.

Pure Vanilla Cookie could feel a breath hitching in his throat, observing the exchanged glances amongst the others in a trice. And for a moment, Golden Cheese’s eyes darkened as she made a step closer towards Pure Vanilla, lips curled into a frown as clear as day. 

“I'm afraid you’ve lost your mind.” She spat, a piercing gaze that did not falter. A question so straightforward, not a matter of hesitance yet struck him with such precision it nearly hurt.

To the others, this merely a stubborn one amongst the group who seemed to only drown himself into deeper problems. 

Over. 

And over again. 

From choosing to venture out within Beast Yeast only accompanied by a few young cookies, to his self neglect, he never failed to be the most worrisome, a persistence to die eventually. As much as they could try to reach out to him, keep tabs and frequent conversations, the feeling that there was something missing within the ancient’s presence would ever be present. As if he had something he was keeping to himself, a secret to never be brought to light.

And of course — it sparked curiosity between the remainder of the ancient heroes. But to think it would be something that could so much put Pure Vanilla’s life on the line was not a prediction of theirs. A gamble, even, to think one could take on the role of rehabilitating a beast who claimed the title of being deceitful — an unpredictable entity who could snap its fangs any given moment. 

With a brief stutter Pure Vanilla’s gaze averted from Golden Cheese to the others. He parted his lips, preparing to say something, anything. And yet, nothing would come out, a deer stuck in headlights. 

“…I understand that this may be a point of concern,” Pure Vanilla conceded. “But I can assure you all that I have things under control. It may sound grave, but I know Shadow Milk Cookie a lot more than you may assume.” 

Such confidence. 

A shame, as it did not convince the rest of the ancients even the slightest bit. 

A faint scowl, Dark Cacao intervenes. “I need some time to understand this — just what are your intentions going forward with this? You are doing nothing but risking not only your own life, but others as well,” Dark Cacao retorted. “Shall we run off and offer helping hands to our counterparts as well? You are smarter than this, Pure Vanilla Cookie.” 

Approaching Pure Vanilla Cookie with a lingering hand upon his sword, his frown only deepened.

“Please, just listen. Shadow Milk Cookie is not who you think he is any longer, and—“ 

“Then who is he, pray tell? Surely his motives have magically gone to thin air, since you seem so confident?” Golden Cheese shot back. “Reforming a beast, reforming anyone in particular! How could you be so naïve?”

Another drag of insufferable silence. 

To assume it was a simple journey to begin with, would’ve been ignorance. From enduring Shadow Milk’s mental breakdowns prior to the start of his confinement, endless days of living in constant worry that he may be betrayed by the beast. Even such a forgiving person had their own struggles. 

Golden Cheese was far from wrong. It was not possible to see into Shadow Milk’s thoughts, or be aware of his true intentions. But, after such a long span of time being with such a person would naturally drag you closer to them. It might’ve been predictable, but Pure Vanilla could not see such a changed person to be deceiving at this point. 

You can never truly tell, though. And at this rate, it was frustrating him. 

Besides, it was useless making attempts at bringing his friends to listen to him. So, why keep on trying? He’ll prove it — eventually.

“I think I should go.” Pure Vanilla lowered his head, leaning over to take a hold of his staff. As much as he was good at holding his composure, still he could not help it. Before even being able to take a turn to dismiss himself, Dark Cacao Cookie practically lunged forward before latching a hand over the other’s shoulder.

“You have not bothered to make any sense for us, and now you will run off? Why, to disappear for eons once more?” Dark Cacao pressed, his indignation further boiling. 

Deep down, he feared for Pure Vanilla. A longing care that only manifested as the frustration that sat in his words. 

A slight tug on Pure Vanilla’s shoulder, who did not fix his gaze onto Dark Cacao, which only roused the other’s ire further. 

“Answer me!”

“I am trying to do so.” Pure Vanilla countered, his milky eyes opened momentarily. How he wished it could be easier than this, to leave things in the past. But once the damage is done, cracks cannot be hidden with an ease the ancient only wished could exist.

“My friends, please just understand me. He’s changed. It was more than just a process, but when I tell you Shadow Milk Cookie is not the same, I mean it.”

A failure of a smile as Pure Vanilla finally gazed at the others. “And while I cannot promise you that I can show you all yet, I know you’ll be very pleased with what's become of him.”

A soft voice beckoned, cutting through the silence. “…What about the rest of the beasts?”

White Lily Cookie interrupted, finally speaking up with her own words in the midst of such a heated exchange. 

“Well—“ Pure Vanilla rasped, turning to face her, his gaze softening. Naturally, it should’ve been easier speaking to someone like her — a friend he’d grown up with, who’d been present many times within the past compared to the others. Perhaps not recently, but it still mattered to him.

Maybe she would understand. 

“How.. how do you know it’s not just a trick?” She repeated. “What if he’s still in contact with the others?” 

White Lily Cookie was right. It could be just another facade. Unfortunately, this was his perspective, and not theirs. Separate experiences that would only make this feud all the more difficult.

“I..believe that would not be true,” Pure Vanilla mutters. A pathetic reply with a lack of alibi, only his own beliefs. 

“And I want to believe that this is nothing but a mere joke,” Dark Cacao spat, having no patience for this any longer. He inched closer to Pure Vanilla, his gaze burning into the other. 

“Where. Is. It.” 

Pure Vanilla glanced upwards, his brow perking. “What?” 

“That beast. Where are you keeping him? If you wish to confide this criminal away, protecting him, I swear upon my life I shall seek him myself.” 

There was nothing fabricated within his words, a promise that only made Pure Vanilla’s dough crawl.

“I’m sorry.” Pure Vanilla’s voice was hoarse.

Dark Cacao could only glare, unable to say anything more. It was far from anger — especially towards Pure Vanilla. But more so a disappointment, even. Misguided views that were bound to impact sooner or later. 

“Pure Vanilla, do you mean to tell us that you are ensuring the safety of such a.. being? I will admit, not even this I could see coming from you,” Hollyberry mumbled.

…

“I will excuse myself.” 

Avoiding their gazes, with a swift turn Pure Vanilla gradually made a distance away from the others, a complete and utter failure to defend himself any longer. He did not expect himself to do something like this— running off without a word. 

But what more was there to say? Nothing would be successful. 

Dark Cacao did not stop speaking, though. “You can’t keep that beast hidden away forever. I’m severely disappointed in you.”

Pure Vanilla continued walking, taking no account of the words Dark Cacao called after him.

“You will regret this.”

—

To say he did not feel even slightly begrudgingly of the turn of events would be a lie. Pure Vanilla’s eyes would trail from the haze of the ground to the sky, fingers twisting into white fabric. Today was meant to be a moment of solitude for him — only resulting in another pang of stress to irk his mind away. The concerns among his friends were not unreasonable, and yet he could not ignore the frustration that seeped in his dough. 

A mere refusal to hear him out.

Soft shuffles sounded underneath the ancients feet as he made his way down the stretched field, wasting no time with his haste. 

That until, he felt a soft nudge be made against his leg. 

Startled, his gaze lowered to see a large cream sheep nearly head butting him. Pure Vanilla couldn’t help but smile, crouching down to run his fingers through its fleece. 

Setting down his staff, he gradually lowered to the ground to sit, allowing the animal to flop onto his lap.

He gently brushed his blonde strands out his face, choosing to relish in the small bit of peace in the moment. His life wasn’t exactly what you’d call stressful, but he was living with Shadow Milk after all. The beast might’ve turned into that of a better person, but his old habits have still not yet died down.
On a daily basis, Pure Vanilla Cookie would have to deal with being caught off guard by random traps, tricks and childish banter from Shadow Milk. He was surely an interesting company to hold. But not an easy one. It was harmless— of course. Although he couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed from time to time.

The cream sheep nuzzled into his pristine robes, emitting a soft bleat. Pure Vanilla raised his head once more, taking in the sight of the swirls of orange and red that slowly painted the sky. It would be dark soon enough, only now having him realize that he needed to get home. 

Time’s ticking.

The walk wasn’t far — he never planned to venture out much in the first place. Well, if he didn’t know this would’ve led to a dispute with his own friends.

But he only wanted to put this day behind him. Without fail, a decent smile stretched across Pure Vanilla’s face As he pressed his hand against the oak door, a soft creak emitting the further it opened. 

It's warm. And smelt nice, too. 

Curious about the source of the scent, Pure Vanilla attempted to announce his arrival with a weak “I’m home!” once more. The front of the home was enveloped in darkness, save for the light spilling out from the kitchen. 

Perking a brow, Pure Vanilla shut the door behind him with a sounded click, removing his large hat and placing it on the tall coat hanger that loomed nearby. Walls looming with small portraits, the short hallway stretched out, soft clangs of metal and sounded steps filling the air as he pursued the source of the noise. His staff slightly scraped against the wooden grounds, an irritating sound that had him adjust its position quickly. 

Turning his head, Pure Vanilla entered the kitchen, a slight squint of his eyes as he adjusted to the brightness that contrasted with the rest of the home. 

There Shadow Milk Cookie stood, a concentrated expression washed over his face as his fingers were tightly wrapped around a large, wooden spoon. He loomed over the stove, gaze fixated onto the large pot that sat over the stove.

He hummed upon the sounds of shuffling before suddenly perking up from his dazed eyes, his brows furrowing. 

Suddenly his face twisted into a smile, only giving the other a split of a second to react before lunging towards him, arms constricting the ancient into a tight hug. 

“Nill! What took you so long?” Shadow Milk exclaimed, his head nuzzling against Pure Vanilla. Never failing to be a breach of personal space, as usual. 

“Oh, how I’ve missed you! You’re just in time for dinner too!” He continued, eventually making a proximity — but not quite breaking the hug, hands still pressing against the others arms.

Pure Vanilla straightened, setting his staff to lean against the wall. “Thank you, Shadow Milk. I appreciate it. A gentle smile only deepens before he pulls the beast in for yet another hug, a gesture of gratitude.

It was a breath of fresh air to him, being back at home only fought away the unease that lingered in his mind, considering the events of earlier. 

But, ultimately he decided he would not speak of it though, wishing to enjoy the moment rather than keep his thoughts at lament.
He only noticed the embrace was broken once Shadow Milk  backed away,  his gaze fixed to the ground with a tinge of forlorn. Fingers fidgeted with the ivory apron that draped over his torso, his brow slightly furrowed.

“Name, Pure Vanilla,” he mumbled, the tone of his voice soft.

Oh, crap.

“Ah— my mistake. Blueberry milk, I got it.” Pure Vanilla held up his hands in an apologizing gesture. “It seems my head isn’t quite working today,” he mustered a short lived chuckle, attempting to clear the awkwardness.  

This wasn’t the first time Pure Vanilla had twisted over his words, but it would always be met with a gentle reminder from the other.

It was only fair he didn’t wish to be referred to with such a name anymore, though.  

“Don’t sweat it,” Blueberry Milk muttered. 

He studied Pure Vanilla, his eyes lazily trailing down the ancient’s form. “As for you,” he piqued, turning back to the stove. “Ya look like you got caught in an avalanche. You alright?” 

Pure Vanilla slightly frowned. “Do I?” bringing a hand to smooth his hair over before patting down the fabric draped along his shoulders. “Just a bit tired, I suppose.” 

A monotone chuckle left Blueberry Milk’s mouth. “You should get some sleep later, vampire.” A lazy stir of the spoon twirled through the metal pot before he brought it to his lips, a perplexed look on his face. 

“…Could use something.”

Pure Vanilla’s head perked up, attempting to get a look over the others shoulder onto to be met with a hand to his face, gently nudging him away. Blueberry Milk didn’t even bother turning to him, resuming his stirring. 

“Go and sit, it’ll be ready soon.” 

Pure Vanilla mustered a grin as he brushed his own hand against his chin, mumbling a faint “alright,” before exiting the kitchen. It was more so a routine than anything, the two of them taking turns whenever they pleased on who would prepare dinner. It could help Blueberry Milk get better at responsibilities of his own. After all, every step to redemption mattered. Perhaps Pure Vanilla had his own personal problems to handle, but for the most of time the focus was on Blueberry Milk. Even if he could feel exhaust prodding at him, efforts would not go to a waste.

Eventually, Pure Vanilla lowered into a seat that was positioned by the table, swiftly pulling off the fabric that rested over his neck before draping it onto his lap. And for a moment, his eyes shut, bringing his hand to his temples.  

Tired. 

He remained in that position for the past time till a sounded thud shot his eyes right back open, a warm gust of steam meeting the ancient’s face. 

Tilting his head, Blueberry Milk gave Pure Vanilla a half smile as he set a bowl in front of the other. 

“My, Don’t go dozing off yet. At least eat.” The slight splitting noise of his own chair rubbing against the ground filled the air, sitting across from Pure Vanilla. It wasn’t long before Blueberry Milk was already bringing spoonfuls of stew to his mouth, Pure Vanilla gazing idly at his own utensils. 

Eventually he too began to eat, sneaking blank glances at the other who had his eyes focused onto the table. It was silent for a moment, a solace lingering within the home. 

Minutes past before suddenly, Blueberry Milk let out a snicker that startled Pure Vanilla, who raised his head to meet eyes with the other. 

“Got something on your face.” He grinned, a hand perched beneath his chin. 

Blueberry Milk watched in amusement as the other struggled to wipe away at his face, a flush creeping up over his face. Eventually Pure Vanilla let out a soft sigh, slowly pushing the bowl from himself.

“Thank you for the food. If you don’t mind— I’ll excuse myself,” Pure Vanilla muttered, fighting back the drowsiness that hung low on his eyelids. But his movements paused as he heard a low grumble from the other, a nervous smile tugging at his lips. 

“It’s only seven,” Blueberry Milk uttered, his eyes unamused. 

To be fair, that’s sort of late.

But he didn’t really care. 

Pure Vanilla studied the ground, biting his lip before he lowered back into the chair, gaze shifting onto the half eaten bowl of stew that sat before him. 

“It’ll be worth it, trust me! I have something fun planned out,” Blueberry Milk remarked, noticing the little expression of tire on the ancient’s face. 

“Well, that is if you end up liking it,” he added, toying with the silver spoon that clinked against the ceramic bowl. Pure Vanilla raised a brow, feigning curiosity.

“What will we be doing?” He hummed, resting his elbows onto the table. 

It was as if Blueberry Milk was awaiting him to say it, the beast’s head perking up from his hand. 

“Oh, finally you ask!” He dramatically placed a hand against his forehead, leaning back into the chair with an exaggerated sigh. “You made me nearly think you weren’t interested.” 

“Well,” Pure Vanilla smiled. “You’ve never failed to be an entertainer, I suppose.” 

Blueberry Milk returned the grin. “Huh. What a flirt.” 

A slight flush to his face, Pure Vanilla only responded with a small chuckle. “I’m telling the truth, Blue.” He gently lifted a strand of hair away from his face, only for it to fall into place once more. 

Blueberry Milk abruptly rose from his seat, looming over Pure Vanilla. “Hm. If you say so..” with a slight tug he wrapped his fingers around the other’s wrist, pulling the ancient from his chair. 

“Come.”

Another five minutes or so past and the warm lights that illuminated the home were switched on, Pure Vanilla intently watching Blueberry Milk, who shuffled around with pillows in his arms. A small mess of pillows lay atop of the stairs, its clutter organized to a degree. 

He stepped closer to Pure Vanilla, arms discreetly positioned behind his back. His grin only deepened when meeting the ancient’s eyes, who raised a brow. 

Pure Vanilla tilted his head. “Is there something you’re hiding?” 

Eagerly, Blueberry Milk finally drew his hands out before bestowing a large, leather book. A small, yellow sun was stitched into the hardcover, a familiar silhouette that Pure Vanilla recognized nearly on the spot. 

“A storybook? Is it..” He tapped his chin slowly, eyes squinted while continuing to ponder. 

“..Crèmepunzel!” Blueberry Milk finished for him, stretching an arm in a theatrical motion as he twirled. “A classic Vanillian tale, yes?” 

Pure Vanilla softly nodded, the star that swirled through his large staff beaming with eagerness. “Will we be reading this tonight?” 

Blueberry Milk grinned. “Something even better.” 

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla stifled a yawn as he stood by the staircase, his gaze fixed onto Blueberry Milk. An organized clutter of pillows laid atop the steps, the leather book clutched against the other’s chest. 

The noise of occasional creaks that left the steps, fabric shuffling and the other’s brief grumbles whenever a pillow toppled over had filled the air, drowning out the soft ambience of the home. 

Soft, ivory cloth that was made of Blueberry Milk’s night clothes ruffled around his body as he continued to assort the stacks of pillows, a partial grin spread across his face. 

“Well.” He began, tilting his head. “I suppose it’s not the best, but it’ll work.” 

Pure Vanilla perked a brow. “What will?” 

Before he could even muster a reaction, Blueberry Milk rose from the staircase and took ahold of the ancients hand — no room for argument. Pure Vanilla found himself being sat down atop a pillow, the other's hands pressing onto his shoulders. 

A sigh, glancing down towards Blueberry Milk, who was now at the end of the staircase, he corrected his posture, pulling his nightgown over his knees once more. “It has been minutes, I still do not understand what is happening,” Pure Vanilla mumbled. 

With a smirk, Blueberry Milk tussled with the leather book before lingering to the side of the staircase, watching as the ancient’s milky eyes followed his steps. Suddenly, he held out his hand, a theatrical motion of eagerness. 

He pointed a sharp finger towards Pure Vanilla.

“You,” Another fit of juggling with the fairytale book. “Are going to play as none other than the star!” 

Pure Vanilla fought a smile. “Crémepunzel?” 

Blueberry Milk nodded enthusiastically, a grin full of teeth. “Of course. And I’ll be the prince that so kindly saves you,” a proud hand pressed against his chest, the eyes that adorned his hair narrowed with glee. Pure Vanilla returned the other’s passionate energy with a soft chuckle, shaking his head. 

“And I suppose there’s no getting out of this play of yours, is there?” 

Blueberry Milk twirled a strand of hair around his finger, his body swerving idly. “Nope.”

Yet another shenanigan of his. But, Pure Vanilla was more than happy to be his guest, if so be the case. 

Pure Vanilla lowered his gaze before bringing his hands to pieces of hair, flipping the blonde tresses over his shoulder. A neutral expression hung over his face as he tossed most of the golden locks over the staircase railing, perking a head out to get a better look at Blueberry Milk. “There.”

“You followed through quickly, huh?” Blueberry Milk flashed a smile of gratitude as he suddenly cracked open the book, a fit of his throat clearing filling the air. “Well, Let’s begin.” 

The soft, crisp sound of pristine pages flipping beneath his fingers, the beast let in a dragged exhale. 

“Once upon a time, there was a crispy, vanilla scented cookie who spent her days basking in the warm sunlight that would softly touch the walls. Residing in a tall, sturdy cake tower, She was known most for the long, golden frosting that would dance in the sun’s rays, rumored to be magical hair that could bless healing. It would flow gracefully down this beloved tower, a sight any eye could catch.” 

“And..” his voice trailing off, Blueberry Milk paused, stealing a glance towards Pure Vanilla. The ancient reciprocated the gaze, a tender smile that garnished his face so lovingly it nearly stopped the beast’s heart. 

Pure Vanilla hummed, noticing Blueberry Milk’s silence. “Go on..”

Finally snapping his gaze away, the other nodded, once more clearing his throat. 

“Mm. Anyways. Her name was Crèmepunzel, and how she longed to be able to frolic with the other cookies had grown to be a desire she wished to come true. But, this would not be easy, for she was encased within this tower by a vile, evil witch.” Blueberry Milk paused for effect, flipping the crisp page. 

He tilted his head, giving Pure Vanilla a slight gesture, who perked up. 

“Oh—“ Pure Vanilla stammered, clearing his throat vigorously which only earned a glare from Blueberry Milk. He dressed with a forced frown, a dramatic hand falling over his head. 

“Why, I don’t think I can spend any longer in this tower!” Pure Vanilla exclaimed, voice raised to an octave that was a bit unnecessary.

He sounded awful.

At least it sent a fit of giggles from the other. 

Blueberry Milk gestured once more, Pure Vanilla shutting his lips as a response. “This witch had chosen to raise the poor, hopeless cookie. To climb into the tower, it would beckon her name, uttering the lines; ‘Crèmepunzel, Crèmepunzel! Let down your hair—“ 

Blueberry Milk felt a heavy tussle of soft, blonde hair hit his face not even a second after, scowling up at Pure Vanilla, who placed a hand over his mouth. 

Pure Vanilla shuffled atop the pillow that he was sitting onto, a soft creak emitting from the staircase. Noticing the glare that the beast made his way.

A stifled laugh. “Sorry— I had assumed that was my part.” But the grin on his face couldn’t be helped. 

“Ugh.” Blueberry Milk flipped the page once more, brushing the lengthy hair away from his face.

He continued on. “Fast forward, a young prince had been rumored to be in the vicinity of the Vanilla Kingdom, kindhearted and well known. He had yearned to meet this Crèmepunzel, having known the rumors that would bounce from ear to ear throughout this kingdom. It was not long until he had wandered far, far out to seek this cake tower that hovered over the greenery of the Vanillian lands. Entranced by this cookie’s beloved voice as she sang melancholic melodies, he discovers this tower is not quite easy to enter.”  

“He would lurk beyond this cake tower, days and days would pass till he discovered just how the witch would climb into its interior. Till one day, this prince hatched a plan.” 

Blueberry Milk paused once more, setting the book down. Tossing his braid over his shoulder with a swift hair flip, he hummed as hands rested atop his waist. “It’s my turn to act now. You could learn a thing or two,” He muttered, inching closer to the staircase. 

With a theatrical voice that had basked the air, Blueberry Milk raised a hand towards the ancient.

“It seems that none other than that witch has departed once more!” he announced, stealing glances towards Pure Vanilla, who watched the other intently. 

“There’s only one thing I can do!” Blueberry Milk ran a hand through Pure Vanilla’s long hair as it trailed over the railing, giving it a gentle tug. 

“Crèmepunzel, Crémpunzel, let down your hair!”

Pure Vanilla frowned, slightly raising his head. “I do not recall the prince pulling onto her hair, Blueberry Milk.”

Blueberry Milk only hushed him. “Shh! Just play along!” 

The ancient made an unimpressed sigh, correcting his posture before he spoke. “Oh, it must be my caretaker!” With a ruffle of his hair, another heap of golden tresses bestowed Blueberry Milk’s way, as much length as Pure Vanilla could muster without his neck straining. 

Eager, Blueberry Milk made grabby hands towards the ancients hair before suddenly making a turn, swiftly making his way up the staircase. He sat by Pure Vanilla, who met his gaze with a perplexed smile. 

“That was rather quick.”

“I don’t remember that being your line Nill,” Blueberry Milk grinned, his head tilting. 

Back into character. “Ah,” Pure Vanilla shifted closer to the beast, clearing his throat. “This is not my caretaker. Just who might you be?” 

He sucks at this. 

But, it did make it only more entertaining.

“I am the prince who has recently made way into this beloved kingdom. I’ve heard many, many tales about you. But, to think it is true only swerves my heart more,” Blueberry Milk’s voice softened as he told a hold of the other’s hand. 

Pure Vanilla’s smile deepened. “Your heart?” 

“Why, Yes! If anything, it was your lovely melodies that had truly drawn me to this tower. I apologize for my fleet of trickery, but I did not know how else I could have gotten in. I’ve seen that witch for a while now, but..” Blueberry Milk gazed down the staircase before continuing. “Tell me, do you wish to leave?” 

Pure Vanilla paused, an imitation of Blueberry Milk as he tried to play his role with as much effect. 

A small nod. “Yes.” 

Blueberry Milk grinned. “Then, let me help you. I want to save you, as no cookie should endure such suffering.” 

An hour had dragged by with a haste the two of them did not quite keep track of. Pure Vanilla could feel his eyes drifting to a close as Blueberry Milk continued on with reading the folktale, occasionally acting out the script with the ancient as his narration went on. Suddenly, the beast raised his hands, stretching his arms with a light crack. 

A soft sigh left his mouth, the leather book gently enclosing within the beast’s hands. 

“Last act. Well, I’d just say they lived happily ever after — but where’s the fun in that?” A smirk twitched at his lips. 

Proceeding to go forward with being in character, Blueberry Milk made his way up the staircase once more, gazing at Pure Vanilla. The ancient returned the eye contact, his face laced with drowsiness. 

“Now,” Blueberry Milk held out his hand. “I wish nothing but for you to become my princess. Fall into my arms, and let us live a fruitful life for the rest of time, Crémepunzel.” 

And although this was an act, the essence of it sent genuine joy through Blueberry Milk’s dough. Could it have been simply an appreciation for the ancient’s participation, or perhaps something deeper, that would be much harder to decipher. He watched as Pure Vanilla bit his lip, a mimic of someone pondering before he finally returned Blueberry Milk’s smile, holding out his hand. 

“I would love that.” 

Played that line a bit too well. For once, at least. Much more proficient than the occasional stammers and stumbling over his own words — clearly not built for theatrics compared to the other. 

And yet, Blueberry Milk remained patient. Save for his fleeting glares, or stifled snickering, at least Pure Vanilla had put in the effort to engage with him. 

Rising to his feet, Pure Vanilla allowed Blueberry Milk to lead him farther up the staircase, the steps creaking beneath their weight. He stifled a yawn, rubbing away at his eyes with a free hand. 

Blueberry Milk grinned, announcing a hushed; “the end.” He had fought back a laugh as he bowed before the ancient with a dramatic dip, presenting occasional curtsies and air kisses. Pure Vanilla, of course, only encouraged his arrogant behavior, imitating the gesture of tossing theatrical roses. 

The ancient gave a short-lived applause. “Well played, my friend,” He praised, resuming with making his way up the steps until the two of them had paused, having reached the top floor. Blueberry Milk’s gaze shifted for a moment, his eyes fixing onto the hallway that stretched before them.

He turned to the ancient, hands clasped his back.“You know, these sappy stories usually end off with a kiss of some sort. But, I’d rather press my lips against a cake hound.” A grin full of teeth displayed the beast’s face, well aware of his teasing. 

Ouch. 

“I suppose that is fair,” Pure Vanilla muttered. He chose to ignore the jab, eyelids once more faltering as sleepiness crept up. 

Blueberry Milk tilted his head. “Tired?” 

Pure Vanilla nodded. 

An exasperated sigh. “Ugh. Alright, you big mope.” Blueberry Milk yawned as well, earning a breathy laugh from Pure Vanilla. 

“You’re tired as well, Blue. Get some rest, my friend.” Pure Vanilla broke the embrace of their hands, Blueberry Milk’s gaze shifting downwards as the ancient proceeded to gesture towards his bedroom door.

The beast rolled his eyes, a hand approaching the knob. “Oh for witches sake, are you going to read me a bedtime story now?” 

Pure Vanilla only smiled. “Only if you wish.”

“..Shut up.”

Chapter Text

Blueberry Milk Cookie let out a soft groan, mumbling something intelligible as he dove into his bed. The two of them were roommates, but often it was Pure Vanilla who did the most of caring for Blueberry Milk. It was sort of his job after all, considering he’s the one who began this rehabilitation process. 

As the mattress slightly sank under his body weight, Blueberry Milk stirred for a second to remove a layer of his clothing, and undoing the large braid his hair was tied into by Pure Vanilla. The room was dimly lit only by the lamp that rested on his nightstand, emitting a soft blue color. 

“I’ll leave you alone now—“ Pure Vanilla began, immediately being cut off as Blueberry Milk sat up and wrapped his arms around the ancient’s neck. 

Pure Vanilla was a bit startled before he deeply sighed, taking in the sweet scent of blueberries and powder that the beast always had. “Stay.. please,” Blueberry Milk requested, slightly gesturing for Pure Vanilla to lay down. 

He did this often. Usually when something was on his mind, or if he was feeling down he would always ask Pure Vanilla to sleep with him for the night. He couldn’t tell if it was for a source of comfort, or if Blueberry Milk simply did not want to be alone. 

His codependency was never overlooked— it seemed more prevalent than usual lately. “..Can I ask you something?” Blueberry milk suddenly said, breaking the silence that weighed in the air. 

Pure Vanilla broke the hug and opened his eyes to meet them with Blueberry Milk’s, his hair slightly obscuring his vision as he pushed the golden locks from his face. He said nothing though, awaiting for what Blueberry Milk was going to say. 

“Did something happen today? You don’t look well and—“ “Just a bit of stress,” Pure Vanilla said, not even allowing him finish his sentence. It was now clear he was hiding something. 

Blueberry Milk slightly narrowed his eyes, confused by the assertiveness of Pure Vanillas words. He was formerly the fount of knowledge— he wasn’t a fool. He could tell when something was going on. 

“Is it me?” 

Pure Vanilla felt his heart drop at the suggestion, knowing this was going to be yet another moment of him having to reassure Blueberry Milk that he wasn’t being a burden on him. This was one of the main reasons why in the start of his rehabilitation, he often had mental breakdowns. It was only reasonable he’d be overwhelmed by Pure Vanilla’s care for him, considering his past behavior. 

Unfortunately Pure Vanillas was already currently stressed— and this was not helping. Because of this he did not respond, only parting his lips, yet no words came out. “So, it’s true..” Blueberry Milk sat up, slightly turning his head away. “I-Its not! I’m just— I'm just a little worried..” Pure Vanilla finally spoke up, also sitting up to place a hand on Blueberry Milk’s shoulder. 

“About what? Do you think I’m doing better? Have I really changed?” Blueberry Milk pressed, facing the ancient once more. His voice was slightly cracked, a hand gripping onto his shirt. His long hair was slightly frazzled as it draped over his shoulders. 

Pure Vanilla didn’t respond again. He did think Blueberry Milk did better, of course he thought that. But his mind was constantly flooded with the reminder that he was supposed to hate Blueberry Milk. He was supposed to be his enemy, not care for him. 

But he couldn’t bring himself to do nothing after finally realizing deep down, Blueberry Milk was hurting. 

After all, hurt people.. hurt people, right? 

Months and months on end, he found himself ignoring his personal needs to put all his time into caring for Blueberry Milk. He could see the beast improve over time— he knew that for a fact. 

“I do think you’ve changed, but I’m not sure if others will think that,” He said. No matter what though, he was not going to ever tell Blueberry Milk about what the rest of the ancient heroes thought. It was for the best, right? He’s doing the right thing. Yes, this is just a matter of protection. 

But it felt more like he was trying to convince himself than tell a fact.

“You’re lying. You’re just scared yourself, aren’t you?” Blueberry Milk was now slightly backing away from Pure Vanilla, his constant accusations a projection of his own worries. He knew that himself, but he wondered if that was really the case. 

“What— don’t put words in my mouth!” Pure Vanilla said back, now slightly frustrated with the back and forth. “I’m not!” Blueberry Milk shot back, his eyes now glassy. Oh gosh.

Pure Vanilla immediately shifted forward before pulling Blueberry Milk towards him. He gently wrapped his arms around his head, slightly swaying as he tried to comfort him. He didn’t do all that much of a good job, only mumbling sweet nothings and assuring the beast everything was okay. 

He heard soft, muffled hics coming from Blueberry Milk Cookie. He was crying. Pure Vanilla couldn’t help but feel a little relieved though, considering his behavior could’ve been a lot more erratic with his past breakdowns. He shut his eyes and rested his chin on Blueberry Milk's head, nudging him to lay down as he kept his tight embrace. 

Eventually the sobs were reduced to sniffles, and before he knew it the beast had fallen asleep in his arms. 

The room was completely silent now, only sometimes broken by the sounds of shuffling. Pure Vanilla was still wide awake though, staring at the wall with his arms still fully wrapped around Blueberry Milk. He couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation he had with his friends. From now on, he would be constantly dreaded with the reminder that they were not happy with him. 

Seems like kindness can only get you so far. 

Chapter Text

Pure Vanilla opened his eyes, shutting them momentarily as sunlight seeped into the room past the white curtains. It took him a second to realize Blueberry Milk was no longer in the bed. 

Fretting, he finally rose from the bed. A sweet blueberry scent was still lingering like usual, so he couldn’t have left too long ago. As Pure Vanilla strutted past the dresser that stood nearby the door, he couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of his appearance in the mirror. 

He hadn’t gotten the chance to freshen up last night, being lost in thought before also falling sleep shortly after. 

The ancient leaned his face closer to the mirror, his slightly impaired vision making him need to get more up close. He has not looked this way in a long time; his long tangled hair, his dark circles and his eyes. The sight felt almost out of place.

Before he could continue to stare any longer though— the door softly creaked. 

He turned to meet eyes with Blueberry Milk Cookie, who was surprised to see he was awake. Pure Vanilla perked up, but said nothing before finally speaking up. “Are you feeling better?” He asked, his voice soft and raspy. 

“Forget me.. Uh, you should go back to bed,” Blueberry Milk seemed to have some lingering guilt from his partial lashing out on Pure Vanilla from last night— it was evident in his body posture and the fact that he did not approach him with a hug of greeting like usual. 

“My friend, you must tell me if—“ before Pure Vanilla could even finish speaking Blueberry Milk proceeded to nudge him towards the bed, forcing him to sit back down. 

“Hmm, you know what? I’m gonna be the ancient today!” Blueberry Milk exclaimed, suddenly clasping his hands together as if he had come up with an amazing plan. “You rest. I do the work today,” he continued, leaving no room for protest from Pure Vanilla. Or at least he tried to. 

“I have errands to run today, Blueberry. I’m afraid that won’t be possible.” “I know I know, feed your lambs and birdies or whatever, paperwork, booring!” Blueberry Milk dismissed Pure Vanilla’s worries with a wave of his hand. 

“But I’ll still do it, you need to take a chill pill,” He said, ignoring the slight frown on Pure Vanilla’s usually kind face that indicated he was about to lecture him again. 

“How can I ensure you won’t.. make any mistakes?” Pure Vanilla bargained, still not quite sure about having Blueberry Milk run off to do his own work for him. Especially with his friends out there who…

Don’t overthink it.
He’s safe in the vicinity of the home. And they don’t exactly pay sudden visits all together— it’s usually arranged meetings.

“Very well. You have my trust. Blueberry Milk.. please. Be safe,” Pure Vanilla begged, taking the beast’s soft blue hands to clasp it on his own. 

Blueberry Milk’s usual playful smirk lowered into that of a warm smile, promising he will be fine before once more requesting Pure Vanilla to get some rest. With that Pure Vanilla watched him run out the room, shutting the door behind him. 

But he couldn’t sleep. Anxiety was prodding at the ancients mind, now paranoid that Blueberry Milk was going to get hurt. He was sure that the beast could tend to himself but, his protective instincts were ever present.

He realized he hadn’t even gotten the chance to freshen up last night, or do anything at all related to self care. So he chose to leave Blueberry Milk’s bedroom to take a shower, hoping it would lessen his anxious mood. 

Blueberry Milk Cookie on the other hand was already caught in turmoil. As he had left the house and ran out to the backyard he was immediately greeted with a herd of hangry cream sheep.

The animals, a mix of young and adult, greedily grazed at the ground's greenery. He recalled how Pure Vanilla usually just tossed them some grain to nibble on, shouldn’t be too hard. Blueberry Milk glanced over the field, a hand shielding his eyes from the glaring sunlight before finally spotting the buckets. Luckily they were filled up, so less work for him.

He quickly realized his mistake thinking he could take on Pure Vanillas errands as he immediately was head butted by a large cream sheep, agitated by him standing in its way. 

“Stop that! Don’t—“ It huffed before ramming him again, causing him to fall face first into the soil. He did not understand how Pure Vanilla could keep his patience with such arrogant little creatures. 

He finally turned over onto his back after what seemed like forever, his clothes now covered in dirt. He grumbled, now agitated before standing up once more and eyeing his ruined clothes. 

Blueberry Milk stormed over to grab the two buckets of grain, caught off guard by the heaviness of them. 

He groaned as he practically stumbled back over to the large group of cream sheep, emptying the contents of the metal containers. “There! Eat you stupid—“ 

Another ram in the leg. He was sick of this, finally maintaining a distance from the flock before realizing his job was not even close to done. Now he had to brush their wool. 

The beast felt his eyes shut in agitation, ignoring his regret of offering to do Pure Vanilla’s work for him as he sought out to find the brush the ancient usually uses on them. He spotted a large, wooden object buried into the soil and began prying at it, finally obtaining it with some struggle. 

Has he always been this weak? 

Sure, he lost most power after no longer having possession of his soul jam. 

He often found himself longing for the freedom of floating around, bringing things to life with the flick of his wrist. Perhaps after relying on the comfort of magic for so long, he never took in mind his physical strength. 

All he could do now magic wise was a couple of tricks, and floating objects if he really tried. 

The beast felt a tinge of insecurity wash over him as he gazed at the cream sheep who continued to eat their fill. He sighed, putting back on a confident grin before deciding to start with a smaller lamb. While he ran the brush through the soft wool, it was clearly irritated but he chose to ignore it, wanting to get this over with. 

After struggling with more sheep, he collapsed onto the ground in a fit of exhaustion. At least the job was done. Or more so, the first one. 

Tired, he set down the brush which was now filled with excess wool and trudged back into the house. Blueberry Milk waltzed back in, noticing dirty footsteps were following him and hastily discarded his boots, knowing that was going to earn another lecture from Pure Vanilla, who did the most of the cleaning. 

He had stood by a window and lazily tossed out a couple of seeds for the blue birds to have, not in the mood to deal with another round of animal feeding. At least he tried, right?

“Nilly!” He called out, and almost automatic Pure Vanilla ran down the stairs to check up on Blueberry Milk. His bright face had twisted into a mix of perplex and amusement at the sight of Blueberry’s dirtied fabric, and messy hair. 

“Oh, look at you. Let me get you cleaned up—“ “I am fine! I’m just telling you I'm almost finished. I’m assuming you have paperwork too? Let me do it!” He persisted, refusing to have Pure Vanilla do any form of work at all today. 

After how exhausted he looked yesterday, Blueberry Milk couldn’t bear the sight anymore. Especially knowing most of that was because of him and how hard it is to truly look after his wellbeing. 

Pure Vanillas brows furrowed as he gazed at the ground, a finger on his chin. It was sort of childish, a lighthearted contrast with his role as both a caretaker and a hero. 

“Ah.. I needed to mail back a couple of letters that I had to send out yesterday. If you don’t mind, that would be nice to get off my back!” He said enthusiastically, pleased by Blueberry Milk's kind behavior. 

Without a word the little joker ran off to take care of it, earning yet another smile. 

By the time he was finished he was sprawled out over a desk, letting out what seemed like the hundredth yawn of the afternoon. Of course he snooped— it was just his nature. But it was nothing interesting, just boring old small talks and discussions between the ancient heroes. 

His mind had drifted to Pure Vanilla’s friends as he read their exchanges, and he started to wonder how’d they feel about him if they saw him now. It was a shame he was blissfully unaware they sought him as a threat. 

Blueberry Milk Cookie rose from the desk, handing the final letter to a puffy blue bird that proceeded to make off with a flap of its delicate wings, the crisp paper clasped between its beak. 

He decided to go check up on Pure Vanilla, practically barging into the ancients bedroom. Immediately he felt blinded by the amount of sunlight pouring into the room, ever so slightly irritated. 

There Pure Vanilla had laid, his tired eyes completely shut. He was practically passed out, a rare sight for him to seem so relaxed. A thin white blanket was draped over his shoulders, his chest rising and falling under the soft fabric. 

Instead of being adorned in his usual robes, he was in a basic white gown, and his long hair was tied back into a messy ponytail. His dark circles were definitely still present— but hopefully he’ll look a little more healthy after a long nap. 

Blueberry Milk smiled before tiptoeing over to the bed, observing the bliss washed over Pure Vanillas face. If he knew just how much the saint was overworking himself, he would do his tasks for him everyday. But being the irritatingly humble person he was, Pure Vanilla would probably never let that happen. 

At least it was evident he loved Blueberry Milk, and was willing to put this much time and effort into redeeming the once unstable beast. 

Chapter Text

As the night began to approach, Blueberry Milk had sat in his room while prodding at a plushie of Pure Vanilla he had chosen to sew out of boredom. Eventually he wandered out, contemplating if he should go check up on the ancient or not. He found himself pressing an ear against the door. 

Momentarily there was the sound of rustling— then it stopped. It seemed Pure Vanilla was awake. 

Blueberry Milk knocked before turning the door knob, taking in the sight of Pure Vanilla hunched on the bed, brushing lazily at his blonde locks.

He seemed startled for a minute before setting down the hairbrush. He looked him up and down before smiling. “Blueberry, come here for a minute,” he said softly, patting the spot next to him. 

Blueberry Milk grinned before trudging over and flopping onto the soft mattress, his body slightly recoiling against it as he sat up against the headboard.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked, reaching out to run his fingers through Pure Vanilla’s hair. It was a lot more neat this time— compared to how he looked hours ago. Seems like the efforts Blueberry Milk had put in today had paid off, the saint looked well rested. 

“I really appreciate it, you have my biggest thanks,” Pure Vanilla gently nudged Blueberry Milks hand away from his hair before reciprocating the gesture, running the large brush through the beast’s soft, blue tresses. The eyes that adorned his locks gazed at Pure Vanilla, ever so slightly drooping. 

“Don’t sweat it, you looked tired, and..” Blueberry Milk’s voice drifted off as he glanced at Pure Vanilla. “Nill, have you been taking care of yourself lately?” He asked, his voice now low. 

Pure Vanilla Cookie’s brushing motion went to a slight halt before he continued again, nodding his head. “I’ve never felt better! Do not fret,” he said enthusiastically, his smile genuine but was laced with force. 

He could feel anxiety beginning to rise in him once more at Blueberry Milk’s question, his brushing turning more and more quicker paced. “Nilly?” Blueberry Milk slightly turned his head, confused why his hair was practically being tugged at. 

There was no response, Pure Vanilla’s movements growing more erratic. He seemed completely lost in thought. Before the hairbrush suddenly caught a piece of hair, sending a slight tinge of pain through him. He yelped, grabbing Pure Vanilla’s hand who gasped as well, the brush falling off the bed. 

“You— I— are you alright?” Pure Vanilla finally spoke, his anxiety now at its peak. He couldn’t stop thinking about Blueberry Milk’s safety, and being questioned about his own well being seemed to make it worse. 

“I’m fine, that kinda hurts..” Blueberry Milk mumbled, rubbing at his head. The eyes on his hair were shut now, a reflection of his discomfort. Pure Vanilla seemed to not know what to say, only resting a hand on Blueberry Milk’s shoulder. 

He proceeded to start braiding his hair back to its normal state, tidying it up more effectively than when Blueberry Milk tried to do it himself. 

The sun had set at this rate, the room illuminated with the lamps resting on the desks around the room, soft fairy lights strung around the interior. After a couple of minutes Pure Vanilla finished delicately redoing Blueberry Milk’s  hair, humming to himself as he patted the sleek braid. 

“There, now-“ “Let me do yours next!” Blueberry Milk, without warning, snatched the hairbrush and grabbed Pure Vanilla’s shoulders, gesturing him to turn his back to him. “Ah— Blueberry Milk, i think im alri..” he stopped his protests, realizing that it wouldn’t hurt to be a little pampered. 

The beast enthusiastically ran the bristles through Pure Vanilla’s flawlessly unknotted hair, beginning to braid it shortly after it. Or at least.. trying to. It was rather sloppy, some strands not done in the correct order.

But Blueberry Milk was satisfied, crossing his arms as he stared at his work. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you? I’ll warm up yesterday’s leftovers!” he exclaimed, leaping off the bed and leaving the bedroom. 

Pure Vanilla, now alone, had also stood up before waltzing over to the white dressing table that was set across the bedroom. He bent over a little, leaning closer to the mirror as he flipped the braid over his shoulder. 

He felt his eyebrows furrow a little as he ran his fingers down the messy braid, slightly astonished. It was bad, really bad. And he smiled. He sighed before flipping the braid back over his shoulder, allowing it to hang down his back before leaving the bedroom. 

The same familiar smell of stew lingered in the air. Lately, his eating habits haven’t exactly been tracked correctly. He’d often skip meals to deal with stress, only to be reminded with this neglect whenever he’d find himself dizzy. 

Pure Vanilla pulled out a chair from under the table they usually sat at to eat, resting a hand on his head as he lowered himself. He was starving, it was evident. Seems like he finally realized this after Blueberry Milk set the hearty bowl of soup in front of him. 

Raising the spoon to his lips, he silently ate while his gaze was fixated on the table. Lately, he’s found himself constantly thinking of ways he could slowly get Blueberry Milk to prove himself to his friends. Sure, Pure Vanilla Cookie has already seen how much Blueberry has grown. But it wasn’t about him, it was about the other ancient heroes believing so. 

Maybe he could arrange something? But Blueberry Milk could be timid. Or maybe.. 

Pure Vanilla stopped eating, his mind flooded like usual making him lose his appetite despite the clear hunger eating away at him. Blueberry Milk noticed this, slightly confused at why he wasn’t moving his spoon anymore. 

“Pure Vanilla?” He perked up, meeting eyes with Blueberry Milk who seemed slightly worried. But he knew that if he tried to question it, the ancient would only continue to deny it like usual. Maybe a more sympathetic approach would be better?

“You look nervous. Just try to finish your food, okay?” He requested, fidgeting with his collar. His bowl was already emptied by then, but Blueberry Milk usually did not leave till Pure Vanilla was also done. 

It was on purpose. He knows his eating habits are usually hindered, so by remaining seated at the dinner table he figured it would encourage Pure Vanilla to try to eat. 

Fortunately, he picked back up the spoon and weakly sipped at it, still slightly holding back. His stomach grumbled again so he finally started to eat again, slipping a vegetable into his mouth. 

After a while it was mostly empty, and Pure Vanilla seemed satisfied. But his face was still a mix of sadness that he couldn’t quite brush off, a manifestation of his inner turmoil. 

Hopefully things with Blueberry Milk would distract him for the time being, despite it being the root of his paranoia. 

Chapter Text

Tired yet ever so restless. 

Pure Vanilla Cookie spent more time stirring around than actually getting in sleep. His mental health was at a clear disarray, overwhelmed by the turn of events this week. 

Just like that, it was morning once more. He had taken in an hour of finally drifting into slumber, the peacefulness quickly cut off by the suns rays seeping through his eyelids. Seems like Blueberry Milk was still not awake yet, given the complete silence in the home. 

Pure Vanilla, his vision ever so slightly obscured, found himself having to pat around in the night stand to locate his hairbrush. 

He started to undo the sloppy braid his hair was tied into from the other night— attributable to Blueberry Milk — the strands that of slight curls as a result. 

Per usual, he had errands to run. A more special one today though, he was invited by letter from a couple of familiars to a “small” gathering. Considering Pure Vanilla hasn’t been seen around as often, it’s only reasonable for a cause of concern. A little day out wouldn’t hurt, would it? 

He rubbed at his tired eyes, laying out his usual clothing. As the ancient dressed himself, it felt almost as if a light bulb had illuminated in his head. 

This could be a perfect opportunity to see just how well Blueberry Milk has improved. He could bring him along with him. 

Pure Vanilla discreetly cracked Blueberry Milk Cookie’s door to take a peek, wondering if he was still asleep. In fact, he was not even in the bedroom at all. 

“Huh?” Pure Vanilla audibly questioned, confused at the absence. The door was now pushed completely open, his head swerving as he took in the sight of the vacant bed. Blueberry Milk was nowhere to be found. 

Pure Vanilla could feel himself swallow as he moved from the doorway, patting the bundled up blanket that sat on the small bed. Nothing was under it. 

Slightly unnerved, Pure Vanilla turned and exited the bedroom, trudging downstairs to observe the atmosphere. Not even the familiar scent of blueberries was present, the air uncomfortably silent. Too quiet. 

The ancient had found himself searching every corner of the home, finally approaching the kitchens entrance. 

“Blueberry Milk?” He called out, edging closer before he felt a thin thread tugging at his foot. Unfortunately he took too long to process that, immediately being tripped. Without having time to realize he had fallen to the ground, suddenly everything had went dark. 

Considering the fact he was already anxious, this only added onto the stress, and he found himself clawing at something metal. A bucket was on his head. 

As he finally got it off after a minute of prying, he let out a gasp before looking up to see Blueberry Milk hovering over him. 

“That took you a while huh?” He asked, a sly grin on his face. Unfortunately his tendency to play tricks on people has not vanished, often enjoying catching Pure Vanilla off guard. 

Still sprawled out on the ground, Pure Vanilla narrowed his milky eyes. “Blueberry Milk.” His voice was laced with a mix of patience and a tone that was an easy tell tale he was about to lecture him. 

He finally lifted himself from the ground, using his staff as support before brushing off himself. “Okay, okay in my defense I didn’t mean to trip you!” Blueberry Milk bargained, raising his hands in a mock-surrendering gesture. 

A grin was still plastered on his face though, and Pure Vanilla couldn’t help but also reciprocate his contagious smile. As much as he wanted to be upset, that was near impossible around such a lighthearted person.

“Just. Less traps next time, please. On another hand, I have something.. important to request,” Pure Vanilla continued. 

“Your wish is my command, your highness,” Blueberry Milk joked, proceeding to slightly bow his head while performing a curtsy. Pure Vanilla smiled, waving him off. “Oh, stop that. I’m just curious.. would you want to go out today?” 

Almost immediately Blueberry Milk perked up, his face slightly perplexed. It wasn’t a common occurrence for him to leave the house, especially considering he struggled socializing after being rehabilitated. 

He said nothing at first, his face blank before turning to face the ground. “I don’t think that’s a good id—“ “B-But it could help! You could grow more accustomed to talking to people!” Pure Vanilla piqued, a little eager about the gesture. 

He couldn’t help but feel like he was being pressuring, but at the same time it would be great to see just how much Blueberry Milk had improved. See it as some form of exposure therapy, perhaps.

Blueberry Milk didn’t respond again, his arms only crossed. 

“Okay, how about this. I’ll bake you whatever you want tonight if you come with me!” Pure Vanilla encouraged, still rather nervous if he was actually going to comply of him. 

“Fine. Don’t think im going easy on you though..” Blueberry Milk was about to leave the kitchen but was stopped, Pure Vanilla’s staff positioned infront of him. 

“Ah, wait a second. Your..” He points at the eyes on Blueberry Milk’s hair, implying he still looks like one of the main beasts people are on the look out for. Surely he was going to need a disguise if he was showing around others.

—

“This is scratchy! I don’t want it!” Blueberry Milk whined, pulling at the silky robe Pure Vanilla dressed him in. His hair was tied back into a large bun, he almost resembled that of milkmaid. 

He was propped on the seat in front of a vanity, practically pouting at the ancient. 

Pure Vanilla, ignoring his protests patted down the fresh clothes before pulling the hood of the robe over Blueberry Milk. A slight shadow casted over his head, soft pieces of blue strands framing his face. At least he looked like an average person now. 

“That’s the best i can do, I’m sorry if it’s not practical..” He said politely, still guilty about dragging the beast into this. Blueberry Milk’s facial expression softened, letting out a groan before poking Pure Vanilla. 

“Alright, stop with the droopy face. Is there any more annoying fabric or are we done?” He glanced at the mirror before scowling, surprised by how.. saint-ish he looked. As bothered as he was though, Pure Vanilla’s efforts didn’t go unnoticed. 

Still, the thought of possibly being surrounded by citizens. This could easily go wrong. 

Pure Vanilla was already pretty much ready to go, standing by the door and grabbing his hat off the coat hanger it was perched onto. He figured he would feed his sheep once he got back home, it shouldn’t take too long.

“Blueberry Milk?” He called out, his hand resting on the door knob. There was no response except the fact that the beast was clearly positioned behind a wall, his eyes glaring at Pure Vanilla. “Come on.. it’ll be fun, I promise” He said softly, a light frown on his face. 

He held out his hand and Blueberry Milk finally fully revealed himself, not making eye contact as he walked over and took ahold of the ancient. He really did appear a lot more sweeter, the white fabric complimenting his blue skin. 

“You look lovely,” Pure Vanilla smiled, hoping it would help him feel less nervous. He only rolled his eyes, fighting a grin as they left the home. 

It was bright and sunny like usual, save for a couple of clouds adorning the sky. The gathering was going to take place at the town square, an area that was always bustling with people. The two of them were quiet, the only noise being the rustling of Pure Vanilla’s fabrics and the sound of Blueberry Milk’s boots clicking against the ground. 

As they approached the heart of the area, the crowds of people only started to grow more visible. Blueberry Milk grumbled, his grip on Pure Vanilla’s hand only tightening as he took in the sight. “Is it always this populated?” He complained.

“You’re with me. Everything will be alright,” Pure Vanilla reassured, his eyes still focused forward. Deep down, he was just as worried as Blueberry Milk was. But of course he’d never show that. 

Without warning, a couple of young cookies ran over to greet Pure Vanilla, practically surrounding him. More and more people began to engage in small talk with him, not exactly realizing the person who was holding onto his hand.

“Well, if it isn’t Pure Vanilla! You seem tired as ever!” An older person with messy, white hair nudged Pure Vanilla with his elbow, a small child cradled in his arm. 

“Rum Raisin Cookie.. It’s good to see you!” Pure Vanilla responded enthusiastically, a little caught off guard by the rough jab. Blueberry Milk kept his eyes focused on him, observing his interactions with the others. He was impressed how he could even keep up with all these peoples names to begin with. It really showed his compassion for his people, didn’t it? 

A few kids had basically trampled Pure Vanilla with hugs, causing him to break the grasp he had on Blueberry Milk’s hand. 

His back was now fully turned as he continued engaging in small talk, a little overwhelmed by the loud banter. 

A couple of people at this point had constantly pointed out Pure Vanilla’s appearance, sometimes even mentioning how much thinner he looked. Or that he’s been absent for a while. An elder smiled, curious as they turned to Blueberry Milk Cookie. 

“Oh, and who might this be? You’re never usually accompanied, Pure Vanilla Cookie!” She exclaimed, and just like that the crowd's eyes had focused on him, a few people’s eyebrows raised. They all displayed such nauseatingly sweet smiles that made him shudder.  

He felt himself tense up, earning perplexed looks from a few children as he said nothing in response, overwhelmed by the sudden attention. Pure Vanilla finally looked back, feeling his heart drop at the sight of Blueberry Milk Cookie looking so uncomfortable. This was his idea, after all. So it was his job to watch over him, like always. 

He pushed his way towards Blueberry Milk before standing beside him once more. “Yes, this is a good friend of mine, Blueberry Milk Cookie. He’s.. in my aid for now, till he recovers from some.. injuries” Pure Vanilla continued, making gestures as he spoke. 

Such a saint telling a lie like that solely to conceal his identity? It was rather flattering for Blueberry Milk. 

“Aid? You’re the one that definitely could use some of that!” A child remarked, and the elder nervously chuckled before nudging the kid. “Marzipan Cookie, that is now how you speak to a fellow ancient!” She scolded, flushed. 

Another adolescent had shown up behind Marzipan, proceeding to approach Pure Vanilla. 

“But, He does look tired! He even has bandages!” The child innocently reached out curiously, and without warning tugged Pure Vanilla’s sleeve upwards. Caught off guard, the ancient could only stammer before the child was grabbed by the elder. 

“Oh dear..” He heard someone in the crowd mutter, embarrassed by the sudden pin pointing on himself. It went almost completely silent for a moment before he drew his hands back, maintaining a grip on his staff. 

“Ah.. I— These are merely for decoration, young ones. Do not fret,” He claimed, struggling to hide the clear discomfort he was experiencing. “Really? It’s cool!” Marzipan Cookie said, also moving forward to eye Pure Vanilla’s arms.

Although he was relieved they were no longer paying him any mind, Blueberry Milk only felt worse at the constant jabs towards Pure Vanilla. Still, he was too nervous to speak at all. 

—

After what felt like centuries of small talk, hugs and greetings, Pure Vanilla Cookie sat down on a bench, visibly disheveled. 

Considering that he too was often contained within his home as he cared for Blueberry Milk, it had been a while since he’s done this much social interaction. Naturally, it was draining. 

Of course, it was nothing but warm smiles and appreciative people around him, but it was still overwhelming. After the uncomfortable confrontation of his bandages and having to smile and nod at remarks, he just wanted to rest for a moment. 

Blueberry Milk on the other hand was dead silent. He had barely said anything the rest of time, only waving at people or mumbling responses to questions. 

Luckily, nobody had suspected him as Shadow Milk Cookie, which was the biggest concern for now. So at least that was out of the picture. “You sure you don’t wanna head home?” He asked, placing a hand on Pure Vanilla’s shoulder. 

The ancient, who was slightly leaning forward with his hands propped under his chin, only shook his head, denying as usual. He plastered a fake smile on his face. 

“Don’t be ridiculous! I love the company.” But his tired eyes, the way he fidgeted with his clothes and his posture said otherwise. 

Blueberry Milk knew this would go nowhere, so he simply muttered “alright..” before turning to stare at the ground. It was only a matter of time until people began to approach Pure Vanilla again, or pass by with friendly waves. 

A little girl with berries decorating her hair walked over to Pure Vanilla, a small bag in her hand. Next to her was what seemed of her parent, a short woman with a long dress.

“Um, Pure Vanilla? Sir?” She asked, slightly timid as she met eyes with Pure Vanilla Cookie. He perked up, giving her a warm smile. “Hello little one!” 

The girl looked up at her mother, who nodded. “Don’t be shy now, Soufflé Cookie!” She encouraged. It seems as if she wanted to ask Pure Vanilla for something but couldn’t quite speak up. 

“Well, I was just wondering, do you want to join that group over there for some games? We need one more person” She finally said, pointing at a crowd of children and parents. Not even taking the time to think Pure Vanilla stood up, resting his staff against the bench.

“Of course! Ah, will you be alright, Blueberry Milk?” He asked, turning to him. He knew that he was likely not going to tag along, considering the way his arms were crossed and his unamused face. 

“Uhuh,” Blueberry Milk nodded, not even looking up at Pure Vanilla. He was confused by Blueberry’s sudden attitude, but didn’t have the time to think before being dragged away by the little girl into the crowd. 

He felt insecure. Perhaps jealous, even. Seeing all those devoted followers of Pure Vanilla Cookie, so much people that loved him. They had no clue they were hanging around a person every cookie on earthbread likely wanted dead. 

Having gotten sealed for eons, his only sole purpose of creation being to possess the soul jam he no longer can call his. As much as he’s changed as a person, that fact will forever remain burned into his head. 

He couldn’t help but see himself as a complete and utter failure, but the warmth of Pure Vanilla’s care for him at least helped.

—

Chapter Text

Having lost track of time, Pure Vanilla said his goodbyes to his fellow cookies. He turned away from the crowd, his smile slightly faltering. It was undeniably evident he was tired. He knew he loved their company, the warm hospitality and care. Pure Vanilla was just less accustomed to it with how confined he’s been for the past time. 

Adjusting the large brooch that held his shimmering soul jam, he turned with a swoop of his robe to make his way over to the bench they were originally seated at, hoping to finally rest for now. 

He spotted Blueberry Milk, who had his eyes shut as his head was positioned back. It seemed as if he had fallen asleep, save for the bliss that was washed over his face.

 This is the most relaxed he’s looked all day, given the constant scowls he’d quickly hide and uncomfortable shifting of his body posture as they spent time around the others. 

Perhaps there’s a less stressful way to make him improve in socializing. Hopefully one with less of a crowd, but that’ll be near impossible with someone like Pure Vanilla accompanying him. 

In the most humble way possible. 

It was as if his heart fluttered at the sight, and Pure Vanilla quietly sat next to Blueberry Milk while making sure not to disturb him. He positioned himself closer, setting his staff onto the paved ground. 

After the long day, it couldn’t hurt to rest for a moment. 

As the Ancient felt his eyelids growing heavy, his head leaned against Blueberry Milk’s shoulder before hearing a suppressed snicker shortly after. His eyes shot up and they met with the beast, who was staring right back at Pure Vanilla. 

“Oh. you’re up,” He uttered softly, raising his head. Though he didn’t completely break the proximity, still brushed against Blueberry Milk.

“Never was asleep, you opportunist,” He replied, a smile spreading across his face. Pure Vanilla felt his face grow rather warm at the gesture, finally pulling away to clear his throat as he grabbed his staff. 

“Do you wish to go home? Or we could—“ “I think you know the answer to that,” Blueberry Milk interrupted, his face unamused. It was clear the feeling was mutual, Pure Vanilla giving him an understanding smile and rising from the seat. 

Ultimately, today wasn’t exactly successful on Blueberry Milk’s behalf.

—

It was still fairly early when they began to approach their home, Pure Vanilla’s hand slowly drawing away from Blueberry Milk’s embrace as he reached out to the door only to pause.

“Ah. I almost forgot again. I need to go handle the sheep, would you like to help?” Pure Vanilla began to retrace his steps to walk behind the house, his cape gracefully trailing after him. 

Every movement he made was so precise, so elegant. It was a reminder of his warm nature, something that was never short of the ancient’s demeanor. 

As Blueberry Milk processed Pure Vanilla’s request, he almost immediately took in flashbacks of the torment he had to go through to care for those stubborn herds of cream sheep too long ago, and narrowed his blue eyes before crossing his arms.

 “I'm good.” 

Caught off guard by the sudden defiance, Pure Vanilla frowned as he stopped walking to turn to Blueberry Milk. “N-No? Why not?” 

“They kept on running into me! I don’t know how you keep the patience for that,” Blueberry Milk mumbled, pausing for a second before looking up to see the pleading look on Pure Vanilla’s face. It was sort of humorous, though. 

“I’ll show you how to do it properly?” He bargained, earning a glare from Blueberry Milk. 

Blueberry Milk uttered something under his breath before walking past Pure Vanilla, greeted by the flocks of soft cream sheep. 

Their constant bleats to one another were almost agitating, Blueberry Milk fighting the urge to press his hands over his ears. They paid him no mind till the ancient had shown up, who proceeded to gently yet firmly tap his staff against the ground. 

As if he was a magnet, more and more lambs along with larger sheep made their way towards Pure Vanilla, their rectangular pupils locked onto him. 

He was relieved he didn’t need to call out to get their attention, not enjoying the idea of having to raise his voice. 

It was almost impressive in a way, how adhering they were compared to the way they acted around Blueberry Milk’s presence. 

“So precious,” Pure Vanilla whispered, crouching down as he ran his hand through the soft cream wool the lambs possessed. One of the sheep’s ears flicked, proceeding to nudge him from behind to get his attention.

 They clearly loved his presence, surrounding the caring Shepherd as if he was a hearty sample of grass they had discovered. 

Blueberry Milk watched in awe as he continued to tend to the cream sheep, finally standing back on his feet before waltzing over to grab buckets of grain. His robe had caught a bit of soil from the work, but it didn’t bother him. 

Having done this for years, a little dirt was that of child's play. 

He proceeded to dump the heaps of grain beside him, not even slightly bothered as the sheep pushed their way past him to get to the food. In fact, he was smiling. 

This could be the most content he’s felt all day, never failing to find comfort within taking care of his herd. 

Pure Vanilla hovered over and watched them as they ate their fill. His milky eyes, half lidded, noticed Blueberry Milk staring at him. “You are so sappy.” 

“Of course. They’re sweet animals,” He said, his attention averting back to the sheep. “Sweet my foot..” Blueberry Milk retaliated, nudging a rock into the ground absentmindedly. 

The air was filled with silence for what felt like hours. It was blissful, even. The sounds of the cream sheep brushing against one another, occasional bleating and huffs.

Pure Vanilla softly hummed, still monitoring the flock with his staff pressed into the soil.

 It wasn’t until he heard rustling in the distance that caught his attention, a foreign noise in the moment of peace. He glanced back at Blueberry Milk, whose eyes were fixed onto the sky. It wasn’t him. 

For a split second, the rustling stopped till it only grew louder, and Pure Vanilla realized the sheep were starting to back away towards him. 

He peered into the distance, locating the sound’s source. It was a struggle, given his weak vision. He had no choice but to approach it till a blur of something rather dark grew closer. 

A growl. Rather guttural, and it was clearly not an empty threat of noise. 

He squinted and met eyes with a small cake wolf, rather skinny and its frosting overlie with dirt. It looked hungry, immediately fixating on the well fed sheep that gathered behind the Shepherd. 

“H-Hey! Get away from that thing!” Blueberry Milk called out, realizing what was going on before dashing over to Pure Vanilla’s side. But he didn’t do anything, only staring down the wolf. 

It let out yet another growl, edging closer to Pure Vanilla who drew out his staff, nudging it towards the hostile animal. Without warning, it snapped at the staff, only to be met with a sudden burst of light. 

It let out a whimper from the flash bang, slightly stunned. The wolf was only further agitated now, ignoring Pure Vanilla and stepping past him, attempting to snap at one of the lambs. 

Startled, Pure Vanilla had no choice but to beam yet another flash bang towards the predator. It sparkled nothing but guilt, having to watch the way it would cowered away from him. 

It was just trying to survive, wasn’t it? 

He kept his gaze stern, his staff pointed at the cake wolf as a warning to not take another step towards the sheep. In response the hound had its eyes also locked onto Pure Vanilla before finally backing off, but still not fully giving up. 

Suddenly the wolf recoiled, seemingly as if it was experiencing pain. Given its disheveled appearance and clear malnourishment, it was only reasonable why it was so desperate. 

“Shoo! Go!” Blueberry Milk waved his arms erratically in an attempt to intimidate the canine, taking a step towards it before Pure Vanilla stopped him.

“Wait.” 

Pure Vanilla retracted his staff before handing it to Blueberry Milk, ignoring the perplexed look on his face. 

He turned back to the cake wolf before kneeling down, watching as it backed away further. Pure Vanilla held out his hand to it, trying to not scare it off. 

“It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you,” He whispered, lowering his head to look less threatening. The wolf did nothing, only baring its sharp teeth.

For a good minute it seemed as if the canine was lost in decision before it lowered its head as well, slowly approaching Pure Vanilla. It was still on high alert, yet its soft tail was tucked between its legs. A mix of fear and peril.

The cake wolf closed its mouth before it was only inches away from his hand, now sniffing the tip of his fingers along with its deep gaze still locked onto the ancient’s distinctly colored eyes. 

“It’s okay..” He repeated, allowing his hand to drift over the wolf's small head. “You’re just hungry, aren’t you?” 

It was startled by his sudden movement, quickly recoiling before snapping down onto his hand. He sucked in air through his teeth, fighting the urge to pull back but afraid it would only alarm the hound further.

“P-Pure Vanilla!” Blueberry Milk stammered, watching in anguish as jam seeped out through the wolves fangs that were now sinking into Pure Vanilla. He winced, biting down on his lip but remained with his hand in place.

Of course he could protect himself just fine. He could scare it once more, but the sympathy that chained his soft heart wouldn’t let that happen. 

Finally the cake wolf released its clasped jaw that detained Pure Vanilla’s hand, eyeing the jam that dripped down the ancient’s knuckles before dashing off into the bushes. He drew it back, balling it into a fist as Blueberry Milk crouched next to him.

As much as the bite wounds sting soared through his hand, Pure Vanilla could not bring himself to use his own powers to heal it. Even if this self-destructive behavior was repetitive, it served its purpose. 

Not after that war. Not after he failed to protect his own people. 

So, why should he deserve to bask in such privilege? A promising warmth of safety, never needing to feel like his life was threatened at stake. Just like those devoted followers of his, that lost theirs. 

To him, he would be better off letting that bite rot. To serve as a reminder than to be gone with a flick of his wrist, for every pang of discomfort to let him writhe in guilt. 

“Nill, let me see the wound,” Blueberry Milk begged, taking a hold of his crimson soaked hand to inspect it. As if it was instinctive, Pure Vanilla flinched at the touch before pulling it from the beast’s grasp.

Blueberry Milk peered down at him, his eyes narrowed with confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“I am alright. Do not worry about me” he reassured, hiding the injured hand before holding out the other, gesturing for Blueberry Milk to hand him his staff. 

He said nothing before finally pushing the tall prop towards Pure Vanilla, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. “Are you not going to heal it? Besides, I don’t understand why you would do that.”

“..Hm?” Pure Vanilla seemed caught off guard by the question, as if it was not his own idea to attempt to calm down a hostile animal. 

“You tried to pet it, Nill.”

“That is not it. I’m not sure why, but seeing it in such a state..” Pure Vanilla paused, glancing at Blueberry Milk. “..I could not bear seeing it so afraid. It’s almost like it was an instinct.”

The punctured wound that dressed his hand stung with every movement, yet he only continued to ignore his body’s pleads to be healed. 

“It was also malnourished. Starving. I understand why it wanted to go after my sheep. Perhaps I could’ve aided it.” Pure Vanilla continued, and seemingly mumbling off to himself at this rate.

It's almost as if that ideology resonated with a certain someone.

Blueberry Milk felt his body stiffen at Pure Vanilla’s words before letting out a sigh, already worked up as is. “I think you should get some rest. It’s been a long day,” he said, interrupting Pure Vanilla’s clear daze. 

“I suppose I should.” He smiled weakly.

—

“I’m almost done, quit that! You’re making me feel bad,” Blueberry Milk scolded, wrapping a thin gauze around Pure Vanilla’s hand. 

The two of them sat on Blueberry Milk’s small bed, a lack of distance between them as he attempted to aid Pure Vanilla, who lied he had healed the wound and it just happened to be recovering slowly. 

Such duff deceit, yet fit for a saint like him. Not even Blueberry Milk bought it, but he did not choose to point out the obvious. Pure Vanilla clearly had enough on his plate as is. 

He tugged at the fabric, tightening it which only earned another grunt from Pure Vanilla. “I’m not even being that rough, for witches sake..”

“Thank you, Blueberry Milk. I don’t think i need anymore— ghh!”

 Pure Vanilla whimpered, no longer being able to hide the clear pain he was experiencing from the constant pulling Blueberry Milk was doing with the gauze.

 It was clear he had absolutely no idea what he was doing— but Pure Vanilla still appreciated his effort regardless.

 If he tried to protest and demonstrate it, Blueberry Milk would just brush him off with yet another declaration that he knew the steps. “My friend, please just allow me to finish it. You’re struggling.”

“At least I’m not—“ another tug. “—Going around petting wolves,” Blueberry Milk shot back. It was getting harder for Pure Vanilla to tell if he was genuinely upset with him or not. 

He said nothing, watching Blueberry Milk as he finally secured the gauze. Or at least tried to, tucking the excess fabric under one another. 

“See? I know, I know. Hold the applause..” Blueberry Milk exclaimed, standing up. He was satisfied at the now decently bandaged hand.

 But the grin spread across his face quickly faded when he realized Pure Vanilla was not in the mood for his common theatrics, the ancient’s prevalent warm smile replaced with a blank expression. 

His eyes were shut like usual, but it was obvious he was sulking over something. 

Blueberry Milk silently sat back down, his arm brushing against Pure Vanilla. It was almost awkward, he quickly realized just how awful he was at comforting the person who usually had the upper hand in such gestures. 

“You sure you’re okay?” he whispered, earning a soft nod from Pure Vanilla.

 What was he thinking asking that? Of course Pure Vanilla was going to say yes. Perhaps actions would be more effective than words. Blueberry Milk hesitated for a moment before raising his hands— then his arms. He leaned forward and proceeded to hug Pure Vanilla. 

Caught off guard by the gesture, Pure Vanilla stiffened for a moment before feeling himself melt into the embrace. 

Blueberry Milk smelt sweet, as always. It was comforting. 

Pure Vanilla lowered his head, a sigh he didn’t know he was holding back escaping from his nose. Almost as if it was subconscious, his arms too wrapped around Blueberry Milk’s torso. 

Warm. Soft, and never failing to be a source of solace. He truly had changed as a person, didn’t he?

“I’m sorry.” 

Blueberry Milk raised his head, still hugging Pure Vanilla. “For what..?” he asked, slightly confused. “I’m.. just—“ Pure Vanilla’s voice started to crack, and that was the last thread to snap. 

All those pent up emotions, all the times he swore he was alright, it was about to pour out like a dam being held by a final rock. Without having time to register he was crying, he felt Blueberry Milk’s arms tighten further.

It sort of hurt, but almost in a soothing way. To be held so close, feeling the beast’s heart beat against his own. Even his tendency to suppress himself played into his tears, not even a single hic escaping Pure Vanilla’s throat. But the tears came and came, soaking Blueberry Milk’s top.

—

He finally pulled away from the hug, meeting eyes with Blueberry Milk. “Your face is wet, moron” Blueberry Milk smiled, bringing a hand to the ancient’s soft face. 

“Sorry about that..” Pure Vanilla mumbled, pointing at Blueberry Milk’s wet shoulder. He simply shrugged it off. 

“There you go again. Focus on yourself, Nill.” Blueberry Milk continued wiping at Pure Vanilla’s face, occasionally dabbing at his eyes before finally drawing his fingers away. 

“I think I will head to bed now,” Pure Vanilla whispered, rising as he avoided putting pressure on the injured hand. 

“Rest up, you definitely need it..” Blueberry Milk called out, Pure Vanilla giving him one final smile before gently shutting the door behind him. 

As he made his way down the hallway, he felt the wound that was now concealed under layers of gauze beginning to tingle. He stared down at his hand before instinctively beginning to scratch at it. 

Pure Vanilla felt guilt clawing down on him as he began to unwrap the bandages once his door was shut, undoing Blueberry Milk’s hard work. 

He sat on the bed, still fixated on the wound before proceeding to jab at it. His eyes shut, he grimaced at the fresh sting, but could feel his heart asking for another release of the pain. 

Such irony, a healer inflicting his own suffering.  

—

Chapter Text

—

Stinging pain. A deep one. 

Pure Vanilla opened his eyes, the sensation of his left arm completely sticky. For a moment, he could not register what was happening till he sat up, only resulting in the burning sensation spiraling further. 

Slowly, he averted his attention down to his hand before his heart sank. 

Deep crimson dressed the once white bed sheets, the open wound on his hand beginning to crust. He had gone too far last night, relapsing yet again with his tendencies to commit volitional harm on himself. 

Pure Vanilla rose from the bed, his feet meeting the ground as he tried to make sense of how so much jam managed to seep out his hand. He could’ve sworn he bandaged it back up— it was utterly impossible for such an accident. 

But the deed had stared right back at him, serving as a rather loud reminder for what he had done. 

He began to undo the sheets that clung to the mattress, bundling up the soaked fabric in his arms. He couldn’t let Blueberry Milk see this. Not ever. 

Pure Vanilla, his movements haste stuffed the sheets into the laundry basket, hesitating for a moment before proceeding to cover up the basket as well.  

He wouldn’t have time to deal with that today, as he had more errands to run throughout the village. 

At this rate, the sun had still not risen. It was approaching dawn. How odd, considering Pure Vanilla almost always wakes up at sunrise. Seems like this night was filled with nothing but questions. 

But the time was the least of his concerns. He made his way to the bathroom, turning on the faucet before wincing. 

The warm water stung the wound only more, the sink quickly being painted with the watered down jam. Pure Vanilla watched as it made its way down the drain, reaching for the gauze for what felt like the hundredth time this night. 

He snuck a glance at the mirror as he tended to the injury, taking in the sight of the pieces of blonde hair that stuck to his face. 

He looked like a complete and utter mess. 

It felt like his dark circles had only grown worse, save for his bright eyes, the only thing that was preventing the ancient from looking even more dreadful. 

Seems as if all the time he spent working himself up to help Blueberry Milk in rehab had long gone caught up. Too bad, one can only get so far with their self-neglect. 

Frustrated, Pure Vanilla let water pour onto the non-bandaged hand, splashing it onto his face. Didn’t exactly make him any less tired, but it was refreshing. 

As the water dried up, he finally raised his head once more, staring back up into the mirror before seeing a haze of blue in the doorway. 

Startled, Pure Vanilla began to rub at his eyes, turning to see Blueberry Milk staring back at him. A mix of relief and surprise, Pure Vanilla lit up, smiling at Blueberry Milk.

“Ah, d-did I wake you up? How are you?” But as his question drifted off, Blueberry Milk said nothing. In fact, he was scowling at him. 

Blueberry Milk’s arms were crossed over his torso, his appearance slightly off. The prevalent, large braid that Pure Vanilla always tied Blueberry Milk’s hair into was unraveled, and black and blue tresses of long hair had swirled around his body. It was a rather pretty sight, surprisingly. 

Unfortunately, the sour face he dressed with canceled that out completely. 

“..Blue?” Pure Vanilla asked again, beginning to fidget with his nightgown. What was it this time? Did he see the sheets? 

“How long are you going to keep this up?” 

The question was so blunt, coated with such recondite that it nearly caught him off guard. 

“…Keep what up?” Pure vanilla smiled nervously, attempting to make light of the impenetrable atmosphere. It was futile, seemingly only causing Blueberry Milk’s glare to deepen. 

Something was off about all of this. Was he always awake so early? 

And why.. Did he look so different? 

Blueberry Milk’s eyes had slightly darkened at this point, something felt so familiar about it all, yet Pure Vanilla could not quite wrap his finger around it. 

Before he could realize Blueberry Milk was approaching him, he flinched as he felt sharp fingernails digging into his shoulders. 

He had seized Pure Vanilla, his breath slightly ragged before leaning forward. 

“This facade of yours, it’s nauseating. You don’t need to keep pretending you care about me.” 

Pure Vanilla’s brows furrowed at the accusation, feeling his heart ache as he tried to maintain a gap of proximity between them. 

 “What are you talking about? I do care about you! I don’t understand where this is coming from, Blue.” He said, his voice laced with a mix of frustration and plead. 

Blueberry Milk finally removed his hands from Pure Vanilla’s shoulders, only to immediately retaliate with a hard shove. The ancient was now pushed against the sink, save for his hands, preventing Blueberry Milk from being able to press him down any further. 

“Stop it! What are you—“ Pure Vanilla’s eyes widened as Blueberry Milk loomed over him, only to realize the beast’s appearance was completely different now. 

He was Shadow Milk Cookie again. 

“What..” his voice trailed off, and suddenly his throat could not form any more words. As if he had never learned how to speak to begin with. 

“Go ahead. Show your true colors. I bet you’re so perfect, aren’t you?” Blue..No. Shadow Milk shouted. “If it isn’t Pure Vanilla Cookie, the saint loved by everyone!” He proceeded to plaster a mock smile on his face, batting his eyelashes. 

“Such a bright and innocent king, aren’t you? Would never hurt a fly, yes yes, of course! And yet..” 

He proceeded to grab Pure Vanilla’s arm, lifting the long sleeve of his nightgown to reveal the rows and rows of bandages that dressed the ancient. 

“..He just can’t seem to not do it to himself, can’t he?” Shadow Milk grinned, and without warning he tore the layers of gauze off Pure Vanilla’s arm.

“Ah.. there we have it. Your sweet, understanding little lamb, adorned with his own doing! So much for being perfect, no?” The beast only continued to taunt Pure Vanilla, tracing his hand down the thin, rough scars that were made of his arm. 

“STOP!” Pure Vanilla, now agitated, finally nudged Shadow Milk away from him, vulnerability with a tinge of insecurity beginning to wash over him. 

He felt disgusting. The way Shadow Milk gazed at his arms, and how he could do nothing but cross them over one another in a futile attempt to shield himself. 

“Stop? Oh, of course. But did you stop to protect them?” A sinister smile spread across Shadow Milk’s face, grinning from ear to ear as he continued with his verbal torment. 

“Think, Nill. The dark flour war. Did you ever stop to go and save your people? Or did you run off like a little sheep trailed by a wolf?” At this point, Pure Vanilla felt a lump forming in his throat. 

He wanted to defend himself. To do anything. But nothing could change the fact that Shadow Milk was right. 

“That’s not what happened.” Pure Vanilla said sternly. He was fighting to conceal the fact that his body was shaking, a reflection of his inner struggle to keep himself together.

 “Really? Then, tell me. Every wound you open. Every slit you drag into your dough. What's the reason behind it?” 

Shadow Milk sighed, satisfied at the sight of Pure Vanilla’s glassy eyes. 

“I’ll answer it for you. You’re GUILTY.” He shoved Pure Vanilla again in a fit of taunt, letting out a low chuckle before reeling in closer to the ancient. “Pfft— either that, or you hate yourself. Clearly, you are not mentally stable.”

Shadow Milk trailed his pristine fingers once more over Pure Vanilla’s scarred arms. It was gentle, so tender, a disgusting parallel of his demeaning words. 

A lack of hesitation, Shadow Milk lowered his head before raising Pure Vanilla’s hand to his face, planting a kiss on the ancient’s wrist. “You think you’re good at hiding it. But you’re not. Everyone sees it, Nill.”

“To top things off, you’re that of a zombie! Yeesh, has anyone even bothered to tell you that?” Shadow Milk eyed Pure Vanilla up and down before smiling. 

“Walking around town with messy hair, your eyes sunken in.. Such an image to set for a ‘leader’ wouldn’t you say?” 

“Stop.” Pure Vanilla spoke weakly, his voice raspy. “Please. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong to you. Blueberry Milk, I need to you to come back to your senses—“ 

“Oh the witches' sake, would you GET OVER YOURSELF?” Shadow Milk cut him off, his voice full of nothing but malice.

He paused for a moment, seemingly considering something before narrowing his eyes. “Ahh, Fine. Come back to my senses, you say?” 

Shadow Milk proceeded to morph, his form shape-shifting with a disgusting twist. His hair swirled back into a braid before he brought his hands to his face, plastering a soft smile across it. 

He retreated into the form of Blueberry Milk, and yet if did not feel as if it was the same person. 

Despite the fact he’d reverted back to normal, holding that same appearance, the uncanny energy that radiated from the beast was an easy tell-tale that this was not the same Blueberry Milk Cookie.

Pure Vanilla couldn’t take it any longer. He averted his eyes to the ground, his breath shaky. He couldn’t look at Blueberry Milk, not like this. Not after what he had just done. 

“Nill..” Shadow Milk’s voice was that of a mock softness, a gentle trill that only Blueberry Milk could possess. It sent a shudder throughout Pure Vanilla’s body, a dance of unnerve and uneasiness. 

“Enough of this.” Pure Vanilla demanded, correcting his once hunched posture as he was still huddled against the sink, attempting to hold himself up a little better.

“Nillll…what’s wrong?” It was cruel. How well he played the act, how nauseatingly sweet the articulation of the beast’s vocal tone was. 

“Look at me.”

‘Blueberry Milk’ moved closer to Pure Vanilla, a small grin dressing his soft face. “I’ve been good, haven’t I?  I thought you were proud of me.” He leaned closer, his face now inches away from the ancient’s.

 But Pure Vanilla kept his eyes fixated on the ground. Even if it was growing impossible to ignore it. The familiar sweet scent that would always trail Blueberry Milk, his gentle demeanor radiating off him. 

Pure Vanilla tensed as he noticed the frilly sleeves of Blueberry Milk approaching his torso, his arms beginning to wrap around the ancient’s body. 

“See? I'm back. The cruel beast you had ‘cured’, didn’t you?”

No response. 

“Nilly, please.. Look at me. I need you right now. Isn’t that what you love? Don’t act like you never enjoyed seeing me cower as you went off about my REHABILITATION,” he spat, his sweet voice underlying with a sinister edge.

The bathroom was completely silent, save for the occasional sound of water dripping from the sink’s silver faucet. 

 “I’m perfect now, just the way you wanted me to be, aren’t I? Surely those friends of yours would be proud, hm?” His fingers drifted to Pure Vanilla’s neck, who still kept his gaze on the ground. 

A pathetic attempt of defiance, if you must. 

“How codependent I must be, no? You love it, don’t you? Must be nice having another person wrapped around your selfish finger, isn’t it Pure Vanilla?”

His words only cut deeper.

Pure Vanilla held nothing but good intentions. He saw through Shadow Milk’s threats and anger when they had first encountered. Only he knew it was nothing but a mask of his true pain, and Pure Vanilla wanted to save him. 

He did not go through those weeks on end of attempting to console the beast for nothing. The days and days of comfort and teaching, it was not done with the intention of exploiting him. 

So, why did he feel this way? 

“I suppose I can understand, given how quick you were to run off during that war..” Blueberry Milk’s cruel grin set off something within Pure Vanilla that he himself did not understand. 

That was his final straw. 

“I SAID ENOUGH!” Pure Vanilla snapped, shoving Blueberry Milk with an overwhelming strength he did not usually demonstrate. The beast stumbled back before his head struck the wall, a force that reverberated through his body. 

Pure Vanilla watched in distraught as Blueberry Milk fell to the ground, jam seeping down his face at rapid pace. He fell unconscious. 

“No.. no wait, wait..” Pure Vanilla pleaded, running over to Blueberry Milk as he fell to his knees. He gently placed a hand to lift the beast’s head, only to be met with his dazed eyes. 

He’s not breathing. 

“Stop.. stop. This isn’t funny. Shadow Milk, enough of this..” Pure Vanilla's hands started to shake as his gaze rapidly shifted from Blueberry Milk’s crimson face to the red streak that spread across the wall, clear evidence of Pure Vanilla’s blunt force. 

He observed Blueberry Milk’s face. His left eye no longer had that distinct mark Shadow Milk possessed. 

It was never Shadow Milk there to begin with. 

Pure Vanilla’s heart began to race, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he shook Blueberry Milk’s shoulders.

 “No. Nononono, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. WAKE UP! PLEASE THIS ISN'T FUNNY!” He shook him more erratically, yet no matter how much he swayed Blueberry Milk, it would not bring him back to life. 

A realization set in over Pure Vanilla. He had hallucinated the whole thing. 

There was no Shadow Milk. Blueberry Milk must’ve been just checking up on him. And yet now there he laid, his eyes rolled back as jam painted Pure Vanilla’s hands. 

Hot tears escaped his eyes, the sobs that escaped his throat broken up as he choked on nothing but air. Pure Vanilla pulled Blueberry Milk closer to him, his body only beginning to grow more cold as cracks trailed over his head. 

He was crumbling. 

“No— no wait— wait!” Pure Vanilla pressed his hand against Blueberry Milk, a warm glow radiating from it as he attempted to heal him. I couldn’t be too late. He could still save him. 

As he continued to send swirls of magic throughout the crumbling body, everything began to go dark. He looked down at his hands to see the magic was not working. 

In fact, only more jam had covered them at this point. 

——-

———

— 

“NO!”

Pure Vanilla shot up, gasping for air as he gripped his chest. He began to hyperventilate, his head racing. His shout had echoed throughout the room, quickly bringing him back to his senses.

He was in his bed, and soft rays of sunlight poured through the white curtains that adorned his windows. Almost as if it was a reflex, his eyes gazed down at his hand. 

It was clean and bandaged. No jam dousing the sheets. 

His heart pounding against his chest, Pure Vanilla had broken out into a cold sweat as he sat up, bringing his knees to his chest while continuing to cling to himself. 

Just a nightmare. 

Chapter Text

He heard the sound of boots clicking behind them before it shuffled to a stop— directly behind him.

“Hello? Earth to Vanilla?”

 Blueberry Milk hovered over Pure Vanilla, who had sat at the dining table. He looked tired as usual, his head slightly tipped forward as he fought off his drowsiness. 

A shame. Unfortunately, dreams where one takes the life of the person important to them isn’t exactly going to leave them feeling well rested.

“Good morning, Blue.” Pure Vanilla said softly, mustering up a smile. He was avoiding looking at Blueberry Milk. It wasn’t personal, but after last night it was becoming increasingly difficult to play it cool.

Blueberry Milk mumbled something under his breath, moving away from Pure Vanilla before also taking a seat at the table.

Pure Vanilla could hear the noise of cereal being dumped into a bowl, immediately followed by the rather loud sound of crunching. 

He began to space out, the nightmare replaying over and over within his mind. Any time he’d imagine how Blueberry Milk had laid lifeless on the ground, his heart would skip a beat again. 

Disturbed, Pure Vanilla folded his arms against his body, looking for some form of comfort within himself without making it blatantly obvious he was in distress. 

Suddenly, he felt something pelt his head, breaking him out of his daze.

More pelts. Slightly irritated, he raised his head to meet eyes with Blueberry Milk, who had pieces of cereal pressed between his fingers. 

Pure Vanilla had glanced down to see the grain sitting by his feet, but his poor vision made that near impossible. Blueberry Milk took yet another opportunity to pelt him. 

“Blueberry Milk Cookie.” His voice was gentle, but stern. 

He let out a dramatic sigh, tipping his chair back. “Okay, okay. It’s just.. you look so—“ he threw another crumb at Pure Vanilla.“— Dreadful.”

“I would appreciate it if you stopped,” Pure Vanilla muttered, brushing it off as it landed directly in his hair. 

His usual soft demeanor was replaced with a tinge of frustration. He could not understand why his patience was flayed this morning. Blueberry Milk cannot control what he dreams, and taking his feelings out on him would not change anything. 

Pure Vanilla was well aware of that. 

“Fine. I’m just trying to cheer you up. You gonna finish that?” 

Blueberry Milk pointed at Pure Vanilla’s now cold muffin that sat practically untouched on his plate, save for the slight picks and nibbles. He was too stressed to eat, per usual. 

He shook his head no, gently pushing the plate towards Blueberry, who glared at him. “Not as in ‘I want it.’ You need to eat, Nill.” 

“I am not hungry. It’s alright”

Pure Vanilla could feel Blueberry Milk staring daggers into him, but chose to keep his gaze fixed onto the table. Hoping to change the conversation, he finally turned to meet eyes once more. 

He felt his heart leap as he gazed at Blueberry Milk, fighting off the memories of the nightmare from last night once more. This was mental torture.

“Blue, I was wondering. How do you feel about me?” 

The question was unusual on his behalf, striking a moment of perplex over Blueberry Milk. He couldn’t help but wonder if that’s why Pure Vanilla seemed so distant since yesterday. 

“What do you mean?” His voice was muffled as he shoved another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. It was bizarrely reassuring in a way to Pure Vanilla that he didn’t seem too bothered by the question, at least. 

“I’m not sure— it’s just. I hope I don’t come off as a bother for you. You do enjoy being here, yes? You can tell me” the words began to spill out finally, a projection of Pure Vanilla’s paranoia. 

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re not too bad yourself, I guess..” Blueberry Milk felt oddly flustered that he was voicing he liked the ancient. Of course, they’ve had their ups and downs.

But ultimately, they were close to one another. It would be a fool’s play to disagree. Though their relationship wasn’t anything new, to be verbal about it felt a lot more intimate than it needed to be. At least for Blueberry Milk. 

It’s funny. He’s fine with things like hugging Pure Vanilla, and sometimes even staying in the same bed. Yet, he couldn’t even muster up the courage to express he was fond of him. 

Just another odd warp within their bond. 

“That’s a relief..” Pure Vanilla whispered to himself. Although it did not cure his stress, it surely helped.

 As if subconsciously, what had played out in his head earlier had led to his own worries about what Blueberry Milk actually thought about him. The way he had spoken as if Pure Vanilla was as far as being selfish, it sparked insecurity over the ancient.

The more he thought about the way he scowled at Pure Vanilla, how he called him selfish, and seemingly enjoying his ‘forced’ rehabilitation of Blueberry Milk. 

Was it his own mind? 

“Where is this coming from? Hit your head or something?” Blueberry Milk added, swaying his feet underneath the table. At this rate he had finished his food, but remained in his seat.

Ultimately, he did not hate Pure Vanilla in any form or matter. At the beginning of it, of course his resentment was still held. Overtime, Blueberry Milk found himself to grow less worked up, but. 

At least he was aware of how to have self control.

“It’s nothing bad, I just want to make sure you’re not uncomfortable,” Pure Vanilla replied, still not quite looking forward. 

“You worry too much.”

Deciding not to push it any more, Pure Vanilla murmured a low “I understand” before rising from his seat. Immediately he stumbled, his legs swaying before grabbing the table for support. 

Momentarily, it felt as if the world was a carousel, the atmosphere blurring as he struggled to maintain his composure. 

“H-Hey, take it easy!” Blueberry Milk stood up to help Pure Vanilla steady himself, who was on the verge of fainting. 

He nudged Pure Vanilla back into the seat, his hands pressed down onto his shoulders. 

His poor diet was yet again coming back to haunt him, considering that he could not even remember if he had had anything to eat the entirety of yesterday. Accompanied by fatigue, it was inevitable Pure Vanilla would end up this way, sooner or later. 

But for some reason, Blueberry Milk did not feel as if he was obligated to try and talk Pure Vanilla down. Of course he wants him to take care of himself better. But it would always feel awkward whenever it’s brought up for his well being. 

“Just.. Just try to eat. It’ll probably help you feel better,” He said, nudging the muffin towards Pure Vanilla who finally took a bite out of it. 

He watched him eat, his brows furrowed before going back to sit down. Every time Pure Vanilla brushes things off, claiming he’s perfectly fine. It only left Blueberry Milk feeling distant. But who was he to try and stop him? 

Any time Pure Vanilla would come out of his room at night, the bandages on his arm only growing, Blueberry Milk would say nothing. 

It was awkward, to say the least. At least he cared though. 

After a couple of minutes of silence, Pure Vanilla set down the empty plate before resting his head against his hand. Blueberry Milk couldn’t help but notice that the bandages on it had shifted, indicating it was undone before. 

“..What would make you feel better?” Blueberry Milk asked. 

“Huh?” 

Pure Vanilla’s confusion seemed to send a fit of embarrassment through Blueberry Milk, not quite being able to voice what he was insinuating. 

“I’m trying to help! You look so grumpy, go back to having that stupid smile or something!” He reached out before taking a hold of Pure Vanilla’s soft face, slightly pulling it. 

“Blue—“ Before he could protest, Blueberry Milk tugged at his arm and pulled him up to his feet. 

“Hush, I know something nice we could do.” 

                             —

The temperature outside was a lot warmer than usual today. Pure Vanilla raised a hand to fan at his face, only to see that Blueberry Milk was glaring at him.

 “Don’t complain about being hot when that’s what you’re wearing,” He said, jabbing at Pure Vanilla’s layers of robe and cloth. 

“Blue, you are the one who took me out here.”

“Whatever.” 

He had taken the hand of Blueberry Milk, who was dragging him behind the small home. The ground was adorned with colorful flowers, soft colors freckled amongst the grass.

The cream sheep that were scattered around were loud with their bleating as usual, a few lambs occasionally trailing after Pure Vanilla. 

He tried to stop to pet one, only to be met with an annoyed tug from Blueberry Milk.

 “We don’t have all day! Move it!” Finally they eventually came to a halt, Pure Vanilla’s face of bewilderment as he watched Blueberry Milk practically throw himself onto the ground.

“Alright.. sit.” 

“Whatever you are up to, I am worried..” Pure Vanilla slightly lifted his robe as he lowered himself, reciprocating Blueberry Milk’s position.

“Relax. It’ll be fun!” He sat up before reaching over to pluck a long dandelion out of the ground, eventually gathering a handful of the flowers within his palm. “Actually, could you turn around?”

“W-Why?” 

“Just do it. It’s a surprise!” 

Slightly perturbed, Pure Vanilla sighed as he shuffled around, facing his back to Blueberry Milk. He heard the noise of the flowers being twisted around, save for the occasional irritated grumbles from Blue. 

Pure Vanilla was used to his short temper at this point. It was second nature. 

Looking for something to keep him busy, he noticed a cream sheep standing nearby and clapped his hands. It seemed startled for a moment, meeting eyes with Pure Vanilla before rising. 

He patted his lap, allowing the heavy sheep to rest atop it. Running his hands through its soft wool, he lowered his head while humming. 

“You and those sheep..” Blueberry Milk commented, still busy with the flowers he had continued to fetch out of the tall grass. 

“Haha, do you wish to be in its place? You could join,” Pure Vanilla quipped, finally smiling for the first time today.

It seemed the question caught Blueberry Milk off guard, judging by the choked sound that escaped his throat. While Pure Vanilla couldn’t see him, it was clear he was embarrassed.  

“You— No!” He shot back. He was suddenly extremely grateful that his  face was not visible to Pure Vanilla, considering how flushed it was. 

At least Pure Vanilla’s mood has improved a little now. Leaving the house surely helped, and Blueberry Milk couldn’t stand the idea of having to see him wander around for the rest of the day sulking. Whatever it was about, he wanted to distract Pure Vanilla from. The rather kind gesture might’ve been the bare minimum, but he saw it as an effort. 

The sheep that laid on Pure Vanilla’s lap shuffled, nuzzling against his torso. He felt himself smile again, letting the morning’s breeze brush onto him.

It was rather therapeutic, a fresh breath of air in contrast to his spiraling mind. 

5 minutes later, “Pure Vanilla, you can turn around now.” It felt odd hearing Blueberry Milk fully address him. His voice was always pleasantly sweet in a way that Pure Vanilla was fond of. 

Pure Vanilla turned his head, avoiding moving his body as the sheep was still leaning against him. He peered down at Blueberry Milk’s lap to see rows and rows of dandelions tied into a crown, held together by delicate blades of grass. 

“Oh, it’s wonderful, Blue. You did a great job!” Pure Vanilla praised, attempting to get a better look at it, as it was rather blurry from his perspective. 

A rather arrogant grin plastered across his face, he crossed his arms. “Excuse me? Of course I did! Hold the applause..” He exclaimed.

As witty as he sounded, deep down hearing Pure Vanilla’s praises had warmed his heart. 

The cream sheep softly huffed, finally rising from the ancient’s lap before moving to lay beside him. 

“Hold still” Blueberry Milk took a hold of the flower crown before placing it onto Pure Vanilla’s head. The bright yellow petals complimented his blonde tresses. 

He looked pretty.

Well, he always had been, it was undeniable. But Blueberry Milk did not exactly pay attention to that sort of thing till now. 

He could feel his face moderately growing warm before averting his gaze from Pure Vanilla. 

“You’re not going to make yourself one?” Pure Vanilla asked, shuffling closer to Blueberry Milk. 

“It’s okay, this was to cheer you up, y’know..” He mumbled. But Pure Vanilla simply smiled before leaning over and grabbing out a dandelion as well. 

“Please, allow me.”

                             —

Blueberry Milk sat behind Pure Vanilla with his head hovering over his shoulder, their hands brushing against one another. He guided the ancient’s fingers, helping him intertwine the flower stems. 

“Nill, you have to loop it..” He mumbled, nudging Pure Vanilla’s hand. Eventually he managed to tie a couple of the dandelions together, letting out a small sigh.

“It’s alright, I can do it now,” Pure Vanilla said, but Blueberry Milk continued to linger over his shoulder. “I wanna watch.” 

He continued to work his fingers over the flower stems, occasionally glancing at Blueberry Milk, whose face was directly next to his own.  The proximity between them was oddly affectionate, but Pure Vanilla didn’t mind it. 

It was nice, serving as a reminder that Blue was at least complacent with him. 

Eventually he had completed the crown. And though it wasn’t as pristine as the other one, it still looked lovely. Satisfied, Blueberry Milk finally moved away from Pure Vanilla, crossing his legs. 

“See? That wasn’t so hard was I—“ He flinched as Pure Vanilla suddenly raised his arms over his head. “W-What are you doing?!” 

Ignoring Blueberry Milk’s confusion, Pure Vanilla proceeded to gently place the flower crown atop the beast’s head. His face began to flush once more watching as Pure Vanilla practically leaned over him, adjusting the accessory. 

Pure Vanilla smelt exactly like a fresh vanilla pod, his soft hair brushing against Blueberry Milk’s face before he finally sat back down.

 “Someone doesn’t know personal space,” Blueberry Milk remarked, avoiding eye contact with Pure Vanilla. 

“Hm. Were you not sprawled out over my shoulder a couple of minutes ago?” 

“Touché.” He grinned. 

He watched as Pure Vanilla averted his attention to yet another sheep, immediately beginning to pet at it. He leaned over, planting a kiss on the cream sheep’s forehead. 

Blueberry Milk sneered, “Seriously, you have to cut that out. What if you catch something?” 

“Are you calling my sheep dirty?” Pure Vanilla side eyed Blueberry Milk, though the warm smile on his face did not make him seem menacing at all.

 “No. Well, maybe. They walk around in the soil all day.” 

“Ahh, I see. Perhaps you’re being a little covetous,” Pure Vanilla lowered his voice as he spoke, not wanting to alert the sheep that drifted underneath his hands. 

“Cov— What? I am not jealous of animals.” 

“I did not insinuate that, my friend.” 

Blueberry Milk rolled his eyes, lying down next to Pure Vanilla while keeping his gaze fixed onto the sheep. Was he actually bothered by it? 

No, that’s just absurd. 

He folded his arms, his eyes now narrowed as he watched the way Pure Vanilla affectionately caressed the animal, his eyes shut in complete bliss. Feeling as if he was being stared at, Pure Vanilla turned to Blueberry Milk only to see his rather sour face. 

He had tried to look away from Pure Vanilla and play it off, but the second he saw the ancient smirk in the corner of his eye, he knew it was futile. 

“..Blueberry Milk.”

He shut his eyes, attempting to ignore Pure Vanilla. 

“Blue, I know you’re not asleep.” 

“What do you want?” His tone was rather dismissing, still continuing to avoid facing Pure Vanilla as he laid down. At this point, the flower crown had tipped off his head due to the posture of his body. 

 “Come here.” 

It was such a gentle request that it nearly made Blueberry Milk’s heart skip a beat. He grumbled, finally sitting up before meeting eyes with Pure Vanilla, who proceeded to pat his lap. 

“You can’t be serious. I am not—“ Pure Vanilla silently leaned forward, tugging Blueberry Milk’s sleeve. He finally took the hint, lowering his head onto Pure Vanilla’s lap. 

“This is embarrassing.”

“Loosen up a little, won’t you?” Pure Vanilla began to rub Blueberry Milk’s head, who stiffened up at the tender touch. “You are so weird.” 

“Mhm..” Blueberry Milk’s jabs were absolutely empty. It was clear he was enjoying it, considering he eventually leaned his head against Pure Vanilla. 

Every time he felt Pure Vanilla’s hands tracing down his head, it was as if a shockwave was being sent through him. His hands moved with precision, sometimes drifting downwards to run his fingers through Blueberry Milk’s hair. 

It felt nice.

Blueberry Milk’s eyes fluttered, before they eventually shut. It was mostly quiet now, save for the soft sounds of wind lacing through trees in the distance. Eventually he gave in, nuzzling against Pure Vanilla’s lap. 

The moment of affection was probably never going to happen again, as Blueberry Milk is likely going to be embarrassed over it in a couple of hours. 

Might as well be a bit of an opportunist. 

Pure Vanilla glanced down, taking in the sight of Blueberry Milk’s tranquil face. He looked completely at bliss. For a moment, Pure Vanilla hesitated before moving his hand from the beast’s head to his face, lightly poking his cheek. 

No reaction. 

Now smiling, Pure Vanilla used both of his hands to squish Blueberry Milk’s face, enjoying this a bit too much. 

Unfortunately that was cut short, as his eyes shot open, only to immediately glare at Pure Vanilla.

“Nill, now you’re just pushing your luck.” His face was that of un amusement. 

“Oh— I’m Sorry. It’s just..” Another poke. “Your face is really soft.” 

“What am I? A toy? Get off me!” Blueberry Milk sat up and shuffled away, earning a frown from Pure Vanilla. 

“You could be a little nicer about it..” Pure Vanilla mumbled, twirling a strand of hair around his finger. 

Blueberry Milk said nothing, only grabbing the flower crown Pure Vanilla had made for him, placing it back onto his head.

Of course, he couldn’t stay mad at him for long. 

                            —

Chapter Text

Accompanied by a loud bang, the sound of glass shattering nearly deafened Pure Vanilla. It split into pieces as it hit the wall directly next to him, the aim barely a miss.  

Shielding his face with his arms, he looked up to see Shadow Milk preparing to toss yet another object at him.  

“Get out.”

Pure Vanilla paused before simply backing away from the doorway with a tight grip onto his golden staff.  “I understand why you may feel upset.” 

Pure Vanilla’s tone was soft, disgustingly gentle to Shadow Milk. His lack of anger, his serene patience. It only irritated the beast further. 

“But, I cannot let you—“  

“I SAID, GET OUT!” 

Shadow Milk was huddled in the corner of the room, his body pressed against the wall. 

He was trembling, a contrast with the rage plastered onto his face. He had gone into a state of panic, perhaps even fear when Pure Vanilla had once again tried to interact with him. 

Every day, every morning he would attempt to speak to Shadow Milk, only to be met with insults or weak threats. But he did not give up, simply dismissing him with a gentle smile before once again shutting the door. If he could not persuade the beast, it would be the least he could do to respect his boundaries.

Something that would show Pure Vanilla had no ill motives. That he was someone to trust. 

Rehabilitation was far from a simple task, Especially with such an unstable person. Shadow Milk had taken the offer, spending most of his time isolated within the home, and had resorted to lashing out onto Pure Vanilla as a coping method for his emotions.

Every sense of vulnerability, every welcoming smile displayed on the ancient’s face made him feel an emotion he could not quite decipher. And to handle this, was anger. Frustration, even.

He wanted to understand. He needed to understand. 

Pure Vanilla glanced down at the now shattered vase that laid in pieces around him, no longer identifiable of what it once was. He looked at Shadow Milk, who was facing the ground.

“Shadow Milk Cookie.” 

He moved closer into the room once more, using his staff to avoid the splinters of glass that dressed the ground. Immediately, Shadow Milk flinched before summoning his staff, pointing it at Pure Vanilla. 

“I should crumble you right here and now. Don’t you dare get near me.” His voice was shaky, and rather hoarse. But he himself knew that he would not win against Pure Vanilla. It was more so an empty threat — that of a perhaps a small cat, who would elevate its tiny back and hiss. 

But he could do damage. Pure Vanilla, well aware of this, respected Shadow Milk’s command and did not continue to pursue. But he clearly had no intention of moving.

 “Shadow Milk, just how do you intend for this to go on? Please enlighten me.”

The question broke him out of his blinded fury, his eyes narrowing at the ancient.

“With what, exactly? Your imprisonment of me?” While he wasn’t quite smiling, it definitely was not a frown.

“No. I did not imprison you. This was your decision, Shadow Milk Cookie. I am simply trying to do what I must—“ “You are so full of yourself,” the beast sneered. 

Pure Vanilla frowned, letting out a short exhale.

“If you do not wish to remain in this home, I will not force you, and I am sure you know that. So tell me, Shadow Milk Cookie. Do you truly desire to be better?” 

“..Or will you continue to waste both of our time?” Momentarily, Pure Vanilla opened his eyes to meet them with Shadow Milks. He maintained patience within his tone, treading lightly as he consoled him. 

Shadow Milk said nothing, taken aback from the direct confrontation. At first, he could only muster a scoff at Pure Vanilla, his arms folding.

He could not answer that verbally, and knew it wasn’t something he could deny. 

“Leave.” 

Pure Vanilla sighed, bringing a hand to his temples before lightly rubbing them. He didn’t move.

“I’ll give you three seconds to leave this room or I will deal with you myself. Three.” Shadow Milk’s grip on his staff tightened, the soul jam brooch that he wore darkening. Pure Vanilla still did not budge. In fact, he took another step closer, earning a glare from Shadow Milk. 

“Two.” 

He raised his staff, hovering it near Pure Vanilla, who simply stared at it with his face that of blankness. Perhaps even a bland surge of magic would put such an arrogant ancient in his place, even if it won’t hurt much. At least, from Shadow Milk’s perspective. 

He still did not make any effort to adhere to the hostile demand. 

“One.” 

Without warning, Pure Vanilla reached out and confiscated Shadow Milk’s staff and tossed it, his strength unexpected. Shadow Milk was caught off guard, his eyes widening. Before he had the time to react, suddenly his arm was being pulled at, and he was falling towards Pure Vanilla.

Bracing himself, Shadow Milk felt something tighten around his body. Pure Vanilla proceeded to hug Shadow Milk, his movements swift and with precision.

 He wrapped his arms around the beast’s torso, a hand pressed against the back of Shadow Milk’s head. He was smiling. So nauseatingly content. 

At first, Shadow Milk felt his body melt into the embrace, almost as if a warmed blanket had been thrown over his frozen body. As if it had ached to be thawed for years.

It felt good. 

Shadow Milk’s eyes fluttered, momentarily dazed before realizing what was happening. His face turned from fleeting peace to rage, a growl escaping his mouth. 

“GET— OFF!“ he began to thrash his body violently, but Pure Vanilla’s arms tightened to every ounce of resistance. Only more provoked now, Shadow Milk tried harder and harder to wriggle out from his grasp. It was futile. 

His body was weak, and he did not have much magic to support that. Not right now, at least. 

“LET GO OF ME!!” He screamed, only growing further exhausted from the constant squirming of his body. As Shadow Milk tried to escape Pure Vanilla’s hold onto him, he started to panic, his growls of frustration turning into whimpers.

Raising a hand, he began to hit Pure Vanilla’s back as a substitute for being too tired to move around any longer. It still was pointless, the ancient keeping him pressed against his body as if it was nothing. 

“Stop. Let me go! Let me..” Shadow Milk’s words trailed off, his voice cracking. The hug was so warm. So very warm, a genuine embrace of care and solitude. He could not comprehend it, his vision clouding with tears. 

“Please.” His words were muffled into Pure Vanilla’s shoulder as he finally reciprocated the hug, his arms hesitantly brushing against Pure Vanilla’s body. He was shaking. 

While his crying was silent, it was clear by how his body trembled in the ancient’s arms, the occasional hiccups that would escape his throat. It was too much. The hugging, the desperation Pure Vanilla had constantly shown him that he would not give up on him. 

The insatiable love that he endlessly showed for Shadow Milk was a sensation the beast had never felt. Such serenity. 

“Why? Why are you..” 

“Because we are meant to be together.” Pure Vanilla’s hand trailed lazily against the back of Shadow Milk’s head, gently stroking his hair. The tenderness of the gesture only brought more tears to the beast’s eyes.

“From now on.. I won’t let you feel such pain any longer. I am here for you. My friend, let me help you.” 

“I will give you everything you need, anything to fix this,” He whispered, tightening the hug. “You are in pain, and I cannot bring myself to hate you.” 

It hurts. Shadow Milk’s heart was aching, his body felt as if it were going to decay any second now. The vulnerability he had found himself in, it was so strong, to the point where he’d rather crumble than continue to endure it. 

And yet, he could not let go of Pure Vanilla. 

“I do hope you realize this does not mean it belongs to you.” 

With a sounded click, a small wooden box had shut, wielding the shimmering soul jam. 

Shadow Milk hadn’t exactly surrendered it, but he promised he would no longer have use of it. It was more so a hope though, as he would have to rely on his own self control to not obsess over the soul jam and the power it holds any longer. 

“I understand,” Pure Vanilla murmured as he kept his eyes on Shadow Milk. If he wanted to truly change, this was only necessary. 

Regardless, he was at least grateful that Shadow Milk was rather more docile now. A slight improvement, yes, but that did not mean he had completely changed his ways just yet. 

He took another look at the box before tucking it away, avoiding eye contact with Pure Vanilla. 

“..I suppose you’re going to try and crumble me in my sleep now?” He displayed an awkward grin. Though, Pure Vanilla did not find it funny. 

“Shadow Milk..” 

“I’m joking. Were you baked yesterday?” 

He mumbled something under his breath before shoving past Pure Vanilla, having had enough with interacting with him today. He still found him insufferable, but perhaps a little less now. 

“Wait.” Pure Vanilla began to approach him, hooking a hand onto his arm. Immediately, Shadow Milk flinched before scowling at Pure Vanilla. He swiftly pulled his arm away from the ancient’s grasp, backing away. 

Ignoring Shadow Milk’s blatant rudeness, he only smiled. 

“If it is not much, could you do me a favor?” Pure Vanilla’s eyes averted to Shadow Milk’s hair, only just now realizing he looked rather disheveled. 

“Do you ever get exhausted from bothering me?” Shadow Milk’s eyes were half lidded. “I would never grow tired of you, Shadow Milk.” 

He rolled his eyes at Pure Vanilla, making a lazy gesture with his hand. “What do you want?”  

“I know it’s not very practical, but hopefully you can be more comfortable now.” Pure Vanilla rose from the edge of his bed, taking in the sight of the large braid Shadow Milk’s tresses were now tied into. 

“And what is the point of this?” Shadow Milk was not even remotely grateful, only fidgeting with his hair.

“You seemed rather uncomfortable.”

“Y’know ya can just say I looked like crap, Pure Vanilla.”

The ancient frowned, unable to form a reply. He watched as Shadow Milk began to loosen the braid, but not completely undoing it. “If it’s tight, I can re-do it for you.” 

“I don’t need your help,” Shadow Milk said sternly, leaving no room for opposition. Irritated by Pure Vanilla’s kindness, he felt as if he needed some form of control over himself for once. 

Silent, he watched Shadow Milk continue to fumble with the braid before letting out a sigh. 

“Well. If you need anything, I’ll be tending to the sheep.” 

Pure Vanilla stole one more glance before approaching the doorway, patting the wall as he walked to avoid running into any obstacles. Finally, he grabbed his staff, placing a hand on the door knob.

But before he could even begin to turn it, a loud thud echoed throughout the bedroom.

Startled, he whipped his head back to see Shadow Milk on the ground. Considering now that his soul jam was absent, he did not possess the exploitative power that it harnessed. 

Shadow Milk could not float like he always does, and instantly realized he was not used to actually putting weight onto his legs. 

How embarrassingly pedestrian for someone meant to be so powerful.

Shadow Milk sucked in air through his teeth, glancing down at his feet. The fall was rather unstable, leading to a slight sprain that ached through the beast’s ankle. 

Feeling humbled, his eyes darkened as he saw Pure Vanilla rushing over to him. “S-Shadow Milk! Here— take my staff!” 

Hastily, he shoved the tall gadget towards the beast, who only glared at him. “I can get up by myself.” 

Shadow Milk arrogantly turned before placing a hand on the bed for support, attempting to rise to his feet. At first, it was successful, but the second he dared put weight on the sprained ankle, he began to sway once more. 

“Please,” Pure Vanilla pleaded, and Shadow Milk begrudgingly took a hold of the staff. 

It functioned almost like a walking cane, helping him hoist himself up more proficiently as he avoided putting the injured foot down. He sat back down onto the bed, the mattress slightly creaking under his body weight. 

“Just great..” Shadow Milk grumbled, wincing as he attempted to move the ankle. Pure Vanilla caught onto his discomfort, quickly kneeling in front of the beast.

“Allow me, please.”

He hesitantly wrapped his hand around Shadow Milk’s ankle, glancing up at him before beginning to heal it. Pure Vanilla shut his eyes, putting his concentration into the magic. 

Suddenly, Shadow Milk could feel his foot being enveloped in a warmth he had never felt before. It was slightly tingly, rushing in pulses throughout his leg.

After a minute passed, Pure Vanilla finally let go of his foot, slowly resting it back against the edge of the bed.

 “Is it alright now?” 

His voice was nurturing, a tone that made Shadow Milk’s brows furrow. His chest began to ache, as if the guilt he held was physically manifesting itself. 

The guilt of how he’d brush off Pure Vanilla’s care, his constant fear of vulnerability. 

His narrowed eyes softened into that of a neutral look, avoiding looking at Pure Vanilla. 

“Shadow Milk?” For the witches sake, was he always this bothersome? 

Well, that was not new to Shadow Milk. But in the moment where he’s considering actually being a nicer person, it was not helping. Once again, Pure Vanilla spoke. “If it still hurts, I can—“

“I feel fine.” His voice was monotone this time, compared to the usual roughness it would be laced with. 

Genuinely content, Pure Vanilla smiled warmly, only further pulling the guilt that stuck against Shadow Milk. 

“That’s a relief. Are you sure you can walk?” 

Shadow Milk looked down at the ground once more before glancing up at Pure Vanilla, who rose from the crouched position he was in as he healed the beast. 

Hesitating, he too also began to stand up, his legs trembling. Shadow Milk mumbled something under his breath, only immediately finding himself stumbling again. 

“S-Staff!” Pure Vanilla motioned it towards him, allowing Shadow Milk to completely grab onto it. Finally, he was standing at least. 

“This is embarrassing.” 

“Do not fret. I can provide you something better than my staff if you cannot walk” such genuine care. It was agitating. 

“I’ll be fine. It’s just been a while,” Shadow Milk stated firmly. He’d rather die than admit to someone like Pure Vanilla that he was weak. 

Feeling confident, he ignored the warning his legs were giving him as he shoved the staff back towards the ancient, fully standing on his feet now. “See? All good.” 

The quivering in his lower body said otherwise. Defeated, Shadow Milk let out huff as he sat back down. “But I’ll just sit down for now.”

“..Not as if I need to, or anything,” He added. Such childish arrogance. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling better now, Shadow Milk,” Pure Vanilla said, his eyes peacefully shut. It seems as if his staff provided sight for him, but Shadow Milk couldn’t be bothered to try to figure out how the ancient’s vision exactly worked. 

Still, it only made the efforts he was putting to tend to someone like Shadow Milk even stronger. 

He turned his head once more to the bedroom’s entrance before smiling once more at Shadow Milk. “I must go for a bit. Please, call me if you need anything. 

“Uh-huh, yeah.” 

Shadow Milk watched intently as Pure Vanilla began to trail over to the door, his long cape gracefully drifting behind him. At least he would have a break from Pure Vanilla for a little while.

And yet, something inside him begged for him to stay. 

“Pure Vanilla.” 

Halfway outside the room, he poked his head back into the room to meet eyes with Shadow Milk. “Is everything alright?” 

“…Thanks.” 

His voice was laced with such unexpected kindness that it nearly caught Pure Vanilla off guard. Was he actually thanking him for healing him? 

“Of course! I’ll leave you alone for now, Shadow Milk.” He finally shut the door. 

Pure Vanilla was gone. 

Shadow Milk being grateful wasn’t exactly a trait he possessed. Or to show any form of appreciation towards the other.

And perhaps, this would show to be the beginning of finally— a change. 

Opening his eyes, Blueberry Milk immediately squinted, taking in sunlight. Laying beside him was Pure Vanilla, who was practically squeezing Blueberry Milk in a tight embrace as he slept peacefully. 

The last thing he remembered was Pure Vanilla dragging him back into the home, proposing he was tired.

It seemed as if they had fallen asleep earlier, given the flower crowns that were laid by one another atop the nightstand. Blueberry Milk rubbed his eyes before attempting to escape Pure Vanilla’s hold onto him, but it was futile. 

“Nill.” 

Slightly annoyed, he nudged Pure Vanilla, but he was practically passed out. 

How can he have such strength to hold a person while being asleep? It was ridiculous to Blueberry Milk, who grumbled as he continued to try and wriggle out of the hug. 

Finally he slipped out of Pure Vanilla’s arms, and the ancient’s shut eyes began to flutter. He started shifting, almost subconsciously making a patting motion beside the now absent spot on the bed. 

Hesitating, Blueberry Milk hastily shoved a pillow into Pure Vanilla’s grasp, bliss washing over his face once more as he continued to sleep, putting an end to his moving. 

How nauseatingly sweet. 

Blueberry Milk let out a sigh of relief before rising from the bed, glancing back once more before discreetly opening the door. 

It creaked loudly, causing Pure Vanilla to shift his body again. He paused, the eyes on his hair intently staring down the ancient. He didn’t want to wake him up. Not right now.

Blueberry Milk let a minute pass before pulling the door further open, till there was a crack far enough for him to slip past into the hallway.

He didn’t bother to shut it, swiftly rushing to the very end of the hall until he found himself nearly colliding into another door. 

This felt like a betrayal to Pure Vanilla. He couldn’t help but feel his heart aching as he entered the dark room, his eyes meeting with a small wooden box that sat atop a desk. 

It was collecting dust at this rate— having not been touched for what felt like centuries. Blueberry Milk wouldn’t have been surprised if he opened it to see a cobweb. 

He felt himself swallow as he cracked open the box, a glint of blue flashing. 

He fully lifted the top of the box, taking in the sight of the soul jam— his soul jam, that stared back at him. Right, It’s his. It belongs to him. 

He could have it all back with one touch. His. power, his strength, that insatiable hunger that had been aching forever. 

With one touch. 

Blueberry Milk’s breath audibly hitched as he slowly raised a hand, bringing it closer to the glistening soul jam as he took a hold of it. It was warm, so inviting. Almost as if the gadget had been  waiting for this moment forever. 

For its owner to finally become one with it once more. 

Blueberry Milk bit his lip, raising the soul jam above his face to observe it. He angled it, turning it to the side and upwards as it drank in the sunlight, a beautiful sight. 

All it took was a moment of temptation. It felt like a magnet had latched onto his heart, Blueberry Milk closing his eyes as he drew the soul jam closer to himself. 

But before his mind drifted off, suddenly he began to think about Pure Vanilla. His smile, all the kind words he’d always speak before Blueberry Milk. His patience. 

Would it all be worth leaving those memories decaying in waste, all for a relapse of power? Would Pure Vanilla be happy with him?

Blueberry Milk sharply sighed before suddenly lowering his hand, tossing it back into the small box. As much as it pried away at his mind, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt Pure Vanilla again. 

He shut the box, placing it back onto the desk like it was meant to be. 

It was already leaving Blueberry Milk in enough guilt that he had even gone out of his way to go and search for the soul jam. He himself knew he improved— but it seemed as if his mind would not quite let go of what he once owned. 

And it will always be that way. 

He left the room, shutting the door behind with a sounded click. Pure Vanilla wasn’t likely going to wake up for a good hour. Blueberry Milk sighed again, sinking to the ground as he brought his knees to his chest.

He felt self-resent, constantly fighting an inner turmoil of not giving into his desires. After so long, he still could not stop thinking about the soul jam. After all the effort Pure Vanilla made, it felt like a disgrace.

For his own mind to be such a source of betrayal to the only person who seemed to care about him. 

How ignorant. 

Blueberry Milk nuzzled his face into his knees, letting out a groan. Just inside that room, held something that could change everything. 

And that was not going to happen as long as Pure Vanilla was around. 

He lifted his head, staring at the ceiling. The home was dead silent, not a sign of life hanging in the air. Blueberry Milk felt himself lift his hand before trailing it down his braid, his fingers feeling against the soft bumps. 

He always found himself doing that when he was stressed. After all, it was Pure Vanilla’s doing. That small gesture of kindness, it was all the start of his rehabilitation. 

Supposedly, hair truly does hold memories.

“Blue!”

He opened his eyes to realize he was still huddled against the door on the ground, looking up and seeing Pure Vanilla hovering over him. He looked beyond concerned, gripping onto his staff.

His hair was even messier than usual, indicating he had probably just now woken up from his slumber. 

“Uh—“ 

“Are you alright? You’re not hurt, are you? Can you stand?” Pure Vanilla rambled on, crouching before Blueberry Milk and placing a hand on the beast’s face. 

“Pure Vanilla. I'm fine..” He muttered, shifting his eyes to the wall. He couldn’t look at him, let alone handle how caring he was acting in the moment. “I was just.. daydreaming.” 

“But you're crying.” 

His brows furrowed, feeling Pure Vanilla’s hand rub against his face as he wiped Blueberry Milk’s cheek. Since when? Was it because of his guilt? 

“I-I don't.. it must’ve been.. ugh.” He was frustrated. Gently, Blueberry Milk nudged Pure Vanilla from his face, mustering a fake smile to hide his discomfort.

Pure Vanilla returned the smile, sitting down beside Blueberry Milk before shifting closer to him, setting his staff down as well. Their shoulders pressed against one another, no room for proximity. 

“What’s the matter?” He tilted his head. 

Blueberry Milk said nothing, only able to mumble unintelligible words in a whisper. It felt far too disgraceful to admit to Pure Vanilla that he went digging around for his soul jam. 

Of course, his silence only made the ancient more persistent, just like he always is. “You can talk to me, Blue. I don’t like when you run off like this.” 

He still said nothing to Pure Vanilla, who sighed in response to the silence. 

“…Do you want to talk about it?” His voice was a softened hushed tone. 

“Not really. I’m sorry.” Blueberry Milk lowered his gaze, still not facing Pure Vanilla. “It’s okay. I understand,” he said, wrapping his arms once more around Blueberry Milk.

Blueberry Milk, now completely turning his head to the ancient, whispered a hoarse “Thank you,” before reciprocating the hug. 

“Do you want me to stay? I can leave you to your thoughts if you want,” Pure Vanilla added. 

“Stay. Please.”

Chapter Text

A good hour had passed by, Pure Vanilla was still not home. Blueberry Milk let out a frustrated huff, continuing to pull thread after thread through the plushie he was sewing. His attention wavered for a moment before he felt the needle prick at his finger, drawing back his hand to see a light drop of jam seeping through.

“Ugh.” Blueberry Milk brought his finger to his mouth, ignoring the dull pain before resuming his work. Surrounding him was a rather large mess of materials— fabric and unsorted threads. 

If Pure Vanilla wasn’t present for him to bother, he almost always spent wasting hours away sewing up anything that came to mind. And to think he had grown so attached to the ancient. It felt more embarrassing than sweet. 

What an unbearable silence. Blueberry Milk glanced up from the incomplete plushie, loose threads dangling from the doll. 

The only noise that could be heard in the home were the occasional clicking noise that sounded from the kitchen. Boredom was beginning to creep up on him, and only the witches could wherever Pure Vanilla had run off to. 

Before he had left the house, Blue was practically knocked out the entire morning, not even remembering if they had interacted at all earlier. 

“Seriously. Did he go off and crumble or something?” 

By the time ten minutes had passed, he had finished sewing the plushie. It was a near identical replica of Pure Vanilla. Why he made it, he didn’t know himself. 

Maybe, it would serve as a decent keepsake. 

Suddenly there was a frantic knock on the door, sending a small flinch through Blueberry Milk. He rose from the table, almost colliding with it as he ran to the front of the house. 

Not even a second after the door knob was turned, Pure Vanilla nearly crashed into him, who  was holding a large box, a plastic bag draped over his thin arms. 

“Hold on—!” Blueberry Milk grumbled before snatching the box, almost dropping it as he quickly realized it was far from light weight. “H-How long have you been carrying this?!” 

Pure Vanilla said nothing at first, only being able to muster a huff as he set the plastic bag on the ground, which was oddly lumpy. Placing the box onto the table, Blue ushered back over to take a look inside them. Immediately upon opening it, he was greeted with a faint sweet scent. 

An unnecessary amount of apples all piled against one another.

“What’s all of this for?” He grabbed one out the bag, not even bothering to go and rinse it off first before taking a large bite out of it.

“I’m baking tonight. Open the box! It’s a gift,” Pure Vanilla smiled warmly, bending over to grab the bag. He paid no mind to the confusion on Blueberry Milk’s face. 

“A gift..” Blueberry Milk muttered, glancing at the  box and setting the apple down before using his fingernail to slice it open. He caught a sliver of something white and rather reflective, tearing away the cardboard. A large sewing machine. 

“What—“ 

“Surprise! I know you like making those dolls, so..” Pure Vanilla turned and took off his hat, setting his staff against the wall. Not even having the opportunity to hang it up, he was practically seized by Blueberry Milk.

He let out a small groan as he felt arms tightening around his torso. “B-Blue!” 

Blueberry Milk grinned, nearly crushing Pure Vanilla as he hugged him. He was soft, his face nudging against the ancient. Embracing him always felt comforting to Pure Vanilla.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh, I’ve been dying for one of these!” 

He’s never seen Blueberry Milk this enthusiastic in eons. It almost felt like a reward seeing him display such a genuine smile.

“I’m glad you like it, Blueberry Milk.”

His face was flushed, attempting to reciprocate the hug before Blueberry Milk pulled away. They met eyes for a moment, Pure Vanilla drawing back his hands and glancing at the table. Although his vision was blurry, not having his staff with him, he was able to make out the plushie that rested atop it, its design a little too familiar. 

“Did you make something new?” Pure Vanilla asked, pointing past Blueberry Milk. He followed Pure Vanilla’s eyes, immediately moving forward to snatch it up. 

He pressed the doll against Pure Vanilla, who took a hold of it and raised it to his face, attempting to get a better look. It displayed the same prevalent smile as Pure Vanilla, the sewing nearly flawless. 

Pure Vanilla poked at the replica of his hat, which was stitched perfectly onto the doll. “This is adorable, Blue!”  He squeezed the plush against him, its body overly soft. “You know, you could put these to use.” 

He only side eyed Pure Vanilla, resuming biting at the half eaten apple he had set down. 

“Blue.” 

“Mm..What?” His voice was slightly muffled from the fruit, most likely on purpose too. Pure Vanilla slightly frowned, trailing a finger over the plushie. “I’m being serious, why don’t you do something with your work?”

Blueberry Milk pauses before continuing his chewing. “Ha. What’s your verdict?” 

“How about a stand? You could sell them.”

Blueberry Milk seemed lost in thought, his eyes slightly narrowed as he gazed over the sewing materials that were spread over the table. “..Why would I do that?” He asked, still not quite reciprocating the idea. A stand would require socialization, and on top of that more work to do.

An actual job. 

“You’re always saying you’re bored, aren’t you? Oh! It could help you learn how to handle patience as well,” Pure Vanilla continued.

Unfortunately, Blueberry Milk took that comment personally. “Patience? Are you saying I have anger issues?” Blue sneered, glaring at Pure Vanilla.

“No, No that’s not it. But, you do get a little — well, aggravated at times..” Pure Vanilla mumbled, a nervous smile on his face. Blueberry Milk definitely had emotion-driven problems, but he would never admit that. Perhaps giving Blue the time to have something to do would ease him up a bit.

“Ugh..” Blueberry Milk groaned, putting a hand against his forehead dramatically. “I hate that I can’t argue with you.”

Pure Vanilla could only muster a grin, gently placing down the plushie that replicated him onto the table. He trailed past Blueberry Milk and into the kitchen, the bag of apples held tightly in his hand. He slipped off the stole that draped onto his shoulders before throwing it over a chair.

“I’ll leave that decision to you. I’m going to get started, okay?” His voice was as gentle as ever. 

Blueberry Milk said nothing at first, only watching Pure Vanilla intently and sitting back down at the table, eyeing the sewing machine. He glanced at the cord before plugging the tool in, slowly trying to figure out how to work it. 

After a couple of minutes had passed, trying to concentrate was only growing more difficult as the air was filled with a sweet aroma. Whatever Pure Vanilla was baking was unbearable to not get a look at. 

He attempted to avert his eyes to the kitchen, spotting Pure Vanilla with his sleeves tucked back as he inspected the oven. Blueberry Milk leaned forward trying to get a better look before feeling a painful jab at his hand. 

“Crap—!” He winced, turning back to see the sewing machine was stuck not only on a piece of fabric, but some of the needle had caught his finger. It was only a matter of time before jam began to escape, trickling down his hand. 

“Ugh. This is the absolute worst.” 

“What’s the matter?” Pure Vanilla called out, just now noticing the commotion. He walked over to see what was wrong, immediately pulling off his oven mittens to take ahold of Blueberry Milk’s hand. Within seconds, the wound closed, accompanied by a deep warm sensation. “You have to be more careful, blue.” 

“Sorry,” Blueberry Milk mumbled, staring back at the machine. Pure Vanilla sighed before leaving once more, putting back on the large mittens. “Just hold on for a while, I’m almost finished.”

Blueberry Milk continued to think about the suggestion of him starting a stand, switching back on the machine and resuming his work as the plushie of Pure Vanilla rested on his lap. He decided to make a couple of dolls, a subtle confirmation he was going to take up the idea. 

Maybe.

“Blue?” Pure Vanilla called out, cracking the oven open as he squinted his eyes. The sewing machine’s whirring was rather loud, almost completely muting his voice. Blueberry Milk was mostly concentrated, not even once bothering to take his eyes away from his work. 

“Blue!” Pure Vanilla shouted again, causing him to practically jump. He paused the machine, turning to glare at Pure Vanilla. “Are you trying to crumble me?!”
“I didn’t mean to startle you— I was just asking you to come try what I made,” Pure Vanilla muttered, poking his head out the kitchen. A white apron was tied around his robe, his hair smoothed down. 

The air was stuffy yet warm at this point, nearly unbearable if it grew any more. Only around 20 minutes had passed and Blueberry Milk already created around 5 small plushies, Pure Vanillas attention wavering to the dolls. One of them caught his eye— a small white lamb. 

“Look at how much you’ve done! This one’s adorable,” He said, fully leaving the kitchen to take a hold of it. Just as expected, it was soft and perfectly stitched. 

“Ya want that one?” Blueberry Milk piqued, noticing how fond Pure Vanilla was of it. He seemed flustered for a moment before glancing from Blueberry Milk and back to the stuffed animal, slightly nervous. 

“Ah, if you don’t mind..” 

“Knock yourself out,” Blueberry Milk grinned, standing up from the table only to dash into the kitchen, catching Pure Vanilla off guard. “B-Blue, wait!” 

He set down the lamb plushie onto the table, having to slightly raise his robe to avoid dripping over the fabric as he followed Blueberry Milk, who ignored his call. Blueberry Milk eagerly opened the oven, hot air brushing against his face, noticing a large apple pie sitting inside. 

Unfortunately he didn’t have any mittens, except for Pure Vanilla. 

“Come on, come on, take it out!” Blueberry Milk pleaded, acting as if this was his first time eating something in a long time. He wasn’t all that hungry in the first place— he just enjoyed trying Pure Vanilla’s creations. 

“Patience, Blue” Pure Vanilla ushered softly, crouching down to slowly pull the dessert from the oven. He placed it down on the counter, steam rising in the air. “It’s rather hot, you should let it cool first.” 

Blueberry Milk grumbled, folding his arms. 

“Oh, relax. It'll only be a couple of minutes. Say, why don’t you show what else you’re working on?” Pure Vanilla requested, gently placing a hand on Blueberry Milk’s back and nudging him out of the kitchen. “Come onnnn…” Blueberry Milk dragged out his voice, clearly annoyed. 

Pure Vanilla followed him back to the table, which somehow only grew messier with the amount of fabric and stuffing that was scattered across it. There laid the lamb plushie he had put down earlier, to which he picked it back up while gazing over the rest of the stuffed animals. 

“So, about the stand..” He began, fidgeting with the lamb. Blueberry Milk perked up, staring at the wall before turning to Pure Vanilla. 

“Fine.” 

Pure Vanilla’s smile widened, as he didn’t genuinely think Blueberry Milk was actually going to agree with his suggestion. “Really? You actually want to?” He asked eagerly, moving closer to Blueberry milk. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll set it up tomorrow..”

“Why not now?” Pure Vanilla asked, placing a hand on Blueberry Milk’s shoulder, who only narrowed his eyes at him. “It’s getting late, Nill.” 

“We can make it quick. Come on!” Pure Vanilla encouraged, playfully shaking Blueberry Milk. He grumbled yet again, but didn’t even bother to move away from Pure Vanilla.

 “..You’re lucky I tolerate you.” 

“Ahh, Tolerate? Is that all I am?” Pure Vanilla grinned, putting a hand on his chest in mock-offense. It only made Blueberry Milk more flustered, ignoring Pure Vanilla’s jab and rising from his seat. He moved over to the door, placing a hand on the knob before turning it, only opening it slightly. Warm air greeted him. “I suppose this means I have to go outside.”

“Well, yes. We can't exactly set it up in here,” Pure Vanilla mumbled. 

“..At Least the pie’s going to cool by then,” Blueberry Milk added, stepping out the home. 

By the time they had finished, the sun was nearly finished setting. Blueberry Milk had begrudgingly agreed to in fact, starting tomorrow morning. As much as he had felt annoyed about it, Pure Vanilla’s joy washed most of it away. 

And maybe the fact that he was secretly looking forward to it, as well. 

It was a rather large table, a white fabric draped over it. “I guess I’ll place some of the plushies over here,” Blueberry Milk said, pointing at a part of the table. It may have been empty, but at least he had a vision. 

“That sounds wonderful, Blue!” Pure Vanilla clasped his hands together. 

“Don’t get all sappy.” He mumbled, straightening the tablecloth. “Besides, who would even want to buy my slop apart from some kids? It’s not even that interesting.”

“That’s the thing, you could do it for the children in this village,” Pure Vanilla suggested, hovering over the table. 

“…I guess.” Blueberry Milk was devoid of arguments now. It wouldn’t hurt to do something nice for the community, but now he would have to deal with fighting the guilt of his past anytime he speaks to people. Which for some reason, always reminded him of it. The last time they went out together wasn’t exactly a positive experience. 

But, he could always try again.

“Can we get back inside? It’s getting cold” Blueberry Milk muttered, folding his arms. Pure Vanilla gave him an understanding smile before shifting his staff to the other hand, hooking an arm around Blueberry Milk’s. It was sweet. 

“Of course.” 

Not even a few minutes passed as they had arrived home and Blueberry Milk had already scarfed down half of the pie, occasionally attempting to give Pure Vanilla some, who would only politely decline. 

They sat around the table as usual, now clean of the sewing materials it was once covered with. 

“Pure Vanilla..” Blueberry Milk grinned, forking a piece of the pastry and nudging it towards the ancient’s mouth. “Come on, this is reaaaallyyy good..” 

“I’m alright, Blue, Really. I'm not hungry at the moment.” What an awful defense. He had eaten absolutely nothing today, never taking the time to attempt to nurture himself. 

“I insist you try it. You’re the one who made it after all..” Blueberry Milk ushered once more, feeling guilty for how pressuring he was being. But he couldn’t bear to watch Pure Vanilla’s self neglect and do nothing about it. “Please?” 

Pure Vanilla sighed, slightly parting his lips before Blueberry Milk practically shoved the fork into his mouth. He took a minute to chew, raising a hand over his mouth before opening his eyes. 

“It’s lovely. And.. please don’t do that again,” He uttered, a little disturbed from Blueberry Milk’s roughness. A weak smile was displayed on his face. 

“Sorry,” Blueberry Milk averted his eyes back to his plate, finishing what was probably the third slice this night and crossing one leg over the other. At least he had gotten Pure Vanilla to eat, even if it was a bit. 

He was skipping meals again. It was obvious. 

“So, what have you been up to all day?” Blueberry Milk asked, brushing a crumb off his face. He quickly realized he was not good at holding conversations, considering how quickly it had grown quiet between them.

At least they were close enough to not be all that much awkward. 

Pure Vanilla seemed to be lost in thought, his face blank before resting his head against his hand. “Mm.. well I fed the sheep this morning. You were asleep the entire time, and..” 

He glanced at Blueberry Milk before continuing. “And then I thought about getting you something nice after I got the groceries.” Blueberry Milk perked up, his face slightly flushed. 

“I, Uh. Appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem, Blue. Take it as a gesture for your efforts.” 

He raised a brow. “Efforts?” 

“Mhm!” Pure Vanilla nodded. “You’ve been doing so good, I hope you know I am very proud of you.” While Blueberry Milk was far from a saint, it wasn’t hard to see he genuinely was attempting to be a better person. Even if it’s flawed at times, at least he was trying. 

And yet, he only felt awful anytime Pure Vanilla pointed it out. To have the person he once tormented the most, the one put through the most praise for something that felt like the bare minimum. Never would that guilt leave him, perhaps not until he has crumbled. 

Blueberry Milk sighed momentarily, having gone quiet as he averted his eyes to the empty plate. “Blue?” Pure Vanilla spoke, noticing the shifted mood. Even if he was blissfully unaware of the other’s feelings, at least he would always try and check up on him. 

If only Pure Vanilla could do the same for himself.

It felt as if the rest of the night lasted 10 minutes. Blueberry Milk opened his eyes, irritatingly woken up from his slumber to see the inviting daylight peeking through the dark curtains. It felt more threatening than welcoming, given what he had on schedule today. He rubbed at his face, glancing down at his messy long hair before meeting the ground with his feet. 

Around six of the plushies he had created himself were laid scattered atop his bed, a couple bouncing onto the ground as he rose to a stand. 

Not even a couple of seconds had passed  and Blueberry Milk was already barging into Pure Vanilla’s bedroom. 

Just as always, he was already awake far before Blueberry Milk. Pure Vanilla was positioned against the headboard, pillows scattered around him as he pressed the lamb plushie Blueberry Milk had made yesterday against himself.

He perked up at the sound of the door creaking, giving Blueberry Milk a warm smile as he reached over to grab ahold of his staff that was propped next to the bed, wanting to see him better. “Blue. Good Morning.” His voice was rather raspy, probably still a bit tired. 

“Nillll.” Blueberry Milk groaned, approaching the edge of the ancient’s bed before practically diving face first onto it, his body slightly recoiling before settling down. Of course he felt the need to bother the ancient the minute he woke up. 

But Pure Vanilla paid it no mind, only reaching over before gently running a hand through Blueberry Milk’s unkempt hair. “Come here.” 

Almost immediately Blueberry Milk hopped up further onto the bed, invading Pure Vanilla’s personal space like always. He brought a hand to his mouth, barely stifling a large as he shut his eyes. 

Pure Vanilla on the other hand leaned over to grab his hairbrush, running the prop through the beast’s hair before beginning to braid it. The air was peacefully quiet, save for the repetitive noise of Blueberry Milk’s absentminded tapping of his finger against the headboard. 

Eventually Pure Vanilla finished, gently flipping the braid over Blueberry Milk’s shoulder. “..Thanks,” he mumbled, slightly shifting towards the edge of the bed before Pure Vanilla stopped him. 

“I suppose you’re going to leave the house now?” 

“..Uh-huh” Blueberry Milk frowned. As much as it would be enjoyable, it was mostly having to speak to other cookies for a good long while that had thrown him off. “Don’t be upset. I’ll come with you,” Pure Vanilla said softly, rising from the bed. 

Blueberry Milk could feel a wash of relief over him, staring at Pure Vanilla as he began to turn the door knob, his large staff in hand. He turned back, meeting eyes with Blueberry Milk. “..Are you not coming?” 

“Alright, Alright,” Blueberry Milk finally got up, folding his arms as he followed Pure Vanilla downstairs within the small home. While it was mostly quiet, the faint noise of birds chirping was prevalent. It was almost one of the only signs of life around their house besides the cream sheep that Pure Vanilla so lovingly herded. 

Blueberry Milk attempted to pull on his boots, slightly staggering as Pure Vanilla was already starting to leave. “Wait for me, jeez. I didn’t even get the plushies yet.” 

“Sorry, I guess I'm pretty eager,” Pure Vanilla smiled, brushing a strand of hair from his face. 

Immediately Blueberry Milk was flashed by the brightness of the daylight, shielding his face with a low grumble as he made his way back to the table they had set up last night.

It was still intact, thankfully, apart from the slight specks of dust. He set down the box that he had filled with some of the work he’s done, hesitating before beginning to pull them out. 

Some were stuffed animals, others rushed puppets and all kinds of assorted plushies. He never realized just how much of this stuff he’s made until it was all displayed on a singular table. 

“..What do I do now?” He asked, turning to Pure Vanilla. Seems like getting a customer wasn’t going to be as easy as it was. 

“Maybe organize it a little better. It’s bound to catch someone’s eye,” Pure Vanilla suggested. 

Blueberry Milk tapped his chin, inspecting the table before attempting to assort the products by color. Wasn’t exactly perfect, but at least they were more on the presentable side now. He sighed before positioning himself behind the table, occasionally glancing at Pure Vanilla who was occupied by a small bird that rested atop his finger. 

It was only a matter of time before Blueberry Milk caught the eye of a young cookie, who had their arm hooked around what seemed to be their mother. He felt himself stiffen as they made eye contact, the child perking up before slowly drawing their hand from their parent, who didn’t notice the kid was walking away.

The village wasn’t exactly bustling with people quite yet, especially since it was the morning, but there was a good amount of people around.

He could feel himself fidgeting with his braid as the child approached the table, their eyes wide with curiosity. They reached out to pick up a plushie, completely silent as they inspected it. 

“Uh..” Blueberry Milk tried to say something, but was completely frozen up. Even if he wanted to, nothing would come out. 

Eventually the child’s mother realized they were   Absent and panicked for a moment before spotting the kid at the stand, and within seconds she too was positioned by the stand. 

“Lemon Meringue Cookie! How many times do I have to tell you not to run off?” The mother scolded, grabbing the child’s arm before noticing what had caught their attention. “Oh, well isn’t this cute?” She gushed, leaning over the jelly bear plushie Lemon Meringue was holding. 

The mother turned to Blueberry Milk, a sickeningly sweet smile on her face that made him shudder. “Are you the one running this? How much do I owe you?” She began to reach into her purse, the child latching their arm back around her own. 

“I—“ Blueberry Milk glanced over at Pure Vanilla, who was still distracted. He looked back at the woman, increasingly nervous before muttering a low, “just a couple of coins.” 

She nodded before pulling out a handful and gently placing it onto the table, bending over before picking up Lemon Meringue and carrying the small cookie in her arms. The child held the plushie tight against their chest, their gaze fixing onto Blueberry Milk. 

“Is that enough?” Her voice was overwhelmingly gentle, almost lowered to whisper. Blueberry Milk did nothing but nod, being given yet another warm smile from the woman before she turned and left, the child continuing to stare at him as they walked away from the stand. 

It was only a matter of time before yet another kid ran over to the stand, this one a little too social. “Dad, Look! That guy has eyes in his hair!” The child shouted, earning a glare from Blueberry Milk. What kind of nerve did this one have? 

Standing by the child was a rather tall cookie, his eyes narrowed at the plushies as the kid continued to make odd jabs at Blueberry Milk’s appearance while tugging at their parent’s sleeve. 

It wasn’t helping that he was already nervous about leaving the house without disguising like he did the last time. He figured nobody would recognize him, considering it wasn’t the town area like before.

“Look! They blinked at me!!” The kid shrieked playfully, Blueberry Milk’s glare only deepening. Pure Vanilla, noticing the commotion along with the rather nasty look on Blueberry Milk’s face, strutted over to see what was happening. 

“Is everything alright?” He whispered to him, a hand shielding his face as he peered down at the kid. Blueberry Milk looked back at Pure Vanilla, his scowl slightly softening. He nodded, plastering a fake smile on his face before attempting to speak to the arrogant young cookie. 

He nudged a lamb plushie towards them to bring their attention to something else before playfully shaking it. Luckily, it worked, considering how eager— and rather rudely — they grabbed it. So much for trying to be social. 

Their father turned his attention to the doll, asking if the child wanted it as they erratically nodded their head. 

At least he got another successful customer. 

An hour had passed and Blueberry Milk already felt as if he could crumble right then and there. For the past time he had encountered multiple children from the village at this point. Some were arrogant, others kind and some a bit awkward. Only a few customers were actual adults, so his target audience was pretty clear. 

‘This job is going to be the death of me..’ He thought to himself, letting out an exasperated sigh before leaning against the now nearly cleared table. 

“You seem tired,” Pure Vanilla smiled, moving closer to Blueberry Milk. He simply watched him work the entire time, only sometimes intervening if it seemed as if Blue was struggling to speak to another cookie. 

“Uh-Huh. Yeah, thanks for your speculation,” Blueberry Milk shot back, his eyes half-lidded. 

“If you wish to wrap it up for today, you can, Blue. You did great today,” Pure Vanilla said softly, giving his shoulder a squeeze. He could only gaze back at Pure Vanilla before peering down at the table. Most of the merchandise was gone and sold, the pouch he used to hold the coins practically bursting at the seams. 

It was satisfying to look at, even if he felt exhausted. Maybe contributing to the community wasn’t as bad as it seems. 

Perhaps this job wouldn’t hurt too much. 

He sighed, grabbing the box that once held all the loads of product he created. Blueberry Milk began to toss the unsold items back in before he caught a haze of pink in the corner of his eye. 

Flinching, he turned to see a young girl standing by the table, gazing at the puppet that dangled from his hand. 

She was silent, only pointing at it before he mustered a smile, nudging it towards her, who gently took a hold of it. “Sorry, kid. We’re sort of packing up, but..” he grinned, leaning forward before lowering his voice. 

“You can have this one, free of charge. Don’t tell anyone!” He whispered, pulling away from the child to see she was smiling. “Go on,” he said gently, to which the girl finally ran off with the puppet hooked around her arm. 

As he watched her run off he noticed Pure Vanilla staring at him, who had his eyes wide open, a smile tugging at his lips. 

“W-What?” Blueberry Milk asked, slightly disturbed. 

“That was very kind of you, Blue” Pure Vanilla beamed, clasping his hands together. Of course he was going to get sappy about such a lame gesture. At least he was happy as well. 

“Relax..” Blueberry Milk muttered, continuing to pack up the rest of things on the table. “Anyways. I think I'm going to leave the table here for tomorrow.” 

Pure Vanilla smiled, raising a brow. “So you’ve officially taken up the job, I see?” He giggled. “Ugh. Don’t get so sure of yourself,” Blueberry Milk said back, rolling his eyes and picking up the box. 

It was afternoon at this point, the sun still warmly gleaming as ever. The short walk back home was mostly quiet, the only noise being gravel crunching underneath their feet. “Do you want to pick up anything on the way home?” Pure Vanilla asked, swaying his staff in his hand. Blueberry Milk shook his head, his eyes focused on the box.

“Thinking about tomorrow?” Pure Vanilla grinned, earning a flustered glare from Blueberry Milk. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

He was. 

As they entered the home, Pure Vanilla watched intently as Blueberry Milk set down the box onto the wooden table before sitting down next to it, lowering his head into his arms. 

“Mm.” Pure Vanilla walked over to him before running a hand over the beast’s head. “Rest a bit, you deserve it.” 

He took off his hat and layered fabric like usual, placing some on the coat hanger before heading upstairs, his beaming staff still in hand like usual. It wasn’t long before Pure Vanilla was approaching his bedroom that he heard bird chirping— one a little too erratic to be normal. 

He nudged the door open, moving his head around to locate the source of the noise before noticing a small blue bird perched by his window. He smiled softly, starting to approach it before realizing it had something with it. 

A slightly full envelope, sealed with red wax perfectly tucked between its beak. Pure Vanilla raised a brow, leaning closer to the bird. “Ah, is this for me?” He asked sweetly, scratching the bird's head as it released the letter into his hand. 

“Thank you, little one” Pure Vanilla whispered, nudging the bird before it spread its wings, flying away as quick as it had arrived. He sighed, gripping the envelope in his hand as he sat on the edge of the bed. Who could’ve possibly needed to reach out right now? 

Pure Vanilla slowly undid the envelope, tugging at the thin paper that was tucked within it as he opened it up. He pulled his staff closer to him as it assisted with his vision, leaning further to the paper with his eyes squinted, trying to make out the small words. 

Above the small paragraph was a familiar haze of colors that only represented a certain group of people. 

His friends. The other ancients. 

Pure Vanilla could feel his heartbeat quickening as he began to read the paper, a mix of panic and curiosity washed over him. 

“Pure Vanilla, On Behalf of the five, I would like to thoroughly apologize for our judgement and extend an invite both to you and Shadow Milk Cookie to convene. With proof of change, we can look past our pretense. ~ With love, Hollyberry.” 

Her name was scribbled into a sweet cursive signature, the paper slightly crumpled.

At this point, Pure Vanilla was practically grinning from ear to ear, a wash of relief that felt like a fresh breath of air. Not only was the interaction they had what felt like centuries ago still in the back of his mind, to feel reassured that they were going to hear him out nearly brought him emotional.

This was actually happening. They were listening to him, for once. 

Pure Vanilla slowly set down the letter onto the bed, shutting his eyes and sighing before nearly squealing into his hands. It was perfectly justified for him to be excited, was it not? 

He rose from the bed eagerly, nearly dashing out of his bedroom as he abandoned the letter, his grip on his staff so tight his knuckles almost turned pale. Blueberry Milk on the other hand was still resting his head on the table, tapping a finger against the wooden surface before hearing fast tapping coming from the staircase. 

Not even a second before he could process the noise and Pure Vanilla nearly collided into him, who practically tackled the beast in a tight embrace. “Blue! Blue, Blue! You’re not gonna believe this!” He beamed, his arms wrapped tightly around Blueberry Milk’s head, 

“UGH—“ He let out a groan before gently shoving Pure Vanilla away, having no room to breathe. He raised his head, an extremely perplexed expression on his face as he glared at Pure Vanilla. “ENOUGH! W-What’s all this commotion about?!”

His question only made Pure Vanilla further excited, who opened his arms in an attempt to hug Blueberry Milk again, who tried to escape the embrace but was only squeezed yet again. 

“It’s.. It’s my.. I got a letter, and..” Pure Vanilla tried to speak, his voice breathless as Blueberry Milk placed a hand on his shoulder. “Nill. Slow down. I can’t understand you.” 

Pure Vanilla shut his eyes, sighing once more before fanning himself with his hands. “Alright, Alright. I got a really important letter. You’re almost not going to believe me!” The smile on His face was so joyful, so bright it nearly blinded Blueberry Milk. 

“Well? Are you going to keep stalling?” Blueberry Milk muttered, crossing one leg over the other as he sat at the table, gazing up at Pure Vanilla. 

“It’s my friends! They want to see you! Well, us, but the focus is you, Blue! They said that they were willing to hear you out!” 

Oh, witches. 

Blueberry Milk felt his heart sink, a wave of dread washing over him, a fleeting contrast to Pure Vanilla’s smile. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them. Well, he did not. But to have to deal with being peered down by the rest of the ancients?

It took him long to even get adjusted to Pure Vanilla, and to think that he would have to deal with more sent a panic through him that he couldn’t register. Why did they want to see him so urgently? Why was this so sudden? 

It felt as Pure Vanilla’s speaking was drowned out by Blueberry Milk’s thoughts, eventually snapping out of it when he heard a faint “Blue?”

He glanced up at Pure Vanilla, his brows furrowed. He wanted to smile, he tried to smile, but he couldn’t. It felt terrible. 

“Blue, I know that it sounds worrying, but trust me. They’re my friends after all. I’ve known them for a long time, and I..” His voice drifted off upon realizing it wasn’t exactly reassurance that Blueberry Milk needed right now. 

He was not innocent. He was far from it. It would be nearly equivalent to asking a criminal to present themselves in front of a judge, but this time four of them. 

Right. Judgement. He could only imagine the ill things they must’ve thought of him. Even if he proved himself worthy of not deserving to bear his own doings, what good would it bring? 

Pure Vanilla frowned, beginning to fidget with his robe as he tried to figure out what to say that would at least be even a little comforting. He quickly realized the elements of the situation, having only been focused on how grateful he was his friends extended open arms.

 “..I’m sorry. I may have gotten ahead of myself,” he tried to apologize, inching closer to Blueberry Milk who could only stare at the ground in silence. He finally spoke, mumbling something under his breath before uncrossing his legs, rising from the chair. 

“I..I don’t know if I can do that.” 

Pure Vanilla’s frown only grew, the mood in the air completely shifted. He didn’t want to pressure Blueberry Milk into going to the meeting, of course not. But, just what kind of impression would it be if they didn’t? 

“Blueberry Milk.” Pure Vanilla placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning forward. “I understand how you feel. But please, just believe that everything will be okay. Besides, I’ll be with you, right? If they seem upset, I’ll be right there to help you.” 

Blueberry Milk sighed before meeting eyes with the ancient once more. “..Do you promise?” His voice was hoarse. 

“I promise. I’ll protect you, I swear,” Pure Vanilla smiled warmly, pulling the beast into yet another tight embrace. He could feel Blueberry Milk’s heart beat against his own chest, his breath short.

He was nervous. 

Pure Vanilla only tightened the hug further, gently stroking the back of Blueberry Milk’s hair. “It’s okay,” he whispered, shutting his eyes. 

Only a fleeting matter of comfort would help this moment. 

Night time had fallen by now, the sky littered with faint stars. Blueberry Milk had gone quiet for the rest of the day, the last thing Pure Vanilla seeing of him was him going into his bedroom. 

He figured he should’ve given him some time to his own thoughts, not wanting to make him even more stressed than before. 

The house was completely silent, Pure Vanilla staring at the ceiling before hearing a faint creek from his door. He immediately sat up, seeing nothing except a faint haze of blue. “Blueberry Milk?” He called out, the door only creaking further. 

“Yes.” He’s never sounded so quiet before. Blueberry Milk stepped into the room before closing the door behind him with a sounded click, his eyes fixed on the ground. His long hair was undone, now in his night attire.

..He looked nice. 

“I know it’s late, but..” 

Pure Vanilla shifted closer to the middle of the bed, holding a hand out. “No, No it’s okay. Are you feeling better now?” He could feel his heart racing like earlier, his mind flooded with thoughts. 

“Mm.” Blueberry Milk mumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed with his back turned to Pure Vanilla. “It’s just about tomorrow.” 

Pure Vanilla blinked. “I’m listening.” 

“I’m willing to go, Pure Vanilla. But I can’t guarantee you if they’re going to like me,” he continued, his voice raspy. 

“What do you mean?” Pure Vanilla asked, trying to make sense of what Blueberry Milk was insinuating. There was a sensation of a pit within his stomach, something he himself couldn’t understand why he was feeling it. “You’ve changed a lot, Blue. I’m sure—“

The word ‘change’ set off something in Blueberry Milk. 

“See? That’s it! You keep saying ‘I’m sure’ and ‘I’ but you don’t know that, Pure Vanilla!” He suddenly shouted, turning to face the other. It only took Pure Vanilla a second to realize Blueberry Milk was crying. 

“Blue—“ Blueberry Milk suddenly grabbed Pure Vanilla, pushing him further onto the bed. He hovered over him, tears beginning to flood his eyes. “Look at me, Pure Vanilla! I'm a terrible person! I'm a beast, for witches sake! What don’t you understand?!” He yelled, his hands tightly gripping onto the ancient as he shook him frantically. 

He was having a mental breakdown. 

“Blueberry Milk, I do underst—“ “STOP! JUST, STOP!”

Pure Vanilla was caught off guard by Blueberry Milk’s anger, going silent as he felt warm tears dripping onto his face. He shut his eyes for a moment to meet them once more with Blueberry Milk. 

“You’re not— you’re not listening to me.. You’re not…” Blueberry Milk repeated, his voice cracking until he could no longer form proper sentences, choking on air as he began to sob. He lowered his head next to Pure Vanillas as he remained positioned over him, his body trembling. 

His bawling was muffled by Pure Vanilla’s shoulder, who attempted to hug Blueberry Milk. He shut his eyes tightly, letting the beast continue to weep. This was the only way he could calm him down. Words would not work, only the comfort of silence. 

Quiet.

His sobs began to slow down, only for him to begin speaking again. “I feel— I feel like something’s wrong. Something keeps aching in my heart— an impending doom. It’s killing me, Nill..” he spoke between gasps for air, more tears filling his eyes. 

He finally moved away from Pure Vanilla before crossing his legs on the bed, his arms folded. Pure Vanilla sat up to get a better look at Blueberry Milk, who was leaned forward with his face covered by his hands.

“Please.. I just want it to stop. I want it to end. I’m going to crumble, aren’t I? I’m not going to make it, am I? I'm going to pay for my sins, aren’t I?” Blueberry Milk rambled, beginning to sob again. Stiffening as he felt Pure Vanilla brush his hand against his head.  

“You mustn’t dread yourself with such feelings, Blueberry Milk. They are only your thoughts,” Pure Vanilla attempted to comfort him, moving closer before pressing his forehead against Blueberry Milk’s, whose breath was hot, strands of hair sticking to his wet face. 

Eventually, his sobs came to an end. Moreso, he simply could not cry any more. Blueberry Milk shut his eyes before wrapping his arms around Pure Vanilla. 

“…I know.” His heartbeat slowed down, eventually stabilizing his breathing as he felt Pure Vanilla stroking his hair. He secretly loved when the ancient did that. It was the most comforting gesture he could give him. 

“Feelings. Right, as if I could understand those,” Blueberry Milk mustered up a weak grin, his eyes still laced with sadness. “What do you mean?” Pure Vanilla asked, tilting his head. 

“I don’t know myself, Pure Vanilla. I wish I could tell you. Ever since you dragged me here, every time you’re near me I can’t shake off this sensation. It’s driving me mad. I can’t explain it to you.” 

“Please, try to enlighten me Blue.” 

Blueberry Milk pursed his lips, only shaking his head. “I’d rather die than ruin things between us. I don’t wanna talk about it. Please.”

Oh. 

Pure Vanilla paused, staring at Blueberry Milk before feeling his face grow warm. Ruin things between us. It would be a fool to not understand what Blueberry Milk was trying to tell him. 

An absolute nimrod. 

“..Blueberry Milk. Do you think you could ever talk about it again?” Pure Vanilla whispered, drawing his hand from the beast’s head. “Huh?” Blueberry Milk glanced upwards, his arms still crossed against his body. 

He felt his heart sink for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. Pure Vanilla knew. 

“I.. I don’t—“ he choked, avoiding eye contact. 

“Please.” 

Blueberry Milk narrowed his eyes, staring down at the mattress before bringing a hand to his eyes, shielding his face entirely. “..Tomorrow night,” he mumbled.

“Hm?” Pure Vanilla leaned forward, trying to hear him better. “Tomorrow,” Blueberry milk repeated. “After we deal with that meeting of your friends. I’ll try to tell you.” 

Pure Vanilla warmly smiled, placing his hands on Blueberry Milk. “..I understand.” 

Blueberry Milk rose from the bed, rubbing at his dried eyes from crying for so long as he leaned against the edge. “I guess I should get some sleep.” 

“Rest well, my friend,” Pure Vanilla said softly, brushing his hand against Blueberry Milk’s arm. 

But he didn’t move, only glancing at the door and back at Pure Vanilla. 

“Blue?” 

“Ugh.” Blueberry Milk sat back down on the bed before crawling further onto it, resting his head against the soft pillows that decorated Pure Vanilla’s bed. He grabbed another one before shoving it over his face, letting out a groan. 

“If you wish to rest in here tonight, you could’ve said so” Pure Vanilla mumbled, shuffling under the blankets before turning to face Blueberry Milk, pulling at the pillow he had covering his face. “Blue..”

“Buzz off, oldie” His voice was slightly muffled. 

Pure Vanilla half-smiled before successfully tugging away the pillow, his heart fluttering as he met eyes with Blueberry Milk. “Goodnight, Blue.” 

“..Mhm.” 

Pure Vanilla leaned over before switching off the lamp, the room completely dark now. It was only a matter of time before he heard soft breaths coming from beside him, Blueberry milk completely knocked out. He must’ve been tired from today. 

“..I hope you’ll be okay, too.” Pure Vanilla whispered to himself before shutting his eyes.

Chapter Text

It’s still as dark as ever, the night having no signs of making its departure.

The bedroom is nearly pitch black, Pure Vanilla  being wide awake with his gaze fixed onto the ceiling while still as a statue. Besides him he could hear Blueberry Milk tossing and turning, occasionally accompanied by frustrated groans. 

Having drifted into a comfortable sleep at first,  now Blueberry Milk could not even catch a pinch of slumber any longer. He was far from asleep, and so was Pure Vanilla. For a moment, Pure Vanilla considered checking up on Blueberry Milk, gradually leaning closer to the beast as his palm brushed against his soft face.

“Someone’s touchy.” Blueberry Milk mumbled.

Pure Vanilla flinched, immediately drawing back with a slight sputter. He didn’t actually expect a reaction from the brief touch, his heart skipping a beat the minute he had heard Blueberry Milk’s faintly raspy voice. 

“Ah— You’re awake?” 

‘Moron’ Blueberry Milk thought to himself, his eyes eventually adjusting to the darkness before turning his back to the ancient. “No, no I am definitely asleep. Goodnight,” He muttered in a sarcastic tone, shuffling around before adjusting the pillow underneath his head. 

Pure Vanilla only sighed in response, no room left for opposition.

It was warm, and a little too comforting as it was laced with the ancient’s sweet scent. Blueberry Milk would never admit it, but it was the main reason why he enjoyed sleeping in Pure Vanilla’s bedroom so often, and to call it comforting would be more so an understatement. 

Everything about Pure Vanilla was. 

“If I'm being honest, I cannot sleep as of now. Not sure why..” He uttered, breaking the heavy silence. “Just shut your eyes. Don’t you always do that, anyways?” Blueberry Milk whispered back, slightly turning his head to glance at the ancient. 

“Mm. Blue, could I ask you something?” 

“Uh-huh.” He mumbled, stifling a brief yawn. 

“I was wondering. How do you think things will be in the future?” 

What an odd question. The bed creaked as Blueberry Milk completely shifted his body, facing Pure Vanilla again. While the other couldn’t see him, his eyes were still open regardless. He looked tired. 

Blueberry milk nibbled at his lip for a moment, tucking a piillow underneath his arm. “My My, I didn’t know you were a philosopher now?” He reached over, moving a strand of hair from the ancient’s face. 

“Haha, I wouldn’t say that,” Pure Vanilla mumbled. “I just feel as if there’s lots we have yet to do.”

Blueberry Milk raised a brow. “..As in?”

“Hm, perhaps more outings, as there’s lots of lovely places in Crispia I have yet to show you.  Oh, and you haven't seen my chambers either, have you? It’s a good thing we’ll be at the Vanilla Kingdom tomorrow,” Pure Vanilla continued, a faint smile tugging at his lips. 

Blueberry Milk could once again feel the sensation of a pit in his stomach. Such a lively setting, filled with people who would be bound to recognize the likes of him. “Is that where our meeting is?”

Pure Vanilla nodded, genuine excitement remaining on his face. “Mhm! My fellow friends, we always hold our personal gatherings within our little solarium. It’s been a good long while, I do hope they are alright.” He seemed to be lost in thought, his eyes drifting to a close as he continued talking, a hand resting on Blueberry Milk’s arm. 

“And, Blue, I know you feel weary about all of this, but have faith in me, please. Everything will be just fine,” Pure Vanilla continued, hope washed over his face. He seemed so genuine about it that it almost hurt. “They may be rather stubborn at times, yes. After everything we’ve been through, surely there’s nothing we can’t handle.”

Pure Vanilla’s hand drifted down from the beast’s arm to his hand before taking a hold of it, gently pulling it to himself. “I only wish the best for you, my friend.” 

Blueberry Milk could feel his face growing warmer, his gaze averting to their intertwined hands. “..I know.” 

He didn’t pull from the touch, only letting out a brief sigh. “Fine, since we’re on the topic of the ‘future’, you sap, I suppose it would be nice to reunite with certain people.” 

Pure Vanilla blinked. “Certain people?” He asked, his voice laced with curiosity. 

Right, those absolute rascals that were always loyal to Blueberry Milk in the past. How could he have possibly forgotten them? 

“My old minions. Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple Cookie. I intend to see them one day.” It was odd, it felt as if it was centuries and not just a couple of months since they were together. Every little banter and exchange between the two never failed to be entertaining, but Blueberry Milk never felt as if he exactly missed such memories till now. 

How they would think of his situation, it did slightly worry him. But he knows his own little acquaintances better than any else. They’d come around, eventually, with this new persona of his.

“Ah, I remember those two. They were quite the pair,” Pure Vanilla chuckled. 

“Oh please. Don’t even get me STARTED,” Blueberry Milk let out an exaggerated sigh, reciprocating the slight fit of hushed laughs that came from the ancient. “But I guess I didn’t appreciate them as much as I should have.”

“And soon, you will be able to,” Pure Vanilla added, giving Blueberry Milk’s hand a soft squeeze. 

“Right.” Blueberry Milk felt a little bit calmer now compared to earlier. It wasn't all that difficult for Pure Vanilla to keep him at ease – he did manage to rehabilitate him after all. And yet, every deep embrace, every word of comfort he spoke managed to feel like a brand new, warm hug personified. 

To say he didn’t feel a certain way about Pure Vanilla would be a complete and utter lie. 

Suddenly Blueberry Milk felt yet another yawn creeping up, pulling away from Pure Vanilla’s hand and covering his mouth with his own. Shortly after he outstretched his arms, followed by a small groan.

 “Oh, we mustn’t lose sleep. Why don’t you rest up?” Pure Vanilla asked, his voice now hushed

“Mhm.”

Blueberry Milk’s body eventually felt as if it was  melting into the bed, his eyes drifting to a shut as he felt the sensation of the blanket being pulled further over his shoulders. 

Pure Vanilla smiled, inching closer to the now asleep beast before shutting his own eyes. A moment of vulnerability to show one another, it only made him feel closer to Blueberry Milk. 

His body was aching, yearning to be stretched. Pure Vanilla woke up to Blueberry Milk absent from the side of the bed, the only trace of his presence being his usual sweet scent that managed to follow him wherever he went. 

He eventually forced himself to get out of bed, as tired as he was. Presumably, how it would always be, exhaustion never seeming to leave the ancient’s body as the days passed. “Blue?” Pure Vanilla called out, patting at any objects nearby to avoid crashing into any obstacles given his vision. Eventually his fingertips brushed against his staff, taking a hold of it and making his way out of the small bedroom. 

“Come here! I made breakfast!” Blueberry Milk called from downstairs, Pure Vanilla only just now realizing the pleasant smell that wavered in the air. It woke him up just a bit more. As he approached the table Blueberry Milk seemed a little improved with his mood, his usual smile present as always. 

It was a relief for Pure Vanilla, who couldn’t feel at complete ease if the other was upset. “Thank you, Blue. I appreciate it—“

“Yeah, yeah hush up and eat.” Blueberry Milk rolled his eyes, plating the food in front of the ancient. He nudged Pure Vanilla to sit down before starting to make his way past, only to be stopped by a gentle tug on his vest. “What?” 

“You’re not going to eat as well?” Pure Vanilla questioned, the other hand pressing the fork against his lips. At least he was obliging and not pushing away the meal like always, given his usual behavior. 

Blueberry Milk pointed towards the empty ceramic plate that rested atop the kitchen counter. “Already did.” He grinned, leaning towards the ancient. “Did you want me to stay or something? How demanding.” 

“If you don’t mind.” Pure Vanilla’s oddly sweet yet straightforward request nearly caught Blueberry Milk off guard, who only responded with a faint “hmph,” before sitting down across from the other. 

Pure Vanilla took a bit of rushed bites before he began to speak again, his hand drifting over his lips to cover it.  “Ah, I nearly forgot to tell you.” His voice was slightly muffled, pieces of food still in his mouth, surprisingly impolite for someone as pristine as him. 

“We must take a special route to get to the Vanilla Kingdom.” 

“I know, Nill I’m not stupid. Those constantly malfunctioning airships you cookies have yet to repair,” Blueberry Milk absentmindedly picked at his sharp teeth with a finger. “If I end up throwing up on that thing, don’t blame me.” 

Pure Vanilla paused his chewing. “Hm. Why would you do that?” 

Blueberry Milk looked nearly dumbfounded, slightly rising from his chair and pressing his hands on the table to lean towards the ancient. “What do you mean, ‘why would I do that’? Motion sickness, Nill. You’re asking that as if I’m out here hurling on purpose, nimrod,” He shot back, narrowing his eyes. 

Pure Vanilla paused for a moment, another forkful of food in his mouth before low giggles escaped his lips, growing into soft chuckles. Blueberry Milk tried to fight the smile that ghosted his lips, leaning back into his chair.

“Stop — pfft — laughing! You’re over here making me sound like a freak!” But he eventually began to as well, trying to cover it up with his hand.

Pure Vanilla finally went quiet, his body relaxing forward before bringing a hand to his eye, gently wiping at it. “Oh, dear. You’re going to make me tear up.”

“I’m not the one who’s cackling at dumb questions,” Blueberry Milk fired back wittily, earning yet another small chuckle from the other. “I suppose you’re right,” Pure Vanilla smiled, setting his utensil down with a soft clink. 

Blueberry Milk gazed down at the empty plate, secretly relieved he had managed to get Pure Vanilla to nourish himself with even a bit of a distraction. It’s only vital, especially if they had such a long day ahead of them. 

“What time do we need to leave, anyways?” He asked, crossing a leg over the other. 

“Hm, I’d say in an hour or two,” Pure Vanilla mumbled, glancing around the house for a clock. While there was no explicit time named within the letter sent, almost every meeting held between the ancients in the past had always taken time in the afternoon. 

“Alright, then. If that’s the caaase.. I’ll run to the toy stand for a bit,” Blueberry Milk grinned, his voice sing-songy before uncrossing his leg and rising to a stand, Pure Vanilla watching him as he ran upstairs to fetch the goods. Eventually it had gone quiet for a bit, save for the constant shuffling noises echoing from the beast’s bedroom.

Pure Vanilla sighed, also rising from the small table to tend to the dishes or leftovers that remained untouched within the kitchen. He was still in his nightgown, rushing to finish up so that there wouldn’t be time spent getting ready that could possibly make the two of them late. Besides, he had enough robes to spare.

Blueberry Milk swiftly ran past the ancient, a large box in his hands as he eagerly pried at the door knob. “I’ll be back soon! It won’t be too long.” Judging by his face, he seemed genuinely pleased with his job. But to admit it, would likely take him eons. 

“Alright. Try to return in an hour. Have fu—“ Before Pure Vanilla could finish his sentence Blueberry Milk was already gone, the front door sounding a slam behind him. 

He smiled, wiping away at his drenched hands once he finished tidying up the sink and gradually making his way back up to the bedroom. Pure Vanilla let out a heavy sigh, flopping onto the bed and reaching out to the lamb plushie that Blueberry Milk had made for him yesterday. He gave it a slow squeeze, the soft filling rising underneath his finger tips before shutting his eyes. “How cute.”

His mind faintly drifted off from unimportant daydreams to how later on could possibly go. He could already imagine the stress of having to talk to some of the more stubborn ancients, his brows furrowing as he continued to think about it.

 Pure Vanilla truly was grateful they had given Blueberry Milk a chance, but for some reason he was yet to feel at ease. 

Was it Blueberry Milk’s anxiety rubbing off onto him? Or could it have been a subconscious paranoia? 

With a soft bed creak, Pure Vanilla raised his head before propping himself onto his back, staring up upon the ceiling, which was nothing but a blurry haze within his perspective. His hand drifted alongside himself before feeling the pillow that Blueberry Milk had slept onto, the cushion still slightly sunken in, a tell-tale sign of the other’s presence. 

The ancient slowly took a hold of the pillow, bringing it to himself and wrapping his arms around it. It smelt sweet, faintly of blueberries. It may have been cold now, but it was still full of life. 

Just like Blueberry Milk. 

Within the span of a few minutes Pure Vanilla had dressed into his usual attire, heading back out into the home to throw his hat over his head. He took a firm grip on his staff, gently pulling the door open before stepping outside and shutting it behind him. Immediately he was greeted with the inviting sunlight, the weather as serene as ever. 

The ancient took a sudden u-turn, approaching the back of the house before spotting the herd of cream sheep, bleating and lively as expected. He smiled, grass crunching under his feet as he dragged his cape behind him, eventually plopping onto the ground and reaching a hand out to run it along the soft wool of a lamb. 

It gazed upon him, nuzzling its small head into his hair. “Good morning to you, too,” Pure Vanilla whispered gently, fighting back a smile as the animal nudged its face upwards into the silky strands of his hair, attempting to graze at it. 

“Ah ah, not food,” Pure Vanilla mumbled, gently pressing the lamb’s head away from his tresses. Eventually the sheep gave up, huffing as it slightly kneeled beside him, not quite accepting the ancient’s attempt to embrace. 

“Hm?” Pure Vanilla raised a brow, amused as the cream sheep only avoided his hand once more. “Oh? Someone’s upset they can’t eat my hair,” he let out a low chuckle, slightly moving coloring to the small lamb. The animal fixed its gaze onto him, pausing before finally leaning against Pure Vanilla, its eyes fluttering. 

“You’re just like him.” Pure Vanilla whispered to mostly himself, his fingers intertwining amongst the lamb’s fleece. 

His eyelids drifted to a shut, and it wasn’t long till everything went dark. 

Complete silence.

…

“Nill.”

Was the sky always this dark? He didn’t remember seeing any clouds present before making way to the field. 

“…Nilly?”

The breeze that blew through his hair felt nice. As if the sky had chosen to embrace him all of a sudden. Maybe that’s why it was so dark, perhaps he was caught in a nice, soft cloud.

…

“PURE. VANILLA. COOKIE!”

His eyes shot open, only to meet them with a very familiar pair, ones of mismatched shades of blue also staring right back. Blueberry Milk had a slight scowl on his face, hovering over the ancient with his shadow casting onto him. 

“Sleeping in grass? I see what we’re doing now?” He sneered, putting his hands on his hips. “You tell me to come back in an hour, then nowhere to be found, and here I find you knocked out with a random sheep.” 

“I-I’m sorry Blue I— I think I was a bit tired. I can’t quite remember falling asleep,” Pure Vanilla apologized, raising his hands in a surrender gesture. Even after that brisk nap, he was still tired. A shame, and maybe a waste of time too. 

“Whatever, get up.” Blueberry Milk held out his hand before Pure Vanilla gradually grabbed it, being pulled up to his feet with a slight stagger. He bent down to grab his hat that had toppled off his head, only to be met with a tug at his hand once more. 

“We don’t have all day. Being late is going to be such an awful impression.” 

“I’m grateful that you’re taking the effort to be on time, Blueberry Milk” Pure Vanilla adjusted the accessory, raising his staff. “Why don’t we hurry along? The journey may take a bit.” 

Blueberry Milk had gone unusually quiet for most of the travel. Anytime Pure Vanilla would steal a glance at the beast, he seemed as if he was lost in his own little world. Once they reached the airship he only responded to the ancient’s questions with soft, unintelligible mumbles.

An obligatory courtesy of the Crème Republic, Pure Vanilla could not stop expressing his gratitude as they were guided into the small ship, especially given they had not scheduled a departure considering this meeting was an unplanned event on Pure Vanilla’s behalf. 

As they boarded, Pure Vanilla took a seat on the wooden ship, gesturing for Blueberry Milk to sit beside him, who only responded with a small nod. It was beginning to feel a little odd on just how unresponsive he had become. For it could be simply nervousness or annoyance, Pure Vanilla could not read him. 

Eventually the ship began to emit a low hum before it began to rise, Blueberry Milks' brows furrowing as he took a hold of Pure Vanilla’s sleeve. “I-Is it always this bumpy?” He finally spoke, his fingers slightly digging into the other’s arm. 

“It’ll settle eventually, Blueberry Milk,” Pure Vanilla reassured, moving closer towards him.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” He mumbled, shutting his eyes the higher the ship rose. Often it would take sharp, sudden turns that would shift their bodies subtly. 

“I never thought you’d be one to have a fear of heights,” Pure Vanilla grinned, attempting to make light of the other’s clear nausea. This only made Blueberry Milk more agitated. “I am NOT—“ he slightly hunched over for a moment, pressing a hand over his mouth. “..Afraid of heights,” he finished, his voice muffled against his palm. 

“There, there..” Pure Vanilla whispered, rubbing a hand against Blueberry Milk’s back, who flinched from the touch. The ship only took another irritatingly sharp turn, Blueberry Milk fighting back the urge to yell that he wanted to get off this torture device of a transporter. 

Blueberry Milk tilted his head, hesitantly glancing over the edge of the ship.“How many more minutes till we get to the Vanilla Kingdom? I swear this ship is going to crumble before I can step foot on land.” 

“Haha, Don’t be ridiculous. It shouldn’t take too long.. I hope,” Pure Vanilla muttered, allowing Blueberry Milk to lean his head against his shoulder. “Just try to keep calm, alright?” 

It was sweet, just how serene he felt simply being pressed up against Pure Vanilla. He pinched his temples, once in a while opening his eyes to take in the sight of the airy clouds that would drift past the ship. And yet, as gorgeous as it was he could not feel relaxed. Not right now. 

It was a good thing that the rest of the ride eventually went smooth, save for the suddenness of its swerves and gentle turns. Blueberry Milk now had his arm wrapped around Pure Vanilla, the ancient’s staff propped onto the two’s laps. As much as he wished they could talk about something, anything, any attempt Blueberry Milk made to part his lips and speak would send a fit of nausea through him. How embarrassing.

If he was so used to floating in the past, to think how a measly ship would be such an inconvenience for him was baffling. Everything seemed to have changed since his soul jam's power was made to be absent. Physical to mental, nothing was the same. 

Supposedly for kindness as warm as Pure Vanilla’s has been a fair trade for those things that once gave Blueberry Milk easy advantages to exploit. 

Eventually his once disdain-laced expression grew into a more relaxed one, letting out a deep breath that felt as if it had been held in for a while. Soon enough he began to feel better, maybe not completely relaxed but it was surely an improvement. Pure Vanilla’s faint scent of a vanilla pod and fresh orchids, the other’s soft fabric and the low hum that he would occasionally repeat whenever his mind drifted off. To say he wasn’t the right person to keep Blueberry Milk even briefly blithe was not something that could be called a challenge. 

After all, they were always two halves of a coin. One meant for the other. 

The remainder of the ride was quiet, gusts of breeze leaving the ship in a gentle sway. The familiar silhouette of the Vanilla kingdom approached, a shape that Pure Vanilla could always recognize on the spot. He perked up, startling Blueberry Milk as he attempted to catch a good look of the area. 

Blueberry Milk only could frown, given this meant they were only getting closer to the meeting. Pure Vanilla, on the other hand, his smile only deepened. He wished to put the past behind, hoping to mend confusion and make reasons with his dear friends. Everything was going perfectly. 

Just a brisk inconvenience that’ll be repaired sooner or later. A miscommunication between allies, even. 

If he didn’t know better, Blueberry Milk might’ve planted a kiss on the paved ground. And to think they were going to have to take that witch-forsaken ship a second time to get back home didn’t exactly put a look of glee on his face. Pure Vanilla took in a deep breath, exhaling with an annoyingly satisfied face as he gazed upon the kingdom, brushing off his robe. “Feels as lively as ever, doesn’t it?” 

He wasn't impressed. “Sure, for anyone who’s an insufferable social butterfly.” 

“Oh, that’s a bit harsh, Blue.”

Suddenly he felt guilty, retaliating with a blunt “sorry.” Given the goal today, he couldn’t help but feel the need to buy some time before having to face the rest of the ancients who weren’t guaranteed to be exactly ‘fond’ of a person like him. Blueberry Milk scanned the area, observing the small villagers that went about their business. With a faint touch of desperation, he turned to Pure Vanilla, a fickle grin plastered on his face. 

“I suppose it’s not half bad. Mind giving me a tour?” He didn’t actually care to look around such a place. If anything, Blueberry Milk wanted to do nothing but go back home. If he could dash back to that nauseatingly-swerving airship, it would be done without even slight hesitation. 

To be able to dive right back into his soft bed— or maybe Pure Vanilla’s if he felt like bothering the ancient for the rest of time. Maybe sew a couple of plushies and then take a rather slothful nap till Pure Vanilla forces him to go on a walk or whatever annoying antics he likes dragging Blueberry Milk alongside himself with. 

But that would not happen. He had business to attend to— moreso psychological torture in his eyes, but netherless a task to get over with. 

Pure Vanilla glanced back at Blueberry Milk, his lips curling into an awkward smile. “You’re really up for that? You seemed rather disinterested not too long ago.” 

“Eh, I was just bluffing. Come on! Show me around,” Blueberry Milk persisted, tugging on the other’s flowy sleeve. Pure Vanilla’s hummed, his gaze shifting along the orchards that decorated the kingdom that once was under his rule. “Oh, alright. If you insist!” That was too easy. 

They began to approach the heart of the plaza, Blueberry Milk’s boots softly clicking against the pristine, perfectly paved grounds that ran from home to home. His eyes averted upwards before nearly needing to strain his neck, drinking in the sight of the large statue that replicated Pure Vanilla. The statue’s arms were outstretched, seemingly reaching out to nothing with that same, familiar old smile dressing his doughy face. 

“Ugh. Should I bow to you now, your majesty?” Blueberry Milk mumbled, jabbing the ancient’s arm. 

“D-Don’t be ridiculous, It’s simply an honorary figure for me,” Pure Vanilla grinned, bringing a hand to his face, which was faintly flushed. How sickeningly humble of him.

Softly colored flowers adorned the statue, white butterflies occasionally fluttering to a rest as they perched atop his stone hand. 

Surrounding them were rows and rows of small village homes, the air warm and lively. From cheerful gatherings to couples walking alongside one another, the Vanilla Kingdom was truly full of life as it once was.

Pure Vanilla’s hand was intertwined with Blueberry Milk’s as he guided the beast around the kingdom, occasionally stopping to hold small talk with random, ecstatic villagers happy for his presence in which Blueberry Milk had zero interest in them.

It felt as if every turn they made so much, another  would come running along with their aggravating “PURE VANILLA COOKIE!” That all somehow had the identical, shrilly voice with little to no distinction.

But he couldn’t stop the feeling of paranoia that would rise whenever they’d glance his way, a brief pause before resuming their conversation with the ancient that they held such deep respect for. Did they suspect who Blueberry Milk really was? It was painfully obvious, given the distinct eyes that faintly scattered his hair. 

And yet, not a single cookie seemed to utter a word towards him. He felt invisible, but perhaps that was a good thing in this case. 

His social skills were even the slightest bit improved since he began his toy stand, but still mostly inept. For most of the time he would trail behind Pure Vanilla, his face blank. Almost that of a lost puppy in a brand new world, freely unsuspecting.

Blueberry Milk’s mind had gone blank for the remainder of time, only responding to Pure Vanilla with subtle hums or nods of agreement. From the brief scent of berry juice and warmth that excreted from the Crow’s Nest Inn as they made their way past, It felt as if his consciousness was awoken by the sudden sweet aroma of florals and greenery that hit his nose, Blueberry Milk’s head perking up as he gazed past Pure Vanilla to see a large, fruitful garden. 

“It’s lovely, isn’t it?” Pure vanilla piqued, noticing the faint awe on Blueberry Milk’s face. 

The lushness of the backdrop was a pleasant touch to the kingdom, Blueberry Milk finally seeming alive after so long as he wandered about the garden. Pure Vanilla followed behind, going on to ramble about the botanics of their surroundings. 

To his surprise, he liked this. Blueberry Milk would occasionally stand on the tip of his boots to trail a hand amongst the flowery trees that towered over him, a bliss that had been absent for a long while finally washing over him. They strolled around a medium sized fountain, clear water gently streaming down within a loop. 

“Ooh, what do we have here?” He excitedly poked a finger into the running liquid before flicking it towards the ancient, who raised his arm to shield himself. “I had a feeling you’d do that,” Pure Vanilla mumbled, a gentle smile on his face. 

He gazed upon Blueberry Milk, who was attempting to get a bird to perch on his hand. “You know, if you’re enjoying this then I am sure you’re going to be a fan of the locations I can show you around within the rest of Crispia.” 

“Would I?” Blueberry Milk remarked, a smirk on his face. “I'm hard to impress, Ya know.” 

“Hm? for someone entertained by a couple of flowers, I’d like to disagree,” Pure Vanilla’s smile only deepened as Blueberry Milk only half-glared as a response. 

In the distance was the tall and serene architecture of the castle that towered over the land, sunlight gently kissing the buildings. It truly was a gorgeous set of land, an easy tell-tale that someone like Pure Vanilla had once ruled over such a place. 

“Blue!” Pure Vanilla called out, only just having realized that the other had ventured a bit far out into the garden. Blueberry Milk glanced back, gesturing with a hand for Pure Vanilla to come over to him. The ancient smiled, amused by the beast’s sudden interest in this little garden. He slightly lifted his robe above his feet as he ran over to Blueberry Milk, gazing down at the other. 

“And just what’re you up to, now?”

Pure Vanilla grinned, inching closer before his smile slowly faltered to a rest. Blueberry Milk had lowered to a kneel as he stared down a small, oddly colored bird that rested in his palm.

“Check it out! Sort of ugly, too.” He slightly raised his hand to observe the tiny animal. 

“I— It is not ugly, Blue. But yes, it’s quite an interesting creature.” 

Pure Vanilla reached out, gently rubbing a finger against the bird’s head, who let out a soft chirp. 

“I think this is another’s offspring. Why don’t you put it down, just in case?” Pure Vanilla suggested, earning a nod from Blueberry Milk who eventually complied and allowed the chick to hop out from his hand. His movements were slow and gentle, almost a reflection of Pure Vanilla, who almost certainly noticed it.

It made him feel a warmth inside that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

Pure Vanilla took a quick glance up at the sky, a breeze blowing through his hair. “How about we start  making our way towards the Solarium now, hm? We have explored a good chunk by now.”

“Ugh. Fine,” Blueberry Milk muttered, dragging out the end of the sentence. His hands were positioned behind his head, eventually lowering his arms as they swung idly. “Come on.” His voice was rather dismissive. 

And just like that, Blueberry Milk’s distant behavior was present yet again. Pure Vanilla reached out to him, waiting for the other to take his hand, who eventually had reciprocated the gesture.  

They made their way up rows and rows of stone staircases, Blueberry Milk stealing glances at the oddly small ‘homes’ and interiors. that lay perched beside them. “And what could these be?” He questioned, Pure Vanilla perking up as he followed the beast’s gaze.

“Ah, these are the chambers that belong to me and my friends. I had offered to show you mine, but why don’t we do that after the meeting? It Could serve as a nice resting place for you.” 

Blueberry Milk nodded. “Alright.” His heart was racing the closer they approached the colorful solarium, bright colored of stained sugar glass adorning the interior. For a moment, Pure Vanilla paused and turned to Blueberry Milk before raising his arms. 

Immediately Blueberry Milk nearly collided into the ancient as he pulled him into a warm embrace. “I believe in you, Blue,” Pure Vanilla smiled, giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder. 

Blueberry Milk said nothing, only being able to muster a weak smile, a mask of his discomfort. Pure Vanilla leaned forward, placing his staff into the beast's arms. “Blue, what’s that line that you always like saying?” 

He raised a brow. “Huh?” 

“Hmm..” Pure Vanilla tapped his chin, his brows furrowed. 

“Oh, yes. ‘Get it over with’, Right?” Pure Vanilla grinned, to which Blueberry Milk returned the smile. “I guess you got that right.” 

“Mhm! Then, let’s get it over with, shall we?” And with that Pure Vanilla turned, pressing his hands against the large glass doors that led into the ancient’s solarium of unity. Blueberry Milk had to shield his face for a brief moment as the sunlight that poured through the sugar glass was nearly unbearable. 

But nothing could prepare him for what he was about to see. 

Positioned not too far from Pure Vanilla, he finally lowered his arm to see the four ancients standing not too far from the two of them, their facial expressions nearly unreadable. 

Pure Vanilla seemed fairly overjoyed, his usual large smile stretched from ear to ear as he greeted his allies, Blueberry Milk lingering behind the ancient nervously, a tight hold onto his staff as if it could provide him a sense of comfort.

“I’m honored, dear friends, that you’ve decided to give us a chance! You will not regret this,” Pure Vanilla spoke a little louder than usual, a hand pressed against his chest. Eventually Hollyberry was the first to approach him closer before outstretching her broad arms. 

“Pure Vanilla Cookie!” She warmly smiled, wrapping her arms tightly around him, Blueberry Milk taken aback as he stepped away to make a distance. “Oh, how are you doing, my lamb?” She gushed, only tightening the hug as Pure Vanilla reciprocated her embrace. 

“I am well! Thank you.” She gave him one last squeeze and slowly pulled away, beginning to engage in hushed small talk as Blueberry Milk eyes wandered off. He bit his lip, turning to see the rest of the ancients. Golden Cheese Cookie, Dark Cacao Cookie and..

Of course.

White Lily Cookie. Perfect, the one he also did not have good history with was present as well. And to think he had thought he was mentally prepared for this must’ve been a complete and utter lie. 

Her soft, deep red eyes met his before the two of them quickly turned away, the energy that hung in the air unbearably uneasy. Just why would these cookies agree to such a meeting if it would be so clearly gray? 

Eventually Blueberry Milk’s gaze met Dark Cacao and Golden Cheese, his body stiffening to that of stone. 

They were glaring at him. Hell, not even showing enough courtesy to mask their clear disdain.

In all fairness, he did have a terrible reputation in their eyes. But not even an ounce of grace, even for the presence of Pure Vanilla? How ill.

His brow slightly furrowed, he peered back at them, his palms growing nearly clammy. None of this made sense at all, for if they were going to do nothing but scowl at him, to arrange this council would be equivalent to self sabotage. Blueberry Milk eventually tore away from the deep eye contact, folding his arms as he dragged his gaze along the interior of the solarium. 

‘Sheesh. This place reeks of stolen valor.’ He thought to himself, unable to put the effort into shielding the clear scorn on his face. Blueberry Milk couldn’t help but roll his eyes, turning his back to the glaring ancients whose gaze he could feel nearly burning into his back. ‘…What a slap in the face.’ 

Eventually the beast’s thoughts were interrupted when he heard a soft, familiar voice beckon out for him once more.

“Blue!” He turned, a scowl still dressing his face. He met eyes with Pure Vanilla, whose smile was a grave contrast to his inner turmoil. “Care to introduce yourself to my friends?” Pure Vanilla exclaimed, gesturing his arm as White Lily stood not too far from him. 

She continued to avoid looking at Blueberry Milk, her gaze fixed strictly onto the floor as he maintained her grip on her large, flowery staff. Blueberry Milk couldn’t help but begin to wonder if these ancients were a bunch of oddballs who can’t seem to muster up even a word during a meeting they were obliged to go forward with. 

In the back of his head, it all felt more so suspicion than curiosity made of a question. 

For a moment, he was silent, staring back at Pure Vanilla who gave him a silent ‘you got this’ look on his face. Perhaps it was a little cute, given the uncomfortable feeling that lingered heavily. 

He was so blissfully unaware, so sure of himself. 

Blueberry Milk fought the urge to pinch his temples as he fumbled with his vest, eventually clasping his shaky hands together and averting his eyes to the ground. 

His throat felt as dry as sandpaper. “…My name is Blueberry Milk Cookie. I run a toy stand in the village.” His voice seemed to trail off before he forced himself to speak once more, his stomach churning. “I— I hope you’re able to forgive me,” he mumbled, his voice unusually low. 

This was too much for Blueberry Milk to retain without feeling as if he could crumble under the pressure. The piercing glares from Dark Cacao and Golden cheese, the clear distance from White Lily and Hollyberry. What a painfully forced gathering, giving more of a humiliation ritual than a reunion. 

But Hollyberry seemed to be the most welcoming one so far, fitting for a lively queen like her. She approached Blueberry Milk, a sweet smile almost reminiscent of Pure Vanilla’s stretched across her face. “It’s good to meet you, Blueberry Milk Cookie. Thank you for looking after our friend.” 

While he did not exactly feel comfortable to begin with, at least he didn’t need to deal with weird looks or behavior from one of these freaks. He could only stare back at her, his face a mix of disinterest and unease. She looked back at Pure Vanilla before beginning to speak once more. 

“Alright, How bout’ you get to know the others while I chat with Van for a sec, okay? It’s.. nothing about you, so no need to worry,” Hollyberry suggested, gesturing towards the door that stood not too far from the three of them, not leaving much room for argument. 

Immediately, Blueberry Milk’s lips curled to a frown as he met eyes with Pure Vanilla, who returned the equally concerned expression on his face. “Ah, c-can’t he just come with—“ 

“It’s okay.” 

Pure Vanilla turned back to face the other, his brows visibly furrowed in faint confusion. And yet, Blueberry Milk only mustered up a forced smile, waving his hand dismissively. 

He slightly narrowed his eyes.“I don’t mind! I’m here to build trust, anyway. It’s only fair I talk to ‘em!” 

He seemed to be doing alright in Pure Vanilla’s eyes, who gave the beast a warm smile, genuinely thankful for how well he was behaving so far. And to say Blueberry Milk hadn’t changed? It would be nothing but bluffed deceit to deny it. 

Hopefully, the rest of the ancients would feel the same thing after this is all over. 

‘Ugh. Witches forbid I ruin this for him. Not to mention myself,’ Blueberry Milk thought to himself, attempting to hold up the grin on his face despite the forlorn that pulled at his heart. 

Pure Vanilla began to turn his body as Hollyberry approached the room that led to her separate chambers, waving at Blueberry Milk. 

“Alright, then. Come and get me if you need anything, Okay?” And with that, he was gone, a sounded creak emitting from the large doors as he trailed behind Hollyberry. It shut with a gentle click, bound to drown out any words said during their exchange. 

It was silent now, Blueberry Milk finally turning back to face the remainder of the ancients within the room. Right. Prove them wrong.

Just get it over with.  

As they entered the warm room, Pure Vanilla could smell the faint aroma of berry juice and perfume. Hollyberry slowly turned to him, her facial expression unreadable. He greeted her with yet another warm smile, patiently awaiting for her to begin speaking. Whatever she had needed to tell him, he hoped it would maybe be an apology for how they reacted in the past to his proposal on Blueberry Milk. 

Finally, Hollyberry lets out a deep sigh, fixing her gaze onto him. 

It felt more so odd, the way Hollyberry had lowered her eyelids, an expression of nearly guilt washing over her face. “Pure Vanilla..” 

“May I please see them?”

For a brief moment, his smile lowered into a more blank look as he tilted his head, the ghost of a frown lingering on his lips. “Huh?” Pure Vanilla uttered, genuinely confused. 

“..Your arms.” 

Pure Vanilla’s heart dropped, his eyes faintly widening as his hands subconsciously drifted to the bandages that carefully dressed him, feeling them. While he had known his well being had always been a cause of concern on behalf of his friends, the guilt of his burden always lingering within the back of his mind, this couldn’t have been happening. Not right now, where something much more dire was the focus. 

Or at least, to Pure Vanilla it was.

“—What..” 

Suddenly Hollyberry had lost her composure, her eyes glassy as she clasped her hands. 

“YOU’RE SCARING ME..!” Hollyberry blurted out, her voice nearly echoing throughout the room. She was on the brink of breaking down into a fit of sobs, thick tears streaming from her eyes. The welcoming nature of the chamber, the sunlight that gently seeped through the stained glass windows and the inviting furniture, it was a rugged juxtaposition of the turmoil that surrounded them. Pure Vanilla could only step back slightly, at loss for words on how he could possibly mend the misunderstanding.

Anything to speak up, something to make an end of this confusion. 

“You ran off for so long..” Hollyberry began, her voice cracked as she spoke. “…And when I finally saw you again? You looked like a brisk wind could take you out!” She continued, stepping closer to Pure Vanilla. Hollyberry’s gaze lingered to his long sleeves, her hands shaky. 

“And— And you shouldn’t need those bandages unless—“ 

The chaos that was already brewing behind the shut door, Pure Vanilla’s brittle emotions would not compare to the sudden yell that came from outside. Pure Vanilla could hear a sounded stomp, his head whipping back to the exit. 

“YOU TRAITORS!” It was Blueberry Milk’s voice, a mix of distress and anger behind it. He had never sounded this upset in a long time, not even as much as his breakdown from the other night. Not ever.

This wasn’t good.

Chapter Text

Blueberry Milk was never the remorseful type to begin with, at least before a certain someone decided they wished the best for the likes of such a deplorable beast. 

He could go back in time, flip a switch to restart every occurrence within his life, Blueberry Milk would pray to whatever wielded above the sky if it meant an opportunity granted to do so.

But there was no God, and neither was there a lever serving a purpose to alternate the choices he has made. Every ounce of pain inflicted onto another, every moment of unkempt emotions and wrath. Would it have been redeemable, in any universe to begin with?

Blueberry Milk could try again and again, but to no use would the final judgement be of approval. At least not on his own behalf. 

If he were to make way for the end of his time, to prepare for a place of permanent rest, it would be most of his desire to lay within an infinite, soft and lushly green blanket of grass, rich with the life of bleating cream sheep and the presence of the person who cared for him the most; The gentle-hearted ancient hero — who, clearly — had bitten off more than he could chew.

Or, maybe he’ll just burn in hell. 

Every woven love from Pure Vanilla, every effort gently sewn into Blueberry Milk, like the little stuffed animals he mends.

If only it hadn’t come to such a grave end. To seep in his own guilt, writhing in his past till his sins were enough to asphyxiate his throat.

“I knew something was wrong.” 

Blueberry Milk’s heart was nearly threatening to claw its way out of his chest with just how fast it was beating. It was a shame that this solarium of ‘unity’ was nothing but a filthy lie. 

After the events of last night, as much as he could feel guilt chewing at his own dough alive, Blueberry Milk had snuck his soul jam with him before they had gotten onto the airship. Would he have told Pure Vanilla once they got home? 

Perhaps not. After all, it was simply a childish precaution to himself, at least. 

But he didn’t think there would really be a moment where it needed to be of use. 

With yet another sounded click Blueberry Milk dug his boot into the ground, attempting to find any way or matter to get away from this, and yet any effort made would likely fail. 

“I knew not to trust you BUFFOONS,” He spat, trying to retreat closer to the wall as if it would serve as any form of protection. Dark Cacao And Golden Cheese only lingered closer by, their faces accompanied by a malice that was nowhere near comparable to the fear Blueberry Milk had seeping through his body. 

His braid was now unraveled, a familiar swirl of spiky strands of hair dancing around his body as his soul jam was latched to his chest. 

This was a trick. And to think it wasn’t clear at the beginning, how easily Blueberry Milk had fallen into faint trust with Pure Vanilla’s comforting words. Could this have even been prevented?

Or was his fate sealed the minute Pure Vanilla wrapped his arms around the other, an overwhelming joy on his face over a letter that was nothing more than deceit?

Dark Cacao only scoffed at Blueberry Milk, a mix of low amusement and maybe even annoyance. 

“And we knew not to trust you,” He retaliated, his hand inching towards the sword that he was armed with, but not quite drawing it out. 

Besides the other ancient was Golden Cheese, who could only smirk back at Blueberry Milk, her gaze studying him. Just by the look on her face, it wouldn’t take too much thought to realize she was the one who encouraged this ‘plan’ of theirs.

“I suppose it was just a matter of action then, hm?” She returned Blueberry Milk’s scowl with a grin, her hands leaning onto the large spear that sat atop her shoulders. “Tough.” 

And what an absolute joke Blueberry Milk was in her eyes. To the rest of the ancients, this was just yet another attempt for a beast to hurt another one of their closest friends, simply a case of protection.

Pure Vanilla might have fallen for it, but they knew it would have to be taken to control within their own hands. Could it have been a fit of arrogance, they likely wouldn’t have acknowledged that fact either way.

They were only doing what was right, were they not? He’d have to forgive them— eventually. 

Lingering by Golden Cheese was White Lily, her hands also positioning her staff. Seems like she was in on this, too. how sweetly predictable of her. 

To think that Blueberry Milk could even get a slight ounce of protection in this moment, outnumbered by multiple strong heroes as a whole. At this rate, the only two things that lingered in the beast’s mind was if he should try and beg, or fend for himself.

Oh, please. Of course it was the latter for someone like him. 

“Back off.” Blueberry Milk warned, his voice trailing off as he only moved closer to the colorful sugar glass of the solarium that made up the walls. His eyes averted to the side of the room upon hearing the door creak, meeting them with none other than Pure Vanilla. 

And now, just for a moment, he was caught off guard as he stared at the other. It felt wrong— to have such suspicion rising in the back of his mind the more he peered into the others eyes. But Blueberry Milk couldn’t help but wonder if Pure Vanilla, just by chance could’ve been in on this as well. 

But ultimately, that theory did not seem to make much sense. It couldn’t be possible. The smile on the ancient’s face that day, the things he said when they had woken up besides each other the other night. It was too genuine, too full of emotion to be such a lie. 

After all, he was the holder of truth, a prophet to authenticity.

Suddenly Pure Vanilla’s face retorted to panic, realizing what their intentions were. For a moment, he attempted to get to Blueberry Milk, outstretching an arm. 

“BLUE!—“ 

He let out a choke as Hollyberry suddenly seized him from behind in an arm lock, her physical strength unbearably incomparable to his own, a reminder of his neglected health. 

It was a fleet of struggle as Pure Vanilla attempted to pry her arms off of him, his teeth gritted as he opened his eyes once more to get a look at Blueberry Milk, who was only frozen in place. Pure Vanilla was in no use of being able to protect the other when he was constrained in such a manner, despite every try he could muster to escape Hollyberry’s tight embrace. 

And for a moment, a pain ached in his heart at the realization that this was completely within the decision of his own friends. The people he so much as grew up beside in the past, the people he was supposed to have his truth engraved into.

Blueberry Milk could feel his body stiffen as he watched the other get held back as if he was a rag doll, his staff falling from his grasp as he continued to resist Hollyberry’s arms. 

Suddenly, Golden Cheese positioned her spear in front of herself. 

“LILY! NOW!” She cried out, her eyes locked onto Blueberry Milk. For a moment, he didn’t have the time to register the splitting pale vines that broke from beneath his feet, seizing him by the legs. They tightened so much to the point where it might as well have constricted his jam’s circulation, a groan escaping the beast’s throat.

Blueberry Milk recognized this magic all too well. They were going to seal him right back into the tree like he suffered within for centuries on end, stuck in a loop of forlorn as he was meant to be. 

But to let it end this way, he couldn’t allow it. Not yet. 

He struggled against the grasp the vines constricted onto his legs, every thrash of his body he made only making them more aggressive with the hold. “STOP— STOP!” He cried out, continuing to resist. “CUT IT OUT!”

“I’M NOT GOING BACK IN THAT DAMN TREE!”

Dark tendrils shot out, movements swift. It might’ve come with an exploit, but Blueberry Milk wasn’t afraid to use his own soul jam if he needed to. But even his retaliation of an attack was still treaded lightly, avoiding causing any major damage. 

A small tendril snaked, forming a swift and pristine spike before snapping at White Lily’s shoulder, ever so slightly piercing the ancient. 

Crimson jam split from White Lily, a cry escaping past her lips as she stumbled from the sudden force, her grip on her staff faltering as the prop slipped from the ancient’s hands, falling to the ground with a splitting clatter. Pain sinked through her dough before she, too, eventually fell down as well.

Right by Golden Cheese’s feet. 

The noise was startling, a flinch momentarily being sent through her body as she gazed down at White Lily, nearly dazed at the sight. Golden Cheese could feel rage beginning to blind her as she turned back to Blueberry Milk, her eyes casted with a malice that made him swallow. 

He perked a brow, her facial expression unreadable before she parted her lips, tightening her fists. 

“You.”

Her pristine, shimmering wings were spread out in what could’ve been taken as a gesture of intimidation, Blueberry Milk’s gaze slowly switching to her hand as she slightly raised her weapon.

But she didn’t stop. Golden Cheese moved her arm higher, before the spear was hovered over her own head, an arm  drawing back as she pointed it at the beast. 

“…YOU WILL FIND A PENITENCE—“ She cried out, positioning the large lancet. 

“IN BLOOD!” With a swift snap of her arm, Golden cheese aimed towards the other as she threw the weapon with a precision that was quick. 

Too quick. 

Unfortunately, there’s only a two second split between staring down the edge of a polished blade before one could even react. 

A crack, accompanied by a sharp, grotesque sound of dough being pierced echoed through the walls of the solarium, and on Blueberry Milk’s end it was as if darkness enveloped his sight for just a moment as he staggered back, right into the stained glass that chipped and shattered beneath his body.

…..

…

..

What is this feeling? 

Blueberry Milk couldn’t feel or hear anything. For a split second, he opened his eyes to realize he was..home. The air was warm, a soft velvet pillow positioned underneath the beast’s head. 

Too comforting, and much too bright. This wasn’t his bedroom.

 It was Pure Vanilla’s, that same familiar sunlight peeking past the shut curtains and soft colors that adorned the ancient’s small chambers. 

Almost the minute he had supposedly gained his consciousness back, the door immediately opened right on time. Pure Vanilla poked his head into the room, his staff in his hand before he flashed a smile. But, 

Everytime he opened his mouth to speak, Blueberry Milk could not hear anything. Eventually the ancient sat beside him on the bed, placing a hand on the other’s shoulder. 

He felt nothing. He couldn’t speak, talk or do anything at all. As if this was a memory he was bound to spectate, a void of no senses. Not even a brisk of touch when Pure Vanilla pulled him into a hug, the warmth that would always be present whenever they embraced each other absent. In fact, it was cold, a stale affection he could not reciprocate, even if he wished to. 

This must’ve been a cruel dream.

He gazed at Pure Vanilla, only being able to choke whenever he tried to open his mouth and talk. It felt as if something was caught in his throat, muting the beast for good. Pure Vanilla was speaking, given his moving lips, while running a small hairbrush through his blonde tresses. He moved closer to Blueberry Milk, his eyes focused on the ground. 

A tinge of desperation, Blueberry Milk found himself tugging at Pure Vanilla’s sleeve, the other slowly turning to look him in the eyes, his face blank. And just like that, the moment their gazes met, everything had gone dark once more. 

The sweet, tender smell of fresh greenery. It was warm, sunlight basking over his closed eyes. A soft breeze, inviting and serene.

Is this what cookies call ‘heaven?’ 

His eyes slowly opened again, and this time it felt like a day he had already experienced was replaying. Blueberry Milk glanced down at his lap, a familiar vibrant flower crown adorned of dandelions sitting atop it. He gazed upwards to see Pure Vanilla’s back turned to him, a chubby cream sheep brushed against the ancient. 

Once more, the world was silent. A small slip of wind could be heard whispering through the air, and nothing more. Clouds danced in the sky, such bliss almost feeling like a mockery towards Blueberry Milk’s spiraling mind. 

As if they were laughing at him. 

Blueberry Milk couldn’t take this torture anymore. He picked up the flower crown, attempting to catch Pure Vanilla’s attention once more, but to no avail did it work. In fact, his hand phased right through the other this time, who was lazily drifting a hand through the sheep’s fleece. Tears began to disrupt Blueberry Milk’s vision as he grew frustrated, unable to make sense of it all.

That is, until a voice too familiar, too like himself suddenly beckoned.

“Life flashing before your eyes? Pretty cliché, if ya ask me.” A low chuckle followed shortly after, filling the heavy silence with an unnerve. 

Blueberry Milk’s breath hitched, whipping his head back towards the voice, meeting eyes with.. None other than himself. 

The doppelgänger didn’t look the same, though. That familiar jester attire, messy spiky hair. His past identity, Shadow Milk was staring right back at him, that same unnerving grin stretched across the beast’s face. A small lamb cradled in his arms, an unusual and rather bittersweet contrast with his looming presence. Blueberry Milk could only spare a scowl, drawing his hand back from the ancient and rising to his feet. 

“Don’t look at me like that. And to think you were smarter than this, I suppose a certain ‘someone’ has had you grow soft,” Shadow Milk continued, his tone laced with tease. 

Blueberry Milk furrowed his brows as Shadow Milk spoke, his sharp fingers stroking behind the lamb’s ear, staring down the other. 

He watched as Shadow Milk kneeled, allowing the cream sheep to leap out of his embrace before approaching Blueberry Milk, who gazed back at Pure Vanilla. The other still had his back turned, his eyes peacefully shut. No acknowledgement of the scene unraveling before him.

Almost as if he was only a ghost, a figment of Blueberry Milk’s imagination. 

His eyes were fixed onto the cream sheep as it blinked up at him before scurrying to the beast’s feet. Blueberry Milk felt his breath hitch as the lamb trailed around him, as if it was politely asking to be embraced. He hesitated, staring down Shadow Milk as he slowly bent over and scooped up the animal into his arms. 

He heard grass crunching in the distance before suddenly Shadow Milk’s body snapped, his speed impossible to process before he floated above Blueberry Milk, his hand perched beneath a cheek. 

“Look at you. All disgustingly humble,” He mumbled, eyeing Blueberry Milk’s form. “You’ve done nothing but wasted your own time. And now, look what’s happened.” He inched closer towards the other as his feet dangled in the air, cupping Blueberry Milk’s face in a hand. 

“Ahh, this won’t do.” 

Shadow Milk used his other hand and snapped his fingers, the lamb vanishing from Blueberry Milk’s arms. He drew back from the brief embrace before grabbing Blueberry Milk by the throat, a slight squeeze as he lifted the other into the air by his own neck, who could only stifle pathetic gasps for air. 

Shadow Milk possessed a sinister grin watching his own self squirm under his grasp. “How do you feel right now? Ashamed? Helpless? A bird caught in a wire, perhaps? Hm, it’s almost like a game of charades!” He let out an eccentric laugh as he spun, watching Blueberry Milk’s dazed eyes as he twirled the other in the air. 

Finally he let go, abruptly ending the spin and letting Blueberry Milk hit the ground with a sounded thud. 

Blunt, rough coughs escaped Blueberry Milk's mouth as he held a hand to his neck, still processing the sudden motion. “You—“ His eyes widened upon realizing his voice was back. 

His eyes shot up as he met his gaze with Shadow Milk, who still swerved in the air, a leg crossed over the other. 

“I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!” Blueberry Milk shouted, his fists balled. He slightly turned his head, sneaking a glance back at Pure Vanilla once more, only to feel his heart skip a beat. The ancient was gone. 

“…Nill?” Blueberry Milk rasps.

Shadow Milk grinned. “He’s gone. This’ll be his last. At least, for a little. Once you open your eyes, once this little dream of yours comes to an end. You will see.” 

“No—“ Blueberry Milk shook his head frantically, a brow furrowed before turning back to meet eyes with Shadow Milk. “You’re not making any sense! GET down from there and face me!” 

“Face you? Oh, how demanding.” Shadow Milk let out an exasperated sigh before lowering to the ground, still ever so slightly hovering over the vibrant grass. It should be terrifying— he should be terrified. But Blueberry Milk could only peer at Shadow Milk, feigning the paranoia that washed over himself. 

After all, he was Shadow Milk. And Shadow Milk was him. So what was there truly to be afraid for? accepting having to face his greatest fear; himself? 

“You,” Shadow Milk began, swerving a hand in the air with his voice lowered to nearly a whisper. “Have you not allowed your heart to drift into forbidden nets? You’re nothing but a childish fly on the web.” 

Blueberry Milk shot the doppelganger a dismissive glare, his scowl only deepening. “Excuse me?” 

“Pure Vanilla. He is your weakness.” 

Shadow Milk dragged out the end of his words, hovering closer to Blueberry Milk’s face. He held out his hand before pulling the other by the collar, who couldn’t even muster a response, his eyes narrowed. He swallowed, Shadow Milk’s words piercing his thoughts. 

It’s not like he could exactly deny it.

“You get even a bit of kindness and fall for such an oh so obvious trick. And to think that..” Shadow Milk glared at Blueberry Milk, eyeing the cookie up and down. “..We are the same person.” 

Blueberry Milk grumbled, shoving Shadow Milk away from his grasp.

“I am nothing like you,” Blueberry Milk rasped. “Don’t you dare compare me to—“ Shadow Milk grabbed the other’s face, silencing him. 

“Oh, but you are,” He kept his gaze burning into Blueberry Milk’s eyes, his sharp teeth flashing. “You know that deep down, nothing has changed. Go on with your little facade for that fool that parades you so much. See what happens.” 

Blueberry Milk’s jaw tightened. 

“What a stubborn one you are, restraining what you know will eventually come to light. Did anyone keep you from bringing that soul jam with you?” Shadow Milk remarked, a the ghost of a smirk pulling at his lips. 

“I— I was only taking a precaution!” Blueberry Milk shot back. This back and forth was beginning to grow infuriating, and it was already settled to a conclusion that this was simply a battle with none other than himself. He knew the form of Shadow Milk was nothing more than in his mere mind, a manifestation even, of his guilt that ate away at his own dough like a parasite. 

“…I didn’t want to get hurt. Neither did I want to see Pure Vanilla witness that, so it be the case,” Blueberry Milk croaked. His gaze was fixed onto the lush grass that sprouted from beneath their feet, a hand trailing over his braid. 

Shadow Milk scoffed. 

“You disgust me. That pathetic ancient has made you nothing of a soft little doll, have you forgotten the goal?” Shadow Milk spat, once again inching closer to Blueberry Milk, sharp fingers digging into his own palms. 

“THIS!” He began, proceeding to shove Blueberry Milk, “… Is what he wanted. That axe wound— THIEF — only is using you to feel better about himself. Use that brain of yours that he has so preciously SHRUNKEN.” 

Another hard shove, nearly causing Blueberry Milk to stumble as Shadow Milk fought back a chuckle. “Your soul jam is all he has wished for, and that’s all it’ll ever be.” 

Finally, Shadow Milk feigned yet another laugh before pushing the other down to the ground, a soft thud echoing through the brisk wind. He has grown sick of the characteristics Blueberry Milk possessed, and perhaps even appalled. 

Blueberry Milk’s eyes narrowed, his breath hitched. “That’s not true,” he countered, his voice revoltingly soft. 

“Really? Then, tell me.” Shadow Milk perked a brow, his grin spreading impossibly wide.

“Tell me what you think you mean to Pure Vanilla Cookie.” 

The look that wavered over Blueberry Milk’s face was nearly laughable on Shadow Milk’s part, evident he was lost in his own thoughts. 

“He—“ Blueberry Milks eyes lowered to the ground. “He is my friend.” 

It felt as if a string tugged at Shadow Milk’s heart the moment that final word slipped past the other’s lips. 

An exasperated sigh. 

“What a let down.” Without warning Shadow Milk threw himself forward, latching onto the other by his own throat, his head tilting with a slight grin as he watched Blueberry Milk choke and sputter beneath his tightened hands.

He only scoffed, pressing his palms further into Blue’s neck. Blueberry Milk suddenly dug his fingernails into the doppelgängers arms, and with a swift slash he drew jam. The sight disgusted him, but he had to defend himself one way or another.

But Shadow Milk did not budge, not even an expression of anger or dismay. In fact, he smiled, soft giggles growing into a spiral of lunatic laughter. “THAT’S IT! SHOW YOUR TRUE COLORS!” He recoiled his head back, snickering as Blueberry Milk continued to scratch at him, a grunt leaving his mouth. 

He drew back a fist, squaring Shadow Milk right into his abdomen. “GET THE HELL OFF ME!”

Suddenly a spew of jam ripped from Shadow Milk’s mouth, the beast’s eyes fading from mania to panic as he gazed down at his chest. 

His soul jam was bleeding.

And that was not Blueberry Milk’s doing. 

His brows furrowed as he began to cough, Blueberry Milk only being able to shield his face with a hand as crimson jam spat onto his ivory sleeves, painting them a faint red. Shadow Milk finally loosened his grip from the other’s neck, who seized the opportunity to shove the beast away. 

“What..“ Blueberry Milk could only watch in dismay as Shadow Milk continued to kneel, his body hunched over as guttural groans echoed within his neck. He was coughing up overwhelming heaps of jam, his hands shaking. 

“GHH! — WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Shadow Milk screamed, bringing a hand to his ruffled collar as he gripped onto it, face curled up into a grimace. He reached out, attempting to slash at Blueberry Milk who scrambled backwards, avoiding the others grasp. 

Shadow Milk retched, profane words spewing from his mouth as jam stained his chin and clothes. His hair lashed out, tendrils snaking into precise swirls as he continued to gag. Blueberry Milk slowly trailed his eyes upon the other’s reddened soul jam, soft cracks beginning to pop and crackle within the brooch. 

“YOU—!“ Shadow Milk hissed, his body recoiling once more from the agony that seared through his dough. 

“WAKE UP!” 

Blueberry Milk furrowed his brows, an expression of confusion that only aggravated Shadow Milk further.

“TIMES. UP. I’ve had ENOUGH of you.” He lashed a large tendril at Blueberry Milk, an unpredictable and violent motion that nearly caught the other off guard, who barely evaded the strike.

His gaze averted to the sky as a dark split began to spread throughout the white clouds, as if this nightmare of a realm he was enclosed within was beginning to break. The ground trembled beneath his feet, Blueberry Milk’s chest rising and falling with a quick pace as he rose to his feet. 

“What did you mean by wake up!?”  He pleaded, the last resort being to try to make sense of it all with the one person within this labyrinth who wanted him dead; himself. 

Shadow Milk shot up, sharp teeth gritted. The cracks within in the sky only began to gently seep further into the world, black swirls of indigo painting its realm.

He had begun to hack up jam once more, fingers digging into the reddened grass that bestowed the trembling field. “WAKE UP! NONE OF THIS IS REAL, YOU FOOL!”

“Wake up..” Blueberry Milk rasped, repeating the phrase to himself with his eyes desperately pinched to a shut, burying his face into his knees. Anything for this torture to be over. How he longed to be curled up within Pure Vanilla’s arms once more, the ancient’s soft hands lazily drifting through his hair. 

How he wished he could be back home, basking within the warm solace of the person who he yearned to tell how he truly felt about them.

Just one more chance. 

Weeps left the beast’s throat as the world reverberated, staring down at the hot tears that slowly dripped down his small face, seeping into nothing but a gray dot as it soaked into his sleeves. Shadow Milk was gone. None of this was real, just as he had said.

The sky’s growing darkness was almost that of a death bell’s screeching toll, a warning of his impending demise that awaited Blueberry Milk. Eventually. 

The beat of his heart could nearly be heard within his eardrums. “Pure Vanilla…” Blueberry Milk croaked one last time, forcing his eyelids to a close. 

…..

..

Blueberry Milk’s eyes shot open, only to feel a searing pain running from his head to his throat. He brought his hands to his chest, brows furrowing as his fingers touched cold, sleek metal. Jam seeped down the beast’s clothes to the ground, the gore painting the softly colored flooring with a gentle trail. 

He had left what could be called a nightmare, only to be met with another. And yet, the last one felt a lot more bearable than this web he was thrown into.

Blueberry Milk’s gaze slowly lowered to see Golden Cheese’s spear pierced through him and into his soul jam, splinters and cracks forming.

The raise of a trembling hand, he attempted to pry the weapon out of his soul jam only to whimper from the revolting pain that shot through his body. Jam escaped Blueberry Milk’s lips, and every effort he made to speak, every time he would try to call out for Pure Vanilla, only more of it would asphyxiate him, guttural gasps for air slipping out his mouth. 

It hurts.

“Ha..” He managed to sputter out even a slightly intelligible sound, hot tears spilling from the beast’s eyes. 

It hurts so much.

“H..hel..p..” Blueberry Milk only began to cough up more jam shortly after, his eyelids fluttering as he fought to keep them open.

‘I don't wanna die. I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die’ He repeated in his head over and over, fingers clawing into the sides of his thighs. 

‘I don’t want to die.’

Blueberry Milk was nearly pinned against the azure stained glass, a design a replica and homage to Pure Vanilla that lit up the solarium, cracks and chips faltering beneath him as the spear phased through it. 

‘Please.’

This was excruciating. Nothing about this was even near to being painless, to the point where he would’ve preferred to be put out of his misery than continue to endure the suffering. Blueberry Milk began to panic, his chest rising and falling as his gaze averted from his clothing, overwhelmingly doused with his own jam, the unreadable expressions on the ancient’s faces, and finally to..

..Ah.

Pure Vanilla was in the distance, pulling out of Hollyberry’s grasp as he turned his head to get a look at the source of the splitting noise that had echoed through the solarium shortly after Golden Cheese’s scream. His eyes fixated on the haze of red that ran down the glass walls, meeting his gaze with Blueberry Milk. 

His heart sank, his breath hitching. 

Pure Vanilla could feel an overwhelming wave of nausea digging away at his stomach, his face retorting into an expression that he hasn’t thought he has ever made in the span of his life. He wanted to throw up. He needed to. 

Pure Vanilla lips parted momentarily, slightly moving towards the scene that unfolded against his will.

“B-Blue..?” 

The more he stared at the golden spear that pierced the one person who he promised to protect, only worse did the twisting anguish that spiraled through his heart grew unbearable. The person Pure Vanilla spent the most of his days around, all the efforts he had put into making Blueberry Milk a better person, all the gentle comforting and promises he made the other’s way despite everything — It was all taken from him.

And possibly with an absent remorse. 

“No—“ Pure Vanilla eyes only widened further, his body frozen as his heart pounded against his ribs. The emotions that weighed down on the ancient nearly manifested physically, an ear splitting scream escaping his throat that could’ve shattered the sugar glass that lit up this lie of a solarium if he wished to. 

“NO— NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” 

Pure Vanilla cried out, beginning to thrash his body violently as Hollyberry could only stare back at him. He rasped, tears clouding his milky eyes. 

“LET ME GO!—“ With a final plea he could feel Hollyberry’s grasp onto his arms beginning to loosen, taking the opportunity to shove her away. Immediately Pure Vanilla’s head whipped back to the scene, stumbling as he rushed to Blueberry Milk’s aid. For a split moment he fell to the ground, injuring his ankle in the process before beginning to slowly crawl to Blueberry Milk. 

Hands twisting into the other’s vest, his head leaned against Blueberry Milk’s cold body as he attempted to regain his balance, shrieks escaping the ancient’s mouth.

“NO, NO— BLUE! PLEASE!” Choked sobs came from Pure Vanilla as he gently shook Blueberry Milk, who was nearly unresponsive — save for the glassy eyes he possessed that could only gaze back at the ancient. 

Slowly, Blueberry Milk began to lower to the ground, Pure Vanilla supporting the back of his head with a hand that intertwined within the other’s azure tresses. He wasted no time, sending a surge of warm and steady healing that sent sparks through Blueberry Milk, the beast eyes squinting as he made every attempt to drink in the pristine magic. 

No reaction. The shattered soul jam made no signs of recovery, and Blueberry Milk was still continuing to bleed out. 

He wished he could say something, anything. To apologize for everything he’s burdened over Pure Vanilla, to be able to tell him what he never would get to say tonight. Not even his last words were as much as accessible when  the ancient attempted to dislodge the spear from the other’s chest, his hand immediately recoiling as Blueberry Milk let out a cry of pain from the slight tug. 

“Blue— Blueberry Milk! It’s going to— hic— it’s going to be okay, alright? I’m going to get you help— PLEASE!” Pure Vanilla pleaded, his words broken up between gentle sobs. 

His heart only ached further as Blueberry Milk began to cough again, heaps of jam spitting out his mouth and dousing his chin. 

“Ph…Pure..va..” Blueberry Milk managed to speak once more, forcing a breath. One last effort to reach out to the person he loved. 

Pure Vanilla gazed up at Blueberry Milk, his eyes softening. “It’s okay you’re — you’re going to be alright, okay?” He gently brushed strands of hair from Blueberry Milk’s face, a wave of emotions only making more tears pour out. He wanted to believe that was the case, even an ounce of delusion to ignore the fact that his own friend was crumbling beneath his hands. 

He brushed his knuckles against Blueberry Milk’s teary face, slowly shaking his head. “D-Don’t cry. I’m going to get you help, okay? Just hold on— please.” 

Pure Vanilla pressed a hand against the other’s chest, once more sending a wave of healing magic through him, a futile attempt of hope. Blueberry Milk’s eyes only fluttered in response, his face and neck tingling with cracks. 

He was beginning to crumble. 

Pure Vanilla’s tears only grew more frantic as he tried everything. He used overwhelming amounts of healing magic, even if it sent his body into exhaustion, anything, something to stop Blueberry Milk from leaving him. Pained gasps left his throat as he sobbed harder and harder,  his stomach hunched in with the sheer force of the ancient’s bawling. 

For a moment, Blueberry Milk’s eyes drifted to a shut only to shoot right back open again upon feeling something leaning against his shoulder. Slightly cocking his head, he took in the last sweet scent of Pure Vanilla that would ever be able to make through his lungs ever again. 

And oh, how the ancient trembled. Soft, blonde locks rubbed against Blueberry Milk’s face as he failed to reciprocate the embrace, his arms growing too weak. His body felt heavy, in fact, everything was. As if he had been plunged into a deep swerve of water, no hope of being released. 

At least Pure Vanilla’s arms were that last bit of warmth to Blueberry Milk, even just a little bit. Tightening the embrace, Pure Vanilla didn’t care for just how much jam had covered his hands, paying no mind that his hair was sticking to his wet face. He just wanted to feel Blueberry Milk one last time, for it would be their final touch. 

Pure Vanilla raised his head to meet eyes with Blueberry Milk, whose eyelids were threatening to close, for good. “Blue, keep your eyes open.. please. Y-You have to.. keep them..” The ancient’s voice drifted off, interrupted by his hyperventilating. He slowly trailed his hand upwards, taking a hold of Blueberry Milk’s. 

Even if it was time to bear the pain that the one he loved was about to vanish from his grasp, every little sensation of the other mattered. The beast’s hands were as soft as always, even when he was soon to be of a corpse.

“P..Pure Vanilla.” Blueberry Milk spoke, the others head shooting up once more to look back. 

“Y-Yes?” He croaked, his voice overwhelmingly raspy. Pure Vanilla had always looked like a mess for the past months, but it was as if his grief played further into his appearance. His hair was disheveled, tear stains seeping into his tan dough. 

Blueberry Milk gave him a weak grin, jam seeping down his chin. “You’re so pretty.” He trailed his fingers down the ancients wet face, his voice hushed to a whisper. “I understand that—“ a cough, sending yet another heap of jam from between his dry lips. “— That I’ve done things that cannot be forgiven.. and..” 

Pure Vanilla frantically shook his head, taking a hold of the hand that pressed against his cheek. “No—! No, don’t say that! You’re going to be okay! I forgive you— I forgive you!” He pleaded, hot breath brushing against Blueberry Milk’s forehead as he spoke.

Another surge of healing magic. And yet, Blueberry Milk’s eyelids did not stop lowering, his mouth faintly parted. 

A soft breath left him, a painful smile stretched across his face before it eventually lowered.

“Nill.” The ancient fought back another wave of tears as Blueberry Milk began to rub his head, a reciprocation of the past tender moments that they spent together. 

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself,” Blueberry Milk whispered, his eyes now shut. 

“No.. Blue.. stop. Stop. Stop saying that…I can’t take it anymore, please,” Pure Vanilla dug his face into the other's shoulder, searching for a comfort that he would be chasing for a long, long time. If not, forever. 

Blueberry Milk smiled.

“I love you.”

Chapter Text

Death is nothing but a complete and utter joke. A mockery to his soul, and a cruel one at that. 

What Blueberry Milk felt as the most dreadful headache to envelop his head, accompanied by a fleeting temperature that was made of his body, only growing colder and colder. 

His eyes were moving — it was without a doubt that somehow he was awake. But, there was nothing to be seen of him, an endless pool of trance of limbo. Not quite there physically, but still left to rot in consciousness. Not even that witch forsaken silver tree could’ve been as insufferable as this. 

Is this the end of it? 

Reduced to nothing but a sip of obsolescence, made to become a loop of nothingness? 

Crumbling couldn’t have been so simple. To cease to exist with such haste, a porcelain doll shattering with ease. 

To think the last thing Blueberry Milk could set his eyes upon once more before death would intertwine its hands within him was the sight of Pure Vanilla’s soft, teary face adorned with misery. It was a shame, to say the least. If he could see himself right now, Blueberry Milk can only imagine the disgust that would twist over his face once he realized his final words to be spoken were voicing his final call of love for the other.

It couldn’t be helped, though.

What a pitiful way to go; and that’s all his crumbled body would be remembered for. A shame of a soul who would never be brought righteousness. But was that a gift he deserved to begin with? 

Blueberry Milk blinked, or at least could feel himself do so, yet nothing appeared before him. 

No longer seeping into the comfort of Pure Vanilla’s arms, presence absent of that hell of a solarium he wished he never stepped foot into. One part of Blueberry Milk longed to be blessed with the ability to somehow look upon what was happening, to be able to see into the world once more. 

But, perhaps not, as he would only suffer more having to witness the ancient’s mourning. 

That would be a fate worse than this. 

It wasn’t hard to realize Blueberry Milk only wished the best for someone like Pure Vanilla. That growing resentment that was once buried within the depths of his dough, the desire to see that ancient nothing less than a pile of crumbs — it had eventually turnt to neutrality. And as the days went on, a fondness. 

But, what truly was it that he had felt? 

It was easy for one to understand the two of them held what you could call a friendship, a simple label of a mending relationship. Or, at least the bloom of one. The beginning of something so deep, only for its life to be stomped away with a fate they could not avoid. 

Blueberry Milk felt more than just a mere bond. At times, it was as if he was simply losing his mind into delusions, or taking things to a conclusion that would be impossible. Bounded to the weight of an emotion he knew that he couldn’t ignore forever, until the day his body crumbled.

Love. 

It was a pain, truly. 

Or, even a slit of limerence if he knew better. A desire that would continue to bare its teeth. Every embrace, every exchange of their gazes, every small moment or touch, would only send Blueberry Milk further into a rabbit hole he could not climb from. 

How he had handled it, given the conclusion that he was in fact, infatuated with the other was not handled well, to say the least. Any attempt made of avoidance, or passive aggressiveness, was futile. Blueberry Milk knew all too well that it would only result in the ancients insufferable persistence to be closer to the other. 

It only sparked another spiral of questions through Blueberry Milk. If the feeling was mutual, he wouldn’t even be alive to find out. Unanswered words, abandoned to rot for good. 

It’s a shame, really. 

Yet, he still had one last wish that lingered; to relive the moment. Even if Blueberry Milk was bound to a loop of memories, at least it would serve as a comfort. An empty embrace to leave him to suffer within. In the end, as his vision seeped into darkness, Blueberry Milk did not want to cry. 

But he was petrified.

Too bad the beast wouldn’t be able to voice so, anyways, given the pangs of excruciating pain that would course through his dough whenever he moved his lips. It doesn’t take long to see the toll your own soul shattering would put into one’s body. 

He could only take so much before eventually losing himself. 

Ugh. 

He’d rather take the silver tree’s imprisonment than something as dull as this. Nothing but a dreary void, adorned with obsolescence.

It was irritating — the only desire that lingered in his mind was to just feel it one last time. Even a droplet of the compassion resonating with the ancient that he would never feel once more.

But, who was he to be blamed? 

Every dollop of the memories that would play over and over again would only accentuate this beast’s misery.

The air hung with an aroma of vanilla that made the nausea churning within his stomach twist with a repulse. If this was yet another fit of reliving, Blueberry Milk wouldn’t have wasted time to draw a blade to his own throat if he had to. 

‘Ugh.’

‘Not this again.’ Would be his first thought as his eyes opened, lids hanging low with exhaust. 

Blueberry Milk’s gaze lingered lazily along  what seemed to be the looming interior of his own bedroom, the chambers ever adorned with a darkness as a corollary to the sunlight blocked by heaps of dark. curtains.

And it's cold. 

Overwhelmingly frigid, as if this labyrinth of memories has grown tired of its repetition. It’s hilarious, considering Blueberry Milk was mutually sick of it. 

When would this end? Or has the spear that so lovingly made its way through his soul jam acted as some conductor of this never ending misery? 

Bringing the blanket to his shoulders, Blueberry Milk continued scanning the dark bedroom, body heavy with a sense of despair that would refuse to leave. This moment of feeling remained until the door opened with a sounded click, the beast’s eyes snapping to the source of the noise. 

He frowned. 

Of course. 

A glimpse of what seemed to be Pure Vanilla’s milky eyes could be seen until the door was pushed to a halt, his form now  visible. And as ever, the ancient was dressed with a sickening smile, set with genuine serenity. 

That soft, breathy voice only set another record of dread through Blueberry Milk. 

“Oh, Blue?”

Without a moment of hesitation, Pure Vanilla made his way towards the edge of the small bed, his staff beaming with a painful glare that softly glowed throughout the room. A warm contrast to its darkness.  Blueberry Milk only blinked as he met eyes with the ancient, and he held an absence of his response that did not diminish the other’s oh so gleaming smile. 

“You were out for so long,” Pure Vanilla remarked, fingers trailing along the fleece blanket. “I had grown worried, but—“ his face only inched closer to the beast’s. 

He titled his head, that irritating, welcoming smile only deepening. “Are you feeling alright?” 

For a moment, Blueberry Milk’s eyes narrowed with an indecision that only made him more frustrated. He was aware this was just another memory repeating, but Pure Vanilla wasn’t. 

This was not truly him.

The last thing Blueberry Milk wanted was to engage in it. So, with a turn of his head, he’d make a fail of a nod, eyes leaving the gentle gaze of the ancient. 

Pure Vanilla hummed, his face laced with perplexity. “Blueberry Milk? Is something wrong?”

Of course it is.

Still no response. Devoid of his words from the start, Blueberry Milk’s body only shuddered when he could feel a warm hand being positioned upon his shoulder. Pure Vanilla, feeling the beast stiffen under his hands, was only left in another daze of confusion. 

So oblivious that it nearly left Blueberry Milk with a faint suspicion. Of course, this was merely his mind toying with him. But it just felt wrong. Still, he did not say much, only a slight tilt of his head towards the other, his eye contact wavering. 

“No.” 

A heavy silence. Save for the faint clicks of the clock that positioned onto the wall, a subtle ambience within his chambers, it was once more interrupted by the ancient’s drawn out sigh. 

“Well,” Pure Vanilla clasped a bandaged hand against the other, his fingers intertwining. “While you were resting, I thought I might’ve baked something. Care to check the oven for me?” 

Blueberry Milk kept his gaze fixed onto the wall. “Do it yourself.” 

He didn’t really want to be so condescending. The passive aggressiveness, glaring eyes, this was all something meant to be left behind with his past self. A behavior reminiscent of the person that Blueberry Milk wanted to leave behind. But it was as if the memories playing over and over again within his head had sparked a defensiveness the beast could not quite understand himself.

Just what for had he been truly acting this way? 

It wasn’t real, after all. 

Perhaps, he was afraid. To have to put up with this was enough, but it would only hurt more to interact with nothing but a mere ghost of his friend. 

A subtle frown creeped up on Pure Vanilla’s lips, faltering his smile, but the expression remained still. “Are you sure there is nothing on your mind?” 

Blueberry Milk’s eyes only narrowed further, the temptation of a scowl lingering on his face. 

But he only shook his head, leaving little room for argument. With that, Pure Vanilla chose not to press further — surprisingly enough — exiting the bedroom with a slow pace. It wasn’t long before noises came from downstairs, a pot meeting the counter with a sounded clank. 

And for a moment, Blueberry Milk’s mind would drift off. Maybe, just maybe if he played into it, this memory would come to an end. 

There’s a soft creak that breaks from the floorboards when his feet meet the ground, Blueberry Milk’s hand positioned against the nightstand as he regains his balance. His body had grown weak overtime, wreaking with a tire that only reflected his mental state. 

Blueberry Milk was sick of this, so he might as well feed into this goddamn hell of a nightmare. 

The hall that stretched from the entrance of his bedroom loomed with an emptiness, a lack of true peace that was of their home. Every step the beast would take sent a faint echo throughout the heavy air, his ankles aching as it begged for rest.

But, he did not stop walking. Approaching further to the start of the staircase, Blueberry Milk’s gaze fixed onto the warm light spilling from the kitchen area.

Pure Vanilla’s idle hums could be heard within, that familiar melody he would always repeat whenever occupied only sending a swerve of unnerve through Blueberry Milk. Even as he inched closer to the kitchen’s entrance, the other had not noticed him, half lidded eyes focused on the large mittens being slid over his hands. 

“Nill,” Blueberry Milk rasped, arms folded against his body. The ancient perked up, his dazed expression twitching to a faint smile when their eyes had met. 

It was unsettling in a way, the way Pure Vanilla’s gaze fixed with pace, his voice reminiscent of a robot. A ghost programmed to terrorize Blueberry Milk within the memory.

“Ah. You’re up.” The ancients voice was dragged out in a manner, soft breaths that hitched in his throat. He motioned towards a nearly complete, small tart that laid upon the counter, the oven mitten slightly shifting on his hand. 

Pure Vanilla nudged a strand of hair from his face. “Help yourself to some. The recipe was a little much, but I think it turned out well!” A stretched smile. 

The air lacked that familiar warmth. Devoid of the comforting smell whenever the ancient baked, empty of true reality. Nothing but a mere dream. 

This was only made to be clear when Blueberry Milk brought a forkful of the pastry to his mouth, its flavor absent. The love always baked into it was not present, and so was its authenticity. The more the food coasted his tongue, the further it felt as if it was nothing but pure concrete enveloping his mouth. 

The slice was cold as it sat on his plate, the gaze from Pure Vanilla burning into his back as his chewing went on for a moment.

He did not want to look at the other. So with that, Blueberry Milk would continue to take bites from the treat devoid of any taste, not even so much as stealing a glance towards the ancient. 

But of course, the demoralizing silence had to be broken once more. 

“How is it?” Pure Vanilla enquired, drawing nearer towards the beast, blissfully unaware of the other’s clear discomfort. 

Not even bothering to force a smile, Blueberry Milk only nodded. “Fine.” 

That stiffness that held Blueberry Milk’s body in defensive stern softened upon the fleeting sensation of the other’s hand brushing against his face, and yet the scowl that the beast displayed only deepened. 

Pure Vanilla brushed a crumb from the other’s face, his hand enveloped in a coldness that felt off. 

“There’s something on your face,” Pure Vanilla mumbled, paying no mind to the glaring eyes that basked within Blueberry Milk’s hair. His head tilted, concentrated and tired eyes as he continued wiping, finally drawing back his hands. 

“You seem a bit exhausted as of now. Have you been getting proper sleep?” Pure Vanilla continued, turning to gather the now cleared plates, save for the smudges of jam and pastry crumbs. “I’ve actually planned something a little different for today, but we could call it off if you are feeling unwell.” 

So, he really was aware of Blueberry Milk’s state. 

Interesting. 

Still avoiding eye contact with the ancient, Blueberry Milk trailed a hand over his loosening braid. “What is it?” 

Pure Vanilla smiled. “Well, I had taken a trip to the market area, and..” he turned, shifting out of the kitchen before almost immediately returning with what seemed of a music box. A CD player, to be specific, the wooden case lightly dusted with lint.

Blueberry Milk perked up, his eyes flashing with discern. He could recall what memory was playing out by this point, and it was the last one he wished to remember, simply because of the intimacy it had held. 

It would only bring more pain, wouldn’t it? 

“Where— how did you get that?” Blueberry Milk rasped. Pure Vanilla perked a brow, slightly perplexed. 

“The market,” He repeated. 

Pure Vanilla’s ignorance of the others' uneasiness only made Blueberry Milk’s frustration grow. Out of all memories, why this? Why would his own mind do this to him? If death could have finished him off for good right then and there, he would’ve begged for it. 

He said nothing more, enticing Pure Vanilla to continue. 

The ancient bit his lip as he studied the CD player. “I was hoping I could get it to work, but I am not quite familiar with this asset. The seller handed me this, and said to simply insert it.” His fingers trailed along the box as he ejected a flashy, silver disk from it. 

Pure Vanilla slowly raised the container above his head, observing it. “But— I don’t know how to turn it on.” 

Is he stupid?

An arrogant huff left Blueberry Milk, already having had enough of it. Not only was this mental torture, but Pure Vanilla was driving him even madder. 

“Give me that.” Blueberry Milk snatched the CD player from the ancient, who stared back at him with dazed eyes. “Just press the button, and—“ 

Suddenly, a loud, soft melody filled the air. Pure Vanilla’s face retorted from a fleet of confusion to elation as a song broke out from the scratching disk, his hands clasping with joy. Blueberry Milk could only gaze back in disbelief, the familiar tune sending a wave of dread through his heart. 

He could recall the festivity of the ancient’s face when they had remained together when the song played over and over, embracing one another in a fit of small dances. 

This was cruel. 

Pure Vanilla grinned, taking a hold of Blueberry Milk’s hand as he led the other out of the kitchen and closer to the front of the home, setting down the music box onto the table. Genuinely elated, Pure Vanilla tapped a finger against the table along with the melody, soft hums reverberating through his throat. 

His eyes closed, Pure Vanilla leaned against the table. “This is lovely. I was never much of a music fan, but I’m glad I stumbled upon this, don’t you think?” 

No response.

The ancient opened his eyes, only to see that Blueberry Milk had kept a distance between the two. The beast’s gaze was fixed to the ground, even the eyes that adorned his hair avoiding meeting Pure Vanilla. 

Pure Vanilla blinked. “Blue?”

Blueberry Milk forced an attempt of a smile, his fingers digging into the sides of his arms. “Yes. It’s nice, Nill.” But his face said otherwise. “You go ahead and enjoy that. I’m going to excuse myself.” 

His head turned to the staircase, only to feel a hand wrapping around his arm. Blueberry Milk’s face twisted into that of disturb as his head lolled, eyes meeting with the ancients.

“Don’t go.” Pure Vanilla frowned. “I know you’re not in the best mood, Blue. Is there anything I could do to help?” 

There isn’t. You’re not even a real person. 

Suddenly, Pure Vanilla perked up, his face beaming. “I know!” Before Blueberry Milk could process it, eager hands only dragged him closer to the ancient, his face flushing with a flurry of warmth. 

“Nill—“ 

“Care for a dance?” Pure Vanilla grinned. 

Of course.

The memory would find one way or another to play out, much to Blueberry Milk’s dismay.  He could only muster a nod, a fragment of nervousness lingering within him as he inched closer to Pure Vanilla. The other smelt faintly of cinnamon, likely from his baking, and that familiar linger of sweet vanilla. 

“Do you wish to lead?” Pure Vanilla questioned, his voice brought to a hush. The music box’s gentle melody only continued on an insufferable loop that seemed to only irritate Blueberry Milk. 

But he didn’t show it. Instead, he forced yet another smile. 

“Okay.” 

Blueberry Milk hadn't known quite where to rest his hands upon, deciding on positioning them atop the ancient’s shoulders. But, indecisive as ever, he moved his left hand downwards, fingers intertwining with the others. 

And oh, how Pure Vanilla’s hands were as soft as ever. Cold, perhaps. But the ancient had always been an enjoyment to embrace. To admit such a thing to be true, though, would never come from Blueberry Milk’s mouth. 

“Go on.” Pure Vanilla’s voice was laced with an overwhelming allure, gentle as ever. 

“You know. For someone who’s not much of a dancer, you’re demanding,” Blueberry Milk remarked, slowly turning as Pure Vanilla’s body swerved. 

A gentle twirl, sending a small chuckle from Pure Vanilla. “My apologies. I suppose I'm rather eager,” He added, his lips curled into a smile. 

The two remained in a dance of a waltz for what felt like forever. Time did not seem as if it had dragged by once they became lost within one another’s embrace, Pure Vanilla’s eyes half lidded with bliss as the two’s gazes eventually met.

Blueberry Milk could feel the hum of his heart fluttering, lingering a melancholy. Such a fond moment, no room made for  proximity, and yet he could feel nothing but sadness. His body shuddered as the sensation of hands enveloping his waist grew, the beast’s gaze averting downwards. 

Pure Vanilla’s fingers trailed down lower and lower, till it reached a halt, their bodies continuing to move with a steady stream of sync. Just like that, Blueberry Milk’s hands also began to wander, and there they rested onto the other’s shoulders. 

As they continued along the home with their waltz, Blueberry Milk could feel his  eye contact wavering. 

“Pure Vanilla.” His voice was brought to a whisper, wishing to savor the moment, despite the pain of it. “Could I ask you something?” 

The ancient hummed, nodding with a small smile. His eyes were still shut, allowing Blueberry Milk to twirl him around. “Talk to me.” 

So gentle, so accepting. Blueberry Milk only despised it. Biting his lips, the beast lowered his head as their bodies continued swerving. “Does.. something not feel off to you?” 

Pure Vanilla shook his head.

“No. Tonight is very lovely, if I do say so myself.” He opened his eyes momentarily to glance up at Blueberry Milk before once more shutting them. “Why?” 

A soft sigh. Blueberry Milk paused the nibbling of his lips, a slight turn of his gaze. “…I just.” 

“I’ll miss this. A lot.” 

Pure Vanilla’s brow perked, a teasing smile pulling at the ancients face. “We could dance as much as you wish, Blueberry Milk. I never said this would be the least, now have I?” A gentle poke at the beast’s face. 

It was meant to be lighthearted, a gentle jab. But it only felt worse to Blueberry Milk. Without a word, he leaned forward, their slow dancing coming to an end as his arms wrapped around Pure Vanilla. Absence in the gap of time, the other returned the embrace. 

Pure Vanilla chuckled. “My. Ever since you have awoken, you’ve been behaving so strange, Blue,” Pure Vanilla remarked, his hand lazily running through the beast’s hair. Blueberry Milk’s braid began to unravel with a gentle swirl, locks of blue tresses enveloping his body. 

He tightened the hug, constricting the ancient with an ease. 

“I will ask you once more,” Pure Vanilla continued. “Is there something on your mind?” 

Nothing else could be heard except the melody that hung in the air. Slowly, but steadily, Pure Vanilla’s head hovered further over Blueberry Milk’s shoulder as he ran a finger over the music box, till it was shut off with a sounded click. 

It was quiet. 

Till gentle sniffles began to come from Blueberry Milk. 

“Oh, Blue.” Pure Vanilla mustered up a smile, resuming with caressing the other’s hair. This vulnerability had once been rare, but it's grown prevalent as time has passed. 

“It’s alright, my friend. You can talk to me about it another time.” His voice was so serene, heavy with nurture that it only brought tears to the beast’s eyes. 

Blueberry Milk was truly going to mourn this moment, wasn’t he? It was funny, crying into the arms of a mere ghost. A brisk memory that only had replicated his friend.

So, why does it feel so real? Why does every tear drop that lands onto the other dough seep with such precision, as if he was meant to be there just for him?

Pure Vanilla was not truly present. And at this point, Blueberry Milk could not care anymore. It was enough for him. 

Alas, the tears were short lived, Blueberry Milk drawing from the hug that sent a warmth through one another’s body that he had been searching for since waking up within this nightmare. The distance was made, and just like before he was cold once more, his soul aching for the other to hold it as always. 

Another flutter of his heart. Blueberry Milk met eyes with Pure Vanilla, their gazes still for what felt like forever. 

Please. 

His face inched closer towards the ancient, Pure Vanilla’s smile only deepening. He did not bother to move away, or even blink. In fact, the gesture was returned, leaning in further with ease. 

One last time. 

If Blueberry Milk would never see his dearest friend ever again, If death has completed its journey to him, he might as well take advantage of it before time is up.

Oh. 

It’s so soft.

Pure Vanilla had a tinge of sweetness, their lips interlocked like puzzle pieces that had longed to search for one another for a long, long time.

Blueberry Milk knew this was not a part of the memory, but with how he had yearned for the other, days and days of wishing for this moment, it was as if he had shattered the dream with his own decision.  

And he did not waste any time. The kiss only deepened, quietness hanging over the air of the home that would be broken occasionally by the sound of their devotion. Every soft touch, every slow brush of Pure Vanilla’s fingers that teased the other’s heart only sent Blueberry Milk into a sensation that could be reminiscent of floating. 

If hours had dragged by, Blueberry Milk would not be aware, and neither would Pure Vanilla. Not until the kiss had finally been broken — slowly but intently — shut eyes eventually opening once more. 

A laugh. Soft, syrupy. 

Pure Vanilla was laughing. He brought a hand to his flushed face, muffling his fit of emotion with little effort. 

Blueberry Milk did not reciprocate the laughter, but an unyielding smile did break past the depression that hung upon him. 

Eventually the fit of giggles from Pure Vanilla came to an end, accompanied by a blissful sigh that escaped his throat. 

“I will admit, I was not expecting that.” He smiled. 

“I could say the same,” Blueberry Milk conceded, attempting to mask the fact that he too, was embarrassed. 

Far from thinking straight, overcome by the sheer volume of desire that had grown tired of waiting. 

A silence dragged on as they remained by one another, their fingers intertwined with a soft passion. Unexpectedly, Pure Vanilla once more leaned in. 

His eyes fluttered to a shut. “I don’t see why another would hurt, hm?” Their noses grazed one another, foreheads pressed. 

Blueberry Milk nodded, his movements hesitant. And again had he found his lips pressed against the ancient’s, their embrace this time laced with less haste. 

More slow and gentle. Attentive, even. 

Pure Vanilla’s hands traced along Blueberry Milk’s shoulders until they came to a rest along the beast’s waist, gentle caresses of his fingers as their kiss deepened into its adoration. The beast’s heart continued to patter with an intensity that had fluttered against his chest, his body a consoling warmth. 

Blueberry Milk hummed, his arms raising as he cupped the ancients face within his hands. He broke the embrace, continuing with soft pecks that so lovingly rubbed against Pure Vanilla’s cheek. The other tilted his head to the side as he was smothered in gentle kisses, the amity that washed over him euphoric. 

And Blueberry Milk did not stop. He never wished to. Lips trailed from Pure Vanilla’s face to the ancient’s neck, doting the other with such cherish that he knew would be gone eventually. 

A soft giggle escaped Pure Vanilla once more, his arms shifting as they wrapped around Blueberry Milk’s neck. “Your eagerness only makes me happier, Blue.” 

The beast smiled. “Don’t blame me,” Blueberry Milk mumbled, voice muffled as his pecks resumed. He had drawn back his face to take in the sight of Pure Vanilla’s dazed eyes, fixed onto the ceiling. 

“Earthbread to Nill. You look completely out of it.” 

“Alright, alright.” Pure Vanilla smiled, planting a kiss on Blueberry Milk’s face. “As I said, I was not expecting this.” 

Blueberry Milk titled his head, hands still cupping the other. “I don't know why I did that.” His gaze faltered. “..But I know I needed to.” 

“Hm?” Pure Vanilla seemed perplexed. 

“…Forget it.” Blueberry Milk pulled the other into another hug, this time with no intention of letting go. He wanted to remain this way forever, even if the memory had soon to come to an end. 

He wanted to make the most of his time. And it was apparent it was approaching, the house slowly enveloping into a darkness that Pure Vanilla could not see. In fact, he only continued gazing into the other’s eyes, filled with unaware bliss. 

“Blue.” 

Blueberry Milk hummed. “Yes, Nill.” 

The air was growing colder. His arms tightened around Pure Vanilla, paying no mind to the trembling of his body. It was ending, wasn’t it? 

“I’ve had feelings I, too, have kept locked up,” Pure Vanilla admitted. His eyes fixed to the ground, his smile unfaltering. “I hope this does not affect our relationship.”

Blueberry Milk nodded into the ancient’s shoulder. “I know. You don’t have to worry about that, Pure Vanilla.” Hot tears threatened to blur the beast’s vision as his voice had grown shaky. 

“As..long as we are together.” 

The embrace began to sprout a warmth as Pure Vanilla’s soul jam pressed into Blueberry Milk’s chest. He wished to climb into Pure Vanilla and never leave. He wanted to melt, become one with the other until they were nothing but a spirit of each other's adoration. 

They began to sway their bodies once more, the hug deepening to a tightness that felt constricting. And still, neither of the two wished to let go. No matter how suffocating, even if breaths could not be made. 

As long as they had each other. 

Two sides of a coin, as ever. 

Even as the darkness was falling upon the two of them, Blueberry Milk kept his gaze fixed onto the ground. He could see the swerves of tendrils approaching them, the memory ceasing to exist. Death was calling for him, wasn’t it? 

He shut his eyes. 

“Hey.” Blueberry Milk mumbled. “Would you look at me crazy, if I said farewell?” 

No response. Even with the sensation of his arms absent with the ancient presence, he did not open his eyes. Blueberry Milk only continued to speak to himself, a brisk of freezing breeze wrapping around the beast’s body. Unnerving, yet so inviting. 

As if was ready to accept his time was up. 

“Don’t forget me. Please.” Warm, soft tears trailed down his face with an ease as trembling hands were brought to wipe them away. 

And just like that, the world had gone pitch black. Just as fast as his other half had faded in his arms, the beast was alone once more.

At least, somewhere out there, his crumbling body was not isolated.

He never wanted to die alone, anyways.