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Everything was wrong. It was so very wrong. How he'd gotten here, he didn't know, but he knew he deserved it. Even Kanan had abandoned him. Tears were starting to fall from Ezra's eyes as he clung to the side of the falling station, not just from the wind rushing past his face, or the guilt of letting everyone down, but from the pain of the blaster bolt that had somehow made it past his defensive maneuvers, striking him and leaving him steadily bleeding.
He knew he deserved this. He'd disobeyed orders, he'd nearly gotten his team killed, and adding to that, he'd lost the Phantom, a ship nearly as dear to his captain as the Ghost herself. Still he couldn't help crying out as he held on for dear life, refusing to let go, though there was no hope of rescue. "Kanan, where are you?" he cried, though he didn't deserve to be saved. He missed his master, missed the man he saw as a father, who had comforted him when he'd learned of his parents' deaths, who had trained him in the ways of the Jedi in spite of his stubbornness, his impatience, his lack of discipline and focus. Kanan had done so much for him, and still he'd betrayed him. Blinded him. Gotten someone they both cared for killed because of his foolishness. Worse, he'd turned to the very thing that had cost Ahsoka her life and Kanan his sight. Kanan had every right to ignore him after what he'd done to him, and he'd had the audacity to be angry with the man for taking the holocron away.
All of these thoughts swirled around in his mind as he held on, briefly wondering if maybe he should just let go. Afterall, he was dead anyway. Whether it be from the fall, or the blood slowly leaking out of his body. Perhaps that was a bit dramatic. The wound wouldn't kill him, at least, not fast enough for him to be dead before he hit the ground. That stupid trooper. One lucky shot was all he'd gotten before Ezra had ripped the gun out of his hand and used the Force to throw him to his death. Yet another person to add to his list of wrongdoings. Even if he was Imperial scum, it was wrong to use the Force the way he'd been using it. He knew this, but his lust for power and his guilt had driven him to a point of no return. Even if Kanan were to come for me, there's no point. I'm lost. he thought, allowing his eyes to close.
He was about to let go, when he heard a familiar voice call out to him. Opening his eyes, he called out in shock as he recognized the Force signature of his - former? master. "Kanan?" he called questioningly, looking over in disbelief as the man he'd thought would never speak to him again hung out the side of the Ghost, a hand outstretched towards him. "I can't reach you! It's too far!" he cried, trying to reach out, fear and pain causing him to cling back onto the station as he realized it was just too far to make it. Leave me. I don't deserve to be saved. his thoughts cried, though a small part of him still begged silently for help, the part that had silently been crying out since they returned from Malachor, and it had been revealed that Kanan's eyesight would never return.
Kanan didn't stop trying to reach out, seeming surprisingly desperate to reach the boy. "It's okay! I've got you!" Kanan called out, stretching out as far as he could without losing his grip on the Ghost. "Go ahead. Let go." he said calmly. Those words seemed to echo in Ezra's mind, the darkness hissing at him, reminding him that he didn't deserve to be saved, that letting go would mean doom as much as holding on. Still that side of him that couldn't let go of Kanan, wouldn't let go of the man who'd taken him in and taught him everything, cried out to trust in the man. For the first time in a long time, he listened to that side, letting go while reaching out for Kanan. The weightlessness of falling through the air was terrifying, yet still that small piece of hope refused to let go, causing him to reach as much as he could for Kanan, despite the pain it caused as it stressed his wound.
Kanan's hand grasped his, quickly pulling him into the safety of the Ghost, the rough landing caused him to see stars, his mind fuzzing out as he grunted in pain. Karabast, that stings! he thought, barely registering it as Kanan called out to Hera that Ezra was safe and to get going. Slowly he sat up, taking a deep breath as he trembled, the near-death experience leaving him rattled. Wasn't exactly his first time in a free-fall, but he'd also endangered everyone in his crew, been shot, left anyone else trapped on that station for dead, and of course, the Phantom was gone too. Now that he was safe, his mind was screaming at him, the darkness hissing its displeasure. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Kanan's face turned towards him, a concerned frown the only thing visible behind the mask he wore. "I'm okay." he said, quickly standing up, softly grunting as his wound screamed in protest once more, his head spinning slightly.
"You sure? You're not hurt are you?" Kanan asked, concern flooding his presence in the Force. For a moment, Ezra considered telling the truth.
"I-" he started, but his mind railed against him. Telling him how "hurt" you are when it's your fault he'll never get to see again? When you're the one who failed this mission? Once more he risked his life to save yours. How ungrateful, to complain of the little pain. You're not dying. Just suck it up. it hissed. "I'm good. Let's go join Hera in the cockpit. I owe her an apology." he said instead, straightening out. Kanan wouldn't notice the way he was walking, but Hera might if he came in slouched over at all. He'd cost her a ship. He didn't deserve her pity either.
Ezra tried to apologize once. Hera shut him down, and he couldn't blame her. After that the ride was spent in silence. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, didn't deserve this rescue, he should've just died down there. It would've been justice for everything he'd put them through since joining this crew. Briefly he was angry, after all she'd given him command of the mission, and he made a decision for the better of the rebellion. A piece of him whispered that he should snap back. He silenced it by pressing down on the wound, reminding himself that this was what he deserved. The pain, both emotional and physical. Each time that anger reared its ugly head, he'd press into the wound, not realizing he was breaking it open over and over again with each press, causing more blood to spill out. It was a miracle nobody noticed, but then again maybe they just didn't care. He deserved it after all. At least, that's what his thoughts screamed at him.
When they returned to base, Hera stripped him of command, the disappointment clear in her eyes and her tone. Again he pressed on the wound. He missed Zeb's words defending him as his mind greyed out for a moment, the pain taking over his other senses. When he could focus again, Hera was talking about how the bombers were for someone else. They weren't even for us, and you almost killed everyone. he thought, staring down at the ground.
Later on, he was staring out into the dangerous yet beautiful landscape of Atollon, and Kanan stood beside him silently. He's waiting for an apology. Of course he is. He can't see any of this, there's no reason for him to stand here except for that. Ezra thought, letting out a sigh. "I should've told you I was using the Sith holocron. I'm sorry. I wanted to believe it would help us." he said, a piece of his mind screaming at him that he had no reason to apologize, that the holocron was meant for him, that Kanan had no right to take it away. Another part screamed back, reminding him that he deserved everything he'd got. That he was the one who had failed, that he was the one who was weak, that he'd blinded Kanan and killed Ahsoka.
"We don't need that thing. We'll find another way." Kanan replied.
Again Ezra's mind screamed. It's MINE. Give it back! I need it. I need to be stronger! Ezra pressed down on his wound, silencing the screams. Still he couldn't resist asking what Kanan had done with it. Kanan placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a small smile.
"It's safe." he said, turning to walk away. Ezra hesitated, turning towards Kanan.
"Hey, Kanan?" he called, causing Kanan to turn back to him. "Thank you, for coming back for me."
"I'll always come back." Kanan promised. Ezra froze, his mind screaming at him once more.
He doesn't mean that. You almost got everyone else killed. You blinded him. You killed Ahsoka. You know the truth. He only came back for you because you dying there would've looked bad for him. That guilt that had been screaming at him yelled. It was his voice, a dark hiss underlying every word. Face it, without the holocron you're useless. You're pathetic. You should just give up and die. Ezra pressed down on his wound, the pain growing more and more as he stood there. I'm just a burden. I'm useless to them. This pain is exactly what I deserve. he told himself, again pressing harder on the wound, feeling more blood gush out than before. A small part of him cried out, screaming for help, begging him to stop hurting himself and tell Kanan the truth. It was too late though, as he watched Kanan begin to walk away his mind began to grow black, his vision blurring as his body trembled. HELP ME! That little voice screamed, an echo of a younger Ezra who hadn't made the same mistakes he did. He felt himself wavering, a hand reaching out towards Kanan in desperation. "K...a-nan." he breathed as everything went dark, his body dropping to the ground with a thud.
He wasn't awake to see Kanan freeze as his presence in the Force suddenly flickered and became mute.
When Kanan had decided to return, he'd been confident things would go back to how they used to. He'd start training Ezra again, and while it would be a little different, he knew his crew would be more than happy to have him back for missions. When they'd saved Ezra something had felt off, like the kid wasn't all there, but Ezra had told him he was fine, and Kanan trusted the boy. He couldn't see anymore, but he didn't need his eyes to see his padawan. At least that's what he'd thought. How foolish of him.
As he walked away from Ezra, reassured after their conversation, he felt a sudden disturbance in the Force. Something was off, the sound of a thud behind him had him turning quickly. "Ezra?" he called, questioning, concern and fear beginning to fill him. "Ezra. What happened?" he called again, reaching out as he walked forward, trying to feel Ezra's presence. Something was wrong, very VERY wrong. He couldn't sense Ezra, not clearly. His foot hit something, and he froze once more before quickly dropping to his knees. "Ezra! Ezra, can you hear me?" he called out, realizing it was his padawan who was on the ground, that thud being his body. He ripped off his mask, forgetting for a moment that his eyes wouldn't help him, desperate to fix whatever was wrong. When he remembered they were no use, he reached out, placing a hand on Ezra's body, trying to figure out why he'd fallen. He froze as his hand touched something wet and sticky his blind eyes opening wide. "Oh kriff, Ez!" he cried, gently shaking the boy, trying to rouse him. Ezra barely let out a moan, telling Kanan that at least he was alive. Kanan couldn't see how bad the injury was, Ezra's use of the Dark Side had clouded their bond, making it weak. He quickly hopped on comms, calling out to the first person he thought of. "Hera! Hera, I need help! Ezra's injured!" he called.
"What!? Kanan, what do you mean he's injured? He was just fine when we got here!" Hera replied, concern in her voice.
"I know! I don't know what happened, but after we talked he just....he just dropped! Hera, please, I can't tell how bad it is. Just get over here and get a medic!" Kanan commanded, his concern for Ezra growing with every moment. I can't kriffing see him. I can't help. I can't do anything! he thought, gripping Ezra's body close to him, one hand pressing down on the wound as the other held him. He reached out for Ezra's hair, instinctively trying to run his fingers through it, and realized Ezra had at some point cut it all off. Nothing left but a short haircut Kanan felt didn't suit the boy he'd known. "Hang on Ezra. Just hang on." he begged, wishing desperately he had the power to heal.
"Kanan!" Hera's voice called out. He hadn't told her he was just outside the Ghost, that they had been standing towards the edge of Chopper Base.
"Over here! We're right here!" Kanan called back, not turning his face away from Ezra, wishing desperately that his eyes could see again. Bendu had taught him that he wasn't truly blind, but that hardly seemed to matter when his kid was on the ground bleeding from a wound he'd failed to notice. He heard multiple sets of footsteps come running up behind him, followed by a gasp from Hera as she laid eyes on Ezra. What is it? What do you see? Tell me what I can't see, please! he wanted to beg, but he didn't. "Help him." he simply said, turning his face towards where he'd heard the medics come.
Ezra's body was taken from his arms, the boy moved onto a floating cot that the medics could use to transfer him to their small medspace. Kanan stood up, quickly following them, ignoring Hera's call of concern. He was hurt. He was hurt and I missed it. How could I miss that? How could I have not known? Have we really grown so far apart? his mind raced as they reached the medbay, the flurry of activity from the medics an unintelligible blur to him as he stood there, just waiting to hear what they had to say about Ezra.
Several sets of footsteps and the sound of a droid came rushing into the room, alerting him to the presence of the rest of the crew. "Karabast, what happened to him?" Zeb whispered, and Kanan could picture the way his ears would pin down, his eyes widened with concern. He and Ezra had become like brothers in the years the kid had been with them, and Kanan knew missing that the kid was injured was something he'd be beating himself up over for a while.
"I don't know, he seemed fine when we arrived back on base." Hera replied, having been right behind him following the medics.
"He didn't sound injured when he ordered us to leave in those bombers. I never would've left him behind if I'd known." Rex spoke up, the guilt of a soldier leaving an injured brother behind plain in his voice.
"None of us saw it, even when Hera brought him back. Ezra's always been good at hiding injuries but something like this?" Sabine whispered, and that had Kanan even more concerned. Just how bad was this wound?
Kanan reached a hand up to his face, freezing when he felt that same stickiness he'd felt before on Ezra. Blood. he realized. It was Ezra's blood. Ezra's blood is on your hands. His breathing quickened, his body starting to tremble. Ezra's blood. Ezra's blood. EZRAS. BLOOD. his mind screamed. He started to back up, his face turned downward instinctively to stare at hands he couldn't see. Ezra's blood Ezra's blood Ezra's blood Ezra's blood Ezra's blood EZRA'S BLOOD. Over and over this thought coursed through is mind, a gasping breath coming out of him as he spiraled downwards.
"Love. Come on." Hera's voice whispered, her presence barely making its way through the fog, his mind still trapped in a cycle of screaming as she led him out of the medbay.
He knew the moment they were back on the Ghost, knew the ship well enough he didn't need her help as he raced into the fresher, shoving his hands under the water, forgetting he was wearing gloves he could easily remove as he desperately began to wash them off. EZRA'S BLOOD EZRA'S BLOOD EZRA'S BLOOD EZRA- the cycle never seemed to end, interrupted only by Hera's hands reaching around and gently clasping his. He took in a breath, tears beginning to spill from his eyes. "Ezra....Ezra's...." he whispered, words escaping him.
"Shhh, Love." Hera whispered, gently pulling the gloves off his hands before helping him scrub them once more. "It's alright. I'm here. Let me help you." Kanan complied, unable to do anything else as she took a washcloth and gently cleaned the blood he'd smeared on his face when he'd reached his hand up.
The thought of that nearly sent him spiraling again, falling to his knees. Hera quickly wrapped her arms around him, shushing him once more as she ran a gentle hand through his pulled back hair. "He could've died. I was walking away. I didn't...I can't..." he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and burying his face against her chest. "I can't see him Hera." he whispered, knowing she'd understand what he meant. He'd explained to her long ago the way the Jedi could "see" each other's presence in the Force. It was his only way to see any of them now, and yet still he was blind to Ezra. It killed him.
"Oh, Love." Hera whispered, kissing him on the head. "I know how you're feeling. Somehow we missed this, all of us. I even yelled at him when he tried to apologize." That didn't make him feel any better. He was supposed to be responsible for the kid.
"I abandoned him. I wasn't there for him when he needed me. This is my fault." he whispered, the tears continuing to spill out.
"Kanan, you lost something huge. Of course you'd need time to process it." Hera replied. "We should've been looking out for him better."
Kanan shook his head. "My eyes don't excuse my negligence. Ezra is my padawan. He was hurting too. I missed that by wallowing in my own fear."
"Then maybe you should talk to him when he wakes up." Kanan took a deep breath. "He'll be alright. I know he will. We'll make sure of it." Hera promised, somehow sensing Kanan's doubt.
"Thank you." Kanan whispered, pulling back so he could take one of her soft, gentle, beautiful hands in his. "Come on. We should go see Ezra." he said, slowly standing up.
"Of course." Hera replied, keeping hold of his hand as they left the Ghost. Kanan could sense the emotions of his crew as they re-entered the medbay, all of them still holding a guilt for not noticing Ezra's wound. Sabine's was particularly strong, and he noticed she'd taken a seat next to Ezra. Giving Hera's hand a squeeze before letting go, he walked over to the girl, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"He's gonna be okay." He told her.
"I know." Sabine whispered back, letting out an uncharacteristic sniffle. Sabine didn't cry often. Kanan was about to ask what the medics had said when Sabine spoke again. "They said there were signs he'd made the wound worse. That it had reopened several times." Kanan's heart broke hearing that, and he understood why the guilt was so heavy. Sabine let out another sniffle, and Kanan felt it as the girl shifted to lay her head against Ezra, trying to hide her tears. "I should've said something. Ezra has been acting so strange. I knew something was off. I should've told you, or Hera."
"Thinking like that won't change what happened. I doubt it would've affected the outcome anyways. Ezra probably would've pretended he didn't know what you were talking about. I wasn't exactly any help these past six months." Kanan told her. "You can't blame yourself." He sighed, addressing everyone else as well. "That goes for all of you too. Ezra needs us. There's been enough guilt here." he said.
He sensed it as everyone took in his words, the heaviness leaving the room a bit. Sabine relaxed a little under his hand, and he felt it as she slowly sat back up, though she didn't leave Ezra's side. You're not alone kid. I'm sorry I was gone for so long, but I meant it Ez. I'm back. We're all here for you, so please, don't ever leave us. he thought as he turned his head towards where he thought Ezra would be. He reached out for their bond, though it was now muted because of the pain meds Ezra had been given. I'm here. he called.
Though Ezra couldn't respond, Kanan felt their bond grow just the slightest bit stronger.
Ezra was out for several days. In that time, he was never alone.
Kanan and Sabine spent the most time by his side, with the others coming in when they could, but there was still a rebellion to run, which meant they couldn't all stay behind, no matter how each of them wanted to. Even Chopper would spend time with the boy whenever Hera didn't need him. Hera would often sit by Ezra's side, whispering to him about how loved he was, reminding him that though she'd been disappointed in how he'd handled that mission, she was so proud of him for how far he'd come. Kanan had said the same things that evening as he sat by Ezra's side, wanting the boy to know he was proud of him.
Zeb often sat in silence, or else complained that things were too quiet without Ezra around. "It's not the same without you kid. Can't enjoy blowin' stuff up when you're not around to blow it up with me, so get better." the lasat had commented, unaware Kanan was off to the side listening. He'd smiled at that, commenting to Ezra that he'd gotten closer to the lasat than anyone else had before, which was impressive considering how they'd started out fighting all the time. Chopper had also been listening, and recording every word. Kanan made the bot swear not to show anyone else, except maybe Hera. He knew it would make her smile.
Then there was Rex, who was more often busy than not having so much needed experience from having fought in the Clone Wars. Still, the old clone found time to sit by the boy. Rex had understood too well the way Ezra had reacted, having lost a few brothers to the kind of thoughts they all knew the kid had been thinking in keeping a wound from them and injuring himself further. The guilt, the shame, the loss. It weighed so heavily on someone, especially someone as young as Ezra. He was only 17. Just barely old enough to have been given command. "It's not your fault kid. She knew what she was doing." Rex whispered as he sat by the boy. "Ahsoka wouldn't blame you, and she wouldn't want you to blame yourself either." Kanan had walked away after that, he couldn't see the tears in Rex's eyes, but he heard it in his voice. Rex needed some more time with the kid.
There were the nights Ezra would dream, but not awaken. Sabine and Kanan would both sit on either side of the boy, reassuring him and holding him down so he wouldn't rip open the stitches he'd needed. "It's okay Ezra. I'm here. We're both here. Everyone's okay." Sabine whispered, his hand gripped tightly in one of hers while another gently pressed down on his shoulder. Kanan could sense her strong emotions, whether the girl recognized them or not he wasn't sure, but he couldn't help smiling. The two of them kind of reminded him of how he and Hera had started out when they'd met.
When Ezra finally awoke, it was out of the throes of one of these nightmares. Only Kanan was with him in that moment, but he'd reached out when he'd heard Ezra's cries, both through the Force and physically. "Shh, it's okay Ezra. It's okay." he whispered, expecting the boy to simply fall back asleep. But then he'd sensed a change, an awareness that had been missing before as Ezra bolted upright, crying out his name. "Ezra!" Kanan cried as the boy grunted in pain, his breathing coming in pants. "Hey, hey. Calm down, you're alright. Everything is alright." Kanan soothed. He sensed the confusion in the boy as Ezra became more aware.
"Kanan?" Ezra whispered.
"I'm here. You're okay. You're in the medbay on Chopper Base." Kanan told him, gently pushing Ezra to a laying position.
"I....I'm...." Ezra started, but didn't finish. Kanan sensed darkness rising around his padawan, and he quickly reached out to grab the kid's hand as he heard a shifting sound on the bed.
"Stop that!" he commanded. "Don't you dare. Ezra, why would you do this?" He had a feeling he knew exactly why, but he wanted to hear it from Ezra. When Ezra remained silent, Kanan gave his hand a squeeze, placing his other hand on the kid's shoulder as well, wanting Ezra to know he wouldn't leave without an answer. "Kid, please. Talk to me." he begged.
"I don't...." Ezra started, and Kanan heard his breath hitch as the boy fought back tears. Kanan reached out in the Force once more, reaching for Ezra through the dark clouds. He begged the kid to let him in, to show him what he was thinking if he couldn't voice it out loud. He felt surprise, and then reluctance, followed by a struggle to open up, but then Ezra's mind was open for him. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve forgiveness. You should've left me on that station. I'm lost. I've been lost. I hurt you. I hurt everyone I care about. I'm too weak. I'm just a burden. Pain is the least of what I deserve. Ezra's thoughts cried, but there was a dark hiss underlying them. It wasn't just Ezra. The holocron had left its mark, and if it couldn't have him, it would make sure it destroyed him.
"Oh, Ezra." Kanan whispered, feeling the darkness hiss at his intrusion, trying to fight against him and the light he brought. He could sense another piece of Ezra, the piece that desperately fought towards the light. That wanted nothing more than to have his master back, to have the light returned. Those thoughts, they aren't true. Not a single one. Kanan told the boy. We've all messed up. That doesn't make you weak. It's a lie, a lie I should've been there to help you see through. He was reaching for that light, sending Ezra his love, his acceptance, his desire to reconnect with the boy.
He's lying to you! You think he forgives you? He abandoned you because you are useless. You blinded him. You KILLED Ahsoka. You. Are. WEAK. The darkness screeched, taking over Ezra's thoughts, attacking Kanan's light, desperate to smother the boy out, to make him give up. It was working. Ezra began pushing Kanan out, his own fears and doubts rushing in. He'd been abandoned by the one man he was supposed to trust more than anyone. It had stung the boy to the core, that fear of abandonment the crew had worked so hard to rid him of returning with a vengeance.
No! Ezra! Don't! Kanan cried, but Ezra shut him out. "Ezra, please." he begged as he sensed Ezra begin to shut his emotions down, to hide away from everything except the darkness which he could not escape. Ezra ripped his hand out of Kanan's, shrugging the hand off his shoulder as well, doing everything he could to tell Kanan he wasn't welcome. Kanan refused to let go. He reached over, carefully pulling the boy into a hug. Ezra froze, a wave of confusion rushing in over the fear the boy was feeling.
"Kanan, let go!" Ezra demanded, though there were tears in his voice, and his attempts to shove Kanan away were weak. "Just stop!"
"No." Kanan whispered, holding the boy tighter, though careful not to disturb his wound. "No Ezra, I won't let go. I need you to hear me. Please." he begged. Ezra's struggles grew even weaker, so Kanan continued. "I'm sorry. I truly mean it." he whispered, and Ezra stopped. "I never should have abandoned you. I was afraid. Afraid I couldn't teach you. Afraid I was going to lose you. In my fear, I forgot just how much the Force allowed me to see." He felt tears fall on his shoulder, and he could sense he was beginning to break through. He reached out in the Force again, sending Ezra his apology, sending him the love he felt, sending him the regret as well, knowing Ezra needed to understand that Kanan had made a mistake too. "I couldn't see you through my own pain, I'm so sorry. But I see you now, Ezra. I see you."
There it was. That light he'd known Ezra to be since the moment they met. Kanan reached out to it, burning away the darkness. Ezra began crying harder, wrapping his arms around Kanan. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." he choked out, sobbing softly.
"I know. I know buddy. I'm sorry too." Kanan whispered back. He felt the last of the darkness melt away, though it hissed at him, promising to return. Threatening to take the boy away. Not as long as I'm around. he thought, shooing the last shreds out of his boy's mind like it was a pest. Ezra finally relaxed in his arms, his sobs slowing down to sniffles.
"I missed you." Ezra whispered.
"I missed you too." Kanan said before finally pulling back. Ezra grunted softly, and Kanan made him lay back down. They were both silent for a moment, reconnecting with each other in the Force. When Kanan felt Ezra pull back, he did as well, smirking as he heard the kid let out a relaxed sigh. "Don't get too comfortable. Our conversation may be over, but you know you're about to have an earful from the rest of the crew, right?" he said with a chuckle. Ezra groaned.
"Oh, kriff." the kid whispered.
And an earful he got. Kanan hadn't had to comm the group, the medics had been under strict orders to let them all know when Ezra woke up. They'd let Kanan have that conversation first, but as soon as they'd seen Ezra start to relax, they'd sent for the rest of the Spectres, including Rex. All five of them came running in at the same time, each having a ton to say to Ezra. Everyone took turns scolding him for a moment before reassuring him that they only did so because they cared about him and he'd scared them. Even Chopper had yelled at the boy before gently reaching out his robot hand and patting him on the leg. Sabine had wrapped him in a hug, almost too tight to handle, but he didn't complain. Zeb threatened to lock the kid up if he ever pulled a stupid stunt like that again, but Chopper had made a quip about missing explosions and Zeb had grown quiet. Rex had told Ezra that he could talk to him if he ever felt that way again, letting him know that he'd lost too many brothers to those things to allow it to happen again. Kanan could feel as Ezra truly began accepting their love once more, that shadow of doubt being drowned out by the Spectres' show of care.
It would be a few more days before Ezra was fit to train and go on missions again, but just as he'd promised, Kanan was there waiting when the time came, and so was the rest of the crew.
Ezra would never have to fear being abandoned again.