Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After a long and grueling battle to reclaim the Watergate City, Priestella, a few weeks ago, Subaru finally had a moment to gather with his camp and discuss their next objective, the conquest of the Pleiades Watchtower in the Auriga Sand Dunes. If they could reach the Sage, they might uncover the knowledge needed to wake Gluttony’s victims and free the people of Priestella from Lust’s lingering authority.

The flickering candlelight cast long shadows across the room, amplifying the tension in the air. Subaru’s hand rested on the table as Otto, ever the cautious strategist, spoke.

“Natsuki-san, I still think this is a terrible idea,” Otto said, his disapproval evident, voice low as though he didn’t want to stir up more trouble than necessary.

Subaru waved his hand dismissively, as if shooing away an annoying fly. "Oh, come on, Otto, it can’t be that bad."

Otto Suwen, the head of internal affairs for the Emilia camp, stood firm, his brows furrowed with worry. “Subaru, even Reinhard wasn’t able to cross the dunes.”

“He’s right,” Emilia added, her tone carrying a weight of reluctance as she crossed her arms, her expression hardening as she met Subaru’s gaze. “Even with Reinhard’s strength, he couldn’t make it through the dunes.”

Subaru, unfazed, leaned forward, his grin a defiant streak of optimism amidst the grim atmosphere. "Emilia-tan, we have a lead now. Plus, we’ll be going with more people than Reinhard did.”

Despite his usual overbearing enthusiasm, the silence that followed only amplified the doubt in the air. After everything that had happened in Priestella, the idea of letting Subaru charge headfirst into another death trap didn’t sit well with them. They’d already seen too much.

“Beako, why don’t you help me out here?” Subaru’s voice grew pleading, trying to reach Beatrice, the spirit who usually saw through his reckless antics.

Beatrice’s lips curled in a pout, eyes darting away with exaggerated huffiness. “Betty agrees with them, I suppose,” she murmured, clearly unwilling to indulge him.

“Even my cute Beako doesn’t want to back me up? I’m hurt.” Subaru feigned exaggerated offense, attempting to lighten the mood with a playful ruffle of the blonde spirit’s hair.

Beatrice slapped his hand away, her face painted with indifference. “Flattery won’t save you, I suppose. Betty isn’t so easily swayed.”

Subaru sighed, looking over the group again, searching for someone to meet his eyes, someone who understood him. He found only uncertainty.

“Well, at least some people here should see reason,” Subaru said, a small spark of hope latching onto Julius and the woman who now carried Anastasia’s guise, Anastasia .

Julius, ever the picture of composed elegance, met Subaru’s gaze, his voice calm and steady. “If you’re looking for my approval, I see no issue with it. This is our best chance at uncovering a way to counteract the Witch Cult’s power.”

"Got to say, I’m with pretty boy on this one," Echidna, or rather someone disguising up as Anastasia, chimed in, her voice playful but carrying an undertone of calculation. "Ain’t you the one who just loves stirring up trouble for the Witch Cult? If anyone’s crazy enough to pull this off, it’s you."

Subaru winced at her words, as though she’d nudged him toward something he didn’t want to think about. Even when she was helpful, it felt like she was pushing him closer to a coffin, tempting fate with her words.

"Hate how you said that, but thanks for the vote of confidence, Anastasia." His voice was light, but the unease gnawed at the edges of his thoughts.

Otto scowled. “Why are you two so eager to send Subaru into danger?”

Echidna chuckled softly, twirling a strand of auburn hair. "Ain’t it obvious? If he pulls this off, it benefits all of us. Besides, he’s survived worse, hasn’t he?"

Julius nodded in agreement. "I won’t downplay the dangers, but I trust in Subaru’s ability to make it through. He has a talent for defying expectations."

“Hear that? Talent,” Subaru said, offering Otto a smug grin. "See, I am good for something."

“That’s not the takeaway here,” Otto groaned, clearly unamused.

Emilia, still standing at the heart of the group, frowned, the tension in her expression only deepening. “Even if you think you can do it, that doesn’t mean you should. I don’t want you risking yourself again so soon.”

“Well, that’s where we’ll have to agree to disagree,” Subaru replied with a tight smile. "We don’t have time to sit around. The longer we wait, the worse things get for Gluttony’s victims.”

The room grew heavy, the silence thick with unspoken words. Everyone knew who he was talking about, Rem .

The name hung like a noose around his neck. The girl that only Subaru remembered. The girl who only he could mourn.

The quiet stretched, suffocating, until a voice cut through the thick tension.

“Do as you please.”

All eyes turned to Ram, who had been sitting quietly until now. She rested her chin on one hand, her usual lack of concern written all over her face.

"Ram, you too?" Emilia asked, her voice tinged with hope, clearly wishing for some sign of support.

"Why should I care what Barusu does?" Ram’s voice was as indifferent as always, the smirk on her face cutting deep. “If he wants to throw himself into another death trap, that’s his business.”

Subaru clutched his chest dramatically, his expression one of mock hurt. “You wound me, Ram-chi. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”

Ram didn’t spare him a second glance, sipping her tea as though nothing mattered more than her quiet enjoyment of the moment. “I slept just fine. But having to end my night listening to you? That’s what’s unpleasant.”

Subaru groaned, the familiar sting of her words cutting deeper than he would ever admit. “Jeez, you really don’t hold back, huh?”

Ram barely acknowledged his groan. “If you’re expecting pity, look elsewhere, Barusu.”

Otto cast Ram a bewildered look. “How can you be so indifferent? Shouldn’t you at least pretend to care?”

Ram shrugged, eyes half-lidded as she set her cup down. “I could. But that would be giving Barusu too much credit.”

Subaru’s lip curled into a slight pout, but at least Ram’s indifference meant one less obstacle. She wasn’t actively stopping him.

With the group split down the middle, Subaru clapped his hands, trying to dispel the lingering heaviness. “Alright, looks like we’re at a roadblock. Half of you are against it, half of you are for it.” He turned to Emilia, offering a grin that felt too sharp for the room. “So, how about we make a deal?”

Emilia sighed, her gaze shifting between the others. "Why do I feel like I won’t like this?"

“Because you don’t trust me enough, obviously,” Subaru said, laying a hand over his heart as if wounded. “But listen, all I’m saying is… let’s take a breath. Sleep on it. Everyone’s still exhausted after Priestella, and we’re all running on stress and emotions. Arguing about this now won’t get us anywhere.”

Otto narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “That sounds like a convenient way to push this off until you do whatever reckless thing you want tomorrow.”

“Oh, come on, Otto, would I do that?”

“Yes.”

Subaru clicked his tongue, feigning offense. "Alright, fair, but this time, I promise I’ll wait until we talk it out properly in the morning. Deal?"

Emilia hesitated, her eyes scanning the group. The tension hadn’t completely dissolved, but a weariness settled over them all. Even Otto, despite his concerns, didn’t argue further. Beatrice yawned, curling up in her seat, while Julius gave a small, quiet nod. Echidna, still masquerading as Anastasia, seemed entertained by the spectacle. Ram remained, as always, indifferent.

“See? That wasn’t so hard,” Subaru said, stretching his arms behind his head. “Now, let’s all get some well-earned beauty sleep. Some of us need it more than others.”

“Care to repeat that, Barusu?” Ram’s voice had softened, but the glint in her eye made Subaru quickly raise his hands in surrender.

“Nope! Nothing! Goodnight, everyone!”

With that, the meeting ended, and everyone began to disperse to their rooms. Subaru walked to his quarters, finally letting out a breath that felt heavy with unspoken thoughts.

The moment his body hit the bed, the weight of the past few days crashed over him. His limbs ached, and his mind swirled with thoughts of the looming tower, the risk of failure, and that same, aching emptiness that only grew larger when he thought of Rem .

"...Tch," he clicked his tongue, rolling onto his side. "No use losing sleep over this."

Not that telling himself that ever worked. The shadows of guilt always found a way to creep in.

He could still hear the echoes of their conversation, Emilia’s objections, the weight of her disapproval. Even with half of them supporting him, the battle still felt distant. And if Emilia didn’t approve, how could anyone else?

He shut his eyes, a deep breath swelling in his chest.

“Just wait, Rem. I’ll get you back.”

Tomorrow… he’d make them understand. One way or another, they had to go.

---------------------------------------------

Subaru’s eyes snapped open with a jolt. "An unfamiliar ceiling." His voice was hoarse, and for a moment, the cold air seemed to press in on him like a physical weight. Then, the biting chill hit him full force, sharp and cruel, like plunging into ice-cold water. His breath puffed out in the frigid air, visible before his eyes as he pushed himself up, shivering.

"Where am I? And why is it so damn cold?" His voice felt strange in the stillness of the room, distant, as though he was far from the warmth of his own life.

His gaze drifted across the space, trying to make sense of his surroundings. The room was large, opulent even, yet there was something about it that felt foreign, oppressive. The thick curtains were drawn back slightly, allowing a faint, almost ghostly light to filter in through the tall window. It was a pale, eerie light that made the shadows stretch long across the room and made the cold seem even more piercing. The walls, covered in fine tapestries, seemed to close in, thick with silence.

Then, the figure beside him stirred.

Silver hair.

"Emilia!" he blurted out, the name leaving his lips instinctively, before his brain could catch up.

The girl’s head turned toward him slowly, a soft smile gracing her lips. “Yes, that’s right, Subaru… It’s me, Emilia.”

Something in her voice sent a shiver down his spine, a dissonance that didn’t belong. Her smile was gentle, but it had a strange quality to it, like a mask she was wearing just for him. Her hair, so much shorter than he remembered, fell around her shoulders in a way that felt… off. It was a style more reminiscent of Rem than Emilia.

Subaru blinked rapidly, his thoughts scattered as he pushed himself up to a sitting position. That’s when he noticed something else. His clothes weren’t his usual, he wasn’t wearing his familiar jacket, no, he was dressed in what could only be described as a knight’s uniform. It was old, worn, patched in places, and there were stains on it that he didn’t recognize. His brow furrowed in confusion.

“Uh, Emilia... did you change my clothes while I was out?” he asked, his voice rough. He scratched his cheek, awkwardly. “And seriously, where are we?”

Emilia said nothing for a long moment. Her amethyst eyes locked onto his, deep and unwavering, but not with the warmth he was accustomed to. No, her gaze was colder now, laced with something he couldn’t quite place, something unsettling.

Before he could ask again, a biting chill pressed against his skin, the cold somehow even more suffocating than before. The room felt even stiller, like it was holding its breath. And yet, despite the creeping dread that began to gnaw at him, Subaru forced himself to stand, his legs trembling as he moved toward her.

As if on cue, Emilia stood too, her movements deliberate, almost rehearsed. Before Subaru could process what was happening, she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into an embrace.

"I’ve missed you, Subaru," she whispered, the words sweet, but carrying a weight of something darker, something heavier.

Subaru froze, his heart racing as her warmth enveloped him, contrasting violently with the icy air. She smelled like something floral, sweet, yet sharp, like perfume that was just a little too strong, a little too invasive. His breath caught in his throat as his body tensed in her hold.

Something’s wrong . Subaru thought, the unease in his gut now twisting into a knot. This wasn’t the Emilia he knew, not even close. This warmth, this affection, was too much, too sudden. It suffocated him.

Subaru let out a nervous chuckle, raising his arms hesitantly to return the hug. “I-I missed you too, I guess…? But, uh, where exactly is ‘here’? Why did you cut your hair? And why is it so cold?”  

Emilia didn’t answer right away. Instead, she simply nuzzled against his shoulder, breathing in as if to commit his scent to memory. Subaru tensed at the sensation, it was more intimate than he was used to from her.  

After a moment, she finally pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, her amethyst eyes practically glowing in the dim light of the room. “You always ask so many questions, Subaru.”  

Subaru blinked, his head spinning. "Uh, yeah? Because I like knowing what’s going on?"

Emilia giggled, a soft, melodic sound, but there was something too airy about it, too dreamy. “That’s just like you.” Her gaze never left his, as if waiting for a reaction, her fingers sliding into his with a softness that felt far too intimate.

He swallowed. “Uh, right,” he said, forcing a chuckle, but it felt weak. “So, where are we, exactly?”

Emilia hummed, her fingers gently curling around his as if she was trying to keep him close. “You don’t have to worry about anything right now,” she said, her voice carrying a strange comfort, like a lullaby, soothing but empty. “Just rest. You must be so tired after everything.”

Subaru’s heart skipped a beat. "What did she mean by that?" Everything felt wrong, but how could he argue against her? How could he question her when she was so gentle, so insistent? He wanted to say something, anything to break the uneasy tension, but the words got stuck in his throat.

Before he could speak again, Emilia gave a small tug on his hand, leading him to the bed. It was massive, its posts towering high like a throne, the blankets plush and heavy, so much warmth inviting him to just collapse into it.

"Wait, wait!" Subaru stammered, stumbling slightly as she practically pulled him into the bed. “I can warm up without.....”

But it was too late. Emilia was already there, wrapping herself around him, her body pressing against his in a way that felt almost possessive.

“There,” she whispered softly, resting her head on his chest as if this was where she belonged. “Much better.”

Subaru froze, his mind racing. Was this real? Had he somehow crossed into a nightmare? Her warmth was overwhelming, but there was something suffocating about it. He wanted to push away, but her presence held him fast, like he was being wrapped in a cocoon of cold, of something far too intense for comfort.

“…Y-you know, Emilia-tan,” he stammered, unable to shake the odd sensation creeping up his spine. “You’re acting kinda weird.”

Emilia tilted her head, her violet eyes sparkling in the dim light. “Am I?” she murmured, her voice laced with something predatory.

“Yes!” Subaru blurted out, his throat tightening. “This is... this is way too much. It’s like maximum Emilia affection! I haven’t even said anything dumb yet!”

She giggled again, the sound so soft, so pleased, but it only made Subaru’s unease deepen.

“I just missed you, Subaru,” Emilia whispered, her words carrying an intimacy that made his skin crawl. “Isn’t it okay to show it?”

Subaru didn’t know how to answer. Was it okay? Was this what he’d always wanted? To be close to her? Yet… why did it feel like he was losing something important? Like he was being pulled into a place where nothing would ever feel right again?

Before he could make sense of his thoughts, Emilia’s voice broke through. “I love you.”

Emilia was happy. She finally got Subaru back.

Nothing to complain about at all.

Chapter Text

Subaru woke up again, this time in Emilia’s arms. The warmth of her embrace was comforting, yet something about it felt suffocating, like the embrace of a blanket too tight to breathe under. He shifted slightly, the soft rustle of fabric against skin breaking the silence. His fingers brushed against something unfamiliar, something that didn't belong in the world he knew. Emilia was wearing a black dress, the deep shade stark against the usual purity of her white robes. Elegant, yes, but it felt off, like it belonged in a nightmare rather than reality.

Careful not to disturb her, Subaru slowly untangled himself from her grasp, the cold air of the room greeting him with a sharpness that cut through the haze of his drowsiness. The bed felt like a prison, and as he moved toward the window, the cold chill in the air seemed to follow him, wrapping around his skin.

And then he saw it.

His breath caught in his throat.

“No way…”

The sight before him was impossible, surreal, a frozen wasteland where the royal capital once stood, now transformed into an unrecognizable vision of ice. The familiar cobblestone streets, bustling with life only days ago for Subaru, were now solid sheets of frost, their contours blurred under the oppressive weight of a frozen silence. The castle grounds, once the heart of this thriving city, had been encased in thick layers of ice, the towers looming like frozen monoliths in the distance.

A chill ran down his spine, and for once, it wasn’t from the cold.

His mind reeled, and his hands clenched into fists. There was a sharp buzzing in his ears, his heartbeat hammering in his chest, louder than any rational thought.

“Emilia… what happened?” his voice barely above a whisper “The capital is frozen. We need to...”

His fingers drifted toward his chest, habit, instinct, ritual. The thought slithered in uninvited: *Return by Death.* Could he still use it? Should he? If he forced it now, threw himself into death like he had so many times before, would the world reset? Would this frozen silence rewind? Would the people in the capital come back? Would the ice melt? Would everything go back to how it was supposed to be?

But doubt gnawed at the edges of the thought. What if it didn’t work? What if he just died, for good, this time? Or worse, what if he came back to a world even colder than this one? His legs felt weak beneath him. He gripped the windowsill like it could anchor him to the moment. He wasn’t ready. Not yet. He needed answers. He needed.....

“Subaru?”

Before he could finish, Emilia stirred behind him, her soft murmur breaking the thick tension that had built in the air. Subaru turned toward her, hoping for some explanation, but the expression on her face wasn’t the one he was expecting.

She pouted, a small frown tugging at her lips, her violet eyes still half-lidded with sleep. The weight of her gaze lingered on him with a mix of warmth, and something colder, something distant.

“Subaru… why did you leave me?” she asked, her voice unbothered, like a lover upset by the simplest of things. There was no concern in her tone, no acknowledgment of the catastrophe outside.

Subaru felt a bead of cold sweat roll down his temple. His pulse quickened, his thoughts scattered like broken shards of glass. "Emilia, this isn't the time for that! The entire capital is.."

But before he could say more, Emilia's eyes met his, her gaze unblinking, unwavering.

Her lips curved into a smile, but it wasn’t the gentle, comforting smile he was used to. It was far too calm, too composed for someone in a world that had been shattered.

“Subaru, why are you so panicked?” she asked, her voice laced with something unsettling, a sweetness that carried an edge. “Everything’s fine now. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Subaru's chest tightened, a pit forming in his stomach as he shook his head, his breath coming faster. “Nothing to....” He couldn’t finish the sentence, the words choking him in his throat. “Emilia, the capital is frozen solid! Don’t you see what’s happening outside?”

Emilia blinked slowly, a soft hum escaping her lips as she lazily glanced toward the window. Her expression remained unreadable for a moment, as though she had to consciously register the frozen world outside. When her eyes met his again, they were distant, detached.

“Oh… that.”

“That?!” Subaru's heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t keep the frustration out of his voice. He gripped her shoulders, desperately trying to anchor himself in something, anything that could make sense of this madness. “Emilia, we need to call for help! We need the knights... we need Reinhard, or.......”

Her soft smile remained as she gently brushed his hands from her shoulders, unbothered by his urgency. “We don’t need anyone, Subaru,” she interrupted, her tone soft but unwavering. Her words were like a weight pressing down on his chest, smothering him in a sense of helplessness.

Subaru froze, his hands trembling as he stepped back, the cold glass of the window grazing the back of his heels. His mind raced, but the thoughts came in a jumble, unrecognizable, too fast to catch.

Before he could form a response, Emilia took his hands, her fingers cool but firm, like the clasp of chains wrapping around his wrists. He didn’t resist as her touch anchored him, but something inside him screamed to pull away.

“You’re so worried,” she murmured, her thumb stroking the back of his hand, her gaze never leaving his face. “But you don’t have to be. I told you already, didn’t I? Everything is fine.”

Her words felt like a lullaby... smooth, enticing, but somehow hollow. His body tensed in her grip, the familiar warmth of her skin now sending an icy tremor through him. Something wasn’t right, something was deeply, horribly wrong.

“Emilia… please. Tell me what happened.”

Her fingers curled tighter around his. “I saved you, Subaru,” she said, each word a soft whisper, but there was something in her voice, an undertone of reverence, a sweetness that set every hair on his body on edge. “I brought you back. And now… we can be together forever.”

The words hung in the air, heavy, like an anchor sinking deep into his chest. His breath hitched. His mind reeled. “What are you talking about?” he whispered to himself, his heart pounding as if it were trying to tear its way out of his ribcage. But before he could react, Emilia’s grip tightened, just enough to make escape impossible.

A sharp knock at the door broke the suffocating tension, and Subaru’s breath hitched again. Emilia’s expression flickered, her lips curling into a small, almost annoyed frown as she reluctantly let go of him. 

Emilia quickly went to the door before Subaru could.

“Come in,” she called, her voice sweet, yet with something that sent a shiver down his spine.

Subaru couldn't see who was at the door or what Emilia was saying from where he was standing

Subaru moved towards the door where he saw Felix, only it wasn’t the Felix he knew. The usually confident and poised knight now stood hunched, his once-proud posture slumped with exhaustion. His golden eyes, always sharp and full of life, were dull and hollow, devoid of their usual mirth or irritation.

His clothes were little more than rags, barely clinging to his trembling form. Felix’s gaze met Subaru’s for a moment before flicking away, his breath a quiet exhale. Then, after taking a glance at Subaru in knight uniform he spoke, his voice a whisper.

“…So the sacrament does work.”

Subaru’s chest tightened, his pulse racing. His throat felt dry, like he couldn’t speak, but the questions came anyway.

“What? What do you mean the sacrament worked? Felix..... what the hell is going on?” His voice cracked on the last words, the tension in his body finally snapping.

Felix flinched, his ears flattening against his head, as if Subaru’s outburst had physically struck him. He opened his mouth but said nothing.

“That’s enough.”

Emilia’s voice was light, but there was no warmth in it, only a chilling edge, sharp and commanding.

Felix’s body stiffened at her command, his form locking up like a puppet on strings. Subaru’s stomach churned at the sight. Felix, the strong, unshakable knight, was terrified of her.

“What do you want?” Emilia asked, her voice now a velvet-soft threat.

Felix’s hands trembled as he whispered, “I did what you asked. Now… please. Lady Crusch......”

Emilia’s smile didn’t falter. Her eyes remained steady, cold, and unblinking. “Take her to the Witch Cult’s city,” she said smoothly. “I’ll inform Capella to undo her condition.”

The words hit Subaru like a slap to the face. Witch Cult. Capella. His mind scrambled, piecing together what little sense it could make of this nightmare. Why was Emilia so calm about the Witch Cult? How did she know Capella?

Felix hesitated at the door, his golden eyes meeting Subaru’s for a brief moment, just a second, but it felt like a thousand years. Sorrow, pity… and something else, something far darker, lingered in Felix’s gaze. Then, without another word, he was gone, leaving Subaru alone with Emilia.

A suffocating silence followed.

Subaru's heart hammered in his chest as he slowly backed away. His breath came in shallow gasps, his mind a maelstrom of questions, fears, and an overwhelming sense of dread.

“…Witch Cult’s city,” he repeated, his voice shaky. “How do you know Capella?”

Emilia tilted her head slightly, her smile sweet but unnerving. “Subaru,” she said softly, taking a step closer to him. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Her fingers traced the lines of his wrist, the touch cold, sending a shiver straight down his spine. Subaru felt trapped in her gaze as her violet eyes, once so warm, now seemed to swallow him whole. He couldn’t look away, couldn’t tear himself from the suffocating weight of her presence.

Every instinct in Subaru told him to back up, told him to run, told him that what she just said wasn't true. No. Every instinct told him he should use rbd

Then....

The air shifted.

Subaru looked towards Emilia who after talking to whoever that was at the door came back to where Subaru was standing this whole time and held his hand

“Uhhh…. Emilia-tan who was at the door and what did they say?”

Emilia just smiled. “thats not important now Subaru” she says while smiling

Putting that person to the side he needed to find the others “Where is everyone?” he demanded, his voice rough with urgency as he scanned the room, desperate for some sign, some answer. “Beatrice, Roswaal, Otto, Garfiel, Frederica, Rem?”

The mention of Rem made Emilia flinch, a subtle yet telling reaction. Subaru’s stomach lurched at the sight, but there was no time to analyze it now. He had to find them. He had to know they were safe. Judging by how Emilia wasn’t giving answers, Subaru took action

“Emilia, stay here. I have to go.” His words were quick, almost breathless. He was already turning to leave, but before he could take a step, he felt her hand clamp firmly around his wrist.

Subaru froze.

When he turned back, his heart stopped.

He really looked at her for the first time since waking up, really saw her.

Her eyes, those eyes, were unrecognizable. The familiar warmth and uncertainty he had known for so long had vanished. Instead, there was something… hollow. The amethyst depths that once shone with compassion now held only emptiness, a deep, disturbing void that swallowed everything in its wake. Her gaze was too still, too heavy , as though her eyes had become the reflection of some dark, alien force. It was the kind of stare that seemed to pierce through him, as if she saw not just him, but everything around him, and everything he wasn’t. It was as if she were no longer truly present, as though something in her had fractured completely.

Her grip on his wrist tightened, fingers cold, but impossibly gentle. She wasn’t letting him go. Her smile, soft and serene, only deepened the unease clawing at his chest. It was an unsettling, patient kind of smile, a smile that wasn’t meant for him, but for something far beyond him.

“Subaru…” Her voice was soft, but it carried a weight that pressed against him like a physical force. “Why do you want to leave me so badly?”

His throat tightened, his pulse pounding in his ears. He wanted to fight back, to demand answers. To question her, to run, to break free of this suffocating madness. But the words tangled in his chest. “It’s not like that,” he stammered, his resolve faltering beneath her gaze. “I just....” His voice trailed off, his throat dry as the weight of her stare bore down on him.

Emilia didn’t let go of his wrist. In fact, her grip tightened, her fingers delicate yet unyielding, as though she was holding onto something precious, something that refused to slip away.

The longer he met her gaze, the harder it became to look away, as though the very act of turning from her would cause him to unravel. Her eyes, those dead, staring amethysts, felt like they were pulling him into an abyss, each second spent under her gaze weakening his resolve.

Her smile was the same as it had always been. But now, it didn’t reach her eyes. “You don’t have to worry anymore, Subaru,” she said, her voice a caress, but a cold one, distant, too calm. “Just stay with me. Please.”

The words settled into his bones like ice, a slow cold despair wrapping around his heart. He opened his mouth, but the words stuck. Stay with her? Was that really what she thought this was? What she needed?

Her voice was too soft. Too gentle. And yet there was no warmth behind it, just a cold, quiet authority, as though the rest of the world had ceased to exist. As though there was nothing else but the two of them now. 

And in that moment, Subaru realized….

 just how terrifying that thought was .

Chapter Text

Why won’t she let me go" Subaru wondered, his mind spinning with fragments of thoughts that barely fit together. He couldn't shake the sense of something wrong , something twisting beneath the surface of everything. His eyes drifted to the window, where the frozen capital lay, eerily still beneath a sheet of ice. What had happened while he was asleep? Why was the city trapped in such a cold, lifeless state? And why was Emilia acting like this? Her smile, her voice, something wasn’t right.

He had to get out of this room. To understand, to see for himself. There had to be something, anything, that could help him make sense of all this. His stomach gave a soft, almost dismissive growl, it was strangely empty for some reason. But that was secondary, a small itch in the back of his mind compared to the larger, more pressing need to move. To get away from her, to explore, to do something other than sit here under her watchful gaze.

"Uhhh, Emilia," Subaru began, trying to push down the unease that clung to his words, "I’ll stay with you, but how about we go get something to eat?" The words felt hollow, but he needed something, some excuse, some distraction. He couldn’t stay here any longer. His legs itched to move, to stretch, to put distance between him and her, even if just for a few minutes.

Emilia smiled, as easily as breathing. "Yes," she said with a lightness that almost didn’t fit the heavy air around them. "You’re probably hungry after being gone for so long. Let’s get you food."

Subaru blinked, the words making him pause for a moment. "Gone for long?" he repeated, a strange unease crawling up his spine. "Emilia, how long have I been gone for? Don’t tell me…" He trailed off, the rest of the sentence dying in his throat as something, something, clicked into place. "Emilia, when was the last time you saw me…. awake?"

The moment the words left his mouth, he felt a sharp shift in the air. Her smile faltered, just for a second, before it was quickly replaced by a frown. It was almost imperceptible, but Subaru caught it. His heart skipped a beat.

"Looks like I slipped up so fast," she murmured, her voice soft but carrying a strange weight. "I’m sorry, Subaru. But both her and the Gospel say I shouldn’t let you know."

The words didn’t make sense. The Gospel? Why would Emilia have a Gospel? But before Subaru could voice the questions racing in his head, his throat tightened as if the words were being swallowed by something unseen. "No..." he whispered, his stomach churning with a deep sense of foreboding. "Emilia, you can’t b..."

But whatever he was about to say evaporated in the heavy silence.

She had stopped moving, her gaze shifting down to the floor. For a moment, Subaru thought she might cry. But then the moment passed, and she looked back up at him, her face wearing a fragile, forced smile.

"So… um, Emilia," Subaru began hesitantly, his instincts screaming that something was off , "Why do you look so sad all of a sudden? Can we not get food, or is it something wrong? If it’s a problem, I can wait a bit." His voice trailed, trying to make sense of her sudden shift in demeanor. Just a few seconds ago he asked if they could get something to eat and she suddenly just frowned. Why did she not answer this, why did she frown.  It felt like he was walking through a fog, everything around him turning uncertain and distorted.

Emilia’s eyes met his, her gaze steady but oddly distant. The smile on her lips was still there, but it didn’t reach her eyes. It was a careful, controlled gesture. "No, it’s fine, Subaru," she said, her voice so soft it almost sounded like she was trying to convince herself. "Let’s get you food."

There was something in the way she spoke, something too gentle, too calculated. Something about that smile, it didn't fit. It didn’t feel real.

But she was still holding his gaze, her eyes unwavering. Subaru stood frozen for a moment, his thoughts racing. The unease in his chest deepened, but he couldn’t quite place why. The smile didn’t change, but it was like the air around him had shifted, like something hidden beneath the surface was just out of reach.

He nodded slowly, trying to mask the tension in his own body. "Okay," he said quietly, almost to himself. "Food, then."

Subaru’s footsteps echoed off the frozen stone floor as he followed Emilia through the chilling, empty halls of the castle. Each step seemed to grow heavier, the oppressive silence pressing down on him like a weight. He couldn’t help but glance around, the ruins of what was once a lively capital now reduced to a barren wasteland of frost.

Emilia led the way, her short hair, so much like Rem’s, fluttering ever so slightly in the frozen air, her black dress trailing behind her like the shadow of something far darker. She was so close, yet so unreachable, and it unsettled him even more than the cold.

“Emilia…” Subaru began, his voice tentative. He was trying to keep his tone neutral, to keep things from spiraling, but his thoughts were racing. What happened here? Why was everything like this? Why wasn’t she answering him directly?

Her head tilted just slightly, but she didn’t look back at him, she didn’t need to. Subaru could feel her gaze on him, like a presence pressing against him from all sides. “Hmm?” she finally responded, her voice soft, but there was a strange, almost too sweet quality to it.

“Why is everything so... wrong ?” Subaru asked, his hands instinctively clenching at his sides. “The capital, the people... they’re all gone. Everything’s frozen. What happened here, Emilia?”

Emilia didn’t answer right away. Instead, she turned to face him with that same soft smile, soft, but sharp. He couldn’t quite place it, but it made his skin crawl. She only offered him a glance before her eyes flicked away, to the endless halls around them.

“The capital?” she repeated, as though she didn’t quite understand the question. “It’s just... the way things are. Things change, Subaru. That’s all.”

The vague, almost dismissive tone of her words sent a chill down his spine. It wasn’t like her to sound so detached, so uninterested. His mouth went dry, but he forced himself to keep his cool. He had to get something out of her, had to understand what was going on.

“Things change?” Subaru repeated. “Emilia, you have to be more specific than that. What happened? Where’s everyone else? What about........”

She stopped walking and slowly turned toward him, the smile never fading, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She looked down, as if deep in thought for a moment before her gaze snapped back to him, sharp and calculating.

"You ask a lot of questions, Subaru," she said softly, her voice almost too gentle. "Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything."

He blinked, a shiver running through him at the veiled promise in her words. Something about her tone felt wrong . There was something in the way she spoke, as if everything was already set, as if she’d planned it all. And Subaru couldn’t shake the feeling that her answers weren’t the ones he needed, she was hiding something.

His heart raced as he tried to push forward, trying to catch her off guard, but Emilia was always one step ahead. As he opened his mouth again, her lips curled into a faint smile, her voice slipping through like honey-coated ice. “You’ll feel better after you eat. You’re hungry, aren’t you? We're almost to the kitchen and then you can eat. Don’t worry about anything else.”

Subaru blinked, the sudden shift in her demeanor throwing him off. His stomach twisted at the mention of food, a gnawing emptiness reminding him just how long it had been since he last ate. But something about her response felt so off, it wasn’t the answer to his question. It was a dismissal.

“Food, huh?” Subaru muttered, more to himself than anyone. He couldn’t stop his eyes from narrowing as he studied her closely, trying to piece together the strange puzzle she’d become. “You’re avoiding my question. What happened to everyone?”

She didn’t respond right away, her gaze drifting once more as if the question hadn’t even touched her. Then, as though it was an afterthought, she looked back at him, her smile widening just slightly.

“I said, let’s go get food. You must be starving. I’ll make sure you’re taken care of, Subaru.” Her tone was light, but the way her eyes glinted… It wasn’t just a promise. It was a command.

Subaru’s throat tightened, and his stomach lurched again, not from hunger this time, but from the growing sense that he was being led down a path he couldn’t escape.

“Fine.,” he said, his voice quieter now, trying to focus on anything else. The silence between them was stifling. “But I still need answers, Emilia.”

She didn’t answer. She just took another step, her footfall echoing loudly in the still, frozen halls.

"Come on," she said, the words soft but firm. "Let's not keep you waiting any longer."

The cold in the kitchen clung to everything. The counters, the shelves, even the light, what little of it remained, seemed dulled by the ever-present frost. Emilia moved gracefully between cabinets and drawers, her bare arms brushing against thin layers of frost that clung to the wood like spiderwebs. The soft sound of ice cracking under her touch filled the silence.

Subaru stood near the doorway, his arms folded, not from confidence but from the chill worming under his skin and the strange feeling settling into his bones. He watched her closely, the way her silver hair bounced gently with each step, the black dress brushing her legs, the strange contrast of warmth in her tone and the emptiness in her words.

“You sure we’re gonna find anything in here?” he asked, feigning casual concern. “I mean… most of this looks like it’s been in the freezer since forever.”

Emilia didn’t respond at first. She ran her fingers over a frost-covered loaf of bread before setting it aside. Then, with a tilt of her head, she glanced at him over her shoulder.

“We’ll find something,” she said softly, her voice lilting, like she was talking to a frightened animal.
That wasn’t what he asked, but Subaru let it go, offering a crooked smile in return. “Right. I guess you always do, huh?

She gave a soft laugh, breathy, light. But it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“I’ll make something warm for you. Even if I have to thaw it myself,” she said sweetly, almost too sweetly. “You must be starving. Poor thing…”

Still trying to tread carefully, Subaru shifted his weight. “Is there… a reason everything’s like this? The ice, the silence... it's just... weird.”

This time, her hands paused. Just for a second. A flicker of hesitation.

Then, without turning to face him, Emilia said, “You’re cold, aren’t you? I’m sorry. I should’ve brought you something warmer.” She busied herself again, pulling open another drawer, finding a block of something half-frozen and unidentifiable.

“Emilia,” Subaru pressed, a bit firmer now, “I’m not just cold. I’m confused. Everything about this place feels wrong. Like, like I walked into a dream halfway through. You’re not even surprised I’m here. Or that I don’t remember what happened”

She placed the frozen item down carefully, as if afraid it might shatter. Then she turned, slowly, her violet eyes locking with his. There was a moment where her expression softened, as if something within her cracked. But the smile returned too quickly. Too deliberately.

“You always say things like that when you wake up,” she said. “But that’s okay. I’ll help you feel normal again.”

His breath caught. That wasn’t a real answer. That was the kind of thing you said when you wanted to steer someone away from a conclusion.

He didn’t know what conclusion he was headed toward, but he was certain she didn’t want him reaching it.

“And the others?” he asked, his voice quieter now. “I haven’t seen anyone else. Not even Petra or, anyone.”

Emilia’s fingers gently brushed across the edge of the counter. She didn’t meet his eyes this time.

“I’m here,” she whispered. “You don’t need anyone else.”

There was a finality to her voice, wrapped in silk, but heavy like a stone sinking in water. Subaru’s lips parted, a protest crawling up his throat, but it got lost when she turned and smiled at him again.

Subaru blinked. Just for a second. But something about the room felt... off when he asked about the others. Like something had shifted. Emilia hadn’t moved, but something about her presence felt heavier now. Like the space around her was folding inward. He shook it off.

“...Right,” he muttered, trying to smile through the unease. “Guess I’ll take whatever the head chef’s got, then.”

Her smile widened just a bit, and she stepped closer, reaching out to fix the collar of the knight uniform he is in.

“I’ll make it just the way you like it,” she whispered, as if the cold didn’t matter at all. “You don’t need to worry about anything anymore, Subaru.”

Her fingers lingered longer than they needed to. And though her touch was gentle… he couldn’t help but feel like he was being held in place.

Not comforted.

Contained.

Emilia’s presence was warm, pressing in on him, but it wasn’t the kind of warmth that felt inviting. It felt… possessive, as if she wasn’t just offering him something to eat, but claiming him, holding him within her grasp in ways he didn’t fully understand.

“Sit down,” she said suddenly, her voice soft, yet firm, as she gestured to the chair at the table. Subaru hesitated for a moment, sensing something in her tone that didn’t feel quite right. But he obeyed, sitting down as she moved around the kitchen, the sound of her footsteps soft and purposeful.

As she went about her work, Subaru found himself watching her, though he didn’t quite know why. She moved with a kind of graceful determination, her black dress flowing as she worked, the subtle shine of her short, pale hair catching the dim light. The air in the room felt still, as if even the sounds of her movements were muffled by some unseen force.

“What are you making?” Subaru asked, trying to break the silence, his voice casual. He wasn’t sure why he asked; maybe it was just something to fill the awkwardness, or maybe he was hoping for a conversation that felt… real.

She paused for a brief moment, her back turned to him as she sorted through what appeared to be frozen ingredients. "Soup," she replied simply, her tone light, almost too light. “Something warm. You must be cold and hungry so I thought it was a perfect choice”

Subaru nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah, I’m pretty hungry. It’s been… a while.” The words left his mouth without much thought, but as soon as they did, he felt a strange unease tugging at him. A while? How long had it been? Has it even been a while?

Emilia quickly made a shocked expression and gave a frightened, worried look at Subaru before then smiling and deciding to start work on the soup.

Why did she look at me like that? Was it something I said? Why did she almost look scared? What about the reason why she was covered in black. Who was the person Emilia talked to and what did she tell them? Why is the Capital frozen? Why won’t she let me leave? Where is everyone? Why is she hiding it from me? He shook off the thought, deciding not to dwell on it. Whatever was going on, he had to focus on one thing at a time.

Subaru sat stiffly at the table, watching Emilia work from across the kitchen. Her movements were quiet, focused, but strange. There was a rhythm to her cooking that didn’t feel right. She’d toss in a handful of herbs without measuring, mutter something under her breath, then add way too much of an ingredient.

He tried not to comment. Tried not to think too hard about it.

But then she threw in what looked like chopped bitterroot, way too much of it, and didn’t even stir. Just dropped it in and moved on. A few moments later, she dumped a generous heap of salt into the broth and added some dried garnish that smelled faintly burnt. Subaru flinched a little at that, his nose crinkling.

She wasn’t tasting anything. Was that normal? He couldn't remember if she ever cooked like this before, but something about it gave him a tight feeling in his chest.

Eventually, she turned off the flame and carefully ladled the soup into a bowl. With delicate steps, she walked it over and set it in front of him, the warm scent curling up into the air.

“Go ahead,” Emilia said softly, smiling at him. Her voice was sweet, too sweet, like syrup covering something rotten. “I made it just for you.”

Subaru stared at the bowl. The soup looked fine. Better than fine, even. But the smell was a little strange. Still, his stomach growled, and the warmth of it was comforting. Against his better judgment, he picked up the spoon and took a bite.

The flavor slammed into him like a mistake.

It was way too salty. The bitterroot overwhelmed everything else, sharp and sour and out of place. And the burnt herbs? They left a weird aftertaste, like ash clinging to the back of his tongue.

He forced a swallow.

“So?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “How is it?”

“Uhh...” Subaru managed, setting the spoon down slowly. “It’s... it’s alright. Just, kinda salty. And that root thing, I think it’s a bit too strong. Plus the seasoning’s a little burnt, maybe? I dunno. It’s edible, though.”

Emilia didn’t respond. She just stared at him, not in shock, not in anger, but with an almost unreadable calm. Like she was waiting.

The air shifted 

Emilia seemed to have a firm stare at Subaru almost as judging to see how he would like the soup

“Go on,” she said, her voice soft, still too sweet. “Try it.”

Subaru blinked.

He looked down, and the soup was there in front of him, he just hasn’t tried it yet... for some reason. The surface is clear and inviting. It smelled... good. Warm, balanced. His stomach grumbled again.

He lifted the spoon and took a bite.

Rich, hearty flavor spread through his chest like a warm blanket. The taste was amazing.

He blinked, surprised. Emilia’s cooking had seemed strange before, her choices almost random, grabbing ingredients she never used, reaching or preparing too much of some ingredients but stopping at the last second, waiting for some reason even though the soup was already done. But somehow, it had all come together into something that tasted... right.

Really right.

Delicious, even.

And through it all, Emilia watched him, her gaze never leaving his face. Unblinking. Quiet. As if she were waiting for something more.

Emilia leaned in slightly, her hands folded neatly in her lap, chin tilted just enough to watch his expression. Her smile hadn’t changed, still soft and serene, but it was that stillness that unsettled him more than anything.

“So?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “How is it?”

Subaru swallowed the last bit of the spoonful, the warmth still lingering in his throat. He blinked down at the bowl, then up at her. “It’s... actually really good,” he admitted, brows knitting faintly. “I mean, I can’t find anything wrong with it. The flavor’s balanced, the broth is smooth... even the herbs give it kind of a nice aftertaste.”

He gave a weak, half-laugh, scratching his cheek. “Guess I underestimated you, huh?”

Emilia’s smile widened just a little, not smug, not teasing. Just… pleased. Quietly, perfectly pleased.

“I’m glad,” she said, brushing a strand of silver hair behind her ear. “I really wanted you to enjoy it.”

There was something in her tone that made him pause, a note of satisfaction that felt deeper than just a meal gone right.

He looked back at the bowl, watching the steam rise steadily.

This was one of the better soups Subaru had had for awhile. It was not to sour, sweet, bitter, and was perfectly cooked.

Nothing to complain about at all.

Emilia then grabbed a bowl

And ate with him

Happy to be with the person she loved.

Happy as can be

Nothing to complain about at all.

Chapter Text

4 days later

It had been four days since Subaru Natsuki woke up in a place that looked like the royal capital, but wasn’t.

The sky outside the windows never changed. A pale, frozen blue, like a world stuck in time. The streets below were still, muffled under a blanket of frost. From the highest tower of the royal castle, he could see everything, and nothing . No movement. No smoke from chimneys. No lights in windows.

No people.

He hadn’t left the castle since the day he woke up. Emilia told him it was too cold. Too dangerous. Too… quiet. She said it with that soft smile of hers, the one that didn’t quite reach her eyes anymore. The one that made his stomach turn.

So he stayed inside.

The castle was warm, at least where Emilia was. Food appeared when he needed it. Blankets too. The fire was always lit.

There was nothing to complain about at all. But nothing felt right.

There were no servants. No clanging pots from the kitchens. No echo of voices in the halls. Just the ticking of a broken clock in his head, counting down to something he couldn’t see.

So Subaru thought. And thought. And thought .

He ran back every conversation. Every choice. Every battle. He tried to draw a line from the last time things made sense to now, scratching a mental timeline into his skull.

Something happened to the Emilia Camp. That much he was sure of.

It had to have happened while he was unconscious, or while he was dying. Maybe they ran.   Maybe it had to do with this frozen capital. Maybe something worse happened. Something that Emilia wouldn’t talk about, no matter how many times he asked. Subaru didn't know if return by death would even fix this.

They wouldn’t have abandoned him.

He clenched his fists hard enough for his nails to bite skin.

Garfiel would’ve fought to the end. Ram wouldn’t have left Emilia’s side. Otto, damn him, was just dumb enough to try something heroic. Even Roswaal wouldn’t disappear without leaving behind a smug riddle or two.

So where were they?

Why was it only Emilia left?

And why did she smile like that when he asked?

Subaru’s thoughts buzzed, tangled and fraying with every passing hour.

She won’t answer me. Not really. Every time I ask, she smiles. Deflects. And still won’t let me out of her sight…

The questions burned like coals behind his eyes.

Why won’t she talk about the capital? Why won’t she tell me where Beatrice is? Or Rem. Or Otto. Or anyone. Why is the city frozen? Why is it just us here...?

He exhaled, grounding the storm of thoughts.

I can’t keep sitting here. If she won’t give me answers, then I have to find them myself.

Subaru turned his head, watching Emilia as she smoothed out the hem of her dress by the window, the frost-glazed panes letting in a soft, white light. She looked so peaceful, like a painting, but there was something in the stillness that made his throat tighten.

I’ll have to be careful.

He stood slowly, forcing a smile onto his face.

“Hey, Emilia-tan,” he said, tacking on the nickname with light-hearted emphasis, the same way he always did when he wanted to make her flustered.

She turned toward him, violet eyes softening immediately. “Yes, Subaru?”

“I’ve been feeling a little stir-crazy just hanging around the castle for so long,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “What do you say we explore the city a bit? Just stretch our legs, you know?”

Her smile faltered, just a fraction. Barely perceptible, but enough to notice if you were looking.

“The city…” she echoed. Her tone held hesitation, quiet and reluctant. “Subaru, it’s not safe out there. The cold is harsh, and…………. It’s better if you stay here, with me.” Emilia had a long pause before finishing that last part, almost as if she removed what she was about to say.

Something about the way she did that made his skin crawl.

He forced a chuckle, stepping closer. “C’mon, I’ll have you by my side, right? If anything happens, you’ll protect me like always. You’re strong. And honestly, I feel a lot better when you’re around.”

Her eyes widened slightly, and that strange tension in her shoulders eased. Slowly, Emilia nodded, her fingers brushing together in thought. “If I’m with you… then maybe just a little walk wouldn’t hurt.”

She smiled again, brighter now. But the warmth behind it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Only if you promise to hold my hand the whole time,” she added sweetly, lacing her fingers through his before he could respond.

Her skin was cold. Too cold.

And her grip, even gentle as it was, didn’t feel like it would let go.


The castle doors groaned open with a reluctant push, and the cold met them like a breath held too long. Subaru stepped out first, the crunch of frost beneath his boots echoing across the still air. Emilia followed close behind, the hem of her cloak trailing lightly over the ice that glazed the stone steps. The world outside was unnervingly silent, no voices, no wind, not even the call of birds overhead.

The capital was dead.

Or at least, it looked like it.

Snow covered the cobbled streets in a pristine, untouched layer. Not a single footprint, not even the drag marks of carts or animals. The homes were sealed shut, their windows clouded with frost. Even the flags atop buildings hung stiff and unmoving, frozen in place.

“It’s… quiet,” Subaru muttered, mostly to himself. “Too quiet.”

They walked through what had once been bustling streets, now transformed into frozen sculptures of a life that had simply stopped. The silence was thick, pressing in on them like a blanket weighed with frost. Subaru glanced at Emilia, her steps steady, her expression unreadable.

“This looks like something Puck would do,” he said, squinting up at the pale sky. “Speaking of which, we still need to get a mana crysta….”

He didn’t get to finish.

At the mention of the spirit’s name, Emilia flinched. Her eyes widened, and she stopped walking mid-step. A sharp breath caught in her throat, and her gloved hand clutched at her chest. It was brief, only a second, but Subaru saw it.

He blinked. “Emilia?”

“I’m fine,” she said too quickly, voice tight. She offered a faint smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Let’s keep moving.”

Subaru didn’t press. But he didn’t forget either.

They passed a guard post next, a stone booth lined with enchanted lamps that no longer glowed. The once-busy checkpoint was buried beneath a drift of snow. A half-frozen spear lay against the wall, untouched by any guards. The metal was crusted with ice.

Emilia’s pace slowed. “We shouldn’t stay out too long,” she murmured. “It’s cold.”

Subaru gave a nonchalant shrug. “I’ve been colder.”

She didn’t laugh. Just looked at him.

“There’s two places I want to check before we go back,” Subaru said quickly, before she could insist.

Emilia hesitated again, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. But he stepped ahead before she could object, motioning her along with a half-smile. “Don’t worry. You’ll be by my side the whole time, right?”

She nodded after a beat, her fingers curling tighter around his sleeve.

They turned a corner and made their way down a familiar side street, the ice crunching beneath their boots. At the end of the lane was the place, the alley where it all began. Subaru stopped and looked down at it. The same cracked stone, the same narrow path.

“This is where I first met you,” he said, forcing a lightness into his voice. “Right here. What a day that was.”

Emilia tilted her head, her expression distant.

Subaru chuckled, stepping into the space, turning slowly in a half-circle. “You were chasing that thief, and I was just some random guy with no idea what was going on. I remember thinking you looked like some kind of ice fairy or something.”

There was no reply. Subaru kept talking anyway.

“I figured if I retraced my steps, maybe…” He didn’t finish the thought. He didn’t need to. His eyes scanned the windows, the rooftops, every doorway. Still no one.

Not a soul.

“Okay, one more stop,” he said, glancing at her before quickly leading the way.

It didn’t take long to find it. The stand was still there, buried halfway in snow, the wooden awning sagging under frost. The bright paint had dulled and cracked, but the sign was still legible: “Appa.”

Subaru stepped up to it, brushing the snow away with his glove. “Man… haven’t been here since after we took down the Great Rabbit. I can still smell the appas sometimes.”

He smiled faintly, but it didn’t last. The stall was empty. No sign of Kadomon. No baskets. No warmth.

Just silence.

“Hey, Emilia-tan, mind if we grab some appas? I owe this guy a lo....”

Subaru’s words trailed off as he turned to face her.

She wasn’t smiling.

Her eyes were wide, her lips slightly parted, and all the color had drained from her face. For the first time since they’d left the castle, Emilia looked genuinely horrified.

“Emilia?” Subaru blinked, taking a step closer. “You okay? What’s wrong?”

It was the most emotion she’d shown since they stepped foot into this frozen capital. He didn’t understand, what had triggered it?

Her voice came out sharp. Frantic. “Subaru... who told you about what happened to the Great Rabbit?”

The sweetness she’d always wrapped her tone in had slipped. She sounded… scared. Desperate. Like there was a countdown ticking behind her eyes.

Subaru froze, confused. “Huh? What do you mean? We took it down, remember? You, me, and Beako. We fought it together back at Roswaal’s....”

He cut himself off as an idea struck him. She was panicking. That meant she didn’t know something. Maybe, just maybe, he could use that to his advantage.

“If you don’t remember, that’s fine. We can ask Beako. I’m sure she’d...”

Before he could finish, Emilia reached into her dress and pulled something out.

A book.

No.

A Gospel.

Subaru’s blood ran cold.

His body stiffened as his eyes locked onto the familiar cover. The dark leather. The pages lined with a cruel fate. That cursed weight that seemed to radiate from it, even without being opened.

“Emilia…” he said slowly, the panic rising in his throat. “Why do you have that?”

He didn’t shout. Not yet. But the panic was real, far deeper than hers had been.

Emilia’s eyes didn’t meet his. She simply flipped open the Gospel and began turning its pages, each one whispering as it passed beneath her fingers. Subaru’s voice caught in his throat. He couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move. Could only watch.

When she finally reached the last page, her expression settled. The panic had dulled, replaced by something cold. Something measured.

“Subaru,” she said, looking up at him. Her voice was calm now, too calm. “What did you last see of the rabbits?”

It wasn’t a question. It was a command.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His mind was spinning. “Not until you tell me, why the hell do you have a Gospel?!”

He took a step back, nearly tripping on the frozen cobblestone beneath him. “Are you with the Witch Cult now?! Is this some kind of sick joke?!”

He decided he needed to do it..... He was going to return by death and hopefully figure out what happened to Emilia

Emilia didn’t flinch. She didn’t defend herself. Instead, with quiet efficiency, she tucked the Gospel back into her dress as though it was just another accessory.

Then, something changed.

The air shimmered. The light around them dimmed, though the sun hadn’t moved. And Subaru...

Subaru blinked.

“Subaru,” Emilia said gently, her tone soft again, sweet and full of that strange warmth she always gave him when she wanted him to trust her. “What did you last see of the rabbits?”

He rubbed his forehead, a fog settling behind his eyes. Something didn’t feel right. Something was missing.

But all he could do was answer.

Subaru hadn’t answered the first time. Her question had hung in the air, weighty and strange, but he’d sidestepped it. And yet, she asked again.

Why did she want to know so badly?

“Uhh…” Subaru rubbed the back of his neck, forcing a nervous laugh. He wasn’t ready to confront her directly, not yet. He needed more. Answers. A chance to see Beatrice. “Don’t you remember?” he said lightly. “You were there, with me and my Beako. We lured them in together, remember? Trapped them with the spell you cast. It was perfect teamwork.”

At that, Emilia's tense expression softened. Her shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, and her wide, unreadable gaze flickered, just for a moment.

Then,

The air shifted.

It was subtle. But Subaru felt it. Like walking into a room that had just been emptied of people. Like a candle had been snuffed, but the smoke hadn’t cleared.

And now it was gone.

Emilia smiled at him, gently, as if nothing at all had happened.

“Subaru,” she said, her voice bright, clear, soft like falling snow. “Yes, we can buy some appas.”

“Huh?” Subaru blinked. The words hit him sideways. Why did she take so long to respond?

He shook his head. Maybe he was tired.

Still, something was off.

“Emilia-tan, you looked a little… distressed just now.” He gave her a lopsided grin, hoping to make it seem casual, teasing. But her figure, he noticed now, seemed a little more shuffled than before. Her short hair slightly out of place. Her breath unsteady.

Had she been running? No. That didn’t make sense.

But Emilia only smiled. “I was just thinking about the time we fought the rabbits together, Subaru.”

Her tone was calm. Too calm. Almost like it had been practiced.

But still, it was something . A scrap of normalcy in this strange, frozen world. The first solid lead Subaru got in 4 days.

“Yes!” Subaru lit up a bit, latching onto the thread. “Exactly! You, me, and my amazing Beako, back when things made sense.” He tried to sound upbeat, to keep the momentum going. “Speaking of which… Why don’t we talk to her about the battle again? Maybe she can tell us more about what’s going on here in the Capital.”

That was the real goal. A lead. A way out. Someone who could actually tell him the truth.

Emilia’s smile didn’t waver. “Maybe on a later date,” she said sweetly.

Subaru pouted, dramatically, exaggerating the gesture. “Aww, fine…” he muttered. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” Subaru was just happy he was able to go somewhere different with Emilia after 4 days.

They turned back toward the castle, their footsteps echoing faintly across the frost-covered stones.

“I love you” Emilia says quietly while looking at his back

“Love me” she says even more soft this time

The city remained still. Empty. No signs of life. No sound but the crunch of snow underfoot.

As they walked, Emilia’s eyes softened. She tilted her head just slightly, her silver hair swaying in the cold wind, and for the first time since the Gospel’s pages had turned, she felt relief.

Just as her Gospel had promised… Subaru was just wrong.

Of course he was acting strange. He had only just woken up. He was adjusting.

He didn’t remember the truth.

The truth that he hadn’t fought the Great Rabbit.

The truth that he hadn’t even been awake.

Because Emilia had been the one to kill it.

She had walked into the night and slaughtered the thousand-fanged swarm with her bare hands, soaked in blood and fury. She had done what he could not. How could he? Subaru was already asleep.

She knows that Subaru wasn’t awake so he couldn't have done it

She also knew that the spirit was already dead at that time so they couldn’t have done it.

What was she even worried about?

Her Gospel is right, Subaru is just confused.

So what had she been afraid of?

Everything was going just as it should.

Just like her Gospel said it would.

Just how that person said it would

Just as her authority allowed it

Just as how he would want it

Just as she wants  

Nothing to complain about at all.

Chapter Text

Emilia had said something behind him,soft, almost swallowed by the quiet snow. Subaru didn’t catch all of it, but her voice reached him like a lifeline tossed into a frozen sea.

“Maybe on a later date,”

It was such a small thing. Simple, even. It wasn’t a yes or no or even clear, but to Subaru, it hit like a spark in the dark.

Four days. Four long, silent, dragging days. Every hour he'd spent in that pristine castle had bled together, minutes dripping like melting ice. He’d talked, and she’d smiled. He’d asked, and she’d changed the subject. The only thing that hadn’t changed was the suffocating silence. He couldn’t get any leads or make progress with checking on the others because of Emilia.

But now, Beatrice .

That name alone was enough to stir something in his chest. The memory of her voice, her pouty complaints, the way she’d never quite say she cared,but always did.

"Beako…"

He whispered her name without thinking, barely loud enough for his own ears.

Was she safe? Was she in the city too, hiding in some frozen wing of the castle? Or had Emilia kept him from seeing her for some reason she wouldn’t explain?

Subaru wanted to believe the former. He needed to. Because the alternative,the idea that Emilia was all that was left and she would keep him to herself only,was far too heavy to carry.

The pair walked side by side through the frostbitten streets of what was once the bustling royal capital of Lugunica.

The city had been frozen in more ways than one. Not just by the snow, but by time itself. Buildings stood untouched, their windows glazed over with frost. Market stalls still had cloth coverings fluttering weakly in the wind, though no hands ever reached to lift them. Fruit carts sat abandoned, their wares long since turned to ice and ruin. The air was heavy, not just cold, still . Not the kind of still that came after a storm, but the kind that settled over a grave.

No laughter. No shouting. No footsteps echoing off the stone.

Just the steady crunch of Subaru’s boots and the softer steps of the girl beside him.

He tried not to think too hard about it. Tried to let the promise of seeing Beatrice fill his head. But the questions pressed in.

Why hadn’t he seen anyone ?

Four days, and not a single person besides Emilia. Not Ram, not Otto, not even a passing servant.

Just Emilia.

And that other person he never met.

Subaru couldn’t remember exactly when,was it the first day? The second? Time had become a blur because of this unnatural environment. But one thing stuck out.

Someone had knocked on the door.

Someone had come to speak with Emilia.

But Subaru never went to see who it was.

Why didn’t he look?

It gnawed at him, that thought. The door had knocked, and he hadn’t moved. He hadn’t even tried to eavesdrop or sneak a peek. He just sat there, staring at the empty room, his body frozen in place. Why? He didn’t have an answer. His mind drifted over it, unable to grasp why he had dismissed it so easily.

He should have known better.

Was he that trusting of Emilia?

It felt strange to even ask. After all, it wasn’t like she was a stranger. He knew her. He’d seen her vulnerability, her pain, but this was different. This Emilia... the one who kept him at arm's length, but still close enough to embrace him when she had the chance, was something else. It felt like the real Emilia was slipping away, replaced by someone who held secrets beneath that soft smile.

Was he scared?

No. Fear was too strong a word. But he couldn’t shake the unease. What if he had missed something by just sitting there? Something important ?

No, it couldn’t be. She wouldn’t keep things from him, would she?

But then, a cold knot tightened in his stomach. No , she had been keeping things from him,he knew it. He could feel it now, like a weight pressing against his chest. The pieces didn’t fit, the way she’d skirted around his questions, the way she’d kept him in the dark. He just hadn’t figured out why yet.

What was she hiding? What was she keeping from him, and why hadn’t he been able to see it?

The more he thought about it, the more he realized just how much he didn’t know. And the more it unsettled him.

But then why hadn’t he gotten up?

His stomach twisted, but he tried to push it down. Was he that comfortable, that complacent, just letting things happen around him? He could’ve stood up. He should’ve. The door had knocked. He’d heard the sound. But no,he stayed there, frozen. Not even a shred of curiosity had pushed him to act.

Maybe it was that same feeling,always in her presence, never truly questioning, never truly wanting to.

But it wasn’t like him to just ignore something. It wasn’t like him to sit idly by.

What had stopped him?

His eyes shifted to the cold, desolate city beyond the window, the empty streets where no one walked. The castle felt like a tomb, a prison. Was he too trusting? Too willing to just follow her lead without questioning it? Maybe that was it. Or maybe she had just made sure he wouldn’t.

What was hidden from him?

The more he thought about it, the more questions piled up, unanswered. And with every question, the unsettling feeling inside him only grew stronger.

His stomach twisted, guilt and fear and frustration all coiling up into one tight knot. He didn’t want to doubt her. Didn’t want to believe that the girl who saved him was also the one keeping things from him. But the silence… the stillness… the absence of everyone he cared about,it all built into something he couldn’t ignore anymore.

The closer they got to the castle, the more his unease grew.

The royal castle loomed ahead, towers like frozen spears piercing the sky. Its walls shimmered with a thin layer of frost, glistening like diamonds under the pale sunlight. But there was no warmth in its beauty. It looked like a tomb. Regal, untouched… and utterly lifeless.

And then, just as they reached the final bend in the road, Subaru saw it.

His breath hitched in his throat.

The castle gates,tall, iron-bound, and ancient,were scarred . Four massive claw marks raked across the front, gouging deep into the metal like it was paper. The gates had held strong for generations. They were meant to keep armies out.

Whatever did that wasn’t human.

Each mark was uneven. Wild. Frenzied. As if whatever made them hadn’t just been trying to get in , but had been desperate ,or furious . And the marks didn’t just run downward. One of them curled up , like something had climbed the gate and left a trail behind.

Subaru froze.

For the first time since they left the appa stand, he felt the cold seep all the way to his bones.

“Claw marks…?” he whispered. “What the hell…?”

Too loud, even when barely spoken. The wind passed by, and the silence returned. He turned to glance at Emilia beside him.

She had halted as well, a few steps behind, her expression impassive.

Subaru's eyes returned to the scars on the gate.

Whatever these claw marks were, they were not present when they departed.

Subaru's eyes fell on the jagged seams that marred the formerly streamlined gate, their deep slashes scoring the frozen wood like sores in the skin of the castle. The marks were huge, sweeping across stonework and metal, as if something or someone had been desperately trying to burst out or ram their way in. He couldn't say which, but the implication either way was enough to make his gut twist.

It was the first sign, any sign, that someone or something else had been here. And it didn’t feel like salvation. It felt like a warning.

"Uhh, Emilia, what could have caused this?" he asked, the words falling out before he could stop them.

It wasn’t like he expected an answer. Not really.

Her expression did not alter, although her eyes flashed for a moment at him before she presented her usual gentle, but on this occasion slightly strained, smile. "It might have been by some land dragons that left the castle," she replied in as calm and still a voice as ever, as if the words had no special meaning to them. She was soft in speech, almost kind, yet had an underlying too sharply, too carefully trimmed.

Subaru blinked. Was he actually expecting a straightforward response from her? What was he thinking? Emilia had never given him the answers he wanted, and if she did, they always came in the form of half-truths, cleverly spun to say nothing important. So why had he asked?

"Why do you think the land dragons left the castle in such condition?"

He couldn't help but let the words slip from his mouth. Why, however, was he even asking? He wasn't going to get an honest response. He knew that.

Emilia's smile widened and her eyes drifted back down the snow-covered path before them ignoring the question entirely.

Subaru scowled, something tugging at his chest. What was he doing, anyway? He knew better than to expect answers from her. And yet, with each new day in this quiet, snowy capital, it was the only thing he could hold on to,asking questions, hoping something would break through the silence, make sense out of all the pieces he couldn't put together.

But nothing changed.

They continued on past the claw-scarred gates, the heavy thud of their steps swallowed up by the empty streets. It was cold enough to feel like it bit at his skin even in this knight's attire. The city towered over them, still and un-natural. The snow buried everything,roofs, windows, streets,smothering it all under a seemingly limitless, choking white. There were no cries of life to be heard here, no shouts in anguish, no signs of warmth. Nothing but the dead cold silence of a capital abandoned, festering in its cold sepulcher.

The buildings loomed above them, their shapes twisted and warped by the persistent snow. What had once been tall, proud buildings now seemed like empty shells, their windows dark and hollow, their walls cracked and peeling. Subaru couldn't help but feel like the city itself was waiting for them,still, dead, but always there, a quiet witness to whatever was going on around him.

He glared at Emilia, who walked by his side. She seemed not to be touched by the death that enveloped them. Her steps were even, her footing light, her gaze unyielding. It was as if she did not even notice the unnatural quiet that enveloped them, as if all was precisely as it should be, as if each step she took was a conscious and deliberate decision of hers.

The castle loomed above them, its towers reaching up like shattered teeth into the leaden sky. The haughty edifice stood now as little more than a shell, its walls split and battered by the unforgiving course of time and ice. The great iron gates creaked on their hinges as they went through, each groan sounding in the silence. The path forward seemed endless, bending away into the horizon like a road to nowhere, twisting across the white grounds that surrounded the castle.

The streets around them stretched on and on, the snow beneath their feet hard and glassy, reflecting the pale light like shards of glass. The capital, which had once thronged with life, was now a sterile necropolis of ice and stone. Every building they passed by was a mausoleum,empty, hollow, abandoned. The ice city towered above in suffocating silence, strangling, as if the cold had consumed every vestige of warmth or potential.

The sky above was a dull, flat gray, its dense clouds obscuring any hint of the sun, with nothing but a smothering blackness to blanket the world. Even the wind was spent, barely stirring the snow as it clung in fat clumps to the streets. The capital was lifeless. It was a city lost to time, left to be ravaged by the cold that enveloped every corner, every edifice, every surface.

The chill in the air was sharp enough to bite deep into Subaru's bones, colder than he had ever felt. Every step was met by the biting chill, seeping into his skin, even beneath the heavy knight's armor Emilia had loaned him.

The sight of those uniforms popped unbidden into his mind,smoothly folded, set out for him with a gentle, wide smile.

"I knew you always wanted to be my knight," Emilia had said, smiling widely, a light, airy voice with the slightest edge of affection.

Then, her bright smile and warm eyes had been a comforting gesture, attempting to at least provide him with some sort of heat in this bleak world that they existed in. Now, however, that same memory felt hollow, distant. He had accepted the uniforms unquestioningly, believing it was simply one of her little acts of kindness, done to make him feel more welcome in this environment that did not feel warm in the least. But with time, the suspicion that had found its way into his mind was harder and harder to dispel.

Why did she push so hard?

Each instance, she wore some new uniform, as if shed of something,something he could never quite understand, and something now that he could not quite find himself facing. 

The texture of the uniforms, the weight of the smiles, became heavier, as if anchor chains dragging him further into this warped reality where solutions always eluded him.

As Subaru looked at the castle these days, its dark silhouette against the frozen desolation, he couldn't help but be curious if the cold had seeped through everything. Was it Emilia, too? Was she another cold, dead thing of this city as well? Or was something else which had changed her?

The castle loomed closer now, the gates creaking open ahead of them with a mournful, low groan. Subaru had no notion what awaited him within, but the chill of the world around him closed in tighter than ever, the silence ringing in his ears like a distant warning.

And with every step, the gnawing feeling that he had left behind something essential,something essential,grew.

Subaru and Emilia entered the castle, the heavy wooden doors creaking shut behind them with a hollow echo. The air inside was colder than ever, the stone walls absorbing and amplifying the chill that seemed to seep into every corner of the vast, empty hallways. The grandeur of the castle, once proud and welcoming, now felt oppressive. The tall, vaulted ceilings stretched above them, disappearing into the shadows where the light from the torches couldn’t reach. Cobwebs clung to the edges of the ornate arches, untouched by time or the usual bustle of servants and knights.

The smell of dust hung thick in the air, mixed with the faint, musty scent of old stone and wood. The floor beneath their feet, once polished to a gleaming sheen, was now dull and worn, the dark marble flecked with the marks of neglect. The grand chandeliers, heavy with layers of grime, hung motionless from the ceiling, their flickering light casting long, jagged shadows that seemed to distort the space around them.

Subaru’s footsteps felt unnaturally loud in the stillness as he walked beside Emilia. The once lively hallways, filled with the sounds of chatter and the hum of activity, now felt like an endless corridor leading nowhere. Every door they passed was closed, as if the entire castle was locked in a deep sleep, refusing to acknowledge the outside world.

They moved in silence, the weight of the emptiness pressing down on Subaru. His gaze darted around, searching for any sign of life, any hint that things might return to how they once were. But there was nothing. Not even the flicker of a servant passing in the halls. It was as though the castle had been abandoned long ago.

Subaru couldn’t shake the feeling that he was walking through a grave, every corner holding a secret that he wasn’t meant to uncover. The more he looked, the more everything seemed... wrong. The air, thick with silence, made his skin crawl.

They continued down the narrow hallway, past grand tapestries that once depicted scenes of battle and victory, now faded and frayed at the edges. The flickering torchlight made their colors dance unnaturally, as if they too were trying to escape the desolation around them.

And then, suddenly, Emilia stopped. Her body stiffened, her eyes snapping upward to the ceiling. Subaru barely had time to register her change in demeanor before he followed her gaze. There, above them, was an ice wall. It stretched across the ceiling, thin, jagged cracks running through it like the veins of a dying beast. Subaru felt his breath catch in his throat.

"Emilia?" he asked cautiously, but she didn’t respond, her eyes fixed on the ice above them. The silence was suffocating.

The air seemed to thrum with tension as Subaru’s heart began to race. Why was she looking at it like that? Why had she created an ice barrier here? He had never seen anything like this before. Emilia had always seemed to slow, every piece of broken ice suspended in the air for a moment before crashing to the floor.

And then, from the wreckage, something massive appeared.

It was fast, a blur of motion that slammed into Subaru with terrifying force. The next thing he knew, a searing pain ripped through his body, tearing his left side apart in an instant. The world spun as he felt his arm,his entire left side,detached from his body. His scream was lost in the roar of chaos, the blood pooling beneath him as his vision blurred.

His body crumpled to the floor, pain making everything seem distant, like it was happening to someone else. But Subaru couldn’t tear his eyes away from what stood before him.

Through the haze of agony, all he could see was a massive arm, covered in orange fur, twisted and grotesque. The beast,whatever it was,was an animal of nightmares, its bloodlust thick in the air, its presence overwhelming. The arm swung like a weapon, the claws sharp enough to tear through steel. Subaru’s heart pounded in his chest as he realized he was at the mercy of something far beyond his understanding.

His gaze flickered up just in time to see the creature’s eyes, glowing with a fury that sent a chill down his spine. It wasn’t just some monster. This was something personal. Something that knew him.

His breath was ragged, his vision growing darker as he fought to stay conscious, but all he could hear was the thunderous beat of his own heart, the echo of the blood rushing in his ears.

Before he fainted he had one thought

Where will I wake up once I return by death.

Then everything went black

Chapter Text

6


She had felt it.

Before the ice cracked, before the silence ruptured like brittle glass,she had felt it.

She reached out to Subaru to protect him from the oncoming danger.

But it was too late.

The beast, with its vicious claws torn through Subaru and shredded his left side. She watched as Subaru fell to the ground.

I can fix this.

She had too. There was no other option but to fix it. She can’t let Subaru leave her again. Not after everything she gave. Not after everything she lost. Not after everything she became. She didn’t just deny it, she refused.

Emilia looked at the beast that was now lunging at her with pure hatred. She started to use her authority to make sure he neve………….

No.

Emilia shook.

No.

A tremble seized her hands. The air remained unchanged. The blood didn’t vanish. The wound didn’t heal. Subaru still lay broken behind her.

No.

She tried to deny what happened in front of her.

How can I have already failed.

In front of Emilia was a beast. A beast with an arm of orange fur, matted with blood. A beast with hair yellow as gold.. A beast that moved like a cornered animal, reckless and brutal, the floor cracking beneath its weight.  Its claws were outstretched,sharp, cracked, caked in Subaru’s blood.

A beast that was bloodlusted.

One Emilia couldn’t resort to her authority for.

A beast that was also part human.

A beast who has lost it all.

A beast who was supposed to be dead.




A beast named Garfield Tinsel.



Before Emilia could do anything the beast struck.

He used his right arm in tiger form to slash at Emilia's flank just like he did with Subaru.

Emilia couldn't let this happen.

Her mind raced as pain flared along her side. With a desperate surge of power, she raised her hand, freezing the hallway over with another coat of ice. She was careful not to hurt Subaru, each fragment of the ice she made was calculated to shield Subaru, to protect what remained of the life she so desperately needs.

The beast slowed but it wasn't enough. The beast raised his left hand which was human to try and grab Emilia. Veins bulge beneath the skin, blood spilled from times of vigorous training, fingers clawed and trembling not with hesitation, but with unrestrained fury. He wasn't just trying to wound her,he was trying to drag her down .

With a wild swing of her arm, she sent a massive ice block toward him. A block infused with enough power to kill a Guiltylawe,sharp, cold, unstoppable. It tore through the air, a living shard of frozen fury.

The beast didn’t flinch.

He didn’t even bother to dodge.

Instead, he bit it. Ripped through the ice like it was nothing more than a snack, a vicious growl slipping past his teeth. The ice shattered around him, but he barely seemed to notice.

The beast grabbed Emilia by the side with his still human hand, hoisted her up and before she could react, his other arm,the one transformed into a beast,swept toward her in a flurry of vicious slashes. Emilia’s left leg broke.

Pain erupted across her body.

Emilia had to flee and get to Subaru.

A punch hit the beast in the jaw. One he didn’t see coming.

This finally got a reaction from the beast and before he could counter attack or figured out why he never saw or perceived the attack, a huge chunk of ice landed on his arm smashing it between the floor.

Emilia didn't waste this opening and she sprinted toward Subaru, her broken leg buckling with every step, but she forced herself forward. sprinted towards Subaru’s side. She had to check for a pulse.

She grabbed Subaru’s attached arm, her fingers brushed his barely warm skin. Her heart raced, a flicker of hope igniting in her chest, she might still have tim…..

A sudden, searing pain tore through her back.

The beast had appeared behind her. His monstrous form was like a shadow, too fast to follow, too relentless, too bloodlusted, and this time with a broken arm, an arm that was healing, healing fast.

A hit.

The impact caused the ground to quake before them.

Another hit.

The ground gave in and they fell through the floor.

Emilia held Subaru in her arms as they fell to the floor below.

Emilia landed on her left arm causing it to fracture.

Her shoulder wrenched backward, snapping with a horrible crunch. Her body convulsed, white-hot pain blinding her vision. She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t move. Her entire left side screamed in agony.

Subaru lay behind her. Still quiet, blood no longer dropped because the cold weather sealed his arm up.

He’s still warm. Please stay warm.

Emilia had to do it. She had to attack. A foe like this she can’t stall forever

As the beast was starting to stand up Emilia used her ice powers to send a pillar, causing the beast to go outside into the frozen capital.

Emilia didn’t wait.

With trembling hands, she used some mana from her vast pool to craft a makeshift brace of ice around her leg,tight enough to keep her upright, loose enough to keep from shattering what little bone remained intact.

Then she summoned a second pillar.

This one rose beneath her, carrying her upward and to the side right next to the beast.

Her breath fogged the air, and every movement felt like she was being pulled apart at the seams. But she didn’t care.

Subaru was still in the castle. And if she didn’t stop Garfiel here, he’d never wake up again.

She stood on the edge of the rising pillar, hair whipping wildly in the wind, her broken body braced by sheer will alone.

The beast lugged his body off the ledge of his pillar and turned its eyes toward her. 

And Emilia stared back.

Both staring at each other from the gap in the horizontal pillars. Both intent on killing the other.

The beast didn't even hesitate. It jumped the gap intent on grabbing Emilia and bringing it down to the bottom with him where he has the advantage.

Emilia met it mid-descent.

With a flick of her hand, she summoned an enormous block of ice, timed precisely as the beast surged through the gap.

CRASH.

The ice block slammed down from above dragging him down from the outside tower of the ruined castle... all the way to the bottom.

A distant thud echoed through the hollow city like thunder against the snow.

But she knew.

This wasn’t enough.

Her trembling hand rose again.

Another block.

Her hand rose again.

Another block.

No,not a block. A mountain.

She pulled the moisture from the very air, her own blood and breath fusing into the spell. A glacier-sized slab of ice began to form above the crater Garfiel had crashed into,nearly the size of the castle itself.

She didn’t hesitate.

She dropped it.

The impact shook the ground. The sound rippled out into the white void of the city like a roar from a god.

She summoned a final pillar beneath her feet and began to descend, ice grinding and cracking beneath her as she returned to the ground level, to the crater below.

She looked where he landed.

That had to be enough.

No one can survive that.

Any person would be mulched to dust after an attack like that.

Emilia started walking away.

But then…..

The ground shook.

Not from force.

But it trembled.

Emilia looked down just to be met with a pillar of stone hitting her face.

Emilia fell back and tried to create an ice shield but it was too late.

Crashing through the ice was a beast.

This time it had no human parts about it.

This time it was fully a tiger .

A tiger filled with hatred.

A tiger who was abandoned.

A tiger who was similar to her.

A Forsaken Tiger.

The Forsaken Tiger lunged at Emilia and slammed her into the ground.

It slammed her down into the ground.

Emilia’s fractured arm shattered like glass and was flattened like a pancake.

Then, he moved to her neck.

Emilia’s heart raced in terror, her body fighting against the pain, but her strength was fleeting.

A second slam.

Emilia needed to think of a way to get out of this.

A third.

Emilia had to attack.

A fourth.

None of her attacks worked before though .

A fifth.

Emilias dress was torn, her skin with deep marks on it.

She can’t keep pondering forever. She can’t heal her’s or Subaru’s wounds without going to the dragon’s blood in the castle.

She had one last attack she could use.

A sixth.

The ground struggled under these rapid hits.

She had an attack she has only used twice.

An attack that had left nobody alive.

An attack she got at the same time as her authority.

A seventh.

Emilia decided.

To kill this beast she had to use that attack.

The one that she has used only twice before.

The one that kills everything around her.

The one that used her failures and left her empty afterwards.

The one Puck forced on her….. not as a gift… but as a goodbye.

The final “power” he gave and disguised as protection.

The one he thought was for love.

The one she felt as betrayal.

The Cold Despair.

Before the beast could attack again Emilia summoned a pillar of ice to hit the beast.

The pillar struck the beast head-on, flinging him off Emilia with a thunderous crack that sent fractured snow and stone spraying in every direction.

The Beast snarled as it skidded across the stone, digging clawed limbs into the surface to slow itself. Its eyes glowed with hatred.

Emilia ran.

She had to make it to the outskirts, far enough where she could have some control over Subaru’s safety. Just a mile or two will allow her to unleash a small version of this attack with only a small risk of Subaru being hurt.

So she ran.

Or limped. Dragged herself. Her leg screamed in pain as it was barely braced and hurting with each step.

Behind her, the Forsaken Tiger snarled. Its claws were tearing into stone and ice with every step. It wasn’t chasing her.

It was hunting her.

She couldn’t outrun it. Not like this.

So she fought while fleeing,walls of jagged ice erupted behind her, desperate barriers meant to slow the beast. They shattered almost as fast as she conjured them but it kept buying her some time.

Another wall,crushed. Another turn,followed.

Her body was giving out. But she forced herself to keep moving.

The city blurred around her as she tried to run.

The beast was closing in.

A claw swiped past her shoulder, grazing her skin and ripping through the edge of her tattered cloak. She didn’t scream,she didn’t have the breath for it.

Not yet. Not until she was far enough away.

Not until she was sure Subaru wouldn’t die with her.

Another wall. This one she shaped sharper, angled with barbs of ice. It bought her a few precious seconds.

She stumbled into an alley at the edge of the ruined plaza. The city’s outer wall loomed just ahead. Beyond that… the wide area of greenery.

Exactly what she needed.

She turned to look behind her,and nearly collapsed.

The Forsaken Tiger was there.

Tearing through ice and shadow. Steam pouring from its fangs. Its eyes locked onto her. And Emilia,bleeding, broken, and barely able to stand,met its gaze with fire in her heart.

She had to use this attack now.

Emilia raised her right hand and said in a low tone

“Cold Despair”

In an instant, the mana was gone, ripped from the air, stolen from the stones, the air, and anything that had it. The surroundings fell into an unnatural silence as if even time had paused in anticipation.

The Forsaken Tiger staggered mid-step and collapsed to one knee, his monstrous form unraveling because of the lack of mana. What remained was a man. Garfiel. Breathless. Bare-skinned. Eyes blazing with defiance even as his strength drained away.

He didn’t try to run.

Didn’t plead.

Didn’t even blink.

He saw this attack once before.

He needed to stop it.

He refused to stay down.

Behind Emilia, the grass, the first alive piece of nature she saw for months, crackled as frost overtook it.

In front of Emilia, the already-frozen capital was freezing over again.

The mana, all of it, was pouring into her. It raced into her body trying to tear her apart from the inside. But her pool was vast. Made vast by the one who left her with this attack.

Just like how Puck did.

Just like how Puck abandoned her… with this.

This unbearable, divine weight of destruction.

This unbearable weight of her despair .

The atmosphere was being robbed.

Just like how she did it when she used it here before.

But still,he moved.

The Forsaken Tiger rose.

Not a tiger anymore, but still with muscle, rage, and an unrelenting will.

He stumbled forward. Blood dripped from his mouth. Knees trembling.

And then he punched her.

A raw, desperate strike,no magic, no beast, no claws.

Just him.

Emilia felt that punch.

But she didn’t falter.

She couldn’t.

She couldn't keep draining the world without consequence. Her body was screaming. Her veins felt like they were lined with razors. If she kept getting hit like this, she’d collapse before she could finish him.

So she moved on to the second part.

With a gasp that tore through her throat, Emilia released everything she had just gathered.

A wave of magic cooling the environment burst out from her body.

All the mana she gained from the atmosphere she released at once.

It froze anyone who came into contact with it.

It made them feel the despair like she felt that day.

The wave surged through the Forsaken Tiger.

Inside him.

Flesh crystallized from within. Bones locked in place. A scream of agony formed but never left his mouth, frozen halfway through.

And then……
She pulled it all back .

The ice reversed . The wave retracted, dragging the mana back into her like breath returning to drowning lungs.

The air grew even colder .

The world groaned under the pressure.

And then…..

She released it again.

Another wave.

Garfield tried to move which only caused pieces of him to start to fall off.

Flesh.

Muscle.

He didn’t scream. Couldn’t. His jaw was frozen open, eyes wide, unmoving.

But Emilia wasn’t done.

She did it again.

And again.

And again.

Each time, ripping the mana from the world, pushing it back out.

Until the trees froze in place.

Until the buildings had been preserved in the frost.

Until the environment had no mana left to give .

Until……

Everything that could feel was completely frozen.

Until what was once Garfield was now a pile of frozen remains.

Emilia became a vessel for the mana in the environment.

Using herself to remove it from the environment causing it to freeze.

And then using that mana she unleashed it to lower the temperature further.

Anything that moved or tried to struggle collapsed and shattered.

Anything that didn’t was preserved in time.

This was The Cold Despair.

It took a toll on Emilia.

She tried to go back to Subaru.

But ultimately fell and collapsed.

Chapter Text

Run.

Rip.

Tear.

Kill.

These thoughts were instincts that burned through the Forsaken Tiger’s blood.

Despair.

The cold lashed through him again, peeling back his skin from the inside.

He saw this attack before. He knows what it does. He can’t let that happen. He tried to use his claw to swipe at her before she could finish this attack.

But it was no longer a claw.

It was a hand.

A human hand.

His instincts commanded his body to become the beast again, to fight her, to kill her.

But nothing happened.

His mana had been stolen. Robbed.

He tried to scream but couldn’t even move his jaw anymore.

His knees buckled, frostbite clung to his nerves. He dragged himself forward by instinct. By hatred.

But no matter how much he tried to even get a few inches closer, he couldn't.

The white was everywhere.

The Witch stood in it, mouth open, eyes white, blue emanating from her as she took in all the mana in the weather.

He HATED her.

His blood boiled even in this extreme weather.

HATED her and Subaru.

He has been fueled by rage ever since he saw them alive.

HATE

HATE

Hate

hate

hate

He felt his limbs cracking. Splitting. Ice formed in places it didn’t belong, his lungs, his eyes….

He tried to struggle…., but that only caused him to break more.

The more he moved the more he broke.

Even if he didn’t move it was futile…. Even his heartbeat would cause him to break apart eventually. All things die with this attack.

His body began to crumble.

And in those final moments before everything was stripped away he remembered.

With just a bit of clarity.

With just a bit of peace.

And an Immense wave of sadness.

How he failed everyone.

And that was his last thought

And was the only non-instinctual thing he has done for who knows how long.

The last conscience thought he had.

Was about that day he failed everyone.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The first thing he felt was pain.

Pain sheared across his body as he faded in and out of conscience

The pain of a slow gnaw of something. Tiny jaws tearing at his flesh. A hundred little mouths feasting on him.

He couldn't move.

Garfiel wanted to scream, but his jaw wouldn’t move. He wanted to protect who was in front of him, but his arms were pinned. His world was fading.

Time didn’t pass right. It was like being caught in a nightmare where everything blurred pain, cold, silence, and then….

A grunt. 

Tiny arms around his shoulders. Cloth bunched beneath him, her knees slipping in the ice as she dragged him one inch further.

“can’t let you… can’t leave you…”

He couldn’t see her well. His left eye was crusted with blood. His right flickered open just long enough to catch a streak of pale pink. Her hair? Her eyes?

It came out as a breath.

Her fingers were shaking.

They left behind a trail of red where his side dragged.

A blink.

The nibbling grew more viscous as he was being dragged off.

A scream of pain and despair in the distance chidded.

The nibbling stopped.

Another blink.

Now the same hands cupped his face. A soft voice calling his name, shaking him gently.

“Garfield. Garfield, stay awake. I’ll carry you. I’ll carry you as far as I can.”

He wanted to speak.

He wanted to ask why she was doing this.

But he already knew.

So he closed his eyes again.

Let her carry him.

Let her try.

Even if he wouldn’t make it.

None of them ever did in this cursed place.

A blink.

He was somewhere else. Being dragged somewhere else.
Snow on his cheeks. Ice beneath his back. Face in pain. Bite marks all over him.

He thought he’d died.

A blink.

Still breathing. Ragged, but real. The frost no longer bit so hard. 

The girl, the pink blur, also hurt, had collapsed beside him. Her head rested near his ribs, unmoving, but her hand still clutched his sleeve.

She’d carried him here.

Wherever “here” was.

Another blink.

He felt it.

A hum beneath him.

The earth.

A blink

He was healing.

How?

His Divine Protection of Earth Spirits.

It had been so long since he'd been this close to death. His body had always healed slowly because of the earth and it was doing it now.

Using his divine protection, the earth was working through the soil beneath him. Gentle mana seeped into his broken body, coaxing life back into it. It wasn't fixing everything, but they were doing enough..

A blink

He felt better.

The earth healed him.

He tried to move.

But he couldn't.

Every muscle screamed in protest. His bones were still cracked, and his flesh, though mending, was fragile. The pain was still too much. His body refused to listen, too weighed down by the sheer brutality of what it had endured. All he could do was blink , the world around him warping with each flicker of his consciousness.

Through the haze of pain, something caught his attention.

Ryuzu.

But he couldn’t reach her.

He couldn’t even speak. The cold gnawed at his skin.

His body hurt. His spirit burned with the need to be whole again, to get back to his feet, to fight.

He didn’t care.

He didn't care about the pain anymore.

The beast inside of him roared to life. The rage, the raw fury that had existed within him pushed him forward. He had once relied on it, once used it to heal, to become stronger, to survive.

With a thought, his body began to shift.

The transformation came with a violent surge, his bones cracking and his skin stretching as the transformation happened. It tore at his human form, ripping him apart only to stitch him together in a monstrous new body.

He felt the change. He felt the heat flood his limbs, the strength surging as his claws began to form, but…

The pain, it was still there. Not even the beast’s form could ease it. Not completely.

Garfiel snarled in frustration, the transformation wasn't completed. The ground beneath him, the earth that had started his healing, wasn’t enough to restore him completely. Not yet.

He needed more.

He needed to heal faster.

The beast raged, and Garfiel’s grip on his human form slipped again, the transformation threatening to consume him entirely.

But Ryuzu... She was still there. His only tether to reality.

He couldn’t slip into madness yet. Not while she was nearby.

His focus wavered. His body trembled, not from the cold, but from the struggle between the man and the beast within him.

He had to heal. He had to be strong.

But his body was breaking down too fast, and the beast only offered so much.

One last time.

He tried again.

But at that moment it was like all the mana in the atmosphere was being stolen, robbed.

He couldn’t transform.

But he couldn’t stop.

He had to move.

He had to keep going.

With a grunt, he reached out. His hand closed around Ryuzu, her body feeling so light in his arms, as if she weighed nothing at all. She was a small comfort in the storm that raged inside him, but she was enough to keep him from completely losing himself.

He barely had the strength to lift her, but somehow, he managed. Even though he couldn’t fully transform, he was able to transform just enough to heal some of his bones. His legs screamed in protest as he pushed himself to his feet, his vision swimming with every step he took. But he stood, and he moved. Limping forward, dragging himself through the ice and snow, carrying her with him.

The cold was nothing compared to the heat of his hatred. It boiled inside him, searing every thought, every breath, until he could think of nothing but the one thing that consumed him.

Hate.
Hate for that bastard Roswaal. Hate for everything he had done to him, to everyone he cared about.
Hate for Subaru, that damned member of the witch cult mocking him.
Hate for Emilia, for not doing more. For not completing the trials, for not doing anything

All of it, a storm of rage swirling inside him, making him move despite the agony. 

It was all-consuming.

He couldn’t stop. Not now. Not ever.

And yet, even as his world cracked beneath him, even as he stumbled forward, the girl he carried her presence was the one thing that grounded him, pulling him back from the abyss. For all the pain, for all the rage, she was still there.

He took another shaky step forward, dragging his battered body through the snow, clutching the fragile form of Ryuzu in his arms. She barely moved, her breath shallow, her body too weak to support itself. She was slipping in and out of consciousness, the pain and exhaustion consuming her. But even in this state, she refused to go further.

They had reached the barrier. A wall between them and the path ahead. Garfiel could feel it, an invisible force that would allow him to pass, but not her. A seal set up by a Witch long ago that wouldn’t let any demihumans through.

Garfield could move forward as he wasn’t half-demihuman, but Ryuzu couldn't.

Her eyes fluttered open, her gaze unfocused, but when they met his, something flickered in them understanding, acceptance, maybe even resignation. She barely whispered, her voice weak, barely audible through the wind.

"Go…"

The words were soft, fragile. A plea.

He had a choice.

He could leave her behind, let her stay here and fade away, knowing that moving forward might be the only way to save himself, to survive. To escape the hell he had been dragged into.

Or he could carry her through the barrier, defy the world that tried to keep them apart, and risk everything for her, even though she could barely walk, barely breathe.

Garfiel’s breath hitched, the weight of the decision settling heavily on his chest.

"Go..." Her voice came again, almost pleading, but not for herself or for him. 

He looked at her, his grip tightening around her fragile form. The pain in his body, the gnawing hunger for power, the hatred that burned in his chest.

But then…

The mana in the air. It was being pulled, ripped away, and Ryuzu, fragile and weak being made of that same mana. The very essence of her existence was tethered to the mana around them that was being robbed.

Her body trembled in his arms. He could feel it, the slow, inevitable drain of life. She was fading. And with every passing second, the space between them and the barrier grew more insurmountable.

“Ryuzu-n…” He tried to say even with his voicecords destroyed.

Her eyelids fluttered, struggling to stay open, but there was a faintness to her features now, a translucent quality that wasn’t there before. The warmth from her body began to wane, the soft hum of life in her still form slowly dimming. She didn’t have much time.

"Stay with me…" he tried to whisper. But they were hollow. His hands clenched her tighter, as though he could somehow will her to hold on, to fight against the unnatural drain.

She met his gaze one last time, her eyes cloudy with exhaustion. Her lips parted, a faint smile touching her face, as if she found peace in knowing what was happening.

"Go..." Her voice, a whisper so soft, seemed to blend into the wind. "Please… Go."

His breath caught in his throat. He wanted to scream, to shout, to tear apart the cruel fate that had brought him to this point. He wanted to save her, to carry her through the barrier and beyond the freezing death that was pulling her under.

But as she started to fade, her form growing more transparent, his own heart wavered.

The choice was no longer his.

The mana in the air was being drained, and Ryuzu’s body couldn't withstand the loss. She was becoming less and less. Her hand, once resting gently on his arm, grew cold, its faint glow extinguishing.

"You dam hag…" His voice cracked again, but she was slipping away. Slowly, the light in her eyes dimmed as the last vestiges of her mana faded, leaving nothing but an empty shell behind.

She was gone.

All he could do was stand there, frozen in place. The snow around them was still and quiet, but the air felt heavy. Garfiel’s hands trembled, the weight of loss too much for him to bear.

For a moment, he thought he might fall to his knees, but there was no time for that. He had to move. Had to escape. Something was coming, he could just barely sense it.

He moved forward, stepping past the last location of Ryuzu Meyer.

He had made a choice.

And that choice would haunt him forever.

He felt despair.

A Cold Despair

And in that moment when he felt that. The mana in the air came back. This time in a wave of frost.

Garfield who was already freezing grew colder. His body nearly froze. His muscles and lungs were filled with chunks of ice.

And again the mana started to get robbed from the environment.

It was an attack.

He had to run.

To leave the sanctuary behind.

To turn his back from Ryuzu.

And that's what he did.

He ran.


He ran, and he hated himself for it.

He hated everything.

He hated the sound of Ryuzu’s voice in his head, still whispering his name like it mattered.

The trees thinned. The ice cracked beneath his feet.

His breaths came sharp and ragged.

But he didn’t stop.

He couldn’t stop.

He had to live.

He had to remember.


Even if remembering tore him apart.

Then…

It came again.

A stillness.

Not silence. Not peace.

Just… stillness.

And then the world screamed.

No..

Someone screamed

A raw, broken scream. One that was also filled with despair

Then the cold hit.

Garfiel stumbled. His legs buckled beneath him.
The frost clawed its way up from the earth, across his boots, into his bones.
Ice formed in his mouth before he could curse.

 His vision blurred.

He tried to shift again, force the beast out, but the mana was gone.
Even the rage inside him was freezing.

His body struck the snow.

His claws scraped at the dirt.

And the scream echoed again.
This time it was His own.

He felt pain.
He felt forsaken.
He felt despair.

Garfield blacked out




Days passed

Garfield was just far enough from the blast zone to barely survive and his divine protection healed him from that wave of cold.

His limbs ached as he forced himself up.
His stomach screamed louder than his thoughts.
He needed food.
Water.
Warmth.

Anything.

But as he staggered through the trees and down the slope.
What he found wasn’t life.

The Sanctuary was still frozen.
Not the frost of winter.
Dead.

Homes encased in ice.
Not a single living thing on site.

No Roswaal.
No Emilia.
No Subaru.

Garfiel’s breath steamed in the air.
His vision blurred, not from the cold this time.

And then something inside him snapped.

Bloodlust surged through his veins.

They did this.

Roswaal. Subaru. Emilia.

He didn’t care who.

He would kill them.

He would tear them apart.

He would make them feel despair.

But no matter how far he searched, how far he looked in and outside the frozen wasteland.

There was no scent of them.

No trail.

Nothing.

Just him.

Alone.

So he trained.

And trained.

And trained.

He trained till his body couldn't move anymore

And then still trained more.

He didn't know what he was doing.

Was it to protect someone?

Was it for revenge?

Was it because he was scared?

He didn’t know

He just trained, fought and searched.

He was too enraged to do anything else.

He occasionally went to the capital when he needed food. He hated the capital, still buzzing with life, people who acted like nothing happened. He would buy something to eat or drink by selling stuff he found in the sanctuary.

Not like anyone would care.

After all, most people he knew weren’t around anymore.

After he left from his rare trip, he trained.

And trained.

And trained.

Without end.

Until one day.

A day several months after he was forsaken by the world.

On his way to the capital, he smelled something.

A stench that he never liked. A stench that made his blood boil.

And he followed it.

Once there he didn't care that the Capital was no longer buzzing with life.

He didn’t care how it looked more like the sanctuary now with the frozen wasteland.

He cared about the smell.

So he followed it.

And when he tracked it down.

He launched his attack.

An attack against the world.

Against the things that ruined him.

Against two people he hated.

Emilia and Subaru.

Chapter Text

Emilia’s eyes fluttered open. She was lying in the snow.

The battle was over.

The Forsaken Tiger was gone. She didn’t remember the end. Only the ice. Only the scream. Only how the world had stopped when she unleashed that attack.

The capital around her was silent, buried deeper in frost than before. The buildings had become brittle bones wrapped in crystal.

She sat up, slow and stiff. Her fingertips trembled, brushing frost off her dress, though her skin no longer registered the cold. It had taken too much. From the land. From the sky. From her. And she had let it. But none of that mattered now.

“Subaru”. He was still back at the castle. Still lying where she left him. Too close to the edge of the blast. Too close to her.

She tried to stand. Her legs ached. Her knees buckled for a moment before she caught herself on a frozen wall.

“No, no, no…” she whispered to no one, forcing herself forward.

Every step was a struggle. But she moved. Because she had to. She had to get back to Subaru. She had to see him. She had to prove to herself that he was still alive.That she hadn’t…She bit her lip. Hard enough to draw blood. Then ran. Through a capital silenced by frost.  Through the aftermath of her own power.Back to the castle. Back to him.

Emilia was strong, at least stronger then she was around a year ago, but even still, Subaru might be dead, even still, Emilia had to use her trump card, even still, Emilia struggled even with the power she was bestowed.

The wind howled against the ice-covered buildings, a sound so constant it might as well have been silence. Emilia pushed forward. 

The castle was in sight now.

She stumbled up the steps, half-running, half-dragging herself forward. Nothing has changed with the castle, her attack focuses on the repeated stealing and exertion of mana to lower the temperatures, things that don't have mana or life in them mostly didn't have anything to fear. She had to unleash the attack far away in fear of Subaru being frozen and brought to dust with the attack. She didn’t know how long she had been knocked out for, she just knew she had to see Subaru.

"Subaru!" Her voice cracked. Not from the cold. From the fear.

She found him where she left him.

Lying in the castle, tossed aside during the heat of the battle. His skin was pale, his lips almost blue. His breath came slow, barely visible in the air. He wasn’t dead. Not yet.

But he was close.

She dropped to her knees beside him, brushing frost from his face with shaking fingers. The warmth from his body was all but gone. He had hours. No. Not even that. Minutes, maybe, before the cold would steal him too. She was at least far enough for his mana not to be drained, but the Cold brought Despair to his body

Her vision blurred. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She couldn’t cry now. Not now. She had to act.

"You're still alive… you’re still here," she whispered, more to herself than to him.

She held his face between her hands. "You have to stay. Just a little longer. Just a little longer and I’ll fix this.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subaru left her once.

She didn’t think of it much.

She was told not to.

All she had to do was follow and he would be brought back.

Follow what the book and that person said.

“Obtain the dragon’s blood in the castle to make him comfortable for a return”.

“Obtain “Blue” and use him to make it suitable for a return”.

Those 2 things were what she did to get Subaru back.

She sent “Blue” off to the city, but the dragon’s blood…
It was still in the castle.

She couldn’t carry it with her, not with the chance of her having to use that attack again. It had to be hidden away in a room.

She staggered to her feet.

Subaru wasn’t going to last.  

She had minutes.

Maybe.

The cold was already in his bones.

She ran. Ran past frost-covered hallways.

Her short hair clung to her face.

She didn’t stop. Not until she reached it.

The vault room.

She fumbled at the wards, broke them with what little mana she still had.

Her hand burned.

Her head spun.

She didn’t care.

She dove inside.

There it was.

The vial.

Floating in a crystal casing.

Still intact.

She grabbed it barehanded. The cold nearly bit through her fingers.

Then she ran again.

Back to Subaru.

He hadn’t moved.

His chest barely rose. Barely fell.

“Subaru,” she whispered.

She opened the vial.

Tilted Subaru's head back.

And poured the blood into his mouth.

Subaru’s body convulsed.

His back arched slightly.

His fingers twitched.

A ragged breath tore from his throat, sharp and hoarse, like his lungs were relearning how to work.

The dragon’s blood shimmered where it touched his skin. A faint glow pulsed through the veins along his neck. The bruises faded first. Then the gashes. Then the burns left by the ice. Then the arm which was barely connected to his body started to mend together.

He was healing.
Slowly.

But he was healing.

Emilia let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. Her legs gave out beneath her. She sank to her knees beside him, clutching the empty vial in one hand, her other resting on his chest just to feel it rise. Just to make sure he was still breathing.

"You're okay," she whispered, as if saying it would make it more true. "You're okay now."

Subaru wouldn’t wake up anytime soon. So she had to get ready for when he did.

Carefully, she pulled his arm over her shoulders and lifted him.

Step by step, she dragged him down the halls, back to the room they’d been staying in before everything went wrong.

The bed is covered in sheets stiff with cold.

She laid him down gently. Brushed the hair from his face. His skin was warm again. Not much. But enough.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours passed.

Emilia sat nearby, arms wrapped around her knees, watching.

She didn’t sleep.

Couldn’t.

Every time his breathing hitched, every time he shifted, her heart clenched. Then he twitched. A sharp motion. A wince. His fingers curled against the blanket. He mumbled
Something. Unintelligible at first.

Then….. “No… wait…”His brow furrowed. His jaw clenched. And he whispered it again.“Don’t… don’t go….”   “I’ll save….. You”. A nightmare. Of course he was having one. After everything… how could he not? Emilia hesitated, biting her lip. Her fingers twitched against her skirt. She wanted to hold his hand. Wake him up. Pull him out of it. But he needed rest. But also he needed comfort.

Slowly, she stood. Walked to the edge of the bed. Then she knelt.Gently, she lifted his head, and started guiding it onto her lap. His breathing stilled, she didn't like lap pillows anymore, but maybe he still did. She put his head on her land and his fingers relaxed. His face eased, the fear in it fading like mist.

She ran her fingers through his hair.“I’m here,” she whispered. “I’ll stay this time. So please don't leave me.” “You don’t have to save me anymore”.

She leaned back against the bed frame, her fingers never stopping. Even if he didn’t hear her. Even if she wasn’t sure if he would wake up tomorrow. She would be there when he did.

Emilia watched him in silence.His breathing was steady now. Slower. The color had returned to his face. His body wasn’t trembling anymore. And that pained look he always had when he dreamed, it was… softer now.

Her fingers brushed along his bangs again, trailing down to his cheek. She didn’t smile. Not really. But her expression grew still.
Thoughtful. His lips moved slightly in his sleep, breath parting them just a little, and Emilia’s eyes lingered there. A memory stirred in her.

She now knew that a kiss doesn't do what she originally thought. But wasn’t kissing still an act of love? It had still been love. Hadn’t it? Her throat tightened.

Emilia looked down at Subaru’s sleeping face. The boy who had left her. The boy she brought back. The boy who hadn’t said thank you.But he was still hers. She had made sure of that.

Her hand trembled as it reached for his jaw, lightly, barely a touch. Just enough to feel the heat on his skin. To remind herself that he was real. That she hadn’t lost him again. That he hadn’t disappeared when she blinked.

Her lips hovered a breath above his.

One more kiss wouldn’t hurt.

Right?

She leaned in. Slower than she ever had before.

Her breath caught.

And then, gently, softly, she kissed him. Just like the last time.

No… not this time .

This time, when she pulled away… his eyes were open.

Violet met black.

And for a moment, Emilia forgot how to breathe.

He was awake.

He was still here.

And he was looking at her.

Emilia’s heart leapt into her throat. Her chest tightened.

He didn’t leave.

He didn’t lie.

He was still here.

He stayed.

She kissed him… and he stayed.

Last time she did this, he left her behind. Left her to silence and frost and questions no one could answer.

But not this time .

Now he was here.

Now she could forgive herself.

Now she could forget.

Forget the despair that had nearly hollowed her out.

Because she had him.

She had Subaru.

And nothing else mattered.

Nothing.

Not anymore.

Nothing to complain about at all.

Now she doesn’t have to bear the weight of that Cold Despair.

Chapter Text

Her lips trembled against his.

They were soft, and warm, warm from all the times she missed Subaru, from all the love she was going to give him, warm from the fact that Subaru can’t leave her now, warm from the fact that she now has Subaru’s child.

She drew back.

But Subaru wasn’t smiling.

“...Subaru?”

Her voice cracked as she said it, like she hadn’t spoken in hours. Maybe she hadn’t. Maybe time had stopped altogether the moment she leaned down and kissed him. Her fingers brushed his cheek, gently, carefully.

He looked tired, at least that’s what she saw when he entered this tomb.

“Stop... sleeping. I finally got to see you again, so don’t..... don’t be mean.”

His head lolled slightly against her lap. Nothing in his body resisted the movement. No embarrassed huff, no stiffening shoulders, no sarcastic comment about how bold she was being.

Just... silence.

Emilia’s breath hitched. Her hands slid to his shoulders and she shook him. Once. Twice. Not hard, atleast, not at first.

“Subaru. Wake up….. I said I loved you, I said I wanted you to stay with me forever……… So please wake up.”

The shaking became rougher. Her grip tightened, fingers digging into the shredded fabric of his coat. His blood had soaked through everything. Even now, it was warm against her palms. She could feel it.

Blood?

Why was there blood?

“No... No, no, no, no—Subaru, please, you’re not……. You’re not allowed to do this. Not you. You’re the one who always comes back. Don’t leave me.”

The tears were falling before she realized she was crying.

His skin was pale. Too pale. And it wasn’t just the snow. Her magic couldn’t fix this. She didn’t even try to cast a spell…… because something inside her knew.

But she couldn’t accept it.

“I waited for you,” she whispered, curling over his chest, pressing her forehead to his. “I waited, and I believed, even when the world was falling apart and the cold wouldn’t stop, I still believed in you. So why won’t you believe in me now? Why won’t you answer?”

She felt his body shifting….. no, slipping. His weight sagged in her arms, lifeless. Dead weight.

And her world cracked.

“Don’t leave me here,” she breathed. “Please... Subaru... I don’t want to be alone again... I can’t be alone again.”

Her voice barely escaped her lips.

The wind outside howled like a beast.

But the tomb was silent.

Only her trembling sobs filled the chamber now, and the spreading stain beneath them, red against the cold stone.

Yet even then, even with all signs pointing to what she'd lost... Emilia refused to believe it.

She pressed her lips to his once more, as if to coax breath back into him, she refused to believe he was dead. She stayed like that for a long moment. Waiting. Praying. Denying.

Then she looked back.

Back at the face she loved.

And the face didn't move.

Emilia’s heart sank…. no, it broke. Splintered. Shattered into something that would never fit back together.

When she thought she couldn’t fall any deeper, a sound like glass cracking echoed faintly in her ears.

She looked down…….. and saw the crystal around her neck, the one that had housed Puck for so long, fall in glittering shards to the stone floor.

It was gone.
He was gone.

And so was Subaru

“...No…”

Her voice came out like a whisper broken in half. She looked around the chamber as if expecting him to appear. To chide her gently. To wrap her in warmth and say it was just a bad dream.

But there was only the cold.

The remnants of the contract with her father figure.

Subaru’s body, unmoving in her lap.

And the growing pool of red.

“Don’t go,” she begged, her fingers trembling against his skin.

“Not you too. Not you…”. Emilia was curling around what was left.

Left of Subaru

Left of her pact with Puck

Her breaths were shallow now, syncing to nothing, as if trying to match a rhythm that no longer existed.

Somewhere in the distance, beyond the tomb walls, she could hear a sound…… something scraping, something moving.

But she didn’t care.

Let the world end.

Let it all be swallowed.

Let it all pay for what happened to Subaru.

Still his

Still hers.

Even if it was a lie.

Even if everything she was had already slipped away.

Even as her heart sank.

Even as she felt her Slothfulness….  the actions she never took for him.

Even as she felt her Envy….. the rage, the hunger, the need to take back what she wanted, but didn’t take action to get.

Even as Puck gave his last “gift”..... To fulfill his contract, to destroy this world, before vanishing forever.

Even as the mana was robbed from the air, drawn inwards, twisted, devoured.

Even as the Great Rabbit turned its endless hunger toward her.

Even as she felt the Cold.

Even as she felt Despair.

She didn’t move.

She didn’t cry out.

She simply held him tighter.

And the world began to break.

All the mana was being robbed from the air.

And she let out a scream.

A scream that shook the entirety of the Sanctuary.

A scream that unleashed all of the mana she gained.

A scream that sought to destroy.

A scream against the world.

A scream to bring on its end.

A scream of all the pain she felt.

A scream of what she lost.

A scream that marked the beginning of the first Cold Despair.

All the mana burst from her body releasing a wave of cold across the sanctuary.

Everything went still.

The wind.

The sky.

The hunger.

Even the Great Rabbit halted…. if only for a heartbeat.

And in that heartbeat, Emilia moved.

She dragged herself toward Subaru. Crawling at first, her arms trembling beneath her.

She needed to make sure he was safe.

The frost clung to her like chains, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. Her vision blurred. Her limbs shook. But all she saw was him. She reached out…. bloodied, frostbitten fingers brushing his cheek. 

Then…. more skittering.

The sound returned.

The stillness cracked.

The Great Rabbit had stopped for only a moment. Now it multiplied again, white bodies rippling through the frost-covered ruins like a tide. Uncountable, unstoppable. And this time, they were heading straight for her.

Emilia’s heart gave a slow, painful thud.

She didn’t scream again.

She didn’t panic.

She simply leaned down and wrapped her arms around Subaru. Gently. Carefully. As if afraid he might shatter.

She pulled him close to her chest. Held him as if by holding him tightly enough, she could keep the world from taking any more.

And then she stood.

Her knees nearly gave out. Her balance wavered. But she caught herself. She braced her feet against the ice and took one step. Then another. Slow. Steady.

She walked with Subaru in her arms.

She walked as the mana tore itself from the world, into her body, and then out. Over and over again. Flowing into her, then bursting out through her skin like broken glass…… cold, violent, uncontrolled.

She walked.

And she cried

Cried because she refused to stop.

Because Subaru wouldn’t have.

Because even now, even when everything in her screamed that it was too late…..

She believed.

She didn’t look back.

She just held him closer. So tightly. Like she could share her warmth. Like she could keep his soul from leaving if she just kept walking long enough.

And the Great Rabbit tried to follow.

But it was dying.

Each burst of frost killed all the surrounding rabbits.

They would try to multiply but their numbers were dwindling each attack.

If they would have tried to flee maybe they could live.

But each time Emilia pulled in all the mana in the air, they were brought to it like moths to a flame.

The air twisted and cracked around her, raw with mana and grief.

And through it all……

She just kept walking.

Toward the Margrave’s estate.

Toward the place it had all started.

Toward the place it had all ended.

With the boy she loved in her arms.

And the world collapsing behind her.

The snow had covered everything behind her.

She had walked for hours. Her arms trembled. Her legs barely moved. But she still walked.

She didn’t know if it was morning or night.

But she walked.

She held Subaru close to her chest, his body limp in her arms. 

Each time she unleashed the frost, each time she tore the mana from the air and crushed it into a weapon of despair, more land would be covered in ice.

And still, she walked.

The weight in her arms was cold.

She dared not look at his face.

“Just a little longer…” she whispered through her tears, but no voice came. Her throat was raw from screaming hours ago.

There was no road beneath her anymore. No trail. No sign of life. Just snow, and ruins, and a world that had given up long before she did.

She stumbled.

Fell to her knees.

Snow spilled into her lap.

She held him tighter.

“I can still fix this…”

A lie.

She had told too many lies….. to herself, to him, to the world.

And now, no one was left to answer them.

When she raised her head, she saw the mansion on the horizon.

Where it had all begun.

Where it ended.

Where it is covered in snow.

It looked like a tomb.

The final resting place of all their dreams.

Emilia stood. Her legs burned. Her vision blurred. But she stood.

The world had turned white. The sky, the snow, the trees, all washed in pale oblivion.

Only the red in her eyes remained.

She walked toward the gate.

And with every step, the weight in her arms grew colder. The sobs grew louder, the mana drained faster, and the air grew colder.

But still, she believed.

She had to.

Because Subaru would have.

Because even now… if she could just walk far enough… if she could just hold him long enough…

Maybe she could reach the place where the miracle had started.

Maybe faith would smile upon her again.

Or maybe, it would abandon her again.

Just like Puck.

Just like Roswald.

….

……

…………….

A final sob escaped her mouth……………….

“And just like you, Subaru”

Emilia fell in front of the Margrave's estate covered in snow.

Just like Subaru had on his one loop with Rem.

Two people who were hated.

One by the world.

One by faith.

Two people in different time's and circumstance's

But one thing remained the same between them.

They both felt a type of Cold Despair.

Chapter Text

She lay at the foot of the Margrave’s estate, scratched and tattered by witchbeasts….. or what had once been witchbeasts, before the wave of cold.

The ice was a white kind of cold. Not biting, not howling. Just still. It left everything preserved exactly as it had been, frozen in place… minus the life that once lived in it.

None of that mattered now.

What anchored her wasn’t the ground. It was the weight in her arms.

Subaru didn’t move.

His face was pale. Not sleeping. Still. His skin had the same faint chill as the wind that no longer blew. His chest didn’t rise, and hadn’t in hours. His heart had stopped beneath her fingers long before the frost began to settle.

And yet she didn’t let go.

She held him, arms locked tight around his lifeless form, as if she could keep him from fading by refusing to move. His cheek brushed against her collarbone. Her breath, cloudy and shallow, ghosted over his hair.

“I’m still here,” she whispered. “So don’t leave me too.”

But he didn't respond, or stir, or move. She closed her eyes. When they opened again, nothing had changed.

Her knees protested as she shifted, but she ignored the pain. Carefully, gently, she rose with him in her arms, holding him like something precious and fragile and already broken. His limbs hung loosely. His head lolled slightly to the side, but she didn’t adjust it. She didn’t want to disturb him. Didn’t want to admit how cold he was.

The manor loomed ahead, jagged and quiet, half-swallowed by frost.

She stepped inside.

Her boots slid slightly on the frost-slick tile. Glass crunched beneath her heel…. remnants of the chandelier that once hung above the entrance hall. Ice had crept over everything, delicate and invasive. It crawled up the walls, traced the broken picture frames, and sealed the jagged wounds left behind by Elsa’s rampage.

The silence was complete.

“Sorry for coming in unannounced,” she said softly. Her voice didn’t echo.

No one answered.

She walked deeper into the ruins, past splintered doors and darkened halls, holding Subaru like he might wake if she found the right room. The right warmth. The right time.

But he didn’t.

And the house had nothing left to give.

Emilia walked through the estate, maybe searching for someone, maybe just looking for a place for Subaru to rest. All the doors were open…. She didn’t know why.

Then something caught her attention.

A room.

One of the few rooms that were near the edge of her outburst.

Still cold.

Still frozen.

But this time it was not desolate.

There was a girl. Asleep. Barely moving….. only the slow rise and fall of her chest gave any sign of life. 

A girl Subaru loved.

A girl she didn’t know.

A girl she was jealous of.

A girl she hated.

Emilia’s breath hitched, tightening in her chest like a knot. How could this girl be safe, when Subaru lay cold and still in her arms? When everything else around them had been torn apart and frozen in death?

The girl’s peaceful sleep mocked her, a reminder of what Emilia had lost and could never reclaim. She didn’t know this Rem…. not really, Gluttony took that away from her. But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was the quiet claim she held over Subaru’s heart.

A bitter flame flickered behind Emilia’s eyes. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.

Why was she the one carrying death, while Rem lay untouched, distant and unreachable? Why was that girl allowed to live, to breathe, to be loved… while Emilia was left clutching nothing but cold silence?

The jealousy twisted into something darker, sharper.

She didn’t just envy her. She hated her.

For being alive.

For being enough.

For being everything Emilia wasn’t.

Her hands clenched tighter around Subaru’s lifeless form, the pain and rage burning through her numbness.

Why her? Why not me?

The bitterness twisted inside her like a poison, spreading until it clouded every thought. The silent room seemed to close in, and the cold felt sharper… not outside, but within.

Emilia’s eyes darkened. Her voice dropped to a low, venomous whisper, trembling with everything she refused to admit.

“Die,” she said.

The word slipped out like a curse… soft, deadly.

Ice shards sprouted from Rem like a flower blossoming in frost.

But Emilia’s anger was far from spent. It churned inside her like a storm, relentless and aching.

She hadn’t let it all out yet. Not nearly enough.

She wanted to kill her again. And again. And again.

For stealing what she had loved.

For taking Subaru away.

Would Subaru still be alive if she hadn’t been here?

Would he have left her instead?

Why did she have to die so fast?

The questions burned in Emilia’s mind, sharp as the ice growing between them.

The cold was nothing compared to the fury and pain that froze her heart.

The air shifted.

And there lay Rem… untouched by Emilia.

Almost as if it was how she looked before Emilia even entered.

But this didn’t anger Emilia.

Only a cruel smile formed on her lips.

“Die.”

Her voice barely more than a whisper, yet the word carried weight beyond sound.

And then…. 

It began.

The first death was swift…. a crack, a shatter. 

Then the air shifted.

And Rem’s chest still rose. The icy shards faded, only to bloom anew.

Again and again.

Each death more brutal than the last, tearing through fragile flesh, freezing breath, and cracking bone.

Emilia’s rage fueled the cycle, a furious heartbeat echoing through the cold.

Yet she remained unaware. Lost in pain, in jealousy, in the desperate craving to erase what had never truly been hers.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I watch.
Silent.
Behind her.

Her Authority stirs…. chaotic, unrefined. But potent.

One that, in time, may even brush against the edges of mine.

How delightful.

To erase a recent choice someone made...
So long as she was present…
So long as it was an intended action by the person doing it…
The timeline bends to her desire.
Unfolds itself anew, obediently.

And yet….
She alone remembers what came before.

How lonely that must be.
How exquisite.

She holds that power now.
Alongside Sloth.
Just like he did.

Before he left this timeline behind…..
Skipping stones through suffering, from one broken reality to the next.

But she, unlike him, is still here.
And she is cracking.

Sloth whispers that her failures are others' fault.
That she suffered because the world is cruel…
Not because she simply did not try hard enough.

And Envy…
Ah, sweet Envy….
Teaches her to hurt for what she cannot possess.
To ache for love, for warmth, for him.

Together, they do not create resolution.
They do not teach her to overcome.

No.

They weave something far more enduring.
Something far more useful.

Despair.

Ah… despair.
So elegant. So still.

Her Authority unravels the past.
Her heart rejects the present.
And now-
Her wish, that impossible, painful wish…
May finally be attained.

In this timeline that birthed it,

She will make a fine tool.

A fine tool to make Natsuki Subaru return.

Return to this timeline—
A place where he no longer holds domain over his Authority.
A place where he no longer has help from Satella.

A timeline where he can be trapped.
Where the spiral of his creation of timelines breaks.

All that remains is the blood.
The dragon’s blood slumbering in the capital..
and the sacrament of the Immortal King.

Together, they form the gateway.
The key to reach across timelines and drag him back.

To this one.
To the one he fled.
To the one he tried to leave behind.

And once he is here…
With the power of the Archbishop of Despair…
this timeline will become the perfect snare.

A cage of frost and longing.
A closed world, sealed in stillness.
A future rewritten.

To erase Natsuki Subaru from every timeline.

To ensure he can never create another.

To trap him—

In this Cold Despair.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                                                   1 year later

Just as that woman said, the attack on Priestella came.

And just as the Gospel told her, Blue would be in a desperate struggle to heal his mistress.

And just as she wanted, she freed him from his struggle in exchange for his assistance.

Just as that woman said,  the capital was weakened. The main forces were drawn far west, swallowed up by the battle in Priestella, now the Witch Cult city.

And just as the Gospel told her, her new attack would wipe out all living things in the capital.

And just as she wanted, she was able to obtain the dragon’s blood with ease.

Just as that woman said, she only had to wait for this outcome.

And just as the Gospel told her, her Subaru was revived with the combination of the blood and sacrament.

And just as she wanted, she used her Authority on her Subaru , so that he would never leave her again.
Every choice to leave he might have made….. erased.
Every question too dangerous….. gone and ignored.
Every action, decision, expression, that was not desirable…….. destroyed.

And just as both Pandora and the Gospel said,
she sealed him in silence.

With her.

Nothing to complain about at all.

Chapter Text

"Do not forget that when you die, it makes people sad......"

The moment those words reached him, something deep in the world gave way. It wasn’t a noise he could describe, but it felt like the sky had cracked and the ground trembled beneath him.

Satella’s voice grew faint, slipping away like a dream trying to escape the grasp of morning. Yet, even as she faded, her presence tore into Subaru’s chest with painful intensity. The warmth of her palm in his hand was all that kept him grounded. That heat told him not to let go. That he shouldn’t. That he mustn’t.

"I…"

He tried to call to her. He wanted to answer. But no words came. His throat felt tight, like the sound itself had been stolen away.

He couldn’t bring himself to say her name. Not out loud.

If he did, it would mean accepting her. It would mean surrendering to the part of him that longed to say yes. To give in. But he knew… deep down… that he couldn’t allow that.

His chest burned. His thoughts tangled.

Above, the heavens fell. Below, the earth shattered. Light surged in every direction, and the place they had been in only seconds before was swept away in silence and brilliance.

The witches were no longer there. The dream was unraveling. All that remained was him and the girl in front of him.

Time didn’t move. Nothing did. It was as if everything had paused just for them.

And then, as if the curtain over his mind had been pulled aside, the truth became visible. The part of him that had been hiding what he didn’t want to face was stripped away. There was no more pretending. Only clarity.

When he looked down, he saw her.

Her silver hair drifted gently, and her violet eyes, heavy with emotion, locked onto his. She looked at him through tears. Not tears of hatred. Not of wrath. But of deep, aching sorrow.

"And someday…. you will come to kill me, yes?"

Her voice was soft, yet it struck like a knife.

And then she disappeared.

She was gone, as if she had never been there at all. The world faded completely, and nothing of her remained.

Nothing except the fading warmth in his hand.

He stared down at his trembling fingers, clinging to that one last sensation before it vanished too.

".....I will save you. You’ll see."

The words slipped out, not as a vow to the girl he had seen, but to the one he couldn’t see anymore. The one he would never forget.

The silence lingered.

There was no sky. No ground. Only the hollow echo of his voice and the fading warmth in his hand. The words he had spoken—meant for someone no longer there—still trembled on his lips.

But then, something changed.

A breath touched his face.

His lashes fluttered, reacting instinctively. His heart, still aching from the vision, skipped a beat as he realized something warm was pressing against his mouth.

A kiss.

His eyes opened.

The dream, the trial, the witches, everything had collapsed into nothing. And now, reality bled in at the edges, carrying a sense of cold clarity. Light leaked through his half-lidded gaze. He saw snow, frost, and something bright.

A face too familiar.

Violet eyes, staring into him with trembling devotion.

For a moment, his mind refused to process what he was seeing. His body was slow to catch up. His thoughts still hung on the vision of the woman who had vanished.

But the one kissing him now…

Had shorter hair.

Her lips pulled back just slightly. Just enough to breathe the same air. Her breath trembled as if afraid he might slip away again.

She looked like her.

So much like her.

But she wasn't.

"Subaru…" the girl whispered.

Her voice cracked with emotion… thick, shaking, reverent. Tears clung to her lashes. Not tears of panic or confusion, but of overwhelming relief. Relief so strong it bordered on madness.

"You came back to me…"

Her hand was still pressed tightly to his. Just like Satella’s.

But this wasn’t the dark void of the tomb. This was the waking world. Or something like it.

His pulse quickened. His thoughts snapped back into place. A dozen questions surged to his lips, but none of them made it out. His gaze locked on hers.

Emilia.

But something was wrong.

The look in her eyes. The way her smile lingered too long. The way she seemed to be waiting…. not for him to speak, but for him to accept. To understand. To stay.

The kiss had not been a greeting.

It had been a claim.

He blinked, once, slowly. Still too stunned to speak.

And still, she smiled.

"You didn’t leave like last time," she whispered, brushing her fingers across his cheek as if confirming he was real.

Subaru’s breath caught. "...What do you mean, last time?"

The words slipped out before he could stop them.

That smile twitched.

Something turned behind her eyes… something unreadable. But she didn’t answer.

The gears began to spin in his mind.

Last time?

The last time he’d kissed Emilia was... what? A gentle moment. Something he’d initiated…. for her sake, not his. A reassurance. A promise. A small comfort in the middle of everything falling apart. There had been warmth in it. Affection. But no expectation. No demand.

Not like this.

Not like now.

This kiss had been different.

No. Wait.

That wasn’t right.

This wasn’t right.

“I must have slipped up,” she muttered.

His pupils dilated. A shimmer of light flickered across her irises.

A heartbeat passed.

Emilia was going to activate it. Her Authority.

And then…..

CRASH.

The sound of breaking ice shattered the silence.

Subaru rolled violently off her lap. His back slammed into the edge of the bed before tumbling to the floor with a jarring crack. Frost bloomed across the ground where his shoulder hit.

The warmth was gone.

He gasped.

Not from pain, but from the cold.

The room, dim and blue-toned, pulsed with creeping chill. The floor was glazed in a sheet of frost that hadn’t been there before.

He scrambled back, breath catching in the clouds.

Emilia sat above him, her hands folded neatly in her lap. Her expression hadn’t changed. 

Subaru stood up, his breath shallow.

"What do you mean, last time?" he shouted, louder than he intended.

Emilia didn’t answer. Her smile twitched, but she said nothing. Instead, she moved slightly, as if preparing to invoke something. 

His eyes dropped.

There, on his body, just like when he woke up, was a guard uniform. Torn. Stained deep with blood that had only recently dried.

Subaru’s mouth moved on its own.

"I… didn’t return by death."

The words came out quiet. Barely a whisper.

Then came the realization. His heart. The squeeze. The agony. The death.

He braced for it.

But it didn’t come.

No pain. No death. No grip of the Witch.

Only silence.
And Emilia, still watching him, her violet eyes soft and full of something he couldn’t name.

“Return… by… death…?”

She repeated the phrase without thinking, almost absentmindedly.
The glow of her Authority dulled as she paused to process what he had said. If it turned into something dangerous, she could always try to remove it. She had that power now. 

The moment those words left her mouth, Subaru’s pupils dilated.

How…

Why…

Why can I talk about it…

His thoughts spiraled, dread rising in his throat. His breath caught, his heartbeat stumbling. This wasn’t possible. It had never been possible.

And Emilia….
She looked confused.

Not concerned. Not afraid. Just… puzzled. Like she had never heard of it before.

Subaru wasn’t thinking straight. His mind was unraveling. She could see it in his eyes.

He might do something reckless.

She had to calm him down.
Like he always did for her.
She needed to make him feel safe again.

So she smiled.
And she reached toward him.

“Subaru… it’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid.”

Subaru flinched. He moved back from her hand, a quiet instinct warning him before his mind caught up.

“Emilia… what do you mean I didn’t leave like last time?”

His voice shook. His breath came quicker.

“Emilia… What happened in the Sanctuary?”

He wasn’t thinking clearly anymore.
His heart pounded against his chest, too loud in his ears.
He was trying to solve the puzzle. Not to understand. Not to reason.
He was doing it because he was afraid.

And fear didn’t make choices.
Fear reacted.
Just like the Forsaken Tiger fought with nothing but rage.

That was the flaw in her Authority.

She couldn’t erase something that wasn’t a decision.
She couldn’t overwrite instinct.

And Subaru was no longer thinking.
He was surviving.

He had to check. Had to make sure this wasn’t real, that the creeping suspicion clawing up his spine was just paranoia, that he wasn’t trapped again.

He tried to summon Invisible Providence, the Authority of sloth.

But nothing came.

It was like it was never there in the first place

“No…” The word slipped out of him, strangled and hollow.

His pupils widened, swallowing the color from his gaze. A chill deeper than the ice in the room gripped his chest.

He took a step back. Then another. His heel bumped against the doorframe behind him, but his eyes never left her.

She was still sitting there, still watching him, still smiling.

Subaru looked at her black dress. It was eerily similar to Satella’s.

No….

The pieces clicked for Subaru.

She can’t possibly be. She can’t possibly be. She can’t possibly have my Authorities.

His heart pounded like a war drum. That would be why he hadn’t been able to fight, why he hadn’t made progress since coming here, why no one was coming, why he was stuck.

His body trembled.

Had she taken them? Had she stolen them? 

Can she use Return by Death too?

But that doesn’t make sense. It shouldn’t make sense. It can’t make sense.

But why?

But how?

But he had no answers.

And the woman sitting across from him, the one with Emilia’s face and voice, wasn’t explaining.

Was it even Emilia?

Subaru’s fingers brushed the cold doorknob behind him.

He couldn’t stay here. He wouldn’t stay here.

Because if she really had his powers, if she had his authority’s, then that meant Subaru no longer had them. And that this is a world in which he died. A possible present that Echidna theorized. A place where he shouldn't be.

This was a world where he’d once died.

A world he left when he used to return by death.

And that made him scared.

And that made him want to flee.

“Subaru wait….”

Before Emilia could say another word Subaru dashed out of the door.

She had done it now.

She should have acted sooner.

Used her Authority the moment he started slipping.

But it was too late. His fear had already taken root. He wasn’t making decisions anymore, he was reacting.

And now… he was scared of her.

But that wasn’t right. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

He didn’t mean it. He couldn’t have meant it.

Subaru wasn’t thinking properly. He was just confused. Just scared of something else. Not her. Never her.

That’s what Emilia told herself.

That’s what she believed.

Because if he was scared of her, that would mean something was wrong. And nothing was wrong. Everything was fine now. Everything was perfect. He was back, and he was safe, and she had made it all better. Nothing to complain about at all.

So he couldn’t really be afraid of her.

He just forgot.

He forgot how much she loved him. Forgot everything she’d done to protect him. To bring him back.

But that was okay.

She could remind him.

She would remind him.

Even if he ran away.

Even if he screamed.

She would fix it.

She would stop him before he did something foolish. Before he broke things again. Before he hurt himself again.

He didn’t know what was best for him.

But she did.

So she smiled…. soft, sweet, and full of love…. and ran after Subaru.

Chapter Text

"Subaru, wait."

Emilia ran out of her room after him.
Her voice rang like silver bells. Beautiful, even now. Especially now. The voice of the person he loved calling out for him.

Subaru’s foot froze mid-step.

He could still feel her behind him... that warmth that shouldn’t be threatening, that smile that shouldn’t feel wrong. That name on her lips, spoken just like always. Almost exactly like always.

His body wanted to run. His instincts screamed it.
But part of him... paused.

What if this is a misunderstanding?

The thought slipped in like a whisper.

What if she’s not lying?

He gritted his teeth.

What if she wasn’t part of the witch cult.

What if nothing went wrong?

It was Emilia.

Wasn’t it?

His breath caught in his throat. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the stair’s rail.

No. That wasn’t right. His gut told him that wasn’t her. That wasn’t the face she made.

That smile, it wasn’t kind. It was too perfect. Like something trying to imitate love. Like something that didn’t understand fear. Something that didn’t know why he was afraid, only that he shouldn't be.

Like a doll told to smile.
Like someone who had memorized the lines but forgotten the meaning.

And that voice. The way she said his name, trying to call him back to a place he wasn’t sure he could return to.

His heartbeat pounded in his ears.

“Subaru, I’m sorry to hear that you're scared. Please... come back. I’ll fix everything.”

Emilia's voice carried that soft insistence, the kind meant to convince, not plead. 

She hadn’t answered any of his questions. She hasn’t explained her outfit, She hasn’t mentioned what happened to me or this place, She hasn’t explained where the others are, She hasn't explained anything. She just smiled.

And the way she smiled...

Subaru swallowed hard, and took another step down the stairs. Retreating, trembling.

"Say something real," he whispered. "Say something only she would say. Say something you didn’t rehearse."

Because if she was really Emilia, really his Emilia, She would stop smiling, even just for a second.

She’d look worried. She’d yell at him for being stupid.
She wouldn’t chase him like that smile meant everything was okay.
And she wouldn’t be quiet.

He couldn’t stop the trembling. His foot finally hit the next step.

Emilia walks closer to him.

But Subaru kept moving.

He had made the decision to try to figure out what was going on.

Making that decision was his mistake.

The air shifted.

Subaru was still on top of the staircase.
He hadn’t taken a step down the stairs yet.
Still thinking about whether or not to trust “Emilia”.

He didn’t know it yet, but the choice had already been taken from him.

Her authority had worked.

The moment he decided to take the next step, she erased that decision.
Trimmed it out like a flaw in the story.
Because he had made a clear, conscious choice. And choices could be undone.

Now he stood there again, right where she wanted him.

All she had to do was finish it.
Convince him. Coax him. Smile the way he remembered.
Or if that failed...
Take the next step for him. Bringing him back with her.

Either way, he was hers again.
As long as he kept making choices instead of running.

She could be the one to push forward.

To erase.

To correct.

“Subaru,” she started again, voice soft with careful affection.
But the rest caught in her throat.
She had to get it right this time.
If she overused her authority she would lose her sense of time.

“Subaru, I’m not mad at you,” she said, taking another step forward.
“Just come back. Please.”

She didn’t ask for forgiveness.
Didn’t mention what he’d seen.
As if none of it mattered.
As if she didn’t know the issue.

And all he had to do was believe it.

But Subaru couldn’t.
So he took another step.

The air shifted.

What Emilia just said didn’t work that time.
So she would just have to try again.
And again.
Until he decided to come back.
Or she got close enough to bring him.

“Subaru,” she repeated, sweet and steady, like nothing had changed.

“If you come back, I promise we can go on a ‘date’ after you settle down.”

Yet he still took another step.

The air shifted again.

Emilia was starting to lose track of what she’d already said. She was overusing her authority.

“Subaru,” she said with a fake, practiced sob. “Please don’t leave me.”

Subaru didn’t understand why he let her close the distance, but those words hurt his heart.

“I’m sorry, I need to find out what’s going on.”
He took another step.

The air shifted.

Emilia felt a flicker of panic.

“Subaru, I can support you through whatever is troubling you.”

He still didn’t know why he hadn’t moved yet. Listening to her felt dangerous, but he couldn’t ignore her either.

She was closing in quickly now.

So he took another step.

The air shifted.

By now, Emilia was nearly within arm’s reach.

She had lost count of how many times she had erased his choices, her head feeling like its splitting it two, but now she was only a few steps away from him.

Her voice softened, trembling with something fragile beneath her words.

“I can’t let you wander off like you did back then. I’m stronger now…. better than I was before. So please, don’t leave me again.”

Subaru hesitated, his breath caught between fear and something else he couldn’t quite name.

He glanced back at her, at the woman who looked so much like the Emilia he once knew. Or at least a Emilia he once knew.

“It... can't be,” he whispered.

She couldn’t possibly mean what he thought she did.

But then it clicked.

All at once, everything fell into place.

He turned and bolted down the stairs.

He had to find a solution.

This couldn’t be real.

It had to be some illusion.
Some kind of trial, like the ones in the Sanctuary.

Some unthinkable present.
He needed to wake up.
He needed to escape.

He ran from her.

“Wait!” Emilia cried out behind him.

But she couldn’t catch up. Not like this. Not in her current state. 

So she resorted to her least favorite ability.

A black hand tore itself out from her chest.

It lashed forward, reaching across the space between them and grabbed Subaru just before he vanished from view.

He twisted back, eyes wide.

There was no one behind him.
No figure chasing him.

Yet something had him by the collar of the knight’s uniform he wore.

Something he couldn’t see.

But it felt real. Cold and tight.

Like a hand.

An invisible hand.

“Subaru...” Emilia gasped, straining through the pain.

Splat.

Something hit the floor.

“No,” Subaru said.

“It can’t be.”

But it made too much sense.

And it felt too real.

Emilia had invisible providence .
His authority.

And Subaru can’t use his.

That meant she had taken it. Somehow.

Subaru didn’t know the details.
But he had a guess.

And that guess terrified him more than anything else.

He recoiled, shoving himself away from her.
His body moved before his thoughts could catch up.
He had to go.
Anywhere.
Do anything.
He didn’t know what. He didn’t know how.
But he had to fix this.

So he ran.

“Wait…” Emilia called out, but the weight of using sloth hit her all at once.
She collapsed to her knees.

This was the worst possible outcome.

She could no longer erase Subaru running away here.
Subaru had acted on impulse.
Irrational. Fear-driven.

He had not seen the invisible hand.
But he knew of it.
And now he was afraid of her.

It must have reminded him of the Archbishop he once defeated.

“Guess I shouldn’t use Sloth next time,” Emilia whispered, voice dry and bitter.

She stood up, slow and unsteady.
And she followed him.
Her face darkened by disappointment.

She had failed again.

Down the stairs, at the far end of the hall, she caught a glimpse of Subaru.
Still running.

But that was enough.
A single sight.
A fixed point in her mind.

With a surge of effort, she reached out to a more distant event.

The air shifted.

Subaru’s crashed to the ground.

Footsteps.

Emilia approached quietly.

She looked down at his limp form, eyes tired, lips pressed in a frown.

“Looks like you left me again.”

She knelt down, gathered his unresponsive body in her arms, and began the walk back to the room.

Now there was Something to Complain About.

Chapter Text

Subaru’s eyes snapped open with a jolt.

I’d been watching him for some time now, waiting for that moment.

The first thing he said made my heart stir. “An unfamiliar ceiling.” His voice was hoarse, brittle, like the cold had already seeped deep into him. I almost reached for his hand right then, but stopped, my fingers curling back.

He flinched when the chill fully hit him, his breath clouding in the air between us. I could hear the faint tremor in his words. “Where am I? And why is it so damn cold?”

Whenever he would wake up he never liked the cold. I wanted to watch him take it in. To see him realize where he was… who he was with.

His eyes wandered over the room. I always make sure it’s beautiful, large, with the curtains pulled just enough for the pale light to spill through. Still, the air was cold. That was good. I needed him to stay close.

His gaze moved slowly, searching. I waited.

Finally, he noticed me. His voice cracked as he blurted, “Emilia!”. The reason why I waited. The way he said my name, so quickly, so desperately, sent a strange shiver through me.

I turned my head toward him, deliberately slow, letting my hair shift just barely near my ears. Maybe, if I tried to speak just a little differently, just enough to remind him of her, he would look at me the way he used to… The same way he looked at her. I gave him a smile, soft but steady.

“Yes,” I said, keeping my voice gentle. “That’s right, Subaru… it’s me… your Emilia.”

I went for a bolder approach this time. I thought about how I heard how that girl used to call herself to him before she was eaten. Maybe, if I did the same, he might grow closer to me.

Something in her voice sent a shiver down his spine, a dissonance that didn’t belong. Her smile was gentle, but it had a strange quality to it, like a mask she was wearing just for him. Her hair, so much shorter than he remembered, fell around her shoulders in a way that felt… off. It was a style more reminiscent of Rem than Emilia.

Subaru blinked rapidly, his thoughts scattered as he pushed himself up to a sitting position. That’s when he noticed something else. His clothes weren’t his usual; instead of his familiar jacket, he wore what could only be described as a butler’s uniform. It was old, worn, patched in places, with stains he didn’t recognize. His brow furrowed in confusion.

I remembered how he questioned the knight’s outfit last time, so I thought this would help. Something to remind him of the time we used to spend together.

“Uh, Emilia... did you change my clothes while I was out?” he asked, his voice rough. He scratched his cheek, awkwardly. “And seriously, where are we?”

Emilia said nothing for a long moment. Her amethyst eyes locked onto his, deep and unwavering, but not with the same warmth he was accustomed to. No, her gaze was colder now, laced with something he couldn’t quite place, something unsettling.

Before he could ask again, a biting chill pressed against his skin, the cold somehow even more suffocating than before. The room felt even stiller, like it was holding its breath. And yet, despite the creeping dread that began to gnaw at him, Subaru forced himself to stand, his legs trembling as he moved toward her.

As if on cue, Emilia stood too, her movements deliberate, almost rehearsed. Before Subaru could process what was happening, she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into an embrace.

"I’ve missed you, Subaru," she whispered, the words sweet, but carrying a weight of something darker, something heavier.

Subaru froze, his heart racing as her warmth enveloped him, contrasting violently with the icy air. She smelled like something floral, sweet, yet sharp, like perfume that was just a little too strong, a little too invasive. His breath caught in his throat as his body tensed in her hold.

Something’s wrong. Subaru thought, the unease in his gut now twisting into a knot. This wasn’t the Emilia he knew, not even close. This warmth, this affection, was too much, too sudden. It suffocated him.

Subaru let out a nervous chuckle, raising his arms hesitantly to return the hug. “I-I missed you too, I guess…? But, uh, where exactly is ‘here’? Why did you cut your hair? And why is it so cold?”  

Emilia didn’t answer right away. Instead, she simply nuzzled against his shoulder, breathing in as if to commit his scent to memory. Subaru tensed at the sensation, it was more intimate than he was used to from her.  

If she spoke now, he might pull away. Doing this, staying silent, had given her the best results so far.

After a moment, she finally pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, her amethyst eyes practically glowing in the dim light of the room. “You always ask so many questions, Subaru.”  

Subaru blinked, his head spinning. "Uh, yeah? Because I like knowing what’s going on?"

She giggled, but there was something off about it, too airy, too rehearsed. “That’s just like you.” 

He swallowed. “Uh, right,” he said, trying to force a chuckle. “So… where are we, exactly?”

“You don’t have to worry about that right now.” Her voice was like a lullaby, soothing, but hollow. “Just rest. You must be so tired after everything.”

He looked at me like he didn’t understand. Of course he didn’t. That was the point.

He was trembling, and that wouldn’t do. I couldn’t let him shiver like that, not when I could make it better. I took his hand in mine and gave it a gentle pull.

“Wait, wait!” he said, stammering over his words. He always did that when he tried to keep up with me. It was cute

Before he could finish his excuse, I pulled him down into the blankets, wrapping myself around him. His body was warm, but I wanted more. I pressed closer, listening to the sound of his heartbeat under my ear.

“There,” I told him, and it was the truth. “Much better.”

He froze like I thought he might, caught between wanting to relax and wanting to run. I could feel it in him.

“…Y-you know, Emilia-tan,” he stammered, his voice tight, “you’re acting kinda weird.”

I tilted my head just enough to meet his eyes. “Am I?” I asked, though I already knew what I was doing.

“Yes!” he said, like it was a bad thing. “This is way too much. It’s like maximum Emilia affection! I haven’t even said anything dumb yet!”

I laughed softly. I love how he acts during these iterations. He thought I needed a reason.

“I just missed you, Subaru,” I whispered, letting the truth slip out in a way he couldn’t mistake. “Isn’t it okay to show it?”

He didn’t answer right away. That was fine. Sometimes he needed time to understand. But I could feel him slipping, pulling away in his head, and I couldn’t allow that.

“I love you,” I told him.

Because it was true. Because it was all that mattered.

Finally, I had Subaru back.

There was no longer Something to Complain About.

Subaru was back again.



A few hours later.



I kept my breathing even, feigning the heaviness of sleep. Subaru shifted in my arms, his warmth pressing against my side. For a moment, I almost tightened my hold on him. But no—if I clung too soon, he would only start asking questions again.

So I let him slip free.

The bed dipped and creaked as he stood. I could hear the faint shiver in his steps, the soft drag of his fingers along the desk as he passed it. He went for the window, just as I knew he would.

I didn’t open my eyes, but I could picture the way he froze when he saw it. The snow. The frost. The capital outside. The white swallowing everything.

Better that he saw with his own eyes now, rather than hearing it from my lips or seeing it after I try to hide it from him. If he thought he’d discovered it on his own without me trying to hide it, he wouldn’t go into a panic and cause a reset. I had to face that before.

His breath hitched, a sound soft but sharp, like a crack in glass.

He muttered my name, whispering something, and I waited, letting the silence stretch.

When he finally turned away from the window, his face was pale, frightened.

I opened my eyes slowly, blinking as if just waking for real. My gaze settled on him, soft and tired.

“Subaru…” I murmured, voice light and calm. “Why did you leave me?”

There was no urgency in my words, no hint of the world outside. Just a quiet, almost hurt question. A lover upset at being abandoned over something small.

He stammered, trying to tell me about the frozen capital, but I cut him off with a small smile.

“Why are you so panicked?” I asked gently.. “Everything’s fine now. There’s nothing to worry about.”

I reached for his hands, cool and sure. I held them as if to ground him, to pull him back from the edge of his fear.

He tried to recoil.

But I expected this.

And activated my authority so that didn’t happen either.

I watched him, feeling the tension coil through his body like a storm beneath calm waters. My thumb traced slow circles on the back of his hand, my voice soft and steady, almost hypnotic. “You’re so worried. But you don’t have to be. I told you already, didn’t I? Everything is fine.”

My words drifted like a lullaby, smooth and inviting, but beneath them lay something cold, empty. I could feel him stiffen in my grip, the warmth of my skin sending a shiver down his spine, not comfort, but something else entirely.

When he finally looked up, pleading, I curled my fingers tighter around his wrist, whispering with a strange reverence, “I saved you, Subaru. I brought you back. And now… we can be together.”

I saw his breath hitch, the weight of my words settling deep within him like a stone dragging him under. His eyes searched mine, confused and terrified, barely able to speak. Before he could react, my hold tightened, just enough to hold him in place.

Then, a sharp knock at the door shattered the silence. His breath caught again. I felt the flicker of irritation cross my face, lips tightening into a small frown as I finally released him.

I plan for him to come. It gives me a good opportunity to use my authority on Subaru and distract from the situation. But it still annoys me.

Without waiting for him, I moved quickly to the door.

I stood by the door, watching Subaru’s tense figure as he tried to make sense of everything. His fear, confusion, it was all so vivid. When I opened the door, my voice was soft, sweet, but beneath it lay a quiet edge that made his skin crawl.

“Come in.”

From his spot, Subaru couldn’t see who stepped inside or what I said next. I let Felix enter, the knight who once stood proud as the healer “Blue”. But now… he was broken. His posture slumped, his golden eyes dim and hollow, his clothes ragged and worn like he’d been through hell and back. The sight of him should have comforted Subaru, but instead, it seemed to deepen his dread.

Felix’s gaze briefly met Subaru’s, then flicked away. He spoke in a hushed, broken whisper like he always did:
“…So the sacrament does work.”

Subaru’s chest tightened, panic rising as he demanded answers. Felix flinched, as if my presence alone could silence him. I stepped forward, voice sharp yet smooth.
“That’s enough.”

Letting this go on for too long will cause another reset.

Felix’s body stiffened instantly, as if controlled by strings I pulled. Subaru’s stomach twisted at the sight of the strong knight reduced to fear and submission.

“What do you want?”
I spoke again, knowing the answer.

Felix’s trembling hands whispered,
“I did what you asked. Now… please. Lady Crusch…”

He sought the cure for his mistress. That was the bargain. He used the Sacrament of the Immortal King on Subaru, and in return, I would command Capella to undo her condition.

I smiled, unblinking, unyielding.
“Take her to the Witch Cult’s city. I’ll inform Capella to undo her condition.”

The words slammed into Subaru like a crushing blow. It wouldn’t matter though.

Felix hesitated at the door, locking eyes with Subaru for a single, endless moment, an expression heavy with sorrow, pity, and something darker still. Then he was gone.

He would never complete his goal.

The silence that followed was suffocating.

Subaru’s breath was ragged as he slowly backed away, eyes wide with desperation.
“…Witch Cult’s city,” he repeated shakily. “How do you know Capella?”

I tilted my head, a smile playing at my lips, sweet but deeply unsettling.
“Subaru,” I said softly, stepping closer, my fingers tracing his wrist, cold to the touch, like ice sliding over skin. His gaze was trapped, caught in the depths of my violet eyes, now devoid of the warmth he once knew. It was as if I was no longer just Emilia.

Every instinct screamed at him to flee. But I held him.

He was in a state where if he did any action out of fear, it could not be undone by me.

However,

The air shifted.

If whatever held him in this state hadn’t occurred, then he wouldn’t be trapped.

All I had to do was make it so he never went to check the door.

Then he wouldn’t know it was Felix.

He also wouldn’t know why he didn’t check.

And wouldn’t leave me.

“Uhhh… Emilia-tan, who was at the door? What did they say?” His voice was rough, urgent.

I smiled, brushing off his questions.
“That’s not important now, Subaru.”

He needed answers, needed to find the others.
“Where is everyone? Beatrice, Roswaal, Otto, Garfiel, Frederica, Rem?”

At the mention of Rem, I remembered not to flinch this time.

“I…. Emilia, stay here. I have to go.” He moved to leave.

I removed that choice.

Last time that might have been the snowball that caused the avalanche.

Or as Subaru would say it.

The butterfly that caused a tornado.

If I changed only small things with every reset,

I would eventually reach the best outcome.

One where neither of us had anything to complain about at all.

I seized his wrist, my grip firm but almost gentle.

My smile was the same, but now it didn’t reach my eyes.

“You don’t have to worry anymore, Subaru,” I murmured, my voice a cold caress, distant and calm. “Just stay with me.”

Those words settled into his bones like ice, wrapping around his heart with a slow, cruel despair.

He opened his mouth, but no words came.

And I held his wrist as I stared into his wonderful eyes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As she holds him.

Tender. Loving.

But it isn’t real.

It’s a cage.

A pretense.

I know what this means.

A new reset begins.

Again.

Emilia’s Authority.

A power unlike any other.

To reach back into the past and erase a decision.

At first, it was small. Almost insignificant.

Barely erase a single moment. A single lift of a finger. 

But with every activation, the reach grew longer.

Seconds spilled into minutes.

Minutes stretched into hours.

Hours bled into days.

If she was present when a choice was made,

She could undo it.

Make it as if it never existed.

If she never brought Felix to Subaru,

Subaru wouldn’t have “come back.” Or at least, that’s what she would call it.

If Subaru never came back,

Felix would never have completed the deal.

If Felix never completed the deal,

he would come back.

He would try again to complete the deal for his mistress sake..

And if Felix came back to try,

then Subaru would return.

She could mend every flaw in him. Age, scars, wounds, each healed by the dragon’s blood. Nothing broken beyond her reach.

That was all she needed.

That was all it took.

Only when something went wrong that she couldn't easily fix.

She would have to erase the completion of the deal.

Subaru would “leave”.

The deal would be done again.

And Subaru would come back.

No memories remained of what had happened.

No trace of the frozen wasteland he had wandered.

No memory of the Cold Despair.

No recollection of the moments he was attacked.

No memory of the times he abandoned her.

No remembrance of the laughter we shared.

It was all wiped away.

Clean.

Blank.

For the Archbishop of Despair: Emilia Natsuki,

this would give her Something to Complain About.

But for the Witch of Vainglory.

for me.

having Subaru trapped here, locked in this cycle,

My world.

My constant.

My anchor in the endless dark.

This loop is my sanctuary.

Each reset is a refinement.

Each cycle is more complete than the last.

Subaru is caught.

There is no kindness here.

No love.

Only control, veiled in affection.

A prison wrapped in a smile.

There is no freedom.

Every time he tries to flee.

She would tighten her grip.

Every time something comes loose.

She would screw it back in place.

She erases what challenges her.

And in this endless loop,

The true horror isn’t death.

It’s the slow loss of self.

A death far crueler than any blade.

It’s forgetting who you are.

Again and again.

Until there is nothing left.

Nothing for him.

Nothing for her.

Because she holds the key.

Just like she did all those years ago.

I will not lose again.

No matter what it costs.

No matter what it breaks.

The architect of his world.

The keeper of his soul.

And if that means they forget.

Forgets everything they were, everything they dreamed…

Then so be it.

Because for me…

the Witch of Vainglory…

This is nothing to complain about at all .