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Chapter Text

My father produced the most dangerous weapons. I was one of them.  

The thought was all that Evelyn Monroe knew. It was the only bit of reality from her past that she understood. She didn’t even know her name was Evelyn Monroe, she couldn’t remember it, she couldn’t remember that she had a name. She could only remember that thought, she was one of her father’s weapons. 

She didn’t know who her father was, she didn’t know which one of her handlers was her own flesh and blood. 

She couldn’t remember anything from the Before. But the After, oh she could remember everything from the After.

She couldn’t remember emerging from the transformation pod, she couldn’t remember the serum flooding her veins. She couldn’t remember the agents gasping as they stared at her. 

“It worked!” One of the soldiers gasped. “I can’t believe Commander Monroe actually did it.”

“Did what?” She asked, and then she looked down at her legs and arms fading in and out of sight.

“He added to the super serum,” one of them responded, much to her surprise.

She could feel the strength the serum gave her, but she could also feel this new power flooding her bones. She could feel this new part of her body, something that she could pull on that would make her disappear. 

After, a man walked in. “Commander Monroe told us to wipe her and begin training with the Winter Soldier.”

“Yes, sir.”

She was grabbed and dragged out of the room into the next and forced into a chair. She was strapped in and a mouthguard was shoved into her mouth. She gagged immediately and tried to spit it out, but someone slapped duct tape over her mouth. Then her head was pushed back and two metal plates started to rotate towards her, she didn’t know what they were and she tried to squirm away. 

She was unsuccessful.

The second they touched her face, the pain in her brain was immediate, and the mouthguard made sense.

Her mind blanked the rest of it out.

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The After was everything after that moment, the After was everything she could remember.

She woke up to soldiers unstrapping her body to a chair, and someone pulling the mouthguard out of her mouth.

“I’m glad you’re awake,” a man in a black uniform said. “You are the Shadow Mercenary, your partner is the Winter Soldier, and you are the property of Hydra.”

“Yes, sir,” she replied, his words having complete power over her.

His smile was oily and evil, “Good, now, let’s meet your partner.”

He led her into a grey room. It was empty except for the man standing in the middle of it. He wore a black vest with a right sleeve, the other side had no sleeve and a metal arm with a red star was in its place. His dark hair hung just above shoulder length, his face obscured by a black mask and dark smudged eyeliner surrounded his eyes. They made eye contact, his blue eyes met her brown ones and all she could see in his eyes was emptiness. 

“This is the Winter Soldier, he will train you on everything and then you will begin missions together,” the officer said, before he turned around and walked out. 

She didn’t even get a chance to introduce herself before the Winter Soldier attacked her. She was barely fast enough to avoid a punch right to her face, spinning away with reflexes she didn’t know she had.

He threw another punch and she dodged. He threw another, and another, and another. One after another and she kept spinning around them until she was backed into a corner. He raised his hand to hit her and then she felt for that thing in her bones, that thing that felt unnatural in her body and she pulled. 

The man paused, unsure of what just happened and she slipped away. Except he felt her slip past and grabbed her body blindly and slammed it into the wall.

Then she heard him speak for the first time–his voice was rough and quiet in her ear, “So that’s what makes you different from the others.”

“The others?” She whispered, allowing her body to flicker back into visibility. 

“There’s many that have received the super serum, but none have been appointed my partner, none have been mission approved.”

“I don’t have any training though.”

“Did you go through the machine?”

She knew immediately what he meant by the machine, “Yes.”

“Then you are under their control, and have been given fighting instincts and training.”

“Then why am I here?”

“Because people tend to go insane after the machine, only a select few don’t and I’m here to put down the ones that do.” The man finally released her, stepping back from her. 

He walked over to the door and banged twice, the officer from before appeared and let them out. He led them to some giant tanks and gestured for them to enter, she did so without thought, her body moving before her mind. 

The machine closed around her and cold steam rushed in and her body started to freeze, and then everything went dark.

Chapter Text

The Shadow Mercenary slid her blade out of a random man’s chest, wiping it clean on his shirt. She turned to the Winter Soldier watching him slip his blades back into their sheaths. They were finally alone, bodies were scattered at their feet. They quickly grabbed the secret intel they had been sent to steal and snuck out of the bunker, riding away on identical motorcycles. 

When the Shadow Mercenary was finally back on base and fully debriefed she walked into her room, her prison, and stared at herself in the mirror. She wore a tight jumpsuit with padded armor covering everything, blades hidden everywhere on her body. Twin blades peaked up over her shoulders and she pulled them out of the back sheaths to start to clean them. 

She focused on wiping the blood off and ignored the way her jumpsuit was stiff with dried blood. When she finished she stared up at her reflection, darkness smudged her eyes, a hard mask covered her mouth and nose, her dark brown hair, originally in a tight braided ponytail had fallen apart, and blood was splattered on the revealed parts of her face. 

She should feel hate, she should feel grief, she should feel something.

Except she didn’t. There was nothing. It had been years since that first day with the Winter Soldier. She didn’t know how long she had been in and out of cryo for the entire time.

She could still only remember one thing from the Before: My father produced the most dangerous weapons. I was one of them.

She often wondered about that one memory. She knew it was important, she knew she should feel rage against her father, but she didn’t know what love felt like. She didn’t know what it meant to be more than a weapon. She wanted to find some important meaning in that one line, but it didn’t invoke anything. She was a weapon, she always was, it didn’t matter who created her.

That was her only thought for the longest time, until one mission where things went wrong. They were sent to find some documents, a pretty normal mission, but when they got they realized they had been betrayed.

There were so many SSR agents she couldn’t count them. There was nothing she or the Winter Soldier could do, but their orders were to never be taken prisoner. 

So they fought.

Unsurprisingly they were shot, repeatedly. Their armor helped slightly, but they were still hit. The Shadow Mercenary’s invisibility helped them escape. She was able to trick them and help the Winter Soldier out.

Retreat was also against their orders, but for some reason the desperation in her bones broke through her programming. 

They made it as far as they could before they couldn’t go any farther. They snuck into the forest and found a cave to collapse in. She could tell the Winter Soldier was more hurt than her, she heard his muffled grunts. 

“Lie down,” she ordered. He obeyed her, they had learned over the years to not question what the other told them, partly because they were both so used to orders, and partly because they trusted each other–even if they had never confirmed it. 

She dropped to her knees next to him and helped him unbuckle his vest. She helped him pull it off and saw how bad the bullet wounds were. She grabbed her medic bag and started to tend to each one, slowly pulling out the bullets, trying to ignore every one of the Soldier’s groans.

By the time she was done, he had passed out from the pain. She watched the steady rise and fall of his chest and somehow knew that he would survive the night. With that reassurance she dropped her back next to him and fell asleep immediately, ignoring her own pain, ignoring the fact that she, herself might not make it through the night.

Hours later she awoke to hands peeling back her bloodstained vest. Her eyes flew open and her body tensed until she realized it was the Winter Soldier.

“I’m tending to your wounds, if you go on like this for too long you will die.”

She didn’t respond, her silence was acknowledgment enough. 

His fingers glided along her bare skin feeling for the wounds and bullet wounds. She gasped and groaned in pain, but she didn’t move, especially when he started to pull the bullets out. None of them were that deep, their armor was state of the art and it had saved their lives.

She was shivering when he finished, the cold stone seeping into her bones. She slowly pulled her tight vest back on with his help, but she was still cold.

“We need a fire,” she stated, he nodded. 

They looked around for a while and collected some sticks and built a fire quickly. They thankfully had matches and the fire was started easily enough. 

They huddled next to each other leaning against the wall. They were silent for a while as they never talked during missions usually. 

“How old are you, or how old were you when you left the machine?” She asked. They both had an understanding of how time didn’t pass normally and neither of them knew how old they were anymore.

“Twenty-one.”

“I was twenty.” 

“Do you remember anything from the Before?” He asked, she was a little surprised that he referred to the differences in being a super soldier and not in the same way she did, but she didn’t comment on it.

“I only remember one thing.” He looked over at her, waiting patiently for her to reveal it, “One thought, ‘My father produced the most dangerous weapons. I was one of them.’ I don’t know who my father is, but I know he’s a Hydra leader because of that.”

“Do you want to know him?” The Winter Soldier asked tentatively.

“The way I see it, he is in no way different than any of our other commanders, he could be the person that always reads the words that make me go completely numb, or he’s the one that operates the machine that we go to for programing updates, or maybe he’s a commander I’ve never met. He is nothing to me because I am nothing to him.” The Soldier cocked his head to the side, almost beckoning her to go on. “I am nothing. I am just a weapon to be used. I don’t know what it’s like to have anything more, I don’t even want it. I am easily replaceable.”

“Not to me you aren’t,” the Winter Soldier mumbled, his voice unusually soft.

“What?”

“I never had a partner before you, I will probably not have one if you die. This is a lonely journey as you know, but having you makes it a little bearable.”

She fought against the tears that the words made her feel, she shouldn’t be affected this much by it, but no one had ever told her she was important before. She decided to deflect back to their original topic, “Do you remember anything from the Before?”

“Not much, I just remember this kid I was friends with–blond hair, blue eyes, can’t run from a fight–I remember saying to him ‘I’m with you till the end of the line.’ I don’t know who he is, but I just can’t help but feel that I’ve betrayed him. I don’t know if he’s still alive, I don’t know if he knows who I’ve become, I don’t know if he would want to stand by me in battle anymore.”

She turned to look at him, “I hope you find him someday, and I hope he is worthy of being someone you would have said that too.”

“All I want is to be free,” he said quietly, as if he was afraid that he would be stuck back into the machine for even expressing the words.

If there was an officer around, he probably would be. 

“All I want is to be able to experience more emotions than pain, anger, sadness, and hopelessness.”

“I hope you get to learn happiness, joy, and love.”

“I hope you get to shed the mask we always wear and finally speak the words you feel deep inside, but can’t express.”

They were silent after that. It was the most they had ever spoken to each other and it filled her soul just a little bit. It made her remember that there was someone else struggling through the pain with her. 

Eventually a Hydra team came in to extract them and they went back to their cryo-chambers. That time when she went to into the frozen sleep she didn’t feel as broken, she felt like there could be an end to this torture. 

Over the next few missions they began to become closer, they’re fighting began to sync up and they seemed to understand each other more. As they flew back to their home base, they started trading weapons to clean them for each other. The Shadow Mercenary knew the Winter Soldier’s sheath locations as well as she knew her own and vice versa. Whoever finished cleaning their own first would slide weapons out of the other’s uniforms without a word and help them clean them. 

None of their handlers noticed the closening of the two soldiers, no one noticed the words they said to each other to signify that they were lucid and not under complete Hydra control, whatever that meant anymore. 

She would ask him, “Free, yet?”

He would just ask her back, “Happy, yet?”

Two things they didn’t think they would ever be, but something they could dream for when they were lucid. 

They had truly become partners, closer than Hydra probably wanted them, but they weren’t going to let anyone separate them.

Chapter Text

I’m with you till the end of the line.

The words reverberated throughout his head–Steve’s words, his words. His name was James Buchanean Barnes. He wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore. 

He was free.

I hope you get to shed the mask we always wear and finally speak the words you feel deep inside, but can’t express.

Those words also circled his brain. Why he hadn’t just killed himself when he had a chance. The Shadow Mercenary was waiting for him, but he couldn’t get back to her. He didn’t know what happened to Hydra and he couldn’t go back to the cryo tanks for her. He didn’t know why they only awoke him for this mission, that was until he realized it was all about Steve. 

He was so lost, he didn’t have strict orders in place, and he was all alone. He hadn’t been alone in a long time. He always had the Shadow Mercenary with him, his partner. The person he had begun to trust more than anyone in the world. 

Steve had broken him free, but she was a tether to the past that he couldn’t, that he wouldn’t forget. He would save her. He would let her shed the mask that he had gotten knocked off her face.

He just didn’t know how.

He didn’t want to turn back into who he was before: a murderer.

So, like a coward, he hid. He hid for as long as he could, before Hydra forced him back out in the open by framing him for killing King T’Chaka. 

Maybe he would get to see the Shadow Mercenary again. Maybe they would be partners again.

He kept that in mind as he prepared to become a puppet again, as he prepared for the words to wipe him blank like they always did. 

Chapter Text

She woke up alone. The Winter Soldier’s tank was empty next to her and a man in a dark blue suit with a star in the center was standing in front of her. A woman with shoulder-length red hair stood next to him.

“Who is this?” The woman asked the man.

“According to the reports: Evelyn Monroe, code named the Shadow Mercenary. Also, Bucky’s partner.”

Eveyln? Bucky? 

The words flew around her mind, confusion flooding through everything.

“Who are you?” She finally asked.

The man stepped forward, holding out a hand, “Steve Rodgers, Captain America, and this is Natasha Romanoff.”

“What are you doing here, are you Hydra?”

“Hydra has been destroyed, we are here to save you.” The man, Steve, explained.

“Where’s the Winter Soldier, was he already saved?” She tried to keep the emotion from her voice, something she had gotten extremely good at over the years.

“No, he’s…I don’t know where. I think he has escaped the mind control. That reminds me, shouldn't you be attacking me right now?”

“No, they always reprogramed us after cryo and our orders came after that.”

Steve nodded, he helped her out of the cryo machine, “We should get going, you can tell us more at a safer location.”

She nodded, it wasn’t like she had another choice.

They were walking out when a man stepped out of the shadows, Commander Monroe, “Shadow Mercenary,” and then he spoke the words, the words that turned her blank. Molded him for her control.

Her body became the Commander’s and she went into Defense Protocol. She disappeared and ran to her Commander, reappearing and becoming his shield. He helped guide him to the exit holding guns pointed at Steve and Natasha.

As soon as they escaped, the Commander ordered her to drive the truck waiting outside and they drove as fast as possible to escape. 

They stopped for the night at a really run-down motel. The wallpaper was peeling and there were stains on the sofa, it didn’t matter to her. She had been in worse places, and her job wasn’t to relax anyway. The Commander explained that a lot of Hydra had fallen, but they were currently rebuilding. She couldn’t bring herself to ask about the Winter Soldier, she couldn’t let him see weakness. So she sat there, her gun on the table in reach of Commander Monroe so he could shoot her if she rebelled against her programming.

She stayed up and kept watch as he slept, patrolling the motel room trying desperately to ignore her worry for the Winter Soldier.

Weeks passed, Commander Monroe kept his control on her tight. Eventually, they made it to Romania, the commander apparently had business with this man named Zemo and ordered her to gather food from the market and more supplies. 

She knew she probably didn’t need to be doing it, the Commander probably just didn’t want her hearing what he was going to talk to Zemo about, which meant he truly did not trust her programming. She wondered if that meant it had failed before. If her memory of it had been wiped. Or maybe the Winter Soldier had broken his. No one could tell her about him, maybe he was gone. She almost hoped he was gone, far enough that no one would find him. She hoped he was free. She probably wouldn’t be let from this tight control, but she hadn’t had her emotions wiped in a while and she knew that made Commander Monroe scared.

She was just happy for a little time to herself, even if she couldn’t really make her own decisions.

She wandered the place, remembering the Romanian that was ingrained in her mind as she spoke and bargained with venders until she heard a familiar voice.

She looked over and saw him, the Winter Soldier. She stared in shock. He was wearing a red shirt with layered jackets and a baseball cap keeping his face covered.

It couldn’t be. It couldn’t be him.

She watched him for a while, and then she followed him back to his house. She stayed invisible and silent and he had no idea she was there. 

She slipped into the room behind him and was about to reveal herself when she saw Captain America in the room. 

“You know me?” the Captain asked. 

“You’re Steve,” the Winter Soldier replied. “I read about you in a museum.”

“I know you're nervous, you have plenty of reason to be. But you're lying.” Lying? About what?  

“I wasn’t in Vienna, I don’t do that anymore,” the Soldier replied. The Shadow Mercenary knew what happened in Vienna–the bombing–but she had thought he had done it. What did he mean that he didn’t do that anymore?

There wasn’t an end to the commands. 

“Well the people that think you did are coming here now,” Captain America said, interrupting her thoughts. “And they’re not planning on taking you alive.”

“That’s smart. Good strategy.” The Shadow Mercenary felt her heart pang, he should have wanted to be free. It seemed like he was. But what happened? She was so utterly confused.

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Buck.”

Buck? Like the Bucky he mentioned before? Was that his actual name?

“It always ends in a fight.” The Winter Soldier sighed. She felt his words in her bones, it was all they had known when they were in Hydra together, there was no end. She was going to go back to Commander Monroe after this and become his puppet and fight his battles.

“You pulled me from the river, why?” Captain America asked as the Winter Soldier pulled off his glove revealing the metal hand beneath. They knew that they were about to be attacked, and the Winter Soldier was preparing to fight.

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.”

Then soldiers burst into the room and started attacking. The Shadow Mercenary took that as her cue to leave, sneaking past the soldiers streaming in. She wanted to stay with her partner, but she could see that the situation wouldn’t end well and she needed to be alive to help him if he needed it.

She was back at the rendezvous with Commander Monroe before she knew it and he explained that they were breaking into a secure facility to take back control of the Winter Soldier, she was there to guard and give everyone a quick escape. 

They met up with a man, who she assumed was Zemo and her Commander instructed her to stay invisible and silent during the whole mission unless given other instructions.

They got through the base very easily and soon they were walking into the Winter Soldier’s room. The man, Zemo, sat down at the table and began talking to him, pretending to be a psychiatrist analyzing him for the government.

The Winter Soldier just glared at him.

“Tell me Bucky, you’ve seen a great deal haven’t you?” There was that name again, Bucky. Was that his real name? Had he remembered it? 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” the Winter Soldier–Bucky replied.

“You fear that if you open your mouth the horrors will never stop,” Zemo said, explaining the truth that both Bucky and her knew too well. “Don’t worry, we only have to talk about one.”

Then the power went out. The Shadow Mercenary stiffened, hands drifting towards her weapons, but she stayed invisible.

“What the hell is this?” Bucky asked.

“Why don’t we discuss your home,” Zemo continued, “Not Romania, certainly not Brooklyn, no.” He pulled out a red book with a black star on it, “I mean your real home.”

It was the book that had the words that controlled both her and Bucky. Except, they had programmed them on different words so what Zemo was about to read wouldn’t affect her. 

Zemo started speaking the words and she saw Bucky start to tremble, his voice was weak when he begged, “Stop.”

Zemo continued, Bucky’s metal had flexed, and he begged him once again to stop. Bucky started screaming and broke out of his restraints. Zemo continued his words, they grew louder as Bucky banged against the door of his cage. 

Zemo finished as Bucky broke through, he hadn’t been fast enough. Bucky straightened as Zemo walked closer to him. 

Zemo asked the Winter Soldier in Russian, “Soldier?”

Bucky complied with the response, “Ready to comply.”

“Mission Report. December 16, 1991.”

The Shadow Mercenary opened her mouth to explain because she knew that she had led the point on that mission, she had been the one to commit the murders, but the Commander next to her whispered roughly in her ear to remain quiet. As she was under his direct command, not Zemo's, she remained quiet. 

That was when she realized the Commander and Zemo had two different goals. Zemo wanted to know about the day that she and Bucky had killed the Starks, Commander Monroe wanted his control of the Winter Soldier back.

As soon as the report was finished the Commander ordered her to attack Zemo, she knocked him out with a swift punch. She turned to the Winter Soldier, flickering back into visibility. She wanted to say something, but she knew he was too deep under the programing to understand. Later, after the immediate brain numbing effects wore off she could speak to him. 

The Commander ordered them both to help him get out and for them to go a different direction. She complied, and surprisingly so did the Winter Soldier. They got him out a back entrance and then ran back to the room with the cage, they saw Steve and another man were asking Zemo for information.

Then they attacked, fighting side by side there was no defeating them. They knew the other’s movements better than their own and they took care of Steve and the other man quickly. 

They made it to the top relatively quickly and took care of guards easily. The Shadow Mercenary gave the Winter Soldier a couple of her weapons which only made it easier. 

A man she felt like she kind of recognized came in and tried to attack the Winter Soldier, but he went down in moments. Natasha came running in along with another blonde woman. The Shadow Mercenary grabbed the blonde and knocked her out in moments, she turned to see the Winter Soldier struggling slightly with Natasha. She ran over to help him when some other man came in and attacked. There were too many people to keep track of so she just hit and took down anyone that wasn’t the Winter Soldier. 

Eventually they made it to the roof, jumping into the helicopter. As they started to lift off Steve ran out onto the helipad and somehow managed to crash the helicopter to the ground. The Shadow Mercenary flickered into invisibility because she figured it would help her if they needed a sneak attack. Before she knew it they were falling into the water. 

She watched Steve grab Bucky and pull him to safety and she was left by herself. She followed them, staying invisible the entire time. Steve had experience losing a tail and even though she was invisible she couldn’t stay close enough to him, and he knew that the government probably had eyes on his position so she soon lost them. 

Commander Monroe had clearly wanted them back, but the water and the desperation for Bucky to be safe had knocked her brain up, and unlodged the commands. For the moment she was free.

She wouldn’t give up hope.

Besides, she had nowhere else to go.

Chapter Text

Bucky woke up slowly. He had no idea where he was, but at least he was Bucky. He looked to his right and saw that his arm had been locked down under some random materials. 

As he regained his memories from the time as the Winter Soldier, Steve and some other man walked in.

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve asked.

“Your mom’s name was Sarah,” then he laughed, “You used to put newspapers in your shoes.”

“You can’t read that in a museum,” Steve smiled.

The other man was a lot more disgruntled, “Just like that we’re supposed to be cool.”

“What did I do?” He asked, trying to remember what happened. 

“Enough,” Steve responded, his voice grave.

“I knew this would happen,” he felt his entire body tense in anger. 

Steve started asking what happened, why that man was there talking to him. As Bucky started to remember, he remembered his escape, he remembered who was there with him.

“Wait.”

“What is it?” Steve asked.

“Where’s the Shadow Mercenary?”

“What does she have to do with anything?” Steve asked, confused, but it was also clear he knew who he was talking about.

“She was with me in the helicopter.”

“There wasn’t anyone with you.”

“Yes, there was. Did you save her too?” He asked, feeling desperation settle over the fury at himself for hurting people.

“It was just you, I only saved you,” Steve insisted.

“Where is she? Why was she even here? I thought she was in cryo.” He asked, his arm tensed and he started to pull at the giant block restraining his arm.

“Bucky, calm down for a moment,” Steve said, clearly noticing the change in his emotions, “We were trying to find more information on you so we found her and pulled her out of cryo, except a Hydra commander got control of her.”

The same one that had controlled him after the doctor had been knocked out…by the Shadow Mercenary he realized.

Then he asked the question he had always wondered, “Do you know what her real name is?”

“Evelyn Monroe,” Steve answered, clearly glad he finally had an answer for him.

“Did she follow us?” He tried to hold on to hope that maybe she got out.

“There was no one else behind us for a long time, and when we got back into civilization I made sure to avoid anyone that could be tracking us.”

“She can turn invisible though, did you hear anything unusual?” He knew it was useless, they had been trained on being deadly silent.

“No,” Steve admitted.

Bucky started pulling against his restraints again. Each pull stronger than the last, he could feel it start to give.

“Buck, please. Relax.”

He ignored his friend and pulled again and this time he broke free. He drew up to his full height and saw Steve and the other man tense. 

He just walked past them, heading to the door when it burst open. Except there was no one there.

“Shadow Mercenary,” He breathed.

“Winter Soldier,” She said, flickering back into visibility. She walked over to him slowly. “Free, yet?”

“Happy, yet?” He asked back, a smile slowly appearing on his face as her lips slightly quirked up. They didn’t know what to do after that, they typically only had a very short amount of time alone when they were in Hydra and those words of reassurance were all they had. It was proof that they weren’t too badly brainwashed.

“So…you guys gonna make out or something?” Steve's friend asked, pulling them out of the moment. 

“And who are you?” The Shadow Mercenary asked, turning to stare at him.

Bucky knew first hand what her death stare looked like and couldn’t help but smile a bit as the man looked at her in fear.

“I’m Sam, Sam Wilson.”

“Good to know, now I know your name to track you down and murder you if need be,” She said, her voice completely steady and truth rang out in every word.

Sam put his hands up, “Sorry, that’s my bad.”

“Yes, it is.”

She didn’t get a chance to say anything else because Steve interrupted, “Bucky, this is your partner, right?”

Bucky nodded, “You said her real name was Evelyn, right.”

“Evelyn Monroe,” Steve nodded.

His partner turned to Steve, staring at him, “That’s my name?” 

“Wait, Monroe?” Bucky asked, Steve nodded. Bucky turned to her, “Commander Monroe, do you think–?”

She stared at him, realization flickering into her eyes as it hit her. Then he started to see tears well up in her eyes. He had never even seen her show any emotion, he knew she felt fear, but she had never shown it. He watched her turn around and flicker out of visibility, then he heard her run towards the door. 

He shouldn’t have been able to hear her, he had never heard her when she was invisible before. 

He was about to follow her when Steve grabbed his shoulder, “Buck, I need to know if you remember anything else about the doctor. What he wanted from you.”

So Bucky turned and explained to Steve what happened on December 16, 1991. He explained that it meant there were more super soldiers. He explained that the Shadow Mercenary and him were the only ones approved for field work, but there were many they could have sent out that he didn’t know about.

He explained it as fast as he could and when he finished he went out after the Shadow Mercenary, after Evelyn Monroe.

Chapter Text

The Shadow Mercenary sat on the roof of the warehouse, her hair blew in the breeze as tears trickled down her face. She stared out into the city watching police search the city for Bucky.

Her name was Evelyn Monroe.

And her father was Commander Monroe. Her father had been directly involved with the torture that had been in her life. 

My father produced the most dangerous weapons. I was one of them.  

She was right, she was so horribly right.

She felt her body begin to flicker in and out, it was something that happened when she let her emotions get the best of her. When the fear took over.

She didn’t know who she was.

The Winter Soldier, Bucky, had friends, he had a life that he remembered. 

Her mind control was so strong she couldn’t remember before. Her life began after she left that machine. Her life had belonged to Hydra, without it she didn’t know who she was.

“Evelyn,” a tentative voice addressed her from behind. The name felt right coming from his lips, it was finally starting to feel real.

She didn’t turn and waited for Bucky to come sit down next to her. He let his legs dangle off the edge, bumping into hers occasionally.

“I know how you felt about your father when you didn’t know him, what about now?” 

She sighed, “I always hated him, but now I can’t help but hate him more. He designed me to be his weapon, it was something I always knew, but I always hoped that he tried to avoid what he had done. I never realized he would have been there through it all, through all my pain.”

“Are you going to kill him?” There was no judgment in his voice. 

She shook her head, “I don’t know if I will be able to, he’ll just speak the words and I’ll go back under his control.”

Bucky nodded. He clearly knew that there was nothing to say to that, no reassurance that could be offered. They were soldiers through and through. 

“What was your life like? The Before?” She asked, hoping to cheer herself up.

“It was nice, I was popular and life was easy. Then, I enlisted. It was always another battle. Back then I loved it, but now I wish I had memories that weren’t celebrating winning a battle, that weren't celebrating killing people.”

“There’s so much death that surrounds us. I don’t remember a time without it. You were the one light through all the death. I knew if you died, I would die too–we went on the same missions you wouldn’t have gone down unless the battle was impossible. All I remember is death and you.”

Bucky turned to look at her, “Do you think we’ll ever be truly free? Truly happy?”

“I don’t know, certainly not until those damn words are out of my brain.” She sighed.

Sitting in the quiet of the afternoon, Evelyn leaned her head on Bucky’s shoulder. She remembered back to that night in the cave, both of them barely healed enough to make it through the night, sharing things they had never shared before. 

---------

One more battle. 

One more battle.

One more battle.

The words reverberated around her head as they prepared to fight against Iron Man and his team to help get Bucky and Steve to Siberia to stop the other super soldiers that Zemo wanted to release. 

She sat next to Bucky with Sam in the passenger seat watching Steve meet up with the blonde that had attacked her earlier. Something just felt off about her, she didn’t know what, but she didn’t trust her. 

Then Steve kissed her.

She looked over and saw Bucky smiling, “I wouldn’t trust her,” she whispered to him.

He glanced at her, confused, “Why?”

“There’s something off about her.”

Bucky nodded, “I’ll keep an eye on her in the future.”

Sam turned to look at them, “Really? She tells you that she doesn’t trust Sharon and you’re on board.”

Bucky glared at him, “When you trust some with your life repeatedly, you have to trust their instincts.”

She smiled slightly as Sam turned back to look out the window. It felt weird to have someone so openly defend her in such a way.

They drove over to another part of the airport garage and a man and a woman walked over to meet Captain America. 

Bucky whispered over to her that the man was Hawkeye, and the other was Wanda Maximoff and explained to her their powers. She nodded, and as the others walked over to greet them she stayed shadowed by Bucky. She didn’t exactly trust them, and she could feel that Bucky only trusted them because Steve did. 

Another man hopped out of the truck and greeted them. She didn’t know who he was and Bucky didn’t know either, but once again Bucky trusted Steve so Evelyn decided to trust him. This group was getting a little big for her liking. She and Bucky could have easily made this a stealth mission and it would have gone a lot faster.

An announcement sounded in German, everyone looked around somewhat confused. Bucky nudged her, telling her that she should explain what had just been said, to prove her trustworthiness to the group, “They’re evacuating the airport.”

They nodded, she could see confusion in some of their faces as to who she was, but she didn’t offer an explanation. 

They watched Steve talk to Iron Man, trying to negotiate even though everyone knew that it wouldn’t end well. Evelyn stayed with Bucky and Sam, her face was covered in her usual mask and she had kohl around her eyes. Bucky didn’t wear his mask and she knew how much that meant to him, she just couldn’t have people knowing her face. 

The fight began and soon enough some spider kid started attacking. He caught Bucky’s arm which genuinely surprised her, but before she could do anything Sam flew into him knocking him off his feet. 

Moments later both Sam and Bucky were covered in webs on the ground. The spider kid was talking again, “Guys look, I’d love to keep this up, but I’ve only got one job here today and I gotta impress Mr. Stark, so–”

Evelyn, completely invisible, jumped onto him pushing him down from his perch. She swung the kid around and threw him out of the window. 

“Couldn’t have done that earlier?” Bucky called, she could hear the joke in his words.

“Yeah, seriously,” Sam added.

Bucky turned his head, “Nope, you don’t get to be a part of this, shut up.”

“I hate you,” Sam replied.

She ran over to them and helped cut them out of the spiderweb. 

She stayed invisible and headed back outside to meet up with Captain America. The other team was blocking them off, but of course they decided to fight them to get through. She placed well time punches and fought people without them realizing she was there. She hoped to keep it that way.

That was until the spider kid noticed her, “Hey again, I know you're there, and I’m ready for a rematch.”

Did this kid have actual spider senses?

She turned and attacked. It was a close match, and she was winning until she saw Bucky get hit hard. She turned to try and run to him, but the spider kid took it as a chance to hit her, knocking her out and onto the ground. 

She felt herself flicker back into visibility as the black overtook her.

Chapter Text

Bucky got back to his feet after being hit insanely hard and looked over to Evelyn to see her completely knocked out on the ground. He ran over to her, but before he could get there he was grabbed by someone he needed to fight. 

Before he knew it, Steve was getting him to run towards the quinjet and Evelyn was being left behind. He hated himself at that moment, he hated himself for leaving her behind. It was the second time he had done it, and he didn’t know if he could forgive himself if anything happened to her.

Steve flew them out of the airport and Bucky sat in the passenger seat worries flooding through him.

“Buck?” Steve asked, but Bucky didn’t respond, he couldn’t. He had left her again. He had left her to Tony Stark to do whatever he wanted. He had left her with the new king of Wakanda who had a death wish for him and would probably take it out on her. He had left her with people that hated him, people that he didn’t trust. “Bucky?” Steve asked again.

This time he looked over at him, “What?”

“She’s going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

Steve sighed, “She was your partner for 70 years, and from what I’ve gathered she’s as good as you, or maybe even better,” he paused as Bucky smiled remembering many sparring sessions where the winner wasn’t always super clear, “If anyone can deal with Stark it’s her. And if he locks her up, we’ll go get her.”

Bucky nodded, “I shouldn’t have left her.”

“She would have wanted you to get away.”

Bucky shook his head, hating how right he was. Hating the fact that if she had told him to run he would have told her no and would have grabbed her. Disobeying her was something he didn’t like to do, they followed each other’s advice, but he would have saved her given the chance.

“Steve,” Bucky paused, surprising himself that he was telling him this “she led point on the mission on December 16, 1991. It was her,  not me. How do you think Stark will feel when he finds out?”

Steve sighed, “We just have to hope that he doesn’t find out.”

Bucky sighed, “I don’t know if I’m worth all of this. Your friends are going to be locked up. My partner is going–I don’t know where, I don’t know if I’m worth all this.

“What you did all those years, it wasn’t you. You didn’t have a choice,” Steve said.

“I know, but I did it.” Steve was silent after that, not knowing what to say.

Bucky hated himself a lot at that moment. Hated who he had killed, hated that all these people were sacrificing for him, and most of all hated that the Shadow Mercenary, Evelyn was probably going to take a lot of punishment for things they both did. No one was going to care that she wasn’t in control.

Chapter Text

Evelyn awoke chained up in a room. Her mind flashed back to all of the times she was locked up in Hydra. She looked around frantically, the room was shaking slightly which she inferred meant that she was on a plane. She was about to dislocate her thumb to slide her hand out of the restraints when Tony Stark walked in.

“The only reason you aren’t in the high security prison like the rest of them, is because I don’t know who you are.” She opened her mouth to speak but he raised his finger forcing her to stop, “And not just that I don’t know you, the internet doesn’t know you. You don’t exist.”

“Then what do you want from me,” she stared at him, holding eye contact. 

“Are you a super soldier?”

She debated answering him, it probably wasn’t smart, but she didn’t want Tony running after Bucky recklessly. Her life didn’t matter as much as his, so she responded, “Yes.”

“Were you his partner, Bucky’s, I mean?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know where they are going?”

“Yes,” she answered, holding back a smile when she saw his frustration.

“Where?”

“I’ll tell you, but I need to ask you something first.”

“What?”

“Were your parents Howard and Maria Stark?” She was tentative in her question, and his slow confused nod only made her terrified. “I know who killed them.”

Tony stared at her, “Go on.”

“It was a mission both the Winter Soldier and I were sent on. And–”

“--Does Steve know about this?” Tony interrupted.

“Maybe.”

“I’m going to kill him, he’s protecting his best friend and hiding the truth from me.”

“No!” She yelled, raising her voice for the first time, “It wasn’t Bucky. I led point on the mission. It was me who killed them.”

Tony stared at her for a moment, before jumping at her and pushing her into the wall, his hand was around her neck. She started choking immediately, the air rushing out of her lungs. She was ready to take her punishment, one person could finally get revenge for all the terrible things she had done. She wouldn’t get the happiness Bucky had hoped for her, it wasn’t possible. She just hoped that he would be free, that he wouldn’t have these things follow him.

Tony stood there waiting, and when she didn’t say anything, he asked, “You aren’t going to beg for your life?”

“I’ve taken so many others, why should mine have any worth?” She said, barely having enough air to say it. 

Tony dropped her, she collapsed on the ground gasping in air, “Why did you tell me? Why didn’t you let Steve take my anger?”

“Steve is blinded by his love for doing good, he thinks that every problem can be saved if he just does enough, but nothing will change what I did all those years. It doesn’t matter if I wasn’t in control, I killed…So. Many. People.”

Tony stared at her, pity in his eyes. She wanted it to stop, she wanted the anger back. She was terrible and broken and didn’t deserve anything. She wanted people to get the justice they deserved, she wanted to avenge their loved ones death. “What’s your name?”

“Evelyn Monroe, at least that’s what the files say. It feels right, so I guess it’s my name.”

“How old were you when you received the super serum?” Tony said, crouching down to the floor in front of her.

“Twenty.”

Tony turned, his hand rubbing his face, “That’s so young.”

“I was an adult, it’s not that young,” she said. She could barely understand what was going on. He should have killed her already, instead he was worried that her life had barely begun before she had been turned into a super soldier.

“You should have had a life.”

“Bucky was only 21, it’s not much different,” she protested again. 

Tony turned away again, “Really? You both look so much older.”

“It’s the super serum, it makes us stronger and more developed,” she explained.

Tony stood up, “I forgive you.”

“What?”

“You couldn’t control it, and you didn’t want to. And most importantly you told me not expecting forgiveness. So I forgive you. I forgive you for killing my parents.”

She stared at him in shock, completely speechless.

“Can you tell me where Steve is? I want to help him with this doctor.”

She nodded slowly, that was something she could answer.

----------

Tony pulled open the doors of the Siberia base, walking through to see Steve and Bucky in defensive positions. Tony had let her come with him and she was standing behind him. She watched Bucky jolt when he saw her. 

She watched Tony and Steve resolve their issues for the moment. Bucky was still tense, his gun aimed at Tony, ready to shoot at any moment.

“Manchurian Candidate, you're killin me. There’s a truce here, you can drop it.”

Steve raised his hand to give Bucky the signal, but he didn’t relax, instead he said, “What are you doing with her? Is she a prisoner?” He gestured over to Evelyn.

“No, you can have her back, don't worry.”

Bucky relaxed and walked over to her as Tony and Steve headed for the door, he whispered over to her,“Happy, yet?”

“Free, yet?” She asked him.

“I got heat signatures,” Tony announced.

“How many?” Steve asked.

“Just one.” They walked further into the room and capsules, much like the ones that Bucky and Evelyn stayed in, lit up.

Then they heard Zemo inform them that they were dead. Then they heard him give a speech about how he had studied Captain America. How he wanted to destroy them from within. He then started a video. A video from December 16, 1991, a video of the Shadow Mercenary killing Tony’s parents.

She watched Steve’s expression turn to fear, and watched him look warily at Tony. Tony looked over at her, she stared back at him. Pain and sorrow was wrought across her face, she knew he had forgiven her when she had told him, but watching her do that…she really didn’t know what Tony was going to do.

Tony moved towards her, but Bucky stepped in front of her and Steve grabbed Tony’s shoulder.

“Zemo promised me this would escalate quicker,” a voice announced for where Zemo was previously hiding, “I was looking forward to watching my soldiers kill someone of their own volition.”

Evelyn turned, and she saw Commander Monroe, her father. She stepped back in shock trying to take deep breaths in and out. 

He laughed, “I see you figured it out.”

“This changes nothing, I still hate you.”

“I wouldn’t expect any less from my beautiful daughter. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter what you want,” Then he began to speak in Russian, he started to say the words that would control her.

“No!” She said, her hands coming up to claw at her ears, “Please, stop!” She dropped to the ground, curling in on herself. She was vaguely aware of Bucky banging against the window her father hid behind.

It was too late.

She rose to her feet, staring at the Commander, “Soldier?” He asked in Russian.

“Ready to comply,” she responded in Russian.

“Kill the Winter Soldier.”

Chapter Text

Bucky watched Evelyn turn to him, expression completely blank. He watched her turn into the Shadow Mercenary. He watched her whip out her knives. She started to stalk over to him, and that was when he prepared to fight her.

She jumped at him and he deflected with his metal arm, he tried to grab her knife, but she was too quick. She attacked again, moving faster. He continued to deflect each attack, but he never threw his own punch.

Then she turned invisible and it became a lot harder.

Steve jumped in and started to help Bucky fight, but he wasn’t much help because he hadn’t been trained on following the Shadow Mercenary’s movements. Bucky managed to grab her and threw her into a wall, wincing when he heard her grunt. 

Moments later she flew into him with a side kick, pushing Bucky to the ground. He knew she was walking toward her when Steve threw his shield into her making her go sprawling.

Then surprisingly Tony jumped in and sprayed her with some sort of ink making her visible again. 

“Stark?” Steve asked, clearly confused.

“We can work out our own issues when we aren’t fighting a Hydra controlled drone, so until she’s back to herself I’m with you.”

Steve nodded and turned back to the Shadow Mercenary, Tony had his hands out ready to blast her and Bucky was back on his feet. 

With the ink, the invisibility was useless so she became visible again. Steve and Tony clearly thought she was standing down when she jumped at Bucky. Knives drawn she pushed him to the ground, her knives at his throat. He wrapped his legs around hers and flipped her, putting himself on top of her. He grabbed her arms and forced them above her head. 

He shouldn’t have been able to beat her that easily, he wondered if there was some part of her that was resisting.

She stared at him, no emotion in her dark eyes. 

“Evelyn, please,” He said, his voice quiet and rough.

She just blinked at him.

“Remember, just remember who I am,” he begged her, “Remember the years we’ve spent together, remember that one night when we were both almost dying. Remember when we wanted to be free, remember when you wanted to be happy. 

“Evelyn please, just come back and you can have that.”

She relaxed against him, and he started to relax his grip when she drove her knee up to his gut. He dropped her and rolled off her, curling into himself. She jumped to her feet, grabbing another knife from a sheath, raising it to kill Bucky.

And then she dropped to the ground. He then saw a tranquilizer dart in her neck and looked to Tony who seemed pleased with himself. 

Bucky turned to Steve who just shook his head, “Sorry Buck, that wasn’t her.”

He sighed and slowly got to his feet, watching Steve and Tony argue a little bit about what they were going to do.

“Rodgers, just so you know, I knew about my parents before I came here.”

“What?” Steve asked.

“She told me. I’m mad at you for not telling me, but I’m not mad at her.”

“Why not?”

Tony turned to Steve who was frozen in disbelief, “She begged me to kill her!” 

Bucky stayed quiet, unfortunately he wasn’t that surprised that she had begged him to get retribution. He sometimes wished the same thing.

“What if she was my daughter? What if someone horrible had mind controlled her and forced her to do such horrible things she would beg for death? My father wasn’t the closest and I always promised that I would be better than him, and how can I do that if I can’t forgive a twenty-year-old for being completely controlled by Hydra?”

 “Really?” Steve asked. Bucky was surprised he didn’t believe Tony, but also from what he had seen Tony had a bit of a tendency to go off the handle.

Tony shook his head, “You know what she said to me?” he glanced down at Evelyn’s prone body, “She said to me ‘Nothing will change what I did all those years. It doesn’t matter if I wasn’t in control, I killed…So. Many. People.’ No one should have that burden.” That was the end of the discussion, there was nothing anyone could do to argue with his point. “Do you want me to carry her?”

This time Bucky spoke, “I will.” He walked over to her and slowly picked her up, making sure if she woke up she would be comfortable. 

Meanwhile Steve asked, “We can’t go back with you, Tony. I’m not gonna sign the Accords.” 

Tony nodded, “I’m not going to try and stop you. Just–just make sure that you unprogram her, and you too, Winter Soldier.”

Steve nodded, “I will.”

Chapter Text

Evelyn woke up slowly, her body ached and her thoughts were fuzzy. As she gained her bearings she realized she was blindfolded, but by the rocking sensation she figured she was on some sort of plane. She was strapped into a seat, and there were locks in place to keep her there. All of her weapons were gone.

Then things started flooding back to her, her father appearing, his words controlling her, and then his command: Kill the Winter Soldier. She didn’t remember anything after that.

Had she killed Bucky?

Had her father taken her captive?

Where was she?

She tried to keep her lucidness quiet, but as she figured the only way to get answers was to ask, “Hello?”

“Evelyn?” She heard Bucky’s voice ask. “Do you still want to kill me?”

“You’re alive? How much did I hurt you?” Terror gripped her voice.

Bucky slid the blindfold off her eyes and she beheld his face. He looked perfect—in a medical way, of course—there were no bruises and she didn’t see any blood, “I was pretty sure you were fighting the control.”

“Really?” She was still staring at Bucky, confirming over and over again that he was okay. “What about Tony, he didn’t want to take me into custody? And what about my father?”

“No, he just wanted to make sure that you get unprogrammed. Tony took your father to be locked up,” Bucky was still standing warily above her, metal hand clenching and unclenching. 

“Bucky,” he focused his gaze on her, confused, “I’m me, right now, and it sounds like Steve is bringing us somewhere to finally be us forever.”

Bucky smiled, and sank down into the seat across from her, “I thought this would never end.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked.

“Yeah, I was in complete control the entire time,” Bucky reassured her.

“Sure, Buck,” Steve interrupted, “I recall you trusting that she was back to herself and then she kneed you and was about to kill you before I intervened.”

“Really? No, nononono.” She pulled her legs up and rested her head there, trying to block out the images of Bucky bloodied on the floor, body broken, and all her fault.

She felt something next to her and flinched, “Evelyn, it’s me.” She looked up and saw Bucky staring at her, “You didn’t hurt me, and you won’t ever be forced to try to again.”

Wrapping her arms around her knees, she dropped head back down and closed her eyes. She hoped he was telling the truth, but she also couldn’t articulate the feelings of fear that Bucky dying invoked.

She felt something be placed on her head, she quickly realized they were headphones as music started playing. She didn’t know the words, but something felt familiar. Like there was some part of her brain the music was unlocking and it just felt safe. 

It felt like home.

Evelyn didn’t know what her home was, didn’t know her life before, but the music was a tether. She didn’t know how Bucky knew this music would work, maybe it was music he loved back in the Before. 

She leaned against Bucky sitting next to her, the subtle rocking of the plane and the relaxing music lulling her to sleep.

Chapter Text

Evelyn woke up slowly, every part of her body ached. She started to move when someone grabbed her arms and pushed her back down. 

She grabbed the arms and jumped up flipping them onto the table.

That was when she finally saw her attacker. It was a teenage girl. She had dark skin with her hair up in a bun and technology interwoven with her clothing. The girl was pressing buttons furiously and many bald women in red outfits with metal sticks ran in.

She reached for a knife that should have been in its sheath, but there was nothing there. 

Guess I’m doing this with my bare hands.

She started to lunge at them when someone grabbed her from behind holding her tightly. She started to fight them, but their grip only tightened, that was when she realized one of their arms was metal.

“Bucky?”

“Evelyn,” his voice whispered in her ear. “I disappeared for one moment, I wanted to be here when you woke up to explain everything.”

He loosened his grip and she pulled away from him, hating the way for a brief second she immediately missed his embrace.

“We are in Wakanda,” he started.

“With the vibranium and the secrets?”

“Yeah, except umm, well Shuri can explain it better than I can.” Bucky looked at the teenage girl that Evelyn had previously attacked.

“Oh yes, we have a lot of technology that can aid in getting rid of the mind control. We were just scanning you to know what we should work on to start fixing you. We should be able to set you up with a new life with new memories if you want it.”

“NO!” She yelled, then realizing that was way too loud she shrunk in on herself, “No, no more lies, no more confusion. Please !” 

She backed up into the wall and heard Bucky say to the girl, “Just–just give us a second.”

After everyone left, Bucky helped her down to the floor and sat next to her. She looked away from him and then asked, “How are you so well adjusted?”

“I went through what you’re going through already. I got out months before you were free. The only part that kept me from moving on was you,”

“I can’t–I don’t think I can move on. I don’t have people that want to support me. Steve is nice, but eventually when he realizes I’m a weak mess he’s not going to stick around. Once you get all that mind control off, you’ll go join the Avengers and I’ll be left here. Forgotten. Just an experiment for them to let rot.”

“Evelyn, I can’t join Steve. I can’t fight anymore. I just want to be done.”

“So what? Are you going to stay with me? Cause I’m broken. And it’s not just the super serum and the Hydra mind control. I’m so broken that the only way my dad felt like he could appreciate me was if he…” she paused for a second, emotions welling up and making her voice crack slightly. “The only way he could appreciate me was if he tortured me and forced me to do whatever he wanted. The only way that you can figure out how to not be broken, isn’t to stay with someone as broken as you. So you are going to find someone, maybe like that blonde that Steve was kissing—even though I still don’t trust her—and you are going to settle down and be happy.”

“Don’t–don’t do that!” Bucky raised his voice.

“Do what?” She kept her eyes averted from him.

He tilted her chin over to look at him, “I’ve been with you since the beginning, why would I leave before the end?”

“Because–” She started.

Bucky interrupted, his voice was quiet, but firm, “Are you happy yet?”

“What?”

“Are. You. Happy. Yet?” He firmly enunciated each word.

“No?”

“Then why would I leave?” She stared at him in complete confusion so he just continued, “Why would I leave you before the fucking answer to that question is yes? After all we’ve been through?”

Evelyn stared at him in shock. He just shook his head and started to stand up. 

Evelyn felt her body move before her mind told it too as she jumped up and pushed him to the ground and kissed him.

The shock of it all melted away when he started kissing her back and raised his hands to support her body, currently hovering over him.

She pulled away, panting, “I’m so sorry, that was so uncalled for–”

Bucky shushed her by flipping them so he was on top and kissed her again. She couldn’t fight the smile on her face that made Bucky pull away, “If you’re grinning like an idiot, I’m going to have trouble continuing this.”

She just laughed and pulled him down for another kiss, before breaking it because she was smiling again, “Ask me again.”

“Happy, yet?” Bucky said, without missing a beat.

She smiled up at him, “Not completely, but for once I have faith that I will be.” Bucky smiled and leaned in to kiss her again when she held up a finger, “Are you free, yet?”

“With you, always.” 

This time when Bucky leaned in to kiss her she didn’t stop him, and when she started laughing so hard that he had to break the kiss he just started laughing too.

She finally had hope. Hope for the future. Hope for a better life. Hope to finally learn what love means. 

Chapter Text

It had been about a year since Steve had left them in Wakanda and a couple months since the mind control had finally been erased.

Evelyn and Bucky were starting to feel happy, when one day Tony came for a visit.

They were sparring and didn’t stop for his arrival, well, Evelyn didn’t. 

Bucky got a punch in the face for his distraction which only caused him to kick his leg out to sweep her leg. She jumped over it and spun into a wheel kick. Bucky grabbed her leg and flipped her onto the ground. 

He was on top of her in moments. 

She grinned, “I let you do that.”

“I know,” Bucky smirked. 

“Seriously, you two are just screaming ‘makeout sesh’!” Tony hollered at them. 

Evelyn pushed Bucky off of her, he rolled away like a sack of corn. Dusting off her clothes she stood up, “Where’s the battle?”

Bucky finally made himself to his feet, his face was grim.

Tony’s expression hardened, then after a moment softened, “No battle. I promise. Steve and I resolved our issues and we wanted to invite you back to the compound.” Then he smirked, “Unless you like living here like an old married couple.”

She still didn’t have the best social skills with only being around Bucky and goats all the time. Bucky, sensing her distress, answered, “I suppose we can act like an old married couple in a compound as much as we can in a random house in Wakanda.”

“Do we have to go to the compound? There’s a lot of people and…I’m not good with people, yet.” Evelyn asked.

Tony thought about it for a moment, “I guess you could stay in the old Avengers tower. I don’t use it for Avengers stuff and mainly just use it as a place to get away. I also let Peter—Spiderman—stay there sometimes when he wants to experiment with tech.”

Evelyn looked over to Bucky to confirm that he was okay with it, and when he nodded she said, “Ok sounds great.”

That was how she ended up going up the longest elevator ever to the top of the old Avengers tower to get to the penthouse that Bucky and Evelyn were staying at. Tony had dropped them off, told them FRIDAY was there if they needed anything and left. 

“So…” she said, trying to come up with something to say when the elevator finally reached the top and the doors opened, “Woah! That bed is huge!”

She dropped her bags and flopped on it, “Why would Tony ever give this place up?”

“Cause he’s rich enough to buy a million of those beds,” Bucky explained with a scowl.

She sat up, “Bucky, Tony’s not actually as bad as you think. He really cares about people and he could have done anything he wanted to when I told him I killed his parents.”

Bucky sighed, “I guess. I’m going to explore the rest of this place.”

She nodded and he disappeared back into the elevator. She just decided to curl up on the comfortable bed. 

-------

The elevator opened, Hydra came streaming through the threshold. Guns pointed at her. Her father walked into the room. 

“You thought you were free?” He asked, then he started to speak Russian. Words that weren’t supposed to control her anymore, words that were currently freezing her body.

“No, no please,” she pleaded. Her limbs spasmed as she tried to control her muscles, but they didn’t comply with her desires.

“Evelyn!” Someone called.

Her father stepped closer, finishing the words. Her body completely froze. 

“Soldier?” He asked her.

“Ready to comply,” she answered, devoid of emotion.

“Evelyn, sweetheart, wake up!”  

Then her body was shaking, a hand was on her shoulder, pulling her out of her personal hell. She pushed the arms away and curled up, her body shaking violently.

“Evelyn, please!” 

The call made her pause, she looked up and saw Bucky staring at her, pain in his eyes. Her voice was weak when she whispered, “He could still control me.”

Bucky’s gaze softened and he pulled her into a hug. She latched on to him, his warmth seeping into her, “We’ll never be fully healed. And it’s always going to be hard. But you are your own person. No one can control you.”

Slowly, her shaking subsided and she pulled away from him. She looked over to the window and saw that it was completely dark outside, “What time is it?”

“Around 10:00. This place is huge and I just got back from exploring.” She nodded

Evelyn sighed, “Well, I’m still tired, so get ready for bed.”

Bucky sighed, he ruffled through his bag and changed his clothes quickly, “Hey, you stole my sweatshirt again.”

“Are you sure? I thought this was mine?” She said smiling. 

Bucky laughed, “Sure, let’s go with that.” 

He laid down next to her and turned on her side to face him. Her eyes were already drooping again and it was only moments before she was drifting off to sleep.

-------

Evelyn awoke to a metal hand around her neck, squeezing the air out from her lungs, “Bucky!” she wheezed. 

The grip loosened slighting so she called out again, “Bucky! Please! It’s me!”

That had him completely loosening his grip and he turned away, “I’m sorry,” he said, still gasping from his nightmare.

“It’s worse here, I know. It’s a new place,” she reassured him, knowing she had been fighting her own demons more than usual. “Want to spar, get the emotions out?”

That led to them padding around the tower in sweats looking for a gym to spar in. Eventually they found something and they were fighting in moments. It felt so good to just let out her emotions with every punch. As the minutes ticked by she felt her body getting into a good rhythm and she was able to relax. She could also see the tension leaving Bucky as his moves became smoother. 

She was so wrapped up in everything she didn’t notice Tony and Peter slipping into the room. She was just focusing on Bucky and deflecting each of his attacks. Then she reached out and grabbed his arm, flipping him onto the ground. She was on top of him in moments, holding his metal arm back he was stuck. 

She grinned as she watched him try to get up, “Nope, I won. Yield?”

Bucky relaxed into the mat, “Fine.”

She got off of him and gave him a hand up, except she almost dropped him when Peter said, “Wow, impressive. Now I don’t feel as bad that you threw me out a window.”

She turned to face him, and laughed, “I think I’m going to like you.”

Peter grinned, clearly happy that he had earned the assassin's approval. Tony interrupted the moment, “Bucky, Steve wants to talk to you. I told him you’re staying in the city, but not in the tower. I don’t want Houdini here getting overwhelmed.

Bucky nodded sharply and mouthed a goodbye to her. When he was gone she asked Tony, “Houdini?”

“Disappearing act,” he explained quickly before turning to Peter, “Hey go work on some of your homework or something, I want to talk to her alone.”

“Ok Mr. Stark,” He then looked at her, “Evelyn, stop by in my lab. I'm excited to get to know you.”

She smiled slightly at him and nodded watching as he walked out. 

“Ok, let's talk about this over breakfast.”

Her stomach growled at the thought and she nodded, barely holding back a laugh.

Chapter Text

Apparently getting breakfast also meant a tour of the entire place, which took a long time because it was huge. Tony was really friendly and by the end she was laughing at his jokes.

Over breakfast, Tony tentatively asked her about her experience in Hydra and it was hard but she opened up a little bit. When they were finishing up Tony said, “If you ever want someone that isn’t me to talk to, like a therapist, just let me know. You should be able to recover.”

She thanked him, barely holding back tears. She didn’t understand how her life had started to have so much promise.

After breakfast she went down to Peter’s lab, and she saw him engrossed in some sort of work and then a girl broke the silence saying, “So Tony definitely has a pattern and has adopted you, too.”

“What?” She asked, confused as to who this girl is and what is going on.

“I’m MJ, Peter’s girlfriend, and another one of Tony’s adopted children.”

She scrunched her face up in confusion.

Peter laughed, pulling away from his work, “Tony likes to take in random kids that need help, he brought me in and then when I started dating MJ, he adopted her too. I guess you also got that honor.”

“I’m almost a hundred years old.”

“Yeah, but technically you’re like 22 so to Tony you’re a kid,” Peter explained.

Then MJ jumped up, “Peter was telling me about your moves, can you teach me some? Whenever I ask Peter he just says it’s his Peter tingle and there’s nothing to teach.”

Happy to have been asked something she could definitely do, “Yeah, of course. Want to do some now?”

MJ nodded eagerly and soon they were back in the training room and Evelyn was teaching MJ the basics.

The weeks that followed were very relaxed as Evelyn started to get used to the city and different people. She also met Peter’s best friend Ned, who she liked in small increments. He had a tendency to ask her a lot of questions about stuff and it got uncomfortable pretty quickly. Bucky would always notice when she was getting overwhelmed and get her out and away from people. It was making her fall for him even more than before. 

One night everyone was hanging out on the couch in Stark Industries sweats, watching some movie. In the movie there were some family issues and the father yelled at his daughter, “Sorry, we don’t know if we should treat you like the adult you are or a hormonal teenager!” 

For some reason the words hit her, striking deep in her brain. Then something clicked.

“We don’t know if we should treat you like the adult you are or a hormonal teenager!” Her father screamed at her.

She stared helplessly at her mom who didn’t move a muscle to stop it. 

“I’m 20, Dad! I’m just trying to go out on a date with this really nice guy I met!”

“And who said you can date, you have things to do.”

“Sorry if being a Nazi isn’t my biggest priority!” She screamed at him. 

It was the wrong thing to say, her father’s face contorted in anger, his voice was a low whisper when he spoke, “What did you say?”

“Just because you are deluded and think that fascism is the way to go, doesn’t mean I have to be.”

“First of all, we are Hydra, which is different from Nazism and secondly, you are my daughter, you don’t ask questions!”

She turned around walking towards the door, “Mom, I’ll be back late, don’t wait up.”

Then something came flying towards her and hit her in the head exploding and making everything go black. 

She was shaking curled up on herself, Bucky was right next to her almost yelling at Peter and MJ, asking them what happened. Peter jumped in front of MJ to defend both of them and say they hadn’t done anything. 

“I’m fine,” She said, understanding reality again after the memory. “I’m going for a walk.”

No one tried to stop her when she left, and she was glad. She just needed time to herself.

She didn’t know where she was so she just wandered. It was late autumn and the cold air made her cheeks redden and her nose runny, but she didn’t care. She just wrapped her arms around herself and walked as far as she could. She passed old houses, colored leaves scattered on the ground, and she couldn’t help but see the world’s beauty. 

Then it glitched, something in her mind slipped away for a second, then she came back. Something about his place was familiar. She wandered closer to a particular house that made emotions flood through her. It looked relatively normal, intricate detailing, a wrap-around porch, even a small turret with a giant window, except…Except as she walked around it there was something off about it.

She reached out and touched the side paneling, and that was when she was sucked into another memory. 

She swung her leg over the window grabbing on to the ledge while trying to find some sort of foothold.

This is so stupid. What am I doing?

The thoughts that should have been getting her to stop did nothing, especially when she saw her best friend’s eager face waiting for her at the bottom. 

“Come on, hurry up!” Liz called.

“Sorry for trying not to die!” She yelled back, a laugh on her lips.

Slowly, and taking way longer than Liz wanted, she made it to the ground. She leaned her back against the house taking a deep breath. 

Liz interrupted her moment of silence, “Come on, this party won’t wait for you!” 

Evelyn pushed away from the wall reluctantly, “Fine, let’s get going. We have to be back before my dad figures out I’m gone, otherwise I’m dead.”

“Ok, who’d you set us up with this time?” She said, a smile on her face. Now that she was out of the house, the house where she had to act quiet and subdued, she felt the energy returning. She was ready for a fun night out and maybe a nice date.

Liz grinned, “You’re going to love me for this one. I met this guy who wanted to do a double date, and while he was a real looker and his friend is probably not as much of a stud, I decided to take the guy’s friend and leave you him.”

“And this is why you’re my best friend,” Evelyn smiled back and pulled her friend in for a quick hug, “So, do these guys have names?”

“Of course, mine is Steve and yours is Bucky.” 

---------

Evelyn was bent over dry heaving on the ground. Her thoughts were a whirlwind and she didn’t know how she was supposed to feel. 

There’s no way they were another Steve and Bucky.

That meant she had been on a date with Bucky before. She wondered if he knew about it, she hoped he would have said something. 

Her mind was reeling as she walked down the street, still not ready to go home yet. Memories started to trickle back, nothing big, just recognition of where she was going and weird memories about which direction she should go, which turn she should make. After walking for a while she realized she had gone in a giant circle, ending right back at the house she started at. Her old house.

With a moment of courage, she walked up to the door and knocked.

No one answered.

So she picked the locks and forced her way in. 

The door opened to a dusty living room decorated with flowered carpets and curtains and yellowed furniture. It had been a beautiful house, but it seemed that it hadn’t been lived in for years. As she walked further in, memories flashed around her. Nothing substantial, but she knew that this was her home.

She found a staircase and went up it, and, following her gut, she walked down the hall and chose the door on her right. She opened it and saw her room. A bed sat in the middle of the room, pillows were stacked up nicely and the sheets were pulled nicely up and tight. It rested up against a yellowed wall and on top of yet another flowered carpet. There was a small bookshelf to her left, and on her right stood a dresser. 

Memories flashed in her head again, and this time some things clicked.

She was climbing back through the window when she saw her father sitting in the room.

“Where were you?”

“I was just out with Liz, I promise,” she insisted.

“And who else?” Her father asked, standing slowly.

She slunk back against the wall, “Just her I swear, we went to the movies.”

Her father nodded, “I believe you.” She sighed in relief, except her father started to walk closer, “But that doesn’t change the fact that you snuck out!”

Then he swung at her, hitting her right in the eye. She screamed out in shock and threw her hands up, but he just pushed them away and punched her again. 

“Please stop!” She pleaded.

Her father pulled her down and kneed her in the chest, “If you were really my daughter you would be able to defend yourself! If you can’t defend yourself around me, then how would you defend yourself around someone random on the street that doesn’t love you like I do!” 

She screamed again as he hit the side of her head with a backfist. He pulled away slowly and she slumped against her wall. 

As he was walking out he turned to her, “This is because I love you, remember that Evelyn.”

As soon as the door closed, she wrapped her arms around her and cried.

Evelyn was crying when she awoke, her arms were wrapped around her knees and she was curled up on her old bed. 

At that moment she didn’t care about going back to the Avengers tower. She didn’t want them to see her face, eyes puffy from crying.

So she stayed curled up on that bed, not moving. Hours passed, the light filtering through the curtains faded to black.

Chapter Text

Her father had forced her to do chores all day as further penance for her mistake. When her mom told her to go run errands, surprisingly her father had trusted her enough to go. She put on a nice day dress, and a hat that had a wider brim and would cover the bruises and split lip. 

She wandered around the market, grabbing different foods on her mother’s list, until she heard someone call her name.

She turned away, hoping they would think it was the wrong person, but the calls persisted.

Then someone grabbed her shoulder and forced her to turn around, “Evelyn, I thought our date was pretty good, why are you ignoring–” Bucky was staring at her in shock, his previous thoughts forgotten.

She just stared back at him. She didn’t know what to say to him. She had gone on one double date with him, and it had been really fun and she didn’t want to mess anything up. Although she figured it probably already was messed up with what her face looked like. 

“I’m really sorry, my face doesn’t normally look like this. Maybe we can meet up in a couple weeks–” 

Her ramling was cut off by Bucky, “Who did this to you?”

Her eyes widened, “It’s seriously fine, I promise.”

Bucky’s eyes flamed with anger, but he slowly brought his hand up to lift her chin to get a better look at the damage. When he spoke his voice was rough with barely constrained fury,“Who did this to you?”

She tore her head away from his grip, “I’m fine,”

Bucky flexed his hand into a fist, and she flinched back as memories of the night flashed before her mind. “Evelyn, no, I’m sorry. I don’t know you very well, but I can’t let anyone just go around with bruises. So please, just tell me.”

“My father,” she mumbled, as quiet as she could.

Bucky heard anyway, “Your father?”

Her nod was as small as she could make it, “Well, I have to go home now. Maybe I’ll see you another time.”

“I can’t let you go back to him.”

“You don’t even know me,” She insisted, turning around. Bucky tried to follow her, but she whirled around, “No! If he knows that I met someone last night, I’m–I don’t know, but it’s not good.”

Bucky sighed, “If you ever need anything…”

“Do you want to go on another date?” She blurted, covering her mouth immediately in embarrassment.

Bucky smiled, “I’d love to.”

“Really?” She knew the shock was clear across her face.

“Yes.”

---------

Evelyn woke up with a smile on her face. Of course Bucky had been perfect for her back 70 years ago. Then the rest of the memories came in. She remembered going home that night and begging her father to go on a date. 

And then she was in Hydra. 

She didn’t know how much time passed, but her next memory was of her waking up and seeing Bucky again. Except this time they were totally different people. 

She pulled her stiff body out of the bed and dragged it down the stairs. She nearly jumped 10 feet in the air when she saw someone sitting in one of the yellowed chairs. He had green leather armor and long black hair.

“Are you the owner of this house? I didn’t know that anyone lived here?”

The man scoffed, “You think I would live here, in this squalor. I live in castles.”

“Then who are you and what are you doing here?”

The man grinned, “My brother, Thor, was in town and I was doing some snooping and found out that this mysterious new girl was missing, I had to go looking for her.”

“If your brother is Thor, then that makes you Loki?”

He bowed as much as he could in his reclined position, “At your service.”

“Ok…um,” She really didn’t know what to say to this guy.

“Darling please, I just want to know the gossip. All Thor ever tells me is boring mission stuff.”

She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t have much gossip, I just got here with Bucky. We’ve been staying at a place away from the avengers.”

“With Bucky? Is that a relationship I hear?” Loki asked, a twinkle appearing in his eye at the chance for something interesting.

“Well…yes,” she conceded. Then she added on quickly, “But don’t tell anyone we’re trying to keep it a little quieter. We’ve been dating for a while and known each other for years, but we’re more private. Although I just found out that I knew him back in the 40s before I became a Hydra slave. Aaaand now I’m telling you everything.”

“I just have a trustworthy face. Don’t worry though, I’m no snitch. The Hydra thing sounds horrible. I have a horrible rap here on Earth because I was mind controlled to take over the entire place.”

“Really? I didn’t know you were being controlled.”

“Yeah, it was some infinity stones magic, that I would rather not relive.”

“Yeah, I definitely get that.”

“Ok, now to the fact that you’re dating Bucky Barnes,” Loki said, changing subjects, “I’ve never fought him but I’ve seen what he looks like and…girl he’s a catch.”

She dropped her head, smiling.

“Ok so…are you two gonna have a secret wedding soon? I love those, they always have a certain spice to them.”

She laughed, “Maybe, although he hasn’t said anything yet.”

Loki smirked, “Ok but he’s definitely been thinking about it.”

She shook her head, although she had been wondering about it for a while.

“Well, this has been fun, but your boyfriend is worried sick about you.”

Her eyes widened as she realized how long she had been gone for, “We need to get back now. Do you know where to go? I’m honestly lost.”

Loki gave her a look that seemed to say Of course I do.  

She took one last look at her home before walking out.

She wanted that place to mean something, she wanted to make it into a place more than just fragmented memories. 

She walked into the tower and saw barely restrained chaos. Tony was yelling at FRIDAY to use security footage and scan satellite surveillance. Peter and MJ were murmuring about stuff worriedly. And Bucky was pacing back and forth, clenching and unclenching his hand.

He froze when he saw her, blue eyes piercing into her soul. He opened his mouth to say something when he glanced over and saw Loki, “Who’s that?”

Loki smirked, “Honey, I would never touch her trust me. I know when to keep my hands off of someone else’s girl. I may be a god, but I’d be dead in an instant if I tried.” Bucky glared at him while he bent down to whisper in Evelyn’s ear, “He’s definitely a keeper.” She laughed and Loki looked back at Bucky, “You should be happy that she’s home.”

Bucky’s face softened and he looked at her. “I’m so sorry I ran.”

“I was so worried about you, I’m so glad you’re safe.” Bucky said softly. 

They would hug and reunite later. While she was pretty sure everyone there knew they were dating she didn’t like advertising it. 

She explained that she recovered some memories that were really big and she was still kind of processing and needed some time. Everyone understood and she was able to go up to the penthouse and get some time.

A couple minutes later, the elevator dinged, opening for Bucky, “You okay for visitors?”

“Not visitors, but this is your room so can’t stop you no can I?”

Bucky paused, “I can leave–”

“No no no, I’m joking. I need to tell you something anyway.”

Bucky smiled slightly and walked over to sit down next to her. He pulled her in for a kiss, “I missed you,” he whispered against her lips.

She smiled, whispering back, “Me too.”

He pulled back and looked at her questioningly, “So, what did you need to tell me?”

“I used to know you,” she blurted out. “Before Hydra, you took me on a date.”

Bucky stared at her, “Really? I remember almost everything in my past but not that.”

She cocked her head to the side, “Maybe my father made sure you would never remember that.” She explained everything that she had remembered in the past day. She had to hold back tears as she talked about what her father had done to her. Bucky pulled her in, and held her as she buried her head in his shoulder and tears soaked his shirt.

When she finished she pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyes. She turned away from Bucky, embarrassed. He tilted her head back towards him, “Even if the cause of the pain is gone, it doesn't mean the pain goes away.”

She looked up at him, she saw the concern and care in his eyes, “I love you.”

He smiled, “I love you, too.”

It wasn’t the first time they’d said it, but it never felt so good to hear those words from his mouth. To hear them after her memories told her that love looked like abuse and beatings. To know that her father was wrong, she shouldn’t have to protect herself from someone that loved her. They should protect her from everything, even if it was her own mind that was hurting her. 

She stayed wrapped up in his arms for a while, not wanting to move at all. 

“Do you know what Loki suggested today?” She said, picking up her head to look at Bucky. He shook his head, urging her to go on, “Well I told him that we’re dating, but we’re not super public about it and…um he said that we should have a secret wedding.”

She didn’t know why she told him, but she wanted him to know that she wanted to move their relationship to new levels. The nerves that were somehow absent jumped through her body when she felt Bucky stiffen.

“What?” He said, his voice was shocked and kind of cold.

Embarrassment flooded her body, and her face went red, “Oh, if that’s not what you want, that’s cool. Just forget it.”

Bucky was silent, and then he pulled away from her and got out of bed, “I’ll be back later.”

She stared at him in shock as he disappeared into the elevator and left her all alone. She threw her head into her hands and started crying. She thought he would have been happy, but now? Now she felt like she had messed everything up.

She hadn’t been able to see herself with anyone else, didn’t that mean they should get married?

Unless he had felt different.

Chapter Text

She wandered around the tower. Peter and MJ had gone to school, Loki had left to go with his brother, and Tony was at an Avenger meeting. She had no idea where Bucky was, no idea if he was coming back. The tower was huge, and filled with a ton of empty meeting rooms that would probably never be used. 

Eventually she found a library. She had no idea why Tony had put that in his tower, but she was happy. She never read that much because she never had time, but seeing as she didn’t have a job anymore and didn’t want to go back into the fighting business anytime soon she had all the time in the world.

She figured out pretty quickly that FRIDAY could bring in food when she asked, except when she called for dinner instead of getting it from a machine, Bucky walked into the room holding her food on a tray.

“Oh, you’re back,” She said quietly, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

Bucky winced at her tone, “Can you come with me?”

She rolled her eyes, but nodded, “Where are we going?”

“Just trust me.”

She pursed her lips in annoyance, and stood up. Bucky led her outside where he had a motorcycle and two helmets waiting. He handed one to her wordlessly and put on his own. She followed him onto the bike, wrapping her arms around his stomach, but resisting the urge to rest her head on his shoulder, which she would have done before. 

The ride was quick, and she was surprised to see streets that she knew until they stopped at her old house.

“What are we–” She started to ask, but Bucky just mimed a finger shushing her.

She got off the bike and pulled her helmet off and he followed suit. He grabbed her hand softly, and she didn’t pull away like she probably should have.

He led her to the middle of the grass and then turned to her, “You told me how much you loved this place so I was going to try and buy it for you. But apparently it’s not for sale because your mom left it in your name.” 

“Why?”

“Evelyn Monroe, I love you more than anything in this world and I wanted to buy you a house.” She stared at him in confusion, and he continued, “I couldn’t do that for you, but I can buy you this ring.” He dropped down to one knee and held out a ring, “I want to make sure you're off the market just like this house. Will you marry me?”

She gasped, fighting the smile on her face, “But you were so mad when I suggested earlier.”

Bucky dropped his head, “Evelyn, I got upset because I’m so old fashioned and I just wanted to be the one to ask you.”

She gasped, her face breaking out into a full grin.

“So is that a–” Bucky started.

“YES!” She yelled and then jumped on Bucky. His balance was typically impeccable, but it seemed like she shocked him and he fell to the ground and she hugged him. She kissed him over and over all around his face, before slowing down and letting him kiss her back.

Then she pulled away and slapped him, “Don’t make me ever that worried again!” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to react.”

She slapped him again, “Idiot,” then she smiled, “But you’re my idiot,” and leaned in and kissed him again. 

Her smile kept breaking up the kiss, “Well if you keep grinning like an idiot, I’m going to have some trouble continuing this.”

The line was reminiscent of when she revealed that she liked him, and it only made her smile harder, “Be happy I’m smiling, I could have said no.”

“You would have never,” Bucky protested.

“I’m quite the catch actually, I could definitely find someone better than you.”

“Yeah, but then they would actually get to know you and decide that you were way too much for them.”

She laughed, “Same to you.” 

Bucky flipped her so he was on top of her. She tried to lean up and kiss him but he stopped her, “Are you happy yet, Evelyn Monroe?”

“I will be when you make me Evelyn Barnes.”

“As you wish,” Bucky said, finally leaning in and kissing her.

-------

When they got back to the tower, Evelyn still couldn’t smother her smile. She walked in and saw Tony, Peter, and MJ talking about something and they paused when they saw them.

Tony saw her smile then glanced down to her hand and saw the engagement ring, “You didn’t think to ask me, Barnes?” He asked, offended.

Evelyn glanced over at MJ who was giving her a look that clearly said, I told you so . She guessed that she definitely was Tony’s adopted daughter now.

“No,” Bucky said, any sort of guilt was absent from his face. 

Tony opened his mouth to comment, but Evelyn interrupted, “You would have said yes, so shut it.” 

Evelyn couldn’t stop herself from laughing when she saw Peter’s eyes go wide. Bucky saw it too and said, “Don’t worry kid, Stark can’t get too mad at her because he knows that she would probably just go crazy and kill him. I’d have to pull her off of him.”

Evelyn glanced over at Tony who was shrugging in agreement, “Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop being protective of you.”

That’s when MJ asked, “So when’s the wedding?”

Bucky answered as soon as the words had left her mouth, “As soon as possible.”

Evelyn looked at him, “I don’t need anything special, and I don’t want that many people. Peter, MJ, are you two free tomorrow at like 6:00?” They nodded, “Bucky, get Steve. And Tony, do you think you could get some ceremony set up?”

She looked over at Bucky who seemed overjoyed that she was ready to get married as soon as possible. 

There was a flurry of motion as the planning began. That night she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. When she woke up, Bucky’s side of the bed was empty and there was a note in his place.

Can’t see the Bride on the wedding day.

She smiled at the note and rolled out of bed. She was about to pull on some comfy clothes when MJ walked in.

“I know I don’t know you very well, but I’m an observant person and I have a feeling you’re going to try and not dress up for this.”

She looked down at the clothes in her hands and looked over at MJ sheepishly.

“Yep, that’s why I’m here. Peter’s making sure Bucky gets a suit.”

She really wasn’t picky with what she was wearing, but surprisingly MJ cared. She had to try on about a million wedding dresses before settling with a simpler silk dress with a flowy skirt and an a-line neckline. Evelyn was surprised by how much she loved it. 

MJ took out a card to pay for it and Evelyn stopped her. MJ laughed, “I told you, I’m one of Tony’s adopted children, this is his card. You have to get yourself one of those.”

She nodded, making a mental note to do that, especially because she really didn’t have any money or a job.

Before she even realized it she was getting into a car that Tony had sent and riding to her old home, or her new home now. The lawn was decorated beautifully and had an arch at the end of a path made of flowers. 

Bucky was standing waiting in a suit with Steve on his left and MJ waiting on the other side with room to her right for Evelyn to stand.

She got out of the car and Tony was waiting to walk her down the aisle, “Really?” She asked with a smile on her face.

“You think I would let you get married without walking you down the aisle, Houdini?”

She shook her head, “No idea where I got that idea.”

He held out his arm and she took it. Music began playing and they walked down the aisle. When they got to the end, Tony turned to her, “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.”

“I would kill him first,” she hugged Tony. She had never hugged him before, but it felt right. She glanced over and saw Peter wincing slightly as if remembering something. 

She walked up to Bucky and could tell he was holding back the myriad of emotions he was failing. The officiant started the words and soon it was time for vows.

Bucky started, “The first time I remember meeting you, I was in the depths of Hydra mind control and you brought me out of it. You made me want something more than death. You became the key to my freedom and I can’t imagine my life without you. I would go through all of Hydra again if it meant that I could keep you for eternity. Evelyn Monroe, you are the light of my life and have been with me through everything. I promise to be there for anything you go through, and fight anyone that ever dares to lay a hand on you.”

Peter handed him a ring and Bucky slipped it onto her finger. Evelyn spoke next, “You taught me what love meant when all I knew was pain and suffering. You promised that you would never leave until I was happy, except that created your own downfall because I’ll never be happy without you so you have to stay with me forever. I know I can always trust you to keep me safe, and I will go absolutely crazy and hurt someone if anyone tries to take you from me. I promise to be with you through everything, every memory of Hydra torture and every bit of fear. So, Bucky Barnes, you are mine forever and I am yours forever as long as you never call me Evelyn Monroe again, it’s Barnes now.” 

Bucky was grinning as she slid a ring onto his finger.

Then the officiator said, “I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”

While they both hated PDA, Bucky leaned in and kissed her like there was no tomorrow holding her as he bent her backward.

As usual she broke off the kiss because she was smiling too hard, but this time Bucky couldn’t complain because he was smiling too.

The small group in attendance started cheering and they walked down the aisle together.

They all went back to the tower, and FRIDAY introduced Evelyn and Bucky to the group, “For the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Barnes!”

Everyone cheered as they walked in, and Evelyn felt something bloom in her chest with her new last name. Monroe had just felt like a disease, something her father had forced on her, but Barnes…Barnes felt like salvation, it felt like a fresh start to a bright future.

That night she danced until her feet went numb. She sang along to every song until her voice was hoarse and she couldn’t say anything without it cracking. 

She was exhausted by the time she got to bed, but also couldn’t stop smiling to fall asleep. 

Bucky interrupted the silence asking her, “So, Evelyn Barnes , are you happy yet?”

She squeezed his arm in excitement, “Yes, yes I am. Bucky Barnes, are you free yet?”

Bucky gave her one of his rare grins, “Seeing as I’m married to you and happier than I’ve ever been, yes I am.”

She moved closer to him and grabbed his face, kissing him for what was probably the millionth time that night, and it would never be enough.

Chapter Text

It had been a couple weeks since Evelyn had married Bucky and her life was starting to settle down. She and Bucky were working on redecorating their house and preparing to move in. Bucky had started doing Avengers stuff but not an excessive amount. He was involved in some missions but nothing super dangerous and overly involved with Hydra. Evelyn had gotten an idea from teaching MJ to start teaching martial arts classes to women to teach them how to protect themselves and Tony had opened up one of the training rooms in the Tower for it and the class had grown significantly. 

One day, Bucky and Evelyn were lounging around the Tower when Tony called from a mission, “Hey Houdini, Peter needs some science stuff from his lab and I can’t get away, are you and Barnes free to go bring it to him.”

“Yeah, me and myself are free to bring it to him,” she said, pointingly addressing the fact that Barnes was also her last name.

“Oh, you know what I meant, okay, nicknames don’t change,” Tony argued.

She laughed, “I know, I’m just joking. What does Peter need?”

Tony told them and they grabbed it from the lab and went to Peter’s school. She slipped on light combat gear with way too many weapons to be let into a school, but one look at Bucky’s metal arm clenching and unclenching when they started to tell her no weapons made them let her keep them.

The office told her that Peter was in gym class and gave them directions. Bucky was pretty much a celebrity and whispers followed them as they walked through the halls. They reached the gym—which apparently had half of the grade in it—and everyone froze when they walked in. Bucky walked over to the teacher and asked where Peter was. 

He said that Peter and MJ had stepped out for a minute and would be back soon.

“I’m going to look for him, you stay here in case he comes back,” Bucky said to her, and she nodded in agreement.

Apparently, Bucky was cause for most of the fear because when he walked out the room erupted into chatter. Then this kid with greasy hair walked up to her, “So…what’s your name?”

She glared at him, “Evelyn.”

He didn’t take the hint that she didn’t want to talk to him, especially when a glance over at Ned told her that this kid was not a good person, “What if I just call you mine?”

She stared at him in shock, speechless that this teenager had the audacity to talk to her like that. He continued flirting and her looks of confusion did nothing to stop him. “I’m Flash, it’s so nice to meet you.” 

She didn’t say anything again, but it didn’t stop him.

Peter walks in with MJ by his side, and Evelyn, happy for the distraction, asked, “Hey, did you see Bucky, he was looking for you.”

Peter started to shake his head no when Flash tried to talk to her again, “Hey, gorgeous, don’t waste your attention on that pitiful excuse for a person.”

Peter interrupted, “Hey Flash, I would suggest against flirting with her.”

Flash just glared at him, “Face it Parker, you’re just jealous because you could never pull a girl like that.”

“Not important, and I would never try on Evelyn. You know her last name is Barnes, right?”

Flash laughed, “Wow, never knew Bucky had a sister. Don’t worry I can take a protective brother. He and I will get along great.”

Peter opened his mouth to say something, when he looked over towards the door and just shut his mouth, watching as Flash continued. She could feel Bucky’s presence behind her, he was always still, but at that moment she could almost feel that predator calm. She felt his footsteps tread up to her as he towered over her, staring at Flash. The high schooler seemed unfazed, clearly unsure as to what was happening. When Bucky spoke, his voice held a soft kind of malice that cut through the air of the gym, “Wife, actually.”

Flash laughed, but then froze. Evelyn could feel the ire rippling off Bucky as he stepped closer and closer to the boy. He laughed, trying to portray a strong image, “At least I’m not as pathetic as Parker who wouldn’t even try.”

Evelyn smirked as she watched Bucky’s metal arm flex and unflex slowly, and she almost burst out laughing when Flash noticed and frantically looked to her for help. He even opened his mouth to beg her, but Bucky interrupted, “Do not say one more word to her.”

Then, Bucky moved faster than she could even track his movements and his metal hand was holding Flash by the neck and choking him out. She pulled out a knife and walked over to him, holding it up to his face, chuckling slightly at the panic in Flash’s eyes.

After a moment Bucky let him go and the teenager went stumbling back, his face was white with fear. Bucky prowled closer to him, even though with every step Flash shrunk back to the point that Bucky had to grab his shoulder, then he whispered, except it was loud enough for almost everyone in the room to hear,“You’re lucky there are witnesses. Although later tonight when you’re all alone, there won’t be so, sleep with one eye open.”

Bucky let go of him, pushing him a little making Flash fall flat on his back before turning to Evelyn.

She smiled appreciatively at him before looking over to MJ, “See you after school?” She nodded, and Evelyn looked over at Peter, “Text Tony and tell him you got what you needed, he’s probably worrying like normal.”

Peter nodded, and then Bucky said to the whole group of them just staring at them, “Stay in school kids, or else you’ll become an assassin who kills bitchy high school students that flirt with his wife.”

There was utter panic in Flash’s eyes and Evelyn just laughed as they walked out. 

Bucky started to head towards the door, but she told him to pause and turned invisible and walked back into the room.

The class was staring at Peter in utter shock, then someone piped up, “So you weren’t lying about the Stark Industries internship?”

Peter shook his head, “No.”

Then some random guy came up to Peter and dapped him up, “I can’t believe you know the Bucky Barnes! He’s one of my favorite Avengers.”

Then a girl ran up to MJ, “Bucky’s wife seems so cool, why did she say she was going to see you after school?”

“She teaches a martial arts class to a lot of girls at the old Avengers tower,” MJ explained.

Then one of the skeptics piped up, “So you’re just friends with the second rate Avengers, not the ones that actually stay at the Avengers Compound.”

 That’s when Ned blurted out, “Yeah, but we basically get the entire tower to ourselves.”

That made the class go wild, many of them were asking for an invite. Then Flash, finally coming down from his fear, “You could never convince Tony Stark to let you do that. I also bet you couldn’t get any of the Avengers to come and it would just be lame.”

Before anyone could say anything Bucky peaked back into the room. Peter looked at him confused, “Do you need anything?”

Bucky rolled his eyes with a smile on his face, “Yeah, just my wife.” Everyone gave him a confused look and Bucky just looked right at her even though she was invisible, “Babe, you done eavesdropping?”

She flickered back into visibility with almost everyone gasping in surprise, “Yeah, I guess.” She headed towards the door and right before she left she said, “Party at the Avengers tower on Friday with all of the Avengers! Peter, MJ, Ned, you guys gonna be there?” They nodded quickly although there was confusion and shock flashing across their faces, “Oh and Flash, because you know all of the Avengers so well to know that Peter doesn’t know them, you can come too. I’ve heard you have a big social media following, you could live stream it.”

She was laughing so hard as they walked out of the school still hearing the chatter of Peter’s class. Bucky chuckled, “Remember when you were so antisocial that you could barely talk to Tony?”

“Yeah well I’ve basically adopted Peter and I hate seeing people be mean to him. And you can’t tell me embarrassing Flash won’t feel good.”

The joy on Bucky’s face was wiped away, “I’d like to do a lot more than embarrass him.”

“There’s my protective husband.” She smiled at him, grabbing his metal hand and threading her fingers through it, “You do realize that I’ve saved your butt on about a million missions so I don’t need protecting. 

“Maybe not, but for you, I would do anything.”

She blushed at his words. She was used to him flirting with her, but it didn’t stop how good it felt.

Then Bucky looked over at her, “You realize this means I’m going to have to introduce you to the rest of the Avengers, and tell them I’m married.”

“Yeahhhh, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay. Also you would think at least Natasha would have seen the literal wedding ring on your hand.”

“The metal of the ring kind of blends in with the hand,” Bucky defended Natasha.

“Yeah, or she already knows and hasn’t said anything.”

Bucky nodded, “That’s probably the most likely.”