Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was purely at Charlie's insistence that Lucifer was even coming to this 'Overlord' meeting. The Overlords, did not concern him, he could not care about them. The only one he even knew was The Radio Demon and that that was more than enough. He hated meetings, absolutely hated them. It was Lilith who did all the meetings and political stuff. But now he had to actually do 'Kingly duties' whatever the unholy hell they were. But his sweet darling daughter thought it would be good for him and Alastor to bond at one of those gatherings. As he was a bit... out of touch with the current political scene in hell. And Alastor was apparently the perfect person to catch him up on it. However Lucifer had no intention to go there as himself. Oh no no no no. Last thing he wanted is for all those sinners to start hurling questions at him or trying to gain his favour in anyway. It was bad enough with having to deal with that wretched Radio Demon, at least he hated him and didn't lick his boots. Others... he wasn't so sure about.

Cause he was the King of Hell still. And besides this gave him a way to scope out his... people? His Overlords? Subjects? Whatever. It just so happened that Alastor's hair happened to be fluffy and soft and warm and perfect (not that he'd admit it out loud. Never). Lucifer had decided to shift into his snake form and perch on top of Alastor's head, wrapped around his antler's. It was a miracle the Radio Demon agreed to it, begrudgingly and with all sorts of death threats but he still agreed! As Lucifer knew exactly what buttons to press now. Oh but Al, won't you look weak in front of your fellow Overlords if you strolled in with me? The King of Hell? Wouldn't want them getting the wrong impression. That I'm your personal guard dog cause you're too much of a COWARD. And one relatively heated argument later, here he was. Very content on top of Alastor's hair. But of course that prick had something to say about it. "How's the view from up there your majesty?" , "So, this was all a ploy to see how it's truly like at the top?" , "Finally seeing things from my perspective hmm?". What an asshole.

Lucifer tightened his grip around the antlers as of course the smug bastard walked with a hop in his step, so he was being bumped up and down. The same way as a car on a bumpy road. But he couldn't even be mad, cause his hair was just so fluuuuffffyyyy. He rubbed his snake head against the top of it, nuzzling into it. It was too damn unfair! His hair was never this fluffy and soft no matter how many fancy shampoos he buys!

"You have a new pet I see" Lucifer was suddenly alert at the voice. It sounded awfully familiar.

"Oh! Yes. This is my new pet snake! A gift from our Princess Charlotte. It was in regards of responsibility"

Lucifer raised his head slightly to look at the other Overlord. Ah.. Zestiel. That one he did know. He's one of the oldest to survive so long, hell the sinner had met Shakespeare. He continued to rest on Alastor's head. Zestiel was reasonable enough and relatively familiar.

Continuing on Lucifer heard another voice, this time a woman "Oh Alastor dear! How are you? Oh! Is that a snake! Why didn't you tell me you got a pet, you silly man! What a charming fella!" That was all the warning he got before he felt a gloved claw start petting him. Making Lucifer glare at her.

"Why now Rosie, my new pet. (Lucifer can feel the satisfaction the bastard felt at calling him! Him! A pet) Doesn't really appreciate to be stroked."

"Ah! I should've known! Well you know what they say! That pets are just like their owner! No wonder he doesn't want to be touched!" And what the hell is that supposed to mean now?

He hears a record scratch and feels Alastor's ears flatten before the Radio Demon replies with a "Say what now", very intelligent reply there, Lucifer snorted.

"Oh, think nothing if it, now come on! We need to hurry so we can get the seats farthest away from you know who" And with that they were off again before he felt Alastor sit down. Lucifer rose up from his vantage point and took a minute to survey the room. There was Zestiel, standing up next to... what's her name again. Carmilla Cardino or something. She had a complicated name and he never learns those anyways. He was also slightly familiar with her. Then he can only assume the person sitting next to Alastor is Rosie. But the room looked full, there were only three empty seats at the end. The others he had no clue who they were. Like who the hell was that pink neon green wolf thing?

Well, this was going to be hell (ha ha). Time for a na-

"What the fuck is that sperm looking thing on your head!?" A voice shouted throughout the room. EXCUSE ME? WAS IT IN REFERENCE TO HIM???

"Why Alastor, if I had known you were into bondage I would've offered my services ssssooner, all you had to do wasss assskkk" OKAY And who the hell is that now????

Lucifer rose upwards to look at the offending parties. Ohhh, it was that box head guy that Alastor hates. He was starting to see why now. And then there was that Pimp freak, Angel's boss? Right? What's his name Val-Val-en... Valentino! Aha! Anyway he did seem like a right old prick. Lucifer continued to glare at the two as they sat down. Then someone else decided to join. "Oho! Alastor, Mr Radio Demon! We got a snake now, do we? Trying to gain favours with the King and his daughter by looking after his image?" The neon pink bitch sat down in the last place.

"Right, now that we are all settled down we can begin to discuss the pressing issues-"

"Oh no we won't! I wanna know why that guy there can have a pet present at this meeting!" The TV guy pointed right at Lucifer. "That's gotta be against protocol or something. Besides where did that bitch even get a snake like that?!

"Vox. That is not the pressing issue here and there is also no protocol forbidding bringing pets to the meetings. Mostly because no one's ever done it before" Lucifer felt Alastor's head tilt to the side "Oh! So I am the first! How exciting! In all the centuries and millenias, I am the first. How splendid!" Of course the smug bastard would focus on that of all things.

"Oh, Vox, which snake of Alastor's were you referencing exactly? Projecting much?" The moth demon spoke.

"WHA-I -I-. SHUT IT YOU"

And that seemed to be the end of that, so Lucifer went back to snuggling in Alastor's hair, vaguely paying attention to the things being stated (not like it mattered to him anyway).

It had been some time later before there was another shout "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T DO THAT??!! WE'RE IN HELL! HELLO!? I THOUGHT ANYTHING GOES HERE! NOT LIKE WE HAVE A POLICE FORCE! THE FUCK YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT THEN!?"

"Vox. This is a very serious matter. And you know exactly what the consequences are." Carmilla spoke again. Seemed like she was the main speaker? Mediator? eh.

"I have to agree with you there Vox, like it's not even that unreasonable! Besides The Radio Demon freak does way worse! We all forgettin his first broadcast??" A woman stated, probably that pink bitch next to Valentino.

"Alastor has every right to do those broadcasts and you know it." Rosie stated.

"Right!? Right?! You know how many fucking forms I had to fill out before they even let me broadcast my shit in the other rings? How many fucking favours I had to call in!?" Box boy shouted once more. His voice was starting to agitate Lucifer.

"Why, that's because I'm the Radio, old pal. Much less hassle than your stupid junk and much more entertaining as well! Everyone is always down for it! "

"The only reason anyone's still got a Radio these days is cause they're too scared you'll kill them if they don't listen to one of your broadcasts! It's not like they go out of the way to listen to it, you sucker!"

"Good, that just makes me even more popular! They're tuning in specifically to listen to me, unlike with you" Static filled the room.

"WHY YOU FUCKING BITCH, I'D PUNCH YOUR FUCKIN TEETH OUT. YOU THINK YOU'RE ALL BIG AND BAD HUH NOW THAT YOU'RE RUBBING SHOULDERS WITH THE ROYALTY?"

"As amusing as the thought of you punching my teeth out is. Have you forgotten what happened last time you challenged me?" Lucifer rose to look at Vox, and what a sight it was, the man was literally buffering. It was hilarious. Talk about a glitching out!

"At least he hasn't been gone for 7 years like where the fuck did you even fuck of to? Fuckin coward and he does have a point, with you smooching up to the Princess. Trying to fuck her huh. And trying to get daddy's approval. Awwwww. Think you're too good for us cause you want to be a prince now." The girl next to Valentino stated. Oh, now Lucifer was angry. Rising up, he towered over Alastor's ears to glare directly at that pink freak.

"HA! The usual way isn't working anymore for you huh! Fuckin loser, smooching up to that bitch of a princess, she's fuckin pathetic, The King probably keeps you so he doesn't actually have to look after her himself HA!" OH LUCIFER WAS MAD NOW. NO ONE INSULTS CHARLIE LIKE THAT.

"No, no Vox. He's not after the princess. He's after the King. I reckon he-"

Before Lucifer even processed what was happening. He found himself walking on the table and leaning down (for once) to grab Tv freak by the lapels to bring him to his face. "Listen here you sad, miserable, waste of fucking space. If you dare insult me, my daughter or Alastor again, I will make sure that you will know what true suffering is like. I can smite you with a snap of my fingers, I can strip you of all your insignificant tiny power." He growled out, knowing that his horns have probably grown out. "Is that fucking understood?"

"Yes, yes. Your Majesty, I apologise" He looked terrified, Lucifer has missed the sight of when he made sinners tremble.

"Good." He turned to look at the other two. "And that goes for both you as well" he pointed to the other Vee's. "If you dare to-"

"Lucifer, Your Majesty" A voice broke him out of his threatening. He turned around and oh right! Alastor! Well, this was going to be awkward, great.

"I, sorry, Al. Got carried away there. You know, just making sure the trash stays in its place." He turned to look back at the offending party. "I know I said I wouldn't interrupt b-but they insulted you! And Charlie! Charlie! I couldn't just let them do that!" He walked back towards Alastor, noticing his strained smile. That was not good. Not good at all. Especially since everyone else was looking at him now as well. "Yeah, uhm.. Sorry for the interruption guys but ya know as King of Hell I have to make sure the meetings are productive and that wasn't very productive besides it was treasonous! I mean who even are they to insult me-"

"Lucifer. Come and sit down. We have talked about this" Alastor's voice once again brought him back to the present. That radio filter effect was incredibly hard to ignore (for very different reasons, Lucifer definitely did not enjoy it). He was done for, he did the exact opposite of what he said, so much for being undercover. Lucifer shivered at the thought of an angry Alastor back at the hotel.

As Lucifer looked down at Alastor (Ha! How does it feel to be short for once!). He noticed a slight predicament. There were no other chairs around. Well.... Lucifer knew he could just magic a chair into existence but it was just too perfect. Besides he was already in trouble and why not take advantage of the fact? Not like Alastor could do anything about it anyway. Plus he deserved it. He threatened one of his cute little precious ducks the other day. He still hasn't forgiven him for threatening to send Mr Snugglekins jr to the 'Voodoo shadow realm'. He truly was a heartless monster. So against his better judgement and knowledge that Alastor hates other people being in his space but loves to be in other people's spaces (what a hypocrite). He swung his legs off the side of the table and fell (very ironic) into Alastor's lap with his head rested against the Radio Demon's chest and one of his arms wrapped around the Demon's waist in a weird hug. It was nice. Ignoring the ominous and shockingly loud static coming off from the Radio Demon. The demon was extremely tense as Lucifer nuzzled his head into the surprisingly warm and sturdy chest. Oh ho ho! SWEET SWEET REVENGE BITCH! NO ONE THREATENS HIS DUCKIES.

The static slowly disappeared, and although Alastor was still tense he spoke "Well, Carmilla dear, shouldn't we continue with berating Vox for his contract breaches?". Lucifer will not lift his head up to look at anyone. He did not want to imagine what they were all doing. He had a vague idea of all the shocked faces and as much amusement as they would bring him, he was too content with the Radio Demon's chest.

An awkward cough was heard before Carmilla spoke "Right yes, Forgive us. We were just not expecting to have, his majesty here with us today. It is quite a shock but we are all very honoured that you have decided to join us, your majesty" A murmur of agreement followed. But Lucifer just waved his hand in a dismissive gesture "Yeah, yeah. Didn't want to be here anyway but I got dragged here so ya know carry on"

"The fuck, that Radio freak fuckin dragged the king to the meeting? The fuck" He heard box head whisper, well if he wanted to believe that Alstor had dragged him here then so be it. He owed at least that to Alastor.

"I knew he was fucking gay, didn't I tell you lot? I can recognise one anywhere, so sad that he's taken now. But I suppose all the good ones are. Didn't know he liked them short tho. No wonder he wasn't into you Vox." The moth snickered.

"SHUT IT" Vox, whisper shouted. Clearly still scared that Lucifer would make good of his threat.

And so the meeting once again commenced but this time rather tensely. He could feel the shift in atmosphere, everyone was much more wary of what they were saying. There was no more outright shouting or threatening. It was surprisingly civil for hell. He had fallen asleep at some point since was very rudely disturbed in his slumber by a hand running through his hair. "No, no. 5 more minutes pleaaaassseeee" and he brought his arms up to wrap around Al's neck. And snuggled closer to his chest. He heard some distant giggling next to him.

"Oh, Alastor why didn't you tell me that our king was such a sweetie? No wonder he managed to slither his way into that dark heart of yours" More static sounds and suddenly Lucifer felt himself be gripped tightly and lifted up. Causing him to let out an undignified squeak or squawk. As he tightened his hold on Alastor's neck.

"LOOK AT THAT! THIS IS SO GOING VIRAL!!!!" Velvette, shouted. But Alastor paid her no mind as he carried on his way.

"AIN'T NO WAY RADIO TOPS."

"Oh, but he does. I told you that wasn't the only snake he had"

"I SWEAR TO-"

Lucifer heard the sounds of a door closing and only then did he with blinking, watery eyes look up. Only to be met with the underside of Alastor's chin. "Al? Where are we?" At that the Radio Demon looked down and he saw that chesire smile of his. "Why your Majesty. We are in the elevator" No shit Sherlock.

"Why do I even bother." he grumbled before placing his head once again against the deer demon's chest.

"Do you mind?" Said deer demon asked.

"What? I'm not even doing anything!"

"That is the problem, or have you descended so far into your self pitying and uselessness that you can't even find the decency to walk anymore? Or is the floor of the Overlord building too dirty for our dear King? Tainted with the presence of us mere sinners".

"Oh shit. Yeah sorry, Al. You can put me dow-" He was suddenly dropped onto the floor with a big humph "OW! THAT HURT YOU ASSHOLE!"

"Yes, well you did say to put you down and I was just following orders, besides I did forget that I am more taller than most" Lucifer looked up at that smug ass grin from his beautiful spot on the floor. He agreed with Vox about wanting to punch his teeth out.

"Just- just shut up okay? We'll discuss this at the hotel".

"Yes, yes we will" Nodded Alastor as his grin somehow got bigger. And now that was going to be hell.