Chapter Text
The doors of the grocery store parted like the gates of Heaven, instinctively inviting Agatha inside. The familiar adrenaline rush of excitement that always came from the sensation of a good deal filled her. The cool air hit her face, and she took a steadying breath before pushing the cart inside.
This was her arena, her battleground, her world stage. And her magnum opus? A binder gripped firmly in her hand filled to the brim with precisely clipped coupons just ready to be turned into serious savings.
Agatha gripped the handle of the shopping cart more firmly, with purpose, as she calculated the most efficient way to effectively raid the store of its stock. 6 year old Nicky trailed beside her happily, clutching a small crumpled piece of paper covered in scribbles, his “shopping list” Agatha deemed it, but in reality mostly featured doodles of dinosaurs and his contributions. The contributions being “candy” and “ice cream”.
“Alright, mister,” Agatha whispered to him like it was some insider trading knowledge being exchanged. “Today is the day we restock. Cereal for 12 cents a box, pasta sauce practically free…we’re winning this! Take no prisoners!”
Nicky nodded, used to his mother’s insanity, but he would go along with it if it meant he would get those prize toys from all the mail in box tops his mom cut up and mailed in for him.
They moved swiftly down the aisles, Agatha plucking items from the shelves with well-trained, practiced precision. Nicky bounced alongside her, occasionally tossing in things like gummy bears and Chips Ahoy. Agatha didn’t mind overall, but she had a system. Coupons stacked, totals already calculated. Every cent thought out and accounted for down to the ha'penny. She’d pay no more than $14.89 and walk out with a haul that should sit around $350 in value. Worked every time and god what a thrill it was to rob the place using its own rules and regulations. Idiots.
“Remember, if we don’t have a coupon, I’ve only budgeted for a few extra things, Nicky.” Agatha threw in a few more items into the cart. “I haven’t paid more than $20 in 3 years, and I’m not about to have you break my streak over some Sour Patch Kids and Dunkaroos.”
As they rounded the next corner into the cleaning supplies aisle, Agatha stopped cold.
There, stood in front of her, was Rio Vidal, looking tall, sharp-eyed, and smug. Dressed in an old dark green corduroy jacket over a fitted white t-shirt and dark jeans tucked into scuffed Doc Martens, she looked every bit the storm Agatha had hoped to avoid.
Rio’s cart was half-full already as she leaned against it, binder wide open and resting casually on the shelf in front of her. Agatha’s stomach sank. Oh, she knew her. Was all too familiar. The woman was almost as notorious as her for the way she swept through grocery stores like a band of apocalyptic raiders.
She hadn’t had the displeasure of having an exchange with her just yet. She’d be damned if it would get in her way, though.
“Excuse me,” Agatha said, forcing a tight smile into place. “Mind if I grab a few of those disinfectant wipes?”
Rio barely looked up, casually flipping through another page of the binder. “Sorry, I’m taking them all. Deal’s too good to pass up.”
Agatha’s eyes flicked over to the empty space where the wipes had been as she turned back to see Rio tossing in the last box. Nicky tugged gently on his mother’s sleeve.
“Mama, are we still winning?”
Agatha’s smile tightened even further, resisting a small eye twitch as she let out a quick huff of air through her nose. “We will be.”
Agatha’s hand reached out, hovering in the air for just a beat too long, considering whether she should just snatch a couple of the boxes from Rio’s cart and deal with the consequences later, or cut her losses. The other woman raised her brow, her hand resting on her hip, enjoying watching the meticulous thought process she could clearly see taking place inside Agatha’s mind.
With an indignant huff, Agatha withdrew her hand, gave a tight nod, and returned to her cart, gripping the bar like her life depended on it.
“Didn’t realize we were shopping like it’s the end of times,” Agatha said coolly, trying to hide her fury, but failing. “You prepping for a pandemic I missed on the news or something?”
Rio shook her head, letting out a slow, entertained laugh. “Are you?” Her eyes drifted to Agatha’s own stockpiled cart and binder. “I don’t think the average household needs 30 bottles of mustard, sweetheart.”
Agatha’s grip tightened more, as if that was even possible. The veins on her hands were clearly popping from under the skin, knuckles sheet white. “Just give me some of the damn boxes!”
Clicking her tongue against her teeth and then sweeping it along the inside of her cheek, Rio turned her cart away from Agatha. “Maybe try getting here a little earlier next time. You look pretty seasoned with those color-coded tabs there; you’d think you’d know rule number 1 of couponing. Slow heels miss deals.”
Agatha’s jaw flexed. “Some of us have kids who need breakfast and pants that aren’t on backwards!”
At this point, Nicky proudly held up one of his legs to show his sweatpants off to Rio. “They have Power Rangers on them!”
Rio smirked. “Oh nice, kid. My favorite is the green one.”
Nicky practically bounced in place. “Mine too!”
It only served to irritate Agatha more that Nicky was getting along with the competition . Her displeasure was written all over her face. Without a second thought, she snatched Nicky’s hand with her own and aggressively pushed her cart forward. “Let’s go, Nicky.”
As she passed by Rio’s cart, she made sure to slam into it harder than Titanic hit that iceberg.
Unfortunately, it didn’t really make her feel any better. She had to swallow down the bitter taste of defeat. She could recover. She would recover. The wipes were a blow, sure, but there were still plenty of other coupons in her arsenal. It was all about the long game and good strategy. She’d still score big on this haul, even with the temporary setback.
Agatha’s cart stopped short of the cereal aisle, about to turn down it for the 12 cents a box deal she had, but she froze when she saw a good chunk of the shelves were empty. Rio must have raided this aisle too.
“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” She swerved her cart hard, clearly getting more frazzled, as she flipped through the pages in the binder.
Her eyes stopped on one coupon she knew would score big. Stacked coupons. Three specific ones exactly. One coupon required her to buy both a bottle of Palmolive Ultra Liquid Dish Soap and a tube of Colgate Optic White Advanced Whitening Toothpaste to save 15% off both. When used with the coupons she got from the Colgate-Palmolive Company for $2.00 off any of their soap products and $2.50 off any of their toothpastes, she reduces the cost even further. Finally, apply the store coupons. $3.00 off any $10 or more purchase of up to 3 items. It would reduce the cost of the soap and toothpaste to just $0.13 each.
A moan slipped out of her mouth as she eyed the paper slip sitting in the binder.
This was just the win she needed after the fiasco with the disinfectant wipes. They weren’t the most glamorous items, it was just soap and toothpaste, after all, but it was a win. She just had to make sure she got both items to trigger the stacked deal.
Agatha didn’t hesitate booking it down the health & hygiene aisle. She scanned the shelves with a trained eye and sure enough, there it was. A single tube of the toothpaste resting on the shelf, ready for the taking. A gleam of hope entered her eyes. She could practically hear those discounts calling her name.
Buy me, Agatha. Buy me!
There was just a single objective in mind as she swooped in to snatch it up, dropping it into her cart with a satisfying clatter. Sweet victory.
There was hardly a moment to savor it, though, as another cart strolled up next to hers.
“Oh no you didn’t.” Rio said, mock horror clearly evident in her voice. “You took the last one?”
Agatha didn’t look up to acknowledge her. “Who’s slow now?”
Rio sighed. “Look, I need that to finish a deal with my detergent.” Rio held up the bottle like it was a golden ticket. “I’ve got a three dollar overage riding on this.”
Agatha leaned against her cart, looking rather smug with herself. “Well, darn. Wish I could help out.”
Instead of getting upset, like Agatha had anticipated, Rio actually grinned. She set the detergent bottle back in her cart and tilted her head in thought. “So that’s how we’re playing this? Aggressive. I like it.”
“This isn’t some game.” Agatha snapped back. Why was this woman so infuriating ? Why wasn’t she mad? Agatha had ruined her deal!
Rio leaned over her own cart with casual ease. “Sure it is. You just don’t like losing.”
Agatha’s spine stiffened. “I don’t lose.”
Rio subtly brushed her hands against the box of disinfectant wipes, her expression maddeningly serene. “Whatever you say.”
Agatha was seething. Still, she couldn’t forget that she still had the upper hand in this exchange. Rio may have the wipes, costing Agatha some savings there, but it wouldn’t mess up any of her other transactions. This? Well, if Rio wanted her detergent, this would cost her.
“Tell you what,” Rio continued, voice smooth like honey. “I’ll offer you a trade. Sweeten the deal a little, hm? You give me that toothpaste, I’ll throw in two frozen meal coupons, full value, no exclusions. And…” Rio fished through her binder. “How about some extra ones for gluten-free mac n cheese and a BOGO on hot dogs?”
There was some slight hesitation as Agatha considered the deal. Theoretically, Agatha could get more savings for the offered coupons, but was it enough incentive to break up her holy trinity of stacked coupons?
“Come on. I’m offering you a win/win situation here." Rio held the coupons out. “You get the satisfaction of saving more money and you’ll actually be getting something your kid will want to eat, am I right?” Agatha narrowed her eyes. “It’s a peace offering. I don’t want to lose that deal.”
Agatha shifted her focus back to the toothpaste that sat perched at the top of the pile in her cart, then back up to Rio’s overly pleasant face. She didn’t like how easy Rio made it all seem; like she had everything under control. Like she was doing Agatha a favor.
Had this been Rio’s plan all along? Rile her up just to sweet talk her to get in her good graces and then steal her precariously strategized super savings right out from under her like some kind of discount viper in the bargain bin? She’d be damned if she’d fall for that.
“Tempting,” Agatha said slowly, sucking on her teeth to keep to her disdain in check. “But, no.”
Rio raised an eyebrow, genuinely surprised. “No?”
“No.” Agatha said with a finality that wouldn’t allow further discussion. “It’s not personal. I just don’t negotiate with terrorists.”
After a moment of silence, Rio nearly doubled over from the laughter she couldn’t contain. It went on for at least a solid minute before she wiped tears away that had pooled in the corner of her eyes. “Then why are you glaring at me over a tube of Colgate and trying to outmaneuver my own deals like we’re in some kind of hostage negotiation? You could make mental gymnastics into an Olympic sport at this rate.”
Agatha scrunched her nose indignantly; this wasn’t a laughing matter and she hated feeling mocked even more.
Rio couldn’t hold back the small bubbles of laughter that still were coming. “Just keep the toothpaste”
From the corner of her eye, Agatha saw Nicky perk up and point to something in Rio’s cart. It was a colorful box of Scooby Doo shaped fruit snacks.
“Mama, can I get those too?” He looked up at her hopefully with puppy dog eyes and a slight pout.
Agatha glanced down at him, a small sigh leaving her. “No, hun. You know the rules. You only get 2 things and you already picked them out, remember?”
“But-”
“No buts, you can either put something back, or we don’t need it. Understood?”
Nicky looked a little crushed, but gave a single solemn nod. He scuffed the tip of his shoe against the linoleum floor of the store as he stared at the ground in disappointment.
Without a word, Rio fished the box from her cart and gently dropped it into Agatha’s. Agatha flinched as the box clattered in.
“What do you think you’re doing?” She snapped.
Rio just passed over a folded up coupon. “It’s free. Coupon covers one free box with no additional purchase needed. That brand always gives me extras and I don’t really need it.” Rio shrugged. “Besides, it’ll make him happy.”
Agatha stared at the coupon, reading it over. It was as Rio said; one box free, no additional purchases necessary. It was technically a promotional coupon for a rebranding campaign. Damn. So, she's playing dirty .
“Bribery will get you nowhere.”
“You know, some people just like being nice, right?”
A huff left Agatha, a slow stream of controlled air as she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Some people could certainly be nice, but they were fools. Nice people took a backseat in life. Nice people let other people walk all over them, let themselves be taken advantage of with their big hearts and selfless consideration. No, people had to play ruthlessly if they wanted to get what they wanted out of life. You don’t get the best deals considering the interests of others. There was only one reason Agatha was here for, the best deal for the most she could get. Other people be damned!
“Let’s not pretend you’re doing me any favors.” Agatha placed the coupon in her binder with the others she planned to use today. Nicky looked awkwardly between Rio and his mom, unsure what to say.
She saw Nicky shifting out of the corner of her eye and spared him a glance. He was practically vibrating with excitement, which only served to make her feel guilty for fighting this so hard. It would be cruel to lash out because someone was doing something nice for her own kid, but it was the principle of the matter! She didn’t want him being exploited as some chess piece to screw her over.
Rio just offered a soft smile as she saw how Nicky was trying to tamper down his excitement, his fingers twitching in anticipation to grab the box of fruit snacks, but patiently resisting the urge to instead. It was cute.
“Look, I just didn’t need the coupon. It’s not a big deal. Just call it a good deed and move on.” Rio started to push her own cart forward, but Agatha’s hand shot out and grasped it, stopping her from passing.
“I don’t need your charity, Rio .” Her blue eyes pierced into Rio’s own brown orbs, neither woman looking away.
Rio hesitated at the sound of her name on the other woman’s lips. It was one thing to run across your average Karen throwing tantrums over not getting their way in the store, but it was another for that Karen to know you by name.
She took a second to really look over the woman. Nothing inherently set off any alarm bells in her head. She had slightly unkempt brown hair swept into a messy bun, a few strands falling loose around her face. Her purple sweater was cozy and soft-looking, stretched slightly at the cuffs from wear, paired with well-loved jeans and comfortable slip-on sneakers that had clearly seen one too many school drop-offs.
Something caught her eye, though, as she lingered momentarily on her chest. A necklace sat comfortably just above her breasts with a small locket that depicted 3 distinct women on the design. Rio thought for a second about where she had seen it, her eyes widening when she realized.
“You’re Agatha Harkness?”
A grin appeared on her face. “My reputation precedes me, I see.”
Rio rolled her eyes. “More like your icon on Creddit matches the design on your necklace.”
Agatha huffed. Of course Rio would happen to remember her icon on that couponing forum. That’s how she’d known of Rio in the first place. It would make sense she’d seen Agatha around too, but of all the things to remember her for it was her icon ? Not her strategies, not her reputation in local grocery chains, just maiden, mother, crone . Oh, she could practically hear her mother laughing at her. All her hard work overshadowed and reduced to a depiction of a family heirloom.
Meanwhile, Agatha could recall all of Rio’s activities from her content. Online, Rio was often seen sharing quick quips and consistent screenshots of low-balance receipts. She’d been extremely proud of a recent transaction where she’d gotten money back from her purchases. Agatha had side-eyed that one more times than she cared to admit. It was…admirable, and oddly attractive.
They’d barely interacted on the site, but Agatha always kept tabs. Every face reveal, every screenshot, every shitpost. She saw it all. But now, standing face-to-face with the woman that she held a notable admiration and envy for, stirred other feelings in her. Annoyance, jealousy, an inane desire to prove she was better, but…something else too. A sort of thrill that settled into the pit of her stomach and made her mouth run dry. She wasn’t sure how to feel about it.
“Well, this has been…quaint, but those deals won’t cash in themselves.” Agatha released her grip on Rio’s cart and swiftly pushed her own, making a beeline for the dairy aisle.
Nicky seemed a bit startled by the sudden change and hustled behind her like a small duckling. Before he got too far down, he turned back and ran to give Rio a small hug on her leg.
“Thank you for the snacks, Miss Rio.”
Rio’s heart warmed as she ruffled his hair and nudged him back towards his mother. “Don’t let her catch you with the enemy. She might hang you for treason.”
“Mama only gets like this in grocery stores.” he whispered so his mother wouldn’t overhear them. “She’s just horny when she’s here.”
Rio’s eyebrows shot up on her forehead and her eyes nearly bugged out of her skull. “What!?”
Nicky, unfazed by what he had said, just continued, “Mama calls me that when she says I’m misbehaving.”
“ Ornery. ” Rio breathed out, finally processing what Nicky actually meant. Kids just say anything these days.
“Nicholas!”
His head whipped up when he heard his full name called. Agatha was at the end of the aisle already, tapping her foot. He sheepishly turned and waved at Rio then scurried down to meet up with her.
Agatha looked down at her son, hand on her hip, waiting for an explanation.
“What?! Mama she’s nice!” Nicky protested.
She sighed and just waved him on. “Come on, we need to finish this up so we can checkout and go home. I’ll still need to put all this away.”
There were still plenty of items left on the list of things she knew she absolutely had to buy, but despite the small hiccups and distractions, everything still should come out roughly around what she had calculated to save and spend for the trip.
Agatha turned down the chip aisle, pausing only briefly to throw in 4 bags of Skinny Pop. Nicky was just glad it was popcorn that didn’t taste bad this time. He didn’t think he could stand another off-brand knock off like last time. Although, that one time they bought Lulu’s Lemon Bars hadn’t been too bad.
The cart was starting to look sufficiently overloaded as per usual by the time they made it to the end of the store. There were only a few more items to check off.
Frozen chicken nuggets.
Water bottles.
Paper towels.
Nicky was already starting to look a bit tired. Normally, he was a pretty good sport, but these trips could literally take hours with how much planning went into them and he was so bored. He’d already picked out all his snacks, and at this point all he wanted to do was go home and play Fortnite.
Agatha could see the change in his demeanor as she flipped through the binder one last time, doing a final assessment. She was more than happy to have his company; it was always easier having a helper when she was doing these trips, but she could tell he was running out of steam fast.
An idea popped into her head that she thought might make things more fun for him.
Agatha walked over to the paper towels, looking at a package of 6. She went to lift it.
“Oh my god! What do they make these things with! It’s so heavy!” Agatha pretended to struggle with lifting the package.
Nicky perked up and looked over at her confused. “Do you need help, Mama?”
Agatha made an overly embellished display of throwing out her back. “Please!”
“I’ve got it!” Nicky hurried over and grabbed the paper towels, lifting it with ease. He looked down at them and then back at his mother. “Mama, you lied. This isn’t heavy.”
Agatha smirked and shrugged. “Guess you’re just stronger than me. Think you can handle two of them?”
With a confident look and a puffed up little chest, Nicky nodded. He tucked one package under one arm and grabbed another bundle to do the same with the other. Nicky was barely able to hold them, using the full length of his arm across the tops and grasping them on the side as best he could while bracing them against his torso. Agatha had to hold a laugh in.
“Good job, Nicky.” She started to push the cart as Nicky followed behind her. Occasionally, she would glance back to see him semi-waddling down the aisle with the paper towels. It was cute, but absolutely absurd with how comically large they looked in his arms.
Agatha threw in a small carton of water under the cart and then turned into the last aisle they needed before they left. Frozen foods.
Luckily, they didn’t need too much from the aisle. It was really just the frozen nuggets. Any other day, she may have skipped out on grabbing them, seeing as it was at the tail end of their shopping trip, but she couldn’t pass up grabbing 10 bags. With the right stacks, she’d calculated she could get the cost of each bag down to about $1.47 each before stacking with some other coupons she had.
Just as she reached for the handle on the freezer door, Agatha heard a sneaker squeak against the floor obnoxiously and snapped her gaze down the aisle. In front of the frozen meals was Rio, wafting the coupons she had previously offered back and forth, smirking like she won the lottery.
Agatha felt a surge of anger power through her with enough force to make her lightheaded. Behind her, she heard a freezer door open quietly, the subtle sound of the vacuum seal on the door giving it away. She turned to see Nicky reaching for his favorite ice cream.
“Nicholas Scratch Harkness!” She scolded, making him jump and release the freezer. It resealed moments after. “No more snacks. You’re capped out, mister.”
He sheepishly nodded his head, “Sorry, Mama.”
Agatha turned back in time to see Rio tossing her last frozen meal into her overflowing cart. The other woman tucked those coupons back into her binder that she had resting on the seat where children typically sit.
Rio gave a friendly two finger salute to Agatha before turning and pushing her cart away. She watched her go, jaw tight, stomach once again knotting with something she didn’t care to name.
How was she still so calm and casual about all of this? Like she hadn’t just spent a good part of her shopping trip completely derailing Agatha’s entire shopping spree with nothing more than a smile and her lax indifference? It was aggravating to say the least.
As Rio walked away, her eyes drifted downward before she could stop them; the way Rio’s jeans hugged her hips, the easy sway of her stride down the aisle like she owned it, like she knew Agatha was watching.
Agatha yanked her gaze away so fast she nearly gave herself whiplash.
Absolutely not.
She turned sharply and grasped the freezer door she had yet to open and flung it open with the force of a woman desperately trying to expunge the thoughts out of her brain through sheer willpower alone. The vacuum seal on the door didn’t even register this time.
Rio was nothing more than an inconvenience, an annoyance, an afterthought. She wouldn’t be defeated by carnal cravings and a friendly face…and those toned arms…and legs for days…and, oh for the love of God, who gave her permission to look that good in a tight pair of jeans?
She was really starting to hate this store.
Agatha bit down so hard on her lip she was sure she could have drawn blood as she grabbed bag after bag of frozen nuggets. She couldn’t get that image out of her head though. Her face felt hot as the cold air of the freezer brushed against it with each pass of her hand into the unit.
She couldn’t help that her mind aimlessly wandered as she thought about Rio’s laughter, and what kind of perfume she wore. What did her stockpile look like in her home? Did she coupon in old shirts and sweats or maybe a crop top and booty shorts–
“Mama, are you mad?” came Nicky’s small voice beside her, interrupting her again. Right, Nicky was here. Had he just been watching her internal breakdown? She hoped not.
“No,” her voice incredibly clipped. “Why would you think that?”
“Because your face is all pink and you’re grabbing the red bags, but I think the coupons are for the green ones.” Nicky pointed out.
Agatha froze mid-grab, looking down at the Tyson brand chicken held firmly between her curled fingers. “No, that can’t be right.” Agatha looked back at the binder and found the coupon, and sure enough the deal was for Just Bare brand chicken, not Tyson. “Fucking bitch .”
“Mama, that’s a bad word.”
“Thank you, Nicky.” Agatha pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand.
With a slow exhale of breath, Agatha closed her eyes and tried to re-center herself like her therapist had recommended. In for 4, hold for 4, out for 4. This was just a…temporary setback in an already tumultuous chain of inconvenient setbacks, but it would be fine.
“Focus.” Agatha reminded herself. “You’re just getting groceries. Your calculations are sound. Things will be fine…even if that hag tried to sabotage you.”
“Mama–”
“ I know, Nicky . No more bad words.”
She quickly corrected her mistake and swapped the bags out, tossing them haphazardly onto the top of the already full cart.
“We’re all done, Nicky. Time for checkout.” Agatha steered the cart down the aisle, Nicky still waddling next to her carrying the two huge packages of paper towels under each arm.
As they pulled up to the checkout lanes, Agatha scanned over them trying to assess which lane would be the best. She wasn’t about to spend all day standing at a counter with some new hire or old bat that couldn’t read the numbers to punch in the coupons correctly. She’d made that mistake far many times in her earlier years of couponing and she could, in fact, confirm that watching paint dry would have gone by faster. Additionally, if she got an employee that seemed to be having a particularly bad day, they’d likely fight her on every coupon she tried to use.
No, she needed someone that was amicable to do the mundane. Someone that just wanted to get through the work day and would take this as an opportunity to just move things along as quickly as possible if it meant their shift went by faster, rather than question anything.
Her eyes landed on a particularly chipper man that seemed to be making conversation with whomever was at the conveyor belt. She couldn’t quite see who he was conversing with behind him, but it didn’t matter. The guy looked all too happy with just job and was yapping away while he scanned aimlessly. Bingo. Agatha pushed her cart towards his lane, but froze when she did finally see who he was assisting.
Rio.
Her hands tightened on the bar of the cart again. How was she always one step ahead of her? Damn it, she didn’t have a choice but to find another lane. It would take too long to wait for Rio to finish her transaction and she wasn’t about to stand pathetically behind her while she rode the high of her own savings.
Agatha tried to move away but the cashier waved them over. “I’ll take you here, ma’am.”
Great.
Agatha didn’t look at Rio as she strolled up into the lane right beside hers. Unfortunately, she wasn’t lucky enough to have been spared more insufferable banter.
“Sup! Didn’t know we were doing synchronized checkouts today. What a happy coincidence, huh?” Despite not looking over her shoulder to see Rio, she could already hear the teasing tone the other woman was using.
“Hi, again!” Nicky waved at Rio. He was barely tall enough to see over the conveyor belt, but he made it work as he jumped and waved.
Meanwhile, Agatha had already started unloading her cart with a speed and efficiency that came only from someone who’d practised this. Items went down in a specific order: cold stuff, dry goods, high discount items last ; that step was important.
As item after item was placed down, Agatha’s eye caught the cashier she had been saddled with. She was a young woman, maybe mid-20s, wearing a name tag that read Ashley. Her long, curly red hair was tied back loosely, a few rebellious strands framing her face. The girl practically radiated helpfulness; greeting Agatha with a bright, genuine smile that suggested she actually meant it when she asked how your day was going.
Overall, odds were good this would be a smooth transaction. People happy to help almost always tried to make sure the customers got what they wanted, rather than be confrontational. Yes, this would work.
Agatha was only halfway through unloading her card when she heard the male cashier that was helping Rio whistle. She looked up briefly to see that Rio had spread out her coupons on the belt, fanning them out like a winning poker hand that was about to bring home the pot.
“Sorry for the inconvenience. I hope it isn’t too much trouble.” Agatha heard Rio offer.
“Nonsense! That’s what these are for. It’s really impressive.” He responded back.
Dammit, she’d been right.
Agatha glanced at Rio’s total, curiosity getting the better of her. $396.24. Not bad given the cart quantity. She wondered what her bottom line would be when she was done though. Granted, she had her own total to worry about.
Thinking back to her own numeric calculations, she reminded herself that her estimation should land her somewhere around the $350 range, ending with a total of roughly $14.89 with Nicky’s extra 2 budgeted additions. Odds were good the total would be lower without the disinfectant wipes and cereal boxes to consider in the purchase as well.
With the last item on the conveyor, Agatha crossed her arm and leaned back against the cart, waiting for Ashley to ring her up.
Nicky knew what this meant for his mother. She always tried to play it off like she didn’t really care, but Nicky could always tell when her body language shifted just a little differently. She was anxious as the total went higher and higher. It never mattered that Agatha knew she was going to be tallying large amounts of money, it still made her heart hammer loudly in her chest and a little wave of nausea washed over her from the anxiety.
Nicky’s smaller hand slipped into hers, keeping her grounded. She gave a little squeeze in silent thanks.
Every beep of the scanner made her heart jump a little bit as item after item was swiped. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed as the cashier worked her way gradually through each item.
Behind her, Agatha heard the man give a small cheer after clicking away at some of the keys on the register.
“Your final total is $9.85 with a total savings of $386.39!”
As Agatha turned her head to look, she saw Rio was already looking right back at her, lips quirked up into a small smirk. She watched with bated breath as Rio fished out a $20 bill and passed it over to the cashier. The cashier proceeded to calculate her change and hand it back.
Rio held her hands out for the coins, but didn’t take the $10 from him. “Keep it, for your time and patience.” She then slipped the coins into her pocket, leaving him to keep the bill.
“Really? Thank you!” He beamed.
The man then proceeded to help Rio bag her groceries in the reusable totes she had brought in and carefully stacked them back into her cart.
Agatha glowered at the display. Whatever, this wasn’t about Rio. This was still about her own savings. It wasn’t about who had the highest total or who saved the most, this was about hitting her own goals. Yet, some part of her still felt bitter.
Finally, Agatha’s items were completely scanned, leaving her to look at her own total at the register. The total flashed $335.16. A little lower than she had anticipated, but that just meant her final total would likely be lower than her estimated outcome as well.
As she fished out the coupons from her own binder, Rio pushed her cart up to the end of their lane, pausing just long enough to lean against her car and flash a grin at them.
“Hey, good luck ringing up there. Hope you get that low total.” Her voice sounded almost too saccharine for Agatha’s liking. “And, no hard feelings about that toothpaste deal. I found a way to recover there.”
To add insult to injury, Agatha had to watch as Rio took the time to place one of the boxes of disinfectant wipes into a bag for Agatha, winking as she did so.
“See you around.” With a final wave to the pair, she headed toward the sliding doors at the front of the store and out to her car.
Agatha’s hand tightened around Nicky’s briefly, but she refocused on the register. The cashier had already begun scanning her coupons one by one. She tracked each discount like a hawk, mentally calculating in tandem as the numbers decreased with each scan.
Everything was going to plan. She had this down to the very decimal. This would be just like every other time she did this. Breathe. Trust the process.
“Alright,” the cashier said, punching in the final key. “Your final total comes out to $20.01!”
Agatha blinked.
“What?”
The cashier took the time to turn the screen around for her, a broad smile plastered on her face. “$20.01! You saved a huge $315.15 today! Congratulations!”
To any other person, a savings of $315.15 would have had them popping champagne and feeling like they’d just struck gold, but to Agatha it felt like a dagger through the heart.
“No,” she said slowly, voice thin and sharp. She was struggling to keep her tone even. “It should have been $14.89. I calculated it down to the tax. Down to the tax! You’re wrong. You made a mistake.”
The cashier looked back at the screen, then down at the coupons confused. “Uh, well, the system scanned everything correctly…I mean the coupons all went through, but–”
“I haven’t gone over $20 in 3 years. 3 years!” Agatha was practically hissing the words out through her teeth now, her eyes darting across the receipt that had just printed, scouring it obsessively for some kind of error. “Did you scan something more than once? You have to have missed a coupon. Where’s the missing coupon! There’s one for the granola bars…I checked all the expiration dates! I know I did!”
She flipped through her binder, thumbing through each page with breakneck speeds, searching, grasping, panicking, begging for a mistake that didn’t belong to her to appear. She came up empty.
Every coupon that she had prepared for this trip had been scanned, accounted for, and was applied correctly. There didn’t appear to be a feasible reason why Agatha’s total was well over her calculated total. She stared blankly at the green numbers that stared back at her, mocking her, from the small rectangular screen atop the register.
$20.01
“Mama?” Nicky finally worked up the nerve to speak, concern for his mother evident. He had moved from her side halfway through the coupon scanning to begin bagging the groceries in their totes. He was currently trying to stack some boxes of pasta in a bag by size.
Agatha closed her eyes, her mouth forming into a thin line. “It’s… fine. ”
It was not fine.
Outside, through the glass doors of the store, Agatha could see Rio loading the last bag from her cart into her vehicle with the ease of someone that was thriving off the high of their purchase.
Agatha narrowed her eyes as she watched Rio slide on a pair of sunglasses, the lenses flashing in the sunlight. The woman was quite literally radiating .
The vision stirred a deep loathing in Agatha’s chest. Rio had to have known. She knew she had thrown her off her game. Those pleasantries wouldn’t fool her.
Hey, good luck ringing up there. Hope you get that low total.
The words echoed in her head. This has been her plan all along. It must have been. The all too kind smile, the wink, the free fruit snacks coupon, the swaying of the hips in those fucking jeans! It was all tactical warfare! Rio wasn’t being friendly, no, she wanted Agatha to fail. Had thrown her off at every opportunity just hoping she had made a mistake, and Agatha fell right into it.
She was livid.
Nicky finally held up the last bag. “Mama? I’m all done!”
She took the bag from him with robotic precision, tossing it back into their cart without another thought. “We’re going home.”
Agatha dug into her wallet and slammed a $20 bill onto the counter. She then fished out a single penny.
In that moment, as she stared down at the face of Abraham Lincoln on that small copper coated coin, some part of her truly resonated with the disdain John Wilkes Booth must have had.
Agatha threw it down, not sparing it another glance, as she angrily shoved her cart towards the shop doors.
Her prestigiously earned 3 year streak was broken and it was entirely the fault of Rio Vidal.
This. Meant. War.