Chapter Text
Aurélie Bouchard – July 31st, 1980
The first thing Aurélie felt after the blackness was pain. Her body being pushed and pulled through what felt like a tube.
Why does it hurt so much? What’s happening to me? Didn’t I die?
The sudden brightness that followed was accompanied by voices.
“Oh Lily, she’s so beautiful.”
“Honey she’s perfect”
Aurélie blinked slowly a few times. The sounds were too loud, and the shapes too blurry.
What had she just been doing?
She had died, right? That truck came around the bend too fast. It was headed right for her. She couldn’t get out of the way in time. The images flashed though her mind and she shuddered.
“What did you name her?”
“Her name will be Aster Alya. A flower for me and a star for Sirius.”
Now that caught Aurélie’s attention. Was she in the hospital somehow? With the TV on? The name Sirius was unusual and was tugging on her brain, but she couldn’t remember why.
Suddenly, she noticed she was being held.
Like a baby.
Nope. No, no, no, not happening. What a weird dream.
She tried to move her arms and legs to get up but struggled. Why were they so heavy? So hard to control?
The voices were talking more, and she really wanted to pay attention, but it was too much.
Too much happening. Too many thoughts, too many feelings. She hadn’t even dealt with dying. Almost dying? Either way, it hadn’t been fully addressed yet and was just piling on the things she had to worry about right now.
She just wanted to cry. Then, all she could hear were the piercing wails of a baby.
“Crisse, someone shut them up, it’s too loud,” she tried to yell through her tears, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead, for a few seconds the screaming changed to a garbling noise. Startled, Aurélie stopped crying. The sounds of a wailing baby stopped immediately.
Nope, no, no, no, no, no. That cannot be it. I cannot be a baby again. Ça a pas d’allure.
“Lily, your baby looks constipated”
“Sirius!”
“Pads,” laughter followed.
“What!? She was screaming and crying and then just stopped. And now she looks like she needs to take a shit.”
“Sirius Black! Watch your language around my baby!”
More laughter.
“What, it’s not like she’ll pick any of it up, she’s a baby.”
“Do babies learn that fast?”
“James!”
“Okay Pads, lets step out for a few minutes and give her some time to rest and hopefully not hex us or anything. She did just have a baby.”
This was too concerning. Baby or not. Dead or not, whatever. Nothing some sleep can’t fix. She decided to ignore the bell of recognition that rang in her brain with every name she heard.
And thus, the newly dubbed Aster Alya Potter Black, previously known as Aurélie Charlotte Bouchard, fell asleep in an attempt to avoid all her problems.
Lily Potter – July 31st, 1980
Lily Potter looked down at her baby. She was perfect. She had a slight mop of black on her head and soft grey eyes. Lily wondered if they would stay grey, or if they would change to green as she grew. She supposed it could go either way, seeing as Sirius contributed the fatherhood portion after they discovered James couldn’t have children, and the Black genes were strong. Which, how were they even that strong after all the inbreeding?
She hoped they would be green though. She had always wanted to pass down her green eyes to her children. Aster had finally settled after her small screaming session, which she had abruptly put a stop to after startling herself by garbling.
James and Sirius ducked their heads back in.
“Hey Lils, we didn’t hear any more crying, did she settle down?” James spoke softly, trying not to wake up the newborn. Or piss off his wife.
“She’s asleep. All that crying probably tired her out,” was her quiet reply as she smiled at her daughter.
Sirius followed James in, “She really is beautiful Lils,” he complimented earnestly.
“Pads…”
Lily cut her husband off, “Thank you so much Sirius.”
“Oh, come on Prongs, you don’t have to thank me, you’re my brother. I did what any good brother would do,” Sirius started laughing quietly, “got your wife pregnant.”
James joined in laughing, and Lily rolled her eyes.
“We will never stop thanking you Sirius,” Lily whispered, “and she’s yours too.”
“Lils is right, Padfoot. She’s ours. Our three of us.”
The three new parents smiled, looking down at the newborn in Lily Potter’s arms. Not thinking of the war looming over their heads, if only just for a few minutes. Content in their moment of joy amongst the fear and disarray clouding their lives.
Happy.
Aurélie Bouchard – January 14th, 1981
Aurélie tried to adapt quickly to her new life as Aster Potter, but the dissonance of two lives and two identities in her head didn’t help her attempts. And being treated like a baby sucked. She was twenty-four, an adult! She had a full-time job and a master’s degree, but here she was being breast fed by Lily fucking Potter.
She was also struggling with the thought of her new “parents” being real people and not characters. It had taken her a few days, but she finally realized why she recognized all the names around her. After a few months, when she was finally able to see properly again, she recognized them too. James Potter, Lily Potter, and Sirius Black. Somehow, she was Harry Potter or at least some version of him.
After six months, she still hadn’t started responding to “Aster”, leading to slight concern from Sirius and James. She was currently enjoying the free entertainment of a Sirius-freakout. They happened at least once a week.
“What if it’s because she hates her name? I know you picked Aster since it’s a flower and means star and that was nice of you to do but what if she’s not responding because she hates it?”
Sirius tended to ramble when he was uncomfortable, and he seemed to be in a constant state of discomfort around Aurélie. She assumed he felt inadequate as a father, possibly to do with the family he was always shit-talking. Mommy issues much?
“Sirius calm down…” Lily tried to comfort the pacing man.
He continued rambling, “And it’s all my fault because of the star names in my family and I know you were trying to be nice and all, especially with the middle name too…”
“Sirius Orion Black take a breath!” commanded Lily.
He started pacing, looking at Lily with tears in his eyes. Aurélie thought very little of the man. When she was his age, she didn’t cry. Even as a born-again baby she’d only cried the once. He needed to grow up.
“Sirius,” Lily spoke slowly as if Sirius was the toddler, “we chose the name because we all liked it. And you’re her father too. Don’t forget that. You are as much her parent as we are.”
Aurélie would snort if she had that much control over her baby-body. The man wasn’t fit to be a parent, and he knew it. The Potter’s should’ve just let him sperm donate and be done with it.
“Sirius, she’s a baby. She doesn’t have to recognize her name yet. It has nothing to do with whether or not she likes it.”
Oh, it very much had to do with preferences. Her old name was beautiful. Aurélie Charlotte Bouchard rolled off the tongue like music. Aster Potter was so… bleh.
“Sirius…” Lily was still trying to convince the man-boy while he stewed in self-hatred.
He finally acquiesced, “Alright, Lily.”
Sirius Black – March 4th, 1981
Sirius looked down at the child. She was small, though growing steadily. Lily’s eyes had taken over the newborn-grey and the green hue was brightening every day, but he only had to glance at her other features to see that she was a Black. Was his.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had never planned for a child, never even wanted one. He left his family for a reason: the Blacks were not good at raising their children. He knew no matter how much he tried he could never be a good father, probably never even an acceptable father.
This baby did not deserve to be stuck with him, she deserved James, deserved Lily. Deserved parents who could try to be, and would be, good.
When his friend had asked him for help with having a child, he knew he had to put his selfishness aside and help. James was his brother in all but blood. Charlus and Dorea had taken him in after he fled his home, Dorea being especially helpful as she knew how the family could be. He owed so much to James, so much to the Potters that the least he could do was give his brother and Lily what they wanted more than anything.
So he had.
He had provided what James could not and the child was born. James and Lily were so obviously ecstatic, and he had expected to fade into the background, be an uncle or godfather, love the child from afar as the child of his friends, not his own. But they had insisted that he be involved. That he was as much a parent as they were.
He did not know how to tell his brother that he never wanted to be one. So, once again, he placed his selfishness in a box and tried his best. He stayed with James and Lily throughout the pregnancy and continued to stay after the child was born. He tried to convince James to blood-adopt her, to make himself the official father while Sirius could be relegated to a godparent, but James had refused. He insisted that muggle adoption was enough, and he would be a godparent on the wizarding side. The child could still have the Potter name and inherit both estates. James saw no difference.
“As long as she is loved,” his brother had announced.
Sirius still did not know how to bring up his own selfishness.
James and Lily would be wonderful parents. He was broken goods, from a long line of broken goods. He could only hope Lily’s blood would negate the madness tainting his own, that the child would not suffer more from this misfortune of being born from his blood.
He opened his eyes and looked at her again. She stared back at him, no tears, no laughter, no reaction. According to James, never any reaction. Lily remained unconcerned, but Sirius was scared since James was concerned. What if his blood had managed to damage the child somehow? He would not be surprised if it had.
James had so much faith in him, ignoring the horribleness and insanity that was his family, his magic, his blood.
He could only hope that staying away from the child as much as possible would help her end up something better, something not so… him.
He had started to slip out more and more to go fight. There was a war going on, providing ample opportunity to get his stress out the only way he knew how. If there was one thing he was good at, it was causing destruction. His family had taught him that much. His leaving was best for all of them, he could help win the war and protect his brother, Lily, and the child.
“I am sorry,” he murmured to the child as she watched him from her crib, those glowing green orbs staring emotionless at him, “it will be better once I am gone.”
A slight glint appeared in her eyes, almost comprehension. He managed a small smile towards the crib before slipping out of the nursery and down the hall, off to tell James he had to run errands for Dumbledore.
They would all be better off without him.
Aurélie Bouchard – August 22nd, 1981
Aurélie slowly grew used to her new living arrangements but remained Aurélie in her own mind, still annoyed with the strikingly English name. At least the accents here were vaguely interesting. They were nothing compared to where she grew up, but anything could beat what she had to deal with in university. She should never have listened to her father’s suggestion of finishing her degree in Ottawa.
Sirius would disappear for weeks at a time; on missions she assumed. She figured the war was going strong outside the walls of the Potter household. That would explain why she’d only seen Remus Lupin a few times. If she remembered correctly, he would be trying to convince the werewolves to join Dumbledore’s Army, or whatever the adults called themselves.
She tried to remember what it was called. She knew it had been one of the book titles, maybe the sixth? Her knowledge regarding Harry Potter was entirely random and half based on fanon. She could remember some character’s middle names and houses but not the damn book titles. She hadn’t read the books or seen the movies in years, opting for the world building of independent writers. And the smut.
Wasn’t there something about the Potters not trusting Lupin enough to not be a spy? Just because he was a werewolf. Fair weather friends, indeed. Well, technically, one of their friends did betray them, but it wasn’t the “dark creature”.
Was that bigotry? Were the Potters bigots? And they were fighting against other bigots?
What was up with this plotline? If she remembered one thing it was that a bunch of characters sucked.
She decided that it was much too early in her apparent isekai into a second life for a complete philosophical breakdown over the catastrophe that she recalled the Harry Potter universe’s political and social climate to be. She’d address that later.
Maybe.
Definitely not when she was a year old again and couldn’t speak properly.
Aurélie tried to remember when the Potter’s had died in the books. Was it the Halloween after Harry’s first birthday? That would be in a few months. Well, unless she currently wasn’t in canon Harry Potter. And things were already different here anyways.
Sirius Black was her biological father in this universe, not a godfather like she was pretty sure he was to Harry. She thought that James Potter had adopted her but wasn’t positive. She had chosen to sleep a lot recently SINCE SHE WAS NOW A BABY AGAIN.
So, even if she was a Potter through adoption or blood adoption, if that was an actual thing and not just a fanon thing, she, once again, didn’t know, she was a Black first. That could change things. Also, she was a girl. Harry Potter had been a boy, obviously. Why was this universe different? Why did she remember her life before? Why was she here now?
Based on all these factors, Aurélie decided it was safe to assume that she was not in the normal canon Harry Potter, books or movies. But what else has changed? Was the prophesy different? It would have to be, right? Had it said boy? It would need to either say child now, or Neville Longbottom was the only way to go for Voldy. Maybe then the Potters would live. Or possibly go the way of Neville’s parents and be ruthlessly tortured into insanity by some insane magic nazis.
Well, there was no way to know until Halloween.
Aurélie Bouchard – September 30th, 1981
Aurélie was still not adjusting to her new life. She had fully accepted that she was not having some weird dream or hallucination thingy, but she still refused to grow close to her new “parents”. She saw no reason if they would just die soon anyways. And Sirius would get thrown in jail, assumably.
Unless she didn’t become the girl-who-lived.
But she was sure something unfortunate would happen, seeing as how she was apparently reincarnated into a literal book. With all the canonical parent death, this might as well be a Disney movie.
James, Lily, and Sirius, when he was home, had obviously noticed her disconnect from them. They were always trying to get her to babble, giggle, or even just react to them at all. She refused to do any of that. She might be a baby physically, but in her mind, she was twenty-five. She counted the year she had lived in this second life on top of her first for a grand total of: not enough years over two lives.
She didn’t know how babies were supposed to speak or behave other than being frightfully annoying, which she refused to partake in. She refused to lower herself to the incessant crying that she assumed babies generally engaged in. She was an adult, and coming off as a quiet baby was probably less off-putting to the Potters than her sharing complex thoughts and visions of the future.
James Potter – October 2nd, 1981
James looked down at Aster Alya, which is what they had started calling her after she had a slight reaction to the name one time, as she pushed her peas around her and wondered if it was normal for babies to roll their eyes. Alya obviously didn’t like peas, but she never threw tantrums over having them on her plate. She would simply push them around with her adorable little baby hands until she gave up, rolled her eyes, and slowly ate them. Usually, this was accompanied by what appeared to be a grimace. He didn’t even think babies could grimace.
“Hey Lils?” he called, watching his unusual daughter roll around her peas.
“Yes, love?” came the distracted reply from the other room.
“Can babies grimace?” he asked.
Alya looked up at him from her peas, tilted her head, and rolled her eyes. Again.
“That cannot be normal,” James whispered to himself.
“She’s a baby, James,” Lily yelled from the other room, “she can make whatever faces she wants, especially since you keep giving her peas when she doesn’t like them.”
James sighed.
“Could you call me dada? Say dada,” he pleaded at his disinterested toddler.
Alya looked down at her peas, back to him, then back to her peas again. She resumed pushing them around her plate.
James sighed once more, then settled down next to her, eating a pea off her plate. Alya patted his hand a few times, seemingly in agreement with him eating her peas, then resumed her pea-pushing.
He smiled. He would take whatever connection with her he could.
Lily Potter – October 30th, 1981
Lily stroked Alya’s head as she slept in her lap. While she was slightly concerned with her daughter’s constant silence and apparent disinterest in them, it was a small relief that her and James didn’t have to deal with constant crying and tantrums that could accompany a baby. They were already going crazy being confined to Godric’s Hollow, adding a chaotic toddler on the top would’ve been too much.
She was slightly suspicious of Albus at the lack of reasoning given as to why they needed to hide away, but she was thankful that her husband was staying home safe with them. She was scared for Sirius, though. Alya was his daughter too, but he had volunteered to go on some missions in James’s stead when Dumbledore had asked. He had insisted that James stay back with her and Alya, that they needed James more than him. It made her feel terrible that she agreed with him. She didn’t know what she would do without James here to keep her grounded.
Even with Alya and James, Lily was still lonely. She missed Alice, hell, she even missed Severus. They hadn’t spoken to anyone outside the house in months, save Sirius, and even he had been gone for almost a month now too.
The autumnal wind was picking up and the chill in the air was steadily growing colder. With Halloween in a few days, she couldn’t wait for when they would finally be able to leave the house.
They wouldn’t receive any trick-or-treaters this year with their house being under Fidelius with Peter as their secret keeper, but she wondered if she could watch the children from the window with Alya. Hopefully she could show her what had been part of her muggle childhood, and what she could look forward to in a few years after the war was over and they were safe.
Lily hummed a lullaby, looking down at her daughter. Alya was adorable, with soft black curls coating her head. She knew they would look gorgeous when she grew up. She loved her husband, but was eternally grateful that their daughter wouldn’t have to deal with the horror that was the Potter hair.
Alya’s eyes were brilliant green, brighter even than Lily’s own. She had heard that magic could alter the appearance in its manifestation, but seeing it was something else entirely. They almost glowed when the light caught them a certain way, practically ethereal. She knew from her eyes that her child’s magic would be strong.
With the war looming over them, Lily had been looking into blood magic and old protection rituals. She would do anything to keep Alya safe. She hadn’t told James, but she had Sirius get her some books soon after she had Alya. The Blacks were notorious for knowing Dark Magic, and he had ideas to share, as well as no judgement for how far she would go to protect their daughter. Lily didn’t think James would react poorly, but the Potters were a well-known Light family, and she didn’t want to deal with any moral conundrums he might have.
“It’ll be okay,” she whispered into Alya’s hair, “Mummy is here, and she’ll protect you to the ends of the earth. Nothing will hurt you while I’m here.”
Lily leaned back in her chair and gazed at the constellations swirling around on the ceiling of the nursery. She smiled softly and closed her eyes.
Aurélie Bouchard – October 31, 1981
Aurélie sat in her crib, going over digits of Pi in her head as she stared at the ceiling. She was bored out of her mind. Being a baby again sucked. She couldn’t read books because what parents would give their fifteen-month-old actual books to read. Lily and James would read her children’s books and show her the pictures, which were only slightly better than muggle books as the pictures moved.
While the wizarding fairy tales were new, the mental stimulation remained lacking. After over a year, she was still only mildly interested in her new life. She decided to try thinking of herself with her new name and had chosen to go by her middle. She signified this to the Potters by smiling slightly when they used it once. But she was still struggling with being Alya Potter.
She missed her last life. Her car, her computer, her freedom as an adult. Being a child again was almost as bad as being stuck in the eighties. She was not only in a book, but in a book in the past in a different country as an infant. It was tedious, and more than anything it was inconvenient to have to adapt to a completely different life.
It was almost time to figure out if she was the main character of this story and she still utterly refused to get attached to her new “parents”. There was no reason to form relationships with characters she knew would die soon. She decided to make a deal with herself: If Lily and James Potter managed to live through the night, she would start trying to care about them.
They didn’t