Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dr. Two-Brains was in the crowded lobby of a dingy, sketchy hotel near the outskirts of town, sitting on an uncomfortable plastic folding chair. This would be bad enough, but said hotel lobby was crawling with the city's criminals, lowlives, general menaces to society. There were even a couple of preteen delinquents there. It still felt wrong, to be in a room full of criminals, even after several years of working alongside them. But today, he had managed to convince himself that it would all be worth it.

Because within him, whatever remained of Professor Boxleitner had a plan. He didn't know how to implement it, so he was stressing out about that, but the big idea was that he had a very important plan.

The hotel lobby that the Evil Villains Association used as a meeting room was noisy with the chatter of all of the Association members. Unlike the usual meetings, where everyone would be more spread out and talking amongst themselves, many of the villains were crowded around two people, pestering them with questions. These two people, Dr. Two-Brains heard, were named Rhyme and Reason. He had never spoken to them and did not intend to, but nearly everyone else seemed thoroughly interested in meeting them and seeing what they were all about. The only people who were not hounding the new guys were Timmy Tim-Bo (who was sleeping), Amazing Rope Guy (who feared that they would make fun of him), Granny May (who was gathering her speech script papers), Lady Redundant Woman (who was at the snack table gathering magenta, mauve, and red violet napkins), Dr. Two-Brains (who was anxiously thinking about that plan I mentioned earlier), and his henchmen (who were looking at pictures of puppies they had stolen from the mall's picture booth example book). 

"Doesn't Human want to go introduce us to the new villains? More importantly, assess the threat they pose to Squeaky's ranking?" Squeaky asked ominously within Dr. Two-Brains' mind. It was not quite the words being said, but the intent being relayed- Squeaky had the thought, and instantly Steven did, too, as if it had been planted directly in his own head. The human-mouse language barrier meant nothing, the thoughts still meant the same thing no matter how they were expressed. 

"Due to our agreement, that's not my problem regardless of whether my plan proceeds in my favor or not," reasoned Steven, much to Squeaky's anger- which made Steven angry, too, thanks to the mind link responsible for that intent relay we just talked about. Normally, Steven wouldn't dare giving Squeaky such lip, but their recent agreement had given him a rare boost of confidence. Of course, due to that pesky mind link, Squeaky was feeling awfully confident today, too. 

"If Human wants to be that way, then fine," Squeaky continued. "Maybe he is grouchy because our hands are so dry. Or maybe he is grouchy because he's a disobedient worm."

"If you're uncomfortable with how dry our hands are, we can put on lotion," Steven suggested, deliberately ignoring Squeaky's insult. "Then we can be uncomfortable with how slimy they are instead."

"Hey, Boss!" a familiar voice said gleefully, interrupting his internal debate. Dr. Two-Brains turned to face the source of the noise, his henchman with the hat whose name had always escaped him. 

"What?" asked Dr. Two-Brains. Instead of answering, the henchman who spoke presented his boss with the pages of stolen puppy pictures. He pointed to a particularly cute poodle puppy, curled up in a wicker basket laying in a flower garden. The puppy was so young that its eyes weren't even open yet.

"Isn't that cute?" the henchman asked gleefully. Dr. Two-Brains had to admit, that puppy was awfully cute. 

"Yeah," answered the doctor, although his plan-related anxiety combined with the noise of the room made him sound quite nervous. 

"Are you okay, Boss?" asked his speaking henchman, his and Charlie's faces growing concerned.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm just thinking," said Dr. Two-Brains, his gaze wandering around the room. 

"Are you thinking about that duffel bag that we aren't supposed to ask any questions about?" the henchman asked curiously, pointing at the purple, flower-patterned duffel bag sitting at the doctor's feet. 

"That is a great example of a question about the duffel bag," Dr. Two-Brains answered sternly. Both henchmen looked at each other for a moment, before returning to admiring the puppy pictures. Before the doctor could sigh in exasperation, an old lady's voice commanded the entire room's attention. Granny May was at her speaker's podium, and she had gathered her speech papers in order.

"Sit down, everyone!" Granny May announced into the microphone. The villains began to file back into their uncomfortable plastic folding chairs, and the room quieted down to near silence but for breathing and the occasional sniffle. 

"Thank you. Now, I'm sure you were all informed of why we are meeting today," Granny May continued. "But just in case you forgot, we have gathered here today to meet the city's two newest criminals, Rhyme and Reason! Let's give them a warm Fair City welcome, everyone!" 

As Rhyme and Reason stepped out of the audience and onto the podium with Granny May, the rest of the villains started clapping and cheering for the new guys. Rhyme and Reason looked honored to be receiving so much praise and attention, although Rhyme significantly moreso than Reason. Rhyme stepped up to the microphone first once the applause died down.

"This is Reason, and I'm Rhyme! We're the best friends of all time!" Rhyme exclaimed with enthusiasm. An impressed murmur went through the audience. "We hope our time here will be sublime, while we lead our lives of crime!" Reason leaned in to whisper something in her ear. Rhyme looked embarrassed for a second, as if she had been reminded of something she'd forgotten, and continued. 

"My theme is a clever rhyming shtick, and I come up with them awfully quick," Rhyme went on. "My hot summer days are always nice, courtesy of my breath of ice!" To demonstrate said breath of ice, Rhyme took a deep breath, her face turning an icy blue. The audience oohed and aahed as she took a wooden tongue depressor out of her pocket and blew a cloud of glittering ice crystals onto it. Within seconds, Rhyme held a flavorless popsicle in her hands, and held it up to the crowd. The audience clapped in awe at this feat, although a noticeable chunk of the villains remained silent and seemed agitated. Dr. Two-Brains heard a distinct murmur of "She has ice powers? No fair!" 

Next, Reason stepped up to the microphone, with Rhyme enthusiastically giving him two thumbs up for encouragement. Reason cleared his throat and began his introduction. 

"My name is Reason," said Reason into the microphone. "I don't have any cool powers like Rhyme- or a lot of you guys- but I still help our team by deciding what things to steal in the first place, and things like how to cover our tracks from the police... but apparently in this city you guys have a flying ten-year-old who does the crimefighting, so... that will make my job a lot harder. But I'm determined to rise to the challenge. Thank you." Reason then stepped aside, with Granny May returning to the microphone. But before she could speak, someone from the audience piped up. 

"That's not fair!"

The crowd of villains turned to face the source of the voice, which turned out to be Mr. Big. 

"Why isn't it fair?" asked Granny May into the microphone. Mr. Big thought for a moment before responding.

"It's not fair, because... because it's so inefficient," Mr. Big said, standing up so everyone could see him. "Their criminal team needs two people, each for one purpose: Rhyme for her powers, Reason for his mind. If Reason had Rhyme's powers, or Rhyme had Reason's mind, they wouldn't need each other at all!"

Dr. Two-Brains suddenly began paying close attention to where the discussion was headed. This could be the perfect starting point for his plan. 

"Hey, Mr. Big," said the Butcher, standing up. All eyes moved to him. "Your crime team's got two people! Actually, your crime team has a whole company of people!" A murmur of agreement spread through the crowd- but not all of the crowd. 

"That's because I've got the same problem Reason does!" Mr. Big protested. "If I could make money like my employees and manage it like Leslie, I wouldn't need anyone!"

"Nuh-uh!" interjected a gruff, loud voice. The Whammer stood up, and everyone looked at him. "Mr. Big Guy might want to team up with somebody! The Whammer whams stuff all the time with Chucky Breadhead, just 'cause the Whammer likes whammin' with him!"

"That's not the point, Whammer," Mr. Big argued. "I'm saying that if I had the abilities of my teammates, I wouldn't need them. That doesn't mean I would shut them out of my life forever." 

"Whammer, I think Mr. Big might be onto something," said a softer voice, and Chuck stood up from his chair. "I mean, if I had ice powers, or the Butcher's meat hands thing, or one of Dr. Two-Brains' rays, I could take over the city, easy." 

"Easy?!" demanded the Butcher, swinging his attention to Chuck. "I'd like to see you try figuring out what meat to cover somebody with, or what to blast with ice, or which freaky ray to use!" 

Dr. Two-Brains had found his time to shine. 

"That can be arranged," he announced, standing up from his chair and picking up his duffel bag. Now, all eyes were on him.

Dr. Two-Brains unzipped his duffel bag and reached into it. The people nearest to him quickly scrambled away, and several other people dove to the floor- given the doctor's reputation, he was hardly surprised. Out of the duffel bag, he pulled a blue ray gun.

"Relax, everyone," said Dr. Two-Brains. "It's just my Mind Exchange Ray." 

"What does esplainge mean?" asked the Butcher nervously. "And why are you gonna do it to our minds?"

"Exchange means to swap one thing for another," Dr. Two-Brains explained. "So, if you and Chucky were to exchange minds, your mind would be in Chuck's body, and Chuck's mind would be in your body."

"Does that mean I would get the Butcher's powers?" Chuck asked. 

"Yes it does," Dr. Two-Brains answered. "If you two exchanged minds, you would each get to try out the other's powers." 

"But Chuck doesn't have any powers," the Butcher pointed out. "He uses his condiment ray and his sandwich press to commit crimes!"

"That's okay," Dr. Two-Brains said. "He can exchange minds with me instead, and figure out how to use my... less human abilities better than I can."

"Thats all very nice," Mr. Big intervened. "But what about everyone else? How will everyone else figure out which powers fit them best?" A murmur of agreement went up in the crowd.

"I had a plan for that," said Dr. Two-Brains. He bent over and reached into his duffel bag, pulling out several black, diamond-shaped objects. 

"These are badges," explained the doctor. "If you wear one, it will display an icon representing one of any villain in here, showing who's mind is in that body." 

The crowd didn't seem to understand.

"Alright, alright. Chuck, come here," said Dr. Two-Brains, beckoning for Chuck to approach. He did, very cautiously, and stood about arms length away from the doctor.

"You see," explained Dr. Two-Brains, as he put a badge on Chuck's chest. The badge lit up, displaying a sandwich icon, and Chuck oohed in fascination. "Chuck's icon is a sandwich. Therefore, since Chuck is in his own body right now, it shows a sandwich icon. But if the Butcher were in Chuck's body, it would show the Butcher's icon instead, which is a steak. Does that make sense?"

A murmur of approval rippled through the crowd. 

"Good," said Dr. Two-Brains. He turned to look at Granny May. "If I may, Granny May, I propose a competition."

"A competition?" asked Granny May, still a little bitter that her meeting had been interrupted. "What for?"

"For the good of the Association," answered the doctor. "If everyone finds powers that they can cause the most chaos with, I can make a device that can give them those powers. That way, everyone can do as much evil as possible!" 

A young girl with blonde braids stood up, causing a majority of the villains to internally groan. 

"My brother once made a power-stealing machine," Victoria piped up. 

"Great," Dr. Two-Brains cut her off before she could start bragging about how she was the best. "We'll use that, or something like it." The doctor refocused on Granny May. "What do you say?"

"Well... if it will really help us wreak more havoc... I guess I'll let you all do this," answered Granny May. "How will the competition be held?"

"Well," said Dr. Two-Brains, trying to sound like he was coming up with this on the spot when he'd actually been planning for weeks, "I propose that the competition last for one week, so everyone can make sure that they really want the powers of the other person. Everyone should have to wear the badges displaying who is in which body, so no one can steal anyone else's identity. And for as long as the competition lasts, the Mind Exchange Ray can be used to swap the minds of any villains who want to swap powers. Sound fair?" He looked around for approval. 

"I would say that sounds fair... but I don't know what a crumplesmission is, so I don't know what the rules are for," the Butcher said sheepishly. Victoria piped up again.

"A competition is an event where multiple people or teams work against each other, or compete, to win something," Victoria said matter-of-factly. 

"Thank you, Victoria," Dr. Two-Brains said irritably.

"You're welcome. If it weren't for WordGirl, I'd be the best at defining words," Victoria said, before sitting back down. 

"Now, does that sound fair?" asked Dr. Two-Brains again. This time, the audience nodded and whispered in agreement. 

"Great! Everyone who wants to participate, come back here at this time tomorrow," Dr. Two-Brains announced, putting all of his stuff back into the duffel bag and zipping it back up. "I have some planning to do."

Chapter Text

Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy always thought he was too good to be sharing a rank with the Butcher. Or anyone, really, even though he did love his friends and their company. Most people, particularly people who did not have high ranks at all, would have said that second place was enough. Even if he had to share, he only had to share with one person. The villains ranking third, Granny May, Tobey, and Mr. Big, all had to share their place with two other people. Chuck seemed lucky, when you looked at it from that perspective.

But Chuck didn't see it that way. Chuck only saw what he didn't have. He saw it every time his big brother Brent, sweetheart he was, was endlessly praised for his success. Not just by their mother- Brent got love from everybody. And why?

Because he was the best in his field. Because no one else was both annoyingly nitpicky about food and ambitious enough to make and sell crustless bread of all things. 

Nobody praised Chuck like that, for his success. Chuck knew why- because he was nothing more than a second-place criminal. No civilians cowered in terror at hearing his voice, or fled screaming when he walked into a place with his condiment gun. 

But yesterday, Chuck had been given an opportunity to change that. And today, he intended to take it.

Chuck was, along with many other villains, waiting around a creepy alleyway behind a dingy old hotel, curiously trying to figure out what in the world Dr. Two-Brains was prattling on about. 

"...and then when I kindly offered to demonstrate my Turns-Carpet-Into-Cottage-Cheese Ray, the hotel desk lady said, 'You're nuts! Get outta here!' which is when I took all of my stuff and came around back here," Dr. Two-Brains was saying, probably explaining his latest social screw-up in a series of many.

"Very interesting, Doctor," Mr. Big said professionally, in his businessman voice. "But what does that have to do with the competition?"

"Oh, nothing, I was just talking," said Dr. Two-Brains, kneeling down and unzipping that purple flower-patterned duffel bag of his. He took out the Mind Exchange Ray and set it on the ground, before taking out several of the diamond-shaped badges. He stacked them neatly in his hands, before standing up and facing the villains who wished to participate in the power swapping event. There was a decent turnout, but not everyone was there. 

"Alright, everyone! Get closer so you can hear me and I don't have to yell!" Dr. Two-Brains called to the scattered collection of villains in the alley. Various villains sat down on whatever they could find- a fallen trash can, a box, a big rock. Chuck sat on an old mattress with stuffing and springs sticking out. The doctor himself casually leaned on a dumpster, accidentally moving it a little and causing several tiny, adorable mice to scurry out from under it and into the walls of the buildings nearby. The doctor's mouse brain glowed a mild, ominous green, and he grimaced and flinched a little.

"Heh... sorry, little guys," Dr. Two-Brains said as the little creatures scurried away, before returning his attention to the crowd. "So, you all remember yesterday's rules, right? Competition lasts for a week, you switch minds with whoever, the prize is switching powers with somebody if you both agree on it. You can't tell anyone not in the contest that you or anyone else swapped minds, or our cover will be blown, so you've got to live at the other villain's lair and whatnot. Sound good?" 

A murmur of approval went through the crowd, with a few "Yeah"s and "Yup"s sprinkled in. 

"Great! I'll pass out everybody's badges," said Dr. Two-Brains. He suddenly got rather nervous, hastily putting the Mind Exchange Ray back into the duffel bag, zipping it up, and hanging it over his shoulder. The doctor then scurrying around the group and handing everyone badges, occasionally putting one in his pocket when it was specialized to a specific individual. Those individuals were himself, Invisi-Bill, and Lady Redundant Woman, and the doctor called them both aside separately to explain their specialized badges. Chuck, who had already gotten his badge yesterday and had gotten over being impressed by it, quietly snuck within earshot of them to listen in on what they were saying.

"...different badges than everyone else," Dr. Two-Brains was explaining to Invisi-Bill and Lady Redundant Woman. Chuck was disappointed that he didn't hear the beginning of that sentence.

"Lady Redundant Woman, if you make a clone of yourself while wearing the badge, your clone will have the badge, too," Dr. Two-Brains explained, handing one badge to Lady Redundant Woman. Lady Redundant Woman put on the badge, which lit up and displayed an icon depicting a stack of papers. She pressed her nose to make a clone. Sure enough, the clone was also wearing the badge with the exact same icon on it. Lady Redundant Woman pressed her nose to make the clone disappear, leaving a stack of paper in its wake. 

"Cool, neat, and fascinating!" Lady Redundant Woman remarked, before walking back off into the group. Dr. Two-Brains turned to Invisi-Bill. 

"Bill, your badge turns invisible when you do," explained Dr. Two-Brains, handing the badge to Bill. Invisi-Bill took it enthusiastically and put it on. The badge lit up and displayed an empty mirror icon. 

"Hooray! Invisi-Bill!" Invisi-Bill cheered, blinking in and out of sight. Sure enough, his badge turned invisible with him. Once Invisi-Bill returned to the crowd (probably... he was invisible, after all), Dr. Two-Brains put the badge on his own labcoat. His badge lit up, displaying his mouse face insignia. His badge was vertically split in half, making two triangle-shaped sub-badges. Chuck wondered what that was about as he slipped back into the crowd and Dr. Two-Brains went back to stand by the dumpster.

"Alright! Now that everybody has their badges on, I'm going to go over them again, in case any of you missed it yesterday," Dr. Two-Brains explained. "Since all of you are wearing your badges, and you're all in your own bodies, that means that the insignia displaying on your badge is yours. You don't really have to remener it exactly, because you'll be the one wearing it, and it will never appear on a badge on a body that doesn't have your mind in it. These badges also have some functions that I didn't explain yesterday, namely turning the icon gray if you're sleeping, unconscious, or it doesn't detect your mind- like if you've taken it off." 

Dr. Two-Brains held up his own badge for everyone to see. "My badge is different from the rest of yours. Since I have two minds, I've gone and split my badge in half vertically. My insignia looks the same right now, because both of my brains are in their correct spots. But once my human mind goes into another body, you'll see that my human mind's insignia has a tally mark on the mouse's forehead. My mouse mind should be staying in the same spot for the duration of the contest, but if he does ever switch bodies- and trust me, you'll know- you'll see that his little icon has two tally marks on his forehead.

"Now, this part is very important, so listen up!" Dr. Two-Brains barked, making the group jump to attention. "Your left side of my badge has the icon of the mouse brain in it. Your right side of my badge has the icon of the human brain in it. You all got that?" Just to make sure it was clear which sides he was talking about, he tapped them as he mentioned them. 

The group nodded and murmured in agreement. 

"Good! Now, are there any questions?" asked the doctor. Chuck raised his hand. 

"How are we supposed to tell who's who based on their badge thingy's... oh, what's the word?" Chuck asked. 

"Insignia?" Dr. Two-Brains asked. "It's the little picture on your badge."

"Yeah, that!" Chuck confirmed. 

"Well, not many of you have used specific insignias before, so I took the liberty of making my own for you," Dr. Two-Brains explained. "But they are all unique and based on each of your idiosyncrasies, so it should be easy to guess who's who. But, if it would make you all feel better..." He searched through his pockets for a moment, before pulling out a crumpled piece of paper with cheese crumbs on it, and held it up to the crowd. 

"This here is a list of which insignia belongs to who," Dr. Two-Brains explained. "I can give you all copies if you want. Lady Redundant Woman?" 

After Lady Redundant Woman had made and passed out the copies of the list, everyone looked back at Dr. Two-Brains for instruction.

"Alright!" said the doctor. "Any more questions?"

Mr. Big raised his hand. "What are our idio... singing... thingies?" he asked. Dr. Two-Brains sighed, wishing he could call WordGirl without blowing their cover. 

"An idiosyncrasy is something that is unique to a person, place, or thing," Dr. Two-Brains explained. "So, Chuck's love for sandwiches is an idiosyncrasy because not many people like sandwiches that much. Or your love for mind control and squishy bunnies is an idiosyncrasy, because not a lot of people like mind-controlling the masses while squishing a pink bunny toy." 

Mr. Big nodded in understanding.

"Any more questions?" Dr. Two-Brains asked, starting to get agitated.

The group was silent.

"Are you sure?"

The group remained silent.

"Great!" Dr. Two-Brains exclaimed, clapping his hands together and giving the group a big grin with the fake happiness usually only seen in retail workers. "Who wants to go first?" 

Several villains stepped up, along with who they wanted to swap with. It took a moment for them all to get used to their new bodies, but once they did, they thanked Dr. Two-Brains and left to go cause trouble.

Now was Chuck's time to shine. 

Chuck raised his hand and started making his way to the front of the group, and stopped when he stood mere feet from Dr. Two-Brains.

"I wanted to swap with you yesterday, remember?" Chuck asked eagerly. 

Dr. Two-Brains nodded. "Yes, I remember." He pulled the Mind Exchange Ray out of his duffel bag, and aimed it at Chuck. "Here we go!" 

Chuck's vision was filled with a soft blue light, much like the soft blue light of the ray. His body felt completely numb, and his vision went dark but for that lovely shade of blue. Despite the odd experience, Chuck didn't panic. Instead, he thought of the wonderful things he would do with the body of the city's most wanted criminal. Gone were the days of wasting such talent on cheese of all things! Chuck would put his wacky contraptions to much better use. Power would be his. He'd steal gold, diamonds, rubies, every sandwich exhibit in the museum, with the mad doctor's machines! Not to mention his freaky mouse teeth that let him chew up steel. 

In the few seconds it took for Chuck's mind to transfer to Dr. Two-Brains' body, he felt a brief wave of... something. Other thoughts and feelings that he didn't think he was the one having. Thoughts about hoping for freedom, and nail-biting anxiety about losing it forever. Chuck related to those feelings, as in the body of Dr. Two-Brains, he would finally be free to take whatever he wanted! But, if the competition didn't work out, he would have to get the top position the old fashioned way: by earning it. 

As soon as he had those thoughts, those other thoughts and feelings shifted into mild anger and offense- and Chuck recognized those thoughts and feelings as another person. 

"Like you would know," thought the other person, although the internal monologue didn't quite match up with any real voice Chuck had heard. Just before Chuck could ask if the other person was Dr. Two-Brains, Chuck sensed the presence of another person, and Chuck's mind had been successfully transferred. 

Chuck's vision returned, although he quickly found that Dr. Two-Brains couldn't see color very well and was a bit nearsighted. His entire body felt so different than Chuck's body did. His face was longer, and made of flesh and bone, not bread, and hair instead of lettuce grew on his head! Dr. Two-Brains was slightly taller than Chuck, but much, much skinnier. It felt so weird and light. Chuck almost feared he was going to float away. His face felt funny, too. Whiskers grew out of his face, making him startlingly aware of every light passing breeze, and any big movements anyone in the crowd made. His mouth was full of odd-shaped teeth, and it took a second to adjust his mouth so the mouse incisors wouldn't stick out of his mouth. The world sounded... lower, deeper, and Chuck heard noises too high for him to have heard before, namely the chitter-chatter of the mice inside the walls of the nearby buildings. But the oddest thing about that was that he understood what those mice were trying to say. Chuck had obviously never held a conversation with a mouse, but he knew what their squeaks meant even though nobody had ever taught him to speak mouse. 

The strangest thing of all about this new body, though, was that presence in his head, the presence of another living thing, with thoughts and feelings. This new living thing thought angry thoughts and felt angry feelings, and those feelings began to leak into Chuck's mind and made him a little angry, too. 

"Hello? Who are you?" thought Chuck.

"Hello, New Human," thought the creature. "Old Human called me Squeaky."

Chapter Text

One Beatrice Bixby had been having a very eventful day.

To begin with, the day previous, she had been assigned decoration duty at the meeting of the Evil Villains Association. Next, during that meeting, a fight broke out over who deserved which powers more, which Beatrice found ridiculous. She would never give up her powers! Beatrice loved being Lady Redundant Woman. Everyone always knew what she thought of them, and if they didn't catch it the first time she said it, they'd have at least two more chances. 

But when Dr. Two-Brains, the resident mad scientist and highest-ranking villain with no hand in actually running the Association, stood up and claimed that he had a device that would let people switch bodies? 

Beatrice got curious. A little more curious than she'd like to admit. So, when she decided to ask Miss Question if she was okay with switching bodies for the competition, Beatrice was happy when Miss Question answered with, "Why not?"

Fast-forward a couple of hours later, Beatrice and Miss Question switched bodies, and they each had their sights on a wonderful museum exhibit: six identical question mark stones, encrusted with diamonds, each about as tall as a coffee mug, and shaped like a question mark. Beatrice and Miss Question both agreed that three of them would look wonderful in their respective apartments, and so agreed to steal them together and split them evenly. Now, they were both walking through the museum's "Oddly Shaped Rocks and Minerals" section, searching for their target exhibit. 

Beatrice (in Miss Question's body) and Miss Question (in Beatrice's body) nonchalantly strolled through the museum, walking slowly to seem without purpose. They each feigned interest in the other oddly shaped rocks, while glancing around the room on search of those question marks. Beatrice got a tad sidetracked examining a ruby in the shape of a copy machine, but Miss Question broke her out of it by tapping her back.

"Beatrice?" Miss Question whispered. She pointed across the room, to a grand glass case, where the six beautiful question marks sat. "Doesn't that look like, and resemble, the question marks?"

"Yes it does!" Beatrice whispered back. "Good eye! Let's sneak over there."

The two partners in crime began slowly and casually strolling over to the quesrion mark exhibit, where a few other people were standing and ogling the stones, with the elderly museum guard watching everyone closely. 

"I'll stun the guards and the witnesses," Beatrice whispered to Miss Question. "Um... by the way... how do I do that?"

Miss Question, for a lady who loved questions so much, seemed rather offended at this one. "Don't you see me do it all the time?" she whispered back. 

"Eh- excuse me, ladies," the museum guard's creaky old voice interrupted them, making both women jump. "What is all of that whispering about?"

Beatrice froze, trying to come up with an answer, but Miss Question beat her to it.

"Can't you make a guess, a theory, a hypothesis?" Miss Question asked the guard. The museum guard pondered for a moment.

"Well, if I had to guess, I'd guess that you two ladies were looking to steal something," the museum guard responded sternly, waving a finger at the two. "That's usually what people whisper about around here."

Beatrice, not a fan of talking to people, decided to be brave and try out Miss Question's stun power. 

"Okay, so... when I see her do it, she sort of.. puffs her chest out. The part of the sweater with the question mark on it. So... like this?"

Beatrice squeezed her eyes shut and puffed her chest out, just as she had seen Miss Question do, and hoped for the best. 

"What... what just happened? Was I talking to you two?" she heard the museum guard ask. Beatrice opened her eyes, and was delighted to see the museum guard yellow-eyed and bewildered before her. Several bystanders had turned to look at the commotion, so Beatrice stunned the witnesses, too.

"Don't you remember?" Miss Question asked the guard.

"Yeah," Beatrice added, feeling more confident. "You were going to give us the diamond-encrusted question marks." Beatrice pointed behind the guard, to said exhibit. 

"Was I? Why would I do that?" the guard asked in confusion. 

"Don't ask us," Beatrice countered sternly, as if she were the one in charge. "You were about to do it!"

"Oh," the guard said, and fumbled around for his keys. Still clearly befuddled about what had just happened, the guard opened the glass case, revealing the question marks.

"Uh... help yourselves, I guess," said the guard, scratching his head and walking back over to his stool. Beatrice and Miss Question grinned greedily at each other. Beatrice grabbed a question mark rock and grabbed it with both hands, dragging it out of the case. It wasn't too heavy, but she still didn't think she or Miss Question could carry three each.

"Make a few clones to help us carry these things!" Beatrice suggested. 

Miss Question thought for a moment, before hesitantly reaching a hand up to her face. "I do that by poking my nose, right?" 

"Yes," answered Beatrice, standing by now that she had found a comfortable position to hold the question mark in. 

Miss Question looked nervous (Beatrice couldn't believe her body's nervous face. It was a wonder no customer had laughed at her yet), squeezed her eyes shut, and poked her nose with a finger. Just as Beatrice had seen many times before, Lady Redundant Woman's outfit appeared over Miss Question, and a clone of her body appeared next to her, wearing the insignia badge with Miss Question's question mark on it. 

Miss Question opened her eyes, and gasped in awe at the clone. "Isn't that so cool?" she asked. 

Beatrice smiled. "Make three more, there are six question marks."

Miss Question poked her nose thrice more, and three more clones appeared. Each clone got a question mark to carry, and Miss Quesrion grabbed the last one. The partners in crime then began hurrying towards the nearest exit. 

Unfortunately for them, the question-stunning didn't last forever, and the museum guard came to. 

"Stop! Thieves!" 

Beatrice and Miss Question froze in their tracks, exchanging a silent aw, nuts with their expressions.

Within moments, a whoosh cut through the air, and the living dictionary herself was standing right in front of the criminals, blocking their path. 

"Going somewhere?" WordGirl asked sternly, putting her hands on her hips and giving them incredible amounts of sass for such a small child. On her shoulder, her pet badger Captain Huggyface gave the thieves a disdainful glare. 

"Yes, actually," Beatrice explained, making WordGirl jump and widen her eyes in surprise. "We were just leaving."

"You're not Miss Question!" WordGirl blurted out, almost before Beatrice had finished talking. 

"Oh, right. I'm supposed to be Miss Question," Beatrice thought, mentally kicking herself for such a silly blunder. 

Captain Huggyface squeaked at WordGirl, in a tone that almost sounded like he was scolding her for being rude. Sure enough, WordGirl regained composure and made a face that seemed like it was meant to be apologetic, but it was actually just adorable. 

"Ahem. I mean, you sound different than normal, Miss Question," WordGirl corrected herself, in that overly-professional way that kids do. "Are you feeling alright?" Very suddenly, she regained her usual heroic spunk. "Maybe the doctor can have a look at you in jail!" 

"Why do you think I sound different?" Beatrice asked. "Don't I always sound like this?"

"Not really, actually," WordGirl answered. She pondered for a moment, before looking at the several Lady Redundant Women awkwardly holding stolen rocks. "Actually, you sound kind of like Lady Redundant Woman!" WordGirl exclaimed. 

"Why would you think she sounds anything like, similar to, or resembling me?" asked one of the clones (or, potentially, the real Miss Question), who of course had the voice of Miss Question. 

"See, you sound an awful lot like Miss Question," WordGirl said, floating a foot or two off the ground and scratching her chin. 

"But she's repeating herself, isn't she?" Beatrice asked WordGirl. "Isn't that something Lady Redundant Woman does?"

WordGirl thought for another moment. "Yeah, I guess so. This is just so... befuddling! I could've sworn you two each had each other's voices!" 

"Befuddling?" asked Beatrice. "What does that mean?"

"Well," WordGirl said, quickly cheered up by the opportunity to define a word. "To befuddle someone means to confuse them. So, I'm confused right now because you sound like Lady Redundant Woman, and Lady Redundant Woman sounds like Miss Question. That means your voices have me befuddled."

"Could Lady Redundant Woman do this?" Beatrice asked, firing a stun beam at WordGirl. Thanks to her superpowers, she was able to dodge, but she unfortunately dodged right into the grasp of two clones. The third made a grab for the young hero, but her pet badger leaped at the clone and poked it in the nose, making it poof into a stack of papers. 

Unfortunately for the two heroes, Miss Question was already making several more clones, which each grabbed one of WordGirl's limbs, holding her in place. The final one held Captain Huggyface tightly. Beatrice shot both heroes with a question stun beam. Fortunately, this time, the do-gooders were too occupied with escaping the grasp of the clones to notice, and the stun beam hit them straight-on. 

"Woah... what were we doing, Huggy?" WordGirl asked her badger friend, who scratched his head and chirped in equal confusion. "Are you as befuddled as I am?" she asked him. 

"I think we were..." said WordGirl, prying one arm free and reaching up to poke a clone's nose. To everyone's surprise, that clone was no clone at all, and was the real Miss Question. Now that her nose had been poked, an actual clone appeared at her side.

"Huh?!" exclaimed WordGirl, and Huggy chirped in surprise. Now that no one was left with their wits about them, Beatrice, Miss Question, and the clones took their stolen question marks and made a break for it. 

Once they had escaped the museum, they ducked into an alleyway and hid behind the dumpster in it to congratulate each other and survey the stolen loot. The four clones, no longer needed at the moment, were poofed back into paper by Miss Question.

"Great job, Miss Question!" said Beatrice, gathering the stolen question marks into a small pile and examining them for damage. 

"Aww, you think I did well?" asked Miss Question. Beatrice smiled. 

"You did great," she said. "Good job fooling WordGirl back there. I guess my powers are just as confusing as yours!" She was about to report that their stolen exhibits were unharmed, but first, she had to do something. She reached into her pocket- before remembering that this was Miss Question's body. 

"Reach into your pockets," Beatrice told Miss Question. Miss Question obeyed, and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. Uncrumpling it, she examined it.

"Why do you have a group picture of every villain in town?" Miss Question asked. 

"In case I ever need their help, and the real villains don't want to cooperate," answered Beatrice. "If you eat a picture of someone, then you'll be able to clone them!"

Miss Question smiled villainously, already getting some ideas. 

Meanwhile, back at the museum, the stun effect had finally worn off of WordGirl and Captain Huggyface.

"Ugh... that was so weird, Huggy!" WordGirl exclaimed, shaking her head to clear it. "I could have sworn that their voices were mixed up!" 

Huggy squeaked in response. WordGirl scoffed.

"Yeah, well, I know I should have focused on their antics," she answered. She thought for a moment, then sighed. "I don't really have an explanation for that. You're right, Huggy." Huggy patted her on the back to make her feel better. 

"While you're here, WordGirl," the museum guard said behind her. WordGirl turned around to face him, still feeling guilty about letting the thieves get away. 

"What were their antics?" asked the guard. "I didn't see any antics on them. Shouldn't you have been focusing on the crime they were committing?"

WordGirl perked up at the opportunity to define a word. "Well, actually, their antics were the crime they were committing!" she explained. "Somebody's antics are their ridiculous or outrageous behavior. Since Miss Question and Lady Redundant Woman robbed the museum in broad daylight, their behavior was definitely outrageous. So, the crime they committed could be described as their antics."

"Oh!" the museum guard said happily. "Thanks, WordGirl."

"You're welcome, Mr. Museum Guard, sir," said WordGirl. "I'm sorry I couldn't catch those thieves, but rest assured, I'll hunt them down until they're brought to justice!"

Just then, her super-hearing picked up maniacal laughter towards the center of town... the maniacal laughter of Mr. Big!

"Finally! With these new skills I've learned, I'll finally be able to become the richest man in the world all on my own, by mind-controlling everyone in the city to buy my new Squishy Bunny products!" Mr. Big was saying.

"Um, sir, you're already pretty much the richest man in the world," interjected the monotone, eternally done-with-everything voice of Leslie. "And lots of people already like bunnies. I'm sure you don't need to use mind control to make money off of them."

"Oh, be quiet, Leslie," Mr. Big huffed grouchily. 

"Did you hear that, Huggy?" WordGirl asked her trusty sidekick, back at the museum. Huggy nodded.

"Mr. Big and Leslie are going to mind control the city!" WordGirl exclaimed. She picked up her trusty sidekick and flew away with a heroic, "Word up!"

Chapter Text

Victoria Best stepped up the stone steps of her fancy, expensive house, hot and uncomfortable after a long day at school. She never liked having to leave school, because it always meant having to go home.

And Victoria didn't like to go home.

She pulled her house key out of her pocket (her parents were the best at picking keys), unlocked the door, and pushed it open. She entered her big, fancy house, with blue walls and big windows to let the gleaming sun in. It was beautiful, with the various trophies the Bests had earned (or not) over the years displayed proudly in glass cases and polished to perfection. To an outsider, it looked like a palace. But to her, for some reason, it felt like a dungeon. 

Victoria put her backpack on the hanger next to the door, and locked the door behind her. Then, she walked into her family's dining room, and sat in her place at the table. The rest of her family was eating what smelled like spaghetti, and Victoria noticed that her place was empty but for her placemat.

"Victoria," said Mr. Best, her father, in that upper-class apathetic voice of his. "You're home, finally."

"Indeed," said Mrs. Best, her mother, in the same tone as Mr. Best. "Your brother beat you home, again."

"Yes I did," announced Victor, her brother, in a smug voice. "I'm the best at coming home on time."

"Yeah, well," Victoria said, racking her brain for an excuse. To be a Best, you had to be the best, after all... and if Victoria wasn't a Best, who was she?

"I was busy thinking about a competition," said Victoria, sitting down in her chair. She was very hungry, and intended to get some spaghetti, but she first had to convince her parents that she was still the best. 

So that they would let her keep being a Best. 

"A competition? I do hope you won it," said Mr. Best sternly, putting down his spaghetti and giving his daughter a fierce look. Victoria got defensive.

"The winner hasn't been decided yet!" Victoria protested. "And besides, it was a competition to see who had the best powers, and stuff. I didn't need to compete, because I'm already the best." Feeling as though that was a decent explanation, she smiled proudly and looked into the kitchen. "Can I have some spaghetti now?"

Her mother seemed uninterested in feeding her only daughter. "You didn't even enter?!" she demanded, setting down her spaghetti as well. "Young lady, if you want to be the best at something, you can't not enter a competition to see who's the best!"

"Your mother's right," said Mr. Best sternly. "Now, you'll enter that competition, and you'll bring home first place."

Victoria couldn't believe what- well, actually, she could believe what she was hearing. But she didn't like it. 

"But the competition's already-" she began, but her mother interrupted her.

"No buts, Victoria," said Mrs. Best. "Now you go out there, and you find a way to enter that competition!"

"I still don't think she'll be able to do it," said Victor. "She'll never be the best if she enters late."

"I can be the best if I enter late!" Victoria protested.

"Then go show us!" said Mrs. Best. "Get up and go enter that competition. Do you know who's holding it?"

"Yes, and I know his number," said Victoria, shame and upset sizzling under her skin. She didn't want to enter that silly competition, and use other villains' powers, and pretend to be somebody else. That all seemed like a lot of trouble to go through to prove what everyone already knew: that Victoria was the best. 

At least, Victoria hoped everyone knew that. She and her family certainly didn't.

"That means you're not the best!" Victoria thought. If everyone agreed that she wasn't the best, surely it was true. And if she wasn't the best, she'd just have to try harder. This would be a great opportunity to do that, right?

"Then go call him!" Mr. Best ordered, pointing up the beautiful, white staircase to Victoria's room. Victoria nodded, stood up, and began to ascend the staircase.

"And show everyone you're the best!" her mother called after her, just before Victoria entered her room and closed the door. Taking a few deep breaths to remain steady, as the familiar pressure of proving herself settled in her bones once again. 

Where to start? The phone, right. Victoria walked over to her pristine, white bedside table, where her small phone sat. She didn't really need one, since she was eleven years old, but her parents got her one anyway because the best parents got their children phones. 

Victoria picked it up, and searched through her headboard for a folded piece of paper, a villain newsletter with the Evil Villains Association's members, meeting dates, and important members' phone numbers. Dr. Two-Brains' phone number was not actually in the original newsletter, but she'd managed to get it from Tobey in exchange for helping around his robot workshop for a month. She didn't really want to call Dr. Two-Brains, as he kind of freaked her out, but he was the one holding the competition. 

With an exasperated sigh, indicative of that "Here we go again," attitude, she dialed in the mad doctor's phone number, and waited for an answer. 

When somebody picked up, she asked, "Hello? Doctor?"

Chapter Text

Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy, with his new... friend? He hesitated to call Squeaky a friend, since he was, if Chuck was being honest, quite the jerk. Then again, Dr. Two-Brains was Chuck's friend, and the doctor was quite the jerk, too. 

But anyway, Chuck and Squeaky were perusing through Dr. Two-Brains' creepy warehouse, with Chuck pointing out things that interested him, and Squeaky explaining what they were. At least, that was the situation on paper. In practice, it went like this: 

"What's that?" Chuck asked aloud to nobody, his voice beginning to sound a bit hoarse. Chuck pointed at a large machine that looked like one of those dipping birds you put next to your keyboard to keep your computer awake, except instead of a bird, it was three large prongs coming together at a point, and attached to a circle.

"That is a ray gun, New Human," Squeaky hissed. "And New Human does not have to talk out loud!" Unfortunately for Squeaky's sanity, Chuck was not done questioning. 

"What's that?" Chuck asked again, pointing to what looked like a small tree, growing out of a comically small pot. 

"That's Old Human's beloved orange tree, which for some reason he has named-"

"Why is his couch all weird?" Chuck asked, looking down at Dr. Two-Brains' couch. It looked yellow with weird dips in it, almost like it was made of-

"Cheese..." Squeaky mumbled in Chuck's mind, with the trance-like obsession usually reserved for the half-asleep elderly discussing long-deceased lovers. Instead of pointing out how weird it was to love cheese so much, Squeaky's thoughts and feelings leaking into Chuck's mind meant that Chuck understood. This wasn't cheese, the nice food that was okay on its own but was really best on sandwiches, or chili, or pizza. This was cheese. This was the greatest thing in the world. This was edible pleasure, the gateway to flavor heaven. This was pure goodness, in a delicious, edible package. Chuck and Squeaky were thinking about the same thing, but they thought about it very, very differently. 

The mouse brain began glowing an ominous green. Chuck had a new, strong desire for cheese, a desire almost as powerful as one he had on his own. 

"There is a cheese vault," Squeaky whispered in Chuck's mind, and as soon as Squeaky thought of the location, Chuck knew what it looked like. A large, cylindrical tower, almost like a grain silo, filled to the top with cheese. 

Chuck took another look around Dr. Two-Brains' weird warehouse to find this cheese vault. Once he found it, on the side of the building, he scrambled towards it with great urgency. A lot more urgency than most people would put into getting cheese, but remember: this was cheese.

Chuck hauled open the heavy vault door with all his might, and beheld the glorious sight and smell of the cheese vault. He greedily snatched up an armful of delicious, golden blocks, inhaled one then and there, and exited the vault to eat the rest on the couch.

Just as Chuck was hungrily munching on some cheese, he heard the phone ring. Squeaky got angry that someone dared to interrupt cheese-time, and as a result, Chuck got angry, too. 

Chuck grumpily got up off of the couch, abandoning his mid-day snack, and grumpily picked up the phone. 

"Hello? Doctor?" asked a familiar little girl's voice.

"Victoria?" Chuck asked. "Is that you?"

"Yeah," Victoria answered. "Are you Chuck? Did you switch bodies with Dr. Two-Brains?"

"Stupid human," Squeaky hissed in Chuck's mind, making Chuck angrier than before.

'Yes, I did," said Chuck into the phone. "Whyever do you ask?"

"Your voice just sounds funny," Victoria answered. "Anyway, I want to join the competition. To see who has the best powers. Because clearly, it will be me."

"Uhm, since I'm not actually Dr. Two-Brains, I don't know if I can let you into the competition. I'll ask the real one, can you hold on for a minute?"

Victoria scoffed. "Fine," she answered grumpily. Chuck set the phone down next to its stand, not hanging it up. 

"There is no 'real one,' New Human," Squeaky snapped in Chuck's mind. 

"Of course there's a real one," said Chuck, reaching for one of Dr. Two-Brains' many spare, modified telephones. "I see him all the time!"

"Old Human was right," said Squeaky. "Every human except him is a moron."

"Are you talking to me?" Victoria asked over the first phone, as Chuck dialed his mother's number, hoping Dr. Two-Brains' weird phones actually worked as phones instead of grenades or time machines or something. 

"No, I'm talking to-" before Chuck could finish, a sharp, burning pain in his head interrupted him. 

"NEVER tell ANYONE about me, New Human!" Squeaky snarled angrily in Chuck's mind. Squeaky's anger at Chuck carried over to Chuck's mind, making Chuck angry at himself as well- but among that anger, Chuck felt a twinge of fear.

"I'm not talking to anyone specific, Victoria," Chuck said through clenched teeth, as he waited for his mother to pick up the phone.

"Um... okay," Victoria said, losing her typical snobbish tone and replacing it with a concerned one. 

Finally, Chuck's mother picked up. 

"Hello? Who is this?" Chuck's mother said. Chuck was happy, hearing his mother's voice, but Squeaky not knowing who she was made him feel distant from her.

"This- this is-" Chuck stammered, unsure of who to impersonate. He couldn't tell her he was Chuck, or Dr. Two-Brains in Chuck's body would be exposed. But he couldn't tell her he was Dr. Two-Brains, either, because the doctor and his mother weren't exactly on good terms. Luckily for Chuck, Squeaky gave him a hand, and made the body's mouth speak without Chuck's input. 

"This is your neighbor, Human!" Squeaky barked into the phone. When Squeaky spoke, Chuck's voice got even higher and scratchier. "Is your Sub-Human home?!"

"My subhuman?" Chuck's mother asked. From here, Chuck took over.

"Um- he means your son, is your son home?" Chuck asked.

"He? Who is he?" asked Chuck's mother.

"Uh- I mean me. Just me. I meant, is your son home?" Chuck asked. 

"No, I haven't seen either of my sons since yesterday," said Chuck's mother. "But I can't tell what business it is of yours."

"Uhm, thank you for your time, Mo- um, ma'am," said Chuck, quickly hanging up the phone.

"And Squeaky thought Old Human was a social disaster," commented Squeaky. Chuck did not reply, and went over to the first phone, where Victoria was idly humming the Pretty Princess theme song.

"Victoria!" Chuck said into the phone. "I can't contact the real Dr. Two-Brains, so I guess I could just let you into the contest now. Do you know where his weird warehouse lair is?"

"Yep, I do," said Victoria. "You want me to go over there?" 

"Yes, please," answered Chuck. 

"Alright. I'll be there, but it might take a bit 'cause I'll have to walk," answered Victoria.

"Uh, okay- can't your parents drive you?" asked Chuck. Before answering, Victoria hung up. Chuck shrugged and hung up his end of the call, going back to the couch to keep eating cheese. 

Chuck must have fallen asleep on the couch, because the next hour or so was awfully strange. He was eating a sandwich, but he kept switching from the perspective of the person to the sandwich. In the end, a giant purple octopus showed up with eight bananas in its arms, and began to play the drums with them. 

Chuck was snapped out of his dream by loud knocking on the warehouse door, which must have been the octopus playing the drums. It was still light out, so it couldn't have been later than mid-afternoon. The loud knocking continued.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Chuck called, dragging himself out of bed and yawning. He was still tired. That sleep hadn't helped at all. 

Once he got to the door and pulled the lever to open it (when he couldn't decide between the button, the lever, the other lever, or the garage door opener, Squeaky informed him that they all opened the same door), wincing at the loud grating noise of the garage-like door pulling open. Victoria stood outside the door, waiting expectantly. 

"Hi, Victoria," said Chuck. 

"Hi, Chuck," said Victoria. 

"I... I guess you'll be wanting one of those badge things," said Chuck.

"Yes, I will be," said Victoria. Chuck turned around and walked back into the warehouse, wondering where the badges were. When he began wondering, Squeaky remembered for him that the were on the coffee table shelf. Chuck walked over to the coffee table, knelt down, and there were the badges. He grabbed one, turned around, and yelped in surprise when he discovered that Victoria had followed him. Victoria looked offended.

"What?" she asked. 

"Nothing," said Chuck, handing Victoria her badge. "Here's your badge."

Victoria smiled and put the badge on. It displayed a blue ribbon icon, at which she nodded approvingly. 

"But who can I switch bodies with?" asked Victoria. Chuck thought for a moment.

"That bratty little girl, with the eye-scorching dress," Squeaky hissed in Chuck's mind, and Chuck nodded approvingly. 

"Do you know where the, uh, Birthday Girl lives?" asked Chuck. Squeaky grew impatient, and without asking, Chuck knew why. Squeaky wanted cheese. A lot of it. 

"Yeah," answered Victoria, her eyes drifting to right above Chuck's face. To the mouse brain, glowing an ominous green again. 

"Go talk to her about it," said Chuck nervously, a headache slowly growing in his skull. Victoria nodded, and slowly backed away. Once she was halfway out of the warehouse, she turned and bolted off down the street. With her gone, Chuck gripped his head. 

"Ca-an you-" Chuck began, but his headache got worse, and he bent over and squeezed his eyes shut. 

"New Human does not have to talk to me out loud!" Squeaky barked angrily. "Now, Squeaky wants CHEESE!"

"We have some in the vault," thought Chuck. 

"No! More!" Squeaky shrieked, his shrill voice making Chuck's headache worse. "ALL cheese in the CHEESEUM!"

"That dumb old cheese museum?" thought Chuck. "Surely we can do better than that."

"Not for four-thousand-year-old cheddar, we can't!" Squeaky protested. "Let's GO!"

Stumbling through his harsh headache, Chuck quickly grabbed a couple random ray guns that could fit in Dr. Two-Brains' labcoat, and scrambled out the door to rid himself of this terrible headache. 

Chapter Text

All the way back in Chapter 3, after Miss Question and Lady Redundant Woman robbed the museum, WordGirl couldn't dedicate any more time to catching them, because she was busy foiling a plan by Mr. Big and his assistant Leslie... or, at least, WordGirl was pretty sure that was what was happening. Just as with Miss Question and Lady Redundant Woman, Mr. Big and Leslie seemed to have swapped voices, and Mr. Big was putting all of Leslie's stuff in a box, for some reason. Whatever was happening, she hadn't figured out that day, because Leslie had managed to get her and Huggy stuck in a pit of sticky gloop, and by the time they escaped, the two heroes decided that whatever nonsense the villains were up to could be a tomorrow problem, and went to bed. 

But now, tomorrow had arrived (and will consequently henceforth be referred to as "today"- at least, until day 3 rolls around), and WordGirl and Captain Huggyface were on their way to stopping Mr. Big's latest evil scheme. But, when our two brave heroes arrived, they saw only Leslie, on the roof of Mr. Big's building, standing in front of the control panel of what looked to be a very tall arcade machine- the mind control device. Sticking out of the top were three large antennae.

"Stop right there- Leslie?" WordGirl exclaimed, swooping into the scene of the crime, but stopping short in surprise upon seeing who was controlling the device. 

The person who was allegedly Leslie turned around, her eyes widening in surprise- not that she should have been surprised, because WordGirl always came to stop everybody's evil plans. 

"WordGirl! Captain Who's-his-face!" Leslie exclaimed... and WordGirl was positive that it was not Leslie talking. 

"Okay, Leslie, you're acting really funny," said WordGirl, floating down to stand in front of Leslie.

"Funny?" Leslie asked. "I'm not funny, that's Mr. Big's job."

"See, that's the problem," said WordGirl, scratching her chin. "Even though you do everything anyway, Mr. Big is usually at least... here." WordGirl looked around for Mr. Big, before noticing her sidekick looking up at her sadly. 

"And Leslie never gets Huggy's name wrong!" WordGirl exclaimed in defense of her loyal friend, much to Huggy's appreciation. 

"But doesn't everybody get his name wrong?" asked Leslie. "I mean, for a superhero, you'd really think people would know him better."

"Yeah. I should make an official statement or something," WordGirl thought aloud, pondering her options. She quickly returned to the situation at hand, though. 

"Maybe you can listen to it from jail!" WordGirl exclaimed heroically. With a bright red flash of the young heroine's super-speed, Leslie was tied up in the antennae of the very device she was operating moments ago, and WordGirl was casually flying through the city once more.

"That was so weird, Huggy!" WordGirl said to her trusty sidekick, who nodded in agreement. "Leslie doesn't usually commit crimes on her own. And she usually doesn't have that much emotion in her voice. In fact... she sounded quite a lot like-"

Before WordGirl could finish her sentence, her super-hearing picked up a panicked voice from the bank. "Help!" the voice cried. "The Butcher is robbing the bank!"

"Seriously? Another crime already?" WordGirl complained, before sighing and zipping off to the bank. 

"Stop right there, Butcher!" WordGirl exclaimed, kicking in the door of the bank and posing heroically midair to survey the crime scene. It was the usual Butcher bank robbery scene: several civilians buried in piles of various meat products, the Butcher himself standing in front of the desk, a clerk packing dollar bills into the Butcher's money sack with a bored, nothing-unusual-today look on her face. However, WordGirl quickly noticed that a few things were unusual. To begin with, Dr. Two-Brains' henchmen were both there, even though the doctor himself was nowhere to be found, and the Butcher didn't like Two-Brains much, anyway. Second of all, when WordGirl busted into the bank with her "Stop right there!" schtick, the Butcher made no witty response. Not even a "Dangit!" came out of him. Instead, the Butcher merely turned around to face her, dropped the money sack, and... started wiggling his fingers at her?

"Uh, Butcher?" asked WordGirl, floating down in front of him. "Don't you normally have to say your attack for it to-"

Before WordGirl could finish, a sausage cyclone shot out of one of the Butcher's hands. WordGirl, very startled, quickly held her loyal sidekick in front of her like a shield. Captain Huggyface opened his mouth, and hungrily ate all of the incoming sausages. 

"I guess not!" WordGirl exclaimed, searching the bank for something to tie up the Butcher with. 

Unfortunately, before she could, Dr. Two-Brains' henchmen snatched Huggy from her shoulder. 

"Hey!" WordGirl protested, making a grab for her sidekick- but before she could rescue him, she was blasted into the wall by one of the Butcher's classic ham-alanches. 

In hindsight, WordGirl probably could have broken out of the pile of ham on her own. But at the time, it was around 8 o'clock in the morning, and she wasn't about to tire herself out over ham at 8 o'clock in the morning when Huggy could just eat an escape path for her. Luckily for her, Captain Huggyface made quick work of her ham prison (as well as the meat that the various bankgoers had been trapped in), but by the time everyone had been freed, the Butcher and Dr. Two-Brains' henchmen had escaped. With a grumble of frustration, WordGirl flew off once more with her sidekick to chase after the escaped criminals.

As our two heroes flew through the sky in search of the thieves, Captain Huggyface chirped a question to WordGirl.

"Yeah, I did notice those weird things they were wearing!" WordGirl exclaimed in realization. Huggy had pointed out the odd, black diamond-shaped badges the villains were wearing. They all displayed little pictures, but WordGirl hadn't been paying close enough attention to them to remember what they were.

"Now that I think of it, Leslie and Mr. Big were wearing one each, too!" WordGirl exclaimed. "And so were Miss Question and Lady Redundant Woman!"

Before WordGirl could congratulate Huggy for finding a major clue, her super-hearing picked up a cry for help coming from the city docks. 

"Help!" cried a voice. "My earring shipments are being stolen!"

"Did you hear that, Huggy?" WordGirl asked her trusty best friend, who nodded. WordGirl made her way to the docks with a confident, "Word up!"

At the city docks, Captain Tangent was busy forcing the metal crates on a cargo ship to open up and spill their contents, which were various pirate-themed earrings: golden hoops, gold dubloons, skulls with jewels for eyes, tiny Jolly Rogers.

"Stop right there, Captain Tangent!" WordGirl cried, floating right behind the disgraced restaurant waiter.

"WordGirl!" cried Captain Tangent, turning around to face her... but he certainly didn't sound like Captain Tangent. His voice was too peppy, and he was missing that pirate accent. Captain Huggyface and Oscar exchanged threatening glares as WordGirl confronted Tangent. 

"You sound awfully funny, Captain Tangent," said WordGirl, narrowing her eyes. "And what would you want with a bunch of earrings anyway? Only one of your ears is pierced, so wouldn't you just want one of each?"

"Inv- um, Captain Tangent wants these earrings because they're quite... piratey," said Captain Tangent, although he said it like a first grader telling their mother that their imaginary friend stole those cookies from the cookie jar. 

WordGirl was confused. "Aren't you Captain Tangent?"

"Oh! Yeah. I mean me, I want these earrings. Because they are piratey," Captain Tangent corrected himself. 

Before WordGirl could point out how Captain Tangent didn't seem to be telling the truth, Captain Huggyface urgently shrieked and pointed at the pile of spilled earrings... several of which were floating away!

"Good eye, Huggy!" cried WordGirl, picking up her sidekick and throwing him at a space just above the floating earrings. Huggy hit what she was aiming for dead on, knocking the thief to the ground. Invisi-Bill turned visible again with a pop!

"Ahoy, matey- erm, I mean... Mr. Marmoset," said Invisi-Bill, in a much gruffer and less enthusiastic voice than normal. 

Captain Tangent grimaced while Huggy looked at Invisi-Bill in anger and confusion. While Tangent was distracted, WordGirl took the opportunity to take a torn-off strip of metal that once held the earring boxes shut, and used it to tie up Captain Tangent. 

"Hey!" Tangent protested, but WordGirl plucked off his magnetic pirate hook before he could use it to free himself. Oscar squawked and flew WordGirl's way to try and steal back his master's hook. WordGirl yelped and held the hook close. She was easily able to outpace the stuffed bird, and hovered just above the seawater the cargo ship was floating in. Just as she hoped, Oscar made a dive for the hook, but WordGirl dodged and sent him flying straight into the water. Now that Oscar's felt body was too wet to fly, WordGirl picked him up out of the water and put him on the ship deck next to the tied-up Tangent.

Now, WordGirl turned to Huggy and Invisi-Bill, who were currently battling over the pile of spilled earrings. Huggy was holding onto Invisi-Bill's head, while Bill popped in and out of sight. WordGirl zipped over and grabbed Invisi-Bill by the shirt collar, and tied him up with another metal piece of the torn-open earring box.

WordGirl picked up Captain Huggyface, and surveyed the downed criminals.

"Look, Huggy," said WordGirl, pointing at them. "They're wearing the same badges that the other villains were!" Captain Tangent and Invisi-Bill exchanged worried glances at WordGirl having discovered their badges, and connecting them to the other villains' badges. WordGirl floated closer to the captured criminals. 

"Let me see those," she said, leaning close to inspect their badges. Captain Tangent's badge displayed an empty mirror, and Invisi-Bill's displayed a Jolly Roger.

"They're, um, friendship badges," explained Invisi-Bill, with a wide, nervous smile. 

"Yeah!" Captain Tangent explained, with a nervous smile of his own. "Since we're friends, we designed badges for each other."

WordGirl nodded. "We'll see about that," she said. Just as she was about to fly off and look for the Butcher and the henchmen again, her super-hearing picked up yet another crime. 

"Help!" cried a panicked voice. "Someone is stealing all of our four-thousand-year-old cheddar!"

That was not normally something that would strike WordGirl as odd, but the call for help was accompanied by the maniacal laughter of...

...Chuck?

Chapter Text

WordGirl and her trusty sidekick and best friend Captain Huggyface flew through the sky on their way to the city's Cheeseum, a museum of cheese. It was actually one of the more normal museums in this city. Particularly compared to the Rubber Duck Museum and the Golf Ball Museum.

"Something is definitely wrong with the villains in this town, Huggy," WordGirl said to Captain Huggyface. Huggy chirped at her.

"Yes, I already- not something wrong as in they're nuts. I already knew they were nuts," WordGirl said defensively. "I mean, something is wrong as in something is different in a way that could potentially be a very big problem."

Captain Huggyface thought for a moment, before urgently chattering at her. WordGirl gasped in horror at what he was saying, realization dawning on her.

"You're right, Huggy!" she exclaimed. "I do remember how Dr. Two-Brains and I swapped voices when we got hit with the Mind Exchange Ray!"

The trip took a few seconds longer than normal due to her slowing down to talk to Huggy, but they still got to the Cheeseum on time- just in time to see Dr. Two-Brains- or, who looked like Dr. Two-Brains- standing in front of the four-thousand-year-old cheddar exhibit at the Cheeseum. There was a pile of green goop around the stand for the ancient blocks of cheese, one of which the alleged Dr. Two-Brains was holding and admiring hungrily. The mouse brain glowed an ominous green.

"Stop right there, Dr. Two-Brains!" WordGirl exclaimed, making Dr. Two-Brains freeze and turn around to face her.

"WordGirl!" he cried, and WordGirl's fears were confirmed: he had Chuck's voice... but he sounded a little different. His voice sounded hoarse, and was a bit higher than normal. Without a doubt, though, it was Chuck- and it brought back some of WordGirl's uglier memories.

Namely, how Chuck's voice had shifted. How he sounded enough like himself to sound recognizable, but not enough like himself to sound right. The way something was wrong, but WordGirl still instantly picked up on who it was. 

It reminded her of how someone else's voice was warped that way. 

"Hello? WordGirl?" (Dr. Sandwich-Brains?) asked, waving his hand in front of her face and snapping his fingers to get her attention, which was very impressive considering he was wearing rubber gloves.

"Huh? Oh, sorry," said WordGirl, shaking her head to clear it. "I was just thinking. Anyway, stop right there... Dr. Two-Brains!"

"Get your head in the game, WordGirl," said Dr. Sandwich-Brains, raising an eyebrow at her. "This is about me."

"This is about bringing evil to justice!" WordGirl exclaimed heroically, making a dive at Dr. Sandwich-Brains. Unfortunately, he sidestepped her, making her fly facefirst into the goop pile that was once the case for the ancient blocks of cheddar. WordGirl raised her head out of the goop and shook it out of her hair, and zipped away just in time to avoid another ray blasting, which turned a small portion of the carpet into a puddle of cottage cheese. 

WordGirl threw her trusty sidekick at Dr. Sandwich-Brains, and Huggy held onto his head tightly while the (doctor?) struggled to pry Huggy off of his head. While he was distracted, WordGirl grabbed the nearby World's Longest String Cheese exhibit, and in a red flash of her super-speed, our brave heroine had Dr. Sandwich-Brains tied up and helpless. 

WordGirl retrieved Huggy from the captured criminal's head. "Nice job, Huggy!" she congratulated him, giving him a high-five. She grabbed the cottage cheese ray out of Dr. Sandwich-Brains' hand, and admired it. It was small and looked a lot like the other handheld ray guns, but was white and lumpy to resemble cottage cheese. 

"Pretty neat-looking, Huggy," she said to her sidekick, who nodded in agreement. "I bet it'll look great in our collection."

WordGirl passed the ray gun to Huggy, before turning back to Dr. Sandwich-Brains- but his face quickly threw her train of thought out of wack. He was glowering at her from his spot on the floor, his red eyes narrowed with hate, the mouse brain glowing a faint, haunting green. There was something extra disturbing about how he looked like Dr. Two-Brains- but WordGirl knew it wasn't. It was Chuck in that body. It was Chuck staring her down like a bull about to charge. Chuck, who was perfectly happy to make idle conversation while he was tied up and waiting for the police to come take him away. She shuddered at the smoldering fury etched on his face. This wasn't the childlike grumpiness Chuck had when she foiled his schemes. This was something else. 

Something else chillingly familiar.

WordGirl was broken out of her trance by Huggy squeaking at her in concern, gently prodding her arm to bring her back to reality. WordGirl blinked a little, before looking away from the captured criminal whose glare had unsettled her so. 

"Um.. yeah, I'm alright, Huggy," said WordGirl, trying to reassure her loyal friend as well as the several concerned civilians watching. 

"Alright, time to take him-" WordGirl said, turning back to the tied-up villain, but wincing upon seeing his angry face again. 

"It's okay, WordGirl, you've already stopped him," said a spectator kindly, trying to make the city's favorite little hero feel better.

"Yeah," added another bystander. "The police can take it from here."

WordGirl gave them a little nervous smile. "Thanks, guys," she said, picking up her sidekick and flying out of the museum once more. 

Instead of going home, however, WordGirl began flying to the city jail. Huggy chattered in her ear about how home was the other way, but WordGirl kept flying. 

"I think we need to tell somebody about this," said WordGirl, still rather shaken up. She wasn't sure why Chuck in Dr. Two-Brains' body bothered her so much. She'd seen angry, dangerous criminals before. She saw them pretty much every other day.

It wasn't like she had been in danger, either. Even if she was, she'd stared certain doom in the face and spat in its eyes before. Many times, actually. 

But this time, a villain she just defeated was merely giving her the stink eye, and she had to leave because it bothered her so much?

What was that about?

Before she could land in front of the city jail and go inside, Huggy chirped at her about what was wrong. WordGirl paused, clenching her teeth, not really wanting to answer. But then Huggy asked again, in that special tone of voice that someone who truly loves you uses when they want to make you feel better, and WordGirl couldn't keep it together anymore.

"It- it was his face," WordGirl stuttered, her eyes starting to water, and her throat starting to hurt. "It was the way he- he got so mad. Chuck.. Ch-Chuck doesn't- get mad like that." It only took another few moments of sniffling before she said what they were both thinking.

"But... Steven didn't get mad like that, either."

Huggy wrapped his arms around her neck in a gentle hug. He chittered at her again, this time telling her that, in Dr. Two-Brains' body, Squeaky corrupted her, too, and that it was only more of a reason to let Warden Chalmers know why his prisoners would be acting funny until this whole mess was sorted out.

"Yeah," WordGirl sniffed, rubbing her eyes. "Yeah. That's true. And since the situation is familiar, we have a better sense of what to do. Thanks, Huggy." She felt a little better, now that Huggy had calmly explained that she didn't need to be upset. That this was far from an unfixable problem.

Huggy chirped at her again. 

"Oh. Familiar?" asked WordGirl, smiling at the opportunity to define a word. "Well, if something is familiar, that means you recognize it, or you've seen something like it before. Since the Mind Exchange Ray has been used before, we've seen a situation similar to the one we're in now, which means it's familiar." WordGirl put her erm, actually finger away, and looked at Huggy, seeing that he had a knowing smile on his face. She giggled at him.

"You asked me to define a word so I'd cheer up, didn't you?" WordGirl asked. Huggy closed his eyes and shrugged. 

"Thanks, Huggy," she said, giving him a big hug, before finally floating down to the ground and walking into the city prison. The warden was sitting at his desk, as usual, watching his little TV and eating a grilled cheese sandwich. A couple of villains were in the prison cells around him, but some cells were empty, a few due to being reserved for villains who went to jail so often it was just easier to keep their cell empty for them. Among the villains in jail were Leslie (who was gleefully squishing a squishy bunny), the Learnerer (who was throwing magnetic darts at a copy of one of Dr. Two-Brains' mugshots), and Invisi-Bill and Captain Tangent, who were trying on various pirate hats and eyepatches together. Bill and Tangent waved at WordGirl when she walked in, and she waved back at them. 

"Hm? WordGirl!" cried Warden Chalmers happily, turning around to greet the young hero. "And Captain Fuzzyface! So wonderful to see you two."

"It's Captain Huggyface," WordGirl corrected the warden, landing next to his desk. "And it's good to see you, too, because... well, can we talk about something?" She looked around at the imprisoned villains, no doubt listening. "Alone?"

Warden Chalmers looked concerned, but stood up and took her to the prison courtyard. A couple of villains were playing basketball, but the warden took her to an empty corner where no one could hear their conversation. 

"Now, what's wrong?" asked Warden Chalmers, clearly concerned for his favorite superpowered little girl and her pet alien chimpanzee.

"Well... do you remember that one time Dr. Two-Brains made a monorail, and attached a cheese ray on the front of the train to turn the whole city into cheese?" asked WordGirl. 

"It rings a bell," answered the warden. 

"Well, on that day, he also made a powerful ray gun, with the ability to switch the minds of two people," WordGirl continued.

"What?" asked the warden. "That's ridiculous! How would that even work?"

"He's a guy with two brains, who erected an entire monorail track overnight, and gave it the ability to turn the city into cheese. So he could eat it. An entire city. He was going to eat an entire city, made of cheese," said WordGirl. 

"Fair point," said the warden. "Continue."

"Anyway, do you remember how the mayor was suspiciously on board with that plan?" asked WordGirl. 

"Why, yes I do!" Warden Chalmers exclaimed. "I couldn't believe it. I told myself that the day our fine mayor supported the city's most wanted man, I'd eat my hat. And that very day, I did. I took my hat, dipped it in salsa, and ate it. Man, that was a tasty hat..."

"But that wasn't the mayor," WordGirl said. "Dr. Two-Brains used his ray to swap his human mind with the mayor's, so it was actually Dr. Two-Brains in the mayor's body!"

"Hmm... I do recall the mayor saying something like that," the warden commented.

WordGirl nodded. "He was telling the truth!" she exclaimed. "And now, I think that somebody is using that Mind Exchange Ray to shuffle the minds of every villain in town!"

"Shuffle their minds?" asked the warden, puzzled. 

"Oh- well, when you shuffle a bunch of things, that means you rearrange them very thoroughly," explained WordGirl. "Like when you shuffle a deck of cards, you're rearranging the cards so you don't know what order they're in."

"Hmm!" exclaimed the warden, understanding. "So since somebody is shuffling the villains' minds, we won't know who is in which body."

"Exactly," answered WordGirl. "But we can use clues about how they're acting to figure out who they are, as well as using their voices. The Mind Exchange Ray switches their voices, too."

"Really!" Warden Chalmers exclaimed. "I did think that Captain Tangent had an unusually high voice. I just thought he accidentally inhaled some helium."

WordGirl nodded. "I noticed that, too. I think he and Invisi-Bill have swapped bodies," she said, scratching her chin. "That still doesn't explain the weird badges they were wearing. I don't think they're really friendship badges."

"Whatever's going on, WordGirl, we'll get to the bottom of it," said Warden Chalmers with a comforting smile. "Or I'll eat my hat!"

Chapter Text

Chuck, after managing to eat the string cheese WordGirl had captured him in, had escaped the Cheeseum with the museum guards and the police hot on his trail. Because he was chased out so quickly, Squeaky hadn't gotten his fill of cheese.

And that made Squeaky very, very angry.

"Stupid human!" Squeaky snarled furiously. "New Human's aim is terrible! Just like Old Human's aim! If New Human had been trying, Pajama Girl would be a delicious chunk of cheese!"

"But... you got the string cheese," Chuck whispered, holding his head and bending over, trying to hide his face from any passersby. It didn't work, since everybody knew that there weren't many white-haired people in khakis, a labcoat, yellow gloves, clutching their head in pain and muttering to themselves while stumbling away from a crime scene. That description tended to fit only one person. Despite Chuck's efforts to remain low-profile, the random civilians near him quickly assumed that he was Dr. Two-Brains and freaked out, which only made more people look at him, and then they freaked out...

Eventually, Chuck made his way to the less crowded areas of the city, near the neighborhoods, and hid in a clump of bushes outside a tiny coffee shop. The police on his tail drove right by, missing him. Chuck's eyes were watering, his heart was pounding so hard he was surprised the police couldn't hear it from their car, and his whole body was trembling like a leaf in a tornado. He was scared, shaken, and furious all at the same time.

Chuck found all of this odd. He was obviously no stranger to committing crimes and going to jail. He was tied with the Butcher as the city's second most wanted man, after all!

But this had been different. This wasn't a crime he had committed to get more money. This was a crime he hadn't thought through, and committed to make Squeaky be a little nicer to him. Now that he had failed, he was upset- not because he wasn't going to be much better off than before, but because he was now much worse off than before.

"Good hiding, New Human," Squeaky hissed, his intention oozing sarcasm. "A blind and brain-dead sheep could almost miss us in here."

"Why are you so mean?" Chuck demanded, sniffing and rubbing his eyes. Thanks to Squeaky's anger, he was getting angry, too. He had been angry ever since Squeaky sent him out on a cheese hunt, in fact. Too angry to think very hard about how he was going to go about robbing the Cheeseum, which is why his plan ended up a mess.

"Squeaky is not mean," Squeaky insisted. "Squeaky is merely pointing out the obvious! The obvious being that New Human could do much, much better."

Chuck furiously rubbed his eyes and poked his head out of the bush he was hiding in, having learned by now that talking to Squeaky would only cause problems. So, instead of directly addressing Squeaky, he began looking around for where he would go next. Mainly, somewhere he recognized, so he was able to navigate his way back to Dr. Two-Brains' warehouse and come up with new plans there.

New plans for figuring out how to become the city's number one villain, so that Chuck would be fled from by panicked passersby as he walked down the street.

Luckily, Chuck found a spot he recognized. Nearby was a blue house, one he had seen before and could navigate to his mother's house from. Then, from his mother's house, he could navigate back to the warehouse- maybe stopping to say hello to his mom while he was there. Chuck cautiously emerged from the bushes and began walking towards the blue house. 

"This plan of yours does not involve getting Squeaky any cheese," Squeaky observed. Chuck was rather unsettled that Squeaky had eavesdropped on his thoughts.

"Why should it?" Chuck thought angrily, deciding to stand up for himself. "You're nothing but mean to me! You haven't politely asked for any cheese. You never even said 'please!'"

"Polite? Polite!?" Squeaky demanded, but not angrily- he found Chuck's request for politeness very, very funny. So funny that his mouth twisted into a smile and a snicker escaped his throat without any input from Chuck. "New Human will not get to be the most feared human in the city by being polite!"

"That doesn't mean you have to be mean to me," Chuck answered. Even though Squeaky's amusement calmed Chuck down a little, Chuck was still rattled at how Squeaky made the body laugh all on his own. That awful, hoarse, cackle would haunt him forever.

"New Human! New Human clearly does not understand," said Squeaky. "He must earn the title of being the scariest human! He cannot just act all scary! He must be that scary. Otherwise he is just a poser! An undeserving fraud!" Squeaky's humor grew into anger.

"Old Human was not scary! He was a wimp!" Squeaky said in a scolding voice, almost as if reprimanding this "Old Human" guy right now. "Old Human never wanted to be scary and mean! Not at first, anyway. It was awful! Squeaky managed to help him, though. With Squeaky's help, Old Human managed to let his meaner impulses out." Squeaky, despite the mild praise given to this Old Human guy, Squeaky was still clearly very disappointed in him.

"He was not as great as he could have been, because it wasn't who he was!" Squeaky cried angrily, causing a sharp stabbing sensation in Chuck's head that made him flinch. "Old Human was that undeserving fraud! No matter how Squeaky tried to help him, he refused to take advantage of all the world of humans has to offer! He acted and pretended, but Squeaky could never make it who he was! Unless New Human makes it who he is, he will be no better than Old Human was!"

"Make it who I am?" Chuck wondered, briefly pausing his journey to the blue house. Now that Squeaky had given him actual advice- no matter how weird it was- Chuck was inclined to listen. Squeaky did personally know the most wanted man in the city, after all.

"Yes, New Human!" Squeaky agreed, suddenly growing excited at the chance that Chuck understood what he was saying. Chuck got excited, too, as Squeaky's emotions leaked into Chuck's mind. Chuck had his own excitement: the possibility that his dreams might come true. With that unexpected mood boost, Chuck continued onward towards his mother's house, standing taller and walking with a bit more spring in his step. He had managed to reach the blue house, and made a turn down the road. His mother's house was just a few houses down.

"New Human is not a fraud... is he?" Squeaky asked slyly, his intentions uncharacteristically calm and curious. Still, there was an air of deception in there.

"No way!" Chuck answered with enthusiasm, wrongfully assuming that Squeaky was encouraging him. Squeaky's sizzling excitement quickly turned to roiling rage, making Chuck gasp in surprise and grab his head. 

"WRONG!" Squeaky shrieked in sudden fury, making Chuck's head pound and his blood burn with transferred hate. His mind swam with Squeaky's emotions: betrayal, fury, shattered hopes that Chuck might have been a promising human to work with. Those emotions made Chuck growl angrily. 

Squeaky continued his fuming rant and alas, dear reader, those thoughts were not clear and coherent enough to translate directly into plain English. Chuck, though, understood perfectly, as those thoughts were being beamed directly into his head: Squeaky thought that Chuck was too soft for villainy. Squeaky thought that Chuck was a case much worse than the previous human mind, because though Old Human was kind-hearted and wished no one any real harm, he didn't go around pretending that he did for the sake of an empty ego boost.

"Why don't you believe in me!?" Chuck thought, his emotions a mix of fury and despair he'd be ashamed to admit to out loud. "Just when I thought you were on my side!"

"Squeaky does not believe in New Human because there is NOTHING TO BELIEVE IN," Squeaky howled, and Chuck could barely hear his own thoughts anymore. Or, at least... he was pretty sure he couldn't. It was getting hard to tell who was thinking what.

"That is it! I'm tired of you, Squeaky!" Chuck retorted angrily, and trying to get his message through Squeaky's smothering smog of fury felt like trying to run a marathon while waist-deep in mud. "My mom will sort out this mess! I'm going to tell her all about how awful you've been to me! And she'll save me, because she's nice, unlike you! She says 'please' and 'thank you,' and she taught me never to kick doors shut because it's bad manners."

"HA," was Squeaky's smug, snide, yet still fuming reply. "New Human really is just like Old Human! Such a whimpering coward that he cannot even stand up for himself! He has to run to his mommy for help!"

At last, the pain in Chuck's head began to subside when Squeaky's fury dimmed from a roaring inferno to a crackling campfire.

"Say, New Human," Squeaky thought mischievously, "does this 'mommy' character have any cheese?"

"No! Oh no you don't!" Chuck cried in protest, recalling his mother's cheese drawer in the fridge. But then, as he thought of it, Squeaky's intense desire for cheese began to settle in. Despite that, Chuck thought of how upset his mother would be if someone she thought was Dr. Two-Brains showed up and stole all of her cheese, and that thought managed to snap him out of it.

"My mama is keeping all of her cheese, and she's going to hear about all of this!" Chuck continued furiously. He forced his legs to begin walking forward again. His mother's house was so close. He'd crawl to it if he had to! Anything to get away from Squeaky and his obnoxious excuse for a personality!

But luckily (or unluckily) for Chuck, Squeaky was also very interested in getting to Chuck's mother's house. The closer he got to his mother's house (and, by extension, her loving arms), the stronger Squeaky's hunger for cheese got. Chuck repeated his goal in his head so Squeaky's desires didn't drown out his own, but that only made Squeaky angrier.

By the time he got to his mother's door, he had nearly forgotten his original goal, and he had to admit: he was really, really craving some cheese. Chuck rang the doorbell.

"Just a minute!" his mother's voice cried from inside, and for the first time in his life, Chuck didn't feel any twinge of love and excitement from hearing it. 

His mother opened the door, although one of the valances above it came loose and hung down, obscuring her face. 

"Oh. It's you," said Chuck's mother irritably. 

"Mom, you might not believe this, but I'm actually your son, Chuck," Chuck said in his mind.

"Hand over all of the cheese in this house!" Chuck said out loud.

"Excuse me, mister?" asked Chuck's mother indignantly. Normally, Chuck would have felt awful upsetting his mother so much. But right now, he wanted cheese too badly to care.

"Give me all of your cheese, or I'll turn you into cheese!" Chuck exclaimed angrily, taking the classic yellow, cheese-looking ray gun out of Dr. Two-Brains' labcoat and pointing it at his mother. Chuck's mother was briefly stunned, before turning around and leading him deeper into the house. Chuck followed, and closed the door behind him. 

As Chuck followed his mother in search of the cheese, Chuck realized that his mother wasn't leading him to the kitchen. She was leading him to the guest room.

"Hey!" Chuck barked, making his mother stop. Chuck gestured in the real direction of the kitchen. "The kitchen is that way!"

Chuck's mother paused briefly, before growling to herself and turning towards the actual kitchen. "I see you've learned quite a bit about the layout, from that time you threw that party here," she told him angrily. She grouchily gestured to the fridge in the kitchen.

"Yes, I have, thank you," Chuck hissed at her, scurrying over to the fridge and opening it. It was full of his mother's delicious sandwiches, which Chuck normally would have been all over, but he didn't care one bit right now. 

Instead, Chuck viciously yanked the crisper drawer from the bottom of the fridge, beholding all of the cheese within it. Chuck let out a maniacal cackle, his mouth twisting in a wicked grin. Chuck hummed happily and kicked the fridge door shut, making his way out of the house with his mother's cheese drawer, still pointing his ray at her until he was all the way out of the house and could take off running back towards the warehouse.

A few minutes after Chuck fled the scene, his mother called WordGirl over to let her know about it, and WordGirl ended up explaining the whole mess, although through the kitchen window, so a curtain ended up obscuring Chuck's mother's face. Unfortunately, Chuck's mother didn't believe WordGirl for one moment.

"I'm telling you, that was not my Chuckie-bear!" his mother was going on in disbelief.

"I know it's hard to believe, but please," WordGirl pleaded, and Huggy chattered in agreement. "The villains in this city are swapping minds with each other, and Huggy and I are trying to figure out who is where so we can set it right!"

Chuck's mother sighed in consideration. "It was just... nothing like Chuck! He was acting so violent! So evil! So impolite!"

"That tends to happen when people swap minds with Dr. Two-Brains," WordGirl explained sympathetically. "But don't worry, Huggy and I will get Chuck and all of the other villains back to normal in no time!"

"Do hurry, WordGirl! I can't imagine what could make my poor Chuckleberry act like that," said Chuck's mother. The raw, motherly concern in her voice made WordGirl's heart break. It reminded her of how she felt, back when Dr. Two-Brains first started his descent into villainy. Being worried for somebody you cared about, watching their body go and do things that the person you knew wouldn't dream of. 

It was difficult.

"I will," WordGirl said, swallowing a lump in her throat and flying away with a heroic, "Word up!"

Chapter Text

Yesterday evening, after the events of chapter 5, Victoria Best showed up at Eileen's house, legs horribly aching from walking all that way. She felt like she'd collapse the moment she walked inside- but, knowing Eileen, Victoria would probably wake up with a frilly pink dress and a new hairstyle if she did.

Once Victoria rang the doorbell and hummed along to the Happy Birthday To You instrumental that followed, she was surprised to see Eileen herself answer the door.

"Hi, Vicky-Wicky!" Eileen giggled happily, in that endlessly irritating baby voice of hers. "Are you hewe for my biwfday party?"

"Um... yeah, sure," answered Victoria. She knew how Eileen could be when denied things she wanted- or, even worse, when you failed to acknowledge her birthday. The mental image of that huge, green monster haunted Victoria's nightmares.

Eileen happily dragged Victoria into the house, shutting the door behind her. Eileen then grabbed Victoria's wrist and dragged her upstairs to Eileen's bedroom, barely giving Victoria time to look around at the so far mostly normal-looking house.

"Hey guys!" Eileen exclaimed, finally stopping in front of her bedroom door and letting to of Victoria. "We have another guest!"

Victoria initially feared that there would be other people there, and she shuddered at imagining what their situation would be. Would they be just as bad as Eileen? Would they be normal children taken prisoner? Victoria imagined the anguished faces of her classmates behind the door, as they were chained to their seats and force-fed cake, and had everything they had on them taken for a present by the guest of honor.

When Eileen pushed the door open, Victoria instinctively screamed bloody murder before even seeing what was inside.

"I know! It's so exciting, wight?" asked Eileen, giggling and pulling Victoria into the room.

Once Victoria opened her eyes, she discovered that the room was actually not really that horrible. Sure, the walls, ceiling, curtains, carpet, table, chairs, bed, and dresser were all some hideous shade of pink; but Victoria could handle that. When she saw the table, she saw various stuffed animals sitting in chairs around it, each having a plate, fork, knife, and a teacup for them. Their plates had cake crumbs on them, and their teacups had clearly once had tea in them. A teapot and a big plate sat in the middle of the table.

"You missed today's party," said Eileen, getting on the floor next to her bed and dragging out a sickeningly pink sleeping bag. "But you can come to tomorrow's party! Because tomowow's my biwfday!"

Victoria forced a smile. "Thanks, Eileen," she said awkwardly. Normally, she would have scoffed and gotten down to business... but this was Eileen. And doing that to Eileen would land Victoria in big, big trouble. Eileen had already put the sleeping bag on the floor next to the bed, and was now hunting through the dresser.

"I can see Vicky-Wicky didn't bring any pajamas," Eileen observed conversationally. "But that's okay! You can wear some of mine!" She successfully dragged out a horrifyingly pink nightgown, littered with strawberry and bunny icons. Eileen happily tossed the nightgown Victoria's way.

After both girls put on their pajamas, they crawled into their respective sleeping spots. Eileen fell asleep pretty quickly, but Victoria took a bit longer. She kept feeling like Eileen's stuffed animals were staring at her.

The next morning, Victoria woke up before Eileen did. Victoria decided to wait at first, but she couldn't stand the stuffed animals all alone, and eventually decided to wake up Eileen. She stretched, got out of her sleeping bag, and poked Eileen's shoulder until she sleepily opened her eyes.

"Wuh...?" Eileen asked, blinking at Victoria. Victoria wasn't really sure what to say here- but she knew she had to say it fast. 

"Happy birthday!" Victoria exclaimed, and Eileen beamed at her. She got out of bed and gave Victoria a big, tight hug. 

"Thanks, Vicky-Wicky!" Eileen exclaimed happily. Eileen let go and rushed over to the table to begin collecting the dishes on it, leaving Victoria gasping for air.

"Come on! I've gotta prepare for my party," Eileen said happily. With that, Eileen happily bounced out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen, with Victoria walking normally behind her. Victoria briefly wondered where in the world Eileen's parents were, but brushed it off, assuming they were on a work trip or something.

Victoria got to Eileen's mostly ordinary kitchen, and paused to look at it. It was nothing like the Best family kitchen. This kitchen was smaller, the counters were dark, polished wood. The floor was an endearing, faded blue split up into worn tiles. The windows were old and stained, as was the floor, the cupboards, the walls, and the countertops- but they weren't gross, awful stains that came from something nasty and stank like rotten milk. They were stains simply from age, and they reeked of love.

Eileen was already humming and tapping her feet while washing the plates. She turned to Victoria.

"About time you showed up, Vicky-Wicky!" Eileen giggled. Victoria hated to admit it, but Eileen's happiness was a bit contagious.

"You can dwy these and put them back on the table upstaiws," Eileen instructed, pointing at the dish drainer next to the sink, where two little plates were already sitting.

"Of course. I'm the best at setting tables," Victoria boasted, recalling with a shudder all those nights her parents made her set the table and then sent her to bed after she won second-place in a school contest.

Victoria grabbed one of the little towels hung on the drawer handles, and picked it up. It was just like the rest of the kitchen: old, worn, and homely. It was so far removed from her own pristine, polished kitchen that Victoria had to pause and admire it, before she got on with her task of drying off the dishes Eileen was washing.

Once Victoria had dried off the two plates, and a third that Eileen had washed while Victoria was drying, Victoria set the towel down and left to go put the plates at the table. Soon enough, Victoria had completely set the table, and Eileen had moved on to boiling water on the old, worn, rusty stovetop. Even though Victoria had never been here before, she felt more at home than she had ever felt in her own house.

"This is fow the tea," Eileen explained to Victoria, pointing at the tea kettle on the stove. "While the watew boils, you can take a look at the cake!"

"There's a cake?" Victoria asked. She assumed that the cake that was on the table last night was the only cake. She supposed it would make sense for somebody who thought every day was their birthday would have several cakes lying around, but wouldn't there be no room for actual food?

"Of course I have a cake, silly!" Eileen giggled, walking over to the fridge and opening it. She leaned forward and pulled out a truly beautiful cake: it was chocolate with elaborate chocolate frosting, strawberry slices decorating the sides, and several unlit candles poked out of the top.

"Wow," said Victoria in an uncharacteristically flat voice, momentarily taken aback by the thick, cold, chocolatey smell that wafted her way.

"I know, wight?" asked Eileen, handing the cake to Victoria. Victoria took it very, very carefully, terrified of dropping it on the floor.

"You take this upstaiws while I make the tea!" Eileen told Victoria. Victoria nodded silently, completely focused on not dropping the chocolatey goodness she held in her hands.

It took a few minutes, but Victoria managed to creep up the stairs, into Eileen's bedroom, and set the cake down on the table. Much to Victoria's horror, all of the stuffed animals had their arms on the table, a small box on the floor next to each of their chairs, and they were all staring at the center of the table with their lifeless, black beaded eyes.

Before Victoria could freak out about that, Eileen came through the door holding a teapot. The guest of honor happily sat down in one of the empty chairs and put the teapot on the table. Victoria sat down in the other empty chair, which happened to be facing Eileen. Before Victoria could say anything, Eileen pulled a lighter out of her dress pocket, much to Victoria's alarm. Victoria calmed down, though, when Eileen simply used them to light the candles on the cake, close her eyes, and then blow them out.

"Uh- good job on the candles," said Victoria, hoping that this party would not end in Eileen becoming green with envy... or anger... or greed... or whatever emotion made her get all big and scary. "I've actually been wanting to ask you something."

"Wait! I have to open the pwesents fiwst," said Eileen. She bent down and grabbed one of the little boxes next to the stuffed giraffe's chair on her left. Eileen gleefully tore open the box, revealing a pair of clip-on birthday cake earrings.

"Mrs. Raffie! You shouldn't have!" Eileen exclaimed, happily putting on the earrings and giving the stuffed giraffe a big hug. "But actually, you should have. Because it's my biwfday."

Next, Eileen took the box that the pony stuffie had under its chair. Eileen giddily opened this box, revealing a small tiara. She gasped and put it on.

"How do I look?" Eileen asked, turning to face the mirror on the wall.

"You look great, Eileen!" Victoria answered, not daring to give Eileen anything but glowing approval.

Eileen smiled and looked back to the table. She looked at the chair legs, counting past the giraffe and the pony, and stopping on the next chair.

Victoria's chair.

"Well?" Eileen asked, in a tone so deceptively giddy that Victoria forgot the danger present.

"Well what?" asked Victoria. Eileen didn't like that answer at all.

"Well, where's your present?" Eileen asked, her smile and giddiness melting away like a wax carving's face. Victoria's heart jumped in horror.

"Well, see, my present is a bit- um- complicated," Victoria stammered. "I-I don't quite have it- um- yet. But, well... have... have you heard of the competition that the villains are having? It was announced at a-a, um, meeting. Recently."

"I didn't go to that meeting," Eileen said in a dangerous voice, a twinge of green fading into her skin. "It was my biwfday."

"Right. So, uh- Doctor Two-Brains, he- he gave us all these funny badges," Victoria began, pointing to the badge on her sweater. Eileen relaxed a little bit.

"I've got one of those!" Eileen exclaimed, pulling it out of her pocket and displaying it. "Tobey-Wobey gave it to me for my biwfday."

"Yeah!" Victoria answered. "See, the villains are changing minds to see who can use which powers better. So I wanted to swap minds with you, so you can have my powers as a birthday present."

Eileen seemed to understand, nodding in agreement. "So how do we switch minds?"-

"Well, that's the hard part," Victoria answered. "To do that, we need a ray gun. But Dr. Two-Brains still has the ray gun, and nobody quite knows where he is. All I know is that he swapped minds with Chuck, so we'd be looking for Chuck's body."

Eileen nodded in determination and stood up. "So all we've got to do is find the guy in Chucky-Man's body, and then I get my present?"

Victoria nodded. "Exactly."

"Well, then, let's go!" Eileen exclaimed, rushing out the door. Victoria stood up and scrambled after her. Victoria felt silly for doubting her plan so much- she should have known that Eileen would do anything for her birthday presents.

Chapter Text

WordGirl sat in what she called the living room of her spaceship: the biggest room, with the carousel pony, the trampoline, the spaceship's computer, and various other things that she didn't have better places to put. According to Huggy, this room used to be a meeting room for slimy Lexiconian politicians to decide which planets to blow up, but WordGirl thought that calling it the living room was much more convenient, and her friends seemed to agree.

Ah, her friends. Her best friends in the whole world: Scoops, Violet, and Rex. Not counting Huggy, they were probably the people WordGirl was closest to, considering how they were all currently sitting in the living room of her super top-secret alien spaceship and playing with her significantly less top-secret human stuff.

Violet, ever the artist, was carefully inspecting the carousel pony, lovingly touching its nose and admiring every crease in its gorgeous mane. Rex, in his Kid Math costume, was floating around the walls, examining the star shapes and probably calculating their exact dimensions in his head. Scoops, a journalist at heart, had his notepad out and was frantically scrabbling notes in it about the spaceship computer like there was no tomorrow, while Huggy was using said computer to look up something very important.

"Scoops!" WordGirl exclaimed, landing on the ground next to him. Scoops jumped, and looked at her with an almost guilty expression.

"But you said I could pick one thing to write about!" Scoops cried defensively, sounding kind of like a first grader trying to convince his mom to let him have another cookie. Writing about things meant the world to Scoops, and while the public knowing the whole layout of the spaceship was not ideal, WordGirl decided that one thing was okay. Especially for her friend's happiness.

"Oh, I know I did, and you still can," WordGirl explained, and Scoops looked very pleased with that. "I just don't want you to use up all of your note space right now, because I have other things I want you to take notes on." Scoops' eyes widened as he remembered why he had been brought here.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, then chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry. I completely forgot."

"Speaking of that, I need all three of you to be listening," WordGirl said. She floated over to Violet, who was cooing praises into the carousel pony's porcelain ear. 

"Hi, Violet!" said WordGirl, trying to keep her voice low to avoid startling Violet. Humans were usually not so heavily focused on things, but Violet often found herself so engulfed in whatever she was doing that the building could be on fire and she would still be busy inspecting the brush strokes of her favorite painting.

Luckily, Violet wasn't too spooked by WordGirl saying her name, nor was she irritated by the interruption. Instead, Violet told the carousel horse she'd talk to it later, and turned to look at WordGirl.

"Hi, Be- um, WordGirl," Violet said sweetly, cringing at her near slip-up.

"Hi, Violet," WordGirl said again. "Huggy's found the footage, so I need you guys to watch it with me, so we can examine it together."

"Oh," said Violet with a small smile. "I'll let Kid Math know." Violet looked up to the wall, where Kid Math was still absolutely fixated on one of the painted stars.

"It's okay, I've got him," WordGirl said, before zipping right up behind Kid Math and poking him on the shoulder.

"Ah! What? Where?" Kid Math asked, frantically looking around. WordGirl giggled at him. 

"It's just me," she said, much to Kid Math's relief.

"Oh," he answered, putting a smile on his face. "Sorry for freaking out. I was just so caught up with all of the shapes around here!"

WordGirl smiled as well, happy to see her friend happy. "I'm glad you like them," she said. Then, she lowered her voice so that neither Violet nor Scoops could hear. She wasn't entirely sure how good human hearing was, but for this particular conversation, she didn't want to run the risk of talking to loud.

"Do you remember when I said that no one could learn your secret identity as Rex?" WordGirl asked, her voice hardly more than a whisper.

"Yeah," Kid Math answered in a normal, but confused voice. "Why are you-"

"Shhh!" WordGirl whispered, putting a finger on Kid Math's lips. "That also includes Scoops and Violet!"

Kid Math thought for a moment, before realization dawned on his face. "You don't want them to hear what you're about to say," he whispered.

WordGirl nodded. "Exactly," she confirmed. "Violet, Scoops, and I have all come to a sort of agreement. They all know my secret identity, so they can discuss crime-solving with me in our civilian lives, without us having to come here all the time. But since they don't have any superpowers, fighting crime directly would be quite the safety hazard for them."

Kid Math nodded, seeming to understand for the most part. Still, he looked a little confused. "They know your secret identity?" he asked. "I thought you were awfully protective of it!"

WordGirl got a little nervous at his question. Her secret identity had always been a bit of a sensitive subject, but its sensitivity was greatly exacerbated by Violet finding out, feeling lied to, and getting so upset over it. Those few days where she thought she lost her best friend were probably some of the worst days of her life, not just because of the risk to a close friendship, but because WordGirl's own actions had caused said risk. Or, at least, WordGirl and Violet both thought so.

It wasn't like WordGirl hadn't lost friends before, but she had never felt so responsible for it before. Miss Power lying wasn't WordGirl's fault- and it just meant that Miss Power was never a friend to begin with. Getting framed by some villain for something she didn't do wasn't her fault, even if the public thought she was guilty. She had occasionally gotten carried away and ended up offending Captain Huggyface, her closest ally, but she had always made it up to him. Even Professor Boxleitner's gruesome lab accident, easily the most impactful and long-lasting broken friendship, had absolutely nothing to do with WordGirl at all. She didn't even know what exactly had happened, Steven had just kind of stumbled onto the street one day with a mouse brain, whiskers, and a new penchant for evil.

But the way Violet felt? How hurt she was, how lied to she felt? WordGirl could've prevented that. If WordGirl had spoken up sooner, it wouldn't have happened. She couldn't have known that Miss Power was secretly trying to take over the world, or that some villain was going to frame her for some crime, or that some fluke was going to turn a close ally into a mortal enemy.

But WordGirl could have avoided hurting Violet. As a superhero, it was her job to keep people from hurting, and if she could keep Kid Math from going through what WordGirl did with Violet, then doing so would be the right thing to do.

Wouldn't it?

"Well... Violet ended up finding out on accident," WordGirl explained to Kid Math, not wanting to go to deep into detail. "Scoops found out on accident a while ago, so since both of them know now, I thought I'd take advantage of not having to hide my crime-fighting from them by inviting them to help me solve crimes. I was wondering if you wanted to tell them your secret identity, so that they could help you out, too."

Kid Math still seemed confused, but he thought about it for a moment.

"Um... okay," he agreed. "I guess that makes sense." Then, he perked up a little. "And if we work together to fight crime, it'll be better if the same people know our secret identities."

WordGirl nodded in agreement. "Exactly," she said.

Taking a deep breath to ease her anxieties, WordGirl floated back downwards to the floor, where Violet and Scoops were waiting. Kid Math floated down behind her.

"So... guys," WordGirl began uneasily. "Remember Rex, the new kid at school?"

"Yeah," answered Violet.

"Of course we remember him, he's right there," answered Scoops, pointing at Kid Math. WordGirl was very alarmed.

"What?" WordGirl asked in a panic, looking between Kid Math and Scoops. "You knew already?"

"Yeah," answered Violet. A twinge of disappointment was audible in her voice, but it was no more than a twinge.

Kid Math playfully nudged WordGirl's shoulder. "I told you it's obvious!" he said. "I'm surprised it hasn't occurred to anyone else yet!"

WordGirl took a moment to calm down. "Okay, great. Unexpected, but great," she said. Then, she looked over to the spaceship computer, where Captain Huggyface was sitting and waiting impatiently.

"Now that we've got that settled, let's go look at that footage I called you here for," said WordGirl, floating over to the computer with her friends following behind her.

"Take out your notebook, Scoops!" WordGirl exclaimed happily, as Huggy hopped off of the computer desk and let WordGirl sit down. Her friends gathered around her and sat on the spare chairs put out for this very occasion. Each friend was watching the computer with curiosity. Displayed on the screen was a still of some footage from the museum. It was filmed from above and off to the side, at an odd angle- it was taken from a security camera.

"This is security footage from the museum, on the day that Lady Redundant Woman and Miss Question robbed it," WordGirl explained. "I brought you all here so we could watch it together, and maybe spot some clues that we didn't catch the first time around."

So, Huggy skipped forward to where Lady Redundant Woman and Miss Question first showed up on screen, and let the footage play. It did indeed show the two villains tricking the guard and robbing the museum (if you missed how that happened, go back and read chapter 3. Don't worry, this chapter will still be here when you get back!), but after the devious duo had managed to stun WordGirl, Huggy indeed noticed something that he hadn't at the time of the robbery. In the rush to leave with the stolen loot, one of the Lady Redundant Women dropped a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket. Huggy screeched in urgency, paused the footage, and pointed to the paper on the screen.

The kids' faces all lit up with excitement.

"Good eye, Huggy!" WordGirl exclaimed, zooming in on the piece of paper. Scoops, Violet, and Kid Math all nosily leaned over her shoulders to get a better look.

Unfortunately, no matter how much WordGirl zoomed in on the piece of paper, the resolution was too grainy to make out what was on it. From what she could see, though... it almost looked like a list.

Great minds must think alike, because Kid Math, Scoops, and Violet exclaimed her thoughts exactly.

"That looks like a list!" Scoops cried happily.

"Maybe it's a list of places where they'll strike next?" suggested Violet.

"If we can still find that list, we can use it to wait for them at the scene of their next crime!" Kid Math cried with enthusiasm.

"Good thinking," said WordGirl. "If I remember correctly, museums have their garbage days once a week, on Wednesdays, so we might still be able to find it."

"But WordGirl," said Violet with concern, "today is Wednesday!"

WordGirl's eyes widened. "Then we'd better hurry!" she exclaimed. "You and Scoops stay here and keep looking through the footage. I'll go to the museum, and Kid Math and Huggy can come with me in case I need backup." WordGirl looked at all of her friends. "Does that sound like a plan?"

After a moment or so of muttering among themselves, the kids (and Huggy) nodded in approval of WordGirl's plan.

"Right, let's go!" WordGirl exclaimed, picking up Captain Huggyface and flying out of the roof of her spaceship with a heroic "Word up!", Kid Math trailing behind. Kid Math mentally noted that he should really work on a catchphrase.

The young heroes (and Huggy) flew through the skies over their beloved Fair City, headed straight for the museum where the robbery took place. As they got closer, the audio clutter decreased, and both super powered kids were able to pick up museum noises better: guests milling about inside, cars driving on the streets nearby, birds playing in the birdbath...

...and a garbage truck sitting right outside the museum, preparing to dump this week's garbage haul into the back.

WordGirl, Kid Math, and Captain Huggyface all looked at each other in realization.

"We've got to hurry!" WordGirl exclaimed, zipping downward and landing right in front of the garbage truck, Kid Math close behind. All three of our plucky heroes frantically waved their arms to get the truck driver's attention.

"Hey! Wait!" WordGirl exclaimed.

"This is probably not going to make any sense, but we've got reason to believe you're about to dump evidence!" Kid Math continued.

Much to both heroes' relief, the garbage truck stopped rumbling, and the driver inside poked her head out the window.

"WordGirl! Fuzzyface!" the garbagelady exclaimed happily, before looking to Kid Math. "And...?"

"This is Kid Math," WordGirl explained. "He's new around here. He helps me out sometimes." Kid Math smiled and waved. Then, an annoyed chitter on WordGirl's shoulder got her attention.

"And my sidekick's name is Captain Huggyface," WordGirl said politely, much to Huggy's appreciation.

"Oh. Sorry about that," the garbagelady said. "Anyway, what was that about me dumping something? I couldn't hear you two over the noise."

"Well, it's kind of a long story, but WordGirl and I have reason to believe that you were about to dump some evidence into the back of your truck!" Kid Math exclaimed.

"Evidence?" asked the garbagelady. "I don't get it. Is that a kind of garbage?"

WordGirl jumped in with her specialty. "Quite the opposite, actually!" she exclaimed with enthusiasm. "Evidence is something that supports a claim you have, or acts as a sort of clue to help solve a mystery. The evidence in this situation is a piece of paper that a thief dropped while fleeing a crime scene. We think it has information on it that could help us catch the thief and her partner in crime."

The garbagelady nodded in understanding, and grinned giddily. "I can't believe WordGirl just defined a word for me! In person!" she said, making WordGirl smile and pretend to wave off the compliment.

"Well, I'm glad you guys caught me before I got rid of your evidence," the garbagelady said. "I, uh... I can only hope you have an easy time finding it back there."

With the garbagelady's permission to search for the paper, our three brave heroes floated over to the back of the truck. WordGirl and Kid Math both grimaced at the smell- but, luckily for them, they didn't need to breathe too much, and were able to hold their breaths. Poor Huggy was not so fortunate, and had to hide his nose in WordGirl's cape.

Luckily for Huggy and his nose, by the power of plot convenience, the piece of paper the heroes were looking for was pretty easy to find. After Kid Math triumphantly held up the list, the heroes thanked the garbagelady, stopped to get their gloves washed, and flew back to the spaceship.

"We got it!" WordGirl exclaimed. Violet was doodling on a piece of paper with colored pencils, and Scoops had fallen asleep in the computer chair with his hat over his eyes. Violet looked up to greet her returning friends.

"That's great, guys," she said softly with a smile, gently poking Scoops in the shoulder until he woke up. "Scoops, they're back with the list!"

That sure got Scoops' attention. Scoops sat up and hastily straightened his hat.

"The- the list?" Scoops mumbled sleepily, with a yawn. He stood up out of the chair and stretched, before he and Violet gathered around WordGirl to look at what was on the list. Quickly, they became puzzled.

"This isn't a list of locations, said Violet.

"It looks more like a list of... names?" Kid Math suggested.

"And little pictures!" Scoops exclaimed. WordGirl gasped in realization.

"Of course!" she exclaimed. "The badge icons! This is a list of everyone's badge icons!"

Scoops and Violet looked at each other.

"When we were watching the security footage, Lady Redundant Woman, her clones, and Miss Question were all wearing badges!" Scoops exclaimed. He ran back to the computer, and tuned the security footage to a frame where both villains' badges were clearly visible.

WordGirl handed the list to Violet, who walked over to the computer with Scoops. Kid Math, WordGirl, and Huggy followed behind. Violet held the list up to the screen.

"If we compare the pictures on the list to the pictures on the badges, maybe we can figure out what they mean," Violet suggested.

WordGirl thought for a moment. "I already have a theory on what they mean," she said, "but it may sound a little bit crazy."

"No theory is too crazy, so long as it's got solid evidence!" Scoops exclaimed, turning around in the chair to look at WordGirl. "What is it?"

"Well... a while back, Dr. Two-Brains made a new rat, and it has the ability to.. um... swap people's minds," said WordGirl, bracing herself for the incoming shocked comments.

Violet, Scoops, and Kid Math all looked at WordGirl in disbelief.

"How do you know?" asked Violet in astonishment.

"Well... he accidentally switched minds with me," answered WordGirl. "So I was in his body with the mouse brain, and he was in my body with my superpowers."

Violet, Scoops, and Kid Math collectively shuddered at the idea of Dr. Two-Brains with WordGirl's powers.

"It's okay, though, it got worked out," said WordGirl. "My current running theory is that the villains are doing that on purpose, with each other, and they're using the badges and their icons as a sort of secret code, to keep track of who's who."

The other kids' eyes lit up with understanding.

"So with this list, we can get in on their secret code!" Kid Math exclaimed.

"Exactly!" WordGirl agreed. Violet looked to the computer screen again, comparing it with the list.

"It looks like Lady Redundant Woman's badge has Miss Question's icon, and Miss Question's badge has Lady Redundant Woman's icon," said Violet. "So, if your theory is true, that means they've swapped bodies!"

WordGirl nodded in agreement. "Good eye," she said. Then, she looked at Scoops. "Scoops, do you have any spare paper left after your note-taking?" 

Scoops held up his notepad. "Always," he answered.

"Good," said WordGirl. "Violet, I need you to copy down the icons and which villains they belong to, so we have a backup list in case we lose this one. Huggy and I will write down which villains we think have already swapped minds, so we have a better idea of who's in who's body. Does that sound like a plan?"

All of the kids liked the sound of that idea, and they were soon all busy working, splayed out on the floor. The process went smoothly... except for one question Violet had at the end.

"Um... WordGirl?" Violet asked, sitting next to her superhero friend.

"What is it?" asked WordGirl.

"It's just that, on the list, Dr. Two-Brains is listed twice," said Violet. She handed WordGirl the list, and our young heroine inspected it. Sure enough, at the top of the list, Dr. Two-Brains' mouse insignia was listed twice. The first was labeled "Dr. Two-Brains - I" and had a single tally mark on its forehead. The second was labeled "Dr. Two-Brains - II" and had two tally marks on its forehead.

"Oh, I'm sure that's just one icon for each of his brains," WordGirl answered. "See, if his brains are ever in separate bodies, they would still need to-"

Suddenly, WordGirl had an abrupt realization, and froze under the weight of it. Dr. Two-Brains' brains were currently in separate bodies, which meant that since Squeaky had Chuck...

Steven was running free.

WordGirl mentally kicked herself. It was so obvious! How hadn't she seen it before? She must have been so caught up in the rest of the chaos that it had slipped her mind.

"WordGirl?" asked Violet in a worried voice.

"Sorry. I just realized something," WordGirl said, standing up with a stunned and vacant expression. Steven was free was all she could think about. He had been free the last time the Mind-Exchange Ray had been used, but that was different. That time, WordGirl was trapped under Squeaky's smothering influence. This time, since they were both free from Squeaky...

...WordGirl could go talk to him.

"It's important. Really important. I... I think I should go, actually," WordGirl said, turning away to leave, but Violet put a hand on her friend's arm.

"What is it?" Violet asked in a concerned tone. When WordGirl didn't answer, Violet's tone shifted to one of suspicion and hurt. "Don't lie to me, Becky," she said.

"It's- it's not a bad realization. It's a good one, actually," said WordGirl nervously, even though that didn't really answer Violet's question. WordGirl hoped that she wouldn't have to spill more. It wasn't her secret to share, after all. If none of the authorities had made any effort to help Dr. Two-Brains with the mouse brain situation, then that meant that they most likely had no idea who Professor Boxleitner was or what happened to him. If word got out, then poor Steven's life of doing good and helping people would all have been in vain- overshadowed by the grim accident that corrupted him into the city's most dangerous maniac.

Then again, if she told someone, they might be able to help. But, given that only Professor Tubing has offered to help so far, WordGirl didn't want to run the risk of shifting all of the blame for Dr. Two-Brains' crimes onto Steven and retroactively ruin his whole life more than it had already been ruined. Furthermore, if he ever did get rid of Squeaky, he would be able to live as a normal citizen again, leaving Dr. Two-Brains completely behind- which he wouldn't be able to do if everybody knew that they were actually the same person.

Unfortunately for our poor heroine, all Violet saw was sneaky old Becky keeping yet another secret.

"If it's a good realization, why can't you tell me?" asked Violet in a mildly wounded voice that only made WordGirl feel worse.

"Well- see," WordGirl stammered. "It's kind of... difficult. Difficult to explain, and if I explain it wrong, you might not understand. So I need some time to figure out how to explain it correctly. So you understand." WordGirl nervously folded her hands together, looking at Violet's neutral expression with worry.

"Oh... okay," said Violet, disappointed but not seeming too upset. "I guess that makes sense. I wouldn't want to misunderstand something important."

WordGirl nodded vigorously, very relieved that Violet wasn't ready to try to end their friendship all over again.

"Now... I've got somebody I need to find," said WordGirl. She looked around for Captain Huggyface, only to find him fast asleep on the floor next to the chart of which villain was in which body.

"Kid Math can take him home," WordGirl thought, and without further delay, she flew out of the spaceship with a heroic, "Word up!" to begin the search for her long lost friend.

Chapter Text

In the city, a large, intimidating man wearing a metal helmet with strange, red, vein-like markings was walking through town with a purple, flowery duffel bag containing the Mind Exchange Ray. Despite the fact that the Whammer was usually the big guy with the helmet, this was not the Whammer. This man was Professor Boxleitner, who had swapped bodies with Chuck and was now busy enacting that special plan of his. He was wearing the helmet for several important reasons, but the only reason that's important right now was that he had to hide his- or rather, Chuck's- face. Chuck was a wanted criminal, and being arrested right now would throw the mother of all wrenches into poor Steven's very important plan.

Despite the fact that being arrested right now would be a disaster for him, Steven was actually on the hunt for another wanted criminal: Lady Redundant Woman- well, not her necessarily. Just her body. Steven had been keeping up with the news (something he didn't normally do, for the sake of his remaining sanity), and he hadn't heard a peep about her and Miss Question being caught. That meant that, if he was fast enough, he could swap minds with whoever was in Lady Redundant Woman's body before they went to jail, which was a crucial step in his crucial plan.

Meanwhile, Chuck had been having a stressful night at Dr. Two-Brains' warehouse. He hardly slept at all, and whenever he did manage to sleep, he was haunted by bizarre nightmares. It was much like his nap on day 2 all the way back in chapter 5, where the perspective was very unclear. However, the contents of this dream were much worse.

Much like the sandwich dream, he was having a dream about two things: a mouse, and an owl. Much like the sandwich dream, he kept changing from the perspective of the mouse to the owl. However, very much unlike the sandwich dream, there were aspects of it that were not clearly Chuck or Squeaky's doing: for instance, the fact that a significant portion of the owl-chasing-mouse sequence happened in a laboratory, but the laboratory didn't seem absurdly huge like it would to a mouse or owl: it just seemed like a regular-sized room. In the end, that giant purple octopus came back and started opening a can of canned ham sandwiches with a can opener, but the can opener made a strange ringing sound.

Chuck blearily opened his eyes and looked around Dr. Two-Brains' dreary room for the source of the noise, and quickly found it in the form of an alarm clock that looked like a block of cheese. Chuck grouchily turned the alarm clock off, and in doing so, took notice of a framed picture sitting in front of it. Chuck hadn't noticed the picture last night, because he was tired and miserable and flopped into bed without even bothering to change into pajamas. Now, though, he picked up the picture and looked at it. The picture was of some guy he'd never met standing next to some lady he'd never met, and while Chuck didn't recognize either of these people, Squeaky certainly did, and he passed that recognition on to Chuck. Those two people were the Old Human guy Squeaky kept mentioning, and a relative of his.

"Aww," thought Chuck, looking at those two smiling faces. "They look so happy."

"Ha! What happened?" Squeaky thought, and his next thought was some emotion that loosely translated to a joking, "Am I right?" Chuck initially did not get the joke, but that was okay, because Squeaky got it for him: apparently, this Old Human fellow was angry and miserable all the time, a far cry from the mellow and overall happy man he seemed to be in the picture.

"That's sad," Chuck thought. "Poor guy."

Chuck put the picture back and slid off the bed and onto the floor, giving himself a big yawn and a big stretch. He rubbed his eyes and stood up, before his eye caught something on Dr. Two-Brains' bed.

It was the crisper drawer from his mother's fridge.

That sight, the sight of something so familiar (yet unfamiliar, thanks to Squeaky's unfamiliarity with it) in a place so unfamiliar (yet familiar, thanks to Squeaky's familiarity with it) was monstrously jarring and upsetting. Moreso than that, however, were the memories of last night flooding back into Chuck's mind.

Chuck had robbed his own mother.

His mother. The woman who had raised him, and cared for him, and made him so many delicious sandwiches over the years. The loving, warm, immovable presence always there for him when he was a shy, nervous, vulnerable child, and continued to be there as he grew into a shy, nervous, vulnerable adult.

Yet, at the same time, it didn't quite feel like he'd robbed his mother. It also felt like he had robbed a strange, irritating woman whom he had only met once or twice. A woman who was, for whatever reason, dead set on smothering his fun.

As this different view on his mother grew and festered, choking out the old one like parasitic vines, a smoldering fury began to burn in Chuck's heart. Memories that weren't Chuck's began to shape opinions that he had held for his entire life. A dull headache began throbbing on the side of his head.

"Yeah. That lady. I remember her. Mrs. 'Oh, don't make a mess, keep your feet off the table,' even though the place is already a hideous, rotting-"

Chuck managed to snap out of it, standing stunned for a moment. What was that? Chuck had been told to keep his feet off the table once or twice, but that was an awfully long time ago. Back when he was a young child who didn't know any better. But even then, that feeling behind those thoughts didn't feel like Chuck being a young child getting scolded by his mother and hating his own home for it. It felt more like being an angry, hateful adult, getting upset because your friend's mother wasn't letting him do whatever he wanted, because he didn't really think putting your feet on the table was a big deal.

As Chuck pondered this strange... thought intrusion, Squeaky piped up again. Chuck's headache got worse.

"New Human is ridiculous!" Squeaky shrieked with fury in Chuck's mind. "He never, never gets to ENJOY himself! He's always worried, about 'Oh no, mean lady got hurt!' So what if mean lady got hurt?! There are PLENTY OF MEAN LADIES-"

As Squeaky continued ranting and raving, Chuck squeezed his eyes shut and grabbed his head, his knees bending, his torso weakening and leaning forward. Squeaky's fury, while it did cause a stinging, watery, about-to-cry feeling in Chuck's throat and behind his eyes... it made him angry as well.

As Squeaky's thoughts and emotions seeped into Chuck's, the hateful and rotten view of his mother once again began to smother the kind and loving one.

"Rotten old hag," Chuck thought viciously, even though his mother was only in her late forties. Then, something odd happened: Squeaky's influence began using Chuck's own memories to fuel the fire. Chuck, of course, didn't realize this, and merely saw it as pieces falling into place of how his mother was not all she was cracked up to be.

"Keeps me in a basement," Chuck thought bitterly, even though he didn't mind the basement before. "Makes me run her errands. Interrupts my evil scheming. Humph! I don't know how I didn't see it before."

As Chuck thought more and more, he and Squeaky grew angrier and angrier together.

"New Human should get his revenge on her," Squeaky whispered ominously.

Chuck, at first, wholeheartedly agreed with Squeaky's suggestion. After all, why shouldn't Chuck get a little revenge?

But then, as Chuck thought about going back to his mother's house and making her upset all over again, he realized he couldn't do it. He began breaking out of his weird, hateful trance, and quickly became horrified at himself.

"I know what you're doing, Squeaky!" Chuck thought angrily. "You're trying to turn me against my mother so I have to depend on you!"

Squeaky got angry again, too.

"Stupid human!" he shrieked, making Chuck flinch. "Squeaky just wants to help him! Squeaky only ever wants to help him!"

"I think you should help someone else, Squeaky!" Chuck retorted. "Your help sure isn't helping me any!"

Squeaky certainly didn't like that response.

"FINE!" Squeaky shouted, making Chuck flinch. "We will go search for Old Human! After seeing the train wreck NEW HUMAN is, Old Human doesn't seem half bad!"

Chuck grimaced- both from the headache and from the anger seeping into his mind from Squeaky's.

"Where do you think he'd be?" asked Chuck, gripping his head and stumbling out of Dr. Two-Brains' makeshift bedroom and into the main area of the warehouse.

"Probably somewhere annoying and stupid, like a sandwich shop!" Squeaky hissed, clearly still furious about being insulted. "Or a library! Squeaky hates those. Too many humans. Makes Squeaky nervous. And not enough cheese!"

Chuck, recalling his previous (and clearly very wise) decision that talking to Squeaky never helped anyone, kept quiet and walked over to the front (or back, or side- it was difficult to tell that this door was originally used for, but Dr. Two-Brains used it as a front door) door of the warehouse. He decided to press the button to open it, to shake things up after having used a lever all the way back in chapter 5. Chuck grimaced and cringed at the grating of the garage-like door sliding open, and ducked under it to leave before it was all the way up.

Chuck looked around a bit. It was pretty much what he expected of an old, condemned warehouse that had probably been abandoned for thirty years before the doctor moved into it. It was kind of dirty, there was graffiti on it- a big chunk of graffiti even looked like it had been removed and then put back.

There were a couple of rusty, old, long-disused dumpsters nearby. When Chuck saw them, Squeaky recognized them as not abandoned, but in fact the location of a small obstacle course for mice. When he listened closely, sure enough, he heard the sounds of little mice playing and squeaking happily inside one of the dumpsters.

What Chuck also heard, however, was the sound of an approaching van. His heart jumped in his chest, and he turned towards the noise. He saw Dr. Two-Brains' van, being driven by the talking henchman, and being ridden in by the Butcher and Charlie. Luckily for Chuck, they all saw him, and simply parked nearby instead of accidentally running him over.

When the three men got out of the van, Chuck got a better look at their badges: it seemed that the henchman who's name managed to escape him was still in his own body, but the Butcher and Charlie had switched bodies. Chuck found that awfully strange, considering how the Butcher was one of the villains more vocally opposed to the contest happening at all.

Knowing that the Butcher and Charlie had switched bodies didn't make it any less jarring when the Butcher's voice started coming out of Charlie's mouth.

"Hey, uh... Chuck?" asked the Butcher. "You okay?"

Something about the Butcher's sympathetic tone really pissed off Chuck (or, potentially, Squeaky- it was getting hard to tell). It made it sound like the Butcher thought that Chuck was some helpless little kid.

"Yeah?" Chuck exclaimed irritably. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

The Butcher put his hands up in a woah, easy gesture. His and the henchmen's eyes drifted up to the top and side of Chuck's head. Something funny must be happening with the mouse brain.

"Hey, Chuck," said the speaking henchman cautiously. He pointed at the mouse brain. "Is Squeaky bugging you?"

Almost immediately, Chuck felt his blood light on fire in fury.

"So casually mentioning Squeaky in front of the Butcher! Even worse, making Squeaky sound awful! It's bad enough that Chuck knows-

Wait a minute. I'm Chuck.

Aren't I?"

That unnerving realization helped take Chuck out of his anger. Then, intense feelings of guilt began to weigh in his chest, guilt over getting so mad. He wasn't one of those guys that got that mad! Especially not at one of his friends!

"Chuck?" asked the henchman again, in a softer and more worried voice. The Butcher and Charlie seemed worried as well, but the Butcher's expression had confusion mixed in.

"Who's Squeaky?" asked the Butcher, which just started to make Chuck mad again.

"It's not important!" exclaimed the speaking henchman quickly, rushing over to Chuck. "Come on in, I- I'll.. get you something."

Chuck was initially offended at the two henchmen leading him and a very confused Butcher inside- but that offense faded away as Squeaky realized that the henchmen would most likely try to placate him with cheese.

The henchmen led Chuck to the couch, instructing him to sit down. Chuck complied- but only in anticipation of cheese.

Once Chuck had sat down, the henchmen led the Butcher over to the cheese vault.

"Uh... I have a feeling that Squeaky actually is important," said the Butcher once the three were out of Chuck's earshot.

"Oh, he's just the mouse brain," answered the speaking henchman. "He's really mean on his own, but he's not so bad when he's with the Boss. He just gets cranky sometimes."

The Butcher scratched his head. "Huh," he said. "I never knew that."

"He doesn't talk about it," answered the talking henchman. The Butcher peeked out of the cheese vault and looked over at Chuck, sitting on the couch. It was difficult to tell how Chuck was feeling, considering he didn't have his own face at the moment, but he seemed... still. Kinda like a grouchy old man trying not to cry. He didn't seem like a happy Chuck at all.

"I'm... not sure Chuck is too happy with this Squeaky character," said the Butcher. He looked back at the henchmen. "I mean, he's acting like... Dr. Two-Brains. Which is normal for Dr. Two-Brains, I guess, but..." 

The Butcher peeked at Chuck again. "It's not normal for Chuck."

The two henchmen pondered for a moment.

"You know him better than we do," said the speaking henchman. "So you would know stuff like that." The speaking henchman peeked out to look at Chuck as well. Chuck seemed to be getting impatient for his cheese.

"But.. what should we do about it?" asked the speaking henchman.

The Butcher pondered for a moment. "We should offer to switch him with somebody else. I mean.. if it gets that bad," said the Butcher. "But Chuck... he really is acting funny."

The henchmen both nodded in agreement.

"We'll talk to him about it," said the speaking henchman, walking back over to Chuck with a couple of cheese blocks in his arms.

The speaking henchman handed Chuck his cheese, which he promptly ate hungrily.

"So, Chuck," said the speaking henchman. Getting called "Chuck" all the time was starting to irritate Squeaky.

"Yeah?" asked Chuck, narrowing his eyes in Squeaky's annoyance.

"You're, uh... acting kinda funny," the speaking henchman noticed, "so the Butcher thought that maybe you'd like to switch bodies with somebody else. Y'know, to... get a change of pace."

Chuck was elated at this offer, but Squeaky was furious at the idea of having to put up with a third human. Chuck let out a conflicted hiss and grabbed his head. The Butcher, Charlie, and the speaking henchman all grimaced.

"I-" Chuck stuttered, swallowing hard. "That- that might- not be so bad. But- but! I have to switch with the guy who took my body. The original Dr. Two-Brains. I gotta switch with him." Squeaky once again hissed that there was no original.

The henchmen and the Butcher all looked at each other in concern. That was a bit of a strange and specific request.

"I'll see what I can do," said the Butcher. "Uh... if not, is there a second choice of who you'd want to switch with?"

Chuck and Squeaky thought for a moment.

"Squeaky does not want to put up with New Human any longer! But he also does not want to have to meet a third human!" Squeaky thought.

"Maybe your next human could be someone who's already kind of what you're looking for," Chuck suggested. "Somebody you'd work well together with."

"Yes..." Squeaky thought. "A human that's mean! Vicious! Ambitious and brutal! A human that's nothing like New Human."

"Somebody... mean. Somebody who gets things done," Chuck answered.

The Butcher nodded, looking at the two henchmen.

"We can stay here with him," offered the speaking henchman. "We don't get to talk to Chuck too much, it would be nice to catch up with him." Charlie nodded in agreement.

The Butcher nodded back at the henchmen. "I'll go get the ray, and Dr. Two-Brains. Or somebody else."

With that, the Butcher backed away from the group and walked out of the warehouse to go find what he was looking for, leaving Chuck and the henchmen to awkwardly make attempts at conversation.