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i turned my teacher into a spoon

Summary:

there is a girl who lives in that haunted mansion next door. her name is ashley and she really, truly wishes you didn't know her name.

inspired by "The Girl Next Door" by Void on Youtube

Chapter 1: i turned my teacher into a spoon

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A metallic clank touched the floor, where once stood a person with their entire life ahead of them. 

 

Ashley didn't do that. She… she couldn't have done that. Not her, not normal girl Ashley. She doesn't do magic. She doesn't turn people into things. 

 

Her parents would find out about this. They'll say she did it to spite them, that she's a monster, that she should just be normal. Like all of her classmates. Like her teacher used to be.

 

…They're not wrong. 

 

Ashley the Disgusting Witch will go home, Ashley the Disgusting Witch will tell her parents what she's done, 

Ashley the Disgusting Witch will take the beating that follows

 

Ashley the Disgusting Witch will take the punishment she deserves for being herself.

Chapter 2: my existence is my biggest failure

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Ashley sat bruised, bloody and beaten, as she had expected. This was her punishment, she would take it without complaint. It's what she deserves.

 

But she couldn't take this. She sat down in front of the door, so uselessly trying to force it open, to force her parents to let her back in.

 

But no matter what she did, it wouldn't open. She brought her hands to the concrete pathway beneath her, tears flowing down her face and onto her clothes. 

 

This was what she deserved. She's disgusting. She's going to starve out on the streets like she's supposed to. 

 

Tears overflowing, Ashley limped away from the door and waited out her death on the streets.

Chapter 3: living it is my punishment

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There was a pit in Ashley’s stomach, like her stomach groaned and begged for sustenance, sustenance that would never come, No one paid Ashley any mind. She was shocked, but it was for the best. Her punishment was to starve here, and she made sure she would serve it out as painfully as possible. 

 

Ashley could barely walk now, she could barely keep her eyes open. Her legs hurt, they felt like they were going to break in two at any moment. She sat down on the sidewalk, hands placed on her aching stomach. She felt like she was going to vomit, but nothing would come out. She’s going to die here. 

 

She doesn’t want to die, but it’s what she deserves, isn’t it? Her parents probably knew this would happen when they kicked her out. It’s only right she lives out her final moments like this, sad, alone, crying out what little tears her body could produce.

 

She stepped out onto the street, her legs collapsing under a mountain of exhaustion, Ashley felt herself losing consciousness, confident this would be the last time she would be alive. Ashley the Disgusting Witch would die as she was supposed to.

 

Then she felt something, barely conscious, barely able to discern what was holding onto her. It was small, needing to drag her somewhere. That repeated for a long time. Eventually, she stopped feeling the concrete, then the dirt, then clean, splinter free wood. 

 

Whatever dragged her here brought her somewhere nice. Somewhere Ashley the Disgusting Witch would live on. 

 

Ashley would be crying if she could.

Chapter 4: who's the girl next door living in the haunted mansion

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

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Ashley's eyes opened, she could barely stay conscious, but whoever had dragged her here had been feeding her, if the crumbs and splashes of juice on her face were any indication. She didn't know how to feel.

 

She should be dead, she deserves to be dead. But…

 

She doesn't want to die. How selfish is she? 

 

“Ah! You're awake! Finally… I can stop feeding you myself!”

 

Ashley stared at where the voice came from, a small, red imp. Did they drag her here? She turned her eyes briefly to her own clothes. They were covered in dirt, mud and stray bits of wood. It was difficult to see, but there was also some slightly dried blood on her arm - was she cut there while being dragged here?

 

She looked at the red imp.

 

“...Why… did you…” her voice was weak, she could barely get the words out between her weak body and tears her body refused to create. 

 

“I… I couldn't just leave someone on the street like that! No one was paying attention to you at all and I…” the imp said, briefly stopping himself. “...I get that.”

 

Ashley wanted to respond, but no words came out. She just picked up the plastic fork placed in front of her, slowly eating the food that had been made for her.

 

It really tasted quite good. Whoever this imp was, he knew what he was doing. She grabbed the cup that held, apparently, tap water. In an instant, the cup was emptied, something the imp took notice of. “You were thirsty, huh? I'll go get more! You need plenty of water!”

 

The imp left, leaving Ashley to look at the meal that had been prepared. It was bigger than she was used to at her parents house. A decently big loaf of bread, a slightly overcooked looking steak, an empty glass of what looks like used to be orange juice. 

 

Ashley stared at the imp as they came back with another cup of tap water. “Here you go! Drink up!” Ashley, with little hesitation, gulps down the water, wiping her mouth of whatever water flowed down her chin. “So… what's your name?” The imp asks her.

 

Ashley takes a second to respond, a few tears fall down her face, “...It's Ashley.” she says.

 

“...I'm Red. It's very nice to meet you Ashley.” 

 

Ashley wiped her tears. Perhaps… Ashley the Disgusting Witch could continue on, for now.

Notes:

i had to call in sick today. on one hand this meant i had more time for writing, on the other. ouch.

Chapter 5: you sadly know her name

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Ashley the Disgusting Witch has been living with Red for a month now. Not a day goes by without the same, ever depressing thought: she shouldn’t be here. She should be a corpse rotting on the street, only disposed of because her body inconvenienced others. She hasn’t told Red about it, nor does she ever want to. He’s nice, the first person she's really felt a connection to… 

But he wouldn’t understand, he couldn’t even begin to. Even if he could, this punishment that is being alive is hers to bear alone. Telling Red about it would lead to comfort, maybe even an end if she’s lucky. But she doesn’t want to feel better. 

She’ll die one of these days. Maybe not by her own hand, but something lethal will come her way and… she honestly might just let it. 

Red is eccentric, it’s honestly rather annoying… but somehow Ashley doesn’t mind. Ashley thinks she’d be more upset if he stopped being like that. Has she been mean to him? A little, but somehow that only caused him to be nicer to her. She doesn’t really understand at all.

The mansion is filled with equipment designed specifically for magic. Ashley couldn’t believe it, it was like whatever god rules over this world wanted to torment her. A constant reminder of what she did, what she can never do again. How utterly repulsive and unlovable she is. Red told her it was already here when he first came here a year back, he’s apparently done some light potion brewing with it… but nothing too complex or impressive. 

Ashley would love to make potions. The act calls to her. How completely disgusting. Can Red tell? Can Red tell how awful she is?

That thought keeps her up at night. If he can’t, then she’s even worse than she thought she was. She’s manipulative. If he can…

Then that creates questions, questions she doesn’t have answers to. Why is he helping her? Why has he been cooking for her?  Why is he so damn nice to her? That too, keeps her up at night. 

Ashley lays down on her bed. Staring up at the ceiling, this mansion feels like it's blanketed in eternal night. She hasn’t seen the sun since she was starving on the streets. Red has repeatedly offered to let Ashley go with him when he goes shopping for ingredients. She refuses every time.

She’s not ready to see the sun again.

She doesn’t know if she’ll ever be ready.

Chapter 6: it's ashley

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Ashley woke up, not opening her eyes yet. Maybe if she kept them closed, she could sleep longer. She tries this every single day, even though it never works. Usually what happens is she gets sick of her own breath, finally getting up to eat whatever breakfast Red made for her. Silently dreading how well made it is, how much she doesn’t deserve this joy.

 

That is not what happened today.

 

“Ashley! Ashley!” Red barged in, causing Ashley to suddenly open her eyes and sit up, her messy hair being extremely visible. 

 

“Wh… What?” she stutters out, only slightly conscious of the imp in front of her. “We have a job!”

 

Ashley blinks. “...You were looking for jobs?” 

 

Red stops himself. “You… you don't remember? I told you that, like, the day after you got here…”

 

…Ah. 

 

“...I guess I just forgot.” Ashley says while rubbing her eyes. Red's smile drops for a brief second, before returning just as fast. 

 

“It doesn't matter! You should go get ready, I'll need your help with this!” 

 

…Huh. 

 

Ashley didn't bother doing anything other than get dressed. Red usually insists she should at least comb her hair, but she doesn't really see the point. It's just going to get messy again when she goes to bed. 

 

Going downstairs, eating her breakfast, hearing whatever job Red had landed, She replied…

 

“So we just… we make video games?” Ashley was… confused. She couldn't even imagine how she'd be able to help with this.

 

“Not video games! Microgames! They're like video games but… but micro!” Red said, trying so hard to convince Ashley that this was a cool thing she'd have fun doing.

 

“...I don't get it.” Ashley said, her voice and face portraying intense… unamusement. “Well… if you help me, I'll give you… more food than usual?”

 

Ashley thought about it for a moment.

 

“...Yeah.” she said, looking down shamefully. Red took notice. “You okay?” he said, tilting his head as he checked for any reaction, at least, what he could parse from what little of her face he could see.

 

“I'm fine.” Ashley said. It was a lie, but her tone of voice made it difficult to tell. That was maybe the one thing she liked about herself. “Okay! Just checking!” Red said, before Ashley followed up with: “But… how exactly do I… help you with that?”

 

“Just… follow me! I'll show you!”

 

Ashley followed Red. She followed Red upstairs.

 

She followed Red into The Room.

 

“While normally, games are created through coding and technical expertise, recently… alternative methods have been created! Notably, through the use of m-”

 

Ashley slammed the door as she realized what he was about to say.

 

Ashley hadn't gone into this room since she first got here, she didn't deserve to see it, she didn't deserve to do magic again.

 

She couldn't let herself do this, no matter how much she wanted to, no matter how much she knew she'd enjoy it.

 

Ashley loves magic, she loves magic more than anything in the world, that's exactly why she can't do it. 

 

The world doesn't need more spoons.

 

“Ashley! Open the door!”

 

She looked at her hands. She hadn't even realized she was blocking the door. Slowly, she moved away from it. Red turned the knob to see…

 

Fear. Pure, unrestrained fear. Ashley was terrified. She couldn't move. She couldn't think. She could only stare, at Red. 

 

“...Do you need a moment?” Red said, his expression showing sadness. Ashley looks up at him… and nods. 

 

She runs to her room without a word, immediately climbing in bed, to hide from the world. 

 

She shakes and shakes and shakes, the fear encompasses her spine, her very soul, her dreams. 

 

There is a girl next door living in that haunted mansion up the hill, a witch who can't do magic, a Disgusting Witch would be better off dead and gone. At least her corpse will be food for the birds, compost for the plants.

 

That witch is named Ashley. 

 

And that pit in the sky, that everlasting darkness that enveloped her like a cloud…

 

Was about to part.

Chapter 7: she knows the darkest spells

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Ashley laid in her bed, eyes staring unblinkingly at the ceiling. Her eyes watered, Ashley was unable to move from where she was. She was hungry. She hadn't eaten since this morning. Her stomach begged her to be filled, for sustenance. “...How familiar.” She said to herself. Ashley blinks, her eyes hurt. Placing her hand over her face, she pulls her hair back. She stares at the ceiling for a moment, before sitting up and leaving bed. She creaks the door open, eyes briefly scanning for Red, before opening the door and silently making her way downstairs. 

 

As expected, Red had left food for her down there. It is cold now, but she has no room to complain. It still tastes good, anyhow. As she ate, her mind drifted to that room. …She really is pathetic, isn't she? She can't even enter without panicking. A witch so scared of magic… Ashley sighed and looked down at her now empty plate. She's been quite useless, hasn't she? This is… Ashley sits up, forgetting to clean up her plate, her mind is set on making this right. 

 

She walks upstairs, standing in front of The Room. She breathes, in and out. Placing her hand on the knob… She swings the door open, it loudly bangs against the wall of The Room. Her heart is beating in her ears. The Room is dark, so dark. Her body doesn’t want her to go inside, it stops her movements. Ashley stares down at her feet. “...Stop being a baby, Ashley, you’re eleven, not five.” She takes a step, into the darkness, into The Room. The darkness surrounds her. She’s scared, but she must remain there. She must help Red. She reached out, looking for anything to grab. She touched something that felt… familiar somehow. Like it was meant for her hands to hold. It was wooden, small and…

 

She knows what it is. It’s a wand. As if to answer, her body tightens its grip… and the wand lightens up the room. There’s small, bright lights everywhere, almost like fireflies. She looks around, did she do that? Just from touching her wand? The lights… are beautiful, blindingly beautiful. It terrifies her. She can do this without even thinking about it. She can do awful things with this wand, she shouldn’t have this power. But without it… What is she? She’s nothing. She’s a rotten, disgusting witch. That is her identity. It will be her identity until she perishes in flames, whether by her own doing or another’s.  The world doesn’t need more spoons, but Ashley the Disgusting Witch must exist in spite of that. Ashley walks towards the shelf, she notices a book. 

 

“Magical Game-Making: A Comprehensive Guide.”

 

Ashley opens the book. Memories of her school library flood back to her. It hurts to think about, but she must continue. Ashley the Disgusting Witch will continue to exist, in spite of what she deserves.

Chapter 8: she brews the meanest potions

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Memories blurred and twirled together, there was blood, bruises and pain. There was screaming, Ashley couldn’t tell who was screaming, they all formed into a cacophony. It was like this whenever she closed her eyes, her dreams filled with endless screams and slaps. It was no longer startling, it was a fact of life.

 

In the same way she had come to dread her waking moments, she had begun to fear life. Her life had become an endless cycle of wishing she was asleep, wishing she was awake, asleep, awake, asleep…

 

“Ashley!” 

 

…Awake.

 

Ashley rubbed her eyes, she still felt tired. She wasn’t asleep for long, was she? Ashley sat up, looking at Red. He held something in his hand. It was… She braced for a sharp slap to the face. But it didn’t come. “Ashley! These are masterfully made. Did you… make these after I went to sleep?” 

 

Ashley took a second to respond. He was thanking her. Praising her. “I… uh… Yes.” The cartridge in Red’s hand was gently placed down, he looked at her face. She was tired, he could tell. 

 

“Do you need some sleep?” Red said, while tilting his head. Ashley looked up at him, tears welling up in her eyes, before nodding. Ashley got up, running to her room before he could get another word in. She got onto her bed, tears flowing and wetting her pillow as she planted her face onto it. 

 

This isn’t how things are supposed to be. She’s disgusting, a monster. She’s not… she’s not supposed to feel like this. She’s not supposed to like doing magic. She’s not supposed to be praised for it. She was supposed to wallow in suffering forever. She was supposed to dread her existence, a constant wish of death that would never come. It was supposed to be all she knew.

 

Her red, tear filled eyes stared at the ceiling, she swore she could see it move, but as she wiped her tears, it returned to normal. She stared at it for a moment, then her eyes shut. A return to that now comforting pain, that blood, those bruises, that suffering she had grown so used to.

Chapter 9: total drag

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A week has passed. Things… have gotten less awful for Ashley. Not good, mind you. She still wishes she wouldn’t be praised for her witchcraft. She’s had more failures in that regard than she has successes. The microgames clicked for her immediately… but pretty much everything else hasn’t gone so well. She swears she’s actually gotten worse overall, maybe that’s not so surprising given the amount of time she hadn’t dared touch the act…

 

…Either way, Red has done nothing but praise her, for succeeding, for trying. The context doesn’t matter to Ashley. The feeling of being praised… She hates it. She also craves it. She then hates herself for wanting it. The cycle hasn’t gone unnoticed. She’s not sure what she should do about it, if she should do anything at all. 

 

Ashley stares at the door leading outside. Red is about to go shopping for ingredients again and… She said yes to joining him this time. Maybe that was a mistake. She felt like it would end up being… but she realizes now there’s only one way to actually know. She’s been a stranger to the sunlight for so long she half expects to burst into flames the moment she touches it.

 

“Ashley! Are you ready?” Red said, what felt like out of nowhere. Ashley jumped a bit as she returned to reality. “Your hair still isn’t combed…” Red’s face dropped slightly, but he quickly perked back up. “But that’s fine! You don’t have to if you don’t want to!” Ashley stared at him for a brief second. “Okay…” she said to him. 

 

Red flew over to the mansion door, slowly opening it. The door opened to show that eternal night that blanketed the mansion. Ashley had asked Red about it before… but he just said that’s “Just how spooky mansions are.” That thought perplexed Ashley, but it was easier to accept it than it was to think about it. Maybe she’d get an actual answer one day, she didn’t really care.

 

As they traveled the mansion ground, it seemed like the sun had begun going up, but she knew that wasn’t what was happening, that fact slapped her in the face as the sun suddenly shined in full force. Ashley’s eyes burned for a moment, she covered them with her arm, expecting her body to follow suit. “Ashley! Calm down!” Red’s voice belted out. “Eh…?” Was she freaking out? She hadn’t noticed… 

 

Ashley lowered her arm, eyes slowly adjusting to the light. “Are you doing okay? You can go back inside if you want!” Red said, his voice low, calming. “No… I’m… fine. I’m fine.” Ashley said, her eyes watering as she blinked rapidly. “We can… we need to go get ingredients. I’ll be fine.” Ashley looked around, the street in front of the mansion could be seen in the distance. She looked at the ground, it was dirty, there was… a small streak of dried blood. She remembered the bloody cut she had when she first awoke in the mansion. Part of her…

 

She shouldn’t finish that thought. Not when she’s made so much progress. She walked forward, Red following behind her. 

 

Days would pass, she would slowly but surely get more and more used to being outside, going out for ingredients whenever needed. One day stood out. It started as normal, a failed experiment, not having the components to try again, as they walked out, as Ashley took in the sunlight on her skin, the uncomfortable heat of her clothes. Something peculiar happened, for the first time, she bumped into someone. They had a strange head shape, a startling white body. A sharp pain filled her head, a profound annoyance, bordering on anger, filled her mind. “Ouch…” the person said, it was only upon a closer look that she realized it wasn’t a human like she was used to seeing around here.

 

It was an alien.

Chapter 10: everyone hates me 'cause i've got a bewitching personality

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“Sorry, Ashley. I couldn’t keep up!” 

 

Ashley stared blankly at the alien that ran from the two of them, screaming all the way. She knew why, she knew it wasn’t screaming because of magic. The disgusting magic she could form, the idea that its life could be ended in a moment. She knew it was screaming because Red had been chasing after it. 

 

But it still… It still reminded her of that. A reminder that comes far too often. She’s really a horrible person, isn’t she? First her teacher, now she’s making innocent people flee from her…

 

“...That’s okay.” Ashley reached out her hand, which Red took readily. “Eh?” Red said as they began walking again. “I’ll just use you instead.” Red took a second to process what Ashley just said, before gasping. “...I’m joking.” Red immediately looked relieved. “Oh! That’s… very funny Ashley!”

 

…She really is the worst. She walks a moment, before quietly saying “Sorry.” Red looks up at her with a smile on his face, Ashley tries not to look at Red. “It’s fine! Nothing to worry about.” he says that, but Ashley knows that’s not true. It can’t be true. When was the last time she made a joke? When was the last time someone who wasn’t Red enjoyed her company?

 

It feels like years, maybe it has been. Ashley doesn’t keep track. She sighs as the two continue to the store. This comfort is not deserved, perhaps this sudden discomfort is the universe reminding her of that.

 

Ashley the Disgusting Witch, in some kind of paradox, was comforted by that thought.

Chapter 11: braids

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Life for Ashley right now was particularly dull. Nothing had happened the past week. Ashley wakes up, fails with her magical experiments for a handful of hours… and then goes back to sleep. That was fine, Ashley didn’t really deserve anything beyond that. She’s certainly not happy, but she also doesn’t really deserve to be. She was expecting something to happen soon, though. She knows she can’t go long without Red getting her to do something. 

The door to The Room burst open, Ashley looked up at the imp who had a big, bright smile on his face. Here it comes. “Ashley! Ashley!” the imp practically yelled. “...What is it?” Ashley responded with her usual, unamused tone.”We…” Red placed a piece of paper in her hand. It’s some kind of invitation from… “Have been invited to a party!” 

Ashley stared at Red for a moment. “...I’m not going.” Red’s face immediately drops. “...Why not?” he says. “I think you should go! You really need to talk to someone that isn’t me…” Ashley sighed. “I don’t want to.” Red pouted. “C’mon! Surely staying in this mansion with no one to talk to other than me is driving you insane!” Ashley sighed again. “That’s… none of your…”

Ashley looked up. And in what felt like seconds, she was at the party. Slow, yet funky music filled the room. Ashley… simply stood there. She didn’t care for music… just kind of in general. It was irritating to her ears, she at first tried to block it out… that ended quickly when she realized she’d have to hold her ears closed the entire time she was here. So she just stood in the corner, sipping on the fruit punch Red had brought her shortly after they got here. No one talked to her, and she was fine with that. She wondered if they could tell how disgusting she was, just from a glance…

“...Probably.” she muttered under her breath, it was so quiet. She expected no one to hear it. “Probably what?” a voice she hadn’t ever hear before suddenly said. Ashley jumped, as a girl with orange hair and big round glasses seemingly snuck up behind her.

“Oh, uh… Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” Ashley looked at her for a second, before closing her eyes and sighing. “...It’s fine.” The girl, who Ashley could gather from her outfit was a scientist said: “Anyway… what were you talking about?” Ashley looked annoyed, the scientist in turn frowned. “...Nothing.” 

The scientist looked puzzled for a moment, before smiling and saying “Well, if you don’t want to tell me, I won’t push it!” The scientist had an infectious energy, so irritating, so annoying, so wonderful. “I’m Penny, by the way!” 

Ashley took a moment to respond “I’m… Ashley.” Penny smiled once more. “Ashley is a nice name!” Penny pressed her back against the wall. “So… who brought you here? You don’t seem like the kind of person that would come here by yourself… My dad made me help with his microgames and…” Ashley didn’t hear her finish, she turned to Red who… seemed to be enjoying himself near the stage. “...The imp over there, I… helped him with the microgames too.” Penny looked over at him. “Huh… I was expecting one of the adults…”  Ashley quickly responded “Red is actually…” she stopped herself, she was only now realizing… How old WAS Red? She’d never actually thought about it… nor did she think to ask him. “Huh…” Penny looked… particularly confused. “...Is that something I shouldn’t bother you about?” Ashley looked back at Penny. “...I don’t actually know how old Red is, he’s… never told me.” Penny took a sip from her punch before saying “Huh, weird!” 

Ashley looked at the girl as the current situation dawned on her. She was talking to someone. She was talking to someone and enjoying their company. What an off feeling. She could feel butterflies in her stomach. A faint smile formed on her face, the conversation continued, while the rest of the partygoers involved themselves with each other, Ashley and Penny spent the night chatting with fervor. Ashley could feel her thoughts falter, she could be brought back to those times in the library, where her only friends were the magic books she would read so happily. For the first time since then, past all the beatings, abandonment and taste of blood in her mouth…

Ashley was happy.

 

Chapter 12: the invent-off

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Something was wrong with Ashley. Something was very wrong with Ashley. She’s not allowed to feel like this. She’s not allowed to be… happy. Ashley stares out the window, the same night that always blankets the mansion is there, but somehow… The world feels sunny. She hates this feeling so much. The blood rushing to her face, the thumping in her chest…

Ashley is knocked out of her thoughts by a loud knock on her door, scrambling to open it…

“Ashley! There’s someone at the door who wants to talk to you!” It’s Red, Ashley taking a moment to respond to him. “...Who?” she asks quietly. “Uh, some girl named Penny, I think she said her name was…” Ashley blushed, she was here? How did… How could she be here? Ashley never told her where she lived…

Wordlessly, Ashley moved past Red and sprinted down the stairs. “Oh uh, I guess you know each other?” Red said, but Ashley could barely hear him over the sound of her own footsteps. She swung the door open, apparently startling Penny, given her facial expression. “O-Oh uh, Hi!” Penny quickly recollected herself, before giving a small wave. “...How did you know I lived here?” Ashley’s eyes narrowed, the sight causing Penny to chuckle. “Well uh… most kids around here know where you live!” Ashley was confused by the statement. “Well… most kids like spreading rumors… and there's a pretty big one going around saying you’re an evil witch who sends kids to hell… not much of a leap that someone who has rumors like that spreading about them lives in the creepy haunted mansion.”

Ashley’s heart sank. Of course. Of course people know. Of course they know how awful she is. It’s what she deserves, after all, a rotten, disgusting, unlovable…

“Having met you… I don’t believe the rumors.” Penny said, followed by a smile, a so disgustingly earnest smile. Ashley… felt like she was about to cry. She couldn’t tell if it was because of the new knowledge that people hated her, or the fact that Penny didn’t. But she had to hold back her tears.

“Anyway…” Penny handed Ashley an envelope. “I wanted to hand you this, please read it soon, okay?” Ashley looked down at it. “Okay…” Penny turned around and began walking away, waving goodbye as she did. Ashley slowly waved back, before shutting the door.

Ashley sighed as her heart slowed. She hadn’t even noticed its pace had quickened. Opening the envelope, she read over it slowly.

It’s a VIP invitation, to something called an “Invent-Off” 

Ashley wasn’t sure why she had been given this… but despite how undeserving she felt she was of this, she knew she wanted to go. Any chance to see Penny again would be…

“...What is wrong with me?” Every moment the prospect of seeing her again was brought to her mind, a warm feeling was felt across her entire body. She doesn’t understand it. But…

Ashley opened her eyes, a stadium with people walking in, this was the largest crowd she had seen in… ever. She was glad she could view it from up here. Being around that many people was… intimidating. As the crowd shrank in size and the Invent-off was moments away from starting, she quickly flew down, showing the invite to the big person at the entrance, them directing her towards a secondary entrance to her right. She slowly walked inside, seating herself far away from the inventors and children that made up the VIP seating. She saw a group of people she recognized from the party. One was more focused on some kind of… handheld device, before his mom took it from him. 

Ashley diverted her attention from them, and paid attention to the stadium. To Penny.

The happiness when she succeeded, the sadness when she failed.

Such feelings, Ashley had never known.

Chapter 13: are you ready for it

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Ashley walked outside the stadium, she could swear her heart was beating out of her chest. She looked to the sky. Something was very, very wrong. She felt like she knew what was happening. But putting it into words…v It’s not that she can’t, it’s that she doesn’t want to. She won't betray her suffering like that. She won’t let herself experience that joy. She won’t let herself…

“Hello!” Ashley jumped. "Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you…again…” Penny said as Ashley turned around. She was wearing a jacket, very pink and fluffy looking. “I uh, wanted to invite you to something!” Penny looked at Ashley with that disgusting, so very sweet smile. “...Invite me to what?” Ashley asked. “Well… Me and 9-Volt, you uh… probably saw him earlier, we’re hanging out tomorrow! I thought you could join us…”  Ashley didn’t want to say yes. She knew she didn’t deserve this kindness. But there was something… something that stopped her from saying no.

“Okay… I guess I can join you.” Ashley said. There was a pain in her chest as she said that. One that she felt increase as Penny smiled harder.  “Great! We’ll be at 9-Volt’s, here’s the address!” Ashley was handed a small piece of paper, with an address written on it. The handwriting is terrible. She thinks she can read it but… “Okay! I have to leave now! I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” Penny waved goodbye. Those words… so painful, yet so nice to hear. Ashley sighed, placing herself back on her broom, silently flying home. 

Ashley had nothing but her thoughts, her thoughts of herself, of Penny, of what had brought her to this point. Does she feel happy? Ashley can’t answer, silence maintained as she lands home, enters the haunted mansion and goes to bed.  There was much to think about, not all of it made sense in Ashley’s head, but it infected her dreams. What once was nightmares of hunger and loneliness, was now filled with sickeningly sweet dances, talks and sounds.  How repulsive.

Chapter 14: dont let yourself be fooled by her innocent demeanor

Chapter Text

Ashley awoke, she felt strange. Almost energized… She, for the first time in what felt like years, stepped out of bed immediately. She moved downstairs immediately, surprising Red, who was still cooking breakfast. “Ashley! You're up early!” Ashley sat at the table, it was a habit at this point. “Uh, you’ll have to wait a bit, it’s still cooking…” Red said, half paying attention to her. “...How long will that be?” she said, her tone implying she had somewhere to be. “Just a few minutes!” Red looked at her for a moment. “...What’s got you in a hurry?” he said. 

 

Ashley looked away from the empty table and at Red. “...I’m going over to a friend's house today.” Ashley couldn’t see it, but Red smiled at that. “Oh! Is this a friend you like?” Ashley thought that was a strange question, but answered while bringing her hand to her cheek. “...Yes.” Red expected a response like that. “Good! Good.” Ashley couldn’t see his face, but she knew from how he was speaking, he had an idiotic smile on his face. She couldn’t say it irritated her. She liked Red. A lot more than he probably thought she did. 

 

Ashley stared out the window as Red finished up her breakfast. She could swear the sun was shining. She knew that was impossible, obviously… but still. Today was sunny. Ashley stared down at the bubbling cauldron, she had been trying to make something that at first seemed to be relatively simple, A magical recreation… of a potted plant. It was fairly standard for a person at her level to do this with ease. A week had gone by, not a single attempt had been successful. She tried twelve times a day. That’s eighty four failed attempts. She had never struggled this hard with similar spells, what was wrong? Ashley looked at the time.

 

Two minutes until it would be done. Ashley liked this part at least, the way magic simply… creates. It’s fascinating, every piece of root, every animal, every living and non-living being, has some kind of magical essence. The kind that through careful brewing, can be extracted and create entirely new things. Humans are especially full of magic, so much that through a simple conduit, even something as small as your fingers, can create fascinating spells. 

 

Ashley stared into the air as a large gust of brown smoke filled the air. She looked into the cauldron, expecting nothing, a big bowl full of nothing but her regrets. But it was there. A pot. Ashley looked at it for a second, half believing she was hallucinating. She hadn’t actually done it right? After trying again and again and again… She put her hand into the cauldron, hands coming into contact with the pot and…

 

She pulled her hand away as her finger lightly touched the pot, it was burning hot. That was to be expected, non-organic creations usually need time to cool before… She had done it. The pain in her finger, her burnt skin. The pot was finished. Ashley didn’t say anything, she simply looked towards her reddened finger, smiling. She ran out of The Room and down into the kitchen. Grabbing a small plastic bag from the counter and using the wand Red has given her to fill it with small ice cubes, letting it rest on her finger. It hurt. A lot. But Ashley smiled as tears, a strange mix of joy and pain, welled up in her eyes. This pain was strange, it felt so familiar… so very…

 

Ashley stopped smiling. Her mind drifted to somewhere, somewhere she had been avoiding all this time. Had she really forgotten? No, she just wanted to ignore it. The truth that she had known since the day she was born. 

 

She’s so disgusting, isn’t she? Here she was, this achievement, this creation, it was like she had done something good. But she hadn’t, she couldn't. No matter the happiness that bled through, she knew who she was. She was Ashley the Disgusting Witch. She’s so stupid. She really thought for a time she could forget her disgusting nature, good people don't turn people into spoons, good people don't get beaten and kicked out of the house. It all came back at that moment. The beatings, the blood escaping her nose and dripping into her mouth like a waterfall. The bruises, the screaming that was so inaudible because she could only focus on the puddle of her own blood that covered her clothing. She backed away from her dad, maybe out of some selfish need to avoid her punishment. 

 

Ashley stared at the ceiling. If she really tried, she could still smell the iron, taste the blood in her mouth. Ashley stared at the ice pack, leaking onto the table. Ashley pulled away her finger, it was so cold. The pain was there, but dulled. 

 

How long had she been lost in those thoughts? Not long enough. Ashley grabbed the ice pack, bringing it with her as she slowly walked upstairs. She entered The Room, staring at the cauldron that contained the pot. This was no longer an accomplishment, it was a statement that she could not accept a due punishment. She wanted to close that door and never enter again, but disgustingly, she could not. She walked up to the pot, staring down at it. Ashley closed her eyes, reached her hands in and picked it up. It no longer burned, but she wished it did. Her hands deserved to be set ablaze.

 

Ashley’s expression shifted to anger, to no one but herself, as she threw the pot across the room, it loudly shattered as it made contact with the wall, leaving behind large shards of… whatever the pot was made of. They looked sharp, Ashley thought to herself, if she wanted to, she could…

Ashley turned away as the thought invaded her mind. She wasn’t… she couldn’t do that. She left The Room, searching for a broom in the nearby closet. Ashley picked up a red broom and dustpan she had seen Red use often, making her way back to The Room, sweeping up the pot she had spent so long trying to make. She sighed, staring at the clock. It was about time for her to go to Penny’s. Penny… Ashley went back to her room, grabbing a bag full of snacks Red had made for her, nothing particularly healthy, just some chips he found at the store on a discount. 

 

Come to think of it, where was Red? It’s unlike him to disappear like this. Ashley decided to push it to the back of her mind, when Red suddenly burst through the door to her room. “Ashley! You’re going to hang out with your friends right?” Ashley closed her eyes for a second, before looking at Red. “Friends is a… strong word.” she said, a deadpan expression on her face. Red rolled his eyes and continued. “Well! Before you go, I made sure to go get this from the bookstore nearby!” 

 

He dropped it on the ground, it was a small book. “Turning familiars into magical items: A Beginners Guide.” Ashley read out loud. “I know we don’t have the usual relationship a witch and familiar usually have… but I think it’s worth a try!” Ashley didn’t respond, she couldn’t. Memories filled her mind. Memories that shouldn’t return, not now. She has to see… she has to see Penny again. Penny wouldn’t want to see someone acting like this, she’s too perfect. She’d probably… “Ashley?!?” Ashley stared at Red, his face was scared, the most scared she’d ever seen him. “Are you okay?!? You’re shaking…” Ashley’s eyes widened. Looking down at her arms…

 

Fear. They tremble with an unmistakable fear. She tried to get it to stop, hold it down, but that only made it worse. “I’m fine… I’m fine… I’M FINE!” Ashley kept saying, getting louder each and every time until she was screaming the words. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t…

 

“…Breathe.” She heard something say. She knew it was Red, but the voice didn’t sound like his, somehow. It was softer, lower, but still so familiar. Ashley breathed in, and out. In, and out. In, and out… She opened her eyes. The fear hadn’t faded, but it wasn’t all consuming. Her eyes were still full of those memories. “Ashley? Hey, you… look better, I think…” Red said to her, she looked up to him. “Oh, geez… I should probably go grab you some water for the road. Assuming you’re still going, that is…” Red asked, looking at her with a soft smile. “Y-Yeah, I’d like to…” 

 

Ashley wanted to see her again. As long as she can see her again… Maybe she won’t have to remember the blood and spoon. She grabbed the bag and went downstairs, meeting Red in front of the door as he handed her a small water bottle. “Enjoy yourself. You… you deserve to.” Red said, his voice conveying worry… but still a happiness that was contagious. “...Thank you.”

 

Ashley smirked as she walked outside, the night was less harsh than usual, at least that was how it felt to her. She walked away from the mansion and across the street, 9-Volt’s house wasn’t far. Ashley noticed how some school children would whisper about her as she walked, she could guess what they were talking about…

 

“Having met you, I don’t believe the rumors.” Those words echoed in Ashley’s mind. They made the thoughts more bearable. But they couldn’t mask the despair she felt. The only thing she could do was keep walking, lingering on the thoughts… Would lead to a repeat of earlier. 

 

Ashley tried her best to tune out her surroundings, focusing solely on what was ahead. Penny. Penny was ahead. Ashley breathed in and out as she found the house that matched the address. 

 

Ashley looked around, she could gather that whoever lived here liked video games, blocks and a flagpole scattered throughout the yard. A skateboard rested outside of the door, a bent mailbox that Ashley was surprised hadn’t fallen apart sat next to her. Ashley walked up to the front door, knocking on it a few times. A handful of seconds later, a woman much bigger than her, wearing a red hoodie with blond hair opened the door. She had a smile, they’re always smiling, aren’t they? Seems like everyone except Ashley in this town has a smile as their default expression…

 

“You must be Ashley! Penny said you were coming. Here, they’re in 9-Volt’s room. It’s just up the stairs.” Ashley only nodded as the woman let her in, Ashley took a sip from her water as she walked upstairs, immediately recognizing Penny’s voice coming from the room directly in front of her. She turned the knob and looked at the two of them, conversing about something. She couldn’t tell what they were talking about, the words were alien to her. They sat on small chairs, except for someone who Ashley assumed was an adult, the conversation stopped as Penny turned around, a bright smile on her face. “Ashley! You’re here!” Penny said while running up to her, seemingly about to give her a hug… before stopping. “Can I?” Penny said, her arms still outstretched. “...Sure.” Ashley responded, despite her tone, she… really wanted her to. Penny enveloped the witch, who blushed lightly. It only lasted a second. Ashley couldn’t help but feel disappointed as it ended. “Right, introductions! 9-Volt, 18-Volt, this is Ashley! She lives in that haunted mansion that everyone at school keeps talking about!” 9-Volt looked… uneasy. It’s not like she didn’t expect that, but seeing it was still…

 

“Hey!” 18-Volt said while holding out his hand, Ashley took a second to grab it, shaking it. “Do you like video games?” He said, Ashley shook her head. “I’ve never played one.” He looked shocked. “Never?” Ashley responded, sounding more annoyed this time. “Never.” 18-Volt smiled. “We need to fix that.” He said, while sitting back down, grabbing a controller, seemingly waiting for her to walk over before handing it over. She walked over to the other kid in the room, 9-Volt. Ashley held out her hand, like 18-Volt did for her. 9-Volt shook it, but slowly, hesitantly…

 

Ashley knew why. But she couldn’t think about it right now. She walked over to 18-Volt and picked up the controller he held out, not sitting down as she fiddled with it. The controller was black, with a button that said “Start/Pause” in the middle. It seemed mostly fine, in terms of usability. 

 

She noticed the unplugged cord, not needing to be told to plug it in the only open hole on the system the group was playing on. There was uneasiness in the room… Well really, it was an uneasiness coming from 9-Volt. He found her creepy, she could tell. Although the positivity, pure joy of Penny and 18-Volt caused the negative thoughts from it to not linger long. 

 

She wasn’t sure how to feel about that. She should be happy about that, right? That she has a reason to be happy. But it’s a bittersweet feeling. It feels nice, but also feels like it shouldn’t be at all. She looked at the screen, a kart racing game was what they were playing.

 

Fifth place, that was where she had ended up. The feeling wasn’t disappointment, it wasn’t a feeling at all. 18-Volt smiled at her, before lightly patting her at the back. “Hey, chin up! Fifth place is pretty good for your first time.” Ashley couldn’t help but let his enthusiasm bleed into her psyche. “...Thanks.” She said, a slight smile on her face. Ashley looked over to Penny, who was staring right back at her. “Good job!” Ashley smiled. 

 

That was something Ashley didn’t get. What… What was Penny? She looked human, but there was no way, right? The feelings created, the smiles had. No one could make Ashley feel like that unless they were some kind of monster… But what kind? Ashley had read dozens of books on monsters, demons and the like. There was no way Penny wasn’t one of those… There was no way Ashley could feel this happy just from looking at someone. 

 

“Ashley?” Ashley snapped out of her thoughts, she was staring. “...Sorry.” Penny smiled, before staring back at the screen. Ashley focused on the game, wanting to impress her… Friends? Were they… were they friends? That broke Ashley’s focus immediately. She tried her best to focus on doing better, but the question kept coming up, and it kept getting answered with a “I don’t know.” 

 

The race finished and… Fifth again. “...Ah.” Ashley sighed. She turned to the people around her, 18-Volt had this look of smugness as he had come in first, 9-Volt had a look she couldn’t quite parse before it turned to unease once more, once he realized she was looking at him. “...You uh… did good for your first time!” he said, Ashley swore she could hear a pin drop. “...Why are you so nervous, dude?” 9-Volt whispered in his ear for a second. “...Really?”

 

18-Volt looked at Ashley for a second. Before turning back to 9-Volt “...I don’t think that’s true.” Penny stood up as she seemingly realized what they were talking about. “Hey! I invited Ashley because she’s cool! Those rumors are baseless!” 9-Volt tensed up “I… well…” 

 

He sighed. “Sorry…” Ashley looked at him, he looked like he felt like he was about to be eaten. “...It’s fine. Just…” Ashley thought for a second. “...Don’t believe dumb rumors like that. They’re never true.” 9-Volt’s expression finally softened. “So, we’re good?” Ashley looked at him for a second. “Yeah.” 9-Volt turned his expression back to the screen. “Okay then!” The next race started. 

 

…Ashley couldn’t focus. There was a new thought, one that threatened her entire being, the entire idea that her reason for living was a lie. Were her parents… wrong about her? The race continued, she felt strangely invigorated at the thought, but she didn’t want to believe it. She looked around, the smiles on everyone's faces added fuel to the mental fire. She remembered the mutterings on her way here, the breakdown she had before, but they all seemed so distant, so strange. Drowned out by one thing.

 

Friends. People that like her, something that was only felt with Red, but Red is more a caretaker than a friend. But these… were people she could spend a lifetime with. She looked over at Penny, the feeling was amplified. So much so it was a little overwhelming. She could swear it felt like… Ashley smiled, out of manic happiness… and fear.

Chapter 15: she might be the ingredient i seek

Chapter Text

Ashley’s face was red, she felt like she was about to explode any moment. She liked Penny… a lot more than as a friend. It makes a lot of sense in hindsight, she’s a little mad at herself for not realizing it sooner. But this… it’s all wrong. She’s not… supposed to like girls. That’s what her parents told her. All she was told from the day she was born.

 

Yet what else could this be? Ashley felt like screaming, out of fear, but also some strange excitement. She was going to burn, wasn’t she? But maybe… being with Penny would make that worth it in the end. 

 

She stared up at the ceiling, she felt something strange, like the ceiling was staring back at her, taunting her. She couldn’t look away. The marbling created patterns as it always did, shapes that didn’t stay the same way for more than a second, but ever so often… hearts, love, an unyielding feeling of acceptance, followed by fear. 

 

She couldn’t name the shapes, nor could she really describe them, but she felt them. She felt what they were saying, what they meant. What she wanted them to mean, anyway. She wonders if on some level she wants to burn for indulging in these feelings.  Ashley sighed, shoving her face into her pillow, she hoped that Red couldn’t hear her scream into it. 

 

“...I need to distract myself.” Ashley dropped off her bed and made her way towards The Room. She didn’t know what she was going to make, but she had to make something. As the door swung open, her mind flashed back. The pot, it wasn’t there, but she swore she could still see it. 

 

Ashley walked over to the shelf, grabbing the same ingredients she had used before, a small bag of clay mix, a small amount of dirt and a tuft of fake hair, for size. Ashley conjured some fire beneath the cauldron, and began waiting for the water to boil. She couldn’t do much but stare, stare into the water.

 

She wouldn’t let it happen again, maybe she’ll burn for it, but right now she doesn’t really care. Ashley would let herself see Penny again, no matter the punishment.  The water began boiling, and Ashley stirred the ingredients into the cauldron. Now the waiting game began, for the next hour, she would stir the cauldron every ten minutes, for the next hour, she would stare at the bubbling cauldron.

 

It’s a whole lot of doing… nothing. But Ashley finds it… oddly enjoyable. She had always read of the practice at school, but given the opportunity. While at first she feared it, the practice had quickly become the highlights of her days. She thought back to yesterday, and thought of the pot that once shattered against the wall.

 

She was being so dramatic then. She can see that now, it feels much… clearer. She stirred the cauldron. She has something to look forward to. Even if her parents are right about her, she can go on. She stirred the cauldron. Penny. Ashley had become infatuated with her, hadn’t she? She stirred the cauldron. Now she knows why. She’s… in love with the girl. She stirred the cauldron. Did Penny reciprocate? …Probably not. She stirred the cauldron. Maybe that’s for the best though, no one should burn with her.

 

The process happened again, and in the middle of the Cauldron was a pot. Ashley stared, waiting for it to cool, she could only think of last time. She was burned then. Ashley picked up the pot, staring at it.  She placed it on the shelf next to her. She would not let herself be burned again.

Chapter 16: this'll make you big

Chapter Text

“...I can’t remember the last time you came out here on your own.” Ashley closed her eyes as Red hovered behind her, she was shoveling dirt into the pot she had spent so long working on. “I’m happy about that, to be clear.” Ashley didn’t let him see, but she smiled. “...I made the pot. I’m working on the next step.” She said, slightly out of breath from shoveling non-stop, dropping the trowel she had been using, wiping sweat from her forehead and picking up the pot. 

 

“I’ll get the door for you.” Red flew over, holding the door open as Ashley carried the pot back inside, slowly making her way up to The Room, being careful not to let any dirt fall out. As Red opened the door for her, she walked to the center of the room, placing the pot there. She sat next to it, clutching her wand, focusing her energy into it… and trying to grow a plant from the dirt.

 

Nothing, no green, no life spouting from the earth like she had wanted. There was a small spark of magical energy, but nothing came from it. “Hmm…”

 

Ashley stood up, walking toward her spell book, skimming through the pages to find something related to growing plants.

 

“...Growing plants requires an… organic wand? What is…” In all her readings of magic textbooks, she had never once heard this aspect of magic. “Then I…”

 

Ashley placed the spell book down on the shelf. “...It’s useless, then…” Ashley stared at the pot in the middle of the floor. “...All that, for…” Red stared down at her. “I… have an idea.” Red said, flying right in front of her. Ashley tilted her head.

 

“So, demons are… extremely varied in appearance, that’s because we, on a base level, contain some shapeshifting abilities, normally they’re not as advanced as this, but…”

 

Ashley nodded. “...I see where you’re going with this.” Red smirked. “Good! No need to bury you with details, then.” Red flew in the air, a large ball of smoke coming from and obscuring his body, when the smoke cleared…

 

A wand softly dropped into Ashley’s hands. “Huh.” She said, before looking at the pot. Pointing her wand at it once more and focusing her energy. The pot shook for a moment before…

 

A small, wilted looking sprout popped out of it. Ashley sighed as Red turned back into a demon, picking the pot back up and staring at it. “Well…”

 

“...It’s a start.”