Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Come over, I miss you papi.”

“I need you inside me.”

“Give it to me.”

“I want you to fuck me.”

“Deeper.”

“Faster.”

“Harder.”

That’s all I ever hear now. Almost every damn day, it’s the same bullshit scripts said to me just to get in bed with him. Only nowadays does it seem to be more frequent and urgent, like he’s gonna die without sex with me.

I’ve tried many times to tell him I’ve had other plans or just “not right now,” and he would go on a whole rant about how his wife is giving him hell and he really just wants my company. I, of course, fall for that stupid excuse every single time. Because one, I actually do care for Mario on a deeper and non-sexual level and two, I don’t need his big brother bitching in my ear about being mean to his baby brother. I need to keep this bassist job to pay my bills, after all.

When we were younger, we would occasionally hook up here and there. I knew the little bastard had a crush on me as did I have one on him, so our intimate moments were a bit awkward at first. But now, it’s gotten borderline ridiculous and unhealthy.

He turns to me for forms of “therapy” and solace from the burden of being at home. Those forms of therapy just either being him on his knees in front of me on his back porch or bouncing on my cock and moaning-screaming till we get a noise complaint at my own house. (Which has happened… multiple times.)

He’s actually gotten fucking caught by his own wife. From her reading his texts to literally witnessing him having sex with me. And he stopped for a week, then he got bored of acting like he cared and hit me up again. Like his poor spouse didn’t raise hell on both of us and almost hit me with a frying pan… cooking eggs, mind you.

Mario has made it very clear that he doesn’t care who sees or knows that he loves me. If you wanna call it that, at this point. Don’t get me wrong, there were rare moments where he did genuinely need comfort and a shoulder to cry on but it’s obvious that bottles up his feelings and uses me as a way to “feel better.”

I’ve told him I will always be there for him, not even just for a quick way to get ourselves off. But his response to this was; “Thank you, papi. Now, enough of this sentimental stuff. I’ve been thinking about you all day.” And rubbing my crotch to get me in the mood. It worked and I felt like I shouldn’t have said anything at all…

It’s not only his sex drive that’s heightened either. His snobby and bratty attitude has gotten worse, even to the point Joe had to yell at him like a parent to a child for not listening and acting like a smart ass. Mario has even shoved Christian a couple times, claiming he’s “moving too slow” but he was standing out of his way and Mario had all the room to walk past him.

There was even a day, where I was absent from practice, that Joe and Mario got into a physical altercation and the producers had to step in. Even leading to one of the poor souls to get a black eye. Christian had texted me the event details that same night it happened.

I seriously don’t understand what’s gotten into him. Yes, he used to be a bit obnoxious in his early twenties but he calmed down when he hit his thirties. Now he seemed to have regressed back to that bad behavior at 43 years old, but now only worse. Meanwhile he expects my 50 year old body to keep up with his needs, which I luckily can since I keep myself healthy and active by riding my bike to god knows where.

I just feel like I’m running in a vicious cycle with Mario. I love him to death and beyond, I would give up my life for him even, but he’s draining my life rather than making it better. This secret affair I’m having with the brat is driving me mad but… I just can’t get enough of him, no matter how much I try to stop myself from giving in.

His loud moans, the way he screams my name and calls me “papi,” the way he looks up at me when he’s on his knees, his whines when he’s so desperate for me. This is vulgar to say but even the way he looks with my cum plastered on his freckled face is too beautiful to put into words.

Like he needs me to live, like I give him a purpose. He’s told me before that I’m his reason to keep living, that I’m his one and only. And me being gullible, I take his word and keep coming back for more when he asks. He has me on a leash, like some sort of freak.

Today, I’ve decided I’m going to confront him and let him understand how I truly feel. I’ll make him listen, I’ll raise my voice if I have to. Mario needs to know I’m not just a sex toy that he can fuck when he’s feeling angry or upset. That’s not how this works, our friendship nor the little relationship we’ve been in for years. If he wants to love me and if he wants me to love him, he needs to get his shit right or there will be serious consequences.

Even if he’s mad at me for a while and he never wants to touch me again, I will be fine as will he. I don’t need his delicious touches and sweet moans, not at all. I will not be seduced by him any more. I am done.

Messages
From: Jean-Michel
To: Mario
“Mario, meet me in the parking lot outside the abandoned factory tonight at 10. We need to talk.”

…

From: Mario
To: Jean-Michel
“Okay, papi. I’ve been missing you so much lately. I’m glad to hear you miss me too. See you tonight, handsome. 🩷”

Just seeing his response made me roll my eyes. Was this the right idea? Is he even gonna listen to me? No, wait yes. Yes, this was the right idea and he is gonna listen. I’m the oldest of the band, he should know to respect his elders… Not saying I’m old but you know what I mean.

(10 pm)

I sit on the hood of my car as I look up at the moon and stars above, thinking of all the wrongs and rights of my life thus far. At half a century years old, I think I’m fairly wise and knowledgeable on a lot of things. I can handle whatever troubles and burdens life throws at me, such as divorce and falling down a steep hill because my leg cramped and I lost my balance. I didn’t break any bones so that’s a sign I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

I’m shaken from my thoughts when I hear the sound of a car pulling up next to mine and parking. I look over and see it’s Mario’s car, another one of his places to escape from home. I look in his driver side window and see that he’s thankfully alone.

He opens his door and steps out, already giving me ‘that’ look as he closes the door behind him. He begins coming towards me, that sadistic smile on his face is already a sign that he thinks this night is gonna go his way.

For Mario, it’s either his way or the high way. He won’t listen to or take anything that isn’t in his interest, and that stops tonight. It’s gonna be my way.

“Papi, it’s been a while.” He says in a suggestive voice as he walks towards me, not even waiting for me to speak. I take a deep breath and begin to respond. “Mario, we need to talk. And it’s something serious.” I say, my voice stern and strict. I make sure to maintain eye contact with those pretty green eyes, the pupils are already wide with arousal. For fuck sakes, is this man horny around the clock? Does he think about sex ALL day?

“Oh? And what could be troubling you so bad on this gorgeous night?” He says, his voice lowering to a husky whisper. He continues, “are you just as lonely as me tonight, papi? Don’t worry,” his hand begins to travel down my stomach to grab my penis through my jeans, “I can fix that.” He whispers against my ear, biting on it softly.

At this, I snap. “No! That’s enough.” I jolt to the side, getting his hand off me. “That’s what I wanted to talk about…” I say, avoiding his gaze which I can feel burning holes in the side of my head. “I’m…” I swallow, “I’m tired of being used for sex by you, okay.” I finally admit, trying very hard for my half erect cock to go back down.

Mario keeps watching me silently, unmoving. I don’t even want to look him in the eyes. Where did my determination and courage go? Why the fuck do I feel scared right now?! Am I seriously second guessing myself?

“We just… we have so much more than this, Mario.” My hands begin to sweat under the cool night air. “I love you so much, and I always will.” I reassure him, so he doesn’t go on that ‘you don’t love me’ tirade. “But you… we need serious help. This is unhealthy for both of us and it’s going to tear us apart in the long run,” I keep going, my mouth running on its own now as my brain throws out the words, “and not just us, the band as a whole. I know you’re suffering, Mario. And it’s hurting you, but it’s also hurting everyone around you. Please, I’ll even go with you to therapy appointments. I’m practically pleading-

“Jean.” He cuts me off, his voice flat and cold.

“Huh?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

My blood runs cold. I don’t say another word as I finally muster up the courage to look up into his eyes. What I see staring back at me is one of the most dangerous stares I’ve seen from him. It was arousal now mixed with anger, which is never a good mixture.

Did I make a mistake? Should I have kept my mouth shut?

Suddenly, in a move that was faster than the blink of an eye, Mario has me pinned up against my car hood. The hard tent in his pants pressed up against my own, which was unfortunately growing harder from the sudden aggression. God please just kill me now.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Jean. You know you love when you’re fucking me and I make you cum.” His voice a deep growl as he is a mere inch from my face. “You have no one else besides me.” He begins to grind against me, creating friction. Oh god… Why do I like it? Why the fuck did I say anything?!

“I got myself all prepared just for you.” He smiles in my face, his eyes staring deep into mine. “By myself, in my bathroom, thinking of you as I worked myself open with my fingers. You know you like that. You like that I’m so fucking obsessed with you.”

I suddenly feel a hard tug on my hair, pulling my head back. “So what the fuck do you mean by all that huh? You wanna stop having sex with me altogether?” He chuckles, “and you’re stupid for thinking that’s gonna stop me. Because I’ll just go to Christian and make Joe kick your ass out of the band.” It’s getting harder to breathe. Has he always been this sadistic? This isn’t just some bratty behavior now, it’s sociopathic.

“And who knows, maybe I’ll make him and Christian split up so I’ll have Christian all to myself.” I wanna cry. Both from fear and how absolutely hard I am. “You wanna see people getting hurt? I’ll show you hurt, papi. In a heartbeat.” He pulls my hair even harder as he presses our lips together hard enough to almost knock my teeth out.

“God, I love you.” He muffles into my mouth, “I love you so fucking much.” He continues, pressing himself against me harder and causing the friction to become uncomfortable. He finally pulls back, we’re both breathless and now drunk off our lust once again. “Now fuck me in your car, you stupid old man.” He whispers against my lips. “And don’t ever say some nonsense to me like that again.” His eyes staring daggers into my eyes as he says that.

At that moment, I truly understood why I never spoke up. And now I know to never do it again. Not only will I get myself and the others in trouble, but fuck was he right that I do enjoy this pain. He is the only one I have, he’s the one I need. Who was I kidding to say I hated this… I have nothing else to love. The mental pain he inflicts is intoxicating, and I’m happy I can get him just as drunk off all the love I pour into and onto him.

This night went his way as usual.