Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bernard knew. He had known since the beginning of time. Basically. It wasn’t that far of a leap for a conspiracy theorist like Bernard, especially in his teen years. It had started out as a joke "Wouldn’t it be crazy if the new guy I became friends with was Robin?" But slowly, it stopped feeling like a joke.

Bernard was a Tim Drake enthusiast, president of the Tim Drake fan club, so he noticed when the guy he had a massive crush on made a suspicious comment or disappeared randomly. Then, suddenly, a new Robin had shown up and when Bernard brought it up, Tim had gotten weirdly salty. Bernard was positive it wasn’t a coincidence.

Then the shooting happened. Darla died. And Bernard was alone.

So he did what any heartbroken teen who had just lost his best friend/fake crush and his other best friend/real crush would do he obsessively researched Robin. He made fan posts and fake theories and real ones until the wounds started to close. But it didn’t help. So he did what a now-heartbroken adult would do. He joined the Children of Dionysus.

Not his best decision in the world. But it brought him to where he was now the civilian boyfriend of Timothy Drake-Wayne, aka Red Robin; the best EMT in the city, amateur chef, and part-time conspiracy theorist. Bernard had a good life. The best life. He spent his time healing and comforting people the way no one had done for him. He gave Batman Band-Aids to kids and listened to people when they needed someone to hear them. He came up with wild theories to make people laugh especially Tim.

He didn’t ask questions when Tim came over covered in bruises and scars. He just silently patched him up and listened to whatever excuse Tim tried to sell him.
“I got mugged” (King Snake had nearly broken his ribs).
“I tripped down the stairs” (he fell almost three stories).
“A stray cat scratched me” (a Joker goon had slashed him across the stomach).

Bernard just nodded along, internally laughing at his boyfriend’s horrible lies.

Bernard was the cool civilian boyfriend. He kept quiet about what he knew and waited for Tim to tell him. He didn’t complain about the lies. He didn’t complain about the dates Tim missed. He didn’t complain ever.

But sometimes, it was hard being the cool boyfriend. He had the best life. He repeated it like a mantra every time he had to be the cool boyfriend.

1)

Bernard knew he wasn’t Red Robin’s priority. Gotham was and always would be. Most of the time, Bernard wasn’t even Tim Drake’s priority, which was fine. Really. Tim was a crime-fighting superhero and the heir to two massive fortunes not to mention a CEO. Bernard had known going into the relationship that dates would be canceled. That there would be missed texts and long silences.
But sometimes, Bernard needed Tim. Really needed him. He needed to be reminded that he wasn’t alone. That Tim was still there. Still his.

His lucky charm.

Tim tried his best, Bernard could tell. He was observant like that. But sometimes, the world was too much, and Bernard just needed Tim there.
It was nights like this.

He woke up with the bitter taste of blood on his tongue and the ghostly sting of pain left over from some long-forgotten fight. He lay frozen, staring up at the popcorn ceiling, searching for patterns to distract himself.

Clouds.
A smiling face.
Eyes. So many eyes all staring back at him.

Bernard bolted upright. He sprinted to the bathroom, grabbing his phone on the way. He splashed water on his face again and again until the taste of blood faded. Until the burning sensation on his skin dulled. But he could still see the eyes those chaos monster eyes like he was still chained and helpless.

He couldn’t escape them. He checked the time 1:50 a.m.

He opened his messages.
Timmy <333
Heyyyy, u busy rn
Delivered just now

He stared at his reflection, hoping that if it was only his own eyes on him, the fear would go away. So he stared. And stared. Until all he saw was a blurred reflection of the world around him.

>>>>Heyyyy, u busy rn
Delivered at 2:13 a.m.

>>>>U up?
Delivered just now

Bernard sighed. Tim was always up. It usually took thirty minutes of pleading just to get him to sleep. It was worrying, but sleep deprivation didn’t faze Tim, so Bernard only intervened when he could tell Tim was running on empty when his footsteps slowed, when Bernard could hear him approach before he even knocked.

>>>>Heyyyy, u busy rn
>>>>U up?
Read at 2:15 a.m.

>>>>Tim?
Delivered just now

It was fine. Bernard was fine. Tim was probably fighting some major villain or leaping across rooftops in search of a lead.

It was fine.

Bernard didn’t need a hug from his boyfriend to feel better after a nightmare. He was a grown-up. A very cool boyfriend. He had the best life.

He didn’t need to hear Tim’s voice saying it was going to be okay.

Bernard hooked up his punching bag to the ceiling. The neighbors were probably pissed about the noise, but they’d get over it. He just needed to let out some energy.

Who needed sleep anyway?

Tim didn’t. So Bernard didn’t either.

He was used to getting barely any. A Gotham EMT never really slept. Bernard was cool. Bernard was fine.
Tomorrow, when Tim was done running across rooftops, he’d text back. Bernard would put on a bright shirt probably the pink collared one with his shiny silver jacket. He’d smear on concealer, maybe dab on some yellow color corrector. Then he’d go to Tim’s boat and try not to hold on too tight.
Because Bernard was the chillest, coolest boyfriend. A buzz pulled his attention. He checked his phone as he slid his stress banana bread into the oven. 9:00 a.m.

<<<Sorry I fell asleep before I could respond lol
Sent just now

Bernard stared into space for a moment before replying.

>>>>💀💀💀
>>>> Dw just couldn’t sleep
>>>> Wanna come over? I’ll make waffles
Read just now

It was a good excuse to get Tim to come over. Besides, waffles went great with the chocolate chip cookies and snickerdoodles Bernard had already baked.

<<<Always
Delivered just now

At 9:30, Tim walked into the apartment. Bernard wasn’t surprised in the least. He turned, greeting his boyfriend with a smirk as Tim kicked off his boots.

“Hello there,” Bernard said, sauntering over.

“Hey, Bear,” Tim replied, sweeping Bernard into a tight hug.

Bernard savored the feeling of being pressed against Tim’s warm chest. He squeezed tight despite his earlier promise not to cling. This- this was home. The smell of banana bread, Tim’s warm (slightly sweaty) hands under his oversized shirt, even the sound of the waffle maker dinging in the background.

“Get off me, asshole, unless you want a burned waffle,” Bernard muttered, shoving Tim away. Tim pouted but relented. Bernard plated two waffles, topping them with blueberry compote. Tim hovered nearby.

“Is that banana bread I smell?” he asked, stepping further into the cramped apartment.

“You know it is,” Bernard replied, pushing the plate at him. He caught Tim reaching for the bag of fresh cookies.

“Oh no you don’t,” Bernard snapped, grabbing the bag and shielding it. “These are for my hard working coworkers. Not for cookie stealing CEOs who haven’t even touched their waffles yet.”

Tim finally accepted the plate, surrendering for now and settled onto Bernard’s worn blue couch. Bernard grabbed a plate for himself and joined Tim on the couch. They curled up together under a blanket on a rainy Sunday, sharing waffles and making fun of Criminal Minds. It had been an awful night. But here, in Tim’s arms, Bernard remembered why he tried so hard to be the cool boyfriend.

2)

It was a dark night in Gotham, and Bernard was rushing through the city in the aid car with his partner, Isla Maren. They had already had a long shift, transporting several patients to Wayne-funded hospitals. Bernard was sure Tim was having a rough patrol, given how many people he and Isla had patched up already. From bullet wounds to minor seizures, Gotham EMTs had to be ready for everything.

“Hey, asshole thoughts on the road” Isla snapped, breaking Bernard out of his internal monologue, where he had been listing all the injuries Tim could possibly sustain tonight.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bernard replied. They’d gone through the academy together and ended up stationed at the same unit after graduation. They were a great team efficient, experienced, and good at their jobs. Isla spoke fluent Spanish, and Bernard had learned ASL to communicate better with Cass. It was rare that they were in a situation where their patient couldn’t get the help they needed.

All it took was one second.

One split second, and Bernard was swerving to avoid a man standing in the middle of the road. The ambulance veered sharply and slammed into a wall, crashing hard into brick. Bernard barely had time to think, thank the gods there’s no one in the back, before everything went black. The last thing he heard was the sound of boots approaching.

-
When Bernard opened his eyes, he was in a dark room. His hands were zip-tied behind his back, and his legs were chained together. He looked over and saw Isla and a few others in various states of disrepair. All of them were wearing Gotham EMT uniforms. As his eyes adjusted to the gloom, Bernard took in the expressions of pure terror around him. Isla was still unconscious. Blood dripped steadily from Bernard’s head.

Fuck. He was scared out of his mind.

He needed to calm the hell down. Bernard wasn’t some damsel waiting for his superhero boyfriend not anymore, not ever again. He couldn’t think about how the chains reminded him of the chaos monsters. Couldn’t think about how the restraints mirrored the worst time of his life. Couldn’t think about how the cold room felt like the one where he’d almost been sacrificed. Where there had been knives. And whips. And fists.

Bernard pulled at the restraints. They were tight, but he was strong. If he timed it right and applied enough force, he could break them. These were amateur kidnappers. Zip ties couldn’t hold the average Gothamite. But looking around, the others were in no shape to escape bloody, bruised, broken. Bernard wouldn’t be surprised if he had a grade two concussion himself. But he didn’t have time to worry about that.

A hand suddenly gripped his hair, yanking him from the room and dragging him into a hallway, then dumping him into what looked like an abandoned office. A man was perched casually on a decaying desk, typing something into his phone.

Bernard had to stay cool. He thought of his teenage self cocky, confident, full of swagger. The version of him that had thrown his arms around a clearly reluctant Tim Drake and declared them friends. That version of Bernard would smirk and talk fast and not show fear. So he tried. He tried to pull that cocky smile onto his face.

He didn’t notice the man approaching until a kick slammed into his ribs. Then another crushed his chest, knocking him onto his back. More kicks came from all sides. Bernard clenched his jaw, refusing to cry out. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. He was Tim Drake’s boyfriend. He had survived worse. He was in a pain cult, for gods’ sake. He knew how to dissociate. Suddenly, the beating stopped. His awareness slammed back into his body. Someone grabbed him by the collar and hauled him upright.

“You and the others are going to put your brains together and figure out a way to cure Mrs. Freeze. And you’re going to do it now,” the man growled.

“No way you’re working for Freeze,” Bernard spat.

“Not yet. But we will. He rejected us, said he didn’t want goons. But we know power when we see it. And he has it. So we’re going to get that power, and you’re going to help us.”

“Don’t think your plan’s gonna work, buddy. If there’s one thing I know about Freeze, it’s that he works alone.”

“Not for long,” the man said, and the kicks resumed.

“The others gave in faster,” he hissed. “You should consider it. Before we leave you to bleed out.”

“I’m good, thanks,” Bernard managed between blows.

Then he spotted a knife glinting in the man’s hand. Dissociate, Bernard told himself. Let go of the pain. Let your body take it. But it only worked for so long. The slashes across his body hurt like hell. Bernard screamed one long, raw sound. Letting the pain out helped. Just enough.
He could do this. He was Bernard “Cool Boyfriend” Dowd.

“Had a change of heart?” the man asked.

“Never,” Bernard rasped, right before he caught a glimpse of a black cape outside the window.

One final stab landed in his thigh.

“Fuck!” Bernard screamed. “That hurt like a bitch!”

Then the window exploded inward, and Cass and Red Robin crashed into the room. Bernard moved fast. He yanked his arms downward, snapping the zip ties, then swept the legs out from under the man beside him. They hit the floor together. Bernard climbed onto him, fists flying until the man stopped moving. He looked up, panting, just in time to see Cass incapacitate two others with swift, precise blows. Tim had the leader in a headlock, forcing him into cuffs. Tim shoved the man toward Cass before rushing to Bernard’s side. Bernard collapsed into Tim’s arms, chains still around his legs. Tim quickly undid them and pulled Bernard against his chest, letting his head rest on Red Robin’s armor.

“I’m scared,” Bernard whispered.

“I know. It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.” But it wasn’t Tim’s voice, it was Red Robin’s. Professional. Steady.

“I miss my boyfriend. I want Tim,” Bernard whispered again, hoping it would break through the mask.

“I know. I’m sure he’ll be waiting for you once we get you to an ambulance.”

Bernard swallowed his tears. Cool boyfriend. Good life. he told himself.

It was fine. He was fine.

He could wait.

“Yeah...” Bernard murmured, giving Tim one last deflated look before the world went black.

-
When Bernard woke up in the warm hospital room, a clammy hand was holding his. The darkness tried to drag him back, but Bernard longed for Tim. Even unconsciousness couldn’t hold him back.
He squeezed the hand and forced his eyes open.

Tim was there, slouched in the world’s most uncomfortable hospital chair, eyes wet. Darcy lounged at the end of the bed. Steph and Cass were curled up on a chair, Cass’s head tucked under Steph’s chin.

“Hey, Bear,” Tim said, voice cracking just a little.

“Timmy,” Bernard beamed, giving the biggest smile he could manage.

3)

Bernard had been waiting in some fancy Italian restaurant for Tim to return from the bathroom for about 45 minutes. Which was fine. Bernard was cool. But the staff were definitely starting to give him weird looks. He could almost hear the conversations happening in the kitchen.

“Is he here alone?”

“No, someone was with him earlier.”

“Poor guy probably got ghosted.”

It wasn’t like he was fighting Clayface on the streets of Gotham or anything. No. Bernard was just safely sitting inside a restaurant on his one-year anniversary. So he was fine. He was a very cool and chill boyfriend. It was fine. He didn’t want to melt into his chair or anything. No, that would be ridiculous. Right? He had his phone pulled up, watching the fight unfold live. It should’ve been a quick battle, but "I went to the bathroom" was a pretty bad excuse even by Tim’s standards. And Bernard’s standards were on the floor at this point. Seriously, “I left my sweater in the burning building”? Tim hadn’t even been wearing a sweater! Or maybe Tim thought Bernard was just another dumb blond who wouldn’t notice. Someone he could lie to, who wouldn’t ask questions. Someone temporary. Maybe Bernard was just a cover. Because why would Red Robin, the Red Robin want someone like Bernard? Bernard knew he wasn’t special. Not really. He was just a guy with weird theories. Tim was someone who solved crimes and saved lives. Bernard existed. Tim thrived.

Bernard felt a sting behind his eyes as he held back tears. If he started crying now and Tim came back? Bernard would be discarded. If he couldn’t even be easygoing, what was the point? What did he bring to the table? He was supposed to make Tim’s life easier. Bake him sweets. Cook him dinner. Patch him up. Kiss him goodnight. Every genuine laugh he dragged out of Tim was payment for the life Bernard didn’t think he deserved. That was his role to make things easier. So Tim could keep being Red Robin. Bernard blinked away the tears. He didn’t let them fall on the pristine white tablecloth. He didn’t let any pain show. He hid every bruise and every thought. He had the best life. He was lucky.

Keep everything in. Keep Tim. That’s how it was. That’s how it would always be.

Deep breath. In 1, 2, 3, 4… Hold. 1, 2, 3, 4… Out. 1, 2, 3, 4...

Bernard counted. And counted. Just over an hour had passed.

Timmy <333
>>>>Heyyyy don’t feel so hot. Heading home
>>>>luv you <333
Delivered Just Now

Bernard paid for their drinks while an annoyed waitress checked her watch. The restaurant would be closing soon. It was late and true Gothamites didn’t stay out late unless they were looking to get mugged.
Bernard sighed and stepped into the rainy night. Sirens blared in the distance. People yelled. Boots stomped down wet pavement. It was the Gotham soundscape not safe, not calm, but home.
He walked through the dark streets, phone and wallet tucked safely into his inner jacket pocket, hood pulled up, head down. Bernard tried to be someone bright in the rain. A sunbeam in Gotham. But when he was alone, he was still just that teen with a broken heart and old scars.

Despite the tears streaking his face, Bernard knew from the outside he looked dangerous enough to stay safe. He wasn’t a small guy. Tall. Broad-shouldered from boxing and self-defense classes Tim’s idea. He wasn’t Red Robin, but he was strong enough. He had scary dog privileges.

He walked up the stairs past the broken elevator to his apartment and crashed onto the couch. He flipped on the TV, hoping the news would say the Clayface battle was over. It was. Highlights played across the screen. Bernard sighed in relief and changed the channel to some cheesy Hallmark movie where a high-powered businesswoman fell in love with her childhood friend/ex/single dad/apple farmer. It wasn’t the best one he’d seen, but he was a Hallmark aficionado.

He longed for the kind of devotion those movies promised. When he was younger back when he was applying to his dual degree in bio and physics, he used to imagine living like one of those Hallmark girls. Some small-town scientist creating a vaccine for all strains of fear toxin. Red Robin would notice. Maybe Tim Drake-Wayne would try to buy the formula. And Bernard? Bernard would smile and say, “Health care shouldn’t be for sale.”

A knock on the door yanked him out of the fantasy. Bernard snorted at himself, laughing softly. The clouds in his brain were parting. Everything would be okay now. He just knew it.
He peeled himself off the couch and opened the door.

“Hey, Bear.” Tim stood in front of him out of the nice suit he’d worn to dinner and instead in Batman pajama bottoms and a plain black hoodie under his rain jacket.

“Hey, Timmy.” Two seconds later, Tim was hugging him tightly, nose pressed into Bernard’s neck. Bernard gently rubbed his back, feeling for injuries. The hug lasted an embarrassingly long time before Bernard managed to shut the door behind them. Tim kissed him, deep and desperate. They stumbled toward the couch, bumping into walls and counters, kissing like they hadn’t in weeks. Finally, they fell onto the couch. Bernard ended up straddling Tim, fingers curled around his collar.

“You okay? You were in the bathroom a looong time, Timmy.”

Bernard brushed back a strand of Tim’s hair, watching his boyfriend’s face shift from dazed to guilty to annoyed at the nickname.

“I- uh- I was throwing up. A lot.” Bernard raised a brow.

“Oh? Were you now?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“My poor, beautiful boyfriend, hurling his guts out. I’m sorry I didn’t check on you. I just got the most sudden stomachache too. Must’ve been the restaurant,” Bernard said with a grin. It was a lie. An obvious one. An out. A free pass for Tim to take.

“Yeah, definitely the restaurant,” Tim agreed weakly. Bernard smiled, leaning back into his boyfriend. He knew he should change out of his dress shirt and gray slacks, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Tim’s chest. The Hallmark movie droned on in the background. He melted into the warmth, into the hum of Tim’s heartbeat.

4)

Bernard loved Tim’s friends and family. He did. They were kind and funny in their own ways but they were also all superheroes. Superheroes who were absolutely terrible at keeping their civilian identities.
You’d think the world’s protectors the Teen Titans, the Batfamily, and the rest would know how to lie to one random civilian guy. But no. Not at all. It was almost laughable how bad they were at pretending.
Maybe it was because they mostly hung out with each other, people who already knew the truth. But still come on. With the knowledge that Tim was Red Robin, it was easy to match the rest Steph was clearly Spoiler, Cass was obviously Black Bat, Kon was Superboy, Cassie was Wonder Girl, and Bart was Impulse. Easy. Sometimes Bernard had to stop himself from pulling out a slideshow labeled “I KNOW YOU’RE ALL SUPERHEROES” in Comic Sans. He recited his mantra a lot when he was around them Cool boyfriend. Good life. Don’t ruin it. But sometimes, it felt like everyone was laughing at him behind his back. Look at Bernard. He can’t even figure out his boyfriend is Red Robin.

They all had so much history life changing, world ending events that Bernard just couldn’t understand. And that was fine. He didn’t need to. He was cool. Chill. He had a good life.
He didn’t need to fit in with Tim’s world. But sometimes... he felt more alone in a room full of heroes than he ever had on his own. Still, Bernard tried. He really did.

He brought pizza down to the houseboat an assortment of flavors, even disgusting ones like pineapple. (Which was, objectively, a war crime.)

Steph was draped across Cass’s lap on the couch, watching her girlfriend destroy Bart in Mario Kart while the speedster’s thumbs moved so fast they blurred. Cassie hovered nearby, yelling at Bart for being a massive cheater. Which he was. And a pineapple on pizza enjoyer. Like a freak.

Tim was at the sink, washing his hands as Kon reached around him to grab paper plates. His hand brushed against the small of Tim’s back to warn him not to step back.
It was intimate. Jealousy coiled in Bernard’s chest. Tight and bitter. But Bernard was cool. So he smiled. He walked in and set the pizza boxes on the counter with dramatic flair.

“I come bearing pizza,” he announced.

Within seconds, Bart zipped over only to freeze when Tim and Cassie shot him warning looks. Clearly, he hadn’t considered Bernard’s presence before moving. Bernard just smiled wider and grabbed a slice of pear pizza.

“Even got some of your freaky pineapple, Bart.”

“Freaky?! You’ve got pear on your pizza!” Bart shouted, stomping over to the boxes.

“I don’t know, Bart. Pear on pizza is kind of delicious,” Steph chimed in, passing Bernard and giving him a high five. “Mr. Dowd here is a culinary genius.”

“Sorry, man. I just have superior taste. You wouldn’t understand,” Bernard said with a shrug, pulling Tim to sit with him on the beat-up armchair they’d found at a Gotham yard sale.

“Can’t argue with a chef,” Tim said, resting his chin on Bernard’s shoulder while Bernard stuck his tongue out at Bart.

Kon sat at their feet, leaning his head against Tim’s leg after finishing his own slice. The jealousy came back hot and sharp but Bernard pushed it down.
Cool boyfriend, Bernard. Very cool. The group chatted and joked, conversation bouncing quickly from one topic to another. Sometimes, Bernard could feel it when someone almost said something too “hero” and had to backtrack with a “LARP camp” cover story or a badly timed “just kidding.” He didn’t want to be Red Robin’s boyfriend. He just wanted to be part of Tim’s life. He didn’t need the costume. He just wanted to be in on the joke. But he was cool. So Bernard kept his mouth shut. He laughed when everyone else laughed. He let himself fade into the background when conversations turned coded. He played the role.

Still, the question lingered; What was his place in all this?

Would Tim be happier with someone like Kon? Probably. Kon wouldn’t need lies or excuses. He wouldn’t get in the way. They shared a whole world Bernard could never touch. Tim and Kon had that superhero shorthand, the kind of love and respect that went deeper than words. Bernard felt like a puzzle piece from the wrong box. Close, but not quite right.

Eventually, it was just Tim, Bernard, and Kon left. Tim and Kon sat on the counter, legs swinging, while Bernard cleaned up around them. Occasionally, their knees bumped. And each time, Bernard felt a little more like an outsider. But he was still enjoying himself. The banter was easy. Joking, teasing, laughing. They made fun of each other’s weird habits, Tim and his old feminist books from Jason, Kon’s Doc Marten obsession, Bernard’s conspiracy theories.

It felt almost normal. Like they were old friends.

But Bernard wasn’t. Not really. So he slipped away, heading to the bathroom to give them some privacy. He sat on the floor. Minute 1, He wanted to cry over a relationship he hadn’t even lost yet. Minute 6, He wanted to go back out and cuddle with Tim, laugh with Kon. Minute 7, He knew when he wasn’t wanted. Minute 8, He missed his mom. Missed crying to her when he felt small. Minute 9, He thought about faking sick and going home. Minute 10, He didn’t want to leave. Not really.

“Bear!” Tim’s voice called from outside. “You okay? You’ve been in there forever.”

“We miss you, man!” Kon added.

“I swear to the gods, Bernard- I will break in there,” Tim threatened, teasing.

Bernard’s heart warmed. He was loved. He was the cool boyfriend. He had the best life.

“Yeah, yeah. Calm your pants,” Bernard called back.

The second he opened the door, a Kryptonian crashed into him. Kon wrapped him in a tight hug, nearly lifting him off the ground. Tim leaned casually against the couch, grinning.

“You can’t leave me alone with him- he’s scary,” Kon fake-whined, squeezing Bernard tighter. If Bernard didn’t know better, he might’ve thought Kon was savoring the hug. Holding him just a little too long. But Bernard did know better.

“Have fun in there?” Tim asked.

“Not too much. Don’t worry,” Bernard said with a smile.

He didn’t feel jealous when Kon pushed Tim onto the couch and collapsed on top of him dragging Bernard down with them. They squirmed and wrestled until Bernard was pressed between Superboy’s chest and Red Robin’s back, Kon’s arm pulling them all together.

They fit perfectly.

5)

Bernard was having a bad night. First, he’d been banished from the marina after Batwoman crash landed on Tim’s boat. Then the chaos monsters came back.
Definitely connected. Definitely Bernard’s nightmare. It all built in his brain, every second stretching longer than the last. He wanted his boyfriend. He wanted to be hugged into Tim’s strong chest and kept there until the end of time. He wanted to disappear into the safest place he knew. Tim’s arms.But Bernard was the cool boyfriend. So he couldn’t call Tim back from being Red Robin just because he needed to feel safe. Batwoman needed Red Robin more than Bernard needed Tim. He was sure of it. It still hurt, though watching the chaos monsters on the news. Watching his worst nightmare unfold on-screen.

The chaos monsters were back.

He couldn’t escape them. So Bernard did what he did best. He punched. He destroyed his punching bag and didn’t care about the neighbors or the noise. Cookies wouldn’t help right now. But fists? Fists might.
Everything felt like it was suffocating him. The fabric of his shirt clinging to his skin. The chain around his neck. His socks. Even the air. Too much. He wanted out. He wanted his boyfriend. The one thing he couldn’t have in that moment.

That’s when he heard it. Movement on the fire escape. Of course. Of course the chaos monsters would come for him. Bernard had basically ruined their entire operation.
Deep breath, he told himself, stepping quietly to the bathroom. He picked up his bat, gripping it tightly, and crept toward the window.

He yanked the curtain aside and swung. The air whooshed past his hands, and his eyes locked onto the figures just outside.

“Robin?!” Bernard screeched, fear bleeding from his voice at the sight of his boyfriend and Batwoman both somehow fine despite falling from the sky not long ago. If Bernard hadn’t been having one of the worst nights of his life, he would’ve laughed at Tim for covering his eyes at the sight of Bernard, shirtless. Even with the white lenses of the mask, Bernard could swear Tim was peeking like he wasn’t allowed to look but really wanted to.

“We- We,” Tim stammered. Bernard smiled faintly at his flustered boyfriend.

“Have some questions for you- About the chaos monsters.”
With that last word, any remaining humor evaporated.

“I heard they were back,” Bernard said, turning back to his punching bag. For Tim, Bernard would break his silence. He would have spilled his guts, handed Tim his heart and hoped it wouldn’t be crushed.
But not like this. Not when there wouldn’t be warm, sweaty hands to hold it gently. Only Kevlar and gloves. Bernard was cool. Chill. But he couldn’t do this with Red Robin. Not with Batwoman watching him like a hawk.

“Bernard? Wait, Bernard. Bernard, I know that was a hard time for you but I need information.” That was a shot straight to the chest. Because Tim did know. He had been there after nightmares, after panic attacks. He knew how deeply that time had scarred Bernard. All Bernard wanted in this moment was Tim. His boyfriend. Not the calm, surgical voice of Red Robin.

“Is there any reason the chaos monsters would want to send me a message?” Another shot. Was it really so much to ask for Tim to admit it? To say the words? Was Bernard that untrustworthy?

“Other than the fact that you stopped them from sacrificing me and got them all arrested?” Bernard was trying. He really was. But everything was collapsing around him.

“Clearly not all of them. But why now? It’s been almost a year since- ”

“Since I died? Since they convinced me the pain would help me feel better? Since I almost let them take my life because I didn’t think I was worth anything?” Bernard wanted to be the cool boyfriend. He tried so hard. But this wasn’t Tim. This was Red Robin.

“Bernard, I- ” For a split second, Bernard thought he’d broken through. But then

“Did one of the leaders have a kid?”

That was it. That was what broke him. The final shot, right to the heart. No matter how clearly Bernard showed he couldn’t talk about that time, Red Robin insisted. Bernard punched the bag. Hard. sending it swinging straight at Red Robin.

“I don’t know anything. I don’t want to know anything. I don’t talk about that time. Not with anyone.” He felt the anger drain out of him. So he said the one thing that might get through

“There’s one good thing that came out of that time. My boyfriend Tim Drake. Otherwise there’s nothing to be said about it.” Bernard was so tired. He just wanted to sleep. The energy was gone.
Then Batwoman’s grappling hook fired landing between him and Tim, forcing the distance. Splitting Tim in two. Turning Tim back into Red Robin. Creating a wall between civilian and vigilante.

“As fun as this is, if you know something tell us. Now.” Batwoman stalked forward. Bernard knew he should’ve been afraid, but he wasn’t. Not anymore. Not like this. Batwoman wasn’t going to break him. Not with the way she treated this like it was just another case, just another tool to extract.

“Bernard! Calm down!” Tim snapped, stepping between them. Bernard was shocked. Tim was defending him. Defending him against Batwoman.

“You do not tell me to calm down. That boy may have the answers that prove I’m not a monster. Get your head out of your ass and help me get the answers.” Bernard didn’t need to see her eyes to recognize the desperation beneath the mask.

“I’m- I’m sorry about this,” Tim said. Bernard didn’t know if the apology was for her or for him.

Then Batwoman was gone, launched out the window by Tim's hook.

Bernard collapsed onto his bed. He didn’t expect Tim to follow. Not for a while. And that was fine. Bernard was a cool boyfriend. He’d find Tim tomorrow. Whether Tim liked it or not.

+1

When Bernard finally crashed down onto Tim’s cozy sofa, he was exhausted. He had fought his worst nightmares and he had come out okay. More importantly, he got Tim back. He was also pretty sure everyone knew he knew. Which was why Bernard had spent the last hour baking cream puffs in Tim’s kitchen, using all of Tim’s fancy gadgets and ingredients. Waiting for Tim to return from the Batcave (stupid name) was painful.

Finally, Bernard heard the telltale sounds footsteps on the roof of the boat, then the soft crash of Tim landing in the bedroom. Bernard waited on the couch. He was already in his Batman pajama bottoms and one of Tim’s old Robin shirts, the logo stretched and faded from wear. Tim slinked into the living room in something more comfortable and immediately curled into Bernard, muscles exhausted from two days of work. Bernard handed him a warm cup of tea and adjusted their position so Tim could rest more comfortably.

“Do we have to talk about it?” Bernard asked softly, threading his fingers through Tim’s damp hair.

“When did you find out?” Tim asked. Right to the point. Bernard’s stomach turned. He wanted to stay like this forever houseboat, couch, cuddles but he knew where this was going.

“I’ve known basically since I met you, honestly. I wasn’t sure at first, but after you saved me from… them, I knew for sure.” He didn’t need to see Tim’s face to read the doubt. Did you date me because I was Robin? Was this all a lie? Bernard continued. “It was never about you being Robin, Timmy. It’s always been about you- every part of you. The good, the bad, and the weird.” He ruffled Tim’s hair and nudged him to sit up across from him on the couch.

“So that means the other night-”

“I knew it was my boyfriend interrogating me like a criminal instead of checking if I was okay? A hundred percent.” Tim dragged a hand over his face.

“Your excuses are garbage,” Bernard said, half-laughing. “There was no way you just ‘went to the bathroom’ on our anniversary.” Tim set his mug down and buried his face in his hands.

“And during the kidnappings?”

“Totally knew.”

“The times I didn’t answer your texts for hours?”

“Absolutely.”

“So you’ve figured out everyone else too?”

“Oh yeah. Not looking forward to my next conversation with Brucie though.” Bernard was full-on laughing at Tim’s expense now. Maybe a little cruel but after a year and a half of being the cool boyfriend, he was just happy to finally be included.

“And you know that Kon is-”

“Superboy.” Bernard cut him off, praying he was right.

“Kon is going to be so mad he got figured out by the guy who told him Superman is secretly a robot.”

“That was some of my best work! The look on his face? Hilarious.” Bernard cackled. The anxiety, the fear, the exclusion, the insecurity melted away. Tim kept firing off questions, and Bernard kept answering. For once, he didn’t feel like he was walking a tightrope.

“You are the coolest boyfriend,” Tim whispered, curling into Bernard’s lap and guiding Bernard’s hand back into his hair.

“I know.”

They sat like that for a while. Just breathing. Laughing.

“I’m sorry,” Tim whispered.

“For what?”

“I always put Red Robin first. I never really thought about it before, but when I was getting captured by the chaos monsters it hit me. I didn’t even consider how you felt. I just assumed you’d be fine, because you always are. I’m sorry. Really.” A part of Bernard, the part that had been begging to be seen, healed a little.

“I get it. It’s part of you. You’re not just my hero.” Bernard squeezed Tim closer.

“I love you so much,” Tim murmured. “You make my life worth living.”

“I know. I’m the coolest boyfriend,” Bernard said, grinning. “And I love you too.”

He wouldn’t need his mantra tonight.

Not anymore.

-

Chapter Text

Listen, Bernard had gotten over the jealousy, like, for real. He no longer felt the coiled jealousy that burned like fire inside his chest, the coil had unwrapped. Now he was just pissed having to watch the two powerful superheroes capable of protecting the Earth from threat after threat awkwardly dance around each other like they weren’t in love with each other. Bernard loved them both, he drank in any time they were all together, but watching Tim and Kon awkwardly try and pretend they weren’t totally in love was going to send Bernard to an early grave. How it was possible those two had never kissed before he didn’t know, but it was killing him.

So Bernard did what any self-respecting internet sleuth would. He opened google and searched “How to make my boyfriend realize he is in love with his best friend” google did not supply a good answer. He tried to scroll through to find something, only to get articles telling him his boyfriend was cheating. Then he tried googling “polyamory” once again google was useless while the info was good as he was rather uneducated on the topic other than the fact he knew it existed. Bernard was disappointed in the recommendations for suggesting polyamory to a partner. Most sites just suggested he communicate his feelings.

Bernard wasn’t the one who needed this. Sure, he spent an unreasonable amount of time staring down Kon’s arms, and damn, the things the leather jacket did to him were unimaginable, but Bernard was cool, and chill, so he knew an incredible smoking hot, buff as Hercules, kind as well Superman guy would never like him as more than a good friend. He was however sure that a guy like that could love his mind melting, smart as Sherlock, charismatic as Han Solo boyfriend. They had so much in common they were perfect for each other. Bernard was very willing to share even if in the end Tim realized Bernard was the weak link and broke up with him as a result. Bernard was willing to risk it if it meant Tim could be happy.

So he tried google one last time a new idea sparking in his mind. “How to set up my friend with their crush.” Bingo. Do’s and Don’ts of setting up your friends. The website was pink and sparkling, clearly marketed at teenage girls plotting to help a friend or just read something entertaining. Bernard knew it was perfect no one was smarter than a plotting teenage girl.

Do: Orchestrate Hang Outs
Do: Use Openings to Talk About It
Don’t: Be a Third wheel

Bernard could do those, he would do anything for Tim. Bernard was starting to think he would do anything for Kon too. He whipped out his phone copying the website’s suggestions into his notes app. He would set them up if it was the last thing he did.

- Do: Orchestra Hang Outs -

Bernard was a good planner. He had to be given he was a paramedic dating Tim Drake. It wasn’t easy setting everything up and making plans for them. He prided himself on the organization skills he had gained over the last year, and a bit. And Bernard was gonna use them as best he could. It started with finding the perfect location for them to meet. Which should (in theory) be easy, but Gotham was sometimes a little too Gotham. So a list was created of every potential date spot that existed in Bernard’s brain.

Park? No, Ivy’s pollen was too big a risk.
Restaurant? Absolutely not, somehow low level goons always managed to find Tim and blackmail him there.
Mini golf? Not with the king of over competitiveness Tim Drake.
Bar? Too loud to follow through on the second “Do”.
Movie Theatre? Too quiet.

That was it. Not just a movie theatre a drive-in theatre! It was perfect the cozy atmosphere, the movie playing in the background, the snacks. Gotham wasn’t exactly known for its outdoor venues, but when he was little Bernard’s grandfather had taken him out to see Finding Nemo at a drive-in just outside the city, and it was increadible.

Bernard could remember the stale smell of the car like it was yesterday. His grandfather had died a year later, it was a memory Bernard held close as insults and complaints were hurled outside his bedroom door. So when Bernard was feeling down sometimes he would pull the fluffy bright red blanket his grandfather had bought him for that night out of his closet and wrap himself in it. The warm fluff of the bright blanket soothed his skin when everything else felt like needles. It had been months since Bernard had last pulled it from the top shelf of his closet. With Tim to soothe the needles. But Bernard was sure he would be using the blanket again soon. Tim would eventually realize Bernard wasn’t worth the effort especially when he had Kon.

Bernard had searched for a day with a calm and nostalgic movie finally finding the perfect one for Tim and Kon. The Parent Trap (1998) was playing as a rerun on October 14th. The weather would be perfect, and the movie was both relevant to the situation and a classic. If Bernard was sure of one thing it was that Kon loved romcoms and Tim loved ‘90s nostalgia. If it also happened to be one of Bernard’s favourite films as well, no one would know. Sure, Bernard loved watching Tim pull his hair out over a case he solved in seconds while the Criminal Minds detectives struggled. Especially, on rainy nights when he wasn’t on patrol, and he had become an American football addict since Kon had left a game on after falling asleep on Tim’s couch, but there was something about a light hearted movie about family that appealed to Bernard’s inner child.

Two weeks was probably enough time to get Tim to take the time off from work and patrols. It was definitely enough time to get Kon to catch up on his assignments for Metropolis U. Bernard just had to ensure Isla could call him in for help, saying they needed extra help. Being a Gotham EMT was brutal, but sometimes the horrible hours came in handy. Getting called in randomly was not something new, though saying yes might be. Bernard was good at his job which was rare given no EMT wanted to face the streets. So he got called in sometimes way more than he would like so he got used to saying no. Work life balance was important. But this time he would say yes. They really could always use the help, even with all hands on deck.

The plans were coming together slowly but surely. It took some begging to get Tim to do as he was told for sure, but Tim’s weakness was Bernard’s deep brown eyes, and Bernard would weaponize them whenever necessary. Bernard had entered three reminders into Tim’s phone. He couldn’t miss the perfect chance to force his boyfriend to kiss Kon. Kon was even easier to convince just casually bringing it up and extending an invite was more than enough. The most difficult part of the plan was finding the perfect getaaway moment. He obviously had too be there at the start, but he couldn’t leave halfway through he loved the movie to much for that. He had to leave just before it started or he would get sucked in and accidentally tell Isla no. Bernard would have to be the cool, chill guy he was, and leave the most important people in his life to wallow at his job. Unfortunate, but necessary. He would do it for Tim. For them.

- Do: Use Openings to Talk About It -

Finally, the night had arrived. After two weeks of plotting and planning for every event Bernard, Tim, and Kon loaded up into Bruce’s vintage 1959 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz Convertible with piles of cozy blankets, pillows and notably Kon’s red bat squishmellow. They were speeding down the streets of Gotham while Bernard and Kon in their matching red hoodies clutched each other for dear life. Tim spent far too much time driving the Batmobile, and as a result was the most reckless driver even as a citizen so normally they would take public transport. Unfortunately all Bernard and Kon could do that night was pray Tim wouldn’t crash.

Eventually, Tim managed to park safely at The Starlight, Gotham’s premier (only) drive-in theatre. Rushing out the car door to feel the safe ground beneath them Bernard and Kon lamented Tim’s awful driving.

“Timbo, I love you man, but I swear you’re gonna kill us one day” Kon said, holding onto Bernard protectively.

“I wouldn’t” Tim grumbled, flipping to the proper radio station.

“Whatever you say Timmy” Bernard pushed into Kon, savouring the feel of the arms around his neck. Bernard would never admit to the comfort that Kon’s arms around him brought. It was his secret something that could never be said aloud.

“I hate you two” Tim joked as he pushed himself out of the vehicle, making his way to the store covered in 50’s style decor. It was all very tacky, but the atmosphere was perfect. The three boys walked towards the building Tim grabbing Bernard’s hand tightly and squeezing. Bernard gave Tim his best attempt at a soft, loving smile before grabbing Kon’s hand and swinging both his arm’s aggressively dragging Tim and Kon with as he skipped towards the snacks.

“Come on you slow pokes, ya think two buff guys would be faster walkers” Bernard called pulling at their arms, still swinging them. The inside of the snack bar was just as hideous baby blue paint covered the walls, cracking at the edges. A teenage employee stood in front of the cash, looking incredibly bored.

“What can I get for you?” she asked, beginning to type something into the ancient looking computer.

“We’ll get three medium slurpees please, and-” Tim was cut off by Kon throwing an armful of candy and chocolate onto the counter causing the girl to snap out of her daze.

“And those I guess” Tim finished before whacking Kon in his chest. As he pulled out his wallet to pay. Kon beat him to the punch whipping out a black card clearly from Luthor to pay first.

“Victory is mine” Kon whispered into Tim’s ear, just loud enough for Bernard to hear. Tim blushed bright red.

“That wasn’t winning. That was- tactical generosity” Tim tried giving a confident look even as his face still burned. Bernard saw the perfect opening, the one he had been waiting for all night.

“Looking a little red, huh Timmmy” Bernard gave Tim a checky smirk, his best “who me” look. Tim just looked down at Bernard’s comment. Perfect, Bernard thought. The plan was coming together, now he just needed to make sure Tim got that he was okay with it, and make his great escape definitely with the slurpee. He just needed Kon out of the way for a bit before his plan could come to fruition. The cashier was looking seriously over their antics.

“Enjoy the movie” she said looking behind them as a line slowly formed.

“Let’s go kiddies” Bernard dragged the two others out the doors back to the car. Before they could grab straws. The perfect excuse. He was quite proud of himself for his quick thinking. Turning his sad eyes onto Kon, he asked,

“Aw man we forgot to grab straws. Would you mind grabbing some for us Kon” begging just enough.

“Uh- Yeah, totally. Of course man” Kon stumbled a bit when Bernard went to brush his fingers through Kon’s hair, pushing it out of his eyes. As Kon walked back to get some straws from the cashier Bernard turned to Tim.

“Just so you know Tim if you ever wanted to you know, date Kon too, or something I would be cool with it. Or someone else. It’s just you blush a lot around him. Yeah. So if you ever wanted to I would be cool with it” Bernard tried playing it like a chil,l unbothered guy, but internally he was not doing okay. And externally he was not doing great either. Tim just deadpanned him. Not a thought behind his eyes.

“Tim?” he asked

“Wait. Bernard. You’re serious? Like... I get that our… night jobs are the same, but I would never even think about che-”

“No. No. I know you aren’t cheating on me or anything. It’s just like you get the same heart eyes you have with me for him. So like if you want the best of both worlds or something that would be cool” Bernard well and truly had no idea how to phrase this like a cool chill boyfriend. There was a long pause before Tim finally responded. Bernard felt his heart beating in his ears, his pulse racing under his skin threatening to break through.

“If you’re sure, I maybe have had feelings for him, but I really wouldn’t tr-”

“No Tim you should! Tonight. Yes, it’s perfect. Even if I’m not here you should really-”

“Okay but what do you mean not he-” Before Tim could get off the last part of his sentence Kon came running back up.

“Dude, you should’ve seen this lady. It was like straight up meltdown mode. This kid wanted a slushie and his mom went crazy over the price. I thought she was gonna start breathing fire or something” Kon started making a little exploding motion with his hands.

“You two just love interrupting me don’t you” Tim whinned, poking at Bernard’s cheek as he spoke.

“Oh yeah basically our hobby, right, Bern” Kon began draping himself over Bernard, pulling him back towards his chest.

“Oh absolutely” Bernard stated, as he leaned back into the comforting warmth. That’s when he noticed the time Isla would call in one minute to help him with his escape, then pull up in the ambulance for his “surprise” shift. Bernard had seriously begged his captain for this one, but it’d be worth it, his plan really came together. All his goals had been accomplished. Only one was left. The most important one.

- Don’t: Be a Third wheel -

A ringing sounded from Bernard’s phone causing Kon to lightly push him up allowing Bernard to answer.

“Hey, Isla. Gimme a sec.” Bernard tried his best to sound shocked at the phone call from his co-worker on his night off. Bernard climbed into the back seat with the grace of a worm. Eventually, Tim helped him push his legs over. He tried giving off the energy of “Tim you should kiss Kon”, but it didn’t matter anyway his plan would soon be successful. “Okay what’s goin’ on”

“Sup asshole, your chauffeur has arrived. By chaffeur, I mean it’s job time as requested. Hope that’s clear” Bernard was praying Kon was being respectful and not listening to his private conversation.

“Yeah, Isla, I got it. Don’t worry, it can’t be helped” Bernard tried his best to sound sincere. He could still feel insecurity, and jealousy bubbling up. He knew this was it. Most likely one of the last times he would get to kiss his boyfriend goodbye, or even call him that. He wouldn’t be surprised if he woke up the next day with a breakup text or phone call. Maybe Tim would pity him with a break up in person. Bernard felt his face fall. He recovered quickly pushing a mask onto his face, his usual bright smile. “Yeah, see you soon okay” Bernard hung up.

“I’m so so sorry. That was Isla. Something came up and they need me” Bernard gave Tim a hug around the neck and a kiss on the cheek savouring the feel of Tim against him just for a moment, feeling the heat he radiated and absorbing it. Then he moved to Kon fussing with his hair a little bit before squeezing his shoulder and exiting the car with a quick wave as Tim and Kon stayed frozen.

“Wait Bear-” Bernard walked faster, missing what Tim began to say as he left the cinema, going faster and faster as he moved towards Isla and the ambulance. Jumping in the back and quickly putting on the uniform he had left in the back.

“Go, go, go!” Bernard called to Isla.

“I’m going, I’m going! God kids these days, so disrespectful” Isla yelled back shaking her head.

“Whatever” Bernard slumped into the back as he finished putting on his uniform. He could feel tears burning at the back of his eyes. He wanted to bawl. To let the tears fall as he rolled away further and further from Tim and Kon. He wanted to go back desperately, to feel Kon’s warm arms around him, to have Tim whispering words of comfort against his shoulder. He could practically already feel the vibration of a break up text. He wanted to be home. Instead he was in the back of a sterile ambulance surrounded by instruments to heal any wound other than his.

It hadn’t been nearly long enough when Bernard felt the ambulance screech to a halt. His eyes shot up just catching Isla’s head disapear from the window to the front as he heard a scream. The doors swung open. Not again, he thought as two men in purple suits stood blocking his exit. Bernard wasn’t one to swear, but in that moment, he meant it when he said

“Fuck”

The first man took a swing with his bat at Bernard causing him to duck out of the way. Bernard took the momentary confusion in turn, sweeping the legs of the man out from under him. Earning him a quick grunt and causing the bat to roll away. Goon #1 recovered quickly, going for a weak punch at Bernard. Bernard barely managed to catch the hand twisting it hard when he did. This time, Goon #1 crashed into the ground slamming his head into the floor of the ambulance. Bernard kicked at Goon #1’s head quickly sending him into a deep sleep.

‘“Shit!” he yelled out at Goon #2 came at him swinging the bat just before Bernard could recover from the shock of knocking out Goon #1. He let out one last groan before the other side of his head was hit by the bat and everything went dark.

- Do: Communicate? -

As he woke up memories of his last kidnapping flashed before him as he sighed. It was an incredibly inopportune moment for this. He was sure eventually the Bats would be called, given it was an ambulance from his station. So they probably would have received notice that Bernard was gone too, but Bernard couldn’t have Tim or Kon coming. He wasn’t even sure if they would. Kon wouldn’t be listening if Bernard called for him. His focus was surely on Tim (as it should be), not on Bernard calling for help, and Tim wouldn’t have his coms on not if he was sitting in Kon’s lap (as he should be. If Bernard could he would too). So it was bound to be a rough, lonely night with what Bernard was sure was at least a grade 2 concussion. The world was just beginning to spin back out into darkness when Bernard saw light drift into the room from a door. A figure cloaked in darkness approached. “Well, well, well aren’t you going to make a hilarious punch line!” the Joker strolled into the room his bleached skin coming into view shining brilliantly in the dark room. Bernard felt his stomach do several flips as the Joker’s prop cane came to rest under his chin.

“You have been helping the Red Boy Wonder far too much for my liking you see, then it came to me a flash of genius if I do say so myself, and I do. You would make the perfect lure for the bothersome boy and where Gotham’s young heroes go so does the Bat. Then I strike! Of course, before they can meet their end, you must meet yours. You have saved them, healed them, and they won’t be able to save you. Now isn’t that poetic” The Joker seemed to be almost waiting for Bernard to respond before deciding he didn’t care and continuing

“Now, nowm I hope I’m not boring you” Bernard tried not to respond holding his head high even if it was forced by the cane.

“Just can’t wait to get to the punch line, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll speed things up for you!” he punctuated his speech by hitting Bernard in the chest with the cane. The air was knocked out of him the darkness seeping into the corners of his eyes. He felt groan, after groan come out of his mouth as he was beaten senseless. The Joker didn’t stay long though. He lit up at the words coming out of a Goon’s mouth. Bernard couldn’t quite make out what was being said, but the Joker seemed to light up at whatever it was.

The Joker’s place was taken by the goon who Bernard had lovingly gifted the name Goon #3. The man walked up to him. Looming over Bernards crumpled body. Goon #3 pulled a switch blade from his pocket. As the spots continued to come into Bernards view each second felt like a millennium to his lethargic brain. He could feel something warm on his stomach. Bernard really just wanted Kon and Tim. Tim and Kon. He could feel himself falling apart with every strike. Eventually Goon #3 was called out of the room too. Bernard was left in the dark lying tied up on the ground.

He lost himself in dark letting it consume him fully. It seeped into his soue as the blood left. He could only hope Batman had arrived. He hoped Tim and Kon were okay tucked together in the front seat of the fancy car. Bernard wished he was tucked between cuddling with Kon’s squishmellow and sitting under the horrific bright red blanket he had left with them. It was fuzzy and warm, but so ugly. It was like Bernard nice for a time, but eventually, you outgrow it, and have to tuck it into a random drawer never to be seen again or thrown out. It was where he belonged he could never be Kon strong, handsome, and charismatic. He just wanted his favourite people together. He wished he could be there too, but he didn’t belong he was sure of it. He just wasn’t like them. Never would be. It was just sometimes he wished he was.

“Bern!” Kon’s voice rang out from the door. The light from what Bernard assumed was a hallway illuminating two figures in the doorway. Kon clearly using his superspeed rushed up to him locking him in a tight hug. Bernard smiled into Kon’s warm shoulder.

“Bear!” Tim was running at full speed to him as well crashing in just as hard. The two of them were wrapped tightly around him. Bernard brought his arms up to brush against the other two, proving they were real.

“Shouldn’t be here” Bernard whispered, the darkness closing in again. The world threatening to disappear again.

“Of course, we should be man! Tim loves you” Kon stopped his sentence, clearly having more to say but stopping short. Bernard just stared up at him smiling slightly while Tim cut the bindings “I love you” Kon whispered to him.

“Why” Bernard whispered back, the world was spinning around Kon. He was like the gravity to Bernards world holding everything together. When things slipped away Kon was there to pull them back in.

“Why! You’re bright and funny and gorgeous. You love deeper than anyone else in the world. I could only ever hope to be with someone so incredible. I would spend my life on a planet filled with kryptonite if it meant I would be with you and Tim.” Kon’s words filled his heart to the brim. Bernard desperately wanted to tell Kon he wasn’t worth that. He didn’t deserve Kon’s love and he didn’t deserve Tim’s love. He wanted to tell them to leave, to go be together, to be happy. He wanted to save them from him. Instead he told the two boys staring at him in a pool of blood

“I’m scarred. Don’t want to be in the dark again” then he was back in the void of dark. It was surrounding him and holding him tight.

-

Eventually, he was freed from the binds of the void. The darkness that surrounded him, dissipated. The light broke through. He pushed his eyes open to see Tim on one side and Kon on the other, now in civilian clothes Kon’s leather jacket was wrapped around Tim who was fast asleep in a hospital chair.

“Bern!” Kon shot up his eyes no longer half lidded and instead wide and alert shooting to each part of Bernard’s body. “Man, I was horrified. You can’t just like do that. We need you”

“Sorry” Bernard tried to respond, the words getting caught in his throat from lack of use. Kon quickly brought a cup of water from his bedside up to his lips.

“Drink” Kon told him. Bernard gulped down most of the cup before adjusting in the bed and trying again.

“I’m sorry,” This time the words came out how he intended.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault Joker is crazy about getting to Batman. I just can’t believe we almost lost you.” Kon was hesitating again. Building up the courage for something big. “I know what you told Tim, but this thing between me and him isn’t at the expense of you. I would love to date Tim, but I’m not going to unless you’re part of that deal. I want- no, I need you just as much as I need him”

“Are you sure? I know I’m different from you and him.”

“Am I sure? I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life!” As Kon raised his voice, Tim woke up from his deep sleep.

“You really need to stop getting kidnapped, Bear. These hospital chairs are not comfortable” Tim grabbed Bernards hand, kissing his wrist lightly “Has Kon talked to you yet?”

“Um, I guess” Bernard wasn’t really sure where this ended.

“Bear why would you just leave the drive-in like that. I talked to Kon like you said, but we came to the same conclusion. We don’t work without you. You’re our glue” Tim was clearly still a little asleep, but Bernard knew Tim, and he could tell he was totally sincere.

“Really?” Bernard could feel the hope bubbling up in his chest. He tried to push it down, but it just kept rising.

“Really.” Kon confirmed with a seriousness Bernard wasn’t yet used to from him. This was what he dreamed of. The moment when he would feel Kon’s strong arms, and Tim’s soft hair, and it would be okay. The hope and light had consumed his soul and as his boys wrapped around him lightly, he laughed. This was his home. He wasn’t scared when the darkness surrounded him once more knowing he would wake up protected and loved.