Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Near was fully aware of his smarts in Whammy’s house. He knew that was why he hadn’t been adopted yet, he was too tied to Whammy’s. They needed him in a way. He was one of the smartest and the smartest weren’t really allowed to be adopted but Near had long since grown accustomed to that fact. He didn’t need anyone to support him, he had done just fine before. 

Near sat on a couch at the window as he watched a group of kids, a few years older than him, playing kick ball. His lips curled slightly, watching as one kid dove to the ground and slid in the dirt. It was still muddy, spring just beginning to take hold of the earth. He could never let his clothes get so dirty, being sprayed down by the shower head fully clothed was so humiliating for him. Why wasn’t it the same for everyone?
He pushed those thoughts away and looked down at his lap. He had been working on a particularly interesting puzzle for the past few days. This was his fifth time re-doing it. He’d need to ask Roger for some new puzzles soon. It was easy for him to get stuff since he had zero behavioral issues and anything he wanted could be used for ‘educational purposes.’ Being the favorite wasn’t too bad if he ignored the isolation. He shifted the puzzle board on his lap, sliding another piece into place with a satisfying click. He could ever so faintly hear the sounds of the other children around him as he slipped into his own world.

“Ugh, my fucking clothes!” A sharp voice complained, slamming the door so hard that it jostled Near’s place on the couch. He frowned as a few of his puzzle pieces were scattered slightly. He plucked one from falling between the couch cushions. Near looked over his shoulder, spotting the back of Mello’s familiar blond head. Even with his dark clothes, Near could see the mud dripping off the fabric as Matt circled around him, holding a piece of candy between his lips. He had recently had his cigarettes confiscated by Roger so he was left to pretend he was smoking with various candy.

Near shifted to the side slightly, trying to get a better look at Mello’s distress about his clothes. Maybe he should have been more careful, Near thought. He looked back down at his puzzle as he listened to Mello shout at Matt.

“Matt, go-! Go get Roger, why won’t you?!” He snapped, swinging a fist into Matt’s forearm when the other boy didn’t move fast enough for his liking.

“I’m going, I’m going. Calm down, Mels.” Matt huffed, stuffing his hands into his jean pockets as he stalked off to find Rodger. Mello made a disgusted sound and he tried to wipe the mud off his front, flinging it all onto the hardwood floors. Near stares quietly, scrunching up his expression. No one here had any regard for cleanliness. 

“The fuck you looking at?” Mello snapped. Near blinked. Sometimes he couldn’t even look in Mello’s direction without getting yelled at. There was a reason Mello was always second place to him.

“Your dirtiness.” Near spoke calmly, knowing that Mello wouldn’t cross the floor to try and hit him. He would get in more trouble for dirtying the carpets surrounding Near than he would for hitting Near. Mello was visibly fuming.

“It’s not my fault! Some punk pushed me into the ditch!” He spoke, voice elevated but not yet yelling. Near kept his expression neutral.

“Try playing nicer.” He advised. Mello glared at him.

“I suggest you watch your tongue or I’ll rip it out the second I’m clean.” He snarls. Near hummed and stared at Mello for a few seconds longer. 

“Alright.” He says, shrugging. Mello grumbled, falling silent when he heard the telltale sounds of footsteps.

It was Roger and Matt. Matt grinned at Mello and started smothering the blond’s face with a fluffy towel to get off the excess mud. Mello tried to swat his hands away, not enjoying being babied. 

“How’d you get yourself in this situation now, Mello?” Roger spoke, slightly displeased, “Here, here, stand on this.” A towel was thrown onto the ground for Mello, who stepped onto it and shuffled his feet to mop up any excess mud on the ground. Near watched as Mello was ushered away toward one of the bathrooms. He leaned back and went back to his puzzle for a few minutes before curiosity got the better of him.

He lifted his puzzle board up to stand, holding it gently as he walked toward the bathroom. He was quiet, always gentle-footed.

As he approached the bathroom, he could hear Mello’s protests and the sounds of the shower as he neared the bathroom. He peeked his head around the door frame, spotting Mello standing in the bathtub as he was hosed down with the shower head. He did not look happy about it one bit. Matt leaned against the bathroom counter, watching with contentment as Mello complained.

“Agh, fuck! It’s cold! Turn up the temperature!” Mello snapped, trying to shield himself from the cold water. Roger sighed and lowered the shower head so he could turn up the temperature for Mello to stop complaining.

“Well, you know what they say, cold showers are rejuvenating.” Matt chimed in with a stupid grin. Mello shot him a glare.

“Do you even know what that word means?” He spoke, crossing his arms. Matt crossed his arms back and huffed.

“I’m not that stupid, y’know?” He retorts. Mello rolls his eyes, being distracted when Roger tells him to turn around to wash off his back. That’s when Near took his chance to actually slip into the room, standing next to Matt. Matt cast him a quick glance before ruffing Near’s hair.

“Hey, squirt.” He says, switching the piece of candy hanging out of his mouth to the other side. Near hummed in reply, putting his puzzle board onto the sink so he wouldn’t drop it in this tight space. Despite the amount of kids at Whammy’s house, not a lot of rooms were necessarily big, especially not the bathrooms. Maybe it was to stop other children from getting handsy with each other once they became the age to start exploring that. Though, Near watched so many kids get adopted or sent to other orphanages if they weren’t smart enough that that theory seemed improbable. The oldest kids currently were Mello and Matt, anyone that was older moved out of Whammy’s the second they could. Near couldn’t blame them honestly, he wasn’t too fond of this place either but it was all he had.

“What happened to Mello?” Near asked quietly, even though he already had a pretty good idea. Matt chuckled at the memory, trying not to burst out laughing like he probably did when it happened.

“Oh, a bunch of the younger kids dog-piled Mello into the mud. It was so fucking funny, you should have been there to see it.” He said, a grin threatening to spread across his face. Mello whipped around.

“Will you shut the fuck up!?” He snaps, grabbing onto the shower head and wrenching it from Roger’s hands. Near sputtered and tried to take a step back as a jet of water connected with his face. Matt cackled as he jumped off to the side, pressing his back against the other wall.

“Mello!” Roger chided, quickly shutting off the shower. He sighed with relief and let the shower head drop. Now Mello, Near, and the floor was soaked. Near was not happy. He did not enjoy being wet, especially not when he was clothed. It made him uncomfortable.

“My puzzle!” He suddenly exclaimed, turning around to find his puzzle equally soaked if not more. This was one of his favorites and now it was going to get all moldy. He frowned deeply. Matt was still chuckling as he leaned over Near’s shoulder to see what happened to Near’s puzzle.

“And you’re next, Matt.” Mello spoke, making a dive for the shower head. Matt yelped when his back was suddenly soaked as well, falling forward against Near like he had been gunned down with bullets. Near let out a sound as his ribs were pressed against the edge of the counter. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a shaky breath. Ouch.

Luckily, Mello had the shower head confiscated from him yet again and was ushered out of the tub. He was made to stand on a towel again and had another wrapped around his body. The only issue was now everyone was soaked.

-

Near, Mello, and Matt sat beside each other on the bed, wrapped in blankets to dry off. Near was cold, upset he was wrapped into this mess. Mello was particularly quiet, sulking to himself as Matt helped dry his hair.

“Oh, it’s okay, Mels. You’ll dry off soon enough.” Matt soothed. Near frowned and looked down at his puzzle board he was patting dry. He had freaked out a little and thrown his puzzle away. He regretted it now but he’d just be on his best behavior and then ask for a new one.

“This is all Near’s fault!” Mello suddenly snapped, shoving Matt the best he could without the blanket wrapped around him falling off. Matt let himself fall back onto the bed. He at least got to keep his pants on when they had been stripped of their clothes since the water had only sprayed on his back really.

“I didn’t do anything and you know that.” Near replies, not even bothering to look up from his puzzle board. He was not in the mood to pester or be pestered by Mello. Mello grumbled.

“I hate you. Actually, you’re in our room so why don’t you leave? The air will be clearer without you here.” He spoke. Near finally looked up at him, staring at him for a good ten seconds silently before standing.

“With pleasure.” He spoke before leaving. 

Sometimes, he couldn’t find it in him to bother with Mello. Nothing he said would get through his thick skull sometimes. Near found Mello’s anger with him annoying. He had never necessarily done anything to Mello other than being better academically. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t slack as often as Mello did. He actually focused on his studies and training rather than playing

“Gosh, I hate him. He’s always so stuck up.” Mello complains, flopping onto the bed and pulling the blankets around him tighter. Matt hummed and shifted to lay next to Mello, facing him instead of mirroring Mello by lying on his back. Matt stared at Mello, listening to him talk. He’d always let him rant when he needed to. He knew how Mello thought, how Mello processed things, and he’d always be there by his side to help him through his moments.

“Yeah, I know.” Matt spoke, tracing a finger against the edge of Mello’s blanket. He wasn’t exactly not touching him but he wasn’t touching him either. It was a mix between the both, something he found himself doing constantly. He wasn’t exactly crushing on Mello, they were just really close. Right?

“He thinks he’s so fucking smart because he’s the ‘most gifted at Whammy’s’, no the fuck he’s not!” Mello ranted, throwing his hands up. Matt nodded along, murmuring words of agreement as Mello went on. Did he really think Near was stuck up and egotistical like Mello said? No, but he didn’t mind agreeing with Mello. He was closer with Mello than Near so what was the point?

“And he’s always looking down on me. I’m sick of it! I’m sick of him! I can be just as smart as him!” Mello continued, sitting up suddenly. He held the blankets around his shoulders and stomped over to his wardrobe. He kept talking as he grabbed his clothes, dressing himself. Matt stood and grabbed a shirt for Mello, helping him get dressed.

“In fact, I’ll pull an all-nighter tonight! I’ll study all night! I have to work to be better.” Mello declared. Matt nodded along.

“Careful. You don’t want to tire yourself out. You’ll never beat Near if you’re sleeping through our exams.” He said jokingly, smiling slightly. Mello rolled his eyes.

“I won’t. I’m not stupid, Matt. Just be ready to make me coffee, okay?” He says, crossing his arms with a smirk. Matt nodded and saluted, pretending to stand at attention.

“Aye, aye, captain.” He said before laughing, not able to keep the strict posture for long. Even Mello cracked a small chuckle.

-

Matt believed he’d always be at Mello’s side. They had clicked almost instantly, meeting when Matt had gotten in trouble for smoking and Mello was in trouble for hitting Near again. They had spent the entire detention period whispering to each other and hoped that they wouldn’t be caught. After that, they had been inseparable. Sometimes, Mello would even sneak some cigarettes for him. He’d always complain that cigarettes were bad for Matt and yet still gave them over.

Matt hummed as he slipped into the darkened library, a pot of freshly brewed pot of coffee in his hands. He weaved around bookshelves until he found the corner Mello was sitting at. They had pushed some desks together into a dark corner of the library so he could have a bigger space.

“Hey, Mello.” Matt spoke, making his presence known. Mello didn’t even look up from his book, holding his cup up for Matt to refill it.

“Bossy much, hm? Can’t even say hi back.” Matt jokes, filling up Mello’s cup obediently. He set the pot down on one of the few free spots on the desk before leaning against Mello’s chair.

“I talk to you all the time.” Mello spoke, pen scratching along the paper as he studied any topic he could. Matt smirked to himself, rummaging through his pockets.

“Wait, Mello. I raided the cupboards. I got you something.” He says, gleeful pulling out a chocolate bar he found that was normally given out as rewards for the younger children. He tossed it onto desk, falling onto Mello’s text book. Mello paused for a second, setting down both his coffee mug and pen to pick up the sweet treat.

“Oh. Thanks. I guess.” He murmured, side-eying Matt. Matt grinned at him. He could tell Mello was never quite used to getting gifts, especially not from Matt. They had never been super affectionate with each other despite being so close so it was always somewhat awkward when either of them gifted things to the other.

It was quiet, eerily so. It was not often Mello nor Matt were outside of their room at this time. They normally spent the nights huddled together under the blankets, talking about anything that crossed their mind. Hell, Matt even put his cigarettes down for those moments. Matt looked down as Mello wrote, trying not to make his staring obvious. Mello’s handwriting was slightly sloppier than usual, not enough to take away the distinctiveness that was so uniquely Mello. He must be writing quicker than usual or sleep was finally getting to him.

Matt looked away, patting his pockets to remember where he had put the cigarettes he had found. It was the same pack that had gotten confiscated earlier this week. Roger was really slacking on hiding items from Matt nowadays. Did he not understand Matt was getting older and smarter? Either way, it worked in Matt’s favor.

“Hey, Mels. Got a lighter?” He asks, tapping Mello’s shoulder. Mello rolled his eyes and nodded, pulling out the fancy lighter. It was something he had stolen from a store during a field trip. Matt liked it. It had a nice weight to it and a lovely design of an Ace of Spades. Matt liked running his fingers over it while he smoked. His favorite part was Mello’s initials which were carved onto the bottom. He had given Mello a switch blade for his birthday once which had been used to carve into the lighter. Probably one of the only times it had been used so far. Sometimes Mello would threaten kids with it and get it confiscated but they’d always get it back. It was important.

“Thanks.” Matt said, grabbing it from Mello as he walked to the window. Thankfully Whammy’s house hadn’t been smart enough to invest in detectors for his smoking so as long as he was careful, he got away with it most days.

Pushing open a window, he opened the pack with his teeth, exacting a cigarette the same way. The long craved click of a lighter satisfying his ears. He really liked Mello’s lighter. His thumb traced the outline of the spade in the middle of the lighter before lighting his cigarette.

“You better not get us caught with the stench of that shit.” Mello chimed in, looking over his shoulder, “If we get detention because of you again, I’m lighting you on fire while you sleep.” Matt grinned at his words, tossing an unlit cigarette at Mello with his free hand. He took an over dramatic drag of the one in his mouth. Mello huffed, glaring at Matt before turning back toward his work again.

“It's not my fault I wanna relax. You’re lucky I don’t get withdrawal symptoms.” He jokes, exhaling out the window. As the silence returned, Matt thought he should have brought his gameboy with him to this late night study session. It’s not like he was the one obsessed with Near. He could be working on beating his high scores. It would have been much more interesting than staring at the back of Mello’s head.

Either way, he stayed the whole night, refilling Mello’s coffee and cracking unwanted jokes. He liked nights like these, being able to stay close to Mello and pester him. He felt lucky being so close to Mello. He was special in a way, the only one Mello ever dared to let close even if it wasn’t as close as Matt preferred. He was winning at the end.

Chapter Text

Matt had coaxed Mello away from the library around four in the morning. He knew once the sun started to come up that people would start waking up. It had taken him a little but Mello had finally agreed when Matt had threatened to burn him with a cigarette. Actually, Matt had accidentally burned a small hole through the screen in the window. It wasn’t on purpose, not at all, and had spooked Matt quite a bit that he had put down the cigarettes. Four were fine for one night. It wasn’t like he was an avid smoker.

Nine A.M. was when Matt woke up, the time his body just naturally awoke. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, immediately looking over to his side where Mello’s laid. He was still asleep, hugging onto one of the extra pillows the pair had stashed in their bed. Each bed in Whammy’s house had two pillows and they had acquired four. Two for each of them.

Matt smiled down at Mello, reaching forward to brush a strand of hair out of Mello’s face and behind his ear. He let out a soft sigh and stood, cracking his back.

“Mello. Hey, Mels.” Matt says, shaking Mello’s shoulder. Is it possible he’d get socked in the face for waking Mello up? Yes, but he didn’t care. Mello groaned and swatted at Matt’s hand, rolling over to the other side.

“Shut up.” He complained. Matt laughed and pulled on Mello’s arm, hard enough to wrench the other male into a sitting position. That finally woke Mello up. Mello blinked slowly, still processing the fact he was awake, before he glared at Matt.

“You’re so annoying.” He huffed and shoved Matt off him. He was luckily still groggy enough to actually hit Matt. Matt just smiled.

“Hey, be a little appreciative, why don’t you? I stayed up all night with you and I’m waking you up so you don’t miss our exam.” He says, already heading to the door. Mello groaned and followed after Matt.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He murmurs.

-

The pair had thankfully woken up early enough that the dining room was pretty much empty. Getting there early was good because the food was still warm and fresh. There were only a handful of people awake and eating at this time, mainly the older kids who kept to themselves and…Near but Mello chose to ignore that. Near was such an eyesore being albino and then also wearing all white. It was like he was trying to be blinding to look at. It pissed Mello off.

As Mello followed behind Matt, his eyes swept over the rest of the dining room. There was a pair of lovers he wasn’t close to and didn’t know the names of who did not concern him at all. Finally, there was B. B was someone who he used to be closer with, considering when he was little, he and Near were better friends. Near used to cling onto B, mistaking him for a different, similar looking black-haired male. Once he had startled B so much by hugging onto his legs without warning that B had dropped a jar of jam on his head, shattering it on Near’s thick skull. He remembered watching the poor boy break down into sniffles and tears as B stared with disbelief.

Mello shook his head, turning back to Matt as he watched the brown haired male fill his plate with food.

“Fat.” He murmured which caused Matt to poke him in the side with his fork. Mello glared at him and slapped his wrist.

“Says the one who eats chocolate everyday.” Matt replies with a giggle. Mello simply rolls his eyes and grabs his own plate.

When Mello and Matt had entered, Near tried not to stare. He wasn’t a creep or anything, he was just always drawn to watching the pair. Maybe it stemmed from a place of nostalgia. He remembered being close to Mello, and on occasion Matt. Maybe it was from just a morbid curiosity as he knew that Mello’s jealousy drove most of his actions.

Near looked back down at the table, mixing the weetabix around in his milk. He was having a bowl filled with milk containing three weetabix and some chopped up bananas. It was his favorite breakfast meal. He stabbed his weetbix with his fork and lifted it from the milk, chewing on the end. He was a slow eater, taking his time to eat and savour the few flavours he likes.

“Ew, what the fuck is Near eating?” Mello sneers, whispering to Matt. Matt looked up from the scrambled eggs he was eating.

“I think it’s that new stuff that was bought a couple months ago. Fuck, what was it called? Weetabix, I think. You’re meant to crush it up in milk or something.” He says through mouthfuls of food.

“Looks like shit. He didn’t crush it up.” Mello says before standing. Matt rose a brow as he watched Mello stalk across the dining room.

Near heard Mello approaching but he didn’t look up. He could play ignorant for a few seconds longer. He finally looked up when he saw his bowl be snatched off the table.

“Good morning to you too, Mello.” He says flatly. Mello makes a disgusted noise as he holds up Near’s bowl, scrutinizing it. He holds it at such an angle the milk is almost spilling out of the bowl.

“This looks like slop, Near. What are you, a baby?” He says, expression scrunching up. Near deadpans.

“It’s not like you’re eating it.” He retorts. Mello glares at him and suddenly the bowl is slammed over Near’s head, covering him in milk. Near frowned. This was like the jam all over again. Mello pushed the bowl harder onto Near’s head, squishing the bananas and weetabix into his hair. Matt finally got up to survey what was going on.

Near lowered his head and grabbed onto Mello’s wrist, trying to pry him away. Mello doubled his effort, putting a knee on the table and using both hands. He sneered at Near, laughing at his feeble attempts to push him away. Matt sighed and quickly wrapped his arms around Mello’s chest, yanking him away. Mello yelped when he was ripped away from his bullyment of Near.

“Hey!” He scolded Matt, “Let me go!” Matt shook his head.

“Stop causing scenes, will you?” He says, dragging Mello away from the table. Near sighs and carefully takes the bowl off his head, plucking whatever chunks of food he can easily remove out of his hair. Gross. 

While Mello was bickering with Matt, Near took his chance to escape. He snuck out of the dining room and into one of the bathrooms.

His hair was soaked and milk was dripping onto his clothes. He hated being dirty. Near huffed and turned the sink on, using it to drench his hair. He wasn’t even the biggest fan of milk so having it in his hair was not fun. He was very particular with his food and having to pick it out of his hair made his stomach churn. 

Now his whole day would most likely be ruined. 

He needed a shower he decided in the end when he was still stuck with ruined hair. He’d need to find Roger first, to ask permission to use the shower but he didn’t want to walk around Wammy’s with his hair like this. He didn’t like being seen in a state of dirtiness. So, he poked his head outside the bathroom, trying to see if Roger was near.

He wasn’t.

He let out a breath and slipped back inside the bathroom, shutting the door. He’d just take a quick shower. He didn’t like showering much, not in the lack of personal hygiene way, he just felt embarrassed. He felt like he took too long during shower time and he was too scared of someone walking in when he was showering outside of that time. It was embarrassing.

What Near ended up doing was turning on a cold shower and sticking his head underneath the spray. He grabbed the first shampoo he saw, some lavender one since the downstairs bathrooms had better hygiene supplies as the staff used these ones. Scented hair products were too strong for him sometimes but he’d have to persevere.

It was a disappointing shower at best and he had nothing to pat his hair dry down with. Thankfully, he had enough time to get to his room and back in time for classes. He had passed Mello and Matt on his way there. It was awkward and no one said anything. Mello and Matt fell quiet as he passed.

-

Near was only a few minutes late to his first class which was fine because it was his physical education class. He hated physical education, mainly because most times he had to be outside. The staff would always fuss about his sensitivity to the sun. Maybe if they were so worried about it, Near should be allowed to skip the class but no it just had to be a required class.

“Near, stop wiggling, you need your sunscreen on if you want to be outside.” A staff member fussed, smearing sunscreen across Near’s face. He made a noise of discontent and tilted his head away.

“I don’t like it.” He replied with a frown. The staff member sighed and shook her head.

“You sunburn easily. You need it or you’ll be complaining more if you don’t have it.” She chided softly. Near sighed and looked down at the ground.

“Fine…” He agrees, letting her put on the rest of the sunscreen.

It was running the mile today, something Near dreaded. He’d rather play dodge ball because at least Mello would target him and accidentally help Near by allowing him to sit out most of the time. He hated running the mile. Sometimes they’d even have to do full workout routines. It was horrible. He wasn’t even allowed to walk the mile. It was hell.

Near took his place beside the younger kids, mainly so he was away from Mello but also because it would make him look slightly better at running. 

so

He was horrible at running, barely able to keep up with anyone once they were told to go. He always had a good start to running but then it was too difficult to breath for him, causing him to slow.

This, unshockingly, happened again. He ran well for a good minute before he started to slow, focusing too much on breathing rather than actually running. It was embarrassing. He let out a huff of air, legs burning. God, he hated running. This sucked. He glanced at the people passing beside him. How were they so fit..? He felt a little stupid whenever this happened. He really didn’t get why they needed to run the mile twice a year. Well, he did. He knew that not everyone wanted to be a detective like him and some wanted to do field work. Some people needed a physical education so why didn’t they make it optional? 

Near thought that was a much better idea. His pace began to slow down to a jog. They should really be allowed to walk the mile as long as they get it done in time. He shook his head to himself. Stupid teachers. At least he was finishing the mile, even if he collapsed the second he was done with it. He was panting heavily by the end of it.

“Tch, fucking useless.” Mello huffs as he walks past Near, breathing a little heavier than normal. Seriously, what was his issue today? Near glared at him.

“Can’t you just mind your business for once?” He murmured, loud enough where he knew Mello would hear. Mello stopped and spun around on his heel, grabbing a fist full of Near’s hair.

“The fuck did you just say to me?” He snapped, pulling Near up to his feet. Near winced, knowing at least a few strands of his hair would be missing after this, “I’ve been fucking lenient today, you know. Why don’t you be a little more gracious that I don’t beat you to a pulp the second I lay eyes on you.” He was seething, more so than usual. Near held his gaze and Matt stepped in like usual, also seeming to notice Mello’s unusual rage. 

“Mello, dude, leave him alone. You can’t start a scene here.” He says gently, grabbing onto Mello’s elbow and tries to pull them apart. Mello releases Near only to smack Matt’s hand away.

“Back off, Matt.” He says with barely contained rage, “I’m not sitting here and letting you fucking virtue signal me. You’re meant to be on my side, remember?” Near thought that Matt was a smart person, he just had a problem of following Mello too easily. He should stand up for himself a little sometimes. Matt frowned, grip on Mello’s arm loosening a little.

“I am on your side. I’ll always be on your side.” He says, trying to pull them apart one final time. Mello glares at both of them before he finally lets go once he sees the staff members eying them. He didn’t like getting in trouble as much as he enjoyed breaking the rules.

“Whatever.” Mello grumbles,shoving Near one final time. Near tumbles to the ground, still weak from running the mile. Mello needs to get a grip, he thought as he stood, brushing himself off. His head ached a little bit from all the pulling, a slightly sting where his hair had been ripped out from. Maybe he should get an ice pack…

-

Near enjoyed academics overall. Learning was fun. He liked it. He liked how many law related classes he had. The required classes were okay, some of them were rather boring. He wasn’t the biggest fan of history, finding the fact it was more lectures than actual work rather annoying. He was good in all his classes and it all came cane easy to him. 

Today, he had an exam in civil procedure. He was also good in that class and was rather excited about the exam. It was one of his favorite classes.

After biology, he scurried out of the classroom and took a right, walking down a few doors to the civil procedures class. He was glad they were so close together, meaning he got in favorite seat. It was the far left one, right in the front and next to a window. He liked looking out windows, it was nice. The idea of being outside was better than actually being outside. 

Near was overall quiet as other students began to file in. He overheard friends catching up about what happened in the classes they didn’t share, people complaining about how there was an exam today, and other such things. People were interesting in his mind. He didn’t quite understand being human. It was hard, having to socialize and remember facts about people. Surely humans had a better purpose in the world. He shook his head of those thoughts as the teacher began to hand out papers.

“As you all know, we have our unit's final test today so I hope you are all prepared. I’m giving you all the class period to finish though most of you won’t need all of it.” He explained as he walked through the room, “The first page consists of multiple choice questions which should be easy for you all then you’ll have some written questions as well.” Near listened half heartedly as he looked over his paper

“There’s an extra credit question on the very back that is optional. I encourage you all to try it out to improve your grade.” Near knew exactly what that meant, immediately looking over at Mello who sat across the room from him for good reason. He knew Mello would be looking to get a better grade than Near. Near would play right back.

And so it began, the class fell silent as the exam began. It was easy to Near. In fact, he wasn’t even meant to be taking this class yet. He was just that smart. See, everyone else in the class was at least fifteen (depending on whether they passed the class or not). Near, on the other hand, was merely thirteen. He enjoyed his smarts. He wouldn’t like life if he was dumb.

Mello was quick to start his work, not even waiting for the teacher to finish explaining. He needed to beat Near. He had spent so long studying last night. Matt yawned as he looked at his paper lazily, glancing at Mello's. He watched as the other boy wrote so furiously his pencil lead snapped. Before Mello could even look over and ask, Matt was already producing him with a pencil sharpener. He liked being there to help Mello. He had seen how annoyed and irritable the blonde was today. Made him a little sad. He made a mental note to coax Mello to bed early tonight.

“Thanks.” He murmured gruffly. Matt just nodded and looked back at his paper. He did the first few questions before just copying Mello. Realistically, he knew he could do this test just fine but he didn’t really want to bother with using his brain. The teacher tapped his desk loudly as he passed.

“Eye’s on your own paper, Jeevas.” He scolded. Matt huffed and listened until the teacher looked away. He was immediately cheating off Mello again after.

Near finished the exam first, Mello followed after a few minutes. Both of them finishing so early meant they’d get their grades before the end of class. Near knew what he’d get. He’d be top of the class again. Though, he knew he’d have to make a point of escaping Mello's wrath when class ended. He really didn’t want to bother Mello when he was in this weird mood. It was bothersome.

He looked to the side and out the window, seeing as another class of students were running their mile as well. He was so glad he got that over with. He’d only have to do it again in a few months before the snow set in. Sometimes when it snowed too early in the year they’d run it in the snow anyway. That was even worse for Near as his ears would get cold and give him a horrible headache. God, he really hated physical education.

The class was forty minutes long and Near sat there without a thing to do for about a little under a half of that time. He minutely glanced back at his teacher, seeing him grading through the tests. He was bored out of his mind.

Mello was stressed, tapping his foot as he watched the time get closer and closer to the end of class. He needed to win. He needed to beat Near. He was sick of being a loser. Just knowing Near was in the room was pissing him off. God, why was he so angry today?! Even this was a little much for him. He looked over at Matt, staring for a few moments. Should he say something? No, that was stupid. He wasn’t going to whine to Matt about being mildly overwhelmed. He didn’t need anyone.

The second the clock signalled it was the end of class, Mello was up, startling a few students and even the teacher with his suddenness. He weaved through desks to get where the teacher sat.

“Were you able to grade my test?” He asks, trying so hard to sound polite. The teacher blinked and nodded, shuffling through the papers he had on his desk.

“Ah, yes, yes. I was able to, Mello. You did exceptionally well.” He spoke as he handed Mello his packet back. He snatched it, taking a step back as other students crowded around the desk. This was how most classes ended since Wammy’s house wasn’t technically a genuine school. Hell, it wasn’t even recognized as one at all. Sometimes Mello had his doubts about it even being recognized as an orphanage. He had gotten a 101, one extra point for filling out the extra credit correctly.

“Thank you, sir.” He heard Near, eyes flicking up from his page just in time to see Near already heading for the door. He follows Near. He glances over his shoulder, Matt beside him as usual. It felt slightly comforting, he just hoped Matt wouldn’t try to bother him again for pestering Near like he had already done twice today. Matt was seriously pissing him off with that.

“Did you check your grade?” Mello asked in a hushed tone, feeling the need to make some small talk. He needed to seem relatively calm. Matt laughed lowly.

“Of course I didn’t. I know I passed because I was copying you.” He replies with a stupid grin. Mello rolls his eyes.

“I need to move my seat. See how you fare without my unwilling help.” He said before speeding up so he could catch Near by the back of his collar. Near let out a yelp as he was suddenly yanked back. His eyes narrowed when he saw it was Mello, becoming more annoyed than shocked. His paper was snatched from his hands before he could even say anything.

“So, what’d you get?” Mello mused, flipping the paper over. 104. How the fuck did he get a 104?! Mello growled as he stuffed the paper back into Near’s arms.

“What the fuck is this shit!? You cheated!” He snapped. Near stared at him and took a step back.

“I did not cheat, Mello. I just gave multiple examples on the extra credit.” He says, “Did you not know that?” God, Near was always so sassy. Looking down on him again and again! Mello’s eye twitched as he stared at Near. He wanted to strangle him until his stupidly pale skin turned purple and his eyes were bulging. It took everything in him not to lash out immediately.

“No?! Why the fuck would I know that?! It wasn’t in the goddamn directions!” He snapped, taking a step closer. Matt knew exactly where this was going and instead of trying to stop Mello himself, he decided it would just be better to go get Roger.

“That’s not my fault. Why are you coming to yell at me about it? You’ve really been in a mood all day.” Near says, looking away from Mello for just a moment. It took Mello about three beats before he was on Near, tackling him to the ground. He grabbed a fist of Near’s hair and used it to keep his head pinned to the floor. Near shouted and tried clawing at Mello. His heart was instantly kicked into overdrive.

“Let go of me, bastard!” He shouts, pushing at Mello. Mello reeled back and sent his fist right into Near’s jaw, causing pain to spark all throughout the spot. Near was overpowered, stuck on the floor as any other child near the fight scattered.

As he was stuck in the fight with Mello, kicking and scratching in order to free himself, Roger finally came. Roger quickly separated the pair, getting between Mello and Near. Mello was pushed aside, Matt quickly coming to his side to make sure Mello didn’t fall. He let out a huff, glaring at Near. Near was helped up into a sitting position by Roger, thanking him quietly. He knew that Roger was only really doing it out of obligation and the fact it was his job. Roger wasn’t the biggest fan of kids despite it literally being his job.

“Mello. My office. Now.” Roger said with exasperation. Near knew that Mello would get no real punishment, a quick and half-hearted scolding before needing to sit in detention for an hour. Roger was terrible at his job.

“Here, come on. I’ll go with you.” Matt says to Mello, gently grabbing his wrist and starting to lead Mello away. Mello glares over his shoulder at Near.

“Fucker.” He snarls before letting Matt take him to Roger’s office. Near stood up, grabbing onto Roger’s arm to help himself up.

“Are you alright, Near?” Roger asks. Near nods, rubbing his reddened cheek.

“I’ll be okay. I just, uhm, want to go outside for some fresh air.” He says, looking away. He didn’t really want to be outside, he just wished to get away from the inside. Roger allowed him to go and he did, sitting underneath the awning.

He was poking the ground with a stick like a loser. What was Mello’s issue? Near sighed. He remembered the time when he and Mello were friends, brothers even. He remembered listening to Mello rant about his grand plans for glory. Did he do the same with Matt? Had he just replaced Near for someone else? What a stupid thing. Near didn’t mind their rivalry, it gave him something to focus on, but he sure as hell didn’t like getting beat up over it. It was idiotic. If Mello kept this up, how would he be able to accept the fact they would possibly have to solve cases together? He really needed to become a little more mature.

As Near mused about his current life and past, he heard something thud on the ground. He looked up, assuming it to be an animal. Instead, he saw a black item on the ground. What was this? Another trick the younger kids were pulling to prove Near was a vampire? He hadn’t heard any giggles or the sound of them running away. Maybe they were just getting better at being discreet. He stared at it for a long time, considering whether he should indulge their fantasies. 

He sighed and pushed himself up, walking farther out into the yard. He scanned his surroundings, seeing if there were any of the kids being obvious in their hiding spots. He didn’t see anything. How odd. He looked down at his feet, seeing what had fallen onto the ground. It was a notebook, which had fallen face down with its pages spread open. He leaned down to pick it up, soothing the crinkle pages. It seemed pretty old. Maybe a kid snatched it from some of the old books in the library. He ran a hand over the back, enjoying the feel of it, before flipping it over.

Death Note.

What a basic name. Near looked around again, still seeing no one. He flipped open the book, met with a page of rules. ‘The human whose name is written in this note will die.’ What a load of nonsense, Near thought as he shut the book. He should probably go give this to a staff member before it was accidentally spread around and kids started believing it.

He snapped the notebook shut before turning heel and walking inside, keeping the notebook tucked underneath his arm. As he walked, he pondered about the notebook. It intrigued him. He almost didn’t want to give it up. Looking side to side and making sure no one was there. When he was sure no one was watching, he turned to the stairs instead of the staff room. He was filled with anticipation as he made the walk to his room. It wouldn’t be so bad if he kept it, right? That would be okay. It wasn’t like he believed this nonsense anyway.

When he made it to his room, he slid the notebook underneath his pillow for safe keeping. He sat down at his desk to focus on some extra work he had to do to up his grade in more classes, mind continuously wandering back to the notebook.

Chapter Text

Matt stretched as he leaned back in his chair, glancing over to Mello. Mello had his chin propped on his hand, staring forward. He was obviously pissed off, brows furrowed. Matt smirked, having an idea to cheer up Mello. On the way to detention, he had swiped a deck of cards from a shelf holding all sorts of games. Maybe it could cheer Mello up?

“Hey, Mels.” Matt whispered, glancing at the staff member watching over detention in hopes she wouldn’t notice, “Look.” He holds up the deck of cards for Mello to see with a grin. Mello raises a brow, seeming unimpressed.

“Wanna play war?” Matt offers. Mello lets out a sigh.

“Yeah.” He agrees, turning to face Matt and shuffling their desks together as quietly as possible.

“Hell yeah,” Matt grins, dealing out half the deck to himself and Mello, “You’re taking a nap after this, by the way.” Mello furrowed his brows.

“I don’t want to.” He huffs, flipping over a card at the same time Matt did.

“Too bad. You’ve been an ass today.” He retorts, swiping the winning cards toward himself. The pair repeated the motion of flipping the cards. Mello placed down a two of diamonds, and Matt placed down a six of hearts. The cards went to Matt again. Mello rolls his eyes.

“I haven’t been that bad. It’s normal for me to be a bitch to Near.” He bites back, seeming annoyed. Matt would have laughed if they wouldn’t get in trouble for talking.

“You haven’t been that bad? Hah, don’t make me laugh.” He says, lips quivering with the urge to grin. He could never stay too mad at Mello, finding his angry antics more amusing than upsetting. He reached forward and squeezed Mello’s arm.

“It’s okay. Just take a nap, alright?” He says soothingly. Mello rolls his eyes.

“Fine.” He agrees. Their game picked back up after that and they almost got through the entire detention before some younger kid was too loud about asking to play with them. Matt was devastated when his new deck of cards he wanted to keep was taken away and put back on the shelf from before.

“Well, that sucked.” Matt sighs as he flops onto the bed, stretching out across it. Mello huffed and crossed his arms, leaning against the bedside table.

“Yeah, but what do you expect? Damn kids.” He huffs. Matt twisted onto his stomach, reaching out for Mello, who sighed and shuffled close so Matt could grab onto him. Matt dragged his fingers over the inside of Mello’s wrist before gripping onto his hand, pulling him into the bed with him. Mello went somewhat willingly, stopping himself before he could fall onto Matt. He balanced on his knees at the edge of the bed for a second before needing to stabilize himself with his palms. Matt smirked and rolled out of the way.

“Whatever, just lay down.” He urges, trying to pull Mello down again. Mello huffs and only allows Matt to pull him down half way.

“Your fatass is in the way. I can’t get under the blankets.” He complains. Matt laughs as he crawls underneath the blankets, going head first before having to shuffle around to poke his head back out the front again. Mello stares at him unimpressed before he, too, gets into bed next to Matt. Matt grinned cheekily at him.

“And you’re not taking a power nap either. You are resting, and I’ll be there to make sure you do.” He chides. Mello glares over his shoulder at him.

“You’re not going to make me do any– Hey, get your hands off me!” Mello’s surprisingly calm words turn into shouts when Matt suddenly wraps his arms around his waist, pulling their bodies flush together. Mello swings a fist back to smack Matt on top of the head repeatedly. Matt just smiled and let Mello hit him until he got bored of it.

“Too bad!” He exclaims, squeezing Mello tighter. Mello shouted and thrashed, trying to kick at Matt. He was never a fan of being touched. He could tolerate it from Matt sometimes when the brown haired male would just use him as something to lean against but this was just too much. Alas, fatigue was weighing on him now that he was in bed. He used the last of his energy to deliver one last hit to Matt’s head. Matt accepted it, used to being hit by Mello by now.

“Fuck you.” Mello hissed, blinking slowly. Sleep was tangling its limbs around Mello more and more by the second. He let his hand fall down onto the mattress, staring forward.

“Yeah, yeah. I hear you.” Matt says, reaching a hand up to stroke Mello’s hair. Mello just exhaled with annoyance.

Matt stayed still and quiet as he kept an eye on Mello, making sure he was successfully lulled to sleep. It was a rare time of peace in Mello’s day, one that Matt enjoyed immensely. He liked knowing Mello was able to calm down around him. It felt…intimate in a way. He hummed in thought as he ran a hand over Mello’s side.

Eventually, he pulled away, carefully untangling himself so as to not wake up Mello even if the other male was out cold. He didn’t move too far, just reaching for his DS so he could have something to keep himself busy. He didn’t mind waiting, he’d just make sure to sleep during the night. Hopefully Mello wouldn’t keep him up so late again.

-

Near yawned and stretched out across his floor, rolling onto his stomach. He had been pulled away from his studying by that notebook he found. As much as he didn’t believe it worked, he wasn’t going to waste it. He flipped it open again, glancing at the rules. Along with the first rule, he glanced down at the second one. There must be more logical rules than just writing a name of a person will kill them. 

‘This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person’s face in their mind when writing his or her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected.’

Ah, there it was. That made more sense. It was actually quite an interesting idea to Near. If only it was real. Of course, if he did have the chance, Near would never become a murderer. It wasn’t proper of him or legal. He hummed and reached for the plastic bowl next to him. It was filled with tiny cheese bites he had asked a staff member to cut up for him. He normally wasn’t a big fan of cheese but found he enjoyed it when they were cut up into squares for him. He popped one in his mouth before sitting up. He wanted his crayons, best not to let this empty notebook go to waste.

He found his box of crayons, an eight back of the jumbo ones. It was easier for him to hold. He easily settled back down, grabbing his green crayon. His crayons were almost out. He used them quite a bit to draw during his freetime. He furrowed his brows, not liking how the rule pages were fully black. Maybe he could get some white paint pens or coloured pencils that would work on the black paper. He flipped through until he got to the actual notebook pages. It was nicely empty. He let his expression relax as he started drawing, instinctively kicking his feet while he worked.

It was a nice way to relax after everything that happened today. He hummed quietly to himself, watching as the colours were etched along the paper. He was quite good at drawing flowers in his opinion. He was always slow in his movements, carefully drawing a row of flowers along the bottom of the page. Maybe he could draw some more things to cover the rest of the page. He remembered when he was younger he used to draw pictures of him and Mello then try to give them to the other boy. Surprisingly, Mello actually accepted one. He only kept it for a few days before he got mad at Near and ripped it up.

He let out a sigh at the memory. 

Near reached for his blue crayon to colour in the sky when he shuddered from a light breeze. Had he left his window open? He stood to go check. Maybe Mello was snooping in his room again when he paused as laughter hit his ears.

“What an interesting way to use the Death Note.” The voice chuckled. Near slowly looked over his shoulder, eyes wide. Something was crouching on the floor, holding the Death Note like it was inspecting it. He knew, in the back of his mind, that he should be scared but he wasn’t. Near furrowed his eyebrows and pursed his lips, eying the creature that was grinning gleefully at him. Tall and long were the first describing words that came to Near’s mind. It had grayish-blue skin and similarly coloured but darker lips. Bulging eyes with sharp, jagged teeth. Ugly and hideous to Near. Even its black hair looked horrendously greasy.

Near expression scrunched up at the sight of this creature in his room. Did Mello give him a concussion and now he was hallucinating? Maybe he fell asleep on the grass outside? That would explain a lot. He supposed he could humor this thing for now.

“Why haven’t you written any names? C’mon, can’t you do something a little more interesting?” The creature said, giggling the entire way like Near drawing in the Death Note was the most humorous thing it had ever seen. Near stared at it, debating his options. He knew that he was meant to be scared but he had never been one to be fearful.

“What…are you?” He asks, watching as the creature tries to size him up. The creature unfurled a pair of wings, much akin to a bird trying to make itself look bigger. It loomed over him before suddenly leaning close. Seconds later, it broke into grins and laughter.

“I’m the Shinigami of this notebook.” The Death Note was then tossed at Near’s face, causing him to topple back from the sheer surprise, “And you’ve seen to have found a use for my notebook.” Near twists to push himself up, looking up at the shinigami.

“You’re the one who dropped it on the ground.” Near replied. Shouldn’t something like this be kept safer? If it had been anyone else, who knows what they would have done with the Death Note. He was willing to give it back, it wasn’t like he was going to use it. The Shinigami laughed, standing up fully which made it tower over Near more so than before.

“I dropped it on purpose.” He says as if it was something to be proud of. Well, what else was expected from a God of Death. Near had more to say before he felt himself suddenly lifted up by the ankle. He yelped and thrashed, the world spinning around him. He could feel all his blood rushing to his head as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“There’s some colour on your face!” The shinigami spoke excitedly, shaking Near by the ankle. Near groaned, quickly becoming dizzy and disoriented. He shook his head, only able to guess how red his face was becoming as blood pooled at his head.

“Put…” He huffed out, “Put me down…” He did not like this shinigami. It was annoying. The shinigami cackled and Near begged in his head that no one else could hear it or he’d have a lot to explain. 

Thankfully, he was eventually dropped, landing on the floor with a thud. He could have at least been set down gently. Near carefully picked himself up, still dizzy. He did not like being thrown around. He preferred having both feet on the ground as much as possible. He looked back over to the Shinigami, which had seemed to be distracted with Near’s bowl of snacks. He watched as that, too, got lifted up and then turned upside down, spilling out his cheese bites. He frowned, knowing the food wouldn’t be good anymore since it was on his floor.

“Do you have a…name?” He asked slowly, watching as it turned the bowl over in its hands. The Shinigami looked back over to him, trying to reach out again but Near backed away this time. Instead of being picked up, Near found the bowl had been placed on his head. At least it was empty this time instead of when Mello had done the same thing earlier this morning.

“Ryuk. And I know plenty about you, Nate.” The Shinigami, Ryuk, giggled, looming over Near. Near narrowed his eyes.

“Near,” He corrected, “It’s Near. That’s what everyone calls me.” He hadn’t been called Nate in a long time, that name being dropped immediately when the staff at Wammy’s realized that he would be useful.

“Do you have any purpose other than to annoy me?” He continues, changing the topic quickly. He moves to go clean up the mess on the floor. He had really been enjoying his snack. Ryuk continued to grin and floated above him.

“Eh, I gotta stick around until the Death Note’s finished, or you die. Whichever comes first.” He shrugged, seeming bored now that he wasn’t getting a laugh out of the conversation. Near hummed and thought over his options. He wouldn’t die soon, he was still young, but he sure as well wasn’t going to be using the Death Note. Interrupting his thoughts, Ryuk continued.

“Unless,” He started, dragging out the word like a devilish promise, “You wanna give the Death Note back? I’ve never had anyone so young pick it up.” Near holds the bowl in his hands, standing up and having to tilt his head up to look at Ryuk. That would be a bad idea. From his judgement of Ryuk, the Shinigami would probably just throw it down somewhere else. How would anyone catch a criminal using something like the Death Note? It would be impossible.

“No.” He said firmly, instantly looking over to the Death Note to make sure it was still safely on the floor where Ryuk had thrown it. He didn’t know if he should worry about the Shinigami trying to take it. Well, it wasn’t like he’d be able to anyway. Ryuk was taller and already showed he could easily pick Near him. He wondered how much Ryuk weighed…

“Well, then at least doing something with it. I’m not sitting around here and wasting away.” Ryuk complained, picking at his nails, “C’mon, just try it once, why won’t you?” Near could sense Ryuk was trying to pressure him. He wasn’t that stupid. Even as he thought that, he still moved to pick the Death Note up again, holding both it and his bowl.

“It’s murder.” He stated firmly. He needed to shoo Ryuk off before someone came to see him or he needed to go somewhere. He didn’t like the idea of Ryuk staying around any longer than he needed to. It would be bothersome. Ryuk laughed and waved Near’s concern off.

“That’s the point.” He replies. Near glared at him.

“Exactly my issue.” He says, “I’m not a criminal.” Ryuk rolled his eyes.

“Boring!” Near just stared at Ryuk as he replied. He did not find this amusing. It made him want to scratch his skin off just listening to Ryuk explain things. He turned away from Ryuk, wanting to leave as soon as possible.

“That’s not my issue. I have morals, clearly more than you do.” He bites back. Ryuk stuck his tongue out at Near.

“I just said how you’re stuck with me. Careful, if you bore me too much, I might have to write your name down in my Death Note.” He said with a grin. Near glanced at him before looking down at the Death Note in his own arms.

“So then this isn’t your notebook?” He asks, “The one I have?” Ryuk blinked, seeming either shocked or confused by the question. Near thought the question had been perfectly understandable. 

“They’re both my notebook.” Ryuk said. Near eyed his suspiciously, not believing him at all.

“Uh-huh, and why would a shinigami need a second notebook?” He asks, “Is it a common occurrence to drop notebooks around?”

“Well, what if we lose it?” Ryuk counters, shrugging, “I am a little clumsy after all, as you saw” Near did not find it funny. 

“You dropped it on purpose.” He says. Ryuk shrugged, making an uncommitted noise. Near was done with this conversation and moved to walk away. Ryuk, sadly, followed, floating behind him. Near eyed him over his shoulder.

“No one can see you right?” He asks, voice dropping to a whisper. He was walking out of his room where more people were likely to be. It would be an issue if people could see Ryuk, and judging from the way Ryyk acted, he wouldn’t do anything in Near’s favor. 

“Nope, unless they touch the Death Note.” Ryuk answers, peeking into any room that had the door open. Near didn’t like being followed around by Ryuk. If he had two notebooks, why didn’t he throw the other one somewhere. Much preferred to be as far away from Wammy’s house as possible.

“This place is big.” Ryu commented, phasing through the wall to float in front of Near. Near paused and side-stepped to avoid Ryuk.

“Mhm. It’s an orphanage.” He says, padding down the stairs. He glanced around the corner, overly worried about the fact that Ryuk could possibly be lying to him and that everyone could in fact see him. Thankfully, he didn’t see anyone.

He went over to the kitchen, pulling out the trash can that was kept underneath the kitchen island. He frowned as he dumped his cheese bites into the trash can. Maybe he’d cut up some more for himself or get another snack. He put the bowl in the sink and looked down at the Death Note in his hands. He was rather baffled on how he of all people had found this. At least he knew he wouldn’t even use it.

He was eventually pushed out of his thoughts by very annoying chewing sounds. He turned, finding Ryuk perched on the kitchen island, absolutely devouring the fruit bowl that was placed on it. He had shoved two apples into his mouth and was going for a third when Near had noticed him.

“Ryuk?” He asked, keeping his expression neutral despite his distaste. Ryuk noticed him, even made eye contact with Near when he called Ryuk’s name out. Ryuk waited to respond, first finishing his apples. Near watched awkwardly, waiting for Ryuk to finish the apples before saying anything more.

“Are you done yet?” He asked. Ryuk swallows loudly, shoving the last apple into his mouth.

“Now I am.” He says through a mouthful of food. Near blinked. He found Ryuk incredibly bothersome and distracting.

“You like apples, I see.” He says simply. Ryuk nods, hopping off the counter to be next to Near again. Near took a step away from Ryuk. He wasn’t very fond of being close to the Shinigami, worried that he’d be grabbed again and thrown around again.

“Can you blame me? Apples in the human realm are worth the trip. They’re so hm…” Ryuk paused to think, “Juicy is the word.” Near nodded.

“Apples are okay. I dislike the sour ones Roger buys all the time. You ate all the good ones.” He says. Ryuk grinned.

“What?! Those green ones are great!” He says, “It’s the mushy ones that suck. Never step near me with a MacIntosh apple.” Near nods simply to humor Ryuk. He was beginning to accept he’d be stuck with him for longer. Though, this could be interesting, to be able to see a Shinigami up close.

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.” Near replies at last. He was in for a ride.

Chapter Text

Everything was bland and barren. It was exactly what Ryuk hated, how boring everything was. He was sick of it. He needed something to do, more stimulation. That’s why he pulled the trick with the notebook. It gave him an excuse to leave the Shinigami realm.

“Haven’t seen Ryuk in a while” Deridovely, a Shinigami who commonly gambled with Ryuk though Ryuk never participated a lot, “Think he’s still stuck in the Human realm?” Deridovely reached up with one hand to pick at his teeth. Across him was another Shinigami, Guuku.

“Maybe he got tethered to some human. He said he dropped his notebook, didn’t he?” Guuk replied.

“Pretty sure.” Deridovely replied. Guuku sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Won’t be back soon then, especially if some human got his notebook.” He complained, “They can be rather annoying with it.” Deridovely nodded in agreement.

Ryuk, on the other hand, was having the time of his life. He yawned and stretched, taking his sweet time to wake up. Near stood in front of him, apple in hand. He always dragged Ryuk awake early in the morning.

“Come on. Get up.” Near said, holding out the apple. Ryuk perked up instantly, wiggling his fingers over the presented apple.

“Don’t mind if I do.” He chuckled before grabbing it and shoving the whole thing in his mouth. Near cringed as he watched Ryuk chew obnoxiously. He licked his lips once he was done, making a show of rubbing his stomach. Near gave him a look before turning heel. He had breakfast to get to. 

-

Mello was never a morning person. He did not like waking up. Matt, surprisingly, was the easiest to wake up. Maybe it was the fact his brain was constantly working, always thinking about his stupid technology.

Mello yawned, blinking groggily as Matt brushed his hair for him. He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, visibly tired. His sleep had not been the most refreshing. He had never liked sleeping. Why sleep when he could be working on his academics? 

“There you go, Mel.” Matt said, setting the brush down in favour of running his fingers through Mello’s hair just to work out any extra knots. Mello grumbled and smacked his hand away. He stood and brushed past Matt, assuming the other male would follow. Matt did, of course.

“Oh, come on, Mello, don’t be so grouchy.” Matt chided softly, trailing on Mello’s heels. Mello rolled his eyes, leading Matt down the hallway. He glanced over his shoulder, noticing Matt was still trailing behind him.

“I’m not being grouchy.” He bites back, grabbing onto Matt’s hand to drag him beside himself. It was annoying to talk to Matt when he was always walking behind him. He squeezed Matt’s hand, sending the message for him to keep up. Matt smiled, which wasn’t returned by Mello. Matt’s cheeks felt warm, squeezing Mello’s hand back. Matt’s affections were not usually reciprocated by Mello. It was always a rare treat for him. 

They entered the dining room a little later than before, meaning there were more people in the breakfast line. Mello took his place behind him, grumbling under his breath as he dragged Matt along with him. Near saw the pair enter and lowered his head. He was standing ahead of them in line, listening to Ryuk talk his ear off.

“Ugh, it’s so unfair with so many people here! All those good apples and I can’t even have any! There’s too many people around!” He complains, clawing at his face in exasperation, “Come on! Grab me an apple!” Near glances over his shoulder at Ryuk, trying not to accidentally make eye-contact with another orphan while doing so. He grumbles under his breath and grabs an apple from the salad bar, putting it in his oversized shirt’s pocket.

“Another!” Ryuk chimes, urging him to feed his addiction. Near huffs and then places an apple on his actual tray. Near tilted his head down and whispered under his breath.

“No more.” He scolded quietly, praying that no one heard him so he didn’t seem like some freak that talked to himself. He glanced around to see if anyone was staring as he moved up the line. 

He had successfully escaped the line and went to his usual table, in the far back away from everyone. He set his tray down, listening to Ryuk whine about having to wait on his apple longer. Near grabbed his yogurt. He had luckily gotten his favorite kind. Wammy's house bought Chobani yogurt but normally when he got to it, they only had the flip kind. He hated the texture of yogurt with the nuts. He had also gotten a bagel with cream cheese. He typically couldn’t stand the textures but it was good when he got it blueberry flavoured. Good taste overrides the bad texture. Ryuk floated above him, staring up at the ceiling before suddenly flipping over and fisting his hands into Near’s hair. Near quickly covered his mouth so he didn’t yelp too loudly. He glared up at Ryuk, trying to bat his hands away without causing too much of a scene. This was incredibly bothersome.

“Stop. Stop that.” He whisper-yelled. Ryuk was like a leech, constantly stuck to him.

“Come on, I need those apples. I get withdrawals you know!? It’s not pretty either! I freak out!” He complains. Near rolled his eyes and grabbed the apple from his pocket.

“Sit on the floor and I’ll give it to you. I don’t want anyone to see.” He explains, holding the apple high enough that Ryuk could see.

And Ryuk was sat, below the bench Near was sitting on which would hide the evidence well enough no one would see unless they were standing on the table. Near let out a breath as he secretly handed the apple to Ryuk, keeping his eyes on his tray to not draw attention. Once the apple was out of his hand and he could hear the loud crunching coming from Ryuk did he finally turn to his food fully. 

He stirred his yogurt before taking a small spoonful. He always took his time on his meals, enjoying his food. He could take extra long with yogurt and bagel today because he didn’t have anywhere to really be. He had less classes today as he had already passed all the work in. Maybe he could go up to his room during his first period study hall and bother Ryuk about more knowledge of the Death Note, though Ryuk seemed mildly airheaded.

Speaking of Ryuk, Near almost missed him swiping the other apple off his tray. He spun around, seeing Ryuk gnawing at his newest treat.

“Hey! I need that!” He scolded, reaching down to wrestle the apple out of Ryuk’s mouth. He had weak arm strength, weak enough Ryuk could one hundred percent over power him, and yet he still got the apple somehow.

“Do not take things without permission.” Near scolded, putting the half eaten apple back on the tray. He narrowed his eyes at Ryuk, watching him roll around on the ground and complain. Luckily, before he said anything, he jumped with the noise of something slamming onto the table. He turned around, seeing that Mello had slammed his tray down onto the table. He shot Near a glare as he sat down, Matt standing behind him with mild confusion etched across his face.

“Near.” He says.

“Mello.” Near mirrors, tilting his head to the side in hopes of disarming Mello. Ryuk, at the sight of a new person, perked up. He got off the floor and hovered over Near’s shoulder. Near paid no attention to him, staring at Matt and Mello. He adjusted his position, pulling one knee up to his chest while the other leg dangled over the edge of the bench he sat at. It would be easier for him to have a head start if Mello tried anything.

“Is there something I can help you with?” He asks carefully, raising a brow. Mello simply smiled, obviously forcing it as it didn’t reach his eyes.

“What? Can’t I want to hang out with my brother?” He asks, picking at his breakfast with his fork. Near mirrored the action, stirring his yogurt with a spoon. Mello hadn’t called, nor considered, Near his brother in a long time. He was trying to butter him up for something. Matt even seemed confused, scooting a little closer to Mello and attempting to whisper in his ear. Mello glared at him and pushed him back with a hand on his cheek.

“Shut up. Eat your food.” He says before turning to Near. Near hummed, taking a moment to drag out the silence rather than responding.

“Yeah? Wanna hang out? What’s in it for you?” He asks, not trusting it. He knew how Mello could get when he found a new thing about Near to fixate on. Mello started cutting into his pancakes. He had gotten the chocolate chip pancakes and drizzled chocolate sauce on them. Typical.

“Nothing.” Mello shrugs. Near hummed and nodded, falling silent. Ryuk giggled and laughed over Near’s shoulder, grinning wildly.

“Oh-ho-ho, who’s this? Got enemies, hm?” He asks. Near ignored him, letting Ryuk laugh as if he was just listening to some white noise. Near took another spoonful of yogurt.

“Well, if all you wanted was to talk, how has your morning been?” He says, starting the conversation up again. Mello didn’t look at him, beginning to start with his pancakes.

“Fine. Matt was being a pain as always.” He replies through a mouthful of food. Matt perked up and playfully hit Mello’s arm.

“Hey! I helped you get ready this morning!” He protests. Mello glared at him.

“So? I didn’t need you to do that.” He snaps back, punching Matt’s forearm. Matt whined and rubbed the spot where he was hit, mumbling an ouch. Near watched with a blank stare. They were so weird, Near could never tell if there was something more going on with them. It was like one day they were close and then the other they were fighting, but maybe that was just because Mello was there. Near kept to himself as the pair bickered.

At times like these, it felt like the world was targeting him. Ryuk was babbling next to him while Mello and Matt bickered with each other. It was pissing him off. Ryuk dragged a finger down Near’s hairline to get his attention. Near jerked his head away from the touch, acting like he had just needed to adjust his hair.

“Lighten up, won’t ya?” Ryuk laughs, reaching for Near again, “You’re so boring now. Scared the older kids gonna beat you up?” Near exhaled through his nose, glancing back up to Matt and Mello. 

“Just, back off, Matt,” Mello snapped, swatting at Matt’s hands, “I’m not in the mood for it today.” Matt huffed but did pull away, not without swiping a finger through the chocolate sauce covering Mello’s pancakes. Mello yelped and swung at Matt as he laughed about messing with the blonde. Near jerked at the loudness of it all, even Ryuk was cackling. This had been a useless interaction, even making Near lose his appetite a little.

Mello held Matt back with a hand covering the other male’s face, ignoring as Matt tried to kiss up on him as an apology. His gaze finally snapped back to Near.

“Anyway, I was just thinking we should spend some time together.” He says. Near narrowed his eyes. Mello had attempted to beat him up yesterday, why the sudden change of heart? Did he already catch wind of the Death Note and Ryuk? No, that was a silly idea. Near hadn’t done anything but pick it up. He wasn’t guilty of anything. Knowing Mello though, if he thought it’d help him beat Near, he’d fixate on anything for months. If Mello thought he could frame Near as a murderer, there was a chance he really would.

“Spend time together? Hmm,” Near paused to think, weighing the options in his mind, “Maybe, we can work something else. I do have my extra classes, you know.” Mello’s expression twitched at the mention of Near’s extra classes. He had never liked how Near had been put into extra classes due to his smarts, he disliked being cast aside for Near to be pushed up. Near had never had any time to dwell on it, classes keeping him booked full.

“Yeah. I’m aware.” Mello replied stiffly. Near nodded and put another spoonful of yogurt into his mouth. He was vaguely aware of Ryuk moving to float above them, the sound of his wings flapping lazily worked as a sort of white noise for Near and helped him block out Ryuk. Matt had almost been fully forgotten in Near’s mind. He normally registered Matt as a bigger nuisance as he was almost always louder than Mello.

“And maybe you can invite your little friend to.” Mello suddenly continues, pulling Near out of his thoughts. He felt his heart skip a beat. His friend? Had Ryuk lied to him and everyone could in fact see the Shinigami? Why hadn’t that caused more of a stir then?

“My friend?” He asked, feigning innocence. He wasn’t going to crack and reveal himself in case he was wrong. Hopefully, he was this time. Mello narrowed his eyes, giving Matt a look. Near disliked when they did that, communicating wordlessly right in front of him.

“Yeah. You’ve been talking all morning. Why not introduce us to your new friend?” Mello said, pushing Near harder. Near held eye-contact with him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He shrugs. Mello and Matt shared another look. Mello twirled his fork between his fingers, looking at it instead of Near.

“Oh, really? That’s fine, keep your secret.” He says simply, seemingly dropping the subject. Near knew better. He knew that he’d be watched by Mello almost constantly now. Mello had found something to fixate on and now Near would never hear the end of it. Mello stayed quiet after that, focusing on his food. Near let the silence linger, like a bad omen over the whole table. He set his now empty yogurt container to the side, going after his bagel. He glanced up, noticing as Mello elbowed Matt in the side. The other male jerked at the contact, almost choking on the food he had stuffed in his mouth.

“O-oh, Near! What class ya got next?” He asks, obviously asking for Mello. Near took a moment to reply.

“A study hall, but I’ve long since passed in my work. I was planning to spend the period in my room.” He answered, willingly telling the truth. Matt nodded and grinned at Near.

“I’m going to physical education, why don’t you come outside and join that class then?” He urges. Ah, a ploy to get Near in their sights, was it? Near shook his head.

“I’d love to but I can’t. I have some puzzles I need to finish.” He says. That wasn’t technically a lie. He didn’t have any physical puzzles, yes, but he did have the puzzle of the Death Note to solve. His new challenge. Though, it honestly felt like his new found ownership of the Death Note was a curse. His peace was being bothered in three different ways.

“Actually, speaking of that, I might head there now. I’m sure that won’t be a problem for either of you two?” Near asks, already beginning to stand and grab his tray with the other hand. Above him Ryuk perked up, making a show of yawning and stretching as he lowered closer to Near.

“No, no, not at all!” Matt says cheerily, almost ushering Near away. Near smiled back. He truly didn’t mind Matt. He could be interesting to talk to sometimes, even if he acted dumb.

The second Near was gone, Mello turned to Matt and gripped his forearm tightly.

“Something is happening.” He hisses, digging his nails into Matt’s skin. Matt blinked and placed a hand over Mello’s, rubbing his thumb gently over the dip of his wrist.

“Mels, come on, have we ever considered that maybe Near’s just having a mental break. We don’t exactly get diagnosed here.” He offers. He was starting to think Mello was just going crazy instead, lack of sleep possibly. Mello scrunched up his expression, yanking on Matt’s arm to shake some sense into him.

“It’s not just that! He’s more suspicious than usual!” He protests, snarling. Matt let himself be shaken, “Something is going on. Something is about to happen and it’s all Near’s fault. He’s cheating or something! Faking something! There’s just something!” Matt listened half-heartedly. He nods, placing a soothing hand on Mello’s shoulder to quell the other male.

“Okay, Mello, I hear you. I’ll keep an eye on him, okay?” He says, smiling gently at Mello. Mello stared at him for a good while before finally nodding. He swatted Matt’s hands away, finally done with letting Matt touch him so much for the moment.

“You better. I’m counting on you.” He says before standing too. He picked up his tray and snatched Matt’s as well. Matt jumped up to follow, fork still carrying a glob of food.

“Wait! I wasn’t done yet!” He protested, chasing after Mello who was going to throw away their trays. 

Near exhaled heavily once he slipped around the corner, speed walking down the hallway. Ryuk followed behind him, already pestering again.

“What? Ya stressed? It seems like people are already onto you, hm? You know, you have something to help stop that.” He says, referencing the Death Note. Near sped up his pace.

“Shut up. I already said I wasn’t a murderer.” He snaps, “And they don’t know about the Death Note or you. Mello’s just obsessed.” He felt antsy, overstimulated. He didn’t know why he was in such a panic about this, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He guessed it was just his subconscious knowing the idea of the Death Note was inherently wrong and criminal.

“It’s a quick fix, isn’t it though?” Ryuk presses, “All you need is a name and a face.” Near wanted to rip his hair out. He wasn’t a criminal. He had a name to live up to!

“I’m not. I’m not killing anyone. I’d never.” He says, trying to keep his voice stern. Ryuk huffed, starting to challenge Near.

“Yeah? Even if they were criminals? Isn’t that something you humans do? The death penalty?” He says, grinning. Near slowly turned to look over his shoulder, eyes wide. Killing…a criminal? Well, he guessed Ryuk’s statement had some validity to it. Maybe that wouldn’t be too bad.

“I…” He starts, stopping at his door, “I don’t know.” Ryuk laughed loudly.

“Don’t know?! Or don’t wanna admit you’d wanna take that chance!?” He mocks. Near grits his teeth and enters his room, slamming the door shut to try and drown out Ryuk’s voice. 

Chapter Text

Near plopped down on the floor the second he got into his room, slipping a hand underneath his pillow to pull out the Death Note. He flipped it open and scanned over the rules for about the third time. Ryuk was seemingly uninterested now that Near wasn’t replying to him, floating over to the toybox and inspecting what he could find.

“Ryuk. I want you to answer me some questions.” Near says as he traces a finger over the words he was reading to keep his eyes straight. It was a bad time for his nystagmus. Ryuk murmured in agreement.

“Yeah, whatever.” He shrugs, digging a hand into Near’s toybox. Near squinted at the page. He had read these rules many times over, they were all so perfectly thought out. He was beginning to believe in this more and more. The idea of killing criminals though… Wouldn’t that be good for him? He was taught that criminals were bad and that he should fight for justice. He curled his other hand, feeling nervous. How bad would it make him if he did this? If he tried it.

“I want to know all the ins and outs of this. There must be more that you know of other than just these rules.” Near presses, looking up at Ryuk. Ryuk wasn’t facing him, instead more interested in the variety of plastic food Near had kept from when he grew up.

“Well, you already know the rules. I don’t gotta tell you anything else, you know?” He says flippantly. Near narrows his eyes and looks back down to the notebook.

“You’re useless.” He comments before he’s interrupted by a loud crunching sound. His head snapped up again only to find that Ryuk had taken a bite out of one of the plastic apple toys he had stashed away. Near stared at him for a long moment, not sure what to do. Was Ryuk stupid?

“Stop. Stop that.” He says, standing up. He tries to reach for the plastic in Ryuk's mouth but their height difference is just too large for him to even reach. Ryuk made it even worse by raising the plastic toy above his head and further out of Near’s reach.

“That’s plastic, Ryuk.” He says, grabbing onto the tattered scraps of fabric around Ryuk’s waist as if he would be able to pull the Shinigami closer. The plastic toy was eventually dropped right onto Near’s head. He whined quietly and backed away from Ryuk so he could pick up his toy.

“Humans are lame with all this fake food.” He complained, crossing his arms, “What’s the point of having food if you can’t eat it.” Near eyed him as he moved to put away the toys Ryuk threw around.

“It’s to play with. Don’t touch my toys from now on.” He says, narrowing his eyes. Ryuk didn’t seem to care for Near’s words, getting distracted with something else in the room.

“Whatever.” He shrugged. Near sighed and sat down on the floor. He stared at the Death Note which he had left across the room.

“Just answer my questions and I’ll leave you alone.” He says. The thought of the Death Note made him feel a little dizzy. It gave him a headache honestly, as if there was a physical force trying to stop him from even being near it. Ryuk huffed.

“What do I gotta say? You got all the rules right there.” He says, picking up the Death Note by the corner. He dangled it in front of Near’s face and he stood looming over him from behind. His voice suddenly turned low and ominous, still with the underlying tone of pure glee with each word.

“Well, maybe you should know that anyone who uses the Death Note will neither go to Heaven or Hell. Isn’t that fun? Wouldn’t you enjoy that? Wasting away the rest of your afterlife in pure nothingness. Type of boredom that would kill me,” Near watched the Death Note swing gently from side-to-side as Ryuk spoke, “I couldn’t stand the boredom, back where we Shinigami come from, the same thing day after day. I’m not here to be your friend or hold your hand with this, I’m here for my own entertainment. If you use the Death Note, just know that when the time comes, it’ll be my turn to write your name down.” Near could hear the snarl in his voice, an attempt at scaring him. He leaned forward and snatched the Death Note away from Ryuk’s hold.

“I still don’t believe in this at all.” He argues, tossing the notebook onto his desk. He almost sneered at it, mildly annoyed by how bothered and busy he was getting with Ryuk around. Ryuk simply laughed again.

“Try it once then? Prove me wrong?” He says. Near narrowed his eyes. He was being tricked, or at least tempted, and it was working. He clutched onto the edge of his oversized shirt. If he was going to kill anyone it would have to be a criminal, and if he needed a name and face, he’d need to go to the computers.

“Fine. Fine.” He complained, snatching the notebook back up again, “Let’s go.” He stuffs the notebook into the waistband of his pants, knowing it would be hidden by the length of his shirt.

He almost stomps out of the room, knowing Ryuk would follow. He’d need to find a staff member, preferably Roger, to ask to get access for the computers. The staff always kept a log of who used the computers in case someone didn’t shut them off correctly after or was looking up things they weren't allowed to.

He took another trip down the stairs and peeked around the corners. He didn’t want to bump into Mello again; plus, if he didn’t see Roger walking around, he would just end up going to Roger’s office. Maybe he wouldn’t mind bumping into Matt. He could at least have a conversation with Matt. Looking left and right, Near didn’t spot Roger so he took the route to Roger’s office.

He passed through the common room and found a large group of kids all huddled around the TV. Matt was there too, being the one that knew how to use the TV. He was flicking through the channels and fiddling with the volume as the kids crowded around him. Near paused, curious. He stepped closer to the crowd, getting on his tippy toes to see over the people in front of him. It was the news. Seriously? They were so worked up about the news? How odd.

He turned his head away and went back to heading over to Roger’s office. Roger, as expected, was there. Near let himself in and walked over to his desk, standing on his tippy toes to see over it.

“Roger.” He says, putting his hands onto the desk, “Can you log into the computer so I can use it?” Roger sighed and stood. Near followed after him to the library computers. As he passed through the living room, he could feel Matt’s eyes on him. He knew Matt was 100% acting as Mello’s second pair of eyes. Matt would do anything Mello asked.

He ignored Matt, more focused on getting access to those computers. He knew enough that he could just clear the search history after. He sat up on the wooden chair as Roger logged into the computer for him.

“Thank you.” He says as Roger leaves him be. Near was at least trusted more than most kids in Wammy’s house. It was all due to the fact he was polite and stayed in his lane. He looked around and made sure no one was looking. He could very vaguely hear a conversation in some other part of the library which singalled there were other people in the room but they couldn’t see him. He carefully took the Death Note out from where he hid it, placing it onto the desk in front of him. He could feel Ryuk looming over his shoulder, the shinigami’s excitement almost palpable.

Near needed to find a criminal, one that wouldn’t be too suspicious. If the default death was a heart attack he’d probably need to find an older criminal. He swiftly searched up news outlets, specifically looking for ones not from England. Russia? No, he had no clue about the Russian language and translators could always make mistakes. He could always find a new outlet from America, at least that was the same language, but what if that was also too suspicious? Sweden? No, their crime rate was pretty low. He ended up landing on Japan. He had dabbled with the language the year before for fun so he still retained some of the knowledge. He highly doubted anyone else knew the language.

Thankfully, it seemed like he was right on time as the news was already being broadcast. He clicked on the first link, wishing in the back of his mind that he could turn down the brightness. He didn’t like the computers Wammy’s house had. They had no option to turn down the brightness which always made his nystagmus act up. He scooted back as far as he could on his chair, bringing both knees up to his chest. He didn’t like bright lights. He needed to get some sort of eyewear to hopefully work on managing his nystagmus, but that's besides the point. He needed to focus.

He watched the news report talk about the current crime. There was a hostage situation inside of an elementary school. The culprit had first killed and wounded six people before taking the class of elementary students hostage. He was currently having a standoff with the police, not wanting to risk hurting the children inside. Near was thankful that there were at least English subtitles, even if they were written in American english. That at least meant he didn’t need to have the volume up so he wouldn’t get caught. Ryuk chuckled.

“Taking my advice, ay? Maybe you really are cut out for this after all.” He comments. Near completely ignored him. He was busy, mildly stressed as well. Eventually, the news broadcast put a photo of the criminal's name and face onto the screen. Near had never pressed the pause button quicker. He snatched a pen from the cup on the desk and flipped to the first blank page of the Death Note. Kurou Otoharada was the criminal's name. Near gave one final quick look around before scrawling the name across the first line.

The second he lifted his pen off the paper when he was done, a wave of dread washed over him. He really took in what he had just done. He…had killed someone. He had never wished for something to be fake more. He unpaused the broadcast with a shaky hand, staring at the screen in hope that nothing would happen. Forty seconds, was it? He stared with rapt attention at the bright computer screen, almost completely forgetting Ryuk was looming over his shoulder.

How many seconds had it been? He had lost count after ten seconds. He needed to get a grip on himself. This was a stupid reaction. Nothing would happen, right? This was all fake. He was hallucinating or something. The captions blurred which he couldn’t tell was from his usual bad eyesight or the sudden odd stress. He clutched onto his shirt, trying to ground himself.

Once the forty seconds passed, he willed himself to focus, leaning forward despite how he knew it would irritate his eyes. He waited. Nothing happened. He relaxed, letting out a breath. It was fake, he knew it.

“You’ve really played me, huh?” He comments, still trying to settle himself fully. His heart felt like it was racing still. Ryuk blinked before laughing. Near huffed and was about to reply when there was movement on the screen. The hostages had been released. That was good, yes, but it made him a murderer, didn’t it? He couldn’t tell how he wanted to feel.

“Oh.” He breathed, picking up the Death Note. He put it back into his waistband, skin crawling. He should have just thrown this notebook away the first chance he got. He simply closed the computer browser and stood. Ryuk fell quiet too, at least to a degree.

“Ah? What’s with the silence? C’mon, don’t tell me you’re gonna throw a tantrum.” He complains. Near glares at him, shaking slightly. He didn’t like the idea of being a murderer now. He felt sick, dirty even. He was raised to be against crime, to serve justice, and now he had thrown that all away. He ignored Ryuk and scurried out of the library. He needed to go somewhere, anywhere. He didn’t want to be seen anymore.

He lowered his head when he passed through the living room. People were still crowded around the TV, chatting amongst themselves. Were they watching the broadcast he had been watching? Were they talking about him? Did they know what he had done? He looked over at the group of kids, feeling that his eyes were wide. Matt was watching him again. It made Near feel worse this time. He looked away, speeding up his pace slightly so he could turn the corner quicker.

Matt was a lot of things but he wasn’t that stupid. He could notice the difference in Near’s normally calm and put together front. He frowned when he made eye contact with the smaller male. Maybe he was right with Near having a mental break. He let out a breath and put the TV remote into the hand of the oldest kid before following Near. He kept his pace slowly and careful, not wanting to startle Near. Near barely even registered he was being followed. He weaved his way through the hallways until he found an empty room. It was one of the classrooms that didn’t have a class in it at the moment. He found a nice spot on the floor to sit, maybe even lay down fully.

“Near?” Matt asked. Near froze and slowly turned to look over his shoulder. He tried to keep his eyes from being so wide. He nodded in greeting.

“Yes, Matt?” He asks, hoping his voice wasn’t too shaky. Matt stood at the door frame and looked at Near for a few seconds before crossing the space of the room. He crouches down and places a hand on Near’s back. Over his shoulder, Near can hear Ryuk’s snicker of interest. He whistled.

“Wow, Nate, you really got guys coming after you from all angles.” He comments. Near ignored it, staring at Matt.

“You good?” Matt asks, tilting his head to the side. Matt knew, didn’t he? Knew what Near had just done. That’s why Mello and him had been all up in his business, wasn’t it? It was like some fucked up divine warning.

“I’m fine.” He finally grit out. Matt started to gently rub Near’s back, feeling the slight quiver of Near’s body. He wanted Near to at least calm down a little before he went and told Mello anything. Despite never talking anymore, Matt still cared for Near. He felt a little bad for all the academic pressure that was put on Near, and Mello of course. He felt a little bad for them both.

“Yeah, I don’t believe that.” He comments bluntly. Near flinched at his words which made Matt try to gentle his touch even more.

“Come on, let’s bring you back to your room, okay?” He asks, gently trying to guide Near to stand up. Near glanced over his shoulder, looking at Ryuk even if Matt wouldn’t be able to tell.

“Okay…” He agrees, following Matt who leads him through the hallways once again with a grip on his elbow. Near felt nervous, constantly looking over his shoulder at Ryuk. Ryuk grinned and floated above them.

“Don’t look at me, I’m not helping you outta this.” He shrugs. Near chews at his bottom lip and looks down. He gently places a hand on where he hid the Death Note, praying it wasn’t visible underneath his shirt. He didn’t trust his eyes anymore. He didn’t trust anything. He wanted to wake up from his horrible dream.

“Sorry…” Near said suddenly, stopping and pulling his arm out of Matt’s grasp. He didn’t have to pull hard for Matt to let go. Matt always treated him like fragile glass. He didn’t know if it was on purpose or if Matt was just stupid. Maybe he treated Mello the same way. He didn’t know, and frankly, didn’t want to. Matt turned around and tilted his head to the side again.

“What?” He asks. Near hung his head.

“Go back to Mello. I don’t…want you here.” He says simply before brushing past Matt. Matt watched and stared. He frowned before turning his own way. Well, it was certainly something to tell Mello. As Near walked up the rest of the way up the stairs, Ryuk whistled behind him.

“Ouch, harsh much.” He chuckled. Near shook his head and turned into his room. He closed the door and sunk to the floor again.

“Shut up. This is all your fault.” He comments. He felt slightly woozy. He felt bad all over. There had to be a reason for this, wasn’t there. He looked up at Ryuk, who stood before him. Shinigami, God of Death. Something, something. Maybe…maybe this wasn’t that bad. Maybe it was a sign he was right for this job anyway. It was a divine gift he had in his hands, the option to rid any criminal with the flick of the wrist. He took the notebook out of his waistband, staring down at it in his hands. He could be the perfect vision of justice.

“Sorry, I just can’t risk Matt or Mello getting wind of this. If I’m going to…stop criminals with this, I need it private.” He says. Ryuk looked mildly shocked before grinning.

“Ah? Finally taking my advice!” He says.