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Shosh layed on their bed, curled up. Worst of days, worst of the month, if he had to say. Her PERIOD. Oh, but Shoshanna, it happens to all of us. Doesn’t it? Well, not to him. She was trans. FTM specifically. It’s not like they were out to his parents, they wouldn’t accept that. She was their perfect little girl, weren’t they?
He winced, the pain in his abdomen increased. She hated this, HE HATED IT SO MUCH. They sat up just barely, hugging themselves tightly. It didn’t help that his mirror was right in-front of his bed. He stared at his reflection. She hated everything about themselves. The longer hair. Her chest. His body. All too feminine, ALL OF IT. they knew they would never be a boy. Not under their parents watch. She subconsciously brought her hands to his long brown hair.
*too long.* they thought. *too girly. I’m not a girl.*
He didn’t notice when she started to pull. All she knew is that they needed to make it shorter. Tears streamed down her face. He would never be enough, never be masculine enough, never be himself. They would always be *Shoshanna Weber.*
He envied her twin brother. His masculinity, his voice, his everything. Why couldn’t they have that? Why could she just be like him? Maybe like would be easier, maybe he would stop feeling like a piece of shit if he was just born a *man.*
His head hurt, the pain in his sides was unbearable. His ears rang. Their vision blurred with tears as they looked down at her clenched fists. Strands of his hair were in their tight grip. Still wrong. Still the same. Still feminine. She felt a sob building in her throat, starting to hyperventilate.
The door to her room opened. “Hey, shosh. Dinners ready, do you think you’re up to coming downstairs? Mom and Dad have been worried sick about you.” It was Joel. Their twin brother
He kept her shoulder hunched. They took a deep breath. “Yeah. Just. Just give me a minute.”
“Alright.” Joel left.
Shosh buried her head in his hands. Why was she so pathetic.