Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Setting: Cortex Castle

Deep within his lair, the evil Dr. Cortex was hard at work on his newest creation. Welding torch in hand, he was nearing its completion when a roaring noise came from who knows where.

”CORTEX!”

Ugh. He knew that voice anywhere. Uka Uka. Sure enough, the hideous mask materialized atop the creation, scowling at the scientist.

“What’s the holdup? I didn’t rescue you from the end of the universe ten years ago for you to be LOLLYGAGGING! You’re supposed to be helping me take over the world!”

After trying to stop Crash’s creation in 1996 and being banished by the Quantum Masks, Cortex was left for dead in the ends of the universe. What was originally seen as a well-needed vacation was interrupted when the presumed-dead Uka Uka returned and pulled him out of retirement. Ever since, it’s been back to the old grind. He couldn’t lie, though: he missed this.

”W-with all due respect, great Uka Uka, I ask for your patience to last just a BIT longer. My new weapons system should make for the ultimate threat to any civilization we choose to invade. And!” A finger held up for emphasis. “It’ll serve up some piping hot bandicoot stew should the need arise. I just need to add a few finishing touches.” With that, Cortex returned to welding parts together.

Uka Uka looked unimpressed. “For your sake, it’d better work. You’re STILL on thin ice for leaving me for dead before!”

Cortex looked a little panicked. He considered himself lucky the malicious mask hadn’t vaporized him for that. “In my defense, that was NOT my decision. N. Tropy said to leave you behind, and I was…not in the right mindset. B-besides, unlike him, I’m at least hard at work like you said!”

In truth, Cortex hadn’t heard from N. Tropy in a long time. Uka Uka found him as well, but nobody knew where he went. Evil geniuses are harder to get rid of than cockroaches, but they’re even HARDER to keep track of. Not that Cortex really cared.

A grumble later from Uka Uka, and he seemed to calm down. “Just don’t disappoint me again. This world is ripe for conquering, and I refuse to let those bandicoots, my brother, or YOU, ruin my plans. I’ll be back to check on you in one week. You’d BETTER be ready to impress me...” With that, he left as soon as he appeared.

Cortex sighed, relieved to get back to work. A few more attached flamethrowers later, and the final part was added. The scientist stood back, noting his new ginormous podium-like machine. Full of heat seeking missiles, protruding needles, deadly lasers, and the aforementioned flamethrowers, not to mention an accelerated jet base to propel the thing anywhere, this StageBot was able to decimate ANYTHING that could pose even the slightest threat to his fortress. “Ahhh, Cortex you cad. You’ve done it again.” He stood proud, while nearby Lab Assistants clapped for him.

In a few minutes, the doctor strutted inside to one of his main labs, configuring some button inputs to control StageBot from within his castle. Rubbing his gloved palms together, Cortex chuckled maniacally. “Now I can take a fortified stage anywhere I need, AND don’t need to worry about useless security systems. I’d like to see Crash get through this monstro-“

Suddenly, a massive crashing noise caused the whole castle to rumble! “What in the name of!?” A button press later, and a live security camera showed Cortex the source of the sound:

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear, blue trousers and all. Crash Bandicoot, and his sister Coco. The security camera couldn’t quite pick up every detail of them, but the villain knew those silhouettes ANYWHERE.

”…Of course.” Cortex sighed. Then realized. If his nemeses were right here, this was the PERFECT time to test his weapon. Another button press, and the castle intercom was activated. “Ahem! Greetings, Crash, Coco, I’m actually joyous that you decided to “crash” land in front of my fortress! Haha!” A few audible groans from Lab Assistants came from across the hall.

”What you see before you is my newest achievement: I call it the StageBot! Decked out with dozens of ways to annihilate the likes of you should you try interfering with my world domination. I’ll give you till the count of three to scram before you’re left as two steaming piles! Ooooooooone….”

The bandicoots seemed to not respond, or even move an inch. The lack of reaction kind of took Cortex aback. Crash would’ve started moving a mile a minute usually by now, and Coco never missed an opportunity for a snide remark. Shaking his head, Cortex went back to counting, his finger on the button.

”Twoooooooo….”

Okay, still no response? From what he could tell, they weren’t budging from the spots they landed at. It felt like an impromptu game of Chicken. They weren’t moving, and Cortex wasn’t activating the StageBot. Only a few seconds passed, but they felt like a few days.

”….Two and a half?”

The silence from both sides was absolutely deafening. He’d never been in the same area as these two for so long without them doing anything.

”Um…hello? Anyone there? Earth to Crash? I’m about to kill you! Say something! It’s like, REALLY rude to give me the silent treatment.”

It didn’t take long for Cortex to be frustrated and get up out of his seat. In his anger, he was storming outside to confront the duo. He would NOT be disrespected this way in his own home. Defeated? Sure. Outsmarted? Maybe. Ridiculed? Several times. But not disrespected.

”I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but it’s SERIOUSLY rude! I’ve been working for DAYS on this new machine. The least you could do is take my new plot for world conquest seriously a-EEEEEEEEEEEK!”

A high-pitched screech escaped the doctor as he finally came face to face with Crash and Coco.

Or, what was LEFT of them.

The bandicoots were little more than bones, with some remnants of what their skin used to be. They were literal shells of their former selves. In just a few seconds, those piles of bones fell apart. Part of Neo wanted to believe this was a sick prank that they wanted to pull…but he studied bandicoot anatomy for a good while before exposing Crash to the Evolvo-Ray. He knew what a bandicoot skeleton looked like. And that smell? It was…it was Crash. And that fried up laptop…yep. Coco too.

Cortex had a look of astonishment…and a hint of horror. He had been trying to kill Crash for years, and here he was in front of him. Dead. Why did this…feel off?

”Crash…Crash is dead. I can’t believe this…Have I won?” The scientist didn’t quite know what to think. A stroke of his beard in reflection later, and he decided. This was a lucky instance, and one that he could hopefully flip in his favor in the future. Who said Uka Uka had to know Crash wasn’t killed by Cortex somehow? This was his ticket to success! But…

That didn’t change the fact that they just popped up dead out of nowhere. A genius like himself must be able to find ALL information before taking action. Lord knows he’d jumped to conclusions early in the past. No, Cortex needed to find the cause of his late nemeses’ demises.

Funnily enough, that also would be soon answered. Crash’s adoptive father and mystical guardian, Aku Aku, was floating over to the castle as he was thinking. “No, no no no no no no no, please…” Aku was heard stammering to himself.

”Aku Aku? What…What is going on?” Cortex asked, genuinely perplexed and demanding answers.

The mask looked ready to collapse and burst into tears. “My….my children…C-Crash…Coco…it cannot be…” He was downtrodden. “I…I can’t believe he did it…and I was too slow to protect them. I promised them I would protect them!”

”Spill it, you wooded geezer! Who did this? What happened? These two look like somebody aged them rapidly by a thousand years till their bodies rotted within seconds and left them as skel-“

Aku Aku just stared at Cortex, furrowing his brow as he watched the scientist finally piece it together.

Cortex joined in the frowning as the annoyed words exited his mouth.

”N. Tropy.”

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy’s Base

“I…I did it?”

He had done it. He had actually done it. Crash and Coco Bandicoot were nothing but BONES. He had managed to zap them while pushing Aku Aku away from them, and they started rapidly aging, their organs melting, their skin falling off. For an unprompted finisher, he blasted the two far away.

Dr. Nefarious Tropy had been trying to destroy the marsupials for quite some time, ever since Uka Uka enlisted his help years ago.

He had something going with that Rift Generator a decade ago, but the Quantum Masks ruined everything. Ever since he and his female counterpart were released from their prisons and went their separate ways, N. Tropy was getting desperate. But, without even realizing it would work, he did it.

”I…won. Heh. I won! Hahahaha! I WON!” His snide, overconfident maniacal laughter filled the room in his mountain base, so loud even a certain big-headed scientist with an N on his head could hear him from several miles away.

”This is….this is monumental! After all this time, the biggest thorns in my side have been plucked and decimated like the scum they were! And it’s all thanks to me! Oh, wait until that pea-brained mask gets a load of THIS.” N. Tropy was positively giddy, ready to think up Phase 2.

Materializing a comfortable chair out of pure energy, he sat down, pondering. It had been so long he never truly thought about what his next step should be. Then, followed by a snap of his fingers, it hit him. The Rift Generator was by all accounts a perfect weapon. It wasn’t its fault his last master plan failed, nor his, nor his counterpart’s. It was Crash. If he and Coco hadn’t rescued the Quantum Masks and tossed the twin time lords around, he would’ve won back then, and become a god.

But Crash and Coco weren’t a thing anymore. He was free to give it another go! After all, who was able to stop him? Dingodile was back at his diner, the other bandicoot female was off to parts unknown, Aku Aku was defenseless, nowhere near even Uka Uka’s level, and Cortex?

The mere notion of that idiot stopping him caused N. Tropy to snicker.

This would be his magnum opus, his TRUE success story! He was going to ERASE every little thing that he deemed imperfect, wiping it clean from the timeline. He’d be more powerful than anyone could ever hope, and rule the universe with an iron fist.

*Ding-Dong!*

”Ha, and they said it was ridiculous for a villain's lair to have a doorbell.” While slightly annoyed at being interrupted, N. Tropy was happy to greet someone in his current good mood. Pressing a few buttons on a nearby control module, his head appeared in a hologram outside, to greet…

Cortex.

Welp, that joy didn’t last long.

”Oh. Neo. What, you need to borrow a cup of sugar?” Already with the mocking.

Cortex wasn’t having it. “Cut the jokes, N. Tropy! What did you do?”

”Regret answering my door.”

”Not that! With the bandicoots! I know you did something, so spill it.”

N. Tropy chuckled lightly. “Oh, did those land in your yard? I’d say I apologize, but, well, you know…Anyway, yes, Neo, I managed to do what you’ve failed for DECADES with minimal effort. What of it?”

Cortex looked like he was about to say something, but just, stood there, mouth agape. Suddenly, Aku Aku popped up in between the two scientists. “N. Tropy! You don’t even comprehend what you’ve DONE! When I get my hands on you, I’ll-“

”Pfft! What hands, Aku? Besides, you’re NOTHING without your pwecious widdle babies to haul you around like a power-up.” N. Tropy mocked Aku Aku next. “Neither of you are even close to a threat to me now. And in due time, you’ll both be nothing at all. Cortex, I’d try clearing your bucket list if I were you.”

Cortex widened his eyes. “You’re reactivating the Rift Generator!? That nearly ripped apart reality!”

”Yes, because I made the worst mistake of my life: relying on YOU to help. Now, it’s a solo act, and I’ll be hitting prime time before you know it! You’ll have never existed once I get this fully operational. As much of a displeasure as speaking to you is, I really should get properly started. Enjoy my little parting gift, and ta-ta, buffoons!”

With a cocky laugh, the transmission ended, followed by a distant explosion. Both Cortex and Aku Aku looked to the source, and it was none other than Cortex Castle being detonated from afar! N. Tropy had already gotten strong enough to create controlled blasts from a far distance.

Cortex's phone started buzzing. It was one of his Lab Assistants, Regina. With a shaky hand, he tapped the button. “H-Hello?”

”Sir! We’ve just been under attack! We’re taking the remaining workers on the blimp! I’m sorry, but you’re on your own! Wait no no NO NO N-“ The call stopped.

Aku Aku stayed motionless for a while, deep in thought. This was a worst case scenario. He had no chance of stopping N. Tropy’s plans by himself, and the Quantum Masks were nowhere to be found this time. He could sense it. With a heavy heart, he took a deep sigh, and looked to his old nemesis.

”Look, Dr. Cortex. I didn’t want to resort to this…but I’m out of options. My children, this world’s heroes, are gone. I don’t have anyone else to turn to. If N. Tropy gets this up and running, this whole UNIVERSE is at serious risk. I need…your help. To avenge Crash and Coco, and to save the world, if just one final time.”

Cortex was frozen in place. Not only was his previous life goal taken from him, he lost his base of operations, and almost all his work force. And now he was weeks away from being erased from existence…by that pompous peacock.

Cortex gave a sigh and nodded. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but, you’re right. I can’t do this alone either, and it’s not like I have anything better to do.” He held out his hand in a symbol of truce. “Let’s take N. Tropy down…”

Aku Aku started to smile, in a slight sign of hope. Then he noticed the hand, and stared at Cortex disapprovingly.

”What? I’m just trying to shake your h-…” Cortex paused there….lowering his hand as soon as he realized the problem. “R-right.” He started walking away from N. Tropy’s base with the mask by his side. “Well, my old castle is no use, and N. Tropy knows all of my older bases. We could take my old blimp, but there’s a strong chance my remaining lackeys took it to escape the fire. Any idea where we can take refuge?”

Aku Aku hummed in thought. “Hmmm…There is our hut back on N. Sanity Isle. We could maybe fortify it?”

Cortex snapped his fingers. “Perfect! But first, we’re going to need some serious backup.” He pulled his phone back out and opened his contacts. While most of his old cohorts had retired or cut him out of their lives, there was one that was loyal to a fault.

N. Gin.

Setting: N. Gin Labs

Dr. N. Gin was polishing his old Rawk-It Head gold record. A sign of a simpler time to him. While mechanical mania was always his biggest passion, he still loved being a death metal artist. His phone rang with an obnoxiously chipper ringtone, startling him and causing him to drop the record. A grumble later, and N. Gin just shrugged and answered the call. “Hello?”

”Hey, N. Gin, I…ahem, h-how’ve you been?”

“Ah, Master! I was starting to think you’d never call! Eh….You aren’t still mad about the whole treasure thing a while back, hehe, right?”

”Eh, water under the bridge. Look, I need your help. I’m sending you some coordinates, and I need you to meet us there. Bring whatever building supplies and scrap metal you can find. Maybe some lab assistants if you see any. Can you do that?”

N. Gin hopped with excitement! Another job after so long! “Oh yes! Just you wait, Master! Your trusted lackey is on his way!” Hanging up, N. Gin ran off to get prepared.

Chapter Text

Setting: Crash’s Hut

Opening the door, Cortex was greeted by a rather homely hut on the beach of N. Sanity Island. A fireplace, some hammocks, a radio, an old school CRT television, and even two pets. A polar bear cub and a tiger cub. When the scientist entered alongside Aku Aku, the animals looked confused. Polar started barking at Cortex, while Pura was outright worried. Where was Mama?

Aku Aku only looked defeated at Pura’s expression, shaking his head. The cat meowed in despair, curling up next to the barking Polar. He stopped his rant to comfort his friend.

”Huh. How can a polar bear even be comfortable in a hut?” Cortex asked, legitimately confused. Aku Aku frowned at the insensitive question.

”Anyway, we need to clear out some of this clutter in order to make room for the laboratory. What can we get rid of?” He looked around at some framed photos and oversized pillows. “That looks like a good start.” Aku Aku blocked Cortex’s path before he could grab the pictures.

”You are NOT throwing away photos of my children. Find a way to work around them.” Aku Aku exclaimed sternly. Cortex shrugged. What a drama queen. Who cared that much about those bandicoots?

It wasn’t like Cortex himself had any sentiment towards Crash. He was nothing but a pain in the neck, ruining every evil scheme he came up with. So what if he created him? So what if he was hella strong and impressive in his puzzle solving skills? So what if he was the ONE person Cortex could rely on when he was at his lowest?

”Cortex. Cortex!” The scientist was snapped out of his deep thought. He looked around almost panicked. “Uh, right! Well, we could try digging downward to build a more underground base. But, I don’t see a shovel anywhere.” Cortex looked around…then noticed Polar's paws. “Hmmm….you! Infant bear. Start digging!” Polar looked at Cortex with about the expression you’d expect a hero’s pet to give his owner’s enemy. He clearly wasn’t going to listen to him.

With a scowl, Cortex pointed aggressively downward. “I said DIG, you simpleton!” Polar stuck his tongue out and plopped himself down. Cortex groaned. “Stupid bear! We need this place excavated if we’re going to stop N. Tropy! You know…N. Tropy? The tall green skinned snob with the tuning fork? Loves time puns? Crash’s enemy that killed him and Coco? The person that’s trying to ERASE us!?”

Polar tilted his head in confusion. He wasn’t sure what the weird flat-headed bad man was yelling about, but it did sound important…

Cortex sighed and palmed his own face in frustration. “Ugh….forget it! I’m going to scope the beach for some building supplies. Maybe there’s something I can use as a shovel….” He stormed out, leaving Polar to ponder. He looked down, at the sandy ground…and started to paw at it…

Meanwhile, Cortex was kicking the sand outside in anger. This was just STARTING and it was already looking to be a failure. A distant whirring sound kept getting closer from above. Cortex looked up in curiosity, only to see N. Gin hovering down with his jetpack! “Master! How wond-ACK!” Was all he could get out before a coconut fell from a tree above him and conked him on the rocket-plastered noggin, making him face-plant on the ground, sputtering sand out of his mouth. Soon he got himself up and dusted himself off.

”Master! How wonderful to see you again! What is your next brilliant scheme for world domination?” He looked to the hut perplexed. “Ehhh, what are we doing here? Crash Bandicoot will surely hear our plans from out here.”

Cortex took a deep breath. “Yyyyeah….we don’t have to worry about that, N. Gin. That’s the reason I brought you here. Crash and Coco are dead, thanks to N. Tropy. He’s trying to remake his Rift Generator and wipe me out of existence forever. I need your help now more than ever to join me in stopping him. Can we put aside our diff-“

N. Gin gasped and his pupils doubled in size. “You….NEED me!? YAHOOOOO!” He jumped in the air out of joy. “This is the best day of my life! We’ll make quick work of N. Tropy, and DESTROY him for beating you to the punch, Master! It’ll be just like the old days…except without all our henchmen. And no evil laboratory to start off with. And we’re living like hobos in a wooden box. And we’re technically saving the world instead of conquering it…” Cortex rolled his eyes…and cracked a tiny grin. N. Gin was a moron, but he was his moron. And a skilled moron at that.

“Excellent. Still…that leaves a problem. We might be geniuses, but we hardly have the necessary firepower to travel to N. Tropy’s base and trash his generator like last time. The bandicoots did most of the job then…” Tapping his chin, Cortex tried to come up with an attack plan. Making steps across the beach back and forth, doodling some blueprints in the sand, throwing rocks into the sea, poking the nearby Spyro inflatable tube a little too hard, causing a hole to form…

*POP!*

By the time Cortex formulated an idea, the sun started to set. “I’ve got it! We’ll create an army of identical, super fast, weapons-loaded robots to storm his base!” He frowned, thinking on it further. “Wait, no, that’d take far too long…Oh! I can CLONE myself to create an army of ME. N. Tropy’s worst nightmare….no, last time I worked with myself I couldn’t even tell me apart from me…or him….us…Ugh! My head….” A splitting headache formed at this conundrum.

N. Gin started to chime in. “Welllll…if multiple different heroes were what brought that peacock to his knees last time…why not try the same with VILLAINS? Let’s get the old gang back together! Dingodile, Pinstripe, Tiny Tiger, Ripper Roo, everyone!”

”Urrg, N. Gin, that’s a terri-“ Upon further thought….Cortex widened his eyes. “Wait….that’s actually a great idea. Too bad that I don’t have many an idea on how to reach them…they all left me after all these years.”

”Ah, like N. Brio? Your old assistant that betrayed you because you kept stealing his work and belittling him?” Boy, N. Gin didn’t really ease into things.

Cortex recalled…back when he was making a new Cortex Vortex with the crystal energy, Brio secretly got Crash to help sabotage his device, all because Cortex never gave Brio the credit he deserved.

And he was the EASIEST of the aforementioned acquaintances to track down. Ripper Roo and Dingodile had both retired from lives of crime, Pinstripe was millions of miles away from the Wumpa Islands, and nobody knew where Tiny was.

”It’s not gonna be easy. Did you keep in touch with any of them?” He asked N. Gin.

”Only Ripper Roo on a rare occasion, Master. Perhaps we could send messages and see who answers.”

A bunch of idiots, the lot of them, Cortex thought. If only there was another true genius to get…. Then, it hit him…

A coconut. A coconut hit him. Right on the head. It threw the scientist off his train of thought for a second before he remembered: Nina!

“Of course! My wonderful niece can help!” Cortex dialed up her number on his phone…and straight to voicemail.

*Beep!*

”Yo. This is Nina Cortex. If this is actually something I care about, leave a message and I’ll get back to you if I can be bothered.”

”Ahaha, delightful as always, a chip off the evil block!” Cortex praised as he waited for the beep.

”And if this my uncle, screw off.”

*Beep!* 

Welp. That smile went away quickly.

”Uhhh…Hello, Nina, it’s your uncle Neo, gimme a ring when you can, it’s kinda urgent. No pressure, of course, I just could really use your help is all…”

*Click* 

“Alright, while we wait on her, we’re gonna actually need a proper plan.” As annoying and infuriating as N. Tropy could be, they couldn’t just gather an army and barge in. He surely would be prepared for something like that. “N. Tropy isn’t an idiot. He has SEVERAL fortifications. If last time is any indication, he’s probably already moved his operations to space. So, that means a spacecraft needs to be prepared.”

N. Gin tapped his misshapen chin in deep thought. “From all I’ve gathered on him, he’s never been without that massive backscratcher.”

”Tuning fork.”

”Potato, tomato, Master. Anyway, it COULD be a power source? If we could find a way to destroy it, or at least take it away from him…perhaps it would give us an edge in battle?”

Cortex raised his hands in the air in joy, pulled N. Gin over and noogied him. “N. Gin, you diabolical gremlin! Where would I be without you?” N. Gin fainted from emotional overload.

”Uh…N. Gin?” Cortex shrugged and dragged his only friend inside the hut.

”Good news Aku! Methinks we’ve got ourselves a plan! First we just need to reach out to some mo-WHOA!”

Cortex apparently walked off a ledge and fell right on his behind into some hard sand. Looking up in frustration, he was astonished to see the hut was converted into a deep underground tunnel base. It was like a massive ant farm! Off to the side was a small soft pet area with Polar and Pura resting, sand deep in their claws after a long day of digging.

”….About time. Now, to find that diner…”

Chapter Text

Setting: Dingo's Diner

Next evening at the Mosquito Marsh, the retired mercenary Dingodile was helping his last customer in his beloved diner….beloved by himself, to clarify. The Health Department did not share his sentiment.

”Hmm, I MUST say, smelly scaled peasant. Your braised bat tacos were DELICIOUS!” The customer roared, a large, sharp toothed orc-like man with yellow armor and a war hammer. “This will be the second greatest dish known to Gnorc-kind!”

Dingodile tilted his head. “Gee, thanks, mate! Yer the first one t’ever give me cookin’ the praise it’s earned! But eh, what’s the first greatest dish?”

”THE BLOOD OF THAT MEDDLING PURPLE DRAGON!!!” The Gnorc(?) screamed in rage, causing the outside geese to fly away in panic. He collected himself, let out a gnasty belch, and stood up, handing Dingo a large sack of golds and jewelry. “Keep the change, my friend!” He waved goodbye as he strutted out of the decrepit restaurant via the suspiciously Gnorc-shaped hole in the wall. Dingo waved him off gracefully.

“G’day, chum!” A chuckle later, he walked to the register, stuffed the minimal other earnings in the moneybag, and walked out to his trailer, the diner closed for the night. “Ahhh, another hard days work, Dingo.”

On the doorstep to his trailer was a small package. “Oi! Wasn’t expectin’ mail…” He picked it up, noting it felt far too heavy to be more court sentences. He opened the door and brought it inside, cutting the box open. Inside was…a little gray walkie talkie? “What the bloody hell is this doohickey?”

Suddenly, the walkie talkie shook violently and materialized a life size hologram of Dr. Cortex, tinted in red. “Testing, testing. Can you read me?”

Dingodile scowled at his old incompetent boss. “Bollocks, it’s you again!? I already told ya, I’m retired, y’ain’t gettin’ me on your bleedin’ team for some stupid scheme of yours…” Dingo pulled out his trusty flamethrower and took aim.

Cortex cleared his throat. “Look, it’s not that simple. I called you because of a major problem. N. Tropy is working on a new rift generator and wants to become a god!”

”Phooey! Why dontcha go bug those bandicoots?”

”….They’re dead.” As Cortex spoke, Dingodile widened his normally droopy eyes in shock.

”Crikey…” Crash and Coco, his old enemies, turned…sorta friends? They did help him rebuild his diner after Papa Batfield blew it up…

Dingodile stared around his trailer, seeing  a poorly hanged picture of him, Crash and Coco posing in front of the rebuilt diner. Crash was doing his iconic thrusting dance, Coco was showing a peace sign, and Dingo was blushing. The old softie…

Even if he didn’t wish to admit it, Dingodile was already lamenting the deaths of his two only friends that weren’t just villain lackeys. “I…gee. That puts a bummer on things, don’t it?” He sat down in reflection for a moment.

Cortex sighed. “It was all thanks to N. Tropy. And he’s not stopping with them. If he gets that generator up and running again, we’re ALL dead! He’s going to erase anyone he doesn’t like from ever existing. Your diner, your legacy, your EVERYTHING.”

Dingodile furrowed his brow. “That string-beaned, good-for-nothin’ blowhardy drongo!? Oi, when I get me claws on him, I’m gonna ROAST his arse t'kingdom come! NOBODY wipes out me mates and gets away with it!”

Not exactly the motivation Cortex had in mind, but he wasn’t in any position to pick and choose. “That’s the spirit! So will you join me in teaching him a lesson?”

Dingodile grumbled. “Look here doc. I wanna get one thing straight: I don’t like ya. Every time I get involved with ya, I end up trampled. But I ain’t lettin’ N. Tropy get away with killin’ the blokes that fixed up me own livelihood. Whaddaya need me to do?”

Cortex pointed downward. “The machine is printing out a piece of paper that shows the coordinates to my new lair. Take the sheet, memorize it, then burn it. I can’t risk N. Tropy finding our base of operations. We will speak again.” The hologram disappeared, and the small walkie talkie spat out the paper. Dingodile took a nice long look at it before scorching it. Hoisting his flamethrower/vacuum gun on him, the mutant started trotting out to help avenge Crash and Coco.

The moment he did, though, a familiar face greeted him out the door. Tiny Tiger!  The massive brute was hiding out behind Dingo's trailer. “Dingo! Uhhh…fancy running into you?”

Dingodile sighed. This was just some family reunion at this point. “Damn it, Tiny, I ain’t got time for whatever ya wanna bug me with.”

Tiny looked skittish, a stark contrast to his usual savage demeanor. “Tiny…Tiny very scared…Tiny has been watching news, says that those puny bandicoots went bye-bye…what going on? Nobody could kill them!”

”Yeah, it’s actually why I’m headin’ out. Remember N. Tropy?”

”That skinny clock nerd?”

Dingodile gave a fingergun and a click of his fangs. “Right on the money, mate. Somehow he brought those two six feet unda, and now he’s tryna muck up time and space, and if we want any chance of survivin’, we gotta head to Cortex’s new digs and find a way to take him down. Ya wanna tag along?”

Tiny jumped up and down in excitement, causing the earth to slightly rumble. “HAHAAA! Tiny always up to CRUSH someone! Lead the way!”

Panicked about being spotted, Dingo grabbed onto Tiny’s shoulders to stop him from jumping. “Shhhhh, ya moron, the egghead doesn’t want N. Tropy knowin’ we’re gatherin’ up…”

Tiny stopped and grinned dopily, piping down. “Ahhhh, good point, good point.”

The duo made their way to the hut, Tiny on constant watch for anyone following them.

Setting: N. Tropy’s Space Station

The time lord was humming to himself, hard at work on the rifts appearing all over Earth. While these rifts were vital to building up his power, leaving the rifts unattended for could have catastrophic results that would only hinder his plans for rewriting reality.

”Alright. That should keep things stable for a while. How are things looking over there, Trance?”

N. Tropy’s previous ally, N. Trance, turned his egg shaped head 180° to face his employer. A skilled hypnotist alien, he was one of two people N. Tropy trusted to help him achieve this goal.

“I mean, this isn’t REALLY my area, but, looks pretty good on my end, boss. All the little rifts are maintaining power, but still a good enough distance from each other so they don’t go overboard. Uh…except this one right here.” His metallic claw pointed to a screen showing a decrepit manor. There were four rifts dangerously close that seemed to be pulling in and tearing apart the very building.

”What!?” N. Tropy shoved N. Trance out of the way to get a better look, leaving the egg on the floor, dazed. “Owie! Well, egg-scuse you!”

N. Tropy sighed. “Well, there’s no hope salvaging the building, but we can at least seal the rifts themselves before the damage grows.” A few button presses and concentrated psychic rays later, and the rifts were gone…

Setting: Crumb Manor

…But not before the mansion was torn apart, sucked into the space-time rifts along with so many of Mr. Crumb's riches from his days as a mortal. The greedy ghoul watched in horror as doubloons, pendants, gold bars, diamonds, gilded idols and all sorts of assorted treasures were cleared out, impossible to reach.

”NOOOO! My treasures! Come back!” As Mr. Crumb saw the rifts close, his sorrow transitioned smoothly into rage. “Oooooh, the bleedin’ idiot that dared step to Mr. Crumb is gonna be SORRY…”

Upwards, the ghost noticed a small aircraft hiiiiiiigh up in the sky. Crumb was an old geezer, but even he could tell that the machine up there must have had a correlation with those dastardly rifts. With a scowl on his skeletal face, he disappeared into thin air.

Setting: N. Tropy’s Space Station

The miserly man materialized in a flash in front of N. Tropy, understandably pissed off. “YOU! Yer dumb wormholes just made off with me final restin’ place, AND all me treasure! Ye better have a plum good excuse fer dat before I make yer life a livin’ HELL!” The Scottish specter barked out.

N. Tropy wasn’t worried, he had so much power on him he was confident he could take Crumb down if need be. “Now, now, look, spirit. It wasn’t my intention to erase your riches, I’m simply trying to gather enough power to achieve my rightful place as ruler of the universe. Your possessions were only an unintended casualty.” He silently motioned for N. Trance to shoot Crumb with a hypnotic ray.

As Trance tried, swirls corroding all over the ghost's body…nothing happened. N. Trance looked a little embarrassed. “Uh….whoops. Forgot to mention, I can’t hypnotize the dead…” The egg ran out of the room before any repercussions could ensue.

”WELL! It sure ain’t gonna be the LAST casualty iffen ye don’t hand it over, poindexter!”

”I'm afraid that’s out of even my control.” Suddenly, an idea struck. “But….I think there’s a way we can fix this and help each other, if you’ll hear me out, spirit.”

Mr. Crumb adjusted his monocle, stroking his skinless chin. “Hmmm…Fine, I suppose I can lend an ear…”

”Once my Rift Generator is fully functional, I’ll be able to travel freely through time and space, and rewrite reality itself as I see fit. I can simply supply you with MORE treasures, or even better, stop you from meeting your demise all those years ago.”

Mr. Crumb looked intrigued! “Ooooh, ye got me attention, lad…..what’s the catch?”

”All I’ll need from you in the meantime, is backup. You possess some odd supernatural power that even I can’t replicate. While I can’t find them, I’m certain that a few ingrates will do anything they can to stop my plan. Join me, and I’ll reward you with whatever you could desire!” N. Tropy smirked, waiting for Crumb's reply.

Crumb gave a wicked, rotten smile with his teeth, one of them golden. “Ye got yerself a deal, ye weirdo. Say the word, and I’ll be on yer enemies like the bloody plague…”

”Excellent! Now…to make a call to an old friend of mine…” N. Tropy was already preparing for his own army, and Cortex was none the wiser.

”Hey, boss? We’re ready to set course for Gasmoxia, just like you said!” N. Trance called out from the other room.

N. Tropy clasped his hands together. “Even MORE excellent…”

Chapter Text

Setting: Ripper Roo’s Study

Ripper Roo, a certified genius, and a gentleman, plagued by his own insanity. Ever since his first fight against Crash Bandicoot decades ago, he had been hard at work advancing his mind to calm himself down.

It…didn’t work. But he did manage a degree in psychology, and even had a self-published book, “Through the Eyes of the Vortex: A Study of Rapid Evolution and Its Consequences.”

As of now, he was relaxing in a chair, listening to his favorite classical music from a phonograph while looking through an old photo album. Long since retired from crime, Roo wished to live for nobody but himself, not caring who judged him for his more explosive tendencies.

A ring at the door excited him as it meant the mail had arrived! The kangaroo bounced right out of his chair and landed in front of his door. Without any warning, Roo broke the door with his head to grab the mail from the terrified mailman with his mouth. The mailman made a mad dash to his truck, ready to call it quits.

”Heeeehahahahahaha!” He popped back inside and spat the mail out, looking at what he got. Electric bill, coupons, college reunion invitation, the newest issue of Dynamite Digest, and a strange letter that didn’t seem to have any return address. How peculiar. Roo did his best to open the envelope without any functioning hands, and eventually got to it…after cutting it (and the floor) open with an axe (he didn’t even OWN an axe).

“Dearest DOCTOR Ripper Roo,

It has been far too long since we properly spoke, and that blame falls strictly on me. I had been so obsessed with my own scientific endeavors that I failed to acknowledge yours. And, look at you! Not only did your brilliant mind blossom, but you became a best-selling author.

Your book is truly mesmerizing, you have a fascinating way with words, despite being a creature of few. I’m positive if your book existed back before I started using the Evolvo-Ray proper, things would've gone much differently. In hindsight, maybe I shouldn’t have left you in the machine for 3 hours straight while N. Brio and I went out for Chinese food. But nonetheless, I couldn’t be more proud of one of my first creations!”

And with that, all the mystery of the sender went away. Ripper Roo was SURE he was far away enough to where Cortex couldn’t find him. Too good to be true, he supposed. The man that both enhanced and ruined his life was back. Against Roo’s better judgment, he kept reading.

”Sadly, looking back, I wasn’t the most accommodating. Rather than nurturing your hyper-developed brain, I plopped you right onto the battlefield. It is what my own parents did to me. Tradition is a cruel beast, and a very difficult one to overcome. I do hope you’ll find it in your warped heart to forgive me, and, if you’ll accept, maybe join me in some nice, insightful conversations in the future.

But, I didn’t write this letter just to reconcile…I need your help. N. Tropy is planning to erase me and all those he dislikes out of time and space, and rule over the world as supreme overlord. He’s already made short work of our old enemy Crash Bandicoot, so I need all the help I can get. I need not just your brilliance, but your unpredictable nature. You could very easily turn the tides of battle. Please, meet me at Crash’s old hut on N. Sanity Isle. Of course, if you still wish to cut me out of your life, I understand.

Warm regards,

Dr. Neo Cortex.”

Roo pondered to himself, plopping himself down. Would he willingly go to help the man that made him the way he was today? He hid it better than the others, but he hated Cortex for how he pretty much deleted all his marbles and left him to rot. Even in this letter, he didn’t apologize for the needless experimentation.

What would he gain from going? Recognition? The kangaroo felt plenty accomplished thanks to his own studies. Connecting with old friends? Aside from heading to Dingo's Diner and writing to N. Gin from time to time, he felt no need to see the others. Nobody ever took him seriously. Oh, that manic marsupial is such a pain, he always overheard.

Looking back, wasn’t it N. Tropy that typically gave out those remarks? And now he wanted to take over all dimensions?

”Hmmm…” Roo continued to ponder…Until a knock on the door snapped him out of his deep thought. It was nearby Wumpa tribesmen who had relocated to his island after their old home was ransacked by an overpopulation of wild boars…and their home after that was lost in a fire that they themselves had accidentally caused. Roo had them as neighbors for a good couple of years, but they typically didn’t bother him, no matter how many times his famous juggling act caused their huts to combust (Ripper Roo was a lot of things…a juggler was not one of them).

The door soon collapsed as multiple tribesmen broke into the house, alongside their chief, Papu Papu. The overweight leader of the tribe was not happy. “Papu had enough of Roo bringing big boom to Wumpa Village! Huts take long time to build, and not enough people to make. Roo will PAY for crimes with life! See how YOU like going boom!” With a wave of his staff, two more tribesmen carried four TNT crates to set Ripper Roo’s place ablaze.

All the kangaroo could do was laugh. Guess his mind was made up for him. He gulped up all his mail and made a giant leap to dodge all of the tribesmen's spears. With every bounce he made, another crate detonated and another tribesman looked completely (and rightfully) panicked. “Do not let him escape!” Papu Papu bellowed out, swinging his staff in a feeble attempt to swat Roo away. Roo decided to make one bounce off of Papu Papu’s huge belly, blow raspberries in his face, and leap out the window.

The psychotic pyrotechnic pouncer, covered in broken glass, landed right in his old go-kart and drove away, laughing as a massive explosion was behind him.

Parting was such sweet sorrow, but the aftertaste was a real kicker!

Setting: Unknown

The under-appreciated chemist, Dr. Nitrus Brio, read over the letter he had received from his old “friend” Cortex.

”Dearest N. Brio,

I’ve written to you asking for your worthy assistance. Even if I myself am probably not worthy of it. N. Tropy is rebuilding his Rift Generator, and if completed, it could mean catastrophic results for anyone and everyone. I’d greatly appreciate if we could set our differences aside, stop his madness and give you the credit you’ve sorely deserved all these years. If this interests you, please meet me and my associates at Crash Bandicoot's old living quarters to discuss further planning. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely, Dr. Neo Cortex.”

”Pfft!” N. Brio scoffed at the letter, crumpling it up and tossing it aside. He had absolutely no desire to work for that traitor again (even if his penmanship was remarkably better than he recalled). Besides, he had his own things to attend to.

Piloting a small spacecraft, Brio arrived at his destination: N. Tropy’s Space Station.

A hologram of the time lord materialized to greet Brio in bewilderment. “Oh. It’s you? What do you want? I’m rather busy here.”

Brio cleared his throat. “Ah, I know, I actually was thinking we could form a sort of alliance together, seeing as we both share an enemy.”

N. Tropy heard nothing. “What? Speak up!”

Brio, confused, repeated himself a bit louder. “I was hoping we could form a sort of alliance due to our shared enemy!”

N. Tropy just stood there, deadpan. “You do realize I can’t hear you on the account of the glass dome around your vehicle, right?”

Brio paused, chuckled at his own silliness, and activated his speaker. “Aha, sorry. I wanted to join forces and see if we could help each other. If it interests you, I know where Cortex is hiding…”

A wide, sinister grin spread across N. Tropy’s face as the door slowly opened up, allowing the chemist to come inside.

Chapter Text

Setting: Crash’s Hut Cortex’s Hideout

The new base of operations was running rather smoothly. When Polar and Pura finished excavating all the sand, the underground facility had multiple little areas for scientific research and tinkering. N. Gin did a great job scouring the beach for scrap metal.

The television was on, playing the news. “Good afternoon, all you folks at home, I’m Chick Gizzard Lips with a breaking news report.”

Chick’s co-anchor Stew spoke up. “Ooooh, I’m on the edge of my seat! Get crackin’, I’m ready!” Chick sighed. “Sadly, Stew, this isn’t good news. The local heroes, Crash and Coco Bandicoot, have passed away after being turned into old bones by their nemesis.”

Stew stopped in his crazed tracks, finally sitting down. “Uhhh…oh. Uh, do we got a name on the nemesis?”

Chick shook his head. “We technically do, but we’ve been sent death threats saying that if we disclose their name, we'll both be deleted from existence. So for my safety, I will keep them anonymous.”

Stew looked dumbfounded, kind of angry. “CHICK! We’re the damn NEWS! We gotta WARN people!” “You think I don’t know that!? But YOU give me so much terror and stress with your annoying antics, I can’t handle you AND a looming threat on myself!”

Stew was insulted, slapping Chick. “I thought you LIKED that surprise birthday party last week!” “IT WASN'T EVEN MY BIRTHDAY, and you invited my ex-wife! She tried to set me on fire, Stew! I swear, I wanna just-“ N. Gin turned the TV off to focus more on his newer mech.

Cortex was busy in the hut area, worrying to himself if Ripper Roo would even come. He was lucky to convince Dingodile, but he at least had a slight attachment to Crash (ugh, the very thought of that made the doctor almost vomit).

Then there was Nina. It had been a couple days since he called her, and she hadn’t answered. What was going on? She was always eager to come help with an evil scheme, what changed here?

Then it hit him. A hook. Right in the face through a window. It was a grappling hook that took Cortex back with it! “AAAAAH!” His shriek alerted Aku Aku to come out and follow.

As Cortex was dragged across the sand by the grapple, sand filling his mouth, the assailant was soon revealed. A tall, punk-rock looking female bandicoot! It was Tawna, from that adventure with N. Tropy’s ORIGINAL Rift Generator. And she looked pissed. She dragged Cortex up off the ground to face her. “What. Did you. DO!?”

”….Mother.” Cortex peeped out in complete fear. She slammed his huge head down on the ground. “Do you know how much you SCREWED me over!? I already lost my friends in MY dimension, then I found them again in THIS one, and YOU kill them!” Tawna pulled out a scimitar and held it to Cortex’s throat. “I’d say to give Crash and Coco my regards when you see them, but we both know you’re not going where they are.”

Aku Aku sped over to the two and shouted. “Tawna, don’t! It’s not his fault…for once.” Cortex was sweating. “It was N. Tropy! He’s back on his Rift Generator nonsense, trying to take over all of time and space.”

Tawna stopped in her tracks, looked to the petrified Cortex, and groaned as she set him down. “Ugh! Finally! Good to see you too, I guess.” The doctor sarcastically remarked as he wiped all the sand off. “Fine, where is he? I’ll slice his ass across every dimension I can find!”

”Sadly, it’s not that easy, Tawna. He’s far stronger than he once was, ambushing him would be suicidal. Cortex and I are hard at work with an attack strategy, we’ll make him pay for what he did to my children.”

”And my castle! Most of my life’s work is kaput thanks to that snob!”

Tawna leaned against a tree, thinking. It wasn’t like she had a good track record of facing N. Tropy alone. But…with help? Maybe something could be done. “Alright then. I want in.”

Cortex looked bewildered, already in refusal. “No way! I’m already going against my judgment by working with one goody two shoes, I’m not degrading myself by working with two!”

Aku Aku and Tawna just stared at him. “You worked with FOUR of them to take down N. Tropy last time.” The mask brought up. “That one was a means to an end, and I wasn’t in the proper mindset. This? This is personal…” The scientist held his tongue for a moment, considering the predicament. “But…I do suppose I’ll need all the help I can get if I’m going to save my skin. Fine, you’re in. Welcome to Team Cortex.”

Tawna put the blade away, crossing her arms at Cortex all the same. “Just know that if you try ANYTHING funny, Aku Aku and I won’t hesitate to leave you as fish food.”

Cortex rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t be dumb enough to do something as backwards as that. My life is already on the line as long as N. Tropy is in charge.” He had better things to do than turn on these people.

Speaking of, he saw Dingodile arrive at the hut, along with…Tiny? “Dingo! Tiny! Glad you could make it, we have a lot to get through.”

Dingo hoisted his weapon over to his back. “Yeah, yeah, alright, I getcha, whaddaya need me t’scorch?”

”I’ve prepared a training regimen in the hideout underneath the hut. Go there and see what you can improve on. I need us in PEAK form if we’re going to take down N. Tropy.”

Tiny raised his hand as to ask a question. Cortex sighed. “Yes, Tiny?” “What should Tiny do?” “Help me further build the base. When Roo, Pinstripe and Nina join our side, we’ll need more space.”

Tiny gave a salute and marched into the hut, with Tawna and Dingodile following behind.

Cortex looked to the sand. Was all this going to work? Would he actually succeed, or suffer another humiliating defeat at the hands of N. Tropy of all people?

The scientist scoffed. He had this in the bag. He’d never lived a day in his life thinking he’d fail. Why start now?

”COOOOOORTEEEEEX!”

…Oh no. That’s why.

Chapter Text

Setting: Koala Carnival

Through the sunset, Ripper Roo continued to drive onward, not actually sure where Crash’s hut was. Soon he ended up in front of a massive circus tent.

”Huh?” Roo didn’t remember there being a circus on the Wumpa Islands. Who put this here?

”HaHAAAA! You’ve all been a great audience! Thanks for coming by today!” Hold on, that sounded like…Koala Kong! Ripper Roo knew that laugh anywhere! He hadn’t seen him in a long time, since that “party” Cortex planned for Crash. Maybe he should go and shoot the breeze?

Parking his kart, Roo leaped out and hopped into the tent, pushing aside all the people that were leaving the show.

Soon, he found his old pal, Kong, and gave a wave of his…foot. “Yoooohoooo!” The meathead perked up at hearing that familiar voice, and lit up upon seeing the source. “Heyyy, Roo! It’s been years since I’ve seen you around, how’ve you been?” Roo only responded with a psychotic cackle, and Kong laughed back in return. “Haahahaha! I didn’t get a lick of that! C’mon, I’ll show you to the back area, you gotta meet my new squad!” Roo shrugged and followed Kong backstage to see a possum girl in a racing suit, a short cybernetic man with a large helmet on and a penguin with a slight purple hue to his feathers. “Passy! Clutch! Penta! C’mere, I want you to meet my old friend Ripper Roo.”

Pasadena O’Possum gave a friendly wave to the kangaroo. “Pleasure to meetcha, hun! Say, ain’t you one of them genius types with the fancy hats and the book?” Roo giggled and gave a bow…spitting out a copy of his book. “Tada!”

”Mein goodness!” Ebenezer Von Clutch spoke up next, observing the newcomer. “Look at zis crazed look in his eyes, ze floppiness of zose ears und tail! Dear boy, you vould have done numbers at mein old amusement park! Have you ever thought about going into show business?” The kangaroo simply shook his head. Performing was fun to him, but his heart belonged to science first and foremost.

”Yeah, Roo and I go waaaaaay back. We were made in the same freaky lab from Dr. Cortex. He got a huge brain and went a lil nutty, while I became the peak physical monument you see before you!” And there Koala Kong went with the flexing. His overgrown pecs and biceps had an unnatural but flawless curvature to them, and he knew it, and LOVED it. Kong had an ego so huge it could possibly give N. Tropy a run for his money.

”I remember the days we tried plotting against that pipsqueak Crash Bandicoot! He may have been small, but the guy could pack a WALLOP! After that I decided to try going into acting, got a couple of nominations, not to brag.” “Oy vey,” Clutch remarked. All Kong knew was how to brag. “Anyway, after a few years I wanted to show off my skills in a more…lowbrow kinda way. What better way than to start my own circus?” He motioned around to the entire tent.

”Yeah, from alien taming, to cannonball stunts, to crazy BMX tricks, to that adorable penguin over there as our clown,” He pointed to Penta Penguin, decked out in a jester costume. “We’ve got fun for all! Making a LOT of bank here too. I wouldn’t trade my success for the world.” Kong looked proudly before gazing down at Ripper Roo again. “So, hey, what brings you here anyway? An autograph? I’ll slip you one for no charge for old times sake.”

Roo shook his head. He actually had some serious stuff to do…but now that he found an old pal, maybe he could help! He got Koala Kong up to speed the only way the inaudible kangaroo knew how:

Charades.

”Ooh! Ooh! A traffic cop!” Pasadena blurted as Ripper Roo put on a serious expression (as serious as he could muster), slapped a watch on his head, and made snide squawking sounds. “No no, wait. A camel! The Path to Egypt!” “Ah, nein, you fool! It is a vizard! A vizard vith some power over time, is it not?” Roo sighed and nodded at Clutch’s correct guess. Kong stroked his chin in wonder. “A time wizard…..wait you mean that N. Tropy guy? What’s you driving gotta do with him?” Roo then spun around in place while doing his best Crash impression. “WOAH!”

”Crash? Okay, so, something about Crash and N. Tropy. Did he kill Crash or something?” Roo looked a bit exhausted trying to make them guess. He just reeled back, regurgitated the letter from Cortex, and spat it out at Pasadena. “EWW, what’s the big idea?” She picked it up and hesitantly read it aloud, making all four circus performers look distressed. “Vait, he could delete ANYZING? All our vork on zis circus…”

Kong pulled the letter out of the possum’s hands. “WHAT!? There is no way I’m letting him erase me! This show would cease to exist, then who would give the crowd what they deserve? Roo, make room for another guy in that kart, I’m coming with you!”

Ripper Roo leapt for joy, while Kong looked to his helpers. “We’re gonna be closing the circus for a few days. If working with Cortex again is what it takes to save our lives work, then damn it, I’m in!” Pasadena offered her boss a hand shake. “Good luck then, boss. Give ‘em hell.” “Ya, und show ze universe vhy zey cannot mess vith ze Koala Carnival!”

Kong shook the two's hands and strutted his way out with Roo…unbeknownst to the koala, Penta had stuck a taped paper that read “GOOFBALL” on his back…

Two hours later, Kong noticed, and couldn’t reach the tape due to his huge arms unable to touch his own back. “Ugh…damn squirts. Anyway, how much longer till we reach the hut? I wanna BASH a nerd’s skull in!” A pause. “N-no offense, Roo.” Roo, still driving, ignored it, focusing on finding the hut.

Chapter Text

Setting: Cortex’s Hideout

Great…Of all things to slow his progress, it had to be Uka Uka. The angry mask popped up in front of Cortex, just as grumpy as last time. “I require a status report, NOW!” Cortex panicked, not prepared in the slightest. “B-but Uka Uka! You said I had a week before our next meeting?” “I lied! It was a test to make sure you weren’t wasting time, and, predictably, you FAILED! I’ve been putting up with your shortcomings for decades, and I’m growing VERY impatient!”

As if things couldn’t get worse, ANOTHER face came to greet Cortex, via a hologram screen. “Aha! There you are, worm.”

”N. Tropy!? How did you-“ Uka Uka butted in, annoyed at the interruption. “N. Tropy! Do you MIND? I’m trying to tell this moron how useless he is!”

N. Tropy bowed in respect. “A thousand apologies, o great Uka Uka. I was just wanting to rub my future victory in this buffoon's face, but since you’re here, I want to give you MY report.” The mask raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Wait, you mean you’ve been working in secret for so long?”

N. Tropy grinned and nodded. “The new and improved Rift Generator is currently siphoning power from all across the galaxy. When it’s at full power, I can take apart and rebuild ANY part of space and time as I do please, and WE can rule the world TOGETHER! We’ll be gods, sir!”

Uka Uka laughed in satisfaction. “EXCELLENT, N. Tropy! Finally some good news! Now…” He turned and scowled at Cortex. “Explain to me why you’ve not only done NOTHING, but are hanging out with my goody two shoes brother at the home of our enemies!” Cortex struggled to formulate words as Aku Aku stepped in. “Brother, this is far bigger than you can comprehend. That Rift Generator will cause irreparable damage to-“ “Blah blah blah! As long as the world is mine, I don’t care!”

N. Tropy chuckled. “Oh he’s cowering away because he knows he’s about to be erased once the machine is finished. Plus, nobody lives there anymore. I took care of those bandicoots PERMANENTLY.”

Uka Uka laughed even more heartily! “FANTASTIC! Cortex, you’re fired! Enjoy your last days existing, because your future rulers will be enjoying every day after!” “Hahaha, indeed! Join me up in space, Uka Uka! I want to get a picture for prosperity!”

Without even a second thought, Uka Uka teleported to the space station, now appearing in the hologram. Cortex and Aku Aku looked to each other in worry. Things went from bad to worse. N. Tropy was becoming stronger by the hour, and now Uka Uka was alongside him?

”Impressive handiwork in this battle station, N. Tropy. It strikes fear into all who dare oppose us! Now, let us commemorate our new rule!” N. Tropy grinned, pointing to a screen. “The camera is built into that wall, right next to the hologram projector.” He reached over to the button with his tuning fork, then got into position, holding his fork up high while smirking wickedly. Uka Uka posed alongside him, facing his back towards his.

And, right as the flash happened…

N. Tropy PIERCED the mouthy mask through his wooden body, as strange purple essence was seen seeping out of him and into the time lord. It was Uka Uka’s Bad Mojo, the very thing that gave him his power.

“Sorry, ‘Your Greatness,’ but I’ve been serving your pea-brained hide for years…it’s high time we mix things up! Say hello to the bandicoots for me.” He taunted Uka Uka as the mystical life slowly left his eyes, and he grabbed onto both sides of the mask, before SNAPPING it in half, laughing maniacally as his power had only skyrocketed now!

Cortex and Aku Aku were left there to stare at the murder that took place. This was even WORSE. Any chance the two had of recruiting a powerful ally was now about as possible as a flying pig.

With the Bad Mojo flowing through him, N. Tropy was stronger than ever. “Let’s test this out….” With a snap of his fingers, massive lightning bolts came down onto the island, making the two heroes(?) jump in panic. “Ahhh, it feels phenomenal! Finally all this energy is being put to good use.” He turned to Cortex, smug. “I’d get my affairs in order if I were you, Neo, you don’t have much time left. Go see your dear family, I’m sure they’re oh so worried about you.”

”You leave my niece out of this, N. Tropy! When she gets here and we join forces, you’ll be history….no pun intended.”

N. Tropy rolled his eyes. “You really don’t understand your niece, do you? She hates you.”

Cortex scoffed at the very idea. “Oh, what do you know?”

”Ugh, I never thought I’d be playing therapist to someone like you.” N. Tropy sighed. “You’ve been making her follow in your footsteps since she was five, and if I were her, I’d resent you for forcing me into your career and never asking for my opinion too…which I do, but it’s more because you’re impossibly annoying.”

Cortex was about to retort, but N. Tropy cut the transition before he could.

Aku Aku stayed worried, looking at the scientist. “Uh…Cortex?”

”I need to reach Nina.”

”…I understand. You have family you want to protect. I’ll hold down the fort until you return.”

An explosion occurred inside the hut, shooting N. Gin out the window and onto the ground where the other two were. “Ugh….Permission to tag along, Master?”

Neo only looked perplexed. “Uh, N. Gin? What even went off in there?”

”I was trying to equip those smaller animals with high tech armor…apparently a polar bear cub with allergies pairs horribly with napalm…”

“….You need a break. Come with me.”

N. Gin gave a thumbs up and a smile…with a couple teeth missing.

Chapter Text

Setting: Haunted Woods

Cortex and N. Gin continued their day-long journey to the secluded dark mansion that Cortex’s niece, Nina, hid herself away in. It had been 5 years since he last recruited her, but they’ve kept in touch since then…for the most part. It was more like Cortex dragged her along to evil schemes.

N. Gin, exhausted, could just barely see the roof of their destination. His boss, however, had a far more determined mindset. No snarky remarks about N. Gin’s lackluster speed, no pointing and laughing at a squirrel caught in a hole, he was all business. Part of N. Gin understood this, it was his niece he was worrying about…but it did raise a question.

”Um…Master? Permission to ask a question?” Cortex groaned. “You should have used the bathroom when you had the chance, N. Gin.”

”What? No, not that. I meant to ask…are you feeling okay? You seem different.”

The scientist stopped in his tracks for a second. “…Yeah, I’m feeling fine. What’s the big deal?”

”The big deal, Master, is that you’ve been acting a lot nicer lately. You’ve been thanking us when we do a decent job, you haven’t been berating us or calling us incompetent boobs when you yourself reach some sort of setback, you haven’t even abused me or spit hot coffee right in my face, what’s going on?”

Neo turned to look at his loyal assistant, a little annoyed. “Are you saying you miss that?”

N. Gin dodged the question. “What I’m saying is, while I don’t know how most people work, I know how YOU work. And ever since we started this plan against N. Tropy, I’ve been seeing you…change, even if you yourself haven’t seen it. I’m worried about you. Is this about Crash?”

Cortex flinched. It seemed as if that struck a nerve. “Crash Bandicoot was a catastrophic failure of an attempt to make my mutant army for world conquest. He was going to be my general, but the Evolvo-Ray backfired. He came out dumb as bricks, without a smidge of loyalty. All those experiments, all those training sessions, all those wasted months…” He somberly looked to the darkened ground, before snapping himself back to his train of thought. “Ah, anyway, his death means nothing to me. Especially since I wasn’t the one to kill him. Just another reason I want to take N. Tropy down for good.” Cortex went back to walking. “Besides, how would you understand? You didn’t help make Crash. I hired you when we were testing out Coco.”

”Maybe so, but I was there to help prepare her, and I remember hearing some of your lamentations…Are you mourning Crash and Coco?”

Cortex groaned again, still walking to the manor. “N. Gin, I’m not saying this again: I hate Crash. Always have since he first ruined my scheme for global takeover. That furball never stopped being a thorn in my side. I’m shocked I haven't gone bald from all the stress. My goals have nothing to do with him. I’m stopping N. Tropy to save my skin, and the skin of my niece. Everyone else is a mere bonus. If it saves you, Dingodile, Ripper Roo, etc, then splendid. Any other ridiculous questions?”

N. Gin tapped his chin. “Actually, yes. Uh, is Nina your niece or your daughter?”

”Niece. I’ve never had children, where did you hear she was my daughter?”

”Well, I mean, I’ve never seen or heard about any siblings of yours, so…”

Finally at the door, Cortex brushed off any further questions.

N. Gin just sighed. He never got human interactions. Machines were his forte, and they made for better weapons. But if there was one person the short-statured psycho knew well, it was Neo Cortex. And he could tell, something was bothering him. Even if he himself didn’t know it.

*Ding-Dong!*

A ring at the doorbell, and no response. “Ahem. Oh Nina, honey! It’s your delightful uncle! Would you be so kind as to let me in?” No response. “Ehhh, maybe she’s not home?” “J-just give her a minute. She’s been going through a slight teenage phase.”

It took a total of six minutes for the door to open.

The TRAPdoor.

The trapdoor underneath Cortex and N. Gin. Both screamed in panic as they fell into a strange underground mine shaft. Both the scientists landed inside a mine cart, and before they could get their bearings, a noxious gas filled the area while the cart started traveling along the rails.

The gas didn’t really affect N. Gin, but Cortex was already beginning to hallucinate, and it was hallucinations of his WORST memories.

Visions of his childhood being bullied for his scholarly behavior. He could see the punk kids plastering the N on his forehead. “Hahaha! There! N for NERD! Good luck making that come off, poindexter!”

Visions of Madame Amberley from the Academy of Evil. Her scolding and hateful voice haunted him even today. “The little crybaby vorm Cortex…you vill NEVER conquer the vorld, just give up now, and the pain vill stop!”

Visions of Uka Uka letting his anger out on him. “You’ve lost the crystals, you’ve lost the gems, and I HAVE LOST MY PATIENCE!”

”No! No! Nonononono, GET AWAY!” In panic, Cortex pulled out his ray gun and started firing blindly. One of the shots landed right above them and caused several rocks to come tumbling down….conking N. Gin in the head and knocking him unconscious.

This woke Cortex out of his panic, looking to his out-cold assistant. “Uh…N. Gin?” Before he could utter another sentence, a rock conked HIM in the head as well.

Chapter Text

Setting: Nina’s Nightmare Hideout

Three hours later, the two scientists woke up, finding themselves in a dark and dreary bedroom, walls covered in posters of punk rock bands, horror movies…and kittens.

The door nearby slammed open to reveal the girl they came all the way for: Nina Cortex. The doctor’s only known relative (aside from his estranged mother), she had purposefully secluded herself here to get away from him. Upon seeing him, Nina couldn’t help but groan. “Of course. Should’ve expected you’d stalk me all the way out here. Oh, hey N. Gin.”

N. Gin, feeling awkward as a third party in whatever familial beef was going on, waved. “Hi?”

Nina refocused her attention on Cortex. “Now, what do you even want?”

”Your help! N. Tropy is about to rip space and time into nothing, and I need help from a mind as brilliant as mine.” Cortex seemingly pleaded.

Nina glowered up at her uncle, being a good few inches taller since the last time they met. She was growing up. “You ruin my life, you barely ever call me up for anything simple and nice, you BARGE in uninvited and trigger my new fear gas, and expect me to help you beat that asshole?”

Cortex gave a nervous smile. “Y….yes?” Then he thought back to what she said. “Wait, you made that fear gas? That was HORRIFIC!”

The girl smirked. “Mission accomplished. Anyway, no. I don’t care what N. Tropy is trying to do. If it’s against you, you deserve it. Besides, that dumb bandicoot will probably make quick work of him.”

N. Gin raised a finger in retort. “Ehhhhh, about that….”

”Both he and his sister are nothing but bones, thanks to that peacock. Even Uka Uka is gone. I’ve been gathering a team to reach up to his space station and take him down before he can erase us out of existence.”

Nina looked a little shocked that Crash perished. But upon hearing Coco was gone? That…seemed to actually bother her.

Nina tried to mostly hide it, but even now, she loved cute and cuddly animals. Something about Coco really hit all the high points. Sweet, sociable, brave, surprisingly athletic, adorable, and really smart. If anyone said Nina had a crush on Coco, she’d immediately deny it…which would only confirm it further. To hear that she was dead, it seemed to make her almost consider joining Cortex just to get revenge on N. Tropy.

But no. Even Coco wasn’t enough to convince the young villainess. Her beef wasn’t JUST with the time lord, it was with her uncle too. “If this involved anyone else, like N. Gin, then MAYBE. But for you? I’m not budging. Get out.” She pointed to the door.

Cortex was starting to get annoyed. “Now listen here, young lady, you’re going to help us get rid of N. Tropy and you’re going to like it!”

Nina stomped her foot. “NO! You’re the reason I’m hiding out here to begin with, why would I wanna help you? You ruined my life! What makes you think I’d help save yours?”

”What? What are you even talking about? I thought you loved being an evil genius!”

“I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about THESE!” She held up her stretchy metallic arms in frustration. “I’m not an idiot, Uncle. I know why you put these on me. You saw how much I was hugging little bunnies and pigs, and you thought, ‘Ooh, that’s not villain material!’ So you gave me these and made me a damn monster! Now I can’t pet anything without KILLING it…” She turned away from him. “…If you really loved me, like you keep claiming, you wouldn’t have tried to change me. That’s not what family is about.”

Cortex was going to combat her remarks…but he had nothing to say, or at least, nothing that would make him sound good. Nina was right. He was so obsessed with having a sort of heir to his legacy, he didn’t consider what she wanted. He just ignored her pleas, the same way that nearly everyone in his life overlooked and ignored him. His folks, Madame Amberley, his colleagues, Uka Uka…

A deep sigh later, and the scientist collected his thoughts. “This might be a long shot…but is there any chance you’d let me fix it?”

”Fix what? The years of damage you gave me? Fat chance. Like I said, get out of my ho-“

”No no no, not that…I meant your arms.”

Nina froze as he was seemingly offering the one thing she never thought he’d offer. “W….what?”

Cortex took a deep breath. “Nina. Please. Give me one final chance. I can’t lose the only family I have.”

Nina pondered over it. For the first time in her life, the doctor seemed 100% genuine. She held up her hands. “I guess they can’t get worse…”

Cortex turned to his trusted portly worshipper. “N. Gin, if you’d please?”

From absolutely nowhere, N. Gin pulled out a massive toolbox. “HAHAAAA! N. Gin is BACK, baby!”

Four hours later…

It took so long that the girl fell asleep. Thankfully, N. Gin had little to no trouble despite the difference in position.

”For goodness sake, N. Gin, how much longer?” The villain bellyached.

”Juuuuust a couuuple moooore wiiiiires….”

*ZAP!* *ZAP!*

”Voila!” The exclamation woke Nina up with a jump! “Wha? Huh?” She looked to her hands…noticing that nothing looked different at all. A frown of total disappointment was plastered on her pale blue face.

”Ah ah ah, my dear! Turn that frown upside down.” N. Gin insisted. “Might I suggest snapping your fingers?”

Curious, Nina snapped her fingers on her left hand…and the metallic casing was reduced dramatically in less than a second. The hand was much slimmer, and had an odd fuzzy feeling to it. It was still very much robotic, and if she wanted to put legitimate force into it, she very much could hurt somebody with a simple punch…but this was a vast improvement!

Snapping her fingers again reverted the hand to its previous state. It wasn’t quite like what she had when she was much younger, but she was already super happy with the results! She tried it on the other hand? Same effect! Nina looked elated!

She jumped up for joy, raising her fists in the air. “BOOYAH! Nina Cortex is BADDER than EVER! Thanks so much guys!” Upon seeing Cortex’s joyful expression, the girl calmed down and tried to look tough. “I mean…yeah, I guess this’ll do, Uncle. Not bad work, N. Gin. I uh….SUPPOSE I could help you two out in return. Only cuz it’s gonna feel great cleaning N. Tropy’s clock.”

Neo shed a tear of joy at her better mood. “Does…this mean you forgive me?”

Nina looked down to the newly refurbished hands, thinking. “I’ll…think about it. Now c’mon, you’ll need all the help you can get to save the universe so we can rule it another day.”

”That’s my girl!”

Evil laughter from all three filled the mansion as they walked out.

Setting: Gasmoxia

Self-proclaimed greatest racer in the galaxy, Nitros Oxide, was relaxing at his home, viewing his large trophy collection. It had been a while since he’d challenged a planet in a race, but Gasmoxian racing season wasn’t for a few more months. Suddenly, shrieks of panic startled Oxide out of his lounge chair and onto the floor. “What the!?” The cephalopod-like alien exclaimed as he looked out a window.

Right above the planet was Dr. N. Tropy’s space station, making an uninvited visit. The local citizens were running in fear and panic, having never been invaded themselves (some would call this overdue karma, given how many planets they have destroyed over the years).

The panic was soon silenced as a creature came down from the spacecraft: the cruel humanoid time lord himself…or…wait, no, HERSELF. Recognizing her, Oxide backed away from the window praying she didn’t spot him.

”Ahem. Attention, feeble ants of Gasmoxia. There is no need to be alarmed! I represent your future overlord, Dr. Nefarious Tropy…my male counterpart.” She pondered how to make a better distinction between the two. “For uh, future reference, you may refer to me as Fem Tropy. Now. Onto business. We do not wish to cause unnecessary damage. We merely seek the one known as Nitros Oxide. Bring him to me, and your meaningless lives will be spared.”

Shivering, Oxide realized he was stuck hiding in his own house until one of his own kind ratted him out. “…No, no, get a hold of yourself, Oxide. This is Gasmoxia. Your people are proud, honorable, relentless. They’d never just hand over one of their kind without some sort of retalia-“

”HE’S IN THAT HOUSE!”

Setting: N. Tropy’s Space Station

Fem Tropy was beamed back onto the ship, with a very displeased Oxide in her grip. N. Tropy grinned wide at their “new recruit.” “Nitros Oxide, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I remember the last time we required your help, you RETREATED…”

Oxide gulped and went back to shivering. “Y-y-y-yes….and I w-was simply making a t-t-tactical getaway in o-order to better plan for w-what lied ahead…” N. Tropy simply scowled at him, while he gave a nervous toothy smile. “………You’re not buying this are you?”

”Luckily for you, and your planet, I’m giving you a second chance. My Rift Generator is coming along swimmingly. However, this vessel? It could use some serious work. That’s where you come in. Your spacecraft technology is among the greatest in the galaxy, so you’re going to join my side and get this girl running as smooth as butter. Fail to comply, aaaand…” A quick finger gun downwards, and a massive explosion destroyed a city block below on Gasmoxia. “There’ll be a LOT more ‘accidents’ down on your planet. Understood?”

Oxide shakily nodded. “O-of course, your foulness! I’m at your command!” He gave a salute.

N. Tropy smiled deviously. “I thought so.” And a smirk to his other new recruit, Fem Tropy. “Marvelous work rounding him up, dearest. Couldn’t have done it better myself.”

Fem Tropy winked in reply. “It was no trouble at all, my good man. Just like old times.”

”N. Tropy! Eheh, sir!” N. Brio jogged over to the time lord. “Ah, what’s the news, Brio?”

”If you’re looking for more henchmen, I think I know a few mutant hoodlums I can call up!” A smirk returned to N. Tropy’s lips.

Chapter Text

Setting: Cortex’s Hideout

Cortex, N. Gin and Nina soon approached the hut, surprised to see a huge steel roof built….and a big hole in the wall with a go kart stuck in it. “Welp. Looks like Ripper Roo finally made it. N. Gin, help me pull that out.” As the two scientists worked on removing the kart, Nina walked into the hut to see the renovations. The tunnel system had only gotten deeper. She stepped further in and heard…chanting?

”Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! C’mon, pick up the pace! You think N. Tropy will just sit by and WAIT for you all to punch him in the throat?” Koala Kong was manning the training regimen, making Tiny, Dingodile and Tawna perform jumping jacks. Dingodile was clearly struggling. “Ha…ha…Oi…I can’t feel my bloody thighs…”

Nina looked up to the coach in amusement. “Heh, hard at work, Kong?” Koala Kong looked down in pleasant surprise. “Heyyyy! Nina, what’s up, squirt? Yeah, Tiny and Tawna there are doing well, but I got my work cut out for me with the dumpling over there.” He clapped to get their attention. “Alright, everyone, good warmup! Let’s take five before moving on.” Dingo simply collapsed. “Ohhh, crikey…my poor body…” Tawna laughed, helping him up. “C’mon, big guy, what happened to all that bouncing back during our last adventure?” “Look, back then, I was just tryin’ t’get back home. I don’t work out for a livin’.” He peeped Nina and waved exhaustedly. “Ah, long time no see, Sheila. Finally came outta retirement yaself?”

Nina waved back. “Eh, I owe N. Tropy a knuckle sandwich delivered ASAP.  Plus, can’t lie…kinda missed seeing you losers. Where’s old Rippy?” Tiny gave Nina an impromptu and unintentionally aggressive pat on the back. “Tiny saw him go in the lab to work on thingies!” Nina, not at all phased by the massive claw patting her on the back, shrugged. She knew better than to interrupt that nutcase during the scientific method.

N. Gin, back from pulling out the kart, looked scared at that news. “He’s in my LAB!? Roo, NO!” The short, rocket-headed scientist made a mad dash to the lab as maniacal laughter and numerous explosions were going on.

Tawna looked Nina up and down, curious. “So, you’re Cortex’s niece? Didn’t think he had any family that gave a damn about him. He’s…kinda a scumbag.” She smirked at her, not really worried about insulting her uncle. Nina debated on defending him…then remembered who screwed her arms up in the first place…and debated on agreeing with this mystery bandicoot. She thought it best to stay silent. “If you hate him, why are you helping us?” “Crash and Coco meant a lot to me, kid. I already lost them in my dimension, and letting their deaths be in vain in THIS one? It just ain’t gonna slide. Plus, I trust Aku Aku over there. As long as he thinks Cortex is trustworthy, I’ll let him go along.”

The aforementioned mask floated over to the newly-arrived Cortex to fill him in. “We’re nearly done on the rocket, and Kong has done a surprisingly good job with getting the others in shape. What else is needed before we take the fight to N. Tropy?”

Cortex nodded. “All that’s left is a back-up power source that MIGHT help combat all the built-up Bad Mojo N. Tropy has accrued…Power Crystals…” He sighed. “Unfortunately, ever since I got back from the ends of the universe, I haven’t seen a single one. I don’t suppose your kids had any stockpiled?”

Aku Aku shook his head. “We haven’t seen hide nor tail of them. Gems have been plentiful, but they don’t appear to do anything.”

”Well, there’s gotta be SOMEWHERE we can snag some. They were everywhere back in my dimension.” Tawna chimed in. “Does anyone even know where we can find crystals?”

“Ooh! Ooh! Tiny know! Tiny know!” Tiny jumped up and down to get their attention, causing small tremors in the ground.

”Oh, this oughta be good.” Aku Aku rolled his eyes. Tawna elbowed the mask. “Hey, hear the guy out, or he’ll never shut up about it.”

”Tiny remember weasel took TONS of shiny things back with him when he left island!” Cortex tapped his chin in thought. He’d never made a weasel mutant…

Wait. “Pinstripe? I mean, he does have a massive treasury. And I was planning to get him on our team anyway. I guess it’s worth a shot. But, he’s far off in North America, and he hasn’t responded to my letter.” It seemed as though he was ignoring him. Given what he’d done to his colleagues, this…was becoming less and less of a revelation.

”OOOOOOOHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!” Ripper Roo laughed so much he almost ran out of breath, pulling into the workout area with a hovercraft. Nina motioned to him. “Hey, Uncle? Think a hovercraft will work? Seems like it’ll fit four of us.”

Cortex snapped his fingers! “Excellent work, Roo! We’ll be able to reach him in no time! C’mon, Nina!” He hopped into the hovercraft alongside Nina…followed by Dingodile? “Uhhh…Dingo? Any reason you’re tagging along?” Nina inquired. “Eh, I just figured, Pinny's got a lotta firepower, ya might need some backup case things go south.”

Roo shrugged and started flying the hovercraft to Pinstripe's base of operations in North America. “Aku, you’re in charge! We’ll be back as soon as possible!”

Koala Kong shouted out to Dingo. “Hey! What about the training!?” Dingo answered him with a polite middle finger as they flew off.

Setting: Right Outside the Hut

A strange bandicoot was spying on Cortex and the others for a while. He looked suspiciously like Crash, save for a slightly browner coat of fur, two bushy eyebrows, a massive nose, beady eyes and some awful dental care. He was known only as Fake Crash. An alternate version of the late hero that was created by accident back when N. Trance tried to capture and brainwash the real one.

For quite some time after that escapade, Fake Crash had been hiding out in the jungle, but he always kept an eye on Crash and co. He wanted to be him, a hero. But whenever he tried to help people, he was cast away and ridiculed.

But now? From what these villains were saying, Crash was gone. Fake Crash resented his counterpart, but didn’t wish any ill will upon him. And the same guy that wanted to brainwash him a while back was his assassin? Fake Crash wasn’t gonna take that sitting down. He wanted to find a way to really help.

Crystals…the villains needed crystals, right? “Hmmmm…” Picking his nose in deep thought, the bootleg bandicoot came up with an idea! He had a huge stash of crystals from his winnings during the racing craze years ago. Those should do the trick, right?

Fake Crash jogged over to the secret stash he had hidden in a cave, ready to surprise the villains when they got back. However, an obstacle blocked the dopey doppelgänger’s path: a very unhappy skunk.

”Hey! You! Yeah, you! Whaddaya think you’re doing? See this cave? This cave right here? It’s MINE!” The skunk barked to Fake Crash. “You ain’t gettin’ in here on my watch. You bandicoots have been nothin’ but bullies to my whole damn SPECIES for twenty-eight years! It’s been the same shtick: back and forth, back and forth, until ya whirlwind right into us, or worse, shove us into those Nitro crates to blow us to BITS! But now? You’re DONEZO! This cave is mine, and there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it!”

Fake Crash just…stared at the skunk, seeming to not even comprehend whatever multigenerational beef the mad mephitis had. He just grabbed him by the tail and tossed him several yards away.

”NOT AGAAAAAAAAAIN!”

Fake Crash shrugged and gathered up as many of the Power Crystals he could carry in one trip before running back to Cortex’s base.

Chapter Text

Setting: Pinstripe's Headquarters

Cortex, Ripper Roo, Nina and Dingodile stood on the precipice of Pinstripe Potoroo’s headquarters building. The base of operations for his sanitation company, as well as the location of his vault. Cortex rang the regal doorbell, hoping for an answer.

”So when’s the last time you even talked to him?” Nina inquired. “Outside of those races we held a while ago? Decades. Pinstripe likes to keep himself as far away from our nonsense as possible unless there’s money to be made. With luck, we should be able to get those crystals from his vault without any serious confronta-EEK!” As Cortex spoke, the door opened, and the crew were INSTANTLY pulled inside by Pinstripe's goons, Slim and Fat. “Wheeeeee!” Roo squeaked out in enjoyment, as Dingo, Nina and Dr. Cortex struggled to break free from their captors’ surprisingly strong grips. Eventually, the four were tossed into a big room, Pinstripe's office.

“Ey, boss! We found these hoodlums tryin’ to get into the building, they were yappin’ about your vault. We think we got ourselves some robbers.” Slim announced. Pinstripe was on the phone, hushing Slim with a finger. “Yeah, baby, I’m just relaxin’ at the office, come on by, can’t wait to see ya, love ya.” A click later, and he directed his attention to the trespassers, looking weirdly happy. “Eyyy! Dingodile, Ripper Roo! Long time no see! How’ve you guys been?” He looked to Nina, having an even warmer expression. “And wow, is that little bambina Nina? I haven’t seen you since you were like, half your height. Lookin’ FIERCE with those arms!” Nina gave a small blush in appreciation. Pinstripe was always really nice to her, for some reason.

”So, what brings you all by? You lookin’ for a good clean or w-“ Aaaaand the smile went away instantly upon seeing the supposed ringleader, Cortex. “Ah. Figures. You’re here to drag me back into your stupid little bandicoot war, or get a new mind control device ingredient, or somethin’ ridiculous. Whatever it is, the answer is no. Now BEAT it, before I sic Diane on ya…” A subtle grab from his drawer and Pinstripe was packing one of his iconic Tommy guns. “I ain’t afraid to fire on my old boss.” Dingo and Cortex immediately put their hands up in the air. “Crikey, l-let's calm down, mate, it ain’t what it looks like…” “Y-yes, actually, while I DO need your help…it’s not for the typical evil scheme…”

Pinstripe sighed. “Fine. I’ll hear ya out, but I ain’t budgin’.” He lowered his gun, unaware of the car that pulled in outside. Nina spoke. “That time lord creep N. Tropy is trying to build a Rift Generator, and if we don’t stop him, he’ll be able to rewrite space and time in any way shape and form.” The potoroo chuckled as he recalled the last time they interacted. “Ha! That shmuck that I fooled into buyin’ those fake gold watches? Heheheh, classic! Still, dunno why that involves me.”

Nina frowned. “Because, in order for us to stop him, we need a power boost. We know you’ve been hoarding those Power Crystals for years. We came here hoping you’d lend em to us.” Pinstripe couldn’t help but laugh. “Fat chance, kiddo! I ain’t kissin’ any of my riches goodbye just to be used in y’all’s kooky lab projects! Your uncle's ‘diabolical nemesis’ prolly has this covered anyway.”

”Nnnnnope! Ol’ bugger and his sister kicked the bucket cuz of N. Tropy.” Dingodile explained. Ripper Roo nodded, stuck his tongue further out, crossed his spirally eyes, and played dead.

Pinstripe seemed a little shocked at that, he knew Crash was a formidable foe, so taking him down meant trouble. Still, he shrugged it off, pulling out and lighting a cigar. “Well, boo-hoo for you lot, but that don't mean diddly-squat to me. I ain’t joinin’ your rebellion, and I DAMN sure ain’t donatin’ my treasures to yas.”

Suddenly, the door slammed open, launching Cortex into the wall, and in came Pinstripe’s girlfriend Tawna! “They're dead!? Please tell me you’re joking!” Pinstripe pinched his brow, hating to be interrupted. “Tawna, darlin’, I’m kinda in the middle of somethin’ ere. Can you wait outside?”

Dingodile raised an eyebrow. “Wait, I thought we already recruited her?” He scratched his head in pure confusion. The weakened Cortex stumbled over. “A-alternate di…dimension, Dingodile.” Tawna rolled her eyes at the rogues gallery before her. “Of course you’re all involved…” She turned her attention back to the potoroo. “Honey, you know how much those two sweethearts meant to me. And when you hear they’re dead you just sit there and do nothing?”

Pinstripe stared her directly in the eyes. “My ass ain’t budgin’, toots. I don’t work for this egghead no more. If he wants crystals, he can keep searchin’!”

Tawna couldn’t believe it. She had thought her business-driven boyfriend had really changed after so long, but his old selfish ways were still very apparent. Tawna originally was the girlfriend to Crash Bandicoot, and while they were no longer together, they remained good friends. And Coco was like the little sister she never had. To hear they were gone was a little heartbreaking. “Look. I’m not asking you to help them for Crash’s sake, or for Cortex’s sake….but could you at least do it for me, hun?” She looked down at him with the most adorable puppy dog eyes that she knew he was susceptible to.

Pinstripe squirmed upon seeing that face, doing everything in his mental power to look away, as he knew he’d cave. “T-Tawna, babe, I’m not gonna do this just cuz…..I got a business to run ere! What are….URGGH! Fine! You win…..I can’t say no to that precious face of yours…” He reached up out of his seat and kissed Tawna straight on the lips. Crossing his arms, he got up and stared to the four others in his office. “You got me, I guess. Plus, I guess if that nerd gets to rulin’ over this place, money ain’t gonna have any value. Let’s go. Boys!” He snapped his fingers, and Slim and Fat came out with a big chest full of Power Crystals. “We’ll take my private chopper. I ain’t gettin’ in that puny hover machine.” The quartet sighed in relief as they all exited. Pinstripe turned back to Tawna and kissed her cheek. “Be back after I save the world, babe.” He strutted out, carrying a burlap sack of bombs and guns.

Chapter Text

Setting: Galactic Circuit

The self-proclaimed ruler of the galaxy, Emperor Velo XXVII, was made aware of an intruding ship on his territory. Nobody had ever dared to challenge his iron-fisted rule, so this planned to be interesting. The massive goblin-like dictator stepped out onto his balcony to confront the ship. “Ahem! Attention, intruder! You are entering territory of the great and powerful Emperor Velo! State your name and business here before I make an example out of you!”

A hologram appeared in front of Velo’s view, revealing Dr. N. Tropy. “My apologies for the intrusion, your highness. I am Dr. Nefarious Tropy, and I come in peace. I’m in the middle of a massive experiment on my end, but it requires a few resources that are apparently plentiful in your domain. I only request access to them, and I and my associates will be well on our way.”

Velo stroked his v-shaped beard in thought. This all was sounding far too familiar. “Waiiiiit a minute. I’ve heard about you. You’re the one that terrorized Gasmoxia just a few hours ago! Look here, string bean, there’s not enough room in this galaxy for two dictators…Geary! Activate the laser cannon!”

Velo’s neat-freak robotic champion Geary gave a salute and started up the huge mounted cannon, taking only three seconds to build up and fire a massive, planet-destroying laser beam right through N. Tropy’s ship…unfortunately, N. Tropy was more than powerful enough to briefly slow down the very flow of time. He simply fired his OWN laser at the cannon before it could fire, making the cannon explode along with Geary.

As time went back to normal, Velo looked visibly threatened. N. Tropy smirked. “Ahh…so it’s a war you want? Well, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.” The hologram dissipated, being soon replaced by the REAL N. Tropy floating down to the emperor's balcony, and Velo was left frantically summoning his other champions: a portly monkey named Krunk, the thug mimes known as the Norm brothers, and a land shark with a cybernetic headset called Nash. “ATTACK!”

Krunk immediately charged directly at the time lord, planning a haymaker right to his face. N. Tropy simply teleported behind him, grabbed his tail, and twirled it endlessly like a mace. “Aaaaaaaaaahhh! Someone sto-op this, I’m gonna be si-MMPH!” Not able to handle the insane speed, Krunk started vomiting all over the palace, specifically covering Big Norm in alien sludge. Furious, he grabbed Small Norm (who was waving his arms frantically to get his brother to stop) and tossed him at N. Tropy from behind. N. Tropy slowed time down again and pierced Small Norm through his beady eyes with the tuning fork.

Big Norm was mortified at the instant loss of his brother. “YOU ASKED FOR IT NOW!” In rage, Big Norm charged right at N. Tropy and actually managed to collide with him…but the time lord didn’t budge, smirking. “You’ll be happy to see him again.” Using psychokinesis, he effortlessly lifted the portly mime and launched him out the window, falling several hundred feet to his death. Meanwhile, Krunk was being spun so fast, he was set on fire, his body burning slowly and painfully. The last of the champions, Nash, just held his fins up and sidestepped away. “Nope. I’m out.”

Velo, surprised at his new enemy’s insane power and insulted at Nash’s cowardice, shouted out. “Nash you chicken of the sea! Get back here and fight for your ru-ACK!” He was cut off by N. Tropy grabbing him by the neck. “Again, I warned you.” A snap of his fingers, and a bolt of lightning struck RIGHT at Velo’s head, electrocuting his entire body before it spontaneously combusted!

After the smoke cleared, the emperor was shown outside of his large robot disguise. This was the Real Velo: small, pathetic and even more goblin-like than before. N. Tropy wasted no time in piercing Velo through the chest with his tuning fork, killing him. “Your time is up…”

He glared over to Nash, still shaking. “You. You were the only one smart enough to not challenge me. Fancy joining the winner’s side?” Nash gulped. “Do I…really have a choice?” “No.” “Then consider me on board, boss!” Nash gnashed his teeth in the air as a sign of intimidation (it was kinda hard to shadow box without real hands). “Alright, good. Now, the former emperor was housing a good amount of Quantunium, something I need to further refine my Rift Generator. Do you know where I can find some?” Nash thought and nodded, quickly waddling away to the treasury and coming back with a glowing red staff in his mouth. He spat it out onto the ground. “Velo said he got this number custom-made. I remember he wouldn’t shut up about that quantum stuff.”

N. Tropy picked it up, already feeling the desired element coursing through it. “Excellent.” He teleported himself and Nash onto the space station. He still had three more cronies to corral.

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy’s Space Station

”Sir! Dr. N. Brio has returned with the three mutants he referred to.” Nitros Oxide announced to N. Tropy as he arrived onto the ship with Nash. “Ah, about time.” He walked over to the main lobby where Brio waited, alongside a gorilla kangaroo hybrid called Rilla Roo, something of Brio’s own creation. Next to him were the Komodo Brothers, the last of Crash’s old rogues gallery. The two lizards were not quite as thrilled to be here as Rilla Roo was.

“Sssso, thisss is what you dragged us out of our perfectly wonderful mines for? A masssssive space expedition?” Komodo Joe hissed in displeasure. N. Tropy rolled his eyes. “I doubt you’ll fully understand, but what I called you here for was a bit more than that. I’m almost at enough power to become a god over space and time, but I need some extra insurance. I can give you anything your hearts desire, riches, fame, power, anything! All I need is you to join my ranks.” Komodo Moe groaned. “That’s it? Fat chancccce, you blowhard. Your parlor trickssss don’t interessst us! We don’t need anything you can offer, now take usss back!”

N. Tropy seemed to take a little offense to the notion of his newfound cosmic powers being “parlor tricks.” Shaking it off, he retorted. “You don’t get what I hold in my very soul, do you? Once this Rift Generator is complete, I can rewrite ALL of history to my liking! You could have a larger mine, the loves of your lives at your beck and call, riches beyond comprehension!” Komodo Joe scoffed. “As hilariousss as that magic show would likely end up, we Komodo Brotherssss live by a code: Never bow down to anyone. We sssstick by each other, nobody elssse! You can’t impressss us with your dinky clock collection, or whatever you’re planning. Now take usss back! You’re not worth our presence!”

N. Tropy only got further annoyed. “I would SERIOUSLY reconsider before turning this offer down. Nobody rejects me and LIVES to tell the tale.”

Moe squints. “We aren’t afraid of Uka Uka’s whipping boy! Admit it, sssstretch! Without his influence, and thesssse nobodies you’ve corralled, you would have never gotten thisss far! Thisss is all going to blow up in your face, if your planning is as awful assss your negotiation tacticsss.” The twins cackled in mockery at N. Tropy, who looked visibly angry. “I…am not to be compared to that overgrown wall ornament!”

Joe laughed further. “Even that brainlesssss Dr. Cortexxxx is more capable than you. He’sss been trying to take that bandicoot down for yearsss, instead of hiding out in space like you!”

Comparing him to Cortex, was what drove him over the edge. Out of total rage, N. Tropy struck both of the Komodo Brothers with 80,000 megavolts of lightning, leaving them dead in an instant. He panted as he recollected himself. N. Trance and FemTropy looked to him in concern. “Um…darling, you do realize we were trying to recruit them, yes?” “Yes, yes, love. Sorry, I got a little heated there. But, I already have a solution. Brio! You and the ape carry the bodies to my lab. We can salvage this.”

Setting: N. Tropy’s Space Station Lab

A few hours later, and a new, monstrous lizard creature sat up. A plethora of mismatched scales, a dark golden robe, one foot having three toes and the other having two, a mixture of sharp and metallic teeth, his arms being made into scimitars, and three blue eyes, N. Tropy had spent the time with his female counterpart and Brio to make the Komodo Brothers not just alive, but on HIS side. A concentrated blast of mind control from N. Trance ensured he would be obedient upon activation. “I’ll call him…KoMoeJoe. Bow before me, creature!” KoMoJoe bowed almost instantly, roaring at N. Trance when he walked a little too close. “Excellent. Now, let’s check that Generator's progress. Oxide!” He called as he teleported to the generator room. “A-ah, your foulness! We seem to be almost at completion! 92.23% it says, actually.”

N. Tropy grinned sinisterly. “That’s just enough for my last henchman to be summoned. I’ll be making a short trip to Dimension Ten, everyone! Guard the ship until we return.” The Scottish specter Mr. Crumb materialized. “Aye, boss! Got some intel fer ya. That Cortex lad is workin’ on a rocket ship or som’n ta reach us, what’s the plan?”

N. Tropy chuckled. “I should’ve expected him to take it upon himself to masquerade as a hero. Let him come. I want to watch his last effort crash and burn like he’s known to. His time will come eventually, and I can’t wait to see him embrace his final miserable failure…”

N. Tropy laughed evilly as he stepped into a portal to the Tenth Dimension…

Chapter Text

Setting: Cortex's Hideout

“Aight, so what’s the scheme ere?” Pinstripe inquired as he landed his chopper next to the hut. Ripper Roo bounced on Pinstripe's head to exit, slamming the potoroo’s face against the control. “Grrrr…”

As they all eventually entered the hut, they saw Tawna, N. Gin, Tiny, Kong and Aku Aku preparing a massive rocket. “Ahhh, just in time! We got the crystals, so everyone prepare for launch!” Cortex exclaimed in joy. The joy was instantly replaced with confusion and outrage when he saw Fake Crash hanging out with the gang. Fake Crash waved at Cortex with a goofy expression. “Ugh, N. Gin!” N. Gin scurried to the villain's side. “At your service, Master!” “What is THAT mistake doing in our base? We can’t afford to have him mucking up our work!”

Fake Crash stuck his tongue out at Cortex in retaliation while Aku Aku hovered over to the scientists. “We don’t know where he popped up, or why, but while you were getting Pinstripe, he knocked on the door and barged in, tons of crystals in tow. The only guess I can make is he wants to come along and gave us the crystals as a peace offering.”

Cortex pondered. The more crystals to power themselves up the better, he supposed. And it wasn’t like he didn’t already have total nut jobs working for him right now, but at least Ripper Roo was more clearly driven and had his own ways of communication. Still…rejecting help wasn't the best idea at this point. “Fine.” He stared daggers at the alternate animal. “But let’s lay some ground rules. One, no attacking me or my team while we’re on this mission. Two, don’t eat the crystals. Three, follow my instructions and be on your guard against the enemies we’ll be against.”

Pinstripe cocked an eyebrow. “Enemies? Ya mean, like plural?” Tiny scratched his head. “Tiny thought we were only crushing clock man?” Nina nodded. “As weird as it sounds, it’s likely N. Tropy has gotten an army of his own to stop us. So this ain’t exactly going to be a walk in the park.” As she spoke, Pura walked over to Nina and nuzzled his head against her leg. The fuzziness made her freeze up. A cute animal was wanting pets….from HER. Did she dare attempt it with her new equipment? N. Gin saw the hesitancy and patted her on the back. “Go on, try it out. It’ll barely feel a thing.” Nina took a deep breath, lowered her hand, and gently rubbed Pura on the head…

It worked! No screams, no cracked bones, no pools of blood. He was just purring. This felt amazing!

Cortex gathered the troops together and in a row. “Alright, according to N. Gin, the rocket is set and functional. Now, I’m not going to act like this is going to be a safe mission. We'll face perils unlike anything we faced with the likes of Crash.” Dingo and Tawna hanged their heads in remembrance. “That being said, as long as I’m in charge, I’ll make sure we ALL make it back here.”

Pinstripe smirked. “We better, my Tawna would freak out if I kicked the bucket.” Dingo scoffed in agreement. “And I still got my diner t’look after.”

Cortex nodded. “Now, we’re making this rocket a one-“ “Ooooooh who’s a good kitty, who’s a good kitty!” Cortex turned around to see Nina petting Pura happily. “Ahem! We’re making this rocket a one way trip, so pac-“ “Goooooood kitty, oooooh you’re so cute, I wuv your widdle whiskers!” “……We’re making this rocket a one way trip, so pack everything you t-“ “Ooooh I bet Coco gave you all the kitty treats cuz you’re the bestest kitty in the whole wide world, ain’tcha? Aintcha?”

“NINA! Do you mind?” Cortex cleared his throat. “So pack everything you think you’ll need.” Koala Kong nodded, already holding two massive crates of Wumpa Fruit. Dingodile brought the chests of crystals into the rocket, followed by Tiny and a metal box with N. Gin’s emblem on it, Ripper Roo and his kart and Pinstripe and his sack of guns and bombs. Cortex made some last-minute configurations to his blaster. He was determined to make this scheme work. Everything he’d ever tried in the past ended up exploding in his face eventually…not this time. Too much was riding on this.

This wasn’t just for him. This was for his niece. For his friends. For the future of the world…

For Crash.

Aku Aku approached the scientist. “Cortex, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but, thank you. We’ve spent the majority of our history against each other, trying to take each other down. But over the past several days, I’ve seen something different in you. A layer of goodness.”

Cortex scoffed as he helped haul in the crystals Fake Crash brought along. “Oh please! I’m not some pencil-pushing good guy all of a sudden. This is payback to N. Tropy, and so I can prove to you all I'm not some massive failure!” Aku Aku rolled his eyes. “Well, regardless of your intent, I appreciate all you’ve done to avenge Crash and Coco. And whether this whole plan works or goes completely under, my gratitude will remain.” “Hm. Glad to hear it, I guess. Out of all the heroes I’ve been forced to associate with, I find you the least annoying.”

Nina stopped petting Pura at last, looking up at the rocket. Everyone else was already on. She looked back down to Pura. “Alright…you and the bear over there stay safe, you hear me? Me and those idiots are gonna clobber the bastard that got rid of your owner.” Pura sat and gave a cute salute with his paw before Nina ran up into the ship.

Cortex turned to his troops as the last of the cargo was added. “Alright, are we all set?” A collection of nods greeted him. “Then fasten your seatbelts! We’re taking off!”

Several button presses and switch flips later, and the rocket's ignition and thrusters were on full force. The scientist put the rocket on full throttle, the countdown starting…with a weirdly seductive feminine voice saying the numbers. “T minus 10…9…8…7…6…”

”Eh…N. Gin? Why's the computer soundin’ all foxy?” Pinstripe inquired. N. Gin didn’t respond, he was simply gripping his seat. Nina and Dingodile were laughing as the countdown continued. “5…4…3…2…1…Mmmph, liftoff, honey~”

The rocket took off without a hitch, with all the passengers safely inside.

Except Fake Crash. He insisted on being on the outside, riding the rocket while donning a cowboy hat.

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy’s Space Station (Docking Bay)

The crashed rocket miraculously didn’t cause a massive hole in the space station. It was as if the rocket fit into the station perfectly…as if it was made with it in mind.

Tawna peered at the multiple hallways, full of loose electrical wires, laser cannons, flamethrowers, and miniature rifts that could rip a living being apart on a molecular level and scatter their atoms across time and space if they fell into one. “This place looks a lot bigger than last time. How are we gonna find N. Tropy and knock that fork outta his mitts?”

Fake Crash face-planted onto the hard metallic floor, sniffing with his huge schnoz to track N. Tropy’s scent. All that racing made the faker very familiar with how all the inhabitants of the Wumpa Islands and beyond smelled. “Eh! Eh!” He pointed to the rightmost hall, running straight in.

N. Gin pulled out a small PDA-like device and ran some diagnostics as the team walked over in the same hallway. “Hmmm, the bad news is there’s not a lot of time left before the Rift Generator reaches full capacity.” Tiny grumbled. “And what GOOD news?” “There’s multiple switches around the station that can cause a mandatory override shutdown procedure. If we can find all four of them, it should severely weaken the machine, allowing us to emerge victorious!” Koala Kong laughed at his enthusiasm. “Then let’s not keep that weirdo waiting!” He ran after Fake Crash.

The rest followed, eventually met by another hologram of N. Tropy himself talking to his female counterpart. “Don’t worry about me, love. I have Oxide keeping watch on him in case he goes awol. You just keep hold of these rifts so the ship itself doesn’t go und-“ “AHA!” Cortex exclaimed, looking WAY too proud of himself. “Bet you didn’t think I was going to come ruin your scheme AGAIN!”

Both N. Tropy’s just looked to the heroes(?) in silence…before breaking into laughter. Cortex crossed his arms and tapped his foot. “Yes, yes, get it out of your systems…”

Two minutes later…

”Okay it’s not THAT funny!” Cortex bellowed out as Fem Tropy wiped away a tear. “Aha, I-I’m sorry, I just didn’t think I’d see you get up here in one piece. Or with a ragtag team like THAT!” N. Tropy chimed in. “Indeed. You call THIS a resistance force? The mask, your whipping boy and your niece I get to some degree, but you recruited a brute with half a brain cell, a washed-up meathead, the king of health code violations, the pyrotechnic poster boy for straight jackets, a cowardly mafia stereotype, the same woman that failed to save her friends TWICE, and THAT abomination!? And I thought you couldn’t get more pathetic.”

”Tiny SICK of words! RAAAAAGH!” Tiny Tiger lunged at N. Tropy and swiped the tuning fork out of his hand…or…he would have, were it not a hologram. “Huh?” Tiny swiped again, then again and again, getting increasingly agitated each time. “Grrrrr! Stupid stick! Come! To! Tiny!” N. Tropy just stared at him, then Cortex, who just shrugged as Tiny kept this fruitless effort up for what felt like hours. Soon, the tiger gave up and walked back over to the rest of the team, tuckered out. “T…Tiny think he using magic trick…”

N. Tropy cleared his throat. “Right, then. Are we done here? Because I have a certain wannabe villain that I need to crush properly.” Fem Tropy chuckled, chiming in. “Perhaps we should give them a sporting chance like last time?” They both tapped their chins in thought, before saying in unison. “NAH!” “Come and GET me, Neo…” He mocked as his hologram dissipated. Suddenly, several portals appeared and started pulling everyone in them, leaving Tawna alone.

With…Fem Tropy. The one who ruined her life. The one who took everything from her original dimension, leaving her as a leech on this dimension, forced to be an outcast. And today? Was the day she settled it all.

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy Station Hallway

A stalemate. Tawna wasn’t stupid, she knew the moment she tried something, Fem Tropy would scoop her right up with her tuning fork. She had to do something that nobody on this dimension or hers had ever done.

Outsmart her.

”Just like old times, huh, doc?” Tawna taunted. “Feels like only yesterday you turned my best friends into nothing but bones and dust, ruled over my whole world, and ruined my life.”

Fem Tropy smirked. “History tends to repeat itself, doesn’t it? It’s a shame I couldn’t see the look on your face when my other self did it, but I can so easily imagine the screams….let’s see if we can replicate it here!” She taunted back as she twirled her weapon in a quick motion that made her as fast as a buzz saw, colliding into Tawna and sending her flying into a wall. “Ahahahaha! Come now, Tawna! It’s the end of your story! I figured you’d have seen such a choreographed attack easier.”

Tawna grunted as she narrowly escaped crashing into the window, dooming them both to the vacuum of space. The bandicoot wanted nothing more than to toss her into an oxygen-less void, but letting her think she didn’t have the upper hand would ruin everything.

Getting herself back up, Tawna kicked away the debris left and charged for Fem Tropy’s arm, only to be met by a nasty backhand and launched into the floor. Electrical wires sparked about, inches away from her face. Fem Tropy pinned Tawna down with her fork, grinning. “You seriously disappointed me, dear. Look around you. You didn’t lay a single disgusting paw on me, but tore this poor hallway asunder. Much like your precious old BOYFRIEND. Crash was a fitting name, I guess.”

”Leave him…out of this….”

”Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like had he not stuck his nose where it didn’t belong? All I wanted was to take over the world, and he and his worthless sister had to intervene…’We'll clean your clock, N. Tropy! As a team!’ What an adorably pitiful final sentence. I do hope you’ll tell them how much you FAILED to avenge them when you see them again.” She twisted the fork, digging the prongs deeper into Tawna’s shoulders and pushing her closer to the loose wires.

”Urrrgh…” Tawna struggled to keep from being electrocuted. Fem Tropy laughed. “Now, any last words?”

”Yeah…but I think you should come closer to hear them!” Tawna pulled the trigger on her grappler (which she had attached to Tropy’s tuning fork when she first collided with it) and YANKED Fem Tropy right in front of her with just enough speed to catch her off guard and land a sucker punch to her surprised face, followed by a slash from the scimitar to the time lord's right arm. The cut was directed straight at the only unarmored part of her arm, causing searing pain. “AH! Why you good-for-nothing RAT!” Angry, and less focused, Fem Tropy left herself wide open for an onslaught of punches to her green-tinted face until she eventually loosened her grip on her tuning fork, letting Tawna wriggle loose!

Once on her feet, she wasted no time in dragging Fem Tropy’s head across the floor, specifically over those wires to send several hundred thousand jolts of electricity through her weak body. One thing was consistent about N. Tropy throughout the multiverse: they were a glass cannon. Get past all the nasty attacks, and you’re golden.

Tawna grabbed the tuning fork and gave the self proclaimed doctor a taste of her own medicine. She pinned her down to the floor as she was still being electrocuted, making it impossible for her to pull herself out. Now she was being zapped indefinitely with no escape. Tawna just waited. She wanted to see Fem Tropy stop moving.

About five minutes and some flickering lights throughout the station later, and Fem Tropy laid down motionless. Tawna smirked. Finally, she got that blowhard to shut up.

”Crash, Coco, I did it…she’s dead. I just wish you could see it yourselves.” The bandicoot went to tend to her wounds before continuing.

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy Station East Storage Bay

Dazed and confused, Tiny Tiger soon found himself surrounded by several metallic crates, girders and ladders. He was already trying to gather his bearings and surroundings, shaking off all earlier fatigue. A deep growl from an abominable beast filled the room…

And it wasn’t him this time.

”Show yourself! Tiny not scared!” His lightly trembling legs betrayed his booming voice. The other beast, hidden in the shadows, could smell Tiny’s fear. It was becoming obvious that whatever creature was in the room with him wasn’t budging from his spot. “Tiny not here for hide and seek!” He soon tracked where the growling came from and slowly approached.

He couldn’t make out the beast entirely, but the nasty discolored snout was at least getting more visible. Something about those nostrils and scales looked familiar to the feline. His brain was firing on all cylinders (all one of them) to try and remember where he’d seen this before.

The answer was given to him when an electrical outage caused the lights to go off for a few seconds. “Huh? It not Tiny’s bedti-AGH!” Tiny was interrupted by a nasty cut to his left cheek out of nowhere! When the lights came back on, Tiny’s assailant was fully revealed: KoMoeJoe, the new mindless amalgamation of the Komodo Brothers. A small red switch was behind KoMoeJoe, apparently being guarded by him.

As KoMoeJoe slashed at Tiny again with his blade arms, the tiger retaliated with his own claws. Surprisingly, they were strong enough to hold an entire scimitar back from his face. It seemed to be an impressive stalemate. “Tiny remember you! Weren’t there two of you lizard guys before? Why work for N. Tropy?” KoMoeJoe did nothing but roar in Tiny’s face in response. It appeared that he was even more feral than Tiny was. The lizard swung his other blade right at Tiny’s shoulder, being met with a *CLINK!* as it bounced off his shoulder pad.

The tiger smirked, seeing he had the upper hand in defense. “Awww, little komodo not strong enough to hurt Tiny?” The taunting just made KoMoeJoe spin around, his tail slapping Tiny in the face and sending him a few feet back and colliding with a ladder, which broke apart. Each individual rung loosened and fell onto Tiny’s head. “Grrr…Tiny can play dirty too!” He dug his claws straight into the floor, and pulled off a huge chunk of metal to chuck at KoMoeJoe. The mindless bladed baddie jumped to the side in an attempt to dodge the chunk, but unfortunately for him, when N. Tropy designed him, speed wasn’t his highest concern. The chunk still made impact with his foot, sending a burst of pain through his body as he looked down to see…wait…that metal took his whole foot OFF? A small pool of blood replaced where his right foot once was.

Tiny had technically won as KoMoeJoe was incapacitated. But Tiny was still mad, and when Tiny got mad, NOBODY survived. With a savage roar of his own, he jumped onto KoMoeJoe and laid him on his back before slashing at his body over and over again, leaving nothing but scars, craters and lacerations all over the lizard. “Take THIS, and THIS, and THIS!” After a solid three minutes of slashing and skewering the deformed dragon, Tiny gripped onto his blade arms, struggling for a few seconds before RIPPING them off his body, and leaving KoMoeJoe to die of blood loss. Tiny jumped up and down for joy, holding the swords proudly. “HaHAAAA! NEVER go against Tiny!” He soon stopped, looking around until he saw the switch again. “Hmmm….” Didn’t N. Gin say something about those thingies? He couldn’t remember exactly what he was supposed to do with this….but he did know it was important. “Heeeyah!” He chopped the switch right off the wall with his new swords, assuming that was what was needed.

It…really wasn’t, but hey, it still put that part of the Generator's power offline, so task successful, I suppose?

Setting: N. Tropy Station West Storage Bay

While Tiny Tiger had little to no trouble taking down his opponent, the same couldn’t truly be said for Koala Kong, who was quite literally getting slapped around by Rilla Roo.

One might have assumed that a fight would be a walk in the park for Kong given his own marsupial musculature. And while, yes, Kong was impressive in his build and basic physical strength, that didn’t necessarily mean he was a skilled combatant.

Rilla Roo was, in a sense, the opposite of Kong. While his body was much more portly and seemingly unimpressive, he could more easily throw his weight around and pack a punch due to his own dexterity. He didn’t need to make devastating blows to the koala in order to win the fight, it was all about whittling him down.

Koala Kong’s body caused the whole room to shake whenever he collided with the wall. Rilla Roo was simply slapping him around across the whole storage bay.

”Ugh….t-t-that all you *cough* got, Magilla?” Kong struggled to get out, spitting out a tooth. “Ooh! Ooh! AHH!” Rilla Roo started clapping his cheeks (FACIAL cheeks, get your mind out of the gutter) to make a popping noise and taunt the monochromatic meathead. Known for his short temper, Kong took the bait and charged right at the ape with his shoulder out. Rilla Roo merely sidestepped out of the way and grabbed his leg, tripping him to the ground before jumping on top of his back. The primate grabbed Kong’s huge arms and pulled them behind his head. “Ow, ow, ow, ow OW OW!” Koala Kong couldn’t take much more of this. If only this wasn’t a one on one…

”YOOOHOOO! N. Tropy goons! Tiny here to knock you OUT!” That was Tiny Tiger, it sounded like it came from outside! If he could just enter the room, Kong would have some backup. Rilla Roo kept pulling back on Kong’s arms as the door opened up. “HEY! Keep it down! Tiny busy looking for friends in this pla-” Tiny shouted as he saw the two mutants wrestling. A small blush of embarrassment came to the tiger. “Ooh. Sorry. Tiny thought room was empty. No mean to interrupt.” He closed the door, not wanting to intrude on the fight.

”T-Tiny you…idiot…” Kong muttered out as Rilla Roo pulled him up and tossed him against another wall, the resulting thud causing a wooden crate to fall over and bust open. Inside were several ripe bananas, which caught the gorilla's attention. He hopped over and started helping himself, starving after whooping Kong’s ass. This gave the koala enough time to gather himself and sneak up on the ape. Right next to that open crate of bananas was a pair of large cymbals.

Koala Kong quietly picked them up, leaned back (his aching arms working overtime at this point) and SMASHED the cymbals together with Rilla Roo’s head in between, making a loud, reverberating noise before the ape slowly fell to the ground, unconscious.

”YES! In your face, weakling! Nobody’s got Koala Kong beat in pure muscle!” He flexed his tired biceps proudly, and even turned around to flex his ass cheeks before strutting out of the room.

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy Station Evacuation Area

With the little birds around his head finally leaving, Ripper Roo came to his senses (or lack thereof) and checked his surroundings. It seemed that the portal sent him to the area with emergency escape pods. There were only three, and they were labeled: N. Tropy, Fem Tropy, and N. Trance. Roo tilted his head. This basically showed how much N. Tropy cared about his own cronies.

He stomped around, gathering his surroundings before hearing a nasally laugh behind one of the pods. “Eeeeeheheheheheh!” Out popped the egg-shaped hypnotist N. Trance, laser gun in claw which fired immediately. “Woah!” Roo yelped out before leaping high in the air to avoid the laser. “You can’t dodge me forever, nutcase, I’ll make you crack eventually!” Unlike the past combatants, Ripper Roo came prepared. On his descent he set down a whole TNT crate to blow up in N. Trance's face. Shaking the soot off himself, he squinted at the kangaroo and started making the swirl on his body spin. All he needed was for Roo to look into it and he was under his control!

Roo had no interest in standing still long enough for that to happen. He kept bouncing all over the area, occasionally delivering a mean kick from behind N. Trance and making him fall over. “EEEEEEHEEHEHEHEHEHEEE!” Roo cackled as he was placing TNT crates all over the room, one blowing up after the other! The blasts were causing so much smoke to fill the area, N. Trance was shooting his hypnotic ray gun in random directions in blind hopes that he’d hit his target.

Ripper Roo jumped so high up he reached the top of a spare bookcase (why N. Tropy had this in the escape pod area was beyond him). As he danced in place, a sudden massive tremor befell the whole ship, making Roo lose his balance and fall flat on the ground. N. Trance didn’t waste a second, and BLASTED the nutcase with his hypnotic gun at point-blank range. His eyes looked totally white for a few seconds while N. Trance laughed.

”Hahahaha! Now let’s see if we can add another member to our squad! Slave, come with me to the-huh?” He saw Roo’s eyes turn back to normal (at least, normal by Roo’s standards), and the kangaroo simply blew raspberries. “Hmmm…Maybe needs an extra dosage?” He fired it again right at his face. Nothing happened.

”What the!? C’mon, work with me here, you hunk of junk!” N. Trance’s swirl on his waist kept spinning as he fired shot after shot at Ripper Roo. The blue marsupial seemed totally unfazed by the attempted assault on his brain.

N. Trance was a master hypnotist. He could make anything living and with a brain bend to his or his friends’ will. So why was this blue buffoon resisting it so well!?

Simple: You can’t really break something that’s already broken beyond repair.

Ripper Roo’s brain was warped to unimaginable lengths way before N. Trance even knew he EXISTED. It was an unfortunate side effect to the Evolvo-Ray giving him a high intelligence. How could anyone hope to control Roo’s mind when Roo himself barely could?

”Cuckoo!” Ripper Roo got up on his feet and stuck his tongue out to reveal an entire cuckoo clock in his mouth. The little bird that popped out, however, was replaced by a boxing glove spring! N. Trance was sent flying into the wall, as everything around him faded to black…

Setting: ???

When the egg woke up, he found himself in a completely indistinguishable location. He wasn’t even in space anymore. The floor underneath him felt more like grass. He’d never seen navy blue grass though.

”What the…” The sky was a hot pink, the sun was on ice (yet the temperature felt completely livable), tin cans were frolicking around on little legs and dancing, small pigs screamed with human voices at nearby meerkats who made noises one would hear from trombones, the tall palm trees had poofy jester hats on where their leaves should’ve been, calming classical music played in the background, and the stomps of some massive creature were echoing behind N. Trance. Already weirded out and kind of disturbed by the new environment, he turned around….then looked WAY up to see a fat, troll-like baby look down at him hungrily. “……Mommy.”

The egg BOOKED it across the plains as the baby chased him, all while echoes of Ripper Roo’s laughter filled the whole land around him. What was this NIGHTMARE? Geysers spat out grape juice from the ground, tripping up N. Trance eventually and leaving him on the ground as the baby stepped on the egg…

Then the baby disappeared?

Panting for breath as he didn’t know WHAT was going on, N. Trance looked around in panic. “Where…where AM I!?”

”Your-a final resting place, soft-shelled paisano!” The revving of a nearby engine hardly masked the thick Italian accent that came from behind him. It was a light green compact sedan, with a big bushy mustache right underneath the headlights. “Your old-a friend Georgio is through getting shafted, you’ve been owing-a me money for YEARS! Now you’ll pay with your life!” “Georgio” shouted as he sped up and collided right with N. Trance. “NOOOOO!” Just like the baby, Georgio disappeared. The hypnotist was left shivering in anxiety. “What the? A-alright, no more games, you floppy-eared freak! Show yourself!”

”Why, old chap, all you had to do was ask.” Ripper Roo, albeit with a fancier black tuxedo, top hat, monocle, cane and luxurious white mustache, revealed himself to N. Trance, perched happily underneath one of the trees. “I’m dreadfully sorry you’re not having the best time, but I feel if you truly wish to toy with others’ minds, you should see firsthand how twisted a mind can get. And unfortunately, they don’t get more twisted than yours truly.”

N. Trance just seemed completely befuddled. “W-why are you talking like that? I thought you were just some babbling idi-wait, not important, did you just imply I'm in your HEAD!?” Roo lifted his foot to his chin in reflection. “Either that, or you struck your head so hard you’re dreaming a massive nonsensical wonderland. I’d bet my money on the former though.” The kangaroo shook his head. “I can tell by that horrified expression you’ve been through enough. There are two options in front of you, sport: one, you wake up and we continue to duke it out, and I’m forced to utilize my spare nitro crate and end us both. Or two, you wake up, take your escape pod and abandon this silly project. Which will it be?”

Before N. Trance could retort, thunder boomed above and he looked up to see it raining…giant meat cleavers!? One was aiming right at his face! Oh n-

Setting: N. Tropy Station Evacuation Area

The next thing N. Trance knew, he was back on the ship. “I….I’m alive? What was…” He noticed Ripper Roo, just as goofy as usual, looking at him. “Ohhhhhh nonononono! Screw this, if I stick here I’m cooked! See ya!” The egg opened up his escape pod and hopped right in, leaving this space station and that kooky kangaroo for GOOD.

Ripper Roo laughed to himself, wondering what got him so freaked out as he went to the now-unguarded switch and flipped it off. “Ahhhh…” He pulled out a cane and started foxtrotting away to find the others.

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy Station Engine Room

Pinstripe laid there unconscious for a solid few minutes until a bandaged hand slapped him hard across the face. “Eh!? Wuzzat!? No, Mr. IRS Agent, I ain’t gotta clue where the money’s at, I swea-…oh.” Finally brought back to reality, the mobster came face to face with a broadly-built and angry mummy roaring in his face before being tossed against the wall. Falling onto the ground, he soon picked himself up and snarled at the mummy. “So! You wanna tussle with ol’ Pinstripe, eh? See where that gets ya!”

”Ah, shut yer bloody pie-hole, ye miscreant, and die wit’ grace!” The ghastly troublemaker Mr. Crumb bellowed as he manifested above the mummy. With a snap of his fingers, a strange haunted tree creature appeared as well. “Allow me t’introduce ye t’me top lackeys: Grumbler and Thorn Thing. They’re gonna rip yer sorry arse t’SHREDS. Then ye’ll join ‘em servin’ me!”

Thorn Thing and Grumbler roared out and charged at Pinstripe, who did nothing but laugh and sigh. “Oh, you think you’re safe cuz yous already kicked the bucket, ghostie?” He reached into his jacket and pulled out a Tommy gun. “Diane ere would beg to differ.” Pinstripe let loose a barrage of bullets on all three targets.

Unfortunately, only Grumbler seemed fazed by the slew of shells in his already-dilapidated body. Thorn Thing shrugged them off, and Mr. Crumb just let the bullets phase right through him. The bandaged beast eventually fell over as his body reduced to a few rotten strands of flesh with way too many bullet holes in him. “Hm.” Pinstripe ceased fire, wondering how the hell he was gonna get rid of the ghost himself. He was a mobster, not some crackpot scientist with proton packs or a quivering plumber with a vacuum cleaner.

Thorn Thing reached out with a wooden claw and snagged the potoroo tight in his grasp, shaking him violently before bashing his head against the nearby furnace powering the whole ship. The vibrations caused the hatch to open and bring out the raging fire, which reached over to the haunted tree and taught Pinstripe and Mr. Crumb that Thorn Thing was very much flammable.

Mr. Crumb growled and let loose, raining massive tombstones from above to try and crush Pinstripe. “Woah nelly!” He swerved and dodged as fast as possible, trying to shoot at Crumb intermittently. Still no dice. “Haaahahahahaha! Ooh, laddie, it ain’t lookin’ too dandy fer ye, is it? Ready to give up and drop de-eh?” From the corner of his monocled eye, Crumb spotted N. Trance's escape pod abandoning ship out the window. “Why, dat bloomin’ COWARD! Ooooh, when I get done wit the rat, yer NEXT, soft-shelled BASTARD!”

As the ghost was momentarily distracted, Pinstripe tried to catch his breath and look around for something, ANYTHING that could help take his ethereal enemy down. On his right was a wooden crate. Pinstripe shrugged. It was worth a shot, he thought, as he stomped hard on it to bust it open, revealing a bunch of Boom Berries, one of the few physical items in this world guaranteed to harm the dead. And here Pinstripe thought they were an old wives’ tale.

Picking one up, and with no real alternative options, the gangster lobbed one at Crumb’s back, watching the fruit explode upon impact! “Oi! What the devil was-“ His ghostly eyes widened in worry as he turned back around and saw the berries in Pinstripe's hand. “Ah, damn it all…”

Mr. Crumb quickly vanished! Pinstripe cackled at his own discovery. “What’s the matter, Casper? Thought you were gonna send me to my grave!” A second later, the ghost reappeared behind him and slapped him before duplicating himself! In no time at all there were four extra Mr  Crumbs shooting energy balls at Pinstripe. They circled around him rapidly as he tried to keep track of the real deal. “Ye only got two o’ them berries, boyo! Better hit yer mark!” They all teased, laughing at the now-dizzy mutant.

Ever vigilant, Pinstripe listened carefully at when the voices came out, and noticed one of them was a touch delayed. Tanking a few of the ghostly orbs to the face, he stopped running to inspect the specters. Only ONE wasn’t sporting a bluish glow.

”Bingo.” Tossing another Boom Berry at lightning speed, Mr. Crumb took another blast to the face, causing the clones to dissipate as well. Crumb was pretty weakened at this point. One last berry and he’d be done for. A scowl was plastered on the ghost’s face as he reached right for Pinstripe's neck, putting him in a chokehold. “ENOUGH. This hullabaloo is the only way fer me t’snag me treasures back, and I ain’t lettin’ a pipsqueak like YOU ruin it!” He lifted the marsupial right in front of the burning furnace. “From what I’ve been hearin’, ye don’t even care aboot these whackos, why’re ye riskin’ yer life fer em? Yer just like me. Ye don’t give a rat's arse fer anyone but yerself.”

As much as he tried to make others believe that, it wasn’t true. Maybe back when he was on the Wumpa Islands causing trouble, sure. But nowadays, Pinstripe had a lot he cared for. Namely, the love of his life. The thought of leaving her without even a proper goodbye? That haunted him more than Mr. Crumb ever could.

Right before the spirit could toss him into the fire, Pinstripe struggled (but succeeded) in throwing the last Boom Berry right at Mr. Crumb's ghostly tail. The potoroo was dropped onto the ground as Crumb gasped and shrieked in utter agony, his very soul being dragged downward by bright-red claws from the depths of Hell itself. A deep, booming, demonic laugh vibrated the entire space station. “ARRRRRGH! CURSE YOU, PINSTRIPE POTOROO! Urrrgh! If I ever get back up ‘ere, I’ll plague yer entire SPECIES!” He vowed as he was pulled to the Underworld, leaving Pinstripe alone.

He noticed his Tommy gun on the floor and picked it up, dusting any debris off it before glaring down. “Pfft. Yeah, pal. Lemme know how that works out for yas.” He quipped before walking out to find the rest of the team.

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy Station Sewer System

*Sniff Sniff!* “Hm. Smells a lot like home.” Dingodile noted as he smelled the nasty sewage system he found himself in. To any normal person, these sewers, full of gorilla droppings and leftover Thai food takeout, would turn their nose inside out and leave them with twelve different diseases. But to Dingo? Not too different from his actual scent.

”Good, tubby! You’ll drown in familiar scents!” Shouted out the forced help Nash, before he leapt out of the water and lunged at Dingo, taking a solid chomp to his left leg!

”YOUCH! Git offa me, ya nut!” He managed to eventually shake him off, gathering his bearings.

Nash snickered. “If you say so!” Starting up his headgear, Nash fired several laser beams at the angered Aussie amalgamation, leaving a harsh burning sensation for each successful shot.

Reeling from pain, Dingodile pulled out his own heat-bringer, the flamethrower. “Guess I’m grillin’ up some fish tonight!” He opened fire right in Nash’s face, cackling to himself.

“ACK! Hey, personal space, pal! I’m an endangered species!” Dingodile only grinned wider, showing his sharp, jagged teeth. “Then I reckon ye’ll be cooked RARE.”

Despite battling in the sewers, it took Nash until just now to remember the water right NEXT to him. The simpleton shark jumped in to put himself out and resumed attacking from his smelly safe haven.

Dingo dashed as quick as his little chubby legs could move to avoid more lasers. As long as Nash was in the water, he couldn’t be scorched. Dingo stared at his flamethrower for a couple seconds, thinking up an idea. Then, he stared at the water, putting a lit flame right atop the sewage water. Nash peeked his head out in curiosity. “Uhhh…what are you doing?”

”Oh, nothin’. You just go back t’yer lil swim.” Within seconds, the water that Nash was swimming in began heating up drastically, and soon it turned scalding hot, making him jump out in pain!

”Bingo!” Dingodile set the flamethrower on full blast and aimed it right at Nash’s face again! As Dingo was cackling and watching him burn, a deep booming laugh shook the entire ship. “What the blazes?” As the sewers rumbled, a few loose screws above Dingodile shot out and bonked him right on the noggin. Worse, another screw clinked against the rusty flamethrower and broke the nozzle off, leaving him flameless.

”Uh-oh.”

Nash finally shook off the rest of the fire and bit deeper onto Dingodile’s leg before falling back into the water.

”GRRRRR, yer DEAD, ya drongo!” He flipped a switch on the machine and activated the vacuum, siphoning all the rancid water into his bottomless compartment. The force of the suction was so great, it even sucked Nash in, with his head getting stuck in the funnel. “Ooh, hey! What happened to the water!?”

Dingo could’ve popped Nast right out and whooped him directly…but he had other ideas. He walked over to the wall and bashed the shark’s head against it repeatedly. Soon there were little birds circling the dizzy shark. “Ugh…My head…l-l-lemme outta here already…”

Dingo thought how to get rid of him…then saw a disposal hatch at the end of the sewer tunnel….

”Oh, I’ll let ya out alright.” With a slow waddle over to the hatch, Dingodile quickly held in his breath and planted his feet firmly on the ground before opening it and releasing the vacuum's button, shooting Nash and all the waste out into space like a cannon!

”What the-NOOOOOOO! I CAN’T SWIM OUT HEEEEEERE!” Nash’s screams got further and further away, and Dingo closed the hatch back up. “Tough luck, mate.” He shook all the sewage water out of his vacuum gun he could before finding a ladder to climb back up to the main space station.

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy Station Vault

The portal spat out the portly psychopath N. Gin at the ship’s vault. In there were several golden canisters filled with intergalactic treasures that N. Tropy had claimed possession of. Next to them was a massive computer database, locked behind a passcode that only N. Tropy knew, just so his cronies couldn’t “learn too much.”

N. Gin somehow fell right onto the next (and most vindictive) opponent: Nitrus Brio. “Ugh! G-get off of me, you simpleton!” “Whoops.” Not realizing who he fell onto, N. Gin scooted off and dusted himself off before coming face to face with…Brio?

”Wait, wait, wait…What are YOU doing here!?”

N. Brio scoffed, idly mixing two potions together. “Isn’t it obvious? N. Tropy is planning to erase that no-good, traitorous spotlight-hog Cortex from history. Of COURSE I’d be here backing him up. And I w-won’t let anyone, especially my dimwitted replacement, ruin this for us! So scram, butt-kisser, before I have to get violent.”

”BUTT-KISSER!? You take that back, carrot-head!” From his time at grade school to modern day, N. Gin was notorious for taking the bait with name calling.

Brio felt up his forehead, cheekbones and chin, momentarily self conscious before returning to the banter. “Don’t act like it’s not true. You’ve sucked up to Cortex since day one, rarely, if ever, challenging anything his massive ego could cook up. You've let him step all over you for years, just like I used to before I finally wised up and DESTROYED his Cortex Vortex!”

”YOU clearly weren’t worthy of the master’s respect, unlike me. I’m his right-hand man, his confidant, his most loyal of lackeys.”

N. Brio frowned, putting the potions away as he pointed right at N. Gin. “And where has that gotten you? All your creations either get hijacked by him or destroyed by his enemies, you’re v-viewed as nothing more than a footstool when he’s bored or angry, and when all's said and done, who has to clean the mess up? Last I checked, it was YOU.”

Getting more and more riled up, N. Gin’s robotic claw idly clicked its fingers together. “That was the OLD Cortex. These past few days, I’ve seen first hand how he’s grown, he’s evil, sure, but not the monster you see him as!”

Brio laughed in an overdramatic fashion. “Hahahaha! Only because his life is at stake! He’s being friendly to better his chances at stopping N. Tropy. When he stops the generator….or more accurately, IF he beats the generator, it’ll be right back to the same old 9-to-5 abuse for everyone involved. And THAT’S if he doesn’t leave you for dead up here.”

N. Gin paused, holding his tongue as he seriously considered the possibility he was right. At first, the loss of his old creations seemed like a reasonable cause for Cortex's new behavior…but it did stand to reason that the threat of being erased was just making him desperate…

”I used to be like you, N. Gin. Gullible, devoted, driven by science and the ridicule of society! When I met Neo all those years ago, I finally felt like somebody understood me. We ditched that grade school and flocked over to Madame Amberley’s Academy of Evil, and we FLOURISHED. My endeavors there lead me to invent such marvels as the Slinky, bath bombs, colored pencils, Frogger and Three Days Grace! Even my beloved Evolvo-Ray!”

The chemist looked fondly at the ceiling, seemingly in remembrance of the ray. “It was my greatest achievement. An advancement in the very ways of life…but just like everything he could get his tacky gloves on, Cortex TOOK it, AND the credit for making it! He left me in the dust over and OVER again. But when he’s erased, I’ll get all the r-r-recognition I rightfully deserve! It’ll be my name etched in history books, taught in schools, revered for millennia!”

Pulling the two potions out, he instantly chugged both down before tossing the empty beakers away. “And n-NONE of you, will get in the way of those dreams!” He spoke with a more beastly tone as his voice soon turned to nothing but grunts and roars.

Brio’s whole body began to change, his newly bulging muscles stretching out and tearing apart his robe to reveal huge pecs and biceps. The crazed look in his eyes only got crazier, his lower jaw swelled up, giving him quite the underbite, and his whole skin became green. This monstrous form was something Crash and Coco had seen several times, but it wasn’t over yet.

N. Brio smashed the vat of chemicals to the left of him, letting the spewing chemicals pour over his body. His legs grew to a size and structure that would make Olympic gold medalists quake in fear. His teeth grew razor sharp and bony thorns trailed down his back like a stegosaurus. “GRAAAAGHHH!” Brio pounded his chest like an enraged gorilla and reached to grab N. Gin! “No no no wai-EEK!”

The buff chemist squeezed the smaller scientist in his palm, choking him. Little squeaky toy noises were heard each time he squeezed his throat, making him howl in laughter. “Ack! N-not…not my throat…I need t-that for swallowing…”

Brio slammed N. Gin against the wall several times, making the entire ship teeter back and forth with how much force was applied.

Setting: Just Over the Next Room

Dingodile trotted onward, bumping into a large metal crate with N. Gin’s insignia on it. “Eh? Guess the poindexter musta dropped this. Might wanna-“

*RUMBLE!*

Dingo paused as the entire ship tilted out of nowhere. He dug his clawed toes as much into the metallic floor as he could to keep afloat. The constant slamming noise in his ears was impossible to think with! Where was that coming from!?

Dingodile peeked at a nearby door where the shaking seemed most prevalent. A faint whining sound could be heard amidst all the slamming. “Ahhh, ‘splains it.” Unable to move from his position to go help N. Gin without tripping and kissing the floor, the old mercenary had another solution.

He revved up his vacuum gun to draw the metal crate to him, took aim, and shot it right at the door, creating a massive hole!

Setting: N. Tropy Station Vault

N. Gin eventually broke free of Brio’s grasp by activating his jetpack…and making it blow up in Brio’s hands. Hey, it at least got N. Gin back on the ground, but now his easiest escape option was gone.

N. Brio grabbed one of the heavy golden canisters and attempted to squash N. Gin with it, narrowly missing with each swing.

Sadly, N. Gin was NOT a runner. If this kept up, he’d be an industrial pancake before long.

Thank goodness for the reliable power of random boxes! The crate flew inside and broke open upon hitting N. Brio’s left foot. “RAAAAAAAAOOOOW!”

The engineer's face lit up as the contents were revealed…a brand new mech suit!

Just as tall as Brio, with all the stops pulled out: laser claws, red shoulder pads hiding missile launchers, the huge belly-button laser and full flight capabilities. The best part? N. Gin stuffed the bad boy full of Power Crystals, massively fortifying the glass casing for his own safety.

All he needed to do was get in before Brio got wise and started smashing it…which was now. The crazed chemist was already trying to tear the right arm off, and felt the interior wiring collapse as it was soon separated. Luckily, he didn’t notice N. Gin hop in.

”As you’ve said before, Brio…you’ve been replaced!” Sealing up the casing, N. Gin clocked Brio with the remaining arm, watching a couple teeth fly out of his mouth. “GRRRRRRRR!” Delivering a hammer fist to the glass, Brio wanted nothing more than to open this tin can up and CRUSH N. Gin. His fist simply bounced right back up to punch HIMSELF in the face.

N. Gin couldn’t help but laugh. “Awww, why are you hitting yourself?” A button press made the shoulder flaps open up and release a slew of missiles right at Brio’s chest…bad idea. The chemist's new abs were so defined the missiles ricocheted off him and back to N. Gin, destroying the last of the right shoulder and the two metallic legs…At this point N. Gin was button-mashing in hopes something would work. Even the crystals were barely protecting the mech!

Were…they ever actually useful in battle?

”C’mon, c’mon, WORK you stupid bucket of bolts!” Brio was still making quick work by ripping off the OTHER arm, and slapping the mech all across the room with it. Even with all this, N. Brio looked pretty tired. “Wait! That’s it!” He pounded down on the thrusters and made a mad dash out through the hole, with Brio following him.

”Thaaaaat’s it, keep chasing, you idiot…” N. Gin maneuvered through each of the tight corridors of the space station, careful to not hit anything, as it’d destroy the mech.

About fifteen minutes of harrowing close calls and excellent piloting later, and Brio was left huffing and puffing, unable to run after the robot anymore. He collapsed onto the floor, out cold.

”HA! Score one for N. Gi-WOAH!” Not paying attention to where he was flying while gloating, N. Gin’s mech collided right into a wall, blowing it up instantly.

When the dust and debris settled, both scientists were in the middle of one of N. Tropy’s main hallways, Brio still unconscious as he turned back to normal. “NOW who’s kissing butt, has-been?” He stepped right on Brio’s head to signify victory. “I should have never forged a letter from Cortex to you. Maybe you wouldn't have gone cuckoo crazy like this and stayed out of the whole charade.”

Suddenly, N. Gin felt a coldness all throughout his leg before being pulled up and slammed down! N. Brio had woken up in the middle of N. Gin’s monologue. He held him high in the air, at chokehold. “It’s because of YOUR boss I became this way, and it’s because of ME nobody else will!” He pulled out one last potion, labeled with a skull and crossbones. “Game over, N. Gin!” Before he could douse the shorter scientist with it, a laser beam zapped it out of his hand, making it flip up in the air and spill all over him. The effects were near-instantaneous, boiling acid that melted N. Brio to nothing in seconds!

“GAAAAAAGGGGH! THE PAIIIIIIN! WHO SHOT THA-“ Glancing at the source of the shot, Brio found Cortex, aiming his ray gun. The chemist’s eyes were burning with hatred. “YOU! DAMN YOU CORTEX! YOU WILL REGRET THIS! NOBODY WILL REMEMBER YOU! YOU HEAR ME!? NOBODYYYYYY!” The last words escaped N. Brio’s decomposing mouth before his skin, flesh and even bones were reduced to goop.

Cortex just looked at what used to be his only friend. Destroyed by envy and neglect. He shook his head, feeling…at least a LITTLE responsible for this all happening. If he’d given Brio the respect he craved, maybe a lot of things would’ve gone differently. He sighed. Nothing to do now but rightfully appreciate the colleagues he DID have. Spotting one of the switches N. Gin mentioned, he flipped it before going to check up on his lackey.

N. Gin caught his breath, looking up at Cortex in gratitude. The yellow-hued scientist smirked. “Couldn’t let my sidekick melt under pressure. Not when there’s revenge to be gained.” He helped N. Gin up, then pointed to the large door ahead of them. “That’s gotta be where the generator is, we’re almost finished.”

With a crazed-yet-determined smile, N. Gin nodded. “Ready when you are, Master.”

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy Station Control Center

Flashing lights, multicolored buttons, large computer monitors and enough beeps and boops to drive anyone N. Sane. Nina woke up to it all, alongside a headache. “Ugh, how the hell are my sinuses acting up? I’m in SPACE.” A few sniffs later and she got to her feet. “Alright, so, N. Gin mentioned something about some switches to override the Rift Generator? Where, oh where-OOF!”

The young genius was interrupted and knocked back onto the floor when hit from behind by a sleek, industrial hovercraft painted green and purple, piloted by Nitros Oxide. “I arrive! For the fate and glory of Gasmoxia!”

Breathing in and reeling a bit from the head trauma (only making her headache worse), Nina slowly got up again and laughed. “Gasmoxia? What a dumb name. You sure suck at gassing yourself up, and you’ve got no moxie to speak of, squid-face.”

Oxide narrowed his eyes at the brat, idle behind the wheel. “Insolent already, eh? Well, we’ll see if you can run as good as your mouth!” He pulled out twin-mounted laser cannons and opened fire. Nina jumped out of the way just in time for the lasers to blast a monitor.

”Ugh, hold still, you-wait, you look familiar? Have we met?” Oxide stopped firing to ponder, which gave Nina the opportunity to snap her fingers and encase her hands in more metal. She launched her fists at the cannons, knocking them right off the hovercraft. “I think I’d remember a face as ugly as yours. Name’s Nina Cortex, if you’re begging for a name.”

At first, Oxide panicked and tried to open the nearby cell, the interior of it engulfed by shadows. Then he thought for a second. “Wait, Cortex? So that earthling with the bulbous head actually managed to create a child? Kind of impressive, I didn’t think anyone would wish to be his mate.”

Nina turned her nose at the thought of it. “Yuck! I’m his niece, not his daughter! Besides, it’s not like you can say anything in that regard, uggo.”

”Hey! I had a wife!”

”Keyword: had. What did you do to make her leave you? Get a stupid energy drink addiction?”

Oxide growled in rage. “WHO TOLD YOU THAT!?”

Nina bursted into laughter, pissing Oxide off even further. “THAT’S IT! You asked for this!” He deactivated the cell bars, and out came N. Tropy’s final henchman: a dark, primal beast from the Tenth Dimension. Bright orange fur, snarling teeth, broad shoulders, messy hair, huge claws, big pointed ears and a pitch black heart. A creature even Nina feared…

Evil Crash.

Nina’s laughter came to a screeching halt as Evil Crash came into view. The only living organism that gave the villainess more trauma than her uncle was THIS thing.

Evil Crash narrowed his beady eyes at Nina. A being that caught his eye before…she still looked delicious. “O…oh no.” Unable to even move, Nina closed her eyes in frozen fear. He spun over to her at lightning speed, only to feel a harsh collision bounce him back into a wall. Shaking it off, Evil Crash and Nina opened their eyes to see Fake Crash between them!

She never thought she’d be so happy to see a dopey bandicoot. Fake Crash tilted his head at this more grotesque version of his doppelgänger. “Eh?” Evil Crash, angry at the interruption, lunged at Fake Crash to pin him against the wall and slash at his goofy face. Nina sucker-punched the orange monster in the back to spin him around. “Grrrrrrr…” As Nina tried punching Evil Crash again, he simply bit the metal hand and starting swinging her around by it, slamming her into Fake Crash for good measure.

“Hahaha! Yes, you monstrous marsupial! Kill! Kill, so that I may live!” Oxide laughed in the background, happy to have the attention away from him. Suddenly something bonked the alien on the head. It was Aku Aku charging right at him before heading to Fake Crash and acting as a temporary shield. The next time Evil Crash tried attacking, Nina’s body bounced right off of him harmlessly.

Evil Crash was taken so off guard he loosened his toothy grip on Nina’s fist, dropping her. While he was distracted by the free space in his mouth, he got a taste of his own medicine via Fake Crash spinning directly into him!

Nina slowly got back up, looking to Aku Aku. “Thanks for the save, I guess.” “Don’t mention it. We'll handle this beast, you take care of Oxide. And hurry, I can only protect you two for so long before my power fades.”

Nina nodded, looking up at Oxide with a sinister grin. Oxide yelped in fear and started mashing all the buttons on his craft. Out spilled half a gallon of oil all over the floor, as well as a barrage of lasers, which Nina had no trouble dodging by launching her self high in the air and landing right on top of Oxide. “Boo.” With no more defense maneuvers, Oxide was given an unhealthy serving of knuckle sandwiches straight to the cranium, followed by Nina yanking out most of the interior tech and shoving Oxide's face into it to shock him.

Meanwhile, Fake Crash was busy….regurgitating wooden crates…as he ran away from Evil Crash, taunting him into chasing him. Evil Crash wasted no time and charged right through all these shoddily-made crates, acquiring a collection of deep splinters. Aku Aku hovered around Fake Crash and stared in astonishment. “How many can you even FIT in there?” With each box Evil Crash broke, he grew more and more annoyed.

“Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!” Fake Crash continued to mock him, only encouraging the monster to keep following him, destroying EVERYTHING in his path. Lights, valves, storage containers, doors, laser emitters, drones, nothing survived Evil Crash’s wrath. He just kept rampaging towards Fake Crash and shattering the boxes.

Eventually he saw Fake Crash stop running. Now was his chance! Get rid of this annoying imposter! He roared and charged through the last three boxes, not even noticing that the last box was much greener than the oth-

*KA-BOOM!*

Fake Crash and Aku Aku were simply covered in soot and left coughing while the smoke soon cleared to reveal…nothing. Evil Crash was nowhere to be seen, just a pile of ashes and his broken sneakers. “Wooooohoooo!” Fake Crash celebrated with his silly dance. “Haha, I didn’t think that would work! Nice job swapping the last box for a Nitro Crate there. He completely fell for it!” Fake Crash leaned back in pride only to stumble and fall onto a big switch on the wall, flipping it in the process. The last switch was turned, and now the Rift Generator was vulnerable. “I’ll go back and cover Nina. You see if you can meet up with the others.” Fake Crash gave an over-dramatic salute as Aku Aku left to return to the control center.

Oxide's vehicle was nothing more than glorified scrap metal at this point. With one more punch to the engine, Nina leaped out before it blew up and spat Oxide out. Dazed, weakened and on the floor, the racer gasped as he saw Nina hoist the remainder of the hovercraft up above her…ready to slam it down on Oxide and finish him off.

”Gah, wait wait wait! Spare me! I didn’t even want to be here! N. Tropy forced me to work or he’d destroy my whole home planet! Just let me go!” Oxide pleaded with the girl, absolute fear and dread in his eyes.

”So? Why should I believe you won’t stab me in the back the second I let you live?”

”A-aren't you the good guys here? Don’t heroes defend the innocent? S-surely I’m not a villain that needs to be killed, r-right?” He was struggling to reason with her sympathetic side…if it even existed, to his knowledge.

Nina was going to brush his words aside and crush him anyway…but the way he was begging reminded her of something…

*Flashback*

Nina was in the wreckage of her own self-made mech, just having lost to Crash and Coco in a battle right on a cliffside. She was coughing up smoke and trying to get a bearing on her surroundings. “Ugggh…it’s not FAIR! I was gonna beat you! I was gonna squash you like a BUG! Why can’t you just die alread-woah woah, WAAAA!” In trying to get her bearings Nina tripped and fell off the cliff, plummeting to certain doom.

”Gotcha!” Coco managed to catch Nina’s hand RIGHT before she was out of reach, using all the strength in her body to pull the villainess up. A solid twenty seconds of struggling, and she hoisted Nina back up, her hand feeling on fire after. “T-there….whew that was close.”

Nina just stood there, utterly confused. “C’mon, Crash, Cortex has gotta be up ahead!” Crash marched forward, going on ahead, while Coco noticed Nina’s blank expression. “Hey uh…you okay?”

Nina tilted her head. Her nemesis was asking about her well-being? “W….why did you save me? I was just…trying to kill you two.”

Coco frowned. “Despite what it might look like, I’d prefer my enemies to just be either gone or reformed, not dead. Your life was in danger, and I didn’t want you to get hurt when you don’t deserve it.”

”But…I’m a villain! I was just insulting your fashion sense and your brother’s tiny brain minutes ago…Then I tried hacking you guys apart with the drills. Why would you save somebody you obviously hate?”

Coco paused and sighed. “You’re a jerk, and you’re trying to kill us…but I don’t hate you. It’s not your fault you’re on this path. Your uncle pushed you into villainy. You’re just doing what’s wanted.” She was waiting for a response…but Nina just stood there in deep thought. She shrugged and started walking away.

”Thanks.”

Screeching to a halt, Coco looked back at her to make sure she didn’t just imagine that word.

”…For, pulling me up. I guess. B-but that doesn’t mean I’m your friend, dweeb! So…get out of here!”

Coco gave a light smile and rolled her eyes. “…Just because somebody works for the villain, doesn’t mean they have to suffer the same fate. I doubt you get it, but, mercy is a lot of what makes a hero.” She walked away, leaving Nina to ponder her words…and grow a light blush.

*End of Flashback*

Snapping herself out of thought, Nina looked down to the quivering extraterrestrial. Coco's words echoed through her head. Did Nitros Oxide really deserve to die when he was threatened into helping N. Tropy?

Nina placed the hovercraft down to the side of her. She groaned, hating to have to do the right thing. Damn you, Coco Bandicoot, influencing this girl even in death.

Oxide tilted his head in momentary confusion. “Wait. You’re actually letting me go?”

”Do I have to spell it out for you? Yes, you’re free. I couldn’t care less about you…but a person I care about told me that not EVERY enemy needs to die. Give me a map of this damn maze, and we’ll take N. Tropy down so he can’t wipe your planet out. Just never show your stupid face to me or anyone on Earth again, got it?”

“If it means teaching that blowhard a lesson, you’ve got a deal!” Oxide nodded and got up, walking over to the main computer. “Luckily for you, N. Tropy doesn’t know I saw him enter the computer’s password.”

A few clicks in and the map was already loading, while a huge clock hand materialized from behind Oxide. “Alright so, his current location is in t-GAAAACK!” The clock hand pierced directly through Oxide's head and through the computer monitor, rendering it useless and killing the alien instantly.

Nina stood there in shock, looking around frantically for a source of the hand, before said source spoke with a deep echo. N. Tropy.

”Good help is so hard to find these days. Oh well…” As his voice boomed, Nina felt lighter than air…

As she was being lifted by N. Tropy’s new powers and yanked all the way to his location, right past Aku Aku who had just returned. “….Uh-oh.”

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy Station Inner Sanctum

How big was this space station? Cortex and N. Gin felt like they had been walking for hours to find N. Tropy, but no dice. “Master, should we not take a rest, perhaps to wait for the others?” Cortex held onto his back in exhaustion. “Huff….huff…maybe you’re right…let’s…take five here.” The big-headed scientist collapsed on the hard metallic floor, resting his frail legs. “Ugh, how did Crash always run around so much?”

Setting: N. Tropy Station Control Center

Aku Aku stood there panicked. Now Nina was being held captive by this madman!? He had to find Cortex and the others, fast! The only problem was these rifts were messing with Aku Aku’s normal insight and vision. He was left to search on foot….metaphorically speaking.

”Oy! Anyone alive ‘round ‘ere?” Dingodile, still woozy from a bit of blood loss from his earlier fight, trotted over to the control center, noticing Aku Aku. “Ah, wood-face, glad ya made it alive, mate. Where’s Cortex at?” Aku Aku sighed. “I don’t know. All the rift manipulation is ruining my keen senses, so I can’t pinpoint his location.”

”Bollocks. Welp, I dunno where the others are. Might as well try t’scout ‘em out?”

”WEEEEEHEEEEE!”

”Woooooah, slow down, ya nut job!”

As if on cue, Ripper Roo drove right into the control center on his kart, with a very carsick Pinstripe in tow. Dingo and Aku just stared in silence for a minute. “Ahem. Yes, well, I’d say that solves some of the problem. Have you two seen the others anywhere?” The mask asked.

Pinstripe held a finger up as he got up out of the kart, trying to keep himself from throwing up. “Ugh…I saw Tiny and the broad while we was speedin’ by…ain’t got a clue where Kong is.”

A small drone was seen rocketing from the darkness towards the wall right next to Pinstripe’s head, crushed upon collision. Out from that same darkness came Koala Kong, kissing his own arms. “Heh. Sorry I’m late, folks, had to take care of some monkey business.”

Out from that darkness came Tawna’s fist, punching Kong in the face. “That was the worst joke I’ve ever heard. I think you’d have to be a full-on moron to find it funny.”

”AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Tiny get it! Hahaaaa!” Tiny Tiger appeared, holding his knees as he was busy laughing in hysterics. Fake Crash and Ripper Roo joined the laughter…the latter only because he loved to laugh.

Sick of the laughter, Pinstripe opened gunfire straight up, silencing everyone. “Alright, this ain’t some comedy act, we’re on a mission over ‘ere! Let’s get to findin’ Cortex so we can kill this time lord doofus!”

The group soon started to wander, eventually finding a giant door nearby a few broken beakers. This seemed like the place.

Setting: Rift Generator Room

N. Tropy was surprisingly calm for somebody who lost his whole squad. Beforehand, had these events transpired he’d be furious. But this generator, the key to his ultimate power, made all the missteps and setbacks worth it.

”98.77% complete. Just a few more minutes, and the universe will. Be. MINE. You see, dearest Nina? I’m doing what your pathetic uncle could only DREAM of.”

He smugly looked over to Nina Cortex, strapped against the glass window by his own dark magic. She scoffed at his mockery. “If that bandicoot could kick your ass, so can he. Honestly, I don’t get why you don’t just kill him now? You saying you CAN’T?” An equally smug face met N. Tropy’s.

”Oh, I very much could. But your uncle has given me so much grief over the years, just killing him won’t suffice. I need to BREAK him, see him crumble on the inside, right before my feet, until he truly sees what an insignificant worm he has always been. And my plans for YOU, are going to be a huge help.”

Nina rolled her eyes. “You just said your generator is still loading. You can’t go crazy with time and space enough to make him cru-“

N. Tropy, without taking his condescending eyes off Nina, waved his tuning fork to create a portal that shot out a cannonball. It crashed into a metal crate, not causing any damage to the ship or the generator. “Avast tharr!” Was heard before the portal was closed. “I rest my case. Now, let’s see if those idiots are getting close.” He pulled up a security monitor to see Cortex and N. Gin getting close while the others were rapidly approaching the formers’ area. “Well, that just won’t do.” Holding down a button, he spoke into the accompanying microphone. “Calling all drones. We have a group of nobodies reaching my location in short time. Stop them by any means necessary.”

Setting: N. Tropy Station Inner Sanctum

Tiny's pointy ears perked up. “Tiny hear clinking. Who’s following us?”

Looking behind, the tiger was instantly greeted by an onslaught of small clock-shaped drones with robotic claws colliding into him and the others, surrounding them. “Ah, piss! Me flamethrower’s outta commission. Otherwise I’d gladly cook these tin cans.”

If a drone wasn’t slashing at one of the group, it was moving up ahead of them and standing in the hallway. More and more followed, soon revealing their plan: building an impenetrable wall to stop them from regrouping with Cortex and N. Gin.

”Oh no ya don’t!” Pinstripe tried shooting the drones down when they began building the wall, but they wouldn’t budge. “Ah nuts. We don’t have time to rip these bolt-buckets to bits! They’re tryna trap us!”

Ripper Roo kicked a TNT crate at the wall…it just ricocheted right off and blew up in his face. “D’awww…” When these drones entered wall mode, they were indestructible.

Tawna peeked far into the distance. She could BARELY notice N. Gin from far ahead thanks to the gleam of his metallic head. “Roo, Aku, Pinstripe, Fake Crash! Get on the kart.” “Yous crazy!? That’s a death trap fer me-“ “GET ON.” Fake Crash grabbed Pinstripe by his suit. “Hey! Watch the suit, it costs more than yer life!” Roo hopped back in alongside the others, starting his kart as Aku Aku circled it..

”You guys help the dimwit, we’ll get rid of as many of these drones as we can!” As she spoke, Koala Kong was bashing drones against the wall, Dingodile was slapping them around with his huge tail, and Tiny was crushing them with his teeth. Tawna reeled back and kicked the kart as hard as possible, speeding it right past the hole in the drone wall before a few drones covered it up. A drone managed to sneak a deep cut into Tawna’s back, making her wince in pain before turning around and slashing it to pieces with her blade.

”Ugh…alright Cortex. I did my part…don’t screw this up.”

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy Station Inner Sanctum

”Wooooooooooooooooooooaaaah!” Ripper Roo’s kart was speeding completely out of control, with Pinstripe and Fake Crash holding on behind him for dear life.

*CRASH!*

The kart combusted as it ran right into N. Gin and Cortex…or more accurately, ran OVER them.

The trio all rolled onto the floor with a few burn marks. Fake Crash’s shoulder was on fire…he didn’t seem to acknowledge it. Cortex soon shakily stood up, tire tracks plastered across the back of his head. “Ooh, I’m gonna feel that in the morning…for the next year. Glad you guys could make it. Maybe you could warn us next time though? My degree is in evil, not orthopedics!”

”Gee, sorry, yer highness, we shoulda been more careful when SPEEDIN’ OUTTA CONTROL.” Pinstripe remarked sarcastically.

N. Gin struggled to get up. “Ugh, where are the others?”

”They got stuck fighting a buncha drones that blocked ‘em off. We only BARELY got through the wall. You can thank that pirate dame fer that.”

The yellow-toned doctor sighed in relief. “Good. I don’t know what I would’ve done if…n-never mind.” Whoops, there were those sentimental thoughts creeping in. Focus, Cortex. Focus on things more pressing…like that rift that opened up and dropped Dingodile…

Wait what?

The hybrid somehow got sucked into a rift that was behind the drone wall. Originally thought to be a miniature black hole, this rift just teleported him to the other baddies! “Oy…another bloody bruise, that one is…” The others just looked at him curiously.

N. Gin spoke up. “Does N. Tropy even have control of what these things do?”

Cortex stroked his chin in thought. “Maybe, but I’d imagine that only applies to rifts he himself makes. These more random rifts look to be popping up more and more often. Just another reason to stop him before the universe is engulfed in these wormholes.”

”We have a bigger problem! Nina’s been kidnapped by N. Tropy. I’ve been trying to find you to tell you, but my senses are being hindered from all these rifts in space-time.” Aku Aku hovered over to the two scientists.

N. Gin widened his eyes, his teeth chattering in worry. “Ohhhhh dear, that IS a problem! Imagine what twisted plans he has for her!”

Ripper Roo imagined as well as he could…the look of disgust on his twisted face was uncanny.

Pinstripe pulled out his gun to reload. “Fuggedaboudit! I ain’t lettin’ that creep lay a finger on her if I can help it! Right, doc?……Doc?”

All six looked over and saw a puff of smoke in the shape of Cortex. Where did he go?

Setting: N. Tropy Station Final Hallway

Motivation comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are motivated by material gain like money. Others are driven by fear and their own anxiety. But Cortex? His RAGE is what motivated him to keep running.

Rage at the idea of N. Tropy taking the only family he had and ruining his life even further. As if Crash wasn’t enough?

”HANG ON NINA, I’M ON MY WAY!” He shouted as Aku Aku flew over to him, not trusting the hall to be safe (or Cortex to be on his guard).

As Cortex ran, he pulled a Power Crystal and his ray gun from his pocket and shoved the crystal directly in, powering it up.

Suddenly, another rift appeared, and out sped a massive black steam engine from the late 19th century, nearly running Cortex right over if it wasn’t for Aku Aku getting between them and blocking it. It took out almost all his energy to do so as Cortex looked on in shock. The train toppled over and collapsed. “Not my best train crash I suppose.” N. Tropy’s voice was followed by his hologram to meet the duo.

”I would say you getting this far is impressive, but given your bumbling track record, this was clearly luck. A shame that it, like your time, is running out.”

Cortex snarled at N. Tropy. “Where. Is. She!?”

”Really? No snide remarks? No empty threats? Not even a hello?” He laughed at his anger. “She’s here at the Rift Generator with me, which is almost done, might I add. 99.2%. It’s a slog, but it’ll all be worth it to wipe you miserable worms out. But in the meantime, see what I’m now capable of!”

With a snap of his fingers, another rift opened. And out seeped a huge puddle of…tar? Sludge?

”Uh…are you sure you opened the right rift?”

”Waiiiiiit fooooor iiiiiiit….”

The goop turned out to be liquid metal. It formed into a massive, intricate mechanical titan with laser cannons on every part of its body.

It immediately opened fire, causing Cortex to scream and run past the Robo-Titan. The machine chased him through the entire hall, shooting over and over and over. It kept getting super close, making him feel the heat from each laser beam RIGHT BEHIND him.

Cortex fired up his own laser gun and tried returning fire. However, even being powered up by crystals wasn’t enough to damage the Robo-Titan.

He had no choice but to run for his life.

A new hologram appeared, hovering by him just like Aku Aku. “But why should only the future be your end? Let’s make things more interesting!” Another snap of his fingers and a new rift opened to let in a gargantuan Tyrannosaurus Rex, almost as tall as the Robo-Titan, and just as ruthless. It started charging after Cortex with a hunger in its eyes.

Dodging the robot was difficult enough on its own, but the T-Rex made it impossible. HOW LONG WAS THIS HALLWAY?

Collateral damage was had all throughout the hallway between the laser blasts and giant footsteps of the T-Rex. That beast was getting closer and closer to Cortex.

Right as it seemed like he was going to be inhaled by the jaws of this prehistoric peril, a TNT crate exploded on the dinosaur’s head. Cortex kept running, but looked up in confusion, only to be met by Ripper Roo, Dingodile, Pinstripe and N. Gin piloting a small hovercraft!

”Yoooohooooo!” Called out the kooky kangaroo. “Keep runnin’, mate! We'll handle the riffraff!” Shouted Dingodile as he launched another explosive crate out of his vacuum gun directly at the Robo-Titan’s legs.

”How did you get here so fast!?” Cortex asked, focusing on jumping over random spiked pits in the hallway. “And wait, where’s Fake Crash?”

”There was enough scrap metal in Roo’s kart to make this bad boy, we didn’t want you to take on N. Tropy alone!” N. Gin stated, patting the side of the hovercraft proudly…and causing some of the paneling to fall off. “Oops.”

”As fer the knock-off? He just flat out vanished! Ain’t seen where he scurried off to. Good riddance, I say. Pissed me off. Now, ya Jurassic Joe Schmoe, say hello to Debra!” Pinstripe pulled out another one of his guns and started opening fire, letting bullets fly into the T-Rex’s neck….until the robot shot the gun and broke it in pieces. Pinstripe stood there for a few seconds, then pulled out a new one. “Aight. Roxanne!”

*ZAP!*

”…..Camilla?” He pulled out a semi-automatic and aimed at the robot this time…before Dingo accidentally missed his shot and fired the crate right at the gun.

”….Kyoka?” The other three paused and looked at Pinstripe questioningly. “What? She’s imported from Japan. Now stop judgin’ and start shootin’!” Roo nodded, hopped right out the vehicle and onto the dinosaur’s face, and started manually kicking its teeth out one by one, bouncing away whenever it tried eating him.

Pinstripe provided backup by shooting at the beast's legs, hoping to make it trip. Eventually it did, starting to tire out from all the blood loss.

Meanwhile, N. Gin provided Dingodile with some backup by tossing some extra TNT crates over by the laser cannons on the Robo-Titan’s body. In no time at all, the machine was withering away with no way to defend itself. Soon the damage was too much for it to handle and it self-destructed, collapsing into bits and pieces.

N. Tropy’s hologram slowly dissipated, a frown on his face. As much as he wanted to upstage those imbeciles…they weren’t his priority.

He needed to break Cortex…especially since he actually had a shot at stopping him if he was too sloppy.

Chapter Text

Setting: N. Tropy Station Final Hallway?

Dr. Cortex kept running, wanting to reach the end more than anything…except for killing that peacock for toying so hard with him.

But the rifts were seemingly getting even MORE plentiful. They started covering the walls. The ethereal, supernatural swirls soon became the only thing the scientist could see. Aside from the floor, that is, which was becoming a large metallic spiral staircase. It was as if the rifts were affecting the space around him.

The walls disappeared, showing the stars and asteroids that originally surrounded the space station. Cortex just kept running up, barely fazed by his surroundings. When he reached the top of the stairs, all that greeted him was the inside of a circus tent.

Here came the flashbacks…

Cortex grew up in a circus tent, with a family of clowns. While the rest of his folks were happy making fools of themselves, the doctor was more interested in exploring science. He was constantly bullied as a child.

”Aww, bad memories, Neo? I guess you were always seen as nothing but a joke, even at birth.”

There was N. Tropy’s voice again. This time it felt like it was blasted against his eardrums. Looking into the audience, everybody was N. Tropy, smug face and all.

”H-how do you even know that? You weren’t there!”

All the N. Tropys’ mouths moved in unison as he spoke. “I’m a time lord, you dunce. It’s practically my job to know all recorded history. And with this newfound power, I can do just that, and better! Now I can even see your specific past. And what a sad one.”

The circus was set aflame quickly, and Cortex was sucked into another rift.

When he plopped down face-first onto the ground, he felt…sand? As he pulled himself out, he noticed a wrecked beach area. Ashes and bones were all that laid around him.

”I never could understand you. You claim to be a villain, and yet here you are, SAVING the world instead of trying to conquer it.”

Cortex opened his mouth to retort before being interrupted by N. Tropy once again. “‘But I’m only saving the world so I can rule it when I’m through with you!’ Was that what you planned to say? Quit lying to yourself. You’ve failed so long at being evil, you’re trying to be the hero just for the slim chance of actually succeeding…”

N. Tropy continued to mock Cortex as the latter looked around further. As he searched for a way out, he noticed the ground starting to shake. “But why bother? It’s all blowing up in your face already. Your past will always come back to haunt you in a brutal reminder.”

As he kept talking, two distant rotting hands climbed out from underneath the sand…attached to their own bodies.

Crash? Coco? The two bandicoots climbed out and looked to Cortex with anger and disdain. Crash had melted flesh, showing his bony arms and ribcage. He only had one eye, the other looking like it was on fire. Coco was missing all the flesh below her waist and halfway across her face. She had neither of her eyes, but the stare of anger still struck fear into the doctor’s soul.

The stares froze Cortex in place for a short while. The bonedicoots didn’t really approach him, making the whole ordeal very similar to what started this whole adventure in the first place.

”What a shame. Your ‘top soldiers’ reduced to corpses. Your passion projects turned out to be your archenemies, and you didn’t even get rid of them! I did! They’re more my henchmen than they ever were yours!”

Both Crash and Coco started running towards Cortex and spinning at him in unison, catching him completely off guard and open to attack. Up until this point, it was debatable if the two were even real or just hallucinatory distractions made by N. Tropy. But these punches FELT real.

Already a good deal tuckered out from all the running before, the physical and verbal beatings done to the scientist were taking a real toll on his spirit. If it wasn’t for Nina, Cortex might’ve just thrown in the towel by now.

Barely visible behind Coco's molten face, Cortex spotted another rift next to the remnants of a hut. At this point, that was his best shot at getting out. He barely managed to pull out and fire his ray gun to briefly stun Crash and make a break for the rift!

While running, Cortex made it halfway to the rift before feeling something tug at his leg: another Crash arm!? “Eek!” He shook it off and kept running, but all around him, more and more bandicorpses rose from the sand, chasing after him. Some were completely destroyed from the waist down, others were covered in black tar, others were set on fire, they all had seen better days in some shape or form.

Cortex couldn’t bear to look. It was funny. A few weeks ago, he’d have LOVED to see them dead…right?

He shook off those thoughts. They didn’t matter, what mattered was saving his niece and making this peacock pay.

Into the rift he eventually went, and he found himself in…his old castle? Thunder was booming outside, he was in front of his stone spiral staircase…but it looked a LOT taller than he remembered. Nowhere else to go, Cortex started climbing, trying to tune out the screams of panic and agony in the background. They sounded like his lab assistants…

The only noise he COULDN'T tune out, no matter how much he wanted to, was the most annoying of them all:

N. Tropy.

“Oh, just look at you, Neo. Huffing, puffing, slowly crumbling, realizing I’m INCHES away from my rightful place as your god. Just sit down, accept the fact that you’ve failed, yet again.” Cortex furrowed his brow, even if slightly confused by his choice of words.

The echoing nagging continued. “Oh? You seem perturbed. You thought I meant I’ve beaten you before? No, you moron, although it is laughably easy to beat you, I mean how you’ve spent your entire existence failing. You’ve failed to get taken seriously by your peers, you’ve failed gaining your old academy leader’s respect, you’ve failed to impress Uka Uka, you’ve failed to take over the world DOZENS of times, you’ve failed creating your precious general, you’ve failed gaining the love of your slightly more competent niece, and of course, you’ve failed to replace this world’s miserable excuses for heroes. There’s so little point to your life, I’m surprised the N on your head doesn’t stand for Nihilism.”

Normally, he would retort with something. A weak statement of self defense, a deflection of his own feelings, or just some childish comeback. The doctor wasn’t saying anything.

”What? No remarks? No witty comebacks? Did I finally shut you up?” N. Tropy’s giant hologram face looked more smug than ever. “Admit it: you’ve lost. Those bumbling bandicoots are nothing but bones, my new Rift Generator is finally almost ready to tear reality asunder, and you think YOU, of all people, have an iota of a chance to stop me? Ha! I guess there’s one thing you’ve succeeded at: making me laugh at how pathetic you are.”

Cortex just kept climbing. No response. No acknowledgment. He couldn’t give this asshole that satisfaction.

“So, if you REALLY think you can stop me? Go ahead and try. Your precious Nina might like to see you attempt to save her before I wring her dry and plaster her skin above my throne, watching you sob pathetically as I take the last thing you even care about.”

And with THAT? Cortex just ran FASTER. Forget Crash. Forget Coco. Forget the world. Forget the crystals. Forget N. Tropy. All that mattered, was getting her back.

After what felt like hours upon hours of climbing, the top of the staircase was seen. The scientist caught his breath, and readied his blaster before walking into the final rift. This…was where the madness ended. History would either be made, or destroyed.

Chapter Text

Setting: Rift Generator Room

“97.35%? Hm. It’ll have to do.” N. Tropy mused, slightly disappointed by the partially drained charge.

While the Rift Generator was always powering up, any time the time lord did something extravagant or power-consuming, the generator’s charge drained a little bit. N. Tropy’s power mostly came from the same built up power source. Doing that whole masterful illusion earlier with the bonedicoots took up a decent bit. Luckily, Cortex himself wouldn’t require him to exert nearly as much energy.

And speaking of, a new rift formed in front of N. Tropy, which in turn formed a smirk on his face. “It’s about ti-Woah!” A quick duck saved him from getting blasted by the stray ray gun shot that appeared out of the portal, followed by Cortex himself. And boy, was he steamed.

Cortex always had a hint of anger on his ugly mug, but this was different. He wasn’t snarling, stomping his foot, screaming, or anything more impatient or childish.

”Hm. How rude, cutting off a villain’s monologue. You’d make your dimwitted defect Crash proud. Now, if we can get back to it.” With a lift of his tuning fork, N. Tropy seemed to…make gravity itself invert!? Cortex found himself colliding against the ceiling of the room. Where had he seen this before?

A closer inspection of the generator gave him his answer: the Quantum Masks. Lani-Loli, Akano, Kupuna-Wa and Ika-Ika were all lodged into the machine, granting it (and by extension, N. Tropy) more power.

Aku Aku, having been quiet for a while, finally popped out as his old friends were revealed. “The Quantum Masks!? How did you get them? And find out about Cortex’s old mech idea from 1996?”

Still flaring with the late Uka Uka’s Bad Mojo, N. Tropy chuckled. “Once I tracked down the skittish blue one, the rest tried coming to his rescue and took the bait. As for the power source idea, N. Brio was kind enough to show me the security footage from Neo’s old castle.”

Cortex scowled further. “Anyway, I must admit, I’m a little impressed. After all the torment I put you through, I’d have expected you to fall to pieces. You may be pitiful, but you’re also tenacious. You’ve always managed to return, becoming a thorn in my side, drilling deeper with every encounter. I’m glad, though. I’ll get to break you myself now…”

While he was still on the ceiling, Cortex wasted no time in shooting at N. Tropy during his monologue. Caught off guard, N. Tropy flinched as he got zapped in the shoulder. “Agh! You’re just that eager to die, aren’t you? Who am I to disappoint?” A snap of his fingers, and Cortex was back on the ground, already dizzy from the sudden change in perception.

N. Tropy smacked him across the room with his tuning fork, the resulting collision with the wall causing the entire ship to rumble. Cortex eased himself out of the crater, only to be met by clocks rocketing towards him. He knew to start running.

How Crash was able to always outrun these kinds of things eluded the doctor. Any normal person would’ve tuckered out from dashing away from all the boulders and dinosaurs chasing them. Then again, Crash wasn’t normal.

And at this point, neither was Cortex.

Crash and Cortex were a lot more similar than the scientist was willing to admit. They both charged into things without much strategy. They both stuck to their core beliefs. They both knew how to think outside the box. They both were amazingly persistent. And in this case?

They both REALLY hated N. Tropy.

The clocks were starting to catch up to Cortex’s running. He needed a way to counterattack fast. Looking around for an opportunity, he saw a few wooden crates scattered around the arena. He could maybe toss them at him, but they’d hardly do any damage, they were just wood. If only they were heavier…

Eureka!

Pulling out his ray gun, Cortex activated the blockification settings and made a mad dash to the boxes. “Aku! Cover me, I’ve got a plan!” Aku Aku looked to Cortex in panicked confusion. “What do you expect me to do? I can’t attack him!” “Ugh, no, I mean, LITERALLY cover me!”

The mask did just that, circling Cortex as he hoisted a box above his head and quickly lobbed it at N. Tropy’s head.

N. Tropy didn’t even bother moving. It was wooden, it’d give his face a minor splinter if anything. That is, if Cortex hadn’t shot the box mid-flight to transform it to solid iron. His head reeled back in pain and he grunted out in anger, showing a black eye. “Oh, you think you’re clever, do you!? Well, how’s THIS!?” Tapping into Akano’s power, N. Tropy destroyed all the remaining crates with lightning bolts made of pure dark matter.

N. Tropy clapped his hands, summoning someone from a new rift…someone that stopped Cortex in his tracks. Meanwhile, for some reason, the Generator’s power went down to 97.0%.

”N…Nina?” What appeared before him was his dear niece, her metallic N on her forehead torn off and replaced with a T branded from fire. Her metal arms were decked out with razor sharp claws at the ends. Her hair was swapped with a purple flame and her eye sockets glowed a sinister green. Finally, she was all bone from the neck down.

”Awww, I thought you’d love a family reunion, Neo! What’s the matter?” Cortex held back all the tears he was stockpiling. If he broke down here, he was done for. And then Crash, Coco, AND Nina would’ve died for naught.

Nina didn’t move, she wasn’t here to attack him. Just break his spirit.

“And you thought I’d leave her as just a husk? She’s far more useful to me as another crony, especially if it breaks you down. Just like every single HORRID year I spent with you and Uka Uka in that accursed dimension nearly broke me down. Your ramblings, your deplorable singing voice, the way you just had to argue with me in EVERY WAY because heaven forbid a moron like you is wrong, and your whining to me EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE. Spending over two decades with nobody but you would drive a lesser man insane. But it just made me stronger…Now I’m giving you your well-deserved torture back TENFOLD.” N. Tropy couldn’t stop grinning evilly at the yellow tinted villain’s suffering.

Cortex aimed his ray gun directly down and set it to full power, rocketing himself up from the blast to land straight on N. Tropy. Screaming a war cry, he yanked at N. Tropy’s beards before snapping them back to his chin, stunning him. He took the opportunity to shoot directly at the clock inside his chassis, making little springs and gears fly everywhere. Then, he reached to N. Tropy’s free arm and started twisting it. “RAAAGGH! Get OFF me, you peon!” N. Tropy, rightfully pissed off, swung his tuning fork to not only slap Cortex off him, but also chop his right arm off!

Aku Aku popped back out and tried holding N. Tropy’s telekinetic power back, otherwise Cortex’s head would’ve popped right off. It was very obvious that Aku Aku was running low on energy.

”I see you’re unarmed. Let me give you a HAND!” N. Tropy slapped the mask away and pinned the one-armed scientist to the wall with a newly summoned giant clock hand.

Meanwhile, Fake Crash had managed to sneak into the generator room through the air vents. Nobody could see or hear him, as there was so much going on.

Blood trickled from the new huge wound on Cortex as he struggled fruitlessly to get loose. N. Tropy stared into his very soul with a mix of cockiness, bitterness and hatred. “You finally understand, you worthless worm? I am EVERYTHING you WISH you could be. Intelligent, powerful, charismatic, and a complete success! You’ve failed not just yourself, Nina, those botched science experiments and your worthless friends, but the UNIVERSE. But don’t worry…nobody will remember your mistake you call your life, once I’m at full power…”

*DING!*

A quick glance to the source of the noise, and it was sadly revealed:

The Rift Generator was at 100%. All that monologuing killed enough time to give N. Tropy full strength.

”Would you look at that? It’s already there. You know what THAT means…” He held his tuning fork, pointed it directly at Cortex, and powered it up, letting the Bad Mojo emanate from it. “Your time, is up.”

As Cortex closed his eyes and braced for the worst, N. Tropy’s maniacal laughter was brought to a halt by…

Fake Crash!?

He popped up right in front of N. Tropy with his arms flailing while wearing a very displeased Ika-Ika on his face. The suddenness caused N. Tropy to jump a tad, caught off guard. “Ugh, another bandicoot reject? Fine, I’ll kill you t-…” He stared right into the irate mask…putting two and two together. “….What are you doing out of your prison?”

The other three Quantum Masks followed suit and surrounded him. “Stopping you, you psycho! Making yourself a god AND killing two entire families!? That’s messed up!” Lani-Loli spoke up while Akano and Kupuna-Wa dislodged Cortex off the wall. The still-weakened scientist saw N. Tropy dropped his tuning fork. It was his time for an evil smirk as he hoisted it up as best he could with only one hand.

”Ugh…No…YOUR time is up.” He aimed right at N. Tropy, pressing a very convenient “wipe out of existence” button as it ZAPPED the time lord. “Wait, wait, wa-“ *BZZT!*

Immediately N. Tropy could feel himself disintegrating. His very molecular structure was starting to slowly fall apart. “What!? WHAT!? You’re seriously telling me, THIS is how I go down!? By mere happenstance!? This wasn’t a win, Neo Cortex! It was luck! You think this means you have the upper hand!? I am a GOD, you dull creatures! If you had any real intellect, you’d be kneeling at my feet and pleading for my nonexistent mercy!” N. Tropy screamed in rage as his legs and waist were gone. “I may be no more, but I was living proof you can’t do ANYTHING right! Even here, if it wasn’t for that bootlegged buffoon, you’d be literally NOTHING! JUST LIKE HOW I KNOW YOU ARE! Every time you get praised for saving the world, you’ll be forced to remember it’s all built on LIES!”

Cortex finally donned his own smug expression as he watched N. Tropy lose his temper….and his arms and torso. He was nothing more than a screaming head, slowly disintegrating with each berated bellow.

”YOU'RE NOTHING, NEO! ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, AND ALWAYS WILL BE! THIS CHANGES NOTHING! YOU HEAR ME!? THE UNIVERSE WILL MOVE PAST YOU, YOU'LL BE LESS THAN A MINOR FOOTNOTE IN TIME! I’M THE ONE WHO KILLED OFF THE REAL HEROES! NOT YOU! ME! DR. NEFARIOUS TROPY! REMEMBER THIS, AND SUFFER!!!” The molecules finally fully disassembled, wiping Dr. N. Tropy out of existence.

How ironic. Wiped out by the very being he wanted to wipe out himself.

After he completely disappeared, the monstrous Nina also faded away. Was that…not the real Nina?

Cortex's eyes were filled with hope once again!

”Uncle!” The voice of the real Nina was heard from above as she leaped down to the ground, the previous restraints having vanished along with N. Tropy. “Man, that was AWESOME. I didn’t think you had it in you, honestly, with how much of a wuss you usua-OOF!” She was cut off by Cortex pulling his niece in for a big hug.

”Oh, Nina! I’m so glad you’re safe…” Tears were flowing down the scientist's face as he held her tight. She just…stood there a moment, not sure how to fully process this.

After a few seconds of hesitation, Nina hugged him back. “….Yeah, you know what? I’m glad you’re okay too, you weirdo.”

Aku Aku smiled from the distance before facing the Quantum Masks. “I’m sorry you four had to get involved in any of this. In truth, it’s all…my fault. I wouldn’t have had to resort to…alternative allies had I been able to protect Crash and Coco when it mattered most.” Kupuna-Wa responded with a warm smile, not unfitting for a soft sweet grandma. “As they say, Aku, time heals all wounds. The wounds between us have long since already been healed.”

Ika-Ika nodded. “Indeed, friend. Now, a more pressing matter, we need to close all these rifts and destroy this genera-“

”KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOM!” A random TNT crate was flung towards the Rift Generator, causing it to break apart and power down. Ripper Roo jumped into the room, announcing his presence as the source of said explosion.

”…Well, that works too.” Ika-Ika stated after a moment of stunned silence.

”Fantastic shot, my floppy-eared friend!” N. Gin praised as he, Dingodile and Pinstripe also entered the room. The four looked pretty beat up, with burn marks and claw marks everywhere, and bandages everywhere else. “So, not-so-fun fact, those rifts started spittin’ out more of them terror dactos after yous left!” Nina smirked. “I think you mean pterodactyls, Pinny.”

Akano gave an approving nod towards Dingodile, simply uttering “Dingo…”

”G’day t’ya too, Akano.”

Cortex grinned at his friends, still aching after losing a whole arm. N. Gin widened his eyes and ran over. “Master! Your arm! Not to worry, once we get back to the base, I can hook you up with a mechanical one like mine! Hehehe…”

Nina grinned. “Heh, guess we’ll all match.”

Kupuna-Wa laughed and looked to the other masks. “Alright, now let’s tidy up these nasty rifts before they do any more damage.”

Chapter Text

Setting: Rift Generator Room

Lani-Loli, Akano and Kupuna-Wa started focusing on sealing all the rifts, while Ika-Ika hovered over to Cortex. “I…can’t believe I’m saying this, especially after our last encounter, but…we owe you a thanks. Instead of putting this universe at further risk like we were dreading, you managed to save it. We’ve been debating this for a moment, and, we want to return the favor.”

Cortex raised an eyebrow. “In…what way?”

”We are the Quantum Masks, silly! We can oversee and rewrite reality as we need to!…though it does take a LOT of power. We normally don’t do this, but, if you have any one wish to alter reality, we shall grant it.”

This got Aku Aku to perk up in worry. “Hold on! You’re giving the notorious EVIL SCIENTIST, a wish to alter the universe in some way? That’s a TERRIBLE idea!”

Lani-Loli chimed in, whispering. “Nah nah, don’t worry, if he asks for something like world domination, we’ll just toss him back into the end of the universe again. This is…more of a test.”

Cortex stroked his beard in deep thought. He wasn’t really sure what to wish for.

Yeah, conquest of the human race sounded sweet, but it also felt empty if he didn’t work to achieve it. That was Supervillain 101.

Riches? He had more than enough resources and whatnot.

His arm? N. Gin could easily make him a new one (in fact, he was already starting on it by using scrap metal from the Rift Generator).

His castle? That wasn’t a horrible idea…but it also felt like a waste of said wish.

”Like what? Gimme some examples.”

“We can supply you with infinite wealth, treasures beyond your wildest dreams! We can make the love of your life fall for you! We can bring back someone you lost before! We can even bring you control of the universe!” Ika-Ika boasted, hoping he wouldn’t dwell too long on that last choice.

Bringing back people?

That caught Cortex’s attention. This whole debacle began because the two bandicoots met their end.

Crash…that plan-foiling, crate-smashing, fruit-scarfing, pain-in-the-ass nuisance. He was always one to ruin Cortex’s schemes, or just his day. He was surprised he hadn’t pulled his hair out because of that mongrel. But…what baffled him was how empty he felt now that he and Coco were kaput.

He thought back on their previous battles. On the blimp, in outer space, in the past Cortex Castle, on that beach, several times on the racetrack…while he would’ve loved to win…he was actually fond of those fights. Crash always gave it his all, and he returned that effort. So what if he lost? It just meant he could try again the next day and improve upon his mistakes.

What good was being a villain without having a few missteps? What good was being a villain if you always won right out the gate?

What good was being a villain…without a hero to oppose you?

……What good was being Cortex without Crash?

It felt like hours until Cortex stood up and nodded. “I…think I have a wish in mind…but I can’t let anyone else hear it.” He motioned for Ika-Ika to come closer. The mask did so, and Cortex whispered into…wherever his ears were supposed to be.

The look of utter bewilderment on his face was one befitting an abstract portrait. “Are…you serious? Of all things, you want that?”

”Eh, anything else I want, I could get myself. This one’s just…the best I can think of.”

Ika-Ika nodded and hovered to the other Quantum Masks to discuss.

Meanwhile, Ripper Roo was bouncing around the place in contentment, interfering with N. Gin’s work, while Pinstripe scowled at Nina. “Uh…you see something, Pin?” Nina questioned. “Just makin’ sure the bastard didn’t leave a scar on yas. I’d find a way to bring his sorry ass back to kill him TWICE if he did.”

Dingodile tilted his head. “Oi, why ya so protective of the sheila? She can handle herself.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t worry about her. Always had a soft spot for the lil scamp.”

“What are you, some kinda godfath-“ Nina paused, and soon snapped her finger in realization before shooting finger guns at Pinstripe, grinning. “Ahhhh you got me.”

”Heheh! There ya go! Up top, doll face!” He raised his hand for a high five, which Nina returned. Unfortunately for Pinstripe, she forgot that she still had the hand in hardened mode, and the high five sent the mobster into the wall.

Cortex finally sat down near N. Gin and the sleeping Fake Crash. The bandage provided by Nina was keeping the blood from pouring out of him. N. Gin went over the blueprints for the robotic arm. “So, Master, what is next? Are we going to commandeer this vessel for our own nefarious and destructive purposes?”

”Yuck, hardly. This place is riddled with the stench of N. Tropy. Once we find Tawna, Kong and Tiny, we’ll simply turn this thing around and land back on Earth, then destroy it.”

As they were speaking, the Quantum Masks were hard at work concentrating their energy. Whatever they were trying to do, it took an insane amount of effort.

”Then, once I’ve got my arm and castle back, we can focus once again on world domination!” Cortex told N. Gin. It caught Aku Aku’s attention (and immense disappointment). “Are you serious!? After all we’ve been through, you’re going back to villainy?”

Cortex chuckled weakly. “Oh come now, you tacky two-by-four. Did you seriously expect me to just turn to the good side? I’m an evil genius at heart, the world is rightfully mine! I only did this to avenge the bandicoots and save myself…and of course, reconnect with old friends. When we get settled in, it’s right back to basics.”

Aku Aku was about to retort before a massive blast of light caught everyone in the room off guard…except Fake Crash, he was still asleep.

Lani-Loli, Akano, Kupuna-Wa and Ika-Ika all floated to the floor in exhaustion when  the fruits of their labor were revealed. In the flash of light, two very familiar silhouettes started to materialize.

It was…Crash Bandicoot!? He looked just as he did before he tried taking on N. Tropy mere days ago. Unkempt tufts of fur, baggy trousers, broad shoulders, and the crazed look in his eyes. It was all there.

And of course, right alongside him was his sister Coco. Her blonde hair, little nose, white shirt and blue suspenders, all was accounted for. They were alive! The look on Cortex’s face was…uncharacteristically joyous. He was…happy to see them?

Crash looked around in confusion, scratching his head. He could’ve sworn he was dead, right?

Coco stared down at her own hands in bewilderment. “We….we’re alive? But h-how? That blast should’ve done us in for su-“

”COCO!” Nina squealed out in instinctive delight. Sparkles were briefly occupying her eyes before she realized she shouted out loud. She looked away, blushing, not giving anyone the pleasantry of seeing her excitement.

Aku Aku flew over and nuzzled into Crash’s fuzzy chest. “My children! I never thought I’d see you again! I…can’t apologize enough for failing you, and letting you perish before.” “Haha!” Crash laughed in joy and just noogied the mask in response.

Cortex got up and approached the duo. “I think somebody, is owed a little thanks, hmm?” All three heroes glared at the scientist, as if he just told a child Santa Claus died.

”What? I just used the Quantum Masks to bring you to life, AND I avenged your both by wiping N. Tropy out, down to his MOLECULES. You’re welcome!” He seemed offended that nobody acknowledged his good deeds (yuck, he felt sick just remembering how good he had been).

Coco put a hand to her hip. “Aku? What’s he yapping about?”

”My lord has been quite busy since you two took your precious dirt nap.” N. Gin chimed in as the villains started filling the bandicoots in on what they’ve been missing.

Twelve hours lat-

“Aight, aight, cool yer jets, blowhard, it doesn’t take THAT long to spill the deets!” Pinstripe shouted out, interrupting the poor narrator (asshole). “Look, yous two got sniped by the pencil-necked time freak, he was plannin’ on makin’ his lil raft gyrator or somethin’-“

”Ahem. Rift generator.” N. Gin intervened once more.

”Can it, poindexter. Anywhozits, that was gonna make him a god, wipe away folks he hated and whatnot, aaaand yous can guess who his first target was gonna be.” Pointing to Cortex. “So, he joined with yer wood plank papa over there, gathered us hooligans and we wiped his ass outta existence.”

Crash nodded, stroking his chin thoughtfully (he had almost no clue what was being said, but he wanted to act like he understood anyway) while Coco still seemed puzzled. “So….Cortex avenged us?” She smirked to the doctor. “Awww, didn’t know you cared!” She teased, laughing as he stomped his foot in frustration. “It’s not like that, simpletons! It’s just if I didn’t stop him, I was gonna be erased! I can’t exactly rule the world if I’m gone, now can I?” “You’d have about the same likelihood of ruling the world if you WERE gone.”

Crash laughed as Cortex pouted. “Aaaaaand now I regret wishing for you two back to life.” Crash and Coco's eyes widened, then looked to Aku Aku as if to fact-check him. The mask simply nodded. They both looked back, Crash soon forming a big dopey smile, as if to say ‘I knew you cared.’

”Look, the Quantum Masks rewarded me, and I didn’t really need anything. And I thought what was gonna happen after all of this…” He sighed. “I mean…what good is there in being a villain without a hero to fight?”

As he finished his admittance, a small drone came flying through the door and into a wall before blowing up! The blasted open door revealed Tawna and Koala Kong, carrying multiple drone parts. “Ugh, finally got these things off m-GUYS!” Tawna shouted in shock and joy upon seeing her friends alive. “But, h-how!?”

Crash pointed over to Cortex as Coco giggled. “You can thank the brainiac over here, I guess.”

”Ugh! Enough! Look, I did it out of pity, and because if anyone’s going to take you two down, it’s going to be ME. Now, let’s go home and forget this happened, thank you very much.” Cortex marched away from the duo before they could retort. Crash and Coco stared at each other knowingly. It was clear to anyone that deep down, Cortex cared about them.

Cortex’s niece started walking over to Coco, butterflies in her stomach. “Hey…so, I’m uh…glad you’re back…c-cuz if anyone’s gonna kick your asses, it’s gonna be us! Your days are numbered, bandicu-“

”NINA! Language!” Cortex shouted from across the room. His poor attempts at holding back laughter could be faintly heard.

Coco smirked. “Heh, I look forward to destroying whatever you make to try and kill us in the future…and thanks for the save. You’re alright, Nina.” Nina blushed a little more, cleared her throat into her hand, and offered her other hand for a professional handshake. Coco rolled her eyes and just hugged her, not at all afraid of the metal mitts. Once she let go, Nina just….stayed there, frozen in place.

Crash pointed at Coco, then Nina, then Coco again, looking very perplexed. “Don’t worry about it, bro.”

Meanwhile, Koala Kong and Cortex were chatting. “So, boss man, what’s next?” “Just landing the ship, and getting back to our li-wait where’s Tiny?”

As if on cue, Tiny burst through the wall in excitement. “Friends! Tiny solved everything! Stupid N. Tropy is done for now! Behold!” He held out a pulled-off lever with a bunch of wires still attached.

Tawna stared and pointed. “Uhhh…Tiny? What was that to?” “The ship! It what kept it floating in space! Now puny ship will crash down and N. Tropy will die in explosion! Hahaaaa! Tiny so smart!”

Everyone in the room paused as they waited for Tiny to process.

Setting: Outside the Space Station

”Agh, who’s the drongo that built this piece of garbage!? I can’t even move me arms!” Dingodile complained, cramped in between Ripper Roo, N. Gin, Crash and Tiny inside one of the two escape pods. Nina was doing the best she could to pilot the pod back down to Earth. “Ugh, don’t blame me, blame the idiot who BROKE THE SHIP AND ACTIVATED THE SELF DESTRUCT!”

Tiny fidgeted with his claws out of embarrassment.

Meanwhile, Coco was driving the other pod with Cortex, Pinstripe, Tawna, Fake Crash and Koala Kong, rolling her eyes. “You seriously thought bringing Tiny along WASN'T gonna end in catastrophe?” Cortex continued getting frustrated. “I needed all the help I could get, okay!?”

They continued their bickering until they finally landed on Earth, the space station exploding violently behind them.

Setting: Cortex's Hideout Crash’s Hut

A few hours later, and most of the crew had started going their own ways back home, leaving Crash, Coco, Aku Aku, Cortex, N. Gin, Nina and Fake Crash alone. Fake Crash was already taking his leave, crawling backwards into the bushes. Crash saw him leaving, and flashed a wink to him. It was met with a peace sign as the bootlegged bandicoot disappeared.

Coco put a hand on her hip, still thinking. “You’re seriously telling me, you found out we died, and you gathered up all those villains, found our place, refurbished it INSTEAD of tearing it down, actually looked after our pets, and made a rocket to get to N. Tropy and kill him, and you claim that all of that wasn’t out of feelings? Because I’m still not buying it. If you seriously didn’t care for us, why bring us back?” Cortex rolled his eyes, his only hand on his own hip as he refused to make eye contact with Coco.

”…I don’t care…but I wanted the chance to kill you myself. You’re my archenemies, and that means something…I don’t know what that something is, but still.”

Crash blew raspberries at the lame excuse, but shrugged it off, accepting that he wasn’t going to admit anything. Coco sighed and grinned. “Well, hey, can’t wait to get this place fixed up so we can kick your ass yet again! Any place, any time.”

Cortex grinned devilishly. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, you intrusive little rats. Team, move out!” He, N. Gin and Nina waved them off and started heading to the new Castle’s building site.

”Welp, okay, bro, let’s get to buil-“ She heard a loud snoring sound and multiple wooden planks and nails hitting the ground. She turned around to see Crash asleep on the sand. She groaned. They were dead for a couple weeks, they got revived, and he was STILL tired?

Chapter Text

Setting: Mosquito Marsh City

Pinstripe, Ripper Roo, Dingodile, Tawna, Koala Kong and Tiny Tiger all sat down in a food court table area, chowing down on hot dogs and chicken wings.

Dingodile looked a little offended. “Nice t’be invited and all, mates, but ya know my diner is just a halfa kilo away. I’d offer you lot a discount on some grub.”

Roo, Tiny and Kong’s eyes darted all around to avoid making direct eye contact with Dingo. Nobody wanted to tell him the obvious reason they weren’t eating at his establishment.

Pinstripe wiped his face, smirked and started talking. “Gonna give us a discount on the hospital bi-YOUCH!” He found his face plummeting into the table after Tawna kicked the back of his head. “Can it.” The bandicoot turned to Dingo, a reassuring smile forced onto her face. “We can always go to your joint for food, yeah, but nice to…uh…mix it up a bit. Plus…uh…” She was really struggling to come up with a reason they avoided Dingo's Diner. “…I’ve got a SERIOUS allergy to mosquito meat.”

Dingo simply shrugged. “Fair nuff. So, how’ve you lot been? Seems like only yesterday we all scorched that bastard N. Tropy.” As of now, two months had passed, and the old villains (and hero) hadn’t truly gotten together till now. Pinstripe wiped up all the mustard and splinters off his snout, still frazzled by the kick. “Eh, could be worse. My girl’s been vacationin’ to a ski resort with her pals from the races. Meanwhile, my vault was freakin’ ROBBED by some two-bit thief. Slim and Fat said they call themselves Catbat or somethin’.” The potoroo grumbled. “Halfa my riches are just GONE. When I get ahold of that punk, it’s on SIGHT!”

Koala Kong perked up. “Catbat? Did they have green fur, a jacket and some piercings?” “Ehhh, my boys didn’t really say. Why? That someone ya know?” Kong nodded, chugging one of his eucalyptus protein shakes he brought for himself. “Yeah, that person showed up to my circus last week and gave us a big sack of cash. They said they liked the show and I had a lotta passion, or something.” Pinstripe was nearly foaming at the mouth. “Oh…how. Peachy. Kong. I’m. So. HAPPY. FOR. YOU.” He muttered through his grinding teeth.

”Tiny found work as demon mission! Puny buildings are no match for Tiny’s raw POWER!” Tiny flexed proudly. Ripper Roo tilted his head in confusion. Tawna stared as well, raising an eyebrow. “You mean demolition, big guy?” “Uhhh, yeah, yeah! Tiny gets big bucks for TEARING things down!”

”Good on ya, bloke! Maybe now ya won’t hafta sift through me diner's trash for scraps no more.” Dingodile laughed. “Speakin’ of, that Gnorc fella apparently gave me a lotta publicity. I got customers comin’ in bloody droves! I’m stacked in the green stuff now! Dragons, Rhynocs, Gnorcs, they all love me cookin’!”

Ripper Roo spouted out a ton of unintelligible gibberish as he scarfed down a chili dog, only making it harder to translate what he said. “….Yeah…uh, real interestin’, Rippy.” Pinstripe lied. Why couldn’t have N. Gin joined them? He was the only person that could understand and translate whatever the hell Roo just spat out. “How bout yous, doll face? Ya been keepin’ contact with the bandicoots, aintcha?”

Tawna nodded. “Yeah, they’re doing well. Got their hut rebuilt, and they’re probably stopping you-know-who as we speak.”

Setting: Some Jungle?

N. Trance slowly woke up, his escape pod in flames in the background. He must’ve hit an asteroid when traveling and gotten flown off course. “Ugh…last time I sleep behind the wheel. Can’t trust autopilot for nothing, stupid thing.” With an aching head, the egg got up and checked his metal parts. Everything seemed to be fine, except his hypnotic spiral was busted. He punched at it to try and turn it on. “C’mon, is anything gonna work out for me today?”

Chanting could be heard through the jungle, coming closer and closer to N. Trance. Eventually, several Wumpa Tribesmen popped out from the bushes, holding spears. Some had severe burn marks. Heavier footsteps were heard by Papu Papu, also looking a bit disheveled from some explosion incident a while back.

The tribesmen had their spears pointed mere inches away from N. Trance's face. He had nowhere to move. Papu Papu soon bellowed out. “Friends! Tribe famine finally over! Papu has found giant egg! Let us feast!”

”Oh, nice, egg? Whe-“ N. Trance's expression dropped to realization and dread. “….Ah.”

Nearby, Fake Crash was taken a well-deserved nap atop a palm tree, completely oblivious to the screeching noises below him.

Setting: Cortex Castle

Dr. Neo Cortex and Crash Bandicoot were so quick to return to their song and dance. When he and Coco caught wind of the scientist's new scheme, they stormed his castle for another battle.

By now, Cortex was sporting a new robotic arm to match N. Gin’s, and flying above the bandicoot with a jetpack.

Crash jumped up at Cortex’s jetpack and did his trademark spin, breaking it and sending the scientist off course, colliding with wall after wall.

Meanwhile, Coco and N. Gin were fighting over the keyboard to a nearby computer. “Drop it, you metal-obsessed Igor!” “NEVER! YOU drop it, you filthy mutt!”

Crash was busy swinging Cortex around by his legs, the not-so-good doctor yelling in panic. He soon let go of him, flinging him into Nina’s damaged robot mech and causing it to explode.

”Ack! Friends! No!” N. Gin’s distress made him loosen his grip on the keyboard. Coco yanked it out of his hands and started feverishly typing on it.

Within seconds, the giant doomsday device on top of the castle was permanently shut down, and once again, the day was saved, thanks to…the Powe-wait, no-Crash and Coco!

Cortex pulled himself out of the rubble in annoyance, covered in bruises and scars. The left side of his hair was even on fire. “Those infernal beasts, they ruined everything AGAIN!” Stomping his foot, he furiously pointed to the bandicoots. “Mark my words, Crash, you’ll rue the day you ever stood against the mighty and brilliant Dr. Neo Cortex!”

Crash did his signature pelvic thrust dance as he strutted out of the castle. Coco just chuckled at Cortex’s desperate attempt at being threatening. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, losers! By the way, you had the freeze ray aimed at Antarctica the whole time. Nice work, genius!” She witnessed Nina pull herself out of the wreckage generally unharmed. A light smile graced her face in response before walking out with her brother. “See you next month!”

Nina rolled her eyes. “She’s lucky she’s cute. Otherwise I’d have crushed them BOTH.” She left to go find some cleaning supplies (and by cleaning supplies, I mean lab assistants to order to clean the place instead). N. Gin pulled out a notepad, flipping through the pages. “Hmmm…the targeting system must have been really off.” “Ugh, where did you get the parts for the doomsday freeze device anyway?” Cortex frustratedly asked. “Some place called ACME. Well, I’m on my way to send a very strong letter to them…a letter with missiles.” N. Gin left Cortex alone to ponder.

He seriously had a chance to take over the world…and he used it to bring his enemies back to life.

…Yep. And if he had the chance to…he’d probably do it again. It felt great to be back.

THE END