Work Text:
one day, while jules innocently chased down a survivor to murder, STUPID FUCKING ELIJAH SONGAA HITS HER WITH A LOCKER DOOR AND RUNS AWAY.
“BITCH!” she yelled in fury. she immediately went to chase the hoe down.
after nearly 5 minutes of chasing, occasionally interrupted by the swing of a softball bat, she finally caught up to that nasty wart and knocked it down! you go girl!!! “clock that tea.” she said, flipping her silky platinum blonde locks out of her one working eye.
elijah wasn’t about to look like a pussy though, so he started HITTING WOMEN! the audacity! “fuck you! you suck showflopper!” it said, pushing her back and standing up. he grabbed her by the hair and swung his other arm like a windmill. “MY WIG!” she shrieked in agony. she immediately maced that roach. the exits opened but neither of them cared. everyone else watched as jules began to viciously beat elijah. elijah bounced back though and immediately began fighting back with the same mercilessness. “weak ass hoe!!” he exclaimed. and then, out of the blue, jules’ goddess of a girlfriend tanasha njoki walked in.
“i know that’s wrong!” tanasha started to beat elijah with her golden scepter, knocking it out. “CLOCK IT!” an enthusiastic fan yelled from behind them. jules immediately gave tanasha a passionate lesbanese kiss. “you ate that flop up ;-;” she said. “anything for you queen! 💋” tanasha replied, giving her a kiss back.
and then they left and went to a small mexican restaurant for the free chips and dip. the end :)