Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Eren lied. It's not a first, surely not a last but this was big time. No elaborate lie per say but damn he wouldn't have ever done it if he would have been aware of its consequences. It wasn’t grand or malicious. Just a tiny fissure in the truth, the kind of thing someone does when they’re cornered by a need to be taken seriously.

When Commander Erwin personally transferred him to captain Levi's squad, the brunette felt the weight of all eyes settle on him, cold, calculating, questioning. So, when Petra had offhandedly asked him, “You’re eighteen, right?” his answer came with a too quick nod and a strained smile.

“Yes.”

He didn’t correct them. Oh god, he couldn’t correct them. Seventeen sounded juvenile. Sixteen? Downright insulting, the middle of puberty, ewww... Fifteen? That would make him a child in their eyes. Not like he wasn't genuinely fifteen, but it sounded so awfully dumb compared to the famous Squad Levi. Some unpredictable, deadly child squirming amidst legends. The needed for them to believe he was something more than a weapon in borrowed flesh, was overpowering. Something- Someone dependable. Someone maturely human.

His first night in the castle was taut with tension. The squad sat around a plain wooden table, flickering candlelight washing their faces in gold and shadow. He felt dumb standing there clutching his plate while everyone naturally seemed to gravitate to a their personal unofficially dedicated place at the table. Tremors ran through his agitated body as he waited patient until everyone was sat before he took the last remaining seat, and he swore he'd felt the captain’s steel gaze mentally slicing his neck at every failed repressed tremor.

It was painfully obvious how they all tried not to stare, but they all did. Eld tried his hand at bawdy stories but was soon cut off by Gunther calling him out on his lies. The scratching of spoons in bowl was unsettling as silence took place before Petra offered the first olive branch, spooning stew into a chipped bowl and pushing it gently toward him.

“Here, take some more. You nervous?” she asked, smiling in a way that was more kind than curious. He nodded gratefully, hesitating before accepting the bowl with a smile. “No- Well, a bit.” he admitted shyly while staring at the soup, his hand once more clutching his spoon like a lifeline.

Eld leaned in, eyebrows raised. “You’ve seen combat already, haven’t you? What was it like in Trost?” Eren flinched under the sudden scrutiny. “Uh… chaotic? I don’t know, such things rarely happen every day in my case." The brunette shrugged forcefully casual. "I uh... tried to follow orders. It was my first battle, so to say.”

Gunther snorted softly. “You sound like someone twice your age.” Oluo eyed him critically. “You look like someone barely shaving.” The table erupted into light chuckles. Eren flushed, heat creeping up his neck. Petra tilted her head in wonder. “You really do look young. Are you sure you’re not seventeen?”

“Nope,” he, again, said too quickly, voice tight with forced confidence. “I’m still eighteen.”
He watched them accept it, visibly relax. Petra grinned. “Well,” she said slowly, leaning her elbow on the table, “if you're eighteen, then we’ve got no excuse to go easy on you, man.”

That was how it started. They teased him about his boyish face, about the way his voice cracked when he got too passionate in drills, and even Captain Levi joined in once with his dry sarcasm making the whole squad erupt in laughter.

“Eighteen..." the captain mused, nudging the brunette analytically with the hilt of their blade. "You’re still green behind the ears, brat. You may drink and fuck your way through life with that number, but the titans won't care about that.” he’d muttered one evening when Eren had tripped over his own gear during practice. “We should tie some bells to you like a fucking kitten.”

Petra had chuckled and nudged Eren with her shoulder. “Don’t worry, he doesn't mean it that way. He still looks twenty when he scowls like that.” That earned her a sharp glare, to which she smiled sweetly and said, “I mean, Captain, for someone your age, you’re holding on to youth remarkably well.” The addressed man merely rolled his eyes before walking away, muttering something about sunlight and aging.

The titan-shifter's eyes traced after the man in confusion before he felt soft breathing brushing his ear. Petra had leaned in again on him, now cupping her mouth like sharing a secret. "He's thirty-five, that old man." she chuckled before returning to buckling up her own gear again.
Eren blinked. Thirty-five?!

He managed not to sputter, but his heart leapt up to his throat. Thirty-five? He'd surely assumed Levi was... older than him, he logically had to be, but not twice his age. For a short moment Eren even questioned if he was the only one here lying about his age but dismissed the suspicion at what he saw next.

He glanced at the captain, suddenly seeing the tiny creases near his eyes, the wear in his gaze. Yet the captain's movements were lithe, precise. Unyielding.

Okay, so thirty-five wasn't sixty so it seemed more and more believable.

Later that day, someone mentioned the younger cadets soon arrival which perked Eren’s interest. Opinions were shared about some of the cadets joined the Scouts barely being sixteen, some not even that. Petra’s voice was soft. “The registration unit is... unbelievably inconsequent." She huffed angrily. "They catch them young, using trauma to fuel their determination." Gunther nodded in sympathy. "Kids come here hoping to be heroes, and half of them don’t last a year.”

That night, Eren lay in his bedroll staring at the ceiling, guilt clawing at his ribs. He thought of correcting the lie. He thought so hard; Armin would be proud to see him going through every possible scenario. But the way Petra had smiled, the way Eld and Gunther clapped him on the shoulder, the way Levi had looked at him, appraising, but not dismissive, it was too much to lose.

Then the 57th expedition came. And everything changed.

Eld. Gunther. Oluo. Petra.

Gone.

He didn’t know how to breathe in the days that followed. And Levi... He looked at him with a kind of silence that wasn’t just grief. It was recognition. Eren was all that was left of that brief, fleeting version of the man's squad. The only thread still attached to the names now buried half eaten under twisted trees and rotting titans. In the days that followed they didn’t talk much, but the captain’s eyes tracked Eren differently now and more profound. Not with suspicion or wariness, but with a guarded kind of trust that reminded Eren of the man that once stood, facing his own comrades, to shield the young shifter from their blades.

____________________

The new squad formed in no time. Reiner, Sasha, Marko, Armin, Mikasa and even Jean.

It was still never quite the same, but sometimes, on long rides between missions, Levi would ride beside him, booted feet covered in dust, and ask things like, “You sleeping alright?” or “Did you eat anything this morning?”

They weren’t orders. They were... something else.
On a chilled spring evening, the squad camped near the ruins of an old outpost. Eren sat between Jean and Armin, hunched over his ration and half-dozing when Levi reappeared with a small metal cup and held it out. “Tea, it's fruit.” he explained bluntly. “It’s not garbage. Try it.”

Eren blinked at the offering, hesitant. His widened eyes sparkled up at the captain’s offer before he carefully took it in both hands. “Thanks… sir?” Levi shrugged before quickly shying away from the younger's gaze. “Don’t. I just know you like that flavour." he mumbled. "Petra would’ve told me off for pushing it on you. She said I was ‘militantly addicted.’” There was a flash of something unreadable in his eyes. Grief, maybe. Or a joke woven with memory. The raven-haired man left without waiting for Eren’s reply, who turned the cup in his hands.

“Holy shit...” Jean muttered beside him. “He brought you tea, dude?” Even Armin raised an eyebrow. “That’s... kind of nice, isn’t it? Nice in 'uncharacteristically kind' for someone like the captain.”

“I- I don’t know. He’s always like that.” Eren mumbled, flustered while nibbling at his tea. It was apple flavoured. “No.” Armin reasoned carefully. “He’s not.” Jean merely smirked smugly. “I think you’re his favourite, Jaeger. Bet you would do extra chores just do crawl even further up his ass.” he laughed at the brunette's disgusted face, proud of his accomplishment. "But on further notice... I bet you're the type who'd like him up your ass even more."

Deep crimson flushed Eren’s face, his shoulders raising steadily up to his ears. His fists shook in fury. Scorching glares found Jean's smug face. “Shut up, horseface. I don't!" he tried to calm but couldn't. Suddenly he had an idea. "Hah! Jealous I wouldn't choose you?”

Armin besides him bursted out laughing but later on kept smiling knowingly. “You’re the only thing left of them, the Levi Squad I mean, you know? I think that means something to him.” Eren looked down at the tea again, the cup warm from Levi’s hands. Maybe Armin was right. Maybe Levi saw something in him. Not the weapon, not the liability, but the boy Petra teased, the boy who Eld liked to brag to and the boy who'd throw motivational quotes at everybody who wanted to quit during the weekly cleanings.

_____________

It got worse.

The burden of a lie, no matter how small, grows heavier the longer it’s carried. For Eren, six months felt like a crushing lifetime and even his own internal whining began to annoy himself. He hadn’t meant for it to last. By the Walls, he had never been a good liar and that's why he'd never kept it up for more than a day, maximum three!

Petra had believed it, Eld had teased him for it, and Gunther had ruffled his hair the way older brothers do when the younger insists on being seen as grown. They were all gone now, but their memory clung to the lie like ghosts. Guilt marred his inwit at night. And worst of all? The captain never questioned it. Why? How?! Eren had firmly set his bet on the captain’s impeccable sharp wit and sagacity. But no, the poor man accepted Eren’s false eighteen as fact, and worse, he built his trust atop it. And Eren, coward that he was, couldn’t find the courage to tear it down.

Soon it became second nature, protecting his fiction. He interrupted Jean whenever his friend teased him about being a “baby-faced idiot.” He redirected Armin’s musings of all their upcoming birthdays, and he even once threw a fork across the mess hall to break Sasha’s attention before she casually mentioned their first year of training. If Levi ever noticed the odd deflections, he said nothing.

Still, life in the new squad carried forward. It was nice to see all his friends again and to watch an actual dynamic form. Trust bloomed in little moments like collectively stealing more dessert and in familiar routines like their monthly unofficially excursion to the tavern in the next town. It resembled a certain comfort that clung like warmth around their presence and the brunette found himself seeking that warmth.

That morning, during drills, Mikasa launched at him with her usual unrelenting force. The shifter tried to block, pivot, counter, but her fists sang past his head two more times before he could even raise his arms. A final kick at his spine and he landed flat on his back, the breath knocked straight out of his lungs.

"By the Walls dammit, it's training, Mika! Not war, so slow down!" He grumble while brushing some dust off his shirt. "You could have killed me, dammit..." Mikasa seemed less bothered, her gaze passing his to focus on someone in the distance, "I want you to be strong, but you're still so weak. What do you think will happen when the female titans shows up again and I'm not with you?" Eren merely rolled his eyes, regretting his attempt at arguing with his sister's oddly twisted god complex. He should be the one asking her that!

Suddenly their captain’s voice cracked through the training field. “The fuck was that, Jaeger?!" Eren flinched on reflex at that sharp tone, while his sister to a step forward, shielding his crouching form on the ground.

"Step aside, Ackerman.”

Mikasa hesitated, narrowed eyes flicking between her brother and her captain, but she obeyed, retreating with tightly clenched fists. The raven-haired man stepped into their 'ring', eyes cool and unamused. “You’re too slow with your core rotation. I’ve already told you that. And watch your damn defence, brat.”

“But, sir, I’m trying—” “Try harder.”

They began again. Levi’s movements were smooth, purposeful. Eren managed to counter a few, but the gap in their skill was painfully obvious. And yet... he could see it, feel it. Levi was holding back. He let strikes land lightly, deflected slowly, allowed mistakes to pass. Just enough pressure to teach, never enough to end the fight. The brunette landed a few lucky strikes himself but even he knew he'd at least three times now let the captain get past his defence by accident. Still the other man appeared determined enough to drag the younger's suffering out for a bit, almost resolute to not let their combat end yet. The thought stung and warmed all at once. Armin’s voice echoed from a week earlier: “I think you’re his favourite.”

Eren had laughed then. But now, under the weight of Levi’s eyes, he wasn’t so sure it was a joke. The illusion shattered when Levi’s boot struck with full force, catching Eren square in the waist. Pain flared through his body like white fire. Moaning in agony, the titan-shifter crumpled to the ground, a strangled grunt leaving his lips as his limbs gave out like a marionette dropped mid-performance. His hands clutched his left side tightly as he sunk to his knees, eyes firmly trained on the captain. "Oh fuck..." He lay there, gasping, until Levi knelt beside him.

"Oi, titan-baby, stop whimpering like some child!" the older man huffed. Strangely, Eren felt hands running up and down his body, patting his for injuries. He almost called Mikasa out on her overprotectively weird mother complex when he realized said hands were attached to a very much non-sister looking corporal. His mouth snapped shut.

“Tch! Eld and Gunther were right.” Levi stated quite frankly. Eren tensed. "O- Oh yeah? With what?"

“They always said you tried too hard to seem older. But now and then, you do something that reminds me…” His gaze softened briefly. “You might as well be sixteen. Pff! Skills come with age, but you idiot obviously skipped a few. Lazy brat.”, the captain mumbled.

Eren blinked, breathless. Then, to his own surprise, he laughed, a raw, winded sound.
“Oh yeah, no I get that a lot. Guess I should thank my genes.” he rasped. “At least being taller helps.” Then he went serious, "But I'll train harder, sir. I promise." Levi huffed through his nose and offered a hand. "Sure thing, kid." Eren took it without thinking, the captain’s grip firm.

That evening, after dinner, Eren wandered the corridor alone, still sore, still flushed from the earlier incident. The captain appeared from the shadows like he always did, quiet and inevitable.
“Jeager.” Panic and warmth flooded the shifter at once. "My office. Now.”

Eren followed swiftly, heartbeat traitorous in his chest. Inside Levi’s office, the space was quiet and lit by amber lamplight. The older man gestured vaguely toward a chair while settling in his own at the desk. His elbows leaning on the wooden surface, hands clasped together. "You know why your here?" he asked, one eyebrow raised expectantly as he literally wallowed in the boys panicked squirming with every passing second. "No?" he asked mockingly, "Well, since I'm the poor baster in charge of you... uh, I need to hear about your last experiment with Hanji for the report. She might be the research leader but I'm still your-” his words seemed to fade at the end until he paused with a subtle oddly pained expression. "...your guardian." The brunette got the feeling the captain disliked the title.

Eren simply nodded, quickly recounting the findings. How quickly the skin reformed, how long the pain lingered afterward.

"... and if you amputate my leg from the hip downward it will take around an hour until it's fully regrown. And uh... my eyes take about twelve minutes. Oh, but only on one eye! If Hanji pokes them both out at once they take up to twenty minutes and there's a looot of steam. It- It still hurt though all the time, even during and after healing. I guess healed doesn't mean cured pain-free." The words came easily now. The fear that once tightened his throat when speaking to his captain, his childhood hero, had long since dulled into something else, something warm, reverent.

“She tries not to make me scream.” Eren chuckled, almost conversationally while fumbling with his shirt. “But sometimes it happens anyway. My vocal cords ache for days, but I can't repress them. My jaw locks from clenching it shut- Oh that's actually why I also wanted to talk to you, sir. For not fighting hard enough this morning." His face twisted uncomfortably at the memory. His eyes unwillingly wandered down to his hands clasping the fabric of his white jeans. "...m- my arms always feel weird the hour after having them cut off and being regenerated. I need to work on my muscle control after such things captain Hanji says. So... yes, I'm sorry, sir.” The words felt odd as he said them and stopped to look up then, meeting his superior’s blank gaze, widened eyes staring him down.

The captain’s face was carved from stone, stoic, distant but the furrow between his brows betrayed him. Just a little. When no words followed his captain’s odd expression the brunette went on, falling into a panic-induced ramble.

“I regenerate quickly! So, I'm actually useful, I swear I usually don't complain that much. It's not that it's unbearable so I guess I'm exaggerating my anguish a tad.” he offered, shrugging like it was of no importance. “That’s why they push so hard. I can handle it. I’m not-” Levi’s lips thinned. He placed the quill down carefully, deliberately, folding his hands on the desk. “You could’ve told me sooner, Eren.” he mused, voice low and clipped. “I could speak with Hanji. Set boundaries.”

“No.”

The captain’s brows shot up in mild surprise. Eren shook his head, vehement. “No, it’s not her fault! I told her she could. I have to. It’s my duty, sir, I know. If they can learn anything... anything at all, it’s worth it.”

“Don’t give me that noble bullshit.” The other man huffed, the edge of steel slipping into his voice. “You think being willing at your own dissection makes it less inhumane?” The boy smiled bitterly. “You think I’m human?”

The silence felt heavy between them. Levi’s hands twitched as if to reach for something, then stopped. He leaned back, eyes narrowing with something like frustration, or was it sorrow?
“You’re not a monster, Eren.”

They stayed quiet for a while until the curfew bell rang faintly outside.

“Thank you, sir. I should go now.” Eren said quickly, rising hurriedly but Levi stopped him. A hand shot out to grab the boy's frontal leather strap. Without a word, he was led to the nearby couch. Firm hand pushed him into the cushions as he watched the captain turn and producing a bottle of amber liquid from the bottom cabinet. "Look, Eren-" the raven-haired man huffed in frustration before pinching the bridge of his nose and exhaling softly. “It' been a tough day for you, no? You want some whiskey?” he asked, already reaching for a glass.

Eren froze, hand shaking in denial. “Uh- no. I- I mean, I shouldn’t. My mom would’ve killed me if I drank at-” The words slipped before he could bite them back.

He stiffened. Idiot.

There was a pause, a quiet stretch of time that felt like a chasm. “I mean- eighteen. So early in life...” Eren corrected quickly, heart pounding. “She would’ve killed me if I started drinking at eighteen.”

Levi arched a brow but said nothing. Eren swallowed thickly as the captain sat down beside him, their legs nearly touching. The captain gave a small, sarcastic snort. “Suit yourself. More for me.” Then, almost too casually, he added, “You lot are all too young to be doing this shit anyways. Bunch of sixteen-year-olds waving blades at Titans like it’s a game.” He shot Eren an almost dirty look from the side and smirked. "And don't think I didn't notice you lot creeping out like rats now and then. Good thing I only got you as my charge and not the whole pack." Steel grey eyes wandered lost around the room as he continued, "I heard Connie and Jean vomiting up their dinner last time and even fucking Sasha and Historia were blacked out drunk laying in their cots last week. Be sure that when I find you in such extreme state, I'm gonna whoop your ass. Eighteen or not."

Eren let out a weak laugh, tension still thrumming beneath his skin. "Never, uh absolutely not..." “Good. You’re the oldest of your pathetic little troop, you know? So you should know better.” Levi said dryly, pouring them both a cup of tea instead. “The only adult. Hardly an achievement.”

Eren relaxed marginally at the topic change, but when he turned to take the other offered cup from the captain, Levi didn’t pull away. Instead, the captain placed the cup in his hand and reached around him, one arm looping slowly across Eren’s shoulders. His palm settled just below Eren’s nape, thumb brushing the side of his neck in slow, thoughtful strokes.
Eren froze.

It wasn’t sudden, or inappropriate. It was quiet. It was- ...oddly soothing.

He’d dreamed of this kind of closeness in secret corners of his heart since he was thirteen, before he even understood the weight of it. Levi Ackerman had been a force of nature then, something distant and invincible. Now, Levi was warmth and tea and soft sarcasm. He was steady hands and weirdly violent threats. He was… everything Eren had never dared hope for.
“Comfortable?” The older asked, feigning disinterest, his words barely above a whisper.

Eren nodded. He didn’t trust his voice.
Levi’s thumb moved again, slow and deliberate, drawing small circles as if grounding him. “You’re still young.” the captain said, almost to himself. “But you carry the weight of humanity like someone twice your age.”

Eren bit back the truth. He only leaned slightly into the touch, letting himself sink for just a moment into the feeling of being held. Not as a soldier, not as a weapon, but as something precious.

Something human.

_________________

They've been meeting in secret for some time now. The biweekly 'office cleaning" became the epitome of their month, something to look forward to in such dark times.

The captain’s office was warm, the air thick with the scent of dried tea leaves and old paper. Its owner's composure spoke of serenity and contentment while Eren’s quiet form sank into the couch cushions next to him that had gradually become his place. There, the war faded just a little. There, Eren wasn’t the titan-shifter, humanity’s last gamble. He was simply Eren, and the squad leader was simply... well, still his captain but within an odd exceptions range.

That evening Eren had, like the past 4 months, sneaked his way past Mikasa and Armin in order to head to his 'cleaning' with the captain. And that's where their ritual began:

Levi would always offer alcohol with a faint smirk. Today a glass of mulled wine, next week a sip of aged whiskey, the following a too-sweet cherry rum. And Eren, as always, would politely decline, sometimes flustered, sometimes amused. It would have been inconsequential—an idle gesture, if not for the way Levi would then reach wordlessly into a small drawer and cross something off a folded paper, always careful to tilt the page just out of the younger’s sight.

He had noticed, of course. Levi wasn’t quite as subtle as he imagined himself to be. Observant in ways born of both admiration and quiet yearning, Eren had pieced the truth together with a fluttering in his chest he couldn’t suppress.
It was a list. A list of drinks, probably things Levi imagined Eren might enjoy. Probably things he wanted to share. He never offered the same drink twice. Eren never asked about it.

There were other patterns too, newer ones, softer ones. Somewhere along the line, Levi had stopped just throwing an arm lazily around the younger's shoulders past curfew. Now, his hand would often rest on Eren’s knee, fingers curled lightly, thumb moving in thoughtful, almost reverent circles. An ill-guided move or a miscalculated placement would lead to the captain’s hand accidentally brushing his thigh on few occasions during his stay before ultimately coming to rest on it without a drawback.

Sometimes that touch would travel upward, slow and unhurried, resting every time just a bit higher on his thigh. Not possessive. Not demanding. Simply there. Softly huffed curses could be heard whenever the captain overestimated his own movements and drew his hand back down a few inches while acting suspiciously casually.
It wasn’t overt, neither discussed.

As their conversations faded into whispers and the walls of the confined room held the hush of late hour confidences, something swelled between them.

It was during one such evening, the teapot gone lukewarm and the stars outside blinking low, that Eren confessed. On his part it felt more like a compulsion than a choice, urged by the need to reciprocate some intimacy.

Green eyes sparkled up over the rim of his teacup to muster the older man in quiet adoration. “I used to idolize you.” he spoke softly as blood rush to his head, eyes on the curve of Levi’s fingers, not brave enough to meet his gaze. “When I was younger. N- not that I don't do now, but- uh... Before I even joined the scouts. You were the only one who seemed untouchable.” Eren smiled at the memory.

The older man said nothing for a long moment, contemplating his next words. Then, with a breath that sounded more like a sigh of surrender than surprise, he replied, “And now?”
Eren glanced up at the other's hesitant wording.

Levi’s mouth was tilted in something not quite a smile. Grey eyes fixed green one's with flickers of fear and hope. “Still think I’m untouchable?” Tired orbs wandered around the room, avoiding the adorable boy at all cost.

“No.” Eren whispered, causing an almost fearful intake from the man beside him. "Guess I deserved as much. I'm not that great anyw-"

“You’re very… here, sir.” Eren replied promptly. Tentative fingers reached for the captain’s as Eren found the courage to intertwine them with his in a soothing manner. "You’re still great, sir. Now I just get to..." he hesitated, "admire you... even more due to the fact that you're here now and not up on your horse in a crow, so far away."
A quiet chuckle rumbled from Levi’s chest, and the hand on Eren’s thigh tightened just slightly. Then, softer, a note of regret slipped through the cracks of Levi’s composure. “That sounds awfully whimsical and poetic of you, brat." he scoffed without any real heat, suspiciously reddened eyes averting the titan-shifter in question.

For a long time no-one uttered a word before the older man sighed, sounding pained. "Fuck. I still think about that bloody courtroom.”
Eren blinked, eyebrows raised in question.

The other man simply shrugged half-heartedly and continued petting the younger's thigh gently. “The first time I really touched you...” Oh. God. “...was to hurt you.”

Eren opened his mouth, but Levi kept going, the words weighted but steady. “I fucking hated it. I hated how it looked, how it made you look. How it felt, but they needed a monster to leash you, and I gave them one.” Eren’s voice broke through, tender and wry. “It’s okay. Really. I never blamed you.”

Levi’s eyes flickered toward him, sharp and searching. "It's not. I hadn’t read your report then. I just kicked you black and blue, I-" his words began to waver. "I didn't know you were able to heal back then. Shit, you would be a cripple 'cause of me wouldn't it be for your creepy lizard powers of regrowth!"

"You had to." Eren shrugged nonchalant. "It was either the wheelchair or a grave so guess how great I think the current outcome was?" he joked and peeked at his lov- captain sideways.

All he got was a wry scoff. “Lucky you. Still. Felt like shit, slapping a face that pretty.” The titan-shifter flushed, the heat blooming high on his cheeks. "Capt- Lev- I uhh... yeah."

That was his captain, bold in a quiet way, intimate without ceremony. His affection never came wrapped in words of love, but in touch, in presence, in that rare glimmer of warmth behind his sardonic barbs. And in moments like this, when the bravado slipped and something raw came through, Eren found himself caught breathless and aching.

Once, while Eren had been leaning close, eyes slipping shut from comfort and drowsy tea warmth, the raven-haired man had reached up to pet his hair softly, carefully, touching Eren like a fragile treasure. Without a word, his fingers had curled more firmly around his locks while he guided Eren down until his head rested in Levi’s lap. Unprompted.

It had been sudden but not unwelcome. Laying there in silence, letting Levi’s hand resume its slow, rhythmic strokes through his hair had been a great experience. Sweet words were whispered to him, things too soft to remember clearly, but gentle, sincere, like lullabies for soldiers who'd grown too fast. Every few minutes, Levi would pause just long enough to murmur: “Are you okay?” or “You comfortable, brat?” Eren always answered yes. But the real answer was more than that.

And yet… he wasn’t who he pretended to be.
God... last night he'd done some research. Not only were relationships between troop members far from well-liked by the corporals, but illegal if one part of the actively involved people was a minor. To say he'd kinda cried himself to sleep with his sobs echoing off the walls of his cell would be an understatement, by far.

Solely the guilt, black and festering, coiled in his guts like poison, toppling over at every brush of their fingers. Now it felt like a betrayal. Like seduction under false pretences. The brunette tried not to think about it when his superior’s thumb traced circles into the curve of his neck, or when those silences stretched into touches too tender to be meaningless.

But the question always remained, nestled right beneath the comfort.

Am I violating his trust?

He wasn’t sure who he was more afraid of. Hurting Levi for deceiving him blindly into something inappropriate or hurting himself for wanting it anyways.

And wanting it he did. Not just the tea and the conversations and the wistful way Levi sometimes looked at him when he thought Eren wasn’t paying attention, but all of it. The proximity, the warmth, the hope of it.

Oh, and the intimacy. Fuck he loved the captain’s searching fingers tracing just a bit too teasingly past his private parts along his thighs. Jean would call him sick; Armin would blame his horny teenage hormones and Mikasa would probably ask him if he'd hit his head too hard. But by the Walls he was too far gone to back down now. Not after barely tasting the potential capacity of affection his captain had in store for him.

They both knew what this was becoming. They just weren’t ready to name it yet.

Chapter Text

The common room was alive with the residual energy of unsupervised teenagers rummaging through cupboards and lounging on windowsills. A cacophony of breathless laughter, boots thudding on wood, and the occasional thwack of a bread crust being flung across the room with juvenile mischief could be heard if any corporal would have the care to come check. The afternoon sun poured in through the high windows in golden shafts, casting mottled shadows on the floor where five Scouts lounged like well-fed cats.

Eren was flat on his back atop a faded bench, arms behind his head, shirt slightly unbuttoned at the collar as he enjoyed the rare moment of peace. He snorted as he lobbed a piece of crust in Connie’s direction. “Oi, heads up.”

"Ah! No, my poor bread!" Sasha shrieked from across the room.

Connie barely ducked, the bread bouncing off his shoulder. “You wanna start a war, man?” “You wouldn’t survive it." Eren drawled bored, voice heavy with mock bravado. Across from them, Historia leaned with comfortably against the back of a threadbare couch, one leg tucked beneath her, nibbling at a wedge of cheese as if she were presiding over a feast. “Come on guys...” she muttered with a smirk. “Honestly, please don't start a fight.” she pleaded.

Jean, ever the reluctant participant in group revelry, leaned against the windowsill with his arms folded tightly over his chest. He didn’t laugh. He never did when Eren was in the room—at least, not without a layer of sarcasm. “This is stupid." he mumbled, eyes glaringly at Armin for a change. "Do we really have to ask him?”

“He is still our superior officer.” Armin reasoned gently, glancing around the room for consensus. “And if we leave without permission, we’ll be doing laps till our legs fall off.” Eren sat up with a groan. “We’re not running away to join the circus. We’re just going to lie in the grass and eat pilfered food like poor scouts like us deserve from time to time.”, the brunette argued. “Eren, it’s called courtesy.” Historia said pointedly, Ymir nodding alongside her for support. “Also, I’d rather not be caught sneaking out and be made to scrub latrines again.” Connie huffed and stood, brushing crumbs off his lap. “Fine... let’s go get scolded.”

They formed an oddly sheepish line in front of Captain Levi’s office door like condemned prisoners approaching judgment. Heads hung low as they trudged along the empty corridor, already awaiting a hand full rejections from their stoic corporal. Finally there, Historia was the first and bravely took it upon herself to knock. Three sharp, authoritative raps that belied her small frame rang through the headquarters.

A heartbeat passed. Then another. The door creaked open.

The raven-haired man stepped back and took a seat behind his desk, pen still in hand, shoulders rigid with tension, probably stiff from long hours hunched over his paperwork. Eren couldn't help but glance at his captain in sympathy, which the captain surprisingly caught and Eren swore he could see a small reluctant smile tug at Levi’s lips. Soo cool grey eyes flicked up, scanning the pathetic group with scrutiny. “What?”

Armin hesitated for a breath before speaking. “Captain Levi, sir… We wanted to ask if it would be alright for us to go to the field nearby. Just for a few hours. Training’s over, and we, uhm... we think we did quite good today so-”

The captain raised one brow with surgical precision. “Oh, so now your thinking? Shocker, didn't know you could do that." he muttered under his breath before placing his pen slowly on the table. "What exactly are you planning, huh? A picnic? A séance? Or are you all marching off to drown yourselves in a pond while I ain't looking?”

Connie choked on a laugh. Jean rolled his eyes skyward. “N-No, sir.” Armin said quickly, “Just some rest. We won’t be far.”

Levi’s gaze swept across the group. He lingered just a moment longer on Eren, eyes resting briefly an the younger man's relaxed and happy form bouncing on his heels with anticipation. The brunette noticed and smirked as Levi quickly looked away to avoid blushing before the captain sighed, long-suffering, theatrical. “Fine. Go. Don’t come back with injuries or infestations.” he warned before quickly adding, "And I wanna see the same amount of you returning. If anybody's missing I'm gonna make you scrub your damn horses teeths every fucking night 'till they look better than yours."

“Thank you, Captain!” Historia chimed, already turning away, while the other took a second to register their captain’s actual approval. Damn what a nice day indeed! Hirried steps gathered at the door and scattered downbthe floor in excitement. Just as the door began to close behind them, Levi’s voice cracked through the air like a whip. “Jaeger. You stay for a moment.”

The sound of his name alone halted Eren mid step. His body stiffened as the rest of the group turned toward him with a mixture of sympathy and thinly-veiled amusement. Jean gave a short bark of a laugh. “Hah, sucks to be you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eren muttered, stepping back toward the door. "When I'm back we'll see who's crying, pricky horseface."

With another huff the brunette shut it behind him. “Captain, you wanted to-” The words evaporated from his mouth as he was gently, yet firmly, pressed against the wooden door with a thud. Levi’s hand was splayed across Eren’s chest, pinning the younger in place while the other hand already braced beside his head. There was a heartbeat of silence, thick with electricity. Then, the captain leaned in and pressed a tentative kiss to Eren’s lips. It wasn’t rough or commanding, it was slow, questioning. The kind of kiss that asked rather than took. A teasing tongue licked Eren lower lip in question, asking the younger for permission. Eren blinked dumbfounded, lips parting slightly in shock, his brain fizzling into static. His heart stammered against his ribs like a snare drum.

Levi pulled back, his voice low, nearly inaudible. “Won't you at least grand me a goodbye kiss?” The heat that bloomed across Eren’s cheeks nearly matched the feverish warmth of his chest. He nodded once ,barely, and leaned forward again. Their mouths met a second time, with more certainty, now that all parties were instructed. It was soft, then hungry. Deliberate.

Eren tilted his head, responding in kind, his fingers curling slightly at his sides before daring to clutch the front of Levi’s jacket. Levi’s hand slid up to cup his jaw, calloused thumb brushing the curve of Eren’s cheek. The other arm wound around his waist, dragging him closer in one fluid motion.

“You’re still such a runt.” Levi whispered between kisses, lips trailing to the corner of Eren’s mouth then down his jaw. “Hm, still a brat. You think you can just swan off with your idiot friends and leave me here to suffer alone with a mountain of useless reports?”

Eren let out a shaky laugh, overwhelmed with the captain’s reaction. “Jealous, sir?” Levi frowned. “Shut up.”

There was no venom in his voice, just an intimacy that curled around them like velvet. When Eren gave a shy peck to Levi’s cheek, the captain’s breath caught, and for a fleeting moment, his impassive mask cracked. He looked… undone. Vulnerable and unarmoured in a way that made Eren’s heart ache with the gentleness of it.

“W-why did you really call me back, sir?” Eren questioned hesitant. "Did you-" Levi stepped away slowly, straightening the collar of his jacket in a vain attempt to reassemble his composure. “I didn’t like the thought of you leaving without a proper goodbye.”

Eren smiled, leaning against the door now, arms crossed, still pink in the face. “Oh... that's nice." he muttered before looking up again. "I should go before they start to think you murdered me.”

Levi scoffed and turned overly dramatic toward away from his boyfr... lover... frien- Eren.

“Impatient little brats, the whole lot of them, huh?” he asked sarcastically before his mood suddenly switched, hooded eyes gazing at Eren’s cornered form at the door. "Tch! They just can't handle the fact that there's more to life than simply fucking like little rabbits and killing titans. Dumb kids." he mumbled, licking his lips in anticipation.

Surging forward once more, Levi now shoves his tongue practically down Eren’s throat. "They don't- fuck, they won't get the desperation I'm in- we're in. I guess they lack the maturity aspect. This thing here is not a fuck and go."

"But we didn't-" the brunette stuttered, blushing furiously.

"I know. That's why."

At this point Eren is practically panting when they part again. Gentle hands run down his chest, smoothing out any wrinkles caused by their... previously intense interaction.

All done, Eren got the note, nodded and opened the door a sliver. A daring smirk crossed his face. “Say something loud. Make it believable.”

A wicked grin curled Levi’s lips as he deliberately sank into his chair slowly, letting the silence drag. He took his time, eyeing Eren’s anticipated smile at the door before-

With theatrical flair, he kicked the chair back, sending it clattering loudly across the room. The raven-haired man's face showed a subtle challenging grin before his voice boomed across the office. “I swear to every fucking god above, Jeager!” he thundered, “If you little piece of shit ever clean my office that shitty again, I’ll beat your ass twice as hard! Don't you dare mop the floor wrong one more damn time, I’ll make you lick my boots clean! Is that CLEAR?!”

Eren bit down on a laugh, standing stiffly. “Yes, Captain! Understood!”

Levi smirked, then leaned forward with a final command. “After dinner, cadet. You’re reporting back here. I expect the books alphabetized and the shelves dusted until they shine.” Eren nodded solemnly, blowing the older man a teasing kiss with a wink before slipping out the door.

The others stared at him like he’d been dragged through hell.

“What the hell, dude...” Connie whispered. “Did he kill you and bring you back?” Eren shrugged with a half-ass hidden grin. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Liar.” Jean muttered. The titan-shifter threw an arm around Armin’s shoulder and pointed toward the hills through the opened window. “C’mon you guys. There’s plenty of sunlight to steal and food to devour.”

As they walked out the tiny courtyard of their current headquarters into the golden warmth, the brunette could feel the weight of a gaze from the second-floor window above. He glanced back once and caught a glint of grey eyes.

Levi gave a subtle nod. A private farewell.
Eren smiled to himself, heart buoyed by something soft and secret.

__________________

The 104th Training Corps had escaped the confines of their temporary base in a rebellious tide of laughter, flippant chatter, and ill-gotten food. The plan—if it could be called that—had been simple: raid the kitchen, flee before the captain changes his mind, and spend the afternoon far from the shadow of regimented drills and looming walls.

Eren marched alongside Armin and Jean, sack slung over his shoulder and a rare smile tugging at his lips. Behind them, Sasha was already gnawing on what should’ve been dessert.

"Sasha, I swear to the Walls—” Connie lunged at her with exaggerated desperation, reaching for the half-devoured apple in her hand. The munching girl grinned with a mouth full of fruit. “You snooze, you lose!”

“More like you chew, we lose.” Jean muttered, trudging beside Eren and Armin.

“Seriously, stop eating all the food, we haven’t even sat down yet!” Connie cried again. “Too late!” Sasha said through a mouthful. “It’s survival instinct!”

“You’re not starving anymore, you know!” Jean groaned, giving her a sidelong glance. “Seriously, you eat like you haven’t seen a ration since Trost.” Sasha only grinned wider. “Hunger has no memory!”

“Great. That means I won’t remember this betrayal...” Connie grumbled, throwing his arms up.

“I give it twenty minutes before she starts eyeing the flowers.” Jean muttered to Eren, who snorted.
“Think she’ll try to roast a butterfly?” “Wouldn’t put it past her.” They crossed a ridge and the view opened to a field soaked in sunlight and speckled with wildflowers, pale violets, fire-red poppies, sprays of yellow dandelions all waving in the wind. A massive oak tree stood sentinel near the center, its wide arms casting a generous stretch of shade. It was the perfect place.

The group dispersed, the unspoken understanding being: do as you will, do not die.

Some, like Historia and Ymir, lay in the long grass with their hands intertwined, speaking softly to each other. Others lounged in the tree’s shade, eyes closed, arms pillowed behind their heads. Connie and Sasha, ever full of energy, began tossing pebbles at a dozing Reiner while Armin scribbled in his notebook, pausing now and then to observe a butterfly or sketch the outline of a leaf. Eren sat on a slope, staring off at the distant treeline, legs stretched and fingers curled in the grass. Jean sauntered over and dropped beside him with an exaggerated groan.
“Bet you’re regretting not bringing wine.” he said.

“You mean like the bottle you did try to steal and got caught?” Eren grinned.
“I maintain I was framed.”
“You were literally holding it!”
Jean grunted and leaned back. “Details.”

There was a pause, one of those easy silences that only came with familiarity... until Eren turned to him with a sharp grin.

“Still got that horseface though." he teased, "Looking so ugly, wine won't fix it anyways.” The other didn’t miss a beat. “Still got that attitude problem, huh?”

Without further warning, he shoved Eren over and leapt onto him. Eren twisted, laughing, and kneed him off before lunging. The scuffle quickly escalated, drawing cheers and whistles from the others. “Come on, Eren, punch him in the teeth!” Connie shouted. “Hit the nose, that’s the weak spot!” Sasha chimed in.

The wrestling turned heated, fists flying in earnest now. Eren caught Jean in the ribs, but not before Jean landed a brutal punch to Eren’s thigh, then another to the stomach. Eren staggered, winded. Before he could recover, Jean swept his leg and shoved him down, boot pressing hard into a bruised spot just below Eren’s ribs.

“Still weak without your bitchy titan form.” Jean sneered, not unkindly, but sharp enough to draw blood. “Bet it’s driving you nuts, huh? Getting your ass kicked by the Captain and now by me?”
Eren gritted his teeth. God... why did they have to drag Levi into this? “He didn’t mean to go that hard!” Fuck.

Jean raised a brow. “Wait- what?” The crowd quieted. Eren blinked, realizing too late what he’d said. “I mean- It was just- He didn’t want to- he said he was sorry, alright?”

Armin tilted his head, suspiciously curious. “Since when does Captain Levi apologize?” “It wasn’t like that!” Eren shot back, face flaming.
Connie snorted. “Why you so defensive, man?”

“I’m not! I’m just saying... he’s not heartless, okay?”

“Defensive much?” Jean said, stepping off him and flopping down beside the others. Ymir raised an eyebrow from the grass. “Hey Eren, you’re blushing.”

“I am not.” Eren growled. Historia laughed softly, leaning into Ymir’s shoulder. “Maybe he’s just embarrassed because he’s into older men.” Eren’s blush deepened. That remark hit drastically close to home. “Pff! You’re all insane...” he shook his head, desperately avoiding a mental image of Levi’s hands around him.

“You’re the one giving the Captain puppy eyes.... or hero complex eyes. I can't tell.” Sasha teased.
“I do NOT give him-” Mikasa suddenly knelt beside him, her hand cool and firm as it enclosed his shaking one. “My Eren wouldn’t fall for someone like Captain Levi. I would know if he were… interested in men.” she said, expression terrifying in its seriousness. “I’d notice.”

“Wait, wait- your Eren?” Jean coughed. “Yes.” she replied simply. Ymir grinned, nudging Historia's side. “Told you he’s taken. Guess the corporal’s outta luck.”

“Will you all shut up?” Eren groaned, pressing both hands to his face.

Jean, ever the provocateur, leaned against a large stone with a smirk. “You know, maybe it’s not even the captain. Maybe you’ve just got some daddy issues. Wouldn’t blame you since your dad vanished and left you with a head full of rage and a Titan complex.”

Eren froze. The air around him seemed to still.
“That’s not—” Armin shrugged. “I mean, it would explain a lot.” There was no malice, just quiet observation in his tone. It still stung. "It’s really not completely off base. You do have a… complicated relationship with authority."

Soon the laughter slowly resumed, conversation drifting to other topics. The afternoon wore on, and the remnants of embarrassment and anger cooled into the warmth of shared company. Eventually, the sun dipped lower, casting long shadows and gilding the meadow in amber light.

“We should head back before we miss dinner.” Armin uttered, checking the angle of the sun.
Eren rose slowly, wincing. The fight had left his legs sore and his ribs aching. Eying his limping figure Mikasa offered her arm again, and this time he accepted it wordlessly.

Together, the group made their way back toward the barracks, still joking. As they stepped through the gates, they were met by the chilling silence of a figure standing by the mess hall doors, Captain Levi, arms crossed, his gaze sharp enough to cut steel.

His eyes flicked immediately to Eren and Mikasa, still walking closely, her arm around his waist.
The air shifted. Levi’s stare was unreadable, but it burned. The older man said nothing, just turned on his heel and started walking.

“Come.” he ordered flatly. No one dared disobey.
But Eren, still pink in the cheeks and stiff in his steps, felt the weight of that silence louder than any words.

_______________________

When dinner concluded and the cadets filed out, groaning with full stomachs and dreading the cold air outside, Eren excused himself from the group with a murmured, “I’ll catch up.” Mikasa started to follow but paused at Armin’s gentle hand on her shoulder. "Don't. He still has to clean the captain’s office." She let Eren go.

The titan-shifter knew the path well by now, the route to Levi’s office. The hallways were poorly lit as he knocked once before pushing the door open. "Sir?"

“Sit.” came Levi’s voice, sharp and without greeting. Eren obeyed, settling on the worn leather couch across from Levi’s desk. The room was cold and orderly, just as always, papers stacked with surgical precision, the smell of old books and cleaning solution clinging to the air.
The older man turned from the door, his hand ghosting the key before he twisted it with a click and locked it.

Eren straightened involuntary, worried. “I- I’m not late, am I?”

“No.” Levi said curtly. His steps were precise as he approached, boots echoing softly against the floor. He stopped just in front of Eren, looking down on him with unreadable eyes. “No drink today? What a shame...” Eren joked, though his voice was light, his smile tentative. Levi didn’t smile. He simply shook his head once and sat down, not in the armchair opposite, but on the coffee table directly in front of Eren, knees nearly touching.

Suddenly the tension in his frame gave way like water from a cracked jar. The captain exhaled slowly, rubbing his palms against his knees.
“…Do you want to stop?” Levi asked quietly.
Eren blinked. “What?”

“This.” Levi said, gaze turned downward, away from Eren’s eyes. “Us. If you want to end it… better to say it now, brat.”

“What are you talking about?” Eren sat forward, alarmed. Levi met his eyes at last. “You’re clearly interested in that black-haired girl.”

There was a beat of silence. Eren just stared.
“…You mean Mikasa?” he asked, voice full of disbelief. “My sister?” Levi’s expression faltered until a sneer graced his expression in disdain. "Your sister? You think I'll take that bullshit?”

“Yeah, well uh... adopted?” Eren explained. Poorly. “Ok, so we’ve lived together since we were nine. She’s like family. Actual family.”
Levi raise a sceptical brow, arms crossed. “Since you were nine? Don't fuck with me, Jaeger, she's 16, your two years older. You don’t even share a surname.”

Eren huffed, a dry laugh escaping him. “I- Seriously? You thought I…? No! Levi- no!” The corporal's shoulders slumped ever so slightly. “Fuck." he cursed, hands running through black strands of hair. "Guess I’m not exactly an easy person to want.” There was something so uncharacteristically vulnerable in his voice that Eren felt his chest twist.

Without thinking, he slipped from the couch and knelt between Levi’s knees. His upper body moved forward, gently resting his head on Levi’s lap, cheek brushing against the coarse white fabric of the captain’s pants.

Levi froze. He stared down at Eren, stunned, one hand hovering above the boy’s head. “…What are you doing?”

“Proving a point.” The younger boy murmured. “I didn’t change my mind.” Levi’s breath left him in a slow rush. His hand finally dropped, fingers threading into Eren’s chocolate hair with a gentleness that contradicted everything about his usual demeanor.

“Soft.” he murmured, voice barely audible as delicate finger's curled around chocolate brown stands.

“She gets under my skin.”

“She’s just protective.”

“She’s possessive.” Levi countered, lips twitching bitterly. “The way she grabs your hand like a damn badge. Like you’re hers.” Eren chuckled softly, not lifting his head. “That’s just how she is.” Levi grumbled in disbelief but said nothing more. After a pause, he moved suddenly, hands curling under Eren’s arms and pulling the surprised shifter up in one swift motion.

“Wha- Levi, sir!” Eren squeaked off-balance as he landed on the captain’s lap, straddling him involuntary. The raven-haired man simply held him there, arms firm around his waist. “If she wants to mark you...” he muttered, “...then so do I.”

The words were rough but quiet, and when he leaned in, it was with a deliberate tenderness. He kissed Eren’s cheek first, softly, then lower. A trail of warmth traced down Eren’s jaw, then to his neck, where Levi’s lips pressed, lingered, and finally sucked just enough to make Eren’s breath hitch audibly.

“L-Levi?” Eren tried, but his voice faltered. The captain merely smirked against his skin. “What? You little minx started this.” he asked innocently, gazing up at Eren with a certain warmth.

And that's when it hit him because- Ohgodhewassittingonthecaptain'slap! Oh by the Walls, oh god!

He was sitting - no, straddling - Captain Levi’s fucking lap! And in a position both terrifyingly intimate and absurdly exposed somehow. His thighs clutched Levi's, barely veiling the tremor in his legs. He stared at the older man's white hankerchief, like eye contact might make his nervous system combust.

The captain, characteristically unbothered, had the audacity to to fucking sip his tea like Eren wasn’t practically burning up in his arms.

“You look like Hanji's about to cut your head off for science.” he said dryly, eyes half-lidded. “We’ve certainly kissed before." he licked his lips teasing like chasing a memory. "What’s this little lap act got you in knots for?”

Eren coughed, a sound suspiciously close to a squeak. “I’m not… I’m not in knots." he argued hoarsely. "This is..." he gesture between them. "Pff! It’s totally normal. You think I'm new to the business?”

Levi raised a brow. “You’ve done this before.” He stated it flatly, unimpressed. “That why you sat on me like I’m a horse about to gallop?”

“I did not-” Eren stopped mid-protest, his ears a vivid crimson. He tried to square his shoulders, adopting what he imagined was an expression of jaded experience. “I know how this works.” “Oh, clearly.” Levi’s voice curled around the sarcasm like smoke but smiled at the other like it’s a cuteness-overload. “Oh, so tell me, Jeager... At what age did you become such a prude little jello? 'Cause you're certainly shaking like one.”

Eren's heart dropped, thudding so loudly he swore the other could hear it. Dammit, he was supposed to be eighteen, as far as Levi knew! Even fucking horseface already had some experience and damn Eren had even hear it firsthand outside the tavern. Armin was staring heart-eyes at Annie and Reiner and Bertholt... yeah, he wasn’t sure what they had but they certainly did it with each other. So, where did that leave him? Without experience to show off?

Levi never would’ve touched him if he knew he was actually fifteen. He was a good captain, no matter the bland display of cruelty during training, and he would have NEVER touched a childlike Eren with such... care? affection? At least not like Eren wanted him to touch him. And now, Levi's dry barbs were landing like arrows. Arrows dipped in something jokingly crude and sardonic.

“You move like someone who’s seen sex in a textbook and tried to re-enact it with a chair, brat.” Levi continued, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Sloppy. Hesitant. Adorable.”

Eren panicked. He wasn't adorable! His body moved before his brain could catch up, and he kissed Levi, fierce, bruising, desperate. The captain welcomed it with an all too pleased hum, one hand still lazily resting at Eren’s hip while the other put his tea aside. It seemed like Eren was finally relaxing, sinking into the rhythm of it, into them.

It worked. The burn of embarrassment was momentarily eclipsed by Levi’s responding smirk as their lips parted. “Well...” the older man hummed, “that’s more like it.”

Encouraged, or maybe doomed, by the other's approval, Eren tried to suppress the maelstrom in his chest and rocked his hips forward, the movement more instinctive than graceful. He prayed Levi wouldn’t notice how his breathing hitched. He noticed and Levi’s hands tightened, a firm squeeze delivered with such casual precision that it stole Eren’s breath.

The brunette froze, then, tried not to freeze. He ground into the touch with forced casualness, willing himself to appear unfazed.

That was until Levi’s fingers began trailing lower, from his hip bones, down. Slow. Intentional. To the curve of his ass.

“Mmm...” Levi said, squeezing with languid confidence. “All that running must be doing you favours. You’ve got a tight little ass, brat.”

It broke him.

The younger's brain fizzled, and with a choked sound, he leaned forward suddenly, arms locking around Levi's neck. He buried his face there, hiding the full-spectrum flush of his skin. He prayed for Levi to assumed it a loving hug, but-

Levi blinked, still for a moment. Then, he felt it. A dampness. Seeping into his shoulder. His fingers stilled like a dropped blade. His entire frame stiffened. Slowly, hesitantly, his hands lifted off Eren like the boy had suddenly turned to glass. “Eren?” he said, voice low, but not unkind. The boy didn't answer, just hiccupped softly, shoulders trembling. The captain’s hands retreated like they’d touched fire. “Fuck.” he muttered. “What did I do?” Still, Eren said nothing. The sobs were small, shameful things, muffled by cotton and collarbone. Levi had no toolkit for this, no clean strategy for young men crying on his lap. Least of all young lover's he'd like to see happy instead.

“What the fuck.” he muttered, still not angry, but completely and utterly lost. “Eren, what did I do?” His voice was quieter now, softer in its own clumsy way. “It’s not you.” came Eren’s small, muffled voice. His shoulders shook. “It’s not you, I swear…”

Levi looked around the empty room as if someone might pop out to take the blame. “There someone else here I should be apologizing to?” Eren shook his head frantically, his fingers curling tightly into the fabric at Levi’s back. But Levi wasn’t squeezing anymore. Wasn’t teasing. The pressure had vanished and with it, the tears slowly began to ebb.

After a few minutes, Eren finally leaned back. His eyes were glassy, embarrassed, but clearer now. The older man misread the moment and shifted, expression tightening with something suspiciously close to wounded pride. “Right.” he muttered, avoiding eye contact at any cost. “You should go.”

“No, wait- ” Eren reached for him instinctively.
But Levi had already stood, brushing off his trousers as if swatting off rejection. His movements were brisk, cold. “Next time, maybe don’t kiss someone if you plan to cry on them. Mixed messages aren’t my kink, brat.”

“But it wasn't- I wasn't- Wait.” Eren sniffed, and Levi stilled mid-motion. The boy’s lip wobbled and immediately Levi scolded himself and wordlessly pulled Eren back in, guiding him gently, then less gently, until they collapsed sideways onto the couch. A quite dumbfounded Eren found himself on top of his cooing corporal, his cheek resting over the older man’s heartbeat.

“Better?” Levi asked quietly, one hand carding through the wild mop of brown hair. “…Yeah.”
A long silence followed. Levi assumed he’d fall asleep again, like he always did when he petted his darling boy. But then came Eren’s quiet voice:

“I’m sorry for acting so… weird.”

“Mm.”

"I’m really sorry.” he repeated. “It felt off... I don't know.” Levi said nothing for a long while. Then, he pulled Eren closer, arms wrapping tightly around him. “Stop.”

“But I- What if it's true?” Eren whispered, mortified now. “What if they're right? About me.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed. “Right about what?”

“The others said I like you a little too much. That maybe I had- I had... uhm a father complex?” He winced at the memory. “Jean said that after my dad left and my mom died, maybe I had issues. That I just latched onto the next strong authority figure.”

Levi blinked, unimpressed. “Daddy issues? Really? That’s the best they’ve got?” he chuckled, causing the brunette's head to softly bounce on his sternum. Eren let out a small giggle despite himself, and Levi smirked. “So...” he added, voice laced with sarcastic malice, “...am I your daddy now?”

“God, no!” Eren screeched disgusted, face contorting. “You’re nothing like my dad!” he continued, "Or likely mom for that matter."

“Good.” Levi huffed. “Because I hate that word. ‘Charge.’ ‘Ward.’ Makes me sound like I run a goddamn orphanage.” Eren relaxed against him at that. “You never felt like a parent. More like... something I look forward to. Something I want to be close to and can't wait to reach.”

The captain was quiet before he finally smirked and offered, “You know, if you’re really hard up for a daddy, I’m sure Erwin could pencil you in. Might even read you a bedtime story. Probably wouldn't approve of me as his son in law.”

Eren laughed again, warm and real. He shook his head and nestled closer, eyes fluttering shut. “You’re such an ass.” “Mm.” the raven-haired man replied, allowing himself a rare, soft exhale. “But I’m your ass.”

Eren drifted off in his arms, the burden of pretending slowly unraveling at the seams. Levi’s arms pulled tighter around the boy in his grasp.

Chapter Text

He did not expect the guilt to take root so thoroughly, to very much metastasize like a crippling disease inside him until it consumed every thought, every breath he took.

Seven months. Seven awfully lovely and agonisingly guilty months of carefully sustained falsehoods. The titan-shifter slowly emphasized with the mind of a seasoned traitor. Seven months of pretending he was older than he truly was, and damn age was a pretty casual topic that definitely shouldn't occur as much on a daily basis as it apparently did, as he discovered.

Oh, and Eren had fallen.... oh, how hard and adoringly easy. It was none like his previous assumptions.
Not a childish infatuation.
Not some foolish hero-worship.
No, it was visceral, all-consuming, and terrifying being in love with the captain. Because he had wanted him, got him and-

Because he could lose him oh so easily altogether. Over a silly lie.

And now the lie felt dirtiest precisely because it stained the only thing he valued most. He had to tell him. He had to. And yet, every time he had tried so far, something would tear the moment. Let it be a surprise expedition, Hanji's grabby hands snatching him off to the laboratory with her shrewd smile or even his own lover and- YES, he was goddamn ready to call Levi that!

The others noticed too. Armin's concerned glances, Mikasa's knitted brow, even Jean's occasional suspicious sneers as they all saw the growing crack in his façade. Admittedly, he was acting odd as of lately. Confidence wasn't his strong suit right now...

All because of that bloody market.

Eren remembered the glares before he remembered the shopping and the food. Walking through the narrow-cobbled streets had been an exercise in humiliation. All they'd planned was simple replenishment of medical supplies, food rations and blades, but against all precautions the townsfolk had recognized him. Instructed by Commander Erwin, the brunette already went in with his hood pulled up, but it was all for nought. Seriously, what rights to privacy did he have as a titan-shifter, the monster, the abomination? The denotation "Humanity’s Last Hope" was a mockery compared to humanity’s actually thoughts on him. Really, who came up with that shitty title?

That day, some spat near his boots, others whispered in coarse, guttural voices he could hear clear as bells. One man, drunk and staggering, went out of his way just to push the shifter hard into a grimy wall, hissing, "See, we ain't got space for freaks like you."

Eren swallowed it all. Took it silently, the way Erwin had warned him he must.

"They fear what they do not understand, Eren. The people inside the walls are tricky and excluding creatures." the commander had said, his voice heavy with sympathy. But understanding their cruelty didn’t make it hurt less and by the time the whole troop reached the market’s makeshift food stalls, Eren's stomach was a tight, cramping knot. Still, he forced himself to join the others, smiling wanly as they laughed and chose plates heaped with unfamiliar, fragrant foods.

He picked at his own meal half-heartedly, a roasted poultry dish with a crisped skin that smelled wonderful. Since it wasn’t every day their captains allowed them to spend their salary in town it was a nice variation from the usual.

The brunette hadn't even managed a full mouthful before the wrongness struck him. A pang of pain struck him, a needle-like consistence piercing his flesh. A metallic tang exploded on his tongue. The sharp, unnatural bitterness of poison spread as quick as the dread and he gagged violently, spitting the mouthful back onto his plate with a wet, shuddering cough. His vision began to blur with wetness as he spied the sparkling addition in his food. His eyes burned with humiliation, with the horrible, creeping knowledge that this - this - had been deliberate. A clear message.

Tiny iron filings gleamed in the half-chewed mess, accompanied by blue dots that shared a suspicious resemblance with the local rat poison he'd earlier seen on the streets. His stomach churned.

He couldn’t move.
He couldn’t speak.
He could not ruin this night for the others.
He. Would. Not. Cry.

One glance sideways told him the others were laughing still, oblivious to his frozen silence. Eren stared grimly at his plate, forcing down the bile rising in his throat, and muttered hoarsely,
"Well... I’m- I'm not very hungry." His fingers pushed the poisoned plate away with trembling care, as if even that much movement might betray him.

He made a move to rise, heart pounding with the desperate need to go, to flee, when a sudden hand settled heavily on his shoulder. Eren stiffened as his gaze met the steel-grey glare of a very displeased looking captain and hastily turned away again, sitting back down quickly.

Levi's hand lingered for a moment, not a rough grip, but a grounding weight. When Eren dared to look up again, Levi's eyes were twin shards of polished steel, glittering with a feral coldness not directed at Eren, but at the plate in front of him. Without a word, Levi moved and in one fluid, disdainful motion, taking the seat beside the younger. He shifted his own half-eaten plate into Eren’s hands, pushing it firmly toward him. Eren stared, dumbfounded, as the raven-haired man then bent and, very deliberately, let Eren’s poisoned plate crash onto the cobblestones with a violent clatter.

A few heads turned. The server, pale and wide-eyed, stumbled back as Levi levelled a gaze at him so vicious that the man flinched visibly.

The Captain said nothing.
He didn’t need to.
Silence roared between them.

Eren’s throat closed around the lump forming there. His fingers trembled as he curled them around the plate Levi had given him, heart hammering painfully. "Eat." Levi said, low enough that only Eren could hear. A command, but strangely gentle. "I..." Eren faltered, words catching on the emotion clogging his chest.
Levi leaned in slightly, voice barely a breath against Eren’s ear. "I’m not asking, brat. Eat."

His heart thundered as he obediently took a tentative bite. This food tasted safe, warm. It nearly undid him. He forced himself not to tear up again and chose to chew, to swallow past the tightness in his throat. His fingers clenched white around his fork. "I... thank you, sir." he croaked, voice humiliatingly fragile.

Levi's expression shifted, a flicker of something unreadable softening the harsh line of his mouth.
"Tch! Don’t thank me for protecting what's mine." he muttered, rolling his eyes like he'd do this for just anybody. Eren’s head snapped up, wide-eyed. Was he implying...? Did the captain just call him...? What the hell?!

Before he could find the breath to respond, Levi shifted closer under the loose drape of their green cloaks, his arm sliding around Eren's waist in a gesture so subtle, so shielded, none but Eren would ever know it had happened. Warmth bled through the layers of cloth. "You listen to me." Levi whispered, voice a mere thread of sound, meant only for him. "Those spineless cowards, they're not worth your pain." Eren swallowed hard, blinking furiously. "But..." he rasped, unable to stop the bitterness from spilling out. "Maybe they’re right. Maybe I am... some kind of monster. They're just scared of me."

Levi exhaled sharply, an almost derisive sound. His grip around Eren’s waist tightened, just slightly, possessive, grounding. "You're more human than half the people we protect." he spat, voice cutting like a blade through the fog of Eren’s self-loathing. "You bleed for them. You break yourself for them." He paused, and then, lower, fiercer he added "And if they’re too blind to see it, then fuck them." A tremor went through Eren, not from fear, but from the sudden, breathtaking force of his lover’s loyalty.

For a long, aching moment, Eren leaned into him, hiding his face against Levi’s shoulder, feeling the tremulous beat of his own heart trying to break free from its ribcage.
"Yeah... fuck them." he whispered, voice cracking under the weight of it. Suddenly an idea struck the brunette's mind. "Levi.... Thank you. I've been feeling really horrible about it for some time now and- uhh... What would you do if I'd tell yo-"

Levi’s fingers, resting lightly at Eren’s hip, tightened, pausing the shifter mid confession.
"I'd still love you fucking much. Monster or not." Levi said simply, as if he had known Eren’s words all along. He had thought wrong.

"What? No. I- I mean I love you too...? Yeah, I do love you too. Wow... first time saying that! Anyways, thanks, but I'm really-"

"I said hush now!" The older man scolded him softly, completely ignoring their first official exchange of 'I love you' and continued unfazed, "You’re no monster, brat. End of discussion."

_____________________

Not long after that incident a suspiciously quick order for a change of their current headquarters arrived. No reason was stated, but it surely was far away from town this time.

Levi acted uninvolved and innocent.
Eren couldn't complain.

The decrepit building they were now quartered in was little more than a few crumbling walls and a roof that seemed to be held together by stubbornness alone. Dust lingered in thick, defiant clouds, and every wooden floorboard shrieked in protest underfoot. At this sight Eren's mind already concluded what their day's worth of work would contain, knowing his lover's need for hygiene too well by now. And as predicted, soon the captain had surveyed it all with his usual thin-lipped disdain before issuing the order that rippled through the ranks like a whip crack.

"I wanna see your rooms spotless, beds made, and floors clean enough to eat from. Or else..."

There was no mistaking his meaning and soon Eren and the other cadets had scattered like startled pigeons, vanishing into their rooms to furiously scrub, fold, polish, and pray.

Levi, satisfied, retreated to the kitchen, his today self-appointed sanctuary, and set to work polishing the sorry excuse for cutlery they’d been provided. Not even rats would probably it from it if given the chance and during the polishing process the disgusted sneer never once differed from the raven-haired man's lips. The repetitive motion, the sharp glint of silver under the cloth, and the faint creaking of the empty halls created an almost meditative peace.

Almost.

A sudden cacophony shattered the rare silence, the furious cadence of tiny annoying teenage voices rising in volume from the nearby corridor. Levi’s eyebrow twitched. He stilled, cloth mid-stroke, the irritation already bubbling dangerously beneath his cool exterior. Gritting his teeth, he threw down the cutlery with a clatter loud enough to startle a mouse from its hiding place and pushed away from the counter. His leather boots struck the stone floor with a staccato rhythm of growing annoyance as he crossed the mess hall, following the clearly escalating commotion.

By the time he reached the door, the shouting was unmistakable, vicious, furious, and agonizingly familiar. He listened closely as arguments flew left and right but he didn’t bother knocking. He simply threw the door open with a force that rattled the hinges. Finger raised and brow twitching he'd been more than ready to deliver some dumbass lecture but stop.

Inside, Eren and the black-haired girl, Mikasa, stood nose-to-nose, utterly oblivious to his entrance, their faces flushed, one with rage, the other with a tight, brittle sadness. "You never fucking trust me!" the brunette shouted, the rawness in his voice cutting through the room like a blade. His chest heaved with the force of his anger. "Every fucking time I try to do something on my own, you’re there. Breathing down my neck, making decisions for me! At home, on the streets and now here! Like I'm some helpless idiot who needs saving every damn time!"

"I’m not controlling." Mikasa answered, her voice infuriatingly calm in the face of his storm. "I’m protecting you, because you’re important to me, Eren. Because you-" "-because you think I cannot handle it, but surprise! I'm a fucking titan-shifting big ass monster, we go to war every fucking day and-" Eren snarled, cutting her off brutally "And we're sure as hell not going to be together forever. We'll someday lead different lives, and I have a right to prepare myself for independence."

Mikasa's eyes narrowed at the last part, teeth grinding in anger. "How would you know? Where we end up? Why would you wanna leave if there's nothing out there?! You don't know if your stupid freedom-complex will bring you happiness, but I know I will!" she seethed, but Eren simply scoffed. "No, you think you have some claim on me just because of what happened that day. You think killing these men for you meant I signed my life over to you?" Mikasa flinched, but stood her ground, her hand twisting the red scarf around her throat so tightly her knuckles whitened. "But... you saved me, Eren." she said, her voice trembling with restrained emotion. "You saved me from those men. You gave me a reason to live. Since that day, you’ve been my everything."

Eren stared at her, wide-eyed, for a heartbeat that seemed to stretch into eternity. Then, without warning, his face twisted into something that looked heartbreakingly close to grief. Like he knew the destructive impact his next words held for the other girl. "I didn’t save you out of love. I mean I somewhat did but..." he confessed hollowly. "I was nine and scared. You were one of my best friends. You are, still, and you were already... family. But nothing more."

The girl's face crumpled, as Levi silently watched Eren’s words striking harder than any physical blow.

"You’re my Eren!" she cried, clutching her scarf like a lifeline. "Your mother told me to-" "I’m not fucking ten anymore!" he exploded, tears bright in his furious eyes. "You can’t keep acting like I'm some lost little boy you have to glue yourself to! I love you, Mika, I do just as much as I did my mother, but not the way you want. I never will."

The silence that followed was deafening that even the raven-haired man felt compelled to take a silent exit out of this obviously very intimate situation. And he surely would have, wouldn't it be for what happened next.

Bang!

Mikasa’s hand had moved before thought could catch up as a flash of anger and hurt and betrayal flickered in her eyes. With a sharp crack, her palm connected with the brunette’s cheek. Her nails, slightly too ragged from scrubbing floors all day, raked thin angry lines across his skin, leaving two fine scratches already beading with blood.

That was it. He'd never liked her much, but this? Too much, too personal, too wrong. Levi barely registered moving. One moment he was by the door, the next he was shoving himself between them, seizing Mikasa’s wrist with bruising force. She gasped, struggling instinctively, but he shoved her firmly aside, placing his body like a barricade between her and Eren.

The captain’s voice was a cold, razored thing when he spoke. "Explain yourself, soldier."
Not 'Mikasa.'
Not 'cadet.'
Soldier.

The use was deliberate, a slap of formality meant to carve the distance deep. Mikasa opened her mouth to protest, to apologize, but Levi didn’t care. But when she moved toward his Eren, Levi’s hand snapped up like a steel gate, stopping her dead.

"You just assaulted a fellow member of this unit, Ackerman." Levi said icily. "You think I’ll let you cry about it and walk away? Go help your comrade Blouse clean the women's quarters and calm the fuck down." Mikasa’s face twisted in pain and fury, but she knew better than to argue. She clutched her scarf tighter, trembling, casting a broken glance at Eren. "I'm sorry..." she whispered, and then she turned and fled, her boots pounding down the corridor.

Only when her footsteps faded did Levi turn his attention back to Eren. The boy was shaking, tears slipping silently down his face, his expression a complex, heart-wrenching mess of sorrow, guilt, and raw confusion. The captain barely had time to open his arms before Eren crashed into him, burying his face in Levi’s neck with a wounded, desperate sound.

"I- I didn’t want to h-hurt her feelings!" Eren choked out, voice muffled against his skin. "I didn’t want to... but... I didn't know what else to do. I do care about her, she's my sister." Levi sighed, a long, theatrical exhalation, and let his hand rest lightly on the back of Eren’s head. "Tch. Stupid brats." he muttered, voice rough but fond. "Always having to make everything a goddamn tragedy."

Without waiting for permission, Levi scooped him up bodily, one arm under Eren’s knees, the other cradling his back. The titan-shifter yelped, legs instinctively locking around the older's waist and arms tightening around his neck. "I can walk, you know?" Eren grumbled into his shoulder. "And I could give a fuck." Levi retorted dryly, carrying him through the empty halls as if he weighed nothing at all. "Besides, after today’s shitty performance, you’ve clearly lost the right to independent movement." Eren gave a wet, watery laugh against his skin, small, broken, but real.

His captain carried him back into the mess hall, kicking the doors shut behind them with a sharp snap, and set a sniffling Eren down carefully onto the familiar bench. For a moment, it seemed like Eren might settle. Then he was suddenly up again, pacing like a caged wolf, his hands raking through his hair, muttering broken sentences under his breath.

"I should’ve told her I'm... I could have told her sooner I like men, she would- Oh, I shouldn’t have let her hope... Shouldn’t have-"

"Been born an idiot?" Levi supplied helpfully, arms crossed as he leaned against the doorframe. Eren shot him a look halfway between a glare and a plea for help. "Don’t flatter yourself, lover boy." Levi added, pushing away from the wall. "You’re not that special. Everyone fucks up. Normally I'd say you can't kill them all, but I guess yours goes 'You can't love them all.'"
He stalked toward Eren, grabbing him by the shoulders to halt his frantic pacing. When that didn’t work, he shoved him, gently but firmly, back against the nearest wall.

"Stop beating yourself up, brat." Levi ordered, voice low and commanding. The younger froze, breathing hard, tears still streaking his cheeks when Levi tilted his chin up with two fingers to inspect the angry scratches marring his face. His thumb ghosted across the wounds with an uncharacteristic tenderness.

"Look at you..." Levi muttered, clicking his tongue in mock-disapproval. "Already scuffed and bloodied before noon. What am I going to do with you?" Before Eren could formulate a response, Levi pressed a feather-light kiss to the wounds on his cheek, as if sealing them with something stronger than apology.

"You’re not alone, Eren. I can't speak of myself as a family expert really, but I think she loves you a hell lot enough to forgive you and herself. She's an Ackerman." he soothed quietly against his skin. "And you’ve got me, you little shit. And I’m not going anywhere."

Without thinking, Eren surged forward and pressed a quick, desperate kiss to the corner of Levi’s mouth, a stolen moment, fleeting but electric. Levi stiffened, then softened, his hand catching Eren’s jaw to steady him. "Hm, breaking hearts and kissing men, I see." he joked. "You’re unbelievable." Levi whispered against Eren’s temple, voice frayed at the edges. "And stupid. And hot-headed. And mine."

"Yours." Eren echoed breathlessly, pressing closer, sorrow completely forgotten now.

Levi's hands still trembled, betraying the possessive fury he was desperately trying to smother beneath the disciplined facade of a captain. Eren, catching the frantic glint in his lover’s storm-grey eyes, reached out instinctively, cupping Levi’s cheeks between his palms. “Hey...” Eren murmured, voice rough with emotion yet steady. “I'm here. I'm not gonna leave you for her, I swear. I'm NOT gonna change my mind.” Stubborn as ever, the other only scowled deeper, a curse slipping past his lips. Without thinking, Eren leaned in again and silenced Levi the only way he knew would work.

He kissed him. This time hard and passionate, teeth clashing as he now was the one shoving his tongue down the other's throat.

Levi froze, momentarily stunned at his brat’s eager commitment, before caving with a low, guttural noise of surrender. Their mouths clashed, not soft or tentative, but raw and desperate, the kind of kiss born from the need to ensure the other was still here.

After a beat, Levi tore himself away, gasping against Eren’s lips, whipping his head around in alarm. His instincts roared warnings, anyone could walk in, anyone could see. He didn’t care right now, couldn't care any less in fact. Before Eren could even react, Levi fisted the hem of his shirt collar and tugged him back in with brutal urgency, crashing their mouths together again. This kiss was deeper, fiercer, and full of all the things Levi could not say aloud. Eren whimpered into it, overwhelmed, but utterly unwilling to stop. The captain’s hand roamed down to grasp the nape of his neck, holding him in place with the cruel tenderness only he could master, while his other hand found its way to Eren’s hip, pulling him flush against him.

When Levi finally drew back, his breath ghosted hotly over the shell of Eren’s ear. "Would’ve been a real fucking shame..." Levi whispered, voice low and obscene, "...if some girl stole your pretty ass from me and didn't know what to do with it."
The filthy words, murmured with such aching affection, sent a shudder rippling down Eren’s spine. He gasped, hips jerking reflexively against the firm thigh Levi had so wickedly slid between his legs. "I- yes, sir." Eren panted, molten heat pooling in his gut.

Levi smirked darkly, the hand at Eren’s hip sliding down with exquisite slowness to grope the firm curve of his ass, squeezing possessively. With a rough tug, he dragged Eren even closer, grinding the boy’s hardening length against his own thigh. Eren whimpered, the sound embarrassingly loud in the relative quiet of the hall.

“You’re so fucking desperate for it." Levi growled, rubbing his thigh deliberately against Eren’s clothed cock. "Pathetic." The brunette squirmed, clutching at the fabric of Levi’s shirt, mind spinning. He was drowning in sensation, Levi’s lips, Levi’s body, the captain's heat and dominance overwhelming him in the best possible way.

Yet even through the haze, a sliver of panic threaded through him. He tore his mouth away, gasping, “There'll be d-dinner soon. S-someone could see-” Levi merely snorted, breathless and amused. "Then don’t moan like a whore, brat." Still, he relented, drawing back slightly, enough to brush the pad of his thumb in a slow, reverent sweep across Eren’s flushed cheek. “You okay?” Levi asked, quieter now, softer, a stark contrast to the filthy things he had been whispering moments before. His thumb lingered under Eren’s eye, almost as if trying to memorize the exact shade of green, the exact glimmer of life.
Eren, heart pounding, nodded with such eager enthusiasm it would’ve been laughable if not so endearing.

"I've... been hoping for this." Eren admitted shyly, cheeks blazing with heat. "A... second chance so to say. I just- After last time I didn’t know if I could..." Levi hushed him with a brief, feather-light kiss. "You can. You will." A devilish glint sparked in the captain’s eyes as his hand resumed its slow descent, trailing down Eren’s back before seizing the boy’s ass with firm, possessive intent. Eren gasped, keening softly as Levi jerked him forward once more, grinding their hips together with no pretence of innocence.

The friction was maddening, the hard press of Levi’s thigh, the press of Levi’s own arousal against him and Eren’s knees nearly buckled. A broken moan tore itself from his throat, muffled only slightly by the captain’s lips on his.

“You like that, don't you?” Levi purred against his ear, lips brushing the sensitive skin and sending another violent shiver through Eren's trembling form. “Yes, Levi, please-” Eren whined, utterly undone.

Levi only chuckled, low and dark, and ground against him harder, setting a merciless pace that had Eren clinging to his shoulders like a drowning man.

The younger man writhed against him, breath hitching, desperate and wanton, clutching at Levi like a lifeline. His green eyes, wide and pleading, glittered with barely contained need. "Please, sir." Eren rasped, voice cracking under the weight of his desire. "I want it. This time I want it, I swear. Please... I need you inside me."

Levi growled low in his throat before seizing Eren’s face and crashing their mouths together. His tongue plunged into Eren’s willing mouth, staking a claim with ruthless, possessive strokes. The titan-shifter welcomed him eagerly, his lips parting without hesitation, moaning shamelessly as Levi’s tongue filled him, deep and demanding. Levi swallowed every needy sound Eren made, rutting his hips against the boy’s in rough, desperate thrusts.

The friction was maddening, the press of arousal against arousal, a hot, merciless grind that had Eren whimpering and Levi cursing under his breath. "You’re so goddamn impatient." The older man scolded between savage kisses, his voice dark and rough. His hand slipped between them, deftly unfastening the front of Eren’s pants, fingers pushing inside with greedy urgency. "I can only fill one hole at a time, you little shit."

Eren choked on a gasp, barely coherent, as Levi’s calloused hand wrapped around his aching cock, palming him with devastating precision.

Eren writhed helplessly under the onslaught, his knees weak, his mind reduced to static.
Levi pulled back just enough to glare at him, his chest heaving with the effort to keep his movements measured. With one last bruising kiss to Eren’s swollen mouth, he withdrew his hand from Eren’s pants and shoved two fingers against Eren’s lips.

"Suck." he ordered, voice low and commanding. "Better wet them properly unless you want it to hurt." Eren obeyed without hesitation, his cheeks flaming in embarrassment at his own vulgar reactions as he took Levi’s fingers into his mouth. He was ready, he'd long prepared for this ever since their first failed attempt. He'd even stooped as low as to ask Armin, in private, with a lot of deflecting lies. But he knew now and by the Walls even the imagination of doing such filthy things with his captain had more often than not sent blood rushing down south during training.

His tongue swirled around them eagerly, desperate to please, desperate to feel Levi inside him in any way he could. Levi watched him with burning eyes, his free hand never ceasing its slow, torturous stroking along Eren’s cock, dragging whimpers from the boy with every deft motion.

"That’s it." Levi murmured, tone dropping to a near-growl. "Hurry up, brat. We don’t have all fucking day." But even as he spoke the words, the captain couldn’t help himself, his hand tightened around Eren's shaft possessively, thumb rubbing slow, obscene circles over the leaking tip. His self-control was fraying rapidly, his own cock throbbing painfully against the confines of his uniform trousers.

Eren moaned around his fingers, hollowing his cheeks, his hips jerking into Levi’s hand, utterly lost to the pleasure. Withdrawing his fingers from Eren’s mouth with a slick pop, he smirked darkly at the glazed look in Eren’s eyes. Without warning, he slid his hand back down between Eren’s cheeks, pressing one wet finger teasingly against the tight ring of muscle, circling it but not yet pushing in. Green orbs widened momentarily and he whined pitifully, bucking against him. "So fucking needy." Levi muttered, voice dripping with dark amusement. "Too desperate to wait 'till the evening, huh? You’re lucky I even considered doing this here, you little exhibitionist."

And with that, he inserted the first finger, slow but inexorable, feeling Eren’s body tense and then melt against him in surrender. Eren gasped against Levi’s neck, clinging tighter. Levi's thumb rubbed soothing circles against Eren’s hip in a rare gesture of comfort, while his mouth traced a line of open-mouthed kisses along Eren’s jaw, whispering a litany of filthy promises against his skin.

"You’re gonna take it, brat." Levi growled against Eren’s ear. "Gonna take everything I give you like the desperate little thing you are."

Eren gasped sharply, his body arching instinctively as Levi worked the second finger inside him. A pained hiss escaped his lips, muffled against Levi’s shoulder. His muscles trembled with the effort to relax, but the sting of the stretch was undeniable. Ever attentive even in his desperation, his lover immediately noticed. His fierce scowl softened into something molten and sinful. "Shh, easy, Eren." he cooed against the shell of Eren’s ear, his voice both mocking and impossibly tender. "I know it hurts a bit at first, but you’re doing so good for me. So fucking hot, letting me finger you open here, like this, where anyone could walk in and see what a desperate little slut you are for me."

The younger whimpered helplessly at the vulgar praise, his cock twitching against Levi’s palm as the captain resumed his slow, deliberate thrusting of his fingers. Levi's skilled digits crooked just right, brushing over the sensitive bundle of nerves hidden deep inside, making Eren sob out a broken moan.

"That's it." Levi purred, panting now himself, licking the moan right off Eren’s parted, gasping lips. The desperate heat consuming him left Levi no room for patience. With a final, wicked thrust of his fingers that had Eren keening in need, Levi pulled them free. The brunette whined at the sudden emptiness, but Levi offered no reprieve. In a flurry of movement, the captain spun Eren around, pressing his chest firmly against the rough wall of the mess hall.

The shifter panted against the cool stone, squirming at the loss of his captain's fingers. "Goddammit, Levi!" he whimpered, voice cracking. "I-I need-!"

"Hush!" Levi growled, though not unkindly, biting down softly on the slope of Eren’s shoulder. His hands were already moving with swift, merciless precision, tugging the buckles of his own belt open, the heavy clink of the metal loud in the charged air. Eren fumbled desperately with his own pants, shoving them now fully down to his knees, baring himself entirely to Levi’s hungry gaze. His flushed skin, tight muscles, and the vulnerable curve of his ass were enough to steal the very breath from Levi’s lungs.

"Fuck, look at you." Levi hissed, palming his thick, leaking cock and sliding it teasingly between Eren’s cheeks. "So pretty like this. Open. Waiting for me."

The other moaned brokenly, pressing back against the teasing weight, grinding himself shamelessly along the heated length sliding against him. Leaning in close, the raven-haired man pressed a kiss to Eren’s nape, his voice almost gentle despite the savage lust lacing every syllable.

"You sure about this, Eren?" he murmured, his cock sliding deliberately against the sensitive skin, teasing the boy to madness. "I need you to say it. Properly."

"Yes, sir." Eren answer serious without hesitation, shivering violently as Levi’s teeth grazed his neck. "Please, Levi. I want it. Really, I do."
A dark, satisfied chuckle rumbled from Levi's chest. "Good boy."

With one hand spreading Eren’s cheeks wide, Levi lined himself up and, with a steady, inexorable push, began to sink his cock deep inside. Eren’s entire body tensed, a breathless gasp torn from his throat as Levi’s thick length breached him. The burning stretch was maddening, exquisite in its agony, but he welcomed it, craved it.

"Shit, you're tight," Levi ground out through gritted teeth, his fingers bruisingly tight on Eren’s hips as he fought the urge to ram himself fully home in one savage thrust. He fed himself into Eren inch by slow inch, savouring every sensation. Overwhelmed by the sheer size, Eren choked out surprised between ragged moans, "F-fuck, it's so big!"

Levi groaned at the praise, the sound vibrating straight into Eren’s core. Without waiting another heartbeat, the older set a brutal rhythm, pulling almost entirely out only to slam back in, burying himself to the hilt. Each thrust drove the breath from Eren’s lungs, forcing wanton, desperate noises from his lips that echoed obscenely within the quiet.

"You like that, brat?" Levi panted, pounding into him with feral, precise strokes. "Like being split open by my cock, out here where anyone could fucking hear you?"

"Y-yes, yes, sir- Levi..." Eren’s hands scrabbled against the wall, searching for purchase as his captain pistoned into him with punishing force. Every thrust hit that devastating sweet spot, making his vision swim, his body helplessly receptive.

"I’m gonna ruin you, baby. Gonna fuck you like no one before did. Filling you so good you’ll still be dripping when we get back to the others." The brunette sobbed in bliss, thrusting back against Levi in desperation. Now he certainly could relate to the appeal of sex held to adults. He was in heaven!

He was losing control, both of them were, and it was glorious. Through the haze, Eren managed a breathless, wicked grin. He could be filthy too he'd learned. "Fuck... you're such a dirty old man, Captain. Using me for your own needs." he panted out, voice daring. The words barely left his lips before Levi growled low in his throat, a raw, animalistic sound, and bit down hard on Eren’s shoulder in retaliation, not cruelly, but with enough force to leave a vivid mark.

"You damn brat." Levi rasped, grinding in harder, deeper, punishing him for the tease. "Calling me old while you're the one whining for my cock like a desperate little bitch." The filthy words only made Eren shudder harder beneath him. "You're so good..." Levi whispered heatedly into his ear, punctuating each word with a sharp thrust. "Taking me so deep. Fuck, you're made for this, Eren... for me. Look at you. Dripping and clenching like you never want me to leave."

Levi felt the way Eren's walls began to flutter helplessly around him, the younger’s orgasm close enough to taste. He drove into him harder, chasing that sweet, inevitable collapse. "Come for me." Levi commanded roughly, thrusting so deep it stole Eren’s breath. "Now. Let me feel you finally fall apart on my cock."

With a broken sob of his name, Eren obeyed. His entire body locked up before spasming violently, cock jerking as he spilled in hot, messy spurts against the wall. The way he clamped down around the other tore a ragged cry from Levi's throat. "Fuck, Eren!"

Levi couldn’t hold back. With a strangled moan, he drove himself as deep as he could go and came hard, pumping thick, hot streams of cum deep inside Eren’s spasming, greedy hole. He stayed buried to the hilt, shuddering violently with the force of his release, his arms wrapping tightly around Eren’s torso to pull him closer.

"My Eren..." he murmured feverishly sweet against Eren's ear. "Taking it all so fucking well. You're mine, all mine."

Eren, still trembling in the aftermath, could only mumble a hoarse, "Thanks.... sir." as Levi nuzzled against his sweaty neck, still sheathed deep inside him, unwilling to let go just yet. They stood like that for a moment, locked together, Levi’s cock still throbbing weakly inside his lover, Eren sagging bonelessly against the wall, held up only by Levi’s firm embrace.

Slowly, reluctantly, Levi began to ease back. Eren whimpered at the loss as Levi carefully, almost reverently, pulled out. Not yet used to this new first-time experience. Not that the captain knew it was a first at all.

A low, guttural groan escaped Levi’s lips as he watched the aftermath of their coupling with his cum spilling lazily from Eren’s abused, freshly fucked hole. Unable to resist, Levi bit his lip and reached out, pressing his thumb against the swollen rim. He gently pushed it back inside, fascinated as Eren’s body greedily accepted the intrusion, sucking his thumb in almost obscenely easily. Eren moaned weakly at the sensation, his palms still braced against the wall, trying desperately to recover his breath and dignity.

"S-Sir… please don't-" Eren finally whimpered, his body trembling anew under the overwhelming overstimulation. "You have to stop… the others will be back soon."

Levi sighed dramatically, feigning disappointment, but withdrew his thumb with a teasing slowness. He was utterly reluctant to stop, but he wouldn't risk getting them in trouble. "Tch. Ruining all my fun, brat." he muttered under his breath, though the fondness in his tone was unmistakable.

Moving quickly, he retrieved a bundle of old cloths from the table nearby and wiped Eren down, cleaning up the worst of the mess with efficient, brisk motions.

When he was done, he grabbed Eren’s discarded pants and yanked them back up with a sharp tug, ignoring the younger’s quiet wince. He tucked himself away as well, fastening his belt with sharp, practiced movements, before stepping back to inspect Eren critically. "Fix yourself, soldier." he ordered gruffly, though a ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Oh dear, you look thoroughly fucked."

Eren flushed at the new petname, trying to straighten his dishevelled uniform as best he could, cheeks burning with residual heat and embarrassment. Before turning away, Levi leaned in swiftly and pressed a quick, almost chaste kiss against Eren’s flushed cheek. "I fucking love you, brat."

Then, without another word, he turned on his heel and strode out of the hall, boots striking the ground with steady, composed steps, leaving Eren standing there, dazed, sore, and utterly wrecked, yet filled to the brim with an undeniable, glowing contentment.

___________________

The knock at the door came after dinner, discreet yet firm. The sort of summons that meant fucking eyebrows was being deliberate, not commanding. Levi already knew. Something was amiss. He'd sensed it in the slight chill in the mess hall air, the glances exchanged behind stoic faces. Erwin had side-eyed him at their table throughout the whole dinner. Every time he'd raise a questioning eyebrow at the commander the blond would stare at him concerned but never utter a damn word. It was infuriating and annoying.

When he stepped into the other's office, he found Erwin already seated, back straight, golden brows drawn ever so slightly, like the man was bracing for impact. He gestured to the chair across from him. “Levi, take a seat, please.” he offered friendly, far off his usually strict demeanour. Levi remained standing.

“Cut the bullshit, Erwin. Whatever sermon you’re about to preach, spare me the prologue.” The commander sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose as though it were already too much. “I actually wanted to approach this as a friend...” he began, voice quiet, "And not as your superior. You know I respect you, Levi. I’ve trusted you with more than most men ever will.” Levi’s stare could’ve cut through steel. “Then say what you came to say.”

Erwin glanced at the door, ensured it was shut tight, then fixed Levi with a gaze both sorrowful and firm. “I’m not here to pass judgment. I wouldn’t presume, especially as I myself have a propensity for infatuation regarding cadets." He smiled slightly, "They are young, ambitious and I am amenable for playing favourites when it comes to clever trainees. But… I never saw you falling for such things. What I mean is... you prefer one soldier. As your fellow corporal I need to ask you to limit your contact with Eren Jaeger.”

For a moment, silence reigned, a beat too long. Levi blinked, once, twice. Slowly. His expression remained unreadable, though a faint tick in his jaw betrayed irritation. "Tch! I don't. What crap are you talking about?" He scoffed, deflecting any indicators. Erwin’s reprimanding eyes on him told him otherwise. Damn that bastard for seeing through his lies every time!

“I thought we were subtle.” he muttered, looking out the window. “You spying on us now?”

“I’m not the one you should worry about, my friend.” Erwin said quietly. “The judge in Mitras won’t be so... accommodating.” Levi’s lip curled in distaste. “What’s Mitras to do with that, huh? Afraid I'll snog the fight out of their little titan-shifter weapon? Seriously, we’re both consenting adults, Erwin. If this is about him being a man-” Erwin shot him a look so flat, it sucked the heat from Levi’s fury. “No shit, Levi.”

Levi crossed his arms, unwilling to retreat. “Then what the hell is the problem?” The blond man hesitated, and that silence, heavy, prolonged, suffocating, was worse than any reprimand. He studied Levi like a man staring at a friend perched over a precipice, unsure whether to pull him back or let him fall.

“How old...” Erwin asked finally, “do you think Eren is?”

Levi scoffed, unimpressed. “Eighteen.”

Erwin's eyes shot close briefly, praying to any lord above to let this be a bad dream. Finally, he breathed a slow exhale of defeat. “Levi…" his gaze found the steel-grey one of other man. "Eren is fifteen.”

The words landed like a cannonball in his gut.

“What? No.”

"Yes, indeed he is."

Erwin reached into his desk, pulled out a dossier, and slid it across the desk. He deliberately gesture with his hand towards the papers. “There. His file. Official records from Shiganshina.”

Levi snatched the papers, fingers trembling. He scanned them hastily, searching for the one line that could prove this a mistake. And then his eyes caught it.

Eren Jaeger.
Date of Birth: March 30, 835

The ink might as well have been blood. “God fucking dammit!” he hissed, the words escaping in a broken rasp. “You have got to be shitting me...” The file hit the wall with a violent 'thwack', papers scattering like ash in the firestorm. The raven-haired didn’t look at his friend, couldn’t, really. His gaze fell to the floor, hollow and trembling with a fury that had no direction.

The room grew thick with silence until Erwin moved to his side, placing a hand gently on the seething man’s shoulder. Levi flinched and shoved it off. “Don’t touch me.” he snapped, reflexively. “Only Eren can-” His voice died in his throat.

Not anymore.

The horror hit him then, slow at first, then all at once. Not revulsion at Eren, no. Okay, maybe a bit but mostly... At himself. For seeing Eren that way. For touching him. For tasting lips that belonged to a boy. A real boy, no nickname, no moniker, but a boy as in A FUCKING CHILD.

He felt sick.

Levi staggered to the window, threw it open with enough force to rattle the glass, and doubled over the sill, gagging. His gut convulsed, bile threatening, but nothing came up, just shame. He gasped against the cool night air, shaking.

“He lied... That little shit lied to me! He... He-”
“Levi, you didn't know.” Erwin said from behind, voice low. “I'm sure no malicious intentions crossed Eren’s mind. There’s a difference.”

"No, of course he had no malicious intention or thoughts BECAUSE HE'S A DAMN LITTLE BOY! A MINOR!" the captain shouted in disgust and horror. The was a damn big difference between a 17-year age gap and being in a committed relationship with a legit minor!

He heard Erwin sigh beside him, "Look, you've had a brief infatuation with that boy and now you'll go up to him and tell him it's no match. A few, more intimate, conversations can be excused. No real harm was done. End it before it's too late."

Levi didn’t answer. Couldn’t. Because the harm was already done the second he and Eren had- Oh God!

He leaned over the windowsill once more, gagging into the dark abyss of night.

Because the worst part, the part that threatened to cave in his ribcage, was that he didn’t blame Eren. Not entirely. He blamed himself. He'd without doubt found the young shifter attractive even before this whole mess started. It wasn’t like Eren had deliberately thrown himself at Levi’s feet the second he'd walked into his life.

Erwin’s voice was quieter now, laced with the kind of tiredness reserved for battlefield losses. “You need to sever this, Levi. Maintain distance. Clean slate. Before it gets worse.” Levi gave a small nod, automatic and detached, but some part of him knew it was already too late. Professionalism already shattered the first time he'd let Eren kiss him with trembling lips and a whisper of his name like a prayer.

Oh, how he had loved that boy!
How he still loved him...

The idea of never touching Eren again, never hearing his breath hitch when Levi brushed too close... It carved something visceral out of him. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. Instead, he nodded curtly. “Thank you for the heads up. I'll of course fix it.” he muttered, voice raw. Then he turned and left.

His steps echoed down the corridor like the aftermath of war. When he reached his quarters, he slammed the door shut behind him, bolted it, and stalked to the farthest cupboard. He yanked it open, ignored the stale tea, and dug out the bottle he'd buried long ago beneath old reports.

He didn’t bother with a glass and the first gulp burned. The second numbed. By the third, the edge of his self-hatred began to dull, but nothing could drown the memory of the brunette’s smile, nor the truth that now haunted him.

And in the quiet, with the bottle half-drained and the moon watching like a silent witness, Levi whispered one name like a prayer he'd never worship again:

“Eren.”

Chapter Text

He had never felt this light! This joyful, this ecstatic! Not even when he flew between the trees during practice, ODM gear humming at his hips, with the wind clawing at his skin and the sun blazing in his eyes. This was different, resembling a lightness that came not from flight, but from something far more intoxicating. Something human. Something... Levi.

Oh, he could still feel the captain’s roaming hands, firm and wanting, but trembling just enough to betray feelings. Eren could still taste the black tea on his lips, the bruising kiss behind closed doors, the low voice growling his name into the hollow of his throat. It was real. It was everything he'd ever wanted since his acceptance into the survey corps!

Every time he thought back to their first coupling last week a faint blush still painted his cheeks rosy. Levi had been fierce and gentle, reverent and hungry. The intensity had made Eren ache, in the best and worst ways. Although he had trouble walking straight for a few day, it was totally worth it! Every second of it had branded him, not just physically, though there were marks he had to hide, but also in the marrow of his itty-bitty happy soul.

And so, in the days that followed, the brunette walked with the ghost of a smile. The world could fall to ruin, and it wouldn't matter, not really. Not when he could close his eyes and recall the exact cadence of Levi's breath against his neck, the way he had muttered Eren’s name like it meant something sacred.

In retrospective... Eren was quite glad his otherwise shitty teenage hormones had kept his oblivious light-hearted nature above water for longer that actually possible, before plunging him back into the cold water of reality.

How the fuck did he not notice this earlier?!

As days passed, and the euphoria dimmed, the silence grew louder. With a starting realisation he noticed Levi hadn’t called for him ever since. Not once. No orders barked in a tone just a tad too soft to be harsh, no petty errands as a date excuse, no private rendezvous disguised under the usual guise of "the filth in his office needing attention." None! So, when the younger found excuses himself to pass by the captain’s office, the captain's eyes would flick up, pause on him just a second too long and then drop again, unreadable. Why?!

Ok, so here was the crux: He was goddamn oblivious and naive, and he knew that. Friends and strangers all around him had told him often enough to be imprinted in his mind, but the point was- well... He had hope. Where other people would take a fucking hint, he would dash forward, giving up was not an option. And so at first, Eren Idiot Jaeger thought it was discretion. Because OF COURSE! His Levi had always been discreet. Their relationship was a fire hazard in the dry grass of the Corps: not well-liked, partially illicit and somewhat dangerous on the battlefield. It had to be secret and for a long time Eren cooed mentally at the thought of his captain's effort to keep their love safe. That made sense.

Well, it made sense until it didn't. That was when the touch-avoidance began.

A hand on the captain's shoulder? Brushed off. A soft "Hey" in the corridor? Answered with a clipped nod, sometimes accompanied by a bland "Jaeger." and always followed by an immediate retreat. And worst of all, the lies. The way Levi would spontaneously press the younger up against a wall and kiss him desperately before suddenly retreating, starring at the younger with repressed emotions and flee the scene with quick but calculated steps.

It was subtle at first. Then cruel in its consistency. The brunette had tried to rationalize it. Levi was older, yes. The man was prone to shutting down, hiding behind rigidity and protocols, but it became impossible to ignore the facts when the distance kept growing, the touch decreasing. He didn’t want to see him. He didn’t want to touch him. He didn’t even look at him properly anymore.

It was harsh and cruel and... confusing.
All in all, the hurt began to bloom.

Pain was slow, insidious, something ugly that coiled in his gut and whispered things at night:

'He used you!'
'He got what he wanted.'
'That was all it ever was. You were fresh meat, nothing more.'

Oh, how he tried not to believe it, but it became harder each time he got dismissed. Nights became the worst. Tossing and turning under rough sheets, every movement punctuated by restless, bitter frustration, he fought to stay sane. Across the room, Armin suffered in silence until he finally snapped one night. Even Eren was surprised as the other, usual a calm companion and the best negotiator of them, broke the darkness with a heavy sigh. His tousled head snapping up as tired but sympathetic eyes glared at the troubled green-eyed boy.

“Eren, for heaven’s sake! If you keep this up I'm gonna- uhh..." He sighed again, now softer spoken. "Eren. Either go and finally talk to Mikasa or stop moving. Some of us need sleep at least ONCE this week.”

The brunette froze, caught like a thief in the dark as he stared surprised at his best friend. "I uhh... I'm very sorry for keeping you up this long, Armin. There's just this- No, I- I'll go to sleep now, I promise." He couldn’t tell Armin the truth no matter how urgent he was in need of the blond’s usual wisdom. The shifter couldn’t simply confess that he’d been lying awake thinking about the way Levi used to kiss his palms before threading their fingers together on lonely rides. That he was mourning something that had never had time to bloom.

“And I'm gonna talk to her.” he muttered, voice hollow. “You really should.” Armin said sharply, surprising him. Then softer: “You’ve been… different.” Eren only nodded before turning his back to the blond. He was hurting Armin now, too, and Mikasa. His adoptive sister hadn’t looked at him in a week, not since their argument, and it stung. He missed her comments and the mothering a bit, if only a tiny bit, but it felt... deserved? He'd hurt her deliberately with his words and now that Levi was turning on him too it got quite lonely in this world for him.

Everything was falling apart. So, he made a plan. Fix it, piece by piece and he would begin with Levi!

Two days later, the titan-shifter waited impatiently outside the captain’s office, back pressed to the cold stone wall, stomach twisting with anticipation and dread. He’d rehearsed lines in his head multiple times, tried to imagine how Levi might react. But when his lover finally stepped out with tired eyes and perfect posture, all was for nought, Eren acted on instinct.

“Captain!” he began and then reached forward and entwined their fingers. Levi froze. His entire body stiffened, a tremor visible in the way his jaw clenched. Before he could object though, the younger gently tugged him into a nearby alcove, one of the narrow, shadowed spaces in the hallway, where no one passed at this hour. The air smelled of dust and blade-cleaning-oil, but Levi smelled like himself. Leather and antiseptic and something distinctly herbal graced his nostrils he inhaled deeply.

“Eren, what the hell are you-?!” “I missed you...” he whispered, before leaning in and kissing him. To his shock, and fleeting joy, Levi responded. He didn't just let it happen; he kissed him back! Deep, deliberate, hungry. The older's arm wound around Eren’s waist, pulling him flush to his chest, and for a second the world was perfect again.

And then it shattered.

Suddenly, like waking up from a nightmare, Levi pushed him, hard. Wide steel-grey eyes watched Eren stagger back and hit the opposite wall with a sharp crack of shoulder against stone. Pain lanced down the boy’s arm and he hissed. Confused green orbs stared, stunned and breathless. “S-Sir…?” The captain’s eyes were wild. Not with lust. With fury. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh? Touching your captain like that?!”

“I-I just wanted to be near you. I thought we-” “You thought?” Levi’s voice was razor-sharp. “You thought you could ambush me in the hallway like some lovesick mut?”

Eren’s voice cracked. “You kissed me back. Don’t pretend you didn’t want it.” The other faltered, just for a moment. His gaze flickered to Eren’s arm where the impact had left a red mark. He reached forward instinctively, taking a step closer as if to sooth, then stopped himself mid-motion and curled his fingers into a fist. Eren watched and something inside him broke.

“Why are you acting like this?” he whispered. “What changed?”

Levi’s expression shuttered. “It was a mistake.”
“No, it wasn’t!” Eren said fiercely. “You said- You held me like I mattered.”

“I was wrong.”
“You’re lying.”

Silence. Heavy. Suffocating. Eren was trembling now, tears sliding down his cheeks without permission. “Why? Just tell me, why are you doing this to me?”

“Oh!" The captain’s voice dripped with malicious sarcastic, "Don’t you know? I ain't into goddamn liars." Levi spat, eyes narrowing. “Especially not children pretending to be men.”

Eren’s heart stopped. “What…?”

“My god, Jaeger, FIFTEEN!”

“I- I didn’t mean to-” “You lied!” Levi hissed, now pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “You put me in a position that could cost everything. My command. My integrity. My fucking job.” “I didn’t do it to hurt you. I just- I wanted to be with you. I didn’t think you’d-” “You don't think at all do you?” Levi cut in coldly. “Tch! You never do.”

“I’m sorry.” Eren whispered, but the older man had already built a wall between them. One word at a time while shaking his head in disappointment. “You’re impulsive. Dumb. Childish. Self-centred and audacious to the point of idiocy. You throw yourself into things without considering the damage, and then you look surprised when the world bleeds.” Eren cried openly now, silent sobs shaking his shoulders. “Please stop.”

“You made a fool of me!”
“I didn’t mean to-”
“I don’t fucking care what you meant. I don’t want a shitass relationship built on deception and I sure as hell don’t want to touch a dumb minor.”

Eren gasped, as though Levi had struck him. The captain took a step back, eyes unreadable now. “This?" He gestured between them. "Whatever it was? It’s over. Got it, KID?”

He turned, the green cloak sweeping behind him like a final verdict. Eren was left alone in the darkness, one arm throbbing, the other clenched at his side, nails digging into his palm. The grief was tidal, crushing. All the guilt he had carried for so long about his lie, replaced now by emptiness. For the first time, he breathed without guilt only to choke on sadness.

It was later that day when the commander announced their next expedition beyond the walls.

_____________________

Everything was fucking miserable! Everything that could go wrong went wrong and no salvation was in sight so far. Since the commander announced their trip, everyone had been busy packing, sharpening blades and sorting rations which means Eren had no damn time to properly deal with this mess of emotions and now he fells repressed, awkward and sad.

The brunette sat atop his mare like a man ill at ease in his own skin, shoulders tense, hands twitching restlessly on the reins. The leather saddle creaked beneath his tense posture with each subtle shift of his weight, but the rest of the world passed in a muffled haze. Three days since their argueme- breakup... Three days since the captain told him about their current relationship status and made it clear to be without a future. Great. What more could one ask for in his first committed relationship ever?

“You’re a dumb child.” Levi had said, “an impulsive brat who never thinks.”

The insult rang again in his head, relentless as a war drum and perhaps, Eren thought bitterly, the captain wasn’t wrong. What had he expected? That love could somehow override the law? That desire could supersede the weight of morality? What a pathetic thing to believe. A childish thought.

He now barely heard the sound of hoofbeats against the dirt path as they rode, barely registered the huff of the horses, the clatter of gear, the idle chatter among his fellow comrades trying to brace themselves for the unknown. Even Mikasa’s silent presence to his right felt distant, like a memory he couldn’t quite touch. And then there was the Commander... Erwin’s cold, calculating gaze that lingered on him longer than usual this morning, reminding him of their brief talk a few nights ago. Eren knew the commander held his hopes up hight for his titan abilities and expected a perfect performance from Eren today. Oh, he certainly felt it, that unspoken expectation, the pressure of being the Corps’ secret weapon, their last, best chance, but somehow Eren had no idea what he was anymore. A monster in man’s clothing? A symbol? A weapon?

He sighed, low and quiet, eyes flickering forward. His free hand left the reigns and petted his mare's soft fur gently. Her neck craned into the touch, a gesture that warmed the titan-shifter's heart dearly. There, ahead of the formation, rode the captain. His lov- captain’s figure was poised, impeccable, back straight as his blades, every move moulding to his stallion's movement. Still, there was something else, an intentional detachment that stung worse than any wound every time he'd turn to check on the troop following. He spared the younger no glance. No brief flicker, no sliver of acknowledgment. Not even disdain. Just... nothing.

Clenching his jaw against the burning in his chest, the brunette gritted his teeth with a snarl. Anger flooded his core at the other's blunt ignorance. He fucking missed the little things. The quiet supportive sarcasm, the subtle brush of fingers. Especially, the way Levi had once, during a training mission, deliberately led them off-path just to hold his hand for a moment under the trees, where no one would see.

Now, Levi didn’t even look at him.
It was torture...

Fortunate or rather unfortunately, he had no time to drown in the undertow of heartache, not when the first inhuman shriek cracked through the trees like lightning.

Chaos descended swiftly, his eyes scanning the surrounding in panic. Fucking Titans. Multiple. Screaming, lurching, ravenous as they suddenly approached in a horde. A big horde.

The shifter’s head jerked up, now disoriented. When had they surpassed Wall Rose? He barely recalled the lift. The terrain had shifted, yes, dense forest, canopies stretching high above littered the terrain now, perfect for ODM manoeuvring. Damn, and he was unprepared, too busy battling Cupid's mistake. Stupid, stupid, stupid child, he cursed himself. He hadn’t been paying attention like the oversized toddler he apparently was!

His comrades were already soaring through the trees, blades flashing as Sasha’s voice pierced the din. A cry of agony, close and shrill.

"Fuck, Sasha! Hold on!"

He moved. ODM gear hissed to life as he shot through the air, dodging a lumbering titan’s outstretched hand, missing a tree by mere inches. His blade sang as it found flesh, slicing through an ugly titan’s nape in a spray of steaming blood. He landed hard, twisted and fired again. Another titan, a four-meter class, stomped toward Armin who had fallen, ankle twisted, gas tank damaged. His eyes were wide with terror. "Eren! Mikasa!"

"Armin!" Eren shouted and propelled himself forward. His blades found the titan’s nape just as its mouth gaped open over the fragile blond. The kill was clean, decisive and his friend rolled out from under its falling form, gasping. “Th-thank you-!”

“No time! Here-” Eren barked, handing him one of his tanks. "Take mine, quick!" Throwing the full tank towards the blond, his looked up again. His position on the titan's steaming corpse allowed him a decent overview of the surrounding battle. It was not looking good for them. Everyone was fighting, some more than one titan at once as they had been a small, selected group for the mission.

More titans were coming. Then, all of a sudden, Erwin’s voice boomed through the forest, his words cutting through the brunette like razors. “Eren, we need your titan! Now!” Eren didn’t hesitate. An easy choice and he bit down, hard, tasting blood seeping through.

Transforming was always agony, easy but painful in the process. His nerves flared, bones snapped and reknit with searing speed as flesh roared to life and build the titan form around him. As the shifter emerged in his fifteen-meter frame, a scream echoed through the forest like the war cry. The battle turned.

Crushing one titan beneath his fists, he then swung his arm through another’s skull, bones crunching beneath raw might. His comrades danced around him, Connie, Jean, Mikasa weaving between trunks, striking fast at the distracted titans. But Eren couldn’t focus, not truly. Not when his mind kept drifting to the man up ahead. This rage and adrenaline was simply not sustainable on the long run when emotions would cloud your mind.

And then he saw it. Flaming green eyes widened in horror at the sight.

The captain was mid-air, blades buried to the hilt in a titan’s neck and broke. Swiftly the raven-haired man flew to land on a high branch, face turned to Eren as he renewed his blades. Eren's titan roared load at the unaware man who simply stared at the shifter in confusion. Oblivious that from the trees behind him, an abnormal titan was charging unnaturally fast, its misshapen limbs propelling it forward with nightmarish speed, the captain’s brows narrowed. "Oi, Jaeger, got some titans up your ass? Don’t fucking stare and fight, dumbass!"

For a moment Eren managed to huff in annoyance before refocusing on the imminent danger charging at his captain. Without thinking, he tore away from the titan he was grappling, its teeth clamped around his shoulder, ripping through muscle. In agony he took the pain as payment for his upcoming reckless actions and pulled further. He screamed as his arm was torn away, claimed by the other titan's greedy maw, but he kept moving. He had to!

Only a few more meters before the other abnormal 15-meter class would reach his unguarded captain. With one final surge, he rammed his titan body between the abnormal and Levi. The collision thundered through the trees. Eren’s titan roared as the abnormal’s claws raked across his chest. Giant teeth tore at his only left arm as he fell, collapsing as yet another titan joined and immobilized his legs... but Levi was safe.

Said captain turned sharply, eyes widening in disbelief. The brunette wanted to say something. Anything! To smile, to tell him he still had his back no matter what, to reassure Levi that everything was fine, but-

Agony, pure and unadulterated, speared his nerves. The pain was blinding.

The abnormal latched onto Eren, shrieking, and began to tear. Its massive jaws sank into his side now, ripping away generous chunks of flesh and muscle. The younger screamed, a sound so raw and human that it reverberated through the forest like a wound given voice.

Thinking quick, the captain landed nearby, swords gleaming. With some strength left, Eren turned his head towards him, watching the older man's face twist in fury, not cold calculation, but something primal, something furious. “You fucking abomination!” Levi snarled at the titan. “How dare you touch him-!”

He moved like a shadow of vengeance — slicing the abnormal's legs, then backflipping to sever its spine before finishing it with a precise, brutal slash to the nape. The titan fell, twitching.

Eren’s titan form slumped, bleeding and steaming due to various open wounds and missing limbs. He probably looked like some chew-toy. His consciousness wavered and he barely registered the heat anymore, only the ache of... well, everything. Tired, half-lidded green orbs observed his captain's short form hurrying over. The next thing he felt were tiny razors... or blades, cutting through his nape, slicing down to get to the beaten body underneath. Eren wanted to tell him to stop, it hurt too much. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe and everything was so damn steamy-hot in here!

The sensation of blades at his arms was unsurprising but also unwelcome.

“No...” he whispered, too quiet to hear. “Please don’t-”, but Levi was slicing them off precisely. The pain exploded as nerves tore, Eren’s human body partially fused to the titan. He screamed, arching weakly.

Then he saw Levi’s face.
Not cold, not scornful, but desperate.

“No, no, no, Eren! Hey, stay with me!” Levi begged, voice hoarse. “Don’t you dare go quiet on me, Jaeger. You idiotic, reckless little- Just- stay."

Eren tried to speak, to hold onto that voice that once spat venom and now sounded… scared? But then Mikasa was there. He watched her shove the trembling captain aside with force that startled even him. “Enough!” she barked, arms wrapping around Eren as if her body alone could save him.

“No-” Levi’s voice broke. “Let me-”
“You’ve done enough!” she hissed.

And then everything went black.

_____________________

The remnants of the expedition trudged back towards headquarters, a limb form safely tugged his head under the captain’s chin. The brat, unconscious and battered, was cradled securely in Levi's arms atop his horse. The rhythmic clatter of hooves was the only sound accompanying their sober procession. Hanji rode up alongside Levi, her brow furrowed with concern.

"Heyyy... Sorry, short stuff, we weren't exactly prepared for uhh... you know, actual survivors." she remarked not a tad apologetic while curiously glancing at Eren's limp form. Levi's grip tightened slightly, shielding Eren from her excited gaze. "It’s fine. I already said I'll take him." he stated firmly. Mikasa's voice cut through the air, sharp and accusatory. "Why should we trust him with Eren? He didn't seem to care much during the battle."

Her words hit close to home and he flinched involuntary as Levi remembered Eren’s half-eaten titan soaking the grass red. He hadn’t paid enough attention to his surroundings like a good captain should have, eyes busily trained on glooming green eyes. Levi's gaze met hers, cold and unflinching. "I'm his captain, Ackerman, and legal guardian as per his conditional release from Mitras. This hasn't changed."

The annoyingly stubborn girl opened her mouth to retort but thought better of it, turning away with a huff. Levi nodded satisfied. He really didn't want to beat up Eren’s sister. Well, not today at least, not after all that had happened. With practiced ease, the raven-haired hoisted Eren onto his horse, settling him in front. The shifter instinctively leaned back, his head resting against Levi's shoulder, a soft sigh escaping his lips. This ordinary motion set the captain’s heart embarrassingly quick in flame as he hummed at the sighed, content to know Eren still felt safe within his arms.

Levi's expression softened, his thumb gently tracing circles on the back of Eren's hand. He leaned in, whispering words meant only for Eren's ears.

"You're safe now, brat. Just rest."

Riding alongside him, shitty glasses obviously couldn't resist a tease. Her eyes sparkled with excitement at she reached out to poke Eren’s sleeping form before being brutally slapped away by the snarling captain. "Hey Ouuuu-! Levi come ooon... Uhrg! You act like a doting father. Fine I won't touch your little Eren! Developing paternal instincts, heh shorty?"

These words hit the other like a brick and Levi's face paled, a flicker of discomfort crossing his features. "Tch! I'm no father, and certainly not to this angry goblin here." His words felt dishonest even to himself and Hanji somewhat seemed to call onto his bullshit. Her eyes ogled his tightening arm around Eren, paying attention to his twitching eyebrow he couldn’t downplay when he was worried. "Awww look at you... being such an amazing dad, short stuff! Don’t deny it! I know you’ve got a soft spot for our little Eren here."

He looked down at Eren, then quickly turned away, a hand covering his mouth as he suppressed a gag. A wave of nausea hit him at the thought of him and Eren resembling father and son. It just seemed so wrong after everything that was said and done. "Hanji..." he muttered darkly, teeth grinding harder. She could at least stop calling Eren little. The brat was a tad taller than him already and damn he wasn't even fully grown! Well, Levi thought, he could at least make sure to always be on top no matter how fucking tall his brat would get. Somehow he didn't even consider the implication in his thoughts. "And he's not damn-" he stopped, taking a deep breath, "He's competent, okay? He's not some dumb child. It's my fault he got hurt, I-"

"Ow, Levi... Don't make that sad sad face, pleeeaase!"

"I ain't making any faces. Shut it, four-eyes." he snapped, spurring his horse forward to distance himself from the group for the rest of the ride.

Upon arrival at the headquarters, Levi dismounted and carefully cradled Eren in his arms, carrying him bridal style towards the infirmary. There it was again, this uncanny feeling at the back of his head. His gaze snapped up, his eyes meeting his friend's. Erwin stood nearby, his gaze sharp and assessing. The captain huffed annoyed at the sight as a disapproving, well scolding really, look met his eyes, a silent challenge in his stance. Erwin sighed, placing a hand on Levi's shoulder.

"This is not what I would call 'cutting all ties'." the blond murmured, before walking away, leaving Levi to glare at his own boots. "I'm not- God fucking dammit, eyebrows!"

After marching back inside and retreating to his personal quarters, he chose to stay there until dinner time rolled around.

_____________________

The clatter of utensils and the low murmur of voices reverberated off the dining hall walls, but Levi barely registered any of it. He couldn’t get today's events out of his head, Eren’s screaming image carving itself into his memory deeper any passing second. Erwin’s words rang clear in his head, adding a good dosage of doubt onto his already full plate. He couldn’t help but wonder if he hadn’t reciprocated his brat's feelings, Eren wouldn't have charged at the titan to save him. Judging by the looks his stupidly blond friend shot him the whole time during dinner, their earlier conversation wasn't yet over, a lecture would surely follow.

The raven-haired sat, spine rigid and jaw locked, his untouched plate a rare depiction of the war inside his chest. Across the long wooden table, Erwin Smith’s discerning eyes caught his own once more with quiet scrutiny. The moment his eyebrow raised in the commander's direction he knew it was the wrong thing to do and cursed. "And here we fucking go again..."

“Levi...” Erwin began, voice calm yet imbued with authority, “You- We need to talk about Eren.”
Levi didn’t flinch this time, didn’t even raise his eyes as he reluctantly stared at his untouched food. Merely sipping from the tin cup, the bitter taste of the tea doing little to anchor him, he pursed his lips at the taste. Erwin continued, “You carried him to the basement yourself, Levi." The blond sighed in frustration begore lowering his voice as he leaned in closer to his friend. "You've been checking in on him every hour like a nursemaid. Levi this... uhh, really, I know what he means to you, but this-”

“Shut up.”

The words fell like blades, precise, deliberate, and cutting. Erwin’s gaze softened, not in pity but in familiarity. “You can’t just keep pretending you’ve severed yourself from him. This matter is highly unprofessional. And dangerous. For the both of you. You know Mitras-” Levi’s chair scraped against the stone floor as he stood abruptly. His eyes, cold and sharp, locked onto Erwin's with fury barely restrained. “You think it’s that fucking simple?” he growled, voice low but seething. “You think I can just stop? Like flipping a switch?”

“I didn’t say it would be easy.” Erwin countered gently, setting down his fork with care. “But you’ve always known how to survive. This is no different.”

“No.” the other spat, lip curled in derision, fingers tapping inpatient again the wood. “This, this right here is exactly what's different. You wanna know fucking why? Because this isn’t some fuckass strategic withdrawal or some sacrifice for the mission. This is Eren and for once, Erwin, maybe I don’t want to survive at the cost of what makes me feel alive.”

The silence that followed rang louder than any shouted words. A few cadets had paused mid-bite, turning to watch the brewing storm between the commander and their captain. Some craned their head for a better view on the spectacle.

Levi’s hands trembled, and that incensed him more than anything. He shook his head, voice laced with bitterness. “Is it really that hard for you to see me happy just once? No fights, no titans, just peace in my life... at least outside the missions?” He didn’t wait for an answer. The moment fractured, and he shattered with it, storming out of the hall, past prying eyes, into the cold stone corridor where his footsteps echoed like retreating thunder.

His step led him to the basement without further thinking. It was cloaked in quiet, broken only by the soft, rhythmic sound of his sweet Eren’s breathing. He stood at the threshold for a moment, pulse thudding in his ears. Then he moved.

He crossed the floor with silent steps, sitting beside the bed where Eren lay unmoving, his face pale against the pillow. There were bruises along his collarbone, a faint gash near his temple, and yet he breathed. A welcome indicator of life.

Reaching out before he could think better of it, the captain's fingertips hesitantly lingered over the other, unsure if to proceed or better not. Finally his fingers threaded through dark brown strands, brushing them back with a reverence he couldn’t mask.

His other hand reached up, cupping Eren’s cheek, thumb sweeping gently over skin still too warm from fever. “You stupid brat.” Levi muttered, the words barely more than breath. “Why is it always you, huh?”

And then, as though pulled by a force deeper than pain, he leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to Eren’s brow. He lingered there, lips trembling. He couldn't deny it anymore.

Another kiss followed, this one dedicated to Eren’s lips. Gentle. Worried. Desperate. Real. A groan, faint and broken, escaped the now conscious boy beneath him.

Levi’s heart seized.

Eren’s eyes fluttered open, dazed and unfocused. “...Captain?” Levi froze, inches from him, guilt crashing down like a wave. Big green doe eyes stared at grey ones, noses almost touching as the older quick avoided his gaze, retreating to a safe distance of merely a few more inches. Clearing his throat awkwardly, the captain’s hands nervously tapped the matres. “You’re awake.” he said dryly, peeking at the younger’s perplexed expression. “Congratulations. You got to listen to me make an ass of myself.”

Eren blinked slowly. “Were you… kissing me?” Levi rolled his eyes, a familiar smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Jaeger. You were unconscious. It doesn’t count.”

“Oh no no no! You were, though.”

A pause. Levi sighed. “Fine. Yeah. I was." His hands reached for Eren’s. "Because- uhm... because I’m fucking tired of pretending I don’t want to. Kiss you I mean." Eren eyes widened. "And I’m tired of pretending I don’t-” the raven-haired man faltered, then forced it out through clenched teeth, “-love you.”

Eren sat up a little, wincing, his expression unreadable. “B-But y-you told me you didn't want a liar. A-And a child...” the brunette stuttered less graceful, shame marring his features, eyes downcast.

The older grimaced at that, hand squeezing briefly. “And I stand by what I said." He watched the light in the younger’s gaze die, panicking over his choice of words. "Hey, no, no, no. Eren, listen I'm not- I'd never... fuck." He hid his face in his hands. "I wouldn't touch some ugly ass kid with a ten feet pole, okay? No minor at all.” he clarified.

Watching the brunette's confusion rise, he hurried to continue. “Jesus Eren!" he exclaimed frustrated, "I ain't into children, but- god that sounds so freaky awful... but I'm into you, understood? It was a shitty lie I told myself so I wouldn’t fall apart every time I...” Levi faltered.

Eren’s brows furrowed. “Then why break up in the first place?”

“Because you're FIFTEEN! You’re my Eren, but also A CHILD! I’m not good at this shit, Eren! And this... this constellation is so very wrong, don't you get it?!” Levi barked. “Because loving you feels like holding a live grenade and kissing you is pulling the pin. Erwin will kick my ass and Mitras will transfer you to the military police and I'd lose you and... fucking laws.”

“Oh...” Eren said quietly, hope still sparking. “I guess you’ve always liked dangerous things, eh?” he smiled half-heartedly at the other while delivering his cheer up.

Levi gave a dry, broken laugh. “Tch. Look at you. Still got that smart mouth even half-dead.” The shifter reached out, wrapping trembling fingers around Levi’s wrist. “I missed you.” he said simply.

Levi’s voice cracked. “Yeah. I missed you too, you little liar.” They stared at each other, firelight from the lantern throwing flickers of gold across their faces. Then, Eren surged forward, weak but determined, and their mouths met again. This time, the kiss wasn’t tentative. It was bruising, searing and full of longing and when they finally parted, the younger rested his forehead against Levi’s. “Still think this is a mistake?” he whispered. Levi closed his eyes. “Only if you die again.”

“I’ll try not to.”

Levi smirked. “Good. I’m not kissing a corpse.”
..