Archive of Our Own ^beta

My life has never been better. Ever since my Lotus Flower, Brandon King, entered my life I’ve been the happiest man alive. No matter the trials that we went through, we always found our way back to each other. The day I officially met him at the initiation was the start of an obsession and love that I never thought I would ever have with another person as I was someone who much prefers to sleep around than be tied to a singular person. That is until his posh little accent got in the way of all that. Every meeting after that night was a mixture of different emotions: bliss, ecstasy, passion, hatred, anger, regret, sadness, fear. It felt as though our heads knew that we shouldn’t be together, but our hearts would always find each other even  in our darkest moments. People say that when you contemplate marriage, you end up marrying your best friend, and honestly? I’m marrying more than my best friend. I’m marrying my soulmate. My   beautiful   Lotus Flower. 

It’s been about two months since Bran asked me to marry him. The little shit stole my thunder. Obviously, I said yes, I would never deny my baby anything especially when it comes to our relationship. Planning a wedding was easier than I thought although that mostly has to do with my mom, Astrid, Glyn, Mia, and Maya being in charge of getting everything but a location selected. The location was left to Bran and I, and we settled on Tuscany, Italy. The area we selected was beautiful in the spring, and we couldn’t be happier with our decision. Was it expensive? Of course it was, but we’re both rich so it’s not like it really matters much. It’s been two months since Bran asked me to marry him and tomorrow afternoon, I will be marrying the man of my dreams and taking him to France and then Greece for our honeymoon. 

The next morning came far too quickly as everyone rushed around the wedding venue to make sure everything was perfect. I stood in front of Aidan King, who surprisingly could officiate weddings. Behind me and to my left Jeremy, Mia, and Maya. Jeremy was my best man having been there for me through thick and thin and never giving up on me no matter how many times he should have. Mia and Maya were my best women. The two fought for days on who got to be my best woman until Bran suggested they both do it. Bran and I fought on whether one of us should be walked down the aisle. I said he should because I wanted whoever walked him down the aisle to know that they are giving him to me. How he’ll officially be mine until we die. He argued that he wasn’t a girl and didn’t need to be walked down the aisle, but ultimately I won and he was being walked down the aisle. By his brother because and I quote: 

“It’s only logical that I give him away. I’ll kill the bastard Nikolai if he says otherwise.” 

And so, when the clock struck 2 in the afternoon and the music started, everyone we invited stood and turned towards the door. I pulled at the collar of my black suit. God, I was nervous and excited at the same time. I watched as the doors opened and the King twins walked down the aisle together, arms linked together with two wide identical grins on their faces. There were already tears gathering in the eyes of some of those that were attending, and Astrid and mom were already sobbing hard at the thought that their babies were getting married. Landon and Brandon arrived at the altar, the older King twin released his brother and giving him an uncharacteristic kiss on the cheek (and I swear there was a tear going down the bastard’s cheek) and moved to stand next to Glyndon, who was Brandon’s best woman and his twin being his best man. 

Aiden looked at the both of us and I noticed the smile on his face as he went through the steps of the wedding. It felt like forever until we finally reached the part where we read our vows. Aiden began with me and I spoke: 

“Brandon...

I never believed in peace until I found it in your chaos.
You are fire and defiance, the storm I tried to tame but instead surrendered to.
You saw the monster beneath my skin, and instead of running, you stood closer.
You made war feel like home.

In this world of shadows and blood, you are the only light I ever craved.
Not because you’re flawless—because you’re real. Brutally, beautifully real.
You call me out, pull me back, and make me want to be a man worthy of standing beside you.

So I vow this, in front of gods, devils, and whatever else is watching:
I will be your shield when the world turns its knives toward you.
I will never lie to you, not even to protect myself.
I will love you with the violence of my soul, with the quiet of my arms around you, and with the promise that no one—no one—will ever take you from me.

You’re my choice, every day, in every lifetime.
And I will burn this world down before I ever let you forget that.”

Brandon’s eyes were filled with tears even as his uncle turned to him and motioned for him to begin his own vows. His voice broke as he stumbled over his words. 

“Nikolai…

They told me vows were promises. Gentle words for a peaceful life.
But you and I? We were never made for peace.
We were made for survival. For fury. For love that bleeds when it’s silent.

You once told me love was a weakness.
But look at me now—breaking in front of you, because loving you made me stronger than anything I ever was alone.”

Flashbacks went through my mind of finding out about his cuts, about how he felt completely and utterly worthless compared to someone like his brother, and how he was taken advantage of as a child. 

“So here’s my vow.
I won’t promise forever.
I promise now. This breath. This heartbeat.
I promise to keep dragging you back to life, even if you fight me every step.

You’re not allowed to leave me.
Not like this. Not in silence.
Not when you still owe me that last dance in the dark,
that final kiss before we start again,
that look only I know how to read—when the whole world is chaos, and you still choose me.”

My heart clenched as tears welled up in my own eyes. God, those were the words we said to each other multiple times. How we aren’t allowed to leave each other. How we’ll always drag each other back if need be. 

“So wake the hell up, Sokolov.

Because you’re saying ‘I love you’ to a ghost.

And I wish I didn’t have to say goodbye.”

Cold sweat covered my skin as I jerked awake from my position on a hospital bed. I looked around, confused on why I wasn’t with Tuscany finishing my wedding with Lotus Flower and then taking him in both the metaphorical to France and Greece. 

“Nikolai…” 

A sob reached my ears as I looked over and noticed that Astrid, Levi, and Glyndon were beside the bed I was laying on. Glyndon wasa the one who spoke but Astrid was the one who let out the sob. I looked at them in confusion. Why were they upset? We were just having a fun time in Tuscany. It was beautiful. It was peaceful. It was the calm that all of us deserved after the hell we’ve all been through. So why were they acting as if that happiness never happened? 

“Wh-What’s going on? Why am I in a hospital bed?” 

My voice felt rough and I had no idea why. It felt raw, as if I had been screaming for a long period of time. Levi cleared his throat and sucked in a deep breath to calm the nerves that were evident on his face. 

“Nikolai, the doctors…they had to admit you and Landon to the hospital after sedating you both.” 

I was shocked. Sedated? Why would I have to be sedated? Why would Landon have to be sedated? I looked over and saw Landon still deep in his sedated sleep. That doesn’t sit well in my stomach. I looked around the rest of the hospital room and didn’t spot the one person I wanted to see. I licked my lips as I looked at Bran’s family. 

“Where’s Bran?” 

That seemed to be the final nail in the coffin and Levi couldn’t even hold in his own sobs anymore. Astrid looked like she would be sick and she got up going into the bathroom that was attached to the room. What the hell? Why are they acting like this? 

“Glyn where the fuck is Brandon?” 

My breath was coming out quicker. Their reactions were scaring me and I rarely get scared by anything. Glyn tried to hold back her tears long enough to explain what was going on but she couldn’t even get past his name before breaking down more. Levi was no help either. 

“Brandon…” A male voice said, and I looked as Jeremy, my father, mother, Killian, Gareth, and my sisters walked into the room. The one who spoke was Jeremy. The rest of the heathens and my sisters looked tired, Killian and Jeremy’s shirts were tear soaked as well.

“Spit it out Jer, where is Brandon?” 

“Nikolai, god I don’t know how to tell you this,” He spoke, running his hand through his hair as his own hands shook with an unknown emotion. He took a breath and spoke the words that shattered my world to pieces. I knew I would never be the same after hearing the news. 

“Brandon King passed away at 2 a.m. this morning at Aegis Aid Hospital after 7 hours in surgery after suffering from blood loss from a wound to his neck.” 

Brandon was dead. 

Everything about Tuscany and our wedding and our future honeymoon was fake. 

Those promises we made to each other in the dreams were lies. 

The love we felt in those dreams were lies. 

My Lotus Flower was dead and nothing I could do would bring him back. 

I would never come back from this.