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The beach was where Guzma found himself most days.
He found it calming, but not so much he may have been bored; the waves crashed against the rocks scattered around, pushing seaweed and salt onto whatever it hit. The sea was always the same, too. Never would change, only subtly over time.
Guzma wishes he could say the same about himself.
Every single change that has happened to him, let it be from ten years ago or ten minutes, always found a way to be more drastic than the last. Leaving home, swearing off the challenges, forming Team Skull, but, was disbanding really that easy? He had just told everyone to go home, to loving families and friends who they can rely on.
And here he was. Only him and his Pokémon, watching the waves.
A few days later, Guzma found himself back on that same beach, but this time he had someone with him.
“What now?” Kukui asked, lying on the sand only a few feet away from the other.
“… I’m not sure.”.
They sat in an uncomfortable silence until Guzma spoke again.
“Everyone in Team Skull, they had someone to rely on, a mom, dad, brother, cousin, hell, even a friend or two. But me? All I have is my bugs.”.
“You know thats not quite true,” Kukui smiled. “Me and the kid are always happy to help you out.”.
“Thats my issue!” Guzma had started shouting a bit, not upset but just a little worried. “I don’t need help, I have a place, food, whatever I would need in life.”
“I have everything, besides a purpose.”
They were met with a pregnant pause.
“When I had Team Skull, they needed me. A leader, someone to tell them what to do. Something to lead by. When I was young, i had my trials, a measurable thing. Now, it’s just, I have nothing. My Pokemon need me, of course, but what else?”.
Kukui and Guzma sat in silence for a few minutes, the pair holding the words together. What, if anything, makes him feel needed, necessary? If anyone could answer this, Kukui could.
“Your bugs.”.
Guzma looked at him for few moments, until Kukui repeated it.
“The bugs, you love them, right?” Guzma nodded, still confused. “Well, not everyone does, and the bugs here are being treated terribly as it is. With the league coming in, tourism will make the bugs lifes harder than ever.”.
“So… you think I should help them?” He clarified.
“Yeah! Like, a sanctuary or something. It doesn’t even have to be that, even. You can keep track of the bugs, make sure nobody’s messing with them, make sure they’re being fed and cared. Who else will?”.
Guzma thought for a moment. Who else will? Kukui tried, and nobody at the Pokemon school knew much about bugs either. It was just him, as far as he was concerned.
“Well… will you try it, at least?” Kukui asked, noticing the other thinking about it intensely.
“… Maybe.”.
Guzma found himself at the beach by himself this time, only with himself. No Pokemon. They were at his home, sleeping. Like he should be, honestly, but Kukuis words were stuck in his mind.
The bugs were all he had, all the worth he had… but who else would love these bugs like he did? Who else would appreciate and care for them like he wishes he could for all the bugs in the world, let alone the islands?
He would try, he thinks, trying is the minimum these bugs deserved. More than the neglect they got from ex trainers and their fellow pokemon, let alone tourists and other people who would disregard and disrespect them more and more every single day. Starting small was the first thing to do, he thought.
When he got up to leave, to finally go to bed after so many hours of contemplating on the beach… there he was. A small Grubbin stuck in the sand, his mandibles holding onto a berry he was desperate for. This was his chance to be needed, to have something to live for.
Picking him out by his body, Guzma gently placed him onto the hard grass just a few feet away, and pulled a few more berries out of his pocket to hand to the friend, offering something so that he trusted Guzma, something that was not easily earned, especially for the man.
The Grubbin eagerly took all the berries it could hold in-between it's pincors, his eyes sparkling with excitement. It didn’t think twice about the m man being untrustworthy or weird, just that he was feeding it and it was hungry. Guzma could do this, he could at least try to do this with every bug he could find.
Even if his team didn’t really need him anymore, at least his bugs did.