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Cold read of you could write a book on how to ruin someone’s perfect day, by livinginaworldofnoise
1:23:36 | 68 Mb
Also available to stream or download here
And, just because, Weebl sleeping on our wee cat couch. <3
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[Podfic] Cold read of you could write a book on how to ruin someone’s perfect day
kisahawklin
Summary:
“Ask a Librarian” Chat Log Archive
WEI WUXIAN: my doctor diagnosed me with librariphobia so i can’t come return my books it’s a very serious condition
LIBRARIAN: Fear of libraries? Ridiculous.
WEI WUXIAN: fear of librarians actually! i can’t get within 1000ft of them
LIBRARIAN: Then it’s best for us to stop conversing.
WEI WUXIAN: but then how will i get my fines cleared?
LIBRARIAN: You are not getting your fines cleared.
WEI WUXIAN: this is extremely cruel and unusual
LIBRARIAN: If you say so.
[Librarian has disconnected.]OR: delinquent library patron!wwx's favorite pastime is pestering librarian!lwj through the online chat
Notes:
AUTHOR'S NOTES: welcome welcome welcome to another installment of epistolary crackfics (if you're new here, i even have a handy masterlist of all my previous weird-format fics for you to peruse!)
i'm not sure how this idea didn't occur to me sooner since i worked at my local library throughout high school and then at my university library throughout college! unfortunately i was not a very good library employee because i did not enjoy talking to patrons and in fact i pretended not to hear the phone ringing every time in the vain hope that someone else would pick it up. also i fell asleep at my desk approximately 100 times per shift. and i used to look up my professors' library accounts out of curiosity to see what they had checked out, sort of like a library raccoon searching through someone's garbage can
one time a woman told me that the government was hacking her library computer to prevent her from printing a document (it was like a 50-page Word doc rant about how she was going to sue the federal government) and of course i had no idea how the library printers worked (employee of the year!!!!) so she became even more convinced that the government was after her. "the government" also somehow planted porn on her son's computer so she had a lot of grievances
anyway enjoy the fic i guess <3333 i no longer care if it makes sense bc it is 2am
PODFICCER'S NOTES: OMG amazing, this is truly just. too good. I don't know how livinginaworldofnoise does it, but these are always hilarious. Amazing, A+, 10/10, way to go! Somehow both a laugh a minute and cozy enough for me to want to take it to bed for a nap. :D
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