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“Buck, you need to get out of this house and stop moping.” Bobby stood at the end of his bed, arms crossed.
Buck wiggled further under the blankets, hiding from him.
Bobby sat down on the edge of the bed and placed a gentle hand on the lump under the blankets, “Kid, you need to get up, it’s not healthy for you to stay in bed all day.”
“I’m not staying in bed all day.” His voice was muffled by the massive pile of blankets, “I’m still going to work.”
“You’re working and sleeping, nothing else, that’s not living.” Bobby let out a sad sigh, “Look, he’s been gone for two months and you’ve not been okay since, I’m really worried about you, Buck, you’re tired all the time and you’re losing weight at an alarming rate. You can’t carry on like this.” Buck just let out a grumble in response, “So here’s what we’re gonna do, Athena’s at the port looking into a case on a cruise ship, so we’re going to go down and say hi, and then have a wander and check out the area, okay?”
“Don’t wanna.”
“You don’t really get a say in this, it wasn’t a choice.” Bobby pulled the covers back.
Buck rolled over, back to the other man, “Fuck off Pops.”
“Buck, I can and will carry you out of here if need be, I’m not above dragging you out of here in your pyjamas.”
“I hate that you care about me.”
Bobby let out a light chuckle, “No you don’t.” Buck grumbled again, but this time it was one of affectionate agreement, “Come on, up and at ‘em.” Buck dragged himself out of bed, glaring at Bobby, but there was no heat behind it. “Get dressed, I’ll be in the kitchen.”
Buck slumped back in his seat, Bobby driving them through the city and towards the port, “There’s a nice little place we can get lunch at, it’s right on the seafront, stunning view, great food, Athena and I went there before our cruise. So we could see if we could have a poke around the ship before we get something to eat?” Buck just nodded. Bobby glanced over at him and sighed, “Look, I know you miss Eddie, kid, but shutting the world out isn’t going to make it any better.”
“I know.” He rested his head against the window, watching the world slide by, “But it feels like I’m missing a limb.”
“I bet. But it’ll get easier, I promise.”
“What if I don’t want it to get easier?”
“What do you mean?”
Buck huffed out a little sigh, breath fogging up the glass, “If I stop missing him, it means he’s gone for good and I’ve accepted it.” He sat up straight and faced Bobby, “Like, if I stop missing him, does that mean I care about him less?”
Bobby took one hand off of the wheel so he could squeeze Buck’s knee, the closest he could get to giving him some form of physical comfort, knowing the kid thrived on physical affection, he was probably the most tactile person Bobby knew. “It doesn’t mean you love him any less, you‘re just learning to live with the grief, and that’s okay.” He patted Buck’s knee then took his hand back.
“Whoa, I never said ‘love’.” Buck spluttered. “I don’t ‘love’ Eddie.”
“Hm, okay.” Bobby didn’t sound convinced, side eyeing Buck.
“I don’t, he’s just my friend. He’s my best friend, that’s all.”
“Hey, hey, I’m not disputing that.” Buck slumped back into his chair as they pulled into the parking lot, a large cruise ship with ‘The Odyssey’ painted on the side looming not too far away. Bobby spotted Athena’s cruiser and a free space so pulled up next to it.
He turned the car off and got out, walking around and knocking on Buck’s window, “Come on, out you get kid.”
Buck pulled himself out of the car and shoved his hands in his pockets, following Bobby to the port as they walked towards the cruise ship.
“Are you okay getting on this thing?” Buck asked, dragging his feet.
Bobby put his sunglasses on, “Eh, I’ll be fine.”
“You know, I’ve never been on a cruise ship before, I mean, I spent a season working yachts but that’s a whole other world.” Buck was beginning to perk up somewhat the closer they got to the boat.
“That must’ve been… interesting.”
Buck chuckled, “Yeah, you’re with one group of rich arseholes on a small boat, there’s no escaping them and their demands. Our bosun spent some time on cruise ships at the beginning of his career,” He explained, “He said that at least on these not everyone are entitled dicks, you still get them but they’re diluted.”
Bobby chuckled, “I can imagine. Another reason I’m glad we’ve not actually got tickets for this.”
Buck spotted a familiar uniform on the jetty, “Hey, that’s Officer Williams!”
“Athena, said she’d send him down to get us on the boat.”
Realisation dawned on Buck’s face, “Because we’re not actually supposed to be here.”
“Exactly.”
They made it to the jetty and greeted Williams, “Detectives Nash and Buckley, good to see you.” He subtly side-eyed the woman on check-in, a clear sign to tell them to go along with it, “Sergeant Grant sent me to get you, if you’d like to follow me.”
The three of them stood on the travelator, heading through the tunnel, casino themed stock footage playing around them, “Bit tacky for such a fancy boat, don’t you think?” Buck whispered to Bobby, trying to make sure no guests heard him.
Bobby hummed in agreement, “You’d think they could afford something a little classier.”
“Oh, I love it when you get bitchy Cap.” Buck’s mood had cleared up now that he had a distraction, something Bobby was grateful for.
“I’ve already almost died on one ship, I’ve earned the right to be a cunt.”
Buck gasped, face lighting up, “Oh my God, I’m being treated today, you’re bitchy and landing the hard swears.” A mischievous smirk took over Buck’s face, “I’m telling Athena.”
“Don’t you dare tell your Mother.” Bobby scowled, only half serious.
They came to the end of the tunnel and Buck immediately spotted Athena in the lobby, “Too late.” He wove through the crowd, Bobby hot on his heels. He reached her just as she was handing the criminal off to an officer, “Sergeant!” Buck greeted, unsure if he was still supposed to be keeping up the ruse.
“Hello Buckaroo.” She pulled him into a hug, so he was in the clear.
He squeezed her tightly and lifted her up, “Hey.” He put her back down on the ground as Bobby joined them, “Just so you know Bobby said ‘cunt’ like thirty seconds ago.”
Athena crossed her arms and stared them both down, “And now you did too. I’m disappointed in you two.” She looked over at the officer who was leading their culprit away, “I need to go and grab his bag, wait for me here and then we’ll go.”
“Wait, we only get to see the lobby?” Buck looked gutted.
“Well, if you hadn’t taken so long to get out of bed we would have had more time aboard.” Bobby told him.
“I’m depressed.” Buck argued, “I have depression. I’m mentally ill Bobby, you’re not allowed to be mean to me.”
Bobby chuckled and shook his head, “Look, they're giving out welcome drinks, go see how many you can steal for yourself.” He pointed towards a person in uniform with a tray full of drinks, Buck scuttling off to grab one from them, planning on hitting up every single person in uniform with a tray so he could get as many beverages as possible.
Athena chuckled as she shook her head, “That boy.”
“You go grab this bag and I’ll see you in a minute.” He gave her hand a squeeze and then she left.
Bobby watched as Buck moved about, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible but failing miserably. Bobby was just glad that the kid had a smile on his face, Eddie had been gone for eight and a half weeks now and it’d been really tough on Buck, the kid’s mental health tanking as a result. He was oscillating between living in a depressed fog and manically throwing himself head first into danger with no inbetween. Usually existing in the former, the latter only coming out on calls.
At the fifteen minute mark Buck came over to stand with Bobby, a drink in hand, “Hey, is Athena back yet?” He asked, taking a sip of his cocktail.
Bobby frowned, “Not yet, but it’s a big ship, it might be taking a little while to get there and back.” It was highly feasible, Bobby remembered how much of a trek it would be to get from one end of the ship to the other on his and Athena’s honeymoon cruise.
It was at the twenty-five minute mark he began to get worried so he went over to the concierge, “Hi, I’m just wondering, when you board is your luggage taken straight to your room or is it stored elsewhere?”
“Straight to the rooms sir, although we do usually have to keep them to one side as during busy periods we haven’t got enough crew to immediately deliver everything to passenger cabins.”
He nodded, “And typically would all bags have been put away in rooms or would some still be in holding by this time?”
“They should’ve all been delivered to rooms. Are you having problems locating some of your luggage?”
“No, I’m just curious, it’s my first cruise.” He was lying through his teeth but he didn’t want to be rude and just walk away or give a suspicious answer. “But thank you so much.”
“That’s alright sir, enjoy your time aboard The Odyssey.” She gave him her biggest customer service smile before she turned back to her computer.
Bobby went back over to Buck, “Boat’s leaving any second.” the younger man informed him, “And still no Athena.”
“All bags have been dropped off in rooms by the crew so we have no way of knowing which cabin she’s in.”
“I’ve tried calling her but it keeps going straight to voicemail.” They heard a horn blare loudly, “Aaaand there goes the boat.” Buck grimaced at Bobby, “Looks like we’re stuck here.”
“Fuck.”
“My husband and son should be in the lobby, would someone be able to go and get them?” Athena asked, sitting on one of the infirmary beds, an ice pack on her wrist.
“Of course.” The Doctor said, smiling at her.
“Thank you Doctor Bankman.”
He shook his head with an amused smirk, “Please, just Max is fine.” He then turned behind him and called out to one of his team, “Tristan, could you do me a favour and go to the lobby to find Sergeant Grant’s family for me?”
Tristan walked over to them, “Yeah, sure, what do they look like?”
“My son, Buck, will be easiest to spot, he’s six two, white, curly, mousy brown hair, with a pink birthmark above his left eye. He’ll be with my husband, but if not he’ll be able to help you find him.”
“Right, I’ll only be a minute.” And then he left.
Max looked at her, smirking, “I see you didn’t mention them being in uniform, so either they’re not uniformed officers or they’re not police at all.” He guessed.
Athena let out a breathy ‘ha’ having been caught out, “They’re the latter I’m afraid to say.”
“And I’m assuming they don’t have tickets?”
“No, Buck, my son, he’s been having a major depressive episode so me and my husband thought it’d be good to get him out of the house.”
“And sneak him on to a cruise ship?” Max seemed more amused than anything, clearly not minding that they had stowaways.
“His best friend moved very far away and they were known to be a pair of trouble makers, it only felt right to let him get into some more trouble to make him feel better.”
“Well, that’s teenagers for you, being a trouble maker is part of growing up. I know I was definitely a handful.”
Athena laughed loudly, causing Max to cock his head in confusion, “Would you believe me if I told you he was thirty-three?”
“Well, some boys never grow out of mischief.”
“Trust me when I say Buck is very much one of those boys.”
Max smirked at her, having found the perfect distraction for her cruise ship fear, “Well, Buck’s not here yet, care to share any stories about his shenanigans.”
“Oh, the list is endless, and I’m sure I don’t even know the half of it.” She shook her head fondly, thinking back on Buck’s many misadventures, “I had to briefly arrest him for tampering with a crime scene once.” Max’s jaw dropped which got a chuckle out of Athena, “He’s been involved in a bank heist, not on purpose of course. Oh, he once tried to deflate a corpse even though the coroner told him it wouldn’t be possible, but he stabbed it and got fluids everywhere apparently. And one time he managed to get himself kidnapped by some escaped convicts, no one was shocked that it was him and his best friend, trouble magnets the both of them.”
“Wow.”
“You’ll love him, he’s a medical marvel.”
“Oh yeah?” That had Max intrigued.
“His leg was crushed by a ladder truck so it had to be amputated but somehow he was pretty much back up on his foot immediately, fast tracked PT and ended up on a prosthetic in no time at all as if nothing had happened.
“But about six months later he developed blood clots due to medication his doctor had put him on, which gave him a pulmonary embolism, which he survived, and then about a week later he was on the pier when the Santa Monica tsunami hit, walking the streets whilst bleeding out on blood thinners, looking for his kid.”
“Okay, that is, that’s, wow, I mean, shit.”
Athena laughed, “Right? And don’t get me started on the time he was struck by lightning.”
Before they could continue chatting Tristan led Bobby and Buck into the infirmary.
“Athena, what happened?” Bobby asked, heading straight over to her and giving her a hug.
Athena huffed and shook her head, “I got locked in a closet of all things. And now we’re stuck on this floating death trap.”
“Ah, I assume you were both on the cruise ship with Athena last year?” Max said, turning to the two men.
“No, it was just myself and Athena, belated honeymoon cruise.” Bobby explained.
“I mean I did end up joining you.” Buck pointed out.
“In a stolen helicopter.” Bobby clarified.
Buck waved him off, “I still joined you, I was just part of the rescue party.”
“Well, Max, I should probably introduce you to my husband, Captain Bobby Nash,” she pointed at Bobby who stepped forward and shook the doctor's hand, “and this is Evan Buckley, but everyone calls him Buck, he’s my stepson.”
“Or at least that’s the easiest way to explain it, it gets too complicated otherwise.” Buck explained as he stepped forward to shake hands.
“Doctor Maxwell Bankman, but please, call me Max.” He then indicated to Tristan, “You’ve already met Tristan, he’s one of my nurses and Avery should be around here somewhere, she’s our nurse practitioner.”
“So, where do we go from here?” Bobby asked.
“Our Captain’s on his way down,” Tristan informed them, “He’ll have the answers for you.”
It didn’t take The Odyssey’s Captain long to join them, he nodded at Max before introducing himself to the stowaways, “I’m Captain Robert Massey.” He’d already met Athena when she came aboard, so it was more aimed at Buck and Bobby, he then addressed all three of them, “I’m so sorry you’ve gotten stuck here but let me assure you The Odyssey is the best of the best and we’ll be sure to take good care of you.”
“Thank you Captain, we appreciate it.” Athena then began her own introductions, “This is my husband Captain Bobby Nash and our son Evan Buckley, but we all call him Buck.”
“It’s a pleasure, Captain.” Bobby stuck his hand out to shake.
“Likewise, Captain.” Captain Massey chuckled, “Although I must say I’m surprised to see a police Captain here, even if you are married to the wonderful Sergeant Grant.”
Bobby cringed a little, “I’m, uh, actually a fire Captain, and Buck here is one of my firefighters.” Buck gave him an awkward wave.
Captain Massey eyed them suspiciously, “We’ve had no fires, and even if we did we have our own fire officers. So pardon my confusion but why are you aboard my ship?”
Bobby and Buck exchanged a look, the both of them looking like deer in headlights, “We, uh-” Buck was a shit liar so Bobby had to step in before the other man said something stupid, unfortunately he couldn’t come up with an excuse either.
Thankfully Athena was there, “You see, we were going to get lunch after I’d disembarked, but these two trouble makers managed to sneak aboard to surprise me.”
And then Max stepped in, backing Athena up, “Athena was actually telling me that Buck’s always been a bit mischievous, ever since he was a kid. Having met him I can’t say I’m surprised.” He sent Buck a cheeky wink.
“But you’ve been struggling with his mental health, haven’t you, Baby?” Buck nodded along with Athena, “and decided to give in to old habits. Isn’t that right?” Athena continued.
“Uh, ye-yeah.” Buck stuttered.
“Bobby had to chase him aboard in the hopes of getting him off before it was too late.” She tutted and shook her head, “Just our luck that the three of us got stuck here.”
“Oh, uh, yeah, sorry, uh, sorry Captain Massey, sir.” Buck stuttered, “I- uh, wasn’t really thinking, I just, uh, I didn’t think the boat would leave with us onboard, I just wanted to see the place. And, you know, my, uh, there was, was the, uh, added bonus of my, uh, well, Mum’s here.” He cringed a little at that, he was letting his mouth get away from him, “When I’m depressed I make stupid decisions.” He eventually blurted out.
“I can confirm that.” Bobby nodded along. “He once climbed a crane during an active sniper epidemic.”
“Yeah, my best friend was in a coma.”
“And he didn’t have a harness on.”
“Stupid depression decision.”
Athena wanted to facepalm so bad but she couldn’t, not whilst the Captain was watching, instead she spoke up, “I apologise for my son and husbands behaviour.”
“Well, you’re here now and there’s nothing we can do until we dock in three days.” Captain Massey said, “And there’s a room that’s just become available, so you’re in luck.”
When Athena first boarded The Odyssey she hadn’t expected to have a fashion montage moment, but here she was, with a random old woman and a nurse trying on some absolutely stunning dresses.
And it was actually the perfect distraction, especially because her current company was such good fun.
It was as they were taking a break, indulging in the champagne they’d been brought (she’d been pleasantly surprised at how accommodating Captain Massey had been, considering Buck and Bobby had snuck aboard), that June asked the question Athena had been itching to, “How far along are you?”
Avery looked a bit startled by that, as if two Mothers couldn’t tell a pregnancy from a mile off.
“You haven’t taken a single sip of your drink and yet we’re on our second bottle.” She pointed out, backing June up.
“I, uh, it, it’s still early.” She admitted.
Athena put her glass down, making it clear that Avery had her full attention, “Kids are one of the best things in the world, but they’re also one of the most annoying.” She chuckled, “But they’re so worth it, if that’s what you want for yourself.”
June’s eyes got all soft and sappy, “How old are yours?”
“Thirty-three, twenty-three and seventeen.” She chuckled, “And let me tell you, my thirty-three year old is plenty of proof of how chaotic and wild children can be. Even now, the situations he lands himself in are unbelievable. But he’s wonderful, all my kids are, and I am so grateful to have them in my life, even if they are giving me grey hairs.” She then got serious again, “Avery, children are a blessing, mine are the lights of my life, and I would do anything for them. So if you want to have kids I wholeheartedly encourage it, they will bring you so much joy. But if you’re not ready, or if it’s something you don’t want for yourself, then that’s okay too, children are a lot of work and they require sacrifices, but I guarantee you, if you want to be a mother then those sacrifices will feel worthwhile, they did for me.”
Bobby and Buck had ended up in Max’s room with him and Tristan.
Max, Tristan and Bobby were relaxing on the couch watching as Buck showed off one of the suits, giving them an awkward twirl.
“How do you feel?” Bobby asked.
“Like I’m about to choke on bread.” Buck huffed. Tristan and Max shared a confused look, “Last time I wore a suit with a tie that wasn’t my uniform one I choked on bread.” He explained.
“...Okay?” Tristan cocked his head in confusion, “Weirdly specific memory.”
Buck rubbed the back of his neck, cringing a bit, “I choked on it so bad I had an emergency field tracheotomy.”
Max couldn’t help but laugh at that, “Wow, your Mum was right about you, you really are a medical marvel and a trouble maker.”
Buck let out an indignant squawk whilst Bobby laughed loudly, “She really is right Buck, I would’ve said the exact same thing.”
“Okay, you’re really rude.” Buck snarked, voice and face deadpan.
Bobby held his hands up in surrender, a wicked twinkle in his eyes, “I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.”
Buck crossed his arms, “That’s it, I’m transferring to the 133 and Captain Metha will be my new Dad.” He was joking, obviously, but following the sniper attack on Eddie, Jeshan had offered him a position should he ever want to transfer houses and a promotion to Lieutenant, but he’d turned him down, the 118 were his family and no one could replace them.
“I’m going to pretend I know what’s going on here.” Max said, reaching forward and grabbing his whiskey and taking a sip, “But is this suit a yes or no?”
“The colour works for you, brings out your eyes.” Tristan told him, Buck preened a bit under the praise.
He nodded, “Yeah, okay, let’s add this to the yes pile.”
Tristan stood and went back to the rack, sliding through the options, he pulled out a blue suit and black turtleneck. As soon as Buck saw it his face paled, “No, no, not that one. Anything but.”
“Blue and black’s a good combo, I could see you rocking a turtleneck.” Tristan held it up close to him.
Buck stepped back, “I’m not disputing that, I’m not disputing either, but I’m not wearing that.”
“Well, you don’t know you won’t like it if you don’t try it.” Max jumped in, backing Tristan up.
“Bobby I can’t.”
“That’s alright kid, it’s just a suit, right? If you don’t wanna wear it you don’t have to wear it.”
“Alright, well, I still stand by it being a good choice.” Tristan said with a shrug, putting it away and pulling out another combination.
“So, that suit.” Bobby began, looking over his glass at Buck, the pair were sat at the bar whilst Athena was off being a professional, “That wasn’t just a style choice, was it?”
Buck necked last of his rum and coke, trying to avoid the conversation, “Want another drink?” He asked Bobby instead, already flagging down the bartender, “Double rum and coke and- Bobby same again?”
“Please.”
“Club soda and lime.” Buck finished. Getting a nod from the bartender.
“Buck, I know you’re avoiding the question,” Buck pulled the lime out of his drink and began sucking it, looking away from Bobby, “Kid?”
After a moment, once he’d finished sucking all the juice out of the garnish, Buck finally dropped it back in the glass, taking the fresh drink from the bartender with a ‘thanks’ and took a big swig, psyching himself up to say what he needed to say, “Uh, Eddie wore pretty much the same suit when we went out one night just after the lightning strike.”
“Oh geez kid, no wonder you don’t wanna wear that.” Bobby placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “I know it’s been hard on you, him not being here, but we’re gonna get through this, together.”
Buck nodded, looking down into his drink then up at the ceiling, blinking as he tried to stave off tears. Ultimately failing he dropped his head into his hands as a few tears slipped out, “I really fucking miss him Bobby.” He looked over at the other man, wiping the tears from his face, “I keep going to make comments or jokes, you know, turning to him to make some quip but he’s not there and I keep forgetting. Or I’ll sway to bump shoulders with him, but all there is is air. Or Ravi. And don’t get me wrong, Ravi is great, but-”
“He’s not Eddie.” Bobby finished for him, taking his hand back.
“Yeah, he’s not Eddie.”
“I hate to say it, but you’ll get used to it, you’ll fall into this new normal and you’ll learn to live with it.”
Buck huffed, trying to get the anger out of his body before he said anything stupid, “But I don’t want a new normal. I want my old normal. I want Eddie back.”
“But don’t forget, he’s gone for a good cause. Him and Chris will be back before you know it.”
“No, no they won’t.” Buck chugged the rest of his drink, “He brought a house Bobby, he didn’t rent, he brought, and it’s a fixer upper, a long term project, it’s pretty fucking obvious that he’s not coming back.” And then Buck started to spiral, properly spiral, “And part of me wants to follow him out there, chase him down and say ‘let me be a part of your life’, because I don’t see the point of anything without him, so much of me is made up of him, he’s carved out a space in me and now he’s gone it’s like there’s this huge fucking hole in my chest, I feel empty and I can’t find anything to fill that void, so I work and I sleep and I hope to God that he’ll come back or I’ll find something or someone that will at least make that hole a little bit smaller, but until then I’m stuck as this husk. And Chris leaving, that left a big hole, but now with Eddie gone too, it’s become this gaping fucking chasm, without them there’s hardly any of me left. My heart has been ripped out of my chest and driven thousands of miles away and I feel like I’m decaying inside.
“But I can’t go because my family’s here; you, Hen, Chim, Maddie, Jee, Mum-” He froze. Usually calling Athena and Bobby Mum and Pops was a jokey thing, a little light hearted moment that acknowledged the family they’d built. But it slipping out like that, whilst he was rambling as he fell into some deep emotional hole, it felt like he’d finally admitted something that he’d been burying deep down. “Athena,” He corrected, “My family is in LA, well, the majority of it, because my partner and my kid are in fucking Texas.” It was yet another slip of the tongue, ‘my kid’ Chris wasn’t his, he was Eddie’s, Buck had no claim over him, even if he had helped raise him since he was seven. And calling Eddie his partner? Sure, they were, had been, they had been work partners, but something about it felt different that time.
Bobby had to approach this conversation very carefully, “Buck, if you want to go to Texas me and your Mum, heck our whole family, will support you and have your back.” He immediately took Buck’s slip up as permission to do what he’d been wanting to do for years, finally make the parental titles official past jokes or the way they been using them today; to avoid too many questions that they couldn’t be bothered to answer on a loop, “But if you want to stay we’ll do everything we can to help you heal, or at least find a way to live with it, with this hole. But I need you to answer me honestly, are you planning on hurting or killing yourself?”
Buck shook his head, “No, nope, I, uh, no.”
“That answer didn’t sound overly certain, I need the truth, I promise I won’t be mad.”
Buck sighed, pulling the lime out of his drink again and sucking on it as he figured out how to phrase what he was feeling, “Ninety percent of the time I don’t actively want to do anything like that, but when we’re on calls that little voice in my head that tells me I’m the expendable one begins to scream so I follow it, so I do all that stupid shit and I don’t care about the consequences.”
“And what about the other ten percent of the time?” Bobby made sure to keep his tone gentle and judgment free so he didn’t spook Buck back into his shell.
“I think about it at like three, four am, when I’m up and I can’t sleep, I think about it, a lot, what I could do, how I could do it, would anyone miss me, does anyone actually need me? Just this loop of ‘why the hell not’ and ‘you deserve it’ and I want it to stop but it won’t.”
Bobby made a decision, this wasn’t a conversation to have at a bar, “Let’s go back to the room so we can talk in private, yeah?”
Buck shook his head, “Can we stay here for now, do a bit of gambling and talk about this later, once I’ve cooled off?”
“Kid-”
“Please, I don’t think I can finish this conversation until I have a clear head.”
Bobby analysed him for a second before giving in, “Okay. What game should we start with?”
“So what’s the deal with you and your Captain, or Dad, or whatever he is?” Tristan asked, sliding up to Buck at the bar as he grabbed more drinks. Athena had finished with work and had come to join them at the blackjack table but was currently drinkless, so Buck had offered to go and get her one.
“Oh, uh, Bobby’s kinda both?” Buck didn’t sound overly certain, after the whole ‘Mum’ slip up and Bobby just running with it he felt like things had just gotten a bit more complicated than normal, even if it felt right. “He was my Captain first. But I’m pretty much estranged from my parents and Bobby stepped up and filled that role, you know? He didn’t need to but something in our relationship just organically shifted and next thing I knew he was like a Dad to me.” Buck fully turned to face Tristan, “I actually started calling him Pops as a joke when I first started working for him, but somewhere down the line it stopped being a joke, I just wasn’t ready to admit it.”
“And now you are?”
“Working on it.”
Tristan smiled at him and cocked his head to the side, studying Buck intently, “And Athena?”
“Well, considering Bobby’s pretty much my Dad that makes her my Stepmom. Although she hated my guts when we first met.” He admitted, getting a laugh out of Tristan, “But we worked our shit out pretty quickly and then she got together with my Pops, and now here we are.”
“That’s quite the story, family gatherings must be interesting.” Tristan joked.
Buck let out a good natured groan, “Don’t get me started.”
Before they could continue talking Tristan spotted Avery and flagged her down, “Avery, have you met Buck yet?”
“Buck? As in Athena’s son Buck?” She asked, looking thoroughly confused.
“Uh yeah, that’s me.” He chuckled awkwardly.
She furrowed her brow, “I did not expect you to be white.”
Buck gave her a lopsided smile, “Because she refers to me as her son?” Avery nodded, “I’m essentially her Stepson hence…” He waved at his face, indicating his skin tone. “She just says son rather than Stepson.”
“He’s also adopted.” Tristan added, before tacking on a, “Pretty much.”
Avery looked between the two of them, confusion written across her whole face, “What’s with the ‘essentially’ and ‘pretty much’ crap?”
“It’s complicated, not to, like, get into it, but the gist of it is that I’m not legally or officially adopted, we all just kind of say Mum and Pops and call it a day.”
“Right.” She nodded, not looking overly convinced. Avery then promptly changed the direction of conversation, “Is it true you and your Pops snuck onboard?”
Buck had never had to share a room like this before, his parents taking up the bedroom whilst he was on a fold out bed in the living space. He thought this might be what family holidays were like for people who had a normal childhood. But growing up his parents would go on holiday without him, leaving him with the neighbour or they’d go whilst he was off at camp (where he was sent so they wouldn’t have to ‘deal with him’ over the summer).
The camp bed he was on was actually pretty nice, the cruise was sold out so he couldn’t have a room of his own, but of course a luxury cruise ship had luxury camp beds.
Before getting into bed Buck had whacked up the AC in the living space where he was sleeping so he could build a blanket cocoon/nest thing around himself and not overheat. He’d been doing the same at Eddie’s, no, his house every night since he’d moved in.
But even all bundled up he felt empty inside; empty, cold and lonely. He sniffled, doing his best not to cry, but it was hard when a wave of depression was rolling over him like the tsunami. The excitement of the day he’d just had had held those feelings at bay, but now that he was left with his thoughts the depression hit him hard.
By three am he’d gotten fed up of trying to sleep. He could call Eddie but it was early so he was either sleeping or working and he didn’t want to disturb him, so he decided to have a wander around the ship instead.
He rolled out of bed and chucked on his LAFD sweatshirt (it used to be a perfect fit but it was beginning to get baggy, Buck was trying hard not to think about that) over The Odyssey branded sweatpants and t-shirt.
Finally he grabbed the complimentary stationary that came with the room and wrote out a note for Bobby and Athena.
Gone for a walk
Got my phone
Text me if you need me
He left the note on the coffee table in plain view, then shoved his sneakers on and headed out.
The corridors were deserted, but that wasn’t surprising. He didn’t have a location in mind but after half an hour he found himself in the bar so took a seat and ordered a beer.
It didn’t take long for someone to take the seat next to him even though all the other bar stools were free as well as multiple tables, but he just ignored them until they spoke.
“Drinking alone at almost four am is never a good sign.” He heard Max say, “You want to talk about it?” Buck took a swig of his drink, looking over at the Doctor but didn’t say anything, “Or we can just sit in silence and drink.”
Buck liked the sound of that so he turned back to the bar, looking ahead of himself like he had been. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the bartender placing a drink down in front of Max, but he just focused on the shelves of spirits in front of him.
“Your Mum said you’d been having a major depressive episode.” Max said after a few minutes of silence, “And then two seconds later said your best friend had moved away. It wouldn’t be wrong to assume they’re connected?”
Buck nodded, taking a minute to order his thoughts, he might as well talk about it, it didn’t look like Max was going anywhere anytime soon and he would probably keep probing, besides it might be good to talk to someone who didn’t have a personal connection to the situation, “He’s been gone for two months and three days.” Buck picked at the label on his drink, “His kid moved back to Texas after he walked in on Eddie, my best friend, in a less than ideal situation to put it mildly. Went to live with his grandparents. Eventually Eddie couldn’t handle being apart from him anymore so followed him. And, you know, I thought, he’ll rent a place, fix his relationship with Chris and then come home, but he bought a house out there. He hates El Paso, he left there for a reason and now he’s going back to stay? Our family is in LA. But he’s gone for good.” Buck tipped his head back, blinking to hold back the tears, “He left me behind, like every fucking person does.” He dropped his head forward, unable to hold the tears back as a sob ripped itself out of his throat.
“I’m sorry Buck, no wonder you’re struggling.” He placed a gentle hand on the kid's shoulder.
Buck wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, sniffling loudly, “You’re using your doctor voice on me.”
“Guilty as charged.” Max took his hand back and took a sip of his own drink, “But everyone leaving you? What about your parents? They clearly love you.”
Buck sniffled again as he shook his head, “Bobby and Athena do, but you’ve not met my real parents, I’ll be honest, they never left me, but that’s because they were never there in the first place.” Buck sighed, looking over at the doctor, “I’m not supposed to exist, Max.”
“What?” He didn’t know what to make of that.
“I’m a saviour sibling, but I failed to save my brother, as soon as he died I was just some living reminder of him. They’d look through me, or they’d look at me as some failure, but I guess I was.
“I didn’t know about all of this until I was like, twenty-nine, didn’t even know I had an older brother. But I’m a failed designer baby who only exists because some other kid got sick.
“I didn’t save Daniel, he left, and like some sick reminder from the universe, no one ever sticks around, voluntary or involuntary they all leave.” The pair sat in the moment for a minute but eventually Buck huffed out a sad laugh, “Did you know this is the first holiday I’ve ever been on.” He admitted, “And I’m here by mistake.”
“Seriously?” Max looked shocked.
“Mmhm, I have travelled, but I was job hopping.”
“And you never went on holiday as a kid?”
Buck took a swig of his drink and then gave Max a look that translated to ‘duh’, “Do you really think they’d take me on holiday? The failed saviour? No, they’d go by themselves and leave me behind.”
Sudden concern washed over Max’s face, “On your own?”
“Oh no, god no, they were neglectful but not that neglectful. No, I’d stay with the neighbours.” He clarified.
Max visibly relaxed at that, “I’m so sorry you went through that Buck.”
“What? Not going on holiday?” He tried to joke but it fell flat.
“No, being neglected by the people who were supposed to protect and love you.”
“Thanks man.” Buck knocked back the last of his drink, “I can’t help but think about how much better my life would be if Bobby or Athena had raised me, they only got married a few years back so it wouldn’t have been the both of them, but even one of them would’ve given me a better childhood than both of my parents combined.”
“But you’ve got them now, that’s something.” Max pointed out, tilting his beer bottle towards Buck as if to accentuate his point.
Buck nodded, “Yeah, yeah, s'pose.” He couldn’t hold back the massive yawn that hit him at that moment.
Max couldn’t help but chuckle, “Well, in my professional medical opinion, I think it’s time you went to bed young man.”
Buck nodded and stood, “Thanks for the chat, Max, I appreciate it.”
“No problem, kid, sleep well.”
When he got back to the room he crawled into his blanket nest and curled up, burying himself into it as deep as possible, finally managing to fall asleep.
“So let me get this straight,” Eddie said, walking around the kitchen with his phone held low so Buck could mainly see his chin and up his nostrils as opposed to his whole face, “You, Bobby and Athena went on a cruise, by accident?”
Buck nodded, “Yep, and there’s like, a bank heist happening or something. But that’s Athena’s problem, me and Bobby are just having fun.”
Eddie laughed loudly, “Now, you going on an accidental cruise I get, but Athena and Bobby? That’s not what I expected. But, hey, at least it’s Athena dealing with the heist this time and not you getting framed for it.”
“Excuse me, you also got framed, don’t pin that all on me.” Buck scoffed, faux offence lacing his tone.
Eddie sat down and repositioned his phone so Buck could now see his face, “How is it though? Are you enjoying it?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet; free food, free drinks, a whole bunch of gambling. Plus The Odyssey is like, one of the most expensive cruises out there, these guys are like the best of the best, so it’s actually a pretty cool place to get stranded.” Buck burrowed deeper into his blankets, “Bit weird that we’re in fancy clothes like twenty-four seven though, it’s all Casino Glam or whatever, like a tasteful Vegas.”
“Vegas is tasteful.” Eddie protested.
“I don’t know what your definition of tasteful is, bud, but it’s definitely not Vegas.”
Before they could continue bickering, the door to Bobby and Athena’s room slid open, Bobby stepping out, “Buck?” Buck shifted, head popping up from amongst the pile of blankets, bed head in full force, making Bobby chuckle, “If you’re cold you know you can turn the AC off, right?” He asked.
“I know, I wanted this.”
Bobby smiled at him, “Alright, well as it’s time to get up can I turn the temperature up?” It was a rhetorical question, so he went straight over to the wall and fiddled with the controls.
Buck wiggled around in bed a few times, getting comfortable again and turned his attention back to Eddie, “Vegas is so tacky, man.”
Bobby opened his mouth to reply, assuming Buck was talking to him, but Eddie’s voice came out of the speaker loud and clear, “I’ve been there, it’s not tacky!” He protested.
“Come on Eddie,” Buck whined, “The themed hotels alone are trashy. Where’s the class in getting married by an Elvis impersonator?”
“Buck? Turning the AC off was your cue to get out of bed.” Bobby told him, followed by a “Hi Eddie.”
“Hey Cap.” he replied as Bobby took the phone off of Buck, waving at Eddie through the screen as Buck whined at him.
“Get dressed and then you can have your phone back.” Bobby told him, getting a disgruntled “Pops.” Out of Buck, but that didn’t deter him as he walked back to his room chatting with Eddie.
Bobby was helping Athena and Max hunt down Bonnie and Clyde, joining Athena at the poker table, but Buck had opted to leave them to it and relax by the pool, thankfully finding swimwear at The Odyssey’s shop.
A sudden shadow fell over him so he cracked an eye open to see Tristan stood over him, “Do you want some company?”
Buck looked at him over his sunglasses, “Aren’t you working?” He asked, eyeing the other man’s uniform.
“Says the firefighter.” He jabbed back.
Buck couldn’t help but chuckle at that as he slid his sunglasses back up his nose, relaxing back into the sunbed, “Touche. Knock yourself out.”
The bed next to him creaked quietly as Tristan lay down.
“So,” Buck finally said after a minute of silence, eyes still closed, not looking over at Tristan even though the other man knew it was directed at him, “Did Max send you to check up on me?”
“No, can’t I just want to hang out with the hot firefighter?”
Buck turned to look at him, sliding his sunglasses down so he could look at Tristan with raised eyebrows, “Avery’s hanging out with that girl and Max is with my folks, right?”
Tristan smirked at him, “Okay, and that, it doesn’t mean my original statement isn’t true.”
“You work fast, Nurse Tristan, no time for subtly?”
“The cruise ends in three days.” Tristan pointed out.
“You’ve got a point,” Buck analysed Tristan, a wicked grin cracking across his face, “But what about the whole weird thing that’s going on between you, Max and Avery?”
“There’s nothing weird going on between us.” Tristan rushed the words out, so clearly there was something going on.
“Okay, okay.” Buck held his hands up in surrender trying to hold back a laugh, “Nothing going on, loud and clear.”
Tristan nodded, pleased that Buck was going to drop it. “You are a fit firefighter though.”
Buck snorted, “You’ve known me for a day and we’ve had like three conversations and now you want to wine and dine me?”
“I never said that. I was just wondering if you wanted to blow off some steam. You don’t have to have feelings for every person you fuck.”
Buck laughed loudly, “I said the exact same thing after being stupid enough to have drunk sex with my ex.” Buck looked him up and down, “Buy me a drink once you’re done with work, then we’ll see where things go.”
Buck was in their room when Bobby found him, “Hey kid.” He was curled up on his bed, scrolling through his phone, dressed in his sweats and sweater, “You don’t fancy heading out and doing some exploring or getting some food?”
“I’m okay.” Buck told him, looking up from his phone with tired eyes, “I’m meeting Tristan in a bit so I needed some BuckTime first.”
“Everything getting a lot?” Buck nodded, when he wasn’t in the best headspace he usually struggled to regulate himself, loud noises and large crowds becoming harder and harder to cope with so it was no surprise he’d taken himself off to the side so he could decompress. “Can I join you?” Buck nodded again so Bobby slipped his suit jacket off and sat on the bed, “Are you ready for that conversation yet?”
Buck looked over at him, “Whilst I’m having BuckTime?”
“I’d like to have it sooner rather than later, and I think we both know this is the best time to do it.”
Buck turned his phone off and put it down on the coffee table, he didn’t sit up though, staying curled up on his side, “So, what do you want to know?”
“Do you ever feel like you’re close to giving in to that voice that’s telling you to kill yourself?” Buck shook his head, “Buck? I need a verbal response.”
“I’m not going to kill myself, you don’t need to worry about me jumping off of a building or whatever mid call, I can work.” Buck snapped, getting defensive.
Bobby kept calm, his voice soft as he did his best to assure Buck, “That’s good to know, but I’m not worried about you as a firefighter, I’m worried about you as my son.”
He deflated immediately, “Sorry, yeah, no, I’m fine, I’m not going to act on it. Too much of a coward to do it myself.”
Bobby slipped off the bed so he was crouching in front of Buck at eye level, “There is nothing cowardly about not killing yourself, that’s an incredibly brave and strong thing to do. Because you are incredibly brave and strong, I see it everyday where you never fail to amaze me.”
Usually Buck loved praise, he thrived off of it, but right now he didn’t, so instead he burrowed into his blankets so only his eyes were visible.
Bobby reached out and brushed a stray curl out of Buck’s eyes, “I know everything is a lot right now, and it’s hard, that’s understandable, but you’re doing so well.”
“I’m not.” Buck grumbled, “Unless you’re forgetting the whole ‘losing weight’ and ‘throwing myself headfirst into danger’ thing.”
Bobby nodded, “Yeah, no, those are problems, but you’re still here and fighting, and that’s the hardest part. The other bits we can work on together, because you’re not alone in this, I promise.”
Suddenly Buck’s phone vibrated along the table, he reached out and checked it, finding a message from Tristan;
‘ME raincheck?’
He sent back a quick confirmation text, as a first responder he got it, that was just the life they led, didn’t mean he wasn’t disappointed, and clearly it showed on his face.
“Everything okay?” Bobby’s face contorted with concern.
Buck nodded, the blankets around him rustling, “Tristan has to work. Not meeting up now.”
“Oh, I’m sorry kid. Do you need anything?” Buck tentatively unfurled his blankets, opening his arms whilst looking awkward and ashamed. It was obvious what he wanted and Bobby wasn’t going to deny him, so he crawled up onto the bed and wrapped his arms around his kid.
Bobby and Buck were slowly walking to one of the restaurants onboard when the smoke alarm went off, the both of them immediately kicking into action. Thankfully Bobby’s firefighter brain took over so the thought of ‘cruise ship disaster’ didn’t overwhelm him.
“Cap, what’s the plan?” Buck asked, also slipping into work mode.
“We need to locate the source, I’ll call Athena as I think she’s with Captain Massey.” He pulled his phone out and rang his wife, “Athena, do you have a location?” He didn’t need to specify what, Athena would know exactly what he meant.
Buck didn’t hear her response but it didn’t take long for Bobby to hang up and start walking with more purpose. As they went Buck grabbed one of the fire extinguishers that were located at frequent intervals down the corridors in case there were flames present.
They found it in no time at all, white smoke billowing out of a trash can, right below the detector.
Buck was the first to get to it, fire extinguisher at the ready should it be required, but he didn’t see any flames so peered into the can, “Smoke bomb Cap.” he reported.
Bobby immediately pulled his phone out, watching as Buck inspected the trash can and canister, “Athena, we’ve located the cause of the alarm, it’s a smoke bomb.” Bobby saw Buck cock his head and run a finger along the inside of the bin, “Buck? Have you found something?”
He held his finger up and inspected it, “Glitter? It’s coating the whole bin, but- glitter isn’t used in smoke bombs.”
“Does glitter mean anything to you?” He asked Athena. After another minute of back and forth Bobby hung up and turned back to Buck, “Good work kid, looks like that glitter might’ve just cracked the case.”
A huge grin broke out across Buck’s face, “Really?”
“Yeah, apparently the glitter links it back to a grandmother and her grandson, the ones in the room next to us.”
“What? The old lady Athena was trying on dresses with?”
“The one and only.” They both had a laugh at that before sobering up, “We should take this up to the bridge, Athena and Massey are dealing with June and her grandson and then they’ll meet us on the bridge.”
“Well, it looks like you three stowaways managed to save the day.” Massey chuckled, “Thank you, we wouldn’t have been able to handle it without you.”
“The universe works in mysterious ways.” Buck shrugged.
“Or maybe we just got lucky.”
Athena and Bobby both cringed at that, “You may have but me and Bobby definitely didn’t.”
“Let’s just focus on the positives,” Buck said, “I finally got to go on holiday for the first time ever.”
The other three all looked at him, shocked, “You’ve never been on holiday?” Bobby asked.
Buck shook his head, a blazé smile on his face, “Nope.”
“Well, in that case, whilst your Mother heads back with our prisoners I’m going to have to insist that you stay aboard for the rest of our trip, because I simply can’t have your first ever holiday cut short.” Massey declared, “And Bobby you are more than welcome to join him.”
“Thena?” Buck looked at her hopefully, with big puppy dog eyes, asking for her permission (even if he didn’t need it).
She let out an amused huff, “Baby, you’re an adult, if you want to stay on the cruise then you can stay on the cruise.”
“But you won’t be upset if we stay and you go? Or even if just I say, depending on what Bobby wants to do.”
“The sooner I’m back on solid ground the better, but you’ve earnt some fun.”
Buck gave her a toothy grin before turning to Bobby, “Well, someone’s got to keep an eye on you.”
“Alright, well, you two have fun. But I have one condition,” She pointed at Massey and Bobby, “You two have to make sure my boy eats enough to start getting some more meat on his bones, clear?”
Buck groaned and rolled his eyes, “Muuum.” Which got a laugh out of the other three.
“Don’t worry Sergeant, he’ll get the six star treatment and I’ll have your boys at the Captain’s table every night so I can keep an eye on him.”
“Okay, so run me through it again?” Eddie asked, relaxing back into the sofa, Buck on the other end of the call sat by the pool with his earphones in.
“So, June, the old woman, and her Grandson, I don’t remember his name, were stealing the expensive jewellery from the cruise goers and replacing them with 3D printed fakes.”
“And no one noticed?”
“They were really good fakes.”
“No, I mean, they didn’t notice them taking it, like, off of them.” Eddie looked really confused as he tried to put the events together in his head.
“Oh, no, so the medical team have access to every room, you know, in case of a medical emergency, and so June stole Tristan’s, he’s one of the nurses, she stole Tristan’s watch that grants him access and used it to get into the rooms and steal them when people were off gambling or whatever.” Buck fell into his usual excitable tone as he ran Eddie through the events again, eyes sparking, “And it’s why they set off a smoke bomb, because the smoke alarm went off everyone has to go to their muster stations in case they need to abandon ship, so all the rooms would be empty, so they can get in and replace the things they wanted to take.”
“But you and Bobby managed to foil their plans.”
Buck laughed, it was loud with a genuine happiness behind it, “They didn’t account for a fire captain, police sergeant and their son stowing away.”
“Buc- Son- Wha- I- Have you three finally made it official?”
Buck gave him an awkward cringe of a smile, “Kinda? I dunno man, it’s all gotten really confusing, but also not confusing at all.”
“Well, now I’m confused again.”
Buck sighed, he briefly looked up before reaching for his drink, sipping at the rum punch, “So we may all have just, you know, started referring to each other as family just to make things easier, and then it, I guess, stopped being short hand?”
“I need more context bud.” Eddie told him, trying to coax the full story out of him.
Buck chugged the rest of his drink, pretty much as soon as he was done another appeared along with snacks, “Was this Massey?” He asked the employee with a little, awkward chuckle.
“It is.” She confirmed, getting a ‘thanks’ from Buck and then leaving.
“Massey?”
“He’s the Captain, Athena made him promise to make sure I’m eating, she wants me to put on the weight I lost from all this stress and depression around you leav-” It suddenly hit him what he’d said, “Fuck, uh, sorry, no, uh, I’ve fallen behind on bulking season, she’s trying to get me back on tra-”
“Buck.” Eddie’s voice was soft, his eyes sad, “How bad?”
Buck knew exactly what he meant, of course he did, it was Eddie, but he played ignorant anyway, “I don’t know what you mean, everything’s fine here.”
“Buck, please, tell me the truth, how badly have you been struggling?”
Buck huffed, “It isn’t important Eddie. You’re where you need to be, with Chris, so I don’t need you to worry about me, you’ve got more important concerns.”
“Oh Buck, buddy, you’re so important to me, I promise. So tell me, how bad?”
Buck looked away again, skewering an olive with a toothpick and eating it, “It’s bad. Just sleeping and working, and my eating isn’t great.”
“Hence why you’re losing weight.”
“I wasn’t lying when I said I’d fallen behind on my bulking.” He tried to joke, but it fell flat, the both of them knowing how seriously Buck took his bulking season (and it was without a doubt Eddie’s favourite part of Buck’s workout regime).
Even through the screen Buck could see how sad Eddie’s eyes were, “Do you need me to come back?” He asked.
Horror flashed across Buck’s face as he scrambled to answer, “No, no, God no, you need to stay in Texas, you need to be with Chris, you have to be with Chris. I’m fine, I’ll be fine, I promise.”
“I’d say come and live with me but there are no firefighting jobs here at the moment.”
“We can’t both be Uber drivers.” Buck tried to joke but there was a wetness to his voice, “I’d do any job if it meant getting to be with you.”
“Buck, firefighting is your life, you can’t let it go. Not for me.”
Something about that seemed to rile Buck up, making him snappy, “Yeah well it was, but then I fell in love with you and now-” He cut himself off, hands coming up to cover his mouth as he realised what he’d said.
Eddie’s wide eyes mirrored Buck’s, the both of them in a shocked silence, unsure of what to say.
“You-?”
“Just forget I said anything. Bye Eddie.” He quickly hung up the call and had to resist the urge to throw his phone into the ocean.
His phone began to ring immediately, it was Eddie, so he declined the call.
And again
And again
And again
Then a text came through from him;
evan ‘buck’ buckley grant nash diaz answer your fucking phone
And another
sorry i meant evan ‘buck’ buckley nash diaz
fuck
autocorrect lol
i meant evan ‘buck’ buckley grant nash
answer your fucking phone
please
i wanna talk
if youve thrown your phone into the ocean i swear to god
buck
buck
evan
call me
fuck you man
buck
buck
evan
evan
evan
i need you to answer your phone
need to tell you i love you
asshoe
asshole
BUCK
Buck sat there, spiralling as he watched Eddie’s texts come in.
Suddenly his phone rang again, another facetime call from Eddie. His brain had shut down so on instinct he hit answer, but didn’t say anything, just stared at the screen with his mouth open whilst an angry looking Eddie glared back at him, “What the fuck man? Don’t air me like that!”
Buck stayed silent, mouth still open.
“Buck. Buck? Earth to Buck, come in. Buck, are you okay? Evan I need some sign that you’re alive or I’m calling Bobby. I can and will call your Pops, man, come on.”
Eddie watched as a hand came into frame and took an earphone out of Buck’s ear, another face joining the call, “Hey, uh, did you break Buck?” The guy asked.
“I think I did.” Eddie groaned, “Fuck.”
The man turned to Buck and gently took the phone from him, “Buck, it’s Max, can you look at me?”
Buck slowly turned his head towards Max, “He loves me?” He managed to croak out.
“You said it first!” Eddie said with an indignant whine, “And then you just hung up on me.”
Buck’s head snapped back to the screen where Max was holding it so the two men could still see each other, “Because I didn’t know I was going to say that! You’re literally the first person I’ve admitted that to.”
“Same here!”
The both of them sounded a bit hysterical about the whole thing, clearly only just now fully processing their thoughts and feelings.
Out of the corner of his eyes Eddie could see Max sliding out of frame and then putting Buck’s earphone back in, if he hadn’t been so wrapped up in this bizarre love confession he would’ve found it comical.
“Can I take you out on a date?” Buck eventually said, the words coming out in a rush.
He got an equally as rushed “Yes. Please.” Out of Eddie.
“Good, I’ll come visit you in El Paso and take you out.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
Buck began to laugh which set Eddie off, the two of them clearly a bit manic about it all, the call having descended into pure chaos.
“Fuck, did we really just do that?” Buck asked, eyes shining with tears from how hard he’d laughed.
“We did.”