Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Peter Parker was so fucked.  

Completely and utterly fucked.  

His AcaDec team could have gone anywhere for there celebratory field trip after their championship win. But they chose - get this - STARK INDUSTRIES. The place where Peter practically lived with how many times he spent the night after he and Tony stayed up too late.  

The day of Peter’s demise began pretty normally. It was a Monday. He woke up after two and a half hours of sleep because he stayed out way too late patrolling (Tony was NOT happy). He got up, ate, and got on the bus. The real trouble started in 3rd period: AP Chemistry. His least favorite class. Now, Peter was actually quite good at chemistry. He did college level chemistry with Tony, so this stuff was a breeze. It was the teacher that he had a problem with. Mrs. Elliot seemed to have a vendetta against him. Even MJ didn’t know why, and she knew everything . To make it worse, Flash, Peter’s tormentor, somehow made it into an AP class. AND he sat right behind Peter.  

The jerk in question had been throwing crumpled up paper balls at the back of peters head for the entire period. When Peter had finally turned around to ask him to stop, Mrs. Elliot had reprimanded him for talking. But wait, it gets worse. 

“Penni, stop talking in class or I’ll have to call your parents.” 

In case you were wondering, Penni is not a nickname. Yeah, Mrs. Elliot is a bad teacher. Out of the corner of his eye, Peter had seen MJ’s face contort in fury when she deadnamed him. She may pretend to not care about him, but Peter saw right through her, especially when she got all protective. If there was one thing MJ couldn’t stand, it was discrimination. And capitalism. Now that he thought about it, she would get along really well with Hobie.

Things got even worse, somehow in AcaDec practice when Mr. Harrington announced the field trip destination.  

“For our congratulatory championship win trip, we will be going to…” 

He ripped a sheet off the whiteboard.  

"STARK INDUSTRIES!!!"

The room erupted in glee. Stark industries! The place of the future! They hadn’t even dreamed of ever being able to go - because they didn’t offer tours and you had to be CRAZY smart to get an internship, let alone an actual job. Which is why nobody believed that Peter Parker, local loser, actually had one.  

“I bet you’re so excited for this, Penis. Do you think your bestie Tony Stark is gonna show up?” Flash sneered in his ear. “I bet he won’t. Why would he care about you ?” The words hit harder than Peter would have liked to admit.  

The boy glumly accepted the permission slip and sulked out of the building, ignoring Flash’s taunts. Tony was away on a business trip for the next week, so there would be no lab time at SI to cheer him up today. So the bus it was.  

“Peter, are you even listening to me?” He was ripped out of his reverie by his best friend, Ned.  

“…yes?” 

“No you weren’t. Anyway, I was saying how excited I am for the SI trip!” 

“Ned, you literally go there a weekend every month to build legos with Tony and Bruce. What are you so excited about?” 

“See, if you were listening to me, you would know that I’m excited to see flash proved wrong.” 

MJ leaned over from the seat across.  

“This entire trip will be peak material for my crisis notebook. I’ve already got one of you from today, Peter.” 

Peter groaned. “MJ, you of all people should know that nothing will make flash leave me alone. Besides, I can take it,” His friends made a face. “Better me than someone else,” he offered sheepishly, obviously losing this battle.  

“Not really,” Ned said.  

Peter protested” But-“ 

“Nope.” By MJ’s tone, Peter could tell this conversation was over.  

The next day, Peter tried his best to pretend like nothing had happened, but Flash and his cronies made that impossible. They taunted him at every turn, goading him and making sure the boy knew how screwed he was come Friday.  

Peter had left the slip at home, so when practically everyone got up to hand in their forms in Mr. Harrington’s class flash knew something was up.  

“Why no permission slip, Penis? Are you trying to skip the trip because you’re scared people will find out that your internship is fake?” 

“No. I just forgot it at home.”  

This was a lie. Peter did leave the slip at home on purpose, because he did not want to go on the trip. Who wants to go on a field trip to their fucking house ?  

Flash was not convinced. “Whatever you say, penis. I hope you’re ready to get all your lies exposed on Friday!”  

Peter just sighed. He wasn’t going on that trip if he could help it.  

Meanwhile, back at Peter’s house, May had found his slip. She was very amused and laughed for 3 minutes straight, then signed it and sent a picture of it to her nephew, and to Natasha (the two women had grown close through Peter, and were now a force to be reckoned with). 

Peter was at lunch when the text came through. His heart sank.  

“May found the form.” He showed the photo to MJ. She laughed and said, 

“Well I guess you’re definitely going on that trip now!”  

“Come on Peter, say you’ll go!” 

“Alright. But just for you, Ned.” 

True to his word, Peter turned his form in the next day.  

The rest of the week passed mostly uneventfully, up until Thursday, the day before the trip.  

It was AcaDec practice, and apparently Mr Harrington had another announcement.  

“Due to an unforeseen family issue, I will not be able to chaperone tomorrow’s trip. In my stead, your chemistry teacher Mrs. Elliot will be attending."

Peter looked at Ned. This trip had just gotten a lot worse.  

“Dude, Mrs Elliot hates you! I feel terrible for making you go now!” Ned looked stricken with guilt. 

“I mostly don’t. She’s an asshat, but it’ll be one more face to add to my crisis notebook. Her and Flash are going to get taken down by Pepper," MJ said, the smirk on her face disturbingly menacing.  

“MJ, you should come build legos with us tonight!” Ned had been trying to get MJ to come with them for weeks now, but to no avail. “Nice try, Leeds. But I’m not gonna be seen with you losers outside of school.” Peter just sighed. He hadn’t expected anything less from her. 

The bus ride home was relatively quiet, leaving Peter alone with his thoughts. This field trip was not going to go well.  

Well, at least the Avengers didn’t know.  

Oh, how wrong he was.  

Over at SI, the Avengers were going through withdrawal. Peter withdrawal. And by ‘the Avengers’ the author means Clint, Bucky, and Sam. And pretty much everyone else.  

“Ughhh can’t we just go and get him?”Clint whined. “Why does Happy have to go with Tony anyways, he never actually drives him???” Natasha was quick to shut him up.  

“Suck it up Clint.”  

“No, no, he’s got a point,”Sam spoke up. “Happy never actually drives Tony. But he’s his chauffeur. What’s up with that? And can we please get happy back so he can get Peter?” 

And of course, wherever Sam was, Bucky was. Just to annoy him. “Shut up already, Wilson. You’re hurting my head.” 

“Oh well I’m sorry, I had no idea you had a headache. It’s not like you mention it every 5 minutes-” Once Sam laid on the sarcasm, there was no going back.  

As the two bickered, Clint asked the question everyone had been thinking.  

“Why can’t we just go and get Peter? We’ve got a car, and it’s not like people would think we’re kidnapping him, we’re the Avengers, goddammit!” 

“Actually, Clint,” Nat said, making a (fake) sympathetic face, “The fact that we’re the Avengers would make it worse. What's the media gonna think when the Quinjet lands in his backyard? And all of Stark’s cars are extremely recognizable. So all of y'all are gonna have to suck it up and wait till he gets back." 

Just at that moment, Pepper walked in. She took one look around the room. Bucky and Sam were bickering in each others faces, Nat was in the process of dragging Clint put of the room to go eat something, and there was a snake on the couch??? Probably Loki, she thought. Pepper sighed. 

“It’s been a day since you’ve seen Peter. All of you have his number, and are in multiple group chats with him. You can contact Peter at any moment, and also have the ability to video call him.” 

“Yeah but it won’t be the same, Pep!” Clint protested, having wrested free from Nat's iron grip. The other Avengers nodded in agreement.  

“Then you’ll just have to deal with it.” Earth's Mightiest Heroes pouted, and sulked, and whined, but they knew they would just have to tough it out until Wednesday of next week, when Tony would be returning. Until Nat gave them the news. She walked back into the room with a sly smile.

“Hey gays, guess what I just found out?” A Peter-deprived sigh came from the rest of the Avengers. “Wow, ungrateful. Anyway, Peter’s AcaDec team is coming here for their field trip! Tomorrow!” Everyone sat up straight. “Now, I know this is all a big shock, but let’s try not to embarrass our ребенок-паук too much while he’s here, right?” she winked.  

Across town, Peter’s spider sense tingled. Veeeery lightly. He almost didn’t notice it. But of course, he did.  

It was at that moment that he knew. He was fucked.

“Stop laughing! It’s not funny!”  

“But it is, Petey-Pie! Just think of all the pranks you could pull!”  

Wade had a point. But it was still not funny. “Wade, my classmates don’t know that side of me. To them, I’m shy, nerdy, quiet Peter Parker, and would never even think on pulling a prank on someone, especially not the guy who bullies me-" Peter caught himself before he let it slip that he was bullied at school. Thankfully, Wade didn't catch it. 

Wade seemed genuinely confused. “…But that’s literally the opposite of the Peter I know…” he whined.  

“And that’s exactly what they’ll think when they see me interacting with you guys. And Flash-“ he caught himself again. Peter knew that Wade would not hesitate to kill Flash. Even though the mercenary was on a 4 month no-kill streak, if anyone messed with his Petey-Pie, they would get it.  

Peter closed his eyes and listened for the sounds of crime, just like Matt had taught him. As if the vigilante could hear his thoughts, Daredevil climbed up onto the building next to him.  

“Speak of the devil,” Wade quipped, looking extremely proud of himself for that one. Suddenly, a scream rang out. Judging by the way his head snapped around, Matt had heard it too. The vigilantes sped off towards the sound, easily taking out the mugger. Peter webbed him up, and they were off again. The rest of the night proceeded similarly, with small muggings and robberies happening throughout the city. The team disposed of them easily. And then, they caught wind of a drug deal happening on the docks of Hell’s Kitchen. When they arrived, however, it was deserted. Or so they thought. Matt, with his echolocation-ass hearing, easily pinpointed the criminals.  

“It’s an ambush-“ he never got the chance to finish his sentence before they were jumped. Eventually, they took them down. It was only when they were three blocks away that they (Wade) noticed the stab wound in Peter’s side.  

“Uhh, Peter?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You- you got a little something there…” Peter looked down, and lo and behold, a knife was sticking out of his side.  

“Shit. Shit shit shitshitshit. Mr. Starks gonna kill me for this!” 

Even in the dark, Peter could see Matt’s mouth twisting into a worried grimace. The man picked him up and, with the help of wade, brought him to safety. Then he called Claire. 

“Uhhh, heyyy Claire- no, no, I’m fine! -yeah no I’m fine I swear I just have a few bruises- that’s not the point! Peter got stabbed, and I need you to come stitch him up before Stark kills me, and-“ 

A long pause. Peter could probably have been listening to what Claire was saying on the other end, but he was in so much pain and also the author was too lazy to write it. What? That stab wound must have been really bad, because he only got like that when he was delusional. Wade talked like that, maybe Wade was delulu? Wait, that doesn't even make sense... Author, what are you doing??

The last thing he heard before he blacked out was Wade, telling him to stay the fuck awake and don’t pass out on me now . But it was no use.  

He just 

           Needed  

                  som 

                         e 

s l e e  

 p 

Chapter Text

When Peter came to, the first thing he heard was the gentle whir of Matt’s office fan. Wait. Why was he in Matt’s office? What time was it? And then the memories come flooding back. The field trip. The ambush.  Fuck , he had gotten stabbed. He was so exhausted. Peter glanced at the clock. 2:00 AM. He had the field trip today. He did not want to go on that, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized how satisfying it would be to wipe that self-assured smirk off Flash’s face.  

Peter was ripped out of his thoughts when matt walked into the room. the boy quickly shut his eyes, hoping for a few more minutes of sleep, but Matt fucking Murdock and his weird fucking hearing could tell he wasn't asleep, and the lawyer was quick to point that out. 

"Peter, I heard the change in your breathing from the other room the moment you woke up." Matt smirked and continued. "and what's this I hear about a field trip?"  

Peter’s blood went cold. The last thing he needed was for Matt to know, because the vigilante had way too many connections. he could probably call up Moon Knight, who was currently in Madripoor taking care of business for Khonshu, his asshat of a patron god. Matt obviously had the same idea because his face lit up with a childish grin. 

The boy cut him off before he could get a word in. "Nope! We are not doing this! i don't need the attention at school, they already don't believe me." 

The lawyer's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean they don't believe you? They have all the paperwork necessary. I know because I submitted it myself. who doesn't believe you?" Peter spluttered. "I'm a lawyer, Pete; you can't lie to me. Now, who doesn't believe that you have an internship at SI?" 

"All of my classmates. well, except for Ned and MJ. and Betty because she doesn't buy into Flash's BS. And only one of my teachers, but it might be because she really hates me." 

Now Matt was really interested. "Why do you think she hates you?" 

"Well, she always deadnames me, even though I am legally male now, thanks to Uncle Ben." Matt’s shit-eating grin only widened at that. 

"I smell a lawsuit!" Despite his cheerful tone and :] smile, Peter could tell Matt was barely keeping his anger contained.  

Peter looked at the clock again. 2:30am. He really had to get home, and he said as much. Matt checked to make sure the stab wound was healing and properly bandaged, then sent him on his way. 

Earths Mightiest Heroes? (do NOT change the name) (Peter I mean it)  

2:30 am  

matty boi: Guys, Peter is going to Stark Industries for a field trip later today. I nominate that we ambush him and embarrass him as much as possible. 

in ur vents: this is the best day of my LIFE 

Scary. : clint you already knew stfu 

THE GREATEST SCIENTIST OF OUR GENERATION: guys I don’t think it would be nice to Peter.. 

Scary blonde: no but it would be really fucking funny 

vine reference: im in wakanda but im sure i can convince my brother to bring me over for it 

vine reference: @furry  

vine reference: @furry  

vine reference: @furry  

furry: What do you want, Sister? 

vine reference: the souls of my enemies 

vine reference: and also to go over to NYC like 3 hours ago 

furry: I cannot turn back time, but I can get you to NYC in under an hour. 

vine reference: just as long as i am not in any danger of dropping my cwasant 

furry: even I can tell that was a bad one, dear sister. 

vine reference: shut the fuck up, dear brother 

—————————————————————— 

gaslight gatekeep girlboss  

2:35 am  

blind asshole: Peter is going on a trip to SI today 

blind asshole: we gotta go embarrass him  

2 assholes and steven: we’re in madripoor rn but i think we can make it -m 

cinnamon roll: no guys come on  

immortal asshole: nope no can do Petey-pie  

cinnamon roll: wait didn’t mr stark ban you from the tower or smth?  

immortal asshole: I have my ways 😏 

magic asshole: well this is amusing. ill be there to assist and also maybe kill that flash kid  

cinnamon roll: no no no  

cinnamon roll: no killing, Mr. Loki  

magic asshole: :( 

blind asshole: so do you want to tell us who flash is or 

cinnamon roll: he’s just a kid from school 

cinnamon roll: he doesn’t believe I have an internship and he likes to tease me abt it sometimes  

magic asshole: also he deadnames him  

magic asshole: and he can’t get in trouble because his parents are donors of the school 

two assholes and steven: this kid sounds like a real twat. I’m so sorry you had to go through this -s 

cinnamon roll: thank you so much mr steven, but it’s better me than anyone else  

cinnamon roll: I can take it  

two assholes and steven: Marc and jake say they won’t front rn because they might kill him and also Marc says you should not have to shoulder that alone -s 

cinnamon roll: tell them I say thank you!  

two assholes and steven: they already know -s  

two assholes and steven: and also for some reason khonshu says he will smite this flash 

mechanic asshole: so can I go beat this kid up or..? 

cinnamon roll: absolutely not  

mechanic asshole: awwww :( 

—————————————————————— 

3:00 am  

W. Wilson created a new chat

W. Wilson named the chat “the trip™”

W. Wilson changed their name to dp

dp: hey gays  

Y. Belova: why

dp: because somebody needs to make sure he has the most embarrassing trip ever  

Y. Belova: good point 

P. Parker: dp this might not work

N. Romanova: wade there is no way you just added Peter to a chat abt his field trip

P. Parker: I don’t have a field trip??? I’m not even in school anymore???

P. Parker: wait 

P. Parker: wait

M. Morales: nahhhh this gon get real confusing real quick 

H. Brown: 💀

P. Parker changed their name to Peter T

P. Parker changed their name to Peter (Aaa)

Peter (Aaa): better  

dp: so today I’ve gathered you here because Peter’s academic decathlon team is going to si and we have to gate crash them 

dp: who’s with me  

H. Brown: lmaooo that’s fuckin hilarious

H. Brown: count me in 

G. Stacy: hahaa absofuckinglutely

M. O’Hara: no.

P. Parker: I can’t I’m dealing with some shit in my own dimension 

P. Parker: sorry guys 

P. Parker: I’ll leave for deniability! Good luck!

P. Parker has left the chat

dp: who was that  

H. Brown: noir I think 

G. Stacy: bro is taking this wayy to seriously 

P. Parker: yesyesyes ( *｀ω´)

P. Parker changed their name to peniiii (*^u^)

P. Prabhakar: I would love to contribute! Just tell me how I can help! <3

P. Parker: mayday wants to go see Peter and Morgan again so I guess I’m coming 

P. Parker changed their name to Peter b 

M. Morales: lmaooo you alr know imma be there 

J. Barnes: ill be there 

N Romanova: same here

N. Romanova: and Clint is laughing too hard to text but he’ll help too

S. Wilson: you bet ill be there 

W. Maximoff: ill help no question about it 

P. Maximoff: me too 

Peter (Aaa): he’s gonna hate us so much for this  

Peter (Aaa): and I’m going in case you didn’t figure that out  

Peter T: we did 

Peter T: and I’m helping too  

M. Spector, S. Grant, J. Lockley: Marc and Jake give a resounding yes that I disapprove of -s 

M. Spector, S. Grant, J. Lockley changed their name to the moon system

the moon system: we are going to cause so much caos, mi amigos -j 

the moon system: be prepared -m 

L. Laufeychild: 100% fuck yeah I’m going 

L Laufeychild: and I’m bringing mobie

M. Mobius: no you’re not

L. Laufeychild: no I’m not 

M. Mobius has left the chat

T. Stark: it’s my tower so ofc I’m helping 

N. Romanova: wait arent u still on that business trip

T. Stark: yeah but im coming back today

T. Stark: dont tell the kid

P. Quill: fuck yeah

G. Ben Titan: seconded

R. Raccoon: thirded

Groot: i am groot 

R. Raccoon: he says fourthed

Drax: I am also interested in contributing to this scheme.  

Nebula: and I as well 

G. Ben Titan changed their name to Gamora

Gamora: because like no one actually knows that’s my last name  

Gamora: we should arrive sometime shortly after lunch on terra.  

M. Murdock: Yeah, I’m going too. Somebody’s got to keep you all in check. 

Y. Belova: you bet im going 

K. Bishop: seconded

Y. Belova: wow sooo original 

A. Shostakov: Be nice, Lena. 

Belova changed A. Shostakov’s name to the red guardian (!!!)

C. Barton: wait we can change other peoples names in this???

N. Romanova: not now Clint

C. Barton: :(

A. Starr: im going too

R. Reynolds: ill be there!

J. Walker: Yeah theres no way im going

A. Starr: boringggggg

Y. Belova: get outtttttt

S. Rogers: I do not know if I will be able to help out. There’s been another Hydra sleeper cell that I’ve gotten word of, so I’ll be investigating that. 

Shuri: ayyyy you already knowww imma be there 

T’Challa: unfortunately, I will also be there to supervise 

Okoye: And I will be there with shuri.  

P Potts: as long as you don’t break anything im okay with it. 

H. Keener: im gonna catch a plane over to nyc so I can help y’all out with this

B. Banner: guys can’t we just be nice to him? He’s been through enough!

M. Jones: no. 

Shuri: wait who are you  

H. Brown: who tf r u 

M. Jones: im mj, one of Peter’s best friends

M. Jones: we dated for a bit but that was before I realized girls were really nice

Shuri: ooooooo we twinning  

M. Jones changed their name to mj

mj: alr first order of business: there’s this kid named flash who is bullying Peter. Some of y’all already know abt this, but for those who don’t: he deadnames Peter and can’t get in trouble because his parents are donors of the school  

H. Brown: aw hell nah

mj: wait it gets worse 

mj: his teacher is also extremely transphobic and hates him and guess what she’s chaperoning the trip!! 

M. Morales: can’t I just electrocute venom her??

mj: no unfortunately that’s illegal  

mj: call them out whenever possible  

dp: wait this is my operation  

mj: not anymore 

dp: (okay) 

mj: okay lets get to it  

mj has started a video call  

—————————————————————— 

gaslight gatekeep girlboss  

3:10 am  

cinnamon roll: guys where are you 

cinnamon roll: guys??? 

Earths Mightiest Heroes (Peter do NOT change the name) (I MEAN IT)  

3:15 am  

biderman: guys where are you?? 

Scary. : go to sleep.  

biderman: okay 

Chapter Text

Peter wakes up and boy, does he feel shitty! His side, while still somewhat healed, is still sluggishly oozing blood. And it hurts like a bitch. He gets up and re-bandages it, wincing every time he binds a little too tight. Usually, he has Matt or Clint to do it for him, but since they’re busy with something today they can’t help him. Wait, what are they busy with? Oh, that’s right. They were organizing and planning for the field trip that was today. Shit, that was his field trip, and he was already late.   

Peter dashed out the door, not bothering to eat breakfast in favor of swinging to school as fast as possible.  

He arrived just as the bus was about to pull away, rushed on and sat in the first available seat - which happened to be in the front row, directly across from Mrs. Elliot, and in front of Flash.  

Peter sends off a text to the Avengers group chat, begging them one last time to leave him alone and ditch the field trip plan.  

Predictably, he was rejected.  

Earths Mightiest Heroes (Peter do NOT change the name) (I MEAN IT)  

8:06 am  

biderman: guys can you please leave me the fuck alone today 

in ur vents: lmao no chance  

americas ass: Sorry kid, but that Flash guy needs to be taught a lesson.  

biderman: could u like cancel everything you’ve got planned tho 

moon bitches: too late -j 

biderman: fuck u mean too late  

moon bitches: look at ur bus driver -j 

biderman: JAKE  

biderman: NO FUCKING WAY YOURE BACK 

biderman: wait how are you texting if you’re driving  

moon bitches: very unsafely. -s 

biderman: so can I talk to you guys  

moon bitches: no we driving -m 

biderman: :( 

Great, so Jake Lockley was not only in on the plan but DRIVING HIS BUS. Marc said they had to concentrate on driving, so Peter put earbuds in and unpaused his music where he had left off.  

I want it to be like, messy-  

Peter overheard snippets of conversation from the rest of the bus, even over the heavy guitar of the song playing in his ears.  

“I’m so excited!-“ 

I’m so insecure I think  

“Do you think we’re gonna meet the avengers?” 

That I’ll die before I drink   

“Do we really think Peter’s telling the truth?” 

And I’m so caught up in the news  

“Did you see this?” 

Of who likes me and who hates you   

“There’s no way Peter actually interns at SI…” 

And I’m so tired that I might   

aiding and abetting

8:10 am

hee hee: hows it going sitting by flash and elliot, Peter? 

Quit my job, start a new life   

silly spooder: fine 

and they’d all be so disappointed   

the guy in the chair!!!!: lies 

Cause who am I if not exploited   

silly spooder: no really they haven’t bothered me yet 

And I’m so sick of seventeen   

“Ayo penis! It’s gonna be so satisfying when all your lies get exposed!” 

Where’s my fucking teenage dream?  

Hee hee: lmao I heard that  

If someone tells me one more time   

“Once all your lies get exposed, your friends are gonna leave you!” 

“Enjoy your youth”   

“Just like your parents!” 

I’m gonna cry   

“Mr. Parker, I wanted to talk to you about this facade you have up.” 

And I don’t stick up for myself   

“High schoolers can’t get internships with SI, so unless you come clean right now, I’ll give you detention.” 

I’m anxious and nothing can help   

“You do not have an internship, Parker! Stop lying!” 

And I wish I’d done this before   

“Mr. Parker, if you cannot keep your mouth shut about this lie during our trip, I will get you suspended.”  

And I wish people liked me more   

"Steven I'm trying to concentrate- not you too, Jake- oh my god please just leave me alone about Layla-” 

All I did was try my best  

“Get ready children, we’re almost there!” 

This the kinda thanks I get?   

silly spooder: thanks mj 

Unrelentlessy upset   

hee hee: np she’s a bitch 

They say these are the golden years   

“Look, there it is!” 

But I wish I could disappear   

“You’re going down, Penis Parker.” 

Ego crush is so severe   

“Everybody off! We’re here!” 

God, it’s brutal out here.