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Chapter Text

Heloooohiiii!!!! So, I had an idea to write some kind of sci-fi story about the distant future with the members of Radiohead (God bless them). It's turning out a little crazy, because I'm a nerd who loves robots and all sorts of crap related to space. This is my first fic, please don't be mean! Anyway, if you're interested, then please read! I'll try to release chapters as often as possible, if you like the beginning of the story.
There will be a lot of sad moments, but don't worry, the story should end well! (or not?) hehe
Again, I apologize if some moments look a little confusing, I'll try to write everything concisely, so that you don't have any misunderstandings about the plot
and also forgive me if you find any grammatical or verbal mistakes (English is not my native language)

Chapter Text

The ship flew over endless rows of small stones and meteors, sharply swerving from side to side. Phil, holding tightly to the steering wheel, tried to maneuver this huge machine in order to avoid unnecessary breakdowns of the ship or its becoming unusable. His arms were already aching, Phil was trying with difficulty to focus his gaze, his eyes were tired from the constantly flashing gray stones in front of the windshield. Meanwhile, from the room inside the ship, located in its center, rattling and ringing sounds were heard. It was Ed working, he was a mechanic on the ship, which he did quite well. Tools either fell in or slipped out of his hands, crashing to the floor, a drill and a screwdriver did not leave his left hand while he diligently twisted something with his right. Unfortunately, due to the strong shaking, most of the tools rolled into another corner, a bunch of nuts scattered on the floor.
- Damn, it's just impossible to work like this.. Phil? Can you be more careful?.. Phil, are you asleep!?
- It's not Phil's fault, Ed, - Colin's voice came from the brick-red and slightly rusty corridor
- It will continue like this the whole way until we land, I already checked. There are about 30 minutes left in the flight according to Earth time, so don't worry, we'll be landing soon.
- Mm.. well, half an hour is not that much.. - Ed muttered in response, continuing to pick at the mechanism with a screwdriver.
Colin was a meteorologist, he always said that he was very tired of constantly looking at the monitor, but in fact, he always told everyone on the ship with bright interest what kind of weather awaited them along the way. Colin smiled softly at Ed, seeing how he worked and hurried to the kitchen to have time to drink tea before the boiler died during landing.
- Ed, can I help you? You look very tired.. - the voice from the hallway was heard again.
Jonny went inside the room and began to pick up all the nuts and other small parts that had scattered across the floor.
- Thanks, Jonny.. Yes, I must admit, I am very tired. I still can't finish with him, although I managed to restore his voice with extreme accuracy.
Jonny approached Ed, looking at the mechanism in front of him with interest and some excitement.
- And how is it?.. You will be able to restore him, right? - Jonny's voice sounded slightly anxious, although quite hopeful. Like a child in a store asking his mother if he can buy a certain toy.
- I think so, but I need time.. - Ed stood up with a heavy sigh, tiredly tilting his head to the side to stretch his neck. He turned to Jonny, gently placing his hand on Jonny`s shoulder.
- But you need to understand, he will not be the same. I'll do everything I can, everything I can, Jonny, but he won't be the same..
Jonny lowered his head, hiding his sad eyes behind his hair. He understood what Ed was talking about, he knew it, but he couldn't accept it. Ed put an encouraging arm around Jonny's shoulders, causing him to look up.
-Well, at least look what we've got. Oh, wait, let me turn it on..
Ed rummaged in his pockets, taking out something like a very small electronic card, and walked forward, inserting it into a certain area. Jonny looked at it with wide eyes, turning his head from Ed to what was standing in front of them. A second later, a small mechanical beep was heard, causing Jonny to immediately stare ahead. Ed nervously rubbed his palm against the other, sighing
-Okay, well, let's try.. Thom, can you hear me?
…
-Thom?
The figure in front of them stirred. Jonny's mouth dropped open in surprise, he froze in place. There were light cracking and grinding sounds of metal. Jonny could now make out the figure standing in front of him: short-cropped hair, a slender, almost thin body, short stature, a familiar face and especially eyes. "Even the clothes he was wearing are the same as then," Jonny thought, almost holding his breath. The figure straightened up and stared blankly at Ed, sparking slightly with small flashes of electricity.
-Yes, I can hear you, Ed.

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The ship finally landed on planet C-113007. Unfortunately, fuel can only be found there, or rather not fuel, but a flammable liquid from which this fuel is obtained. Ed and Colin hurried outside, having previously taken all the supplies. Phil stretched out tiredly on the bunk in the pilot's cabin and hurried to fall asleep as soon as possible, but Colin's ringing voice managed to interrupt him.
- Phil, are you coming with us?
- No, I need to rest, really.. I think I'll dream about these meteors!
- Okay then! Then rest and.. - Colin did not have time to finish, because Phil closed the window, pulling the thick fabric that replaced his curtains.
- Well.. okay.. Jonny? Jonny, are you with us?
- Yes, I'll be right down! - Jonny's voice was heard from the ship. Colin and Ed's eyes widened when they saw Jonny standing in the doorway, zipping up his backpack, and Thom standing next to him, as if nothing had happened, scratching the back of his head and looking somewhere at his feet. Colin turned to Ed.
-You left his habits?.. How.. How were you able to restore them? - Colin asked almost in a whisper, tugging Ed by the sleeve.
- I had to try with this.. I had to enter absolutely everything I remember into his behavior database, it was tiring.. - Ed said, scratching the bridge of his nose.
- I just don't know why Jonny took him.. – Ed continued- ..he's not finished yet, and it's unlikely that it will be safe to take him on an expedition..
Colin, realizing what Ed meant, shouted to his brother
- Jonny! Leave Thom on the ship, he's not ready yet! You'll break him or he'll get lost!
Jonny raised his head, Thom did the same, lazily raising it and looking at Colin and Ed standing below
-No, he should come with us! We always went together, only we can climb to the top of X, remember? Besides, everything is clean there, there is no danger, I checked.
Jonny was something like an agronomist on the ship. He constantly collected various plants or soil, studied them and kept a notebook in which he wrote down everything about their properties. If necessary, Jonny managed to grow a certain type of plant, or, on the contrary, protect all team members from poisonous ones. Colin looked down, frowning. On the one hand, Jonny was right - dividing into teams was an integral part of each of their sorties, so the work was more productive and there was no need to worry about the safety of other comrades. But on the other hand, Thom was completely unprepared for expeditions now. Many details were not yet finalized, and his database was not filled with all the data. Colin decided to try again.
-Jonny! He's not ready yet! Leave him to charge and come with us!
Jonny frowned slightly, turning to Thom, who was rocking slightly from side to side on his toes.
-He's quite ready for the expedition, look!- Jonny turned to Thom, putting his hand on his shoulder. It was much harder than before and seemed sharper.
-Thom, can you walk? Can you go down the stairs?
Thom looked up at Jonny, as if studying his face for a few seconds.
-Yes, I can go down.
-Great! Do you know the route to the top of X?
Thom thought for a moment, looking down. A second later, he looked up at Jonny again.
-Yes, I know the route to the top of X. If you follow the coordinates, then after...
-The main thing is that you know it, - Jonny interrupted him, turning to Colin and Ed.
- He knows the way, we can go together, everything is fine!
Colin looked at Ed, who exhaled heavily
- Okay, but if he breaks down or something happens to him, we'll leave you here! - Ed shouted, to which Jonny smiled happily
- Don't worry, everything will be fine! Let's go, Thom?
Colin and Ed turned around and walked away from the ship. Colin held his laptop in his hands, looking at possible threats from the weather, but fortunately, none were noticed. Ed decided to help Colin, taking his backpack, to which he received a grateful smile from his comrade, before Colin again stared at the screen.
Jonny went down a step lower, offering Thom his hand so that he would not suddenly fall. But Thom only looked at his comrade with incomprehension, going down the step next to him
- You don't have to worry, Jonathan, I can go down.
Jonathan... why did Ed put this particular form of the name into the database? Jonny's eyes grew slightly sadder, Thom never called him that, except when he was joking
-Yeah, um... sorry,- Jonny continued to descend, while Thom followed beside him. His steps became heavier and seemed to tap slightly on the iron surface. Even when they reached the ground, Thom's movements seemed to make light mechanical clicks.
-Why do you call me Jonathan?..
Thom froze for a second, staring at his feet. His head jerked slightly, which made Jonny afraid (suddenly he broke something or asked a question that would break Thom's system), but Thom looked back at Jonny with the same calmness that was on his face when he was first turned on.
-That's what my database says. Your name is Jonathan Richard Guy Greenwood, born in Oxford in..
- That's not necessary! - Jonny's eyes widened, staring at Thom with excitement. Ed was right, he wasn't done yet. Jonny pressed his lips together, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind his ear
- Just call me Jonny, okay? Please.
Thom was still looking at Jonny, his posture and expression unchanged.
- Okay, Jonny.
Jonny exhaled, but his insides tightened unpleasantly. It felt like he was standing next to a complete stranger, not Thom. Jonny became sad, he lowered his head, quickly muttering to Thom about where they were going now and why. They set off towards a high rocky hill that resembled a volcano of an reddish-brown color. Jonny kept glancing at Thom, noticing that Thom was simply walking next to him, with the same calm expression on his face, obediently carrying a backpack on his shoulders. The air was shrouded in a yellowish smog, it seemed that the entire surface of the planet was covered with the remains of destroyed mountains. In fact, this was true, but, as Colin said, these were not stones, but the remains of meteorites and comets that did not reach the required point and crashed right here. Some of them resembled fragments, their edges were so sharp, because there was absolutely no water on the surface of the planet that could grind them down. There was no oxygen on the planet either, rather just an accumulation of gases transformed into something like air, thanks to flammable magmatic liquids that turned underground water into steam. At least, Jonny thought so.
They had already walked about a kilometer, Jonny's legs were unpleasantly aching because of the uneven rocky surface beneath them. He looked at Thom again, noticing that he stepped on the sharp rocky corners quite easily, without losing his balance or writhing in muscle pain.
-Aren't you heavy, Thom? Should I help you with your backpack?
Thom turned his head to Jonny, continuing to calmly step on the rocks
-No, it's okay, Jonny. I can carry it.

Jonny lowered his now glassy eyes again, looking at his feet.
Thom always threw his backpack on Jonny's back during expeditions.

Chapter Text

After an excruciating 2 kilometers of walking on stone fragments, they finally reached the necessary point. The summit of X was a high, black mountain with a worn-out top. It was dry, reminiscent of burnt bark of a reddish tree. At the top there was a deep riverbed, more reminiscent of a volcanic crater, in which a liquid bubbled with dark splashes. It was absolutely impossible to be near it without a mask, the vapors of this liquid were so hot and caustic that it was possible to lose consciousness in 40 seconds, and suffocate in two minutes.
Stopping at the foot of the mountain, Jonny, catching his breath, sat down on a cobblestone, stretching out his aching legs. Thom stood nearby, carefully watching Jonny's actions, as if he was not tired at all. Jonny put his hands on his hips, squeezing them slightly to at least relax his muscles a little. He raised his head to Thom, realizing that now he was going to ask another meaningless question.
-Aren't you tired?
Thom shook his head. Jonny looked closely at this small action, because it was so reminiscent of the old Thom's behavior that Jonny thought for a second that maybe everything wasn't as sad as he thought. He decided to try to chat with his comrade.
- My legs hurt a lot.. These damn stones are everywhere here, I think I'll have to bite into this mountain with my teeth to climb it.. - Jonny chuckled slightly, but Thom's expression changed to serious, even slightly worried, which made Jonny nervous.
- If you have wounds, then you won't be able to walk.. you'll get an infection and.. - Thom's body suddenly cracked and he grabbed his head with his hand as if he was desperately trying to remember something. Jonny immediately jumped up from his place and ran to Thom, who was already slightly twitching. He was afraid to touch Thom, so as not to make things worse, but he still pulled him by the shoulders, turning him towards himself.
-Thom! Thom, is everything okay!? Thom, can you hear me!?.. - Jonny shouted worriedly, shaking Thom. He was ready to bury himself under the ground, if Thom broke, he would hardly be able to drag him to the ship. Suddenly Thom's body made a sparkling crackle again and he calmly stood up in his usual position, looking at Jonny.
-If you're in pain, I can carry you.
-What?.. - Jonny's eyes widened in shock. He remembered these words, something inside him hurt terribly, his chest seemed to squeeze from lack of air.
-I said, if you're in pain, I can carry you. If you have wounds, then you won't be able to walk, you`ll get an infection or worse. So don't argue and climb onto my back.

Jonny covered his face with his hands, lowering his head. He could no longer hold back his sobs and tears, his body began to tremble slightly, his breathing became ragged. Jonny knew these words very well, he remembered them. These were his words. These words Jonny said back when he and Thom were on another expedition. It was a fateful expedition, an expedition that changed Jonny's life forever. This unobtrusive offer will forever remain in Jonny's memory and most likely will never leave it. Thom rubbed his head with his palm, looking down somewhere, looking as if he had just been turned on.
- This is strange.. mm… this is not in my database..sorry.

"But it is in mine" - thought Jonny, continuing to cry, while Thom looked at him in bewilderment.

Chapter Text

- How long is it still to go, Jon-Jon?- Thom's voice was heard, slightly out of breath from the long journey.
- Mm... almost there. We need to go up a little higher, - Jonny answered, looking at the notebook with a drawn map that Colin handed him before leaving the ship.
- If we don't find this super-miracle-nano-potato, then I'll start eating dirt, or you and Colin, it was your idea. And I'm tired of this fucking backpack, you'll carry it on the way back - Thom said capriciously and slightly irritatedly through clenched teeth, throwing the backpack more comfortably on his back. Jonny smiled, casting a quick glance at his comrade
- It's definitely there, I'm sure. Be patient, there's just a little bit left and we'll make a stop, - Jonny assured Tom, to which he only noisily exhaled something like "fine, let's go."

They went to one of the sites on E-225446. It was one of the few planets that resembled Earth. There were no living creatures as such, but outwardly it was dotted with fields, hills and rocky elevations. Along the way, you could even come across a stream, the water in it was suitable for drinking, but it was still necessary to filter it, at least for greater safety, as Phil insisted. The goal of their expedition was to search for tubers of a certain potato, which Jonny had managed to read about on the ship in one of his books about plants that can survive in adverse conditions. Jonny and Colin wanted to arrange something like a seedling field inside the ship, but ultimately came to the decision to grow potatoes in pots, separately, to save free space.
Now Jonny and Thom were climbing a mountain that Ed decided to call Andromeda because of its ring-shaped rocky relief. At its top there was supposed to be a field where they could find and collect tubers of this plant. Grunting and puffing, they finally managed to climb to the top, probably cursing those very ring-shaped reliefs, which they had to carefully climb, literally leaning against the mountain with their whole body so as not to fall down. Thom, having stepped on the soft grassy surface with his feet, immediately threw the backpack somewhere to the side and spread out on the ground, catching his breath. Jonny sat down next to him, tugging at the runner of the backpack lock. Opening the backpack, he took out two homemade sandwiches, holding one out to Thom, to which he lazily extended his hand, without even turning his head, taking the long-awaited food.
- I'll never go to these damn mountains again, never.. - said Thom, bringing the sandwich to his mouth and taking a bite. Although their rations had softened a little and the bread had become unpleasantly sticky to the teeth, Jonny had made it, and it was always tasty, so Thom, without even finishing the first piece, immediately took a second. Jonny grinned, chewing his sandwich. He looked at Thom, slightly tilting his head to the side.
-At least we got there. And do you see those little sprouts ahead? I'm sure that's it.
-Whatever it is, if this crap doesn't grow, I'll smash my head on this mountain.
Jonny laughed again, looking off into the distance. He liked this planet, it was beautiful and green. Everything about it was almost like on Earth: lacy white clouds that gathered into fluffy tubers, majestic pointed mountains, fields covered with grass carpets. All this reminded Jonny of home, of the time when there were no wars or troubles. He relaxed in thoughts, letting the light wind caress his hair, tangling the dark strands. Jonny slightly opened his eyes, looking at Thom. Despite all his complaints, Thom now looked like the most peaceful person in the world - his eyelids blissfully closed, his chest heaving with pleasure as he filled with fresh air, his hands folded under his head. Jonny loved to see this, loved to see Thom happy, so calm. It was a great rarity, especially since they had just had to step onto the ship.

- Jonny..- Thom muttered, without opening his eyes
- Hm? - Jonny turned his head towards Thom, chewing the last piece of his dinner.
- If all this hadn't happened, what would you be doing now?..
Jonny was slightly excited by this question, he looked down, thinking.
- Well.. I would build a house, have a bunch of chickens and grow a garden. I would probably grow something like grapes or olives, and then make wine or oil.. something like that..- Jonny had long thought about the quiet life of a "simple owner of his plot", a garden was his old dream.
- Mm.. And flowers?
- Yes, flowers too.
- Sunflowers.
- What?
- It would be great if you grew sunflowers, - Thom explained, without changing his lying position- Well, I mean, they are big and bright. And they have beautiful petals. And they look like the sun.
Jonny looked at Thom, who also decided to turn his head towards Jonny. They just looked at each other, not saying anything. The sun was slowly disappearing somewhere behind the horizon, covering the sky with a red haze, which made Thom close his eyes. Jonny could not hold back a smile, looking at him.
- Okay. And sunflowers.
Thom smiled lazily, looking away into the distance. Jonny followed his example, admiring the approach of the sunset.

-You have beautiful eyes, Jon-Jon, - Thom muttered, but Jonny could hear him.
He immediately turned his head, looking at Thom with amazement.
-Mine?
-Mhm.. They get warmer in the sunlight. You know, like amber or something.
Jonny looked down, blushing in embarrassment. The grass beneath his feet resembled waves that obediently twisted in the light wind, intertwining into patterns.
-You have beautiful eyes too, Thom.
Thom smiled, shaking his head slightly to the side, as if denying Jonny's words. After sitting for a few more minutes, they decided to get down to the original task and headed towards the green shoots visible in the distance.

Chapter Text

The smog began to thicken, the top of the mountain was almost hidden behind the yellow acrid smoke, it was necessary to hurry. Jonny, quickly wiping his tears with his sleeve, approached Thom. Going behind him, Jonny tried to open Thom's backpack, but Thom quickly turned to him, as if not understanding what Jonny was doing.
- I need to get respirators, Thom. We need to put them on if we do not want to suffocate.
Thom obediently turned his back to Jonny, allowing him to rummage through his backpack. When Jonny got out the protective equipment, he handed one respirator to Thom, but Thom only stared at the mask in bewilderment.
- I don't need to put it on, Jonny. I can't suffocate.
"Yeah, right," Jonny thought, looking at the mask in his hand. On the edge of the white thick fabric, Thom's name was crookedly drawn in black marker. He and Jonny were signing masks for everyone. Thom hated it because it took a lot of time and the masks had to be changed every day, if not more often (if they were in such adverse conditions as on C-113007 or G-647880, but more on that later), so they usually limited themselves to initials. But Thom believed that signing them was as important as sorting all the medical supplies for everyone into separate "emergency boxes", or as everyone called them on the ship - EB. As you can guess, Thom used to hold the position of a medic on the ship. Of course, he did not have a professional education, and he was not very good at anatomy, but in his youth he had the opportunity to work in the medical departments as a junior assistant, so he still knew some basics. But he was very lucky with the team, everyone was extremely careful during expeditions, except for Ed, who often burned himself with a soldering iron.
Jonny ran his thumb over the name written on the fabric and looked up at Thom, sighing heavily and sadly
-Put it on anyway.
Thom raised an eyebrow slightly, looking from the mask to Jonny.
-Please, Thom. For me, put it on.
Thom hesitantly took the respirator in his hands, stretching the elastic with his fingers. Jonny quickly put on his mask, pulling it over the bridge of his nose. Noticing how Thom hesitated (as if his brain was now busily processing what to do), Jonny took the mask from his hands, carefully putting it on Thom's face, hooking the edges of the elastic behind his ears. Adjusting the respirator, Jonny looked at Thom, noticing how Thom was trying to adjust the mask himself, running his fingers along the elastic at the back of his head and pulling it higher up to the bridge of his nose. The elastic bands on the respirators were always a little big for him, which is why Thom was constantly adjusting the mask, or even trying to tie something like a knot at the back so that it would not fall off. Still, Ed had restored his behavior habits well.
Jonny adjusted the straps of the backpack on Thom's shoulders, turning towards the mountain
- Well, shall we go? We need to climb as quickly as possible, otherwise visibility will be very poor. The smog is already thickening...
- Mm-hmm, - Thom nodded, and they approached a large rocky ledge at the foot of the mountain, more like an old, destroyed step.

Luckily, there was no need to climb this mountain.
Since fuel was a constant resource of consumption, Ed decided that drilling something like a ladder along the perimeter of the mountain would be a very worthwhile solution. That's what he and Phil did (thanks to the design of their ship and the presence of a bunch of auxiliary tools on it, such as a storm machine that resembled a huge horn or a pointed shell). Climbing up became much more convenient, the only problem was the altitude and the pressure, which was extremely high on this planet. But in case of emergency, Thom always had a couple of syringes of hydralazine in his backpack.

Jonny, as usual, went first, breathing heavily through his mask, while Thom made no sound, as if he was not breathing at all. Climbing higher, with each step, Jonny turned his head, looking at Thom to be sure that his companion was okay. But Thom looked quite calm, easily stepping from one dark relief step to another, looking at his feet. The younger one admitted to himself that he missed Thom's eternally dissatisfied comments, which he usually muttered under his breath with each of their ascents into the mountains. Jonny remembered how they had climbed Andromeda, remembered how they had picked up the green shoots buried deep in the earth and thrown them into a large cotton bag. Taking another step, stepping higher, Jonny remembered how they had decided to fool around and started chasing each other, playing tag, stepping barefoot on the soft grass that swayed in the wind.
And then they fell to the ground, exhausted, breathing heavily and laughing. He remembered turning to Thom then, remembered his laughter, his smile, which had now completely disappeared from his emaciated face. Jonny remembered Thom turning to him too, lightly touching Jonny's palm with his fingers. They took each other's hands, completely unconsciously, and closed their eyes. It was a moment that Jonny would remember for the rest of his life, a moment that warmed him inside, but also hurt him deeply. He turned again, looking at Thom, who continued to drag himself behind, looking at his feet. Jonny bit his lips, not daring to try to start a conversation again. He wanted to believe that Thom was still somewhere inside, the Thom he knew. The Thom he loved.
- Thom.. Do you remember how we were on Andromeda?
Thom was silent, his steps became a little slower. Jonny continued
- Remember when we were on E-225446? We went up the mountain to pick some sprouts.
Thom stopped, looking at the ground. Suddenly, his body cracked slightly, just like last time. He grabbed his head with his hand, looking up at Jonny with slightly lost eyes.
- Andromeda?...
- Yes! The mountain, with rings.. - Jonny said happily, also stopping.
- Do you remember how we climbed it? Remember how you didn't want to climb?
Thom's pupils darted back and forth, as if he was deep in thought. As if he was thinking excitedly.
- No.
Jonny pursed his lips, rubbing the strap of his backpack.
- Do you remember what the weather was like? Remember the sunset, the wind, the conversation about home?
Thom cringed slightly, his body shuddering with a small mechanical click. His face became slightly worried, tense
-No..
Jonny's eyes glazed over again. His hand gripped the strap tighter, his breathing quickened, which was quite unpleasant because of the thick mask, which did not allow him to take a full, deep breath. He went down a step, coming closer to Thom. Thom hesitantly raised his head, their eyes met. Jonny's fingers carefully squeezed Thom's arms just above the bend of his elbow. His hands were shaking slightly, he tried to hold Thom so that he would not move away, although Thom was not going to.
-Do you remember how we held hands?..
Thom looked with lost, restless eyes into Jonny's eyes, which were already filling with tears. He looked at his feet, bringing his eyebrows together, trying to remember. Thom felt his body being pierced by small discharges of electricity, something was wrong, he should not remember this, it was not in his database. But at the same time, something flashed in his mind. Some fleeting images, sensations that he tried to feel again, running them through his memory. Jonny squeezed his arms tighter, forcing Thom to look up at him.
-Thom, do you remember?..
Thom hesitated for a few seconds, slowly shaking his head
-No..
Thom couldn't cry, or rather, he didn't yet understand why it was necessary and what was the reason for tears. Emotionally, he was still poorly developed, Ed hadn't had time to work with it yet. But looking at how Jonny's hands trembled, and transparent tracks flowed down his cheekbones, making the edges of the mask wet, something inside Thom felt wrong. Not how his consciousness should work. Looking at Jonny, he was pierced by an incomprehensible cold, he felt physically worse. He froze, not knowing what to do, but feeling something inside that was similar to overload.
-Did I upset you, Jonny?
Jonny let go of Thom's forearms, wiping away his tears.
-No... it's okay, it's not your fault.
-Tell me about it.
-What?..
-About the mountain we climbed. About the wind, about the sunset, about everything you asked me about. About how we held hands.
Jonny froze, his eyes wide. After thinking for a few seconds, he nodded, stepping up a step.
-Okay.. but should we move on? It wouldn't be good if we were too late..
Thom nodded, following Jonny up the wide, rocky steps, climbing toward the top.

Chapter Text

Meanwhile, Colin and Ed were walking along the wasteland. This was another part of C-113007, located in the opposite direction from where Jonny and Thom had gone. The wasteland was a huge sandy valley, reminiscent of tundra, only without plants. Only dried small bushes remained, similar to tumbleweeds. The ground was slightly yellowed, crumbly. Occasionally there were small stones that unpleasantly pricked the feet if you stepped on them. Fortunately, Ed preferred to wear thick boots, reminiscent of combat boots, convincing everyone to switch to this type of footwear (admittedly, they were quite hot and heavy, but at least you didn’t have to worry about getting hurt when stepping on a hard surface).
They went there to search for coal. Despite the fact that the ship worked with flammable liquid, it was still not safe to cook food on it, and it was also expensive. It was hard enough to get flammable liquid, so they used the old tried and true coal to cook their food.
Colin, staring at the laptop screen, pointed somewhere to the side
- We're going to the right.. if the map isn't deceiving me, then the coal should be there.
- Oh, ok.. - Ed shifted both backpacks onto his shoulders more comfortably, sighing. The wasteland wasn't a particularly favorable place, sand dust was everywhere, settling on his hair and clothes. Ed hated it, every time he returned from the wasteland, he had to shake himself off, as if he had just been dug out of the ground, or rather sand. Colin, noticing that Ed was already quite tired, turned his head towards him, smiling warmly
- Cheer up, there's not much left. I know how much you don't like this place.
- I hate this place.. - Ed muttered through his teeth, rubbing his eyes, which were unpleasantly burning because of the small grains of sand. Colin laughed slightly, pointing his finger in front of him again
-There.
They came to a small rocky elevation, more like a large boulder. There was a hole inside it, with it the boulder looked like a cave. The guys squatted down, putting their backpacks and laptop aside. Colin looked into the depression, seeing a dark, textured surface
-That's it.
Ed exhaled calmly, glad that they didn't have to walk a few more kilometers. The advantages of this planet's coal were that it was usually immediately noticeable, and also, due to its looseness, it was very easy to extract. Ed reached into his backpack, taking out a folded device from there, opening it. At the end of the device was a sharpened blade, with a spiral relief. The device was large enough, taking up almost all the space in Ed's already large hiking backpack, but the process of coal mining was still always slow. With a tug on the handle of the device (like a chainsaw), Ed was able to start it, holding it to the dark, dry soil and starting to drill into it. He and Colin watched intently as the earthy bits crumbled, releasing a dark, blackish layer. Colin sat up, bending one leg and putting the laptop in his backpack. Ed, meanwhile, continued to hold the device as it slowly but surely loosened the earth.
- This looks like it will take a long time.. the soil here is rocky - Ed said, noticing how the blade of the device screeched as it bounced off small stones onto smoother areas.
- Well, then we'll hold it in turns - Colin suggested, receiving a quiet "okay" in response.
Colin took a small notebook out of his pocket, leafing through it. On the first page was his and Ed's supply- two sandwiches, two chocolate bars, four coffee tablets. On the second page were Ed's notes- "take *illegible*, 2 pieces, fix *illegible*, torch BATTERIES!" (Colin couldn't always make out Ed's handwriting, because he usually wrote in a hurry, like a note), on the third page was a drawn map of the wasteland, very small. It had important places marked with red crosses, and the distance to these places was written next to them. On the fourth page, a crumpled piece of paper was stuck with tape. On it, in Jonny's handwriting, was written "don't be mad at Ed, sometimes he's a jerk :)" and two faces were drawn - Jonny and Colin. Colin smiled, looking at this note with warmth. Jonny had slipped it under Colin's door when he and Ed had a heated argument over the boiler. Colin decided to have some tea in the evening, to which Ed said that the boiler already used up a lot of energy and there was no need for extra expenses. Colin started to object that he was tired of drinking water and if he didn't drink tea he would feel terrible. As a result, the dialogue turned into an argument, and the argument into a fight. Ed then shouted loudly at Colin, which made him very offended and he didn't leave his cabin for the rest of the evening. Of course, Ed later apologized, shamefacedly handing Colin some potted plant that he had stolen from Jonny's greenhouse with a note saying "sorry :(" and a mug of tea. It looked so ridiculous that Colin couldn't help but laugh, inviting Ed to have tea with him in the room. That's how they made up.
Colin looked at the drawn faces, but his smile disappeared from his face. He was worried about Jonny's condition, after... the incident with Thom, Jonny became more nervous and cried a lot. Ed, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, looked at Colin, holding the machine with his other hand (his hands were already used to holding weights).
-Are you worried about him?- Ed asked, knowing full well Colin's concern, to which he nodded. Ed carefully placed the machine on the ground, without turning it off, directing the blade to another area of the ground so that it would work a little without his participation. Making sure that the device was more or less stable on the ground, Ed went to Colin and sat down next to him.
- I just don't know how to cheer him up.. I understand that it's hard for him now, and.. what am I saying, it's hard for all of us! Thom's death literally broke me, and if it weren't for you being able to restore him, Ed... oh, I don't know what I would have done... - Colin pulled his knees up, resting his elbows on them and holding his head in his hands.
- I understand, Coz.. We were very lucky with Phil, if it weren't for him we would have gone crazy with horror..
Colin nodded quickly. After the tragedy, Phil really behaved very courageously, trying to maintain general calm, although inside he was just as broken.
- I still don't understand how you were able to put it back together.. well, umm.. I mean... - Colin pointed to his arm.
- A bioprosthesis.
- Ah... I see.. - Colin didn't know much about engineering, but Ed was willing to explain something to him.
- He also has iron ribs, did you know? - Ed asked, to which Colin's eyes widened
- Jesus.. really?..
- Yeah. And bones.. In fact, I had to shove a whole endoskeleton into him..
-Ugh, don't tell me more.. - Colin grimaced, frowning.
-Sorry.. - Ed didn't understand that this might sound unpleasant to Colin, after all, it was part of his job. But he understood the weight of the perception that Thom was now, in fact.. a robot. An android, if you could call him that. Living flesh on the outside, mechanical insides on the inside. Cold skin and a metal valve in the heart.

Colin, sadly tilting his head to the side, stared at his shoes
- I just want him to feel a little easier.. I understand that he's desperately trying to get Thom back, I understand that he won't accept it, but.. mhh.. I don't know what to do, Ed.. He's so sensitive, and all this..
Ed put his arm around Colin's shoulder, moving closer. He looked at him sympathetically, stroking Colin's shoulder.
- Coz, he'll be able to get used to it.. It'll be hard for him, but...
-And if I died?- Colin turned his head, looking closely into Ed's wide-open and slightly frightened eyes
-If I died, what would you do?
Ed looked down in silent shock, looking at the ground
-I'd probably jump into the crater at the top of X..
-There- said Colin, returning to his previous position - See, he's going through the same thing now.. He doesn't know what to do, it hurts.. And I can't help at all…
- Well.. It can't be that bad, huh?.. Jonny, of course, loved Thom as a friend, but..
-As a friend?- Colin turned his laughing eyes to Ed, grinning slightly - Ed, are you kidding?
Ed looked extremely lost. Did he say something wrong?
- Uh.. well.. yeah – Ed muttered, nervously squeezing Colin's shoulder
Colin exhaled, rolling his eyes slightly
- You really didn't see what was going on between them? All this "we're going on an expedition together" and "I'm writing a poem-confession to myself" and "leave me alone, Colin, I'm not in love, we just managed to find potatoes, so I'm happy", do you think this is just friendship? "nice shirt, Thom, I mean very nice, I mean it`s okay, I mean um, I mean um" - Colin said, slightly rolling his eyes in a teasing tone.
Ed's eyes opened so wide that Colin couldn't hold back his laughter. He leaned against Ed, resting his head on his shoulder
- I.. I really didn't think.. - Ed shook his head, looking so surprised, as if he were an ancient man who learned that the Earth was round. Colin chuckled, closing his eyes
- You're such a dummy, Ed.
- Well, you put up with me somehow..
- I do. And I will continue to put up with it- Colin replied, lightly kissing Ed on the cheek, causing Ed's cheeks to flush and his eyes to widen again. Colin easily got out of Ed's embrace, standing up and dusting off his pants. He saw the shaking device that Ed had left on the ground, apparently having forgotten about it. The device, bouncing, was moving towards the edge of the cave, almost halfway falling inside.
- ED, YOU'RE A MORON- Colin rushed towards the device, grabbing it by the handle, while Ed awkwardly jumped from his seat, running up to Colin. Colin spent the next three minutes scolding the confused Ed for not keeping an eye on important things. Now Colin decided to hold the device, while Ed squatted nearby, looking sheepishly at his boots.

Chapter Text

-..and then Ed healed you...uh..more accurately fixed you- Jonny was finishing a long story about the events that happened to him and Thom. He managed to tell about several expeditions, about a couple of funny incidents (like when Thom mixed up the mugs, taking the one in which Ed was mixing lubricant for the parts, and then threw up), about what happened to Thom and his role on the ship before the incident. Thom listened attentively and walked behind Jonny, saying nothing. They were almost there, just a couple of steps left.
-Thom, are you listening? Is everything okay?- Jonny turned to Thom, worried by the silence
-Hm? Yes, I'm listening. Sorry, I need to process this, it may take a while.
-Ah.. okay, sure. Look, we're almost there - Jonny nodded towards the dark, loose surface, climbing the last step, feeling the warm earth even under the soles of his boots. They had finally reached the top. Now all that was left was to collect some liquid and go back. Jonny quickly opened his backpack, taking out something folded into a flat spring. Taking hold of the edges of this spring, he opened it, and it formed a long tube, cast from tungsten (thanks to which it was not exposed to such a high temperature) with a small hole. Thom stared blankly into the crater, studying with his eyes the bubbling boiling liquid, shimmering with red streaks.
- Thom, come here, help me hold it.
Thom approached Jonny, taking one end of the tube in his hands, tightly grasping it with his fingers, while Jonny placed the other on the ground. He reached for the backpack again, this time to the one on Thom's back, and again took out something folded into a flatter one, opening it by pulling the edges up. An ordinary canister, cast from the same metal as the tube. Setting the canister down on the ground, Jonny lifted the end of the tube, placing it in the hole of the canister. After that, he took out something like a lever, hollow inside, from his backpack again.
- Well, okay... Thom, hold it tight, I'll fill it.
Jonny inserted the lever into the hole of the tube. Thus, something like a pump was created. Thom did not move, holding the tube, while Jonny began to pull the lever, forcing the liquid, hissing, to rise up the tube straight into the canister. Thom stared closely into the crater, watching as the liquid began to gurgle even more loudly, sucked into the tube.
- I remember how you burned yourself with this liquid - he said thoughtfully
Jonny, busy diligently raising and lowering the lever up and down, did not quite hear what Thom said
- What?
- I remember how you burned yourself. There is a scar on your arm. Right arm, just below the elbow. You had a bad burn and it left a scar.
Jonny paused for a second, frowning slightly. The rest of the liquid flowed into the canister with a hollow and heavy sound.
- Do you remember this?.. Is it in your database?
Jonny was seriously surprised. It was true. Long ago, when they were just adapting to the conditions of different planets, Jonny inadvertently pulled the lever too hard, causing the crater to splash, splashing thick drops of boiling liquid. One of these drops, landed straight on Jonny's arm, leaving a burnt hole in his sweater, and a terribly aching burn on his arm. It was strange, he did not tell Thom about this, the only option left was that Ed recorded this incident in Thom's database. But Thom shook his head slightly, continuing to stare at the crater
- No, I remember this.
Jonny stared at the lever in shock, taking hold of it again and continuing to pump liquid into the canister. Something was wrong. Or was it good? Maybe Thom was becoming his old self and his memory was returning? Jonny began to breathe more excitedly, pressing again.
- It hurt, and you let water out of your eyes. Then they treated the burn..
- You treated it, Thom.
- Mm.. - Thom, without changing his position, jerked slightly - probably..
- Not "probably", Thom, you treated it - Jonny was starting to get nervous. It seemed like everything was starting to go as he had hoped - Thom became more talkative, even remembered the event related to Jonny on his own, and here it was again. He did not remember anything that connected them, did not remember a single moment that brought them closer. Chasing away anxious thoughts, Jonny seemed to be stuck in them. He continued to press the lever, this time more aggressively, tugging it harder.
-Jonny, there's enough liquid already.. – said Thom, looking at Jonny, who kept pulling the lever harder each time
"Why does it have to be like this? Why doesn't he remember anything.. why should I suffer, why did he even climb onto that fucking plain then.." the thoughts were getting louder, more desperate. Apparently Jonny's nerves were really starting to fail, he was worried so much that his melancholy and bitterness turned into anger and despair. Anger at fate, anger at himself.
-Jonny..
Jonny pulled the lever with all his might one last time, breathing heavily and almost growling. Unfortunately, the situation repeated itself. Jonny overdid it. He quickly turned to Thom, dropping the lever from his hands when he heard a hissing sound from the side. The tube fell to the ground with a crash, the end falling out of the filled canister. Thom stood, his eyes wide open, looking at his leg, moving away from the crater, backing away. A black and red clot was hissing on his leg, literally burning Thom's flesh. Jonny screamed in horror, running up to it and falling to his knees, watching the blood bake on the newly appeared burn. Jonny was shaking with fear, he promised himself and Ed that nothing would happen to Thom, and now he had a bloody hole in his leg, hissing and bleeding. It would be good to give Thom first aid, but Jonny was overcome with real panic.
- OH MY GOD, THOM! FORGIVE ME, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I DIDN'T MEAN IT, I DIDN'T THINK..! - Jonny literally howled, hugging Thom's body by the waist. His voice was jumping hysterically, his sighs became more frequent. But Thom stood as if nothing had happened, as if it wasn't magma that had splashed onto his leg, but ordinary oil boiling in a frying pan while breakfast was being cooked on him.
- Jonny.. - Thom lowered his head in bewilderment, looking at the top of his dark hair, while Jonny's hands hysterically grabbed and stroked Thom's lower body, sobbing endless "sorry" and "I'm such an idiot" - It's okay, Jonny. It doesn't hurt.
Jonny slowly raised his head, looking into Thom's eyes with empty and fear-filled eyes. His hands slowly slid down from Thom's hips.
-Doesn't hurt?..
-No. I'm not capable of feeling physical pain.

Jonny lowered his head, getting to his feet. He was bursting with strange feelings, unpleasant, stabbing. On the one hand, everything was fine - Thom wasn't in pain, he would be able to calmly go down and reach the ship, the blood on the burn had already thickened. On the other hand, Jonny realized, only now, that Thom, standing in front of him, was not capable of feeling anything at all. No joy. No pain, neither physical nor moral. Nothing. Maybe because of the respirator, or maybe because of the realization, Jonny found it difficult to breathe. It was useless. He had hoped for something in vain. Thom was not alive, just a robot, just an android. He would never smile at Jonny, he would never wipe away his tears if his fingers were pinched by the heavy metal door of the cabin, he would never take Jonny's hand, he would never be able to love him. Jonny felt his head begin to spin, his legs go numb. He sank heavily to the ground, holding his head in his hands, almost tugging at his hair, clutching it with his fingers.
- Jonny, are you feeling bad? Did I upset you? - Thom's voice was heard, approaching Jonny. He wasn't even limping.
Jonny was breathing noisily, he realized that he was emotionally sick from the new Thom, he really was sick.
- Let's go, Thom.
- M?
- I said let's go down. We need to take the canister to the ship - Jonny got up from the ground, shook himself off and went to the tube, putting it upright so that the droplets of liquid would roll down and he could collect it back. Unhooking the lever and rolling up the tube, he casually shoved them into his backpack, taking the heavy canister (fortunately it was thicker than it looked and treated with tantalum on the outside, due to which it did not burn his hands).
- I can carry it, Jonny - Thom suggested, approaching the younger one.
- No need. Let's go - Jonny, slightly wincing from the weight of the canister, took it more comfortably, approaching the steps and starting to go down. Thom followed him.

They went down in silence. Jonny dragged the heavy canister with difficulty, stepping on the last stone relief, feeling the rocky ground under his feet. Thom understood that Jonny's behavior had changed, but did not understand why. Jonny pulled off his mask, leaving it hanging around his neck, while breathing heavily, he walked forward. He no longer turned around to look at Thom, did not try to talk to him.

So they walked the first kilometer. In complete silence, broken only by the crunch of stones underfoot and Jonny's breathing.
- Do your legs hurt, Jonny?
- No.

They walked on. 800 meters left.

- I can carry the canister, Jonny
- No need.

625 meters left.

- Should I take off my mask, Jonny?
- Take it off. I don't know, it makes no difference to me.

305 meters

- I can carry the backpack, Jonny.
- No need.

73 meters

- I can carry the canister.
- It`s fine.

25 meters

- Is there anything I can do to help you, Jonny?
- Everything is okay.

5 meters

- Are you okay, Jonny?
Jonny froze in place, putting the canister down with a heavy thud. The ship was standing with the ladder down. Jonny turned sharply to Thom, seeing the same calm, but slightly uncomprehending look. Thom slightly tilted his head to the side, damn, his habit. Jonny came closer to Thom, literally drilling him with his gaze, slowly saying
- I don't need anything from you, Thom. I'm completely fine. As soon as we get on the ship, you go to the workshop and stand on the charge panel. Do you understand?
Thom didn't answer. Or rather, he didn't know what to answer. Jonny turned around just as abruptly, taking the canister with a sigh, going to the ladder and starting to drag the canister onto the ship. Thom dragged himself after him. Having entered the ship and making sure that Thom had also entered, Jonny put the canister on the floor and closed the heavy metal door, entering the code on the panel and throwing the backpack on the floor. Thom looked at Jonny, as if expecting something. But Jonny silently went to Phil's cabin, telling him that the canister was at the exit door. Thom, as Jonny had told him, went to Ed's workshop, deciding to inspect it. Meanwhile, Phil left for the canister, going outside to refuel the ship before the flight. From the kitchen came the cheerful voices of Colin and Ed, discussing some geographical area that Colin saw on his laptop. Colin immediately jumped up from his seat upon seeing Jonny, hugging his brother from behind
-Jonny! So, how was your day? Oh, you must be really tired, buddy, come join us, we have some choco bars and...
-Leave me alone, Cozzie
The happy smile immediately disappeared from Colin's face. He slightly released Jonny from his embrace, the younger one slightly shrugged his shoulders, wanting to get to his room as soon as possible
-Jonny... did something happen?
But Jonny only quickened his pace, heading to his cabin, quickly opening the door and closing it with a slam. Ed stared at Colin in bewilderment, who returned to his chair with a puzzled and sad face
-Coz, is something wrong?
Colin stared at the table, shrugging his shoulders
-I don't know.. Jonny hasn't been like this for a long time.. he hasn't acted like this..
Ed worriedly squeezed Colin's shoulder, stroking it lightly. Suddenly, he had an idea
- Maybe something with Thom? I'll go check on him..
Colin nodded, slowly stirring his tea with a spoon, while Ed stood up, heading to his workshop. Thom was probably there.
And so it was. Thom was walking back and forth around the room, looking at various tools and blueprints scattered around. Ed walked into the workshop, seeing Thom in front of him, with a burn hole in his pants and a burn on his leg.
"Jonny was probably worried about his burn," Ed thought, approaching Thom, setting the most pleasant and positive tone of his voice
- Hey, Thom, how are you?
- Everything is fine, Ed.
- Are you sure? You have a burn on your leg..
-It doesn't hurt me.
-Got it.. -Ed wanted to approach the topic of Jonny's condition carefully, so that Thom could tell him what happened to him - How did you get burned, buddy?
-Splashes from the crater - Thom answered simply, swaying slightly from side to side
"Damn, this won't be easy.." Ed thought, looking at Thom's calmness
-Jonny must have been really scared for you.. - Ed decided to approach the question that interested him
- Mm.. yeah. He fell down, apologizing, but there was no need for that - Thom answered just as calmly
- Ohh.. apparently he was really worried about you.. Did he cry? Uh... Was he sad? - Ed corrected himself, looking at how Thom stared at him in bewilderment, remembering that he had not yet entered the concept of crying as such into Thom's database
-Yeah. I think he was sad.
Ed was starting to get a little worried. It was hard to get Thom to blab. Ed decided to sit down on the couch, inviting Thom to sit next to him.
- Okay, let's not talk about sad things. How was your expedition? Did you enjoy it at the top, apart from the incident with your leg?
Thom thought for a moment, looking at his leg.
- I don't know. Jonny told me some events that should help me remember.
Ed stared at Thom, who was swinging his legs back and forth slightly, looking at the burn.
- What do you remember, Thom?
Thom turned his head to Ed
- Mm.. a lot of. About Andromeda, about how you fixed me, and about how Jonny and I held hands.
Ed inhaled, looking at his boots. He was beginning to guess why Jonny was in such a bad mood, and it seemed that the reason for it was clearly not Thom's burn.
- Do you remember this, Thom? Can you remember?
Thom clicked his head slightly, looking down
-Yeah. Now I'll remember that.
Ed decided to ask the last question
-Thom.. Was Jonny upset after you got burned or when he told you the events?
-Jonny started acting differently from the moment I told him that the burn didn't hurt me.
That's it. Ed guessed why Jonny was so upset. He didn't see Thom as his close one, didn't see him as a living person. Ed got up from the couch with a heavy sigh, Thom followed his example
-Okay, Thom.. Let's put you on charge, huh, buddy?
Leaving Thom on the charge panel, Ed left the room. He saw Colin standing at Jonny's door, not daring to knock. Ed went up to Colin stroking his head
-I figured out what happened, Coz. Jonny just stopped hoping.
Colin nodded understandingly, lowering his head
- He must be in a really bad way right now.. I don't know if I can talk to him..
- No need, Coz, let me try? I don't think he needs any words of encouragement right now. He just needs to accept it. I'll talk to Jonny, and you wait for me in the room, okay?
Colin nodded. Ed kissed him on the top of the head and Colin went to his room, hoping that Ed would be able to get his brother to talk.

Chapter Text

- Jonny, it's Ed. Buddy, please help me with the panel, it seems to be broken..
-Ask Colin - Jonny's voice was heard muffled from behind the door
- Colin is now checking the clarity of our route, and Phil is preparing the ship for takeoff..

Yeah, Ed decided to lie a little. But he didn't see any other way to lure Jonny into opening the door

-Please, Jonny, I'll be in your debt!
He heard footsteps, the door panel lock beeped, the heavy door opened slightly. Ed immediately went inside, closing it behind him.
- You needed to..
- The panel is fine, Jonny. I came to talk. I'm sorry I fooled you a little, but as far as I understand, you wouldn't have opened it voluntarily.
Jonny, exhaling heavily, sat down on his bed, propping his head up with his hands, letting his hair cover his face.
-What did you want to talk about, Ed?.. Just not for long, please, I'm very tired..
Ed sat down on a small stool opposite Jonny's bed, trying to see Jonny's eyes through his bangs.
-Listen, Jonny, we can all see that something is wrong with you. Today, you came in as if all the life had been sucked out of you. I understand that the situation with Thom worries you, and..
-Are you serious, Ed? - Jonny raised his head irritably, looking at Ed - If we're talking about Thom, then I don't want to continue this conversation
- Jonny, listen. I understand your sadness, I understand your pain, your anger. Colin is very worried about you, he can't find peace. I understand that you blame fate, I understand that you blame yourself, but please, Jonny, don't..
- What do you understand, Ed? - Jonny took his hands away from his head, straightening up - why are you trying to have this confession with me now, I'm tired, Ed, please go away..
- I know you loved him.
Jonny's eyes widened. He lowered his head, blushing. He felt that his most intimate and secret was revealed.
- I know how much you treasured him, Jonny, I know how much he means to you.
- That's not true.. You… You don't know..
- I know. Jonny, I know very well what it's like to love someone, believe me. I know when accidental touches feel like an electric current running through your entire body. I know how nice it is to see a smile on your lover's face, to hear his laughter, wishing that he would never stop laughing. I know how painful it is to see tears on your beloved's face, wishing to take revenge on the whole world, to destroy everything that makes these tears flow. I know what it's like to be ready to die for your love, to protect it from the whole world, to be ready to do anything, just to feel your person next to you..
Jonny listened attentively to Ed, slightly shaking, nervously squeezing his knees.
- You loved him, Jonny. And I'm sure he loved you too, but unfortunately something happened that wasn't your fault.. Please don't blame yourself Jonny, it's hard for you, I know, but I, Colin and Phil are always there to support and listen to you.
- But he's there too.. - Jonny said quietly, sobbing and shaking all over - he's here, in the next room, but I can't recognize him.. he doesn't remember anything.. he doesn't feel anything.. I would so much like him to… smile at me at least once..
Jonny covered his face with his hands, loudly sobbing and crying, shaking all over. Ed immediately sat down next to him, hugging Jonny tightly, stroking his back. Jonny's hands grabbed Ed's sweater, pressing closer, crying even louder and more desperately. Ed's heart sank, he himself held back from crying, only looking at how the younger shuddered in his arms, leaving wet spots on his sweater.
- Let it out, Jonny, cry. Don't worry, we're all here, we're here for you..
They sat like that for about ten more minutes, after which Jonny said that he wanted to go to Colin. Ed went to Phil, and Jonny meanwhile went to Colin's room. Hesitantly knocking on the door, he waited, awkwardly lowering his head. Colin immediately opened the door, hugging Jonny tightly and inviting him inside. So they sat for the rest of the evening, crying a little, but by nightfall Jonny fell asleep like a baby, sprawled exhausted on Colin's bed. Kissing his brother on the forehead, Colin went to the kitchen, deciding to check the cleanliness of the route on the laptop.
At night, Ed decided to work on Thom a little. Having taken out the inclusion card from him, Ed decided to work on Thom's emotions. He hoped to "teach" him to be sad and happy, as well as save his leg from the burn. Ed spent the whole night finalizing Thom, while the ship, slowly rocking, flew over the endless space. Phil, having slept during the day, felt quite cheerful, and the route was simply perfect. Clean, not a single pebble.

Sleepily rubbing his eyes, Jonny got up from the bed, realizing that he had fallen asleep at Colin's. Getting up, Jonny went to the kitchen, hearing cheerful chatter. So, Colin's voice, and here comes Phil's laughter and... wait. It can't be.
Jonny literally burst into the kitchen, looking at the three sitting at the table. Colin, waving to his brother, saying "good morning", Phil cutting himself a piece of bread and... Thom. Sitting and smiling, turning his head to Jonny.
- He's smiling.. - Jonny blurted out as he stood there dumbfounded, looking at Thom with eyes the size of plates
- You're a smart one, Jonny - Phil chuckled, spreading a piece of butter on his toast - Ed had to work on it a bit, but as you can see..
Jonny stared at Thom's face, not taking his eyes off him. There was a smile on his face. A real, sincere smile. Thom's smile. He quickly walked up to Thom, hugging him tightly, unable to contain his joy. God, Ed is the best.
- Forgive me.. - Jonny whispered to Thom, who sat motionless. His face became slightly confused again - I'm sorry, for being such a jerk yesterday..
Thom's arms hesitantly hugged Jonny back, making him flinch.
- It's okay, Jonny. The burn is gone.
Thom released Jonny from his embrace and pulled up his trouser leg, showing Jonny a leg with a neatly sewn eco-leather patch. Jonny's eyes widened, ready to write a ballad about Ed.
-Sit down and have breakfast, Jonny, it'll get cold soon,- Colin suggested, handing Jonny a plate of scrambled eggs. Jonny sat down at the table, not hiding his smile. This was his best morning.

Chapter Text

The ship arrived at S-558900, a nice, calm planet. It was a little cold here, the whole planet was covered with a white salt coating, reminiscent of snow, but it was incredibly beautiful. It was completely rocky, gray. pointed mountains covered this planet, incredibly high. They were also covered with this fluffy white coating, decorating their tops. Phil really liked this place, here he felt incredible peace and a little melancholy. The most beautiful thing about this planet was that if you go further, you could find a hot salt spring. It looks like a pond, with a pinkish rocky bottom. The steam from this spring is good for the lungs, and also very calming. Usually, after difficult expeditions, the guys went here to restore their bodies and properly relax their muscles and mind. Colin woke Ed, of course, he did not get enough sleep, but he really wanted to go to the spring. Everyone gathered, putting on jackets and flip- flops. Phil put the towels in the backpack and threw it over his shoulders. Jonny took one of his jackets, putting it on Thom. Thom did not understand why it was necessary, but decided not to object. They left the ship, heading along a familiar route straight to the treasured spring.
- Can Thom swim, Ed? - Phil asked - will he not... crack or explode there by accident?
- In fact, he can swim. All the mechanical components are inside, and on the outside he is an ordinary Thom made of flesh and skin. So, this swimming, of course, will not heal his lungs, but at least he will not stand alone on the sidelines.
- Ooh, okay - Phil answered, turning to Jonny and Thom, who were walking a little behind everyone - Look how happy you made him - Phil whispered to Ed with a smile, seeing how Jonny was animatedly telling Thom something while he walked silently, but attentively listening.
Jonny was telling Thom about the spring. About all its useful properties, about its depth and location. Thom tried hard to remember every word. About twenty minutes later they finally got there. Colin and Ed immediately threw off their jackets, undressing. Left in their swimming trunks, they grabbed each other's hands and, at full speed, screaming, jumped into the water. The pound was not very deep, but they jumped carefully, bending their legs. Phil threw his backpack on the ground and also undressed, but went into the water slowly, enjoying the feeling of warm water enveloping his body. Jonny, having taken off all his clothes except his swimming trunks, turned to Thom, waiting for him, but Thom hesitated. He dealt with the pants fine, remaining in his underwear, he also threw his jacket on the ground, but the shirt... Thom nervously picked at the buttons with his fingers, trying to unbutton them, but they kept slipping from his fingers. Jonny came closer, noticing the problem
-Thom, can I help you?
-Mm.. The buttons won't give in... - Thom said slightly guiltily, continuing to tug them one by one, making a slight cracking sound in his fingers. Jonny carefully removed Thom's hands from the buttons, starting to unbutton them himself. Thom obediently froze, watching the movements of Jonny's fingers, memorizing how to do it.
- That's it, - Jonny said, finishing with the last button. He carefully pulled the shirt off Thom's shoulders, putting it on the ground. Suddenly, Jonny felt strange. Thom's body was the same, only a couple of new stitches and scars were added. On his chest, in the area of the heart, there was another patch of eco-leather, as if some detail or something else was hidden behind it. The skin was just as pale, in the chest and stomach area there was a little light hair. Pronounced collarbones, a smooth curve of the waist...
- Thank you, Jonny - Thom smiled lightly. Jonny immediately blushed deeply, realizing that he literally undressed Thom and was now staring at his body. Oh, how embarrassing..

- Jonny! Come here, the water is amazing! - Colin's scream was heard, who was splashing around in the water with Ed, while Phil, closing his eyes, leaning on his elbows on the rocky edge, enjoyed the warmth of the spring.
- Let's go, Jonny? Colin is calling us, - Thom slightly stepped aside, holding out his hand to Jonny. Jonny's eyes widened, looking at the small hand in front of him
-Thom, what are you..
- You told me about how we held hands. You said it was nice and pleasant, that people expressed love and affection this way. Holding hands is good, did I remember correctly? - Thom tilted his head slightly to the side, while Jonny's cheeks turned pink
- Ye.. yes, Thom.. It's good.. - he hesitantly extended his hand, covering Thom's palm with it. Jonny missed this, missed these touches. His heart was ready to burst, from the fact that Thom himself invited him to hold hands. Jonny excitedly intertwined their fingers, his whole body immediately filled with warmth, a pleasant tickling feeling appeared in his stomach. They approached the source, looking into a light white haze. Phil seemed to doze off. Ed and Colin were floating at the opposite end of the healing pool, chatting happily and splashing around in the water. Jonny stepped into the water, looking at Thom, who was hesitating.
- Don't worry, let's go into the water, it's very warm, - Jonny smiled softly, not letting go of Thom's hand. Thom, although hesitantly, followed next to Jonny, gradually plunging into the water. It was unusual, but Thom physically did not particularly feel anything from the water, unlike Jonny, who slightly opened his mouth in pleasure, feeling how the warm water pleasantly warmed his body. With Thom's hand in his hand, this feeling was even more blissful. Having entered the water at about the level of his stomach, Jonny exhaled blissfully, relaxing, while Thom stood in place, not moving.
- Thom, is everything okay? Do you want to swim?
- I don't know how to do it
- Oh.. - Jonny was slightly confused. Thom knew how to swim before, but it looks like Ed hasn't added that skill to him yet.
- Let me help you.. - Jonny took both of Thom's hands in his own, gently squeezing them. He began to slowly go deeper, plunging into the water up to his chest. Thom hesitantly but obediently followed Jonny, looking at the pinkish bottom of the spring under his feet.
-That's it, well done, Thom.. A little deeper..
Thom took a few more steps forward, feeling the water cover his shoulders. Jonny did not let go of his hands, smiling warmly.
- See? Nothing to worry about, just water.
- Mm.. it`s nice..
- Mm?
- You're right, Jonny. Holding hands is nice.
Jonny felt like he was in a dream. Today everything was happening differently, it was a wonderful day. They arrived in a beautiful and quiet place, no worries. Phil was quietly snoring in the warm water, Ed and Colin were splashing around merrily somewhere behind, and he and Thom were holding hands. Jonny felt that feeling again, inside his chest, warm and exciting. Suddenly he was doused with water, Jonny shuddered in surprise, letting go of Thom's hands. It was Colin, laughing and splashing water on his brother. Jonny immediately turned to his brother, splashing him back, while Colin, still laughing, covered his face with his hands. Ed swam up to Thom, looking at his uncomprehending comrade
- They're having fun, Thom, they're playing like that. It's good.
Thom watched as Jonny laughed, falling into the water and grabbing Colin with him. A smile appeared on his face.
- Is it good? Fun?
- Yes, Thom, it's.. - Ed didn't have time to finish, when suddenly a stream of water doused him too. He turned around in surprise to see Thom standing there, chuckling and splashing Ed again
- Oh, you.. – Ed smiled and slapped the water hard, causing splashes to fly around, causing Thom to laugh even harder. Jonny and Colin stopped trying to pull each other to the bottom, looking at Thom and Ed. Their eyes widened, Jonny, breathing heavily, watched Thom awkwardly cover his face with both hands, trying to hide from the water splashes, still laughing. Colin looked at his brother, happy with all his heart that he finally saw Jonny happy.
- Look how happy he is- Colin said, seeing Thom also slap the water, now forcing Ed to cover his face from the splashes.
- Yeah.. – Jonny answered, not taking his eyes off Thom. He hadn't seen him like this for so long, so joyful, so carefree. So alive.

After swimming a little more, they decided to get out on the shore (except Phil, they decided not to wake him up, let him rest). Their bodies were so warm that it was not cold at all. Colin and Ed took towels out of the backpack and threw them over their shoulders. They decided to walk along the shore. Colin liked it, he liked to find various salt crystals and show them to Ed. Jonny, meanwhile, was sitting on the shore and looking at the white steam swirling on the water surface. Thom came up to him, looking with interest at how small drops of water flowed from Jonny's wet hair, and because of the temperature difference, steam rose from his body.
- You're burning, Jonny
- What? - Jonny looked at himself in fear, realizing what Thom was talking about and laughed
- No, Thom, it's steam. Because my body heated up in the water. Sit with me - Jonny suggested and Thom sat down next to him, looking where Jonny was looking. The steam was beautifully dissolving in the air, the water surface was motionless.
- Are you okay, Jonny?
Jonny turned his head to Thom, unable to contain his joy through a smile
- Yes, I feel very good... thank you, Thom
- For what?
- I feel good because you're next to me- belatedly realizing what he had just said, Jonny blushed slightly, letting the damp strands cover his eyes.
- Would you like to hold hands, Jonny? - Thom bowed his head, looking at Jonny. He remembered that holding hands is a good action, a pleasant action.
Jonny blushed even more, looking away slightly in embarrassment. He nodded, feeling Thom's palm cover his own. As Ed had told him, it felt like his body was being pierced by small electric charges. His stomach twisted pleasantly, his chest filled with warmth again. Jonny felt like he was about to boil like a kettle.
Suddenly something happened that made Jonny ready to explode. Thom laid his head on Jonny's shoulder, looking into the distance at the water. Jonny shook slightly, his cheeks turned red, his hand squeezed Thom's hand tighter. Thom was breathing very quietly (Ed said that breathing for Thom literally serves as ventilation for his body), but Jonny could feel his breath on his skin, which made it covered in goosebumps. He hesitantly and very slightly turned his head, looking at Thom's face. His eyelids were relaxed, his gaze was directed at the source, long light eyelashes fluttering slightly. Jonny barely breathed, admiring Thom, he was ready to admire him forever. He wanted to hold Thom closer, run his hand through his spiky wet hair, feel his warm breath on his neck. Jonny swallowed loudly, thinking about it. He would hug Thom, running his fingers over his wet back, he would kiss Thom, very carefully, lightly touching his lips to Thom's. Oh God. It was too much. Heat spread through Jonny's body when he felt a familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach. Oh no...
- I liked the water. It was fun - Thom said, not changing his position. Jonny shuddered slightly in surprise, coming out of his thoughts.
- Huh? Oh, yeah, it was a lot of fun.. - he mumbled, nervously removing wet strands of hair from his face. His heart was ready to jump out of his chest, Jonny shamefully felt like an absurd teenager, shaking from any touch of his love object to him. As you might guess, Jonny's body betrayed him, he was ready to jump into the water and sit in it so that no one would see his shame.
-Jonny, is everything okay? - Thom slightly turned his head towards Jonny, looking into worried brown eyes
-Uh... yeah, everything is okay..
-You're shaking. Are you cold?
-No, Thom, it`s fine.. - Thom's questions made Jonny worry even more, and the heat in his body filled his chest with a suffocating wave. He needed to hide from those attentive blue eyes. Immediately.
-Um... Thom, sit here for a while, I need to leave for a while, okay?.. - Thom lazily moved away from Jonny, allowing him to stand up
-Okay, Jonny
Jonny quickly walked, almost running, towards one of the rocks, behind the ledge of which he could hide. Having reached the shelter, Jonny sank heavily to the ground, covering his burning face with his hands. He finally had the chance to be alone with Thom, and he had so stupidly missed it. Jonny looked at his swimming trunks, shamefully revealing the arousal that had betrayed him.
"How embarrassing.." Jonny thought. Stupid thoughts, stupid physical reactions of the body. There was no point in trying to get rid of it on his own, especially knowing that Colin and Ed were walking somewhere nearby, and Thom was waiting for him on the shore, so Jonny decided to wait until it passed on its own.

Meanwhile, Colin and Ed walked along the shore, finding Thom sitting on the rocky surface
- Oh, Thom, you're here. Where's Jonny? - Colin asked, looking around slightly
- He said that he needed to leave for a while
- Oh, I see. Probably to the toilet.. - Colin thought, looking at Ed, who shrugged his shoulders - Ed and I will go to the ship for now, okay?
Thom nodded, watching as Ed and Colin picked up their jackets from the ground and walked forward, heading towards the ship. Jonny still hadn't returned, but Thom figured that was okay and he should wait a little longer.

Ed and Colin walked onto the ship, closing the door with the panel.
- Phew, my hair is still wet.. - Colin breathed out, hanging his jacket on the common hanger
- You're even more handsome like this - Ed said, already hanging his jacket and hugging Colin around the waist from behind - I would even say it makes you sexy
- Oh, shut up, Ed.. - Colin laughed, feeling the taller man's hands lifting him up, catching him under his legs. Ed dragged Colin into his room (since it was obviously cleaner than Ed's workshop), laying Colin on the bed and hovering over him. They hadn't been intimate for a long time, lately they had been on edge, worrying about Thom and Jonny, but now things were starting to improve, making the worries recede. Ed's lips, gently but persistently covered Colin's smiling lips, kissing him with desire. Colin's arms wrapped around Ed's back, stroking it and pulling Ed closer to him
- I missed this.. - Ed breathed out, through the kiss - I missed you..
- Me too.. - Colin smiled, pulling Ed even harder, allowing Ed to kiss him more persistently and passionately. They lay down next to each other, not breaking the kiss, stroking each other's half-naked bodies. Colin's hand teasingly crawled down Ed's thigh, touching it through his swimming trunks, to which Ed sighed hotly.
- Take off these stupid swimming trunks.. they piss me off - Colin whispered demandingly, stroking Ed more persistently
- They're not stupid.. these are professional sports swimming trunks.. - Ed breathed out, continuing to try to kiss Colin's entire face
- They still piss me off - Colin ran his hand under Ed's swimming trunks, making him groan. He shuddered slightly, pushing into Colin's skillful hand, which caressed him with leisurely movements up and down. Ed also touched Colin by touch, earning an excited sigh. Colin let go of Ed, taking off his swimming trunks, Ed did the same, almost jerking them off. Their hands intertwined again, touching each other, stroking and squeezing.
- I want you.. I really want you, Cozzie.. - Ed breathed out, pushing into Colin's hand harder
- Not today.. - Colin answered quietly, starting to work his hand a little faster, squeezing the tip with his thumb, smearing the sticky precum - the guys can come back...
Ed pushed his hips a little harder, sighing in disappointment. He took both of their cocks in his hand, starting to pump them up and down, causing Colin to close his eyes with a quiet moan
- Please.. Cozzie.. – Ed squeezed a little harder, causing Colin to open his mouth, breathing heavily
- N.. no.. we won’t have time.. – Colin mumbled, moaning, stroking Ed’s hand – we’ll still have time.. we.. ah!.. we’ve done everything necessary and now.. the expeditions will be.. mm.. not difficult.. Phil sleeps during the day anyway, and.. Jonny and Thom will probably go.. mmh.. somewhere on a sortie.. fuck, Ed, don’t stop..
Ed’s hand began to work faster, stroking and picking up the pace. Colin was no longer embarrassed by moans, while Ed was breathing heavily, moaning hoarsely. His palm became wet, he knew that Colin was close. Their bodies missed touching each other too much.
-Mmh..don't stop.. - Colin breathed out and Ed pressed his lips to Colin's, merging them in a wet and insistent kiss. Their tongues greedily intertwined, they were short of breath. Colin moaned right into the kiss, making Ed's lower abdomen clench blissfully. His hand worked in a steady rhythm, Ed felt Colin's hips tremble slightly, and his sighs became more and more ragged
-Fuck, Ed, I'm gonna.. - Colin moaned, pushing harder into Ed's hand
-I love you so much, Cozzie.. so much.. - from these words, Colin's eyes closed blissfully and he came with a loud moan, tightly squeezing Ed's forearm. Ed couldn't hold back, watching how Colin's kissed, wet lips parted, long dark eyelashes fluttered, and his cheeks became even more rosy. Ed finished next, kissing Colin while Colin's arms wrapped tightly around Ed's back, lightly pressing his nails into the skin.

After catching their breath, they reluctantly decided to get dressed, at least T-shirts and underwear, in case someone came. They lay down together, enjoying each other's embrace, when suddenly they heard the heavy sound of the front door. Judging by the lazy, sleepy footsteps, it was Phil. Colin smiled and muttered
- I told you we wouldn't have made it in time..

Chapter Text

Jonny decided that he had been sitting there for a long time, hiding behind the rock, and besides, Thom was probably tired of waiting for him. Getting up from the ground and shaking off the fine rock dust, Jonny headed back to the shore. Shame was still sitting somewhere deep in his chest, squeezing it unpleasantly. But embarrassment was also added to it, that same slight embarrassment from the feeling of needing touch, hugs, warmth next to him. Having reached the shore, Jonny discovered that Thom was still sitting alone on the rocky surface, looking at the thick white vapors emanating from the water's surface. Hearing footsteps, Thom turned around, noticing Jonny's silhouette, and waved at him, comically and childishly waving his palm left and right. Jonny waved uncertainly back to Thom, coming closer and sitting down next to him.
"Sorry I'm so late, Thom.. Has Colin returned yet?"
"He and Ed went back to the ship. Phil left too," Thom answered, turning his head towards the source again.
"Oh, okay.." Jonny felt strange, a dissonance of feelings and thoughts. On the one hand, he was calmed and even glad that he was alone with Thom. On the other hand, it scared him, Jonny understood that now he would sit next to Thom like a shy girl, hiding his embarrassment behind his hair. He had absolutely no idea what to do. Today they were not going on any sorties, there was no need to rush anywhere. The voice inside Jonny, the desperate voice of his long-languished feelings, which he tried hard to hide, desperately asked Jonny to act. To tell Thom these three words and hope for the best. And if it didn't get better? What if his confession would destroy everything that had just begun to improve. Thom, of course, is unlikely to start avoiding Jonny, but Jonny will definitely not dare to look Thom in the eyes. A terrible, terrible feeling. Fear of the unknown, fear of losing everything he had now. And even more so, will Thom be able to understand him? The worst thing would be to receive a puzzled look from Thom in response to a confession. It would be a shame.
"Jonny?" Thom's voice was heard. He was looking at Jonny carefully. Was Jonny really that deep in thought?
"Huh? Oh, sorry, I was thinking a little..." Jonny was embarrassed, not daring to look at Thom. He needed to decide whether he could commit perhaps the most fatal act in his life, or would he decide to keep everything in silence.
"Phil told me that there was a cave nearby, with flowers inside."
Jonny thought about it, remembering which cave Phil told Thom about.
Yes, if you go forward about twenty meters, there will be a depression in one of the rocks that looks like a cave. In truth, there weren't really flowers inside, but salt crystals that resembled flowers in shape (most likely Phil just didn't know how to explain it to Thom). The pointed edges of these crystals formed a spiral and overlapped each other, giving them the appearance of flower buds. Jonny, realizing what kind of cave they were talking about, looked into the distance where he remembered the cave to be.
"Yeah, it's here."
"Can you show me?"
Damn. Jonny didn't really want to go anywhere, especially now that there was nothing inside but racing thoughts and the stress churning in his stomach, but he couldn't say no to Thom. Jonny sighed and rose to his feet.
"Okay, let's go."
Thom smiled lightly and stood up from his seat, walking up to Jonny and following him. They set off along roughly the same path Colin and Ed had taken, but turned left past the first rocky outcrop. The further they walked from the spring, the cooler the air seemed. Jonny wished he had put on a jacket or at least jeans, but Thom didn't seem cold at all. He turned his head curiously, examining the new terrain around him. Jonny tried to abstract himself from his thoughts and concentrate on the path to the cave. Finally, they came to a high cliff, in which a hole was visible, the edges of which were covered with small crystals that shimmered like silver. It was necessary to climb a couple of protruding stones, and then they would be able to get inside the cave.
"Here. We need to climb up, but don't get hurt," Jonny said, remembering a second later that Thom wouldn't get hurt, but Jonny didn't want to bother Ed with patching up Thom's wounds again. Jonny climbed onto the first large rock, holding out his hand to Thom to make it easier for him to climb. That's how they got inside the cave. It was truly magical. Despite the fact that there was no vegetation inside, the crystals decorating it were beautiful. They even glowed slightly with white moonlight, beautifully reflecting in small rays on the rocky walls.
"Here we are," Jonny said, looking at Thom, who was looking at the sparkling salt crystals with interest.
"Are these flowers?" Thom asked, looking at the silvery pieces.
"They are crystals. But they look like flowers. See, they have edges like petals.."
Thom ran his finger curiously along the slightly pointed edges of one of the crystals.
"I like it," Thom said and turned to Jonny, who nodded and seemed to be lost in his thoughts again. It was true. It seemed that the whole day had been telling Jonny to act. Now he and Thom were alone, in a beautiful, quiet place, and quite romantic, considering its secrecy and the beautiful light emanating from the crystals.
"Jonny, you..."
"Thom," Jonny interrupted, coming a little closer. His lips were pressed together nervously, not daring to continue, excitement was growing inside him again, twisting in his stomach and making Jonny breathe harder and faster. Either now or never. Even if Thom did not understand him, even if he could not reciprocate, Jonny was ready for all options.
"Do you remember what I told you when we were climbing X?.. Do you remember when I told you about how we held hands and.. stuff?"
Thom listened silently, nodding.
"Well.. people don't always hold hands just like that, they express.. their feelings with it.." Jonny didn't look up, slightly shrinking his whole body, feeling his palms sweating slightly.
"Yes, I remember. You were saying that people show love this way and.."
"Do you know what love is, Thom?" the question slipped out of Jonny's mouth. He felt that he had started all this in vain.
Thom looked down, slightly clicking his body. After thinking for a few seconds, he raised his head to Jonny, uncertainly saying
"A good feeling?.."
Jonny was even more confused. There was no way out, he himself had decided to start this conversation and there was no point in retreating. Most likely, Thom would not understand anything and Jonny would have to ask Thom to forget about this conversation and not return to this topic again.
"Thom, forgive me," Jonny took a quick step forward, taking Thom's face in his hands and kissing him, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Thom's eyes widened, he was not ready for this. It was a completely light kiss, a simple touch of lips, weightless, but desperate. After a couple of seconds, Jonny pulled away, looking at Thom with frightened eyes. He regretted what he did, looking at how Thom blinked in surprise, putting his hand to his mouth. Taking a step back, Jonny grabbed his head with his hand, ready to run as far as possible, just to never see the look of those blue confused eyes.
"Jonny, I don't understand..." Thom's body clicked again, he did not stop looking questioningly at Jonny moving further away, not knowing what to do. His chest was boiling incide, a disgusting, suffocating wave of shame gripped his throat, his breathing became ragged. This was the moment he had been waiting for so long, but now... He regretted not telling his desires to shut up.
"Thom... let's forget about it..." Jonny muttered quietly, looking at his feet and blushing with disgust at himself. That's it. Now Thom would most likely start acting like before, uncomprehending and distant, and asking Ed to delete this memory from Thom's database would be too embarrassing.
"What did you do?" Thom removed his hand from his mouth, still looking at Jonny with the same curiosity and incomprehension. And what should he tell him? Explain what a kiss is and why Jonny did it? Shame.
"Thom, let's forget. Please, just forget what I did, it doesn't mean anything..." Jonny babbled desperately, rubbing his knuckles from nerves. "Let's go back..."
Suddenly Thom came closer to Jonny, who was almost shaking, slightly bowing his head.
"Is this action supposed to upset me?" Thom asked, to which Jonny felt even more ashamed
"No... yeah... I don't know. I don't know how you would react..." Jonny wanted to run to the ship and lock himself in the room. He really didn't know how Thom would react. Would he hit him? Stop talking? Or maybe even accept Jonny's feelings... no, that was too naive. Jonny didn't want to listen to Thom's questions about what had just happened, it only made him even more confused, making him blush even more shamefully.
"Thom, you have to forget all of this. I did it unconsciously, I didn't think... Oh my God…" Jonny leaned his back against the rocky wall, literally sliding down it to the floor, "Go to the ship, Thom, I'll come later"
But Thom came closer, sitting down next to Jonny. His palm gently covered Jonny's palm, causing the younger one to shudder, turning his head to look at Thom.
"But I don't want to go on the ship. I want to be here with you."
Jonny hesitantly let go of Thom's hand, crossing his arms in his lap.
"Thom, you don't understand.. This is all wrong, I shouldn't try, you won't be the same, I don't know how you would have reacted then, but you clearly wouldn't have taken my hand.." Jonny shook, everything inside twisted into a hard, prickly lump, "You would have hit me, or... or left, or.."
"How do you know?" Thom's voice sounded calmer, but even a little.. disappointed? Jonny raised his head in surprise, looking at Thom only half-turned. Indeed, how does he know..
"I..I think so.." Jonny struggled to find the words, "Thom, listen..I knew you a long time ago, back when you were different, and I'm sure you would.."
"You don't know," Thom replied, making Jonny's eyes glassy with nerves, "It didn't happen and you don't know how I would react. I know what happened to me, Jonny, you told me about it. I can forget about what you did, but I don't want to forget it."
Jonny's hands shook, tears rolled down his cheeks in thin lines, his eyes frightened, looking anywhere but at Thom. Everything seemed so wrong now, so strange. Kissing Thom was wrong, Thom's reaction was wrong, Jonny's behavior was wrong. Jonny felt stuck in a maze that he had led himself into. If that was the case, if that was happening, then there was no point in running away. Let him tell Thom now, let him be ashamed later. He would ask Ed to erase it from Thom's memory, if possible.

"I loved you, Thom.. so much.." Jonny almost whispered, "I wish that.. it could all be taken back, I don't know how to get you back, I…"
Thom listened, feeling strange quick clicks in his body
"I kissed you, Thom.. that's how people.. express love.."
"Like holding hands?"
"No.. it's.. different..." Jonny quickly wiped the tears that continued to flow with the back of his hand, "it's a more.. profound action.." Jonny didn't know how to explain. All thoughts, feelings and words were mixed together. Shame and fear. It seemed to Jonny that all the crystals, beautifully shining silver, faded, leaving him in darkness.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Thom asked, not taking his eyes off Jonny.
Jonny hesitated even more, shaking his head, unable to answer
"I don't know.. you wouldn't accept it.." Jonny sobbed, "I didn't want to lose you so stupidly.."
"Your feelings are not stupid, Jonny"
Jonny sobbed louder, shamefully wiping away his tears
"Thom, let's go back... go, I'll come later.." Jonny suggested again, shaking with tears. It would have been better if Thom had slapped him.
"Why are you driving me away?" Thom said a little sadly. Jonny looked at him, noticing something similar to longing or sadness in Thom's gaze. Thom lowered his gaze, looking at the ground, "Why did you kiss me and then drive me away.. I don't want to leave, Jonny"
Jonny stared even more intently at Thom, watching his body crack slightly.
"You didn't even ask me how I felt. Maybe I don't want to leave... maybe I don't want to hit you or run away from you."
Jonny felt a strong constriction in his chest. His heart sank, the air in his lungs became less and less, tears flowed on their own.
"Maybe I feel something too, Jonny... Maybe I liked that you kissed me."
Jonny thought he had been doused with a bucket of ice water. His whole body felt like it was pierced by small needles, especially in his chest. This can't be true.
"If you want, I can forget about it. I can forget about how we held hands. But I liked the feeling of you loving me."
"Thom..." Jonny was completely confused. He hadn't expected this. A lump of guilt stuck in his throat, preventing him from speaking.
"I can go to the ship if it makes you feel better."
"No..." Jonny whispered, hesitantly clutching Thom's elbow like a life preserver, "Don't go."
Thom turned to Jonny. And Jonny could see something in his face that he hadn't seen before. It was sadness, real sadness. It made Jonny want to cry even harder, but he tried to hold back, at least a little. In that look of slightly different, ocean-blue eyes, Jonny saw life, he saw that Thom was feeling the same pain that he was. Jonny felt Thom take his hand and bring it to his cheek, smiling wistfully. And Jonny was ready to give anything to see Thom like this. His fingers hesitantly touched the cool skin, feeling the tips of the short-cropped hair on Thom's temples. Jonny moved closer to Thom, so that their foreheads touched, closing his eyes, letting the endless tears flow. It seemed that they were taking all the pain and fear out of Jonny. He whispered endless "sorry" and "thank you", to which Thom only smiled slightly, not understanding what Jonny was apologizing and thanking him for. After sitting like that for a few more seconds, Thom pulled away slightly, running his hand over Jonny's closed eyes, wiping away the tears.
"I love you too, Jonny"
An electric charge shot through Jonny, running a hot wave along his entire body. He opened his eyes, looking at Thom in surprise, who continued to smile calmly
"Thom, but you... you don't understand..."
Thom smiled a little wider, leaving his hand on Jonny's jaw, lightly stroking
"I understand, Jonny. I remember that feeling"

Jonny felt like he died when Thom died

When Jonny heard the crash and the cut-off scream, he became scared

When Jonny saw Thom's body, half-crushed by a huge rock, he became even more scared

Jonny wanted to die when Thom died

Now, Jonny had never wanted to live so much.

His lips parted slightly, unsure of what to say. Jonny looked like a wax doll, frozen in place with his eyes and mouth wide open.
"Do you still want me to forget about it, Jonny?"
Jonny felt so stupid. All his worries were in vain, he had been driving himself into fears all this time. Thom was always there, and he only moved away from him, deep down wanting to be closer.
"No..." unable to hold back the relief that washed over him, Jonny said smiling
Thom chuckled slightly in response. It was so similar to him that Jonny began to believe that somehow, Thom was able to become the same. Even though he did not remember and did not understand some things, the way he smiled made Jonny forget about all the little things. Thom's hand stroked Jonny's face again, to which Jonny covered it with his own, pressing it to his lips. It was over, there was no point in hiding or being afraid. Thom was right there, right next to him, not going anywhere or turning away.

"Can I kiss you, Jonny?" Thom asked, to which Jonny's eyes widened again, and his cheeks immediately turned red. Everything that was happening resembled a dream. Jonny nodded uncertainly, mumbling something like "yes.. sure.. whatever you want.." scolding himself for his shyness. Thom carefully leaned forward, covering Jonny's lips in the same way Jonny had kissed him. Lightly and weightlessly. But this was enough for Jonny to go crazy from an excess of feelings. His head spun slightly, a pleasant warmth and relief spread through his chest. Happiness. Jonny felt happy. He placed Thom's palm on his cheek, squeezing it with his own, kissing Thom more desperately and wantingly. Thom didn't know how to do it right, but he parted his lips slightly, allowing Jonny to touch them closer. Thom felt Jonny's warm and slightly ragged breath on his lips, felt his palm gently rest on his cheek, stroking and lightly touching the hair behind his ear. It was a pleasant feeling, Thom liked it. If this was love, Thom liked it. He liked that Jonny loved him. After a few minutes, Jonny pulled away from Thom slightly, catching his breath. Suddenly a wave of embarrassment swept over him, (if you remembered) they were sitting in only swimming trunks, it was necessary to get dressed. And besides, the planet was getting cooler.
"Shall we go to the ship, Thom? Guys might start to worry," Jonny suggested, to which Thom nodded, removing his hand from Jonny's face and standing up, waiting for Jonny to stand up too. When they came down from the cave, Thom took Jonny's hand without even asking permission, to which Jonny squeezed Thom's hand tenderly, and they went to the ship, of course, not forgetting to pick up their jackets from the shore. Jonny finally felt happy after a long time. Even if it was Thom's second life, even if he didn't have time to confess to Thom then, but at least he could do it now. And now he didn't regret his unsuccessful kiss. Not a bit.

Chapter Text

"Where are they..." Colin paced the kitchen back and forth, wondering what Jonny and Thom were doing at the spring for so long, "maybe I should go get them?"
"Don't worry, they probably decided to go for a walk," Ed replied, but Colin still looked slightly worried
"Ed's right, they finally got to spend time together in a normal environment, not on some... mountain spitting magma," Phil supported Ed, lazily finishing his coffee
"Okay, but if they're not back in 10 minutes, I'll go get them..." Suddenly, the familiar hum of the iron front door was heard. Colin immediately ran to it, noticing Jonny and Thom, who were already hanging their jackets on the hinges.
"Thom? Jonny, are you okay?" Colin asked worriedly, but noticing the smile on Jonny's face, he immediately calmed down. Jonny came up to his brother and hugged him tightly, which even made Colin a little confused. It seemed that Jonny was literally glowing with happiness
"Everything is great" he whispered to Colin and kissed his brother on the forehead. Colin hugged Jonny back, letting out a relaxed breath. The main thing is that everything is fine. After hugging Colin for a while, Jonny looked into the kitchen. Waving to everyone, he asked where they were heading now.
"Um... to A-005311. We'll need to get some water" Phil answered, looking at his open notebook lying on the table "We're leaving in 7 minutes, so it's better to eat now, it's going to be shaky"
"I'm not hungry" Jonny answered, looking back at Thom, next to whom Colin was giggling, helping Thom take off his flip-flops. Ed quickly finished the last sips of his coffee, getting up from his seat.
"Well, I guess I'll go to bed.. Phil, wake me up if you need any help."
"It's okay, the route won't be difficult, just turbulence," Phil replied, putting his dirty mug in the dishwasher (which Ed had made, by the way).
Ed went to Colin's room, he didn't want to sleep on his not-so-comfortable couch, and Colin obviously wouldn't mind, right? Phil also got up and went to the cockpit to warm up the ship and prepare it for takeoff.
Colin walked up to Jonny, put his hands on his shoulders, and turned to Thom. "Thom, would you mind if I.. steal Jonny for a few minutes? In the meantime, you can borrow one of my T-shirts, they're in the common closet."
Thom shook his head, but agreed to the offer of a T-shirt. He and Colin were very similar in build, and they weren't that different in height, so Thom would be comfortable. Colin quickly turned the confused Jonny around and literally dragged him into Ed's room, closing the door. He pushed Jonny onto the couch, sitting down on the stool opposite him
"Well..." Colin tucked one leg in, crossing his arms and putting them on his knee "Come on, tell me"
"You could at least let me get dressed..." Jonny mumbled, looking around, searching for a towel on the couch. Colin just clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes
"I'm your brother, moron, do you think I haven't seen you in your underwear? Come on, tell me why you're so excited" Colin smiled slyly, resting his head on his hands. Jonny hesitated, his cheeks slightly pink. It seemed like there was nothing to be embarrassed about, it was Colin. But at the same time... It was Colin! He was bound to make fun of him.
As if reading his brother's mind, Colin said, "Don't worry, I won't tease you. Go ahead and tell me, I'm interested!"
"Thom and I kissed," Jonny said bluntly, fidgeting as he looked at Colin. Colin's jaw dropped and his eyes grew the size of plates. He covered his mouth with his hands, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe it
"You... How?" Colin asked, chuckling in surprise. Jonny shrugged
"Well, we went to a cave where... uh... the crystal cave. So I kissed him. Then I felt ashamed, I started crying like an idiot, and he said that everything was fine and that I was worrying for nothing and kissed me"
Colin looked at Jonny as if a Yeti or a unicorn was sitting in his place. He looked like he was trying not to cough, holding his hand over his mouth and giving Jonny a 'wait' gesture with his index finger. Jonny rolled his eyes, but still smiled at his brother's reaction.
"I'm shocked.. You just.. Ohhh... okay, can I ask you what it's like kissing a robo-Thom?"
"Well.. like a regular Thom.. Colin, what kind of questions, I don't know! It's just nice."
"Okay, I'm sorry, I just..." Colin laughed, unable to hide his surprise, "I just didn't expect it! Well, I did expect it, but... but not now!" Colin stood up from his seat, walked over to Jonny and shook his brother by the shoulders
"Do you even understand what this means?"
"I understand..." Jonny smiled slightly embarrassed
"And you were afraid for so long. See how simple it is?"
"Yeah, simple... I spent about three minutes explaining to him what a kiss is."
Colin giggled at Jonny's words, ruffling his brother's hair
"I'm glad you weren't afraid. Do you know how scared I was the first time?"
"With Ed?"
Colin nodded, looking down
"We drank his hidden bottle of whiskey and had a heart-to-heart talk. He confessed his feelings to me, and I confessed them to him. Actually, he kissed me first, or rather, he tried to, but he fell next to me because we drank too much" Colin laughed, remembering this "But then I decided to take the initiative and... that's how it happened" Colin shrugged. Jonny, laughing, nodded. A small hum and a slight shaking were heard. Apparently, Phil was already preparing for takeoff.
"It was more difficult for me..." Jonny chuckled
"But more poetic," Colin answered, heading for the door "Okay, you go get changed, and I'll go get some sleep too. My whole body is sluggish from the source"
"Okay," Jonny smiled, getting up and following Colin into the hallway. Colin went to his room, cursing at the already sleeping Ed, who was sprawled out across the entire bed. Jonny looked into the kitchen, finding Thom there, who was sitting in one of Colin's black T-shirts, swinging his legs on a chair.
"Thom, are you okay? Do you want to come up to my room?"
Thom nodded, getting up from his chair, and they went to Jonny's room. Once inside, and making sure Thom was there too, Jonny closed the door behind him.
"It's cozy in here," Thom said, looking around. Jonny smiled, opening his closet and taking out one of his t-shirts, putting it on. Too lazy to put on his shorts, Jonny lay down on the bed and held out his arms, inviting Thom to lie down next to him. Sitting down next to Jonny, Thom leaned against his chest, resting his head on Jonny's collarbone. Jonny, still embarrassed, but much less so, wrapped his arms around Thom, pulling him closer, stroking his hand through Thom's spiky hair.
"I was thinking a lot while you were with Colin," Thom said, closing his eyes.
"Mm?"
"I was thinking about how I felt when you kissed me. I think I remembered something, Jon-Jon.."
"Wait, what did you call me?.." Jonny, his eyes wide, rose slightly on his elbows, his hand stopping in Thom's hair. Thom smiled contentedly, settling himself more comfortably on Jonny's chest, feeling Jonny's heartbeat quicken in his chest
"I felt like I knew what love was a long time ago, I just didn't remember it," Thom continued, feeling Jonny's fingers in his hair relax, continuing to stroke it "you made me remember, made me feel it. I knew that I had a certain feeling for you, from which... the body clicks and everything inside sparkles.."
Jonny smiled warmly
"What an unusual description of the reaction.."
Thom also laughed a little, realizing that perhaps for Jonny it sounded unusual, but continued
"Thank you for helping me feel alive again, Jon-Jon.."
"It was you who helped me," Jonny answered, slightly lifting Thom higher to himself and kissing him sensually. Both knew that even if not in a past life, but at least in this one, they would finally be together. Forever.

The end

Chapter Text

Haha no sex with a robot for you! >:^)

Phew.. so.. that's how the story turned out. Maybe a little sappy, but I want it to end exactly like that, let them be happy hehe

Thank you so much to everyone who read it and thank you for your kudos and comments!! I will definitely try to come up with something new for you if you liked it!

once again, thank you so much, without you none of this would have happened! ;3 xoxo

(actually I wanted to leave here some of my drafts (idk why) which I did to make it easier to come up with a plot but i don't know how to put pictures here lol haha)🫣💥🔨