Chapter Text
The first word to escape Gavin’s mouth after waking up is “fuck.”
It is usually the first thing he says after he wakes up, but today it is especially fitting. The day of reaping, after all.
Gavin was really hoping this day would never come. It was foolish of him, of course, it was always going to arrive, but he almost convinced himself it was so far in the future, it could never actually reach him. It still seems surreal. He will watch two kids from his district be reaped today. Most likely, someone he knows. Maybe someone he went to school with. And then he will spend two weeks preparing them for the slaughter, knowing that they will probably die anyway. District Three isn’t exactly the unluckiest one in terms of winning the Games, but they also are nowhere close to One or Two.
He understands now, why Hank Anderson drinks. If he is going to have to watch this shitshow every year, he will probably end up the same.
What an awful vision.
He forces himself out of the bed. He knows the Peacekeepers won’t fuck around, if he doesn’t show up in time. He had seen them drag Anderson from his house in his covered in vomit pajamas enough times to know that skipping a Reaping Day is not an option. He chooses a brown turtleneck that smells like it already belongs in a laundry basket and puts it on. That’s probably his only semi elegant item of clothing, since he threw everything, Capitol gave him into the fireplace once he got back from the Winner’s Tour. It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t have to look nice. Everyone will be too focused on the tributes anyway.
He can’t force himself to eat anything. This also doesn’t matter. In a few hours he will be in a train, where they will serve all the finest Capitol specials, showing the tributes their hospitality before they send them to die. He snorts. How generous.
“Mom?” he says, entering her room. She’s already up, reading some book. On of the only things he’s grateful for, when it comes to Elijah is that he sends their mother a lot of things from the Capitol. Books. Clothes. Anxiety meds. Maybe it would help more if the fucker actually visited them sometimes, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers.
His mom is slowly starting to get better. After Gavin was reaped, she basically lost it. Even after he came back, she still was catatonic most of the time, staring at walls for hours. And nightmares, fuck, the nightmares were nasty. Reed sometimes feels like it was her, not him that got more damage from this whole situation.
Well, she’s on meds now and she is better. She even went back to healing people, making their kitchen into makeshift ambulatory, using most of Elijah’s gifts to take care of people, who can’t afford anything better.
Gavin resembles his mother way more than he ever did his father. They have same curly, brown hair and tan skin covered with freckles. A lot of people tell Gavin that his mother was a great beauty, when she was younger. He disagrees. He thinks she still is.
Cassandra smiles when she sees him.
“Gav? You’re up early?” she asks surprised and Gavin fights with himself not to swear in front of her. She doesn’t realize it’s the Reaping today.
“Yes, mom, it’s- I’m going to visit Elijah. Remember? I’m going away for few weeks.”
He purposefully phrases it like that. Not to mention the Reaping, going to Capitol, any connection to Hunger Games. He knows that if he does, she will end up panicking, begging him not to leave again. So, he goes to visit Elijah instead.
“Oh, yes, of course, silly me,” she waves her hand. “Tell him I miss him.”
“I will. I asked Tina to check on you from time to time, okay?”
“Gav, there is no need to…”
“Please, I’ll be less stressed, if I know that there’s someone watching over you,” he asks. Cassandra sighs heavily.
“Okay, but I’m only doing this for you.”
“Thank you. I need to get going soon.”
“I want you to call me as soon as you get there,” she asks. “And please, try not to do anything stupid.”
Last year I fucking stabbed three people, mom. I’m pretty sure I can survive sitting in Capitol’s apartment for two weeks.
“Of course, don’t worry,” he says and pulls her into a hug. Her woolen sweater feels nice under his hands. She hugs him back and he feels a slight discomfort creeping in. He does his best to last few more seconds and pulls back. “I need to go.”
“I love you, Gav.”
“I love you too, mom.”
He feels weirdly emotional, as he leaves the house. A year ago, he thought he would never see his mother again, that the tight hug she gave him would be the last one. He can still hear her sobbing, mourning the only person she had left.
It leaves shiver down his spine.
He lights up a cigarette as he walks down the street. The familiar sting enters his lungs, when he breathes in. On his way, he sees Tina, going into his house. He waves to her.
Tina is probably his best friend. Maybe the only one. They’ve met on the first day of school, when Gavin noticed that Tina was sitting alone during break. He tried to sit down next to her, lost balance, fell on his ass and ever since then they were friends.
Tina walks to him and gives him a pat on his shoulder. She’s one of the only people he ever talked about his problem with being touched. She reacted in the loveliest way possible – accepted it without asking questions.
“Your ma knows you’re smoking?” she asks, stealing the cigarette from him.
“If you tell her, she’ll kill me, and you will never see my Victor’s money again.”
Oh, one of the other thing he likes about Tina. She didn’t resent him like most of the District did after he won. No one would ever admit to that, but he had seen their looks, when he dared to wander into town. Maybe because of humongous amount of money he was getting from Capitol, maybe because they’ve seen him slaughter children. Hard to say which one was harder to swallow.
But not Tina. Tina never cared about things like that. She still treats him like she did a year ago. And he’s forever grateful for that.
Tina chuckles and shows him her tongue. After that she takes a drag from the cigarette and gives it back to Gavin.
“Please remember about giving her meds,” he reminds.
“I know. You wrote me a whole damn book on taking care of your mother. Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. I’m bringing cards.”
“Tina, if you’re going to get my mother into fucking gambling…”
“Gav, calm down. I’ve got it,” she assures. “Now, tell me, how are you?”
He shrugs.
“Fine?”
“Fine?” she grunts, mimicking his tone.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tina sighs, clearly not buying it. “Hey, my bitching and moaning is not going to do anything, is it? Someone will get fucking reaped today and later that person will most likely die. It won’t be me or anyone else I care about, and it has to be enough.”
Reed’s not lying. He hates to say it, but it may be the first reaping since he was twelve, when he is not scared. Elijah won’t be reaped, he already was three years ago. Gavin won’t be reaped again, it already happened last year. Tina turned nineteen in January. There is no one else he has to worry about.
“Do you think they will ask you about your Games?”
He huffs.
“I am the newest Victor, I think I will be asked about them every five minutes.”
Gavin doesn’t let it show, but he really dreads the idea. He already had to first live through the damn thing, then watch a three hour compilation on Caesar’s Flickerman stupid show, then talk about it during Victor’s Tour. He doesn’t understand why are they forcing him to relive this nightmare over and over.
Tina’s expression softens. From what Gavin knows, Tina actually watched his Games, unlike mom, who was mostly covering her eyes during whole thing.
“I’m so sorry, Gav,” she says.
“It’s fine. I will endure.”
“You shouldn’t have to en…”
“Yeah, but life is a bitch, Tina. Nothing you can do about it.” Reed interrupts, looking around, making sure they are still alone. „Listen, I should probably get going. The Reaping is going to start soon.”
Tina nods and Reed can see her eyes becoming glassy. He takes a sharp inhale.
“Tina, I’ll be okay. I’m going to be back in two weeks. Don’t worry about me.”
She nods and suddenly, she pulls his face to hers to place a kiss on the bridge of his nose, where his scar is. The touch is so sudden and quick that he barely can react to that.
When Gavin was fifteen, he and Tina tried to kiss. Everyone always assumed they would end up together, so they decided to give it ago. After an awfully awkward few seconds they discovered two things – Reed definitely thought of Tina as a sister and Tina definitely was not into boys.
So, he’s pretty sure this is not any sudden declaration of love, well, at least not a romantic one. He’s still surprised.
After that, Tina just walks into Reed’s house, clearly wiping away tears. From lack of better options, Gavin is back on his way.
If he was asked, what was the worst thing about becoming a Victor, he would definitely say it’s having Hank Anderson as your neighbor. He can’t even remember, how many times he had to drag the blacked out bastard into his home, so he wouldn’t freeze to death on the street, to drunk to walk on his own. Hank of course would then suddenly find the last drop of consciousness to fucking swing at him, usually with his fists, sometimes with a knife. Last time that happened, Reed’s instinct kicked in before his reason and in response, he broke the fucker’s hand. Since then their relationship went from cold to borderline hostile. Gavin doesn’t mind. The further Hank Anderson stays from him, the less it stinks.
But now, he feels a weird obligation to check on him. Maybe because they will need to cooperate for next few weeks. Maybe because of an old sentiment. Hank did sent him a gift during his Games after all. A thing that ultimately saved his life.
He sighs and wanders under Anderson’s door that turns out to be open.
Not like he expected otherwise, but the place reeks. Reed needs to cover his mouth and nose as he tries to locate Hank. Rooms are filled with different types of garbage – empty cans, rotting food and most importantly, bottles. Dozens of bottles laying around, a proof of Anderson’s yearslong addiction. Gavin decides that once he gets back to Three, he will throw all this trash away, cause even him can’t leave any living being in that condition.
He manages to find Hank passed out on the couch. Thankfully, there is not vomit nor any other bodily fluid, but he looks completely unconscious. His beard looks like it wasn’t trimmed for years and his greyish-blondish hair were apparently not brushed for weeks.
Reed, taught from his previous experience, is not going to try to get closer to him. Instead, he grabs a carafe of water laying around and pours it on Anderson, keeping a safe distance.
Hank, as expected, screams bloody nightmare and gets on his feet, trying to locate the intruder.
“Calm your tits, Anderson!” Gavin orders. “It’s just me.”
Anderson huffs and slides his wet hair away from his forehead.
“You fucking bastard, I should’ve let you rot in that arena!”
“Sure, next time I’ll just let Peacekeepers handle your shit” Reed spites back. “Go take a fucking shower, you don’t have much time.”
After saying that, he leaves the house. As he walks down the street, he repeats one sentence in his mind.
I will not end up like that.
***
Children of Third District are slowly gathering in the main square, their faces pale and their hands shaking.
Reed was one of the few people, who had the pleasure of seeing another District than the one they were born in. Of course, the parts he had seen during the Victor’s Tour are probably not giving him the biggest possible picture, but he still can have some ideas on how wealthy they are. And turns out, Three is not really bad. It’s not One of course, but it’s not as poor as Twelve, nor as strict as Eleven. One can live a semi decent life here without an everlasting dread of starving to death. Almost a luxury.
Some time passes. More kids join the crowd, Hank somehow manages to stumble on his place. He is, as one could expect, drunk, but at least he seems to be dressed in some proper attire. If a shirt with some flower pattern could be seen as one, of course. Reed gives him a snarl and receives a middle finger as an response.
Gavin is almost relieved, when it already starts. Their fellow Capitol Citizen, Chloe, enters the stage and starts a brief history lesson on the Great War that almost ended the world. She is dressed in a pale blue sheer dress, that is decorated with small, shiny butterflies. It looks like they are flying every time the fabric moves.
Gavin would never say it out loud, but he actually doesn’t hate Chloe. She is a nice person, as much as someone from Capitol can be nice. She’s also rather new at her job, which probably explains why she seems normal. Gavin and- and the other one, were her first tributes. She never treated them like animals to be slaughtered, like toys to be played with. He remembers how she hugged him once he was brought from the arena, sobbing into his chest. He can’t bring himself to hate her, even though he probably should.
As one could probably expect, they have to mention Gavin’s last year victory. The giant screen suddenly shows a scene he knows all too well – his last kill and he has a millisecond to turn his gaze away, fighting the urge to cover his ears as well. His heart pounds, as he hears the sounds of grapple, almost making him throw up. He digs his nails deep into his thighs. Bites his lip, until he draws blood.
You’re not there, he tries to think. You’re home. It’s okay. He’s dead. You’re not. You’re home.
He catches a glimpse of Chloe’s gaze and from that quick second he understands that she’s apologizing to her. It wasn’t her choice to show scenes from last year. He nods. He doesn’t blame her for that.
After a preaching session, she finally reaches into a bowl, picking the first card from the top. Gavin had seen reapings from other Districts and it always makes him sick how other escorts dig into the bowl, choosing their card for the longest time, prolonging the anticipation. Chloe seems to be aware that this is not a fucking lottery for those children, it is the execution and she makes it quick.
She opens the card and reads the name, clear and loud.
“Richard Williams.”
Reed swears quietly. It’s just his fucking luck.
Nines is pretty visible even in the crowd, since he is almost unnaturally tall. He has raven black hair that is slicked back, with just few rebellious pieces falling on his forehead. He looks rather nice in his buttoned, ironed shirt, as much as a freshly sentenced eighteen year old can look nice.
Of course he knows Nines. They are same age, they went to same school, sometimes even same classes. Reed mostly considered him to be terribly annoying, a know-it-all and a fucking snob, as he had his way of sending you one condescending look that you would remember for the rest of your life. But the fact that he is a pain in the ass doesn’t make the idea of watching how your classmate dies any easier.
Usually the gaze of the tributes are wandering on the crowd, somewhere between a disbelief and a prayer, that some other kid will volunteer to take their place. Reed knows this look well, it was how he looked a year before. But Nines’ eyes are set on one particular person, not moving for an inch. And a second later, Gavin realizes why.
“I volunteer as tribute!” a voice calls out from the crowd and Reed doesn’t even have to look, who it belongs to.
Connor turned sixteen this year, but he looks even younger, than that with his soft features and brown curls falling on his face, but now he appears to be wise beyond his years, calmly staring at his older brother, who he just had saved. Nines, on the other hand, looks like he is about to lose his shit. He cries out Connor’s name, as he walks to the stage, taking his place. His piercing blue eyes are wide with fear and full of tears, as he rushes after him, only to be stopped by Peacekeepers.
“Connor, don’t! Let them take me!” he shouts, but even if Connor change his mind, it’s too late. Once a volunteer calls themselves out, they cannot be renounced.
Reed realized very soon that Nines and Connor are a package deal. Apart from classes, they went anywhere together, you couldn’t spot one without the other. That obviously lead to some lovely rumors about their relationship being a bit incestuous, but no one dared to confront them with that. Mostly because Nines would probably fuck them up. He is, well, was, a captain of their school lacrosse team and from what Gavin had seen, is quite skilled with a lacrosse stick. Noone would like to be murdered with a damn lacrosse stick.
Anyways, he’s not surprised by Nines’ emotional reaction, while his younger brother is taken away from him.
Connor steps on the stage and Chloe mutters something to him, which probably are some words of encouragement.
“Would you be so kind and introduce yourself to us?” she asks after that, louder, but Nines’ screams are still louder than her.
“Connor Williams.”
His voice seems calm, but Gavin can hear it shaking.
“Well, you are a very brave man, Connor,” Chloe praises, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Nines is your brother, isn’t he?”
Connor nods.
“You must love him very much,” she adds softly, but Williams doesn’t respond. Chloe waits for the crowd to calm down and she reaches for another name.
“Maxine…”
“I volunteer!”
Oh, fuck.
Now it is Connor, who is desperately shaking his head, but he cannot stop Nines from joining him on the stage. His older brother is already walking there in a fast, confident pace, completely wasting Connor’s sacrifice.
“Shit,” Reed mutters.
“Shit,” Hank repeats.
Chloe probably wants to say the same, cause for a good few seconds, she is completely speechless. She only gathers herself together once the brothers are reunited, sending each other deadly stares.
“You are probably Richard, aren’t you?” she asks, but Nines doesn’t even bother to answer. “Well, well. Two brothers following each other into the Games, ready to protect one another. What an emotional sight. This year will be very interesting.”
Reed can feel the stress in her voice. She is shocked, just like everyone else and realizes, how fucked up this situation is. Those are the Games. There is only one winner. At least one of them will die there. This is the last time they are both in Third District.
It makes Gavin sick to his stomach.
She does some generic speech about beauty of competition, but no one is even listening to her. Everyone is staring at Williams brothers in shock.
“And may the odds be…”
She doesn’t get to finish. A voice from the crowd interrupts her.
“Hold on, just a little while longer,” it sings, the sound carrying through the square.
The tune is familiar to everyone in the District. It is an old song, mostly sang at funerals. A farewell, with a slight promise of hope. To some it’s sort of like second anthem. Other voices join in, merging into one, simple melody.
Hold on, just a little while longer
Hold on, just a little while longer
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright
Connor has tears streaming down his face. Nines nods to the crowd in a small gesture of gratitude.
Gavin doesn’t really understand, what’s happening, but he understands that this is something important. Maybe something that shouldn’t really happen, not on the transmission. He feels this knot of anxiety in his stomach that doesn’t go away until Connor and Nines are walked off the stage.
He braces himself.
It’s time to be a mentor.