Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sakusa Kiyoomi was not a germaphobe and she wasn’t as anti-social as her cousin has painted her out to be. Yes, she liked things in a particular way, preferred taking a bath before anyone else did, had to wear a mask outside and got uncomfortable when her room wasn’t organized the exact way she preferred. But the problem wasn't germs. it wasn’t even getting sick. It was the tight feeling in her chest whenever she didn’t do things that way. It was her heart rate spiking out of nowhere and her fingertips becoming sweaty. 

But there was no point in arguing that. Whenever someone called her a germaphobe, all she did was shrug it off. ‘Actually, I’m not, I just have mild to mid OCD where I get anxiety when things don’t go the way the voice in my head tells me and also struggle with Autism that my parents called a misdiagnosis instead of helping me with’ was not a great conversation opener, even she was aware of that. So, it was easier to be a ‘germaphobe’ who was anti-social, than to explain that she felt like she was going insane whenever he did something different to his usual pattern or how there were intrusive thoughts in her head telling her to do or say horrible things whenever she was talking to someone. On top of that she got irritated quite quickly. She knew it was partly because of the OCD. Conversations were harder, took more effort than they did for other people, she knew that. But she also just knew she was rather short-tempered. 

So, she was incredibly thankful that when in her first year of high school an invitation to an All-Japan Training Camp was offered to her, it was also offered to Motoya and to Tsukasa, who was arguably her only friend on the team besides her cousin. It wasn’t really that Tsukasa understood what Kiyoomi was going through, she didn’t think anyone who didn’t have the condition themselves ever could or would, but it was that she accepted her with all the flaws. She didn’t ask many questions whenever Kiyoomi had to leave situations, and she made excuses for her to other people that helped Kiyoomi not get judged as much as she probably would have deserved. 

The training camp was nerve wracking. Sleeping in giant rooms on futons next to people she didn’t know, sharing bathroom spaces with girls who probably had different hygiene standards to her and needing to try and befriend people who she had no interest in getting close to, simply because it was the ‘polite’ thing to do. She hated it.

Somewhat to her relief it had quickly been revealed that they actually were going to stay in a hotel and she only had to share a room with 3 other people instead of the giant sleepover situation Motoya had described previously. It was a much more welcome scenario.

They got separated in the room selections, so Tsukasa wasn't staying with her and Motoya, but at the very least she would have her cousin. As she had first looked at the giant list hanging in the entrance hall, she had feared they had been fully separated and she would have to get used to three complete strangers.

Room #409
Sakusa Kiyoomi
Komori Motoya
Ojiro Aran
Miya Atsumu

If Kiyoomi remembered correctly the other two were from the same school. -- in Hyogo prefecture. One of the powerhouse schools, no wonder they were here too. Maybe they tried to make sure to always put two people from one school together. She had yet to see either of them play, but she remembered seeing Ojiro in -- magazine.

“You’ll be alright?” Motoya asked, nudging her elbow against Kiyoomi’s upper arm, as they stared at the list in front of them. “Better than big sleeping halls, right?”

“Yeah,” Kiyoomi agreed, not sure to which part of the question. 

Miya and Ojiro were already in the room when they arrived. Kiyoomi let Motoya go first, her knuckles white as she gripped onto her own bag like her life depended on it. She had never shared a room with anyone but her cousin. Even in middle school when they had gone to training camps or matches, they had always had a room together without anyone else. So, she was nervous. How could she not be? The anxiety she had felt all week leading up to this day was only minimally combated by the fact that it was only two strangers and not the entire camp. 

“Oh, hi!” A voice greeted before Motoya was properly in the room and before Kiyoomi could even properly look inside. “We already claimed beds, but like if ya have a preference we can always switch and like-”

“Atsumu,” a second voice interrupted. Ojiro, Sakusa assumed, sounded a lot calmer than the other girl. Her voice was quiet, but stern, and it seemed to work great at keeping Miya in check, Kiyoomi noted. “Let them come in first.”

Motoya finally moved into the room properly, making space for her to actually see the room and step inside as well. She quickly closed the door behind her, before taking her new home for the week in properly. The room wasn’t big; there was one bunk bed and two twin beds right next to each other. Judging by the two side tables standing next to them at weird angles and the amount of dust on the floor, Kiyoomi assumed the other two had pushed the beds together, when they weren’t inherently set up like that. 

“I’m taking top bunk,” Motoya informed her, a hint of triumph in her voice that made Kiyoomi roll her eyes. Not once in her life had she ever thought getting a top bunk was a good thing, but she also didn’t dare tell her cousin that, not wanting to take her joy of winning their battle for top bunk every time. 

While both her and Motoya started setting up their beds and unpacking their bags, she tried not to pay too much attention to the other two girls. They were both pretty. Kiyoomi had known she liked women since she had been very young, something she had made peace with early on in middle school and had vowed to not tell her parents until there was absolutely no way around it. She had also vowed to herself that being into women would not be something that could ever become an issue for her while playing volleyball. She liked girls, that didn’t mean she had to like girls on her team. 

And up until that moment in time that had worked out great for her. Granted, most girls on her team were as Motoya put it ‘the absolute worst’ and as Tsukasa argued ‘straighter than the net poles’, but still. It was something, at least. Because even though she had thought Tsukasa was pretty when she had first met her half a year earlier, she had quickly pulled herself together and ignored those feelings. 

So just like she had done with Tsukasa, she could do the same with Ojiro and Miya. Yes, they were objectively pretty girls, but that didn’t mean Kiyoomi was bound to become obsessed with them. She could ignore how Miya had grinned at her when they entered the room, so genuinely it had almost given her whiplash. Or how she felt like she could still feel Ojiro’s gray eyes looking at her every single movement she made, despite knowing the other girl was precisely not looking at her, but rather at something Miya was showing her on her phone, their quiet giggles and whispers filling the room with background noise. 

Kiyoomi wondered if assuming the two were dating would be too presumptuous. Evidence she had in favor of the assumption: One, they most likely pushed their beds together to sleep closer next to each other; Two, Miya had not stopped touching Ojiro in some way or another since they had entered the room; Three, they were giggling and laughing so quietly and in tune with each other Kiyoomi was shocked they were understanding each other. Arguments against the assumption: One, Miya had offered switching beds around with the other two (even if Kiyoomi could imagine few things she would like less than sleeping in a bed someone else had already laid on); Two, she did not know the two outside of the ten minutes they had been in the same room and she didn’t like making assumptions about strangers. 

“We’re going to go get a snack from the vending machines downstairs,” Miya suddenly announced, pulling Kiyoomi out of her thoughts. “Ya want any?”

Thankfully, Motoya replied immediately. “I’m good for now, thanks though. Kiyo?”

“No, thanks,” she gave them a polite smile, hoping she would come across as not too impolite. 

Miya did a small finger salute in response, before grabbing what looked like a tiny wallet and Ojiro’s wrist and disappearing. 

The second the door fell shut behind her, Motoya spoke up, “So they’re definitely dating, right?”

Kiyoomi nodded slowly. 

“I’m not judging,” Motoya added quickly. “Just damn, they didn’t even try to like, hide it from us, huh?”

So, with the assumptions that their newest roommates were dating, and the thought that they might be the prettiest couple Kiyoomi had ever met at the back of her mind, Kiyoomi went into the rest of the day. There was a small opening event, before they were all told to switch into their workout clothes and meet up at the gym. They played a couple of practice matches, were separated into smaller groups and then did some different drills. It was fun; exciting. Kiyoomi felt like she could finally shut her brain off for a couple of hours at least. 

All until practice was over and they were instructed to do their stretches, and she watched as Miya practically begged Ojiro to help her, only for the other girl to roll her eyes but in fact help the blonde stretch. Miya complained the whole time through, something Ojiro only reacted to by pushing further and telling her she hoped Miya would actually get injured soon so she would stop complaining about this and experience real pain for once. 

So on top of being the prettiest couple Kiyoomi had met, they might also be the weirdest one. 

“So, what are your roomies like?” Tsukasa asked during dinner. They were all on their second plate already, especially Motoya who was inhaling rice at a speed Kiyoomi could barely comprehend. 

“Fine, so far,” Kiyoomi replied. It was true, their part of the room had been surprisingly clean, they didn’t overstep any boundaries and despite Miya’s initial excitement, they minded their business and didn’t try to push Kiyoomi. So, she presumed that ‘fine’ did cover the situation pretty well. 

In between the last mouthfuls of rice, Motoya added, “It’s Miya and Ojiro!”

Tsukasa hummed in response. “They were quite good during practice today. I also saw Ojiro last year; she really just keeps getting better.”

Kiyoomi didn’t know what to reply to that. Her mind was still stuck on the way Miya’s hands had lingered on Ojiro any chance she got. How Miya had been this loud and cocky presence during practice but had shut down the immediate second Ojiro had told her to calm down earlier that day. She thought about how neither of them seemed to be hiding what they were to each other. It wasn’t that Kiyoomi had never met openly queer people before, she had quite a few times. But never without her mother making a condescending comment or without being able to notice every single weird glance those couples would get. But Miya and Ojiro didn’t seem to care about those at all.

It made something in her chest ache at the thought.

“We’ll play them during nationals probably, won’t we?” Motoya asked, finally finishing the last of her food.

“Might be,” Tsukasa agreed. “Inarizaki is very good, they’re sure to make it far. So, it’s just a question of how well both our teams play and what side of the bracket we’re on.”

The conversation, thankfully, moved on from there. Kiyoomi wasn’t sure how much longer she would have been able to talk about them without shifting the conversation to their relationship. It had fully and wholly consumed her mind, and she was thankful Tsukasa and Motoya were not mentioning her quiet demeanor all of dinner. 

She returned to the dorm room not late after that. Tsukasa had asked if they wanted to join her on a walk around the neighborhood before curfew, but Kiyoomi had declined. She was tired, her mind had been buzzing non-stop since they ended practice and honestly, she couldn’t wait to take a warm bath and then lay in bed and maybe read a little. 

When she had grabbed her towels and bath lotions their dorm had been empty, but by the time she returned, Miya was laying splayed out on the makeshift double bed, yelling into her phone with an accent so strong Kiyoomi had trouble understanding her at all. 

“Oi, Samu, wait a minute,” Miya muttered into the phone, before propping herself up onto her elbows to look at Kiyoomi. “Sorry, thought the dorm woulda been empty longer.”

“I can leave,” Kiyoomi said, trying to sound as neutral as possible. She did not want to go anywhere else. The common areas were filled with people trying to make smalltalk and she didn’t want to leave the building again. 

“Nah,” Miya replied. “I can leave though, if this bothers ya.”

Kiyoomi simply shook her head, putting her things away into the small closet she had next to her bed, before sitting down and reaching for her book from the nightstand. Miya seemed to deem that answer decent enough and returned to her call. She was still talking as animated as before and her tone was definitely everything but nice, but she was a little quieter now. 

The conversation was hard to follow, partly because Kiyoomi was not at all used to her accent, and partly because she was trying hard to read her book. But five minutes in she had read a total of three sentences and only retained one of them. However, she had figured out the basics of the phone call. Miya was calling ‘Samu’, they seemed to be very close and Kiyoomi didn’t think they were actually upset with each other despite the heated conversation and the insults thrown around. But he wasn’t quite sure, reading tone had never been her strong suit, but with how Miya was laughing and seemingly unbothered playing with the strings of her hoodie, Kiyoomi assumed it would most likely be fine. 

“Yeah, yeh, fuck ya too,” Miya said eventually. “Right, I’ll call Ma tomorrow and I’ll text ya or whatever. Bye, Samu!”

And suddenly Kiyoomi couldn’t even pretend she was still reading her book. Despite how exhausted she was and how she was pretty sure talking to Miya now was not going to be any help with that, she asked. “Is Samu your sister?”

“Huh?” 

Miya asked, sitting up and looking at Kiyoomi. Her hair was tied up now. Yellow-blonde strands were hanging into her face, and it was still slightly wet, presumably from the showers earlier. She was wearing a black hoodie and shorts that put her legs on full display. Kiyoomi was certainly not looking. “Oh, yeah. My twin, Osamu. She plays volleyball too.”

‘Why isn’t she here?’ Didn’t leave Kiyoomi’s lips. Despite being curious she was raised better than that. She knew it wasn’t the polite thing to ask in this situation. Especially because she didn’t even know Miya. 

“She's great, actually,” Miya quickly added, as if she was reading Kiyoomi’s mind. “I’m just better, I guess.”

The other girl was grinning at Kiyoomi, but there was something else in her eyes. Kiyoomi couldn’t tell if it was sadness or anger or maybe just exhaustion. Maybe it wasn’t any of that and Kiyoomi just couldn’t read Miya very well. 

“What’s with the facemasks?” Miya suddenly asked, looking at Kiyoomi as if she had been thinking about it all day. Kiyoomi figured the question was coming eventually. She had taken the mask off during practice, obviously, and she didn’t wear them in her room as she figured it was pointless to do when she wouldn’t wear it while she slept. But she had worn it everywhere else during the camp so far. 

“Not a fan of germs,” she replied. her normal response. Being a germaphobe was easier than explaining her OCD to a complete stranger.

“Oh, makes sense.”

Kiyoomi raised an eyebrow at that, as if to say ‘does it?’ but didn’t further comment on the situation. If Miya wanted to take the answer at face value and not ask any other questions, who was Kiyoomi to stop her from doing so. 

“I actually also promised to call someone else, but if it bothers ya I will-”

“It’s fine,” Kiyoomi said once again, unsure why she was doing this. She should be thrilled at the idea of Miya leaving the room to take her call. She should take the chance to finally actually read more than the introductory sentence of her chapter. Instead, she settled deeper into her pillow and watched as Miya turned around on the bed, laying on her stomach now and legs in the air. Kiyoomi purposefully kept her eyes away from exposed thighs and focused on the page in front of her. 

She liked reading, had always found it a great escape from reality and also a great way to calm down her nerves. If she was reading, her brain was dealing with that. It had always worked great.

Granted, usually the things she was distracting herself from were not in the room with her when she was reading. 

“Sunarin!” Miya yelled out, as the person on the other end of the line picked up finally. “Yeah, fuck off, will ya? Or I’m not telling ya dumbass shit!”

Miya swore a lot. That was the main thing Kiyoomi had taken from the conversations she had overheard. She swore a lot, and she was rude and abrasive and everyone she was talking to had seemed to consider it an act of love. She wondered if she talked to Ojiro like that too and made a mental note to pay attention to that for the rest of the week.

“It’s great, ya would love it, too bad ya suck,” Miya hummed. “But actually, ya should be here too, ya know? There’s this one girl from Kamomedai, no way she’s as good as ya!”

Kiyoomi noted how despite sounding just as animated and excited as when talking to her twin, Miya’s accent was a lot more dialed down now. She had no trouble understanding the blonde now. 

“Yeah, thank fuck she’s here too,” Miya said. “I think she’d kill us both and then herself if ya were here, ya know? She’s already annoyed just with me here.”

Ojiro was annoyed with Miya? Or had the other girl managed to piss off someone else already? Both seemed equally possible with how she had been acting. 

“I’ll try ta get proper Wi-Fi tomorrow and then we can video call,” Miya suddenly said, pulling her out of her thoughts. She had long given up reading the book in her hands. “I know ya miss seeing ma face already.”

‘Sunarin’’s response to that was so loud Kiyoomi could hear it all the way to her bed, even if she couldn’t understand it properly. All she heard was a very loud ‘Fuck’ and something that sounded like laughter. Miya was laughing too, a light blush on her face. She was staring at her own nails, seemingly oblivious to Kiyoomi looking at her. 

“Right, right,” Miya eventually said. “Yeah, tell ya Ma ‘hi’, will ya? And remember to ask if she’s actually chill with me visiting next week?”

Kiyoomi was surprised at those words. She had assumed Miya was talking to someone from her club, maybe a close friend. But this now implied she was instead talking to someone who lived far enough away for Miya to visit during winter break. 

“Love ya,” Miya chuckled, grinning brightly, but her blush was spreading even wider. “Bye.”

Kiyoomi quickly returned her eyes to her book in front of her. That conversation was so different to the one she had overheard between Miya and her twin; she was unsure what to do with this knowledge. She assumed it was a friend of Miya’s, but the bright smile and very obvious blush implied the possibility of something else. She wondered if she was reading this entirely wrong or if she and Motoya had just jumped to conclusions about Miya and Ojiro too quickly. Maybe they weren’t dating after all, maybe they were just comfortable with each other and that was it. 

“Sorry about that,” Miya said, turning over to look at Kiyoomi properly. “I’ll find somewhere else to call people tomorrow.”

“It’s fine, I’m good at concentrating while reading.”

That wasn’t a lie, she was great at that even. It had never been a problem before; it was why she was top of most of her classes while also being able to put a lot of energy into volleyball. Just, not right now. Not when her newest obsession in the form of whatever was going on with Miya and Ojiro had taken over her mind and was right in front of her while she was reading. Not, when she was trying to puzzle together pieces, she hadn’t even gathered yet.

“Lucky ya,” Miya hummed. “My concentration’s shit, Aran has to help me with like all my homework, it sucks!”

Kiyoomi only hummed in response to that, but she kept her eyes on the blonde. She wasn’t sure what to say to that. Part of her wondered if asking if she was dating Ojiro would be too impolite or overstepping a boundary. She figured probably, otherwise her cousin would have already done exactly that. 

“What ya reading?”

She lifted the book to show it to Atsumu. The blonde raised an eyebrow but otherwise just looked at her, waiting for a proper answer.

“It’s a crime novel,” Kiyoomi said. 

“Hm, I have never gotten into those,” Miya replied. “Sunarin, who I was talking to, though, she loves them.”

“Is she on your team?” Kiyoomi couldn't help but asking. The voices in her head were getting louder again and she figured maybe by answering some of the questions she had now, she could preemptively keep her brain quiet. 

Miya nodded immediately, and as if reading Kiyoomi’s thoughts added, “She’s not from Hyogo though, so she’s with her family over the break.”

Kiyoomi wondered if the blonde was just that good at reading Kiyoomi, while she herself had struggled to read Miya all day, of if Miya just liked talking about herself so much that it caused her to answer a bunch of the questions Kiyoomi had before she event asked them. Truely, it could be both.

Before she could ask any other questions, their door opened again and both Ojiro and her cousin walked in, talking about some fight two girls from Sendai had down at the vending machines. Miya immediately jumped in, asking for all the details, while grabbing Ojiro’s coke from her and drinking some. 

Motoya handed Kiyoomi a bag of crisps she had gotten. BBQ flavored. Her favorite. She whispered a quick ‘thank you’ before walking to the tiny desk they had to start eating. She ignored how Motoya was eating hers in her bed, probably getting crumbs all over it. She just prayed none of them would trickle down to her bed. 

Their eyes met and Kiyoomi glared at her, silently telling her ‘if they do, I’m killing you’. Motoya grinned in response. 

“Oh, by the way,” Miya said, turning to Ojiro. Kiyoomi couldn’t help but also listen in. “Talked to Samu and Rin, they both said ‘hi’. And they’re insanely jealous of us, obviously.”

“Did they say that?” Ojiro responded, grinning at her girlfriend (?).

“Ha!” Miya laughed at that, pulling Ojiro’s hand into hers. “As if either of those losers would ever say that out loud.”

Ojiro too laughed at that. “Are ya still going to see Rin next week?”

“Hopefully,” Miya replied. She was smiling and the slight blush returned to her face. “She promised to ask her Ma about it again tomorrow.”

Somehow that was the end of the conversation for both of them. Ojiro smiled at the other girl softly, before they both pulled out their phones again.

Kiyoomi went to sleep not long after, or at least tried to. Her mind was reeling, wondering about whatever was going on between her two newest roommates. In the now dark room she could vaguely see Ojiro’s arm around Miya’s waist as they laid in their makeshift double bag, the light from outside illuminating them just enough for Kiyoomi to get a decent view. 

Maybe they weren’t dating. maybe they were just that comfortable with each other. Maybe they weren’t the prettiest couple Kiyoomi had ever seen, but just the prettiest best friends. A small voice in the back of her mind told her that if Miya was dating their other teammate, that meant Ojiro most likely was single. Kiyoomi pushed that thought down before it could manifest. 

Becoming completely enthralled by figuring out their relationship dynamic was one thing. She could somehow deal with that. But the thoughts in her mind whenever her eyes had been drawn to Miya’s legs or the thoughts she had ignored when she saw Ojiro’s muscles flex during practice earlier were another. She tried to ignore those. Partly because they made her feel like a pervert, something she wasn’t yet ready to unpack, and partly because it was uncharted territory. 

Interpersonal relationships had always been fascinating to Kiyoomi. She had always somewhat been obsessed with them, so while this was not that common anymore since she had become a teenager, it was something she knew how to navigate. It was something she had gotten used to during her childhood. 

She struggled falling asleep that night. 

The next day Miya did in fact find a different spot to video call who Kiyoomi had learned was Suna Rintarou, fellow first year student at Inarizaki High. Despite both Miya and Ojiro openly talking about Suna when Motoya asked, telling the cousins all about how ‘insane Rin is at volleyball’ and how ‘she has the weirdest movie taste ever’ and more ‘fun facts’, it left Kiyoomi none the wiser what her relationship to Miya, and honestly also to Ojiro was. 

That night Kiyoomi and Motoya called Motoya’s mom, told her all about how the camp was going and Motoya even told her about how they were ‘making great friends with their roommates’. In the spirit of ‘making great friends’ Kiyoomi that night dreamt of Ojiro and Miya kissing, slowly taking off their clothes and- She woke up right before it went any further. She woke up feeling horrible about it and as early as she could she quietly slipped out of the room and took a cold shower.

Miya called Suna every day of the camp. Which Kiyoomi found impressive, no matter their relationship. While the blonde clearly loved calling people, she had a clear pattern of calling her twin and her mother every second day, altering between them. At one point her and Ojiro called Osamu Miya together, and once she passed by them in a common area on a sofa, many tiny pictures on their screen as they shared headphones. Kiyoomi wondered if they were calling the entire team.

“How can one person have that many phone calls in one week?” Motoya asked, as Kiyoomi entered their dorm on the second to last night. “I’m not judging but my god, her social battery must be off the charts.”

“Better than mine, that’s for sure,” Kiyoomi replied, quickly changing into sweatpants and a loose shirt before flailing onto her bed. She remembered just the day before watching Miya throw herself at her bed wearing her leggings and tank top from practice. Despite how gross she found that, she envied the other girl in the sense that she wished she didn’t feel so grossed out every time she even thought about touching her bed in anything but leisure wear. 

“You’re doing shockingly well,” Motoya said. Kiyoomi couldn’t see her from where she was laying on her bed, but she could hear how genuine her cousin sounded. 

“I haven’t talked to anyone outside this room beside Tsukasa all week,” Kiyoomi responded. She wasn’t trying to reflect the genuine pride Motoya’s words conveyed, but she also couldn’t help but notice how really, she had barely been aware of the other players that were at the camp. 

“That’s still two more than we would have expected before the week started.”

The next day was their last full day at the camp. Instead of training the coaches had organized a tourney style competition where they all got split into teams to play each other for a final match before it was all over. 

Kiyoomi didn’t know anyone on her team personally, but she did get paired with Ushijima Wakatoshi, who if Kiyoomi remembered correctly was one of the best three aces in their age category currently. Ushijima was a year older than Kiyoomi and she had a natural confidence to her that easily made the entire team agree to let her captain their group.

For the first time since the week had started, Kiyoomi felt like she was able to actually enjoy volleyball like she had before. She was able to fully focus on the sport and let herself be consumed by the feeling of the ball in her hands and the adrenaline of the court. Ushijima was a good captain, and more importantly she didn’t ask any unnecessary questions. She was straight to the point and direct. Kiyoomi appreciated that in a person. 

“You’re very good, Sakusa.” They had just won their first match against Motoya’s team. her cousin had been staring at her with fake annoyance in her eyes, which quickly switched to shock as she saw Kiyoomi talking to the other girl. 

Conversation between Kiyoomi and Ushijima went surprisingly easy. They shared many similar interests when it came to volleyball, as well as having many of the same opinions on the match that was currently being played. Kiyoomi made sure to not mention how she was trying not to get distracted by the sight of Ojiro’s thighs or how Miya stuck her tongue out at her girlfriend (??) (the longer the week had gone on, the less sure she was, as Miya could not stop mentioning Suna in any conversation, and Ojiro did not at all seem bothered by that) from the other side of the net. 

Kiyoomi’s eyes were drawn to Tsukasa, who was standing right next to Miya. She kept glancing at the blonde, looking annoyed and rolling her eyes whenever the blonde said anything. Kiyoomi made a mental note to ask Tsukasa about it later. 

In the end, Ojiro’s team won the entire thing. Kiyoomi and Ushijima came in at a close second though, mainly thanks to the other teams still not being entirely used to both Ushijima’s stoic demeanor and Kiyoomi’s flexible wrists, giving him more chances of changing his angles while spiking. Kiyoomi didn’t intend to discredit what the rest of their team had done for their wins, but at the same time she was self-aware and confident enough to know that truly a lot of the weight had been carried by her and the captain, despite her only being a first year.

Ushijima and Kiyoomi exchanged numbers after dinner that night, Motoya still staring at her with big eyes as she watched the exchange happen in front of her. 

“It’s like two aliens mimicking human conversation,” Motoya quietly said once the two were alone walking back to their dorm. “Fascinating.”

“Shut up,” Kiyoomi replied, faking most of her annoyance. 

“Semi from Shiratorizawa said they’re doing a thing at their dorm later,” Motoya said after a moment of quiet. “We should go.”

“Should we?” Kiyoomi replied. She could figure what ‘a thing’ would entail and she couldn’t say she loved the idea of getting tipsy in a tiny room with a bunch of people she had met less than 7 days ago.

“I want to go,” Motoya corrected. “Tsukasa too. And we agreed we want you there.”

Kiyoomi sighed at that. “I’ll consider it.”

After much consideration she had decided that her initial assessment of this ‘thing’ being absolute hell would most likely be correct. She concluded that truly she would like to go to bed early, maybe actually get some reading done - she was still on chapter one of her book somehow - and then get up early tomorrow to go home and try to keep herself sane. 

And yet, she ended up sitting on the floor of Semi’s dorm, a beer and lemonade mix in her hand and a drinking game starting around her. Not too many people had shown up, surprisingly. Ushijima was there, according to her, mainly because ‘well this is my dorm’, as well as two other girls who lived there but had seemed much more excited about the plan. Miya and Ojiro were sitting next to her, Ojiro on the foot of someone’s bed, Miya sitting crisscrossed between Ojiro’s spread legs. Kiyoomi tried to ignore that. 

Her own cousin was across the room talking to a rather short girl with spiky bleached white hair. Kiyoomi was glad at least one of them was having fun. 

Tsukasa sat on her other side, a calming presence in a way. The other girl being there had always been just that for Kiyoomi, a way to help her stay grounded in crowded environments, similarly to how her cousin always did. But with Motoya very involved in a conversation, Kiyoomi entirely relied on Tsukasa next to her, keeping her stable. She knew putting it all on one person might not be the smartest choice, but she didn’t know what else to do either. 

It wasn’t her first time drinking. When she had turned 15 her father had offered her a glass of champagne, and she had been dragged to a handful of parties by Motoya since. She had never been drunk but she had been tipsy, and she surprisingly didn’t hate the feeling. She had thought at first, she would probably dislike it as how others described it, it would make her less in control of her own body. But she had yet to reach that point, instead she usually just felt a warm buzz and could shut her brain off a little more. 

“I wanna play Never Have I Ever,” someone announced, Kiyoomi wasn’t sure who. 

“Let's do it,” Semi agreed, handing out more beers to people around her. Kiyoomi wasn’t sure where she had gotten the alcohol from, but Semi was doing a great job at hosting with the limited possibilities she had in a tiny dorm at a Tokyo hostel. 

The game started with boring prompts. ‘Never Have I Ever cheated on a test’ ‘Never have I Ever confessed to a boy’ ‘Never have I Ever snuck out after curfew’. Kiyoomi didn’t mind, she took a small sip every now and then but otherwise felt mostly unbothered by the game. 

“Never Have I Ever kissed a boy,” someone said, eliciting groans from several parts of the room. Kiyoomi was surprised how few people there had actually kissed a boy before. To be fair, she hadn’t either, but she also had no interest in doing so.

“Never Have I Ever kissed a girl,” the next person said. Kiyoomi really figured she should have learned more names this week, but her entire focus had been on her two newest roommates and figuring out what was going on between them and ‘Suna’. Maybe next year.

She was pulled out of her thoughts as she saw Tsukasa take a sip of her drink from the corner of her eyes. Huh. She looked over at her friend, who was already looking back at her, smiling. Then she winked.

Kiyoomi swore she didn’t blush at that and even if she did it was because of the alcohol. Nothing else. 

She quickly looked away again, overhearing bits and pieces of the conversation next to her. She had noticed Ojiro drinking immediately as the prompt was given, but she hadn't actually seen if Miya had. But she figured that observation was kind of obsolete, as she was more than sure the blonde was into women and most definitely was either dating Ojiro or their other teammate. 

“Fuck off, Sunarin does not count,” Miya muttered, just loud enough for Kiyoomi to hear. She was giggling and her accent was heavier than usual. More like it had been when Kiyoomi had heard her calling her sister at the beginning of the week. She figured Miya was already a lot more drunk than Kiyoomi herself was. 

“Nah, Rin definitely counts,” Ojiro shit back. Her accent too was more prominent, but her voice was calmer, as if she wasn’t yet as far gone as Miya. Or maybe she was just better at hiding it. 

Kiyoomi barely slept that night. Partly because Miya was not sleeping, and she kept whispering things to try and talk to Ojiro who was more than half-asleep and not amused by her friend’s (??) constant interruptions. Motoya on the top bunk was sleeping like a rock, snoring quietly as she was unaware of Kiyoomi’s inner turmoil. 

Her goal for the week beforehand was to try and stay as calm as she possibly could, to learn some new techniques for volleyball and to learn as much about her opponents as she possibly could. She had been successful in two out of three of those, so she would count it as a win. 

Her goal for the week after the first night there had been to figure out the interpersonal dynamics in her roommates’ life. She had not at all been successful in that. Motoya had been just as confused about them, but she had also not cared at all. She had shrugged when Kiyoomi had brought it up earlier that day and simply said it was none of her business what was going on between them. Kiyoomi rolled her eyes at that, her cousin loved being in other people’s business, so clearly that wasn’t the reason. Instead Kiyoomi assumed Motoya had simply given up on figuring it out. 

“We should exchange Instagrams or something!” Miya said the next morning after breakfast as they were packing up their bags and undoing their beds. 

“Oh, I don’t have that,” Motoya said. “But I’ll give you my number, wait!”

Kiyoomi simply watched as Motoya wrote down both her and Kiyoomi’s number on a piece of paper, handing it to Miya, who immediately started typing away on her phone. Seconds later Kiyoomi’s phone buzzed in her pocket. 

“See ya next year!” Miya shouted as she and Ojiro slipped into the back of a small car taking them to the station. Ojiro waved at them and Motoya waved back, grinning brightly. Kiyoomi simply nodded at them once, before pulling her facemask up higher. 

“I’m glad you guys made some friends,” Tsukasa hummed, coming to stand next to them. 

“I wouldn’t call them that,” Kiyoomi almost instinctively said. 

She could practically feel the other two roll their eyes at her. 

Chapter Text

Room #307

Sakusa Kiyoomi 

Komori Motoya

Miya Atsumu

Abe Akira

“Miya is back,” Motoya noted, a hint of amusement in her voice. After exchanging numbers the year prior, she and Miya had texted a couple times. They had spoken to both her and Ojiro briefly at nationals and Kiyoomi herself had texted a few times, but she wouldn't say it even counted as staying in contact. She'd assumed the other girl would be back this year, but she hadn't expected them to share a room again. “Without her girlfriend this time.”

“We don't know if she and Ojiro were dating,” Kiyoomi replied. Seeing them interact at nationals, both with each other and with Suna had not helped her confusion in the slightest. Miya had been just as affectionate with both as she had been during the camp. So Kiyoomi had first assumed that maybe Miya was just like that. But she had also noted the other girl was in no way acting like that around the other team members. Sure, she seemed close to them, considering one was her literal twin sister, but she carefully kept her distance. Maybe she's dating both of them. Can she date both of them? Is that allowed?

She had left the thought there, interrupted by Tsukasa asking her what had her so distracted. So she had shook the thoughts out of her head, burying her obsession with their relationship dynamics in the back of her head and focused on winning nationals. 

They didn't win nationals. Neither did Inarizaki. ‘Onto next year,’ had been the tenor of the group when they lost the semifinal. The third years on the team seemed unamused by the situation. Kiyoomi was upset, sure, but it was also her first year and she hadn't played much. Her eyes had met Ojiro’s across the pitch. They too had lost their semi. Ojiro was sitting on a bench, Miya on one side of her, head on her shoulder. Suna was sitting on the other. 

Suna Rintarou was two things, Kiyoomi had noticed during nationals. The first was breathtakingly pretty. High cheekbones, sharp eyes and long silky brown hair. She was beautiful, Kiyoomi could not blame Miya if the other girl was actually dating her. The second was that she was shockingly talented. Kiyoomi had expected it as Inarizaki was a powerhouse school and they had purposefully scouted and recruited Suna, giving her a full ride despite her living across the country. But for a first year middle blocker, she was great. Especially considering the fact that she hadn't been invited to the All-Japan Youth Camp. 

They met again at the Inter High that same year, where Itachiyama actually advanced to the final. Inarizaki, once again failing during the semis, had apparently stayed behind to watch. Kiyoomi felt every single pair of eyes on her as she took the pitch. She tried to ignore it, tried to swallow down her nerves. 

They lost the Inter High. She didn't see Inarizaki again that year.

Over winter break she spent the first week at home. She hung out with Motoya and Tsukasa, got ahead of her schoolwork and practiced volleyball at home. The second week she had the camp coming up again. Motoya was coming with her again, however due to being in third year already, Tsukasa was no longer invited. 

“It’ll be good,” Tsukasa said, pushing a curl out of Kiyoomi’s hair. They were sitting in Tsukasa’s bedroom, revising their English tasks. “And you can just call me whenever it gets bad.”

Whenever not if. 

Kiyoomi nodded, her own hands reaching out to play with the strings on Tsukasa’s hoodie. This thing between them was still new, but Kiyoomi didn’t mind it at all. She surprisingly liked the soft touches and gentle kisses whenever it was just the two of them. No one besides Motoya knew, and Kiyoomi figured maybe that was for the best. She didn’t want the rest of the team to know, even more so didn’t want her parents to know. And Tsukasa respected that. Tsukasa had always been respectful of all of Kiyoomi’s boundaries. It was nice.

So here they were, once again stepping into the same hostel elevator, going up to the third floor to spend another week in a tiny room with Miya. 

We’re here to play volleyball. It repeated in her head like a mantra. She was here to advance in playing volleyball, to become aware of the competition and to hopefully not make the discomfort she had been feeling in her left shoulder worse. She had seen the school nurse about it, who had assured her as far as she could tell everything was fine, but advised going to an actual specialist. Motoya assumed it was all in Kiyoomi’s head. And maybe it was. Which was why she was scared to go to the doctor, only to be told it wasn’t real.

“Omi-kun! Toya-kun!” She heard Miya before she saw her. But when she did see her, her breath almost was taken away. Miya almost jumped Motoya, pulling her into an excited hug that the other girl immediately returned. However, all Kiyoomi could focus on was the bright yellow bleached hair Miya suddenly had. That was new, she did not have that at the Inter-high.

“I’m so glad we’re roomies again, I woulda been so alone otherwise,” Miya complained, finally letting go of the hug. For half a second Kiyoomi feared Miya would try hugging her too, but before she could figure out how she would feel about that, the blonde simply smiled at her, made a finger gun gesture, before properly letting them into the room. 

Their fourth roommate seemingly wasn’t there already. 

“Ya guys can take one bunk bed, if Abe wants something else, I’ll just switch with her,” Miya said. Kiyoomi doubted anyone would be interested in that, considering Miya had already fully unpacked and her bed was covered in her things. 

“Nice teddy bear,” Motoya instead said, nodding at the small white teddy laid on Miya’s pillow. It had not been there last year. 

“Oh, it’s from Aran,” Miya quickly said, a small blush on her face. “Because, ya know, she can’t be here this year so she gave me this.”

This did not help to answer any of Kiyoomi’s questions from the previous year. 

“Ughh,” Motoya groaned, letting herself fall to the floor and lean her head back against the stairs up to her bunk. “You guys promise me you won’t both be sobbing messes missing your-”

“When have I ever been a sobbing mess?” Kiyoomi responded, giving her cousin an unimpressed look. For some reason the thought of Miya knowing she had a girlfriend didn’t feel right, so she quickly had to cut her cousin off before she finished that sentence. Kiyoomi made a mental note to tell Motoya to not tell anyone later. It hadn’t been an issue so far, Motoya having connected the dots that it was better if the team didn’t know.

Kiyoomi assumed that due to Miya’s own apparent romantic adventures with not just other girls but other volleyball players, Motoya did not have the same hesitation here.

As if completely unfazed, Miya instead started talking away about all her excitement about the camp, Motoya quickly responding with all her thoughts on the matter.

There was a first year from Karasuno who Motoya was interested in. Karasuno had made it to the Inter-High that year, but they had lost so early on that neither Kiyoomi or Motoya could really watch a full event. But they reportedly were going to Nationals after beating Shiratorizawa. Which meat they had successfully beaten Ushijima. Miya seemed to share that same excitement. 

Kiyoomi thought maybe she would get a chance to ask her about how they beat Ushijima.

While the other two talked away, Kiyoomi pulled out her phone to text Tsukasa instead.

Kiyoomi: We arrived. Rooming with Miya and a new girl.

Tsukasa: have so much fun!!

Tsukasa: miya again huh?

Kiyoomi: She seems upset about Ojiro not being here.

Tsukasa: like us haha

Tsukasa: try making some more friends?

Kiyoomi: I’ll try my best.

Tsukasa: <3

Kiyoomi: I’ll text you later.

Part of her thought the texts sounded off, but she tried to ignore that. She would not let her doubts and insecurities ruin this relationship for her. 

She put her phone down and tried turning back into the conversation the others were having. Abe had started unpacking too and her and Miya were animatedly talking about what they were hoping for in this camp. Apparently Abe had been there the year prior too, and yet Kiyoomi had no memories of her whatsoever.

She watched as Miya threw one of her towels in the general vicinity of their sink, cringed as it just barely caught into the sink itself and resided there. Part of her was glad they had a small sink in their room, the benefits clear to her, but part of her was also horrified at seeing how any of her roommates treated that sink. She had become somehow decent at ignoring the implications of public shared bathrooms, as long as she didn't see others use them directly. This new situation was jeopardizing peace of mind in many ways.

“Oh, fuck, sorry, Omi,” Miya said, apparently noticing the way she had cringed at seeing that. Miya held her hands up as if to admit guilt and then quickly rushed over to fix the towel on one of the hooks there instead.

Abe looked at her a little confused. Not judging, no, but for sure confused. 

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Miya immediately said. “Omi is like a germaphobe kinda, but it’s chill.”

Abe nodded at that slowly. “I’ll try to stay as clean as possible.”

“It’s no big deal,” Kiyoomi tried saying as politely as possible, only for both Motooya and Miya to give her unamused stares. It wasn’t that it wasn’t a big deal but she didn’t want to make Abe worried about germs, when germs weren’t really the issue. 

Miya and Motoya made easy conversation with Abe after that and Kiyoomi took the time to start unpacking her bag, carefully placing items exactly where she wanted them and making sure all her shirts were sorted by color. 

-

She called Tsukasa the next afternoon, after a rough day of training, exhausting sessions trying to not overwhelm her shoulder, and a relaxing bath. It was nice to hear her girlfriend’s voice, despite it having only been two days she missed her. They talked about the camp itself for a while, Tsukasa told her her own plans for the next week, before the other girl finally asked. “So, how are your roommates? Horrible?” 

“Oh, they're fine. Abe is nice, and Miya-”

“Actually, can we not talk about Miya?” Tsukasa immediately replied, as if she hadn’t been the one who asked. Kiyoomi couldn’t quite place her tone of voice. It was why she hated phone calls, she already struggles with tones and meaning in person. Now, that she couldn’t see facial expressions, it made it even harder.

“Uh? Sure?”

“Sorry, Kiyo,” Tsukasa said, more softly now. Kiyoomi did not think she sounded sorry, but maybe she was just struggling to actually understand the situation. “It was cute last year, but now you actually have a girlfriend.”

“What are you-”

“Listen, I have to finish my homework, third year isn’t a breeze,” Tsukasa went on before Kiyoomi could even finish her question. She was so confused. “We’ll call tomorrow, alright?”

“Yeah, of course,” Kiyoomi replied. “Good luck with your work.”

“Good night, Kiyoomi,” Tsukasa said and the line ended before Kiyoomi could even respond. Kiyoomi had not felt that lost in a long time. She didn’t understand what had just happened, why Tsukasa had gotten so upset at the simple mention of Miya’s name. 

‘It was cute last year.’ She had no clue what that meant. Admittedly, she had been obsessed with both Miya and Ojiro (and by extension Suna) the year before, but she had not told anyone about it. She had been sure Motoya could sense at least some of her curiosity, but Tsukasa had seemed completely oblivious to it. Did Motoya tell her?

But even if she had, it was in the past. Kiyoomi had accepted she would never understand what was going on between the three, and had started seriously doubting they even understood themselves. 

‘But now you actually have a girlfriend.’ What did her relationship status have to do with Miya? She had heard of girls not liking when their boyfriends were friends with other women, but she had also just assumed that didn’t really apply to their situation. Tsukasa had plenty of friends, a couple of girls from the football team, some from her class, and her group from violin class her parents made her take after school. And Kiyoomi had never voiced any issue with that, even if she herself was more introverted than that. When thinking about ‘actual friends’ she honestly only really had Motoya and Tsukasa. She didn’t think Miya counted, even if the other girl had texted them a couple of times during the year and Motoya always called her their friend. 

“Ya okay?” a voice broke Kiyoomi’s thoughts. Right, other people stayed in the dorm too. She wouldn’t be alone forever. 

“Uh, yeah,” she quickly responded, trying to keep her face neutral. 

Miya raised an eyebrow at that, as if she did not believe her for one second. “Nah, ya lying. Ya don’t havta tell me what’s wrong, but I’m not letting ya wallow in ya own sorrow.”

“What are you talking about, Miya?” 

The blonde smiled in response and Kiyoomi suddenly felt scared. There was a hint of something in Miya’s eyes that screamed danger.

“Get dressed,” Miya said. “We’re going somewhere.”

“Where?” She responded. Despite herself she found herself getting off of the bed and reaching for her sweatpants and hoodie. 

“I’ll surprise ya,” Miya said, grinning still. “Don’t ya trust me, Omi? I’m offended.”

“Well, one of us actually knows this city,” Kiyoomi muttered. It was only partly true, the parts of Tokyo she was familiar with were nowhere near Itabashi. Still, she put on a face mask, her coat and a scarf. She watched as Miya pulled on a leather jacket that she doubted actually could fight off the Tokyo winter cold. 

“At least tell me where we’re going,” she muttered.

Miya rolled her eyes, and held the door open for Kiyoomi. “This park I saw, it’s really pretty.”

“Miya, we have all seen the park right next to-”

“Nah,” She replied. “It’s down by the river, has a buncha cherry blossoms and shit. Obviously they won’t be, ya know, but-”

“The river is at least half an hour away,” Kiyoomi noted. It wasn’t a complaint, she didn’t mind walking, but she was mainly confused. 

The other girl only nodded, leading Kiyoomi out of the building and around it towards the bus station. Kiyoomi quickly texted Motoya that she’d be out with Miya and to not worry about it.  Part of Kiyoomi noted the irony of hanging out with Miya to forget about having a fight with her girlfriend about Miya and whatever issues Tsukasa seemed to have with her. Kiyoomi still did not understand it at all, but she accepted it nonetheless.

“We still havta to walk like 20 minutes after the bus,” Miya pointed out, zooming on something on her phone. “But we have three hours left until curfew. So like, we can grab food at a 7/11 or something, if ya want?”

Kiyoomi only nodded in response. “Were you going to do this on your own if you hadn’t found me?”

She shrugged in response. “I was gonna ask ya and Toya-kun. Didn’t really have a plan for if ya said no.”

Kiyoomi almost laughed at that. Under normal circumstances she most definitely would not have said yes, instead choosing to get an early night's sleep or maybe call Tsukasa again. But now? Now suddenly she was glad to spend the next three hours in the freezing cold with Miya Atsumu.

The bus came not long after and Miya paid for both of them without saying anything. Kiyoomi was going to argue. She had more than enough money to pay her own bus ticket, but Miya just walked towards a set of empty seats as if nothing had happened. Kiyoomi made a mental note to pay for their dinner in compensation. 

They drove in silence for the few stations, before Miya announced it was their stop and hushed her off the bus. Guided by the gps on Miya’s phone they walked towards the park. Kiyoomi wondered how worth it it would be, considering it was dark, freezing and not cherry blossom season, but Miya was too excited for her to ruin it now. And she welcomed the distraction. 

“Ya prefer silence or want me to tell ya a story?”

“Tsukasa and I had a fight,” Kiyoomi said, quickly and without thinking too much about it. It felt nice to say out loud. “Fight might be too much but I said something wrong and now she is upset.”

“Oh,” Miya replied. Kiyoomi didn’t look up from the street, she didn't want to see her face right now. “Samu and I fight all the time. Usually because I say something wrong, so I get it, ya know?”

At that Kiyoomi did look up. Miya’s face looked softer in the glow of the street light. She seemed less guarded somehow. 

“Samu’s the worst,” Miya went on. “But so am I, and we love each other. So we always figure it out. And yeah, it fucking sucks ass for the time before we do, but in the end it’s fine, ya know?”

Kiyoomi nodded slowly. Part of her wanted to say that this was different to the fights Miya had with her twin, but she also didn’t know how to do that without outing herself. And she was not ready for that just yet. 

“I’ve never fought with her before,” Kiyoomi slowly said. “I don’t know how to act.”

Miya hummed, almost as if she had expected that answer. Kiyoomi wondered how much about their relationship Miya knew, how much she had maybe connected the dots on herself. “Well, usually I just let Samu cool down, right? Give ‘er some space until she’s ready. Other times we yell it out until we both get tired. Ya don’t seem like the yelling kind, though.”

Kiyoomi nodded at that. She hated yelling, always had. Her parents did it often, sometimes at her, mainly at each other, rarely at her sister or brother. She didn’t yell. 

“Give ‘er some time and space? And if she doesn’t come around, fuck her,” Miya finally said. “Oh, look, the 7/11.”

Somehow, despite everything, that had made Kiyoomi feel better. Somehow.

She silently followed behind Miya, who was grabbing two energy drinks off the first shelf before making her way to the instant ramen and onigiri. 

“I don’t think the ramen is smart, whatcha think? Maybe some origini and-” Miya broke herself off. “Or some pre packaged cold food?”

Kiyoomi only nodded slowly, grabbing two tuna origini and a small salad. Miya made her own way to the next aisle, leaving Kiyoomi to find her own food. Finally, she reached for a small package of pickled plums from the opposite shelf. 

When Miya emerged again she was holding some milk bread as well as two bags of candy and only one origini. 

“Healthy,” Kiyoomi commented, eyeing the other girl with skepsis in her eyes. 

“We can’t all be eating salads for dinner now, can we?” Miya replied, as if that made any sense. 

By the time all their items were scanned and Kiyooimi was paying before Miya could pull the bills out of her purse, she had realized the blonde would most likely try to argue with her about it. 

“I’ll pay ya back,” Miya insisted as Kiyoomi grabbed the bag of food they bought. 

“No you won’t,” Kiyoomi replied calmly. “You paid the bus, I paid for dinner.”

“The bus was only 250-”

“It’s fine, Miya,” She insisted. Her dad would most likely not even notice the charge to his account. He never really did. 

The park wasn’t far from there. They crossed a bridge and then they were right in the middle of snowed in cherry blossom trees and barely visibly pathways. Despite Kiyoomi knowing this would most likely look much prettier in Spring, Miya seemed absolutely in awe of it. 

“I love snow, ya know?” She hummed, quickly walking down the barely made pathway. “But it’s so different in the city.”

“I wouldn’t call Amagasaki the countryside,” Kiyoomi replied. She had never seen snow outside Tokyo. She had never seen many things outside Tokyo. She only really saw other cities when they went there for matches. 

“My ma lives right outside the city,” Atsumu explained. “Super close still, ya know, but not the city.”

Kiyoomi hummed in reply. She had always wondered what boarding school must be like for people who were from different cities, who couldn’t really go home every weekend, whose life was the dorms. 

“Do you go to see her often?”

“Oh, all the time,” she immediately replied. “Every weekend, sometimes week days. There’s a bus right outside the gym going to our village.”

She hummed in response. 

“What about ya?”

“I usually go back on weekends,” Kiyoomi replied. “I like having my own space, even if I share my dorm with Motoya.”

“I like how close ya two are,” Miya whispered, almost too quiet to hear. They sat down on a random bench, looking out at the river as Miya started unpacking their purchases. “Samu and I are close, obviously, but she’s ma twin, right? She has ta love me.”

There was some sort of hurt in her voice that Kiyoomi couldn’t quite place. She felt like today she struggled more with emotions than usual. 

“Motoya has been my best friend since we were little,” Kiyoomi chose to say. “She's more of a sister than a cousin.”

She chose not to mention how more often than not recently, Kiyoomi went to the Komori household on weekends instead of her parents. How their guest bedroom had essentially become hers. how she had brought over some decorations and clothes that were in the room permanently now. That was none of Miya’s business, even if the other girl made talking to her incredibly easy. 

After a moment, Miya turned to her. “Are ya planning on going pro?”

The question startled Kiyoomi. She would like to go pro. She also knew her parents would never let her skip university. “Not immediately. I'll have to go to uni.”

Miya raised an eyebrow at that as if to say ‘Do you?’. Kiyoomi did not feel like explaining her parents’ worldview to Miya. 

“Aran’s going pro,” she then said, voice quieter now. “She got scouted by the Falcon's.”

That did get Kiyoomi's attention. Ojiro was good. One of the greatest arguably. So it did not shock Kiyoomi at all that she was getting offers. But the Falcon's as a first team straight out of High School was so impressive Kiyoomi almost had no words.

“It's stupid, but I had this delusional hope she'd get an offer from MSBY,” Miya muttered. “I know it's not realistic but I was hoping she could go pro without moving far away. And I could always visit her in her Osaka apartment and go to her games and maybe even practice sometimes. Fucking stupid, I know.”

Kiyoomi thought for a moment, before saying, “I don't think it's stupid. If Tsukasa had decided to go pro I would have hoped she found a team in Tokyo too.”

Miya smiled at that. Her cheeks were bright red from the cold. Kiyoomi thought she looked pretty like that. And then she ignored the thought. Obviously, Miya was pretty. It didn't matter if she thought it though, she was in a happy relationship with someone she was very much in love with and who clearly had an issue with Miya. So even if she was just acknowledging a fact, it was inappropriate. So she ignored it.

“Maybe I can play for the Falcon's too after High School,” Miya chuckled. “Sunarin thinks we can easily go pro immediately.”

Kiyoomi raised an eyebrow at that. Most people she knew actually were not planning on going pro right after graduation. ‘Education is important’ being the main sentiment she had heard from other players. Not at Inarizaki apparently.

-

They made it back to the dorms 15 minutes before curfew. Abe was in the showers apparently, but Motoya was standing at the window of their room with her arms crossed.

“Do you two want to tell me where you went? I was worried sick.” She asked, eyebrows furrowing.

Kiyoomi only rolled her eyes. “I texted you.”

Motoya did not seem satisfied with that answer at all.

“We should totally go again,” Miya immediately said. “The park was so pretty, you would love it Toya!”

And just like that all tension left Motoya’s body and the two instead started talking about all the other things in Tokyo that Miya would love to see before she had to go back home.

Kiyoomi instead just got ready for bed.

-

The next morning, she had a text from Tsukasa.

Tsukasa: i’m sorry for last night, i was tired and had work today, i didn't mean to snap at you 

Kiyoomi: It is fine, I appreciate the apology.

Tsukasa: how's the camp going?

Tsukasa: and ur shoulder?

Kiyoomi: Good so far, it feels more intense than last year. My shoulder hasn't gotten worse. Motoya still thinks it's in my head.

Tsukasa: if it's not better by the end of camp, you really should see a doctor 

Kiyoomi: I will, I promise.

Kiyoomi: Do you have any plans for today?

Tsukasa: i’m meeting up with ayaka later to study, she helped me a lot last night

Kiyoomi: Good luck

Tsukasa did not respond again. Kiyoomi was also unaware she had met with Ayaka the day before. Tired. That's what she had said. Too tired to continue talking to her but not enough to not meet Ayaka to study. She chose to ignore that.

It was clear to her that Tsukasa was going through something. She just couldn't tell if Miya had been what caused it or just her breaking point. And she couldn't figure out how to ask that question nicely.

-

That night between dinner and curfew Miya took them to a different park she had found. Motoya did love it as much as Miya had predicted she would. They talked about plans of going pro, their dreams for volleyball and Miya joked about how one day they could all go to the Olympics together.

“Aran, Samu and I used to dream of it as kids,” she hummed. “We'd lay awake all night talking about winning the Olympics together.”

“Does that dream have space for more people?” Motoya asked, soft smile on her face. Kiyoomi knew Motoya loved volleyball as much as the rest of them, but her cousin never let herself dream of actually going pro. Or even the national team.

“Yeah, we let Rin in,” Miya replied, smirking at Motoya before taking another bite from her onigiri. Kiyoomi wondered how much money Miya had saved up for this camp in order to skip the free dining hall for convenience store food every night. She had refused to let Kiyoomi or Motoya pay that time, claiming it was her turn as she piled on some extra candy. Kiyoomi's comment about none of it being an appropriate dinner for three teen athletes had been promptly ignored by both of them.

“We have to meet this ‘Rin’ eventually,” Motoya pointed out. “You keep mentioning her.”

“Oh, she's a complete dickhead, you'd love her,” Miya chuckled. “Maybe we'll have time during nationals, if you guys don't get beaten first round of course.”

-

Kiyoomi: How was your day yesterday?

Tsukasa: fine, we got a lot of work done

Tsukasa: yours?

Kiyoomi: We went to a park last night after training 

Tsukasa: you and motoya?

Kiyoomi: And Miya

Tsukasa: ah

Tsukasa: i have to go, i’ll text u tomorrow 

-

They didn't go anywhere that night, too tired from practice. Instead they stayed in, Miya telling them about growing up more rural, about the fields around their houses and the stars at night. Motoya told stories of their childhood, of sleepovers when they were young and how they got into volleyball. Kiyoomi mostly listened.

-

Kiyoomi: Are we still on to call later?

Tsukasa: sorry, i can't, something came up 

Tsukasa: we'll see each other when you're back <3

-

With only two days left of the camp, Kiyoomi chose to finally approach Kageyama and ask about Karasuno's match. She did it right after having had dinner, seeing the other girl sitting at the end of the dining hall. 

“Hey,” Kiyoomi said, pushing her hands deeper into the pockets of her jacket. Her right thumb and index finger were playing with an elastic hair tie she had in there. “I haven’t seen the video yet, how did Shiratorizawa lose to you?”

Ater  moment of silence and confused looks from both Kageyama and the other girl she was with, Kiyoomi quickly added, “Was Ushijma off her game or something?”

Kageyama let out a quiet noise in response, eyebrows furrowing. Part of Kiyoomi realized how pretty the other girl was at that exact moment. Dark black hair tied back, soft facial features and sharp eyes, almost black instead of brown or gray. The bigger part of Kiyoomi was too genuinely curious how Karasuno had won that match. 

“She seemed to play just fine to me,” Kageyama then said, her expression not changing at all. The other girl next to her however looked horrified. So much for making more friendly conversation.

“Yeah?” Kiyoomi asked. “Then how do you explain the loss?”

She tried to keep her voice sounding genuinely curious, but she feared some of her upset from both the week and the fact that she wasn’t seeing Ushijima at Nationals might have slipped into her voice there. “What kind of tricks did you play? Or did someone actually stop her?”

“Honestly, yeah” Kageyama started, expression back to completely neutral and uninterested. “Someone did stop him.”

At that moment Kiyoomi’s worldview fell apart. Karasuno, a team that everyone had seen as long gone before this season, had a player who successfully blocked Ushijima. And with how Kageyama was talking, that player wasn’t her. 

“Who did? What year is she in? What’s her name? Where did she go to middle scho-”

“Ah, sorry about her,” Motoya’s voice suddenly interrupted Kiyoomi. Her cousin had seemingly appeared out of thin air, standing next to her with a big smile. “She’s just an incredibly serious pessimist, guys. If someone is ever a threat to her, she gets freaked out and she loses her mind.”

Kiyoomi was going to kill her.

“I’m not a pessimist at all,” she shot back, turning to look at her way too smug looking cousin. “I’m simply conscious.”

“Is that why you haven’t actually given a hundred percent here yet?” Kageyama suddenly asked. 

For another time in just one conversation, Kiyoomi’s worldview shattered to pieces. No one had ever been able to read her like that, especially so quickly. While Motoya was great at reading her, it always took her time and it was never about volleyball. And while Tsukasa was trying her best, there had only ever been so much she could do. And yet, Kageyama had read her like an open book within just a handful of days training together. 

“What makes you say that?” She asked instead of shooting back. She needed to know.

“It’s just a hunch,” Kageyama replied, as if that made everything make sense. As if that was a perfectly fine response to the question. “I’d say you’ve been about average here, so far.”

Kiyoomi did not want to be part of the conversation any longer. 

She knew she hadn't been at her best all camp, but ‘average’ really did feel a little harsh. To make matters worse she could hear Motoya chuckling next to her.

“Oh, she’s been convinced that there’s been something terribly wrong with her shoulders lately,” Motoya said in between small giggles. Kiyoomi was going to kill her and have to go home after the camp explaining to her dear aunt why her only daughter had been found dead. “Of course, in her case, it’s usually all in her head. That said, there's nothing wrong with being conscious, is there?”

“Bath time,” Kiyoomi simply said and turned on her heel to go to the bathrooms. 

“Already?” Motoya asked, completely dropping the other topic.

“I’m going in and out before anyone else can fill the tub with their germs.”

“Sorry to bug you guys!” Motoya shouted at Kageyama and her friend, before quickly catching up to Kiyoomi. “You okay?”

Kiyoomi nodded in response. The hair tie in her pocket snapped. She sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Motoya pushed further, but her voice was quieter now. 

“I think Tsukasa is mad at me,” Kiyoomi carefully said. She didn’t want to bother her cousin with it. Tsukasa was Motoya’s friend too, and pulling her into this felt wrong, but she also needed to confide in someone before her nerves would snap like the hair tie. And Miya did not feel like the right option even if she had been helpful that first night walking to the park.

“What makes you say that?” Motoya looked at her confused. 

Silently Kiyoomi unlocked her phone and opened the sms chat with Tsukasa to show her. She wasn’t sure if she should mention the phone call.

“Oh,” Motoya whispered. “That’s weird.”

Kiyoomi shrugged. She just wanted to take her bath and go to bed. Maybe when she woke up tomorrow everything would be fine, maybe Tsukasa would no longer be mad, or at least tell her why she was upset about Miya of all people. Maybe when she woke up her shoulder would be fine and she could actually give her all during training. Only a few days left, she could do this.

-

The next morning nothing was alright. Far from it even. Her shoulder felt worse than ever, Miya had left her dirty gym clothes from the day before on the floor and Kiyoomi was woken up by Motoya snoring. Everything was becoming too much all at once. Quietly, without waking any of the others, she changed into a pair of sweatpants and a random shirt, grabbed her jacket and made her way out of the room. She got a coffee from one of the machines on her way out before walking out the front door. Fresh air, that's what she needed.

The only other person outside was a dark haired girl smoking. Kiyoomi was pretty sure she was a wing spiker, but she could think of neither her name nor school.

“You gonna tell one me?” The girl asked. Her voice was deeper than expected. Maybe from the smoking. 

Kiyoomi simply shook her head. Even if she believed smoking when trying to become a pro athlete was stupid, she did not care what others did. It was simply none of her business.

“Want one then?” The girl asked.

Kiyoomi shook her head again. “Just here for some fresh air.”

The girl nodded slowly. “Takayama Maki.”

“Sakusa Kiyoomi,” she replied.

“I know,” Takayama replied. “You're good. Your wrists are freaky.”

Kiyoomi wasn't sure if the two sentences were meant as connected or separate statements. Either way she didn't know what exactly to respond.

“So, what brings you out here at 5:30 in the morning with black vending machine coffee, Sakusa Kiyoomi?” Takayama went on. She leaned back against the building wall, taking a drag of her cigarette. 

She shrugged. Small talk had been the exact opposite of what she had hoped for by going outside at that time. But Takayama seemed intriguing in a way. 

“Couldn't think in my room,” she replied instead, taking another sip of her coffee.

Takayama hummed in response. “I get it, my roommate is a sleep talker. At least this time in the day no one sees me out here. Well, usually.”

They stood in silence after that. While Takayama seemed significantly more extroverted than Kiyoomi, she also did not at all seem uncomfortable by silence. Not in the way Miya seemed to be a lot of times. While Miya would fill every quiet moment with nonsensical chatter and stupid questions, Takayama just kept smoking her cigarette. Sometimes Kiyoomi could feel eyes on her, but barely anything else was said. 

Kiyoomi wondered when Miya had become her standard for extroverts. When she had started comparing people she met to Miya.

She wondered if that was why Tsukasa was upset. If somehow the other girl was seeing right through Kiyoomi and was aware of her fascination with the blonde. 

‘It was cute last year.’

Was that what she had meant? Had Tsukasa read her that easily?

‘But now you actually have a girlfriend.’

That part of the conversation confused Kiyoomi so much more. Was Tsukasa misinterpreting Kiyoomi’s reaction to Miya as romantic? Did she think Kiyoomi was interested in Miya like that? It was the only way she could make sense of the sentence. But that still did not make sense to her. Kiyoomi had no romantic interest in the other girl.

Images of the dream she had last camp came back. Miya and Ojiro in Miya’s bunk bed kissing, hands on each other's bodies. 

And yet that didn't feel right. Yes, Kiyoomi had been attracted to both of them. She doubted anyone with eyes and a general interest in women hadn't been. But she had no romantic interest in Miya. She barely would consider her a friend. At least not before this week. Now, after the park and all the late nights spent talking, maybe, but not before that.

She made a promise to herself to talk to Tsukasa about this properly when they got home. If this all truly was based on Tsukasa mistaking the way Kiyoomi felt for Miya as romantic, she could fix it. She could clear that up. 

She saw Takayama grab a second cigarette, lighting it.  “Are you sure you don't want one? You look like you need one.”

Despite every part of her brain protesting against it, Kiyoomi felt her hand reach out as if on autopilot. Takayama looked shocked for a moment but quickly masked it and handed a cigarette to her, alongside the lighter.

Kiyoomi’s first cigarette was horrible. The smoke burned her lungs and she almost choked on it several times. Takayama seemed slightly amused by it but did eventually tell her how to do it properly. 

“It's cute,” the other girl said, chuckling. ‘It was cute last year’

Kiyoomi glared at her but the next drag she took did feel a lot better. Part of her had hoped it would be horrible. That she would hate every second of it and wish she had never done it. Instead she felt her shoulders relax slightly and her hand starting to feel less shaky where she was holding the cup.

Takayama once again went back to the quiet Kiyoomi had gotten used to. The cigarette gave her mind something to focus on. Something to overthink other than her crumbling relationship with the first real love she had. Not that they had said that word yet.

By the time the cigarette was finished and Takayama waved her goodbye, Kiyoomi had also almost finished her coffee. She looked at her phone. 5:56. The others would be woken up by their alarms in four minutes. She should probably get back. There was no way of sneaking back in before the alarm, but she could at least make it in time enough for them to not be awake enough to worry before she got back.

And just as expected she returned to the room just as everyone was starting to wake up.

“Kiyo?” Motoya asked, still sounding quiet. “Where'd you go?”

“Fresh air,” she replied. “Couldn't sleep.”

Abe seemed to still be somewhat asleep, obviously not a morning person as Miya had had to force her out of bed and to the dining hall every morning this week, meanwhile the blonde was out of bed already, wash bag in hand and clothes for the day under her arm. 

She eyed Kiyoomi suspiciously but did not say anything further. However when she passed by Kiyoomi on her way out and breathed in, Kiyoomi saw her eyes widen for a split second before she grinned at her. “Fresh air, huh?”

Motoya looked at them confused, but was clearly too tired to properly question what was going on.

-

“What are we doing for our last night, guys?” Miya asked once they were stretching after the last practice. 

Motoya grinned. “How do we feel about getting drunk?”

Miya immediately grinned back. “Always knew I could count on you!”

And just like that, for a second year in a row, Kiyoomi found herself at a ‘thing’ in someone's dorm room nursing the same bottle of beer for an hour while her cousin and Miya were getting drunker and drunker by the second. Kiyoomi really wondered if the staff really wasn't hearing the loud music and laughter coming from the room or if they were just choosing to let them have this for the last night.

“Loosen up, Kiyo,” Motoya said, nudging her knee into Kiyoomi’s. “Have some fun, for once.”

Before she could argue that further, Miya dropped her head into Kiyoomi's lap. Kiyoomi had never been directly opposed to physical contact in the way people assumed her to be due to the ‘germ thing’. But she also never grew up with it. Her family wasn't very physically affectionate, the closest she got was whenever she visited the Komori family and would get a hug from both her aunt and uncle as a greeting. But even then she had been stiff and it had felt like a formality. Throughout the years she had watched other girls be comfortable around each other, holding hands platonically, hugging each other goodbye before school holidays or casually cuddling during movie nights. It had never been her thing.

She was getting better at it with Tsukasa. The other girl being mindful of Kiyoomi being new to all of this. But she also found she usually quite enjoyed it. There was a comfort in having someone else's hand in hers. It felt grounding whenever Tsukasa would wrap her arms around Kiyoomi or play with her hair.

“Ya gotta play with my ‘air, Omi-Omi," Miya hummed. Her sentence was slurred and her accent thicker now. Kiyoomi chose to ignore the new nickname and instead did as told, reaching one hand down to play with Miya's hair. Despite the horrible bleach job the hair was soft, bright yellow-ish blond falling between Kiyoomi’s fingers. She started moving her fingertips over Miya’s scalp, watching as the other closed her eyes. “Thanks, Omi-Omi, yar the best.”

Kiyoomi doubted she really meant that and chose to focus on her newly assigned task instead of the sentence. 

She barely noticed the drinking game that started happening around her not much later. Or her cousin's eyes on her.

-

They left the next day. Miya gave both of them a long hug before she went off to the station, making Kiyoomi promise to try and actually text back sometimes, while telling Motoya she would try to find time to introduce Suna to her at nationals. 

And just like that Kiyoomi watched bleached yellow hair move out of her sight and into a crowded bus alongside everyone else going to the central station. For some reason it made her feel weird. She barely even knew Miya and yet she felt sad about her going home.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Motoya asked.

“I don't know what you're referring to,” she replied, turning around to drag Motoya off to where their bus would be stopping instead. 

“You'll have to eventually,” Motoya kept going. “And wouldn't you prefer it's with me instead of Tsukasa.”

The mention of Tsukasa did not help to lift her mood. She really hoped Tsukasa would understand Kiyoomi genuinely just saw Miya as a friend. She just was new to making those, so that was most likely where Tsukasa’s confusion had stemmed from.

“There is nothing to talk about.”