Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

James had no interest in granting Victor Schallenberg any credit for anything. Still, he had to admit that, for all his bluster, Victor had his moments. 

Case in point: he and Katerina coordinated a highly-classified, off-the-books visit to the Crystal Alcove in Grindavik, Iceland, one of the most luxurious retreats on the continent, if not the planet. James had been looking for a wellness activity for his and Steve’s vacation, and had no suitable options. Money was no object, but privacy and security were, and even the most high-end spa retreats didn’t have enough to make him comfortable. 

James knew he had been desperate when he sent a secure message to Victor, asking for help. After a string of messages that could only be categorized as gloating, Victor emailed James with a reservation for the Crystal Alcove. It was renowned for its geothermal pools and rehabilitative treatments, built amidst Iceland’s lava fields.

Victor’s reservation appeared to offer everything James and Steve needed. He had booked a presidential suite for them, with unrestricted private access to the subterranean spa and a private hot spring. During their stay, they had private staff to serve their needs and protect their privacy from the limited number of guests, who appeared to be high-powered members of the Schallenberg’s set. Every staff member reportedly signed an ironclad nondisclosure agreement, which, if broken, would result in a lawsuit that would bankrupt the owners for at least two generations. Even a grainy, low-resolution smartphone photo would trigger it. James and Steve could utilize every treatment and amenity, from in-water massages to the high-temperature steam room. It was extraordinary. James had been so focused on the PDF detailing the visit that he nearly missed Victor's note in the email.

You’re very welcome. Enjoy yourself. You do owe us, and we will collect.

James wanted to tell Victor to fuck off, but chose instead to begrudingly accept the reservation on his and Steve’s behalf. When James informed Steve of their plans, he unsurprisingly balked.

“There’s no way we can accept this!” Steve said, looking up from the tablet in shock.

“Why not?” James asked, already having worked through Steve’s objections the day before.

“It’s too much!” Steve exclaimed. “Have you read this through? It’s too extravagant. I mean, come on, what the hell is float therapy supposed to be anyway?”

“Something we don’t have to worry about because we’re not paying for it,” James said, shrugging. “The website said it’s supposed to be ‘rejuvenating’ or whatever.”

“The fact that you don’t know is more proof that we should not be doing this,” Steve said, shaking his head profusely.

“Well, next time,” James said, snatching the tablet out of Steve’s hands and tossing it on the couch. “Don’t fuck a target so good that they feel indebted to you. It’s your fault, you and your big dick.”

“I thought yours was bigger,” Steve said, eyes narrowing.

“It is.”

“Shut up, Bucky.”

James rolled his eyes and knelt in front of Steve. “Look, idiot, I’m not gonna sit here and list all the reasons why you deserve this, because you know them already.”

“You deserve it, too,” Steve said, doing that thing he did where he looked up at James through his eyelashes and almost pouted.

“Fine.” James rolled his eyes, feeling that thing he felt whenever Steve did his thing, where his stomach got warmer. “So we deserve it. Get over yourself and enjoy it, then.”

“So…” Steve asked, looking less against it than he did a few minutes ago. “You’re just gonna ignore that part of Victor’s email where he said we owe him?” 

“Oh, no,” James said, smiling as he stood up and headed to the bedroom. “You’re absolutely gonna suck Victor off to pay for this. Now, hurry up and start packing. We have a flight to catch.”

“Wait…what?”

Steve got over his frugality long enough for them to board the Schallenberg private jet to Reykjavík and the chauffeured black car to the resort. It came back as soon as they arrived, though, with Steve looking flustered as the staff swirled around them, collecting their bags and handing them white marble suitcases filled with personalized amenities for their stay. Steve was halfway through rejecting his suitcase when James elbowed him in the ribs. Steve sighed, nodded, and gave a staff member one of his warmest smiles as he accepted it. James didn’t miss her excited giggle as she returned to the staff lineup.

It was much easier for Steve when they changed into matching white robes and walked to their private lagoon. James wasn’t impressed by much, but the steam radiating off the top of the water and jagged mineral walls bordering the pool were breathtaking. 

Steve was less guarded with his awe. “Jesus Christ, Buck! This is incredible!”

“It is,” James said, smiling as he stared at Steve. “You should get in.”

“You aren’t?”

“I will,” James answered. “But why don’t you test it out?”

Steve’s eyes narrowed. “You just want to see me in my swimsuit.”

James did, because he wanted to see if his preparation paid off. When he filled out the retreat’s intake form, one question asked about the personalized swim apparel they’d prefer for their stay. Naturally, James picked the white Speedo for Steve, without his knowledge, remembering the Sardinia incident. He hadn’t had the opportunity to see Steve change, as he was busy handling some last-minute reservation details, but he was buzzing for the chance now.

Steve undid his robe and dropped it to the floor, and James almost choked. Steve had complained that the trunks James bought him in Sardinia were obscene. The complaint was laughable now. The Speedo was obscene. Steve filled out every inch, as if it were made to measure. The top of the suit sat low on his waist, baring the delicious hollows of his hips, while the hem stretched tight along the curves of his ass. As intimately familiar as he was with it already, the high, round fullness of Steve’s cheeks wrapped in white spandex seemed destined to drive him insane.

“You’re staring.”

James lifted his eyes from Steve’s ass to his face, grumbling at his wide smirk.

“Don’t try to be cute, Steve,” James warned, glaring at him before returning his eyes downward, sitting them right back on the top curve of his cheeks, where the swimsuit barely stretched over.

“Don’t be obvious, Buck,” Steve shot back as he tugged the back of the swimsuit, baring a few inches of skin.

“Get in the fucking water.”

Steve chuckled as he bent down and climbed into the spring. He gasped as the steaming-hot water surrounded him, already starting to make his skin flush. Like a kid, Steve excitedly dunked his head underwater and came back up, flinging his golden hair back. A few wet strands dripped over Steve’s forehead, which did something deep inside James’s gut.

“Come and get in!” Steve yelled, treading water with his arms, panting with excitement.

“Looks like you’re having fun,” James said, kneeling at the spring’s edge. 

“It’d be more fun if you joined me,” Steve said, swimming to the edge and reaching for the belt of James’s robe, undoing it.

“What if I just want to watch you?” James asked, peeling his robe off his shoulders and tossing it behind him.

Steve frowned. “That’s pretty boring, Buck.” His eyes dropped to James’s dark blue swim trunks, admiring how tight they were on James’s thick thighs. “And screw you; why am I wearing a Speedo and you’re wearing that?”

“I made the reservation,” James said, paying Steve back with a snap of the hem of his trunks against his left thigh. “I pick the outfits.”

“And to think,” Steve said, running his hand up James’s thigh. “I was gonna thank you for this trip by sucking your dick, right here, right now.”

James quirked his eyebrow. “Is that right? “Wanna suck on me a little? Be good for me?”

“I said I wanted to,” Steve said, pushing James back so he could cross his arms over the spring’s edge. “But you wanted to be a jerk and ruin it for me.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want it, Stevie,” James said, dropping his voice an octave and watching Steve’s pupils expand. “I know how much you like tonguing my dick down, getting right up under the head, making me cross-eyed.”

“Bucky…”

James shifted his legs from under himself and dipped them in the water, bracketing Steve’s shoulders. “So fucking hungry for it. Gonna let me feed my dick to you, Stevie? Suck me until I blow down your pretty little throat?”

Steve’s hands slid up James’s thighs to the waistband of his trunks. James leaned back on his arms and lifted himself so Steve could pull the trunks down to the middle of his thighs. James was halfway hard, the shaft looking heavy as it throbbed to life under Steve’s heated gaze.

“Maybe if you’re good…” James said as he wrapped his metal hand around his shaft and started stroking. “I’ll let you slip a finger in me.”

“God fucking damn it.” Steve threw himself forward between James’s legs and took the head of James’s dick into his mouth.

James gasped as the hot clutch of Steve’s mouth surrounded his dick. Steve used James’s words against him, cradling the head and rubbing the flat of his tongue against the underside, right over that bundle of nerves that made him see stars. He traced the outline of the tip with short little flicks, sampling every nook and cranny he could reach. James pressed harder against his arms as he started rocking his hips, trying to push more of his dick into Steve’s mouth. Steve ignored the effort, wrapping his hand around James’s shaft and holding it still. He sucked hard on the head, wetting it with his spit and molding it against the roof of his mouth with his tongue.

“Fuck, Stevie,” James groaned as he made another attempt to push up into Steve’s mouth, failing again. “Let me in some more.”

James thought he had finally broken through to Steve when he felt another two inches of his dick slip past Steve’s lips. He was about to reach down and cradle the back of Steve’s head when Steve retreated to suckle on the tip again, making a slow drip of spit roll down James’s shaft. James’s head fell back, and he let out a pathetic noise, too blissed out to care that Steve was laughing around his dick. He didn’t even mind, not with Steve’s laugh making his tip vibrate and weep precum into Steve’s mouth.

“Taste so good, Buck,” Steve said, licking up the fluid from James’s slit while he stroked the shaft, squeezing when it throbbed to make more drip out. He loudly tapped his tongue against the roof of his mouth, making a show of tasting James’s precum.

“You…fucking…punk,” James growled, steeling his thighs so he didn’t choke Steve with his dick, even if he deserved it.

“You know, you should be nicer to me,” Steve said as he rolled James’s balls in his hand. “Trying to be good for you, but you’re such a jerk .” He added a nasty, twisting jerk of James’s shaft to make his point.

“If it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t be here,” James moaned, carding his flesh fingers through Steve’s hair and pressing his head down. “Now finish what you fucking started.”

Steve chuckled before resuming sucking James’s dick. He was more giving this time, taking James’s dick in his mouth to the middle of the shaft and lapping at the underside with his tongue. James felt incredible, the heat of Steve’s mouth spreading through his lower body like melted lava. He was getting close, the heat surging up his shaft to his tip. He closed his eyes and gave in to Steve’s hungry mouth. He just needed a few more licks and sucks from that tongue and those lips and he would blow down Steve’s throat.

“Shit!”

Suddenly, the heat around James’s dick was gone, and he heard a large splash in front of him. James opened his eyes and saw the water rippling where Steve had just been. James was perplexed, painfully aroused, and deeply agitated as he looked down and saw Steve’s submerged body. He felt Steve tap his right foot three times in the water, which was usually a signal on missions that someone was approaching. James turned his head and understood why Steve retreated. He saw a female Alcove staff member wearing a blue masseuse swimsuit coming down the stone stairs towards their private lagoon. Thankfully, the rocky walls of the stairway shielded her from seeing them, but they could see her. It was a brilliant bit of privacy-minded design, which James took advantage of by quickly yanking his trunks over his waist.

“Mr. Ewing? Mr. Donaldson?” the masseuse asked as she approached James and Steve, just as Steve arose from the water. “Are you ready for your float therapy appointment?”

James scowled. “I was ready to—”

“We’re very excited,” Steve interrupted, punching James in the shin with his fist. “We were just talking about how great the water felt. Right, Buck?”

James grunted his response, looking down at his crotch and mourning the orgasm that got away.

The masseuse excitedly clapped her hands, and James instantly decided he was going to find her very annoying. “Wonderful! I am Ida, and I will be your masseuse for the afternoon. Let’s get started!”

James’s instinct was correct. Ida was a bright ball of Danish sunshine as she laid out her bag of massage tools next to the spring. She was of average height, with shoulder-length blonde hair and an athletic build, the swimsuit fitting her very well. She was also a talker. Ida talked about her time at the Blue Lagoon, noting that today was her second anniversary. She also explained, in excruciating detail, the “glorious” benefits of float therapy. Steve, the American supersoldier version of Ida, seemed to be fully bought into float therapy by the time she finished her spiel. 

James knew why. Ida explained how effective it could be for people with complex nervous system maladies. James fell in that category, which meant Ida had Steve’s rapt attention. Steve listened intently, so much so that James was surprised that Steve hadn’t hopped out of the spring to grab a pen and paper. 

“So, how long should someone do a float therapy session?” Steve asked, the cogs of his eidetic memory visibly working. “How often? Is it more effective the more you do it in a week? A month?”

“Grant…” James sighed, trying not to sound annoyed. “Stop pestering the woman.”

“It’s not a bother at all, Mr. Ewing,” Ida said. “To answer your question, Mr. Donaldson, there are diminishing returns if you do it too much. It won’t hurt, but there will be a plateau. It’s best to save float therapy for special occasions while doing more regular wellness sessions.”

“And about the silica scrub…can we get that—”

“Oh my God,” James groaned out loud.

“I promise, Mr. Donaldson,” Ida said, glancing at James, sensing his irritation. “I’ll make sure you have all the information you need.”

Steve looked sheepishly at both of them. “I just want to make sure Buck is getting what he needs, is all.”

”Goddamn it…” James muttered, that warm, melted-butter feeling hitting him in the gut.

“Why don’t we begin so you can see the benefits for yourselves?” Ida offered, sitting down next to James and slipping her legs into the water. Ever the gentleman, Steve held out his hand and helped her slip comfortably into the spring. “Which one of you would like to start?”

“Grant can go first,” James quickly said before Steve could offer him up. “Since he had all the questions.”

“Really?” Steve crossed his arms and fixed James with a disappointed stare.

“It may be helpful for our more skeptical participants to see someone they trust participate first,” Ida said, smiling warmly at a scowling James. “We structure our couples massages that way for a reason, and active participation.”

“Active what?” James asked.

“I would have you follow along with my techniques and try them on Mr. Donaldson,” Ida explained. “If you feel comfortable, of course. It is entirely optional.”

James’s ears perked up; he would never turn down an opportunity to touch Steve. “Why don’t you start so I can see what you’re talking about?”

“I know what you’re doing, Buchanan ,” Steve said.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” James said with a quick eyebrow raise.

Ida led Steve into the middle of the spring, where the milky blue water was steamiest. She guided him to float on his back, his limbs slowly sluicing through the water. She strapped a pair of supports onto Steve’s thighs to help him float. Steve and James exchanged looks over the fact that Steve didn’t need them, but kept silent for Ida’s sake. 

“Comfortable?” Ida asked.

“Yeah,” Steve said, smiling. “I feel a bit funny.”

“It’s an adjustment, yes,” Ida said. “The goal is to make you feel weightless, like floating on a cloud.”

”Oh, brother…” James muttered, quickly coughing when Ida and Steve looked his way.

“Definitely feels like that,” Steve said, rolling his eyes at James’s petty remark before turning his head to face the sky again.

Ida quickly swam back to the ledge, grabbed the tin of silica gel that Steve was fascinated by, and swam back to Steve. “I’ll be gently massaging your body, even your fingertips.” Ida poured the gel into her hands and held Steve’s. “We want to tackle your most vulnerable joints and ligaments, the most active ones. We want to relieve the pressure you put on your bones through everyday activities, refreshing them so they feel brand new.”

James could admit that Ida’s explanation was compelling. He didn’t know the extent of HYDRA’s damage to his musculoskeletal system, but if his hourly aches and pains were any indication, it was deeply, perhaps irrevocably, fucked. He doubted that Ida’s treatments would affect him; he wasn’t designed that way. He wasn’t built for considerations of sensitivity and comfort. 

“Oh!”

On the other hand, Steve was designed that way, and Ida’s treatment appeared to have its intended effect. He made a tiny yelp when she started massaging his right hand’s fingers, a surprising reaction to such a small act. She didn’t look like she was pressing hard; her fingers floated over Steve’s skin. And yet, James could see the slight tremors of the water around Steve, as if his skin was buzzing. Steve caught wind of it, too, and he turned to James and mouthed an excited “wow.”. James flicked water at him with his foot.

After an inordinate amount of time with Steve’s fingers, Ida made her way to more interesting territory, her fingers stroking their way up his forearm and back down to his wrist. “You’re very tense here, Mr. Donaldson. You must work a lot with your arms.”

“You could say he carries the weight of the world with them,” James said, halfway joking.

“Shut up, Buck.”

“Very strong muscles,” Ida said, pressing circles into his forearm with her thumbs. “Of course, you should be careful. You don’t want to cause any unnecessary strain.”

“I bounce back quickly,” Steve said, winking at James.

“Shut up, Grant.”

“Flex your wrist for me, Mr. Donaldson?” Ida asked. Steve did, and he let out an impressed sigh. She smiled and asked, “How does that feel?”

“Great,” Steve said, flexing his wrist again. “Jesus…feels so much lighter.” He rotated his wrist and stroked his arm through the water. “Really does feel like a cloud.”

“Sounds like you should be a spokesperson,” James quipped.

“They say that the minerals embedded in the water help relax your joints,” Ida said, stretching Steve’s fingers and flexing his thumb backward. “By the end of the session, your entire body will feel like that.”

Ida massaged up Steve’s bicep, triceps, and across his shoulders. She spent substantial time on them, applying slightly more pressure to the muscles. James knew from personal experience how much Steve appreciated firm hands on his body, and hers on his shoulders made him let out his first proper moan of the session. Steve immediately realized how he sounded and looked at James, mortified. “Mortified Steve” was one of James’s favorite types of Steve, which meant that James would be of no help, simply smirking at him with gleaming eyes.

When she finished with his shoulders, Ida pressed her hands against Steve’s back and spun him around in the water to massage his right side. She worked more on Steve’s right arm, pushing harder and longer into his muscles. Steve’s right arm usually bore the weight of the vibranium shield, and even though Steve would deny it profusely, James knew its strain, even with the serum. Steve wasn’t denying it now: he let Ida go to town on his arm, making pleased little noises with each stroke.

“It tingles,” Steve said as Ida worked on his fingers. “Is it supposed to tingle this much?”

“If you’ve never done this before, or if you don’t get massages often, then yes, it can be an overwhelming experience,” Ida explained.

“He doesn’t,” James said. “He doesn’t take care of himself at all. Ever.”

“Buck takes care of me just fine,” Steve said, winking at James. “He’s great at it.”

James bit his lip and grumbled, “Shut up, Steve.”

“The sensation is also intense because you are weightless in the water,” Ida continued. “The goal of float therapy is to untether you from what grounds you, so you can be fully in tune with your body and what it needs. The removal of distractions will often make you feel more.”

“Yeah…” Steve said. “Definitely more…”

Even from the spring’s edge, James could tell that Steve’s sensitivity was getting the better of him. His golden skin was awash in a soft pink color, stretching down to his chest. His lips were parted in that way that suggested hot and breathy moans, with his bottom lip occasionally catching between his teeth. His eyes struggled to stay open, only managing so Steve could watch James while Ida worked. She seemed none the wiser about Steve’s predicament as she again massaged her way up Steve’s arm to his shoulders. 

The sight was unmistakable for James: Steve was very, very turned on. 

Which naturally meant that James would be turned on, too.

“Are there any places on your torso that you want me to focus on, Mr. Donaldson?” Ida asked as she spun Steve around again so his left side faced her.

James decided her question was an invitation to have fun at Steve’s expense. “He has issues with his chest,” he said, adopting an innocent tone with a soft, worrying smile aimed at Ida. “A lot of tension there. You know, because his muscles are so firm and heavy?”

Steve glared at James. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, Mr. Donaldson…” Ida looked genuinely concerned, the poor woman. “Please, you do not have to be embarrassed.”

“I’m not—”

“Yes, you have very large pectorals and that can be a strain if you don’t care for your muscles properly,” Ida interrupted Steve to explain, taking James’s suggestion seriously and making Steve blush harder. “I’m happy to help you get started, and then you start a proper regimen when you leave.”

Steve shook his head profusely. “You don’t have—”

His protest was interrupted by a low moan caused by Ida’s hand settling on his left pec, the top of her palm pressing his nipple. Ida began massaging it, her palm circling and pushing into the wide muscle, her thumb stroking over the outlining curves. Steve rolled his shoulders back and lifted his chest into the pressure, exhaling when Ida responded with a reaffirming squeeze of her fingers. The stretch drew James’s eyes to Steve’s neck, which was as flush-warm as the rest of him. He lasered in Steve’s pulse, throbbing a few beats faster than normal. James had a not-insignificant urge to suck on it like clearly, desperately needed.

He tempered his urge by focusing again on Ida’s hands on Steve’s chest. James would freely admit that he directed her to Steve’s pecs to take advantage of his hyperactive sensitivity and get a rise out of him. However, Ida was truly excellent at her job. She was deliberate and thoughtful in touching Steve, finding his most vulnerable spots and easing their tension. Her fingers, long and pale with nude nail polish, were a stunning contrast to Steve’s skin, leaving his flesh more relaxed after just a few passes. Her thumb skimmed the bottom curve of Steve’s pec near his sternum, one of his most sensitive spots, also James’s favorite spot on him. James knew what was coming, but his breath still caught in his lungs from seeing Steve light up underneath her, his chest expanding and neck arching as he took a slightly jagged breath. Ida followed her instinct and pressed against the spot while her other fingers stroked and kneaded circles into the rest of his pec. 

“Oh, Jesus,” Steve moaned. 

“Relax, Mr. Donaldson,” Ida said, pushing Steve back to lie in the water when he tried turning towards her. “You don’t want to work against the massage. You want to let the massage work against you. It is in control, not you.”

“Oh…” Steve turned to James, his eyes steaming hot. “Sorry…”

James reached down and adjusted his swim trunks when he felt his dickhead throb underneath the waistband. The last thing they needed was an indecent exposure complaint against them. It didn’t help his arousal, though, not with Ida’s hands working on Steve’s chest. She was taking Steve apart piece by piece, making him pant and squirm in the water. He tried to follow her instructions nd control himself, but it looked like torture for him. Steve moaned low when her fingers passed over his nipples, making them hard, pink, and desperate for her practiced touch. Somehow, Ida seemed completely oblivious to it all, focused solely on relaxing Steve, never mind that she was kneading him ragged. James was impressed. He also would’ve been jealous if it weren’t for Steve looking so good under someone else’s hands. Even still, Steve was openly, shamelessly desperate for James, no matter who else had him for the moment.

“Mr. Ewing, now that you’ve seen me do it, would you like to participate with your partner?” Ida asked, her hands slipping down Steve’s chest to his stomach. “The dual stimulation can be quite beneficial, especially for someone like Mr. Donaldson.”

“Oh, fuck yes.” James jumped off the ledge into the water, accidentally splashing Ida and Steve. He didn’t care; he had bigger concerns, specifically involving Steve’s chest. “Where do I start?”

“Buck!” Steve shouted, wiping the water out of his eyes. “You jerk!”

“If you can grab the silica gel…” Ida gestured at the tin floating by Steve’s feet. “And rub some into your hands?”

James didn’t know what silica would do to his metal hand, so he popped the tin and poured the gel into his flesh one. “Now?”

“Do what I do to Mr. Donaldson’s abdomen to his chest,” Ida instructed, her fingers rubbing circles over Steve’s abs, his muscles quivering beneath them. “Start with very light strokes, your fingertips grazing his skin. Then, you can gradually increase the pressure.”

Winking at Steve, which Steve returned with a look that said “No funny business,” James reached over and placed his flesh hand on Steve’s left pec, over his heart. Steve let out a similar yelp to when Ida first touched him, but his eyes were much different, conveying a gentle warmth as they stared up at James. James knew Steve was responding to the placement of his hand. It was unintentional, but James didn’t feel like walking it back. He also knocked back the impulse to make light of the moment, making a self-deprecating joke or flicking Steve in the chest. Steve looked like he expected that from him. Instead, James lowered his head and kissed Steve softly, pulling back to see Steve’s eyes blink and sparkle.

“Jerk,” Steve said, breathing slowly, reliving the kiss.

“Punk,” James said back, indulging in one firm squeeze of Steve’s pec that yanked a moan out of him, which he bent down again to taste.

James decided to start working on Steve’s chest. He looked down at Ida’s hands massaging Steve’s stomach and followed her example, focusing on lightly rubbing the gel into Steve’s skin first and then pressing his fingers into the heavy muscle. As he first glimpsed when Ida was massaging him, Steve’s pec did feel less tense than before. It had more give under his fingers, was much easier to knead, still strong but more supple. James wanted to press his mouth against Steve’s skin, tasting the mineral-rich water cresting over it, sucking on his pec until he came in his speedo. For the sake of decency, James settled for just touching. He brought his metal hand into the mix, pressing it against Steve’s back underwater and rubbing his spine. Steve pushed down into James’s metal hand while rocking his chest into the flesh one, biting his lip to keep from moaning.

“Take a deep breath, Mr. Donaldson,” Ida said. “Let your stomach expand. I want to make sure I get the dips in your abdomen.”

Steve inhaled as Ida ordered, and exhaled out a fragile sound when she pushed into the deep grooves of his abs. James’s eyes tracked down to Steve’s stomach, watching his muscles tighten and release under her fingers, and continued to his swimsuit. Steve was sporting an unmistakable hard-on that was bulging from his crotch to the point of obscenity. 

“Awww…” James bent down to whisper in Steve’s ear. “You keyed up, Stevie? We got you too hot?”

“Buck,” Steve turned to James, his face crinkling in delicious shame. “I didn’t mean…”

“I know, Stevie.” James had meant to comfort him, but Steve’s embarrassed face and the metal hand stroking his back gave James a nasty idea. “You want me to be sweet to you?”

“What…?” Steve’s dropped question ran hot over James’s ear, spurring him on even further.

“Just hang on a little while longer,” James’s hand slid down Steve’s back until his finger grazed the waist of Steve’s Speedo. “And try not to move…I’ll be good to you after….”

“Buck…”

“You’re close, aren’t you?” James whispered.

Steve moaned low at James’s words, slamming his mouth shut when he realized how loud he had been. 

“Are you alright, Mr. Donaldson?” Ida asked, looking up at Steve’s face. 

“He’s alright,” James said with a fake innocent smile. “I think I was a bit too rough with him.”

Ida nodded. “Soft fingers, Mr. Ewing. Then you can press harder. You want to work up to it. He is extra sensitive right now with the water.”

“Understood…” James winked at Steve.

James kept massaging Steve’s pec with his flesh hand, feasting on the delectable sight underneath him. Steve’s abs were tensing, his nipples were harder than diamonds, and he was making the most tender little sounds as James and Ida worked on him. James glanced down to see Ida had moved on to Steve’s left thigh, one hand rubbing the tender skin on the inside and the other kneading his thick quad. He looked back up at Steve, chuckling and shaking his head as Steve breathed heavily through the pressure of Ida’s fingers, trying to maintain his rapidly dissolving composure.

“You should probably tap out,” James whispered as he lowered his head near Steve. “Not sure how much more of this you can take.”

“Shut…up…jerk…” Steve panted, his hips wiggling in the water, effectively proving James’s point.

“Would you like me to work on your glu—”

“Nope!” Steve exclaimed, interrupting Ida. “I…mean…you’re fine! Please, what you’re doing is great.”

Ida shook her head in amusement and continued working her hands down to Steve’s knees. It was the amusement that stuck out in James’s mind, and he wondered what she had seen in her line of work, although he doubted she had clients like either of them. Then again, considering Victor appeared to be a regular visitor, maybe she had some experience working with a supersoldier. 

Of course, the only supersoldier that mattered at the moment was Steve, currently floating on the edge of sexual oblivion in front of him. The float therapy had worked wonders on his body, and James’s imagination started to spin with all the ways he could indulge in it. 

It was easy to jettison Steve’s ball-of-sunshine masseuse out of James’s fantasy. It was even easier for the metal hand pressed to the small of Steve’s back to slip under the swimsuit and cup one of his full, rounded cheeks. He could spend the rest of the session just doing that, squeezing the curve, testing its give, making Steve gasp in shocked delight. He could watch Steve’s nipples get harder in real time, the soft pink color standing out against the milky water lapping over them. James’s mind was split between actually massaging the heavy muscles of his chest and the imagined image of him bending over and sucking on them, the salt of the water blending beautifully with the smooth texture of Steve’s skin. 

James’s real metal hand stroked Steve’s lower back, but his imagination pushed further, slipping into Steve’s Speedo. He traced the full split of Steve’s ass, feeling the flesh tense as his muscles flexed, as if they were trying to pull James’s fingers deeper. He didn’t need imaginary Steve’s needy encouragement. He pressed his fingers between Steve’s cheeks and grazed his entrance, clenched unbearably tight. The metal middle finger in his mind toyed with the tight furl, seeking out its most vulnerable spots and gently prodding them, coaxing Steve’s hole to give in to him.

“Whoa, Buck…” 

James knew that was the real Steve, responding to James squeezing more firmly at his pec while Ida worked on his calves, but it worked just as well with his imagination. His mind added a sharp gasp as he slowly pushed his metal finger inside Steve’s ass. He also added the feeling of Steve’s walls clenching down on his finger, trying to singe the metal with its suffocating heat. He worked his finger in and out of fantasy Steve, bumping his prostate with each firm push. Steve writhed and whined sweetly in the water, the front of his swimsuit unfathomably full, molded to the shape of Steve’s thick dick. 

James heard the real Steve inhale deeply, filling his lungs with the mineral-rich air surrounding them. It didn’t help either version of him, still incredibly aroused on both sides of James’s mind. Both versions of James kneaded the tension out of Steve’s expanding chest, while fantasy James sank his finger to the hilt inside Steve and pressed mercilessly into it. He rapped the tip of his finger against Steve’s sweet spot, and James felt Steve’s walls squeeze hard on the metal digit, making it nearly impossible for it to move. Steve’s muscles locked tight as his orgasm crested over him. Even though it was James’s filthy imagination, Steve still tempered his full-body quakes to slight tremors of his torso. His dick had no such qualms, visibly pulsing in his swimsuit, undoubtedly filling the tight confines with his cum.

“Oh, God,” Steve moaned softly, shutting his eyes. “Oh…oh…shit.”

James snapped out of his fantasy and looked down at Steve and his clenched-shut eyes and fully flushed skin. He looked like he was on the verge of crashing off the side of the road, his body turned into a pleasure-filled wreck.

“Need…to…tap…out…” Steve panted, his fingers flexing in the water. 

James looked down to see Ida working on Steve’s ankles, smirking at Steve’s feet practically flailing in the water as she pressed above them. James had never been particularly interested in feet before, but he could see himself with Steve’s leg against his chest, his lips kissing across the handsome arch of his foot. His mind couldn’t decide between Steve laughing at the tickling sensation or moaning from the sensitivity, so it went with both.

“Buck…oh dear God…”

“And we’re done!” Ida said as she finished rubbing Steve’s big toe. She waded up to Steve’s thighs, unstrapped the leg supports, and then came up next to Steve’s torso, looking down at him with a pleased, expectant grin. “How are you feeling?”

Steve let out a deep, shuddering exhale, the steadily building tension suddenly dissipating now that Ida’s hands were off him. He was lethargic, like he was about to sink to the bottom of the pool, not caring if the heat at the bottom burned him to ashes.

“Uh…” Steve drawled.

“Pretty sure that means good,” James said, rubbing his hand over Steve’s pec.

“I’m so glad you enjoyed your first float therapy appointment!” Ida said, shrugging her eyebrows. “Normally, we would continue with Mr. Ewing, but since this is your first time, I think it would be best for you two to…” She paused, thinking about her next word. “...regroup. I’m happy to schedule another session for later.”

“Uh…” Steve sighed, giving up on trying to speak.

“We’ll think about it,” James said, shrugging his eyebrows back at Ida.

Ida nodded. “Mr. Ewing, would you mind accompanying me to the ledge with the leg supports? It’ll only take a moment.”

“You good here, Cap?” James asked, only getting another sigh from Steve.

James grabbed the leg supports and moved through the water behind Ida to the ledge of the spring. She climbed out of the water, and James handed her the supports, which she took after gathering her items and putting them in her bag.

“I hope you enjoyed your first float therapy experience, Mr. Ewing,” Ida said.

“It was…enlightening…” James said, slightly bouncing in the water as he remembered his mind taking Steve apart mere moments ago.

“You know…” Ida knelt and gave James a gentle smile. “There are more…intimate programs here specifically designed to enhance your intimacy with your partner.”

“Excuse me?”

“Traditional float therapy is fine for more…carnal activities,” Ida explained, ignoring how the color drained from his face. “But you two are likely better served with those.”

James wasn’t entirely familiar with embarrassment, but the crash deep in his gut felt like a decent approximation. He started pacing in his head, wondering if he said something or made a sound during his fantasy that gave his wicked game away. “Uh…”

“Here is my card,” Ida said, reaching into her bag and placing said card on the towel in front of James. “I’m happy to help book your next appointment. There is a group of specialists who can assist you during your stay. I’ll just flag to the coordinator that you and Mr. Donaldson are not to be disturbed. I assume you’d like some more privacy?”

James cleared his throat and nodded.

“Great,” Ida said, her smile returning to its more affable and irritating state. “Enjoy, Mr. Ewing!”

Ida walked away and up the stairs, leaving James dumbstruck in the water. James thought about how nonplussed Ida seemed to be talking about…whatever she was talking about. He was particularly stuck on her point about the “specialists” and their “special programs.” It sounded suspiciously like an open invitation to something far more common than the reservation suggested. He then thought about who booked the reservation: a couple of sex-mad aristocrats with unlimited resources to do whatever, and whoever, they wanted. It only took another minute or so for James to reach his assumption about the Crystal Alcove.

“That fucking whore,” James muttered.

James filed his complaint away for later, swimming back to Steve, who was still lying out languidly in the middle of the spring. He figured that if some kind of red light district thing was going on, he was long overdue to be satiated. 

“Steve…” James said. “Still with me?”

“Leave me alone,” Steve sighed. “I’m dead…”

“Fucking a corpse isn’t sexy, Steve,” James deadpanned. “And I need to get in your ass right the fuck now, so I’m gonna need you to get yourself together, okay?”

Steve closed his eyes. “Can you do that without me having to move? I just want to lie here some more.”

“No,” James said curtly, grabbing Steve’s shoulder and pulling him upright off his back.

“I thought we were supposed to be relaxing?’ Steve asked with an irritated scowl, but his eyes were sparkling with mischief. 

“We’ll do that after I fuck you.”

James grabbed Steve’s hips and pushed him to the left side of the granite border, facing away from the staircase, just in case someone dared to check on them. He pushed Steve against the wall, fitting his body along the deep curve of Steve’s back. With his metal hand braced against the wall, James rutted into Steve, working his crotch into Steve’s round ass until he was fully hard in his trunks. Steve was still limp against him, but he mustered up enough energy to reach behind himself, squeezing James’s left hip and trying to tug his trunks down.

“Acting like you were too relaxed for my dick…” James chuckled into Steve’s ear before scraping his teeth against the skin. “You’re full of shit, Stevie.”

“Can you hurry up so I can go back to floating?” Steve’s hand slipped into the front of James’s trunk and grabbed his erection. “Fuck…damn it, Buck.”

“Been waiting all day to get inside you,” James said, working his dick through Steve’s fist while his flesh hand tugged Steve’s Speedo down off his ass. “If you had just finished me off—”

“We almost got caught,” Steve moaned as James slipped a finger between his cheeks and stroked his still-loose hole.

“Something tells me they wouldn’t care,” James said, thrusting his finger into Steve a few times before fitting his dick between Steve’s cheeks. “And I sure as fuck don’t.”

“Buck, stop being—ahh!”

Steve cried out when James slammed his dick forward into Steve’s ass, bottoming out in one wet thrust. James groaned as Steve’s hot walls pulsed around him, the clench against his tip making him lightheaded. He moved his hand off Steve’s ass cheek to squeeze Steve’s pec, scraping Steve’s nipple with his finger. James fucked hard into Steve, his hips smacking wetly into Steve’s ass, those heavy cheeks bouncing off of him. Steve may have claimed exhaustion, but James’s dick inside him was waking him up. He pressed his left hand next to James’s on the wall and pushed his ass back into James’s strong thrusts, while his other arm jerked inconspicuously in the water, likely doing only one thing.

“If you’re so tired…” James growled in Steve’s ear. “Why are you jerking off?”

“Shut…up…” Steve panted, shoving his ass hard into James, gasping as James’s dick bumped his prostate. “Fuck…”

“You do not get to come before I do,” James groused, twisting Steve’s nipple hard, making him whine.

“Then you better hurry up, Buck,” Steve panted, sliding his hand over James’s metal one, curling his finger over it. “Your dick feels too good…I’m close.”

“You motherfucking…”

James let go of Steve’s pec and curled his arm tightly around Steve’s torso, pushing him into the wall. James picked up the speed of his thrusts, reaming Steve open on his dick and battering his prostate. Steve was literally caught between a rock and a hard place, and the fact made James chuckle as he sucked a red mark into Steve’s neck. Steve gave up trying to fuck back against him, clinging to James’s metal hand on the wall and gasping as James railed him. His body may have been loose from the massage, but Steve’s ass was relentless, his walls squeezing James’s dick so tightly that it made James’s lungs rattle. James fought through Steve’s tensing hole until one last squeeze against his dickhead made the pressure building in his groin explode.

James dropped his mouth over Steve’s shoulder and bit down as he came, unloading deep into Steve’s ass. Steve cried out in shock, his hole tightening on James’s dick until it almost hurt. Even through the haze of his orgasm, he realized what he had done and tried to lift his head, needing to apologize. He couldn’t, though, because Steve’s wet hand came up to the back of James’s head and held it there.

“It’s…okay…” Steve panted, clenching his ass again as James’s dick spurted another round of cum inside him. “Don’t…it’s good…”

Blown away and somehow still coming, James lifted his teeth from Steve’s skin and sucked over the mark, licking where he nearly broke the skin, an attempt at an apology. Steve’s searing heat kept James pumping into him, the nastiness of his cum squelching around his shaft almost driving him insane. He felt another burst of pleasure spread out from the root of his dick, and he moaned pathetically against Steve’s shoulder as he shot another load in Steve’s ass. Steve was panting heavily, falling forward against the wall and pressing his ass back into James’s hips. James’s hand slipped from Steve’s abs to wrap around Steve’s dick, surprised to find it halfway soft. He rubbed over Steve’s slit and, even though they were in the water, it felt slick. He could feel liquid dripping out of it.

“You…” Steve panted. “Made me…come…”

“You sure?” James asked, genuinely asking.

“Yeah…” Steve sighed, dropping his hand into the water and grabbing James’s hip. “Did you come?” 

James felt some of his guilt dissipate, shaking his head in disbelief. “You really have to ask? With your tight fucking ass?”

“Can never be too sure,” Steve said. “Got to make sure I’m treating you right.”

“You’re fishing, Steve,” James said, bending to kiss Steve’s shoulder, avoiding the bite. “I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t, Bucky,” Steve said, squeezing James’s hip. “I’m okay.”

“I hurt you,” James said flatly, trying to back away, but Steve wouldn’t let him.

“Buck…” Steve said softly, looking at James from over his shoulder. “I’m tired. Can we skip the part where you worry about hurting me, and I insist that I can handle whatever you do to me, and I promise you that I won’t let you push me further than I can handle? Because I’d like to shower. There’s cum everywhere on me.”

“Why do I even like you?” James grumbled, squeezing Steve’s hip back.

Steve’s eyes slowly brightened, and a wide smile came across his face. “...you like me?”

James blinked. “What?”

“You said you liked me,” Steve said, his cheeks getting rosy.

“What…?”  James didn’t get what the deal was. “I’m literally inside you. I’m pretty sure I came in you twice. What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I know, but…” Steve moaned as he pulled away from James and turned around to face him. “You’ve never said it before. Officially.”

"You cannot be serious right now,” James said, pulling his trunks back over his waist. 

“I am,” Steve said, his smile somehow getting wider. “You like me. You really, really like—”

“I take it back,” James said. 

“You can’t,” Steve said, shaking his head happily as he pulled up his swimsuit. “It’s part of the official record.”

“There is no official record,” James said. “ Mr. Donaldson .”

Steve leaned against the rock wall. “Oh yeah, there is.” He tapped his temple. “It’s all here, for the rest of time.”

“For fuck’s sake.” James crowded Steve against the wall and kissed him hard, swallowing down Steve’s moan and pressing his thigh against Steve’s crotch. He was tempted to make Steve ride his thigh until he came again, but decided against it. When he pulled back, Steve looked dumbstruck. “You done being stupid?”

“For now.”

“Good,” James said. “Now get your sweet ass out so we can wash the cum out of you.”

“You say that as if you aren’t going to fill me up in a couple of hours,” Steve said.

“Of course. You really are stupid.”

James and Steve waded out of the water, grabbed their towels, robes, and slippers, and headed back to their suite. Steve was fishing for their key in his bag when James figured now was as good a time as any to tell him what he gleaned from Ida.

“So…” James started. “Uh…Ida pretty much confirmed this resort has a secret sex thing going on, and she gave me her card so we could do more sex stuff.”

Steve dropped the card on the floor and turned around. “Mortified Steve” had returned.

“What the fuck!”

Chapter Text

“We have to leave.”

James figured he had 20 minutes left of enduring “Mortified Steve.” It wasn’t the most torturous thing he ever had to do, all things considered. He had already invested an hour in Steve complaining and assumed that Steve would stop soon enough. Until then, he was fine with absentmindedly flipping through Crystal Alcove’s booklet on wellness techniques until Steve finished. However, he knew he had to pretend to genuinely consider Steve’s panic. 

“We’re not leaving,” James said as he glanced over an article about the proper lotions and creams for a deep-tissue massage.

“Yes, we are,” Steve said, completing his third round of slow pacing around the suite. “How long will it take for their jet to get here?”

“We’re not taking the Schallenberg jet,” James sighed, slightly annoyed that answering cost him his place in the article.

“Fine,” Steve said. “I’ll send Nat a distress signal. She can get us a Quinjet within an hour.”

“Do that and I’m changing the locks to the apartment,” James said, flipping to the next page.

“You act like I don’t know how to break into one.”

“I can have a security system installed in an hour that would make you and the Black Widow run into traffic,” James said. He was lying; it would only take 35 minutes.

“Can you please be serious?” Steve asked.

“No,” James replied. “Because you’re being stupid about something trivial.”

“You think Victor sending us to a sex spa is trivial?”

James groaned and closed the booklet. “One, we don’t know if it’s specifically a sex spa. I just said that they had…offerings. Two, you’re acting like you haven’t been having every kind of sex imaginable for the past few months, or were you running off to dick down girls on beaches in between SHIELD missions?”

“That’s…different,” Steve said, his face scrunching. “It’s…spontaneous?”

“What was spontaneous about you blowing your load in Victor’s ass?” James shrugged his eyebrows. “Okay, I guess that technically was spontaneous…”

“Come on, Buck…”

“My point is,” James sighed. “You’re overthinking as usual. Best case scenario, it was an offer that we don’t take up, and we just spend every waking hour in the hot spring.”

“And worst case?” Steve asked incredulously.

“There is no worst case,” James said.

Steve finally sat on the bed, turning to face James, sitting in the lounge chair. “How are you so calm about this?”

“Because I’m more logical than you,” James said after scoffing in disbelief. “There is nothing about this place that screams ‘den of iniquity,’ and even if it were one, it’s protected with an ironclad nondisclosure agreement. And yes, before you asked, I checked.”

“How?” Steve asked, leaning forward.

“Did a dark web search,” James answered. “Twice, while you were freaking out. Nothing nefarious or remotely incriminating, and I’ve seen some pretty incriminating stuff in places you wouldn’t expect.”

“Like…?”

“There’s a swingers convention happening right now in Disneyland Tokyo,” James said, grabbing his tablet, opening the dark web browser, and handing it to Steve.

“What’s a swinger?” Steve asked as he scrolled on the tablet. “Is it something with swi–oh, my…goddamn.”

“See?” James rolled his eyes. “And remind me to revisit the sex swing thing with you at another time. I think you’d enjoy it. Anyway, my point is we’re safe, whether or not it’s a sex spa, which I highly doubt.”

“And if it is, which is highly likely?” Steve asked.

“Then consider it a continuation of your sex education,” James said, smiling.

“I do not need sex education,” Steve said, crossing his arms defensively.

“You didn’t know what a swinger was until 2 minutes ago,” James deadpanned. “You don’t know what a sex swing is.”

“I know the basics just fine,” Steve said, frowning. “Haven’t gotten any complaints so far, have I?”

“You underestimate how tight your ass is,” James said.

“You are such a jerk,” Steve grumbled, getting back up to resume his pacing. 

“Be that as it may,” James said. “Consider this your advanced course, okay? Level with me here. Forgive me if I like seeing and making you come every way humanly imaginable. It’s your fault.”

“I will swim back to the continent, I swear to God, Buck,” Steve huffed.

“Sit your perfect ass down, Steve,” James said sternly.

Steve exhaled heavily and sat back on the bed. James could see that Steve’s mortification and righteous indignation were running low. He placed his flesh hand on Steve’s knee and squeezed it, knowing it would wear him down more.

“We’re on vacation,” James said sternly. “We needed a break. This is that break, so we’re staying. You’re gonna stop being a punk for five minutes and get a real read of this place. You’re going to try to enjoy yourself, and if you ever feel that you’re really uncomfortable, we’ll leave. Got it?”

Steve’s indignant glare started to fade. “Fine…”

James leaned back, satisfied. “And if someone, anyone, even dares to step out of line, I’ll kill them.”

“That’s not funny, Buck,” Steve said, shaking his head.

“Good, because I’m not joking.”

“You know,” Steve said. “It would be so much easier if we just left. We don’t even have to tell Victor and Katerina.”

“You know what’s even easier than that?’ James leaned forward and smirked. “You going to the gym and working off all your frustrated embarrassment on the heavy bag.”

Steve’s eyebrow quirked. “They have a heavy bag here?”

“Did you even read the reservation, or were you too busy yapping about the price?” James groaned and rolled his eyes. “They have a state-of-the-art gym, and yes, there’s a heavy bag. Don’t know if it’s supersoldier proof, so you probably can’t wail on it like you’re used to.”

In hindsight, James felt stupid for not pulling the exercise card sooner. Steve enjoyed working out nearly as much as he enjoyed saving people, punching bullies, and riding James’s dick. He lamented how long it had been since he had really gone at a punching bag. The mere mention of one made Steve’s face take on a more inquisitive, even amenable disposition.

“State-of-the-art?” Steve asked, his resistance crumbling before James’s eyes.

“Probably on par with whatever you have in New York,” James said, smirking. “You know Katerina doesn’t do cheap. Plus…” James stood and walked over to Steve on the bed, fitting himself between Steve’s spread thighs, threading the metal fingers through his hair. “You already know about the steam room.”

“Steam…” Steve hissed when James gently tugged at his hair. “You’ll go with me?”

“Of course,” James replied. “You think I’m missing you half-wail on a heavy bag?”

“And if there’s any funny business…?” Steve asked.

“I take it I’m not allowed to at least punch anyone,” James said.

“Only inanimate objects,” Steve confirmed. “Preferably a punching bag.”

James sighed. “If there’s funny business you don’t want to get into, we’ll leave,” he acquiesced.

“Deal.”

Luckily for Steve, James assumed that he didn’t read the reservation fully and packed his usual workout outfit: his grey t-shirt that molded to every nook and cranny of his torso, his dark blue jogging pants, and a pair of white sneakers. They both changed and left their suite to go to the gym in the main resort building, separate from the suite tower. For the second time since they arrived at the Crystal Alcove, Steve looked at one of the amenities with unrestrained awe. The gym was impressive: a two-story facility with pristine granite walls and pillars, and every piece of exercise equipment imaginable. James and Steve entered at the top level, overlooking the main floor with its array of treadmills, ellipticals, and stairclimbers. The top level had some machines too, but there were more spaces for more body weight exercises. At the far end of the top floor was a door to the much-vaunted sauna, which the staff had been parroting since they had arrived. Below to the right on the bottom floor was what Steve was looking for: a collection of punching bags. 

“Look down.” James squeezed Steve’s arm and pointed at the boxing area. “You ready, Cap?”

Steve jogged down the steps and over to the punching bags, leaving James in his proverbial dust. By the time James had made it down, Steve was pulling boxing tape from the wall, wrapping his fists, and jumping in rhythm to get his blood pumping. 

“You wanna spar with me?” Steve asked, his body vibrating. 

“No,” James said. “You know I’m not a contact fighter.” He could manage fine, better than 95% of the world’s population, but he preferred his weapons.

“You afraid you’ll lose?” Steve smirked.

James glared at Steve, almost taking the bait. “Cute, Steve. Have fun with the bag. I’ll be on the treadmill.”

Steve sighed, but his enthusiasm wasn’t dampened. He was already five punches in when James made it to the elliptical closest to Steve and got it started. Unlike Steve, James was aching to burn off energy, so he set a leisurely pace on the treadmill, fast enough for his breathing to be a step below labored. Funny enough, the man next to James, who looked like he was in decent shape, was panting at a pace that was three levels below him, without an incline. It made James chuckle, thinking about the practical absurdities of the serum. 

James had been zoned out for roughly 20 minutes watching a Danish talk show as he ran when he realized he hadn’t checked on Steve in a while. He turned his head to the punching bags and saw Steve still going at the heaviest bag, bouncing around and jabbing at it. He was holding back given his strength, but was working up a sweat, his shirt clinging to his back. James was pleased that Steve was enjoying himself, and he didn’t get nearly enough of “Sweaty Steve” in his day-to-day life outside of missions. He had been missing out. 

The pleasant sight of Steve boxing was abruptly interrupted by the arrival of a man at the boxing area, making his way to Steve’s bag. The man was tall, taller than either James or Steve, with blonder, longer hair than Steve and a paler complexion. He was slim, but James could tell from his tight t-shirt that he was muscular. James could tell something else from the treadmill: this man was very interested in what Steve was doing to the heavy bag. 

“You’ve got great form,” the man said as Steve kept up his jabs, tilting his head to observe. 

“Thanks,” Steve said, pausing his punches to look at the man, smiling at him. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to go at one.”

“It does look like you’re pulling your punches, though,” the man said, crossing his arms over his chest and shamelessly looking Steve up and down. “With arms like yours, I’m surprised the bag hasn’t split open yet.”

“Oh…” Steve broke into a shy smile.

Oh…James was going to have to punch this man.

“You never know with the bags, you know?” Steve said, shifting from side to side, trying to keep his energy up while talking to the tall blonde. “I don’t want to have to pay for damages or anything.”

“I think they’d understand,” the other guy, smirking. “Why don’t I spot the bag? So you can really let loose?”

Steve blinked. “No, I couldn’t ask—”

“You’re not asking,” the tall blonde said. “I’m offering. You bear no responsibility.”

“If you insist…?” Steve held his hand out.

“Elias.” He grabbed Steve’s hand and held it a few seconds longer than necessary before shaking it. “And you are…?”

Steve cleared his throat. “Grant. Grant Donaldson.”

“Well, Grant,” Elias said. “Shall we dance?”

James slowed down his treadmill to watch this Elias person and Steve “dance,” whatever the hell that meant. Elias firmly held onto the heavy bag and handled the force behind Steve’s punches relatively well, only stumbling a few times. Steve was still pulling his punches but loosened up with his sparring partner, jabbing and bouncing around the bag. While Steve punched, he and Elias engaged in light conversation, where Elias revealed that he was a wealthy mineral developer from Stockholm who was a frequent guest of the resort. When Steve shared some of his cover story, Elias not-so-casually mentioned that Gothenburg needed hotel development.

“I have a place a few miles up from the city proper,” Elias said, smiling when Steve landed a mighty punch in the middle of the bag that knocked him back two inches. “If you manage to make your way up, I would be happy to host you.”

“Oh no…I couldn’t impose,” Steve said, backing up, shifting right, and landing seven rapid jabs on the bag.

“Nonsense,” Elias said, nodding impressively at Steve’s round of punches. “I host people at the estate all the time.”

“Estate?” Steve asked, returning Elias’s impressive nod with his own.

“Yes,” Elias said. “Inherited it from my father. That and his penchant for hosting prospective clients and dignitaries. Although…” He looked Steve up and down and smirked. “...They usually don’t look like you.”

“Oh…” Steve’s face broke out in a meekish smile. “I don’t know about all of that.”

Elias gripped the bag tighter, as if he were fighting the urge to reach out and do the same to Steve’s tiny waist. “Believe me, I do.”

Yeah, James was going to have to murder Elias.

Steve was dripping with sweat when he had finished his second round against the Elias-assisted heavy bag. He enjoyed having an indirect sparring partner, and James felt slightly guilty at putting him off. He would’ve felt more, but the rest of his still-developing emotional energy was spent on despising Elias and the lascivious way he looked at Steve. He had also noticed Steve’s sweating, his attention unevenly split between Steve’s punches and all the places that his t-shirt clung to his muscular frame, which was everywhere. He seemed particularly enamored with Steve’s chest, especially with his nipples sticking out through the fabric.

“Jeez,” Steve panted after landing a particularly hard punch that made Elias shake with the bag. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean—”

Elias interrupted wth a raised hand. “You’re good, Grant. No need to apologize.”

Steve nodded and then shook his arms, trying to unstick the shirt from his body. “God, I feel gross. At least I’m getting a good workout, huh? Appreciate the assist.”

“You sure are,” Elias said, watching Steve reach back to scratch his neck, his left bicep and pec flexing through his t-shirt. “Why not remove your shirt?”

Steve blinked. “Uh…I don’t think…wouldn’t that be inappropriate?”

Elias chuckled. “You Americans and your modesty. It’s amusing.”

“It’s called being considerate,” Steve said firmly, his Captain America tone slipping through, looking and sounding like he didn’t appreciate the jab at his home country.

“You overthink,” Elias said, waving his hand around. “Europeans aren’t as hamstrung over nudity as you Americans are. And even if we were, the resort’s exclusivity helps people feel more comfortable. I’m surprised you haven’t run into someone without their clothes yet.”

They hadn’t, and looking around the gym in that moment, James was sure that Elias was full of shit. Of the few people in the gym, no other man was shirtless, and the women were in typical workout spandex. It was glaringly obvious that Elias just wanted to see Steve shirtless. It was disingenuous as fuck.

Steve, however, didn’t seem to share James’s assessment, or his lack of self-preservation shielded him from Elias’s scheme. “I guess that makes sense.”

“If it will make you feel better…” Elias let go of the bag and casually whipped off his t-shirt. “There. And the world still turns.”

James was so stunned by Elias’s brazenness that he gripped the treadmill’s bars to keep from jumping over there and at least smacking him across the face with the metal arm. Elias looked pleased with his shirtlessness, putting his hands on his hips and waiting for Steve to respond. He did have an impressive physique, even more muscular than expected. His muscles matched his height: sleek and lithe, giving his movements an almost menacing fluidity. James knew he could smash Elias into dust if needed, but even the mere suggestion of anything negative or imposing headed for Steve was enough for engine-red alarms to go off in his head.

Making matters worse, Steve seemed oblivious to Elias’s blatant come-ons. James was gobsmacked watching Steve shrug his shoulders and pull his t-shirt over his head. Elias tried to appear unaffected, but “Shirtless Steve” made the corners of his eyes crinkle with rapidly building lust. Steve’s boxing had pumped up his muscles: his chest was bulging, his abs looked like they were carved out of stone, and the veins in his arms seemed ready to rip through his skin. All that was made worse by Steve dripping all over the place, water droplets sliding through the valley of his pecs. James imagined tracing the journey with his tongue, taking detours to visit his nipples, sucking on the stiff peaks. He licked his lips and then caught Elias at the tail end of the same lewd gesture.

“Very impressive,” Elias said, nodding appreciatively, making Steve smile shyly and James’s homidicial tendencies kick into overdrive.

“I work out a lot…?” Steve said, raising his arms into a boxing stance and landing a fresh round of punches to the bag.

“Clearly,” Elias quipped as he resumed holding the bag for Steve. “Just one problem, though.”

Steve quirked his eyebrow, intrigued. “Problem?”

“You put too much weight on your back foot,” Elias explained. “It misaligns your hips and makes it more difficult to shift stances if you need.”

Unfortunately, Elias was right. James had noticed it before on their missions, but kept it to himself. He wasn’t particularly interested in hearing Steve ramble on about the effectiveness of his fighting style and all the ways he used it. Steve didn’t ramble this time, but he did look reflective, like he was reviewing footage from his fights in his head. 

“I never noticed,” Steve said, nodding. “That might explain a few things.”

“If I may,” Elias said, pointing at Steve’s waist. “I could help you adjust your stance. Just a…reconfiguration.”

Steve smiled. “You wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all…” Elias drawled, letting go of the bag and approaching Steve. He went behind Steve and put his hands on Steve’s waist. “You just need to tilt your left hip up some more, so there’s less weight.” He squeezed Steve’s hips and tilted them so Steve's leg bore less weight. “Feel the difference?

“Yeah,” Steve said, shifting his weight between his two legs, pleased with Elias’s guidance. “I do feel lighter, wow.”

“I told you,” Elias said, squeezing Steve’s hips and directing them to move from side to side. “Freer movement. His thumb slipped down and stroked the divots of Steve’s hips as he once again directed Steve’s movements, making the faintest blush color Steve’s cheeks. “Let you feel the balance better. Try hitting it now.”

“Uh…thanks,” Steve said, turning to look back at Elias with an innocent smile.

So…not only was James going to have to kill Elias, he would have to figure out the logistics of scattering his remains across Iceland, and maybe Greenland if he could charter a boat.

“Do you require my assistance?” The Soldier asked from the back of James’s head. “I can neutralize him in 15 minutes.”

“Fuck off,” James muttered aloud. “I got this.”

James hopped off the treadmill while it was still running and stalked over to the boxing area with a murderous glare. Steve was just pulling back from a punch when James grabbed the side of the heavy bag, his metal fingers threatening to tear the bag open.

“Buck!” Steve’s gleaming eyes quickly faded when he read James’s expression. “Um…how was your run? Did you enjoy it?”

“Not as much as you’re enjoying this,” James said, his eyes locking on Elias behind him. “Who the fuck is this?”

“Buck!” Steve exclaimed.

“Elias Andersson,” Elias said, letting go of the left side of Steve’s waist to extend his hand. “Very cool arm. The pleasure’s all mine.”

James didn’t take the hand, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why are you both naked?”

“We’re not naked,” Steve sighed, stepping away from Elias’s hand.

“It’s hot and your friend here was putting me to work,” Elias said, winking at Steve. 

Steve returned the wink with a very subtle head shake, an unequivocal warning that Elias was playing with burning-hot metal. Steve was smart to warn him.

“You really think we’re just friends?” James asked, not appreciating how his question did nothing to Elias, not even a subtle gulp from his throat.

“I wouldn’t know,” Elias said coolly. “Grant and I were just getting to know each other. We haven’t had time to discuss past or present lovers…yet.”

Steve shuffled over to James and slipped his sweaty arm around James’s waist. “Buck…play nice. He’s been pretty helpful. He fixed my boxing stance!”

“Bully for you,” James said to Steve, dropping his metal hand from the punching bag and squeezing Steve’s hand. He turned back to Elias, his eyes narrowing. “Now that you know…”

 “You’re a very lucky man,” Elias said, still nonplussed and staring at Steve like he was a full-course meal and Elias hadn’t eaten in weeks. “And the jealousy looks good on you.”

“Buck…” Steve whispered, squeezing James’s waist in a silent plea.

“You about done here, Grant?” James said, turning to see Steve’s worried eyes and offering no reassurance. “We need to shower.”

“Um…”

“I figured Grant and I had another round,” Elias said, scratching his abs. “If Grant was interested. You’re free to watch, of course.”

“We’re not interested, thanks,” James said abruptly. “We’re done here.”

“Uh…it was nice meeting you, Elias,” Steve said as James grabbed their gym bags and slung them over his metal shoulder. 

“Hopefully it won’t be the last time,” Elias said, shaking Steve’s hand and glancing at James as he walked by them.

“Yeah, I’m sure—oof!”

James grabbed Steve’s arm and tugged him up the stairs to the sauna, deliberately ignoring Steve’s yelping at him to “slow down” and that he was “being stupid.” He practically tossed Steve onto the stone bench in the locker room, leaving Steve staring up at him in bewilderment.

”Strip,” James said, his tone unyielding, adding a curt, “Now.”

“Are you—”

“I won’t ask again, Stevie.” James dropped the nickname deliberately, signaling where they were headed. 

Steve’s face and back straightened, with him nodding in acknowledgment. “Okay, Buck.”

James turned to the lockers behind him and swiped his wristband over two of the doors, popping them open. He pulled out two sets of towels and placed their gym bags inside. When he turned back around, Steve was already naked, his pants, underwear, and shoes cradled in his arms. James laid a towel and a robe behind Steve on the bench, silently gesturing at the open locker. As Steve silently placed his clothes in the right open locker, James stripped naked himself and wrapped one of the towels around his waist. He sat down and waited for Steve to turn around. When he did, he reached for the robe next to James. James laid his right hand over the robe, leaving Steve confused but expectant, appropriately docile.

“What are you reaching for, Stevie?” James asked.

Steve opened his mouth to speak, but closed it quickly, clearing the answer from his throat.

”Why so modest, all of a sudden?” James leaned back fully onto the bench, his eyes roaming over Steve’s naked body. “Had no problem showing off before.”

“I wasn’t…” Steve stopped again, reconsidering his answer. “I was just…”

“I thought I told you…” James said, grabbing Steve’s hip with his metal hand and pulling him forward. “I told you everyone wants to fuck you. What? You didn’t believe me?”

“I…not…”

“Or did you like it?” James asked. “You liked the attention, didn’t you?”

James knew he was striking a nerve. Steve never said it outright, but he thrived on the attention he received from everyday people. James didn’t have the right to analyze, but he guessed Steve’s complex came from being unseen and discounted back in the past. If he were being too honest, James would admit that most of what he and Steve did in bed was reshaping Steve's thinking that he was undesirable or not worthy of being wanted that way. James had been incredibly successful in the effort, but he knew he was digging deeper by calling out Steve wanting to be wanted. It was dangerous territory, especially since the logical conclusion was that Steve wanted James to want him and that he wanted James to offer more than James thought he could. 

James was willing to take the risk, for now.

“You’re finally seeing what I see, huh?” James leaned in and brushed his lips over Steve’s stomach, his breath fanning over his abs. “Seeing people lust after you…wanting to fuck you…suck the cum out of your dick…how they’d do anything for just a taste.”

“Buck…” Steve’s harried breathing made his abs flex mouth-wateringly tight. 

“But you forgot, didn’t you…” James pressed his mouth to Steve’s abs, sucking one of the muscles until it was pink and Steve was whimpering. “It’s mine.” He licked up the center, tasting how Steve’s muscles trembled underneath his tongue, how the humiliation seeped into his sweat. “These belong to me, don’t they?”

“Buck…” Steve rested his hand hesitantly on the back of James’s hand and rolled his fingers through the thick strands of black hair. “You…”

James tilted his head to stare at Steve, the hunger and danger in his eyes making Steve shudder. He scraped and then nipped at Steve’s tight skin with his teeth, testing if he could go that far again. Steve panted, his broad chest heaving and his nipples tightening into stiff peaks. James reached up to rub Steve’s nipple, and he sucked on Steve’s abs, all while ignoring his burgeoning erection, the tip grazing James’s neck. James knew it was mean, but he didn’t care. Steve wasn’t desperate enough.

“It’s mine,” James said, tweaking Steve’s nipple and making him almost squeal, chuckling as his lips caught one of Steve’s abs in a tight flex. “And you forgot, didn’t you?”

“No!” Steve whined. “I wouldn’t—”

“But you did,” James interrupted. “I turn my head for one fucking second and you let some blonde fuck look at what’s mine.”

Steve’s erection jumped and nearly whacked James in the chin. James still refused to pay it any mind. 

“Bucky…” Steve’s hips jerked forward, trying to press his dick up to James’s face. He groaned when James smacked his hip in retaliation. “I…God, please…”

“Tell me you forgot, Stevie,” James sucked on the hollow of Steve’s hip. “Tell me you forgot you’re mine…and maybe…I’ll remind you.”

“I…” Steve’s words were shockingly, beautifully thin out of his mouth. “I didn’t…mean to…”

“Liar…” James rasped out over Steve’s skin, his breath leaving goosebumps over the top of Steve’s pelvic bone. “You did…you wanted to show off, didn’t you? Wanted to peacock for me, didn’t you?”

Steve tightened his hand in James’s hair, tugging it gently. James looked up and saw Steve’s eyes blown halfway to hell with need. In the corner of them was a glimmer of the reckless, stubborn bastard who had consumed James’s entire being. 

“Did…you…like it?” Steve panted his question, his tongue slipping out to lick his top lip.

“And there he is…” James grinned. “So you finally come out to play.”

In a flash, James shoved Steve hard into the lockers. He didn’t allow Steve a second to react before mashing their bodies together against the cold metal. James lifted his leg and ground his towel-clad thigh into Steve’s dick, the terrycloth rubbing roughly against the underside. He pressed his open mouth against Steve’s, swallowing his stunned wheezes and forcing his tongue as far as he could reach. He felt Steve’s arms try to wrap around him, whether to hold him still or pull him closer, he didn’t know. James quickly slammed them back into the lockers above his head, gripping them as he plundered Steve’s mouth and rutted against him.

James pulled back and inhaled the sight of Steve’s reddened lips. “I should tear you to shreds for toying with me like this,” he growled, throwing his head into Steve’s neck and sucking on his pulse.

“Or…” Steve moaned, rolling his erection into James’s thigh. “You can give it to me…”

“Fuck…” James rasped, grabbing Steve’s ass cheek and yanking him closer to rub against him harder. 

“That’s the idea,” Steve sassed.

“I’m gonna fuck the punk out of you,” James growled. “You’re not gonna remember your goddamn name when I’m done with your ass.”

“Captain…Steve…Rogers…” Steve said with a mischievous grin.

“Damn fucking right.” 

James pulled Steve’s thighs around his waist and lifted him away from the lockers. While Steve kissed hungrily up and down his neck, James swiped the towels from the bench and carried Steve through the locker room with only the metal arm wrapped around him. It was an unnecessary show of strength, but it made Steve ravenous. He pumped his dick over James’s stomach and sucked on his jugular, stealing one of James’s favorite moves. 

Even with Steve trying to tear the flesh off of him, James was steady enough to get them to the men’s shower room. It was another immaculate stone and marble structure, with private stalls and a large open-air one with multiple shower heads. It was also empty. James briefly considered going to one of the private stalls, but decided against it. Steve was too fuck-hungry to have an opinion either way, so James walked them over to the farther open showerhead. He whipped his towel off his waist, hung his and Steve’s on the wall hook, and turned the shower on, dousing them in wet heat. Steve squeezed his thighs around James’s waist and pulled his face forward so he could kiss James stupid. James stumbled under the force of Steve’s mouth, but quickly regained his balance by pressing Steve into the wall, his hard dick rubbing against the bottom split of Steve’s ass.

”Ah, ah, ah,” James said, backing away from Steve’s kiss-bitten lips. “Don’t push your luck, Stevie. I’m still pissed at you for giving your ass up for free.”

“I gave my chest up for free,” Steve corrected, smiling through the water streaming over his face. “Key difference.”

“You little punk,” James said, even though he silently admitted that Steve’s quip was funny. He wouldn’t give Steve the satisfaction of knowing that, though. “Need to remind you who the fuck you belong to.”

Steve smirked. “You should get started then.”

James couldn’t agree more. He shoved Steve’s thighs off his waist, making him wobble onto his feet. As Steve reconstituted himself, James gave Steve the attention he wanted but wouldn’t verbalize, his eyes taking in another favorite type of Steve: “Soaking Wet Steve.” This Steve, combined with “Workout Steve,” was a marvel. The serum made it so Steve’s workout was still fresh on his body. Every muscle was bulging, and his gold-tinted skin was still flushed pink from the blood pumping through his veins. The rest of his blood had filled his dick to make it hard enough to shatter glass, with his dickhead almost purple and his shaft throbbing shamelessly.

In other words, Steve was perfect, too perfect. Steve knew it, too. His eyes were begging for him to be devoured, even defiled. Steve deserved to be utterly debauched: his heavy tits sucked, his abs and hips licked, his asshole stretched, his beautiful dick left raw and aching, his balls drained. James was the only one who could do it right, who could turn Steve into a withered mass on the floor, mewling for comfort. And after that, James would rebuild and replenish him. That was James’s mission: to shave a few inches off Steve when his head and body got too big and too hot. Steve struggled with that need and want, too, but he responded beautifully here, his nerves frayed from James carrying him around like he weighed nothing. He liked that he was James’s, and it was critical that neither of them, nor anyone else, forgot that.

James was more than happy to offer a refresher course.

“Can’t believe you forgot that this all belonged to me,” James chided, reaching for and squeezing Steve’s right pec in his metal hand, his pinky finger flicking his nipple. “I thought you knew better than that, Stevie. All of this is mine.”

“It is!” Steve gasped, bucking into James’s hand and being pushed back into the wall by James, who squeezed and flicked at him harder. “Jesus, Buck, you know that!”

“Do I?” James asked, sighing in faux-defeat while he grabbed Steve’s other pec and groped them both, prodding Steve’s nipples until they were aching and red. “You’re still so needy, though. Flashing your tits for your little whore out there, letting him squeeze your tiny little waist. Fucking hell, Stevie.”

“He’s not!” Steve slammed his head against the wall, desperately filling his lungs with air with rapid breaths. “Please, Buck…”

“Please?” Buck asked, amused. “You have the nerve to ask me for something after what you did? After you teased me with him? What gives you the right?”

“You…” Steve moaned. “For…you…”

James moved in closer and lowered his mouth to the top of Steve’s chest, sucking just below his collarbone. “Yeah? And what about him, huh?”

“What about me?”

Elias’s voice cut through the shower’s thick fog to smack James and Steve in their faces. “Mortified Steve” quickly made his presence known, his stunned eyes locking on the man behind them. James looked over his shoulder to see Elias leaning casually against the marble ledge bordering the open shower, a white towel wrapped around his waist. He looked amused by the display and visibly annoyed that James was blocking his view of Steve. He did look over James, too, his eyes scanning down James’s back to his firm ass, and then back up to his face. James was surprised to see no attention paid to the scars bordering the metal stretching over his left side. Elias ended his survey with a quirked, appreciative brow.

“Can we help you?” James asked exasperatedly. 

“I was just here to rinse off,” Elias said coolly. “But it seems like you’re preoccupied.”

“We are,” James said curtly. 

“Buck…”

If you were fighting about me, I apologize,” Elias said. “I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”

“Elias, it’s fine, we were—”

“We were about to fuck,” James interrupted Steve, glaring at Elias.

“Buck!”

“You’re not even a thought in our minds,” James said, squeezing Steve’s pecs and making Steve let out a shocked moan.

“Somehow, I doubt that,” Elias said as he undid his towel, reveealing his long, semi-hard penis, and walked to the showerhead two down away from James and Steve. 

Buck grabbed James’s arms, trying to pull James’s hands off his chest. “Maybe we should take this back to our room…”

James snapped his head back to Steve and fixed him with the same steely glare from the locker room. “We’re not going any fucking where. And we’re not stopping any fucking thing. I want to fuck you. He wants to watch? Let him.”

“You…want…him to watch?” Steve asked unsteadily.

“I want him to know you’re mine,” James said. “And since I can’t kick his ass…?”

“You can’t,” Steve confirmed with an eye roll.

“I want him to see what he will never, ever…” James squeezed Steve’s pecs again. “...ever have. Because you’re mine, right? These tits are mine?”

Steve gulped and nodded shakily. “Yours…Buck…”

“So I get to decide what to do with ‘em,” James said, softening his tone until it dripped like honey from his lips. “And I want to show you off. You gonna let me? Show off your tits? Your tight little hole? Your fat fucking dick?”

James tugged on Steve’s nipple, which seemed to do the trick. With an airy whimper and soft, heated eyes, Steve exhaled slowly and nodded.

“You!” James barked and turned his head to Elias, who was just turning on the water for his shower. “I’m gonna fuck on Grant a little. You wanna watch? Go ahead. But you don’t speak and you sure as fuck don’t move a muscle.”

Elias smirked and gestured to his crotch. “Does that include my hand?”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

In truth, he did give a modicum of a fuck. James wanted that bastard to know who Steve belonged to and with, and that no amount of flirting, not-so-innocent touching of Steve’s small waist, and even masturbating was going to change that fact. There were less explicit ways to make the point, but he still had “Soaking Wet Naked Steve” in front of him, and his dick was starving for it. Plus, the other alternatives likely would’ve involved Elias in an Icelandic emergency room. Elias should’ve been so lucky that James was granting him a once-in-a-millennium peep show. He sure as shit didn’t deserve it.

“Make it good for your slut, Steve,” James whispered, leaning in to Steve’s face.

“...Got it, Buck.”

Steve parted his lips, expecting James to kiss him. Instead, James dovetailed to Steve’s chest, fixing his lips to Steve’s left nipple and sucking hard on it. Steve’s shocked cry reverberated across the shower room, startling Elias. Unperturbed by the sound, James rhythmically squeezed Steve’s pecs while he flicked over Steve’s nipple with the tip of his tongue. The taste of clean water and Steve’s distinct sweat was doing it for him, and he pushed even further, widening his mouth to cover the bottom swell of Steve’s pec. James loved feeling the curved muscle bunch and flex under his lips, making him suck harder, drawing sharp whines out of Steve’s throat and leaving pink marks on his skin.

With Steve’s pec still in his mouth, James glanced at Elias. Unsurprisingly, Elias was transfixed by the deliciously depraved sight of James and Steve. James wondered what it was for him, whether it was seeing Steve and his physical power succumbing so easily to James’s pleasure-filled assault, or seeing Steve’s modesty and grace crumble into wanton need. Or maybe he just liked seeing Steve’s tits being sucked. Whatever the case, James popped off Steve’s pec and moved over to the other, uncovering the red streaks marking the skin and the flushed peak of his nipple. Elias stared wantonly at Steve’s wrecked pec, confirming James’s theory.

James treated Steve’s right pec the same way, sucking kisses down the rounded swell and scratching his teeth over the smooth, wet skin until he reached the bottom curve. He framed the muscle with his metal hand and fit his mouth over it, sucking loudly while ruthlessly groping both of Steve’s pecs. Steve was far beyond gone, gasping and writhing under each rough squeeze and hard suck, gripping James’s arms for some much-needed leverage. Overwhelmed as he was, Steve was still trying to be good, letting James work his chest and not seeking more. He was also completely ignoring Elias, focusing on either James ravaging his body or the ravaging itself. James would’ve felt bad that Steve was paying Elias no mind if this wasn’t to emphasize that he wasn’t a factor in either of their lives. 

“Buck…I’m close…” Steve moaned, finally looking to Elias and back down to James, seeking his guidance.

“Mmmhmm,” James hummed over Steve’s pec. “Bet you are. I always treat my best guy right, don’t I? Leave you hard and aching, pushing you to the edge until you explode. You love how I take you apart, don’t you?”

“So good, Buck,” Steve whined, his hands squeezing tighter on James’s arms. “I need it, please.”

James moved his mouth down off Steve’s chest to his stomach, tonguing through his abs and nipping the taut skin. He dropped to his knees and sucked warm red bruises across Steve’s hips, lower abdomen, and pelvis, smirking at Steve’s trembles. James felt the heat from Steve’s erection under his head, knowing how Steve wanted him to put it in his mouth. The only thing James offered was the brush of his jaw against Steve’s tip, shaking his head when he felt precum streaking over his skin. He did finally pull back from Steve so he and Elias could get a good look at Steve’s erection.

James understood Elias’s look of hunger. Steve’s dick was mouthwatering: incredibly full, thick and long as fuck, and dripping wet with shower water and precum. When James gingerly wrapped his flesh hand around the shaft, Steve hissed, locking his knees and tightening his thighs so he wouldn’t shoot off the wall to seek relief. Impressed by his restraint, James started stroking Steve’s dick, squeezing his way up the shaft to coax out more precum out of the head. He fought the urge to lick up the silky strings as they dripped from Steve’s slit. He loved having Steve down his throat, but he wanted Elias to see how Steve’s dick throbbed when he came, shooting out rope after rope of cum, as far as humanly possible. Not sucking Steve wasn’t a terrrible sacrifice. After all, he still got to make Steve come. Plus, he would have the tremendous satisfaction of seeing Elias crumble in real-time from the cruel reality that he would never, ever be responsible for a Steve Rogers orgasm in his life.

“Ahhh…”

James saw Steve paw at his chest with his left hand, flicking his nipple and kneading into the surrounding muscle with his fingers. Steve arched into his touch, his abs stretching taut and his pecs bouncing as Steve rolled his shoulders back. James’s impeccable timing helped him catch Elias’s eyes widen and dart across Steve’s body, as if he couldn’t decide where to look. There was so much to see: Steve’s heaving chest, his tightening abs, his rolling hips, and his dripping hard dick on the cusp of climax. James and Elias locked eyes, and James could see a flurry of questions in them, the most prominent being, “Is Steve always this hot?”

“It gets even better,” James said with a mean smile.

With all his serum-enhanced power, James stroked Steve impossibly fast, faster than he probably ever had. He knew it would work, though. Steve gasped harder and faster, his muscles locking as he tipped towards an orgasm. James knew it was time when Steve tugged hard on his nipple and let it snap back into place, thinking that would do the trick. It didn’t; James was the one to pull the trigger on Steve’s orgasm. He smoothed his fist up Steve’s dick and rubbed the cradle of his palm over the fleshy, sensitive head. Steve fell back into the wall and cried out his release, filling James’s hand with cum. James used the cum to keep stroking him, making the shaft slightly sticky as James pumped out the rest of Steve’s orgasm onto the floor and James’s chest. When Steve stopped whimpering and his erection stopped throbbing, James stood from the floor and pressed Steve into the wall. 

“How is he still hard?” Elias asked in disbelief.

“I thought I told you not to speak,” James growled before turning his attention to Steve. “How you feeling?” he asked Steve gently, even though his slammed-shut eyes and heavy panting already gave away the answer. “Feeling worn out?”

“Fuck…” Steve moaned pitifully. “Just…fuck…”

“You’re not done yet, though…” James kneaded Steve’s erect shaft. “So needy. You got off knowing your little boy toy was watching? That turn you on?”

“No…” Steve opened his eyes, revealing flashes of sincerity and hunger. “You…”

“Oh?” James asked. “You liked me showing you off? Letting him see that this…” He stroked his hand down Steve’s dick and curved it around his hip to squeeze one of his thick ass cheeks. “...All of this is mine?”

Steve bit his bottom lip and nodded.

“Wanna show him how good I eat your ass?” James asked, his voice deathly quiet. 

Steve’s face flushed in delicious embarrassment. “You wanna…?”

“Damn right I wanna eat your ass,” James growled. “Shove my face between those fat cheeks and work your hole open for my fingers. You’re gonna ride my fingers until you come again, and then we’ll get the fuck out of here, how about that?”

Steve exhaled and smiled a mischievous smile. “Which fingers?” 

“Player’s choice,” James offered. “Although I think we want the same ones, don’t we?”

Steve picked up the metal hand and brought it to his mouth, sucking on the two of the fingers. James took over, slowly thrusting them in and out of Steve’s mouth while his other hand squeezed Steve’s chest again. Steve whimpered, but he kept sucking hungrily at the fingers, a couple of paces from being downright obscene. James treasured seeing Steve like that: his warm but stoic presence cracked open to reveal the desperate, passionate man underneath, embarrassed by how much he needed to be touched, kissed, and stroked. James was grateful, and the best way to express it was to eat Steve’s ass until he was sobbing in front of him. 

“Turn around,” James murmured hotly in Steve’s ear.

Steve flipped himself against the wall and stuck his ass out, without James even having to ask. James paused and indulged in the sopping wet display before him, knowing Elias was doing the same thing. His face soaked in the broadness of Steve’s back, how his extraordinary wingspan gently sloped down to his slim waist. For the sake of his sanity, he skipped down to the back of Steve’s thick thighs and shapely legs. Finally, James ventured up to Steve’s ass. Like the rest of him, Steve’s workout did unbelievable things to his ass. James had never seen it so plump and round, those sweet curves looking delicious. The only thing missing was seeing past those fat cheeks to Steve’s tight hole, desperately needing some of James’s thoughtful, nasty care.

“Jesus Kristus,” Elias said softly, his eyes locked in to Steve’s ass. “Otrolig.”

“It is incredible,” James said, surprising Elias, who thought his muttering would be too soft for James to hear and that James wouldn’t understand Swedish. “So thick, so shapely, and so tight inside. It could break your dick off.”

James came up behind Steve and gently squeezed Steve’s hips, his fingers dipping and stroking their hollows. He pressed his mouth to the top of Steve’s back and started sucking across the broadest stretch of his back. James then ventured downward, licking down the left side of Steve’s wingspan and sucking up the right side. When he finished, the top half of Steve’s sexy back was covered in soft pink marks, and Steve was trembling, his hands braced against the wall. James went back on his knees, his mouth directly over the small of Steve’s back, one of his favorite spots on Steve’s body. Knowing its sensitivity, James stuck his tongue out and licked softly over the dip. He reached around and grabbed Steve’s erection, giving it a few good strokes. 

After flicking his tongue at the top of Steve’s crack, James leaned back and spread Steve’s ass cheeks open. He let the shower water stream down Steve’s crack, and Steve gasped and clenched his entrance even tighter than it already was.

“You!” James turned his head and barked at Elias again. “Come here and look.”

Elias looked incredulous. “You told me not to move.”

“Consider this a reprieve,” James said. “But keep your fucking distance, got it?”

James waited for Elias to come a few inches next to him and kneel on one knee on the floor. He immediately heard Elias mutter “skittprat” at the sight of Steve’s thick ass spread open, his hole practically winking at them. James heard Elias’s breathing pick up speed and his hand slam to the ground. 

“Fuck…” Elias said softly. “Can I—”

“You watch,” James interrupted. “Nothing more.”

Before Elias could say another word, James leaned in and licked a long stripe up over Steve’s hole, stopping to lightly bite the top of Steve’s left cheek. Steve’s hips shot back, pressing his ass against James’s face and whining loudly. James kept from suffocating in Steve’s crack by spreading his cheeks wider and massaging the rounded flesh, knowing it would help him relax. He lowered his tongue back to Steve’s hole and steadily licked it, loosening it with firm, focused presses into the center of his rim. Steve whimpered as his hole started to give under James’s tongue, letting it spread open under the tip. James wriggled his tongue through Steve’s hole and licked around inside the furl to stretch Steve open. He pressed further between Steve’s cheeks and spit on the rim, rubbing it into Steve’s hole with his tongue, aiding his next push. Steve whined and rocked his ass against James’s tongue, seeking more of it inside of him. 

Satisfied with how wet and loose it was, James brought his metal forefinger to Steve’s hole, aware of how the cold metal would feel compared to the hot water streaming through Steve’s tender crack. He started slow, circling the finger over Steve’s entrance, feeling it clench in response and then release as James’s flesh hand kneaded Steve’s right ass cheek. Steve exhaled heavily, and James took that as a sign to press forward with his finger. Steve moaned as the finger pushed inside, his walls squeezing tight around the intruding metal digit. James leaned back in and licked over the stretch of Steve’s rim to loosen it some more. It worked, and James pressed his finger deep into Steve until he bottomed out. 

“Buck…” Steve slurred, his head overwhelmed by the heat and the pleasure. “Please…move…I need…”

James didn’t hesitate, slowly thrusting his finger in and out of Steve’s ass while his tongue and hand licked and squeezed Steve’s gorgeous ass. Steve took each of James’s thrusts like a champ, tilting his hips up for James to brush over his prostate. James ignored the silent request and pumped his finger until he thought it loose enough for a second finger. He pulled out and returned with the two fingers, pushing inside and making Steve rasp in delight. James moved slightly faster this time, crooking his fingers down to bump Steve’s prostate. Steve grunted and rocked harder on James’s fingers, panting as he felt James’s fingers press a bit harder on his spot.

“Check and see how hard he is,” James told Elias, who was transfixed on Steve’s ass.

Elias shifted to the right and peeked at Steve’s front. “He’s really fucking hard. It’s sticking upright. There’s precum…fuck…sliding down the head.”

“He’s close,” James said. 

“I’m not…I can do this—” Steve whined, sounding the exact opposite of his words.

“Don’t you even start with me,” James groused, pressing his fingers down into Steve’s prostate again.

“He’s dripping…you’re making him drip…what the fuck,” Elias said in utter disbelief and heated admiration.

“Please, Buck,” Steve gasped, pressing his chest into the wall, sticking his ass out further.

James could feel Steve’s upper body moving against the wall, and he had a pretty good idea of what Steve was doing. He did want some confirmation, so he asked Elias, “What’s he doing up there?”

“He’s…fuck…rubbing his chest against the wall. Fuck…they’re really fucking hard.”

“That needy for it, huh?” James asked, stroking Steve’s right cheek while plowing his fingers through Steve’s hole. “Need your tits played with?”

“I…I…I…” Steve’s inability to form another word was answer enough.

With his fingers still inside Steve, James carefully stood off the floor. He pulled Steve against his chest and turned them around so James’s back was pressed against the wall and Steve’s flawless frame and hard, heavy dick was on display fior Elias. Again, Steve ignored Elias, leaning back to kiss the side of James’s face and neck. James returned the favor by squeezing Steve’s right pec with his flesh hand and pulling Steve’s hard nipple with his thumb and forefinger. The touch made Steve light up, his torso arching outward and his ass pushing back, moaning as James took him apart on both ends. 

“Need you to stroke yourself…” James said in Steve’s ear, looking directly at Elias as he said it. “Need to stroke that fat dick of yours and make yourself come for me. You can do that, right?”

“I…goddamn it…I can…”

Elias smirked. “I would be more than—”

“Shut the fuck up!” James shouted, making Steve jump at the booming sound in his ear. More gently, James said to Steve, “Sorry; not my fault you’re hot. Now, get yourself off. Come for me. Want your tight little hole squeezing my fingers. Want to see you make yourself shoot all over the place.”

“Oh, shit…” 

Shuddering from James’s words, Steve quickly reached down and grabbed his dick, stroking it fast and wet. He gasped through his strokes and sought more pleasure by rubbing his left nipple. James looked down over Steve’s shoulder and watched Steve’s muscles flex and his dick throb under his fingers. Good as his view was, he knew Elias’s was even better. He got to see Steve’s gorgeous body and huge dick upright, how James’s fingers had Strve keening and stretching for more. When James looked over at Elias, Elias was leaning back on his left hand while he jerked himself off with the right. Again, Elias didn’t seem to know where to look. To his credit, Elias appeared to understand that he had an embarrassment of riches before him and reacted accordingly. He was still slightly disrespectful in how he ogled Steve, but, honestly, James got it.

But as much fun as James had been cuckolding Steve’s little whore of a sparring partner, he was ready to wrap things up and make Steve come. He started by shoving his fingers deep into Steve’s ass and pressing the tips into his prostate. He didn’t let up for a second, ramming Steve with pleasure with each push, never once pulling away. Steve struggled to stand straight, so James pulled him back by his chest and massaged his right pec with more forceful intent, adding soft twists of his nipple to make him whine. Steve knew what James was trying to do and met him by stroking his dick faster, gasping as the waves of pleasure crested over him.  

“Come for me,” James moaned in Steve’s ear. “Let me see you come. Let that little whore see you come. Shoot all over him…I know you can.”

Steve threw his body back against James, and James wrapped his right arm around Steve’s torso, lifting him onto his tip-toes. Steve cried out and with one hard throb, shot a thick, long strand of cum from his dick. James wasn’t serious about his command, but that first strand of Steve’s cum did hit Elias in his chest, as did the next four strands. Steve’s face was stuck between rampant embarrassment and rampant arousal, but he kept stroking, tilting his dick upward so the remaining strands landed on his chest and stomach. James worked Steve through his orgasm, lessening the pressure on his prostate but still keeping Steve’s hole full of his fingers.

A few moments later, Elias shouted “Fuck!” and came himself, his long dick shooting a surprisingly heavy load over his stomach. Steve and James turned to each other to try to suss out their reactions. Steve was way too fuck-dumb and physically drained to care that much, and James couldn’t have cared less if he tried. 

“You good?” James murmured in Steve’s ear as his arm pulled back and his hand rested on Steve’s hip, stroking it. 

“Yeah…Buck…” Steve didn’t sound especially convincing, but James let him have it.

“Rinse off and meet me in the locker room in 2 minutes,” James said curtly to Elias before pushing Steve forward and turning him into the shower spray, the water washing the evidence of Steve’s orgasm down the drain.

Elias stood up and washed off his orgasm under his showerhead, his eyes glancing over at how James slowly pulled his fingers out of Steve’s ass and tenderly held him by the waist, letting the water wash over them both. After a minute, Elias shut off his shower, grabbed his towel to wrap around his waist, and left the shower room, presumably to wait for James.

“I’m gonna handle your friend out there,” James said softly in Steve’s ear. “Finish up here, okay?”

“You’re…not…gonna…” Steve panted, reaching his hand back to squeeze James’s hip.

“I’m not gonna beat his ass,” James answered Steve’s flailing question. “I should, but I won’t. You did good for me, Stevie.”

James stepped back from Steve and grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his waist right before he left the shower room. When he entered the locker room, Elias was sitting on the bench, pulling his boxer briefs up under his towel.

“The modesty seems beside the point, doesn’t it?” James asked as he leaned against the lockers.

“For you, perhaps,” Elias said, looking over James’s body, stopping at the knot of James’s towel. “Well, that was fun.”

“It won’t happen again,” James said, pushing off the locker and approaching Elias, standing over him.

“Is this supposed to be a threat?” Elias asked. “Because it feels like one, and I don’t appreciate it.”

“If I were threatening you, you’d be dragging yourself on the floor to the exit,” James said. “Because I don’t make threats; I achieve results.”

“Duly noted.”

“You saw a lot more of Grant than you deserve, you know that, right?” James asked, ignoring Elias’s dismissive remark.

Elias smirked. “It was a hot ‘a lot.’ I suppose I should say thank you?”

“You should,” James answered. “Because it’s the last ‘a lot’ you’ll ever see.”

“Is that right?”

“Grant enjoys sparring with you,” James said. “And I want Grant to do what he enjoys, so I won’t stop you from doing that. But you looking at him the way you were? Touching him like you did? That won’t happen again, and I will know if it does.”

“You realize I literally saw you finger-fuck him, yes?” Elias asked incredulously. “Am I supposed to…what…pretend that didn’t happen?”

“I don’t care,” James said. “But if you ever make a pass at Grant again, I will know. And I promise…” He placed his metal hand on Elias’s shoulder and bent down to whisper in his ear, “They won’t be able to find your body.” He lifted and smirked as he saw Elias’s smirk fade into a stony expression. “Enjoy the rest of your stay.”

James walked back into the shower room to see that Steve had soaped himself up and was washing the remnants down the drain. James strided over to Steve and reached past him to get some shower gel in his palm. He started rubbing the soap over and down Steve’s back, covering him in suds, and pushed him forward so it could wash off of him.

“How badly did you threaten him?” Steve asked, looking back at James with a soft smile.

“I thought I was pretty restrained,” James said, slipping his soapy hand between Steve’s ass cheeks, making Steve moan.

“So…you’re telling me you threatened to kill him.”

“No…” James said. “I said they wouldn’t be able to find his body.”

Steve shook his head. “That’s a murder threat, Bucky.”

“It’s not,” James argued. “Them not being able to find his body could mean any number of things. Maybe he fell, cracked his head open, and slipped into the ocean?”

“I can’t believe you,” Steve sighed. “First, you bring me to a sex spa—”

“It’s not a sex spa,” James cut Steve off. “We just happened to have sex at the spa.”

“In public,” Steve added. “Which would only happen at a sex spa. And then, you threaten to kill someone who you invited to watch us have sex.”

“He needed to know that you’re mine,” James said, his metal hand sliding up Steve’s stomach and chest, cradling his pec. “I would say my method was very effective.”

“So I’m never seeing him again?” Steve asked after chuckling.

“He’s more than able to be your sparring partner,” James said. “But the second he steps out of line, you tell me and—”

“They won’t be able to find his body,” Steve interrupted, mocking James’s gruff tone. “Got it, Buck.”

“So…” James stroked Steve’s nipple, making it hard and flushed again. “You had a great workout, you had more good sex—”

“ Great sex,” Steve jumped in, squeezing James’s hip and making his chest warm up.

“Great sex,” James corrected himself. “And we still haven’t confirmed whether or not this is a sex spa—”

“Feels like it is,” Steve interrupted again, making James push his knuckles hard into Steve’s pec.

“Shut the fuck up,” James groaned. “So, are we staying or are you gonna punk out on us?”

Steve sighed. “How many days are we here?”

James smiled. “Here through the weekend. With an option to extend it, if we want.”

“We’re not doing that,” Steve said. “But…we can stay. Only if it’s not an official sex spa.”

“Worried your adoring public will find out that Captain America is a needy fuck who loves getting his tits sucked and getting railed at least twice a day?”

“Fuck off, I do not!” Steve slapped James’s hip. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Cap,” James said. “Now, why don’t we finish up here so I can fuck you proper. I want to spend at least two hours inside your ass.”

“You should’ve just fucked me here,” Steve said.

“And let that Swedish slut see you getting plowed open?” James asked. “I would’ve had to kill him.”

“Jesus, Buck,” Steve said, shaking his head again but with a smile breaking out on his face. “Fine, let’s go.”

James reached for the shower dial and turned the water off. He was just about to grab their towels when Steve grabbed his arm, stopping him.

“Buck…do you still have that card from Ida?”

James turned to Steve and didn’t bother hiding his amusement. “I do…”

“Make the call.“

Chapter Text

Steve and James were both right.

Because he was equally stubborn, Steve insisted that Natasha conduct her own background check on the Crystal Alcove. James was fully prepared to freeze Steve out for the rest of the trip, but then Steve threw him on the bed and rode him through a deliciously long orgasm. That, plus Steve furiously blushing through the call to Ida about the Alcove’s “intimate” program, was enough for James to agree to Natasha’s background check. The next morning, she called Steve with her findings while they ate their deluxe room service breakfast.

“You’ve gotta be joking,” Steve said, nearly dropping his fork of smoked salmon and pancakes on the table.

The Crystal Alcove was not an official sex resort. For all intents and purposes, it was the highest-end luxury wellness retreat imaginable in northern Europe, well-regarded for its mineral-enhanced hot springs and wildly expensive spa treatments. The owners were an obscenely wealthy offshoot of the Danish royal family. They largely kept to themselves except for the annual Crystal Ball, a charity event to benefit sick and injured children. To the untrained eye, the Crystal Alcove was boringly above board—no sex scandals, money laundering, human trafficking, or furry conventions.

“Bucky, what’s a furry?” Steve asked, looking up from the screen at James.

“Fuck no,” James said, shaking his head. “All you need to know is that this place has nothing going on, and you were being paranoid over nothing.”

“Not exactly,” Natasha said from Steve’s tablet, and James could hear the bemusement in her voice, which didn’t bode well for him.

While the Crystal Alcove appeared to be a milquetoast playground for the uber-wealthy, it wasn’t that simple. Natasha explained to Steve and James how, in recent years, the resort had built an off-the-books, extremely exclusive operation that catered to the sexual needs, desires, and appetites of its highest-caliber clientele. It was so off-the-books that the owners don’t know it exists, with any transactions related to sexual services and activities recorded on an encrypted crypto ledger. According to Natasha’s sources, none of the services or activities are illegal or in poor taste. However, the conservative jet set partaking in them have financial, social, and political interests that wouldn’t take kindly to indecent exposure. So, the Alcove’s “intimate” programs are hidden behind the shifty eyes of a minuscule group of staff members trained in sexual wellness and discreetly distributed calling cards, one of which Steve had used to request a welcome package.

“So…it isn’t a sex spa,” Natasha said. “But it isn’t not a sex spa either.”

“So I was right,” Steve said, nodding in self-satisfaction. “It’s a freaking sex spa.”

“You’re insufferable,” James groaned, stuffing his mouth with a large piece of pancake.

“You can spend the entire month at the place and never once encounter the intimate program,” Natasha explained. “You have to know what you’re looking for.”

“These are technicalities,” Steve said. “We were propositioned to do the sex spa stuff. How does that not make this a sex spa?”

James rolled his eyes. “The Widow’s point is that if you weren’t such a needy lay pleading for my fingers up your ass—”

“Buck!” Steve shouted.

“...We wouldn’t be having this stupid conversation,” James finished, taking another large bite of his pancake.

“This has been illuminating in ways I wish I could tell Tony about,” Natasha sighed. “Pretty sure he’d buy me an island somewhere for this information. Probably a villa in Italy.”

“Really, really, really appreciate your discretion, Nat,” Steve said sheepishly, even though his eyes were shooting daggers at James.

“What’s it gonna cost us?” James asked.

“Damn it, Buck—”

“The look on Steve’s face is payment enough,” Natasha said. “Didn’t know his face could get that pink.”

James scoffed. “You should see it when I lick—”

“I’m gonna go before you give Steve a heart attack,” Natasha interrupted. “Steve, the point is, it’s not a point worth worrying about. Partake, don’t partake, you’ll be fine either way. However, I will have the Quinjet on standby if you need rescuing from James or another horny Scandanavian.”

“Fuck you, Widow,” James muttered. 

“Thanks.”

“And James,” Natasha said. “I trust that you won’t subject Steve to anything else that will sully his Captain’s virtue, or whatever’s left of it?”

“That battle was lost a long time ago,” James said. “Right around when I swallowed—”

“We’ll be in touch, Nat!” Steve said hurriedly, shutting off the tablet, flipping it facedown, and staring at James like he had set fire to the American flag. “Seriously?”

“You realize that was a colossal waste of time and resources, right?” James asked. 

“Shut up and help me pick what we should do today,” Steve said, grabbing and opening the resort magazine.

“Thank you for admitting that I was right all along,” James said, drinking from his coffee mug.

“Sam was telling me about this tai chi thing,” Steve said as he opened the corresponding page. “They offer it at the VA where he works. His guys said it helped them with their restlessness and anxiety.”

“Sounds right up your alley,” James grumbled at the mention of Sam. He couldn’t help but add, “How naked do you have to be for it?”

“Nuh uh,” Steve said, his eyes still on the page. “Not taking the bait this time.”

“You’re the one who brought him up,” James said. “Unprompted. Again .”

“There’s this thing called Manual Lymphatic Drainage,” Steve said, reading off the next page and ignoring James’s dig at Sam. “Is your lymphatic system blocked up? How would we even know if it were?”

“The only thing about you that gets swollen is your dick after I suck it,” James said, getting up from the table and sitting on the bed. “We don’t need Lymphatic Draining.”

“ Drainage ,” Steve corrected, turning to the next page. “And that was so crass, Buck.”

“Point still stands.”

“I don’t get this eucalyptus wrap thing,” Steve said, flipping to the next page and looking quizzically at it. He looked at James and asked, “Why would someone want to be wrapped in wet leaves for an hour?”

“Is there a treatment in there you do get?” James asked.

“Not really,” Steve replied. His eyebrows then perked up. “Oh! Hot yoga!” He turned the magazine around so James could see the full page spread. “I took a few yoga classes with Nat in New York. It was fun, the stretching and the poses. It’s really for your back.”

“You sound so old right now.”

Again, Steve didn’t take the bait. “I don’t know if I get doing it in the heat, though.”

“I take it back,” James said. “Now you sound so old.” Steve gave him a straight face, prompting James to say, “Probably something to do with toxins, I guess?”

“Do our bodies even accumulate toxins like that for it to matter? I think we can pass on this.”

“If this is your roundabout way to get us to leave…” James said.

“It’s not!” Steve said. “It’s not my fault you picked a place that has all these overly complicated options.”

“It concerns me that you think these are overly complicated.”

“Like you know what a…” Steve flipped to another page. “LED facial is?”

“Again…” James sighed. “Who gives a fuck? Just pick something that sounds halfway interesting.”

“Jerk…” Steve muttered. He flipped through two pages, softly saying “no” to five options before he stopped, his head tilting in curiosity. “Okay, maybe I found something.”

“Good, because if you said no to one more thing, I was leaving you and going to spend the day in the hot spring.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Steve said. “But what about float meditation?”

James felt unease in his gut. “What’s that?”

“It looks kinda like float therapy…” Steve paused, his eyebrows furrowing. “You learn breathing techniques to help you center yourself, and…it strengthens the ties between your body and mind. Sounds interesting?”

Not to James; it made him cold inside. Neither his body nor his mind was an especially pleasant place to be or engage with at any given point in the day. He could make a reasonable argument for his body; Steve had spent months reawakening its possibilities amidst the unseemly tangles of nerves, muscles, and skin. His mind was a chemical wasteland, with acres of memories and emotions that he had deliberately avoided for his fledgling stability. Even if he had the nerve to try, there was also the matter of the Soldier on patrol in his head. James hadn’t written off the possibility that the Soldier’s existence in his brain was another HYDRA failsafe. The fact that he was even debating the existence of another identity in his head was plenty reason for James to reject rehabilitative treatments. He was still getting used to the idea that he didn’t need to quarantine for the rest of his life, another consequence of being with Steve.

“Uh…maybe we don’t need to do that one after all,” Steve said cautiously after he caught a glimpse of James’s expression, which he clearly failed to mask properly. “It’s probably stupid anyway.”

Steve rarely gave James an escape from a difficult conversation, and he should’ve taken it, but Steve’s pensive look made that impossible. “…What do you really think about it?”

“Nothing,” Steve said, clearly lying. “You know me; I can’t sit idle for too long. Can’t imagine what an hour would be like.”

“And yet you brought it up,” James pushed. He saw Steve’s rebuttal start to form on his lips, prompting him to add, “If you’re trying to protect me, stop it. I don’t need you to.”

“I’m not trying to,” Steve said. “Not really.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“It was dumb,” Steve said. “This is a vacation; vacations aren’t usually when people unpack all their emotional stuff.”

“What about us is ‘usual,’ Steve?” James asked, trying for a genuine half-smile.

“Shut up, Bucky,” Steve said, returning James’s half-smile. “You know what I meant.”

“Unfortunately, I do.” James took a deep breath to steady himself before he went all-in. “Do I want to dig around in whatever’s going on in my fucked up head? No.”

“Okay…?”

“It’s a mess up here,” James said, tapping his left temple with a metal finger. “You don’t know the half of it. I don’t know the half of it.”

“You seem…” Steve paused, trying to choose his words carefully. “Okay. Are you…not?”

“I can function, if that’s what you’re getting at,” James said, instantly regretting how testy he sounded. “I get by. But there are…places…I don’t go.”

“In your head.”

James nodded. “Mostly my memories. Memories of what I did with HYDRA–”

“What HYDRA made you do,” Steve interrupted firmly. “What HYDRA did to you.”

“Memories from before HYDRA,” James continued, trying to ignore Steve’s grimace at him ignoring the correction. “Memories of Bucky, of you. Feelings and emotions I can’t connect to. It’s all jumbled up there.”

“And…” Steve’s eyes fell to James’s metal arm. “The Soldier?”

“Yeah…” James said. “He’s mixed up in there, too.”

“Can I ask a stupid question?”

“If you must.”

“What’s he doing now?” Steve asked, staring at James as if trying to look through him. “Can you tell?”

“Not now,” James said. “I don’t know where he is all the time. Sometimes he’ll make his presence known. Other times, he doesn’t. But he’s around. Watching, observing. It’s what I would’ve done…back then.”

“I see.”

“So yeah,” James exhaled. “A mess. A mess I don’t want to mess with. Because who knows if I shift a block around and it all comes crashing down? What then?”

“Yeah…” The wheels in Steve’s normal brain were spinning, and James could feel the tension build as the silence between them stretched. After three minutes, Steve leaned back in his chair and said, “This is gonna be one of those times where you tell me to follow your lead, and I will, but I also ask that you listen to mine, okay?”

James simply said, “Go.”

“Even if I accept that your mind is messed up, which I don’t…” Steve’s tone was still cautious but less apprehensive, trusting that James wouldn’t bolt. “It doesn’t have to stay that way. There’s help out there.”

“No, there’s not,” James said, letting the coda, “not for me,” go unspoken.

“Yes, there is,” Steve said. “There’s a lot of help out there for you.”

James felt his veins start to turn cold. “Steve…”

“Hold on a minute,” Steve said, lifting his hand. “I’m not talking about medical intervention. I mean, that’s still an option if you want—”

“I don’t.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “You don’t want it, you don’t have to get it. But there are other things. Less intensive things. Nat says yoga helps her when she’s got a lot on her plate.”

James wasn’t well-versed in yoga, but he could place Natasha in an errant memory that had resurfaced recently. She had been stretching in what looked like the early morning, before they were supposed to be at the practice grounds for the day’s training session. He hadn’t asked what she was doing — he probably assumed she was doing one of the headmistress’s take-home exercises — but it looked somewhat effective. Her movements were more fluid and relaxed, and her demeanor was lighter.

“So maybe…” Steve continued. “Maybe there’s something like that for you? Maybe it is this stupid float meditation thing? Maybe it’s a start?”

“And what if I don’t want to start?” James asked. He wasn’t being glib; he genuinely didn’t know if he could or should.

“That’s up for you to decide,” Steve said.

“Really?” James asked incredulously.

“Really.”

“Why was that so easy?” James narrowed his eyes skeptically. “I was expecting more of a fight outta you.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Steve said. “I’ll never accept that you don’t deserve better than what you’ve gotten, than what you allow yourself.”

“But you’re laying off my heavily fortified defenses?”

“They aren’t that fortified,” Steve said. “Don’t think we’d be here if they were. But I’m going to try not to push. I want you to lead on this. I just want you to know where I stand.”

“And where is that?” James asked.

“By your side,” Steve answered. “Always…by your side.”

The unwavering commitment in Steve’s eyes nearly made James’s throat close up. It was one of the most ferocious things about him, and James still felt it unnatural that he hadn’t squandered it yet. He hadn’t ruled out the possibility that he would eventually do that. He did want Steve’s commitment, though. He didn’t want to want it, because that would mean losing it would destroy him. But James did want it and would dare say he needed it, too.

He also needed to shift the conversation before the growing heat in his belly burned him. 

“I have a proposition for you,” James said, leaning back in his chair. 

“Proposition?” 

“It’s really not that complicated.”

“Which means it is,” Steve sighed.

“How do you figure that?”

“Your ‘simple’ plan got us in bed with a super soldier who also happens to have some ancient magical powers locked away in drug-induced amnesia,” Steve said incredulously. “Or did you forget the reason why we’re here?”

James shrugged. “Your big dick is the reason why we’re here. And your big tits. And don’t forget your fat ass, too.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I’m calling Natasha back and getting the Quinjet.”

“Before you waste the Widow’s time,” James said. “Hear out my offer.”

“What is it?” Steve asked.

“We’ll try the meditation thing,” James said. “If you’ll be there, isolate me from everyone if something goes wrong.”

“No other place I’d be,” Steve said.

“I’ll do it…” James stood, walked to the bedside table, picked up the red ruby box, and dropped it in front of Steve. “And you have to do one of the things in the box.”

“...is that what I think it is?” Steve asked cautiously.

Indeed, it was. The ruby red box with the ruby red bow wrapped around it arrived earlier that morning while Steve was running 13 miles on the treadmill in the gym. Inside the box was the welcome package for the Crystal Alcove’s “Intimacies” program, which they now knew was an unofficial but real thing. Ida had told Steve on the phone the night before that it would arrive the next day. James hadn’t opened it yet; he refused to deprive himself of the chance to see Steve spontaneously combust multiple times as they unpacked the box for the first time together. Steve’s face quickly got hot and clammy, as if he were about to abandon his skin and run for the ocean.

“So, do we have a deal?” James asked. “Unless, of course, you don’t think you can handle it. Don’t want to push you to do something you can’t hack.”

It was a dirty trick for James to play, especially considering Steve’s genuine concern for his mental safety a few minutes ago. But he knew needling Steve about what he could and couldn’t do would hit him right in the self-righteous center of his brain. 

Steve knew it, too, his eyebrows crinkling as he took this particular bait. “Open the box, Buck,” he said firmly. 

“You do it,” James pushed, sitting back down.

With a closed-mouthed grumble, Steve undid the bow and lifted the top of the box open. He slowly removed the contents, all in red: an envelope, a medium-sized booklet with a fountain pen, a collection of oils, lotions, and lubricants, two pairs of silk blindfolds, two pairs of leather wristcuffs, a prostate massager, a dildo, and three different-sized anal plugs. By the time he pulled out the last item, a ring of metal and silicone cock rings, Steve looked like he was about to pass out. 

“You okay there, Stevie?” James said as he grabbed the envelope. “I’ll let you get your bearings back.”

“Thanks…” Steve held up the prostate massager in front of him.

The letter was addressed to Mr. Donaldson and Mr. Ewing, thanking them for partaking in their exclusive “Intimacies” program and hoping they would enjoy everything it and the rest of the resort could offer them. It also noted that the offering’s costs, which generally required a separate and discrete payment, would be covered by their benefactor, also known as the Schallenbergs.

“Well,” James said, amused while Steve looked outraged. “I guess you were right after all. Victor set us up, that whore.”

“And if I said we could leave in an hour?” Steve said, crossing his arms defensively.

“Gimme the booklet,” James said, taking it from Steve. “We have a treatment to pick.”

“This is insane,” Steve muttered.

“Shut up, you already agreed to do it last night,” James said as he opened the booklet.

“ I was tricked.”

“So let’s see…” James read through the different treatments and programs. “We already did the intimate float therapy, so that’s a pass.”

“You didn’t,” Steve said. 

“Hmmm…”

“What?” Steve asked.

“How about a perineal massage?” James looked up at Steve’s puzzled face. “The space behind your balls.”

“Oh…” Steve looked down at his plate.

“It says, ‘Discover the oft-overlooked pleasures of the perineum with focused stimulation, paired with gentle erogenous massages.’” James chucked. “Also says, ‘Sexual release is possible, but not guaranteed.’ Talk about hedging your bets.”

“What else they got?”

“If you’re looking for something more interactive,” James said, picking up the dildo. “There’s an Introduction to Sex Toys class. Guessing this is what these are for?”

Steve shook his head. “This is insane.”

“They have this thing called ‘Partner Sessions’ where you…” James hummed. “...Are paired with either an instructor pair or another couple to observe and exchange ‘intimate relations’ with them. This is that swinger thing I was telling you about yesterday.”

“My head hurts,” Steve moaned, rubbing his forehead.

“Then there’s Nuru,” James said. “A full-body contact, oil massage. You and either your partner or your instructor are naked for the massage. Again, ‘sexual release is possible, but not guaranteed.’”

“Which one is the least embarrassing?” Steve asked. “Because I’ll probably do that and then hide in the hot spring until we leave.”

“There’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about,” James said. “You’re offensively hot and everyone with a decently working eye wants to fuck you.”

“Oh…so I’m a lost cause for the blind?”

“Just tell them about your big tits and their imagination can do the rest,” James said. “And your voice is hot, so that’ll get them going without the visual.”

“Shut up, Bucky…”

“Let’s just do the perineal massage,” James said. “Damn, saying that out loud is so weird. “It’s just playing with your taint, and with how easy you can blow when you’re riled up, we probably won’t even use the whole time.”

“For Christ’s sake…” Steve groaned. “Make the call before I change my mind.”

James made the call, staring at Steve the whole time, enjoying his flustered face as James recounted the instructions he was given over the phone. The instructions were pretty simple: thoroughly bathe, collect whatever sex toys they’d like to utilize during the session, and come to the Serenity Room in the spa. For expediency and Steve’s look of horror, James prepared to bring all the toys except the leather wristcuffs. Steve refused to leave the suite until James agreed to leave the anal plugs and the dildos behind. 

“They’re redundant,” Steve said.

“Your dick isn’t good enough for you to be this annoying,” James said as he dropped the dildo onto the bed.

“Liar,” Steve shot back.

“Seriously, fuck me for giving you any kind of confidence,” James said, tossing the anal plugs out of the bag. “I’m gonna make you run on the treadmill with those in your ass.”

James and Steve arrived at the Serenity Room about an hour later, with Steve carrying the disappointingly lighter gym bag. Both wore white robes, white slippers, and nothing underneath, which Steve had fussed about on the way to the Serenity Room. Ida and two other staff members, a man and a woman, greeted them when they arrived. The man was new, a dark-haired, broad-shouldered Eastern European with a firm but respectful gaze. The short, blond-haired woman was not; James recognized her as the flustered woman who had handed Steve his marble suitcase when they arrived. She was less flustered this time, although her focus on James rather than Steve probably helped.

Steve recognized her too, smiling and bowing his head, “Nice to see you again, ma’am.”

“Hello, Mr. Donaldson…” The woman’s attempt at stoicism collapsed when Steve’s fake last name left her lips, her face breaking into a giddy smile. “And Mr. Ewing. I hope you’ve been enjoying your stay?”

“I don’t know…” James said, looking at Steve with a nasty grin. “How have you been enjoying your time, Grant? I know you’ve had some thoughts .”

Steve leered back at him before looking back at the staff and nodding. “You’ve been very gracious. Accommodating. We’re having a great time.” 

Ida didn’t seem to buy what Steve was selling, saying with a frown, “Please do not hesitate to share any and all feedback with us. Your comfort is our number-one priority, as always.”

“He’s being cranky,” James said, putting his metal hand on the small of Steve’s back.

“Cranky?” The male staff member whispered to Ida.

“American expression,” Ida whispered back. She then returned her attention to James and Steve. “We’re excited that you have chosen to participate in this specialized program. As we discussed on the phone, this exclusive wellness program aims to help you connect with the most intimate processes of your body and your partner’s body.”

“We’re very…” Steve was stuck, turning his head to James for an assist.

“Excited?” James finished for him.

“Trepidation is natural,” Ida said, smiling at Steve. “You are being asked to be vulnerable with your body and your relationship with your partner. But we do believe that these programs, as a complement to the Alcove’s more traditional programs, will help you feel more at home within your body.”

“Oh…” Steve said softly.

The energy shifted around them instantly, and James instinctively rubbed circles over Steve’s back, trying to ease his tension. He knew Ida’s words struck a nerve right where Steve’s complicated relationship with his body lived. They didn’t talk enough about how Steve struggled to reconcile the man on the outside with the man on the inside, how he sometimes still felt like his body wasn’t his own, a problem that Kaliningrad only exacerbated. James had accepted the mangled condition of his body, but he didn’t feel he had the right to offer Steve guidance. The cynical part of his brain doubted that a spa treatment could do much better, but he was willing to suspend it briefly for Steve’s sake.

“That sounds…good?” Steve looked at James.

“Good,” James agreed. “What do we do?”

“Darius and Freja will guide you through the session,” Ida explained. “Unless you have another gender preference that we can accommodate.”

“I think we’ll be fine,” James said, playfully rolling his eyes at Steve’s shy head nod.

“Then let’s begin!” Ida exclaimed with clapped hands.

Darius and Freja led them into the treatment room, which was cozier than they’d seen from the resort so far. The room was bathed in a soft, amber-tinted light, with a smattering of candles to add brightness. A mix of scents wafted from those candles; James quickly identified sandalwood and jasmine. Two long, wide massage tables sat in the center of the room, spaced about two feet apart and covered in silky, obsidian colored sheets. On top of the tables were two sets of towels, which Darius explained that Steve and James could change into while Darius and Freja left to handle the final preparations.

“Feels kinda unnecessary,” James said as he dropped his robe to the floor and held up the towel. “Aren’t we supposed to be naked?”

“Spoken like someone attending a sex spa,” Steve said, shrugging off his robe.

“Shut up, Steve.”

“Besides,” Steve continued, tying the towel around his waist. “And maybe I sound old-fashioned, but modesty is a virtue.”

“You’re right,” James said, reaching over and flicking Steve’s right nipple. “You do sound old.”

“Jerk,” Steve muttered while rubbing at his chest.

“So, here’s what we’re gonna do,” James said. “You take the girl, and I’ll take the guy.”

“Why?”

“Because the girl likes you,” James replied. “She looks at you like a superhero, which, well…Plus, I’m feeling particularly generous today.”

“Or,” Steve said. “You don’t trust the guy touching me and getting turned on, and then you’ll have another enemy at the sex spa.”

“Thanks for admitting that you know exactly what you’re doing.”

A few minutes after Steve’s exasperated groan, Darius and Freja re-entered the room. They had changed into matching sheer blue robes with “CA” stitched white on their chests. To the normal human eye, the low light would’ve obscured that they weren’t wearing anything underneath the robes, but James and Steve’s enhanced vision ignored that intended barrier. James could see Darius’s carved, muscular torso and low-hanging balls behind his short, thick penis, and Katerina’s tight nipples adorning her small, firm breasts. He wasn’t especially bothered, but Steve immediately lowered his head, trying to be respectful and hide his growing blush.

“Shall we begin?” Darius asked, oblivious to his pseudo-nudity.

While Darius fiddled with the small tablet near the door, turning on the sound of waves of water rolling over rocks, Freja told Steve and James that they would start the session by massaging their thighs as a warm-up exercise before shifting to the perineal massage. It sounded very clinical, which seemed to help Steve relax. She then asked if they had brought any toys from their welcome package, which made Steve slightly cringe again. Shaking his head, James pointed at their gym bag next to Freja’s table. She picked up and cleaned each toy with wipes, explaining that they were additive and didn’t necessarily need to be used, that it would depend on the session flow and their comfort levels. Darius stood next to Freja and offered what was quickly becoming the “intimate” program’s customary line: that all sexual responses were natural and nothing to be embarrassed about. If they needed to stop or pause the session for any reason, a discreet button underneath the table would turn the lights on. Darius and Freja would stop, no questions asked, and everyone would reassess. Finally, Darius said that the towels were also additive, but James and Steve could keep them on if it made them more comfortable.

“Our intimate clients are quite even with their choice of towels,” Freja explained. “Couples like you and Mr. Ewing tend to forgo the towels because they are comfortable with each other’s nudity, as are we. Solo clients tend to wear the towels for the preservation of modesty.”

“See, Buck?” Steve said. “Modesty is a thing here.” He sat at Freja’s table and asked her, “What would make you most comfortable?”

“Pretty sure she said she was comfortable with the towels off,” James said.

“Shut up, Buck.”

“You’re very kind, Mr. Donaldson,” Freja said shyly. “But your comfort is most important here.”

“My ma would disagree with you, ma’am,” Steve gently countered.

James sat down at Darius’s table. “You’re not modest or uncomfortable, are you?”

“Not at all, Mr. Ewing,” Darius answered with a less innocent smile. “Although—”

“We’re taking it off,” James said as he lay on the table and looked at Steve.

Steve shook his head in defeat and laid on his back, saying to Freja above him, “When in Rome…? Unless, of course, you don’t want to.”

“Please, Mr. Donaldson,” Freja said. “You are fine.”

“You are such a jerk ,” Steve whispered harshly at James, glaring as Darius undid James’s towel and let it fall off his hips, exposing James’s dick resting soft but heavy on his thigh.

“Eyes up here, Cap,” James taunted with a shrug of his eyebrow.

James’s gleeful upper hand crumbled when Freja undid Steve’s towel, giving him an unobstructed view of Steve’s nude body. James scanned over the smooth, unblemished skin glowing bronze in the low light, tightly covering his thick, curved muscles. His eyes caught on the hollow of Steve’s right hip, leading him directly to the soft, heavy length of Steve’s dick, stretching down to the near-middle of his thighs. James was suddenly struck with the likelihood that this session would be a problem for him. 

“Let us begin,” Darius said.

In perfect unison, Darius and Freja started stroking James and Steve’s thighs, their practiced hands working carefully and thoughtfully to loosen their muscles. James watched Freja’s deceptively delicate fingers press firmly into Steve’s flesh, leaving faint white marks that faded into flushes of soft pink warmth. Steve sighed when Freja’s thumb pressed inside his thigh, and he raised it slightly, exposing James to the faintly lighter stretch of skin there.

“Is that a sensitive spot for you?” Freja asked.

“Yeah, I think so…” Steve said.

It was. James usually preoccupied himself with Steve’s chest or his ass in bed, but James had noted in his encyclopedic knowledge of Steve’s body that the inside of his thighs were sensitive. He could spend hours with Steve’s legs over his shoulders, taking a break from sucking Steve’s dick to nip at either inner thigh until they were trembling and he was whimpering. It was a central pillar of his Steve Rogers philosophy: catalog every sensitive part of his body, down to the millimeter, and reveal their tender pleasures.

James’s body didn’t have the same tenderness. He knew he had objectively better thighs than Steve: his limbs were thicker and stronger, designed, trained, and reinforced by HYDRA to break through metal and bone. That meant there was no space for exploitable weaknesses. It meant that Darius’s fingers, while well-trained, would have difficulties affecting James in the way that Freja was affecting Steve. He could feel Darius kneading along his inner right thigh, mirroring Freja’s movements on Steve’s left thigh. The difference in their responses was stark. Steve’s breathing was getting deeper and slower, and his body started to move with Freja’s hands. James breathed the same, but his body was unmoved. 

“Your thighs are quite tense, Mr. Ewing,” Darius said as he moved his hands down to rub James’s hamstrings.

“Sorry,” James muttered, watching Freja do the same to Steve and getting his first honest moan.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Darius said. “It is part of the process. The goal is to relax your muscles in preparation for the perineal massage. While it is only one part of your body, the massage can lead to an impactful, full-body response. It can be overwhelming, so we prepare the largest muscles to properly feed the stimulation through your body.”

“Hmmm.” 

Darius’s words nearly made the cynicism in James’s brain re-activate. He believed that Darius believed his spiel, or that he was paid well enough to believe it, but he doubted Darius had encountered anyone like James. He wasn’t built for what Darius and Freja were selling. It was a miracle that James could feel what Steve had unlocked in him over the past few months. There were limits to what James’s body could process from a physiological and psychological standpoint. He accepted that.

James shuddered. His imagination was fucked, which meant he knew where his train of thought was headed. He refused to spoil the experience, at least not for Steve. He opened his eyes, not realizing that he had closed them. He wanted to refocus on what looked and felt good: Steve. His eyes had closed, too, and his face was relaxed, even when it twitched from Freja working on a tough or tender spot on his thighs. Her fingers were mere centimeters from the joins of Steve’s thighs and his ass, rubbing circles that moved further up his hamstrings. When her thumbs finally pressed into the creases of Steve’s thighs, he gasped and rolled against them.

“How are you feeling?” Freja asked Steve, which made James roll his eyes despite his bid to quash his cynicism.

“Good…” Steve cooed, his dick throbbing in agreement.

“And you, Mr. Ewing?” Darius asked, rubbing along the back of James’s right thigh. “Are you good?”

“Good,” James said less convincingly.

“Good,” Darius said. “We will move into the next phase of the session: the perineal massage. If you both could raise your legs so your feet are flat on the table, we’ll be able to reach your perineum more easily.”

“Remember, please press the button under the table if you need to stop,” Freja added.

With surprisingly no stumbling preamble, Steve lifted his legs as Freja asked, his eyes still closed. She stroked her thumbs along the bottom edges of his ass, getting closer to the split of his ass cheeks. Steve shuddered when she reached it, and James saw a small drop of precum form at the top of his dick. Freja kneaded the soft flesh at the bottom of Steve’s ass, nearly spreading his cheeks open, teasing a glimpse of what James imagined was his clenched-tight hole. Again, Steve rolled his hips, tilting his ass up into her touch and moaning. 

“Mr. Ewing?”

James was so stuck on the movements of Steve’s hips that he nearly missed Darius’s call. He turned his head up to him, and then down to Darius’s hands resting atop his thighs. James hadn’t lifted his thighs like he was supposed to. He felt a heavy knot form in his stomach at the thought of disobeying an order. It was especially strange because he wasn’t supposed to care about orders anymore. He hadn’t cared about someone else’s orders since he violated his programming and pulled Steve from the river. And yet, there he was, responding viscerally to something that wasn’t even an order; it was a request. He felt uncomfortable and saw in Darius’s eyes that he knew it, too.

“Sorry,” James muttered for the second time as he lifted his thighs. “Don’t know where my head was.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Darius said, patting his knee. “You are welcome to just watch your partner with this session. Freja is very good at this, especially with such a…good participant.”

“Easy there…” James warned. 

Darius looked amused. “I’m already spoken for, Mr. Ewing. But I’m not blind. You are a very lucky man.”

“Oh…” James felt stupid.

“Just try to relax,” Darius said as he started massaging around the middle of James’s hamstring. “Let your body feel it.”

Of course, that wasn’t something that James could just do . He might’ve been tripping over feelings that every person in the room would’ve told him weren’t his fault, but James knew that Darius was a good masseuse. He had strong hands that knew how to work with James’s tougher flesh. HYDRA had trained James to notice minute changes in his musculature, and he could tell that Darius’s efforts were having a decent effect. His thighs felt looser, and his brain probably had released some endorphins that normally would’ve helped him settle down. As good as he felt in clinical terms, everyone would be safer if James didn’t surrender as Darius suggested. He didn’t know how letting go would impact his mind, if some bubbling pool would explode while he wasn’t paying attention, or if the Soldier on patrol would turn his attention outward. There were too many variables.

“Bucky?”

Steve’s voice cut through the hiss of James’s thoughts. Steve radiated a sense of calm that naturally set James’s teeth on edge, which he probably could blame on Freja and her expert hands. There was something more, though. Steve knew something was wrong with James, but he didn’t convey worry or concern. His eyes were intentional, a hint of playful teasing in one eye and serenity in the other. James didn’t know what to make of them, especially since both of Steve’s eyes looked like they wanted to swallow him whole.

“Look at me,” Steve said with a soft but sturdy tone. “It’s just you and me here, okay?”

James couldn’t help scoffing because it wasn’t just them in the room, but he immediately felt bad and decided to meet Steve halfway. He nodded, more shakily than he intended, and concentrated on Steve again. Freja had moved to his perineum, her left thumb kneading light circles into the tender spot while her right hand pressed into his pelvis. Steve closed his eyes and moaned at her thumb’s firm press, his head falling back and his torso extending, making his muscles pop and flex. His dick bounced from the stretch, and a firmer press of her thumb sent a thin strand of precum dripping onto his stomach. If the purpose of the session was for Steve to embrace the pleasures that his body was capable of, it appeared to be a resounding success. Steve might’ve been naked in front of two strangers, his dick shamelessly throbbing and leaking, but he wore no embarrassment or shame. He looked magnificent, stunning, and viciously hot. 

“God, Buck…” Steve gasped as her fingers massaged the flesh of his pubic bone. “Fuck, that’s good, Christ.”

Not that he doubted Steve’s sincerity or the potency of Freja’s hands, but James did sense that Steve might’ve been embellishing his reactions a little. There was an extra crackle in how he moved his hips and stretched his body, and a few extra beats when he moaned. Steve may have been sensitive and needy by default, but he was definitely putting on a show for James’s benefit. He was enjoying it, too. Steve would deny it, but he liked showing off. James understood it as a consequence of Steve’s time “performing” as Captain America for the Allied troops in the 1940s, before he had rescued Bucky from HYDRA and truly became Captain America.

“I don’t know,” Steve had said one evening in bed at the apartment, staring at the ceiling while James’s metal fingers skimmed over his ribs. “It’s stupid, but I feel like I have to prove myself. That Dr. Erskine was right to pick me, that I’m giving it everything I’ve got.”

“It’s not stupid,” James said. “You’re just full of shit.”

Steve looked down at James, visibly offended. “Buck…”

“Stop being dramatic,” James said, poking at Steve’s side. “I’m saying that it’s not just that. You get off on it.”

“Get off on what?”

“You like helping people,” James explained. “It makes you feel good.” He saw Steve open his mouth to interject and poked him harder, shutting him up. “You need purpose to function, and knowing that people recognize what you do for them fills you up, sustains you, keeps you going.”

“You make me sound vain,” Steve said softly.

“So what?” James asked, rolling over on top of Steve. “So you like peacocking, showing off what you can do. Who gives a fuck? No one can do what you do.”

“You can,” Steve said.

James frowned. “I’m not you. I don’t want to be you.”

Steve frowned back. “Thanks for that.”

“There’s no one like you,” James said. “Frankly, the world doesn’t deserve what you give it. So, you’re allowed to feel good about it. You’re allowed to want to feel good about it. Show off. Peacock with all your spins and flips and that other stupid shit you do on the television.”

“You’ve watched me on TV?” Steve asked.

“You’re so annoying.” James tried to roll off Steve, but Steve’s arms wrapped around him, rubbing his spine. “Get off me.”

“So…” Steve said. “You like it when I show off?”

“You’re hard to miss,” James said dismissively. “Spinning around like a fucking ballerina.”

“So that’s what did it.” Steve grinned. “The spinning kick in Malaysia. That’s why you tackled me to the floor when I got back. I got rug burn because my spin kick turned you on?”

“Shut the fuck up, Steve,” James grumbled before Steve’s hand slid up to the back of his neck and pulled him down into a slow, deep kiss. He broke away to add, “And fuck you, the serum makes it so you don’t get rug burn.”

“Tell that to my butt,” Steve said, pulling James back down into another kiss.

Now, Steve was performing for him again, and the wanton display was doing it for James. They were caught in an intoxicating feedback loop, where Steve fed James’s unabashed ardor for his body, and James’s hungry admiration turned Steve on even more. Steve writhed and panted more on the table, resisting the urge to touch himself by clenching the sheets in his fist. James wasn’t as far along as Steve was, but he felt his nerves thawing out, ready to accept the stimulation from Darius’s hands. He had kept his hands on James’s upper thighs, probably sensing James wasn’t quite ready. James slowly exhaled, hoping Darius would get the hint so he wouldn’t have to say anything out loud.

Thankfully, Darius did. He moved his hand up and over the back of James’s thigh and pressed a finger softly into James’s perineum. James felt a bright flash that made his lungs skip, but it didn’t linger. It was something, though, and James wanted more. Darius massaged the spot, and warmth spread gradually through James’s groin and to the bottom of his spine. He felt some soft pulses roll through his dick, and looked down to see his shaft thickening against his stomach. 

“Doing real good, Buck,” Steve said to James. “But you need more, don’t you?”

Once again, James had the opportunity to be glib and didn’t take it. He nodded instead, and Steve smiled back at him. “Darius, I think he needs…”

“A firmer touch,” Darius finished for Steve. “I can do that.”

Before James had a chance to feel awkward, a hot blast of pleasure tore through his lower body. That firmer press into his taint left James’s head fuzzy, with him panting to fill his lungs with desperately needed fresh air. Darius kept on James’s perineum, rolling his thumb evenly across it. James’s head fell onto the table, and he rolled a little onto his metal shoulder to stretch his muscles and keep his eyes on Steve. 

Steve looked a little less serene and a lot more aroused, his sparkling blue eyes darting from James’s face to Darius’s hands between James’s legs, and back again. The hunger kindling in Steve’s expression further sharpened James’s pleasure. Sparks spanned the width of his back, molten heat pooled in his crotch, and precum dripped from the head of his dick. James followed Steve’s lead and grabbed the sheets in both hands. 

“Goddamn it,” Steve moaned, his hips thrusting in the air, sighing in frustration when they fell back onto the table. “Fuck…”

“Allow the stimulation to run through you,” Freja said as she carressed the skin surrounding the base of Steve’s dick. “You don’t want to fight against it.”

“You…fuck… don’t know…ah…who you’re talking to,” James panted as Darius repeated the same action on him. “Fighting is his default setting.”

“Shut up!” Steve gasped loudly, his torso’s muscles tensing to keep from shooting off the table. “God…I think I’m gonna come.”

Freja laid her hand flat over Steve’s pelvis, only making him twitch and tremble more. “Not yet,” she said. “It was just a spasm. You are very sensitive, aren’t you, Mr. Donaldson?”

James bit his lip to avoid moaning or laughing as Steve looked at Freja and answered with a fierce blush, “A little bit, I guess.” When James inadvertently snorted, Steve’s head snapped back to him and said, “Don’t you even dare.”

James’s brain cells started firing at the mention of a “dare.” Nothing riled Steve up more than a challenge, and they were both headed towards an orgasm relatively soon. James, however, was a couple of paces behind Steve, which he could use to his advantage. Two world-shaking climaxes at Steve’s expense were too good for James to pass up.

“You doing okay over there, Cap?” James asked, smirking at Steve’s increased squirming on the table as Freja kept at his taint. “Seems like you’re struggling over there.”

Steve’s eyes twinkled through his hardening glare at James. “Really? You’re playing it this way now?”

“Playing what?” James asked. “Just want to—Fuck!” His taunt was interrupted by Darius stroking two fingers up and down his perineum, almost slipping into his crack and making his dick leak a long strand of fluid.

Steve scoffed. “You were saying?”

“Making sure…you’re doing alright…” James tried collecting himself, but the tingling along the crown of his dick made it difficult.

“Speak for yourself,” Steve said, sounding too smug for James’s comfort.

It made James want to play dirty. “I think we’re ready for the toys now.”

Steve’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “What the hell—”

James looked at Freja with one of Steve’s warm smiles, hoping it didn’t look strange. “I think we feel very connected to our bodies. Pretty sure we’re ready for the next level.” He looked at Steve, knowing he was about to lower the boom. “Unless, of course, you don’t think you can handle it, Cap.”

Once again, Steve took the bait and sneered. “We’re ready.”

“Bringing the toys in right now might be—” 

“Get the toys,” James and Steve ordered in near-unison, abruptly cutting off Darius’s attempted intervention.

Darius looked at Freja and shrugged. They picked up and turned on the two prostate massagers from the gym bag, testing the four speed settings. Steve’s shyness was slipping through his defiant expression, and James reached over with his metal hand and squeezed Steve’s bicep gently, supportively.

“Awww, Stevie,” James whispered with another fake smile. “I promise…we’ll stop by the recovery room after your dick explodes. They have something called IV therapy. I think you’ll need it.”

“Screw you,” Steve muttered. 

James tapped Steve’s bicep. “That’ll have to wait until you recover.”

“So, I think we should get started with the lowest setting and gradually—”

“Start with the third one,” Steve interrupted, turning away from James’s stunned face to smile at Freja. 

“Um…” Freja looked concerned. “I think that may be—”

“Are you crazy?” James hissed, not caring that Freja was getting interrupted a second time.

“If you can’t handle it…” Steve mused, throwing James’s words back at him. 

“You fucking punk.” James turned to Darius. “You heard the man. Set it to the third one.”

Darius looked more amused than concerned. “Are you—”

“Do it,” James growled.

The buzzing of the two massagers filled the room, drowning out the water-and-rocks white noise. James and Steve stared at each other with excitement and pride, neither willing to let the other win out. It was probably a stupid,  reckless game to play with their bodies, but James found it thrilling and hot. There was little better in the world than Steve and James egging each other, finding new and creative ways to push their bodies to the brink until they exploded. From the cocky glint in Steve’s eye, James knew Steve felt the same. 

“Good luck…” Darius said before he and Freja held the toys to James and Steve’s perineums. 

Steve nearly choked on a cry, and James gasped loudly, as powerful pulses shook their lower bodies. The vibrations relentlessly scratched over James’s muscles, veins, and skin. He felt them crawling up his dick and scraping between his ass cheeks, his hole squeezing tight in a pathetic attempt for relief. There was no relief: everything, from the top of his dick to the top of his crack and every inch of flesh between, was throbbing and aching with no end in sight. It was maddening and exquisite.

Whatever James was feeling, he knew poor Steve was feeling it tenfold. Steve looked helpless on the table, his torso curling and lengthening as the massager sent shockwaves all over his body. His face and chest were damp with sweat, with several drops framing his hard, tight nipples. His dick was so heavy and swollen that it was tipping over onto his stomach, leaving a tiny pool of precum on the taut skin under his belly button. The toy had turned the firm bugle of his taint pink, and James swore he could see it was throbbing. It wasn’t until he saw the muscles of his ass flexing that he realized Steve was clenching and releasing his hole, too. He whimpered with each rhythmic squeeze, suddenly desperate to come. 

“Buck…” Steve started to whine before he shut his mouth. 

“Told ya…” James’s voice rumbled as he tried to suppress his moan.

“Shut…it…” Steve breathed out, trying to smile. “I can…do…”

“Your dick says another five minutes, tops,” James sneered, trying to ignore Darius’s thumb tracing the bottom of his crack while he held the massager firmly on his taint. 

“Oh, God…” Steve’s eyes rolled back when Freja rubbed the massager in circles.

James’s head was spinning from Darius doing the same, with the added torture of the toy bumping his crack, sending aftershocks straight to his hole. As close as he was to coming, he couldn’t help but focus on Steve’s fragile condition, or how badly he wanted to drown in it. He could taste the precum spilling from Steve’s tip and the faintly salty sweat misting his chest. He was pretty sure the feeling of Steve’s perineum vibrating with the toy would kill him, but he didn’t mind as long as he could lick and suck on it for a few minutes before he died. 

“What are the rules on touching?” James panted at Darius, straining his eyes to rid himself of the double vision. “Like to take the edge off?”

“What fucking edge?” Steve groaned. 

“We would recommend avoiding your erections,” Freja answered for Darius, looking down pointedly at Steve’s heavily flushed dick. “But other body parts and erogenous zones are acceptable.”

“Fuck yes,” James growled, slapping his metal hand over Steve’s right pec and squeezing. 

The sudden touch sent Steve into a frenzy, with him jackknifing into James’s hand and pumping his hips against the toy. Worried Steve was about to throw himself off the table, James pressed into his chest to hold him still while rolling Steve’s hard nipple under his forefinger. The metal weight forced Steve to calm down a bit, but he kept moving against the toy, bringing it closer to the split of his cheeks. Without an ounce of shame, Steve pushed so hard against the toy that it started spreading him open. 

“God, that’s hot,” James moaned, tweaking Steve’s nipple to make him do it again. “So fucking hot.”

“You’re…cheating…” Steve whined, pitching his chest up to chase after James’s fingers. “I can’t…gonna…come…shit…”

James felt another rush of vibrations brush over his hole from the toy against his ass, and the way the rim squeezed tighter than before was a sign that he was getting close. He doubled down on Steve in retaliation, massaging his pec and alternating between flicks and tugs of his nipple, each touch ending with a sharp tingle that made Steve keen. James really wanted to lean over and suck on Steve’s thick muscle, but after already blowing up the boundaries of the Alcove’s intimate program, he restrained himself. He didn’t even need to, not with how Steve was fidgeting and wailing. His heated, golden skin looked like it was about to peel apart at the seams.   

“Come,” James said, plucking harder at Steve’s nipple. “Just come. Lemme me see it.”

With a cry sounding like it was snatched straight from his gut, Steve climaxed, spilling ropes of cum onto his stomach. James grabbed Steve’s shaft with his metal hand and stroked it fast, making Steve arch his back and shoot the rest of his orgasm onto his abs. When Steve finished, he fell onto the table with a thud, trying to catch his breath. 

James fell back, too, left to deal with his own imminent orgasm. Darius still had the massager pressing into his perineum, and the buzzing was still strong throughout his crotch. He could feel it at the base of his dick, a controlled throbbing that left a delicious ache in his bones. It wasn’t moving anywhere, though, not advancing or receding. It was stuck, a pulsating heat that made his muscles tight, with no sign of release. James shut his eyes and tried focusing squarely on that sensation, trying to crack it open by sheer force of will. It wouldn’t budge. 

He tried something else. With his Steve out of commission, he conjured another one in his head. He continued the same memory from before, with Steve holding him by the neck as they kissed, his tongue flicking up into his mouth. James had gotten distracted kissing Steve, and Steve used it to flip them over, climbing over him and settling his muscled bulk on James’s waist. James could feel his imagined erection pressing between Steve’s cheeks, his tip rubbing at the slightly loose rim, still wet with his cum from earlier. As much as James had wanted to push back inside him, Steve had other plans. With a naughty grin, Steve pressed his hands into James’s chest and rocked his hips, rolling his hole wetly over James’s shaft. It was Steve being a tease, and despite his protests, James loved it when Steve was a tease. 

And yet, he still wasn’t closer to coming. James kept his eyes closed, but his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, trying to figure out what was wrong. Steve riding him naked was a no-brainer turn-on. He had a library of images and audio to draw from, and they all usually aroused him without incident, working him up until he either jerked off or, preferably, found Steve somewhere and threw him into the nearest flat surface. Here, his imagination was failing him. James knew his imagination was fucked, but he was worried that it was more fucked than he realized. 

What if the connection between his imagination and his body was damaged? What if HYDRA designed another failsafe, and he had triggered it somehow from all the times he indulged in it? What if he wasn’t meant to have an imagination, or didn’t actually have one? God forbid, what if the Soldier was cutting the cord to his imagination because it was extraneous to his mission? What if the Soldier controlled his imagination, because he was a figment, the figment, of it?

“There you go…”

James’s spiral was interrupted by Steve’s voice. However, James didn’t remember Steve saying that in his memory. Steve had been much haughtier, grunting and breathing against his lips as he grinded into him. He also didn’t remember firm, stroking pressure moving up and down his dick. He felt it, though, the squeezes along his shaft, just as he liked. Slowly, James opened his eyes and saw Steve, the real Steve, looking down at him with warm, blissed-out eyes. He followed the movements of Steve’s arm to where Steve’s hand was slowly jerking him off, already wearing strings of his pearly precum.

“Just you and me,” Steve said, his voice still weary from coming but unassailably assured. “Come for me, Buck.”

Suddenly, James felt a dam break inside of him. Pleasure rushed through his veins, the speed of it taking his breath away. His body started shaking, and he could feel, down to the molecule, Steve’s steady hand stroking his dick, pulling his orgasm from the wedge it was lodged inside. Steve kissed James, and with one firm twist of Steve’s fist, James shattered. He gasped into Steve’s mouth as his orgasm burst forth, painting Steve’s hand in cum. James reached up and cupped the back of Steve’s head with his metal hand, pushing their mouths together as they rode out his climax together. Even though the spasms of his dick stopped, he kept thrusting into Steve’s fist in a bid to keep it all going.

It did eventually stop, with Darius turning off the massager and the sensations receding alongside Steve’s hand. Steve rested his hand on James’s stomach, lifting from his lips to smile at him. 

“I thought…you weren’t supposed to…touch my dick,” James said through an exhale as he sat up on the table. “Cheater…”

“You started it,” Steve said, chuckling through his petulance and kissing James again before sitting back on the table.

“Technically, there are ten minutes left in the session,” Darius said. “But I believe we can call it, right, Freja?” 

“Yes,” Freja said, nodding.

“I’m…uh…sorry if I made a mess,” Steve said to Freja, his eyes looking down at his semen-covered stomach and hand.

“No apologies are necessary, Mr. Donaldson,” Freja said with a happy smile. “We have a private shower that way for aftercare activities.” She pointed to the door to the right of the room. “I do hope the session was rewarding for you.”

“It was…intense…” Steve said, looking at James. “Very…intense.”

“The goal of this and the other treatments in the intimate program is to open your body up to all of the pleasures it can experience,” Darius explained. “‘Intense’ is meant to serve as a baseline.”

“So you’re saying it gets worse from here,” Steve quipped as he wrapped himself in his towel.

Darius smiled back. “Quite worse, yes.”

“I think we’ll manage,” Steve said, reaching over to squeeze James’s thigh. “Right, Buck?”

James nodded silently as he tied the towel to his waist. 

“We’ll leave you two to clean up and get dressed,” Freja said. “You can use the tablet on the door to select another session for this evening, if you want. And please be sure to share any feedback in the comments section!” Darius and Freja left the room, leaving James and Steve alone to collect their belongings.  

“Well…” Steve started. “That was a lot.”

“Yeah…” James said, still trying to get his bearings and ignore the itch at the base of his skull. “Surprised you survived it.”

“Fine,” Steve sighed in defeat. “It wasn’t all that bad. I mean, I’ve done more embarrassing things…I think.”

“Like prancing around for the troops with those little wings on your helmet?” James asked, bringing forth the memory again.

“I told you that in confidence,” Steve said, smiling. “And you use it against me. You’re such a jerk.”

“The costume is literally in the Smithsonian,” James said, standing up. “Kids take pictures in front of it. Every single day.”

“I should’ve reclaimed it and burned it,” Steve said, shaking his head. “What did you think?”

“About the costume? It’s really freaking stupid, so it suits you.”

Steve groaned. “No. I meant the session that you made us sign up for? Do you feel more in touch with your body?”

James’s eyes narrowed, and he answered with a short and snappy, “No.”

Steve looked up at him, confused. “Uh…okay. If you didn’t like it, I get it. It really was a lot, and maybe it was too—”

“Stop,” James said, shaking his head, realizing what he said and how he sounded. “I didn’t mean it. I was being a jerk.”

“Buck…” Steve said softly.

“No, really,” James rushed out. “I was annoyed because…” He decided to follow the adage that the best lie had some truth to it. “...you came before me, you little punk.”

“But…wasn’t that the point?” Steve asked. “A race…or something…?”

“Yeah, but then I realized you have more orgasms under your belt than I do since we got here,” James said. “You’re so freaking needy. I got pissed. Told you it was stupid.”

“Bucky…”

“How about…” James pulled Steve up by his shoulders to stand in front of him. “We go shower, and you help me catch up? Stop hogging all the orgasms, huh?”

James saw Steve fighting with himself about whether to push further. “Well…if you insist…maybe could offer up one…because I’m feeling generous, after all.”

James tried to box in his relief. “So generous.”

“I do my best,” Steve said with an uneasy smile. “Let’s go.”

Steve’s fingers curled around James’s metal wrist and tried tugging him towards the bathroom. James delayed as the gears in his mind started creaking along, worrying about the state of his mind and body. He worried he might’ve set something in motion that he and Steve would regret. After the fifth second, he let Steve pull him towards the bathroom, silently hoping the water would wash it away.

Chapter Text

James had a plan.

It was ingenious, too, born from Steve blowing him in the shower after their perineal massage session with Darius and Freja. James could confront the nagging, intrusive questions in his head, or worse, have Steve catch on to them and confront him. Or, he and Steve could have sex. Lots of sex. 

The logistics worked. James and Steve didn’t have true refractory periods, and their sexual appetites were voracious even on an off day. Given where they were and what they had found themselves doing, there were plenty of opportunities for uninterrupted arousal. If James played his cards right, he could screw Steve in every possible position known to man, and those yet to be discovered, without having to think about his precarious emotional state. As long as some part of him was inside or around Steve, making him spew load after load until he was drained, James would be satisfied. 

He was on Steve from the second they left the Serenity Room. He used the time on the way back to the tower where their suite was to discreetly touch Steve, leaning close into him so as not to be caught for public indecency. Before they went inside, James saw a reasonably secluded corner on the side of the building, somewhat shrouded by unnatural foliage and bordered by an artificial stream. He quickly pulled Steve over to the corner.

“What are you doing?” He asked, a silly question considering that James’s lips were on his neck and his hand was parting the bottom slit of his robe. 

“I can smell how turned on you are,” James said, loudly sniffing Steve’s neck while he rubbed the inside of Steve’s thigh.

“You’re not an animal, Buck,” Steve scolded, swallowing back a laugh and a moan as James sniffed him again and played with his balls.

“And yet, here you are, smelling like you wanna come.”

“Can’t you at least wait until we get upstairs before you start humping me?” Steve asked, his hands on James’s hips, not pushing him away.

“Already having second thoughts?” James asked back, slipping his hand to curve around Steve’s ass.

“Assessing our options,” Steve murmured, looking past James to what was behind him. “You have 30 seconds, so make ‘em count.”

Admittedly, there wasn’t much James could do with 30 seconds. He ended up wrestling 45 seconds out of Steve, slipping a finger between Steve’s cheeks and circling his hole while he ground into Steve’s thigh. He worked up enough of a grind that, when Steve finally pushed him away, a thin string of precum linked his dick to Steve’s skin. Steve was rock-hard too, but his erection was stuck beneath his robe.

Steve waited for his erection to flag before he pulled them out of the corner and into the tower. James saw at least one couple and another woman watching them as they walked through the lobby. He didn’t know what caught their attention and didn’t want to invite his imagination to invent scenarios that would only exacerbate his troubled thoughts. They got in the elevator and James quickly scanned inside for any cameras, while his ears sought any light buzzes indicating recording equipment. Finding nothing, he pressed the stop button on the elevator panel, halting the elevator between the seventh and eighth floors.

“You have got to be—”

James muffled Steve’s complaint with his mouth, mushing him into the side wall of the elevator. He shoved his tongue past Steve’s lips, stroking inside while he yanked open the top of Steve’s robe. He started groping Steve’s right pec with his metal hand, flicking his nipple with the thumb, and swallowing Steve’s moans. When he broke away, Steve’s lips were flushed red, as was the top of his chest down to where the metal was covering the wide muscle. James bent down and licked over the stretch of it, tracing the curve as it sloped down to Steve’s sternum, and back over again, stopping to suck a pink mark onto his skin. 

“Buck, come on!” Steve gasped as James pulled his robe down off his shoulders.

“It’s rude to interrupt someone sucking on your tits,” James said.

“People are waiting for this elevator,” Steve said.

“Thank God, then, that there are three of them,” James quipped with a nip of Steve’s nipple. “They’ll be fine.”

“Where is your shame, huh?”

James froze, offended anger brushing his lungs. “What?”

Steve’s head fell against the wall, moaning, “We can’t…in an elevator…”

James suddenly remembered that Steve had no clue what was happening in his head. He sighed and said, “I don’t need shame. You’ve got enough for the both of us.”

“Shut up, Bucky.”

“My thoughts exactly. Shut up so I can suck you off through your tits.”

“Goddamn it…” James’s metal arm pushed into Steve’s open robe and wrapped around his torso, pulling him close as he lapped wet strokes over Steve’s left pec.

Steve granted James more time this go around, pushing him off after three minutes of his chest getting licked and sucked on. James could’ve gone longer, and his metal hand was poised at the small of Steve’s back to slip between his ass cheeks. Still, he was satisfied with his progress. Steve was suitably disheveled, the edges of his robe framing his heavy pecs, baring the pink marks of a supersoldier’s wet mouth. James looked down and saw the tip of Steve’s fresh erection peaking through his robe this time. 

James took a step for and reached for Steve’s dick with his metal hand. “You want me to—”

“No!” Steve smacked James’s hand away and fixed his robe. “In the room!”

“Spoilsport,” James muttered, pressing the button to restart the elevator.

Steve barely had the door open when James pounced on him again, pushing him inside their suite and crowding him face-first into the door. James dropped to his knees, lifted the back of Steve’s robe, and spread his cheeks open to stare wantonly at his tight entrance. He leaned in and licked Steve’s hole like he was starving, which he was. James regarded it as a feast: Steve’s tight rim, his flexing cheeks trying to suffocate him, and his desperate whines every time James wriggled his tongue. The only thing missing was Steve’s dick. James rectified that mistake by slipping his hand through Steve’s thighs and jerking him off. It wasn’t long before Steve cried out and painted the door with his cum.

“Fuck…” Steve moaned.

“If you say so…”

Steve was still breathing heavily when James hopped to his feet, undid his robe, and pressed into Steve’s back. He shoved his dick into Steve’s ass with one firm thrust, bottoming out and groaning as Steve’s walls immediately tightened around him. His hips smacked into the firm bubble of Steve’s ass while he clutched Steve’s chest under the robe, fingers flicking over his nipples. Steve braced his hands against the door and pushed back into James’s thrusts, giving as good as James gave to him. James growled as he pistoned relentlessly into Steve, the feel of Steve’s flesh bouncing off him spurring him on. He wanted to bury them both in hot, sweaty, distracting pleasure. It seemed to be working, with him only hearing the sound of Steve’s needy grunts and skin slapping together. 

“Oh, fuck!” Steve gasped after an especially hard thrust pushed him up against the door. “God, right there, damn it.”

“Yeah?” James rasped, feeling Steve tilting his ass up. “You gonna come again? So soon?”

“You are such an ass—fuck!”

James dropped his hands to Steve’s hips and lifted him an inch off the ground, holding him against the door. The shift bumped James’s dick right into Steve’s prostate with each thrust, prepared to send Steve spiraling to another orgasm. James could feel the familiar stirrings of his own in his groin, especially with Steve whimpering and squeezing him for dear life, but he ignored it. He didn’t want to worry about whether his brain would let him come. He would rather concentrate on making Steve come again.

He did that by tugging Steve’s ass into his hips and grinding directly into Steve’s prostate. Steve dropped one hand from the door and jerked himself off, groaning as he came, semen spilling over his fist. He would’ve fallen forward into the door if it weren’t for James’s hands on his chest, ostensibly holding him upright but also enjoying the two handfuls of supple muscle. James did let go with his metal hand so he could wrap his arm around Steve’s middle and carry him to the bed, his dick still hard inside Steve. He bent his knee on the bed and let Steve fall forward onto it, grunting softly as his dick slipped out of Steve’s hole. Steve squirmed on his stomach with his ass in the air, clenching on emptiness. 

“Look at you,” James said softly, his metal hand stroking the curve of Steve’s left cheek. “You need something in you bad, don’t you? Filling you up nice and tight?”

“You,” Steve moaned.

“Eh,” James said, reaching for the dildo that Steve made him leave behind for their session. “Think you just need anything filling you up.”

“That’s not—ahhh!”

James spread Steve’s hole open on the dildo, pushing it in until the plastic balls were up against Steve’s. Steve sagged into the bed and tilted his ass up further in the air, unintentionally making the base of the dildo twitch. James leaned down and made kitten licks where Steve’s hole stretched around the toy. He backed away when Steve tried rocking his ass against James’s tongue, as if he were trying to push it in his ass next to the dildo.

“Nasty,” James said with a nasty grin.

He flipped Steve over onto his back and leaned over him, kissing him first on the mouth and then down his body, his lips tugging on random stretches of Steve’s taut flesh. He tongued over the ridges and curves of Steve’s muscles where he was most sensitive, and stopped to nip at the tender skin below his belly button. Steve lightly squeaked, and James licked over the patch of skin with his tongue to soothe it. He licked the rest of the way down Steve’s body, through the light curls of his pubic bone, and promptly swallowed Steve’s dick. 

“Fuck!”

James laid his metal arm over Steve’s hips, holding him down as he took all of Steve’s shaft into his mouth. He swallowed around the tip as it hit the back of his throat, making Steve wheeze in shock. James got by on sheer determination, breathing through his nose as he worked his mouth over every inch of Steve’s dick. 

“Bucky, please!”

James grabbed the base of the dildo and fucked it into Steve with short, deep thrusts. He spread his hand into the hitch of Steve’s pelvis and pressed his thumb into Steve’s perineum, still warm and tender from the massage. That, and James swallowing around the head again, cracked Steve open with a shout. His dick throbbed heavily as he shot what felt like an endless stream of cum down James’s throat. When Steve’s erection didn’t flag in his mouth, James decided he could get one more orgasm out of him.

James dropped Steve’s dick from his mouth and crawled up the bed, slotting his hips between Steve’s open thighs. He licked Steve’s mouth open and pushed his tongue inside, stroking the taste of Steve’s dick onto his tongue. Steve whimpered but let James take control of his mouth and body, his leg coming around James’s waist. 

“One more?” James asked as he broke free from Steve’s lip. “Gonna gimme one more?”

Steve nodded, too blissed out to speak. James took it as his cue to jerk Steve’s wet, sticky dick. His strokes were pleasantly slick, and Steve responded in seconds, moaning as his shaft throbbed. James didn’t hurry, slowly moving his hand while letting out wet breaths against Steve’s neck. He pumped his hips hard, practically fucking Steve with the dildo lodged in his ass. Steve tried to cling tighter to him, but James could feel fatigue setting in his muscles. It wouldn’t be long before Steve’s boundless body finally gave out.

James decided to put Steve out of his miserable splendor. He tightened his fist around Steve’s dick and reached down with his other hand to push the dildo as far into Steve as it could go. Steve’s eyes widened, and James pressed their foreheads together as both hands worked Steve to the brink.

“Come for me, Stevie,” James rasped over Steve’s mouth. “Shoot all over me, you hot fuck.”

James smashed their lips together, tongue fucking Steve’s mouth. Steve gasped as his dick throbbed, and he came one last time. James sped up his fist, pumping the weaker streams of cum out of Steve’s dick onto the front of his robe and the back of his hand. Tired as he was, Steve still fought to kiss James back, pushing hungrily against James’s mouth. Even at the edge of exhaustion, Steve always had enough in the tank for brief, gentle intimacies.

“If you’re trying to kill me…” Steve panted slowly. “...you’re doing a crackerjack job…Buck…”

”Good,” James said.

His mission was complete .

James kissed Steve one last time before he gently eased the dildo out of his ass. He rolled off Steve and the bed and left him to enter the bathroom. He washed the dildo off and grabbed one of the washcloths off the bar, dousing it in shower gel and warm water. He scoffed as he repeated Steve’s words in his head. He hadn’t been trying to kill Steve; he just wanted to screw him into submission. It was a distraction tactic that they both enjoyed immensely. He could turn his head and look at the door, and see Steve’s bare leg lying limp on the bed. There had been no time to talk about feelings, emotions, and scattershot psychologies. They could fuck without ever having to go there. It was perfect.

The only problem was that Steve wasn’t with him in the bathroom. He wasn’t kissing behind his left ear or rubbing his fingers across his stomach. He certainly wasn’t trying to slip his hand into James’s robe to stroke him, with James halfheartedly slapping his hand away because he was being annoying, only to let Steve make him come all over the sink. 

No, James was alone, which meant he was alone with his thoughts. He had no choice but to think about what he didn’t want to think about: that something was wrong with him. Or, there was more wrong with him than he had thought and accepted. 

The mirror in front of James didn’t help. It wasn’t that long ago that he had done something similar, right before the Kaliningrad mission. Considering what followed, James didn’t think it was too far of a leap to regard that moment as a cruel aberration that lulled him into a false, easily exploited sense of security. If he had been more vigilant instead of getting swept up in the possibilities of being Bucky Barnes, maybe Kaliningrad would’ve gone differently for them, or at least for Steve. Still, the temptation was too great. James looked at his reflection, his eyes searching for any changes that reflected his shoddy mental state.

He didn’t see any changes. He still looked like what he imagined James to be: the decommissioned HYDRA asset, slowly coming around to the concept of him as a human being. He still saw that gleam in his eye, which had grown slightly larger than it had been months ago. From what he could glean, James was fine. On the other hand, it wasn’t like he could necessarily trust his sight. He couldn’t trust the fidelity of his imagination, or his imagination couldn’t trust him. It was unlikely that his perception was better. Whatever the case, it was starting to feel like nothing was trustworthy or tangible around him. Everything, even him standing in that mirror, could be a defect, either accidental or purposeful. James’s mind couldn’t decide which was more plausible.

Frustrated, James dumped his soiled robe on the floor, pulled on one of the spare robes on the hanger behind the door, grabbed the washcloth, and returned to the bedroom. He was overdue for another distraction.

What greeted him instead was Steve, who had completely passed out on the bed. It was a ridiculous sight: he was sprawled out on his back, still technically wearing his robe, but the edges were spread open and jumbled around his body. It was also strangely sweet, particularly when James took in Steve’s blissful, almost innocent expression as the orgasmic blush slowly faded from his face. He didn’t look like someone ready to be debauched, and James wasn’t especially keen to disturb him when he looked so peaceful. Steve deserved peace.

For good measure, James knelt on the bed behind Steve and gently shook his shoulder. Steve murmured, but didn’t respond. Rolling his eyes at Steve’s unconscious petulance, James eased Steve’s robe off his shoulders and slid it out from under him, leaving him nude. Steve hummed pleasantly with the rumpled fabric off him, curling his body to the left, leaning on his side. James climbed into bed behind him with his robe still on, not especially concerned with his comfort. Instead of following his damaged instincts and curling up behind Steve, James lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He counted the little specs of off-white, which he assumed came from a recent renovation of their room. It wasn’t an especially useful way to spend time, but one alternative seemed guaranteed to drive him insane, and the other required that he disturb Steve. Neither option worked for him.

“Buck?”

James turned his head. Steve was still facing away from him, but the small fidgets of his body signalled that he was at least halfway awake.

“Thought you were asleep,” James said, leaning over to see that Steve’s eyes were still closed.

Steve threw his left arm behind him, slapping the empty space between them. “You’re too far.”

“I was just inside you,” James said.

“Still too far,” Steve replied, slightly muffled by the pillow. “Get over here.”

James briefly hesitated but rolled over, draping the metal arm over Steve’s torso. He shifted forward but retained the distance between their bodies. Steve grumbled and grabbed James’s arm, pulling himself back to close the gap. Steve hummed in victory, and James fought the urge to squirm against him, trying to will away the thin veil of discomfort covering him.

Steve yawned and sidled even closer to James, pressing the metal hand against his stomach, his fingertips tracing the plates of the fingers. “Do you wanna tell me now?”

James lifted his head, looking down at Steve’s face, specifically his closed eyes. “Tell you what?”

“Why you’ve been trying to distract me with sex.”

James felt a small hole open at the bottom of his gut. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with a flat voice that sounded eerily similar to the Soldier’s.

“I know you want me,” Steve said, undisturbed by the shift in James’s tone, his eyes still closed. “But I’m starting to feel like a distraction.”

“Is that a bad thing?” James asked, changing his tone again, approximating something teasing and sensual, his lips ghosting over Steve’s shoulder.

“I think you know me better than that, James,” Steve said.

James did know Steve better than that, and the invocation of his name meant that Steve wasn’t letting him get away so easily. He stayed still, hoping that the silence would be enough of an answer, that Steve wouldn’t pry and let James be. He knew it was laughably unlikely, but with a shrinking number of options at his disposal, he figured it was worth a shot.

The shot lasted three minutes, with Steve saying after the time ran out, “Talk to me.”

“What if I don’t want to?” James asked, another, cheaper shot. 

“You know me better than that, too.”

“I thought this was the part where I tell you what I need and you follow my lead?”

Steve gently scoffed. “Forgetting a piece of that, aren’t ya?”

“I’d rather you forget,” James said, his breath fanning over Steve’s shoulder. 

“Forget you? Not possible.”

“Very smooth, Steve,” James muttered, burrowing his face into Steve’s neck.

“I had a good teacher,” Steve said. 

James lifted his head again, confused. “What do you mean?”

“You,” Steve answered. “You were a good teacher.”

“I doubt that,” James said. “I can barely stand people. If you followed my example, we’d be sitting in a cell in Salzburg.”

Steve sighed dramatically. “Not current you. Past you.”

“What?” The hole in James’s gut widened a few inches. 

“Back in the old days…” Steve chuckled. “God, I really do sound old.”

“Focus,” James said apprehensively.

“When we were coming up, you were a huge flirt,” Steve said. “A real charmer. Felt like you didn’t go anywhere without a dame on your arm. Even two sometimes.”

“I…” James stopped himself from seeking out a possible memory, not wanting to risk him freezing up or freaking out. 

“I was hopeless,” Steve continued, pulling James’s arm closer. “But I paid attention. Just in case I ever met someone. I never thought…”

James’s muscles locked, his torso tightening into a rigid mass behind Steve. Even though Steve was holding his arm, he created some necessary, helpful distance, awkward as it felt. It must’ve felt awkward to Steve, too, because he let go of the metal arm and turned over to face James. He had the same serene gaze that he did in the Serenity Room, but worry lines creased his forehead. James thought it was a waste of wrinkles. 

“Buck,” Steve said softly. “You went somewhere.”

“I’m literally in front of you,” James said coldly. 

Another worry line creased Steve’s forehead as his eyes narrowed, annoyed. “Don’t be a dick. You know what I meant.”

“No, I don’t,” James said. Technically, he did know what Steve meant, but Steve didn’t know how hard he was fighting not to go somewhere or get lost in his ravaged mind. He was chaining himself to the present. 

“I know you,” Steve said. “I know when you’re trying to distance yourself, just like I know when you’re using sex as a distraction from whatever’s going on.”

“You don’t know shit,” James grumbled as a new rip formed in his gut.

“This is you needling me into a pointless fight,” Steve said, a hint of smugness in his tone. “It won’t work.”

“Fuck you.” James turned away from Steve and was halfway up from the bed when Steve’s right arm came around his body, gently pulling him back down. “Get off me.”

Steve didn’t budge. He slipped his other arm underneath James and wrapped it around him. James expected Steve to pull him into a suffocating hug, proof of his dogged refusal to give an inch, but he didn’t. Steve’s hold was loose enough for James to break free with just a smidgen of strength. He wouldn’t even need the metal arm. James waited for his body to run on autopilot, snatching away from Steve’s gentle resistance and bolting anywhere, whether to the bathroom or the continent. Seconds and then minutes passed, but he didn’t move. Steve didn’t move either. James could feel the silence trying to settle over them, making him more anxious. Still, he didn’t move.

“Why?” The word shivered out of James’s mouth. 

“Because I told you ‘end of the line’ and I meant it,” Steve answered. “This is nothing compared to how far I’d go for you.”

“You shouldn’t,” James muttered. 

“I thought we were beyond that,” Steve said, softly rubbing James’s arm.

“You thought wrong.”

“So tell me what’s right.”

James wanted to say something obnoxious, mean, or self-pitying, anything to put Steve on the defensive again. He could taste the words, but he swallowed them down. Even at his most self-righteous and relentless, Steve deserved better than more bitter obfuscation. The problem was that James wasn’t sure of a suitable substitute. So he said nothing. 

“Can I tell you what’s right to me?” Steve asked when James didn’t speak.

“As if I have a say in the matter,” James said, sighing at his slip-up. 

“I don’t have to…” Steve squeezed James’s bicep. “We could just lie here. I don’t hold you like this enough.”

“Say what you want to say,” James said. He could hear Steve’s silent contemplation, prompting him to ask, “That bad, huh?”

“Maybe.” Steve shifted closer to James, nestling into the fabric of James’s robe. “I think…”

“You think…”

“I think you think you don’t deserve this…what we have,” Steve said softly. “You don’t believe in it…believe it’s possible…possible that I love you.”

 “It would be easier if you didn’t,” James said, another frustrating indulgence in self-pity.

“It wouldn’t be me, though,” Steve said. “I told you in Budapest…I don’t know if we could’ve been…what we are now back then—but being here with you like this? It feels…inevitable. Like, somehow, I was meant to be here with you.”

“At the sex spa,” James said, trying for sarcasm. 

“Anywhere,” Steve said honestly, sidestepping James’s attempt. “Anywhere you were. It makes sense to me. You make sense to me.”

James shivered even though he was overwarm in the robe. “I don’t.”

“Buck, that’s not—”

“Not talking about you,” James interrupted. “Talking about me. I don’t make sense to me.”

“What do you mean?”

James took a deep breath, accepting that there was no turning back and that he would have to reveal his toxic brain to the blisteringly clean Steve. “Nothing is real.”

“Real?” Steve closed the distance between them, his body pressed into James’s, his hand slipping down to stroke James’s thigh through the split of his robe, as if to counteract his point.

“My mind is fucked,” James said, the words weighing heavily on his tongue. 

“Okay…” Steve waited for James to elaborate. 

James groaned as he struggled to find the right combination of words. “It’s like…my head and body aren’t…working together.”

“How?”

“Fuck,” James rasped, trying to temper his frustration. “I feel…” 

“It’s okay,” Steve said, rubbing and squeezing James’s thigh. “Just talk. I’ll follow along.” 

“Fine...” James took another deep breath, his chest feeling less tight. “My head…it gets…disconnected? From my body.”

“Okay,” Steve said.

“It’s like…things don’t feel right…sometimes.” HYDRA had installed complete dictionaries of multiple languages in James’s brain, but he was stuck on the simplest words. “My body won’t…respond to what’s in my head.”

“Gimme an example.”

“The massage,” James said. “I was…stuck. My body couldn’t…until you jerked me off. I could feel it before, but I couldn’t…”

“Get there?” Steve finished for James.

“Yeah…” James said. “And when Darius was touching me…I felt it, but…not fully. Like it was happening in another…room or something stupid like that.”

James felt Steve’s head shaking against his back. “That’s not stupid, Buck.”

“Then what is it? Because it’s not normal.”

“When have we ever been normal?” Steve asked.

“Very funny, Steve.”

“I’m only halfway joking,” Steve said. “You’ve been through…” He sighed. “Too much to count. Your body, your mind, all of it. I think I get that some things are…harder than they should be?”

“Doesn’t make it easier,” James said. 

“No,” Steve agreed. “But, you’re not alone in this.” 

“Even though I should be.”

“Buck…” Steve’s eyes hardened. “Don’t you even think—”

“Shut up,” James said, sighing. “I know. You already did the ‘end of the line’ bit today. I know I’m stuck with you on this.”

“Good,” Steve said firmly. “So…you think your brain and body are disconnected sometimes. Has that happened before?”

“I don’t know,” James said. “It’s pathetic.”

“It’s not pathetic,” Steve countered. “It’s what we’re working with, so it’s good to name it.”

“Before you have me institutionalized?”

”Please don’t make me punch you for being an asshole.”

“You’ve talked about me getting professional help before,” James said, remembering Budapest and, most recently, Munich.

“And then we discussed it because we’re adults and decided it wasn’t happening,” Steve said. “That’s what people in relationships do.”

James’s ears perked up. “Relationships?”

“Oh! Um…I mean…the general type…of word…” Steve stuttered. “I’m not saying…damn. Friendships, romantic…coworkers…all kinds of…those…”

“So we’re coworkers?” James turned his head and caught a glimpse of Steve’s beet-red face.

“I mean…people who care…about each other…?” Steve exhaled, accepting that he blew it.

“I get what you meant,” James said, turning his head back around. “I just don’t…have much experience…with that.”

”Neither do I,” Steve said.

“You have the Widow and Birdman,” James said, annoyed at having to mention either of them. “And that group of yours in New York. With the stupid name.”

“Yes, I have Natasha and Sam,” Steve said. “They’re my friends. And the Avengers. Clint, Bruce, Thor, and Tony on good days. They’re great and I care about them. But…”

“But what?”

“I’ve only had them for a short time,” Steve explained with an air of sadness. “I didn’t grow up with them. We didn’t even grow up at the same time. They talk about things I have to read up on. They refer to things that happened before I woke up. And it’s only been four years. There’s no…”

“Shared life experience?” The words popped into James’s head, as if they had talked about it many years ago.

“Yeah…” Steve shivered as if he knew what James was thinking about. “And even if we had that, I was mostly on my own back in the old days. There were the Commandos and Peggy, but we had such little time together when I think about it. It was like a blip. Even you and me…there wasn’t enough time. So, I guess, mostly, I was on my own.”

Thank you, Buck, but I can get by on my own.

The thing is, you don’t have to. I’m with you to the end of the line, pal.

James could see the image of them so clearly. They were outside of what must’ve been Steve’s apartment in Brooklyn. Steve was small and sad. He looked like he wanted to cry, but he couldn’t or wouldn’t let himself. James could feel the funeral program in the back of Bucky’s pocket. It had been for Steve’s mother’s funeral. He had kicked away the brick that hid Steve’s spare key and handed it to him. Steve had tried to brush him off, but then Bucky said it.

“So no, I don’t have much experience with this…with relationships,” Steve continued. “I guess we’re kinda winging it together, huh? Like everything else.”

James rolled over to face Steve, taking in the warm but slightly sad smile. “I can’t believe I said that stupid line first.”

Steve tried and failed to temper his excitement. “It was…”

“After your mom’s funeral,” James finished for Steve. “My parents wanted to take you to the cemetery, but you disappeared on us.”

Steve nodded slowly. “I wanted to be alone for a little while.”

“Your first bull-headed mistake,” James said, curling his metal hand around Steve’s head. “The other was not letting me take you home afterwards.”

“I was dumb,” Steve said. “I should’ve let you.”

“I…” James realized that’s where the memory stopped: his hand on small Steve’s shoulder, staring down at his small, sad, grateful smile. “Don’t remember what came next.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Steve said. “You’re here now. We’re here now. That’s what counts. Everything else will come when it needs to.” 

He knew it was ill-advised and dangerous as fuck, but James wanted to believe what Steve was saying, everything he had ever said. All of it. 

“So what do people in relationships do first?” James asked. “Since we’re winging it?”

“According to my well-placed sources—” 

“Oh, fuck off, Steve—”

“We’re supposed to be honest with each other,” Steve continued, poking James in the sternum. “Even if it hurts.”

“Well that sucks,” James said. “Can’t I just blow you?”

“We can walk and chew gum at the same time, Bucky,” Steve said.

”Fuck…” James could see the look in Steve’s eyes that he expected him to go first, because, of course. “Honesty, huh?”

“I trust you can do it,” Steve said. 

“Well… let’s start there,” James said, his face tightening. “I don’t. I don’t trust myself. My body is fucked and my brain is fucked and they’re working together to be more fucked. I could dream of myself killing every person at this resort, and wake up and see a pile of dead bodies at my feet. And I still won’t know if it was real or not.”

“What if I said I trust you, mind, body, all of it?” Steve asked.

“It wouldn’t mean jack shit to me,” James said. Steve looked like he had been slapped across the face, prompting James to add, “You said even if it hurt.”

“I did,” Steve said softly, miserably. “I guess I didn’t know how much it would hurt.”

“I did, but I’m smarter than you,” James said. 

“You’re such a jerk,” Steve said, shaking his head.

“Your turn. What’s your brutally honest thing? It better be good.”

Steve sighed and paused for a minute, contemplating his answer. “I think I’m worried I’m not enough for you.”

James was confused and irrationally angry. “The fuck are you on about? You’re more than I deserve. I shouldn’t have anything.”

“You believe that,” Steve said. “And I’ve told you so many times that’s not true. And you don’t believe me. So, how am I supposed to think I’m enough for you?”

James was caught in Steve’s logic trap, which made his head start pounding. He shifted an inch from Steve, needing more distance to function. Steve seemed to understand, not trying to chase after him. James rubbed his flesh hand over his forehead and then pressed into it. 

“I don’t want you to think that,” James said with a shaky voice. “It’s not how I feel.”

“How…” Steve hesitated, and James knew why, just as he knew what Steve wanted to ask and what he hoped the answer would be.

“I can’t,” James said, and he hated himself for it.

“I know,” Steve said, nodding. “It’s okay, Buck. I told you, I don’t need—”

“You matter…” James said quickly. “I…know it’s not enough.”

“It is,” Steve said, his voice struggling to contain itself. “And if it’s not, I’ll make it enough.”

James shook his head in disbelief because, of course, that’s how Steve would approach it. “You know, you are the most willful bastard who’s ever lived.”

Steve smiled. “I have a lot to be willful about.” He reached for James’s arm and tugged him closer. “So, how do you want to handle the mind and body stuff?”

“I guess doing nothing isn’t an option?” James asked.

“I’d advise against it, but it’s up to you,” Steve said. 

James paused, thinking about the spa’s programs. “How stupid do you think the float meditation thing is?”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed. “From what I read in the pamphlet…Honestly, I don’t think I get it, but it seems helpful. I guess it’s like prayer, but not religious?”

“Do you think it could help?” James asked.

“I don’t think it could hurt,” Steve said.

“I need you to be there,” James said, his voice tight with the gravity of his words. “In case something goes wrong. In case you think something is about to go wrong and you need to neutralize me.”

“I’m not gonna neutralize you, Buck,” Steve said. “You’re not a bomb.”

“I am,” James said. “And the worst part is I don’t have a trigger or a trip switch or anything. I could go off whenever. So that’s why I need you. You’re the only one who can handle me.”

“I told you…there’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” Steve said emphatically. “And I’ll be there to help you if you need.”

“You’re dancing around my ask,” James grumbled.

“Because I don’t accept that I’ll need to ‘neutralize’ you, because you’re a human being and you’re good,” Steve explained. “But if it comes to that, I will.”

“See how easy that was?”

“Nothing about you is easy,” Steve said, smiling. “But it’s worth it because it’s you.”

“You’re such a sap,” James said, his face getting hot. “And you are easy. That’s why I knew I could screw you into submission. You’re too damn needy.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Steve huffed, blushing. “I’m not…easy.”

“Hmph.” James grabbed Steve’s hips. “So if I put you on top of me and asked you to ride me nice and slow…you wouldn’t?”

“You’re not asking, are you?” Steve’s eyes dropped to where James’s metal hand had slipped into his robe, stroking over his thigh.

“No…I’m not,” James said, his eyes turning pitch-black instantly. He gripped Steve’s thigh and flipped them so he was on his back and Steve was on top of him. “You know, I had planned to come in here and clean you off, but you wanted to play possum like a brat.”

“Maybe I like being a little dirty,” Steve said, tugging on his robe's belt and letting it open. 

The mouth-watering sight of Steve’s body wasn’t enough for James to not ask, “Have you been watching porn?”

”Wait, what?” Steve looked stunned and started trying to close up his robe. “What do you mean?”

“That sounds like something someone in a really bad porno would say,” James said as he batted Steve’s hands away and let the robe fall open again.

“I don’t watch porn,” Steve said. “Okay, well, technically I have.”

“Technically?”

“It was Tony!” Steve exclaimed before sighing in defeat. “He sent me all these links after we formed the team. He said it was intel for future missions. And when I clicked on one, it was a video.”

“And the mission was turning you on,” James said, getting more irritated with each passing word.

“I told him it was inappropriate and not to do it again,” Steve said, his body shifting into his Captain America stance, which was ridiculous and hot since he was practically naked. “Told him I wouldn’t tolerate it.”

“So you didn’t get anything out of it?” James asked as he reached for the washcloth on the bed. “Or were you too busy being self-righteous to register it?”

“I’m not self-righteous.”

“Yeah, sure.” James rubbed the washcloth over the front of Steve’s body, starting with his thighs and working his way up to his stomach. “That’s just another thing to add to the list.”

“What list?”

“The list of sex things to introduce Steve Rogers to,” James said. “Right now, I’ve got sex swings and porn.”

Steve startled when James’s washcloth brushed his nipple and started deliberately rubbing it. “Why do I even like you?”

“Because of my big dick,” James said as he pushed the robe off Steve’s shoulders and threw it to the side. “And because I’m your best friend of nearly a century but I don’t remember most of it but I also fuck you a lot so it nets out.”

Steve’s head looked like it was about to explode. “Can you do me a favor and just not speak for the next 30 minutes or something?”

”Sure,” James said. “There are better things I could be doing with my mouth anyway. Like sucking your tits.”

“You are so damn—” James shut Steve down by sucking Steve’s nipple. Steve’s head fell back, and his hands came up behind James’s head, tangling in his hair. “Fuck, Buck.”

“That’s the idea,” James said. “Just need to grab the lube.”

“How do we do that without you stopping sucking on me?” 

“Awww…” James smirked. “So you do like me sucking on your heavy tits? Making ‘em hot and wet and so fucking pink? Appreciate you admitting it.”

Steve mushed James in the face and stretched his body to the left to the bedside table to dig inside the red box. With Steve’s pec above him, James lifted his head and licked the nipple with the flat of his tongue. Steve moaned and his arm stumbled, but he was able to grab the bottle of lube before the box fell to the floor. 

“Smooth, Stevie.”

“Shut up and get inside me.”

James smiled. “Why don’t you do the honors? Slick me up.”

Steve popped open the bottle and drizzled a bit too much lube into his palm while James pulled off his robe. James and Steve exchanged a teasing look over Steve’s wet palm, and Steve rubbed the excess liquid on his thigh. He wrapped his hand around James’s dick and stroked it slowly, slathering the head and shaft in slick. James cleared his throat, the wet feel of Steve’s steady fist tightening his lungs. 

“Get on with it and sit on my dick,” James growled when he saw a knowing smirk break out on Steve’s face, timed perfectly to his fist tightening on James’s dick.

“Yes, sir.”

Steve lifted on his knees, and James tossed some lube on his fingers before he slipped them between Steve’s cheeks. He pressed two fingers inside Steve and worked them in and out a few times to stretch him out. Steve held onto James’s shoulders and bounced slightly on the fingers, making little noises in the back of his throat. Before Steve could come on his fingers, James pulled them out and guided Steve onto his lap, his slick tip fitting to the furl of his entrance. When Steve clenched against it, James squeezed and lifted his hip, feeling himself go cross-eyed. 

“Easy, doll,” James said, the endearment slipping out, with him having no clue where it came from. 

“Yeah?” Steve’s eyes were sparkling. 

“Don’t want to blow all over your sweet ass,” James said. “Go easy on me.”

“I…can do that,” Steve said, still visibly stuck on the “doll.” 

James held his dick still as Steve lowered himself onto it, his eyes widening as the tip spread him open and pushed its way inside. He paused halfway down, his breaths quickening and his walls squeezing on James’s shaft. James curled his metal arm around Steve’s waist and pulled him close. 

“You okay?” James asked softly. 

Steve nodded jerkily. “Yeah…just…a lot.”

“Ride me, Stevie,” James said. “Nice and slow.”

James tugged down on Steve’s waist, pulling him the rest of the way on James’s dick, both of them groaning when James filled him. Steve threw his arms over James’s shoulders and started a slow, rolling rhythm with his hips, keeping James’s dick as deep inside his ass as possible. It felt exquisite to James: Steve’s walls rippling and tensing around him, bathing him in heat, while the lush curves of Steve’s ass pressed into his lap. He couldn’t help but frame Steve’s cheeks with his hands, squeezing them with his fingers. All he did was squeeze, though, keeping the pace in Steve’s domain.

“Fuck, you’re deep,” Steve mewled.

“Yeah…?” James brought Steve’s head down against his. “Tell me how deep. Up on your sweet spot? Pushing into it?”

“Oh, shit.” Steve rocked his ass back and whimpered, which answered James’s question. ‘It’s…there…”

James didn’t have the leverage he wanted, but he still pumped his hips slowly under Steve. Steve arched his neck, and James picked back up on sucking Steve’s chest, his lips marking their way down to Steve’s right nipple and widening to fit over the bottom curve of his pec. When James started sucking in earnest, Steve pulled his head into his chest, encouraging him with high whines and massages of his scalp. James latched onto the encouragment, sucking harder and humming into the flesh, sending tiny vibrations across Steve’s skin. Steve gasped in delight, clutching James tighter and rolling down harder into James’s lap, grunting with the bumps into his prostate. James popped off Steve’s pec and smiled when Steve looked down at him with flaming hot, borderline angry eyes. He quickly put his mouth on Steve’s left pec, looking up at him with mischievous, nasty eyes as he sucked even harder.  

There was a small part of James that wanted to flip Steve onto his back and rail him, mashing their bodies together into skin-rippling climaxes. He could see Steve clawing underneath him, his head flailing, and his chest bouncing with each hard thrust. He could feel Steve’s ass squeeze him so tight that he couldn’t move anymore, forcing him to reach down and stroke Steve to distraction, making him come so he’d loosen up and James could finish inside him. It could’ve gotten lost in the image, let his imagination run amok like it had been doing since they arrived.

It was the heavy press of Steve that kept him in the moment, how he ground delectably slow into his lap, keeping him tight against his prostate. There shouldn’t have been any space left inside Steve, but James drew him down further. He pulled Steve’s thighs tight around his waist and reached down to where they were joined, gently rubbing where Steve was stretched around the thickest part of his dick. Steve stuttered as James caressed along the rim, his touch unbearably sweet. It was too much; they were too close. 

And yet, James wanted more, lifting his head from Steve’s chest to his ear.

“Tell me,” James whispered, his voice deep and hot against Steve’s skin.

Steve’s spine straightened, his voice coming out reedy. “Tell you…?”

“Tell me,” James repeated, pulling back to look squarely into Steve’s eyes. 

Steve shook his head. “You don’t—”

“You want me to believe it,” James said, thrusting his hips up into Steve’s ass, making Steve gasp. “So make me. Tell me.”

Conflict was playing out across Steve’s expression. His eyes yearned to say it, practically begging for the right. His forehead and mouth were rigid, as if they knew the risks and figured the reward wasn’t worth it. His cheeks were neutral ground, too flushed from the firm presence of James inside him to swing in either direction. 

James wouldn’t ask again. He couldn’t. He wanted to hear it, but it had to be Steve’s choice. James could manage if they went no further than this moment. It would simply reinforce what he already knew. But he couldn’t ask Steve to say it. If James did, and Steve couldn’t, he didn’t think he’d survive.

“I love you, Bucky.”

The words seared James’s skull, and he couldn’t wait anymore. He grabbed Steve’s hips and rocked him on his dick, keeping the same slow pace but thrusting harder. James could feel the underside of Steve’s dick rubbing against his abs, his shaft pulsing and his tip leaking precum. He tilted Steve’s hips down an inch so that his dick rubbed harder into him, and Steve responded in kind, his moans getting brighter and his dick getting wetter. James looked down and saw how raw and ready Steve’s slit looked, how desperate it was to come all over him. 

James looked back up at Steve’s face, taking in his bleary eyes, equally ready to come. He just needed one last push.

“Come.”

With all the strength in his lower body at his disposal, James pulled his hips down and slammed them up, shoving his dick to the hilt inside Steve’s ass. Steve shouted as he climaxed, clamoring to pull James closer to his body as his dick unloaded on James’s stomach and the bottom of his chest. Steve squeezed his walls down on James as another rope of cum shot out of his dick, triggering James’s climax. James held Steve down as he filled him with cum, feeling some of it drip down his shaft. Even as their orgasms ebbed, James yanked Steve into another deep kiss, not letting go until he was sure they were both finished.

The tension in Steve’s body evaporated, and he collapsed against James, his head hanging over the metal shoulder. James slid his hand from Steve’s waist to the center of his back, the metal fingers tapping against his spine. He tipped them back to lie on the bed, with Steve sprawled lazily on top of him. James could feel the remnants of their orgasms everywhere, but he didn’t care. There would be time to deal with that. There would also be time to figure out what was happening in James’s mind and if it could be salvaged. 

As Steve dozed off on top of him, James thought about that memory of him and Steve, specifically what “end of the line” meant. He knew it meant something; after all, it did free him from decades of mind control and psychological conditioning. Even after that, after pulling Steve from the river, James didn’t know if he believed in it. It could’ve been some stupid thing kids say to each other when they don’t have the right words, or a steadfast, stubborn promise that a certain supersoldier carried around like a shield. 

And yet, lying there with Steve, knowing those were his words, or at least the words of another version of himself, James felt the pieces click together. It didn’t fit all the way right; the ridges weren’t properly aligned, and there were small gaps that let the air slip through, but he knew they were supposed to fit. He was supposed to feel them.

He didn’t know if he believed in the end of the line, but he could accept that he and Steve were on the line together. 

Chapter Text

“You’re up early.”

James opened his eyes and turned his head to Steve’s voice behind him at the edge of their private lagoon. It was 9 am, which meant that Steve had finished his workout a half-hour ago, showered, and changed into his plush white robe and slippers. Usually, James would’ve been in the suite to greet Steve with a grumbled “I’m still sleeping,” even though he didn’t sleep much. However, this morning, when Steve went to the gym, he got out of bed, showered, and went to spend time in the hot spring. 

He had only felt glimmers of it before because he was so focused on Steve’s float therapy, but the heated, mineral-infused waters were doing wonders for his body. The heat had seeped its way into James’s muscles and bones, warming his insides in a way even the hottest showers couldn’t achieve, and he had tried many times over the last few months. His skin tingled, not with pleasure but something equally as good, something he approximated as excitement, even though that didn’t make physiological sense. What did make sense was how the water helped the web of scars that stretched out from the metal arm, a remnant of HYDRA’s brutal, mangled installation. He had long accepted that he would be in pain from the scars, that they represented defect and dysfunction on a cellular level, and it was one of the physical curses of his existence. 

In the hot spring, though, the ache of the scarring was less. James couldn’t say if the water seeped in as deep as his cell walls, but it sure felt like it. It felt like true relief. He was under no delusions that he had stumbled upon a cure, because there wasn’t one, but he would take what he could get. He was almost completely submerged, only his head sticking out from the water. He probably looked silly from Steve’s vantage point, but he didn’t see it on Steve’s face. However, he did see curiosity and happiness, the former slowly fading as his brain started piecing together what James might be striving for in the water. 

“I knew I only had two hours of me time before you tried hopping on my dick again,” James sassed, turning around and leaning his head back against the ledge.

“Poor baby,” Steve said, kicking off his slippers and sitting behind James on the ledge, his legs hanging next to James in the water. “How’s it feel?”

“Your ass? Incredible.”

“I meant the water, jerk,” Steve said, flicking his foot in the water. 

“Good,” James said, curving his right hand around Steve’s calf and rubbing it. “Amazing, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” James sat up straighter, letting his shoulders rise out of the water.

“Buck, don’t take this the wrong way, but…” Steve leaned down to get a closer look at James. “Does your shoulder look different to you?”

James turned to look at his left side. His eyebrows raised in surprise. The scarring around his arm looked less…angry than it had before. It was still very red, webbed, and fissured in places, but it looked less fresh. He let go of Steve’s leg and grazed his flesh fingers over it. He felt a tingle of that ache, but even touching the scars didn’t spur any pain signals or trigger any panic responses. It felt too good to be true.

What if it was?

James felt that itch at the base of his skull that he had come to associate with the overactivity of his imagination. He shook his head angrily, trying his damndest to shut out the white noise curdling in his mind. He refused to indulge his imagination’s attempt to take another remotely good thing away from him.

“You’re okay, Buck,” Steve said as his hands took hold of James’s shoulders, grounding him in what was real. “You’ve got this. You’ve got me.”

James took a slow, deep breath as his imagination slowed down and receded to his brain’s darkest corners. He looked up to see Steve staring down at him, slightly nervous but generally calm, knowing that James needed him to be.

“Thanks,” James said, a tiny smile creeping onto his face.

“No problem,” Steve said.

“Hold me for a little bit longer?” James asked, his metal hand reaching over to grab Steve’s right hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, let me just…” Steve removed his robe and put his hand back on James’s shoulders, gently massaging the right side while his left hand pressed into James’s neck. “How’s that?”

“Good…” James exhaled, rolling his head to the right so Steve had better access to his neck.

“You think you’re ready for today?”

That was the other reason why James was in the hot spring early. Today was his float meditation appointment. He wouldn’t say that he was actively dreading it, but there were other things he’d sooner do. 

“And if I said we should spend the day in bed instead?” James asked. “Or find some sex session that makes you apoplectic?”

“I’d say that we have all day to do either or both,” Steve said, lowering his head. “But you don’t have to if you really don’t want to.”

“No,” James sighed. “I’ll do it. Mostly so you won’t pout at me all day.”

“I did have a few good ones prepared,” Steve quipped. “I know the puppy dog one really gets to you.”

“There has to be a better lay in the world than you,” James groaned. “You can’t be the best fuck and be this annoying.”

“I can always ask Elias for a second opinion,” Steve said, with James hearing the smirk in his voice. “We had an awesome sparring session this morning. Worked up a real good sweat.”

“Keep toying with me, Rogers,” James growled. “And you’ll be fishing your sparring partner out of the Arctic.”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous,” Steve said, running his hand across James’s collarbone and down to cup James’s right pec.

“Really? You tease me about your stupid Swedish sweetheart, and you think you can just rub up on me and make it alright?”

“Yup,” Steve answered. “Seems like you aren’t that hung up about it.”

James’s throat rumbled in annoyance, but he did keep his back against the ledge, letting Steve’s hands roam across his front. He closed his eyes and dared to let his mind drift with the feel of Steve’s hand and the water lapping over his skin. His brain remained on course, knowing Steve was behind him and not spinning out over the possibilities of something terrible happening. Steve allowed him to focus on the hot soak of the water and the gentle press of Steve’s fingers working those minerals deeper into his flesh.

“Love touching you, Buck,” Steve said softly. “Love it when you let me.”

“Yeah?” James asked. “Why?”

“Feels like there are too many reasons.”

“Then pick your top five,” James said, keeping his eyes closed but quirking his eyebrow.

“I didn’t think you’d call my bluff,” Steve laughed and then hummed, making a show of trying to find the right answers. “I like your strength; your physical strength. I like that I can feel that you’re stronger than me.”

“We’re evenly matched,” James said, opening his eyes and lifting the metal arm. “This gives me a handicap.”

“Nah,” Steve said, trailing his fingers down James’s metal shoulder and up his arm. “It’s just you. I’ve fought you, remember?”

“Unfortunately,” James said, resentful of his frown.

Steve frowned, too. “I didn’t mean—”

“Forget it, Steve,” James said, trying to lift away from the ledge, but stopped by Steve’s hand on his right shoulder.

“If you wanna be technical about it,” Steve started, tilting his head left and right. “You have more combat experience than me. During the war and…the other stuff.”

“HYDRA,” James said. “You don’t need to tiptoe around it.”

“HYDRA,” Steve said. “So all of that would naturally give you a leg up. You know how to move your body in ways I probably don’t, how to make sure your punches land harder, how to handle your weapons easier, and get the most out of them.”

“That…actually makes sense…” James said, genuinely dumbfounded.

“I have my moments,” Steve said, smirking as he rubbed the metal arm.

“So…” James said, looking at his metal arm and Steve. “Are you ready to finally admit you have a thing for the arm?”

Steve huffed. “It’s not a thing.”

“I can hear you thinking about how many fingers I can get inside you right now,” James said with a shrug of his eyebrows.

“I…ugh…” Steve shook his head in defeat, but kept stroking the arm. “It’s not a thing, I swear.”

“It’s a fetish, isn’t it?”

“A what?”

“The robot guy sent you a bunch of porn videos and you don’t know what a fetish is?” James asked, squinting at Steve’s befuddlement. “For fuck’s sake…”

“Is that another thing you have to add to the list?” Steve asked. “With the swings?”

“And the good porn,” James added. “No, you’re nowhere near ready to explore fetishes. Need to take the training wheels off first.”

“I don’t need training wheels!” Steve exclaimed, splashing more water on James with his foot.

“Besides the point,” James said, flicking Steve’s foot back. “What’s it with you and the arm?”

Steve interlocked his fingers with the metal ones. “It’s part of you, and if it’s part of you, then it matters to me.”

“You’ve said that before,” James said. “And it still sounds too easy.”

“Sometimes the truth just is,” Steve said as he kissed the back of the metal hand. “But if you need a more laborious answer…”

“I do,” James said, a shiver settling at the base of his spine at the accidental honesty.

Steve smiled. “I like that it gives you some control over your life. That may not have been…HYDRA’s intent…But I think it probably helped you survive as long as you did. And now, it lets you live the life that you choose.”

“I guess…” James sounded as unsure as he felt.

It’s yours,” Steve said emphatically. “No matter how you got it and why, it’s yours now, to do with what you choose. And…”

James blinked. “And what?”

“I like that you choose to use it…with me…” Steve said softly, with a surprising amount of heat in his words. “...On me.”

James exhaled. “Yeah?”

“I know it’s you,” Steve said. “And yet, there’s something…I dunno…subconscious in me, I guess, that knows that there’s a hint of risk. It could hurt me…but because it’s you…it won’t.”

“So it’s your adrenaline junkie thing run amok,” James sighed, but still plugged into the heat that Steve was giving off behind him.

“Maybe,” Steve admitted. “God, sometimes when you touch me with it…”

“Tell me,” James rushed the words out, that shiver speeding back up his spine.

“I…can I?” Steve asked, his face turning pink. 

“You started it,” James said. “So finish it. Tell me what the arm does to you.”

Steve took a deep breath and bit his lip, and James was starting to think that Steve had locked into what that did for him. “It makes me feel weak. It makes me want to just…give in…to whatever you want from me. Whatever it wants.”

The shiver spread across James’s shoulders, and he swore he felt it rush across the metal. “And that’s…good for you?”

“It’s incredible,” Steve said excitedly, his tentative expression cracking and relief washing over his face, making his blue eyes gleam like the water. “It makes me feel like I can let go, even for a little while. It feels so good to be free of…well, all of it.”

“So the arm…”

“You,” Steve corrected. “The arm, yeah, but it’s you, Buck. You make me feel free.”

The shiver exploded into a blaze that touched nearly every inch of James’s skin, hot enough to make the water boil if that were physically possible. James spun around, pulling the metal hand out of Steve’s gentle grasp. Steve looked stunned, even afraid that maybe he had gone too far. James put his metal hand on Steve’s right knee and moved it slowly up his thigh to his hip. He squeezed the firm flesh, and Steve shuddered, still slightly nervous but undeterred.

“You’re good for me, too, Steve,” James said softly, curving the metal arm around Steve’s waist and pulling him forward, spreading his thighs open with his shoulders. 

Steve smiled, wide and bright. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” James repeated.

With his arm secure around Steve’s waist, James pulled him as gently as possible into the water, holding him against the front of his body. He backed away, letting Steve slip further into the lagoon until they were eye level, and then pressed him against the edge. Despite his best efforts, some water splashed in Steve’s eyes, and he tried blinking it away. James wiped away the droplets with his flesh thumb while his metal hand was splayed wide over the small of Steve’s back, two fingers tracing the edge of Steve’s Speedo.

“Sorry,” James said, his hand curving to cup Steve’s cheek, not lost on him that it was his first time doing that.

“You’re good, Buck,” Steve said, daring to lean into James’s hand.

“And was that good?” James asked, gesturing back with his head while he rubbed a slow circle over Steve’s lower back.  

“Real good,” Steve said, lowering his eyes and biting his lip again, this time clearly on purpose.

“How much time until the meditation thing?” James asked, his metal hand slipping into the back of Steve’s swimsuit and tracing the split of his ass.

“About an hour,” Steve murmured, gasping when James’s finger pushed into his crack and stroked over his hole. “Definitely an hour.”

“What you wanna do with that hour?” James circled Steve’s hole with his finger, keeping the pressure light, feasting on how Steve’s breathing steadily picked up speed.

“Weren’t you…relaxing?” 

“Pretty sure I’m done,” James said, leaning in until their faces were half an inch apart. “Am I done, Stevie?” Steve nodded frantically, but James shook his head. “Words, Rogers.”

“You’re done.”

James could still taste the last syllable on Steve’s tongue when he pressed their mouths together in a deep, hungry kiss. Just as he had explained, Steve melted into James, wrapping his arms around him just to keep himself from slipping, even though James did not intend to let that happen. What he did intend was to use every millisecond that he had to turn Steve into the weak-kneed, free-falling man that he apparently became whenever he touched him. James spent the time wisely, easing up to three of his metal fingers inside Steve while kissing his lips, neck, and inevitably, his chest. With both hands and arms preoccupied, Steve had to do all the work, wrapping his thighs around James’s waist and riding his crotch, rubbing it with the rock-solid mass jutting from Steve’s Speedo. Half of the hour was spent just like that, with James fingering Steve into a frenzy, and Steve thrusting against him, increasingly desperate for release. 

“Make me come,” Steve finally panted against James’s lips in between kisses, nipping the bottom one with his teeth. “Please.”

James pressed Steve against the ledge and yanked the front of his Speedo down, freeing his dick. Instead of wrapping his hand around it, he closed the distance between their bodies, the underside of Steve’s dick pushed up against his stomach. James shifting his torso so that Steve’s dick slotted into the central groove of his abs and started grinding into him. He kissed Steve again as he worked Steve’s body over with his hands, sucking down the moans and cries and feeling Steve’s dick throb heatedly against his submerged skin. James pulled back at the perfect time to see Steve’s exalted face as he climaxed in the water.

“So fucking good, Stevie…” James pulled Steve into his body, his flesh hand stroking the widest stretch of Steve’s back as he gently slipped his metal fingers out of Steve’s swimsuit to hold his middle. “So good.”

“Did you…?” Steve dropped his hand to the front of James’s swim trunks.

“No, but it’s okay,” James said. “You’ll make it up to me later.”

Steve smiled lazily. “Whatever you want, Buck.”

They spent another five minutes floating and kissing in the pool until Steve’s back suddenly straightened, flagging that they needed to get back to their room and clean up for the session. James wasn’t particularly concerned, except for his slowly flaffing erection, but Steve huffed enough as he climbed out of the water and started grabbing their stuff for James to give in. In what felt like record time, Steve and James scurried back to their suite, quickly doused themselves in the shower, and returned to the lagoon in fresh swimsuits. A new staff member was waiting for them at the lagoon, unpacking his bag at the ledge.

“I’m Olaf,” the staff member said as James and Steve approached him. “I will be Buchanan’s meditation specialist today. And that is…?”

“Me,” James said, quickly raising and dropping his hand. “This here’s Grant.”

“Nice to meet you,” Steve said.

“And you as well,” Olaf said with a nod to Steve. “How familiar are you with meditation in general?”

“Uh…” Steve looked at James.

“Let’s just go with nothing,” James said.

Olaf explained, mostly to Steve, that meditation was a practice aimed at helping someone reach a state of calm and relaxation, disconnecting from any and all distractions. According to him, what made float meditation successful was the isolation that floating in the mineral waters offered. He described it as a calming environment in its own right, which makes it easier for someone to lose themselves in and reach a truly meditative state. The idea of losing himself made James uneasy on his feet, but he settled when he felt Steve’s hand rest on and then squeeze his shoulder, a silent insistence that he would be alright.

After Olaf’s explanation, James, Steve, and Olaf removed their robes and went into the water, moving into the middle of the lagoon. As Ida had done with Steve, Olaf guided James onto his back, strapped the flotation devices onto his legs and arms, and put the swim cap on his head. James wondered if the metal arm would float as easily as his other limbs, but it did. He felt strange just lying idly in the water, waiting for Olaf to get started or for himself to start whatever the meditation process was meant to be. He had to resist the urge to be openly frustrated or silently self-deprecating, but Steve being there in the water next to him helped, especially when he made a gesture with his eyebrows that signalled they were on the same page.

“Can I touch him?” Steve asked Olaf. “Just so he knows I’m here?”

“Typically, I would advise against it,” Olaf said. “Because the goal is for him to be completely disconnected from the outside world, even his partner.”

“It’s important,” Steve said with his Captain America tone, its rigidity insisting that it was a non-negotiable condition, reinforced by his arms crossing over his broad chest. He knew it wasn’t the point, but James couldn’t deny that the display was a turn-on.

“I guess we can make a minor adjustment,” Olaf said. “If you believe it will help Buch—”

“It will,” Steve and James interrupted at the same time.

Olaf blinked. “Alright. I think what would be best is if you, Grant, gently place your hands against the center of Buchanan’s back. Very gently. You don’t want to press too firmly against him, as that might be a distraction. The gentlest touch you can muster.”

Steve nodded, and James felt the water ripple underneath him as Steve’s hands moved under him. Steve’s fingertips came up to the tight band of muscles framing James’s spine, his touch light and soft like Olaf instructed. It was more of a graze; James regarded it like a slam against his nerves, making them gasp in delight. He knew Steve could feel his slight tremble, but he didn’t see a smirk or a tease when he turned to look at him. What he saw in Steve’s face was warmth, even better than what the water offered them. It was the kind of warmth that James wanted to wrap himself in.

“You’re gonna be okay, Buck,” Steve said softly. “I’ve got you.”

How much he believed that nearly knocked the breath out of James’s chest.

“What I want you to do is to focus on breathing slowly and deeply,” Olaf said softly. “Nothing else; just your breathing.”

James had to react to what sounded like such a ridiculous request. He turned to Steve and rolled his eyes dramatically. Steve smiled with a tilt of his head, which James took to mean “just do it.” 

So, he did. 

Olaf didn’t say how long it was supposed to take, but James’s ticking internal clock marked the complete disconnect from all other thoughts at roughly 11 minutes. Surprisingly, it wasn’t difficult, but it wasn’t easy. At first, he was preoccupied with how weird this was for him, how practically and functionally unusual it was for him to be floating in water, trying to reach some deeper plane of being. After he got over that, his thoughts drifted to whether he even had the right to be floating in that pool of water in the first place. With what he had done in his life, the things he could and couldn’t remember, why did he deserve to be there, trying to achieve some blissful state of relaxation? The people he killed didn’t have that opportunity; why should he?   

Steve helped his mind stumble over that philosophical hump. If James knew anything in the gradually clearing wreckage that was his life after HYDRA’s public downfall, it was that Steve was good. Frustrating and self-righteous and generally impossible on most occasions, but good at his core. He could’ve been anywhere in the world, saving people or battering down disreputable political structures or even taking a nap in his apartment in DC, but he was there, grounding him with whisper-soft fingers against his back and warm eyes staring down at him. The world wanted Steve, but Steve was his. That had to mean something, and it meant more than enough for James to relax more easily into his floating.

“Now, breathe and drift…”

++

“You…fucking…liar…”

“But it is not a lie,” Christoph said, kneeling in front of Bucky, a newspaper clutched within his vicious grip. “Captain America is dead. It is the lead headline on your rubbish American rag. Look for yourself.”

He straightened the slightly crumpled newspaper and tossed it carelessly in front of Bucky on the floor. Bucky looked down at it. It was a copy of The New York Times, dated April 2nd, 1945. Bucky didn’t read the Times — it was too rich for his blood — but he knew what the newspaper represented. It was the truth, and the truth of the day was that Steve Rogers, Captain America, had been presumed dead, in bold, capitalized letters.

It was inconceivable. 

“You faked this,” Bucky muttered. “He can survive anything. You’re a shit liar.”

Christoph cackled meanly and smacked Bucky square across the face. “You think we would waste time manufacturing a fake newspaper? To what end? To make you feel worse about what was inevitable? This was delivered to us two days ago. I almost kept it from you. It would have been merciful.”

“Mercy…?” That was the word that Bucky had to swallow down his ravaged throat at the tail end of Christoph or Alexander or Alexei or Ivan’s brutal assaults, the pain in his stomach, back, and head aiding in his effort.

Christoph smiled. “I could have let you have hope that your Captain might save you. That, perhaps, he would crash through this door tomorrow, next week, or next year, and free you from these shackles. That is what you are holding on to, correct?”

Correct.

“This is better,” Christoph continued. “I will not shield you from the truth. You will not be saved, Sergeant Barnes. The world thinks you’re dead, and the only man who could rescue you is dead, too. Your life as James Buchanan Barnes is over. Accept it now, accept it forever, so that our work can finally begin.”

Christoph stood up and looked down at Bucky pitifully. He reached down to pick up the newspaper but, after a few seconds of contemplation, pushed it closer to Bucky. Bucky turned to the left, away from it and Christoph, refusing to give either the satisfaction of his weakness. It was the sight of his bloodied stump of an arm, wrapped in shoddy gauze, that forced his eyes forward again. He could still feel it, even though he had been unconscious: his flesh ripping, his bones breaking, the squelch of blood and tendons. It was a miracle that he hadn’t gone mad. Or maybe it was a curse; madness seemed easier compared to this damned alternative.

Bucky looked down at the newspaper again. Beneath those terrible, bold, capital letters was a picture of Steve Rogers. Not Captain America, because the cowl Bucky had ribbed him about countless times was off. It was Steve, smiling, radiating everything good in this disgusting world, even in this dark, dank cell. Bucky didn’t believe that pictures did Steve justice most of the time. He gave off too much light to be caught with the competing flash of a bulb. And yet, somehow, this picture did. This picture, announcing his death, captured everything that Steve Rogers, even before he became the nation’s hero, his hero.

Hope.

If a photojournalist could capture, contain that hope, then maybe Steve Rogers really was gone. Maybe there was no hope left, as it all sat on the front page of the newspaper of record.

“The United States Army announced yesterday afternoon that Captain Steve Rogers, known colloquially as Captain America, has been presumed dead following a successful mission to thwart the Axis…”

++++

He had a friend.

In truth, Bucky knew Sergei was merely a fellow prisoner in their shared cell of eternal hell, but they had formed enough of a rapport for it to feel like more than forced acquaintanceship. Sergei had been a captive of HYDRA for a year longer than him. He was a disgraced soldier who had been captured in Leningrad for attempted desertion. He had explained that his daughter was dying from tuberculosis, and his commanding officer refused to grant him a temporary leave. He didn’t say if his daughter, Kira, had made it, but the implication was that she didn’t. Bucky chose to believe Sergei’s story, because he had to believe in something besides world-bending pain and “the imminent end of the damned American capitalist experiment.” Were there things that Sergei left out? Absolutely, but Bucky could give him the benefit of the doubt.

Steve had taught him that.

Then again, Steve was dead.

Between medical experiments that tested the boundaries of humanity and combat training sessions, Sergei would look out for Bucky. He taught him key words and phrases in Russian, specifically the ones that the guards used, so that he could understand what they were sneering about. Sergei also taught him hussar with a deck of cards that a guard had left behind in their cell after a beating, a cruel parting gift. Bucky thought the game was an overcomplicated type of poker, but he kept his thoughts to himself, quickly getting a handle on it and even beating Sergei a few times. When they weren’t playing cards, Sergei was covertly teaching him combat measures to protect him when the most vicious guards wanted to crack at them. Bucky had become good at what Sergei called the “dead barrel roll,” where he rolled his body over at least four times the second he felt the beginning force of a kick. It gave the look of excruciating pain without the actual feeling. It saved Bucky more times than he could count.

So, yes, even in hell, Bucky had a friend.

“You cheated,” Bucky said, tossing his cards to the side as Sergei laughed.

“You need to be better at bluffing,” Sergei said, putting his cards down.

“This game is dumb,” Bucky muttered, leaning back against the wall. 

“And yet, you continue to play,” Sergei said.

“Not much else to do here when we’re not in the yard,” Bucky said, immediately regretting the reminder of their circumstances. 

“Believe me, I would much rather be underneath a beautiful nurse or soldier right now,” Sergei said with an easy smile.

Wait, whaddya mean?” Bucky asked, his face scrunching.

“Exactly what I said,” Sergei said.

Bucky was confused, thinking he must’ve misunderstood. “You…go with men?”

“From time to time,” Sergei said. “Not that there are options for either right now.”

“You have a wife,” Bucky said, slightly amazed at how stupid he sounded saying it.

“And I love her,” Sergei said. “My attractions outside my marriage don’t change my feelings. She understood that.”

“So…you stepped out on her?”

“I take that as an American expression for an affair,” Sergei said, slightly irritated. “No. I did not betray my wife. She agreed to allow me my dalliances while I was at war, with either man or woman.”

“What a wife,” Bucky said.

“What I did was irrelevant as long as I came home to her,” Sergei said. “Unfortunately, I failed, so maybe I was unfaithful.”

Bucky felt his chest clench. It was the first time that had happened in 16 months. It was 16 months ago when he accepted that Steve was dead.

“You weren’t,” Bucky said, reaching forward to touch Sergei’s knee, but could only get as far as the middle space between them. 

“Thank you, comrade,” Sergei said, patting his side of the space. 

“I told you not to call me that,” Bucky said, his face warming, less in anger but in embarrassment.

“I could not help myself,” Sergei said, shrugging his shoulders. “It is one of my favorite pastimes in this shithole.”

“What?”

“Kicking your patriot ass in hussar and making you blush.”

Bucky snorted through the beginnings of his blush.

It felt good to have a friend, not someone who could replace Steve, but could at least remind him that he was still the man Steve could have cared for if he were still alive. What Bucky had failed to account for was that HYDRA did not function for good. HYDRA didn’t just kill good; it eradicated every marker of its brief existence. 

Which meant that he wasn’t meant to have a friend for long. 

++

It had to have been two weeks later, two more weeks of card games and covert fight lessons and jokes about past lovers, before it was all over. Sergei had been pulled out of the cell earlier that morning, which was already strange. Usually, they were pulled out together. Bucky started worrying when he couldn’t hear any screams or cries from a distant interrogation room. It was guaranteed pain, but at least it meant Sergei was alive. 

Sometime in the afternoon, Sergei returned to the cell with a guard holding a gun at his back. His eyes were blank, inscrutable. He looked like he had been told something that snuffed out whatever kindling flame he reserved for himself. It scared Bucky, but he bit back the instinct to yell at the guard. He knew that would only make things worse. 

“How long have you been this traitor’s whore?” the guard, Nicholas, barked out. 

Bucky’s blood ran cold. “What?”

“We should have accounted for you dogs humping each other,” Nicholas sneered as he jammed the gun hard into Sergei’s back. “Fucking desperate whores.”

“We never…” Bucky shook his head frantically. “We’re friends…”

Like he and Steve were friends. 

Right?

“What a word for swallowing his cum,” Nicholas said. “Well, if you need to get fucked so badly, I am happy to oblige you. You are up for your next training anyway.”

Bucky didn’t know what Nicholas was talking about. What did sex have to do with combat?

“He’s gonna fuck you,” Nicholas said. “Prep you for the commander.”

“No,” Bucky said without thinking. 

“You speak as if you have a choice,” Nicholas said. “You should be grateful. He likes you. He may even make you come. It’s more than a dog like you deserves.”

Bucky looked at Sergei as if he had the answers, like he usually did. But he knew he didn’t. The fire in those eyes that burned with answers and solutions was gone. All that was left was a man with an order. 

“Forgive him his silence,” Nicholas said, looking at Sergei’s blank face. “He just received terrible news about his wife and daughter. You are doing him a favor as well. Help him forget.”

What was left of Bucky’s heart broke for Sergei. He wanted to help; he would’ve done anything, but not this. 

“Take off your clothes,” Nicholas said to Sergei. 

Bucky’s body froze in panic as Sergei mechanically stripped off his clothes until he was naked. Bucky shuddered at the bruises on Sergei’s hips and thighs. Bizarrely, he was also erect. Bucky couldn’t understand how he could be aroused in a moment as horrifying as this. It made his mind race with all kinds of possibilities, the worst being that their friendship had been a lie, and that it was all a trap to take advantage of him. It’s what all the guys on the docks would warn of when they talked during breaks, when the guy who tried to secretly go with men walked by. 

“Impressive,” Nicholas said. “The compound worked faster than Dr. Brushev said.”

Compound? They drugged Sergei? Bucky’s head was spinning; he thought he was about to faint. Maybe that would’ve been easier. 

“Strip him.”

Sergei approached Bucky, making Bucky jump to his feet and retreat until the wall stopped him. Sergei kept moving closer until their bodies were pressed together, his penis pressing into Bucky’s thin prison pants. Sergei grabbed the fabric covering Bucky and tore it away like it was nothing, leaving him equally nude. The first glimmer of recognition flickered in Sergei’s eyes. They were focused on the metal arm, crudely fused to his torso, the flesh still raw and achy, just starting to scar. It didn’t function yet: the commander had said it needed a few more weeks for Bucky’s body not to reject the initial implant. When Sergei’s eyes returned to Bucky’s face, Bucky saw an overwhelming look of guilt and shame. He also saw resignation, an acceptance of what was about to happen. 

“You don’t…” Bucky shook his head furiously, trying to keep his eyes from clouding with tears. “You don’t have to…”

“I’m sorry, comrade,” Sergei said, the last word sounding especially miserable.

Sergei dragged Bucky to his knees on the floor. Bucky immediately started fighting, using every trick Sergei had taught him to keep him off as long as possible. The best he could manage in an effective hit was a knee to Sergei’s lower stomach, making him sputter as he tried to regain his breath. He made it two inches before Sergei grabbed his thighs and yanked him back and spread them, holding them open. 

“Don’t fight,” Sergei said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then don’t!” Bucky shouted. “Don’t do this!” His mind raced as he tried to think of what he could say to stop this from happening. 

“Pozhaluysta!”

It was Russian for “please.” Sergei warned him only to use the word when he was most desperate. It was a word that denoted weakness in the Soviet Army. They abhorred weakness. 

Bucky saw another flicker of recognition in Sergei’s eyes. It was deep sadness. It wouldn’t change anything. 

“Don’t fight,” Sergei repeated, this time with more of a plea. “I can make it good for you. Just don’t move.”

Bucky refused. He had to fight. It’s what Steve would’ve done. 

But then again, Steve was dead. 

Still, Bucky fought, kicking, punching, and kneeing. He didn’t stop. He fought through the pain, the humiliation, and Sergei’s attempts to “make it good.” They both knew that there was nothing good here. There would never be anything good between them ever again. 

Sergei finished and rolled away. Bucky lay lax on the floor, exhausted from fighting Sergei. He didn’t bother trying to cover himself or clean up the mess that Sergei had made of him. He didn’t see the point. He stared at the ceiling, trying to count the cracks. It was something to focus on, anything but what his body felt, what his soul felt, assuming he had one left.

“You’ll do better with the commander,” Nicholas muttered with a tsk. “You should bleed less, at least. I thought you were his whore.”

Bucky wasn’t Sergei’s whore. He wasn’t his friend. He wasn’t his anything. He wasn’t anyone’s anything, not anymore. 

Sergei and Bucky didn’t share a single word or glance for the rest of the day, trapped in their own private hells instead of the one they briefly shared. 

The next day, Sergei was taken from the cell early in the morning. 

The following day, or the day after, another guard informed Bucky that Sergei had been decommissioned. Sergei had taught him that that meant death. Sergei was dead. 

That was for the best. 

++++

The Asset had been waiting on the roof of a building in Belgrade for two hours. He had been stationed across from the residence of the chief dissident diplomat of Yugoslavia, a boorish man whose criticisms of the Soviet Union had gone from a mild irritation to a legitimate threat that needed to be neutralized. 

The Asset had usually been commissioned only for clean missions. However, the commander wanted a similar visual to the assassination of President Kennedy. They wanted it to be gruesome, so that the people of Yugoslavia understood in no uncertain terms that the embrace of democracy would not be tolerated. The Asset had trouble parsing the request at first. The Kennedy mission had been labeled a critical failure, and he suffered greatly for it. 

Then he remembered that it wasn’t his job to determine the logistical reason for a mission. He executed orders. 

The Asset finally saw movement through the scope of the sniper rifle. He assumed the diplomat had been at a dinner or another demonstration. It didn’t matter, though. It would be over for him in one, deliberately messy shot. 

But then he saw her. 

It was a woman walking into the living room. She had black hair that cascaded down her shoulders. She was wearing a black dress with wide straps over her shoulders. She had pale skin with ruby red lips and a dazzling smile. 

She looked like Becca. 

Bucky suddenly felt his mind go blank and then spin with blazing images: his sister Becca sitting at the kitchen table rushing through bites of toast before the school bus came; Becca screaming at Bucky for stealing her hair brush to play gunfights with Steve in the yard; Becca hugging Bucky after their father shouted at him for wrecking his brand new bike and gave him a nasty shiner. Becca always did that, protected him when he needed to be protected. He modeled how he looked after Steve on how she looked after him. 

He knew that there was no way Becca could be there, but whoever this woman was looked so much like her that it scrambled his brain. All he saw was Becca. It’s all he knew in that moment. 

Except that he needed to pull the trigger. 

Bucky waited to see if he could see the diplomat come to the window, but all he saw was Becca. He couldn’t possibly shoot her, could he? What if he had read the files wrong? What if she were the diplomat, and that there was no man? What if it was a test? What if this woman really were Becca?

He wasn’t supposed to assess logistical reasons for missions. He was to execute orders.

He aimed his rifle at the woman and placed his finger on the trigger. He was ready to pull.

But he didn’t.

He couldn’t.

He couldn’t shoot Becca. 

Becca was still alive; she had to be. His parents were probably dead. Steve was dead. She was all that remained of James Buchanan Barnes. He couldn’t kill her.

Bucky felt his insides freeze, nausea building in his stomach and threatening to expel into his mask. It made his vision blurry. He could feel his brain splitting in two. He couldn’t think like this.

He blinked and pulled the trigger in an instant, his rifle drifting several centimeters down.

It was an accident, a mistake.

The Asset wasn’t supposed to make mistakes.

He heard glass shatter. He looked through the scope, and his heart burst into flames.

He saw Becca, no, the woman, screaming. She was on her knees, holding a boy's head in her hands. She was covered in blood, his blood. She was holding grey matter, his grey matter. The boy’s face didn’t exist anymore. She screamed, loud enough for Bucky to hear. It sounded like death. 

He had killed Becca’s son. He had killed his nephew.

Bucky felt tears stream down his face, but he didn’t retreat from the scope. He couldn’t help but watch, suspended in horror, watching the carnage he inflicted on the child who had the misfortune of having a mother who bore Bucky’s sister’s face.

A man ran into the room and screamed, kneeling next to the woman and her son. He was the diplomat. He looked up at the window where the bullet came through. He probably didn’t see Bucky's face, but Bucky saw his. He saw horror, misery, and unfathomable pain. 

He wouldn’t survive it.

Bucky pulled the trigger two more times.

He watched as the bodies of the man and the woman crumpled to the floor. The sight was gruesome, as ordered. Blood everywhere, remains virtually unrecognizable.

Bucky sat up and away from the sniper rifle. He put his face in his flesh and metal hands and sobbed until he was nearly dehydrated and couldn’t breathe. He cried until he had nothing left. He had to. He had to be sure nothing was left inside of him, nothing that could distract him, nothing that would make something like this happen again.

He cried for the man, the woman, and their son. He cried for Becca. He cried for his parents. He cried for Sergei. He cried for the Howling Commandos and Peggy,

Finally, he cried for Steve.

And then, he thanked God that Steve would never see what he had become.

Eventually, it stood, collected its weapons, and went to the stairwell. It had to deliver its report to the commanders within 90 minutes. It would be defined as a success.

It successfully killed the Yugoslav diplomat, his wife, and his son.

And Bucky Barnes.

++++

“You’re getting better.”

Andrei leaned over to the bedside table, grabbed his cigar and lighter, and lit it. He took a long drag, leaned back, and exhaled. Some smoke naturally drifted over to the Asset, but it did not react. It had trained itself not to respond in any way to Andrei’s secondhand smoke. The smoke could burn its skin off, and it would remain silent and still. 

“Your ass isn’t tight as it should be,” Andrei said. “I might lay off you for a few days, get you back into working order.

The Asset understood. It had participated in sexual service more than the usual allotted amount. Even with the serum, it needed time to recover properly, especially after withstanding Andrei’s preferred methods. 

 “You want a smoke?” Andrei offered, chuckling.

The Asset didn’t respond. It wasn’t supposed to react without direct permission from Andrei. Andrei knew that.

“You really are getting better.” Andrei took another drag of his cigarette and put it out on The Asset’s left shoulder, a few inches from the metal arm’s scarring. It burned, but the Asset didn’t react. “You know what to say about that, right?”

“Nothing,” the Asset replied.

“I don’t need the general up my ass for fucking around with the weapons,” Andrei muttered. “You’ll be shipped out to Russia on special assignment in a few days. Some bitches need specialized training and HYDRA made an offer. You won’t see me for some time.”

The Asset didn’t react. 

++++

“What did they do to you?”

Tatiana Theodrovna stared in horror as the Asset removed the last of its clothes. The Asset didn’t understand its new handler’s statement. It knew it was in peak physical condition, which it knew was a key component of sexual service. It had the proper weight, height, and musculature. As far as it understood, it was perfect.

It looked down and saw what she saw. Its body was covered in bruises. The Asset assumed that the contusions would be healed by now. Andrei had been uniquely brutal after its mission failure, but the Asset’s visible damage should have been significantly less due to the serum. Some bruises looked particularly unpleasant on the Asset’s stomach and thighs. There were also bruises on the Asset’s backside, but Andrei did not submit it to sexual service so as not to violate HYDRA’s agreement with the Red Room for an “anatomically clean” instructor. It didn’t know if the bruises also violated the agreement. It would be bad if it did. The Asset might be decommissioned if the agreement were cancelled.

Tatiana looked upon the Asset with pity. She stood from the bed and approached it, placing her hand on the jagged, scarred flesh protruding from the metal arm. The Asset looked down, still confused. The scarring looked better than usual. There were no tears or infections that were typically caused by missions. It should’ve been satisfactory.

“How they hurt you,” Tatiana murmured, her fingers stroking close to the scars and then briefly grazing them.

The Asset didn’t react. It was ordered not to react without Tatiana’s express permission.

“Come,” Tatiana said gruffly. “Follow me.”

The Asset followed Tatiana into the bathroom. It was spacious, the endless marble fixtures gleaming in the light. Tatiana quickly turned on the water to fill the bathtub and grabbed a few bottles of liquid from underneath her sink. She drizzled the liquids into the tub, and the Asset was struck with smells it couldn’t identify, but his cortex registered as “good.” It didn’t know what warranted such a designation; it didn’t necessarily know what “good” was supposed to mean in this context.

Even though it was thinking, the Asset didn’t react.

“Get in the tub,” Tatiana said firmly, pointing at the sudsy water.

The Asset climbed into the tub and sat down. The water was hot, but it wasn’t the heat the Asset was usually subjected to. That heat from pressurized hoses was scalding, a few degrees below first-degree burns. This heat was easy and welcoming. It sank into its skin and made it feel…good.

The Asset didn’t react.

Tatiana knelt next to the tub with a washcloth. The Asset had never used one before, only having seen them in the bathrooms of mission targets. She dipped it into the water to soak it and brought it to its left shoulder. The Asset let out a single grunt and froze. It had violated protocol. It wasn’t supposed to reach without express permission.

“What did you just do?” Tatiana asked, her eyes narrowing in confusion. “Response relay.”

“The Asset requires express permission to react or respond to any and all stimuli,” the Asset said, detailing the protocol.

“I see…” Tatiana said. “I permit you. You are to respond to all stimuli, pleasant or painful.”

The Asset blinked. It had been some time since he had been granted such permission. It felt stuck. Now that it had been permitted to respond, it worried that its body would be unable to perform as Tatiana ordered and would be punished. 

“Speak,” Tatiana said. “How do you feel?”

Tatiana squeezed water from the washcloth down the Asset’s back. As ordered, the Asset reacted, gasping as the heat eased the tightness in its muscles. It shivered, suddenly afraid of what its body was allowed to feel. It didn’t want to say the wrong thing. 

“Good,” the Asset said flatly.

“Are you lying?” Tatiana asked. “You are shivering. You are not supposed to lie to me. That is forbidden.”

Lying was forbidden. Committing a forbidden act would result in mission failure. It would lead to dismantling and reconstruction. It didn’t want that. It wasn’t supposed to want, but it didn’t want that.

“Scared,” the Asset said, the word so foreign to it that it made it cough almost violently.

“Shhhhh,” Tatiana said, rubbing the Asset’s back, helping to ease its coughing fit. “I do not want you to fear me, do you understand?”

The Asset, staring straight ahead, nodded.

“Look at me,” Tatiana ordered. “Let me see your face.”

The Asset hesitated because it was allowed to respond to stimuli, including sound. It obeyed after a few seconds, turning to look at her. Her eyes were warm as the water, and she smiled at it. Not many people smiled at it. It didn’t know what the correct response was without a direct order.

“Are you afraid of me? Be honest.”

The Asset was afraid of everything, including her. It had been so long, longer than its most recent memory, since it had been allowed to feel fear. It overwhelmed it.

“Yes.”

“Lean back,” Tatiana said gently. 

The Asset hesitated again, because leaning back in water usually meant being waterboarded as punishment for a failed mission. Tatiana nodded at him, and it leaned back, resting its neck against the lip of the tub. She dipped the washcloth in the water again and slowly started rubbing it over the front of its body. The touch was…nice. It felt…good. 

“How do you feel now?” Tatiana asked as she stroked the washcloth across the breadth of the Asset’s chest.

“Good,” the Asset replied. It gasped when she applied pressure to a deep bruise near its sternum, and its eyes widened in panic, terrified that it had responded out of turn and that she would think it was lying. “I didn’t—”

“It’s alright,” Tatiana said, her eyes softening with sadness. “I do not believe you were being untruthful. You did not violate your order. Tell me how that felt.”

“Bad,” the Asset said, its flat tone wavering.

“As long as you are under my jurisdiction,” Tatiana said. “You will not be hurt. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” The Asset’s voice wavered more. 

Tatiana was more careful touching the Asset’s torso. Her strokes were tender where the bruises were darkest, and deep where the flesh was unmarred. It confused the Asset at first; all touches should’ve hurt. It started acclimating to her touches, allowing itself to feel the sensations that slowly worked through its skin and muscles. It felt more than good. It didn’t know it was possible to feel more than good. Its body shivered again, but bizarrely, the shivering was pleasant. Even more bizarrely, it wanted to feel more.

It wasn’t sure if it was supposed to want to feel more. 

“I…” The Asset was afraid again. It wasn’t supposed to ask for things.

As if reading its mind, Tatiana said, “You may ask.”

“I…can you…touch…me?” The words felt strange in the Asset’s mouth.

“Yes,” Tatiana cooed. 

Tatiana’s hand slipped down the Asset’s stomach, and her long fingers curled around the shaft of its penis. The Asset’s eyes widened, expecting an immediate shock of pain, but nothing came. She simply held it, as if she were testing its weight in her hand.

“How do you feel?” Tatiana asked.

“Scared,” the Asset said. It was more complicated than that, but it was the only word that seemed to fit.

“Would you like me to stop?” 

“Will it hurt?” Again, the words formed into a question felt weird in the Asset’s mouth.

“I will do my best to make sure it doesn’t,” Tatiana said. “But if you would like to stop, I will. I believe you’ve suffered enough for the time being.”

The Asset hadn’t considered what it had been through as “suffering.” It was simply inevitable, a consequence of its existence. This was much more terrifying. There were many more unknowns in this situation, and with this handler. The opportunities for failure were glaring. Failure could be cataclysmic.

And yet, no one had touched the Asset in such a way. If someone had, it didn’t remember.

It wanted to remember; if there were no memories, it wanted this one.

The Asset shook its head.

Tatiana smiled and started slowly moving her hand up and down the Asset’s penis. At first, the Asset felt nothing. It had been weaned off the sexual depressants for at least five days in preparation for Tatiana, but its body still responded as if they were still in its system. It worried that Tatiana would consider it defective, which would be a mission failure. She didn’t appear disturbed or offended, but she did stop. She reached her other hand into the water and stroked the Asset’s chest. The Asset relaxed some more, feeling stirrings and warmth in its groin. It exhaled, feeling comfortable now that it had gotten used to responding to touch. It felt his penis harden in her loose grip, and she resumed stroking it. The Asset moaned softly, and the release it felt was like a wave washing over it. It was relief. It was pleasure.

It took time, but soon the Asset was fully erect. It was starting to squirm in the water, its body craving more of Tatiana’s touch. She kept her hands gentle and soothing, seemingly less concerned with outright arousal than making the Asset’s body feel something that resembled “good,” because it was so unfamiliar with it. It knew pleasure, but in an abstract, autonomic form. It was incidental, a byproduct of a handler’s abuses or a target’s release. Whatever release its body was experiencing had almost nothing to do with it. It was as if it were happening to another being.

The Asset was fully immersed in its body’s pleasure this time. It could feel the sensations building. It awoke nerves in body parts it typically didn’t associate with anything. It tingled as Tatiana’s fingers rubbed over its nipples, making them hard. The muscles in its abdomen trembled when she caressed its sharply carved edges. The whole of his erection throbbed with each stroke of her hand, her palm rubbing along the fleshy cap. The Asset gasped when she repeated that particular motion, and it felt a slight drip of fluid from its slit. She smiled as she started stroking again, keeping the same, gentle, easy pace that slowly unstitched the Asset at the seams.

“Let it come,” Tatiana said. “Yasha, let it come. Release yourself.”

The Asset wasn’t supposed to want, but it wanted to release. It wanted to follow Tatiana’s command, although it was framed as a request. It didn’t know the protocol for requests, but it wanted to follow it just the same. The Asset’s moans deepened, and its body rose against her hands to meet her touch. Its skin was buzzing, and it was throbbing everywhere. It felt pressure building steadily in its groin, making the blood quicken in the veins of its erection. The sensations were building on top of each other, threatening to suffocate the Asset. It wanted to suffocate. It wanted to be free.

“Come, Yasha.”

Tatiana’s voice shattered the steel inside the Asset. The Asset cried and arched as its body achieved release, its erection throbbing and spilling semen into the water. Its body felt like it was malfunctioning; the stimulation was too intense. Its synapses were firing too fast and too hard. It started thrashing, its metal arm grabbing the marble lip of the tub to ground itself. The malfunction was critical; it would certainly mean being decommissioned for an extended period, years even. The thought horrified it, but the pleasure was so overwhelming that it didn’t care. Tatiana didn’t seem to care either, touching and stroking the Asset through the malfunction. The Asset thought that it was done until it felt a finger slip behind its testicles and gently push into its perineum. 

“You’re so good, Yasha,” Tatiana cooed in the Asset’s ear. “Allow yourself just a little more.”

The Asset felt another burst of pleasure rush through its erection, spurring what must have been another release. Its body froze as the last pump of semen spilled from his erection, and it relaxed in a flash, all of the tension held in its muscles vanishing. The Asset sank into the water, its limbs feeling completely shut down. It could only move its head, which turned to look at Tatiana. Its head started shaking. It was malfunctioning again. It was failing; it had to be. 

“Oh, darling,” Tatiana said as she moved her hands to the Asset’s shoulders, encouraging it to move towards her. “Come here.”

The Asset followed her lead, sitting up in the tub and allowing her to wrap her arms around its shoulders. It simply gripped the side of the tub as she held it, her hands stroking the top of its back.

“You are alright now,” Tatiana said. 

“Yasha?” The Asset didn’t understand.

“That is your name while you are under my care,” Tatiana said. 

Assets didn’t have names; they had designations. It wanted to say as much but didn’t want to speak out of turn. It felt like an affront to what Tatiana had allowed it to experience.

“Yasha,” Tatiana repeated. “You are safe.”

Yasha was a rough, indirect translation of another name in English. The Asset searched his memory to find it, trying to keep from freezing up from the effort. The name came to him.

James. 

The Asset closed his eyes as the name washed over him, spurring a tear to slip from his eye. 

It didn’t understand why.

++++

“You were raped,” Natalia said softly.

Yasha knew the word's definition, but it didn’t see how it applied to it. Rape was an act done to a person. Yasha wasn’t a person.

“I don’t understand,” Yasha said.

Natalia looked at the Asset sadly, shifting the sheet up over her body, a strange display of modesty considering that they had just had intercourse. “What your handler did to you, the other ones, too…they forced you to have sex, yes?”

“Forced…” Yasha still didn’t understand.

“Did you want to have sex with your handlers, your targets?” Natalia asked. 

“Assets are not supposed to want,” Yasha said, repeating the third most important lesson it had ever learned from HYDRA.

“The absence of choice amounts to force,” Natalia said. “And rape…” She sighed. “It is a sexual act of force.”

“I…was forced…” Yasha said the words. It didn’t know if it understood them fully.

“Which means…” Natalia paused, expecting Yasha to finish her sentence.

“I…was…raped…” Yasha said each word slowly. 

Yasha had holes in its memory from its routine decommissions, but it had flashes of Andrei, Monika, and Boris. He had flashes of a Latvian councilmember mounting him, and a Polish lawyer riding him in bed. It saw itself in the shower of a Sokovian mayor’s apartment, cleaning his backside of semen and small traces of blood, and then washing said mayor when it stepped into the shower. It saw an Azerbaijani woman gasping in pleasure, clawing at its back, as it thrust steadily into her while her husband, an interior minister of the Azerbaijan SSR, watched and stroked himself. 

According to Natalia, they were all examples of rape. 

“What about us?” Yasha asked, looking down at its nude body and her covered one. 

“I wanted to have sex with you,” Natalia said. “And you have wanted to have sex with me, yes? No one told you that you had to?”

Yasha shook its head.

“The circumstances aren’t perfect,” Natalia said. “But no, this isn’t rape. It’s consensual sex, for the most part.”

“And consensual is good?” Yasha asked.

“Yes,” Natalia said, smiling warmly at the Asset. “Consensual is good.”

Yasha didn’t fully understand, but it knew Natalia was intelligent and understood things that it didn’t. And she treated it well. She treated it like a person, even though it wasn’t one. It wanted to treat her well, treat her like Tatiana had treated him.

“Can we?” Yasha moved onto its knees and moved closer to her. 

“Yes,” Natalia met Yasha on her knees, letting it gently fall on top of her and kiss her, pulling her thighs around its waist.

++++

“She gave you a name. That’s cute. Stupid bitch.”

Yasha was lying face-first on the ground, its pants ripped down to the middle of its thighs. 

Andrei had raped Yasha. There was a name for it now. Natalia gave it to it.

But it knew it wouldn’t remember, just like it wouldn’t remember the name that Tatiana gave it. It would be decommissioned and wiped.

Its time as Yasha was officially over. Its time as a pseudo-person was over.

It was the Asset.

++

“The man on the bridge…who was he?”

“You met him earlier this week on another assignment,” Alexander Pierce said, leaning over in front of the Asset.

“I knew him.”

Pierce sat down in front of the Asset. “Your work has been a gift to mankind. You shaped the century. And I need you to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos. Tomorrow morning, we’re gonna give it a push. But if you don’t do your part, I can’t do mine. And HYDRA can’t give it the freedom it deserves.”

“But I knew him.”

++

“I love you, Bucky,” Steve said softly. “Not just as a friend, or a lover, or whatever we’ve been to each other. I love you with everything that’s inside of me. So no, I can’t go back to who I was before you. I don’t know that person anymore, and I don’t want to know him. I want you…I need you.”

“Steve…” James said, not knowing what word was meant to follow.

“I can’t go back,” Steve repeated. “Now that I know what we could be, I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you to someone else or something else or your own mind. I’ll fight everyone; I’ll fight the whole planet. And yes, I’ll even fight you. I’ll fight everything to have you in my life.”

++

James opened his eyes.

Chapter Text

Steve didn’t know what to do.

Usually, not knowing what to do somehow worked in his favor. He had enough conviction and faith in what he knew was right to power him through any trial and tribulation. He would cast perceived obstacles to the wind and batter down any remaining walls in his path until he got where he needed to go and reached what and who he needed to reach.

He couldn’t do that this time.

The silence between Steve and Bucky had been deafening after the meditation session. Steve knew the minute Bucky opened his eyes that something was wrong. He didn’t know what, but his eyes were unfocused, cagey, and terrified in a way that Steve didn’t know was humanly possible. He looked like whatever he had seen had blown his world to smithereens. He looked like his mind or, God forbid, his soul had been razed. 

What Steve did know how to do was obfuscate. Steve stepped in before Olaf could pepper Bucky with light questions that struck too close to whatever home he had left. He mostly lied, talking about how peaceful Bucky looked in the water, how relaxed he seemed, and how curious Steve was to try it out for himself. The only true thing he told Olaf was that he felt like something had changed in Bucky. It was enough spin for Olaf to let Bucky alone, or maybe Olaf was more perceptive than that and knew Bucky needed time. Either way, he was grateful that Olaf gently removed the float accessories and retreated from the lagoon, leaving him and Bucky alone in the water.

Steve simply waited in the water next to Bucky. He didn’t try to touch him or speak to him. He wasn't sure he would even get a reaction if he did. So he waited and watched, trying to catch any changes in Bucky’s expression or physicality that signaled what was happening inside him.

After 20 minutes, Bucky started slowly moving towards the ledge of the pool. Steve followed a couple of paces behind him. Bucky placed his hands on the ledge to push himself up and out, but he didn’t. He stayed like that, frozen in place. Steve finally saw something: Bucky’s back was trembling. Steve couldn’t see Bucky’s face, but he didn’t need to. The sight of a hesitant Bucky trembling was harrowing enough.

He moved like a floating leaf next to Bucky at the ledge. Steve finally got a glimpse of Bucky’s face, and the bottom dropped out from under his gut. There were shadows in his eyes. He looked haunted, paralyzed. His hands gripped the ledge, and Steve saw the veins popping out from his right hand. He was trying to move, but couldn’t.

Steve wanted to help, but he was afraid to speak. He didn’t know if breaking the silence would break Bucky. But he had to do something. It genuinely looked like his metal hand would break the minerals, and his flesh hand would explode from the pressure of his fingers.

“Can I help you…get on the ledge?” Steve asked so softly that it was possible Bucky might not hear it. He wanted to make a clean, easy offer with answers of either “yes” or “no.” Sam had told him that veterans suffering from an episode of post-traumatic stress responded positively to simple questions with simple responses. Granted, there was nothing simple about Bucky, but he just wanted to help.

Bucky made a single nod with his head.

Steve exhaled softly in relief. He had done something right. He could hug Sam for an hour. Following that path of advice, he asked another question to get a firm read on Bucky’s boundaries.

“Can I touch you on your sides to help you get onto the ledge?” Steve tried for as much specificity as possible in his request.

Bucky made a weak, wounded noise in his throat, and it nearly shattered Steve’s heart. Then, Bucky nodded again.

“Okay,” Steve said softly. “I’m going to put my hands on your sides and lift you up onto the ledge.”

Bucky didn’t react. 

Steve drifted behind Bucky and placed his hands on Bucky’s ribs. Bucky gasped softly, and Steve instinctively wanted to let go, but didn’t. He didn’t want to retreat and betray the path of action he had laid out for Bucky. Instead, he gave himself and Bucky a moment, then squeezed and lifted him up. Bucky managed to turn in Steve’s hold and sat down on the ledge, his legs dangling in the water. It was a purely mechanical act. Bucky still looked haunted in his eyes and on his face. He stared straight ahead at the open space beyond the farthest border of the lagoon, looking to the mountains in the distance. Steve wondered what he saw on the horizon.

“Can I sit next to you on the ledge?” Steve asked, still in the water, not directly in front of Bucky.

Bucky didn’t look at Steve, but he nodded.

Steve slowly climbed out of the water and sat next to Bucky. He kept a couple of hands' distance between them, as badly as he wanted to reach over and touch him, any part of him. He looked at Bucky. He sat ramrod straight, his face still trained forward. Steve expected to feel something wafting off of him, even if it was just the heat from the water. He felt nothing.

Steve didn’t know what to do but just sit there with Bucky. He didn’t try to get his attention or ask a question. He didn’t look ahead to see what Bucky was looking at or for in the distance, either. His eyes were focused solely on Bucky, so Steve would know if so much as Bucky’s nostril flared. He lost sight of Bucky once, and it nearly destroyed him. It did destroy him. God and his mysterious ways had given him an unfathomable but glorious second chance. He wouldn’t fail again.

They sat that way for more than half an hour. Steve didn’t care or mind. It didn’t look like Bucky did, either.

Then, Bucky spoke.

“I’m not real.”

Steve’s breath froze in his lungs. He couldn’t speak, even if he wanted to. He didn’t want to. Actually, he did want to. He wanted to ask what Bucky meant, and regardless of the answer, he wanted to crush whatever he meant into dust, because whatever he meant couldn’t have been good.

But that wouldn’t have been right. Those would’ve been words for Steve’s benefit, or at least Bucky would’ve heard them that way. And perhaps he would’ve been right. Maybe he wanted to force Bucky to believe he was real because the idea that Bucky didn’t think he was real made Steve’s soul bleed.

What good was Steve’s soul bleeding or not bleeding to Bucky?

So Steve sat silent, waiting for him to speak again.

“I saw it,” Bucky said. “Pieces of my life.”

Steve remained silent.

“I saw myself reading that you were dead in HYDRA’s cell.”

Steve felt a light slash against his soul. He kept his mind purposely blank, so as not to imagine what he said.

“I saw my friend, Sergei. My only friend. With HYDRA. He kept me alive. And then he tore me apart. And it wasn’t his choice. But he did it.”

Steve didn’t understand, but he remained silent and kept his mind blank.

“I saw Becca. And her son. It wasn’t them. But I saw them. And I killed them. I destroyed them with bullets. And I died. I killed myself.”

Steve shook his head because he knew it wasn’t true. Becca Barnes died about a decade ago of liver cancer. He checked. He laid flowers at her grave in Forest Lawn Cemetery. But again, he didn’t speak. He had to let Bucky finish whatever was on his mind, on his heart.

“I was raped, more times than I will ever remember and I didn’t know what rape was until the Widow told me. And then I forgot.”

Steve didn’t know how to process that. He didn’t know if he should ask Natasha about it. He didn’t know if he should feel betrayed that she didn’t tell him any of this, or grateful that Bucky had someone there to treat him with any glimmer of grace and care. Maybe it was both.

Still, Steve stayed silent.

“I had a name. With her. They gave me one. They gave me a name. They made me real.” Bucky blinked, and a tear slid down his left cheek. “And he took it all away. He took my name. My body. He made me fake again.”

Steve knew Bucky was talking about Andrei, and he assumed that whatever this name was was given to him by Natasha’s trainer in the Red Room. He wanted to seek out whatever remains he could of Andrei’s body and incinerate them. He wanted to find any associate of Andrei’s and incinerate them too. Not because of what they took from him, but solely because of what they took from Bucky. They took what seemed like a lifeline, what must’ve felt like a lifetime. Andrei stole pieces of Bucky’s soul, and there wasn’t a ring in hell hot enough for his retribution to be satisfactory. 

Steve’s hands clutched his thighs, leaving marks with his nails, but he stayed silent.

“I remembered you.”

Steve blinked.

“Before the helicarrier. After we fought on the bridge, I remembered you. I knew you. I knew your face. They took you away. And I found you. I knew nothing. But I knew you. And they took you away.”

Steve didn’t breathe until Bucky spoke again.

Another, more furious tear slipped down Bucky’s face. “They knew. They knew I would find you. I lost you. They stole you. They killed you. You killed you, and you left me there, and they knew, even after all this time, I would find you. I would find you and know you because you were all I knew. So they took you again.”

Steve let out a pained gasp, his eyes shutting as a few tears slid down his face. He opened them again, disgusted with himself for losing sight of Bucky, even for a moment.

“I’m not real,” Bucky said. “I’m not a person. I was a person. Your friend. But I killed him. I killed him. I killed him because you’d…” He exhaled. “You’d never forgive me. For letting them break me. For letting me break me. I gave myself to HYDRA, and they made a thing. And then for a minute, I let myself believe I could be real, but then I remembered I’m not. I’m a thing.”

Steve had survived death. He knew what it was like to die. He may have come back, but he knew death. He almost knew death at the hands of Bucky. This was unequivocally worse than death. This was the destruction of the thing inside him that made him Steve Rogers. He didn’t know pain like this was possible.

But he stayed silent.

“You said before that we made love,” Bucky said. “That first night. I made love to you in Sardinia. I made love to you last night. I didn’t. I can’t love. Things can’t love.”

Steve closed his eyes. The pain was too unbearable.

“I let you believe that you were making love to a person. A person you knew. I’m not a person. I haven’t been for a lifetime. I tricked you; I betrayed you. I assaulted you.”

Steve’s eyes blasted open. He didn’t know if he could properly express the horror tearing at his soul.

“I’m a lie. I made you believe a lie. I’m worse than Andrei.”

“No,” Steve said, his voice hoarse. He wasn’t supposed to speak. But he couldn’t let Bucky think that. He’d rather die.

“Andrei knew the truth,” Bucky said. “I let myself believe a lie. And I lied to you. Every time I touched you was a lie.”

“Bucky, please…”

“But I knew you. Even after they killed me, I killed me, after I learned how to be real and they stole it from me again…”

Steve trembled.

“I knew you.”

Steve stayed silent, but his body was on the verge of collapse.

“I wasn’t real until I knew you again.”

Steve’s arms were shaking with how much he wanted to reach out and touch Bucky. It was a need that sat deep in the minerals of his bones. It was written in his DNA. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t do anything else that would encroach on Bucky’s space, not until Bucky told him it was okay. If Bucky never did, Steve would survive. It would kill him, but he would survive.

“I’m not real. I’m not a person. I couldn’t be, not after what I’ve done. What was done to me.”

Steve stayed silent.

Then, Bucky turned his head to look at Steve. What Steve saw destroyed what was left inside of him. There was a raw, bleeding ache in Bucky’s eyes. His eyes were wet and cracked open in a way that Steve had never seen before, not even when they were kids. It was something more than vulnerability. That word felt hollow compared to what Steve was looking at. Steve had never seen such blistering, soul-cleaving clarity in anyone’s eyes. In anyone’s being. It felt like he was peeking into the chalice of Heaven. 

“I want to be real, Steve.”

Steve’s eyes filled with tears, but he still saw Bucky clearly. There was nothing in existence that could cloud his vision of Bucky. 

“Will you help me?” Bucky asked, his voice shrinking to a dot. He sounded like a child, like little Jamie Barnes, who gave Steve his favorite ball when his ball popped on the schoolyard. “Will you help me be real again?”

Steve let out a desperate sob, the tears spilling down his face. He didn’t know what broke him. Maybe it was everything, the totality of what Bucky was asking for. He would’ve done whatever Bucky had asked. He would’ve set fire to the shield if Bucky had asked. But he never thought Bucky would ask something like this, allow himself to feel enough to think to ask something like this. It was unthinkable. It was terrifying. It made Steve believe in life.

But then, Steve saw Bucky’s eyes start to inch away from him. The clarity in his eyes was fading. Steve could see it; Bucky thought he had made a mistake. He thought he had asked too much. He thought that what he shared was Steve’s breaking point. He was closing the door. Steve panicked, his own eyes widening, because he knew if Bucky closed the door, it would never reopen. He would lose Bucky again. After everything they had been through, after everything Bucky survived, Bucky would never believe he could be a real person. He would never believe that Steve loved or could ever love him. Bucky would be gone.

That would be the end of Steve Rogers, and Steve Rogers wouldn’t accept that this was the end.

“I’m so—”

“No!” Steve grabbed Bucky’s face and held him still, their eyes locked on each other. He grabbed Bucky just in time; his eyes were still clear. He still had a chance. “You are real. You are real to me. And I will spend every waking moment making you believe that for the rest of my life. I will die doing that.”

Bucky looked stunned.

“Be real with me,” Steve said, nodding. “Okay?”

Bucky blinked, another tear slipping down his cheek, and nodded.

“Okay,” Steve said.

He slowly leaned in and kissed Bucky with everything inside him. Honestly, he didn’t have much left. He felt obliterated, but he felt alive. So he poured his life force into Bucky’s lips. He would share that with Bucky until he could feel it himself. It was a small price to pay. 

It wasn’t a price. Gifts didn’t have a cost, certainly not his gifts to Bucky.

When he pulled away, Steve rushed out, “What can I do? Right now? I’ll do anything, just say it and—”

“Hold me,” Bucky said softly. 

Steve wiped at his face and nodded. He stood up from the ledge, watching Bucky’s eyes as they followed him, wanting Bucky to know that he would rather drown than go anywhere without him. On his feet, he reached his hand out to Bucky, and Bucky took it. Steve gently tugged him to his feet, catching him and pulling him into his chest when he stumbled. He didn’t give Bucky a chance to react, bending down and sweeping his arm under Bucky’s thighs to carry him. He expected some kind of pushback, but Bucky merely wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck, lowering his head into Steve’s collarbone, exhaling heavily.

Steve kicked on his slippers and carried Bucky back to their suite, with no fuss or fight and no words between them. He didn’t care that he left everything behind; they would be there later, and he’d pick them up later. All that mattered was getting Bucky back. When they walked into their suite, Steve carried Bucky to the bathroom. He dutifully removed their swimwear and gently guided Bucky into the shower with a gentle hand to the small of his back. Steve turned on the water and hugged Bucky from behind, tightly squeezing his arms around Bucky’s torso. He simply let the water wash over them. He smiled against Bucky’s neck when Bucky’s metal fingers rubbed the back of his hand. Still, they said nothing. They didn’t need to.

Eventually, Steve turned off the water and led them out of the shower. He gently dried Bucky first, and then himself more quickly. Bucky made his first effort to try and help, reaching for Steve’s towel with his flesh hand, but Steve stopped him. He squeezed Bucky’s hand and shook his head. Bucky nodded; he understood.

Wrapped in towels, Steve brought Bucky into their master bedroom. He eased Bucky onto the bed to sit and turned around only briefly so he could go to their closet and pull out the branded, personalized silk pajamas the resort had gifted them. They hadn’t worn them because it felt redundant. Steve wanted to wear them now. He knew that he and Bucky might try to let themselves drift into what had become beautifully comfortable. Steve loved making love with Bucky, but this wasn’t what this moment was about, or whatever would follow. There would be time for them to make love again. They had all the time in the world.

This was more.

Steve quickly threw on his pajamas and went back to Bucky with his. He expected Bucky to eye him skeptically, but again, Bucky understood. He let Steve dress him, lifting his backside so that Steve could pull the pants up to his waist, and watching as Steve buttoned his shirt. Steve’s fingers trembled slightly at first, but stopped when he looked into Bucky’s eyes, the gratitude in them easing his nerves.

Steve climbed onto the bed and laid down behind Bucky, his arms finding their place around Bucky’s middle. He breathed in the body wash wafting from Bucky’s neck and kissed its side. He usually fell asleep before Bucky, so he was surprised to hear the gentle rattle of his lungs and the soft breaths that escaped his lips. Steve was admittedly disappointed. He had things he wanted to say and needed Bucky to know. He didn’t hold it against either of them, though. Again, there would be time for it.

However, he indulged himself for the first time since Bucky opened his eyes in the water. Bucky couldn’t hear it, but he wanted the words in the air, so they would be in the air when he woke up in a few hours or the next morning. He wanted the words to exist out loud, so that Bucky would hopefully feel them, and eventually believe them.

“You’re real.”

Chapter Text

He woke up to sunlight.

James’s eyes fluttered open and instantly shut again from the window’s searing glow. It was too bright for the afternoon, and there would obviously be no sunlight in the evening.

Which meant that he had slept into the next day.

James couldn’t remember sleeping for that long without HYDRA decommissioning him and putting him on ice. His baseline rest was two hours, although if he were completely exhausted, which he rarely was, he could sleep for three hours. In those few cases, his sleep was still marred by frequent fits and starts, which amounted to a minor increase in legitimate rest. 

This sleep was different. Usually, James’s body would handily shake it off and recalibrate for the needs of the day. This day, even as he instinctively rubbed at his eyes, he still felt a residual ache everywhere: in his skin, his muscles, even in his bone marrow. Impossible as it was, James’s fatigue seemed to be impacting his metal arm as well, it moving a couple of beats slower than usual. 

What James was experiencing had no precedent. Then again, there was no precedent for what James had experienced with the meditation session the day before, either. He hadn’t thought much of his emotional or psychological health, mostly because he had no reason to before Steve. He knew enough to avoid actively toying with his mind’s messy tangles. Still, he foolishly assumed that the serum would shield his brain as it did the rest of his physiology. Whatever would trigger a psychotic break in a regular person would be dampened by the serum’s healing properties and activate his system of handling psychological stressors: avoidance, obfuscation, and compartmentalization. In the worst case, he trusted Steve to handle him properly and protect everyone from his unconscious wrath.   

James never anticipated the meditation session obliterating him. Whatever emotional infrastructure hed had was reduced to rubble. He knew it was hyperbolic, something Steve would have expressed, but it felt true. James felt empty, exposed. He should’ve ceased to exist.

And yet.

James still existed. He may have been in scattered pieces, but he was still there. 

And Steve was still by his side.

James felt the solid mass of supersoldier rumble behind him, almost on cue. He looked down at Steve’s silk-covered arm draped around his middle, his hand splayed against his stomach. James hovered his flesh hand above Steve’s and flexed his fingers, wanting to touch it. He only granted himself a graze before pulling away, losing his nerve.

He felt foolish for needing nerve in the first place. He had touched Steve countless times; it was the most natural thing he was capable of. That had been before yesterday, though, before everything had changed. 

But what exactly had changed?

Staying under Steve’s arm, James twisted around to face him. Steve was asleep, his face neither peaceful nor disturbed. James wouldn’t have known he had bared his tattered psyche to Steve less than 24 hours ago. He was happy to regard it as a good thing, but then he remembered Steve’s physical patterns. James might’ve been drained, but there was no way Steve could sleep beside him the whole time. He carried too much energy that he needed to burn off. James theorized that Steve had probably gotten out of bed several times while he was sleeping, doing busy work to ease his frantic mind and grapple with whatever aggression he had been holding onto after the session. He then crawled back into bed to keep James from waking up alone and drawing the wrong conclusion.

He lifted his head to look past Steve at the bedroom door. He saw Steve’s gym bag, shoes, and towel neatly arranged by the doorframe. He looked back down at Steve and leaned in, taking a quick sniff of his neck. The sandalwood scent of Steve’s favorite body wash was still fresh, which meant that he probably showered sometime within the last hour. James suppressed the instinct to roll his eyes at Steve’s thoughtfulness. That was simply who Steve was: someone who would shower, redress in his pajamas, and climb back into bed so that his lover would be comfortable.

James was Steve’s lover.

James spun the thought around in his mind, inspecting it for nicks and scratches. he didn’t think he had referred to Steve as his lover before. Steve had asked if they were lovers after their first night in Budapest. James had said he didn’t know how to be a lover, or anything else, to Steve. 

Of course, a lifetime had passed since then. Their relationship had been rewritten so many times that James could barely recognize them. In Budapest, Steve was a stranger who insisted that James meant everything to him, a claim that James simply couldn’t trust. Sarajevo saw Steve become James’s tentative partner and eager student in the ways of pleasure. Vienna and Salzburg transformed them into full-blown accomplices with voracious sexual appetites. Bratislava demanded James be something previously inconceivable to him: a tender caretaker to Steve at one of his lowest points. Steve returned the favor in the most improbable way in Belgrade: he surrendered his body for James to use as he saw fit. What James and Steve had done to each other, for each other, defied a word or even a paragraph. It was why James hadn’t been in a rush to define them.

And then Kaliningrad blew it to hell. Andrei turned them into victims of his depravity. He had exposed the worst of HYDRA’s abuses to Steve. Worse, he violated Steve, a sight so abhorrent that it either cleaved James’s brain in two or reawakened a free radical of icy precision that was still actively monitoring his every movement. James and Steve had survived Andrei, but they were still trying to make sense of the damage. It would’ve been a long and arduous process in the best of circumstances, but now they had the consequences of James’s session to deal with on top of it. It was almost comedic how many obstacles the universe put in front of and around them.

The question for James was, to what end? If there was some cosmic challenge being waged against him and Steve, what was it attempting to impede? James could admit that vanquishing HYDRA wasn’t his sole priority anymore, not with Steve in the picture. But what was Steve’s end goal, his role, on James’s very short list of priorities? Was Steve meant to be his lover, quaint and insignificant as that label felt compared to what they had been to each other over the past few months?

Maybe it was quaint and insignificant, but it didn’t feel wrong. It felt wrong before, in Hungary, Bosnia, Serbia, Russia, and Italy. It felt wrong 24 hours ago in Iceland.

Now, it felt…less wrong.

“Lover…”

James’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he stared at Steve. He tried fitting the word over Steve’s face, seeing if it stretched or tore over his skin. It held well enough, with Steve barely moving through James’s metaphorical sizing. James wasn’t surprised; Steve was born to be someone’s lover.

But could James be a lover?

Sex was easy enough. No one knew the exquisite wonders of Steve’s body like James. He knew what touches turned Steve from the unyielding symbol of patriotic virtue into a quivering, flesh-and-blood man, beholden to the pleasure that James wrung out of his muscled curves. He knew how to take Steve apart and put him back together again. Just thinking about what he could do, what he had yet to do, to Steve made James’s skin itch.

He was more concerned about the other stuff. He had no experience with romance, not even when HYDRA sent him undercover to seduce and destroy targets. He didn’t know if Bucky had experience with it, either, even though Steve claimed that he often had a girl on one or both arms. True or not, it was useless information to him. James didn’t know about flowers or gifts. He knew Steve deserved those things and more, but could James give them to him? Could he take Steve on a date? Not a mission-cover date, but a real one, with candlelight, conversation, and hand-holding? Would it even make sense for them to date? If dating were a means to understand a romantic partner, what use was it to Steve, who had nearly died for James more times than was considered reasonable? Didn’t Steve know enough about James for “dating” to be irrelevant?

Except Steve didn’t know James. Not really.

Steve knew fragments. He knew Bucky. He had come to know the end product of the Asset’s excision from HYDRA, but it wasn’t a complete product, not when James didn’t know the extent of his own experiences under their tutelage. Steve got a hideous glimpse of the horrors that HYDRA inflicted on James, or Bucky, or the Soldier, but they hadn’t examined the horrors or what they meant to who James was now. Steve would probably disagree that he didn’t know the Soldier, but James knew there was much more to him than that brief encounter in Munich. Steve certainly didn’t know the scope of what birthed the Soldier in the first place; James didn’t know, either.

If James and Steve were lovers, what was Steve loving? What fragment? If James wasn’t a whole person, could he truly be Steve’s lover? 

He traced his metal fingers along Steve’s jaw, sighing in frustration as he jumped through the logical hoops. James’s rigid pragmatism was of no use to him here. He needed Steve’s unwavering faith in his moral framework, his belief that the universe would eventually bend to what he knew was right. James needed to believe that, even though everything was working against them, he and Steve would figure it out. 

They had to; James had no other option.

As he moved his fingers up to the middle of Steve’s hairline, James thought of the smaller one from his fleeting memories. It wasn’t the cleanest fit, but he could map that younger face onto the one in front of him. He found himself annoyed that Steve’s hair wasn’t the same. He had cut his hair short at the Widow’s suggestion; she said it made him look “modern.” Of course, she was wrong. The hair that would’ve curled over his forehead suited Steve better. It matched his long eyelashes, strong cheekbones, and the dip of his nose. It made him look younger and brighter, a beacon that stood above everyone else to guide them to where they were meant to go.

But was that Steve’s responsibility? Didn’t he deserve not to be a beacon? Who was James to decide that, via a haircut that he could barely remember Steve having? What kind of lover did that?

James held Steve’s head gently as he could manage with the metal hand. Steve mumbled in his sleep and turned his face into the metal, exhaling against and burrowing into the chilled chrome. It was a counterintuitive sight, Steve deriving comfort from James’s most inhuman part. However, if Steve needed it, James would oblige. He shifted closer and stroked his fingertip over Steve’s cheek, getting him to murmur into the hand. They had a few minutes like that before Steve’s eyes started fluttering open. He was only a fifth-way awake, but he smiled and hummed again.

“Morning,” Steve said, the word dripping from his lips like honey.

“Morning,” James said, scratching a finger over one of his forehead crinkles. “Don’t know why you’re saying it, though. You’ve been up for hours, haven’t you?”

Steve sighed and nodded. “So you found me out?”

“The gym bag at the door sold you out,” James said. “That and the soap…” James took a long inhale. “Still fresh.”

“Didn’t want to wake you, that’s all,” Steve said, opening his eyes wider, his pupils a hazy blue. “How’d you sleep?”

“How’d you think?” James asked, wincing at the slight edge in his tone. “Fuck, Steve, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

“It’s alright,” Steve interrupted, closing his eyes. “It was a stupid question.”

“No, it wasn’t,” James said. “I was being…I don’t know what…” He shook his head and refocused on Steve’s question. “I don’t remember how I slept, honestly. It’s a blank.”

Steve opened his eyes with a more tentative stare this time. “Do you think that’s a good thing?”

“Don’t know,” James answered. “What was I…like?”

“Knocked out,” Steve said. “Once I got you down on the bed, you didn’t move. You slept. I knew you were okay, checked your vitals just to be sure, but apart from a few twists and turns here and there, you stayed in the same spot.”

“Vitals…?”

“They have a couple of blood pressure cuffs at the concierge center,” Steve explained. “Just called and said I needed it for a post-workout check. First time using the electronic one myself; very weird.”

“And everything was normal?” James asked.

“Physically, yeah,” Steve said, eyes casting away from James. “Can’t speak to the…um…emotional stuff.” 

“Neither can I,” James said. “I’m not really sure how I feel about anything.”

Steve looked back up at James, his face falling slightly. “Oh…yeah, of course…”

James knew he fucked up again. “Damn it, Steve, that’s not—”

“Buck, it’s okay,” Steve said, putting on a fake smile as he shifted back on the bed. “I get it. Yesterday was a lot. I can handle it. Whatever you’re thinking…feeling, whatever you're unsure about, I can handle it.”

James’s metal hand tightened around Steve’s head, stopping his retreat. “Can you put a pin on the savior schtick and let me be sorry?”

 “I’m just saying—”

“Shut up, Steve,” James said firmly, his thumb pressing against Steve’s lips. “Okay?”

Steve nodded.

“I’m not unsure of you, okay?” James clarified. “You’re the only thing I’m sure about, I think. But, like you said, yesterday was…”

“A lot?” Steve finished for him.

“Yeah,” James said. “That doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“It’s okay if it does, though,” Steve said, visibly trying to temper the conflicted look on his face.

James frowned. “Steve, are you not listening to what I’m telling you?”

“I am,” Steve said with a sad nod. “I’m just saying you don’t—mfph!”

James tugged Steve forward and pressed their lips together, cutting off whatever ridiculous words Steve was about to say. Steve floundered for a few seconds before settling into the kiss, his lips relaxing so James could part them with his tongue. James licked his way into Steve’s mouth, holding his head while he sampled the spearmint taste of Steve’s favorite toothpaste that he had shipped from New York. James had made a stink about it before they left because Steve wouldn’t go to Iceland without a tube. Now, he was glad Steve insisted on waiting. It tasted familiar, and James needed familiarity.

James pulled back and watched Steve blink, his lips flushed pink. “Are you done being a stupid little punk?”

“You forgot stubborn,” Steve mumbled.

“That goes without saying,” James said. “Look…” He closed his eyes and got his words together so Steve couldn’t misinterpret them again. “I’m in this with you, okay?”

“...Okay?” Steve blinked again, and James started worrying that Steve might’ve gone too heavy on the punching bag this morning and concussed himself.

“I’m gonna be bad at this,” James said. “I’m gonna piss you off, and you’re definitely gonna piss me off. Case in point.”

“Shut up,” Steve muttered through a soft smile.

“But I want this,” James said. “Whatever this is, I want it with you. And I’m gonna try, I mean it.”

“I don’t—” Steve stopped when James’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, okay, I get it. We’ll try.”

“Look at us on the same page,” James said with a playful scoff. “Who d’a thunk it?”

“We have our moments,” Steve said, leaning in and pecking James on the lips. 

“You’re really gonna do that a lot from now on, huh?” James asked, scrunching his nose.

“Yup.” Steve nodded and leaned in again, this time kissing the tip of James’s nose.

“Quit it…” James swatted Steve’s face away with a pat to his cheek. “You’re a sap.”

“And you’re stuck with me,” Steve said.

“I guess…” James mushed Steve’s face as he sat up on the bed, straightening the rumpled fabric of his shirt. Staring down at Steve, he said, “So…about last…erm…yesterday.”

“What about it?” Steve asked, sitting up himself.

“What do you wanna know?” James asked. “About what I told you? My memories. What do you wanna know?”

“Everything,” Steve answered honestly. “But I don’t wanna push you…”

“How about we go one by one?” James said, shrugging. “What do you want to know the most, and then work from there?”

“You sure?” Steve asked.

“No,” James replied. “But I think I should. I think it’ll help, and I trust you.”

Okay…” Steve’s throat flexed as he swallowed what James assumed was a growing lump in his throat. He waited a moment before saying, “You said you had a friend…with HYDRA?”

James’s chest tightened, somehow knowing Steve would likely start there. “Yeah, I did.”

“Who was he?”

“He was a Soviet soldier, I think,” James said, looking away from Steve as he tried to recount what he knew without digging directly into the memory. “HYDRA had him because he was a deserter. He was trying to get back to his daughter.”

“Wait, why wouldn’t…?” Steve stopped his question when James gave him a look that reminded him that they were discussing HYDRA. “Right…sorry.”

“I thought he was just a regular prisoner,” James said. “But, now that I think about it, given what Victor said…”

“You think he was a Winter Soldier?” Steve asked.

“Possibly,” James answered. “Most likely? It makes sense. We were trained together, and it seemed like we…were at the same level…?”

“You said he tore you apart,” Steve said in an unbearably soft voice. “Did you mean that he…”

“He did,” James said through the tightness in his chest.

“He used you,” Steve said, the energy around him getting darker. “He betrayed you…violated you.”

James felt cold. “He didn’t have a choice, Steve. We were in the same place. They did something to him. I could see it in his eyes. They did something…they took something from him.”

“That doesn’t excuse what he did,” Steve said. “You say he was your friend, but how could he be your friend and…hurt you like that? If he were your friend, he should’ve—”

“Like I should’ve?” James asked, his stomach knotting up.

“Like you…Buck…” The anger in Steve’s voice and face vanished, replaced by confusion and shame. “That wasn’t…I didn’t mean…”

“I know what you’re saying,” James said. “I get it, but that’s not fair. It wasn’t his choice. We had no choice with them…ever.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said, sounding humiliated. “That was beneath me.”

“I told you,” James said, squeezing Steve’s knee with his metal hand. “I don’t need Captain America here. I don’t need you to be perfect.”

Steve closed his eyes, his shoulders recoiling. “But I should be able to not…do that. It’s just…damn it. Do you know what happened to him?”

“Sergei,” James said. “They killed him the next day.”

“Jesus, Buck,” Steve said.

“I don’t know why,” James said, sadness creeping along his insides. “Maybe it was because something went wrong with his training. Maybe it was punishment because he went with men. Maybe they thought we were…”

“Were you?” Steve asked, looking guilty. 

“It wasn’t like that,” James replied, shaking his head. “We were just friends. We played cards.” He chuckled. “I lost to him a lot, but I beat him a few times, or he let me win. He looked out for me, taught me to defend myself against the guards, limit their damage. But he never made a pass at me. I think I would’ve remembered if he did.”

“Okay,” Steve said.

“He did make me blush once,” James said. “But it was nothing…out of sorts.”

Steve’s eyebrow quirked. “Can’t imagine you blushing.”

“Neither could I,” James said. “But Sergei did. And he was proud of it, too. Wore it like a badge of honor. He was my friend. He was all I had for a while, and then it was over.”

Steve’s shoulders fell, but he grabbed James’s metal hand. “I’m sorry, Buck. I’m glad you had him…even for a little bit.” 

“Me too, I think.” James could only trust his memories, and he chose to believe in Sergei. He wouldn’t let HYDRA take that from him, even if there were still gaps in the official record.

“You said you saw Becca, but it wasn’t Becca,” Steve said, moving on to his next question. “You remember your sister?”

“I know I had a sister,” James said softly, his chest clenching again. “But that’s all I know. I don’t remember anything about her.”

“Where were you?”

“Yugoslavia. HYDRA had me go after a diplomat who’d been going against the Soviet Union. I was supposed to kill them, but then I saw her.”

“A woman?”

“She looked exactly like her,” James said, sounding awestruck as he recalled it. “It’s crazy. I don’t even know what she looked like, but I knew this woman looked like her. I was supposed to take the shot…”

“But you couldn’t…”

“I froze and the gun slipped, and when I pulled the trigger…” James watched Steve squeeze his metal hand again, which made the next words sit heavily in his mouth. “...I hit her son.”

“Buck…” Steve kissed the back of James’s hand. “God…I’m so sorry. It’s horrible. It’s unthinkable.”

“That was the day,” James said. “I had mostly been the Soldier up to that point, but there was a small bit left.”

“Becca reminded you?”

“I had to kill him,” James said, shuddering as images of the different people he meant flashed in his head. “I had to.”

“But you didn’t,” Steve said, shaking his head. “Because you’re here.”

“Maybe,” James said. “Maybe I buried him somewhere?”

“To save yourself,” Steve said.

James didn’t know how to respond. 

“About Becca…” Steve started, waiting for James’s eyes to find him. “She died about a decade ago.”

“She…” James felt stuck.

“She’s buried in Queens,” Steve said gently. “I went to look her up after I got settled. I left flowers at her grave. Seemed like she had a good life. Her married name was Proctor.”

James didn’t think he had the right to ask, but he did anyway. “Does…did she have kids?”

“Two daughters,” Steve said. “Christina and Jennifer. I haven’t reached out to them yet.” He tilted his head and smiled cautiously. “Would you want to meet them?”

“I don’t know,” James said. “They think I’m dead. Who knows if she even mentioned me to them?”

“I know she did,” Steve said.

“If she did,” James said. “I don’t remember the life she would’ve told them about. What could I possibly offer them? I don’t have memories or stories, no pictures.”

“Just you is enough,” Steve said.

“It’s not,” James said. “But I appreciate that.”

“Buck…”

“What else, Steve?” James asked, lying down on his left side, feeling a cryptic clench in his side that he needed to stretch out.

Steve frowned, but went along with it. “You said you had a name. A name that they took away?”

“Yasha,” James said. “It’s what Tatiana called me when I was…” He hesitated, not knowing what to call their relationship, assuming they had one. “...under her care.”

“Yasha?” Steve asked.

“Yasha,” James repeated. “It’s Russian. You wanna the kicker?”

“What?”

“Yasha roughly translates to James.”

“What the…?” Skepticism colored Steve’s face. “Was that some kind of sick joke?”

“I don’t think Tatiana knew anything other than my belonging to HYDRA,” James said, shaking his head. “That’s all the Red Room cared about. They cared that I was a HYDRA asset who could train their Widows. It was probably a coincidence.”

Steve gave James the same look that James gave him earlier. “I don’t think HYDRA is capable of coincidences, Buck.”

“True,” James admitted. “But there’s not much to be done about it now, huh?”

“No, I guess not,” Steve said. “Did you…um…like the name?”

“It wasn’t something that mattered,” James said. “Liking things wasn’t…part of my programming.”

“Jesus…” Steve’s shoulders sagged even more.

“But…” James paused to give it genuine thought. “Within the confines of that, it was nice? Having something that was mine. I don’t think I had something of my own for a long time before her.”

“You’re incredible…” Steve said. “What you survived…”

“I don’t know if it was survival,” James said. “It was mechanics. They woke me up. I did missions. They messed with me. They put me under. I wasn't surviving. I wasn’t living. I just…was. I know that probably doesn’t make sense.”

“It doesn’t,” Steve said. “But that’s not on you. It’s on them. They were…I don’t know the word.”

James had given up trying to qualify HYDRA’s existence a while ago. He had decided that HYDRA couldn’t shock him anymore. There were no further depths to plumb. They represented humanity’s nadir. Accepting that hadn’t exactly made anything easier, but it felt slightly better than whatever Steve was currently experiencing. James’s primary focus on HYDRA was snuffing out whatever remained of them in the pockets of the world he could reasonably reach.

While his resolve in that mission hadn’t wavered, it wasn’t James’s sole or leading concern anymore. Steve was. Steve mattered more than HYDRA did or ever could again. It was a ferocious recalibration that should’ve flown in the face of everything James had relived and everything he had yet to recover from.

And yet.

“I have one last question,” Steve said, jolting James back into the moment, getting a nod in response. “You said that I left you?”

James shook his head. “That’s what HYDRA wanted me to believe when they captured me. I guess they figured that’s how they’d break me…making me think that about you.”

“Did you?” Steve asked with an intense, discomfiting stare. “Believe that?”

“In my head, no,” James said, hoping Steve would accept the answer but knowing he wouldn’t.

“What about the rest of you?”

“Yes,” James said simply, quickly, honestly. 

“Bucky…” Steve looked down at his lap. “I…I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t need…” James stopped himself. He didn’t need Steve’s apology, but he decided not to steal Steve’s right to give one. 

“If I had any hope that you were alive,” Steve said. “Even one tiny glimmer of it, I would’ve looked for you. I need you to know that.” 

James was scared to admit that he didn’t know that. 

“I would’ve searched for you everywhere,” Steve continued. “I wouldn’t have left an inch of snow unturned, I promise. I wouldn’t have come home until I found you.”

“You wouldn’t have found me,” James said. 

“I don’t care,” Steve said. “I still would’ve looked. I would’ve tried. That you could’ve thought for a second I would’ve left you behind…it makes me nauseous, Bucky.”

“Steve…” James sighed. “You had a life to live. You and Peggy, right? You would’ve had kids if things had gone differently. I…Bucky would’ve wanted that for you.”

They didn’t speak much or often of Peggy’s place in Steve’s life. Most times, it was irrelevant. She lived in a retirement community in the States with fading memories. Neither he nor Steve was especially keen on broaching the subject beyond very casual mentions after very brief, encrypted phone conversations that the Widow occasionally helped arrange, just to “check in.” She didn’t cast a looming shadow, but it would be a lie for James to say that he didn’t wonder sometimes about Steve’s feelings for her, if he ever considered what could’ve been if he hadn’t downed his plane into the ocean. 

“I can’t think about that,” Steve said, his face cracking in shame at taking the easy route. “It’s…I don’t know…”

“It’s okay to want it,” James said, scoffing at the irony of him doing what Steve had done to him. “Hell, it was taken from you, just like…” He stopped, not realizing what he was about to say, suddenly stunned by the idea. 

Steve finished the thought. “Like I was taken from you?”

“No…” James couldn’t possibly say that on Bucky’s behalf, he could barely say it for himself. It wouldn’t be fair. “My point is…you can want something, even if it wasn’t what ended up happening. You can want the life you should’ve had with Peggy. You can want—”

“I want you,” Steve said softly but firmly. 

James sat up straight and eye level with Steve, waiting.

“I can’t go back,” Steve said. “I told you that before. I’m not the man I was on that plane, or on that train, or any of it.”

“That doesn’t mean—”

“Yes, it does,” Steve interrupted. “Peggy told me so, believe it or not. It wasn’t long before I found you. She told me that I had to move forward.”

James briefly imagined it: Steve looking incredulously, perhaps brokenly, almost certainly with defiance, at the older woman he once loved, telling him to move beyond her, despite it being against his very nature. He didn’t know how Steve didn’t spontaneously combust.

“You’re not wrong,” Steve added. “If Peggy would’ve had me, we probably would’ve made a life together, just like you probably would’ve made a life together with some girl if you had made it back from the war, too. And we would’ve been happy for each other. But that’s not the life we’re living. We’re living this one. And you told me you wanted this with me. Was that true?”

James didn’t trust his voice to hold, so he nodded.

“And I’ve already told you where I’m at,” Steve said, smiling. “Although I’m happy to tell you again if it helps.”

James nodded again, swallowing down his embarrassment at needing to hear the words.

“I want this with you, too,” Steve said, leaning close to James. “This is where we are. Together, right?”

“Together,” James repeated, his voice more solid than expected.

“So there,” Steve said, grabbing James’s hands. “Back on the same page. See how easy that was?”

“You’re such an idiot,” James muttered before Steve closed the gap and kissed him, his hand grasping the back of James’s head.

“Your idiot,” Steve quipped after he broke away.

James rolled his eyes, but they both knew it was a front, evident in the way his eyes fell downcast right after. 

“So, what about your memories?” Steve asked. “Was it just what you told me, or do you remember more?”

“No more,” James said. “Just what I told you. They’re all kinda floating up here in my head. Haven’t tried touching them.”

“I see.”

“What I do know is I don’t think they’re lost anymore,” James continued, gesturing at his head. “I think they’re all in here. I just need to go through all the doors and find them.”

“Doors?” Steve asked.

“You don’t wanna see inside my head,” James said. “It’s like a library of doors. Multiple floors, endless hallways. It’s like a puzzle box or something.”

“And you just need the keys?” Steve asked, trying to imagine it for himself.

“And a map,” James said. “The doors keep shifting places. I guess it depends on the day, what my brain thinks I can and can’t handle.”

“Is…the Soldier deciding that?” Steve asked nervously.

“Possibly,” James replied. “I haven’t quite figured him out yet, what his purpose is, besides you.”

“Me?”

James exhaled. “He’s…concerned about you. He thinks of you as his mission.”

“He told me that,” Steve said. “In Munich. That you…require it of him.”

“I don’t see how I have that kind of control over him,” James admitted. “But if it keeps you safe, I’ll take it and the other stuff. Even though my brain having a babysitter isn’t that encouraging.”

“I’m not gonna pretend that his presence doesn’t disturb me,” Steve said. “But like you said, if he helps keep you safe, that’s what matters.”

“Although you’d rather have me go see your green guy and get my head shrinked,” James said. 

“No,” Steve said. “I want what helps you be okay. If that isn’t seeing Bruce, then it’s not seeing Bruce. We can figure that out together, but I’m following your lead.”

“You being so agreeable is weird,” James said. “Makes me think you bumped your head or something.” He put his flesh hand over Steve’s forehead. “Can’t have you walking around with a concussion.”

“You’re a jackass.” Steve shook James’s hand off his head and kissed the edge of his shoulder. “I’m just trying to learn what you want, what you need.”

James snaked his arm around Steve’s back and pulled him forward on top of him. Steve made a hilarious “oof” noise, but regained his bearings to fit properly against James, slotting their legs together. He lifted onto his elbows over James’s head, looking down with perplexed but welcoming eyes. 

“Hey, Steve,” James said, smirking.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve said, still looking confused. “What was all that for?”

“You said you were trying to figure out what I wanted,” James said. “Figured I’d point you in the right direction.”

“Appreciate the help,” Steve said, smiling. “But I don’t need directions to find you, Buck.”

“Sap.”

Steve slipped his arm under James’s back and kissed him, dropping his body against his. James smiled and kissed him back, their lips moving languidly together while their tongues stroked each other. James didn’t realize how tense he was until he relaxed into Steve’s hold. He bent his knee and braced his foot on the bed so he could roll his torso up into Steve, making a slow grind that sent a rush of heat through his skin. Steve returned the motion but with more force, grinding down against James’s stomach. James felt a firm mass pushing into him through their clothes, which made his dick stir in his pants. He shifted his hips to align their lower bodies better, and he felt Steve gasp into his mouth when the ridges of their shafts pressed together.

“Buck…” Steve panted, lifting from James. “You wanna…?”

“Was my hard dick not sign enough?” James asked incredulously, bumping his hips up to further make his point.

“I mean…” Steve moaned softly as he pressed his hips down into James. “Yeah, but we talked about a lot just now, so I get if you need some time to…process.”

“Do you need time?” James asked, his hands moving to sit on Steve’s hips. “Because it feels like you want me to make you come.”

“Buck…” Steve started to blush quickly, already creeping down into his pajama top.

“Just like you,” James said. “Let me decide what I can handle, okay?” 

“And what you can handle…?”

“...Is me getting you off.”

James squeezed Steve’s ass and started rocking it over him, their erections rubbing more firmly against each other. Steve put his hands on James’s chest and lifted himself, leaning into it for leverage. James’s face broke into a wicked grin as he dug his fingers into the thick muscles of Steve’s ass and ground him harder into him, guided by the subtle throbs he felt in Steve’s pants. Steve let James guide the pace, but he wasn’t passive, not with his increasingly fierce eyes and questing fingers stroking across James’s chest. It was Steve’s brush of James’s nipple with his thumb that almost set James on fire.

“You need it, don’t you, Stevie?” James asked, his left hand reaching up to undo the first two buttons of Steve’s shirt. 

“Need you,” Steve moaned. You.”

“Yeah?” James asked, undoing the next two buttons. “Need me to play with your fat ass? Need me to suck on your tits?”

“God…” 

With one last snap of his fingers, James undid the last of Steve’s buttons and spread the shirt wide open, tugging it down off his shoulders. He pushed himself up straight with his right arm and pressed his mouth into Steve’s left pec. Steve threw his head back and gasped as James stroked his lips down and wrapped them around Steve’s nipple. He started flicking over it with his tongue, the flesh tightening and pebbling from the strokes. Steve tangled his fingers in James’s hair, and James felt the soft shudder of Steve’s lungs, his chest pressing more firmly into James’s mouth. It only made James suck harder on Steve’s pec, heating the tight skin into a wet, heavy pink color that bled into the tight brown peak of his nipple.

“Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you,” James groaned against Steve’s chest, lapping over the bottom curve to his sternum. “Just say it, fuck.”

James felt a sudden shift in Steve, his body tensing on top of him and his fingers tugging on James’s hair. When James pulled back from Steve’s chest to look at him, he saw excitement — a few wisps away from frenzy — sparking in Steve’s eyes. He kept his eyes on Steve’s face as he kissed across his right pec, nipping the skin with his lips and watching Steve’s fervor grow.

“Can I…?” Steve asked under a soft gasp, his chest rising and falling quickly.

“Of course,” James murmured against Steve’s skin, slightly confused by Steve’s question. “Tell me.”

“We really don’t—fuck!”

James nipped Steve’s right nipple with his teeth, but quickly licked over it with the flat of his tongue, easing the ache he caused. He gave Steve’s pec a long, hard, wet suck before saying, “Tell me what the fuck you want, Stevie, I’m dying here.”

“I wanna try something,” Steve said, his voice tripping over James  tonguing down his nipple.

“I’ll try whatever you want as long as I get to suck your tits,” James rasped, spreading his mouth to fit around more of Steve’s pec.

“Just…Jesus…let me grab…”

Steve pushed against James’s shoulders and slid off his lap, leaving James stunned and ruthlessly aroused on the bed. Steve was even harder in his pajama pants, and James didn’t understand why Steve wasn’t still on top of him so they could take care of both. Steve opened the bedside table and pulled out the intimate program’s ruby red book. He climbed back onto the bed and James’s lap, but instead of kissing him or doing anything that would get either of them off, he started flipping through the pages. He didn’t even have the decency to take off the shirt that James had opened for him.

“I was thinking…” Steve said as he flipped through more of the pages while James once again pulled open Steve’s shirt, admiring the wet, flushed work he made of Steve’s chest.

“Uh oh.”

“Shut up,” Steve groaned, pecking James on the nose and situating his ass more comfortably over him. “I was thinking about the program yesterday.”

James stopped trying to pull Steve’s shirt off his shoulders. “What about it?”

“After…well, everything…” Steve stopped on a page that James couldn’t see. “I kept thinking about how out of control you must’ve felt the whole time.”

“You want to talk about this now?” James asked incredulously. “I’m supposed to be getting you off through your tits.”

“We’ll get to that,” Steve said. “So last night, I was going through this, and they have this session here.” He turned the book around, pointing out the page to James. “The ‘Claiming Control’ one.” James had a few seconds to glance at the page before Steve turned the book back around and read from it. “It’s where we can experiment with the BDSM thing. They say it’s a safe environment to learn about boundaries and limits. It’s got the bondage stuff and…sensory control…impact play?”

James felt an ache start to form at the back of his skull. “Steve…”

“What do you think?” Steve asked, his voice sounding chipper. “There are some interesting things in here that…I should probably look up a few things. Like impact play? But if you think it’ll help, I think we should—”

“Steve, stop.” James grabbed the book from Steve’s hand and put it down on the bed.

The excitement slowly drained from Steve’s face. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”

“No…” James said, reaching up to stroke the back of Steve’s neck. “I think we need to take a beat, that’s all.”

“You nearly mauled my chest trying to make me come,” Steve said, frowning.

“Because I know your tits well,” James said, bending down to kiss Steve’s left pec. “This is newer territory.”

“Not really,” Steve argued. “We’ve done something like that before.”

“Once,” James said. “And we haven’t done much like it since.”

“What about at the gym?” Steve asked, his face getting sheepish.

“I don’t remember tying you to the showerhead, Steve.”

“But…you took…control?” Steve said rather pitifully. “This feels like semantics.”

“The semantics matter,” James said, grabbing Steve’s waist and moving him off to the side, deciding that he didn’t need the distraction. “Tell me what this is about. Because if you’re doing this solely for my benefit, then that doesn’t work for me.”

The disappointment on Steve’s face was quietly gutting. “But…it’ll help, won’t it?” 

“Whether it’ll help me isn’t important right now,” James said. “I want you, but I don’t want you to do what you think I want from you, because you think I need it. I already have to deal with your self-sacrificial bullshit out in the field. I’d rather leave it out of our bed.”

“Our…?” Steve asked, his face perking up.

“Focus, Steve,” James admonished. “I don’t need you tying yourself up for me. I don’t want it.”

“But…” Steve’s face tightened, his gaze firming. “What if I wanted it?”

“Steve, you don’t have—”

“That’s not what I mean,” Steve cut James off, his tone bone-straight. “I want you to.”

“To what?”

“I want you to take control of me,” Steve said. 

“Steve…”

“Yeah, I want to help you,” Steve said. “Of course I do. It was pretty much all I thought about yesterday. And I believe that trying this could help you. But it’s more than that. I think it can help me, too.”

“How?” James asked, not following Steve’s logic.

“There’s a lot of noise in my head,” Steve explained. “Well, not just my head. It’s everywhere, really…this static. It’s always running. I’m always running. And sometimes, it builds up inside me…this…pressure. It keeps building until it’s almost ready to burst.”

“Pressure…” James immediately thought of Steve in Slovakia. Borrowing his example, it was as if the pressure Steve had been feeling during the incident in New York had burst, leaving him drained.  

“I usually manage just fine,” Steve said, the words spilling out quickly. “I have outlets, you know? Exercise, time, helping people, helping you. It’s just…”

“Not enough?” James asked.

Steve nodded. “Sometimes.”

“What does that have to do with me controlling you?”

“When you were in control, I didn’t have to be,” Steve said, his eyes softening. “I didn’t have to choose, make decisions, worry about letting people down, or hurting them. I could just focus on…” He looked down and then back up through his eyelashes. “...being good for you.”

“Oh.” James’s stomach clenched, stoked by the subtle shades of embarrassment filling Steve’s face.

“I know it sounds awful after everything you’ve been through,” Steve said. “Here I am complaining about making choices when you didn’t have any for so long.”

“For the umpteenth time, Steve, it’s not a competition,” James sighed, not unkindly. “I’m not knocking points off because you have feelings I can’t relate to.”

“Okay,” Steve said. “Well…I liked you making choices for me. I liked you taking choices from me. Like when you tied me up…it was frustrating, but I felt like I could let go. It was like you poked holes in me and let the air out. I could just feel what you were doing to my body. How good you were making me feel.”

“You came so much,” James said softly, picturing Steve struggling to keep from breaking the ties, gasping and writhing as James tore one orgasm after another from him.

“It drove me crazy,” Steve said, his breathing getting a touch heavier. “It lit me up inside. It was like there was… I don’t know…this itch somewhere inside that I couldn’t get to. But you cleared the noise…cracked me open so I could…you could scratch it. My head and body were in sync, and that…did something to me.”

“Something good?”

“Yeah, Buck,” Steve said. “Real good. And in the locker room, when you were ordering me around and had me up against the wall…”

“What did that do for you, Stevie?” James asked, his eyes glancing down at Steve’s chest, peeping how the blush had spread.

“I liked that I was yours,” Steve said. “That you could make me yours, whenever and however you wanted.”

James blinked through a deep throb of his dick, thinking about how he pressed into Steve’s ass in the shower, the water streaming over them, each grind of his hips making Steve whine beautifully.

“So that’s why you were acting up in the gym,” James said. 

“I swear I wasn’t…at first,” Steve said. “But…I did like that you were jealous. I like that you get possessive over me, that you’d fight anyone—”

“Everyone,” James corrected.

“Everyone,” Steve agreed. “You’d fight everyone so that only you could have me. Sometimes you do a little too much…”

“Careful, Rogers,” James said, narrowing his eyes.

Steve shrugged. “But…it makes me feel good, safe, being yours.”

“Safe?” James asked.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “But it’s more than that, too. I want to help you, but I want you to help me, too. The way I see it…” He smiled. “I help you feel real, and you help me feel…free.”

Steve’s words nearly knocked the wind out of James. It was a simple statement, yet stunning in its clarity and how immediately right it felt. He almost resented Steve for saying it first, or thinking it first. James didn’t have much use for philosophical or spiritual thought, but he wondered if Steve’s point had already existed somewhere in the ether, waiting for one of them to stop being stupid so they could lay claim to it. It felt too natural, too instinctual, to be errant or coincidental. Whatever the idea’s origin, its existence sent excitement zipping through James’s body.

“So,” James said tentatively but with a hint of playfulness. “You want me to help you feel free…by taking control of you?”

“It kinda doesn’t make sense when you put it like that,” Steve said sheepishly.

“I don’t give a fuck about sense,” James said. “I give a fuck about this being what you want. Is it?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, Buck. That’s what I want.”

“How long have you been wanting this?” James asked, tilting his head. “Because something tells me it’s been a while.”

“Probably longer than I realized,” Steve said. “I don’t think I’ve been desperate for it or anything…”

“But you’ve been missing it?” James asked. “Just a little bit?”

“More than a little bit,” Steve admitted. “Kind of a lot.”

“A lot…”

James cycled through some of his core memories from the past few months, seeking any signs from Steve that he might’ve missed. A few came to mind: Steve’s posture loosening when James squeezed his hips especially tight; Steve’s skin tingling when James scraped over it with his teeth; Steve’s little mewls and gasps when James thrust hard into him. If he considered each one separately, they were simply markers of Steve in the throes of passion. In this new context, Steve was begging for James to be more forceful and take more control. James had joked before about tasting Steve’s desperation when they slept together, but it suddenly felt more tangible. It was as if Steve's need to be free from choice had seeped into the flavor of his sweat. He didn’t know how he could’ve missed what was so obvious in hindsight.

He had to make it up to Steve, stat.

“So…” James reached for Steve’s thighs and pulled closer to him. “You want to try out this control session and see if it’s what you've been missing, huh?”

“I think it is,” Steve said, letting James pull him back onto his lap, his thighs coming around James’s waist. “Pretty sure it is.”

“Did you do that thing you do where you already booked the session before asking me?” James asked.

“Yeah…” Steve looked guilty. “But I canceled it a few minutes later. I feel like I’m still paying for the gondola rides.”

“You are,” James said. “And you will be for a long time. But before that, you’re gonna call them back and book one for tonight.”

“There’s no rush, Buck,” Steve said. “We can stay a couple of more days.”

“I thought you didn’t want to stay at the sex spa?” James asked, rolling his eyes.

“I thought it wasn’t a sex spa?” Steve countered with his eye roll.

“Punk,” James muttered.

“Jerk.” Steve looked at James expectantly. “So…?”

James wouldn’t deny that Steve’s confession energized him, his bones vibrating at the possibilities of what he could do to Steve, for Steve. He could feast for an eternity of Steve’s shy, pleasure-tinged blushes, but knowing that Steve was actively seeking them for himself was something else entirely. It was an obscenely decadent offer, and James, starving as he was, wanted to devour every last crumb that Steve laid out for him. 

And yet.

“Before we agree to anything,” James said, his hands tapping along Steve’s narrow waist. “You’re gonna tell me, in no uncertain terms, what you want me to do to you. And I want you to be specific, okay?”

“Oh…” Steve’s face tensed, and he chuckled, “Do I have to?”

“Yes,” James answered, retaining his smile but shifting to a more serious tone. “Because as much as you being embarrassed makes me hot, we shouldn’t be doing this if you can’t tell me what you want me to do to you. It’s central to making this work. Pretty sure the manual explains that.”

“I kinda thought those were suggestions rather than strict rules,” Steve said.

“Of course you did,” James said. “Well, they aren’t. So, do you wanna try again, or am I getting up and ordering us lunch?”

“Not hungry…” Steve said, looking down at James’s abs. “For food.”

“Wow,” James scoffed. “That was bad, Steve. Thanks for the reminder that you suck at this.”

“Oh, shut up,” Steve said, pushing James’s metal shoulder. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever he was about to say. “I want you to take control of me.”

“And what does that mean to you?” James asked.

Steve paused, pondering his response. “It means you doing what you want with me, deciding what my body wants, what it feels, and when. Deciding when I come. Using me to make yourself come. Making me be good for you.”

“Any why?” James pushed. “Why should I control you?”

“Because I want you to,” Steve said, immediately looking dissatisfied with his answer. “Because I need you to. You’re the only one who can clear my head and take me away from all of it. You’re the only one I trust to do that for me.”

“And what am I taking you away from right now?” James felt like he was crossing into tricky waters, but he wanted to know.

“Honestly?” Steve asked cautiously. 

James nodded and squeezed Steve’s thigh in encouragement.

“The feeling that I’m not enough to give you what you want,” Steve said slowly. “To make you feel real.”

James swallowed down the pitiful noise at the back of his throat. “You are…and I’m gonna make sure you don’t forget it.” He gave himself a few moments to gather his composure. “You’re gonna help me out and be good for me, aren’t you?”

“Yeah…” Steve said, nodding frantically. “I’ll be good, swear it.”

“We’ll see,” James said, smirking as the tension that had been building in his chest from Steve’s words settled. 

Steve frowned, but his eyes twinkled with mischief. “What, you don’t believe me?”

“Nope,” James said. “Or did you forget me swatting that perfect ass of yours for disobeying orders?”

“Oh…no…I didn’t…” Steve blushed, and James suddenly felt a hunger pang in his gut. “Um…”

“What, Stevie?” 

“Are we gonna do that again?” Steve asked.

“You mean…” James slid his hands down off Steve’s hips to slide under the waistband of his pajamas, squeezing his ass. “Am I gonna spank you until your fat, round, heavy ass is all pink and throbbing and you’re dripping slick all over yourself because you’re so fucking hot for it?”

“Uh…” Steve’s pupils dilated a little.

“Oh, fuck…” James’s face broke into a wolfish grin. “Really?”

“Shut up, Bucky,” Steve grumbled.

“What?” James asked fake-innocently as he slipped a metal finger into the tight split of Steve’s ass cheeks and grazed over his hole. “If you needed me to take the edge off, you could’ve just asked.”

“So you can lord it over me?” Steve said, his eyes narrowing. “Not a chance.”

“Oh, Stevie…” James dragged his flesh hand from Steve’s right cheek to wrap it around his erection. “I’m gonna do so much more than that.”

“Like…?” Steve exhaled shoddily through James’s steady, firm strokes of his dick.

“Book the appointment for tomorrow and you’ll find out,” James said dismissively. “But I’m happy to give you a teaser…as a treat.”

James stroked his hand faster over Steve’s dick, his fingers massaging along the shaft’s hard, heavy length and his thumb rubbing under the ridge of the head. He kept his metal finger still but firm against the clenched furl of Steve’s entrance, kneading into it without trying to push through. It took a couple of seconds for Steve to get antsy, his thighs flexing as he tried working his hole over James’s finger. When James wouldn’t give, retaining the same pace and pressure, Steve bent down and kissed him hard, pushing his tongue against James’s closed mouth. James’s chest rumbled in laughter at Steve’s blatant attempt to undermine him, noting that he couldn’t even wait a few minutes before deciding to be a punk. He figured he had a bit more time before he’d need to force a course correction, but Steve forced his hand.

James pulled his finger out from between Steve’s cheeks and smacked the right one, sending Steve hurtling back from James’s mouth so he could shout. James squeezed the curve, imagining how warm and tender the flesh must’ve felt under the cold metal, and yanked his hand out of Steve’s pajama pants to curl the fingers around the back of his neck. He gripped Steve’s neck tightly, holding him still while he hardened his stare. Defiance flashed briefly on Steve’s face before he thought better of it, taking a slow breath to calm himself down.

“Just can’t help yourself,” James said, tugging Steve’s back, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Your fault,” Steve murmured. 

“No, it’s your fault,” James said. “If you hadn’t interrupted us with your neediness, we could’ve come twice already, jackass.”

“So do it now!” Steve gasped.

“I would’ve,” James lamented. “Would’ve stuck my fingers in you—”

“Liar!”

“—And gotten you off from both ends,” James continued, ignoring Steve’s interruption. “But no…you had to be an impatient punk. And now I have to hold you still so you won’t try to tongue fuck me. I can’t play with your sweet little hole like I wanted.”

“Bucky, come on,” Steve whined, his dick throbbing hard in James’s fist in perfect time. “Put ‘em back.”

“No,” James said, squeezing his metal fingers against Steve’s neck. “You should’ve been good. You weren’t. So you get what I give you.”

What James gave Steve were tighter, more insistent strokes, battling the increasing pulses running through his shaft. He had an aide in Steve’s precum spilling into his fist, giving his strokes a deliciously slick feel. Steve tried to move with James, his hands coming to sit on James’s shoulders as leverage to thrust into his fist. He failed, though, with the metal hand’s squeeze giving him a stern warning to not move. It left Steve trembling on top of him, moaning as James took him apart with his hand. 

“You’re doing better, Stevie,” James said softly and just a bit meanly, stopping his fist to rub his thumb quick and dirty over Steve’s frenulum. “Finally letting me treat you right.”

“Jesus…fuck…” Steve panted. “I’m…you’re gonna…shit, Buck…”

“Can't even string a sentence together,” James chuckled, spreading Steve’s precum from his slit over the head of his dick. “You must be close. You gonna let me have a taste, Stevie?”

“Uh, uh, gonna, uh…” 

Steve’s head fell back, leaning into the tight grip of James’s metal hand. James leaned into him and pressed his lips into Steve’s left pec, sucking and laving the tight muscle with his tongue. He felt one big throb come from Steve’s tip and quickly grabbed the shaft again, jerking Steve with tight, quick pumps. Steve cried out and came, filling the crotch of his pajamas with cum. James worked Steve through it, using the cum to keep his strokes smooth and steady. He had planned to stop, but Steve’s body was still tense on top of him, his thighs clenched around his waist, and his pec flexing under his mouth. He backed away to see that Steve looked like he felt: flushed and practically buzzing with pent-up energy. 

“Bucky…” Steve lifted his head, showing James his overexcited eyes. 

“You need another, don’t you?” James asked, smiling softly when Steve nodded and pushed his hips into his fist, moaning from the wet squelch. “Yeah, you do. I got you, Stevie.”

When he was sure Steve wouldn’t fall backward onto the bed, James moved his hand off Steve’s neck and slipped his metal forefinger into Steve’s mouth. As if he read James’s mind, Steve suckled on the digit until they were both satisfied with how wet it was. James pulled it out and slipped his hand into the back of Steve’s pajamas, finding and rubbing the damp finger against Steve’s hole.

“Breathe for me, Stevie,” James murmured as he coaxed Steve open around his finger with soft, steady pressure.

Steve exhaled and moaned as James’s finger pushed inside his ass to the hilt. James didn’t bother with waiting, crooking his finger up and pressing into Steve’s prostate as he sped up his strokes of Steve’s throbbing dick. He let Steve rock his hips between the probing finger and the tight fist, watching heatedly as Steve keened above him, a fresh blush blooming over his skin.

James pressed his forehead into Steve’s, his breath fanning over his lips as he said, “You gonna work me for the next one, Stevie? Make yourself come on my finger? Your tight little hole squeezing me?”

“I…need…” Steve tilted his head up to kiss along James’s jawline, the need in his lips unmistakable. “Need you…I…ahh!”

After one especially deep press, James started pumping his finger in and out of Steve’s ass. He ended each thrust with a firm push into Steve’s prostate that made him gasp each time. He was putting Steve through the paces, but he was fully locked into the signals he had missed or misread before. He saw the very slight upward curl at the corners of Steve’s mouth as it hung open. He felt Steve’s fingers switch between tight clenches and tremulous wriggles on his shoulders, and the warmth of Steve’s sweat forming on his forehead. He heard the tight-knit glimmers of brightness at the edges of Steve’s moans. James was putting Steve through it, and Steve liked it, wanted more of it. 

“Come for me, Stevie,” James growled, slamming his finger hard into Steve’s hole and working it over his prostate. “Come again, right the fuck now.”

With his body stiffening and a cracked cry, Steve came again, flooding the inside of his pajamas with another rush of semen. James stopped his strokes, holding Steve’s dick as it pulsed in his fist. He expected Steve to pick up the thrusts to extend his climax, but this time, his muscles went lax and sank against him. Satisfied that Steve finally seemed satisfied, James eased his finger out of Steve’s ass and slid his metal hand up his spine to rest at the top of his back. Steve dropped his hands off James’s shoulders and hung his arms over them, bringing their bodies closer, their foreheads still pressed together.

“Made me come in my pants again,” Steve sighed, turning his head to kiss James’s cheek.

“It’s becoming a habit,” James said, rubbing his metal hand across Steve’s broad back. “Pretty good one. You feelin’ good?”

“Yeah,” Steve drawled, licking his lips. “Thank you, Buck.”

A chill ran up James’s spine as the moment’s intimacy crested over him. He leaned on a tried-and-true tactic, pulling his flesh hand out of Steve’s pajama pants as he said, “It was totally selfish on my part. I said I wanted a taste, didn’t I?” He pulled back and held his hand, covered in two loads of Steve’s cum, and licked some of it off. “Got what I wanted.”

“You’re so good to me, you know that?” Steve said softly, smiling in a way that suggested he knew exactly what James was trying to do. Before James could offer a retort or begrudging explanation, Steve grabbed his hand and slowly licked up a strand of his cum, his eyes peering into James’s. “Not bad. Probably should’ve had that fruit salad earlier.”

“Fucking hell,” James said in shameless awe.

“Like we said,” Steve said, letting go of James’s hand. “We’re in this together.”

James felt the last remaining airs of discomfort dissipate, settling back into the same rhythm they had shared earlier, when they got on the same page. Even with what had happened since then, he didn’t feel any conflict or contrast. It felt familiar and warm in his chest, pleasantly radiating outward through the rest of his body. 

He was Steve’s lover. Steve was James’s lover. They were together.

It didn’t feel wrong, or less wrong.

It felt right.

Chapter Text

“Can you explain the ice thing to me?”

James groaned and, once again, wondered if killing Steve would cause an international incident.

His frustration was technically not Steve's fault this time around. The Crystal Alcove was at fault. After Steve booked their control session the night before, a staff member left a manila folder — ruby red, because of course — at their door. The folder contained a sizable number of papers that they had to review and submit before participating in the session. There were one-pagers for each available activity, a multi-page FAQ document that answered both obvious and obscure questions, and six pages of consent forms that James and Steve had to sign and initial twice. After spreading all of the pages out on the table, James was ready to call the whole thing off. Steve insisted that it wouldn’t be too much of a lift and would finish quickly enough.

That was 45 minutes ago.

James had been having such a good morning, too. After another oddly restful night, where he slept for a remarkable four hours, James ducked out early to soak in the hot spring while Steve went to the gym. James was embarrassed by it, but he enjoyed his time in the hot spring. It continued to work on his mangled body, easing the aches in the scarring and joints associated with his left side. He was rightfully skeptical of the Alcove’s marketing of the water’s medicinal properties, but he spent an hour longer in the hot spring than the first time. He even briefly entertained collecting a sample and sending it to Steve’s doctor friend to get it analyzed and, perhaps, synthesized for his use.

When he returned to the suite, James found Steve’s gym bag on the living room couch and heard the shower running. He let Steve’s sandalwood body wash guide him to the bathroom, opening the door quietly and slipping inside. Due to some feat of Icelandic engineering, James saw Steve clearly through the shower glass, even through the heavy steam. Steve’s right hand was braced against the shower wall, and his head hung low. The hot water streamed over his broad shoulders and down his back, and his tanned skin carried a soft pink glow, tinted by the shower steam and the effects of his workout. James followed that glow down the left side of Steve’s torso and stopped.

Steve was hard.

No, Steve was more than hard. His dick looked heavy enough to crack marble. The head was almost purple, and James could easily be convinced that the drops of fluid collecting over his slit weren’t shower water. He had no idea why Steve was so erect. Steve seemed fine that morning, more sweet than aroused, cuddling James without going for his dick. James wondered if he should’ve sucked him off before he ran to the gym, or if Steve simply got worked up while hitting the heavy bag. If that were the case, it made sense for Steve to shower at the suite instead of the gym. There was no way Steve would walk around the locker with a raging hard-on, at least not without James there.

Whatever the cause, Steve was stuck with the consequences, as was James. He was transfixed by Steve’s erection bobbing as he shifted his legs to lean forward into his right foot. The change in position made James’s view of Steve’s dick even better, until Steve exceeded that view by tilting his hips so the water pounded directly into his crotch. The water pressure made Steve moan softly, and James was just about ready to join him in the shower when Steve wrapped his right hand around his dick.

James froze.

He hadn’t seen Steve masturbate in a while, long enough to forget how it was one of the hottest sights on the planet. Steve still touched himself like he wasn’t quite sure of what he was doing, with a tentative hand that had to work up to the kind of speed and pressure that his dick craved. He started slow at first and then ramped up his strokes, tightening his fist at the base of his dick for a good squeeze. Steve’s resulting tender moan sent James’s blood rushing south. He stopped himself from squeezing his rapidly-filling dick in his swim trunks, not wanting to distract from appreciating Steve’s accidental display. 

With another, deeper moan, Steve pushed himself off the wall and stood upright. He turned around and leaned against the wall underneath the showerhead, the water streaming over the front of his body giving his muscles a glossy wet sheen. He continued stroking his dick with his right hand and placed his free left hand on his chest, squeezing his pec. James went cross-eyed at the sound of Steve’s richer moan and his metal fingers pinching and tugging on his nipple. The twin stimulation made his breathing heavier and his skin tighter across his muscular torso. James was mesmerized, and just when he thought it couldn’t get better, Steve switched hands, stroking his dick with his left while his right pawed hungrily at his chest, plucking his nipple until it was nearly red. The switch really got Steve going; his abs tensed, and his moans grew louder. He was mesmerizing: soaking wet and brutally aroused, desperate in his need to come.

He was driving James insane.

James stayed rooted to his spot in the bathroom despite his increasingly tenuous grip on sanity. He watched fiercely as Steve worked himself over, wanting to see how far he’d push his body to reach his well-deserved orgasm. What Steve did next was press against the wall and push his hips out. He started thrusting into his wet, clenching fist, letting a long string of whines. His noises had a particularly nasty tenor to them, like the water or the ball of his hand rubbing over his tip was turning him out. He bore out James’s theory by throwing his head against the wall and fucking his fist harder and faster. He crossed his left arm over his chest to squeeze his right pec, working out another groan-worthy burst of pleasure.

James couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t want to interrupt Steve, but he couldn’t just stand there, either. He leaned against the sink and shoved his flesh hand into his swim trunks. He didn’t even need to catch up; his erection was already throbbing and precum was leaking from his slit. He bit his lip to keep quiet as he quickly jerked himself, but he still felt the grunts and moans bubble at the back of his throat. James hadn’t realized how much Steve had turned him on until he was suddenly struck by a huge pop of heat in his trunks that made his asshole clench and sparks run through his shaft. A beat later, James came, groaning as he pumped his swimsuit full of warm cum.

“Fuck,” James sighed in deep satisfaction as his climax receded. 

James’s second moan aligned perfectly with Steve’s orgasm, his cum shooting far out in front of him on the floor. Steve panted and kept thrusting, working every last drop out of his dick while leveling off his climax with soft strokes of his chest. With one last thrust and a soft cry, Steve spilled his last round of cum and fell back into the wall, his chest heaving as he refilled his lungs with steamy air. As he leaned against the wall, Steve rubbed his hand across his chest and stomach, feeling himself up, his fingers slipping over and through his wet, supple muscles. One of James’s favorite things about Steve’s body was how relentlessly hungry it was to be touched, even after an explosive orgasm. However, he was often too modest to touch himself like he currently was, grumbling about it being a vainglorious act. Of course, that was ridiculous, which meant that touching Steve and taking the edge off his overheated body was James’s job. He did appreciate seeing Steve touch himself, offering a refresher on the right buttons to get Steve right.

James waited patiently against the sink for Steve to wash off the remnants of his orgasm and step out of the shower. When Steve turned his head and saw James, he didn’t look surprised. In fact, Steve looked positively pleased with himself. His eyes ever so slowly worked down the front of James’s body, stopping at the bulge in James’s trunks. He then glanced up at James’s right hand, his cum still fresh in his palm. 

Steve smirked, which hit James like a barrelling freight train.

“Hey, James,” Steve said casually, even though there was residual heat from his orgasm in his voice. “Glad you enjoyed the show.”

James felt the freight train dragging him at least five miles down the track as Steve’s words sank in.

Steve took James’s right hand and licked up a couple spots of cum from his palm. “Shower’s all yours, pal. Looks like you need it. See you out there.”

James almost missed Steve’s chuckle as he grabbed his towel from the rack and sauntered past him. He absolutely clocked Steve’s hand, which had been dripping with semen not even three minutes ago, squeezing his hip. Stunned, James turned around in time to see Steve not put on his towel, his bare, beautifully firm ass flexing as he walked out of the bathroom.

Oh . Steve was being a wanton slut punk on purpose, getting James turned on and teasing him into a swimsuit full of cum. It was a setup, and he fell for it.

James turned to look in the mirror, glaring at his reflection as his need for vengeance grew in his gut.

He was going to ruin Steve.

James’s plans for Steve’s sexual annihilation were delayed by 45 minutes of paperwork and Steve inundating him with questions about anal beads, ball gags, and canes.

And ice, because why not? Their conversation was waiting for more ridiculousness.

“We don’t have to do the ice thing,” James said, pressing his forehead into his metal hand, hoping that Steve would accept the exit ramp out of this part of the conversation.

“I’m not saying I don’t want to,” Steve said, ignoring James’s exit ramp and scrunching his face in serious consideration. “I’m just not sure what the goal is. Do people really think being cold is sexy?”

Apparently not, because James’s sex drive was slowly withering into nothingness.

“Some people like experimenting with extreme temperatures,” James tried explaining, falling into the clinical cadence he had developed to get through Steve’s other questions. “You’re putting your body through an intense physical experience, and some people find that intensity pleasurable.”

“So, what, people just rub ice on themselves to make themselves come?” Steve asked, looking unconvinced.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake…” James groaned, feeling better from seeing Steve being visibly irked by his groan. “No, Steve, people don’t just rub ice on themselves to make themselves come.” He then smiled and added,  “Although, given how sensitive you are, you probably could get off just by rubbing ice on your tits.”

“Uh…” Steve said. “I don’t see that happening.”

James felt another piece of his sex drive die, his eyes narrowing. “Your ass is not tight enough to be this anal.”

“We both know that’s a lie.”

James rubbed his forehead again. “Seriously, fuck me for giving you any kind of sexual confidence. I just gave the game away. The biggest regret of my life.”

“So, I guess the wax stuff is the opposite of the ice stuff?” Steve asked as he flipped to the next page.

“Yup,” James said curtly. “So we’re nixing temperature play? Please tell me we’re nixing temperature play so we can move on?”

“Eh, not necessarily,” Steve said, tilting his head back and forth, ignoring James’s death glare. “The wax stuff could be something.”

“Really? You’re a no on the ice but not the melted wax?”

Steve smiled as he looked up from the page. “I’ve had hot things on my body before. Your mouth is scalding .”

“Tread lightly, Rogers,” James warned. “I still haven’t forgiven you for your slutty shower stunt.”

“I’m aware,” Steve said cheekily. “I’m adding wax to the list.”

“You’ve turned sex into the fucking Geneva Conventions,” James said, shaking his head in disbelief. “How does one turn sex into the Geneva Conventions? Why do I even bother with you?”

“My ass,” Steve answered as he wrote in the ruby red notepad that came in the folder. “And my chest. Especially my ass.”

“God fucking damn it to hell,” James grumbled. 

If Steve had turned sex into the Geneva Conventions, the notepad was the official record. One of the pre-session requirements was for participants to write out what they did and didn’t want to try, or their soft and hard limits. The notepad was to be submitted along with all the paperwork. As incredibly annoying as it was, James understood and appreciated the purpose. The Crystal Alove wanted as little liability as possible, hence all the consent forms, and participants in the session deserved to know and understand what they were in for with BDSM. It was especially important for people who didn’t fully know their comfort level, people who happened to be named Steve Rogers, or both.

And so, even though Steve kept asking questions that he could have searched online, he and James sat in their suite’s living room and conducted the Reykjavik Conventions at the table.

They quickly agreed to nix chastity devices, genital torture, and everything involving non-seminal body fluids, the latter nearly making Steve pass out as James explained what that entailed. James cut fisting, even though Steve’s interest was palpable, his eyes darting between James’s face and the metal arm. 

“I could handle it,” Steve had said, reaching for James’s hand, only for James to smack it away.

“I couldn’t,” James replied, which was enough for Steve to agree.

James also passed on knife and gun play because both activities felt way too close to their work against HYDRA. Steve cut animal play, but not without a four-minute tirade about the indignities of someone being treated like a horse. James reminded Steve that all the activities were valid in their own right, which tempered some of his righteousness. Once Steve shifted his tirade to focus on how undignified he found being treated like a horse, James blocked him out, focusing on the third consent form that explained that recording session activities were strictly prohibited and subject to legal proceedings. When the topic of humiliation came up, Steve asked that they not call each other any demeaning, offensive names.

“I know you like me being embarrassed,” Steve had said softly. “But I don’t think I’d like you being outright mean to me. I know that probably makes me boring.”

“It’s not boring,” James insisted. “Yes, I like you getting all embarrassed, but I don’t want you to feel bad about yourself. That’s not what this is about. I want you to feel good. Whatever words don’t, won’t be used by me or anyone.”

They had an impressive shortlist up until the temperature play. Bondage was an immediate yes, as was pegging after James explained what that meant, using their little fantasy play featuring the Widow as an example. Despite Steve’s blush, or because of it, spanking was also a mutual yes. They both wanted to try orgasm control, with Steve interested in edging and James curious about denial, having no memories or subconscious knowledge of it. Steve won James over to breath play, but only with the caveat that Steve wouldn’t hide his discomfort for James’s benefit. James hadn’t meant to push for anything, but he found himself advocating for cuckolding, particularly because he was cuckolding himself. 

“I like seeing you fuck someone else,” James had explained. “I like seeing you perform for me. At least when you’re not being a bratty punk.”

“I’m really gonna pay for that shower stunt, aren’t I?” Steve asked wearily, but with a teasing glint in his eye.

“Oh, yeah,” James said. “You’re fucked.”

James was fine to leave their lists there, but there was one last activity: sensory deprivation.

After reading aloud about the activity, James asked, “What do you think?”

“That’s…” Steve hesitated. “Is it silly to be interested but also nervous?”

“It’s not,” James said. “It’s like you said. You’ve spent most of your life since you got the serum in control. This is taking it from you in a real way. It’s easy to say you want to give up control, but different to have your sight or hearing taken from you.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Steve said.

“Look, Steve, we’ve got a lot to do here,” James said. “We don’t need anything else. Hell, we probably won’t get through it all.”

“Wait…” Steve looked curious. “What sense would you deprive me of?”

“Well, definitely not your hearing, since you don’t listen anyway,” James said.

“Oh, fuck you,” Steve said, tossing one of the breakfast muffins at James’s head.

“Definitely your sight,” James said, leaning back in the chair. “I like the idea of you needing to rely on your other senses to get off. Definitely like you not knowing who could be touching you and why.”

“Sounds like you want to pair this with the cuckolding stuff,” Steve said.

“We can mix and match a few things,” James said. “Pair some things up…see how much we can wind you up.”

“And what does winding me up look like?” Steve asked, leaning on the table.

“I don’t know,” James said, sneering. “Maybe we string you up from the ceiling, blindfolded, while a bunch of people play with your body. Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn’t, but would you be able to tell?”

Steve’s eyes widened. “I could…”

“Really?” James asked. “So if you had three people on you, sucking your tits, eating your ass, and sucking your cum down their throat, you’d know if one or none of them were me?”

Steve mimicked James’s posture by leaning back into his own. “You fit as much of my pec into your mouth as you can and suck on it like you’re trying to milk me. You like flicking your tongue under the head of my dick, but you rub the flat of your tongue against my ass so that I loosen up quicker for you to get your fingers inside me and stretch me out.” He shrugged. “I do pay attention, Buck.”

“Fuck you, Steve.”

“Hopefully,” Steve said, grinning like an idiot.

“You punk,” James muttered. “So…we’re done, right?”

“I think so.” Steve flipped to the last page and then flipped back to the first few pages in the packet, stopping on the fourth one. “We forgot to pick a safe word.”

“What the hell do you know about safe words?” James asked.

“It’s literally right here,” Steve said, showing the page to James. “It’s also in the booklet.”

“Well, since you did the reading this time, do you have one?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “Queens.”

James didn’t get it. “Why Queens?”

“Because screw Queens, that’s why,” Steve said, his eyes glazing over in irritation.

“I’m gonna assume this is some you and Bucky thing that I have no memory of because it’s stupid,” James said.

“We’re Brooklyn boys,” Steve said as if it were an immutable fact. “It’s in our DNA. But don’t worry, I’ll win you over to our side.”

“Okay…” James sighed. “So you understand that, during the session and whenever we do something like this in the future, you say ‘Queens’ when you want to pause or stop, right?”

“Yup,” Steve said as he flipped through the packet one last time and dropped it on the table. “Now we’re done. That wasn’t too bad, was it?”

“It was excruciating,” James said. “But worth it, especially once I get through with you.”

“You talk a big game, Buck,” Steve said, crossing his arms. “How do you know you’re gonna deliver?”

“Don’t worry about it,” James said. “I have it all mapped out in my head.”

“Really?”

“I had a lot of time when I was washing the cum out of my swim trunks,” James said.

Steve’s grin became a bit more cocky. “No one told you to look at me.”

“The government didn’t give you a fat ass and a huge dick for me not to look at it.”

“They gave it to me to fight Nazis and preserve American democracy.”

“American democracy didn’t need you to have a fat ass, thick tits, and that huge dick swinging between your legs.” James stood from his chair and walked to Steve, curving his metal hand around Steve’s neck. “I do.”

He kissed Steve hard, pushing him back into the chair. Steve’s arms came up around James’s neck to pull him closer, but James didn’t budge. He was going to make Steve work for it. Of course, the willful bastard did, trying to pull himself up against James’s body to lick into his mouth. James’s lips curled into an amused smile at Steve’s growing dissatisfaction. Even as he felt his arousal start to stir, he wasn’t giving in, nor was Steve getting anything out of him. 

“Come on, Buck,” Steve murmured against James’s lips. “Gimme something. Want you something fierce…right now.”

“No,” James said, nipping Steve’s bottom lip.

“Don’t you want me?” Steve asked, licking where James bit him, and then licking James back. “We’ve got plenty of time before the session. Take me to bed.”

“I always want you,” James said. “And I would’ve taken you to bed and shown you how much. But…no.”

Steve pulled back, and James could see the gears in his head turning. “Then take me right here on the table. Think we can keep it from breaking?”

“Oh no, we’d definitely break it,” James said. “And I would’ve loved to break you on top of it. But no…you had to be a slutty punk in the shower.”

“Buck…” Steve’s jaw hung open. “You can’t be serious right now.”

“I’m always serious, Stevie.”

“I’m offering you sex on the table,” Steve said, stunned at the rejection. “You love sex on the table.”

“I do,” James said. “Which means I’m serious, huh?”

“No, no, no, no,” Steve said, shaking his head. “Bucky…can’t I make it up to you twice over later?”

“No.”

“What if…” Steve considered his options. “You can eat me out on the table?”

“No.”

“I’ll eat you out on the table!” Steve lowered his eyes and sagged his shoulders. “I know I’m not as good at it as you are…but maybe you can coach me through it? Teach me how to do it really, really good for you?”

Steve almost got James. His being insecure about his sexual abilities was one of James’s chief weaknesses, especially when he physically shrank in on himself and got all timid. Perhaps at any other moment, James would’ve given in, let Steve put him on his back on the table, and talked him through getting his tongue as far up James’s ass as possible.

Unfortunately for Steve, he overplayed his hand. He shouldn’t have lowered his eyes and sagged his shoulders. It was too practiced, too artificial, and James saw right through it.

“No,” James said.

Steve’s head shot up, the meekness in his eyes replaced with shock and then irritation. “Okay…what if I let you take me from behind? Just throw me onto the table and pound into me? Get my butt bouncing like you like?”

That was a tempting offer. “No.”

“I’ll suck you off,” Steve offered. “You could fuck my mouth. On the table, Buck!”

“No.”

“We can fuck on the floor, then,” Steve said. “Like rabbits, just going at it.”

James laughed. “You just said you didn’t want to do animal play. And even if you did want to, no.”

“What the fuck do you want, then?” Steve asked desperately. “I’ll give it to you!”

“Oh, you absolutely will,” James said, kissing Steve deeply again. “Tonight.”

“I think I might hate you,” Steve growled, sitting back in the chair, arms crossed like a kid who was told he couldn’t have ice cream. “Having me beg.”

“Stevie…you don’t know what begging is, I promise,” James said as he signed the last consent form and started pulling together all the papers to put back in the folder.

“Your dick is not big enough to be this cruel,” Steve muttered.

“Tell that to your prostate.”

“Fuck you!”

Steve groused through most of the day, to James’s amusement. He stalked around the suite, making a show of ignoring James. James lapped up Steve’s petulance, playing along with a slight graze of Steve’s shoulder as he walked past him. Each time, Steve instinctively leaned into James’s touch before remembering that he was supposed to be mad at James and brushed him off. James would then chuckle, which only made Steve more grouchy.

James interrupted Steve’s petty feedback loop when he went to the concierge desk to drop off their pre-session paperwork and make some last-minute arrangements and decisions with Ida. He asked if the room could be set up with reinforced chains and ties. Steve could and would probably break them, but James wanted to try at least to restrain Steve properly, so he wouldn’t have to focus on dampening his strength. Ida said they would look into it, but they should be able to make the accommodation. He chose Darius to be their session guide because he was very skilled with his hands, and he wanted Steve to experience it firsthand. 

It was that choice that made a lightbulb go off in James’s head. He asked Ida if they could invite other participants into the session. Ida explained that they could, but they would need to fill out the same consent forms and Alcove intake documents as all patrons did. Satisfied, James submitted a name, and Ida sent him an encrypted link to share with whoever he chose. He stopped on his way back to the suite and made a call.

“Do you want to fuck Steve tonight? How quickly can you get to Iceland? Good.”

James thought that Steve would be over his piss-poor mood by the time he got back, but Steve was still pouting and grumbling, this time on the couch as he swiped on his tablet.

“Why don’t you go work off some of your aggression in the gym?” James recommended, standing in front of Steve.

“Why don’t you suck my dick?” Steve shot back.

“Being a punk isn’t helping your case, Stevie,” James said, smiling through Steve’s petulance.

“Neither is you being a jerk!”

“Go to the gym for a few hours,” James said, testing out the tone he planned on using tonight.

It worked on Steve, the petty air around him dissipating as he sat up straight and looked at James with suddenly agreeable eyes. “I guess I could take a few laps on the treadmill?”

“Sounds like a good idea,” James said, reaching down and carding his metal fingers through Steve’s hair. “I’ll be here waiting when you get yourself in order.”

Steve allowed himself a tiny grumble as he changed into his second set of gym clothes, grabbed his bag, and left the suite. He returned two hours later, his clothes soaked through and his skin flushed. James, who was watching a Danish comedy about two lawyers, smiled at him from the couch. 

“Looks like you had fun,” James said. 

“Yeah,” Steve said, smirking like he was about to drop a bomb between them. “Elias gave me a good race.”

James’s smile dropped. “Is that right?”

“You were right,” Steve sneered. “I had a lot of excess frustration to burn off. Made me really hot and sweaty. Took my shirt off after the first three miles.”

“Hmmm.” James kept his face neutral, refusing to give Steve the satisfaction of his taunt succeeding.

“Don’t worry,” Steve said. “Elias was completely above board. He only checked me out a few times. Didn’t even touch me. He wanted to, though.”

“Why don’t you shower?” James said coolly. “You’re all sweaty.”

“Yeah,” Steve said as he peeled off his shirt, balled it up, and tossed it at James’s head. “By the way, don’t you fucking dare come in here.”

James wasn’t surprised when he went to the bathroom door and found it locked. Steve shouted from the shower, “I told you, asshole!” James laughed, deciding to just add it to the list of reasons why he was punishing Steve tonight. 

Steve’s cold shoulder thawed as the session got closer. His excitement was palpable as they ate dinner in their suite and discussed what they expected from the session, and that they would call it if they felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Steve looked uncomfortable not being at the session already, practically vibrating with excitement as he cut his prime rib. He tried curbing his nervous energy by toying with James like a schoolboy: reaching for his hand and stroking along the veins, playfully kicking him under the table, and standing behind him to rub his shoulders. James figured now was as good a time as any to tell Steve his plans.

“Sit down…” James said, flicking Steve’s hands off his shoulders. “Got something to tell you.”

Steve sat back down in his seat. “What? Is it about the session?”

“Yeah,” James said, taking a sip of his wine. “I got you a surprise while I was out.”

“What kind of surprise?” Steve asked.

“You know how we put cuckolding on the list?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, we need a participant, don’t we?” James asked.

Steve blinked in confusion. “I figured that would be one of the staff members.”

“It could’ve been,” James said, taking another sip. “But I thought you might enjoy something a bit more…familiar. But new.”

“Familiar but new?” Steve shook his head. “I’m not following, Buck.”

“Of course you aren’t,” James sighed. “I invited someone to join us tonight.”

“Wait, what?” 

James was just about to explain when a knock came at the door that made both him and Steve turn their heads. 

“You want me to get that or do you want to?” James asked when he and Steve turned their heads back to each other. 

Steve eyed James suspiciously, but stood up, walked to the door, and opened it.

“Nat?”

“Hey, Steve,” Natasha said in her typical, vaguely amused tone. “Are you gonna invite me in?”

She didn’t wait for the invitation, sliding herself and her black duffel bag past Steve, who was still holding the doorknob, dumbfounded. Her eyes landed on James, and she gave him a typical, knowing glance. “Hello, James.”

“Widow,” James said.

“Is something wrong, Nat?” Steve asked as he closed the door behind him. “Is there a mission or something?”

“Not exactly,” she replied, looking pointedly at James, waiting for Steve to put the pieces together.

“Wait…” Steve looked at James, then at Natasha, and then back at James again, his expression growing increasingly stunned as he did. “There’s no way…Buck?”

“Quite the surprise, huh?” James said, nonplussed by Steve’s reaction.

Steve turned to Natasha. “Did he…?”

“He did,” Natasha said. “Sounds like you’ve been having quite the time here.”

“And he…” Steve glanced at James, frowning. “He asked if you…”

“He did, and I said I was interested,” Natasha finished for him. “It’s up to you. It was my day off.”

“You Avengers have days off?” James asked.

“I do,” Natasha said. “And clearly Steve does, too, since he’s been on partially active duty for the past few months.”

“I’ve…been busy,” Steve said.

“We’ve been busy,” James added.

“Buck…” Steve said cautiously, not appreciating James’s aloof tone.

“Steve, you’re overthinking this…again,” Natasha said, reaching out to straighten the collar of his t-shirt.

“Nat, you don’t have to—”

“I’ve already seen you naked a bunch of times,” Natasha said, crossing her arms. 

“What do you mean, a bunch of times?” James asked, straightening up in his chair.

Natasha tilted her head to James. “Communal showers after missions. Mostly his gorgeous butt, though. I only saw his dick once. And then at the safe house, or did you forget?”

“I didn’t,” James said, his voice rumbling.

Natasha returned to Steve. “And I’ve heard you have sex before. You sound pretty damn great at it.”

“I…” Steve started blushing. “Really?”

“Mmmhmm,” Natasha hummed. “And I already offered to assist you in ending your sexual drought.” She turned back to James. “That was before you came into the picture.”

“Obviously,” James muttered.

“Plus, I’ve seen the way you’ve looked at me sometimes,” Natasha said, smiling at Steve.

“Oh, God,” Steve said, his face crinkling, pulling Mortified Steve to the forefront. “Nat, I’m so sorry, I’m such a—”

“Overthinking again,” Natasha interrupted. “I’m a Widow. I know I’m attractive. It’s part of the package. And, by the way, I’m also not blind. I’ve looked at you the same way.”

“You…have?” Steve asked, his blush getting a shade deeper.

“Do you remember when we got back from Tbilisi?”

“Uh huh.”

“Do you really think I needed a 30-minute shower?” Natasha asked, smirking. “Or was I checking out your ass the whole time?”

“Oh…” Steve was dumbstruck.

“Also the first time I got a glimpse of his dick,” Natasha said to James. “Congrats, by the way.”

“Thanks,” James said curtly.

“So yes, Steve,” Natasha said. “I’m interested if you are.”

“I…uh…I mean…” Steve stumbled over his words, but then seemed to snap into focus. “Wait, did Bucky tell you what we were doing tonight?” 

“Yes, he did,” Natasha said. 

“And you’ve…done something like that before?” Steve asked.

“I’m a Black Widow,” Natasha replied. “Of course I have. I’ve dommed and subbed. I’ll let you guess my preference.”

“I think I know…” Steve said, teetering slightly from side to side. He looked to James for guidance. “And you want to do this? Even with…”

“My past with the Widow?” James finished for Steve. “This isn’t about me, Steve.”

Steve frowned. “Of course it is. We’re in this together.”

“That’s very sweet,” Natasha said. 

“Nat…” Steve looked at Natasha with his “please don’t” face.

“I was being sincere,” Natasha said.

“I didn’t know you were capable of that,” James said.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Steve muttered, shaking his head in defeat.

“Okay, fine.” James stood from the table and walked over to them. “We can put our secret past thing on ice for the time being.” He rolled his eyes at his unintentional pun. “No pun intended.”

“Buck…” Steve sighed.

“Do you want the Widow to join us tonight or not?” James asked Steve.

“Can you at least call her by her name?” Steve asked back. “At least for tonight?”

James rolled his eyes. “Do you want Natasha to join us tonight or not? I’m pretty sure she won’t be offended if you say no.”

“I won’t be,” Natasha agreed. “I will be doing several spa treatments for the Quinjet flight over here, on your dime.”

“It’s not on our dime,” James said. 

“Fine,” Natasha said. “Whoever was dumb enough to bankroll your sex spa stay.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed. “It’s not a sex spa.”

“If you say so,” Natasha said with a wink, making Steve’s shoulders sag.

“The point is,” James jumped in to get them back on track. “It’s up to you, Steve. It’s one of the last choices you’ll be making tonight, so make it count.”

Steve seemed to take James’s words to heart. He took a step back and stared intently at James and Natasha, giving it serious thought. He then took a step towards Natasha. 

“If we do this,” Steve started, crossing his arms. “We need to promise that it can’t change anything between us. You’re my teammate, and you’re my friend. I don’t want to mess that up. There’s too much at stake. If there’s any risk to who we are and how we trust each other, I won’t do it.”

Natasha’s eyes softened. “I’m too jaded to tell you that this won’t change anything, Steve. But I will tell you that I won’t let the change stop us from having each other’s backs. Is that enough?”

James couldn’t help himself. “Pretty sure that’s the most you’re getting, Steve.”

“Shut up, Buck,” Steve grumbled at James before turning to Natasha and smiling. “I think I can make that work.”

“Good,” Natasha said, smiling back at him. “I probably would’ve hated you a little if you robbed me of the opportunity to see you tied up and getting edged.”

Steve went white as a sheet. “He told you?”

“No,” Natasha said. “You just did, though.”

“Smooth, Steve,” James said.

“Now that that’s settled…” Natasha dropped her duffel bag on the couch and opened it, pulling out two thick, metal devices with holes in the middle. “I brought these.”

“Those look like the cuffs that SHIELD tried to put on me when they attacked me in the elevator,” Steve said.

“They are,” Natasha said. “Turns out they had a whole anti-Steve armory in one of the sub-basements. Well, besides the present company.”

“Fuck you, Widow,” James griped.

Natasha spun one of the cuffs in her hand. “I figured these would help restrain Steve so that you don’t have to explain the whole supersoldier thing.”

“So thoughtful,” James said. “Anything else you got in there?”

“Silencing earplugs,” Natasha said, rustling through her bag. “A woven metal blindfold, a couple of leather straps and paddles, and my clothes for tonight. That’s all that applies to you two.”

“You gathered all of that in the time since Bucky called you?” Steve asked wearily.

“Quinjet’s fast, Steve.” Natasha walked over to him and placed her hands on his chest. “I’m not gonna lie…it’s nice touching you without something exploding or shooting at us or you having a nervous breakdown.”

“Uh…” Steve looked down at Natasha’s hands as they rubbed his pecs. “It’s nice to be touched without all of that?”

Natasha flicked her head back, shaking her fire engine-red hair out of her eyes, drawing Steve’s attention to the mischief in them. “Do I make you nervous, Steve?”

“Pretty sure you know the answer to that,” Steve said softly, pushing some free-falling strands of her hair behind her left ear. 

Natasha smirked. “Why? Because I gave you your first kiss since 1945?”

James’s face hardened. “What the fuck are you talking about, Natasha ?”

“I told you that wasn’t my first kiss since 1945,” Steve said.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” James repeated, this time to Steve.

“He’s lying,” Natasha said, eyes still focused on Steve. “You’re a sweetheart, but you definitely hadn’t had practice in a very long time. Something tells me you’ve gotten better, though.”

“I have,” Steve said. “Thanks to Buck. You wanna see for yourself?”

“That was saucy,” Natasha said, impressed. “Let’s see what you got, Cap.”

Steve turned to James, seeking his permission. Annoyed as he was by their shorthand, James invited it because he liked doing things for Steve, he was an idiot, and the two had somehow collided that night. He nodded at Steve, and Steve turned back to Natasha, his hand curving around the back of her head. He lowered his head and gently pressed his lips to hers. 

James watched Steve and Natasha closely as they kissed. Even after all the time they had spent together, Steve still fascinated him. James knew Natasha made Steve nervous; he saw it in how Steve’s arms wound around her. He held her delicately, as if she’d shatter under his touch. Of course, she wouldn’t. She wasn’t a supersoldier, but she had the training to subdue him, training that James had given her in one of his past lives. Steve may have held her like porcelain, but he kissed her with fire, a blaze that would consume her if he lost control. Steve was in control, though, and he was enjoying showing it off. He smiled against her mouth and playfully nipped at her lips with his own. With the brief glimpses of their tongues mingling together and the easy rhythm of their lips, it was clear that they were resolving some unrequited sexual tension. 

They would probably never admit it, though. 

Steve smiled as Natasha let out a slow breath through her pursed, flushed lips. “How was that?” He asked shyly.

“Better than the kiss in the mall,” Natasha said, patting Steve’s chest and glancing at James. “He taught you well.”  

“Yeah, he did,” Steve said. “I’ve wondered what that would feel like…with the proper…experience.”

“He’s fantasized about it,” James popped in. “And more.”

“Buck!” Steve exclaimed. 

“Steve…” Natasha spoke gently. “We’re all about to partake in high-level sexual activities. Can you please get a grip? The modesty is redundant at this point, no?”

“Yeah…sorry,” Steve muttered. 

“Let yourself have fun,” Natasha said warmly. “You’re a good man. You deserve it.”

“Thanks, Nat.”

“And you,” Natasha said as she turned to James. “Same goes for you, too, okay?”

“You don’t know me well enough to say that,” James said, regretting the chill in his voice.

Before Steve could interject, Natasha said, “You may not have all your memories, but I have mine. My point stands.”

Even though he knew Natasha’s specialty was emotional and physical disarmament, James was still shaken by how she affected him.

“Thanks, Nat…again,” Steve said, speaking on James’s behalf. 

“Not a problem,” Natasha said. “And I know I’ll be having a good time. The only thing is that I wish I could tell Tony. He’d go into cardiac arrest at the idea of you getting spanked in a sex spa.”

Steve’s eyes widened in horror at the thought. “It’s not a sex spa, and if you tell anyone, this whole thing’s off.”

“Not even Clint?” Natasha asked with a fake pout.

“He would be better,” Steve admitted. “But absolutely not.”

“Your whole group’s dynamic is weird,” James said with an eye roll. 

“You should see us on movie night at the Tower,” Natasha said. “Tony ruined The Wizard of Oz and It Happened One Night for Steve.”

Steve sighed. “Did he have to explain why Dorothy would’ve never survived the tornado in real life. It was beside the point.”

James stared at Steve as if he had grown a second head with half the brain size of the original. “You do movie nights with these bozos? As in more than one? Are you serious?”

Steve’s face went blank. “Isn’t it time for us to head over for the session? Or at least change, please God?”

His desire to change the subject notwithstanding, Steve was right; they did have to make their way over for the session. Natasha disappeared into the bathroom with her duffel bag, while Steve and James quickly stripped to their underwear and threw on their respective white robes. When Natasha came back out, she was wearing Steve’s spare robe and slippers. James could tell that she was wearing something bulkier than either he or Steve had on underneath their robes, but he didn’t ask what. 

When the three of them arrived at the Serenity Room, both James and Steve noticed how the lobby room had been transformed from when they were last there. The calming blue and white colors that filled the room were replaced with deep reds, greys, and blacks, from the padded walls to the table and couches, with an excess of leather. Waiting for the trio was Darius, wearing a black silk belted robe with red trimmings along the lapels.

“Real subtle,” James murmured to Steve, making Steve elbow him in the ribs to behave.

“It’s good to see you again, Mr. Donaldson, Mr. Ewing,” Darius said. “And I presume this is your guest, Ms. Natalia Feodorovna?”

“That would be correct,” Natasha said with a deeper, darker voice, shooting a quick nod at James and Steve’s puzzled faces. “I appreciate the hospitality that your team has shown me thus far.”

“But of course,” Darius said. “Mr. Donaldson, Mr. Ewing, I hope you’ve been enjoying your stay as well.”

“It’s been…” Steve looked at James and smiled, rubbing his back. “A lot. Very significant. And we’re very much looking forward to this.”

“Wonderful to hear,” Darius said. “Before we get started, we just need to go over some final details and arrangements. As you are all aware, this is a protected session for Mr. Donaldson and Mr. Ewing to explore sexual control. As I understand from your paperwork, Mr. Donaldson, you will be surrendering control to Mr. Ewing, correct?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, his eyes already filled with excited sparks. 

“And you fully understand what that entails?” Darius asked. “That Mr. Ewing will be exerting dominance over you and that I and Ms. Feodorovna will assist in that effort, per his direction. Are you comfortable with that arrangement?”

“Yes,” Steve said.

“Mr. Ewing, you are comfortable with serving as Mr. Donaldson’s dominant?” Darius asked James.

“Yes,” James said, feeling his own excitement rushing through his veins.

“And Ms. Feodorovna, are you equipped to support Mr. Ewing’s dominance and Mr. Donaldson’s submission?”

“Very much so,” Natasha said.

Darius nodded. “As another reminder, if anyone feels uncomfortable at any point in the session and would like to either pause or stop to reassess, they are to use the safe word, which, according to your paperwork, is ‘Queens.’”

“Queens?” Natasha’s eyes narrowed at Steve. “Seriously? You’re still going on about this?”

“Yes,” Steve said. “Because fuck Queens.”

“You’re an infant,” Natasha muttered.

“If everyone is on the same page about the safe word,” Darius said, visibly amused. “Let us head inside and begin.”

Chapter Text

James, Steve, and Natasha followed Darius into the Serenity treatment room, which had also been transformed to match the lobby room’s red, grey, and black color scheme. Against the back wall was a king-sized, four-poster bed with black satin sheets and sheer white fabric hanging from the top panel. Two leather chairs sat on either side of the bed at the end of it, positioned to face the middle of the room, as if the main action would be happening there. It was easy to see why: hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room were the two quadruple-reinforced chains, spread about two feet apart, that James had requested when he dropped off the paperwork. At the end of the chains were two sets of paired leather cuffs, which Steve would be hanging from in due time. Against the left wall was a metal table with several toys and devices, all of which aligned with the session’s chosen activities. It was quite the sight, making James a bit warm under the collar of his robe. It was one thing to write “wax play,” “pegging,” and “spanking” on a notepad. It was another thing to see a candle with matches, various dildos, and a black leather paddle, among other items, all waiting to be used.

“Does anyone have any questions about the configuration of the room or the items on display?” Darius asked, standing underneath the chains.

Natasha walked over to the table and pushed some of the items over to lay out her duffel bag. She quickly removed what she had brought to the resort and then walked back over to Steve and James with the metal cuffs. She looked up at the chain and quickly assessed it with her eyes and right hand. 

“Can you take off those leather cuffs and attach these?” Natasha asked Darius, handing him the metal cuffs.

“Hmmm…” Darius examined the cuffs and then looked at the chain, making an agreeable noise. “It shouldn’t be a problem. It should only take a few minutes.”

While Natasha assisted Darius in installing the metal cuffs on the chain, James sensed that Steve was overwhelmed. His shoulders were bunched tight, and his eyes darted across the room, his breathing picking up slightly. It was a microcosm of what Steve had explained to him before: too much choice bearing down on him, and too many opportunities for something to go wrong, and for Steve to let someone down. James knew Steve didn’t want to disappoint him, and James didn’t want Steve to worry about disappointing him. He didn’t want Steve worrying at all. The session was about stripping Steve of those burdens: control, choice, and considerations. 

Steve needed a reminder.

James pressed his hand firmly into the small of Steve’s back and rubbed wide circles over it. Steve relaxed instantly, his face cracking in relief and his shoulders settling back into place. James stepped closer into Steve’s space and slid his hand up Steve’s back to squeeze his shoulder. Steve almost melted into him, releasing the rest of his tension with a slow exhale.

“That’s it, doll,” James murmured to Steve. “Don’t worry about all this, okay? I’m in control now. You follow my lead.”

Steve turned to James and smiled. “Okay. Thanks, Buck.”

Darius and Natasha finished with the cuffs and chain, testing and securing their strength. Natasha returned to her spot next to Steve, and Darius turned to face all three of them, taking several steps back.

“So, Mr. Ewing,” Darius said. “It is your show. How would you like to start?”

He wanted to start by warming Steve up. Steve had relaxed, but James still sensed a bit of discomfort in the air surrounding him. He needed to be eased into it. Most importantly, he needed to see that he was an object of desire, one that demanded to be adored and defiled, deified and debauched. Steve should be worshipped, as he should always be, so that James could destroy the myth and rebuild the man.

“You ready, Cap?” James asked Steve, wanting to be sure that he had calmed down.

“Cap?” Darius asked.

“Nickname,” James said flippantly, keeping his focus on Steve.

“Yeah, Buck.”

James pushed Steve’s shoulder to move him underneath the chains. He spun Steve around to face him and took his face in his hands, staring into his eyes. Steve was fully locked in, ready and willing to do whatever James commanded. James could’ve easily gotten lost in the unwavering trust in Steve’s eyes, but he hardened himself. He had a critical mission: to rid Steve’s head of the noise and free him through unyielding control. He would dedicate every cell in his body to make that happen.

The only thing that mattered more than worshipping and controlling Steve was James’s own irrefutable truth that he said out loud with icy-hot precision.

“You are mine.”

James pulled Steve’s face forward and kissed him so hard that he felt Steve’s lungs rattle. Steve swayed, and his knees buckled, and James set him upright with his metal arm around Steve’s waist. Steve regained his bearings and tried to touch James, but James grabbed his arms and stepped back. Steve looked confused, and James grabbed Steve’s chin with his metal hand, holding his head firmly.

“No,” James said, knowing it wouldn’t be the first time he said that tonight.

“Buck…”

James looked past Steve to Darius and said, “Strip him.”

Darius nodded and came up behind Steve. He slipped his arms around Steve’s torso and undid the knot of his robe’s belt. He eased the robe off Steve’s shoulders and arms and tossed it aside. He then slipped his fingers into Steve’s black boxer briefs and pulled them down. Everyone in the room had seen Steve naked before, but they were all doing the same thing: drinking in the sight of Steve’s smooth skin, sculpted muscles, and thick, half-hard dick. The attention made Steve retreat into himself a bit, shifting uncomfortably a few times on his feet. James found it charming, especially because he had planned to shatter his shyness into a million tiny pieces.

“Darius, put the cuffs on him,” James said coolly, his eyes trained on Steve, purposefully regarding him as a mild curiosity rather than the man who set his insides ablaze.

Steve trembled when Darius grabbed his arms and lifted them in the air. He held them up while Darius secured the metal cuffs around his wrists, one by one. He shook Steve’s arms, satisfied that they seemed to hold. Of course, James, Steve, and Natasha knew better. 

“Grant, try moving against the cuffs,” James said.

Steve shook his arms with a surprising amount of force, but the cuffs held, even as the chains and his limbs shook. He pushed harder against them, causing his abs to flex tightly and his breath to come out shakily. Again, the cuffs held firm.

James was surprised and impressed. “How’s it feel?”

“Can’t…really move…” Steve said, in awe of the restraints.

“Pretty sure that’s the point,” Natasha said.

“You comfortable?” James asked, his eyes concentrated on the stretch of Steve’s shoulders and chest. “Does it hurt?”

“It’s a bit tight,” Steve said, jerking against the bonds one more time before giving up. “But I’m good. Doesn’t hurt.”

“Good,” James said. “They’re gonna warm you up, get your body ready. You’re gonna feel incredible, just like you deserve. But you are not to move. No jerking, the wiggling, nothing. If you move, you get punished. Think you can handle that, Cap?”

Steve nodded, which was a mistake.

“You know better than that,” James said, his tone hard as stone. “Words.”

“Yes,” Steve said correctly, adding a quick nod for good measure.

“Darius, Natalia? Warm him up. Touch him. Natalia in the front, Darius in the back.”

Darius stepped back behind Steve while Natasha approached him from the front. Darius started first, his hands coming to rest on Steve’s shoulders. He rubbed them slowly, his fingers pressing firmly into the dense muscles. Steve dropped his head and moaned low, his arms flexing to keep still. Darius followed after him, moving his fingers up Steve’s left arm, working his triceps and biceps, working to loosen them up. Natasha started to reach forward when James stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

“Take off the robe,” James said, smirking when he saw Steve look up, his eyes filling with shock. “Give him something to look at. And Cap, you will look.”

Amused by Steve’s face, Natasha stepped back and took off her robe, revealing a black PVC corset minidress underneath that reflected the subtle lights in the room. Steve was frozen, having forgotten that Darius was massaging him and focusing solely on Natasha. His eyes spent several moments on her cleavage before he remembered that he had shame and looked down again, his face warming. She stepped up to him and lifted his head with her fingers, staring at his embarrassed expression with a warm, teasing smile.

“I thought Buck told you to look?” Natasha said, and James felt a strange ping in his ribs at hearing her use Steve’s nickname for him. “Or you gonna disobey him already?”

Natasha’s tone was fascinating: sweet and gentle with an undercurrent of menace that implied that disagreement would not be tolerated. Steve quickly got the message, too, nodding slowly before saying, “No, I won’t.” He kept his head straight ahead, his eyes occasionally drifting between her face and her chest. James shifted to the left of Natasha and looked down at Steve’s crotch. Natasha and Darius’s hands were already having their intended effect, with Steve’s dick rising and thickening in front of him. He tried to act like he didn’t notice, but Natasha moving forward and brushing her skirt against the head of his dick gave the game away. He gasped softly, and his tip throbbed. 

“You gonna be good for your Buck?” Natasha asked sweetly, putting her hands on his chest. “You gonna be good for me? Let us treat you nicely?” Steve didn’t reply, and she brushed her skirt against his dick again, getting a sharper gasp out of him. “I asked you a question.”

Steve blinked and nodded. “I’ll be good…good…”

Satisfied, Natasha began massaging Steve’s chest, familiarizing herself with the slopes and curves of his muscles. Of course, she did so within a minute, finding the spots across his chest that made him startle, tremble, and moan. She got a lot out of squeezing the bottom of his pecs with the webs of her hands. Steve panted softly as she kneaded the hefty muscles and stroked her thumbs over his nipples, quickly making them hard. Meanwhile, Darius had worked his way up and down Steve’s right arm, moving his hands to Steve’s spine and massaging outward over the full breadth of his wingspan before returning to his middle.. 

James kept a careful, thoughtful eye on Steve’s face as Darius and Natasha touched him, their hands in roughly the same place, at the middle of his torso, from the back and front. Again, Steve looked overwhelmed, but in a much better way than before. He didn’t know where to focus, his body caught between four hands that were determined to loosen him up. Steve’s skin looked warm and plush, even though his muscles were still tense from the restraints. His breathing was deep, but it was picking up speed with each inhale. His eyes were fixed on Natasha, but his head moved in whatever direction offered the most pleasurable touch. When Darius’s thumbs pressed into the back of his right hip, Steve rolled his head to the right and moaned. James caught a subtle twitch in Steve’s hip from Darius’s fingers, but not enough to warrant a rule break. Natasha’s hands moved along the opposite side, stroking down his ribcage and through the ridges of his abs. Steve’s head tilted to the left, his eyes filling with low-grade heat as he watched Natasha touch him. Natasha smiled back at him, but James saw something that Steve didn’t. He saw a glint of mischief in her eyes. She had something planned.

Her time came when she shifted her hands over to Steve’s right side, drawing his head back over to the right. As she pressed and rubbed his stomach, she leaned forward and licked Steve’s left nipple with the tip of her tongue. Steve gasped and jerked hard against the cuffs for the first time, making his arms, torso, and dick shake. The cuffs and chains held, but that was immaterial to James. Steve officially broke a rule. He only made it worse when he closed his eyes and rolled his head back, his chest stretching out into Natasha’s mouth. James let Natasha lick over the hard nub a few times and let Steve whine and rock his pec against her tongue before interrupting.

“Cap!”

Steve’s head straightened immediately, and his eyes popped open. James could tell that Steve knew he had made a mistake. Natasha pulled back, letting James replace her. He stared at Steve’s heated face, watching it slowly shift into a conciliatory mode, an apology already forming in his eyes.

“You moved,” James said simply, glancing down at Steve’s left nipple, wet with Natasha’s spit. “I told you not to move.” He reached up and grabbed Steve’s pec, pressing his flesh palm into the damp, hard point, making Steve whimper. “You failed.”

“I’m…sorry…” Steve said slowly, trying to catch his breath. “I…didn’t mean…”

“Not interested in your excuses, doll,” James said, bending down to slowly lick down over Steve’s nipple, sucking a kiss into the bottom curve of his pec. Steve squirmed a little, and James stood up straight, shaking his head in disappointment. “Look at you. I gave you two gifts to show you how hot you make me, and you can’t follow a simple command. Even now, I suck on your tit and you can’t even pretend to stay still.”

“It’s very disappointing,” Natasha added from behind him.

James sighed and left Steve to walk over to the table, grabbing one of Natasha’s paddles. He returned to his spot in front of Steve, and Steve’s eyes immediately went to the paddle, visibly curious and nervous.

“Eyes up here,” James barked, snapping Steve’s attention to his face. “Did you know I wanted Darius to eat your ass before I had to use this? I wanted him to eat you out while Natasha sucked you off and made you cum. I wanted to take the edge off like I promised you. But you had to go and disobey me, didn’t you?”

Steve stayed still, contemplating his answer, and then nodded in contrition.

“So, now I have to pink your sweet ass up before I can let him or me treat it right,” James lamented. “You’re so damn inconsiderate.”

James circled Steve, with Darius moving out of the way. James looked down at Steve’s round ass, no longer clenched tight, looking even thicker and heavier than before. He squeezed his metal hand over Steve’s left cheek, seeing the response spread across his backside. James heard Steve’s lungs expand as he inhaled, and shrink as he let out a shuddering breath. He pushed a finger between Steve’s cheeks and grazed his hole, just because he could and because he knew Steve’s hips would tremble, as they would a second later.

“Buck…” Steve whined, and James felt Steve’s ass flex, as if his muscles were trying to draw his whole hand inside.

“Shameless,” James muttered, but loud enough for Steve to hear.

He pulled his finger from between Steve’s cheeks and raised the paddle, bringing it down against his right cheek with one firm smack. Steve gasped in shock and shook his arms and the chains again, warranting another smack, this time on his other cheek. Steve cried out, making a blended noise of light pain and deep pleasure, sending his head falling forward and his chest and back heaving. 

“Next time will be harder,” James said with an exacting tone.

“He’s dripping.”

James looked up at Natasha, who tilted her head downward towards Steve’s crotch. James looked down over Steve’s shoulder. Indeed, a thin strand of precum was dripping from the tip of his dick, reaching as far down as the top of his thigh. 

“Awww…” James said into Steve’s ear. “Did that get you hot, you getting spanked for being bad? Were you being bad on purpose just so I could spank your fat ass and make you come before I could do it properly?”

“No…” Steve said, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t…”

“Yes, you would,” James said gently, his metal hand holding Steve at his sides, pressing his fingers into the firm flesh. “You love pushing your limits, seeing how much your stupid hot body can handle. But the problem is…” He dragged his hand back to Steve’s left cheek. “You’re trying to steal what’s rightfully mine.”

James smacked Steve’s left cheek with his metal hand and held it there, kneading the chilled material into his smarting skin. Steve shuddered again, and James looked back over his shoulder, seeing the head of his dick drip out another thin strand of precum.

“How’s this feel, Cap?” James said, molding his metal hand into Steve’s cheek with another squeeze. “Does it hurt?”

“Aches…” Steve whined softly, his head swaying slightly as he turned to try to face James.

“Face forward,” James said firmly, with Steve obeying instantly. “Tell me how it aches, doll. Good? Or bad?”

“Good…” Steve panted, his voice skipping when James squeezed his ass again. “A…little…fuck…”

“Focus,” James said. “Use your words. Tell me.”

Steve took a deep breath to steady himself, letting out a tender whine that made him close his eyes again. “Aches…burns a little. But the metal…cools it. Feels fucking good, Buck, shit.”

“You closed your eyes.”

Steve’s eyes snapped open to see Natasha staring at him with a look of pity and amusement. Before Steve could speak, James stepped back and smacked his ass with the paddle again, sending him reeling with a sharp rasp from his throat. James looked down to see that Steve’s ass was now tinted a very light pink, spreading evenly across the middle of its curves and blending in with his skin’s olive glow. James was satisfied with the three strikes and how they left Steve panting and shaking, even though he genuinely tried not to move.

But there was the matter of the other order that Steve disobeyed. 

“You know,” James said, moving to stand in front of Steve, taking in his bright eyes. “I asked Natalia to take off her robe and show off for you, to give you something to make your dick wet. Well…” He glanced down at Steve’s throbbing, dripping erection. “Wetter, rather. I give you that, and you close your eyes…twice. You rejected my offer, her offer, your treat.”

“It’s quite rude,” Natasha said from next to James.

“Very rude and ungrateful,” James agreed and added, putting aside the strangeness of coordinating with her. “How do you think it makes us feel? Do you want us to feel bad?”

“No…” Steve said, his head drooping slightly, looking guilty and ashamed of his transgression against them.

“What do you say when you do something bad?” James asked, lifting Steve’s head with his metal middle finger.

Steve looked at James and then Natasha. “I’m sorry, Buck, Nat.”

“Use our full names like a gentleman, Grant .”

Steve winced and nodded. “I’m sorry, Buchanan, Natalia.”

“Better,” James said flippantly. “But…I wonder…”

“What?” Natasha asked with a look that suggested she was on the same wavelength as James.

“If you’re not gonna appreciate my gifts to you, maybe you don’t need them,” James posited. “If you’re not gonna look at how beautiful Natalia is and how much she wants you, maybe you don’t need to look at anything.” He turned to Natasha. “That’s a fair assumption to make, yes?”

“I’d say so,” Natasha said, chuckling to herself.

James looked at Darius. “Grab the blindfold that Natalia brought and put it on Grant, please.”

Darius nodded and picked up Natasha’s blindfold from the table. He stood behind Steve and tied the thick fabric tightly over his eyes. Steve’s face scrunched, and he turned his head to seek out James and Natasha in front of him. His line of sight missed them by several degrees.

“Can you see?” James asked.

Steve shook his head and said, “No, it’s pitch black.” The subtle shakiness in his voice convinced James that he was telling the truth. “Can’t see anything.”

“How does that make you feel?” James remembered Steve’s slight apprehension from earlier that day and wanted to make sure he was okay.

“Nervous,” Steve answered honestly, unintentionally looking away from James. “But excited. Everything else feels…sharper? Sounds and stuff.”

“Good,” James said. “Darius, Natalia, you can start touching him again as you were.”

James stood back and let Darius and Natasha crowd around Steve, leaving enough space for James to see Steve’s body. He walked to the right and behind Steve to see Darius’s thumbs pushing into the small of Steve’s back, right above the curve of his ass. Darius kept his touch light, not wanting to aggravate the beat-warm skin of his cheeks. He slid his hands down over the sides of Steve’s ass, avoiding the pink skin, and massaged there, getting some soft noises and tight flexes out of Steve. James circled back to Steve’s front and saw Natasha stroking her fingers through the divots of Steve’s hips, getting very close to his pelvis before sliding back up. A few inches below her hands was Steve’s dick, looking obscene, veins popping out along the bobbing shaft and a purple flush coloring the thick, leaking head. It looked like it was about to explode. It corresponded perfectly with the damp, desperate tension in Steve’s face.

“Touch his dick,” James said to Natasha. He then looked at Darius and said, “Play with his hole.”

Natasha gently grabbed Steve’s dick with her right hand, its small size making it look even bigger. Steve’s hips shook a bit, but he quickly corrected, tightening his core muscles. She kept her hand still, too, not stroking but instead rhythmically squeezing his shaft, pumping more blood into his throbbing dick and causing his slit to part slightly, pushing out another runner of precum. Darius, who had quickly gone to the table to pick up a bottle of lube, knelt behind Steve and spread his ass open, his hands on the still-tender skin making Steve grunt softly. Darius popped open the bottle and smeared a drop of lube on his forefinger. He pressed his finger between Steve’s cheeks and made a slow pass over his entrance.

“God…” Steve moaned.

“Are we making you feel good?” Natasha cooed. “You like our hands on you? Tell me.”

“Yes…” Steve moaned. “It’s…damn…so good..”

James believed him. Darius rubbed steadily over Steve’s hole, his finger occasionally catching on the furl when Steve clenched. He stroked up and down, then rubbed circles over it, adding light pressure not to open him but to ensure he felt the finger. Natasha handled Steve the same, still kneading his shaft instead of jerking him off. She and Darius had Steve teetering, split between wanting to sink into their touch and needing to stay present so as not to defy James’s order. The dissonance did wonders for him. James couldn’t see Steve’s eyes, but he imagined that they were completely glazed over, if they were even open. What he did see was Steve’s body looking taut and sleek while he breathed his way through the pleasure. 

It was a shame, then, that James was a greedy jerk who wanted more out of Steve. 

“Eat him out,” James said to Darius. 

Darius nodded and smiled, leaning forward and pressing his face into Steve’s spread ass. Steve cried out as Darius’s tongue ran over his hole while he squeezed Steve’s cheeks. He tilted his hips a fraction back, bringing himself closer into Darius’s mouth, moaning when his tongue moved faster and pressed harder, daring to soften the tightness of the muscle. 

Even though it technically wasn’t a rule break, Natasha did notice when she felt Steve’s dick shift slightly out of her fist. She gave the shaft a firm squeeze, making Steve a whine slip past his lips. 

“You’re not trying to get away, are you?” Natasha asked in that same deceptively sweet voice that was starting to make James’s blood simmer. 

“No…I swear…” Steve shook his head, his voice cracking from another of Darius’s strokes against his hole. 

Natasha turned to James. “What should I do?”

“Jerk him off and make him come,” James said. 

Natasha gave Steve’s shaft one last deep squeeze before she started earnestly stroking him, setting a quick rhythm that was eased by the precum collecting in her palm. Steve’s head hung in front of him as he panted through her strokes and Darius’s licks at his hole. It took mere minutes for them to bring Steve close to the edge, shamelessly aroused and moaning through it, his dick on the cusp of shooting all over Natasha’s dress. 

“I think…” Steve gasped. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna come…Buck!”

“Natalia, let go now.”

Natasha dropped her hand from Steve’s dick, making him shout out a strangled cry. His dick looked just as desperate, pulsating, and brutally hard from the stolen climax. Steve threw his head back and gasped in frustration, his chest heaving. 

“Buck…” Steve whimpered. 

“You said you wanted to be edged,” James said. “And did you forget that Darius was eating your tight little hole out?”

Steve did, as he gasped again when Darius squeezed his ass cheeks and licked more forcefully at his hole. Sensing that Natasha wasn’t going to touch him again, Steve tried leaning his hips backward to get more of Darius’s tongue inside him. It made for a desperate sight, especially paired with Steve’s blindfolded face. His sweaty forehead and blushing cheeks showed just how embarrassed he was by his need to come. He was right at that bleeding edge of shame that James liked him on, and James wanted to push him further.

James tapped Darius’s shoulder, and Darius pulled his face out of Steve’s ass. “You think you can find his prostate?” he asked.

“Inside or outside?” Darius asked back as he opened his robe. 

“Inside, but if you can manage both…” James answered.

“I can manage both.”

“Then go for it.”

Darius drizzled lube over the same finger that he touched Steve with before and brought it back between Steve’s cheeks. He pressed it firmly against Steve’s entrance, and the combined slick of the lube and Darius’s spit wetting Steve’s hole let the finger slip through the softened ring of muscle. Steve gasped and squeezed down on the finger, but Darius circled the tip right inside his hole, stretching him out. When Steve was loose enough, Darius slowly sank his finger to the hilt inside Steve’s ass. He didn’t go for the prostate outright, instead pumping his finger in and out, letting Steve get used to the surprisingly thick digit. After Steve’s stuttering and trembling eased off, Darius crooked his finger.

“Fuck!” Steve exclaimed, signaling that Darius had found his prostate on the first go. “Goddamn it!”

James watched Steve’s dick drool more, two long strands following each other to the floor. Not wanting to waste the third strand, James reached with his flesh hand and swiped the middle finger over Steve’s wet slit to pick up the drop. Steve moaned quietly at James’s brief, barely-there touch, his thighs shaking and his shaft throbbing wickedly again. 

“Thanks for the taste,” James said after licking the drop from his finger. “Sweet as always.”

“Oh my God…” Steve’s voice was tinny and stretched as tight as his arms were. 

James turned to see that Darius was pushing his thumb up into Steve’s perineum. He was surprised that Steve hadn’t immediately come from that dual pressure. Knowing how sensitive and strung out Steve was, it should have been more than enough. When he focused in, James realized that Darius’s thumb on Steve’s taint was pressing lightly into it, a few steps above a graze. It was clever: taking Steve to the brink, driving him crazy with the knowledge that one firm press would send him careening over the ledge into blissful release. 

James was impressed.

He was also impressed by Natasha, who had started touching Steve’s torso again. Like Darius, her hands were light on him, skimming over his most sensitive surfaces. She felt him up with practiced confidence and a whiff of challenge as if she were deliberately trying to get him to crack, even though he wasn’t allowed. The worst for Steve was her fingers ghosting over his nipples, only for her manicured nails to flick right over the stiff points. James could hear the plea for any kind of relief, let alone an orgasm, in Steve’s thready breaths bubbling at the back of his throat. It was too sweet for James to deny.

“Make him come, Natalia.”

He didn’t direct her to a specific method, wanting to see what she chose. What she chose was deliciously cruel. She bent her head down to suck on Steve’s nipple while she rubbed her palm under the crown of his dick. Steve wailed and convulsed, shooting a heavy load of cum into her hand. His hips jerked forward, but Darius kept on him, pressing harder against Steve’s taint while thrusting his finger deep into Steve’s ass. Steve didn’t stop shaking until Natasha’s hand was dripping, after which he sagged against the chains. From James’s perspective, it ranked as one of the hardest orgasms he had ever seen out of Steve.

And they weren’t even done.

“Make him clean off your hand,” James said to Natasha, looking down at her palm.

“You heard him,” Natasha said, lifting her hand in front of Steve. “Lean forward, Grant.” When Steve didn’t respond, his head bobbing slightly up and down, she added. “Buck gave an order. Are you gonna defy it?”

Steve straightened and shook his head. He leaned forward, but the blindfold made him slightly off the mark from Natasha’s hand. She grabbed his face with her clean hand and tilted it in the right direction. Still reeling from his orgasm, he nearly fell into Natasha’s palm, collecting himself at the last second and sticking his tongue out. He made slow, tentative licks of her hand, his cheeks blushing hard. Steve was halfway through cleaning her hand when she abruptly pulled it away and looked at James.

“He’s still hard,” Natasha said, glancing down, not sounding surprised by Steve’s nonexistent refractory period.

James looked down too and saw that Steve was still very hard and even had a residual drip of cum hanging from his slit. “He is.”

“Do you want him to come again?” Natasha asked. “If so…” She wiggled her fingers.

“Do it,” James said. “Give him a minute, and then work him…slow.”

Darius pulled his finger from Steve’s ass and stood on his feet. “What next, Mr. Ewing?”

“Grab a vibrator,” James said.

While Darius went over to the table, James stood behind and leaned into Steve. He reached under Steve’s arms and grabbed onto his chest, feeling the muscles buzz lightly under his hand.

“How you doing, doll?” James murmured into Steve’s ear. “Need a break?”

“No…” Steve murmured. “I can do this…fuck…”

James’s deep squeeze cut Steve off, sending ripples of tension across his back and abs. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” James teased, flicking Steve’s nipple. “I know your whole spiel. Can’t wait to break that down, too.”

“We’ll…see,” Steve said with a soft smile.

James didn’t appreciate the sass, and he wondered if it slipped out by accident or if Steve was baiting him. Either way, James wasn’t in the market for tolerating insolence. He let go of Steve and picked up the paddle he had dropped on the floor. He reared it back and slapped Steve across the middle of Steve’s ass. The impact sent Steve’s hips popping forward, and he quickly locked down his arm and back muscles so he didn’t move further, wheezing as the pain settled over his backside.

“Looks like as good a time as any,” Natasha said, looking pointedly at Steve’s erection. “Wouldn’t have pegged you for someone who got off on being spanked.”

“Me neither…” Steve said with an open-mouth smile as he breathed in and out.

“Go ahead,” James said to Natasha. “But—”

“Slow, work him up, got it,” Natasha cut him off as she grabbed Steve’s dick again and started stroking.

Darius returned with two different-sized vibrators: the black one looked to be around 5 inches, while the flesh-colored one exceeded 8 inches, dangerously close to 9 inches. The smaller one, however, was noticeably thicker and was guaranteed to stretch Steve’s hole to the limit.

“Some people like to start with the smaller one and work themselves up to the bigger one,” Darius explained. “I thought it was best you decide.”

James almost asked Steve what he wanted before remembering that the whole point of this session was to free Steve from choice. He thought not about what Steve wanted to feel but what he wanted Steve to feel. He wanted to push Steve to the limit and hold them there. He wanted Steve to struggle, to give in to his base instinct to fight back, and then succumb when the fight became too much to handle. Then, he would drag Steve back and rebuild him. 

With that desire guiding him, the choice was obvious.

James tapped on the thick, 5-inch vibrator. Darius nodded and walked up behind Steve. Before he could touch Steve, James stopped him with a raised hand. He remembered what Steve had told him earlier, that he didn’t need to see to know when James was touching him. James wanted to test it, lightly grabbing Steve’s right ass cheek. Steve let out a light hiss, but Natasha’s steady strokes of his dick were a helpful distraction. Even with it being over-warm and slightly raw, Steve’s ass was still a dream of firm curves and creamy flesh. James tapped his fingers over the right cheek, and he and Steve both groaned from the feeling. As he touched Steve, James gestured for Darius to come closer and ready his hand. Darius’s fingers quickly replaced James’s, matching the same soft rhythm of gentle squeezes. Steve’s breath hitched at the change in hands, and his ass flexed, as if it were adjusting to the new feeling.

James leaned into Steve’s left ear and whispered, “You feel so fucking good. Your ass is so fucking fat for me. All that sweet flesh’s mine, isn’t it?”

“It’s yours,” Steve moaned, flexing his ass again under Darius’s grasp. “But you’re not touching me, Buck.”

Bastard.

“You sure?” James grabbed Steve’s left cheek with his metal hand and made him gasp. He matched Darius’s cadence, tapping his fingers over Steve’s skin. “Feels like I am.”

“Only the metal hand.” Steve tilted his hips back into James and Darius’s hands. “The other isn’t yours.”

“And who are you to decide that?” James asked, lightly tapping Steve’s ass with his open palm. “I thought you trusted me?”

“I do…” Steve moaned, turning his head back toward James. “But…I know how you feel.”

James steeled himself to stop his insides from turning to mush. He tapped on Steve’s ass again before letting go, gesturing for Darius to take over. He stood to the left of Steve, close enough for his breath to fan over Steve’s blindfold and make him shudder. He pulled Steve’s earlobe into his mouth and started sucking on it. He placed his metal hand on Steve’s left pec and gave it a deep squeeze. Steve sought more, turning his head towards James’s face and trying to move his body closer. Charmed as he was by Steve’s desperation, he couldn’t let Steve's move go unanswered.

“Behave,” James growled directly into Steve’s ear as he slapped his hand against Steve’s pec, directly over his nipple. “Told you not to move.” 

“Buck…” Steve whined, but he moved his body back while still trying to get at James’s face.

“I know…” James softened his tone. “You need it so bad, don’t you? Your body’s still wound tight, isn’t it? You want me to stretch you out and get you nice and pliant?”

Please…”

“I got you.” James looked over to Darius and nodded. “Gonna give you exactly what you want.”

Steve was startled by the soft buzz against the split of his ass cheeks. He tried turning to look over his shoulder, but James stopped him with his flesh hand. Darius slowly pressed the vibrator between Steve’s cheeks, and Steve inhaled sharply as the buzz came up against his hole.

“B-B-B-Buck…” Steve stuttered, his face tensing. “I…I…I…”

“It’s a lot, isn’t it?” James said, rubbing Steve’s nipple, making him even more sensitive. “I bet your senses are heightened, huh? Because you can’t see or move? You feel it so much, don’t you?”

Steve nodded furiously. “So…much…ahhh!”

The vibrator breached Steve’s hole, and Steve shouted, his arms rattling the cuffs and the chains. Darius pushed the toy into Steve’s ass and held it there, letting the vibrations roll their way through his body. Even with Steve’s outsized reaction to the vibrator, Natasha kept her strokes of his dick slow, even, and slick with his cum. Again, Steve tightened his muscles down so he wouldn’t move, but the exertion, combined with Natasha and Darius working him, had Steve’s command over his body slipping.

“Are you close?” James asked, molding his tone into something artificially sweet, close to Natasha’s. “You think you’re gonna come?”

Steve stayed silent, biting his lip and humming through his heaving breaths. He looked like he was hedging his bets, trying not to say something that would get him in trouble. 

It was a cute idea.

“I asked you a question,” James said, gripping Steve’s pec hard, leaving white indents on his skin. “Are you close?”

“Uh huh,” Steve finally answered after some more struggling silence, his back arching to stretch his chest and push his ass onto the vibrator. “Close…I’m…gonna.”

“Who’s gonna…?” James asked with playful mockery in his voice, making Steve’s face pinken more.

“It’s so deep…” Steve moaned, his head falling back.

“So it’s the toy?” James asked. “The toy’s gonna make you come?”

“Yeah…” Steve whined. “It’s on my spot. So…fucking good, Buck.”

“Hmmm…” James lessened his grip on Steve’s pec, only to grip even tighter, making him whimper. “That’s strange because I thought it was me making you come.”

Steve’s mouth dropped open, and he shook his head frantically. “No, wait, Buck, you’re—”

“I picked out the toy for you,” James said mournfully. “I told Darius to put it inside you, get it right up in your sweet little hole, and push into your sweet spot. I have Natalia here rubbing you off, making your dick drool. I thought I was in control?”

“You are!” Steve gasped as a heavy throb passed up his dick. “Goddamn it, Buck!”

“Doesn’t sound like it, according to you,” James said. “I gave you Natalia stroking you so sweet, getting your fat dick wet. And Darius shoving that toy so far up your hole that you can feel it in your throat. I did that for you.”

“You did,” Steve whimpered. “You’re so good…to me…please, Buck…I’m gonna come…”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be so good,” James suggested, dropping his hand from Steve’s chest. “Natalia, let him go.”

“Bucky!”

Natasha let go of Steve’s dick, leaving it jutting and throbbing, the shaft and head still sticky with his first round of semen. Steve howled, and the chains rattled as he yanked on the metal cuffs. The display of frustration didn’t startle James one bit, watching patiently as another ruined orgasm settled over Steve’s overheated body. A few moments later, Steve dropped his head and sagged against the chains, trying to catch his breath. James leaned into Steve and kneaded as much of the front and back of his torso as he could. He waited for Steve to calm down halfway, his skin still buzzing with aroused warmth, but his breathing evening out.

He then snatched it away.

“Stroke him again, Natalia,” James said.

Natasha’s hand curled around Steve’s dick again and resumed stroking him at the same brutally controlled pace. Steve instantly shot back to attention, almost choking on the breath he was halfway through taking. He pressed his feet into the ground and flexed his body up, trying to push himself into Natasha’s fist. What he didn’t account for was the vibrator slipping a couple of inches out of him. The pulses sliding over Steve’s stretched rim made him stumble and fall back harder onto the toy. Steve promptly fell apart, throwing his head back and softly weeping, a few tears slipping out from the blindfold, as the toy buzzed against his prostate. His skin took on a damp, deeper hue, while his thick muscles jumped and rippled beneath James’s hands. James had thought he had seen Steve thoroughly debauched before, but everything else paled in comparison. It should’ve been illegal for him to want more out of Steve, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Want you to come for me,” James murmured as he groped Steve’s right pec and plucked his left nipple, further confusing Steve’s overworked body. “Give it to me. Let me see how bad you need it, fuck.”

Steve groaned low and deep from his throat, which Natasha took as a sign to tighten her fist along Steve’s shaft. He thrust three times into Natasha’s hand and came a second time. Natasha missed catching the first few spurts of cum in her hand, with them landing on her skirt instead. She tilted his dick back and pumped the rest out from the purpling head onto his stomach and over his loosening grip.

“You did well,” Natasha said, cupping the side of his face with her clean hand as she slowed her strokes to a stop. “I’m sure your Buck is proud of you.”

James was proud of Steve. He had taken everything James had thrown at him without skipping a beat. He was being put through the wringer, but was still present. Steve’s dick was still throbbing, and he was panting as if he were still coming. It was Steve’s low moan that reminded James that Darius still had the vibrator inside his ass.

“Would you like me to take the toy out?” Darius asked, drawing James’s attention to him holding the vibrator, buzzing it right over Steve’s sweet spot. “Or would you like me to milk him?”

“Milk…what…?” Steve murmured alongside a small stretch of his hips. “God…it’s good…”

“Really?” Natasha said, shooting James an incredulous look.

“He has some…knowledge gaps,” James said with a head shake. He looked back at Darius and Steve’s ass, saying to Darius, “Just a little bit.”

Darius nodded, slowly pulled the toy halfway out of Steve’s ass, and pushed it back in. He twisted the toy in circles, and Steve’s moan dripped out of his mouth, low and syrupy. His ass cheeks bounced, prompting Darius to rub his left hand over them, encouraging them to relax and return to their full, rounded shape. James swallowed down his burgeoning jealousy at the sight and turned to Steve’s front just as the first long drop of fluid eased out of his dick. Steve tipped his head against his left arm and mewled as his shaft throbbed and his tip leaked into Natasha’s hand. James leaned back into Steve’s left side, stroking his fingers over Steve’s rib cage, zeroing in on the vulnerable stretches of skin that made him shiver.

“How’s it feel?” James asked. “That toy stretching you out, pushing on your sweet spot. You feel your dick drooling all over Natalia’s hand? Tell me.”

 “Aches…” Steve’s head swayed with the stupidest, laziest smile on his face. “Deep…everywhere.”

“So fucking hot like this,” James said, pushing his fingers into Steve’s abs and making the muscles contract. “Your body giving it up for me, dripping all over yourself.”

“Buck…I need…”

Steve turned his head and leaned forward to kiss James, but James stopped him with his flesh hand holding his throat. He pressed his fingers into the creamy column of Steve’s neck, firmly enough to feel the blood rushing through his veins. Steve gulped, and his chest began to rise and fall at a faster pace. James saw Steve’s eyelids shift under the blindfold, but he couldn’t tell if he was opening or closing them.

“You don’t decide what you need,” James said. “I do.”

Steve nodded and lowered his head slightly, waiting for James’s direction. Encouraged by Steve’s relatively easy submission, James squeezed a hair tighter on his throat and pressed his Adam’s apple with his thumb. Steve swallowed and exhaled hard, his shoulders and chest quivering. James sought out the slightest hint of discomfort on Steve’s face, trying to push past his efforts to mask them. James did see some struggle: Steve’s skin was breaking out into a fresh blush and sheen of sweat, and the left chain slightly rattled with the movements of his arm. However, nothing from him suggested distress, real or imagined. If the upturned crinkle of his mouth was any indication, Steve was enjoying the struggle. James looked down and saw that Steve was still hard and heavy in Natasha’s fist, which had resumed its strokes but at an unhurried pace. When James briefly squeezed Steve’s throat again, the crown of his dick throbbed, and a large dollop of fluid formed at the slit.

“So fucking needy,” James growled, finally giving Steve what he said he needed by shoving their lips together in a brutal kiss. 

James surrounded Steve and abruptly pushed Natasha’s wet hand aside so he could wrap his metal one around Steve’s shaft. He stroked him briskly, swallowing down Steve’s shocked gasps. From the corner of his eye, he saw that Natasha, who definitely didn’t appreciate the interruption, had gone after Steve’s chest with her mouth, sucking down the swell of his right pec to his nipple. The scrape of her teeth over the hard nub shattered Steve, making him break from James’s mouth and cry. He pumped his hips hard into James’s fist, and a surprisingly strong rush of cum spilled out over it. James kept stroking until he heard Steve’s last tight moan, and his forehead collided with his. 

“Darius, take the toy out,” James said, lifting away from Steve and watching Darius ease the vibrator out of Steve’s ass. “He needs a break.”

“I can—”

Don’t make me safe word us out,” James interrupted, turning back to Steve and kissing him hard again. “You did good. Proud of ya, you punk. We’re gonna shift some stuff around and restart, alright?”

Steve nodded. “Okay…”

James stepped away from Steve and helped Darius up off the floor with his metal hand. “Can you undo the cuffs? I want him on the bed.” 

“Do you want to keep the cuffs on his wrists?” Darius asked. “Attach him to the bed?”

“Keep them on for now,” James said. “I’ll decide later.”

As Darius worked to remove the cuffs, Natasha and James went to the table to clean their hands off, where she leaned into him and murmured, “Three times in a row?”

“Hush,” James whispered. “And yeah. He’s got a lot more in the tank.”

“Hmmm.”

Darius finished with the cuffs, and James quickly hopped in place to grab hold of Steve as he landed and stumbled on his feet. For some seconds, Steve indulged in James as his anchor, squeezing his arm around James’s shoulders and leaning against his chest. James pulled the blindfold up to Steve’s forehead to get his first good look at Steve’s eyes in what felt like years. He looked blissed out of his mind, the blue in his eyes shrunken to a thin band around his pupils. In those pupils, though, was a glint of darkness, a challenge just for James. It said that Steve was nowhere near done, that he could, of course, “do this all day,” and James was going to have to try harder to break him.

James accepted the challenge with a grin.

Chapter Text

“You ready?”

Steve nodded, and James guided him over to the bed. He turned Steve around to face him and grasped the back of his neck, this time with the metal hand. He traced his fingers around to the front, brushing past Steve’s jugular to his Adam’s apple. Steve tilted his head up slightly, dragging the bump under James’s fingers. That glint in Steve’s eye grew, prompting James to shove Steve hard onto the bed. Steve was briefly stunned, but quickly scrambled onto his elbows to see James remove his robe.

“I thought we had fucked the punk out of you,” James said, smirking as Steve’s eyes roamed hungrily over his body.

“Not yet…” Steve said, his eyes stopping at the bulge in James’s boxer briefs.

“Why should I fuck you, then?” James asked as he shoved his underwear off. “You don’t deserve it.” He grabbed his erection with his flesh hand and started stroking it. “I thought you had earned a taste, but clearly, I was wrong.”

“Buck…” Steve’s eyes shifted in time with James’s strokes. “Come on…”

“No, you come on,” James said, letting go of his dick. He leaned over the bed and ran his metal forefinger up Steve’s dick, making Steve shudder when he circled it under the crown. “I keep treating you nice, and you don’t appreciate it. Maybe you’re not worth the effort. Are you?”

“Jesus, Buck…” Steve moaned. “I am…”

“You don’t get to decide that.” James stroked over Steve’s slit with his finger, coaxing out a thin strand of precum, and stretched forward to push it into Steve’s open mouth. “How do you taste, Cap?”

Steve’s eyes widened in surprise and then relaxed in acceptance, and he dutifully closed his lips around James’s finger. He sucked on it, and when he opened his mouth again, he squeaked out, “Uh…good?”

“I don’t know if I trust you,” James said, backing off the bed and stroking himself again. “Natalia?”

Natasha walked up next to James, looking at Steve with her own smirk. Whatever remained of Steve’s bravado vanished under her gaze, leaving him looking both bashful and curious, intrigued by the contrast between James’s nudity and Natasha being dressed. James would’ve laughed if he weren’t trying to maintain his aloofness and Steve weren’t sucking him off with his eyes.

“Yes?” Natasha asked.

“I promised you a fuck, didn’t I?” James asked back gruffly.

“You did, but you didn’t specify the terms,” Natasha answered.

“Here are the terms,” James said. “Why don’t you see if his dick is up to snuff?”

Natasha tilted her head and scoffed. “Me playing taste tester? Doesn’t seem like much of an offer.”

“Maybe not,” James admitted, quietly noticing Steve’s eye twitch. “What would sweeten the deal?”

Natasha paused for a moment. “Cuffing him to the bed.”

“Wait, why?” Steve asked, not realizing he was speaking out of turn. 

“Because I said so,” Natasha said. “And he’s not supposed to be questioning us, right?”

“No, he’s not,” James said, hardening his gaze and making Steve shudder. “Darius, cuff him, please.”

Steve’s expression was pitiful as Darius climbed onto the bed and fastened Steve’s cuffs to the built-in hooks on the back bedposts. James expected Natasha to move onto the bed after Darius cleared out of the way, but she stayed where she was, staring at Steve contemplatively. 

“What are you waiting for?” James asked.

“He wants something from us,” Natasha said, crossing her arms. “Don’t you?”

“No…” Steve shook his head, although neither the gesture nor his voice was convincing. “I…I wouldn’t…”

“You didn’t ask,” Natasha said, finishing Steve’s incomplete thought. “Doesn’t mean you don’t want to see it. You want to see me and Buck together, don’t you?”

If Steve had wanted to prove her wrong, he was doing a terrible job of it. A dusky pink flush filled his face and crept down to his collarbone. The muscles in his chest and arms were twitching from the tension of trying to stay motionless. He looked at Steve and Natasha through hooded eyes, betraying their tentativeness with an unmistakable hunger gleaming in the corners. The remaining doubt vanished when Steve’s hips suddenly jerked and his dick bobbed above his stomach. 

“You really do want it…” James said.

“Buck, you don’t have…” Guilt started creeping onto Steve’s face. “I don’t need—”

James smacked his metal hand across Steve’s right thigh, stopping him in his tracks and leaving a light pink mark on his skin. “I told you before. You don’t decide what you need. I do.”

“Buck…” Steve exhaled.

“Do you want me to grab the paddle?” James asked. When Steve shook his head, he added, “So stop talking or I’ll take it to your dick.”

Satisfied with Steve’s stunned response, James turned to Natasha. He didn’t know how he could’ve been in her presence for longer than ten minutes at a time, let alone the months they had spent in the Red Rom. For Steve’s sake, he tried putting aside his resentment of her facetiousness to see her as someone he could’ve been attracted to at one point. In truth, it wasn’t that difficult. She was a beautiful woman, with her honey-auburn hair grazing her slim shoulders, contrasting with her creamy skin. His eyes followed down her lithe form, encased in her little black dress, hugging her toned curves. 

James caught Natasha’s eyes on his way back up. She looked like she knew exactly what he was doing: considering whether or not to engage their shared past. She seemed interested, but surprisingly passive, waiting for him to make the first move. James couldn’t help feeling, though, that she was playing a long game where she had all the pieces.

He didn’t want to play that or any game. Instead, James pulled her body into him with his flesh hand and curled his metal arm around her waist. He was surprised when she didn’t stiffen in his hold, motivating him to hug her tighter as he kissed her. He instantly found himself torn between being gentle or forceful, not knowing how they had been together or what she expected from him. Before he could think about it more, Natasha took control, slipping her hands around the back of his head and pressing their mouths together. James was relieved to follow her example, grounding his flesh hand against her back as their lips moved in sync. Her kisses were teasing, her mouth flitting from soft grazes to deep presses while her tongue pushed past his lips. The back and forth left him a bit unbalanced, which he believed to be somewhat intentional.

James matched her style with his own tricks. He threaded his flesh fingers through her hair and tilted her head back. He pressed forward with his face and chest, slipping his tongue into her mouth and making her lean against his metal arm. When she very briefly stumbled, James yanked her back into him, nearly lifting her off the ground. It was a deliberate display of strength to tip her off-kilter. Unsurprisingly, she gave as good as she got, moaning against his mouth and working her arms over his shoulders. James grumbled, not because she had regained the upper hand but because her fingertips on his neck felt vaguely familiar, enough to make him feel warmer than usual.

Needing a figurative and literal breather, James set Natasha back on her feet and pulled away from her. It took less than half a second for her to regain her controlled composure. James, on the other hand, needed more time, taking a few deep breaths to center himself. 

“You haven’t changed all that much,” Natasha said with a shrug of her eyebrows. “It was nice.”

Again, James didn’t know if she was being sincere or needling him for her enjoyment. Instead of dwelling on it, he turned to Steve and saw that his pupils were blown open and his mouth hung open, on the verge of panting like a dog in heat. 

“Was that what you had in mind?” James asked him, sneering at the possibility that Steve couldn’t hear him through the fog of his arousal. 

“Uh…” Steve nodded jerkily, licking his lips.

“You’re shameless,” Natasha said, scoffing. “If they could see you like this…”

“Are you ready to put him out of his misery?” James asked her, trying not to roll his eyes at the casual mention of Steve’s team.

“I suppose,” Natasha said.

She sauntered over to the bed and sat along Steve’s right side. She took her time sizing him up with her eyes, occasionally humming in either curiosity or disappointment. Steve stayed still, but Natasha’s perusal had him on edge, his eyes trying to follow hers. It was a waste of time, and James knew that Steve knew that too, but he didn’t mind watching the effort and how it made Steve’s strung-up muscles and overwhelmed dick twitch.

“What to do with you…” Natasha said, her hand finally resting on Steve’s abdomen, making his muscles tighten. “What did you imagine I’d do to you?”

Steve blinked. “What?”

“What did you imagine me doing to you?” Natasha asked as she slid her fingers down the middle groove of his abs. “And don’t bother lying.”

Steve looked at James, seeking some sort of guidance, but James shrugged. “I’d listen to her if I were you.”

“Um…” Steve bit his lips as his eyes returned to Natasha, his embarrassment at her amused stare making them dart to her chest. “I guess…just touching you…”

“Well, we’re pretty limited in that regard,” Natasha said, offering Steve what looked like a genuine smile. “But I think we can improvise.”

Natasha climbed on top of Steve, her skirt riding up over her hips, revealing her black lace panties. She crept up his body until she straddled the top of his chest, her thighs bracketing his face. James moved around to the left side of the bed to see Natasha’s inner right thigh grazing Steve’s face, and Steve looking positively dumbstruck at her.

“Your mouth can reach, right?” Natasha asked, ruffling Steve’s short, sandy-colored hair. 

“I think so,” Steve said, his eyes shifting between the insides of her thighs.

“Then you should know what to do,” Natasha said. “Do a good job, and maybe you’re worth me fucking. And maybe I’ll give you up to Buck.”

“Sounds fair,” James quipped.

“Aren’t you gonna…” Steve gestured his head down towards her underwear. “Take off…?”

“I don’t see why that’s necessary,” Natasha said. “If you’re a worthy fuck, you should get me off with no problem.”

“He is really good with his mouth,” James said. “When he isn’t yapping it up.”

“Thanks, Buck,” Steve muttered.

Natasha grabbed Steve’s chin and tilted it up roughly, startling him. “Don’t be rude. He gave you a ringing endorsement. Prove that he was right.”

Steve gulped and nodded. Keeping his eyes on her face, Steve brushed his lips over her inner left thigh. When she didn’t respond, he pressed his lips harder, nipping a few times at her smooth skin. Again, Natasha did not react. James saw that her flat expression was getting to Steve, his eyes wavering between self-consciousness and defiance. The latter won out because Steve was never one to back down from a challenge. He inched his lips up her left thigh, leaving faint marks as he sucked on her flesh. He finally got a small marker of encouragement when she shifted closer to him, brushing his mouth against the crotch of her panties.

“Get to work,” Natasha ordered, glaring down at Steve. He moved his head towards her underwear, but before he could reach the fabric, she grabbed his face. “Sniff.”

“What?” Steve looked aghast.

“Sniff,” Natasha repeated. “Or does Buck need to grab the paddle?”

“I…you really…?”

Natasha rolled her eyes and turned to James. “I think you need to get the paddle.”

“Nat!” Steve exclaimed, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.

James sighed in fake disappointment at Steve’s disobedience, trying to simmer down his excitement as he picked up the paddle. He slowly ran the soft leather up the bottom of Steve’s dick. Steve shuddered, and the precum at his slit caught on the paddle, making a whisper-thin string when James pulled it away. Deciding that he liked how Steve’s skin looked against the leather, James kept rubbing the paddle on Steve’s dick.

“God, Buck…” Steve moaned, rolling his hips to rub against the paddle while sucking on the skin of Natasha’s thigh.

“You should’ve done what she asked,” James said, pulling the paddle back and lightly hitting it against Steve’s dick.

“Ahhhh!”

Steve cried at the strike, his hips jumping off the bed. His dick jerked, and a heavy drop of milky fluid slid down his shaft. James thought Steve would come, shooting all over his stomach, but Steve didn’t. His dick did look like it was about to explode, his shaft practically vibrating. 

Natasha turned around and looked at Steve’s erection, just as the head leaked another fat drop of what looked cum. Glancing up at James, she asked, “Does that happen a lot?”

James quickly scanned through his extensive catalog of Steve’s sexual response and shook his head. “First time I’m seeing this.”

“Did you come?” Natasha asked Steve.

“I…” Steve’s face was shaking. “Don’t…think…fuck.”

“You’re close, though,” Natasha said, turning back around and lightly rubbing over Steve’s tip with her finger. “Your cock is buzzing.”

“Oh, God!” Steve gasped, his dick drooling another long strand of fluid. “Gonna cum, Nat, fuck!”

“No, you’re not,” Natasha said, snapping her head forward. “Not before me or Buck.” She looked over to Darius, who was silently observing. “I think he needs one of those penis rings, Darius.”

Darius nodded at Natasha and walked over to the table. He returned with two rings: a simple black silicone one and a thick red silicone one with a small plastic attachment at the top. Both looked laughably small for Steve, but Darius did stretch the black one with his fingers, showcasing its flexibility.

“The black one is good to start,” Darius explained, the black one hanging off his finger. “Grant is quite large, and it will likely feel tight, but he should be satisfied.”

“ I should be satisfied,” James corrected Darius.

“Of course,” Darius said. 

“What is it supposed to do?” Steve asked, his voice still shaky from almost coming.

“Keep you from coming,” Natasha said, adding with a wink, “Among other things.”

Darius nodded. “It keeps you hard and can even extend your orgasms.”

“Uh…” Steve exhaled, and James watched another drop bead at Steve’s slit.

“This one is more advanced,” Darius said, switching the red ring onto the same finger. “It has a vibrator attached at the top. It is meant to stimulate both partners.”

“Will…that make me…come?” Steve asked, his eyes darting between the penis ring and Darius’s face. “I don’t wanna…”

“Be bad?” Natasha finished for Steve, who opened his mouth to make what looked like a retort but shut it and nodded. “No. It’ll keep you on the edge. You’ll want to…badly. But it’ll keep you good for us. How about a demonstration?” She looked at Darius. “Would you mind showing him?”

“I would be happy to,” Darius said. “Which one?”

“The red one,” Natasha said. She rubbed her inner thigh against Steve’s face and added, “We won’t turn the vibrator on. Yet.”

Darius grabbed the bottle of lube and drizzled some of it directly onto Steve’s dick, still standing straight from his crotch, but looking calmer than before. Still conscious of Steve’s sensitivity, Darius eased the penis ring on him, inching it over the swollen head and down his thick shaft. Steve closed his eyes and breathed through it, trying to limit his hip movements. He exhaled heavily when the ring snapped onto the root of his dick. James moved in closer to get a better look. The ring fit snugly around Steve’s dick, and it was already working to make him harder and more flushed. 

Darius curled his hand around Steve’s dick and slowly stroked it, making Steve whine and shift his hips from side to side. His experimental strokes coaxed another drop from Steve’s slit, and he spread it over the over-flushed head. Steve let out a short string of gasps that sounded like he was about to defy the ring, but aside from another deep throb, Steve didn’t come.

“Would you like me to continue?” Darius asked, pausing his strokes and turning to James. “Go further?”

“Yeah,” James exhaled, his eyes transfixed on Steve’s dick. “Do what Natalia asked, please.”

Darius lowered his mouth over the head of Steve’s dick. The bedposts rattled as Steve jerked against the chains, gasping as Darius suckled on his tip. He didn’t take Steve any deeper into his mouth, which James saw as a tender mercy given his apparent skill. Darius massaged Steve’s crown with his lips and traced underneath it with the tip and then the flat of his tongue. He made tight licks over the small bundle of flesh under the head, nearly making Steve choke from trying to contain his noises. His flushed tip made up the difference, seeping out another, thicker drop of fluid that Darius licked up. 

“God…fuck…” Steve whined, his head grinding into Natasha’s thigh. “Ah…God…”

“You haven’t forgotten me, have you?” Natasha asked, pressing her inner thigh into Steve’s face. “Sniff me, and then suck me. Just like I told you.”

Steve’s eyes clenched as another wave of pleasure from Darius’s mouth crested over him, but he nodded. He leaned in between Natasha’s legs and sniffed her underwear.

“Do you smell how much I want you?” Natasha asked, rolling her hips forward to press her crotch into his face. “Can you tell? Sniff again and tell me.”

“Y-y-yes…” Steve stammered after another short sniff. “I can…fuck…”

“Taste me, Cap,” Natasha ordered. “Suck on me. Hard.”

Steve nodded again through his deepening blush and pressed his spread lips into her underwear. Natasha let out an honest moan, her head leaning back and her hips rolling forward into Steve’s mouth. James could see Steve struggling a bit, his neck straining to fit his lips against her mound. He intended to go to Steve, but Natasha beat him to it, cupping the back of Steve’s head and pulling him closer. Steve blossomed under the added leverage, sucking firmly on her clothered sex.

“That’s good, Cap,” Natasha moaned, her free hand stroking over her chest. “Use your tongue and find my clit. Flick over it.”

Steve hummed, and he pressed his tongue forward and up, seeking out the hidden bundle under the lace. After a few long licks, Natasha made a short gasp and pulled his head closer, signalling that he found her clit. Steve flicked over the spot, using Natasha’s carefully considered moans to guide where he moved his tongue and when he should suck on her. Steve was very focused, remarkable as his muscles strained against the chains and Darius blew him. Despite it all, Steve was doing his damndest to obey.

It made James suffocatingly hot.

Steve’s resolve was chipping away at Natasha’s defenses. She controlled her pleased noises and steely gaze, but she couldn’t stop herself from moving her hips against Steve’s mouth, riding his face. She also couldn’t help the warmth blooming across her skin, from her cheeks to the milky skin of her chest. James saw that Natasha was getting off on Steve, that he was truly pleasing her. He also saw, from their occasional shared glances and how Steve sucked and licked at her, that this was a long time coming for them.

“You’re doing so good,” Natasha moaned, gripping the back of Steve’s head harder. “Suck, come on, just a little bit more….”

Steve’s chains jostled as he did what Natasha asked, fighting their resistance to get closer. The added force made Steve’s whole body jerk, including his hips, which pushed more of his dick into Darius’s mouth. Darius didn’t falter, pressing his lips into the extra flesh Steve had given him and then sucking his way back up to the head. James heard Steve’s loud, muffled moan and saw him suck harder on Natasha in return. There was a hint of frenzy in his actions, as if he were trying to make Natasha come before he did. James knew Steve wouldn’t be able to, but Steve was too far gone to realize that. 

The frenzy paid off. Steve spread his mouth and fully covered Natasha’s mound and sucked hard. She gasped and braced her hands against the headboard, rocking her hips over Steve’s face. Steve gasped into her panties, but he sucked her through her climax. He also pumped his hips, working his tip between Darius’s lips. Darius opened his mouth and let Steve rub the thick head against his tongue, collecting the trickling fluid from the slit. Steve’s dick raged as Darius moved back, the tip swollen and the shaft throbbing from the constricting ring, but, again, Steve hadn’t come. 

“Fuck…” Natasha moaned, pushing away from the headboard and sitting back on top of Steve’s chest. 

“Good?” Steve squeaked out.

“Very,” Natasha said, brushing her thumb over Steve’s slightly damp lips. “You did very well. You’re probably aching, aren’t you?”

“I’m…alright…” 

“No one here believes you,” Natasha said, climbing off Steve and lying out next to him, her hand stroking over his chest and stomach. Looking down at his dick, she added. “Still so fucking hard.”

“So…” James cut in. “What do you think, Natalia? Is he worthy?”

Leaning her head against her hand, Natasha said, “It would be an incomplete assessment. I didn’t fuck him. He barely ate me out.”

“He made you come,” James said, narrowing his eyes.

“As I said, incomplete assessment.” Natasha’s finger rubbed against Steve’s right nipple, making him whine from oversensitivity. “I think I have some more work to do.”

“Of course you do,” James said, rolling his eyes. "Well, get on with it. We don’t have all day.”

“Pushy.” Natasha sat back up and slid her hand down to wrap it around Steve’s turgid length. He gasped as she stroked him, wetting her hand with his free-flowing precum. “You know I’m not done with you, right?”

“Mmmhmm,” Steve hummed, his eyes closing to steel himself against her strokes.

“So…are you gonna give me a good fuck?” Natasha asked, slowing and loosening her hand on Steve’s dick. “And I want to hear you say it.”

“Yes…” Steve moaned. “Swear…”

“Good.” Natasha shifted off the bed onto her feet, standing next to James. She looked at him and asked, “Would you mind helping me with my dress?”

James reached for Natasha, his metal hand holding her upper arm while he pulled down the zipper at the back of her dress. The dress melted off of her, falling to the ground in an elegant heap, leaving her in her black lace panties. James’s eyes glided down her back, taking in the sleek lines that led to the firm curves of her hips and ass. Again, he was hit with a sense of familiarity, like he had seen her like this before, even though he couldn’t find a specific example. He felt the instinct to reach out and touch her, but he suppressed it by clenching his hands.

“Wanna help me with the rest?” Natasha asked, glancing over her shoulder.

Emboldened by the offer and Steve’s weary but intense eyes on them, James slipped his fingers underneath the waistband of Natasha’s panties and pulled them to the floor. When he stood back straight, he found his hands settling on Natasha’s waist, his fingers stroking the creamy skin of her hips. He locked eyes with Steve over her shoulder, the fire flickering in them heating his insides. Natasha turned her head into James’s face, and James brushed his lips against her cheek, his eyes boring even deeper into Steve’s.

“Buck…” Steve exhaled. “You’re so…Goddamn it…”

“Try being good for us, and maybe you’ll get to see more,” Natasha said, reaching her arm back to grab the back of James’s head.

“Maybe,” James said, sliding his flesh hand up Natasha’s ribcage and gently squeezing her right breast, pulling an excited, surprised gasp from her. “You’d like to see that, wouldn’t you, Cap?”

Steve hesitated before nodding eagerly. Natasha tugged James’s head closer, encouraging him to kiss across the side of her face. She turned her head towards him, and they kissed again. James pressed his dick against her ass while he squeezed her breast, flicking her nipple with his middle finger. She moaned against his mouth and pulled away, her eyes glinting with honest arousal. Her smirk returned when she saw how turned on Steve was, his arms flexing against the cuffs and his dick leaking shamelessly. 

“Yeah, you would,” Natasha said, stepping out of James’s embrace and climbing on top of Steve’s thighs, his dick resting against her pelvis. “You can barely stand how much you want it.”

She ran her finger from the base of Steve’s dick to the head and spread out the wetness from his slit. Steve quivered in the restraints and took some deep breaths, trying to keep his composure. Natasha didn’t seem especially interested in him doing that, teasing him with slow circles of her finger and then her thumb over his glistening tip. 

“Nat…please…” Steve begged. “Need…need you…”

“Need me?” Natasha asked. “What do you need from me?”

Steve's blush-filled face crumbled. “Nat…I…you know…”

“I don’t know anything,” Natasha said. “I only know what you tell me. So tell me what you want me to do to you.”

“I…want…” Steve looked like it hurt to say the words out loud. “Inside you…”

“Was that so hard?” Natasha asked as she curled her fingers around Steve’s shaft and stroked him slowly.

“I think so,” James quipped. “Look at his dick.”

“Wait,” Steve said. “Should we…use protection?”

James looked at Natasha, not knowing the answer. His memories weren’t concrete enough to confirm if they had used them in the past, and he could admit that they foolishly hadn’t discussed it when he called her. 

Darius piped in and said, “We have a wide assortment—”

“Not necessary,” Natasha interrupted him. “I’m clean, and I know you both are, too.” She gave James a pointed look, and his mind briefly thought of the tests she had run on them after Kaliningrad. “We’re good.”

“You sure?” Steve asked. 

“You’re sweet,” Natasha said, tightening her strokes of Steve’s dick. “But you’re not in charge here. So shut up and let me get you inside me, got it?”

Steve nodded, and Natasha shifted up onto her knees. She held his dick still and pressed her sex down over it. Steve gasped when the head parted her folds, the tendons in his neck popping out as his head fell back against the pillow. Natasha took Steve’s dick inside her inch by inch, her breathing becoming more labored as his length and girth stretched her walls. She threw her head back and exhaled slowly once he bottomed out, her ass sitting on his lap. She placed her hands on Steve’s abs and shifted her hips a little, taking Steve an inch deeper inside her. 

“Oh my God!” Steve gasped, his hips shooting up underneath Natasha, the sudden force startling her into leaning harder into his abs.

James looked down at where Steve and Natasha were joined and saw a trickle of cum slide out of her and down Steve’s shaft. Steve looked down, too, and then at James and Natasha, his face hot with pleasure and shame. He opened his mouth to speak, but he moaned instead, rocking his hips into Natasha again and sending another runner of cum dripping out of her.

“I’m sorry….” Steve puffed. “I didn’t mean…I can’t…”

“I’m flattered,” Natasha said before her face hardened. “But you weren’t supposed to come before us.”

Guilty and frantic, Steve shook his head. “I can keep going…you feel so good…I swear I’m not done.”

“Well, if you’re going to keep going,” Natasha said as she pulled off Steve’s dick. “You should probably clean up after yourself.”

“Nat…” Steve was ashamed, but expectation glowed in his eyes as Natasha moved to hover her wet sex over Steve’s neck.

“Luckily for you, I want to taste you myself,” Natasha said. “So you’re gonna clean me up, and I’m gonna clean you up. I hope you know this is more than you deserve.”

Steve nodded. “I know…”

She swung her legs to turn around on top of Steve and leaned over Steve’s wet erection. She lowered her sex over Steve’s face, and he immediately started working his tongue over and inside her moist folds. She took Steve’s dick into her mouth halfway down his shaft and pulled back up to the bottom of the head. Steve moaned against her, but he kept licking and sucking, his cum leaking out of her onto his lips. 

James moved in closer, observing how Natasha sucked her way up to the tip of Steve’s dick and then traced along its ridge with her tongue. In his mind, he could feel her tongue flicking his frenulum and over his slit, tasting his precum. There was no image attached, but James watching her do it to Steve was close enough to set him on edge. It slowly dawned on him that he sucked on Steve the same way she did, their actions too similar to be coincidental. The most reasonable conclusion was that he had retained her technique from their time together in his subconscious, waiting for Steve to unearth it.

He would’ve pondered it further, but Natasha sat up straight, satisfied with how she cleaned Steve up. Pushing on Steve’s abs, she circled her hips and dragged her sex across Steve’s face, making his lips more damp with traces of his cum and her wetness. While he was still wobbly from coming, Steve wanted to finish Natasha off, cleaning her folds of his cum with his tongue and adding soft flicks of her clit for good measure. His effort didn’t go unappreciated: Natasha let out a string of soft moans when Steve started sucking on her clit. 

“I think he’s done his job,” James said, watching how Natasha’s faint praise made Steve’s dick twitch and bead another drop of precum.

“Ah…has he…?” Natasha asked through a sigh, tilting her hips back so that Steve’s tongue could stroke deeper through her folds. “Fuck…”

“Yes,” James said, rolling his eyes but understanding her resistance. 

“Damn it,” Natasha said.

She shifted off Steve’s mouth and turned around to face him. Her smile from seeing his mouth wet with their combined juices was very obnoxious and annoyed James, but she thankfully bent down and licked over it, cleaning off his face. She sat back up and shifted to sit Steve’s dick against her pelvis, rocking into it a few times, her sex rubbing over his balls.

“Are you gonna be good for me?” Natasha asked. 

Steve tipped his hips back and shuddered at feeling her smooth skin against his dick. “Good…just need…just a minute…I’ll be good.”

“You have thirty seconds,” Natasha said.

She used those 30 seconds to roam her hands over Steve’s muscles, while he finally got himself under control. At the 31st second, Natasha lifted and lowered herself onto Steve’s dick for the second time, taking him inside her sex in one clean movement. While he moaned and instinctively tugged on the chains, Steve didn’t come again.

Natasha looked playfully disappointed. “I’ll be honest: a small part of me wanted to see you come quick again.” Steve’s face flushed red, and James shot daggers at her with his eyes, both reactions prompting her to add, “Just curious.”

“Can you get on with it?” James grumbled. 

Natasha leaned against his chest and started rolling her hips, moaning as she adjusted to the full fit of his inside her walls. James noticed that Natasha was balancing some of her weight on her knees, holding about an inch of Steve’s shaft outside of her sex. He chuckled, proud that Steve was so long that she couldn’t take him all the way. That meant, however, that she was going to overcompensate by putting Steve through the paces for the sake of her ego. James was fine; he didn’t want her to go easy on Steve anyway. He wanted her to wreck Steve inside her walls, so that he could put Steve back together again. 

Natasha embarked on James’s mission by riding Steve’s dick with long, slow strokes, pressing against his chest for leverage. She didn’t take him all the way, but she did work her sex on him with enough force to make him press his head into the pillow and his hips shake. Steve was too overcome by the hot clutch of her walls and her teasing, domineering glare to notice the compromise. 

James could tell from the tension in Steve’s chained forearms that he badly wanted to touch her. Steve was forced to settle, but he didn't mind. He had the perfect view of her body, gazing at her firm breasts bouncing and her slender thighs flexing around his hips. He stared at her with hunger, but also with reverence, respect that was separate from her dominant role over him, and a faint but visible sheen of shame from his position beneath her. 

“Doing well,” Natasha moaned, squeezing her breast and grinding harder onto him. “But I need you to do more.”

“More…” Steve exhaled. “What…do I…?”

“I’m gonna fuck you harder,” Natasha said. “And you’re gonna roll your hips, slow and sweet. You’re going to feel like you’re coming, but you won't.”

“Won’t?” Steve asked, his voice thin. “Why…?”

“Because I said so,” Natasha said, her eyes shining with control. “And you want to be good, don’t you?”

Steve didn’t answer right away; his attention was scattered from Natasha riding him, but when she tweaked his nipple, he rushed the words out. “I do.”

“You do,” Natasha said, sticking her thumb in her mouth and rubbing it over Steve’s reddened peak, soothing it. “You’re gonna be good and do what I ask…now.”

As she promised, Natasha slammed down on Steve. Despite her warning, she looked surprised that he was reaching so deep inside her, and she moaned softly as she adjusted to the new fit. Steve was worse off, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to breathe through the squeeze of her walls around him. When she was finally ready, Natasha placed her feet on the bed and leaned back on her hands on Steve’s thighs. She pumped her hips, pounding her ass into his lap. Steve’s torso almost shot off the bed, but the chains forced him back down. He took a beat, hanging limply as Natasha took his dick inside her to the hilt. Once he calmed down, Steve rolled his hips up into her like she ordered him to. They moved together, Natasha fucking herself on Steve’s dick and Steve stroking it against the top of her walls. They moaned together, too, with Natasha’s coming out low and long, while Steve’s were tight and high out of his throat.

James was surprised that he wasn’t jealous. They were undeniably hot together, chemistry sizzling between them. He probably should’ve resented the intensity of Steve’s stare at his shaft spreading Natasha’s folds open. He definitely should’ve hated Natasha’s playful gaze at Steve’s abs tensing and his pecs flexing with his rolling thrusts. Whatever he thought he should feel was overridden by his admiration of their beautiful bodies, his pride that he could give Steve what he would never fully admit to wanting, and the pure arousal of seeing them fuck. Every pump of Steve’s dick into Natasha made James harder.

“Doing so good for me,” Natasha sighed, leaning harder against her left arm while she palmed her breast with her right hand. “Just keep rolling, nice and slow for me.”

Steve’s eyes brightened at Natasha’s words, and he nodded excitedly. He eagerly followed her instructions, undulating his hips and pitching them up to reach deeper. His smile grew when Natasha ground harder into him. Steve jostled against the chains, forgetting that he couldn’t grab Natasha, and groaned in irritation. His frustration disappeared when Natasha fixed him with a tense stare. She let go of her breast, shifted forward onto her knees, and pushed into his chest. Nervousness quickly clouded Steve’s eyes.

“Behave,” Natasha said sternly, digging her fingers into Steve’s thick pec, making him wince. “You were being so sweet before. You don’t want to disappoint me, do you?”

Steve shook his head.

“Say it,” Natasha said, softening her tone.

“Don’t…” Steve took a shaky breath and nodded. “I won’t disappoint you…”

“Good,” Natasha said, her easy smile returning. “You’re gonna be so good for me, I know it.”

Steve relaxed, his eyes brightening again but also filling with determination as he moved his hips with her. James hadn’t thought much about it before, but he wasn’t surprised that Steve had a praise kink. It was probably mixed in there with his obligation to “perform” as Captain America, and how he secretly fed off the attention when it wasn’t making him uneasy. Knowing that he was giving someone pleasure, someone that he cared about, no less, definitely would hit Steve’s sweet spot. 

The complication was its interaction with Steve’s latent discomfort with his evolving relationship to sex. James knew how Steve still struggled with how pleasure fit into his life, how it opened a new pathway for him to be perceived. Although he needled and teased Steve about it, he took Steve’s doubts about his sexual appeal and whether he was worthy of being wanted seriously. It was the chief reason why he was glad that Steve wanted to try out the session. Steve clung tightly to control, because it was expected of him and because he was a natural-born leader. It made breaking through his rigid expectations and beliefs nearly impossible. 

But there, chained to the bed with Natasha riding him, his body buzzing from three orgasms and an imminent fourth and fifth, Steve was decisively out of control. He was at their mercy, and they were aligned in showing Steve that he was wanted and desired, even and especially when he was being a punk. He had no choice but to accept what they offered, and if he didn’t, he would accept their punishment. James was going to take Steve apart, piece by piece, and put him back together stronger and, just like he wanted, freer.

“Nat…” Steve moaned, rattling the chains as he stretched his body under her firm grasp. “I’m close…”

“You are?” Natasha asked, feigning innocence with her eyes while wearing a smirk. “But you’re not supposed to until I come? What happened, Grant?”

Steve’s eyes rolled back, and his hips smacked up hard against Natasha, his pelvis bumping her clit. “Tight…feels…God…”

Natasha gasped at Steve’s thrust and gripped his pec in retaliation, her red fingernail scraping his nipple. “So you’re blaming me…”

“No!” Steve whined, his biceps flexing as he tried not to yank the chains again. “Please…let me…wanna…”

“You wanna come?” James asked from the side, crossing his arms over his chest.

Steve turned to James, looking at him like he had thrown him a lifeline. “Please…”

“Natalia,” James said, climbing onto the bed. “Let him come.”

“And why would I do that?” Natasha asked, stopping her hips. 

“Because I saw you eyeing the strap-on on the table, and something tells me you wouldn’t mind using it on him,” James said as he placed his flesh hand on her stomach. 

Natasha looked intrigued. “I thought you wanted to fuck him?”

“I will,” James said, turning to Steve and huffing at his wide-eyed stare at them. “But you said you were gonna test him out for me. Pretty sure that includes his ass.”

“Great for you and him,” Natasha said, also catching Steve’s stunned face. “What about me?”

“I get you off,” James said, sliding his hand down to brush over her clit. “Well, I get both of you off.”

James moved his fingers lower to the penis ring around the base of Steve’s dick and pressed the top button. Steve cried out as the ring vibrated, sending pulses up his shaft. Natasha’s response was more controlled, letting a tight moan as those same vibrations moved over her folds and inside her through Steve’s dick. She sat up on Steve, trying to shift away from some of the ring’s pressure. James moved in closer, slipping his metal arm around her back and rubbing his fingers over her folds. Natasha shuddered and let herself lean slightly into him, and he brought his metal hand to her left breast, cupping her firm, round flesh. 

“Buck…” Steve struggled through the ring’s vibrations, but his eyes were trained on James and Natasha, darting between James’s hand kneading her breast and his fingers stroking her folds. 

“Giving you a little treat,” James said, his lips ghosting over her neck and his fingers slipping lower to shift the ring between Steve and Natasha. “Keep doing what she told you. We’ll make her come.” He turned to Darius and said, "Would you mind grabbing the strap-on and then coming over and playing with Steve a little?”

“Of course.” Darius went to the table and returned with a flesh-colored dildo with soft leather straps. He put it down on the bed next to Steve. “Is there anything you’d like to see?”

“Dealer’s choice,” James said, although he had an inkling what Darius might do, based on his eyes landing on Steve’s chest. 

“If I may…” Darius moved off the bed and went back to the table, picking up what looked like another toy. He returned with two small, clear discs attached to a thin, transparent cord and a small remote control. “I think you might enjoy these, Mr. Donaldson.”

“Are those for…?” Steve glanced down at his chest and back up at Darius. 

Darius nodded. “They stimulate your nipples. We do have traditional clamps, but I thought these would be more appropriate for your…sensitivities.”

“Oh…” 

“And you do have a beautiful chest, Mr. Donaldson,” Darius said, getting back onto the bed and popping open the nearby bottle of lube, spreading some onto his fingers. “I’m jealous.”

“You don’t have to…oh…” Steve moaned as Darius started massaging his chest, the lube making his skin tight and slick. “God…”

“I apologize for the cold,” Darius said as he traced the sculpted curves of Steve’s pecs and circled his nipples with his thumbs. “But I believe it will help you relax for your next orgasm.”

“G-g-good…” Steve stuttered, his chest rising and falling faster. “It’s…Christ…”

“Move, Cap,” James barked, snapping Steve to attention. “Or did you forget us while Darius played with your tits?”

Steve started slowly rocking his hips again, when the penis ring pressed into the base of his deck and sent fresh pulses through his lower body. James twisted and moved the vibrating toy on Steve’s shaft, working it between him and Natasha. 

“This alright?” James asked Natasha as he grazed his middle metal finger along the edge of her nipple.

Natasha turned her head, surprising him with her eyes’ soft heat. “I like it…you doing that.”

James knew what she wasn’t saying; he had touched her like that in their past. He looked down at the pink peak against the gleaming chrome of the hand. He zeroed in on it with his finger, rubbing until it was stiff and tight. Natasha closed her eyes and let out a tense moan, an attempt at maintaining her composure. James was fine to let her, keeping his finger on her nipple while refocusing on Steve, his own nipples rock-hard and chest glistening from Darius’s ministrations. The hunger in Steve’s eyes was back, aimed fiercely at James and Natasha. 

“Put the toy on him,” James said to Darius, smirking at Steve panting from the ring.

Darius fit the clear cups over Steve’s nipples and pressed the button on the remote control. Even though Darius set the toy at a low buzz, Steve still almost jackknifed off the bed, making James quickly press his hand hard into Steve’s stomach to shove him back down. Darius helped by pushing on Steve’s chest, resuming his massage. Steve spiraled, his skin overheated, and his muscles shaking underneath James and Darius’s hands. Knowing Steve was near his next limit, James moved his hand back down to the vibrating ring and rolled it quickly up and down Steve’s shaft. Steve whined, losing the rhythm of his hips and jerking up against Natasha instead, bumping the ring into her clit. 

“You’re so close,” James said, pulling the ring up against Natasha’s folds, making her eyes shoot open and stare down heatedly at Steve. “You’re gonna come and make Natalia come, and then we’re gonna fuck you until you can’t see straight. You gonna make that happen? Be good for us and come?”

“Fuck!” Steve cried, his chest arching into Darius’s kneading fingers.

“Fuck me hard,” Natasha moaned, throwing her hands onto Steve’s chest too and pressing the toy down hard against his nipples. “Now.”

Before he completely fell apart, Steve slammed Natasha’s ass with quick, bursting thrusts that banged the vibrating ring directly against her clit. She cried out and turned her body towards James, leaning in and pressing her lips into his. He was stunned for a moment, but kissed her back, pulling her body against him and squeezing her breast with his metal hand. He felt her sex squeeze down on Steve’s dick and her wetness leak down his shaft. He pulled the ring away and gently rubbed her clit, lengthening and then easing her through her orgasm. 

“Clench down on him,” James whispered against Natasha’s lips. “Tight as you can.”

Natasha nodded and licked James’s lips. She pressed her hands into Steve’s chest and raised her hips until the head of his dick nearly popped out of her. She came back down hard and squeezed her walls around Steve’s dick, just as James pressed the ring down against the root of him. Steve howled, coming deep inside her. Wanting to give Steve the same treatment he gave Natasha, James dropped his metal hand down behind Steve’s balls, pressed on his taint with his thumb, and slipped a finger into his ass. Gasping for breath, Steve kept fucking into Natasha, his upward thrusts sending his cum down his shaft, pooling over the ring. 

When Steve finally stopped, James pulled his finger out of Steve’s ass and shifted closer to Natasha, giving her his chest to lean on as she cooled down. Steve looked utterly spent underneath her, his body sweaty and flushed, his arms hanging slack against the chains. Darius tugged the toy off of Steve’s nipples, and James almost choked at what it had done to Steve. His chest was blended gold and pink, and his nipples looked raw and achy. 

James felt an overwhelming urge to take care of them. He leaned over Steve’s body and kissed him gently, not minding that Steve barely responded. He moved his head down and licked at Steve’s left nipple while he rubbed the ball of his metal hand against the right one. Steve rolled his shoulders back, giving up his chest for James to do whatever he wanted.

“So fucking good for me,” James said against Steve’s skin, leaving wet streaks over his nipple and sucking soft marks across his pec to his sternum. “Gonna fuck you so good for being so sweet.”

A soft cough came from behind James, and he looked back at Natasha, who had pulled herself together and threw on her trademark gaze. “I think you’re forgetting something, Buck?”

James’s eyes narrowed; he had forgotten. “You haven’t had enough?”

“Don’t renege on your offer, Buck,” Natasha said, lifting herself off of Steve’s dick, revealing that it was still rock-hard and swollen, courtesy of the penis ring. “It’s bad form.”

“Fuck form,” James shot back, bending back down to nurse on Steve’s pec.

“Bucky…” Steve murmured, tilting his head down. “Let me…I can take it…”

James lifted his head and looked at Steve’s bleary face. “You want her to fuck you?” 

“Is that weird?” Steve asked shyly. 

“Are you seriously asking that after everything?” James asked back. When Steve’s face tightened, he added, “As long as it’s what you want and I demand, we’re good, okay?”

“Then yeah…” Steve said, the spark returning to his eyes. “I want it.”

“You never cease to surprise me, Cap,” James said, lifting off Steve and turning to Natasha. “You heard the man.”

“That was such a waste of time,” Natasha sighed. “It was obvious that he wanted it.”

“Shut up,” James muttered. “Just get on with it so I can fuck him right.”

Natasha looked over at Darius. “Darius, undo the cuffs.”

“No…” James said. “Why?”

“Because if I’m going to fuck Steve, as you asked me to, I want to see his perfect butt while I’m doing it,” Natasha explained.

“Nat…” Steve said, blushing and looking away.

“Don’t start,” Natasha chided. “You can chain him back up, just put him on his stomach.”

“Fine,” James said. “Go ahead, Darius.”

Darius undid the cuffs, and James flipped Steve onto his stomach. Steve gasped when the sheets rubbed against his still-sensitive dick. After Steve shifted himself to get more comfortable, Darius grabbed his wrists and reattached Steve’s left arm to the chain and left his right arm free. 

“I would recommend leaving one of his arms free in this position,” Darius explained. “Some patrons have injured themselves unintentionally by doing both.”

While James doubted that Darius’s other patrons were supersoldiers, he wasn’t opposed, nodding and letting Steve’s right arm remain free. To compensate, James picked up the forgotten blindfold and tied it over Steve’s eyes. 

Despite his initial reservations at the position, James would never tire of the sight of Steve’s perfect backside, especially laid out like this in front of him. His outstretched arms made for the perfect outline of his broad shoulders and back, and how it sloped down to his trim waist and hips. And then there was his ass. Of all his perfect features, Steve’s butt defied logic. It was tight, but thick, with sinfully round, beautifully shaped curves of supple flesh and firm muscle. It was designed for worship; his heavy cheeks squeezed and spread wide to reveal his tight little hole. 

Natasha seemed to understand the immense privilege afforded to her as she slipped on the strap-on. “It’s not fair,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “He has a better butt than me. Better than anyone even”

“Come on,” Steve said, turning his head around, his eyes definitely getting shy behind the blindfold.

“You do not get to be modest about having a perfect ass,” Natasha said, grabbing his waist and dragging her hands down to his plush, muscled cheeks. “It’s ridiculous. Offensive. Why do you even need this much ass?”

“For me,” James said, stroking and then slapping his metal hand over Steve’s right cheek. “I practically live inside his ass.”

“Buck!” Steve gasped from the strike and James’s words.

“Perhaps he needs a better tenant,” Natasha quipped. “Hands and knees, Grant.”

Steve hesitated, his face flushing pink in delicious embarrassment. James narrowed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief at how Steve couldn’t help himself but disobey a direct order. He smacked Steve’s cheek again, making Steve yelp and correct his mistake, rising onto his knees. Before Steve could lift onto his hands, James held him down, keeping his round ass sticking up in the air, his cheeks parting slightly from the stretch. The sight, paired with Steve looking over his shoulder with a confused, almost innocent expression, made James’s asshole clench and the slit of his dick dampen with precum.

“Yeah…” James murmured. “That’s fucking perfect. Face down, ass up.” He turned to Natasha and muttered, “I can’t believe you’re getting in it first.”

“Your fault,” Natasha said, drizzling and stroking some lube over Steve’s hole with her thumb. “You went soft on him, no pun intended.”

“His ass is mine,” James said, squeezing Steve’s right cheek, appreciating Steve’s moan for bolstering his claim. 

“Doesn’t mean it can’t explore other options,” Natasha said, squeezing Steve’s left cheek, humming as her fingers dug into his flesh. “God, that feels good.” 

James scoffed. “Is that supposed to be you? You think you can fuck him better?”

“I’ll let Grant decide,” Natasha said as she positioned herself against Steve and put the dildo at his hole. “Don’t forget to breathe, Cap.”

Steve inhaled, but his breath got stuck on a cry when Natasha drove the dildo into Steve’s ass. She fit the whole toy inside him, and James could tell from Steve’s ragged breaths and the slight tilt of his hips that it was stretching him. Natasha rubbed her hands over Steve’s lower back, trying to ease him through that initial stretch. When his breathing slowed and his back muscles relaxed, she leaned into him and circled her hips like she directed him to earlier, pressing the tip of the dildo into his prostate. Steve keened against the gentle, deep movement, pressing his face against the pillow and pushing his ass back on her. James noticed that Steve’s free hand was rhythmically squeezing the pillow. He had an idea of what Steve was doing, and he looked down underneath Steve’s hips to see his dick dripping precum halfway down to the bed. 

“Oh…” James sighed, looking at Steve’s pink face. “You wanna jerk yourself, don’t you? Your dick is so fucking hard, must be driving you crazy.”

Steve only moaned his answer, his teeth scraping the pillow.

“But you wanna be good,” James continued, stroking Steve's thigh. “Because neither I nor Natalia gave you permission to touch your gorgeous cock, and you knew you’d be punished if you did, didn’t you?”

“I…good…” Steve drawled, biting the pillow when Natasha pressed her hips harder into Steve’s ass. “Wanna…be good...”

“You are,” James said softly. “But you’re so sensitive.” He reached down and grazed a finger over Steve’s leaking tip. “Wouldn’t be able to last a stroke without hurting yourself. And you would, you and your stubborn ass.”

“Buck…” Steve whined. 

“You need something soft and warm on your dick,” James said, pulling his hand back to Steve’s thigh, chuckling at his disappointed whimper. “Calm you down before I get inside you. You’d like that?”

“Mmmhmm…” Steve hummed. “Whatever…you want…”

Before James could ask him, Darius walked over to the table and returned with a clear, columned device. It had a circular opening at one end and a short black handle on the opposite end with a button in the middle. He poured some lube into the device's opening and pressed the button, causing the device to whir. He pushed the button again to stop it.

“I believe you wanted the penis sleeve?” Darius asked, handing the device to James. “To masturbate Mr. Donaldson with?”

“You’d be right,” James said, turning to Steve. “This is gonna get you nice and easy for me, just like I like you. You gonna be good for it?”

Steve hummed his answer again, understandably softened up by Natasha’s strap-on stretching him out and pressing into his spot. 

“Good boy,” James murmured.

James pushed the toy against Steve’s drooling dick and gradually worked it up his thick shaft until it reached the base. Steve briefly sparked back to life as he filled the sleeve, twisting his torso and eeking out a high moan from his throat. Tempted as he was to send Steve barrelling into another climax, James matched Natasha’s rhythm, slowly working the sleeve over Steve’s dick. Keeping the languid pace wasn’t easy for him, though, with the strokes of the lube-slick toy on Steve’s shaft making a nasty, squelching sound that made James’s face go hot.

Despite his insistence that he could “do this all day” and that short burst of energy from the sleeve squeezing his dick, Steve was nearing his limit. He kept himself up on his knees, but his only movements came from Natasha fucking his ass and James jerking him off with the sleeve, his hips bumping between them. And yet, Steve wasn’t completely helpless. He moved his free hand from clutching the pillow to clutching his chest, rubbing his thumb over his tender nipple. He whimpered into the pillow at the new stimulation and then bit his lip to keep from making louder, more anguished noises. Nothing beat out the blissful look on Steve’s face, even with the blindfold on. He was completely unbound from expectations and commitments, only subject to the pleasure coursing through him.

James had his limits, too, and seeing Steve so overwrought was making his dick ache. He needed a bit of relief before he blew the rest of Steve apart. He gestured for Darius to take over rolling the sleeve on Steve’s dick and moved up the bed, his flushed erection looming over Steve’s face. 

“Suck on me,” James ordered as he turned Steve’s head. “Get me ready to fuck you like you need.”

Steve didn’t even hesitate, taking James’s dick into his mouth. He tried flicking his tongue under the crown, but James held his head still and slowly thrust in and out of Steve’s mouth. Steve easily gave in, letting James use the flat of his tongue and the wet warmth of his mouth to get off. It didn’t take long for James’s shaft to throb and his vision to blur at the edges. He pumped harder into Steve’s mouth, with one firm thrust bumping the head of his dick into the back of Steve’s throat. Steve swallowed around James’s tip, sending pleasure roiling through his shaft. James grunted and sped up his thrusts while he reached down, knocked Steve’s hand away from his chest, and pinched his sweet nipple. Steve’s gasp around the head of his dick made James come down his throat. James’s pinch sent Steve’s ass hurtling back into Natasha’s grinding hips, and he shouted as he came inside the sleeve.

Darius dragged the sleeve off Steve’s throbbing dick. Even though he had come, Natasha didn’t stop fucking Steve, having caught on to him having a brief second wind. Indeed, another rush of cum spilled from his slit. After she pulled the dildo out of him, Steve’s hips fell onto the bed, panting with James’s tip still dripping on his tongue. James pulled the blindfold off Steve’s closed eyes and backed away, scanning Steve’s sweaty, muscular body. He would’ve been fine to let Steve rest; he looked more than broken down enough in James’s estimation. He wouldn’t be surprised if he had to carry Steve over his shoulder back to the room. 

But then Steve rolled halfway over on his side, groaning a bit from the chain tugging at his left arm. He was showing James that his dick was still hard, the penis ring doing its job at keeping him ruthlessly erect. 

“You promised…” Steve slurred. “You’d fuck me…”

“I did,” James said, stroking his own erection. “But you look like you’re done.”

Steve shook his head slowly, unsteadily. “Nuh uh. Get inside me…please…I’ll…be…good.”

James shook his head at Steve’s nerve and his steadfastness. “And what makes you think you can handle it if I say you can’t?”

Steve’s eyes sparked. “Make…me…prove it.”

James considered Steve’s offer and looked around the room, seeking an idea to satisfy it. His eyes settled on Darius, standing by the side of the bed. He looked down at Darius’s blue boxers with the noticeable bulge in the front. He had more than exceeded James’s expectations and the call of duty, and he deserved some kind of tip. He wasn’t opposed to Steve paying it. 

“I’ll fuck you if you can fuck Darius,” James said, looking up at Darius’s genuinely surprised face. “He was a big help, wasn’t he?”

Steve looked at Darius and nodded with a small smile. 

“So if you’re as resilient as you say, you should be able to fuck him while I pound my sweet ass,” James reasoned, glancing pointedly at Natasha, who rolled her eyes. 

“I…can…” Steve said. 

“Do you want to?” James asked Darius. 

“When I have male partners, I usually top,” Darius said, looking at Steve’s dick. “But I will happily make an exception in this case.” 

“Well then,” James said. “I think you should undo the cuffs so we can wrap this up.”

Darius leaned over Steve and undid the cuff on his left arm. While Steve shook off his arm’s stiffness, Darius went over to the table and grabbed a condom. He handed the condom to Steve and lied down on the bed, tugging off his boxers. Steve got onto his knees and ambled about on the bed, visibly unsure of how to get started. It made sense to James; Darius would only be the second man Steve topped, and the first one was a superpowered supersoldier who rode him for all he was worth. Darius was a regular man, obviously more experienced than Steve, but much easier to injure because of Steve’s inexperience. James could see some of Steve’s discomfort start to peek through the residual haze of his orgasms.

He sidled up next to Steve and kissed him, slowly and deeply. It was a distraction, as was his flesh hand stroking Steve’s chest and stomach to get him back in the mood. When James pulled back, Steve was more relaxed, his lips parting to exhale, and his eyes ignited. James took the condom out of Steve’s hand and opened it, slowly rolling it over his sensitive erection. He moved behind Steve and turned him by his hips to face Darius, who already had a finger up his ass, opening himself up for Steve. 

“You gonna help him?” James asked Steve from behind. “You know he’s gonna need it to fit your big dick in him.”

James handed Steve the bottle of lube, and Steve poured some on his forefinger. He slowly leaned over Darius and lowered himself between his spread thighs. Steve put his hand on Darius’s thigh, and Darius guided it lower to his hole, bringing the lubricated finger next to the one already in his ass. 

“Stroke his hole and then push it in,” James directed Steve from behind him. “Work it in and out.”

Steve’s wet finger trembled over Darius’s rim a few times before he felt comfortable enough to press it inside him. His confidence grew at Darius’s response to him reaching deeper, bottoming out alongside his finger. Steve and Darius worked their fingers in and out together, loosening Darius up and turning Steve on, his skin flushing again. Steve leaned on Darius more and rocked his hips on top of him, rubbing his dick over Darius’s abs and making the smooth muscles of his ass flex. James palmed one of his round cheeks as a treat to himself, and Steve looked over his shoulder, his slightly tired eyes twinkling mischievously. 

“Get on with it and fuck him,” James ordered. “I’m sick of waiting.”

Steve nodded, and he and Darius pulled their fingers out of Darius’s ass. Steve resettled between Darius’s thighs and lifted upright. James watched as Steve fumbled trying to line himself up with Darius’s hole, so he grabbed Darius’s hips and tilted them up against Steve’s thighs. He then grabbed Steve’s dick and fit it against Darius’s loosened rim.

“Now push,” James said, his hands moving to Steve’s waist.

With James holding on behind him, Steve pushed his dick into Darius’s ass, filling him in one clean thrust. Darius moaned as Steve bottomed out, while Steve gasped as Darius’s hole immediately gripped his overworked but resilient dick. Darius rolled his hips in a controlled circle, first to adjust to Steve’s incredible length but then for Steve’s benefit, massaging his shaft with his walls. The third roll made Steve fall forward on top of him, and Darius lifted his legs around Steve’s narrow waist, pulling him closer and cradling him with his thighs. Steve looked down at Darius, his cheeks pink with embarrassment, but Darius only smiled, rolling his hips again and clenching down on Steve’s dick.

“Fuck me,” Darius said.

Steve started pumping into Darius in earnest, his hips smacking against his ass. He completely filled Darius’s stretched hole with each firm thrust and pulled genuine moans and grunts out of their pleasant but relatively stoic attendant. Seeing that he was making Darius feel good, Steve became more confident and even playful in fucking him. He lowered his mouth to Darius’s chest and sucked on his clavicle, and ground his abs into Darius’s dick. Steve’s torso stretched and rolled on top of him, the stretched muscles of his shoulders and back shifting fluidly. His sleeker, firmer thrusts made his firm, rounded ass flex and bounce. When he moved from straight thrusts to winding rolls of his hips, Steve’s balls pulled in and his cheeks spread open, offering a tantalizing glimpse of his clenching hole, still wet with lube. 

“Fuck,” Steve moaned, shifting again to firm thrusts that made his thighs and ass flex as he dug deeper inside Darius. He started flicking his tongue over Darius’s small, firm nipple. “Feels so good, so tight.”

James felt an ember of jealousy kindle in his stomach watching Steve fuck Darius. He lived for fucking Steve, filling his perfect ass, reaming him open, and coming so deep inside him that they both saw stars. But there was no denying the beauty of seeing Steve fuck, with his beautifully sculpted body and its tentative eagerness to please. He had seen it when they fucked Katerina and Victor, and when they fucked Brooke in Sardinia. He had always known it. 

What was startlingly new to James was wanting to be on the receiving end, wanting Steve to fuck him . It was a small fragment of him, but it was there, and it was scraping at his insides. That fragment wanted to be Darius. He wanted Steve inside of him, his thighs clinging to Steve’s tiny waist, Steve’s lips sucking his nipples, the head of his long dick bumping his prostate. He wanted to feel Steve come inside him, his seed dripping out of him.

His thoughts were ignited when he felt a hand wrap around his shaft. Natasha pressed against his right side, her soft hand stroking him slowly, making his dick buzz with heat. James turned to her, and he swore she knew what had been spinning around in his head, and that she understood. Not just because she had Steve inside her earlier, but because she knew what that, or any kind of intimacy with him, might mean for people of their ilk: redemption, salvation. It wasn’t fair to make Steve responsible for that, but James and Natasha didn’t live in a world of fairness. They were pragmatists. Whatever optimism or grace they could access was sourced from Steve. They could be honest in that.

“Think you’re ready for him,” Natasha said, giving James one last stroke. Before she could back away, James leaned in and kissed her. It was slower and softer, but again, it felt familiar. When he pulled back, he saw her caught in her own recollection, smiling to herself. She added playfully, “Now, you’re ready for him.”

James turned to Steve and abruptly grabbed his ass, stilling him while he was balls-deep in Darius’s hole. He bent down, spread Steve's thick cheeks open, and licked at his hole. When he felt his rim tighten against his tongue in surprise, he spanked Steve’s cheek hard with his flesh hand and then fit a metal finger inside him. James held Steve’s hole open while he licked inside the rim with the tip of his tongue. He heard Steve whine and felt his hole flex and flutter, but he pushed his tongue and finger deeper, ready and willing to lose himself in Steve’s ass. 

He had meant it to be quick preparation, but the intensity of the session had James’s head swirling, and hungrily eating Steve out was his way through the fog. James hadn’t even realized he had his whole finger inside Steve’s hole until he suddenly grazed his prostate.

“Bucky!” Steve yelped, trying to ride James’s finger while grinding his hips into Darius’s ass. “Fuck…gonna…God…”

James snarled against Steve’s ass, his teeth grazing the inside of his ass cheek as he pushed a second metal finger into Steve’s loose hole. He scissored them, widening Steve even more, and pumped them hard into his prostate while his thumb stroked and prodded his taint. He saw Steve tighten around his fingers, and he pressed his tongue to Steve’s rim so he could feel it. The wet flick against his stuffed hole made Steve cry and come inside Darius’s ass. Steve fell on top of Darius, panting against his sweaty chest. He tilted his head and licked at Darius’s nipple while slipping his hand between their bodies to wrap around his dick. Steve quickly stroked Darius’s dick in his tight fist, and James heard Darius gasp. He looked down and saw Darius’s balls tighten as he came between his and Steve’s stomachs.

James had waited long enough. Steve was still panting on top of Darius when James yanked his ass up in the air. Steve used what little energy he had to push up onto his hands while James pressed his dick against Steve’s hole, wet and pink from James’s relentless fingers and tongue. He slammed hard into Steve and pounded his ass with fast, short thrusts. He was in hot pursuit of his second orgasm in Steve’s tight ass, but he also wanted to see those thick cheeks, teasing him as Steve fucked Darius, bounce on him. He decided he didn’t have to choose, squeezing Steve’s lush curves while reaming him open on his dick. As hard as James gave it to him, Steve held firm, sharpening every muscle to keep himself sturdy against James’s powerful thrusts.

“You’re fucking everything,” James wheezed, leaning down against Steve’s back to hear his weak grunts and moans. “You gave me fucking everything: your tits, your mouth, your tight fucking ass control. You took everything I gave you. Gave it all up to me.”

“Buck,” Steve moaned pitifully, turning into James’s face.

“How many times did you come for me?” James asked, his senses starting to fray. “Do you even remember? I don’t fucking care anyway. You would’ve broken your dick for me, wouldn’t you?”

“Buck…” Steve repeated softly, his lips grazing his face.

“I would,” James groaned, knowing he was about to come as his dick throbbed harder in the hot clutch of Steve’s hole. “I’d break my dick for you.” 

James wrapped his metal arm around Steve’s torso and pulled them both upright on their knees. He molded his chest tight to Steve’s back but still fucked him with deep, almost punishing thrusts, knowing that Steve could handle it. Steve threw his left arm back around James’s neck to hold on, and James reached over with his right hand to grope his stretched-out pec, tugging his tender, hard nipple with his thumb and forefinger, making Steve nearly squeal. With his metal hand, James ripped the used condom off Steve’s miraculous erection and turned the penis ring’s vibrator on. Steve sobbed as the pulses overwhelmed him, making the head of his dick flush purple and his veins pop out along his swollen, aching shaft. 

“You’re mine, Stevie,” James whispered, surrendering the last of his diminished command to jerk the ring on Steve’s dick, timing his strokes to his bumps against Steve’s prostate. “And I’m yours.”

“Yours,” Steve cried, his dick straightening even harder in front of him with one thick, vicious throb. “Yours

“Come for me,” James said, the words coming out low and nasty before he slammed their lips together in a bruising, soul-shaking kiss. 

Steve wailed into James’s open mouth as he climaxed, and his exhausted dick dribbled one last streak of cum over Darius’s thighs. A moment later, with Steve’s walls clenching his dick so tight that he thought he might pass out, James came inside him, flooding Steve’s spent hole. His hips gave out, and he kneeled, pulling Steve with him onto his lap. James didn’t care that Steve’s loose, puffy hole leaked his semen out onto his thighs, making a mess out of both of them. He also didn’t care that every muscle in his body was burning from exertion, his softening dick struggling to remain inside the easy clutch of Steve’s ass. 

All James cared about was Steve. He was completely limp on top of him, his head hung low against his chest, his shoulders and arms sagging, and his breathing thready. He wasn’t unconscious, but he had no capacity to do anything but rest against James. James reached down and lightly touched Steve’s dick, feeling that it was finally soft and spent. He turned the vibrator off and held Steve’s penis gingerly in his palm. 

He did it. He broke Steve. If James were honest, he didn’t actually think it was possible. Sure, he promised to, but Steve was Steve Rogers. Even in a protected setting such as this one, he figured that Steve would retain a small reserve of willfulness to keep him from surrendering. James could’ve lived with that; there are worse things than barraging Steve with pleasure until he teetered on the edge of destruction. 

But seeing Steve like this — his guard obliterated, his body shattered by ecstasy — defied what should’ve been possible for humanity. James had been through too much, including the things he couldn’t and maybe would never remember, to believe in God. But he did believe in Steve, and witnessing him this way was definitive proof of the divine.

“Help me out,” James said, turning his head to the left to seek out Natasha.

Natasha came to James’s side and helped lift Steve off James. Steve murmured something unintelligible before letting his head rest back on the bed. James sat cross-legged and pulled Steve’s head and shoulders onto his lap, his metal hand stroking Steve’s arms and chest, hoping the metal offered some cold relief to his overheated skin. After cleaning herself down with some wipes on the floor next to the bed, Natasha grabbed her robe off the floor and pulled it on as she sat on the edge of the bed. Somehow, Darius had quickly pulled himself together, also cleaning himself off with the wipes and even getting his boxers back on. James and even Natasha, on the other hand, were still slightly dazed from the experience. They were also concerned about Steve.

“I must say,” Darius said. “I have fielded many of these sessions over my time here, but that may have been the most intense one. It was an honor.”

James didn’t know what to say, so Natasha spoke on their behalf. “Thank you for your help. Speaking of…” She looked pointedly at Steve. “I assume there is some form of aftercare?”

“Of course,” Darius said. “We have a special heated pool down the hall of this private suite. We source the water from the springs and enhance it with additional restorative minerals. The room has adjustable controls to alter the ambiance. I think Mr. Donaldson would benefit from the ‘elevation’ setting. It’s for participants who have the most exhaustive experience.”

“I think that makes sense,” Natasha said, crossing her legs. She turned to James. “We’ll give Steve a minute and then head over.”

“I don’t—”

“Not negotiable,” Natasha cut James off with the same tone she had used at the safe house in Slovakia. She turned back to Darius and asked, “Do we need to get Grant dressed? He has a gorgeous body, but we don’t want to scandalize the other guests.”

“You were the only session scheduled for today,” Darius explained. “So you are free to move through these rooms as you wish. However, we do ask that you redress before leaving the suite.”

“Of course,” Natasha said.

“I will leave you to it, then,” Darius said, bending his head. “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay.”

Darius left the room, and Natasha stood from the bed and grabbed James’s robe, handing it to him. James hesitated, not wanting to disturb Steve or himself yet, but after Natasha coughed in annoyance, he took the robe from her and put it on. He eased out from under Steve and climbed off the bed, grabbing the tub of wipes and quickly but gently cleaning Steve and himself off. He carefully pulled Steve against his chest and swept his metal arm under Steve’s thighs, lifting him off the bed. Steve murmured again and wrapped his left arm around James’s neck. With Natasha grabbing Steve’s robe off the floor, they left the room through the left door and followed the hallway to a room labeled “Recovery,” across from the locker room that James and Steve had used after their perineal massages.

The “Recovery” room was a large, marble-white room with a large pool of steaming mineral water in the middle. There were benches against the walls with an assortment of amenities spread across them: lotions, apparel, towels and washcloths, bottled drinks, and, to James’s surprise, more sex toys, although they looked less severe than the ones from the session. There were different massagers and vibrators, but they read as gentler, even rehabilitative. 

“Buck…?” Steve stirred against James’s chest, his arm tightening around his neck.

“Put him down on the empty bench,” Natasha said as she walked over to the tablet panel affixed to the wall and scrolled on the screen, reviewing the different controls and settings.

Right after James laid Steve down on the bench, the colors of the room changed, the white walls reflecting the soft cerulean from the wall and overhead lights. The room was instantly calmer, soothing the jitters that James didn’t realize he had. Steve stirred on the bench at the changing colors, rolling onto his side and exhaling softly.

“This is the elevation setting,” Natasha said, turning from the tablet and grabbing three bottles of some Icelandic sports drink off one of the benches. “Here. He needs to drink at least two of these.”

James knew that, but he took the bottles anyway, deciding not to pick a fight with Natasha. He turned back to Steve and kneeled next to him. He opened one of the bottles and gently shook Steve’s shoulder, getting him to open his eyes into very low slits.

“Drink,” James said softly, gently tipping the bottle over Steve’s spread lips, helping him take slow, short sips. “Easy.”

Steve finished his sips and opened his eyes a fraction wider. “Hey…Buck…”

“Hey, Stevie,” James said. “Gonna sit you up, okay?”

“Mmmhmm.”

James slipped his hand under Steve’s back and lifted him gently to sit up on the bench. Steve’s body still sagged, but he seemed a bit more alert, albeit with a slight sway of his torso and arms. James rubbed his hand in circles over the small of Steve’s back, and the gentle touch sent Steve drifting again, closing his eyes and leaning forward against James’s chest.

“Feels good, Bucky,” Steve slurred, his lips brushing James’s collarbone to the scarring in front of his metal arm.

“Shhhhh,” James said, tilting Steve’s head up and making his eyes open again. “Gonna move you into the pool. Get you put back together, okay? Can you stand, or do you want me to carry you?”

“I can stand…” Steve said softly. “But…”

“You want me to carry you,” James finished for him.

“Like it…” Steve said lazily. “Feel good.”

“Such a little punk,” James said, smiling.

“Your punk.”

James pulled Steve back into his arms and carried him over to the edge of the pool. He set Steve on his feet, but let Steve lean into him as he dropped his robe to the floor. He guided Steve with a hand against his back down the steps into the pool, both of them moaning softly at the heated, tingling sensations of the water. It immediately reminded James of their private spring, and gentle excitement eased through his veins at the prospect of a recuperative soak. 

James moved him and Steve through the water, and he leaned back against the middle of the longest edge of the pool. He pulled Steve into him, and Steve leaned his head back against James’s shoulder, closing his eyes again. James settled his hands against Steve’s stomach under the water, skimming his fingers through the relaxed ridges of Steve’s abs. Steve let out a slow exhale and stretched, his tired muscles flexing, seeking more of James’s soft touches.

“Here,” Natasha said, kneeling behind James and handing him a light blue vibrator. “Pretty sure it’s waterproof. Just stroke it over his chest and stomach. Anywhere but his dick.”

James leered up at her, annoyed again at the direction, but he took the vibrator and switched it on to its only setting: a very soft buzz, perfect for Steve. He brought it to the top of Steve’s chest and lightly stroked it over his skin. Sighing, Steve tried lifting his chest out of the water to feel more of it, but James pressed his metal hand into his stomach, holding him down.

“Easy, Stevie,” James said.

“Feels good,” Steve said, his body begrudgingly settling back against James. “Need…more…”

“Shhhh.” James circled the vibrator across the vast stretch of Steve’s pecs and ran it along their firm curves, avoiding his nipples. “Just relax. Doing good.”

Steve did as James said, and the tension that had started to build in his muscles dissipated, leaving him soft against James. Satisfied that Steve wouldn’t move, James resumed touching him underwater with his metal hand, stroking up and down his ribs, across his waist, and over his thighs. He slid his hand around Steve’s left thigh and up the heavy curve of his ass cheek. 

“How you feeling?” James asked.

“Good,” Steve said softly. “Water’s warm…tingles.”

“Yeah,” James said. “Just what you need right now.”

“Need…you,” Steve sighed, turning into James’s face. “Inside me…”

“No,” James said, returning his metal hand to Steve’s abdomen. “You need to rest. You had a long day.”

“I know,” Steve exhaled softly. “Don’t fuck me…just the tip…just wanna feel you…please.”

Steve’s gentle plea and the mere idea of it made the head of James’s dick throb. Despite his better judgment, he pressed his tip and an extra inch into Steve’s crack. Steve didn’t make a sound, but the firm muscles of his ass cheeks flexed around the head, holding tightly onto it. James made small circles of his hips, stroking the head of his dick through Steve’s cheeks, while his hand underwater slipped between Steve’s legs to rub softly at his perineum. While James could feel his tip thickening between Steve’s cheeks, Steve was completely soft everywhere. James had no urge to satisfy his hunger for Steve by getting another orgasm out of his loosened body. He preferred them like this for the moment: his fingers stroking Steve’s skin, his dick nestled in the tight split of Steve’s crack. It wasn’t sex, but it felt more intimate. It felt right.

“He looks cozy,” Natasha said as she stepped into the pool and waded over near James and Steve, leaning against the opposite corner. 

“He’s fine,” James said, moving his hands back onto Steve’s stomach but keeping his dick between Steve’s cheeks. “He just needs to rest here some more.”

“Yeah,” Natasha said. “After that, you and I need to talk.”

James’s skin suddenly chilled. “Talk about what?”

“Some observations I made today,” Natasha answered. “And what they may mean for Steve, and you.”

“Are you serious?” James asked, thankful for the water’s rejuvenating properties and how it kept him from dissolving into anger.

“Very,” Natasha said. “And I’m not leaving Iceland before we talk.”

“Widow…” James said, his voice dropping low.

“Just like you said,” Natasha said. “You had a long day. So did I. We’re not talking about this now. But we will. Focus on Steve, okay?”

James had no other intention but to focus on Steve, but he knew the chill over his skin would remain long after they left the pool.

Chapter Text

James was starting to doubt his avoidance skills.

He thought that he had found a way out of Natasha’s insistence in the Recovery room that they “talk” about something involving him and Steve. He first used Steve as an excuse, telling her that whatever they needed to talk about could wait until Steve was fully restored from the control session. She was amenable to that, agreeing to visit one of the resort’s restaurants while James and Steve returned to their suite for some alone time. 

“I’m fine, really,” Steve fussed after James carried him into the bathroom, sat him on the toilet, and started filling the tub with soapy, scalding-hot water. “I don’t need a bath. We spent an hour in the springs!”

“Don’t you ever get tired of yapping when people try to take care of you?” James asked as he pulled Steve up, pulled off his robe, and pushed for him to get in the tub.

“No…oh…” Steve let out a deep, pleased moan as he sank into the water, stretching out so everything below the top of his chest was submerged.

“Now are you willing to shut up?” James asked, kneeling next to him.

“There’s plenty of room,” Steve said, his eyes lowering, making his best seduction attempt. “Come on, Buck.”

“It’s just like you said,” James said. “We just spent an hour in the springs. Which means I spent an hour with my dick in your ass.”

“You didn’t put it all the way in, though,” Steve said, making his half-pout. “And you didn’t even come.”

“Did Sarah know she raised such a needy little slut for me?” James asked, smiling wolfishly as he leaned into Steve’s face.

“I’m not needy,” Steve said, his half-pout growing into a full pout. “It’s not my fault you’re a tease.”

“A tease?” James looked fake-shocked. “Me? After all I do for you?”

“You could do more,” Steve muttered, tilting his head down but looking up through his eyelashes.

“I could?” James tilted his head in thought. “And what exactly could I be doing more?” He looked inside the tub and slipped his left hand into the water. “I don’t know, Steve. Need you to direct me.”

“You’re on the right tra…track…” Steve sighed as James wrapped the metal fingers around his shaft. “Jesus, Buck.”

“He’s not here right now,” James murmured into Steve’s ear after leaning in. “Guess I’ll have to do.”

It was an hour of soft touches, gentle words into Steve’s ear and scalp, and James stroking his slowly thickening dick. Despite his whining, Steve hadn’t fully regained his strength, which left him occasionally dozing off against the side of James’s face while James carried on touching him. He fully awoke in time to whimper and slowly and sweetly kiss James as he climaxed into James’s fist.

Natasha returned to the suite to find Steve lying nude on the bed, with James straddling his ass as he massaged the kinks of Steve’s back muscles. She looked more skeptical of James this time, but whatever protest she intended to make was shut down by James moving lower to stroke his fingers deep into the firm flesh of Steve’s ass. 

“You could help if you want,” James offered, patting Steve’s bare left cheek.

“Ignore him,” Steve mumbled into the pillow, tilting his head to peek at Natasha with one eye. “You don’t have to.”

“Do you want me to?” Natasha asked, crossing her arms, not realizing she was falling into James’s trap.

“Nat…” Steve was too lethargic to blush, but the want in his voice was palpable. 

Natasha and James ended up kneeling together on the bed, each taking custody of one of Steve’s ass cheeks. James was especially gracious, spreading his cheek and directing Natasha to look down at Steve’s tight hole. He was worried he was overselling it until Steve, the little tart, tilted his hips towards Natasha. A few minutes later, Natasha was sliding her lubed finger into Steve’s hole, pumping it inside him until Steve was whining for release. She tapped at his prostate, and James held Steve’s dick as it spilled on the towel below him. 

Afterward, Natasha picked up one of the catalogs and used the suite phone to book an evening spa treatment. She also booked her own room, pointedly raising her voice when she told the concierge to bill the charges to James and Steve’s suite. When James asked why, Natasha said she figured that he and Steve were going to have sex again because they were “juiced up rabbits,” and she wanted to get some sleep after an admittedly long day. 

James didn’t mind having Victor pay for Natasha’s expenses, mostly because he knew that she would end up being right. Before any of that, he ordered room service to the suite, selecting from a special “recovery” menu that Darius had slipped under their door. He ordered them a large plate of free-range Icelandic lamb, Ástarpungar, and a bowl of fresh fruit. Although he was more alert, Steve struggled with his plate, taking what felt like one bite every hour. After 20 minutes of watching Steve barely nibble through his meal, James dragged his chair next to Steve and cut the substantial rest of his lamb into pieces.

“I don’t—”

“Don’t you even start with me, Rogers,” James said, holding the fork with a piece of lamb on it. “Take the damn bite.”

Steve took the bite and every other one that James fed to him. Steve looked sheepish after he had finished, silently admitting that he needed the help and that he appreciated James doing it for him. He had regained enough energy to quickly finish his fruit while James took care of his own meal. After dinner, James led Steve over to the bed with the intention of them sleeping, even though something told him that probably wasn’t happening. Like clockwork, after 12 minutes of lying down in the dark, Steve tugged James’s metal hand down from his stomach to his dick, already hard in his pajamas. 

“Go to bed, Stevie,” James said softly, although he didn’t move his hand off Steve’s dick.

“Let’s just fool around,” Steve said. “It’ll help me sleep.”

“You don’t need help,” James sighed. “You’re exhausted.”

“Just the tip,” Steve offered, pulling the back of his pajamas over his ass and pressing his crack against James’s covered crotch.

“You already used that line,” James admonished. “And how is ‘just the tip’ fooling around?”

“You know…” Steve looked over his shoulder. “All this time you spent arguing with me could’ve been spent inside me.”

“What the hell has made you this insatiable?” James asked as he begrudgingly moved his hand to cup Steve’s ass.

“You bringing me to a sex spa,” Steve moaned as he rocked against James’s squeezing fingers.

“This isn’t a sex spa.”

“I don’t care. Just do something, anything.”

What James settled on was a nighttime blowjob in the dark. He was deliberately slow with his lips and tongue, still not entirely convinced that Steve was ready for another round of admittedly incredible sex. Needy as he was, Steve settled into James’s leisurely pace, carding his fingers through James’s hair, following the movements of his head. Steve’s last orgasm of the day was nearly dry, with Steve falling asleep minutes later. James crawled back up behind him and closed his eyes, happy that Steve was alright and relieved that he had escaped Natasha’s interrogation.

The illusion officially shattered the next morning. 

Steve had awoken with sparkling eyes and a spring in his step, which meant that James was treated to a toe-curling blowjob and one of Steve’s fingers in his ass. James would’ve rolled Steve over and fucked him senseless, but Steve had too much energy and needed to burn it off in the gym. James made a case for Steve burning it off by riding James’s dick, but Steve’s early-morning antsiness chose a two-hour sprint on the treadmill instead. James let him go, deciding to spend his morning in the hot spring. Five minutes after Steve left, Natasha was at the door.

“We need to talk,” Natasha said, brushing past him into the suite.

“How was your night?” James asked, following her into the living room, standing as she sat on the couch.

“Lovely,” Natasha said, crossing her legs. “Had an eucalyptus wrap and had a luxurious sleep in my king-sized bed. Extend my gratitude to your secret benefactor.”

“What do you want, Widow?”

“I think we can dispatch with the codename,” Natasha said. “After all, we did just have sex...again…that you remember.”

“What do you want, Natasha ?” James repeated with equal irritation.

“Like I said, we need to talk about yesterday and the session,” Natasha said. 

“Seems pretty straightforward,” James said. “I wanted to do something nice for Steve. I invited you to the session, you got to fuck your coworker, and everyone enjoyed themselves. What else is there?”

Natasha’s face tightened. “If you really think that, then you’re more foregone than I thought.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” James snapped. He was not about to tolerate her questioning his sanity.

“You’re in love with Steve,” Natasha said, as if it were the most obvious statement ever made. When James didn’t respond, she added, “I figured you would deny it.”

“It doesn’t warrant a response,” James said.

“And why not?” Natasha asked, leaning back against the couch. “I would imagine something that has serious ramifications for everyone would.”

“Serious ramifications?” James scoffed. “What ramifications?”

“You are deeply, passionately in love with Steve Rogers,” Natasha explained. “He’s an Avenger, a superhero, one of the world’s champions. You are one of the world’s greatest assassins who technically doesn’t exist on public record, and a superpowered asset of an organization that spent a century trying to destroy modern civilization.”

“Your point?”

“My point is that your relationship with Steve has implications for both of you, and us, and the world order,” Natasha said. 

“You’re overstating it,” James said, even though he could feel a tingle at the base of his skull buzzing in agreement with her.

“Let’s run a scenario,” Natasha said, leaning on her elbows. “Steve is kidnapped by some rogue asset.”

“Steve wouldn’t get kidnapped that easily,” James said, crossing his arms.

“You stalked him for weeks, and he had no clue,” Natasha said.

“Fuck you,” James spat out, his stern face cracking. 

Unmoved, Natasha continued. “Steve is kidnapped. You use your considerable skill set to go after him and save him. You have no backup, no allies, and there’s no way in hell you will coordinate with the Avengers.”

“Correct.”

“You rescue Steve,” Natasha continued. “Your rescue of him makes international headlines. Journalists all over the world and every form of government on the planet seek answers. The full extent of your existence is exposed. You are either forced into hiding or apprehended. Steve is compromised because he loves you, and because you love him, you violate every peace treaty on the books. Endless scenarios of chaos ensue.”

“How creative,” James mocked.

“You should see me when I’m trying,” Natasha said. “My point still stands.”

“I’m still waiting for you to make your point.”

“You and Steve having deep and mutual romantic feelings make you both vulnerable,” Natasha said. “And there is too much at stake for those vulnerabilities to be exploited in the many, many ways they can be.”

“Your point is contingent on your belief that I’m in love with him,” James said. 

Natasha leered at him. “Don’t insult either of our intelligences. I’m also not blind. I was there yesterday. I know what I saw.”

“You saw good fucking,” James said, the words scraping his throat. “Fine. You saw incredible fucking. It doesn’t have to mean more than that.”

“You would break Steve’s heart if he ever heard you lie like that,” Natasha said, leering at him, the disgust unmistakable in her voice. “I should kick your ass all over this room.”

Not that he thought Natasha would care, but James was disgusted with himself, too. He probably deserved Natasha telling Steve what he had said. Knowing Steve, he would probably insist that she was mistaken or, worse, accuse her of lying to try to turn him against James. James’s brain quickly found itself on the path of one of Natasha’s scenarios. He was on the one where Steve would choose him over his team and put the safety of the world at risk in the event of an alien invasion or a criminal organization wreaking havoc on an unsuspecting city. Perhaps it was presumptuous to assume that Steve would choose him above everything else, but he had seen Steve do far more reckless things, including having sex with him in the first place.

“I can’t love Steve,” James muttered, giving up on his attempt at detachment. “So you can toss out your fears.”

“You can’t love Steve,” Natasha repeated his words. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m not capable of it,” James replied. “It’s not possible for me.”

“You make it sound like it’s a medical condition,” Natasha said, her stare softening, but still skeptical.

“It’s not medical,” James said. “It might as well be.”

Natasha paused in thought, and then said, “Are you talking about HYDRA and what they did to you?”

“Yes.”

“You think they did something to you that makes you unable to love someone,” Natasha said, not trying to hide how absurd she found the idea to be. 

“You make it sound like it’s beyond their capabilities,” James said, turning her own words against her while raising his metal hand and making a fist.

“It’s not,” Natasha admitted. “It just doesn’t make sense. You feel other emotions. I can feel how annoyed you are with me right now. I doubt HYDRA had their scientists digging into your brain to pinpoint whatever brain cells were responsible for romance. They had bigger priorities.”

“I was a priority,” James said. “And any emotion that would interfere with a mission was grounds for elimination. And if they couldn’t eliminate it, they would eliminate me . As you can see, I’m still here.”

“As I said,” Natasha said. “You feel other emotions.”

“Anger isn’t a mission deterrent.”

“Then you must’ve been a terrible asset,” Natasha said. “Because anger is just as dangerous as love is on a mission. It makes you irrational and reckless. It’s why Steve’s capacity for emotion is his greatest weakness and his greatest strength.”

“I didn’t feel when I was with HYDRA,” James said. 

“And you do now, now that you’re free of them,” Natasha said. “You broke through their programming to save Steve. I don’t see how you think that was somehow conditional.”

Natasha’s logic was sound, but he didn’t know if he could accept it. He had already rewritten nearly everything he thought he knew about HYDRA and himself since the helicarrier. He didn’t know how much more his brain could handle.

“And besides that, I’ve seen you express genuine emotion,” Natasha continued. “If you don’t want to call it love, fine. Call it affection. I saw your affection for Steve yesterday. It was intense, more intense than most people see in a lifetime.”

Probably because he and Steve had lived two lifetimes, James thought to himself.

“And I’ve seen it before that,” Natasha said. “ Before. ”

James frowned; she was alluding to the Red Room. “What are you trying to say? That we were in love?”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Natasha said, solemnity slipping into her voice. “Neither of us had the capacity or the freedom to decide that for ourselves. It was the Red Room. We weren’t even supposed to be together. But we cared for each other.”

“How do you know?” James asked. 

“Because you were gentle with me when you didn’t have to be,” Natasha answered. “You made me feel safe when I had no reason to believe I’d ever be. You were unsure of things, but you still felt things.”

“You mean Yasha did?” James asked, deciding to pull the trigger on their past.

“You remember." Natasha was very briefly stunned. 

“Not everything,” James said, shaking his head. “I had a session here that unlocked some memories. One was of Tatiana, and another was of you.”

“I see,” Natasha said. “Is there anything you want to know about your memories? Anything you think I can answer?”

“What did you see in me?” The question popped into James’s head before he even had a chance to think through a list of them. It was self-indulgent, but she was the only person he could ask. He thought, maybe, hers and Steve’s answers might be similar. Or they might be different. Or maybe Yasha was a useless fragment of his identity that offered nothing in the way of understanding who he was.

“I saw someone who didn’t realize they were missing something,” Natasha said after a minute of silence. 

“Missing something…” James said. “My memories?”

“I don’t know,” Natasha said. “And I didn’t ask. It wasn’t my place.”

James thought that was a cop-out, but he didn’t have any room to criticize or judge her.

“Either way,” Natasha started. “I knew you as someone capable of feeling, even when your capacity was limited. So now that you’re not, and considering what I saw yesterday, I don’t believe you when you say you can’t love Steve. If you don’t, it’s because it’s your choice, not because it was taken from you.”

“If that’s the case, maybe I shouldn’t love Steve,” James said. “Maybe loving Steve will hurt him, and maybe I’d rather die than do that. And you pretty much said that my loving him was a cataclysm waiting to happen.”

Natasha shook her head. “Once again, you’re missing my point. I never said you loving Steve was bad.”

“Yes, you did,” James said. “You crafted a whole fantasy in your mind where either Steve, me, or both of us end up at the Hague.”

“I was trying to make you see what loving Steve meant,” Natasha said, rolling her eyes. “You two have been carrying on for months without much thought about what you two being together might mean to the world.”

“I’m not concerned with the world,” James said testily. “I’m concerned about Steve.”

“So you finally get my point,” Natasha said. “If you were just fucking him, as you said so crudely, I wouldn’t care that much. Steve’s a grown man, and he deserves as much sex as his body can stand.”

“At least we can agree on that.”

“When I realized that Steve was in love with you, I was concerned,” Natasha said. “Because it’s Steve. But again, it was manageable. But you loving him back complicates things.”

“So what are you saying?” James asked, preparing himself for the likelihood that she was going to make a demand that he wouldn’t tolerate.

“I’m saying that your days of galavanting all over Europe are over,” Natasha said.

“Fuck you,” James glowered. “Who do you think you are?”

“You and Steve have been hunting HYDRA off the grid for months,” Natasha said. “Apart from the tablet I procured for you and whatever assets you’ve been pilfering from the sites you took, you have no support, no backup, no strategy. Just show up, shoot first, and ask questions never.”

“We’ve been careful,” James said, hating how unconvincing he sounded.

“You’ve been reckless,” Natasha said. “Steve’s been worse, because he’s Steve. And because you’re in love with him, he’s rubbing off on you. You’re both deeply compromised in so many ways, it gives me a migraine.”

“Then do yourself a favor and look the other way.”

“I can’t do that,” Natasha said. “Steve’s my teammate and he’s my friend.”

“And Steve is—”

“Yours,” Natasha interrupted him. “I know. I was there.”

“Are you jealous?” James asked petulantly.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t ask me that,” Natasha said. “Although congratulations on making me want to smack you twice in 30 minutes.”

“So what is it that you want from us?” James asked, exasperated by their back and forth.

“I want you to be sensible,” Natasha said. “I want you to know what you have going on, understand the risks, and adjust accordingly.”

James crossed his arms. “You think I’m bad for him.”

“I think your defensiveness and inability to listen are exhausting,” Natasha sighed. “Fine. You want directives? Here they are. You need to be supervised. No more of this random, ‘pop by a HYDRA site and hope for the best’ bullshit. You need protection and monitoring. You need to coordinate with us. You need approval to take action, and we need documentation of all acquired assets and intelligence.”

Everything Natasha said was in direct opposition to everything James had believed in since HYDRA fell. The last thing he wanted or needed was to be surveilled, especially by people who, unknowingly or not, were cooperating with the institution that had enslaved him for the better part of a century. He had explained to Steve at the beginning of their work together that working with his team was a nonstarter. He already made concessions by engaging Natasha when they needed it. James’s overall position, however, hadn’t changed. He had no intention of involving the rest of them — Sam, the doctor, the thunder god, or the man in the iron suit. 

“No,” James said simply.

“This isn’t a negotiation,” Natasha said.

“I know,” James said. “There’s nothing to negotiate. The answer is no.”

Natasha stood from the couch and stood right in front of James. “Do you understand that you’re screwing everyone, including and especially Steve, by playing this game?” 

“This isn’t a game,” James said, stepping back from her.

“Of course it is,” Natasha retorted. “The only thing separating you two from a bunch of schoolkids is a playground.”

“You’re an asshole,” James spat.

“And Steve playing Bonnie to your Clyde is over,” Natasha said, adding with a sneer, “Or are you too old for the reference?”

James turned around, walked to the door, and opened it. “Get the fuck out.”

Natasha took a deep breath. “Close the damn door. I don’t want to do this. And to answer your assumption, I actually think you’re good for Steve.”

James squinted, trying to figure out what her angle was. He shut the door and sat down at the table, waiting for her to continue.

“Steve trusts you implicitly,” Natasha said. “Whether he should is immaterial. He doesn’t have anyone he trusts like he does you. He doesn’t fully trust Tony. He shouldn’t trust me.” 

“And yet here you are, trying to make decisions on his behalf without him knowing,” James huffed.

“Reason number five why he shouldn’t trust me,” Natasha admitted. “You know what else I saw yesterday?”

“What?”

“You’re his anchor,” Natasha said.

“What?” James wasn’t sure if he had misheard or misunderstood.

Natasha sat down at the table across from James, her face fixed in seriousness, even gravity. “Steve moves at ten miles a minute. He has to, or he thinks he has to. And because he’s always at top speed, he isn’t thinking about the wear and tear of being him.”

“He has the serum,” James said.

“You are nowhere near that obtuse,” Natasha said. “I saw what those kids dying in New York did to him. I thought it was an isolated traumatic event, and I thought bringing him to you would help him recover. I was only partway right.”

James said nothing.

Natasha accepted the silence. “It wasn’t a one-and-done thing for Steve. It’s death by a million cuts at hyperspeed. You clot the wounds.”

“And?”

“I have no problem with him wanting or needing you,” Natasha said. “Nor do I have a problem with the opposite. I do have a problem with you both not taking anything else into account. Steve is too important to be sacrificed at your or anyone else’s altar.”

“I don’t want that,” James said, his lungs tightening. “I never wanted that.”

“And yet, here you are,” Natasha said. “Which, fine. But you bearing the load of Steve Rogers without at least someone in the passenger’s seat isn’t sustainable.”

“Are you in the passenger’s seat in this stupid metaphor?” James asked.

“I could be,” Natasha said. “I specialize in complex problems created by difficult men with undiagnosed mental health issues.”

“Fuck off.”

“As I said, the days of you two going it alone are over.” Natasha put her linked hands on the table. “So either accept the support I’m telling you you’re getting, or I'll elevate the issue.”

“Elevate?” James leaned forward, matching her posture. 

“It’s more of a lateral move,” Natasha said. “I tell Tony about…” She looked James pointedly up and down. “Well, most of it. The incredible sex is irrelevant.”

“And what is he supposed to do?” James scoffed.

“I have no idea. Tony’s a hand grenade who speaks in quips. He’s still less volatile than two horned-up super soldiers who will burn the world down to save each other.”

“So I either deal with you or deal with another insufferable asshole who thinks he knows what’s best for Steve more than a man who’s in his bed every night.”

“Exactly.”

“You have some nerve,” James said.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Says the man who made Steve strip naked under the threat of harm, and then fucked him…hmmm…three times in Budapest?” 

James’s eyes narrowed. “You miscounted. It was four. Did you bug his clothes or something?”

“Cameras in his hotel room,” Natasha replied.

“You’re unbelievable,” James muttered.

“We have the same goal, James,” Natasha said. “We want to protect Steve. And we’re both willing to do the worst things to make that happen. Instead of fighting me, we should be working together. Anything else is a waste of time and resources.”

“Am I allowed to consider your offer?” James asked. “Or is there some arbitrary deadline that I need to keep in mind?”

“I told you it wasn’t negotiable,” Natasha said. 

“Yeah, but I don’t answer to you, do I?” James sniped. “And unlike you, I don’t decide things for Steve without him.”

“I’ll let you have that lie,” Natasha said, leaning back in the chair. “Fine. Take your time. Consider your options. There aren’t many, so it should be a straightforward decision. Tell Steve, or don’t. But I do expect an answer soon.”

Natasha stood from the table and walked to the door. She grabbed the doorknob but turned her head back to James. “Thanks for yesterday. And take care of yourself. And Steve.”

Natasha left the suite, and James’s head started pounding, like something was either stretching or splitting his brain in half. He could feel the Soldier standing at attention in the back of the furthest hallway in his mind. James blocked him out and leaned his head into his hands, waiting for his body’s equilibrium to restore itself. 

If James put aside his out-of-step emotions, there was nothing Natasha said that he could honestly object to. He and Steve were liabilities to each other, they would do anything for each other, and Steve did have other parties to answer to, including the so-called world order. Even if James couldn’t reconcile his capacity to love Steve, he could believe in the consequences of loving him. 

James couldn’t see working with Steve’s team. He operated with cold efficiency, and from what he could gather, they were a well-meaning battering ram. It was only a matter of time before they angered the wrong person or destroyed the wrong city trying to help before the world reined them in. He refused to be reined in by anyone, not again. He also refused to give Steve up. Whatever label could be put on their relationship, James wasn’t being hyperbolic yesterday when he said that Steve was his, and he was Steve’s. It took him months, but he understood what “end of the line” meant, and he wouldn’t let anyone — not the government nor a bunch of costumed heroes — take it from him. He fought for it, he fucked for it, and it belonged to him and Steve. 

Unfortunately, those two realities were in direct opposition, and James couldn’t find a way forward. He had bought time from Natasha, but he knew that he and Steve would need to proffer an answer sooner or later, most likely sooner. It was either that or chaos. James was tired of chaos. 

James sat in silence for another 20 minutes, trying to keep his mind blank, when the door opened. Steve stepped through, sweatier than usual, and quickly closed the door behind him. It was a strange action on his part, as if he were hiding something. James didn’t have the headspace for any more surprises. 

“Hey, Buck!” Steve said, with a slight squeak in his words that made all of James’s red flags go up at the same damn time. 

“What did you do?” James asked, his eyes looking Steve up and down, his suspicions growing as he took in the nervous energy that might’ve been read as post-workout endorphins if James hadn’t known Steve better. 

“I didn’t do anything,” Steve said, leaning against the door and crossing his arms. “But…we have guests.”

“Can you two bellends open the damn door? We have things to do!”

The muffled voice of Victor Schallenberg on the other side of the door made James’s eyes roll so far back into his skull that he thought he might rip his optic nerves. Because, of course, his day could somehow get more ridiculous. Of course, Victor and Katerina were overdue to intrude on him and Steve and, more than likely, collect on their investment in the spa visit. 

“We could just…not?” Steve offered, shuffling to the table, looking sheepishly at James. 

“How?” James muttered. 

“I was on my way to the gym and…” Steve started and then exhaled in defeat. “I saw them in the lobby and they saw me and… it kind of snowballed from there?”

“Did you avoid them or did you greet them?” James asked.

“Tried the former, fell in the trap of the latter,” Steve replied. 

“I fucking hate you.”

“Victor and I did have a great sparring session at the gym,” Steve said. “He’s got a mean left hook.”

“And did you blow him in the locker room?” James asked.

No!” Steve gasped and then sighed again in defeat. “I mean…he felt me up a little bit after we finished, but it was nothing untoward.”

“Slut,” James mumbled.

“We don’t have to let them in,” Steve said. “I can get rid of him.”

“You killed that possibility the minute you let him play with your tits,” James said, rolling his eyes.

“It was actually my butt,” Steve said, blushing.

James hung and shook his head. “‘Course it was. Let that bastard in so you can pay the tab and we can leave.”

“Shut up,” Steve said, turning around and opening the door, revealing Victor leaning against the doorframe in a sleeveless grey t-shirt and black compression shorts. 

“You realize I could hear everything you said,” Victor said with his trademark posh drawl, tapping his ear.

“I’m aware,” James said. “Is it the serum or is it your other powers? Do you even know how to use them?”

James was suddenly struck hard on the side of his head with the red ruby book. He jumped to his feet and looked down at the book on the floor, and then to Victor, whose left fist was raised in the air with his forefinger pointed upward. James looked at Steve, who looked much less surprised than he felt. 

“I told you he had a mean left hook,” Steve said, crossing his arms. 

“My right one is meaner,” Victor said, clenching his right fist at his side. “ That was for calling me a slut.”

“You are,” James said, picking up the book and tossing it on the table. “And apparently you’re psychic too or something?”

“Among other things,” Victor said. “You should see me in the air.”

James looked confused. “So when you’re not feeling up Steve…?”

“I can multitask,” Victor said. “In fact, I could strip Steve naked right here and now with this finger. I could probably make him come too without touching him, but I haven’t tested that yet. Captain?”

“Please don’t,” Steve sighed. 

Victor playfully frowned. “Pity. So, are we heading to my private steam room or what?”

Unsurprisingly, Victor was underselling it. The Schallenbergs had an entire floor of the Crystal Alcove’s east wing to themselves, including a private staff, two private hot springs, and a sauna that made the one in the gym look like a slum. Waiting for them in the sauna was Katerina, lying on her back on the lower marble bench, wrapped in a plush white towel, her left leg bent at the knee on the bench, and her right leg hanging to the floor. She smiled and turned her head to see Victor, James, and Steve, dressed in their own white towels, which had been gifted to them by a staff member after they showered upon entering the suite.

“I have been waiting forever,” Katerina said, turning her head back to the ceiling, sighing in irritation. 

“Darling, you know we had to procure Buck,” Victor said, walking over to his wife, kneeling, and pecking her on the lips.

“So it’s his fault.” Katerina turned her head to James. “Lovely to see you, as always, even when you are late.”

“I was preoccupied,” James said, trying not to think about Natasha.

James climbed onto the high bench on the wall next to where Victor and Katerina were. Steve sat down underneath him on the lower bench, leaning back between James’s spread legs. James couldn’t help but look down at Steve’s body below him, enjoying the post-workout supple fullness of his muscular torso.

With Victor sitting above her on the upper bunch, Katerina, rubbing her husband’s calf, asked James and Steve, “Have you been enjoying your stay at the Alcove?”

Knowing it was a loaded question for James, Steve quickly and graciously answered, “It’s been quite the experience. We really appreciate the opportunity, Kat.”

James rolled his eyes because, of course, Steve would use the nickname he gave her. 

“I am delighted,” Katerina said with a warm smile. “Would you be surprised if I told you that my family owns the property?”

“Of course they do,” James muttered, making Steve smack his foot. 

“My uncle owns it,” Katerina explained. “And because I am his favorite niece, he allows me free rein of the property. And I am allowed to, what is that expression, darling?”

“Comp their stay,” Victor answered. 

“Yes!” Katerina said. “That is why you are both here.”

“Well, again, we appreciate it,” Steve said.

“And from my understanding, you have been participating in some of the extracurricular activities as well?” Katerina said with a naughty smile. 

“I…” Steve blushed. “I…um…thought that participation was private?”

“My family owns the hotel,” Katerina said, fixing Steve with a condescending look. 

“Fair point,” Steve said. 

“I am glad that you have been participating,” Katerina said. “I had a suspicion that it would be good for you, to bring you closer to each other. It did the same for me and Victor, right, sweetheart?”

“Right you are,” Victor said, looking at James. “You two do seem more…in sync.”

“Really?” Steve said, his smile widening. 

“Really,” Victor replied. “You at least softened his scowl into something more neutral.”

“Oh, get fucked,” James groaned, and Steve smacked his foot again. 

“Speaking of fucking,” Katerina said, sitting up between Victor’s legs. 

“And there we are,” James said, chuckling. “I was wondering when you would skip the preamble.”

“Buck!”

“He is right,” Katerina said. “I did have an ulterior motive for bringing you both here. I figured we deserved an encore of our first meeting. We had fun, did we not?”

“We did…” Steve said tentatively, looking up at James’s straight face. 

“And since you had ‘quite the experience’ while you’ve been here that you didn’t have to pay for,” Katerina reasoned. “I figured you would be amenable to one more extracurricular activity.”

“Why do I get the sense that you’ve done this before?” James asked. 

“We have,” Victor said, looking down at Katerina. “Remember that blonde, darling? Tatiana something or other?”

“You mean the woman whose legs you spent 20 minutes in between in front of me?” Katerina scoffed. “She was fat.”

“She was not,” Victor said. “And besides, you got me back by spending 40 minutes on top of Darius.”

“Darius?” Steve asked. “You know Darius?”

“My family owns the property,” Katerina repeated for the third time, looking increasingly annoyed. “He is a favorite of ours.”

“Yours,” Victor corrected, rubbing his foot on Katerina’s thigh.

“Really?” Katerina tilted her head back to look at Victor. “How many times did he make you come?”

“Twice,” Victor answered, and he looked at Steve's dumbstruck face and smirked. “He’s got a great dick.”

“He wouldn’t know,” James said, patting Steve’s shoulder. “He was the one doing the fucking.”

“Buck!” Steve shouted. 

“So…” Victor leaned back, his eyes growing more predatory as they stared at Steve, specifically his chest. “You’ve been gaining some more experience.”

“I guess you could say that,” Steve said, looking away. 

“So you fucked Darius and, what, Buck watched?” Katerina asked, hitching her eyebrow in amusement.

“I mean…”

“I fucked him while he fucked Darius,” James butted in, running his hand up into Steve’s hair. “Made him come inside your favorite.”

“Lucky you,” Victor quipped. 

“Jesus Christ,” Steve mumbled, shaking his head.

“So, can we get started?” Katerina asked. “I’ve waited long enough.”

“What exactly do you have in mind?” James asked wearily. 

“Something different,” Katerina offered. “I propose…hmmm, darling, what is that God awful reality program we watched that one time? The one where the husbands switch their wives?”

“Wife Swap, dear,” Victor said.

“Yes!” Katerina exclaimed, clapping her hands. “I propose a wife swap!”

Steve still looked dumbstruck. “What?”

“We switch partners,” James explained as he stroked the back of Steve’s head. “I would be with Victor, and you would be with Katerina.”

“Your pairings are incorrect,” Katerina said. “I want you, Buck. Victor wants him.”

It was James’s turn to be dumbstruck. “Wait, why?”

“I have not had you yet,” Katerina said as he undid her towel and let it fall onto the bench. “And you were so rude in stopping Victor from taking your lover the last time you all saw each other. This is his treat.”

“Thanks, darling,” Victor added, brushing her hair off her shoulders. 

“What the fuck is she talking about?” James asked Victor.

“Oh, yes, I know everything,” Katerina said, sighing in what sounded like relief. “I know you called Victor over and had him suck Steve’s dick, but would not give him Steve’s ass.”

James tilted his head, hoping Katerina misspoke. “Steve?”

“As I said, I know everything,” Katerina said. “I apologize, Captain Rogers, but the aliases are quite tiresome.”

“I…” Steve looked up at James, neither knowing what to make of Katerina’s confession. Looking back at her, he asked, “How long have you known?”

“Since I learned that my husband can fly and shoot energy beams with his eyes,” Katerina answered. “I do appreciate you both getting the files from Salzburg for us.”

“You son of a bitch,” James snarled at Victor, who was unperturbed as usual.

“You came into our home under false pretenses,” Katerina said. “The righteous indignation is unfounded.” 

“Katerina…” Steve said softly. “It was wrong to deceive—“

“There is no need to apologize,” Katerina interrupted. “You are not the first person to try to exploit my connection to HYDRA. You are the first I have taken into my bed, though. Wait…” She looked up at Victor. “The Finnish diplomat…did I—”

“No, I killed him,” Victor said. 

“Of course you did,” Katerina said, nodding. “So yes, you are not the first, nor will you be the last, to pursue me to get to HYDRA. The difference is your efforts weakened that scourge of humanity, and for that, I am grateful.”

“Wow,” Steve said.

“You can regard the spa weekend as a token of my appreciation,” Katerina said. “And you can regard the incredible sex we are about to have as a minor concession for your deception. Does that work for both of you?”

“And how can we trust that this appreciation of yours will last?” James asked. He had already dealt with the fragility of their position today and wasn’t interested in another fraught negotiation.

“I know that you are the Winter Soldier and your lover is Captain America, while you know my husband is also a Winter Soldier who possesses mystical powers that, from our experiments to date, make him a risk that would require government intervention.”

“In other words, mutually assured destruction,” Victor said.

“You and your Cold War obsession,” Katerina said, reaching for and cupping her left breast. “But he is right. We are on the same side. As long as neither side steps out of bounds, I believe we can peacefully co-exist. And have sex whenever we like.”

“And there it is,” James huffed, although his eyes did watch Katerina touch herself. 

“Bucky,” Steve sighed, squeezing James’s leg next to him. “Play nice.”

“Yeah, Buck, play nice,” Victor said, sliding off the bench onto his feet. He strided over to stand in front of Steve, looking down at him. “Or you can glower all morning while I finally get my fill of Captain America.”

“I believe he would be getting his fill of you,” Katerina quipped, uncrossing her legs. 

“True,” Victor said, smiling wolfishly down at Steve. “Because I intend to get as deep inside your perfect ass as possible.”

“Uh…” Steve’s face got hotter, trying to find somewhere to look that wasn’t the middle of Victor’s thickly muscled torso. 

“Careful, Victor,” James said, leering at him.

“What?” Victor asked. “You’ve been dangling Steve in front of me like a carrot for months. It’s not my fault that I’m finally ready for my bite.”

“It’s alright, Buck,” Steve said as he stood in front of Victor, fixing him with a thoughtful look. “You’re right. He did interrupt us, didn't he? It’s only fair that I…” He looked over his shoulder, catching a sliver of James’s eye. “...what did you say, Buck, pay my tab?”

“You’re such a fucking punk,” James grumbled, although his grin undercut his gruff tone. “Giving it up to Victor so easily. Where’s your shame?”

Steve smirked. “You fucked it out of me, I guess.”

“Well, in that case…” James leaned forward and snatched Steve’s towel off from behind, baring his muscular ass. “Pay your debt, Stevie.”

“Yeah, I’m never getting tired of this view,” Victor said, his eyes sliding slowly down Steve’s front and stopping at his dick. “And you’re not even hard yet. I’ll take care of that.”

“Um…before we get started…” Steve looked down at Victor’s towel-clad crotch. “Bucky and I had a pretty wild day yesterday, so I think I’ll need you to go easy on me.”

“Hmmm…” Victor pondered the request. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Victor took hold of Steve’s lean waist and yanked their bodies together, kissing him hard. He didn’t give Steve time to be stunned, shoving his tongue deep into Steve’s mouth while his hands roamed hungrily over Steve’s torso. He reached lower and grabbed a handful of Steve’s ass cheek, his finger pressing into the firm flesh. Victor had the nerve to pull on Steve’s cheek, exposing his twitching hole as they kissed. It took him a minute, but Steve responded to Victor, pulling himself closer by wrapping an arm across Victor’s broad back and clutching his shoulder blade. He used his strength to turn Victor slightly to the left, giving James a view of his dick as it thickened against Victor’s towel. Steve moaned when Victor pulled hard on his ass, making the head of his dick rub on the towel. He undid the knot of the towel at Victor’s hip, dropping it to the floor. Victor seemed to appreciate the effort, as he pulled Steve tighter, this time making Steve’s dick rub against the stretch of his thick thigh. 

Before James could think about bum-rushing Victor for his excessive force on Steve, he heard Katerina say, “I do not like being ignored, Buck. Come here.”

James looked at Katerina, not surprised to see that she had her hand between her legs as she watched Victor and Steve make out. He climbed off the bench and sat next to her, looking down at her slightly damp fingers stroking her outer folds. Her moans were as soft as her fingers, making for an undeniably hot display that made his dick at least a bit thicker under his towel.

“Steve is in capable hands,” Katerina said, turning her face to James. “Are yours as capable?”

James smirked. “They are.”

“Then prove it.”

James pressed his metal hand to Katerina’s shoulder, lowering onto the bench on her back. He leaned over and kissed her, matching her husband’s forcefulness with the demanding press of his lips. Katerina responded in kind, pushing her mouth up against his and parting his lips with her tongue, all while shifting her legs around so they could surround his waist. James let her pull him in, moving on top of her and bracing his elbows on both sides of her head. She squeezed her thighs tighter around his hips and took advantage of his moan into her mouth to lick inside it. It was a dirty trick, but he let her have it for a moment before he pulled away and sucked down to her chest.

As he pulled her nipple into his mouth, James looked to the left and saw that Victor had Steve lying on the bench, too. He was sucking his way down Steve’s torso, scraping over Steve’s nipple with his teeth and leaving faint marks over the tensing muscles of his abdomen. Steve’s hands followed Victor, entangled in the loose curls at the back of his head as he moved lower. Victor stopped at Steve’s left hip and turned to lock eyes with James. Victor winked and ran his tongue down and then back up the hollow of Steve’s hip, nipping the thin skin stretched over the bone. Steve was especially sensitive there, and when he yelped in surprise, Victor sucked over the thin mark he left, making a pink splotch bloom from it.

“Fuck,” Steve moaned, twisting his hip towards Victor’s mouth and accidentally bumping his erection into Victor’s chest.

To keep himself from spiraling into jealousy, James refocused on Katerina, whose eyes were closed, clearly enjoying James’s wet mouth on her breast. He shifted to her right breast and sucked on her nipple, making it pebble quickly, while he squeezed her left breast in his right hand. Katerina’s moans were soft and bright, and her hips pushed and rolled into him, stroking herself against his towel. James moved his hand off her breast to hold her hip down.

“Touch me,” Katerina said, moving James’s hand on her hip between her legs. 

James pulled his hand away, making Katerina scowl, only to put two fingers into his mouth to wet them. He lowered his hand back between her legs and outlined her outer folds with his wet fingers. Her eyes lit up at his soft touch, and he kept stroking them, barely dipping between them to tease some wetness out of her. James kissed her again at the same time that he pressed his middle finger inside her, swallowing her delighted gasp. He steadily pumped his finger into her, stroking along the top of her walls. 

“You like that?” James asked against Katerina’s mouth, thrusting his finger especially deep. “Tell me.”

“Incredible…” Katerina’s eyes were dark and hungry, her hips pitching up to work against James’s finger.

“You think he likes seeing you like this?”

James turned his head and saw that Victor’s mouth was more than halfway down Steve’s dick. Steve was arching off the bench, and his fingers were clutching the back of Victor’s head even tighter than before. He looked like he was in control, which was more than enough to make James’s skin hot. Steve lifted his hips into Victor’s face, looking like he was about to start fucking his mouth. To James’s annoyance, Victor grabbed Steve’s right cheek, squeezing its luscious curve to keep Steve still while he sucked on the shaft. The impatient punk that he was, Steve circled his hips against Victor’s grip, making his shapely muscles pop out even more and encouraging Victor to dig deeper into the thick meat of his ass.

He hadn't meant it to be a race, but James demanded retribution for Victor interceding on Steve’s bid for dominance and taking liberties with Steve’s ass. He quickly shoved himself down Katerina’s body, pausing his thrusting finger so he could pull her legs over his shoulders. James returned with two fingers, slowly pumping them inside her, stretching her walls. Katerina’s loud moan was lovely, but James needed more from her to get Victor’s attention. After a few more thrusts, her walls fluttering comfortably around his fingers, James wrapped his lips around her clit.

“Yes!” Katerina cried, lifting her hips and pressing into James’s mouth. “Oh my God!”

Katerina’s noises caught Victor’s attention, his head turning, but his mouth still on Steve’s dick. His eyes narrowed as he watched Katerina grind into James’s face while James stroked his fingers in and out of her. James didn’t try to look gracious; he was practically haughty, especially seeing the cracking of Victor’s cocky demeanor. It motivated James to go further. He made a long, wet stripe down the center of her sex with the flat of his tongue, and slipped it in to lick along her inner folds, feeling her dampen his thrusting fingers with his lips. He was so attuned to Katerina’s quivering mound and Victor’s burning stare at him that he didn’t mind her pressing his head in between her legs, seeking more of his nimble mouth.

James’s victory was short-lived. Victor’s eyes gleamed as the hand cradling Steve’s cheek slipped into his crack and began rubbing his hole. Steve gasped as Victor fondled his furled rim, smarting slightly from the pressure after what had been done to it.

“Hey!” James lifted his head off Katerina and barked at Victor. “What did Steve say? Ease up!”

“Buck…I’m alright,” Steve moaned, turning his head to James, showing his flushed face. “It feels…feels really good…”

“See?” Victor said, popping his head off Steve’s dick and licking up an errant string of saliva that slid down the bottom of Steve’s shaft. “He’s fine.”

“Victor…” James growled.

“In fact, I can make him more than fine.” Victor tapped on Steve’s stomach, making him look down at him. “Wanna see, and feel, a cool trick?”

“Ummm…” Steve looked nervous but curious. “Okay…?”

Victor lifted his hand off Steve’s abdomen and tilted it straight. The palm of his hand started glowing, and James swore that the glow was a blend of red, white, and blue, although it was possible that he was hallucinating the whole thing. James and Steve’s eyes followed Victor’s hand as it hovered over Steve’s left pec. He lowered his hand an inch, and Steve cried out as the glowing light blanketed his muscle. James nearly jumped off the bench, but Katerina pressed her legs down on his shoulders, keeping him between her thighs.

“Just watch,” Katerina said.

Tiny goosebumps raised over Steve’s golden smooth skin, tinted in that blended color, and his nipple hardened into a sharp nub. Steve was panting under Victor’s glowing hand, but he tried to keep his breaths short so that he didn’t bump his chest into Victor’s palm. Victor moved his hand to Steve’s right pec, leaving a warm glowing trail over Steve’s skin, and hovered over it in a circle this time, covering more of Steve’s wide muscle. 

“Oh my God…” Steve shuddered, his chest flexing and stretching under the glow. “What…what is this…?”

“Don’t have a name for it yet,” Victor said before lightly sucking on Steve’s inner thigh. “But it’s pure energy, filtered down for the sake of not blowing your body to pieces. Feels amazing, doesn’t it?”

“We have experimented with it, and it feels extraordinary,” Katerina said, tapping James’s shoulder with her heel. 

“And Steve here is a supersoldier, so I could probably dial up the energy and really—”

“No!” Steve cut Victor off with a strangled shout, his head falling back on the bench. “I couldn’t…goddamn it…I’d come…”

“Your lack of adventure is so disappointing,” Victor sighed.

He closed his mouth around the head of Steve’s dick again and suckled on it while he started pressing against Steve’s hole again. The light from Victor’s palm dimmed halfway, and he pressed his hand down onto Steve’s pec. Pulses of light spread over the full expanse of Steve’s chest, and Steve stretched his body into it. It looked like Victor was massaging the light into Steve’s skin as he groped his pec and pushed at his nipple with his thumb, making Steve gasp against the marble bench and stare at James with hooded, pleasure-drunk eyes.

“You have looked your fill,” Katerina snapped, tilting James’s head from Steve to her. “You are not finished with me yet.”

James dutifully returned his mouth to Katerina’s sex, licking at her folds and tasting her dripping wetness. He curled his fingers up inside her and stroked over her spot, making her whine and squeeze his head with her thighs. He picked up the pace of his fingers and tongue, lapping along the full length of her folds and making her moan brightly in rapidly growing excitement. He looked up at her; her eyes closed as she squeezed her breasts, already lost in pleasure after scolding him. Not that he cared much about Katerina’s moods, but he did feel a hint of pride from knowing that he could outperform them. 

He decided to take it a step further. James laid his metal arm on Katerina’s stomach and curled his hand down to her pelvis. He circled his thumb into her skin, inching lower until he was brushing the top of her clit. He covered the nub with his thumb and pushed on it, while pressing his two fingers into the spot along the top of her walls. Katerina cried out and came, squeezing her walls tight around James’s fingers. James eased her through her orgasm, stroking his lips over her outer folds. He also looked over at Victor and Steve, wanting to see if Victor had seen his wife come on his mouth. 

It didn’t seem like he had, because Victor was fully immersed in drowning Steve in pleasure with his mouth and hands. His lips grazed the base of Steve’s dick as his mouth worked up and down the long shaft. He had two fingers stretching Steve’s hole open, with Steve rocking his ass into the deep, forceful thrusts. Victor still had his glowing hand massaging Steve’s chest, sending those pulses of energy all over his torso, adding a rich luster to his skin. Steve squirmed and whined under Victor’s efforts, beautifully helpless as Victor took him apart.

“You love him like this, don’t you?” Katerina moaned at James, lifting onto her elbows and staring at her husband toying with Steve. “Look at him, so needy, so vulnerable.”

James did, nodding as Steve’s undulating hips entranced him, making him want to trace the deep curve made by Steve’s tiny waist and sculpted ass.

“Look at him performing for you.” Katerina shifted back and sat up straight. When James sat up, too, his eyes still on Victor and Steve, she pressed her body into his side, reaching for and undoing his towel. “He’s shameless.”

James turned to her. “What the hell—”

Katerina’s hand wrapped around James’s thick erection, shutting him up with an unexpected moan. “You two and your overreactions over simple observations. Look at your love. Do you honestly expect me to believe that he is not enjoying what he is doing for you?”

Of course, James knew that about Steve. He just wasn’t sure how he felt about someone else discovering it, especially someone who also recently discovered Steve’s real identity. 

“Even with Victor’s abilities enhancing his pleasure, it is all for your benefit, is it not?” Katerina said low in James’s ear while she stroked him. “He wants you to see what his body can do for you, with you. His arousal is yours.”

Victor pulled his mouth off Steve’s dick and looked over at James and Katerina. He gave James a knowing, challenging smirk that pretty much confirmed everything Katerina had said. He turned back to Steve and dragged his fingers out of Steve’s ass, making his hole spasm from the slow exit. As Steve huffed hard, James grabbed Steve’s thick thighs and pushed them back, nearly folding him in half. Steve looked down between his thighs at Victor, his face almost red from how exposed he was, from his tightly drawn balls and the firm bulge of his perineum to his spread cheeks and clenched rim. 

“Hold on,” Victor said, tapping the backs of Steve’s thighs. 

Steve held his thighs back, lifting his ass even higher for Victor and looking utterly embarrassed by the position. Luckily for Steve, Victor wasted no time pushing his mouth into Steve’s hole. Steve nearly slammed his head into the bench when Victor’s tongue slipped into his hole and licked inside the rim. He gasped at Victor spitting on his hole and spreading the saliva all over the inside of his crack. When Victor pulled up and away, Steve’s ass was a wet, debauched mess, his hole clenching in time with his breath-heavy moans and as deep pink as his overheated face. Victor pressed a finger back inside Steve’s hole and quickly fucked it in and out of him, just to show off how loose and slick he had made Steve. Steve could only watch and try not to pass out from the humiliation.

“Look what he did to him,” Katerina exhaled against James’s ear, tightening her fist at the feel of his shaft throbbing at the sight in front of them. “So soft, so open. He is going to treat your Captain so well for you.”

Suddenly, Victor pulled his finger out of Steve and stood over him. “I am going to treat you well, very well, but I need you to do something for me first.”

“What…?” Steve asked, his voice still shaky. 

“Suck me off,” Victor said plainly. “Get me ready for your tight ass.”

James felt Katerina’s other hand squeeze his thigh, which made him realize that he had lifted a couple of inches off the bench, preparing to pounce on Victor. He sat back down, and Katerina stood up as well. She pushed James onto his back, his head aligned with where Victor stood, and climbed on top of him. 

“If I understand your supersoldier physiology correctly, I should be able to make you come, and you will still be aroused, yes?” Katerina asked.

James nodded, his sudden flare of anger at Victor dissipating as Katerina slinked her way down his body to float her head about his erection.

“Good,” Katerina said as she lowered her head. “Enjoy the show they put on for you.”

James let out a long, low moan as Katerina started sucking on his dick, and he leaned back to see Victor climb on top of Steve’s chest. Both he and Steve looked over Victor’s imposing form, surpassing them both in sheer size, the larger, densely-packed muscles of his torso lightly covered in dark hair. Steve couldn’t see, but James’s eyes followed the deep bend of Victor’s spine to his ass, just as shapely as Steve’s ass but bulkier, sitting heavy on Steve’s broad chest. Victor’s huge dick jutted out from his crotch and rested at the bottom of Steve’s chin, waiting impatiently for him to get started.

“You remember how I sucked you off?” Victor said, reaching down and parting Steve’s lips with his mouth. Steve nodded, and he grinned widely. “Do exactly that, but more spit. I like it wet, and your ass will appreciate it.”

Steve barely had his mouth widened for a second before Victor pressed the head of his dick inside. It looked like Victor was going to use Steve’s mouth as a tight, wet sleeve for his dick, but Steve gripped Victor’s hips hard, his biceps flexing to hold Victor still. Victor could’ve overpowered him, but he let Steve stop him, waiting to see what Steve would do. With a glint in his eye, Steve worked his mouth over Victor’s dick, stretching his lips to fit snugly around its girth. As Victor requested, Steve dampened his shaft with saliva, sucking some of it back into his mouth and letting the rest drip out onto his neck. Victor enjoyed the mess, moaning deeply and pressing his thick ass harder onto Steve to ground himself. 

James had been so caught up in watching Steve blow Victor that he hadn’t expected the sudden burst of pleasure across his lower body. He looked down and saw Katerina quickly and tightly jerking his shaft while sucking over his slit. He felt another wave of pleasure crest over him, knocking his head back. When he turned his head, he saw that Steve’s hands had moved from Victor’s hips to his hairy pecs, squeezing them hard. Steve was being surprisingly rough, but Victor was getting off on it, his head hung low, watching Steve paw at him, grunting through each grope. Seeing Steve that raw, and Victor that overcome, nearly pushed James over the edge. His tip throbbed, and he looked down again to see Katerina flick the tip of her tongue inside his slit.

James shouted and came, shooting cum up into Katerina’s mouth. She lapped up every drop he leaked out and pumped his shaft with her fist to make sure she got the rest of it. After one last throb of his dick, James dropped his head onto the bench, panting through the last of his orgasm. He turned his head and saw that Victor had climbed off Steve, his dick wet with spit rather than cum. Victor caught James’s confused stare and playfully shrugged his eyebrows.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I do not want my first time coming in Captain America to be in his mouth,” Victor said snidely. “Didn’t I say I was going to fill him until he was leaking?”

“You fucking whore,” James muttered.

“You can call me any name in the book,” Victor laughed. “But I’m still getting in America’s Ass.”

“America’s what?” Steve asked, sitting up, wiping at his lips and rubbing at his chest where Victor had sat on it. 

“America’s Ass,” Victor repeated. “I’m surprised that your president hasn’t built a monument to it.”

Katerina walked over to the other side of the bench, reaching inside her bag and grabbing some condoms. She returned and straddled James’s thighs, silently ripping open a condom and rolling it onto his erection with some extra, indulgent strokes. James was still a bit sensitive from his orgasm, but he was ready for whatever Katerina had planned. Across from them, Steve was still on his back, and Victor was on his knees between Steve’s spread thighs. James assumed that Victor would lean over Steve to fuck him, but Victor pulled Steve on top of him instead. Steve struggled to fit against Victor’s beefy torso, so Victor did it for him. He grabbed Steve’s thighs and pulled them tightly around his waist, the stretch making Steve grunt softly. Steve braced his hands on Victor’s broad shoulders, while Victor massaged his way back to Steve’s ass and spread him open, sliding his dick over Steve’s hole.

“Don’t worry, Steve,” Victor said, grinning. “I’ll take it easy on you…at first. Work you up to it. But then…I’m going to plow you open and make you come so fucking hard on my cock that you’ll forget that you're Captain America.”

“He’d never forget that,” James said, his eyes narrowing at Victor.

“He’s never been fucked by me,” Victor quipped, shooting a glance at James. “Or anyone else besides you, for that matter.”

“Actually…” Steve tapped Victor’s shoulder. “That’s technically not true anymore.”

Victor’s face twisted. “What are you talking about?” He turned his head back to James. “You let another man fuck Steve’s ass before me? Was it Darius, that bastard?”

“It wasn’t a man,” Steve said. “It was a woman, a friend. She used…” He turned to James. “A strap, right?”

“A strap-on,” James corrected.

“You let a woman peg you?” Victor asked, shaking his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe a woman got to fuck America’s Ass before I did. I feel like that’s worse.”

“Can you not call it that?” Steve asked. “My ass does not belong to America.”

“It belongs to me,” James said, snickering when Steve turned to him with an irritated look. “And since I’m loaning it to you, can you get on with it already? Your wife and I are bored.”

“He is right,” Katerina said. “I could have been on my second orgasm already.”

“Apologies, darling,” Victor said, blowing a kiss to Katerina before refocusing on Steve. “Ready, Captain?”

“I…um…think…” Steve stammered as Victor pressed the head of his dick against his hole.

“Good enough for me.”

Victor lifted Steve’s hips and pressed his ass down on his dick. Steve gasped as his hole spread open on the head and his walls stretched around Victor’s shaft. Victor filled Steve to the brim, the wide base of his dick touching his hole. Steve fell forward onto Victor, hanging his arms over Victor’s shoulders and groaning as he tried to adjust to Victor’s full size inside him. Victor slipped his fingers into Steve’s crack and rubbed his fingers along the stretched rim, making Steve tremble on top of him. He then brought his hands back to Steve’s ass and firmly gripped his spread cheeks. Victor rocked Steve on his dick in short, slow motions, keeping most of his shaft stuffed in Steve’s ass to loosen him up more. It helped, with Steve’s sharp muscles softening, the strained noises from his throat melting into soft moans, and his hole quivering around Victor’s dick.

“Fuck,” Victor groaned as he pumped Steve’s ass on top of him. “You’re so fucking tight. I thought your partner was taking care of your ass?”

“Go to fucking—”

James’s insult was interrupted by Katerina holding his dick and lowering herself onto it. She sat fully on his hips and gasped, molding her walls to his length. Her taut warmth quickly overwhelmed him, and he grabbed her slim waist to hold her steady for a moment so he could sink into the incredible feeling. It was so good that James briefly forgot his strength, gentling his hold as soon as it came back to him.

“I can take it,” Katerina said as she placed her hands on top of James’s and directed him to hold her tighter. “I am the wife of a supersoldier, after all.”

With a teasing grin at James’s astounded look, Katerina leaned back and braced her hands on his thighs. She pumped her hips over him, moaning as she fucked herself hard on his dick. James felt dizzy, but he grasped enough focus to look down and see Katerina’s folds spreading open around his shaft, his thick flesh stretching her walls like Victor was stretching Steve’s hole. James reached for the join of their bodies with his metal hand, ghosting his forefinger and thumb across both of them. He was extra-light brushing his thumb over her clit, but it made little difference, as the chilled chrome digit made her cry out loud enough for both Victor and Steve to turn to them.

“Don’t stop!” Katerina exclaimed, bouncing harder on James’s dick. 

James did stop, but only to collect a couple of drops of her slick running down his shaft. He returned his thumb to her clit and rubbed it, wetter and more deliberate than before. James felt a burst of thrill at seeing Victor leer slightly at him and Katerina, as he finally got a taste of his own medicine. Their display seemed to spur Victor on, as he squeezed Steve’s firm ass cheeks harder, making Steve gasp.

“You’re really gonna let your Buck and my Kat show us up?” Victor asked through his heavy breaths.

Steve looked back over at James and locked eyes with him, his face getting hotter. “No, I don’t think we should.” He turned back to Victor. “What do you have in mind?”

“Ride the fuck out of me, to start,” Victor said.

“I can do that,” Steve said, smirking at Victor and then at James. “Just back me up?”

Victor chuckled. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

Steve straightened his body on top of Victor and grabbed his shoulders. He steadily raised and dropped his hips, dragging his ass up and down Victor’s dick. Steve’s movements were smooth and easy, the flexing muscles of his back, thighs, and ass working beautifully together. Victor had shifted from gripping Steve’s cheeks to just holding them, letting Steve set the pace and force of their flesh slapping into each other. What Victor did was spread Steve’s ass wider, showing off Steve’s hole rolling up and down his shaft. Riding Victor made Steve’s moans sharp and bright, and his blush spread down his chest, nearly reaching his nipples.

“Oh, fuck!” Steve gasped, squeezing James’s shoulders and tilting his hips down. “You’re right there, damn. God, that’s deep.”

“Yeah?” Victor asked. “I’m right there? Bet I’m pushing right into it, huh?”

Steve ground down on Victor, rolling his hips to push his prostate against Victor’s dick. He arched his back with his thrusts, and Victor leaned in to suck over the upper swells of his chest. James used the flames in his stomach as fuel to fuck Katerina as thoroughly as Steve and Victor were fucking. He planted his feet against the bench and pushed Katerina up on his hips. With his flash hand splayed against her lower back, James started thrusting firmly into her, his hips tilted up to drive his dick over her spot. Katerina leaned against James’s chest, her moans coming out fast and hot as James pounded into her, her walls getting slicker from his thrusts.

“I’m coming!” Katerina yelled, pressing down hard on James’s dick, grinding her clit into his thumb. “Don’t stop! Make me come!”

James pulled her body on top of him and sucked on her nipple, his tongue flicking it until it was hard. His dick reached even deeper inside her at the new angle, and after a few long, deep thrusts, he made her come. The pressure of Katerina’s walls squeezing his dick tight nearly made James come, too, but his attention was split between her and Steve. The relentless push of Victor’s dick on his prostate had Steve closer to coming than James was. His dick was brutally hard, the head swollen and almost purple, dripping precum. Steve looked desperate for his impending orgasm, practically slamming his ass on Victor’s dick to get what he needed.

Seeing Steve so needy sparked a lightbulb in James’s head.

“Victor,” James called out. “Can that light shit in your hand make Steve come?”

Victor turned to James and grinned. “When did you become fun?”

“I take that as a yes?” James asked, ignoring the glee in Victor’s voice. 

“It depends,” Victor said. “How bad do you want to see your lover explode in cum?”

The answer was “very,” but James said instead, “Do it.”

“Just need to make one quick adjustment.” Victor pressed his hand into the small of Steve’s back and flipped him onto his back. “There.”

Steve looked up at Victor with stunned-wide eyes that only grew wider when Victor shoved his dick back into Steve’s ass. Victor’s thrusts were hard and deep, fulfilling his promise to plow him open. Steve tried to reach for Victor to hold on to, but Victor stayed up straight, holding one of Steve’s thighs up against his chest as he fucked him. Steve reached behind himself, his pecs and biceps flexing as he braced his hands on the upper bench. After a long rush of unyielding pumps of his hips, Victor stopped and filled his palm with his strange light. His hand loosely encircled Steve’s dick, and the light spread over his skin, making it glow as his chest had.

“Ahhhh!” Steve wailed, his dick spasming and shooting heavy streaks of cum all over his stomach. 

“That’s parlor trick number one,” Victor said to a stunned James and a gasping Steve, his dick still spilling cum onto his abs. “And here is number two.”

Victor resumed fucking Steve hard and started stroking his dick with his glowing hand. Steve struggled to breathe against Victor’s onslaught, his eyes rolled back, his chest arching, and his muscles sharpening as Victor took him apart from both ends. His dick hadn’t stopped spilling cum since Victor grabbed him, turning Steve’s stomach into a sticky-hot mess. Victor’s strokes were slow and light, but the energy in his palm was blazingly intense, looking like it could invade Steve’s body at a cellular level. Whatever it was doing, it was flaying Steve into strips.

“God…it’s not…stopping!” Steve whined from high in his throat. “Still coming…Buck…”

James watched as Steve’s leaking tip throbbed hard again and spilled a thicker round of cum. Victor tightened his fist on Steve’s shaft and built up the glowing energy in his hand. His long strokes suspended Steve in his climax, leaving him sobbing in ecstasy. Seeing the last strands of Steve’s release land pitifully on his stomach did it for James, his dick pulsating in Katerina’s taut walls. He chased after his orgasm with quick thrusts of his hips, and Katerina’s perfectly-timed clench around him pushed him over the edge, making him come inside her with a loud, relieved groan.

With Steve finished and James coming down from his climax, Victor pulled Steve back up onto his lap. “My turn, Cap.”

Victor squeezed Steve’s ass again and fucked him on his dick like he weighed less than nothing. He wore a shameless grin while he used Steve’s hole to get himself off, kneading his supple cheeks as he slammed them onto his lap. Well fucked as he was, Steve didn’t just lie there on top of Victor. He made enough space between their bodies to tug hard on Victor’s nipple. After another squeeze of his pec and tug on his hard nub, Victor groaned and came balls-deep in Steve’s ass. He should’ve been done, but Victor spread Steve’s cheeks again, his cum slowly trickling out of Steve’s worn-out hole.

“Fuck…” Victor groaned, stroking over Steve’s loose, leaking rim. “That was even better than I knew it would be.”

“You’re…welcome?” Steve said unsteadily, lifting back from him and offering a shy smile. “Glad I met your expectations.”

“You were splendid, Captain,” Victor said, spanking Steve’s cheek and groaning when he felt it jiggle. “Christ on a bike, your ass is a gift. It needs a monument. Put it in a museum.”

“Technically, it’s already in there,” James said as Katerina shifted off him and pulled off his condom. “In the Smithsonian.”

“Shut up, Bucky,” Steve muttered. 

Steve eased off Victor and grabbed his towel from the bench, rewrapping it around his waist. He looked around and saw that no one else had put on their towels, all of them sitting completely nude on the benches. 

“Are none of you going to put something on?” Steve asked, crossing his arms defensively.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” James said with a shake of his head. “We’re gonna have to take it off to shower, and it’s a private sauna. Did either of you plan to?”

“Nope,” Victor said, while Katerina laughed and shook her head in disbelief.

“What the hell did I stumble into?” Steve asked himself as he sat down next to Victor, keeping his towel on.

“So, what’s the deal with the glowing hand shit?” James asked, leaning back against the ledge of the upper bench.

“Buck!” Steve exclaimed.

“I thought you read the files,” Victor said. 

“Reading a bunch of vague and redacted documents is different from seeing you use your glowing hand to make a man come twice,” James said, ignoring Steve’s pointed, critical look.

“True,” Victor said, holding his hand up. “All I know is that I can manipulate energy with my hands. I don’t know for sure if I can produce it or if I can channel the energy surrounding us. I have a suspicion it’s the former.”

“Do you have any other abilities?” Steve asked. 

“Katerina said you can fly, but I don’t know if she was being annoying or not,” James said.

“Goddamn it, Buck,” Steve sighed in frustration.

“I think flying is an overstatement,” Victor said. “I can’t control it well, so it’s mostly levitating, but I assume, after practicing some more, I should be able to.”

“Wow,” Steve said. “I mean, Thor can fly, but he’s a god from another realm. This is crazy.”

James scoffed. “Crazier than a giant green rage monster or a century-old assassin or a—”

“Shut up,” Steve said.

“So at least we know why HYDRA wanted you,” James said, ignoring Steve again. “Think we can assume they found out about your abilities somehow and wiped your memory so they could turn you into an asset.”

“It seems so,” Victor said.

“Which is precisely why I want HYDRA destroyed,” Katerina said. “And why we will provide every financial resource that either of you requires to make that happen.”

“What do you mean?” James asked. 

“I mean that I am tired of the Schallenberg family being locked in a stalemate,” Katerina said. “While I would have appreciated a more direct approach to engaging us, you and Steve have achieved meaningful results. So, I am investing in your mission. Money is no object.”

“We don’t need your money,” James said, Natasha’s words from earlier buzzing in his ear. 

“But you could probably use my other considerable resources,” Katerina said. “As I said, my family has been in a stalemate with HYDRA for years. You do not end up in such a position without acquiring significant, valuable assets.”

“Such as?” Steve asked. 

“Such as the secret ledgers that contain the whereabouts of HYDRA’s most valuable holdings in Eastern Europe,” Katerina explained. “I have limited access to them at the moment, and I do not know the specific details. But I can access them through some back channels.”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Steve said. “I don’t want you risking yourself for us.”

“That is very sweet, but I am not doing it for you. I am doing it for the man whose semen is leaking out of you.”

“Oh, dear God,” Steve said, blushing furiously. 

“The things they have done to him,” Katerina said with a potent mix of anger and sadness. “They are unforgivable. And I imagine what they did to you both is equally so.”

Steve locked eyes with James and said, “Yeah.”

“So, I figure between two supersoldiers, another supersoldier with magical powers, and the most ruthless aristocrat on the continent, we should be able to accomplish our collective goal.”

“She is quite ruthless,” Victor said, patting his hand on Steve’s thigh.

“I don’t disagree with any of it,” Steve said. “But it’s not up to me.”

Katerina looked confused and irritated. “What does that mean, Captain Rogers?”

“This is up to Bucky,” Steve replied. “This is his mission, and I’m following his lead.”

“Captain Rogers, a follower?” Victor seemed impressed. “I never would’ve guessed.”

Steve looked at James and gave him a soft smile. “What do you think, Buck? What do you wanna do?”

Had the question been asked a week ago, James would’ve begrudgingly accepted Victor and Katerina’s offer. But that was before the Crystal Alcove changed everything for him and Steve. He had a new understanding of himself, and he was still trying to figure out what that meant. He accepted Steve as his partner in everything but was still mapping out what that looked like in practice. And then there was Natasha, who effectively put a time limit on them, making him choose between the freedom he had fought to retain and the man who gave it to him. The man who gave him everything he had come to value. 

The man that he…