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Six months after Hope left, Nisha was a wreck, it was the same every single day.
Attempt to eat.
Become nauseous.
Vomit.
Repeat.
Her head pounded a rough and painful thumping and ramming feeling, hard to describe, unrelenting even with the strongest drugs.
Nisha had to let her bun down it hurt so bad.
Only briefly did she wonder, was it the lack of sunlight, food, water, exercise, or a mix of all four?
But back to the painful sensation her mind went.
She missed her Hope. Awfully.
Her (their) bed permanently stained with her woes, and more were to come.
Kavel tried to help, he really did, he brought her food, water, and sometimes he'd just come to talk to her.
"You won't believe what this absolute fuck up did at the bar-"
Usually, she tuned him out, choosing to sulk rather than listen to him.
But one day, he spoke of Oscar, that they were meeting up at Reckless.
Nisha wanted to cry her day away like usual, but she found that she missed the old scumbag tiger.
Begrudgingly, she let herself be dragged out, her grey, bloodshot eyes struggled to adjust to the awful light.
"You'll have fun, I promise" Kavel spoke to her as if she was fragile, he helped her into the car, held her hand when she reached for it, despite needing to drive.
She was not fragile.
She was raised to be a strong woman.
But it felt good to be appreciated, she supposed.
Reckless looked a bit different, not bad, but different.
Tainted by all that had happened, it remained the little that helped Nisha hold on, even if it was just a strand.
Quickly, she spotted that distinct orange fur- and-
Red. FUCKING. HAIR.
Nisha wasn't thinking when she reached for the gun in her brother's holster, wasn't thinking when she raised it-
Nothing happened.
Kavel wrenched the gun away from Nisha- not mad, not upset- understanding, reassuring, promising that he'd personally kill Valeria if she tried anything.
Maybe it was going to get better, the brief thought echoed in her mind, but very breifly- as she started screaming at the red haired bitch.
Maybe.
It's been a year since you left.
Nisha grumbled at Oscar.
"I'm not going."
"Nish... you have to." The tiger put his hands on her shoulders, his snaggle tooth snagging his bottom lip as he tried to find the words.
"Look, you can't stay here forever, you won't get better if-"
"Maybe I don't want to get better."
Nisha slid herself out of Oscar's grasp, turning around in her (their) home to walk towards the stairs.
"You know that isn't true." Oscar rubbed his temple, "you want to get better for when she returns, yeah?"
"Please, she doesn't even answer your calls." Nisha hugged herself, although she secretly hoped it was true.
"Is that a chance you're willing to take?"
No, it's not.
Then again, she didn't want to hurt again. Not again. Not like last time.
But when she spotted her brother frowning at her, she couldn't say no.
"Can we take the bed?" She asked quietly, her self hugging fell into just holding her upper arm.
"Whatever helps you kid." Oscar offered a toothy grin.
When they entered Reckless, the first thing that flooded her senses, was the sound of intense ugly sobbing.
And just faintly, over it, she could hear Hope's voice.
Oscar pulled her towards the commotion, Valeria was ugly sobbing and hugging a bunch of old tapes, basically screaming apologies.
It wrought a giggle from her.
Not quite at home just yet, Nisha felt the cold bed beside her, looking over to see no one.
Then she blinked, and suddenly, Hope was right there, leaning against one arm, her other draped across her stomach.
The beauty that was infront of her was unmatched.
Seeing her was like witnessing an angel, perfect in every way, and it was all hers.
But in a fleeting moment, it was gone, her beloved was once more, God knows where.
Alone again. Naturally.
For once, Nisha's cheeks hurt from smiling, it was a beautiful night and Oscar decided it was time for a cookout.
The smell of beef filled her nostrils, the sound of sizzling tingled her mind in a good way.
For once, she didn't feel seething rage around Valeria, they could laugh, without the awkwardness seeping in, it felt.... relieving.
Nisha felt safe, included, appreciated.
Something that she only felt around Hope.
Maybe she was getting better, maybe things were looking up, Nisha swirled her drink in thought, smiling.
Maybe Hope would come back, hopefully not with Jones.
No. Hope was going to come back. She had to stop telling herself that she wasn't.
The sound of a heated argument knocked her out of her thoughts.
Oscar's booming voice, almost a roar, could be heard screaming at a man- ugh. Not just any man. Montague.
The bastard was drunk, extremely so. His jacket was haphazardly put on, one arm in one sleeve and the other sleeve hung on his shoulder.
They were screaming about something that she couldn't quite make out through the slur of voices.
But one thing was extremely clear to her.
"That blue haired bitch ruined EVERYTHING."
Although Montague aas clever, he never quite got "there's a time and place for everything."
Nisha walked forward to poke at Oscar. "Leave him, he's smart. He'll know when he isn't wanted."
Oscar snarled, his bicep flexing as he clenched his fist, "Well. Nisha." He ground out, "some parasites don't know when their feeding ground is dry."
"He ought learn, there's no point in letting him get under your skin."
Oscar clenched his jaw, and then let it relax.
"Fine, buzz off pipsqueak." He waved at Montague, turning and basically stomping away.
Nisha turned to follow him, and really, she hoped she hadn't.
Six shots rang out into the night, silencing the laughing, the chatter, and even the music.
Three shots connected with a wall or a chair that wasn't in use.
The other three went straight through Nisha.
Jerked forward by the first shot in her shoulder, the second bullet tore through her hip, and the last lodged into her stomach, and then ripped out the front.
You know what they say, about the calm before the storm.
There was no calm, the storm hit full force when Nisha failed to keep standing, blood spilling from the three new holes in her body.
Montague made a break for it, it seemed that watching Oscar full tiger sprint at him sobered him up real fast.
Valeria and Kavel were the first to be at her side, Nisha huffed in pain, her chest rose full of breath and then, she shuddered, hissing in pain as she let herself exhale.
"Nisha? Nisha look at me!" Kavels voice broke through a thick fog clouding her mind, she could barely focus her eyes enough to recognize her brother.
Faintly, she could recognize the unnaturally warm hands holding her head up.
"Yeah that's right- just keep looking at me- eyes on me sis-" Kavel brushed hair out of her eyes.
"God damnit- someone get fucking bandages!" Nisha winced when Valeria pressed a palm, deep and hard into the exit wound on her stomach.
"Ow- don't-" Nisha tried to push against Valeria's hand with her own, but that hurt like a bitch.
"Nisha look at me. Look at my face"
Nisha moaned in pain as she once again, looked at her brother, and for a moment, just a moment, she saw blue hair.
Both Valeria and Kavel were covered in Nisha's blood, Their hands stained, and, although that could be washed away, the sight of someone once seen as so strong and unbreakable l, at their lowest, could never be washed, scrubbed, or even scraped away.
Faintly, Nisha could register Valeria speaking, taking about her.
But almost right after, a shocking, vibrating pain rippled through her whole body.
She groaned loudly in pain, her body felt hot, and cold at the same time.
Oscar's voice took over Valeria's, he was angry, demanding.
Through a thick fog she could barely make it out.
"She can't wait forever"
Yes she can.
Yes I can.
I will wait forever.
...
How long is forever?
"You need to call Hope."
Valeria slipped the phone into Nishas shaking hands.
Nisha could barely keep her eyes open, barely move her pinkie.
And still, she made her thumb move to that beautiful contact photo.
"Hey baby."
Nisha cringed at her own voice, it was hoarse and scratchy.
"I miss you. Our bed isn't as warm as it should be without you. I made them move it to Reckless with us, they tried to stop me. Can you believe that?" Nisha scoffed, looking threateningly- or as threateningly as a deathly ill woman could be- at Valeria and Oscar.
"I miss your stupid snorts, the sound you make when you walk through the house- your stupid ideas most of all" she frowned, rubbing her finger along the bedding.
I wish you had brought me with you. I know why you couldn't, but I still wish I could. They still try to call you even though you don't answer. I wish you would." Nisha clenched her teeth.
"I want you back here. I want you to hold me again. God. Can you hold me again? Just one more time? Will you hold me and tell me everything will be okay even if it's not?"
Nisha tried not to cry, even if it was really fucking hard.
"I hope you're doing well, baby. I...."
She's never hesitated before.
"I love you."
Everything hurt, it hurt so bad.
Nisha's breathing quickened, a desperate attempt at filling her lungs with more oxygen. But her chest rose and fell with a quickened shudder instead.
"Fuck!"
Oscar held Nisha to the bed, one large hand holding her uninjured shoulder.
"Nisha! You gotta stay still."
She couldn't hear him over the sound of her blood pulsing in her ears.
"I want Hope- I need to see her- fuck! I-" Nisha started sobbing, begging, her hands gripped the sheets of her bed as blood soaked into it.
"You'll see her- I promise, she's coming darlin" Oscar used his free hand to hold her cheek.
"Just you wait she's on the way-"
Nisha tried to believe that, she really did, but the hesitation in his voice betrayed him.
"No- no! you gotta call her- please call her- I gotta-"
Nisha cried out as another wave of inescapable pain ripped through her again.
"It hurts so fucking bad- Hope-"
Convulsing inescapable pain that seemed to last hours, it probably has been that long- finally subsided.
"I wanna see Hope."
Nisha felt so small. She felt broken. Her biology betrayed her mind.
Oscar rubbed a padded thumb across her cheek, "You will kid. She's comin."
Nisha's breath slowed, the rise of her chest you could barely see.
Valeria ran into the room with a box full of who knows what.
For the first time, Nisha watched as tears stained Oscar's Fur.
"Why are you crying? Hope is- Hope's coming.." She barely managed, her half lidded eyes scanning the rest of the room.
"No reason darlin- no reason."
"I wanna see Hope.... I want...."
One final deep breath in- and then nothing, eyes fully closed, she was no longer afraid to embrace the warm darkness that now engulfed her entirely.
No longer did pain fill her lungs and body.
And when she opened her eyes, she saw Hope, staring at her with a beautiful smirk.
"I love you too."