Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Well you're not doing enough! 

Not doing enough. 

Her palms smarted as she clenched her fists tight. "Take it off." She demanded. Harry scowled and turned away, a protective hand hovering over the locket around his neck. 

"Harry, take off the bloody locket." Hermione hissed, surging forward as if to rip the damned thing from his neck. He flinched and stumbled back out of reach. "You're not being yourself. Take it off."

"No." He retorted, petulant like a child. 

They stared at one another for several long tense moments. So long the birds' singings gave way to the odd chirp and Hermione's feet felt frozen on the cold hard ground. First Ron, now Harry. Whether it was the bloody mushrooms she foraged, or the lack of leads, or the lack of bloody fucking horcruxes; Hermione wasn't doing enough. She'd been trying for months to keep her boys alive. To keep Harry alive so he could do whatever it was that Dumbledore had wanted him to do. She'd traipsed around the country with him, protecting him, starving for him, loving him when no one else was left. They were alone. All alone and she wasn't doing enough. Part of her knew it was just the locket talking. Another part, one that had seen how willingly Harry went along with Ron's childish spats, knew he felt that way too. That was the problem wasn't it? She'd always done so much for them, fixed things for them so they wouldn't get seriously maimed or injured. Or worse, expelled. For years she'd mothered them and was 'too much'. But it wasn't enough. She wasn't enough. 

"Fine." She sighed, rubbing her eyes. Feeling as weary as her parents on those rare times she'd been home in the last couple of years. When they'd return home from work, world weary and bone tired. Older, somehow. "I need a break." 

"Fine. Go. I'll keep watch." Harry muttered, falling into the little camping chair Hermione had packed with a soft thump. 

"No. Like Ron. I need a break like Ron."

"Ron's not coming back." Harry pointed out, eyeing her carefully. As if waiting to see how serious she was. 

"I'll come back. I just need a break, Harry. I need..." Her mum and dad. She needed her parents, who no longer knew who she was. She needed Ron, who had abandoned them. Abandoned her. Ginny, who was holed up in Hogwarts suffering god knows what. A place tantamount to suicide if Hermione waltzed in. Really, where was Hermione going to go? The muggle world? There were snatchers everywhere. Out of the UK? What good would that do, she had no money and no connections with her parents gone. She was stuck. Bloody stuck and not enough! "A walk." She rasped finally. "I need a walk." 

She left before he could answer. Stumbling through the frozen forest with an ice tipped nose and foggy breath obscuring her tear stained vision. You're not doing enough! All she did was try. That was all she'd ever done. Try and try and try and try. Try to be a good student, a good friend, a good daughter. A crack tore into her chest, wrenching it into two and splintering off parts she was sure she'd never find again. She'd tried so hard and Harry was right. She wasn't enough. She'd not done enough. 

It was dark when Hermione stopped walking. She gazed around in a daze. Black patches of forest, as dark as pitch, hissed and writhed in her mind's eye. Forming enemies where she knew there were none. She turned in a circle, trying to get her bearings. "Shit." She muttered. She was lost. Suddenly her heart was hammering in her chest and her limbs felt as if they'd float away. Distantly, she wondered if she might faint and crouched on the ground breathing hard. "Shit!" She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes until she saw stars. "Well bloody done, Hermione." She growled into the icy night air. As suddenly as panic had set in, Hermione wrangled it beneath her control once more. "Work the problem, Granger." She instructed herself. The sky, one could always get their bearings from the stars. It wasn't until after she'd located the dog star that she remembered she was a bloody witch. Scrambling in her pockets, Hermione located the lock of Harry's hair she'd stolen months ago. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, it was just that he had a tendency to run off into mortal peril without telling a soul. So when Hermione had found a modified point-me charm when packing for the horcrux hunt, she'd snuck into his and Ron's bedroom at the Burrow and snipped off a lock of their hair. Ron's lock had been burning a hole in her bag ever since he'd run off. 

She placed Harry's hair in her palm and placed her wand on top of it. "Point-me." She whispered and her wand immediately began to spin. Faster and faster until suddenly it stopped with a twang. North west and steadfast. She kept her wand compass as a guide and stumbled back through the trees. It was slow going. She tripped every other step and was constantly on edge, listening for the faintest sign of snatchers. Half an hour later, the wand began to spin again. "What-?" She slowed to a stop and stared at it. It had never done that before. Not unless... a terrible cold spread over her. Not unless Harry had changed his position. Rapidly and far. Like an apparation. "He wouldn't." She gasped, unsure to whom she was trying to convince. That bloody locket was suffocating his goodness. Convincing him that she'd run off for good, like Ron, and that she'd be better off without him. "Oh, I am going to kill him." Hermione broke into a run, heading for where she thought the tent might have been pitched. Soon she recognised the trees and bushes of this part of the forest and ran with surer steps. Not daring to call his name, for who knew who lurked in the forest, Hermione flew over pitched roots and snarling vines. The dead leaves and twigs crunching under her flighty footsteps. Finally she reached their clearing. The wards made it look empty, she knew that. She knew it. He was still here. He was still here, sitting in that infernal camp chair and practicing his patronus. She continued to tell herself this lie long after she'd passed through her own wards. Finding it empty. Not even a note left in the dead leaves. Just her sleeping bag and half of their food. "HARRY!" She yelled, not caring who was out there now. "Point me!" Hermione ordered, staring at her wand in her palm. It span and span and span and span. Round and round without any clear stop. "Harry?!" Panic gripped her. Perhaps he was apparating somewhere far away and had to make several jumps. Maybe... Her wand grew faster and faster, whistling and whining as it spun in her palm. Hermione surged magic down her veins and into her palm, into her wand. The vinewood creaked and protested, flying in such a violent circle it was beginning to burn her palm. "POINT-ME!" Hermione shouted, her magic blistering along her skin and directly into her hand. Her wand shrieked and there was a loud bang followed by the brightest light Hermione had ever seen. She yelped and shielded her eyes with her free arm, trying to keep her wand steady. When the light died down there was nothing but a terrible burnt out husk of dead wood in her palm. "No." She whispered, not believing her eyes. "No, no, no, no, no... NO!" Hermione dropped to her knees, suddenly acutely aware of how fucking awful she felt. Her brain span and thudded painfully against the restraints of her skull. Every muscle in her body ached, begging for relief, and her bones felt white hot. Like a stiff breeze would cause each and every one of them to splinter. She whimpered, aware of these afflictions but not caring in the slightest. She'd destroyed her wand. Somehow, she'd burnt it to a crisp and it was nothing but a chargrilled dead stick in her hand. She could smell burnt flesh and noted with idle curiosity that her palm was burned. "Anti-septic." She murmured but did not move. "Infection... My wand..." A rustle sounded behind her, but she could not turn, could not move. "My... how... Harry?!" She sounded like a lost and scared little girl. Trembling and mumbling incoherent little worries, cradling her dead wand and burnt hand into her chest and hunching over them, like treasure. The rustling grew louder. "Harry?" She tried again, softer this time. He had to hear her. He had to come back for her! She'd told him she was going for a walk! A silly little walk to clear her head after an argument. She wasn't Ron! She tried! 

It wasn't until the rustling stopped and an eerie silence befell the forest did Hermione finally feel the hairs on the back of her neck standing up. She stopped breathing, listening with all of her might instead. Then it began. The most dreadful sound Hermione had ever heard bar the slithering of a giant snake. She'd heard this sound before. In her third year and in a different forest. Werewolf. She closed her eyes, willing herself to stop trembling. If she was lucky, the creature would merely bite. Not kill. Wandless and half starved, Hermione was in no position to do anything else but wait. Stay still and wait for her dying breath. The growling grew louder, not from intensity, but from proximity. The beast's hot breath puffed against the back of her neck, hot and moist. Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her lips together to stop them from wobbling. Crying would hardly help the situation. She felt the beast's nostrils puff against the wispy greasy curls that had strayed free from her bun, tickling her neck and face. Then the cold wet snout of it's muzzle pressed against the skin of her neck. It inhaled sharply, a low growl rumbling through it's humungous chest. "I'm sorry, Harry." Hermione whispered, accepting her fate. The werewolf's lips dragged over her skin as it opened it's mouth, preparing to bite. She clenched her fists hard and noticed how much her burnt palm throbbed with pain. One last reminder of being human. She dug her nails into the charred flesh even more, savouring the bite of tears that streamed down her ashen cheeks. 

Suddenly a loud crash appeared and a huge animal leapt across Hermione's vision, tackling the werewolf and battling it to the ground. She stumbled away, her dead wand falling to the ground. The werewolf fought, snapping it's jaws and gnashing it's teeth in a terrifying growl that rumbled in Hermione's marrow. She should go. Turn around and run for her life. But she couldn't move. Frozen to the spot, Hermione watched as the beast fought another of it's kind, though considerably smaller with fur so black it was hard to make out in the light of the moon. That was odd. It wasn't a full moon tonight, Hermione thought just as her vision blurred further and her ears pitched to a terrible whine. It was then that she realised she couldn't see anymore. Everything was black and blindingly white at the same time. The sounds of snarling and snapping echoed faintly before black consumed and she was lost. 

Who the hell was jostling her? Didn't they realise she was asleep? It was one of the best sleeps of her life which was saying something considering the skull splitting headache she currently had. Hermione braved opening one eye and just saw stars rushing ahead and the nostrils of someone panting very hard. Odd. What an odd thing to do. She'd much rather sleep. 

There was so much noise. Did no one truly care that they were disturbing her? Hermione groaned and the voices stopped. That was better. She tried to turn and get comfortable. Suddenly she realised she was on an actual mattress. Not a camping roll out that smelled of mildew and always housed an unwanted spider. A real mattress that creaked and groaned under her weight but was so damn pillowy soft. She snuggled further into the little stretch of joy and let sleep claim her once more. 

"This is mad. She could be one of them for all we know!" Came a deep and gravelly voice. One she vaguely recognised, except it wasn't as mature. Like the voice was still finding it's feet. How odd, the owner of it's twin was so self-assured in their ideas. 

"Shut it. We have to wait for the headmaster."

The headmaster?! Not Snape. Hermione struggled to free herself of her pitch black cocoon. She needed to get out of here before Snape could get his greasy hands on her and hand her over to Voldemort. 

"She's moving." Came a third voice. This one she really didn't recognise. It was higher pitched than it's friends and slightly nasal, like the person it belonged to preferred to breath through their mouth rather than their nose. She didn't much like it. 

"Get Pomphrey." Came an authoritative voice that sounded an awful lot like Harry, except louder. Brash. How long had she been out that Harry had turned brash and brazen, not soft spoken and snarky like how she loved. Wait, Harry! Harry was talking. He'd come back! She forced an eye open, followed by the other. Everything was blurry and tinged with gold, like the most brilliant sunrise. 

Two sets of footsteps hurried to her side and she ignored them. Because it was true. Harry had come back for her. "Harry." She whispered, reaching for his hand with limp fingers. Harry startled and stared down her her hand, his dark lashes fanning his brown cheek. "I'm sorry! I'm-" She garbled, a sour potions was being poured down her throat and by the time she'd swallowed, sleep had already claimed her again. 

"Professor, do you have any idea?" Harry asked. Professor? They can't be back at Hogwarts, it wasn't safe! Hermione struggled against the darkness. It was different. No longer comforting and restful, it was heavy and weighed down on her. Crushed her. She couldn't move. 

"She is as much a mystery to me as to yourselves, Mr. Potter." Came a voice she knew without a doubt. Except, he was meant to be dead. She thrashed motionlessly against her stupor, fighting to break the surface and open her eyes. Find the owner of that voice, for it had to be an imposter. Surely Harry knew that! He'd taken Dumbledore's death so hard, but he wasn't delusional. He knew Dumbledore was dead. 

"He's not going to be happy." Came that unpleasant voice from before. 

A series of hums harmonised, as if in complete agreement. But Dumbledore spoke next, "It is in times like these that great friendship becomes a rock for us all." Well the imposter certainly had down Dumbledore's useless riddles and quotes to stitch on a pillow. She desperately wanted to see if they'd gotten down the crooked nose and mischievous sparkle in his eyes. The darkness had lightened, not in pitch but in weight and she found she could twitch her fingers. 

The unpleasant voice gasped and said right next to her ear, "Look! She's moving again."

"A tenacious young woman." Fake-Dumbledore said. "Good, we can always do with more tenacious young women." 

Harry's companions didn't seem to agree and a series of grumbling ensued. 

She tried again, willing her lids to just unstick from themselves and peel open. All she wanted was one tiny look. Her lids fluttered open, revealing a blurry stone coloured background bathed in golden light. 

"Ah! Welcome back to the land of the living, Miss...?" 

Hermione ignored Fake-Dumbledore. Harry, she had to find Harry. Her eyes moved lazily, as if sluggish and half dead. Maybe she was, it would certainly explain why she felt so awful. Roving unfocused over the image before her, Hermione's brows drew together. This didn't make sense. Dumbledore was looming over her, taking up too much of her vision. He looked strange, younger even through the deep etched lines of his face. Less liver spots, Hermione decided. Perhaps she said that out loud for Fake-Dumbledore chuckled and thanked her for the compliment. She tore her gaze away, looking to her left. There was a boy, probably about fifteen or sixteen, with round chubby cheeks and watery blue eyes. He stared down at her, wide eyed and looking a little afraid. He looked spineless, she decided in that moment. A deep laugh boomed from the end of the bed and she swam through her haze to find, "Sirius?" The laughter stopped immediately. 

"What the fuck?" Sirius said, his hands gripped the metal bars at the end of her bed. 

"Do you know her?" Harry asked, obscured by Dumbledore. 

"Stop it Harry." Hermione mumbled, her words slurred and running into one another. What potions did Madame Pomphrey have her on? She'd not even felt this out of it after her petrification in second year. She narrowed her eyes at Sirius, trying to bring him into focus. He looked so young. Oh. Oh. "Oh." She sighed, closing her eyes again. "I'm dead. That makes more sense." 

"Dead, Miss...?" Dumbledore probed. His shadow loomed over her, blocking out the light from the window. 

"Maybe we go back to our favourite age when we die." She mused, feeling sleep crawl for her once more. "Makes sense, though not sure I'd pick eighteen as my favourite." She grumbled. Seventeen would have been more her speed. If she was going to spend eternity in any version of her body, she'd rather the clean and healthy one. 

Her foot jostled and several people exclaimed but only Sirius' panicked voice came through. "How do you know me?!" 

"You call me kitten." She giggled, utterly delirious at this point. Whatever the afterlife was, it felt like the time the neighbour's boy had convinced her to try weed with him behind the back of his garden shed, something she'd indulged in purely because she was about to go on a suicide mission. Except this had considerably more aches and pains. 

"Pads, did you fu- I mean, date this girl at some point?"

"You're such a slut, Padfoot." The unpleasant boy at her ear laughed. "Sorry Professor." He mumbled a moment later at what Hermione could only guess was a withering look from dead-Dumbledore. 

"Ew no." Hermione giggled, reaching for sleep as it enveloped her in heavy dark arms. 

It was dark when she came to again. She blinked open her eyes to find Harry at her bedside. She smiled and reached for him. He looked down at her outstretched hand again before taking it gently. Hesitantly. "I'm sorry I left, I was always going to come back." She whispered. Then a terrible jolt seized her heart, squeezing so tightly her breath left her body. She sat up sharply, clamouring for him.

"Ow! What the fu-"

"Why are you here?!" Hermione demanded, shaking him by the shoulders. His glasses jostled and slumped lopsided across his face. Harry squeezed his eyes shut and wrestled his arms from her, jumping out of his chair and stumbling back. "Harry, no! You can't be dead. You can't!"

"I'm not dead!" Harry shouted before dropping to a whisper and peering around the empty hospital ward. "You're not dead either, Miss. I promise you that." 

"Don't be dead Harry, we have a job to do. We have to stop him! We have to!" Hermione babbled, the words spilling urgent and panicked from her lips. 

"Madame Pomphrey!" Harry called, trying to get Hermione to lie down. She tried to capture his gaze, but his brows were scrunched in concentration and he was refusing to look at her. He pushed and pushed until she lay back flat on the bed. Then the billowing red and white robes of Madame Pomphrey came into view and tipped a sour potion down her throat. Hermione choked and thrashed. 

"NO!" She tried to cough it back up, but it was gone. Sliding down into her stomach and marrying with darkness to drag her back under. 

"Who is she?" This voice was new. Feminine and curious but without a silly affected air that Hermione loathed in other girls so much. 

"No idea. Dumbledore doesn't either." Harry replied. That was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. Of course Harry knew her. She was like a sister to him. They were best friends and had been since they were eleven years old. Harry knew her best out of everyone in the world, Ron included. 

"Are you sure-"

"Yes, Moons." Harry said shortly, huffing slightly. Moons? Who the hell was 'moons'? "No bites or scratches. Just that burn on her hand and internal stuff, Pomphrey said."

Someone to her left let out a long breath and it ghosted over her face, cool and smelling like chocolate and tea. It was quite nice, actually. She tried to turn her face to the source but the darkness was heavy and pressing down so as to make movement difficult. 

"Okay. Good. Sorry, had to make sure." Moons said. Suddenly her hand, the one that screamed with pain if she focused too hard, was gently turned over. Someone played with her fingers and she wanted to smile. It was nice. That people comforted even in the afterlife. "What'll happen to her?"

Harry sighed, and she knew it was Harry because she'd spent seven years next to that boy in class listening to him moan and sigh whenever he got stuck on a question. "Dumbledore needs to find out who she is first, then he needs to find her parents, get her home I s'pose." 

"That makes sense." Came the girl. She sounded like she'd moved closer now, perhaps next to Harry. "Come on Potter, go get some sleep." She urged and Harry sighed, a shuffle of feet ensued and she heard two pairs of footsteps shuffle away. "Coming?" The girl asked. 

Hermione wanted to follow them. The sleep had been nice, but she was bored now. If this was the afterlife, she hoped she wouldn't be stuck in a drugged stupor in a fake hospital wing for the rest of it. 

"No, Pomphrey wants me here another night. See you guys." Moons said to her left. Her hand was still resting gently in his. If she looked past the throbbing pain of her burn she could feel the warmth of his hand bleeding through her bandages. Odd, Hermione thought, that there was pain and injury in the afterlife. The footsteps faded away and still Moons held her hand. She heard a sniffle and she tried to open her eyes. People crying had always been her weakness. No one should cry, she could help, she could try and fix it! The darkness was thick and viscous, making her fight to the surface a drag. "I'm sorry, whoever you are, I hope you don't remember." Moons said, tears thick in his low voice. "Not for me, but for you. I-" Another sniffle and the scrape of fabric across skin with a large sniff. "I can't imagine how scared you must have been. I'm so fucking sorry."

Hermione fought and fought and managed to open her eye just a sliver. A tall teenage boy, probably her age, sat at her side, cradling her hand in his and wiping tears from his face with the sleeve of a brown jumper. She blinked, trying to focus on him. He had tawny skin with hair to match. Messy unruly hair that looked as if it had been pulled at several times in the last few hours. The dark of the hospital wing didn't help manners and she narrowed her eyes trying to make out his features in the dark. Why would he be apologising? She scanned over the skin of his hand, holding hers and made out several silvery scars. "Were you the wolf?" She rasped, her voice hoarse from disuse and thirst. 

The boy startled and a pair of wide hazel eyes found her. "Your eyes are pretty." Hermione mumbled, unable to look away. 

"Y-you remember? The attack?"

Hermione smiled and twitched her fingers in his own. He jumped and looked away, down at their hands, like he'd forgotten. "Not my first encounter with a werewolf and not my worst. I don't blame you." She whispered, eyes fluttering shut. It was exhausting, fighting off these damned potions. 

"What's your name?!" Moons asked, clutching her shoulder. 

"'Mione..." Hermione managed to mumble at the last vestiges of consciousness slipped from her grasp. 

The first thing she noticed was sunlight. Usually the blackness was absolute, covering her like tar and weighing her down. But today the sun shone bright behind her lids, turning the world red and pink. She hummed and stirred, stretching her sore limbs. "Fuck." Hermione mumbled and someone let out a surprised chuckle. 

"I like her already." Came Sirius' voice. 

"Sirius." Hermione smiled, reaching blindly with her good hand. Cold long fingers found her and she frowned. His hands were usually much thicker and manly than that, from what she remembered. Not that she'd held his hand a lot, but just from that summer at Grimmauld, she knew that. 

"How do you know me?" Sirius asked and she blinked her eyes open, finding his grey eyes staring down at her with suspicion and confusion. 

Hermione smiled and squeezed his hand limply, there was no strength in her body. Almost nothing holding her together. She felt like a puddle in a warm sweaty bed. "That's a story, huh, Sirius?" She chuckled, letting her lids fall shut again. The darkness did not claim her though and she hummed at the gooey liquid state of her body. She felt good. Really good. 

"I'd love to hear it." Sirius deadpanned and she laughed. 

"You'd tell it better." Hermione mumbled, blinking her eyes open. That spineless chubby boy sat to her left again and Moons sat at the end of the bed, looking worse for wear. 

"Hi." The spineless boy said nervously, fiddling with her blanket. She narrowed her eyes at the action and raised a brow. He stopped instantly. "I'm Peter." 

"Peter?" Hermione tested the name on her tongue. She'd known one Peter and he was a rat. A spineless traitorous rat. 

"That's right. Dumbledore's on his way and Pomphrey will be here in a second." 

Hermione didn't really care. She needed to find Harry, find out what happened. "Where's Harry?"

"Who's Harry?" Sirius asked and withdrew his hand from hers. She frowned. It was nice when people held her hand, she liked it and obviously she was ill and injured. People should hold the hands of the injured! 

"Potter!" Hermione grumbled. "Where's Potter?!" 

"James?" Peter asked bewildered. 

"No, he's dead, obviously!" Hermione huffed. Silence settled, tense and icy. Then she realised where she was. "Oh. Right sorry. We're all dead." She looked up at Sirius, so young and handsome, without any tattoos or deep lines etched into his beautiful face. "You look good pre-Azkaban." Hermione smiled, touching her fingertips to his wrist. Sirius' eyes grew wide and he flinched his hand away. 

"Azkaban?!" Peter echoed. 

Hermione ignored him and looked down the bed to Moons. He stood, hunched over the bars at the foot, his knuckles white and his head bowed. Suddenly he looked up and those hazel eyes found hers immediately. They really were very beautiful. Confusion settled over her once again. What the-? "Professor?" Hermione cocked her head and tried to sit up. Peter's hands found her shoulders and kept her anchored to the bed. "Professor Lupin, you're not dead."

"I'm a student." Lupin said, brows furrowed. 

Hermione snorted and waved her hand in dismissal. "No, I'm a student. You taught us. Best DADA teacher we ever had. Not that the bar was high, no offence." She muttered, looking about for a glass of water. 

"Here." Peter grabbed a glass off the side table and held it to her lips. She gulped down three eager glugs and slumped into the pillow, utterly exhausted. 

"Pettigrew." Hermione clicked her fingers, staring at him wide eyed. 

"Uh, yeah?" 

"The rat." She growled and felt the urge to snap and snarl at him like a dog. Deathly silence followed and a three sets of footsteps hurried across the stone flooring. 

"Ah, Miss 'Mione, you're awake." Dumbledore's soothing tone said. 

"Hello Professor." Hermione smiled politely. 

"Hello." Dumbledore beamed, no doubt relieved she was somewhat more coherent. "How are you feeling?"

"Fucking insane." Sirius muttered to her right. 

"He's right." Hermione smiled, feeling so at peace. Nothing really mattered anymore, once one was dead. "Death isn't what I imagined it would be."

Harry peeked at her over Dumbledore's shoulder and she reached for him. "Harry! What happened? I tried to find you and then something happened."

"What happened?" Dumbledore asked gently. 

She ignored him, straining to look past his billowing purple robes to Harry. "I promised I would come back and I did, but you left me! How could you do that Harry?! We have no one but each other, you know this!" 

Harry stared at her wide eyed and in that moment her stomach dropped. Hermione shot up, groaning at the pain that flared deep in her bones. "You're not Harry."

"No." Not-Harry said, looking very afraid. 

"Where's Harry?!"

"I don't know..." Not-Harry mumbled, glancing around at Sirius, Peter Pettigrew, and Professor Lupin. Wait. 

"Fuck." Hermione breathed, scrambling back until her back collided with the metal headrest. She looked up into Dumbledore's exacting gaze. "Sir, what is the date?"

His long white brows twitched but other than that he betrayed no emotion whatsoever. "Monday the eighteenth of September."

"Year?" Hermione rasped. She looked as wild as she felt, curls greasy and unkept spilling over her shoulders and eyes glassy and wide, staring at her blanket covered knees in panic. 

"Nineteen seventy eight." Dumbledore replied carefully. 

"Oh." Fuck! Pressing the heels of her hands into her sockets, Hermione breathed evenly through her nose and mouth. In... out... in... out... Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT! "Sir?" Hermione looked up at him and tried to ignore the panicked thrum of her pulse. "I think I need help."  

Chapter Text

Dumbledore was nothing if not efficient and the moment Hermione turned to him wide eyed and desperate, asking for help, he cleared the room. Not-Harry, who Hermione now deduced was actually James Potter, left with Sirius, Peter Pettigrew, and teenage Professor Lupin. All of whom were looking back over their shoulders and watching her with alarm. 

"Start at the beginning Miss 'Mione." Dumbledore said gently, taking a seat beside her and holding her hand in his. She was vaguely aware that she was trembling. Which made sense, it was a very scary thing to be lost in time. She'd not even enjoyed her sanctioned trips into the past, let alone a highly illegal one that had sent her back decades, not just an hour or two. 

"You're a legillimens." Hermione said, turning to him and capturing his gaze. "I give you permission. Look." So he did. She felt a gentle probing at the fringes of her mind and she pushed forth the memories leading up to her waking up in 1978. After several moments Dumbledore patted her hand and stood, pacing at the end of her bed and stroking his long beard in thought. 

"Yes, you are in quite the pickle." He murmured. Hermione frowned, that was quite the understatement. "I must not see any more." He said, leaning on the foot of her bed and furrowing his brow. She'd seen Dumbledore look serious before, but this was something else. "You hold answers I must not see, Miss Granger." He'd managed to get her name, that was efficient of him. He drummed his long fingers on the metal bars and it echoed tinny and dull through the empty hospital wing. "You will continue to recover here and I will go away and contact my friends in the Department of Mysteries."

"NO!" Hermione scrambled forward. "He has men there, you can't trust anyone in the Ministry."

For the first time in her life Hermione heard Dumbledore swear. He recovered quickly and stared straight ahead, keen blue eyes searching his mind's eye for a solution. "Tell me no more of Lord Voldemort's followers. Now, have you meddled with time before?" He asked urgent and quick.

"Yes." She confirmed. "You and Professor McGonagall leant me a time turner in my third year. I wanted to take all electives on offer."

He nodded, short and sharp, and continued pacing. "Good. So you know and understand the rules. Time is temperamental. It may be that the fabric of time recognised you and when you were searching for your Mr. Potter, it seized you."

"But I wasn't trying to go back in time. I just performed a simple Point-Me charm."

He shot her a wry look. "A modified one with a lock of hair. A genetic marker to anchor powerful magic. That and the emotional state you were in-"

"I remember," Hermione swallowed, her throat dry. "Surging magic down my arms to my wand. I just needed to find him. We can't be separated. He needs me." 

Dumbledore stopped his pacing and came to her bedside once more. "Miss Granger, try not to worry about Mr. Potter. If he is anything like who I suspect his father to be, he will be quite fine."

"He's not like James." Hermione urged, gripping Dumbledore's arm before wincing and pulling back. She stared down at his hands. Wrinkled and clear of disease. 

"Still," Dumbledore twinkled kindly, "as a great friend once said, to worry is to suffer twice."

Hermione blinked. "How the hell is that helpful?!" Suffer twice, as in Harry would die but if she worried about it she'd just have to suffer that twice?! 

"Perhaps it isn't." Dumbledore chuckled and adjusted his half-moon glasses. "Try and rest, Miss Granger. I will return this evening to discuss the particulars of your stay with us."

With that he patted her hand and swept away with billowing velvet robes twinkling with stars. The particulars of her stay. This wasn't the bloody Four Seasons. She was stranded in time, without even the aid of a time turner. How the bloody hell was she meant to get back?! Could she get back? Was that even possible? 

She stewed restlessly in her thoughts until finally Madame Pomphrey bustled to her side and poured several potions down her throat. Hermione accepted it without protest. Being conscious was far worse than that drugged stupor, it turned out. 

Hermione woke to the golden shine of the late afternoon sun. She blinked and yawned, pressing into her palms to heave herself upright. "Careful." Said that kind female voice she'd heard earlier. Hermione looked to her right and found a girl about her age with long auburn hair and pale freckled skin. "Ginny?" Hermione blurted before remembering where she was. No, the hair was wrong anyway. Too dark. And the girl's eyes weren't brown and warm. They were bright green and kind, like Harry's. "Oh shit." Hermione rasped, squeezing her eyes shut. 

"No, not Ginny, I'm afraid." Harry's teenage mother said gently. "My name is Lily, I'm head girl. I wanted to be here when you woke up but I had Ancient Runes. Sorry." 

Hermione shook her head, still keeping her eyes firmly closed. The past, it turned out, was one massive nightmare. "Where's Ha- the others?" She asked, finally opening her eyes and staring down at her bandaged hand lying in her lap. 

"Sirius and Peter have detention. James and Remus are getting some sleep. They've been worried sick about you. James was the one to bring you in." Those must have been his nostrils flaring as he ran with her under a starry sky. 

"What happened?" Hermione mumbled, picking at her bandage which was stained with rusty brown blood. She picked it apart and began to unfurl it.

"Uh, I think you should wait for Madame Pomphrey." Lily said, looking as if she wanted to grab Hermione's hand and stop her. 

"S'fine." Hermione rolled her eyes. She could inspect her own bloody hand. And bloody it was, grotesque and shiny with raw skin and blood dotted amongst the flesh of her palm. Hermione discarded the soiled bandage and reached instinctively for her wand. "Oh." She said, feeling tears well up behind her eyes. Do not cry, do not cry, Granger!, she willed herself. "My wand, it was destroyed."

Lily made a sympathetic noise and held her own wand to Hermione's palm. "Ferula." Clean white bandages wrapped themselves tightly to the wound, fastening with a flick. 

"Thanks." Hermione mumbled, leaning against the pillows tiredly. "What happened?" Hermione asked again. 

Lily shifted uncomfortably and craned to look over her shoulder. "Well, you were almost attacked by a werewolf and the boys managed to hold it at bay. James scooped you up and ran with you back to the castle as fast as her could." The boys held it at bay. That black wolf she'd barely been able to make out, it must have been Padfoot, Sirius' black dog animagus. "Do you know how you came to be in the forbidden forest?"

Hermione shook her head. It wasn't a lie per say, she had no idea why her magic and time had ripped her from the Forest of Dean twenty years in the future to the forbidden forest twenty years into the past.

Lily made another sympathetic noise and glanced over her shoulder again. "Oh, there's Professor Dumbledore, I'll leave you be." Lily stood and patted Hermione's arm with such kind affection that tears pricked at Hermione's eyelids. Lily left, murmuring a passing greeting to Dumbledore who swept to Hermione's side. A silencing charm buffeted them and Hermione relaxed. 

"Madame Pomphrey has assured me that you will be up and about by the end of the week." He smiled like a kindly grandfather and Hermione suddenly understood Harry's attachment to the man. "I have no doubt our conscientious head girl and boy will be in to check up on you. It is up to you how welcoming you wish to be, but I feel I should warn you, they will both be very friendly and welcoming regardless of your response."

Hermione smiled, oddly enough she'd worked that out for herself. 

"Your time travel, it is a conundrum I've not encountered in this way before. Any time travel I, or a colleague, have done have always been facilitated by a device such as a time turner. This was a true accident, as such, it is hard to understand what the implications of this might be. Return you and you may end up like Eloise Mintumble." Hermione nodded sagely, she knew the story. She'd aged all the years she'd leapt forward in quick succession. "Keep you, and you may affect change like Miss Mintumble too."The witch had managed to erase twenty five people from existence.

"I should try and keep to myself as much as possible." Hermione agreed. "I've been on the run for months, sir, I know how to look after myself. If you could perhaps provide me with some money so I needn't resort to stealing, I shall hide myself away and research a way home."

"No, Miss Granger, I'm afraid that won't do." Dumbledore frowned. "I am nothing if not a paranoid old man, Miss Granger. I am sorry to say it. I'd would prefer for you to stay in Hogwarts, where we can work on a solution together."

Hermione took a deep breath. "You don't trust me."

"I do not know you." Dumbledore twinkled kindly. A look that had once held such comfort now felt infuriating. "Besides, from those glimpses I caught, a life on the run is hardly a life worth living." 

With that she could agree. Though her body was broken and ached with every breath, Hermione hadn't felt this comfortable and warm in months. 

Dumbledore continued, "I propose that you finish your schooling here while we research a way to send you home safely." 

Finish her schooling. Her abandoned seventh year. The prospect called to her like a siren, urging her to agree and dive into the warm waters of academia. Back to her home. There was just one problem. Or, rather, four problems. 

"What about the others?" 

"Misters Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew, I assume?"

Hermione nodded, nibbling on the chapped skin of her bottom lip. 

Dumbledore sighed and took a seat, groaning at the ache in his old bones. "Yes, it is rather a problem. They've been sworn to secrecy for now, but one cannot expect teenagers to commit to such steadfast silence for too long. I suggest obliviation." 

Her blood went cold. "No! Please, no! I don't want to do that to them."

Dumbledore raised a brow and she kept her gaze firmly averted. He couldn't know about her parents, not because she was ashamed, which she was, but because of the events that surrounded her parents' obliviation. 

"An unbreakable vow?" Dumbledore suggested idly, as if it weren't a life or death suggestion.

"Are you mad?!" Hermione blanched. "They're teenage boys! They can't be trusted to keep an unbreakable vow, they'll kill themselves."

With a kindly chuckle, Dumbledore stroked his beard and tilted his head in agreement. "That leaves us with very little choice, Miss Granger. Obliviation or blind trust. I know which I'd prefer when talking about the fabric of time itself." It was true. They had no choice. Not really. 

The story would stay roughly the same. Remus, as a transformed werewolf, had stumbled across Hermione in the forbidden forest. He'd tried to bite her and the three other boys, out for a walk in the moonlight, had stumbled across the scene. They distracted the wolf and James had carried an unconscious Hermione back to the castle. Sirius had been incredibly brave and stupid, stunning the wolf and making a quick getaway with Peter at his heels. Instead of Hermione's incoherent babbles about the afterlife and knowing Sirius, she'd stayed unconscious for two full days and nights until finally waking for Professor Dumbledore. Her backstory; a halfblood orphan who had been tutored privately by muggleborn sympathiser parents in the depths of the Baltics. When Voldemort sympathisers murdered her parents, Hermione had, under the instruction of her mother and father, travelled to Hogwarts for education and protection. The details of her time in the forbidden forest were patchy to her, injured and delirious as she had been, therefore she would have no knowledge of Remus' lycanthropy status. 

After the Marauders and Lily had been summoned to Dumbledore's office one by one, they each emerged, sure of this story and none the wiser to who Hermione Granger really was.

Madame Pomphrey had been right, by the end of the week Hermione was able to walk about unaided and without tiring too quickly. She struggled with stairs but that could be explained easily enough by her week long stay in bed. On Sunday night she was released from the hospital ward and straight to Dumbledore's office. She murmured the password, sugar giblets, and ascended the spiral staircase. At the top she found Dumbledore and Lily Evans, joking in idle conversation in his office. Hermione knocked on the ajar door and they stopped and turned to look at her. 

"Ah! Miss Granger, do come in. You're looking well!" Dumbledore beamed, as if he'd not just obliviated five of his students, one of whom was standing beside him smiling prettily. "You might not remember Miss Evans, she's our excellent head girl."

Lily flushed a happy pink and extended a hand. "It's lovely to meet you properly, please call me Lily."

"Hermione." She murmured, shaking Lily's hand. She shot Dumbledore a dubious look and tensed when she spied the sorting hat beside him. 

"Miss Evans shall escort you to your new house and help you settle in."

"Fingers crossed for Gryffindor!" Lily whispered with a friendly wink. "Not to be bias, but we are the best, plus I can really help you settle in there." 

Giving what Hermione knew was a weak smile, she crossed over to Dumbledore's side and eyed the sorting hat. Silent and unmoving on its perch. "It's quite harmless, I assure you." Dumbledore twinkled and Hermione grew increasingly agitated. He picked up the hat and gestured for her to sit upon the stool it had vacated. She did, perching and ready to bolt. He settled the hat over her head and it obscured her vision. 

Ah! Miss Granger, so much to see. What a life you have lived already, and in one so young. Yes, yes, I see... Courage beyond compare. That has served you very well.

"Not Gryffindor." Hermione mumbled under her breath, silently so as not to offend Lily who she was sure was watching on with bated breath. 

Not Gryffindor, you say? But you fared so well there before. But your brains equal your brawn, yes that they do. Perhaps Ravenclaw, though you do not possess that flexibility so important to the learned house.

Hermione bristled, shifting her weight on the chair. What gave this sodding hat the right to insult her? Hermione was plenty flexible as long as she was right. 

No, not Ravenclaw, though you would do well there. Gryffindor is your home. It is your family. "Gryffindor!" It shouted and Hermione crumpled in on herself. 

"Fantastic! Congrats!" Lily exclaimed beyond the hat's musty brim. Hermione schooled her face into a weak smile and slipped the hat from her head, finding Lily's genuinely pleased expression. 

"Thanks." Even to Hermione's ears her voice was flat. But who could blame her, sentenced to a year with ghosts who knew nothing of their tragic fates. 

Lily, instead of being offended by Hermione's lack of enthusiasm pulled a sympathetic face and hurried to her side, slipping her arm through Hermione's and pulling her to her feet. "Poor thing, you must be exhausted."

"There's a lot of stairs here." Hermione mumbled, igniting several chuckles from Dumbledore and Lily. 

"Well, just a few more and you can go to bed. I'll ask the house elves to bring you something to eat in bed." Lily nodded decisively and despite her best efforts, Hermione really rather liked this girl. 

"I have given you and Miss Evans the morning off to go down to Hogsmeade to pick up your school supplies and some clothes. Here," Dumbledore pressed a fat coin purse into her hand, "It is the stipend your parents set up. Again, I am sorry for your loss." 

Hermione stared at the leather purse, worn and old and tied with a leather thong. Tears blurred her vision and she knew he meant it. He was sorry for her loss. Because she'd not just lost her parents, months ago and by her own noble hand, but everyone else too. Even those had had known her, didn't anymore. She was completely and utterly alone in the world. A world on the edge of burning. "Thank you, sir." She managed to eek out before Lily tugged her out of the office and down the stairs. 

True to her word, Lily Evans bustled Hermione across the castle and up into Gryffindor tower. They passed through a heaving common room and Hermione felt every single pair of Gryffindor eyes settle upon her as Lily marched her straight through and up the girl's stairs to bed. She had a bed in Lily's dorm, as luck would have it, and she spied three other beds, all worn in and decorated with posters, scarves, and discarded bras. It reminded her so much of Pavarti and Lavender, that for the first time in her life, the thought of those two airheads made her eyes burn with unshed tears. Lily leant her a pair of her own pyjamas and a spare toothbrush. Hermione went through the motions. Toilet, shower, dress for bed, brush teeth, braid hair, and sink into bed. Lily had waited around, reading a magazine on her own bed as Hermione moved listlessly around the space. When Hermione slid beneath the covers, Lily doused the lights and drew Hermione's curtains shut. "G'night. I'll see you in the morning. Dumbledore said your wand was destroyed? Well, he's asked Mr. Ollivander to come up to Hogsmeade and meet us at the Three Broomsticks, so you'll get a new one tomorrow, don't worry."

"Thanks Lily." Hermione whispered, reaching out and clasping the girl's wrist. Lily smiled so kindly that a fresh wave of tears over took Hermione but still they did not shed. It wasn't until her curtains had closed and the door clicked softly behind Lily did Hermione let go. Tears ran in coursing rivers down her cheeks, dripping onto the pillow beneath her cheek. She curled in on herself. This wasn't her bed. These weren't her pyjamas. This wasn't her time. At some point she ran out of tears and stared wide eyed and unseeing into the dark velvet curtains around her bed. She wasn't sure how much time passed but soon three sets of footsteps snuck into the dormitory, shushing one another and getting ready for bed in hushed tones. Their voices went quiet and soon the soft huffs of sleep filled the room. It wasn't long after that that Hermione joined them. 

Monday came bright and early. Bright gold light poured in electric beams from the September clouds directly into the window of their dorm. Hermione roused and rubbed at her puffy eyes. She drew back the curtains to find three girls huddled on one bed staring straight at her. Hermione stilled, still rubbing one eye and peered back. Lily was the first to move, leaving a willowy blonde girl and a beautiful black girl on her bed. "Morning Hermione. How did you sleep?"

"Fine." Hermione shrugged, setting her bare feet on the cold wooden floor. In her dorm she'd kept a rug at her bedside, ready for those cold draughty mornings. It had been purple and her mum had bought it for her for christmas in first year. 

"Good." Lily bit her lip and glanced back at her dorm-mates. "Oh, these are our dorm-mates and my very best friends. Mary," The black girl waved with an inquisitive smile. "And Marlene." The blonde girl dipped her head in hello, her keen brown eyes trained on Hermione with curiosity. 

"Hello." Hermione waved back. They stared at her and Hermione wanted to run. She had no idea what had happened to Mary, but like Lily, Marlene's fate was morbid and weighing heavily on Hermione's mind. "I'm gonna shower." She said, getting to her feet and grabbing the towel she'd used last night, laid out to dry on the foot of her bed. The girls murmured goodbyes and Hermione did everything in her power not to run from the room. 

Mary and Marlene had gone by the time she returned to the dorm. Wrapped in the towel with Lily's pyjamas over one arm. "Thanks for the pyjamas." Hermione murmured, depositing them in the laundry basket in the corner of the room. Instantly they disappeared. 

"Of course, here," Lily held out a pile of neatly folded clothes. "Your clothes were a little worse for wear after... everything." 

Hermione grunted and took the clothes with a small smile. Her clothes. The jeans her mum had bought her on the very last day before she'd obliviated her. They'd taken a trip into town for a much needed mother-daughter day. They'd shopped and laughed and Hermione's mum had bought her several new clothes for the upcoming school year. Then they'd stopped for tea and cake at their favourite cafe before stopping by their favourite bookshop on the way home. It had been the perfect goodbye. Her jeans, now tattered and stained with blood and mud. The jumper she'd been wearing. Her Weasley jumper, with an H knitted into the front. Purple, because Molly knew that was her favourite colour. Now unravelled and torn from branches and thorns, with large blood stains where she'd cradled her burnt hand to her chest. "Thanks, Lily." Hermione turned away and dressed.

Lily was fashionable for the period and so Hermione felt a little like she was wearing a costume. Dressed in bright green tights with a brown corduroy pinafore and a floral paisley top underneath, Hermione felt the farthest from herself so far. It was funny, the difference clothes made. Hermione slipped her feet into her own trainers, a pair so worn that the toe had begun to fray, and slipped the coin purse from Dumbledore into the pinafore's large front pocket. "Okay, let's go." 

The girls walked down to Hogsmeade in comfortable silence. It was a nice day with warm sun that did it's part to dispel the chill in the autumnal air. They arrived at Gladrags first and Hermione spent a small fortune on school robes and casual wear. Lily helped her choose comfortable pieces that would fit in both in the magical and muggle worlds, something Hermione had said was important to her. Hermione took great pride in looking like a muggle. She was born of two worlds and was resolute in honouring both. Outfitted with a pair of bell bottom jeans, an array of jumpers in earthy colours, some woollen skirts, underwear, and a few headache inducing patterned shirts, Hermione left feeling a little better. At least she could clothe herself now. Next was Scrivenscrafts, to pick up parchment, ink, quills, and everything else a seventh year would need to prepare for their NEWTs. At least with this, Hermione hadn't needed help. Next was Tomes & Scrolls to pick up her academic texts and for the first time in her life she left a bookshop with only those on her list, as funds allowed. Hermione walked beside Lily on the cobblestones streets of Hogsmeade to the Three Broomsticks, she'd been in the seventies for a week and had already had so many firsts. This wouldn't be a first though. This was bittersweet. 

They entered the pub and Madame Rosmerta, in her twenties and such a bombshell that Hermione finally understood Ron's obsession, directed them to a private room upstairs. They knocked on the door and a gravelly voice rasped for them to enter. Hermione found Mr. Ollivander seated at a small table, an array of wands spread before him in their boxes. 

"Mr. Ollivander, thank you for meeting us." Hermione smiled, extending her hand. Ollivander glanced at it and shook it after a moment. 

"Ah, you have spent a lot of time in the muggle world." He observed and Hermione's cheeks reddened. 

"Yes. What of it?" 

Ollivander chuckled and patted her hand before releasing it, "Nothing at all dear, just an observation. Most magic folk don't greet with handshakes. I, however, have always been fond of the custom."

Lily smiled and said that she had too, prompting a well meaning chuckle and a handshake from Mr. Ollivander. 

"Some think the handshake originated as a display of trust. To show those we didn't know that we weren't carrying weapons." Hermione said, sliding into a seat opposite him. Lily hung back, inspecting the decor with idle interest. "Others believe it was a custom of promise. Of deals made."

Ollivander's eyes glittered and he leaned forward, grasped Hermione's hand and whispered, "Noble customs either way, my dear." She nodded and they drew back. He spread his hands out over the surface of the table, glancing down at his accrued goods. "Now, tell me of your previous wand, dear."

"Vinewood. 10 3/4 inches. Dragon Heartstring core."

Ollivander arched a brow and hummed. "A powerful wand. Remarkably similar to one I am making at the moment." He murmured, brows fluttering for a moment before clearing and focussing on the task at hand. "Perhaps, this..." He plucked a wand from it's box and handed it to her. 

She waited for the familiar surge of magic but just a trickle limped pathetically through her veins. "No." She frowned, handing it back. 

Ollivander was unperturbed and handed her another. A little more magic surged but was damp and lacklustre. She wrinkled her nose and handed it back. The next felt jumpy and skittish. The one after that was hot and impulsive. 

"Hm, I wonder..." Ollivander clicked his tongue and dove into the suitcase at his feet. "Aha!" He straightened, holding a wand that looked like Hermione's old one. "It is not finished yet, but I wonder..."

Not finished. Hermione's eyes widened and she reached for it almost greedily. The moment her fingers wrapped around the wood she felt like she was home. Magic surged powerful and peaceful through her veins, channeled by the vinewood in her fingers. But she couldn't. Little Hermione Granger, not yet born, would need this in fifteen or so years. "No, this doesn't feel right either." She lied. It broke her heart to say goodbye to this wand twice, but she had to. For the timeline. 

The man across from her gave her an exacting look and she knew that he knew she was lying. He did not press though, and merely pocketed the wand once more. Tears burned at the backs of her eyes but Hermione did not give in. She had a job to do. She just needed a bloody wand. Perhaps the hot and impulsive one would do, it felt powerful enough. "Then perhaps this." Ollivander murmured, pressing another wand into her hand. It was around the same size as her previous but pale in colour and springy. Magic surged in a low hum along her limbs and it felt like sinking into a warm bath. She sighed and smiled before pointing the wand at Ollivander's water glass and turning it into a raven with glossy feathers. 

"Oh! Excellent!" Ollivander exclaimed and Lily appeared at Hermione's side with a large grin.

"Is that the one?" Lily asked, eyes hopeful. The poor girl must be bored stiff. 

Hermione nodded, "Yes. This is my wand." It didn't even feel like a lie. 

"Dragon heartstring, like your wand before." Ollivander confirmed, packing away the rejected wands. "Aspen wood, for the revolutionaries." He winked, eyes glittering. Hermione grinned because she could not help it. She was a revolutionary even if no one else knew it. "Ten inches and springy." 

"It's perfect." Hermione murmured, turning the raven back into a water glass. "Thank you, Mr. Ollivander."

"You're very welcome dear." He smiled and fastened the suitcase. Heaving himself to his feet, he bid them good day and headed for the door. 

Despite being given the morning off, Hermione found she wasn't itching to return to the castle. Perhaps it was all the ghosts who had yet to die. As such, she convinced Lily to be treated to a pub lunch as a thank you. They ate pie and chips washed down with butterbeer. It was excruciating in a way. To interact with a girl who would be dead in three years. But Lily was kind and intelligent with a fierce and spontaneous wit that made Hermione snort butterbeer out of her nose. Lily told her of the other characters in their house, mainly the Marauders, whom Hermione had yet to officially meet in her fake story. Hermione pretended to be terribly interested, asking all sorts of questions and smirking at the exasperation threaded through every word for the boys but Remus. "Are you close to Remus?" Hermione asked, chewing a chip.

Lily tilted her head and smiled, "Yes. We've been best friends since first year. His friends are prats but have grown loveable the past couple of years." She sighed, dragging a chip through gravy. 

"They sound like a lot to handle."

"Oh they are." Lily rolled her eyes fondly. "But they're good people for the most part."

For the most part. Excepting one traitorous rat. Hermione's fingers clenched around her butterbeer and she downed the rest in lieu of reply. 

"We should head back. Dumbledore said you'd like to try for all NEWTs except divination?"

Hermione nodded and picked up her shopping bags. Her wand tucked safely up her sleeve. "Yeah, I'm fairly academic."

Lily snorted and shot her a look. "Coming from someone else 'fairly academic' I know that's speak for a bloody genius." They shared an amused and knowing look before departing for Hogwarts. 

Hermione didn't attend afternoon lessons. She wasn't ready and besides, she needed to know what Dumbledore's plan was. She made her way to the headmaster's office and knocked on the door. "Enter." Came a muffled reply. She walked in to find Dumbledore speaking to three students. All slim boys with dark hair and pale skin. One had greasy hair and sallow skin that culminated in a yellowed hook nose that dominated the rest of his otherwise fine face. He noticed her staring and sneered. A young Snape, as insufferable and sneering as his adult version. She raised a brow back and crossed her arms, waiting. "Thank you Mister Snape, Mister Black, Mister Crouch." Hermione's gaze snapped to the two remaining boys. Younger than Snape, they were serious and sullen with careful expressions. R.A.B himself stood there, straight backed and looking at Dumbledore with a bored expression. To his right stood Barty Crouch Jr, her former/future professor who had disguised himself with polyjuice in order to trick Harry into resurrecting Voldemort. Frustratingly, apart from torturing poor animals in front of students, he'd actually been a rather good teacher. But like she'd said to a young Professor Lupin, the bar wasn't high. The boys looked at her as they passed, curiosity thick in their bored expressions despite their best efforts. She stared them down, unflinching. Two more ghosts and the worst teacher alive. Once they'd left, Hermione turned to find Dumbledore watching her with interest. Crossing to his desk, she helped herself to a seat and sighed. 

"You don't want to know anything." She reminded him and Dumbledore hummed and nodded, disappointed anyway. A man like him, who itched for power and knowledge, must have found her presence entirely too torturous. She withdrew her wand and placed it on the desk with a thud. "I got a new wand. Ollivander tried to sell me my old one, still unfinished." He didn't react so she pocketed the wand again and ran a hand down her tired face. "This one is fine though. It suits me."

"I'm glad."

Had she ever felt so tired in her life? Bone weary and world weary in a way she'd never felt before. It was horrid and Hermione suddenly felt very old. 

"I think you should join lessons tomorrow." Dumbledore said kindly and she nodded. She agreed wholeheartedly. If she had to witness the Sirius and James of Sirius' old stories she'd burst into tears. "Perhaps a day in the library? I have given Madame Pince express permission to let you have unfettered access to the restricted section." She must really be tired for this only ignited a slight fluttering of excitement in her chest. Normally that sort of news would have given her a coronary of joy. 

"Thank you sir. Do you have any updates, or ideas?" She added tiredly.

Dumbledore shook his head and she watched the trail of his beard coax across his velvet robes. Was it hot, to have a beard that voluminous and long. Perhaps she'd ask Hagrid. Hagrid. For the first time, Hermione felt a little flicker of hope in her cold empty body. Could she befriend Hagrid, or was that too risky for future Hermione Granger. "Sir, my name." She rasped, realising the monumental cock up they'd been operating under.

"Yes," Dumbledore frowned, clasping the middle of his beard and soothing his fist down the rest of the straggly white hair. "An oversight I am not proud of." He leaned back and rubbed his forefingers into his eyes beneath the half moons of his glasses. She'd never seen Dumbledore look this tired either, not even when he was dying from a cursed horcrux. "It is just a name. There have been thousands of James', William's, Amy's and Anne's at this school. What is two Hermione's?" 

"Two Hermione Granger's?"

Dumbledore shrugged and twinkled making Hermione grit her teeth. "An unusual turn of events but not unheard off. No student shall be here, and the staff are discreet."

Except she would be schooling with two of her future professors.

"Sir, the students here do matter in my future. I won't say which ones, though I know you know of at least one." Remus' memories would have been searched meticulously by Dumbledore when he obliviated him. He must have seen her refer to Remus as her professor and a bloody good one at that. 

Dumbledore hummed and leaned back in his chair, his long fingers steepled atop his belly. "It is nice to know he finds his feet. I do worry about him."

Hermione stayed quiet. She suspected Dumbledore had only offered Remus the job to help him catch Sirius Black who had broken out of Azkaban at the time. As far as she knew, Remus and Dumbledore weren't particularly close in the years following, though Remus had always followed Dumbledore's command in the war. 

"It is no matter. By the time Remus comes to teach at Hogwarts I shall bond him with an unbreakable vow."

"And the others?" Hermione raised a wry brow. Snape and Sirius would know her too. Snape would teach her from eleven to the moment she was forced to flee. From the moment he'd murdered the man sat before her. 

Dumbledore remained quiet, stroking his beard in thought. "It is too late to obliviate. Your name has been bandied around the castle in idle gossip for a week already. I can't obliviate the entire school. When your future self comes to school here I shall proclaim a distant relation and family name as the answer. None will look too closely, most people don't want to accept the strange and abnormal."

Frankly, Hermione didn't feel this was good enough but wasn't in much of a position to argue to let it go. On Dumbledore's head be it. "Now," Dumbledore picked up a quill and parchment and raised his brows to the door in clear dismissal, "If you'll excuse me I have a rather busy day ahead of me. Please use this time to research and recover, Miss Granger. I will speak to you soon."

"Thank you Professor." Hermione said, getting to her feet and slipping from his office.

She walked along the well worn corridors of Hogwarts. So familiar and unfamiliar all at once. Her feet carried her to the library without instruction and the moment she stepped through it's large double doors she relaxed. The library, the first place she'd truly felt at home in this great draughty castle. She introduced herself to Madame Pince, no less formidable twenty years younger, and walked through to the restricted section. Searching the towering shelves, Hermione looked high and low for anything referring to time magic. There were countless volumes about time turners, time magic, the warnings and parables of witches and wizards who had played with time. Hermione found her old haunt, a little table tucked away next to a window overlooking the lake and forest, and spread the dusty volumes before her. Before long the sun stopped glinting off the surface of the lake and dipped below the horizon. Lanterns sputtered to life, casting a warm orange glow over the stacks and Hermione slaved away at her work, looking for any instance of pure will and accident sending someone back in time. Even just an hour's time back. But there was nothing so far. Hermione sighed and stretched her arms overhead, groaning at the crick in her spine. 

"I thought you'd never stop." Came an amused voice behind her. She jolted and turned, finding Sirius Black leaning against a shelf and staring at her with amused grey eyes. Shoving himself away from the shelves, he sauntered over to her, a smirk playing at the edges of his lips. "I'm Sirius Black. I saved your life." 

Good god. Hermione fought the urge to laugh and shook his hand. "I suppose I should thank you then." She said instead. 

Sirius shrugged and slid her books away, making space to perch his hip on her desk and smile down at her. It was then, when he tucked a stray curl behind her ear that she realised Sirius Black was flirting with her. Hermione burst into laughter and shoved his hand away. "Nice try, Black, but no." 

Sirius, undeterred or unbothered, Hermione wasn't sure, shrugged and grinned in a way she was sure would have devastated her if she'd never known his future self. "Worth a try, it's not often we get pretty new things to play with."

Oh, he'll live to regret that, Hermione smirked and leaned back in her chair. Eyeing him with big doe eyes as she tilted her head and bit her bottom lip. "You think I'm pretty?"

Sirius grinned, in that way, and winked. "Of course, a regular fox."

Hermione leaned forward, drawing closer until she could see her breath flutter the soft cotton of his shirt. "A pretty thing?"

Leaning on the heel of his hand, Sirius leaned down and flitted his gaze between her eyes and her lips. Oh god he's an idiot. "The prettiest."

Hermione smiled and withdrew her wand. "Avis." She whispered and Sirius drew back, confused. "Oppugno." The birds dived for Sirius, who shrieked and waved his arms wildly overhead, trying to protect his face. "I'm not a pretty play thing, Sirius Black. Do not assume otherwise." She spelled her books back to their shelves and marched away. A picture of smug self-assured righteousness. 

Somehow word of the new girl's encounter with the school's heartthrob spread quickly and by the time she returned from the kitchens for a late dinner to the common room, the entire Gryffindor population went silent when she entered. Hermione stumbled through the portrait hole to find, once again, every pair of eyes on her. Lily stood and hurried to her side, face alight with glee. "Is it true?" She hissed, linking her arm through Hermione's and leading her through the silent wide eyed fray. 

"Is what true?" Hermione murmured, gazing around at all the faces. From first year to seventh. Sirius, she noted, was not there. Neither were the rest of his friends. 

"You rejected Sirius Black and set a swarm of angry wasps on him!" Lily looked about 0.5 seconds away from bursting into hysterical laughter. 

"They were birds, not wasps." Hermione corrected, unable to tear her gaze from those staring at her. How many would end up dead in just a few years time. Suddenly Mary and Marlene were at her other side. Also looking at her like she was Merlin's gift to wizard-kind. 

"Oh, I may love you Hermione Granger." Mary cackled. "Sirius has needed putting in his place for years. Tell us everything, you dig?" 

"What?"

Lily, Mary, and Marlene strong armed her onto the sofa opposite the fire place and glared at the rest of the common room until they all turned away. Hermione sank into the familiar sofa cushions and smiled. They were the same ones she'd grown up with but with twenty years less arse-wear. Comfy and pillowy, she sank into the cushions so much her feet lifted from the floor. Tucking her feet beneath her, Hermione turned back to the expectant girls. 

"Gerty Mangle from Hufflepuff said you made him cry." Mary smirked. 

Hermione snorted, "I seriously doubt that." 

"Well Ford Browne from Ravenclaw said Sirius has a big scar on his cheek now." Marlene cut in, looking worried. 

Hermione stilled. That can't be right. Sirius had never had a scar on his cheek. Tattoos, yes. Premature ageing from wrongful imprisonment, absolutely. But no scars. "Wait, really?" Hermione looked up to the boy's dormitory stairs. Perhaps she should check on him. 

Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, Potter is taking care of his boyfriend."

"Potter is your boyfriend, Lils." Mary rolled her eyes. "Not Sirius'." 

"Have you told them that?" Lily retorted, leaning back into the sofa with a sigh. 

"You're dating James?" Hermione asked, keen to get the topic off of her. Lily nodded with a small sweet smile and played with the rings on her fingers. 

"Yeah, sort of started at the end of last year. He's a toe rag but apparently I'm into that." 

The girls laughed and settled further into the sofa. Four grown teenage girls on one sofa did cosy make, and Hermione soon grew warm and sleepy from their company and the roaring fire. She fell silent, glad to let the others lead the conversation. They talked about Lily and James for a while, apparently James had barely seen Lily since carrying Hermione back to the castle, but no one could remember why he seemed so worried. 

"I wasn't in great shape, he must have thought it was pretty serious, what had happened to me." Hermione supplied in a mumble. The girls shot her a wary look and Marlene leaned forward and wet her lips hesitantly. 

"Are you okay?" She asked, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt.

Hermione shrugged. No. Not even a little bit. The girls dropped the subject, for which Hermione was grateful, and moved on to their charms homework. Apparently it was quite difficult. Back home, for that is how Hermione thought of the future, she would have jumped into the conversation headfirst, supplying unwanted advice and taking over their homework for them, lest they do it wrong. But now Hermione was tired. Too bloody tired to try. She stood and murmured goodnight, slipping towards the stairs. Lily watched her worriedly for a moment before turning back to her friends and Hermione ran a hand over her riotous curls. Apart from perhaps scarring Sirius she'd not upset the time continuum for today. Hopefully. 

As she got into bed Hermione thought about how she'd never felt so stressed. How the world seemed to weigh down upon her shoulders, every little movement she made could spell disaster for the people she loved. How many people would cease to exist because of one small tiny decision she made. Had she already disappeared people? Would she know, or would their memory cease to exist to her too. Hermione settled her head on the pillow and made a mental note to see about preserving her memories like Dumbledore did, lest she forget. 

Chapter Text

It was of the upmost importance that Hermione Jean Granger did not stand out. That she lay low in the past until she could find a way home, or worked out what to do. She must not upset the current timeline or all havoc could break loose. Unfortunately, Hermione Granger was the shiny new toy of the school and everyone gawked at her every movement. 

Gritting her teeth, Hermione rushed through the halls of staring students to Ancient Runes. Lily jogged behind her, trying to catch up. "Slow down 'Mione!" Lily exclaimed as they careened round a corner. 

Something sharp bit into her chest and Hermione whirled around. "Don't call me that!" She snapped, skidding to a stop. Lily crashed into the back of her and stumbled away. She looked at Hermione with wide eyes and opened her mouth to apologise but Hermione beat her to it, "Sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. I just... Please don't call me that." Lily nodded and they walked at a more sensible pace to Ancient Runes. 'Mione... Always that name from from one person in particular. Ronald. He danced in Hermione's mind, calling her 'Mione and elbowing her to get her attention. Just this little bit of homework, 'Mione, please? I'd be lost without you! Tears burned as they always did these days and she slid into the classroom and took a seat at the table at the back. Lily slipped into the chair beside her and the rest of the class filed in one by one. 

Professor Babbling began writing on the blackboard as Remus jogged into the classroom, panting and red. "Oh." He stilled, looking down at Hermione and Lily. 

"Sorry Remus, I thought I'd sit with Hermione today." Lily said. He ruffled his messy hair and nodded. 

"Sure, cool beans." He murmured and Hermione raised a brow at the slang that seemed so outdated from home, but of course, was right on trend here. He slid into the seat a desk along, next to a sullen looking Ravenclaw boy with stringy blonde hair. Remus leaned forward past the boy and caught Hermione's eye. "Glad to see you're feeling better." He gulped. Even if Hermione hadn't known he was a werewolf, she would have felt the guilt rolling off of him in palpable waves.

"Thanks." She smiled. Professor Babbling bewitched rolls of parchment to disperse amongst the desks and she caught hers and Lily's before leaning back and getting Remus' attention. "Someone said Sirius has a scar on his face from my birds, is that true?"

Remus blinked and caught his own scroll. "No. He's fine. Wounded ego, but that's good for him if you ask me." Relief flooded through Hermione and she let out a pleased sigh. Not only would she hate to hurt Sirius, who as his future self she was really quite fond of, but no scar meant she hadn't changed the future. But Hermione really must be more careful. 

School work turned out to be a balm for Hermione's soul, which wasn't all that surprising to anyone who knew her. She shared most of her classes with Lily, except for Arithmancy, which she only shared with Remus. Potions, care of magical creatures, and astronomy she shared with them both as well as Peter and James, while she shared Transfiguration, charms, and DADA with everyone. Including Sirius. 

She entered McGonagall's classroom, who somehow looked older than she did at home twenty years in the future, and spied Sirius straight away. Leaning back on the two back legs of his chair, feet on the table and laughing loudly with James. Lily rolled her eyes and flicked her wand at Sirius' chair, which snapped back down, almost folding him in half. He slid his feet from the desk and glanced over at them, immediately souring upon spying Hermione. The slate grey of his eyes narrowed and his cheeks flushed a ruddy pink. She ignored him and found a seat between Lily and Mary. Ignoring the Marauders as much as possible was Hermione's only solid plan at the moment. 

Sirius' eyes stayed on her through the whole lesson. Even when he flawlessly transfigured a suitcase into a large comfy bed, receiving a flurry of wolf whistles and jeers. McGonagall snapped at everyone to behave and turned to Hermione. She placed a rusty watering can onto Hermione's desk and stepped back. Their job was to transfigure objects into something useful but connected. Like a suitcase into a bed, for a weary traveller. Or a wicker basket into a clothing line, for a load of laundry. Hermione considered the watering can and tapped her wand to it's rusty handle. It transformed into a full irrigation system which, when imbued with a simple aguamenti, sprinkled a gentle spray of water down onto the classroom. "Excellent, Miss Granger!" McGonagall said, bestowing a rare smile that caught in Hermione's throat. 

"Thank you, professor." 

In the great hall Hermione was the talk of the school. Her plan to lay low and not draw notice was going abysmally. Her talent and intellect had drawn both jealousy and awe and she found she was the talk of the seventh years no matter the house. Gryffindor were almost chomping at the bit to get to know her, and she strongly suspected Lily was heading off any brave party who approached. Whether it was Sirius' humiliation or Lily's protection, no Marauder came to introduce themselves. Instead, Hermione enjoyed her stew and bread with the girls from her dorm, listening to them chatter away and thinking of the research she had yet to do. When pudding cleared itself away, Hermione stole a look towards Dumbledore, who sat deep in conversation with McGonagall. They were both knitting. She sighed and finished her pumpkin juice before standing to leave. "Going somewhere?" Lily asked, already getting to her feet.

"Library." Hermione said, shouldering her bag. "Don't worry Lily, you go relax. I think I need some quiet time and a good book." She squeezed Lily's elbow and thanked her for standing by her all of today. On a whim, she drew Lily into a hug. "I'm not sure how I would have handled today without you." When she drew back Lily looked fit to burst so Hermione hurried away. 

Her evening passed as it had done the day before. Lost in a mountain of musty old books with nothing to show for her efforts. There had to be something here. Some reference somewhere about anyone passing through time through accidental magic. Perhaps Dumbledore was right and it was about Time recognising her. Grabbing onto her and yanking her back in some perverse reaction to her Point-Me spell. Her modified Point-Me spell. She was looking in the wrong place. Hermione shoved back from her little desk and marched back to the restricted section. Blood magic. That's what she needed. The title was misleading in a way. It didn't always require blood, though it was usually preferred, but something of genetic value was needed in this type of magic. Like a fingernail or a lock of hair. She gathered several books and hauled them back to her little desk where she found a skinny, tall boy with greasy hair leering over her time magic books. "Can I help you?" Hermione asked, startling the boy. 

Snape looked up and drew back, settling his arms across his chest. "Why are you so interested in time magic?" He sneered.

"It's interesting." Hermione replied, marching forward and taking her seat. She ignored Snape, hoping he'd get the hint and leave. He did not. When he stood staring at her for the fifth consecutive minute, Hermione snapped. "What?! What is it? What do you want?" 

Snape sucked his teeth and glanced at her piles of books. Time and Blood magic. A suspicious combination by any means. "Nothing." He muttered, turning away and disappearing between the shelves. Even as a teenager he was creepy as hell. 

§

Her plan to avoid the Marauder's was going swimmingly and she managed to get through her first week of seventh year without talking to them more than absolutely necessary. Sirius avoided her like the plague, except to glare, and James seemed happy to support his friend in that decision. Peter, a spineless little follower, also ignored her and sent narrow eyed dirty looks her way, which Hermione thought was a bit excessive. Only Remus talked to her and she kept it to a minimum. Just things like, 'are you done with that book?' Or, 'do you have a spare quill?' He was shy and quiet, like he was as an adult, and took his studies seriously, which Hermione appreciated. By the following weekend, Hermione was beginning to think she could get through the next few months easily as long as she stuck to this routine. The curious fervour surrounding her sudden appearance had died down and most people ignored her now. Lily, Mary, and Marlene were happy to keep her company without forcing themselves on her, so she found plenty of opportunity to slip away to the library and research. It was late one night, returning from the library, that Hermione upset this fragile balance. She walked along the dark hallways with magically dampened footsteps that thudded softly. She cradled her notes to her chest, keeping an eye out for prefects. It was well past curfew and she really ought to have been in bed hours ago. With any luck, the prefects had already knocked off for the night. Winding her way through Hogwarts's twisting staircases and echoey halls, she made her way back to Gryffindor tower. Turning the corner she found a group of people heading her way, all cloaked in black robes with the hoods pulled up. Immediately unease settled in Hermione's stomach and she considered doubling back and going a different way. But this wasn't her war. She wasn't on the run and hooded people didn't necessarily mean death eaters. 

"Look!" One of the figures hissed, pointing with his wand directly at her. She paled and gripped her notes tighter. "It's the new girl. Hermy-one or something." The urge to correct was strong but not enough to speak. 

"Hermione you uncultured swine, Mulciber." A bored voice drawled. "Honestly have you never read Shakespeare?" It sounded like a younger version of Sirius'. Was that R.A.B? The figure drew back his hood and glared at her. Regulus Black. Hermione met his unwavering gaze and walked forward. "You're out late." Regulus stated as the rest of his group spread out, blocking her path down the hall.

"I was studying, lost track of time." 

Snape shook off his hood and sneered. The shine of his prefects badge on his chest glinted in the weak moonlight. Perfect. "That's not good enough, Granger. Detention with Slughorn tomorrow, I think."

The boys jeered and jostled but she nodded. "Understandable, I'll try not to let it happen again. Goodnight." 

"Not so fast!" Said the one she thought might be Mulciber. One by one the boys took off their hoods, smirking and sneering at her in the dark hallway. "Rumour has it, she's a mudblood."

Her heart beat erratically in her chest and she stepped away, trying to get past with as much distance as possible. Someone manoeuvred into her way and she stood still. "Halfblood. Mum was a witch, dad a muggle." 

The boys looked at one another and made varying sounds of disbelief. "Just what a mudblood would say. Who wouldn't be ashamed of such a dirty upbringing." Said one boy.

She wanted to rip them a new one. Oh Merlin how she wanted to verbally spar with them, tearing down their logic and splitting their resolve in two. Except she had to stay quiet and not draw attention. Especially seeing as at least three of these boys would end up Death Eaters. 

"What's going on here?" Came Harry- no, James' voice. Hermione whipped round to find James Potter and Remus Lupin stood behind her, badges shining on their chest like some academic wild west. 

Snape and Regulus bristled, pure hatred burning in their dark eyes. Snape spoke first. "Student out of bed after curfew."

"Snape gave her detention with Sluggy." Regulus chimed in.

The Gryffindor boys sauntered over to them, hands in pockets and Hermione suspected around their wands. 

"Good." James nodded, "Well she's in my house and we're heading back there now. Nice job lads." Hermione didn't miss the sneers and eye rolls from the Slytherin boys but they loped away, sending glowers back over their shoulders. Once they'd gone Hermione released the sigh she'd been holding onto and slumped into the wall at her back. 

"Thank you."

"S'alright. You okay?" James asked, searching her face. 

Despite almost being cornered for what she was sure had been brewing into a hate crime, Hermione was. "Yeah. Just... unnerved, I guess."

Remus frowned, looking along the hall to where the boys had disappeared. "They're a weird lot." He muttered, offering her his hand and pulled her away from the wall. "Come on, let's get back." 

She walked sandwiched between them and although she couldn't see them, she could hear the sound of another set of feet and the small squeaks of a rodent in the shadows. Sirius and Peter were no doubt walking with them too. "I uh-" Hermione cleared her throat and ignored the looks from the boys at her sides. "I wanted to thank you, for saving my life." She shot her look to James and then Remus as an after thought. The story Hermione had supposedly been told was that all four of them had been out, as far as she knew, Remus had saved her life too. Not almost eaten her like the big bad wolf. 

"Of course." James grinned, puffing out his chest and ruffling his hair. "I'm glad you're okay."

"I am. Thank you." And she really did mean it. Without them, she'd be dead or a werewolf by now. "I know he doesn't much like me right now, but could you pass on my thanks to Sirius, too?" And although it pained her she added, "Uh, and Peter as well." 

They glanced at one another and promised they would. "Why, uh," James messed his hair again. "Why did you attack him with birds? He said he just introduced himself to you." Even Remus gave a long suffering sigh and she suspected James and Sirius would support each other in all rights and wrongs. 

"Is that what he said?" Hermione frowned, coming to an abrupt stop. James nodded and raised a brow, waiting. "He was a chauvinistic dickhead who deserved what he got. Tell him if he doesn't want to be pecked at by birds then he needs to learn to respect women." With that she turned on her heel and marched back to the tower, leaving the Marauders in her wake. 

§

The weekend held the last vestiges of summer and most students lazed by the lake on the rolling green lawns of Hogwarts. The whomping willow swayed lazily in the breeze, occasionally shooting out a long tendril to strike a poor unsuspecting bird or a student that strayed too close. The Marauders were at the edge of the lake, trousers rolled up and splashing one another with icy cold water. 

"Merlin, they're idiots." Marlene rolled her eyes, returning to her book. She lazed next to Hermione on her stomach with her feet crossed at the ankles and swaying idly. Lily, leant against the tree they sat under, looked up from her homework and suppressed a smile. She really did seem fond of them. Mary, spread starfish on a rug in a warm patch of sunlight, her black curly hair fanned around her face, didn't even bother looking before humming in agreement. 

"They're boys." Hermione shrugged, returning to her notes. She'd managed to sneak one blood magic book out of the library and was in the process of notation this fine autumnal afternoon. When she'd announced her plans for a library day at breakfast all three of her dorm-mates had looked utterly horrified and all but dragged her down to the lake with them. Citing the imminent departure of sun from the Scottish Highlands as reason enough. 

"Doesn't automatically make them idiots." Lily reasoned only to be met with dubious silence. "Remus isn't an idiot." She pointed out. 

"Note how she didn't say her boyfriend isn't an idiot." Mary teased, laughing to herself. 

Hermione chuckled, peering at Lily's indignant but resigned look over the top of her notes. James at that moment launched himself at a sodden Sirius, sending them hurtling backwards into the shallow water with a shout. Suddenly a shadow loomed overhead and Hermione looked up to find a damp and rosy cheeked Remus Lupin towering over her. "Mind if I join? I don't fancy a swim." He remarked dryly, helping himself to a seat between her and Lily. 

"Course not Remy-bear." Mary cooed, waving her hand lazily in the sun. 

"You're always welcome, love." Marlene echoed, shuffling until her head lazed in his lap. Idly, Remus stroked her hair and pushed her book back with a long finger until he could read it too. 

Hermione watched the interaction over the top of her book, idly scribbling away between glances. Her former/future professor looked so at ease with the girls. But then again, they were very easy people to get along with. Her Professor Lupin was a tortured soul, full of anguish and hurt and paranoid to a fault when they came to be at war. She remembered him turning up at Grimmauld, asking to come with them on the run, all to avoid his pregnant wife and unborn child. This Remus, a teenager who had experienced pain and anguish yes, but not heartbreak and loneliness, was a world away. Somehow, this was worse than facing those she knew to die. At least she knew Lily and James would lead a short but relatively happy life, full of love and hope. Remus had lived one of pain. Alone. Suddenly he looked up and caught her staring. Hermione fumbled with her notes and several pieces of parchment fluttered out of her grip. He reached over, scooping them up before the breeze carried them away and handed them back to her. 

"Thanks." She murmured. 

Remus smiled tightly and turned back to Marlene's book. When she tried to turn the page he huffed and held it down until he finished before letting her continue. 

The sun had wended further across the sky when the rest of the Marauders, soggy and happy, came and slumped down betwixt the girls. Sirius shook his head like a dog and Hermione had to suppress her snort of amusement. "Ugh! Sirius! Seriously?!" Mary cried, scrunching her nose in disgust and shying away from the spray of algae thick lake water. 

"I'm always Sirius, foxy mama." 

The girls groaned and Hermione rolled her eyes. 

"What? Too chauvinistic for you, Granger?" 

"Just a bit slimy, Sirius." Hermione replied shortly, burying her nose into her book.

He chuffed and lay down, closing his eyes and spreading his limbs in the green grass. His shirt was completely see through, soaking as it was, and he hummed happily under the sun's rays. Not once in the short time she'd known him had he ever looked so carefree and content. Despite everything, it warmed Hermione to see him like this. She turned her attention to James who had managed to wrangle Lily into a damp hug and was pressing soft little kisses to her cheeks and temple, making her giggle and squirm. If she could make it back to Harry she could show him this. Show him all of it. His family at ease and young, without the weight of the world on their shoulders. If she could go home and show him this without changing the future, Hermione would have finally maybe done enough. 

Later, curled up in her old favourite armchair by the fire in the common room, Hermione snacked on a sugar quill and perused her notes from today. There had been instances of blood magic going wrong. Quite a lot of them actually and with varying degrees of severity. It was quite a common side effect of the magic apparently and something Hermione was now kicking herself for not researching properly. What with Bill and Fleur's wedding, packing for the horcrux hunt, the stress of Scrimegeour's visit and the general stress of war, Hermione had read only enough to know how to perform the spell. It was far below her usual research standard and she vowed never to be so short sighted and lazy again. 

"Good book?" Peter asked, landing into the armchair beside her with a heavy thud. 

She didn't look at him but hummed and turned her page. She avoided this Marauder the most. If there was anything that was going to upset the timeline it would be the vengeful murder or maiming of a little traitor like Peter Pettigrew. Except Hermione hadn't witnessed anything snakelike or traitorous from him. Not yet, anyway. He was a people pleasing boy who looked at James and Sirius with stars in his eyes, but other than that seemed a nice enough fellow. He was well liked by the girls and the rest of their classmates and seemed to get on with most people. He could often be found wandering from friend group to friend group, chatting and joking before moving on. He never stayed in one place for long, not unless James and Sirius were there. 

"How are you settling in?" He asked, undeterred by her silence. 

"Alright." She replied, sucking on her sugar quill. It was cinnamon which wasn't her favourite but Marlene had been kind enough to offer and Hermione needed the sugar hit. 

"Copacetic." Peter nodded, looking elsewhere for his next entertainment. Good, go little boy, for I would not wish you back. Just as she thought he was about to leave, he sighed and turned to her, pitching his voice low and serious. Oh fan-bloody-tastic. "Look, I know Sirius can be a bit of a prat sometimes, but give him a chance. He's not all bad, I promise."

She ground her teeth and took a very careful inhale. A scream felt ready to rip from her throat, telling him that he would find him bad enough to frame for mass-murder one day. That he would hate his friends so much he would betray everything they ever stood for and murder two of them in cold blood. 

"I'll take that under advisement." She said through gritted teeth. Peter stared at her for a moment before getting to his feet and stepping away. He disappeared into the fray almost instantly and Hermione wondered if he had the skill naturally or had been honing it, ready for the Death Eaters. The mystery of Peter Pettigrew's betrayal was something she knew haunted Harry and even Remus, who had known him so well. While she was here, gathering memories for Harry, she could try to learn the why of Peter's actions. It wouldn't be happy, but it might mean a lot to Harry and Remus. 

§

Dumbledore did not summon her for a full two weeks after she started at Hogwarts. It was a Wednesday afternoon when a fifth year prefect skipped up to her at lunch with a note from the man himself. Lily, curious as ever, eyed the missive openly and stared at Hermione while she read it. "Everything okay?" She asked, taking a bite of her sandwich. James looked up from his task of feeding the small army that must live in his stomach and glanced at Hermione. 

"Is that from Professor Dumbledore?" He asked around a mouthful of food. 

Hermione nodded and pocketed the note. Revealing nothing. It was merely an invite to his office for tea next week. She wasn't sure what she'd expected, certainly not a note saying; good news! I worked out how to send you back twenty years to the future without premature ageing and massive interruptions to the timeline! Come at once, no need to pack! But she had hoped for something a little more than an invite for tea. 

"What's the matter?" Sirius asked coldly, spooning soup to his mouth. 

"Nothing." Hermione replied, meeting his cool gaze. 

He harrumphed and rolled his eyes. "Doesn't seem it. Seems like something to receive a private invitation to the headmaster's office." 

Saying nothing, Hermione finished her lunch and dabbed at her lips with a napkin. But Sirius wasn't done needling. 

"Been here two weeks, Prongs, and already the headmaster's favourite!" He elbowed James who looked torn between automatic laughter and Lily's approval. Lily won out. 

As did Hermione's temper. "Well it's probably just dead parent things, Sirius Black. So unless you'd like to be envious of my lack of family, maybe let me receive personal notes in peace."

Snatching her bag, Hermione turned to leave and was almost out of ear shot when she heard Sirius mutter, "I am quite envious of that, actually." Marlene and Mary gasped and Hermione whirled back around, marching straight up to Sirius and slapping him clean across the cheek. The sound echoed through the great hall and the afternoon chatter dimmed. He stared up at her wide eyed and cradling his red hot cheek. 

"What the fuck?!" 

Chaos erupted. Students jostled and jeered, vying for a good look at Hermione and Sirius. The head boy and girl were trying to calm the situation and taking very different tactics on it, while Remus and Peter and the girls stared at them both in utter shock. 

"Sirius, that was a terrible thing to say!" Lily hissed, demanding he apologise.

"She slapped him!" James argued back, in lieu of his friend who had not moved a muscle. 

Hermione shouldered her bag and stumbled back away from his ice cold gaze. James and Lily were in a full blown argument by now and tears pooled in Hermione's eyes, blurring her vision and finally breaking her of Sirius' terrible gaze. Set free, she turned her back and ran from the Great Hall, ignoring the shouts of McGonagall and her fellow students. 

The library was her usual refuge, but everyone would know to look for her there. Instead she set out across the school to the astronomy tower. As it was the middle of the day it was empty and she ran up the winding stairs to the very top where she could sit in the chilled wind overlooking the glen and loch. For the second time since being sent back in time, Hermione let herself cry. Properly cry and sob and tear at her chest which threatened to split in two with every shuddering breath. She was, for all intents and purposes, an orphan. Alone in this world with no one, not even an aunt and uncle, to call her own. She didn't know how Harry had survived this, all these years. Oh how she'd taken her parents for granted. Their steadfast love and gentle encouragement. The pride of which they heaped upon her and careful admonishment when she committed wrong. Back in the future she'd felt a fraction of this heartbreak but there had been a hopeful undercurrent, keeping the worst at bay. The thought that after the war was won she would find them in Australia and restore their memories. Returning to their loving arms a hero. But if she never managed to get back to the future, she would be stuck forever an orphan. A fresh sob wracked her body and she folded in on herself, hugging her heaving stomach and squeezing her eyes shut. Tears continued to flow, streaking down her red cheeks and mingling with the snot pouring from her nose. God she was a mess. Suddenly the door to the classroom banged and she startled and turned, finding Sirius Black. He blinked at her, eyes red rimmed and not hard and cold, but empty and dead. Oh. She'd upset him. 

"Crying over your dead parents?" He asked.

Hermione wiped her nose with her sleeve and nodded. 

"I'm crying over my shitty ones. Want company?"

This was the Sirius she knew. Abrupt and brash with little to no tact. Hermione nodded and he slid down on the outcropped balcony, threading his legs through the bars of the balustrade and gazing out over Hogwarts' grounds. "I love this spot." He muttered, leaning his elbows on the lowest rung and his chin on his folded hands. "Everything seems small up here, and no one every makes the climb unless they have to. Lazy sods." He glanced down at her and raised a brow, "I guess you really needed the climb, huh?"

"Guess so." Hermione whispered. 

They settled into silence but neither cried again. After a while she turned to him, cheek resting on her curled up knees, and bit her lip. "Sirius?"

"Hm?" He didn't look at her.

"I'm sorry I slapped you."

He shrugged and scratched at his cheek with his thumb. "Didn't hurt that much."

"Good."

He peered over his shoulder and raised a long black brow. His black curls tumbled to graze his broad shoulders and she was struck again by just how beautiful Sirius had been as a young man. Some people were handsome, James and Remus included, but Sirius was beautiful. Statuesque and possessing the sort of beauty that would have inspired artists throughout history. A far cry from the prison ravaged man she'd met in the shrieking shack. Sirius wet his bottom lip and caught her gaze, "That being said, I would appreciate if you stopped trying to hurt me. It's feeling a little personal now." 

She chuckled and scrunched her eyes shut. It must seem that way, but in her defence, he was an utter prat. "Stop being a dickhead and I'll stop hurting you." She muttered, opening her eyes to find a look of amusement on his handsome face. 

"I'll keep that in mind." He grinned. The setting sun gave one last flare of golden light before dipping below the horizon and Sirius' skin paled from gold to blue. "I'm sorry about what I said about your parents. Or about mine, I guess. I dunno, it's hard to explain." She couldn't tell him that he didn't need to. She knew of his difficult relationship with his mother, whose portrait still screamed obscenities in Hermione's nightmares. 

"You don't have to. I know not everyone likes their parents. Some families were never meant for each other." She rested her chin on her knees and hugged her shins tight. 

Sirius settled his chin back on his hands and followed her gaze out into the darkening vista. Although she loved her parents, there had been a growing gulf between them for a couple of years before she obliviated them. A gulf that seemed to encompass all magic and a question about who that made their daughter. It was part of the reason she spent her summers at the Burrow and her christmases at Hogwarts. Beside the paranoia that Harry would once again find himself in mortal peril at the drop of a hat. 

They stayed like that for ages, until the crescent moon was high in the sky and students began to fill the astronomy tower. "We should go." Sirius mumbled, getting to hit feet and pulling her up with a steady hand. He held onto it, shifting his grip into a handshake. "Truce?"

Finally, something she wanted that she could achieve. "Truce." 

Chapter Text

A truce with Sirius Black actually turned out to be fully fledged friendship. It seemed once she'd adopted the dog, he was always about, demanding fuss and someone to tousle his hair. Hermione let out an 'oof' of surprise as Sirius flopped down onto the common room sofa beside her and deposited his head on her stomach. Grinning up at her, he grabbed her hand, quill still gripped, and began guiding her palm to stroke his hair. 

"Can I help you?" Hermione laughed.

"Yes, stroke my hair please. It relaxes me." 

She rolled her eyes and set down her quill and notes. "Fine. God, you're just like a needy dog." She murmured, enjoying the grin that spread across Sirius' face. 

"Oh, you have no idea, kitten." He chuckled, closing his eyes and humming as her nails scraped his scalp. Back home she'd hated the nickname, but here, seeing Sirius like this... well it spread a content warmth through her that suddenly made it her favourite nickname in the world. Which, again, wasn't a high bar, but it was nice all the same.

Just then, Remus strolled up, a quill balanced between his lips, a cigarette tucked behind his ear, and eyes on the homework in his hand. "Sirius, oh hey Hermione, Sirius have you done the transfiguration homework?"

Sirius snorted and didn't even open his eyes. 

"I'll take that as a no." Remus muttered, sinking into the seat on Hermione's opposite side. The sofa sagged under their combined weight and she sunk further into the cushions. Remus' page flicking and quill scratching soothed her tired head and she slumped down, stretching her legs atop the coffee table and warming her socked feet by the roaring fire. Oh how she'd missed this. It wasn't the same as Harry and Ron, neither had been as tactile as Sirius, or as studious as Remus, but this quiet companionship was just similar enough to send Hermione into a comforted doze. 

Unsure of how long she'd been asleep, she stirred to the sound of a murmured conversation between the Marauders. At some point James, Peter, and Lily had joined them. The weight of Sirius' head on her stomach was still there, but jerking every so often as he talked with his friends. Hermione found herself slumped against Remus' side and the poor boy was so stiff under her weight that she reckoned he must have been keeping very still for quite a long time. She was about to move and free him when the conversation turned to her. 

"I can't believe you two made up so quickly." Peter remarked. "Seriously, what did you do to befriend her?"

Sirius' head wobbled on her belly and she felt him shrug, "We talked a bit. She's not so bad now that she's stopped trying to kill me."

Everyone groaned and Hermione felt a quill miss its mark and hit her outstretched legs. 

"So you're going to stop flirting with her?" Lily asked, a disapproving tone to her voice. 

"Are you jealous Lily-flower?" Sirius crooned and suddenly the weight of his head disappeared followed by several squeals from Lily and some protests from James. 

"Stop trying to kiss my girlfriend you prat!" 

Gently, Sirius' head returned to her belly and Hermione fought the urge to smile. It was oddly nice how tactile he was once he accepted you. But Hermione must not get comfortable. She couldn't get attached. Once she could understand how she sent herself back in time she could reverse engineer the process and hopefully send herself home. Getting attached to these people would only make it harder, not to mention the emotional minefield it was to befriend people who you knew were going to suffer and/or die. Or betray. 

"So you trust her now then?" Remus said quietly and she felt the soft huff of breath ghosting across her curls and face. Chocolate, tea, and mint. Never before had she found someone's breath pleasant but then again, the seventies had provided a lot of firsts for her. 

Sirius' head increased pressure on her belly and she thought he might be tilting his head to look up at Remus. "Of course not Moons, not until she shows her forearm."

"Look now." Peter suggested, igniting outrage from Lily.

"You can't betray her trust like that! She's sleeping!"

Hermione felt it was time to give it up, after all, they'd suddenly grown quite loud. "Not anymore." She mumbled, blinking her eyes open to find the Marauders and Lily staring at her. "S'going on?"

Sirius sat up and turned to face her, folding his long legs with surprising grace. "Would you mind terribly showing us your forearm, given the current political climate and all, you dig?"

A laugh bubbled past her lips, barely stifled and she pushed up the sleeve of her jumper. Her forearm, olive and bare, presented for all to see. "There, happy?" She even presented the other in case the Death Eaters suddenly couldn't tell their lefts from their rights. 

Sirius grinned and dipped down to press a quick kiss to her cheek, "Absolutely, kitten." 

The group relaxed and returned to less worrisome topics, like the charms essay that was due in two days. Hermione settled back into the sofas with a yawn and glanced to her left to find Remus staring down at her with a frown. 

"What?" She whispered.

His mouth tightened and he shook his head. "Nothing." An obvious lie but he scooped up his finished homework and announced he was headed for bed. Her side felt very cold and bereft without him there and she went to bed not long after. 

The gargoyle stepped aside at the password and Hermione walked up the spiral staircase to Dumbledore's office. This time she found him alone and seated at a low sofa with a tray of tea and cakes set out on the coffee table in front of him. "Ah, Miss Granger! Welcome, do sit down. Tea?"

She nodded and accepted a tea gratefully, settling into the seat beside him. "Forgive me sir, but I assumed you wished to discuss my predicament."

Dumbledore twinkled, "I do! But I am rather fond of afternoon tea, dear." He popped a cauldron cake in his mouth and chewed happily, prompting Hermione to do the same. She selected a piece of shortbread and took a nibble. It was buttery and delicious and melted in her mouth. "Now," Dumbledore dabbed at the corner of his mouth with a napkin, "Down to business. How goes the research?"

Hermione sighed. "Not well at all, I'm afraid. I've poured over the books in the restricted section on both Time magic and Blood magic and there is nothing remotely similar to my situation."

Dumbledore pursed his lips. "Yes, I'm afraid that makes sense. I took the liberty of visiting my friends at Beauxbatons and Durmstrang and having a sneaky beaky in their libraries too. Beauxbatons holds a similar collection as ours and was as helpful as I imagined, but Durmstrang offered a large collection of research on Blood magic." Hermione's ears pricked with interest. "You said that your Mr. Potter-"

"Harry." Hermione supplied. 

"Harry," Dumbledore smiled kindly, "had apparated, or you suspected him to. In the act of apparation our corporeal bodies become the stuff of matter. Like star dust amongst the cosmos, but flying through the air as invisible as wind itself."

"We become particles, reduced to the very smallest elements of ourselves." Hermione nodded. She had suspected as much and had actually planned on studying apparation as a personal project in her seventh year had they not gone on the run. 

"Precisely." Dumbledore beamed. "As such it is hard for magic to locate any one person in that state. You mentioned that on the run you apparated several times in order to confuse a potential trace or tracker." Hermione nodded. "If Harry was apparating several times in quick succession it would make sense that your magic, powerful as it was, got confused. That panic you felt, the complete and utter need to find him powered your magic as it would have done as a child."

"Accidental magic brought on by strong emotion." 

"Except instead of vanishing vegetables or growing hair from a haircut, your magic tried it's best to find Harry using the genetic marker you had provided."

"But how did that send me twenty years back into the past?"

Dumbledore smoothed his long beard and sighed, though his eyes were alight with academic curiosity. He was enjoying this, on some level, Hermione realised. And if she were truly honest with herself, she was too. It was fascinating after all. 

"A witch touched by time will forever bear that mark. You were so desperate to find Harry that your magic amplified your modified Point-Me spell so much that it searched through time itself. Instead of finding Harry as you knew him, it found the next best thing."

Hermione's breath stilled. "James."

Dumbledore nodded and took a sip of tea. Her spell and her magic had combined, amplified and driven by intense emotion, to send her hurtling twenty years into the past to find the next best thing along from Harry, his father. It made perfect sense, logically. Or as far as logic could be applied to magic, which tended to shun such a steadfast and reliable concept. Still, it was an explanation, of which Hermione was glad. 

"Okay," She let out a long exhale, "So how do I go home?"

At this Dumbledore's kindly old face darkened and he pursed his lips. "I'm afraid Miss Granger, that will prove to be impossible."

He carried on talking but it became a high pitched whine in Hermione's ears. She wasn't going home. She was lost to time itself and there was no way back, according to the most powerful wizard alive. Staring at the trembling teacup in her hands, Hermione willed her heart to calm but it thudded on in a grip of panic. She wasn't going home. She'd never see Harry again. Or Ron, or Ginny, or her parents. None of the Weasley's. Not Professor Lupin and Tonks. She'd never see their unborn child. Neville or Luna... She'd never know if Harry defeated Voldemort. She was stuck and utterly alone. 

"Oh Miss Granger," Dumbledore produced a handkerchief and it was then she realised was crying. Dabbing at her wet eyes, Hermione fought to control the sobs and sniffles that seized her. It was no use. She'd lost everything. Everything. "Perhaps we ought to discuss next steps another time." He said kindly, rubbing her shuddering back in soothing circles. Once again, he seemed like a kindly grandfather and she understood poor lonely Harry even more. Hermione nodded numbly and buried her face in the handkerchief. "Shall I summon Miss Evans to escort you back to the tower? I shall inform Professor Sinistra that you are unable to attend Astronomy this evening."

"Thank you, sir. I can go alone." Hermione sniffled, standing swiftly and shouldering her bag. The dubious look Dumbledore sent her almost made her laugh. She must look a real picture and when she turned she caught her reflection in the glass fronted cabinet that housed his pensieve. She did look a mess. Puffy and red eyed, her hair had gone frizzy from clutching at her roots and her skin was red and blotchy. Hermione sniffed and smoothed her hair down to no avail before casting a cooling charm on her eyes. Crying solidly for her first year at Hogwarts had taught her many valuable lessons, namely how to make it look as if she'd not been crying in the girls toilets. She turned back to Dumbledore. "I'll come by tomorrow to discuss if you are available?" Dumbledore nodded and gifted her with a worried look before she departed and hurried back to the tower. 

True to his word, Hermione did not receive detention or summons from Professor Sinistra and she spent the entire afternoon and evening holed up in her bed. Curtains drawn and silencing charm active to smother her sobs. When she finally ran out of tears she lay on her side, curled in on herself and staring at the heavy drapery. The girls came to bed and she heard Lily knock on her bed post softly, calling her name. Hermione ignored her and it only took a moment for Lily to get the hint and go to bed. The next day Hermione moved as if on autopilot. Wake, shower, brush teeth, dress, head down to breakfast. She found a space away from the others and ate one mouthful of breakfast before it turned to ash in her mouth. When James and Lily picked up their plates and silently sat down on either side of her she felt such a surge of gratitude and spite rush forth in equal measure that it felt as if her blood would burst from her body. She gripped her knife and fork, staring unseeing at her cold breakfast and un-drunk tea. James and Lily carried on talking, providing a low murmur of companionship that Hermione both craved and abhorred. It was too much, too confusing. They felt and looked like Harry and Ginny in her peripheral and the image made her eyes burn. She was about to snap when Remus plonked down in front of her and sent her a small smile before continuing to shovel food in his mouth at a ungodly rate. She stared at him, unable to look away. The way his hair and skin were almost the same colour, a brilliant tawny brown that made him warm and inviting just to look at. The slight arch in his nose, bisected with a shiny scar that caught the light as he moved. Those pretty hazel eyes that flickered to her every so often. If he found it strange, her staring, he made no notion of it and carried on as if she weren't openly gawping at him. Eventually Peter and Sirius moved down as well, missing James probably, and the volume grew much louder. She caught Remus' eye and sent him a desperate look. As if telepathically linked he nodded and pushed away his breakfast. "Hermione, can you look over my arithmancy homework?" He asked, casual as day. 

"Sure." She rasped, shoving her breakfast away and grabbing her bag. "Library?" 

He nodded and they walked from the Great Hall together. 

"Did you actually have homework you needed looking at?" She asked when they were in a quiet hallway and the suffocating press of memories had subsided. Remus shook his head and they stopped at an alcove that jutted out and overlooked the cliff face that rocketed down to the inky waters of the Black Lake. Hermione sat on the stone cold bench seat and leaned against the wavy old glass that separated them from the elements. Situating himself across from her, Remus sighed and stretched his long legs out until they came either side of Hermione's. He closed his eyes and used one hand to rub his temples and the other to rub small circles into the front of his hip.

"Are you alright?" She asked. The full moon was in a few days and she knew from her experience with his adult self that he was feeling sick, tired, and achey. 

"Coming down with something. You'll come to learn this, but I get ill a lot." He gave a rueful smile and closed his eyes again.

"What's wrong?" She blurted and realised her blunder when Remus visibly stiffened, the apple of his throat bobbing up and down. 

"Feels like the flu." He muttered, dropping his hands in his lap and keeping his eyes closed. 

"Headache?"

He grunted and winced, as if the sound hurt him. Hermione withdrew her wand, a sudden memory of her time at Grimmauld flooding back to her. Lupin had been sequestered in a dark room surrounded by dust and dark objects and what Hermione was fairly certain was a doxy infestation in the drawn curtains. She stumbled across him while searching for a quiet place to study for her GCSE exams, a prerequisite of her studying at Hogwarts was to also get muggle qualifications that her parents knew and trusted. Lupin had been laying down on an old sofa with springs and stuffing visible beneath his prone form. She'd apologised and turned to leave but he grunted at her not to bother. He said he ought to be leaving anyway for Order duty and lifted his wand to his temple and grit his teeth. He murmured a spell and a light blue light encased his forehead, he sighed in relief and shot her a small smile before bidding her goodbye and leaving her to her studies. 

"May I try a healing spell? I've only seen it done once, but they suffered badly from headaches too." She asked quietly. Remus squinted at her but nodded. "Frigidus Sanguis." A cool blue light surrounded his forehead and he sighed and slumped against the stone wall behind him. 

"Oh that's good." He hummed, his pinched features smoothed out. Finally, when the light faded and Hermione re-pocketed her wand, Remus opened his eyes and thanked her. "You'll have to teach me that."

"Sure." Hermione smiled, glad to have helped him. The school bell rang, echoing through the great castle and they got to their feet, heading for Transfiguration. 

Dumbledore wasn't free until after dinner that evening and when he sent a note saying so, no one commented. After all, her last meeting with Dumbledore had left her catatonic and non verbal almost. "I'm heading to the library, I'll walk you." Lily offered and they gathered their things and set off. They settled into a companionable silence, Hermione's previous meeting weighed heavy on her mind. Lily didn't poke and prod like Hermione expected, though her curiosity was obvious in her perpetual glances and the chewing of her lip. Finally they made it to the headmaster's office and Hermione muttered the password and squeezed Lily's elbow, promising to find her after. The heat of Lily's curious gaze settled on Hermione's back as she climbed the stairs until, thankfully, the stone blocked her from view and she carried on alone. 

Dumbledore's office door was ajar but Hermione knocked anyway, peering round the wood. Instead of tea and cakes, Dumbledore was enjoying a glass of firewhiskey on his sofa. He waved her in and conjured her a glass. 

"Really?" Hermione laughed, sliding into the seat beside him.

"Well dear, you may be a student, but you are eighteen and as your headmaster, I imagine myself to be quite sufficient supervision."

Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, Hermione took the proffered tumbler and took a small sip. She'd tried firewhiskey before at Grimmauld, under Sirius' lack of supervision with Ginny and the twins while avoiding Molly's watchful eye. She hadn't liked it then and as the fiery liquid coursed down her throat, she found she didn't like it now either. Pulling a face, she shot Dumbledore an apologetic look and placed the glass back down. 

"Supervision not needed, it would seem." Dumbledore chuckled and vanished her glass, replacing it with a hot tea. Of this, she took a grateful drink, washing away the cinnamon spice of alcohol. Settled, she braved a look at the old wizard and he assumed a serious expression. "I wish to apologise for yesterday. I could have handled the news with a lot more tact and grace, I'm afraid I blindsided you, which was not my intention."

Hermione shrugged. Whether he'd broken it to her with all the grace and tact in the world it wouldn't change the fact she'd lost everyone and everything she'd ever loved. 

He carried on, "Now, I'm afraid we must discuss your future here. Obviously you will stay on to finish your NEWTs, I have been regaled with tales of your academic prowess and I am sure that upon finishing, you will secure yourself a job in no time."

"I wish to join the Order of the Phoenix." Hermione stated, her voice strong and steady. 

"Miss Granger, I'm not sure..."

"If I can't return home I can help."

"You know too much." 

Hermione shook her head. "For this time period I do not know specifics. I cannot act as a seer. I only know some who will be killed with a vague sense of when for the most part. I know a handful of people's fates, which while it is painful to exist around them, I know I cannot change it. I know I must exist not as a catalyst but as an observer, Professor." 

He considered her statement, stroking his beard and pursing his lips. After several moments he lifted his bright blue eyes to hers and quirked a brow. "Will you be able to temper yourself? I've seen how you react to stress and slights, Miss Granger."

"I can control myself."

He raised his white bushy brows but said nothing. He took a sip of firewhiskey and leaned back, crossing one leg over the other under his long velvet robes. Several long moments later he inhaled tentatively, "Hypothetically, for this can only be a hypothetical. Do not reveal anything I cannot un-hear, Miss Granger." He warned and Hermione sat up straight, preparing her for the onslaught. "Do you know the fate of Voldemort."

"I do not." 

"Your life, in the nineties, was it a good one? A safe one?" 

He was asking if his efforts in this war, the only war as far as he was concerned, were for the greater good. If it was worth it. Hermione chewed her inner cheek and thought of her words carefully. 

"Like any life we had pockets of happiness, despair, fear, and joy. I faced prejudice for my blood, increasingly so in the past few years." It would get better then worse again, she communicated. Dumbledore hummed, nodding his head idly as if processing her testimony. Then, pinching the bridge of his nose, he gave a tired sigh and deposited his glass on the table at his knees. Leaning back, Dumbledore shot her a small smile with just a hint of his normal twinkle.

"Forgive me dear, I am just an old man full of questions."

"Curiosity is natural." Hermione murmured back, draining the last of her tea. They sat side by side for a while, listening to the tick tock of the grandfather clock in the corner and the murmurings of portraits on the walls. She recognised Phineas Nigellus Black, Sirius' ancestor and former headmaster of Hogwarts. He sneered down at her gaze and disappeared from frame, no doubt to Grimmauld Place. Her blood ran cold. "Professor, Old Headmaster Black has gone."

"Hm? Oh yes, he does that a lot. Prefers to sit with his descendants. Your friend Sirius Black's parents."

"Yes I know." Hermione turned to him, concerned. "Won't he tell them of what we have discussed?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "He cannot. All portraits are sworn to serve the interests of the current headmaster of Hogwarts. Unless I wished him to, he could not breathe a word of our discussions to anyone."

"Good. Because they're death eaters." Hermione said and Dumbledore inhaled sharply. 

"You cannot tell me of the future."

She scoffed and shook her head, "It's not the future, sir. Surely you must already suspect, if not know of their allegiance. Sirius goes to the Potter's in the holidays, does he not?" Dumbledore nodded, wary. "Why do you think that is? Why do you think he and his brother do not speak anymore?"

"It is not my place to involve myself in family squabbles." 

Hermione had to laugh at that. "Okay sir, sure." A wave of prickling heat rushed through her, and she shot to her feet. Dumbledore certainly hadn't had a problem inserting himself in Harry's childhood. Not when it suited him. She stared down at him, with his twinkling blue eyes and long nose. Suddenly everything about the man annoyed her. Usually she had the utmost respect for the wizard but right now she wanted to scream at him. So she turned and headed for the door. 

"Miss Granger!" Dumbledore called to her. "We have to discuss your future!"

"It's like you said Professor." She paused, grabbing the rusting old door handle, "I shall get my NEWTs, get a job, and join the Order. I won't interfere or stop the future from unfolding, no matter how much I might wish to. Goodnight Professor." With that she slipped out the door and closed it behind her with a definitive click. Rushing down the spiral steps, Hermione marched for the library, to now, as she always did, do just has she had promised. That started with eleven Outstandings at the end of the school year. 

She found Lily at a study table with several books spread before her. Her hair was piled high on her head and secured by her wand, a quill grasped between her teeth and her red brows furrowed in concentration. "Hi." Hermione said, dumping her bag on the table and extracting her homework. 

Lily startled and looked up. "Oh, hi. Go okay?"

Hermione nodded and settled into a seat across from her, spreading out her parchment, ink, and quill. Lily stared at her warily for one more moment before returning to her work. Hermione's homework stared at her, unblinking and totally and suddenly utterly pointless. Anger roiled deep in her gut and Hermione spent most of her concentration on just breathing. She wasn't going home. She was going to lead an unremarkable existence as a bystander in a war where she could actually make a difference and knowingly save lives. Save Sirius from a fate almost worse than death, Remus too. She could save James and Lily and give Harry a safe and loving childhood. Terrible things happen to those who mess with times, but the worst had already happened to her and was poised and ready to smite everyone else too. People who did not deserve this! It took several tries for Lily to get her attention and it was only when the girl threw a balled up bit of parchment and struck Hermione on the head did she startle out of her reverie. 

"Huh? What?" Hermione blinked.

"I asked if you were alright, your parchment is smoking."

Hermione looked down and to her surprise found her half finished essay to be lightly smouldering, sending off fumes of burnt paper. She flexed her fingers and scooted back in her chair. "Oh. Sorry." 

Lily shot her a sympathetic look and put down her quill. "So the meeting with Dumbledore didn't go okay?" No use in lying now. Hermione shook her head. Lily made a sympathetic noise and reached across the table to grasp Hermione's hand. "I'm sorry, Hermione. Is there anything I can do?" She shook her head once again. Not unless Lily suddenly became incredibly competent in time magic. There was nothing anyone could do and the whole situation highlighted just how useless Hermione felt. Suddenly she shot to her feet and clenched the hem of her skirt. 

"I uh, I think I need to go for a run or something." She muttered, her heart pounding hard and fast in her chest. Hermione had never been one for exercise, but right now all she could fathom was this need to run. Her pulse jumped and jittered, and her heart felt as if it might tear through her ribs and gallop away. She must chase the feeling, run as far and fast as she could until she caught up to her heart. 

"Uh if you're sure." 

"Great." Hermione shot her a slightly manic smile and Lily looked increasingly worried. Waving her wand over her clothes she transformed them into a t-shirt, trainers, and running leggings. Lily tilted her head and eyed the clothes with confusion. It was then that Hermione realised she'd adopted nineties fashion, not seventies. But who gave a shit! Her life was infinitely changed and they were leggings! Leggings! Who gave a fuck?! Hermione asked Lily to take her stuff back to the tower and before she could answer turned on her heel and ran. She ran through the library, something a younger Hermione would have been stricken over, ignoring the shouts of Madame Pince and grumbles of OWLs and NEWTs students. A few younger years hollered and laughed, asking where the fire was, but she ignored them and ran. Placing one foot in front of the other and just legging it for anywhere but this godforsaken castle.  

The cool night air broke over her in a wash of pure oxygen and Hermione felt slightly light headed. But her steps did not falter and she pressed on. Flying over the gravelled pathways and cobbled stones until she found the damp springy grass of the knolls and greens of Hogwarts. She broke into a sprint, galloping across the clear expanse of the hills and for the lake. Her lungs burned, protesting sharply beneath the lack of oxygen. She couldn't breathe but still she pressed on. On and on and on and on. At some point she slipped on uneven terrain and her ankle smarted but still she ran. Footsteps thudding and squelching in the wet grass until it gave way to the stones of the lakeshore. The pebbles crunched under her quick feet and she ran and ran. Suddenly she was reminded of the times in fourth year where Viktor Krum would run around the shores of the lake, shooting her flirtatious little looks. Another crack opened in her heart, spurring her on. She'd not thought of him in years but there he was, gone and never to be seen again by her. The boy that had seen beauty in her before anyone else. Who had made her feel desired and pretty. She'd never see him again. A sob tore through her and she pressed on. Running, running, running. The department of mysteries battle popped into her busy mind next, seizing what little breath she'd managed to take. The absolute terror that fuelled her and her friends, running through the Ministry and fighting for their lives. For Sirius'. That even though she knew it had been a trick, still she went along for Harry. Gullible paranoid Harry. Her vision blurred but she didn't stop, skirting between the edges of the forbidden forest and the lake. She was so stupid! If she'd just taken a harder line with him, told him to visit Grimmauld first and find him sitting there, stewing in misery, Sirius would still be alive. Or would be alive. Hermione screamed in frustration and took out her wand from the waistband of her leggings. She fired shot after shot, curse after curse. Sending terrible hexes she'd only ever been on the receiving end of into the air. They withered out uselessly after a flash and flare. But it was enough. Hermione slowed to a stop, doubling over and bracing her hands on her knees. Her chest heaved and nausea roiled in her stomach. She'd only been eating three square meals a day for a little under a month and before that had been cold and starving in a tent. Her body wasn't used to this at all. As such, she threw up. Vomiting onto the pebbles beneath her feet. Suddenly exhausted, Hermione fell to her hands and knees, narrowly avoiding her puddle of vomit. Panting hard, she glanced up across the lake to where Hogwarts stood tall and towering in the distance. Her home but not. 

Gingerly, she got to her feet and pushed her hair back from her sweaty face. Suddenly it was hard to move. She had nothing left. Nothing at all. Somehow she put one foot in front of the other and made it back to the Gryffindor tower long after curfew. 

§

Hermione moved through life in a haze after that day. Attending lessons but hardly participating. Sitting with her dorm-mates and the Marauders but not really engaging. She stopped eating, it was too much effort. She did the bare minimum to survive and still felt exhausted each day. On the day of the full moon she decided to sit beside Remus, who looked as miserable as she felt, and they glared at anyone who came too close. It was nice to have a partner in misery, whether Remus felt the same way he didn't say, but he didn't push her away either. As the sun began to dip, Hermione spared him the responsibility of making an excuse and muttered that she was going to bed early. Quite on a whim, she kissed his cheek and said she hoped he felt better in the morning. Remus stared after her as she walked away. 

The morning after, she came down to breakfast to find Lily and the girls, no sight of the boys at all. "Where is everyone?" She murmured, pouring herself a coffee and ignoring milk and sugar. It was bitter and hot and gave her a jolt that was much needed to make it through Ancient Runes that morning. 

"Hospital wing." Marlene sighed. "Poor Rem, he's always getting ill."

Mary hummed around her spoon and tilted her head in thought. "Honestly, if I didn't know for a fact that he didn't have the right bits then I'd think it was bad period cramps. It's always once a month." Interestingly Lily stiffened and gave an affected shrug. 

"I think it's genetic." Lily muttered, spooning porridge into her mouth. 

Hermione decided to back her up, "That makes sense. My mum inherited an auto-immune disease from her father." It was true and Hermione had spent many days helping to care for her mother during a flare up. Then a different part of Mary's sentence caught her attention. "Hang on, you know for a fact he has the 'right bits'?" 

Mary smirked and shot a look at Marlene, who was pink cheeked and avoiding everyone's eyes. "Marlene and Remy-bear had quite the little romance in fifth year. I was looking for Sirius and accidentally walked in on them."

Hermione gasped, "No!" Marlene glowered at them all and shovelled so much porridge in her mouth her cheeks bulged. 

Marlene swallowed with great difficult and shrugged. "It was a hormonal blip. We're just friends now." 

Stifling the first smile she'd had in days, Hermione chuckled to herself and actually ate something. The girls, who had not been subtle in their monitoring of Hermione's eating habits, smiled and decided that talking about boys was probably as good an antidote to Hermione's depression as any other. 

Lily regaled her with the many tales of James' wooing attempts. "Honestly it started the moment he spied me on the train and hasn't really stopped since." Then Mary took to lamenting over her on-off again romance with Sirius, of which she put to a firm end last year when she caught him in a broom cupboard with a friend from Hufflepuff. "Honestly, I can't believe I entertained him that long. He's gorgeous, sure, but such a prat." Then Marlene detailed the short lived but sweet romance she and Remus had embarked on in fifth year. "It was fun but honestly a bit weird. We decided we'd be better off as friends." 

Armed with a much more intimate knowledge of her friends' romantic lives then she'd ever had before, Ron-Lavender tongue slinging debacle notwithstanding, Hermione went about her lessons with a little more life in her chest. It wasn't important in the grand scheme of things, but neither was Hermione. Not anymore. At lunch she decided to visit Remus in hospital. She acquired a large bar of chocolate from the house elves and walked to the hospital wing, where she found Remus lying in bed and watching the ridiculous antics of his friends. "Hi." She waved, coming to the foot of his bed. Sirius and James stopped, mid wrestle, and waved at her before continuing. Peter rolled his eyes and shuffled along to free up a seat for Hermione. 

"Hi." Remus smiled. He looked tired but she couldn't see any more scars. 

"The girls said you were in here, I didn't know if you'd be up to eating, but I brought you this. To feel better." She handed him the large bar of chocolate and almost laughed at the actual joy shining in his eyes. 

"Thanks." He grinned sleepily, tearing open the foil and taking a large bite. "Don't tell Pomphrey." He whispered and Hermione smiled and promised she wouldn't. The bell rang and the other three boys all groaned. 

"Divination time, lads." Sirius announced, wiggling his fingers and widening his eyes as if to see into an imaginary crystal ball.

Hermione snorted. "Good luck."

"You don't believe in the Sight, kitten?"

She rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair, resting her ankles crossed on Remus' bed. "The Sight, sure. Divination? It's a load of bollocks."

Sirius and James whistled, utterly delighted and left with a wave. Poor Peter shuffling along behind them, quite forgotten. 

The afternoon sun shone in yellow and low, hitting Remus and making him almost glow, despite his sickly pallor. "How are you feeling?" She asked. 

Remus stretched and groaned, wincing at some joint that popped. "Like I've been hit by a train. You?"

"I'm not sick." Hermione blurted. 

He looked at her from the corner of his eye, brows raised and a little too expectant for Hermione's nerves. 

"I'm not." She repeated firmly. 

"Okay. My mistake." Remus sighed, closing his eyes in the low warm sun. With a free period, Hermione usually would have holed herself up in the library and got a head start on any homework or, if that was all finished, she'd have done extra reading and assigned herself her own extra work. But she hadn't the energy to do such a thing and instead slumped down in her chair at Remus' bedside. He opened a bleary eye and smiled at her twiddling her thumbs and staring at out the window. A square of chocolate appeared in front of her nose and she took it, popping it in her mouth and humming at the melty goodness. 

"Thanks." She mumbled stickily. Remus waved it away and ate his own square. In silence, they watched the sun track across the window and ate chocolate until the bar was finished and Madame Pomphrey kicked her out. 

At dinner Remus appeared with a limp and looking a bit grey but not terribly ill. James, Sirius, and Peter welcomed back their weary traveller with open arms and far too much noise, wrestling Remus into a seat between them and then dropping to hushed tones. Hermione caught the words 'prank' 'big comeback' and 'please, Moony!' several times. At some point poor Remus must have acquiesced and Sirius sat back with a triumphant grin. 

Feeling like causing a little chaos, Hermione bit down a smirk and lifted her chin. "What's with the nicknames?"

Instantly the girls groaned, "Don't bother." Mary sighed.

"They've told us a million excuses and each one is crazier than the last." Marlene chimed in. Lily, interestingly, stayed silent. 

"C'mon, it can't be that wild. It's not like you're all animagus' or something and nicknamed yourself after your animals." Hermione snorted, eyes glittering at the sheer panic on each of the Marauder's face. James whirled to Lily wide eyed but before she could cause a relationship rift, Hermione laughed and leaned forward. "So really, what is it? Why Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs?" It wasn't lost on her that she'd used the order on the map, either. Was she playing with fire? Absolutely, but it made her feel a little more alive so she indulged. 

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her and sucked his canine. "What makes you think about animagus'?" 

She shrugged, "Well we just started studying it with McGonagall, I guess it's that." 

The boys shot each other furtive looks that really weren't all that subtle. 

"Why? Was I right?" Hermione grinned, winking at Sirius who's cheeks grew increasingly pink. With challenge or panic, Hermione wasn't sure. 

Interestingly Peter jumped in. "Yep, you got it! I'm a big fat rat." He grinned, winking at Marlene who wrinkled her nose. 

"Ugh, shut up, Pete." She and Mary chimed. Oh, he is clever, Hermione thought. 

"Yeah! I'm a walrus, hence prongs." James added, sticking his fingers down from the corners of his mouth and making what Hermione was sure he thought a walrus sound. Lily rolled her eyes and laughed, hitting him lightly until he stopped and began pecking at her with his finger tusks. She squealed with laughter until James eventually silenced her with a sloppy kiss that made everyone else roll their eyes. Animagus talk forgotten, the group went back to to their dinner. Still, as Hermione ate and talked with Mary about the woes of curly hair care, she felt Sirius and Remus' eyes on her. She glanced to them and quirked her brow in challenge. Remus dropped his gaze but Sirius, always one to challenge, merely smiled. Something sly and cunning and a reminder of his family's Slytherin legacy. 

Chapter Text

While Hermione was feeling a little better and eating more, there was still this listless numb feeling that weighed her down. Dragging after her with every footstep and begging her to return to bed or push away her food. But Hermione wasn't a quitter. Hermione Granger did things, she fixed things. So she went about her days as normally as she could, watching the leaves turn umber and fall, doing her school work to a high standard but not her standard, and despite her best intentions growing closer with the Marauders and the girls. It was an act of idiocy, Hermione decided late one night, holed up in her dorm with the girls. Mary had procured a bottle of fairy wine off of her paramour in Ravenclaw and shared it with them while they gossiped and laughed. It had taken a good fifteen minutes to convince Lily to partake but once she did, the flood gates had opened. 

"So!" Mary gasped, pouring Lily a hefty glass of wine. The poor girl was already flushed and hiccuping. "Have you and James done it yet?"

"Done what?" Lily slurred, greedily gulping down the wine. 

"It!" Mary and Marlene chimed. Hermione rolled her eyes and stole Lily's wine, taking a large sip. 

"Don't answer if you don't want, Lils." 

Lily shook her head fiercely. "No!" 

"No as in you haven't or no as in you won't answer?" Marlene asked, sloshing wine onto her brown speckled rug. 

"Neither! Both!" Lily proclaimed loudly before bursting into a fit of giggles. "God, he's so fit though." She whined, falling backwards on the rug until her head hit her bed and her chin pressed into her chest. "Have you seen his abs! His arms!" She garbled, her voice constricted by her odd position.

The girls shrieked and slapped one another in excitement. Hermione didn't quite see it, but it was probably because Harry had been a carbon copy of his father, therefore James looked distinctly brotherly to Hermione. Suddenly Mary turned to Hermione, dark eyes glittering with mischief. 

"Hermioneeeeeee?" She drew out her name, until she ran out of breath, then took a big gasp to refill her lungs.

"Yes, Mary?" Hermione asked, much less inebriated than her friends. 

"Who do you fancy?"

The others whirled to face her, unsteadying themselves and almost sprawling over the rug. 

Hermione merely shrugged. "No one."

"No?" The girls narrowed their eyes in suspicion. "Not even Sirius?"

Hermione sniggered and lay back, letting her brown curls fan around her head. "Lord no. His ego doesn't need anymore stroking."

"Oh but he does love a stroke." Mary giggled earning a series of groans and wretches from everyone else. 

"What about Remus?" Lily asked and the room grew quiet. 

Hermione wet her lip and swallowed, "I don't fancy anyone." For some reason this felt like a lie. But it didn't matter. No one from this time could be hers. Remus was destined to marry Tonks, no matter how unhappy he seemed to have been at the prospect. The girls shot each other looks but didn't press, instead turning their attention to Mary's latest boyfriend. 

It was another weekend at Hogwarts and for the first time in her academic career, Hermione found herself unwilling to do homework or extra work. Instead of the usual long Saturday in the library followed by a shorter but equally studious Sunday, Hermione found herself with two days of gloriously empty hours. It was very strange and Hermione found her heart beat rather erratically at the thought. "Are you alright?" Remus asked, a cooked sausage halfway to his mouth. She met his pretty hazels and nodded tightly. 

"Yeah, fine. Why?"

His cheeks pinked but he dropped his gaze. Sirius clapped his hands down on Hermione's shoulders, using her for balance as he slung one long leg over the bench then the other, taking a seat beside her. "Well kitten, what's the plan for today? Studying followed by a bit of reading, then perhaps finding the cure for Dragon Pox after lunch?"

"Nothing." Hermione answered honestly. The entire group stilled and stared at her. "What?"

Peter laughed and licked his lips of pumpkin juice. "Well, it's just since you've been here you've never not had school work. What, did you finish it all?"

"An entire year's worth?" Hermione scoffed. "No, I just, don't have anything pressing this weekend."

"Nothing?" James echoed. 

"Nothing."

They all stared at one another and then back at her. "Fucking hell she can relax." Sirius snarked, bumping his shoulder into hers. 

"Shut up, Sirius." She rolled her eyes and downed her coffee. Still the only breakfast she could stomach. 

"No, no, that's a compliment! I was starting to think you were McGonagall in a foxy teenage body." He winked and she knew she'd gone pink from the compliment. She knew he'd noticed when his grey eyes sharpened and his canines glinted. "We should have some fun." He declared, his voice just on the wrong side of raspy. 

Her cheeks heated and she found a very strong urge to run to the library regardless. "What constitutes fun in your book, Sirius?" 

Everyone else groaned except for James who was practically bouncing with excitement. "What doesn't?" Peter muttered from down the table. 

"Well, depends what you're looking for, Granger." Sirius sighed, leaning into her side. He smelled of spicy aftershave and it burned her nose. Like he'd put on too much. She shot Remus a desperate look, wishing she was sat next to him and his calming earthy scent instead. Remus wasn't looking at her though, his hazel eyes were narrowed quite viciously on Sirius who ignored him outright. "There's a trip to Hogsmeade. Illicitly, of course."

"How-?" She began to ask then remembered where she'd learned about the secret passageway to Honeydukes. 

"I have my ways, kitten." He winked and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She slowly turned her head to look at his hand, rubbing circles with his thumb into her shoulder, then looked back at him with a wry brow raise. 

"Remove your arm before I curse it off, Black." She smiled sweetly. 

Remus choked on a laugh while James outright chortled and the girls laughed. Rejecting Sirius would never get old, it seemed. 

"Noted, Kitten." Sirius grinned, removing his arm and giving her more space. "I like my face all nice and pretty and I do need two arms."

"Why? You're adept with just one." Peter made a crude motion that caused Marlene to chuck her scrambled eggs at him. He ducked and dived, catching a mouthful in his open gob. He chewed grotesquely, his mouth open in a satisfied grin as eggs squelched noisily between his cheeks. 

"I'll curse your hand off if you're not careful, Pettigrew." Hermione muttered.

Peter snorted and his watery blue eyes twinkled mischievously and suddenly he was just a boy. A boy who liked to make wank jokes and tease his friends. An inexplicable feeling washed over her and the need to run was back. Run away from these people worming themselves into her heart. It was too much. Too dangerous. She made her rasping excuses, shoved back to stand and turned on her heel before anyone could convince her otherwise. 

It was good to run, to get out of her head and move. Running hard in the lazy sunshine along the soggy edges of the lake, her feet pounded the pebbles, sending jolting pain through her knees. But she kept going. Fortunately, she'd remembered to change into era appropriate workout gear and ran in a loose tank and running shorts. Stopping at the far edge of the lake, she turned and looked back to school. Several students, wrapped in cloaks and scarves, were milling about. Trying to enjoy the sun despite the cold. Her breath puffed in front of her face and she panted hard. With her hands on her hips she noticed just how much they protruded now. She'd lost the weight she'd gained since hurtling back in time.

"Damn." She murmured, running his thumbs over her sharp hipbones.

It wasn't that she didn't want to eat it was just everything tasted like ash and made her nauseous now. Turning back to the castle, she began to jog back. Perhaps she ought to go down to the kitchens and ask for something plain that wouldn't upset her stomach. The elves would be more than happy to feed her and she always made sure to ask nicely. Decided on a course of action, she ran back to the castle and straight down to the kitchens.

It smelled of freshly baked bread with a burgeoning smell of cooking beef swimming in the air. She knocked on the hidden entrance and an elf appeared. It didn't take long for Hermione to be situated in the kitchen with a ham sandwich and a cup of tea. She ate slowly, trying to chew every bite and force it down. It still tasted awful but at least she was eating.

She was almost finished when another student wandered in. Tall and willowy like his brother, but without the air of cheek and mischief. Regulus Black stilled upon spying her and turned to leave.

"I'm almost done." Hermione said, stuffing the last of the bread in her mouth and chewing it. "Enjoy." She got up to leave and Regulus watched her go. Before she left, she stopped at his side and turned to him suddenly. "Do you really believe it?"

He narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"All that bullshit about muggles and muggleborns?" Hermione probed, unable to help herself. It wasn't meddling. Just a question. Especially for someone she knew would defect eventually. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Regulus replied stiffly. She scoffed but dropped the issue. Hermione thanked the elves and left. 

When she returned to the common room she found it mostly empty. Everyone else seemed to have had the same idea and was enjoying the great outdoors or catching up on homework. A few students milled about but only Remus was there from seventh year. "Hey." She waved, coming over to where he lay on the sofa, reading a very well worn copy of Frankenstein. 

"Hey, wow you really did go for a run." He blinked at her, hazels running from her bare legs up to her face. "Well done you."

She rolled her eyes with a grin, "Thanks. Quite the achievement. I'm gonna shower, I stink."

"No you don't." Remus blurted, the tips of his ears immediately going bright red. 

"I don't?" Hermione asked, crossing her arms and leaning into one hip. A smile danced at the corners of her lips as Remus grew increasingly flustered. She'd never seen a flustered Remus before. In the future he was steadfast and reliable with a quiet intelligence that permeated everything he did. But he'd been in his thirties then. He was just seventeen now. 

"No, you smell good. Not good-I mean not not good, just fine, y'know." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before meeting her amused gaze. "You smell... fine." 

She chuckled and ruffled his hair, enjoying the way his cheeks flushed even more. "Well, I'm still going to shower. Bye Rem." 

"See ya." He groaned and as she trotted up the stairs she could have sworn she heard him call himself an idiot. 

When she returned downstairs he was still lying on the sofa but Frankenstein no longer provided entertainment, but an eye mask. His soft snores were barely audible over the crackling fire and she plucked his book from his face and lifted his legs to settle them across her lap. Remus stirred, blinking and found her reading his book. "I was reading that." He mumbled.

"With your eyes closed? Quite the talent, Remus. You must teach me that sometime." Hermione smiled, keeping her nose in the book. It had always been one of her favourites and she knew it like the back of her hand. 

He didn't say anything, instead crossing his arms over his chest and settling further into the sofa. Closing his eyes, he let out a content sigh and went back to sleep. 

He didn't wake until much later when the sky began to darken and the wind picked up. As such everyone began to make their way back to the common room and James, Sirius, and Peter clattered in with a roar of laughter, broomsticks in hand. James spied Remus' snoozing form and crouched low, tiptoeing across the rug and holding a finger to his lips at Hermione. She debated waking Remus but never got the chance as James flopped down onto Remus' belly, waking him with a shout. 

"Fuck! James! Gerrof!" Remus groaned, shoving at James. The resulting cackle incited a veritable dog pile as the other Marauders flung themselves on top of their friends and Hermione only just extracted herself in time. Lily sidled up beside her with an unimpressed look. "Animals, the lot of them." 

Sirius looked up, wavy black hair arcing back, and winked. "You have no idea, Lils." 

"Ugh." Lily rolled her eyes fondly and looped her arm through Hermione's. "Have a good run?"

Hermione nodded and they ambled up to the dorms, leaving the boys to their chaos. 

After dinner that night Lily and James were on patrol duty, Sirius and Peter were in detention, and Marlene was catching up with her friends from the quidditch team, leaving just Hermione, Remus, and Mary to entertain themselves.The common room was fairly crowded but they snagged the best sofa by the fire, exercising their rights as Seventh Years who were big and scary to anyone under the age of thirteen. Hermione settled between Remus and Mary and stretched her legs out across the coffee table, wiggling her socked toes in the heat of the fire. Mary was curled into one corner writing a letter to home and huffing, lamenting over the inconvenience of quills because she'd lost all her muggle pens ages ago. Remus was sat in the other corner, long legs lolling at the knees as he read Frankenstein, his tawny hair falling in his eyes. Without a fictional book to her name, and none worth checking out of Hogwarts' library, Hermione found herself at a literary loss. While she could have gone upstairs to pluck up one of her textbooks, the thought didn't appeal like it had in the past. There were a couple of sixth year girls playing exploding snap on the card tables who kept inviting her to join them, but she didn't fancy that either. In all honesty, the afternoon spent on the sofa with Remus snoozing next to her while she read had been one of the most normal she'd felt in a long time. As such, she shuffled until she was pressed into Remus' side and lay her head on his shoulder. He stiffened slightly but soon relaxed and continued to read. When he went to turn the page, she held her finger down on it, and only when she'd finished did she let him move on. 

§

"Now, let us look at our offensive and defensive strategies." Professor Harkin instructed, waving their arms wide. Defence Against the Dark Arts had never been Hermione's strongest subject but it turned out being on the run and fighting in a war had greatly improved her capabilities. They had been engaging in short duels since the start of term, adding practical elements to the theoretical study of sixth year. Sirius and James practically salivated at the mere mention of DADA lessons. Hermione stood beside Marlene, arms crossed as she watched Professor Harkin pluck James from the crowd and demonstrate the task. "I want a nice and fair duel, ladies and gentleman." When he'd finished with James, he sent him back and clapped his hands. "Ladies first." He sent a spark into the air, pink of course, and it whizzed and weaved through the students until it burst in front of Hermione's face. "Ah, Miss Granger, if you would?" She gripped her wand and walked into the duelling space. "Gentleman..." Another spark, blue now, whizzed and weaved until it burst in front of Sirius' face. 

"Yes!" Sirius pumped his fist and all but skipped into the space. "Consider this payback for the birds, kitten."

"In your dreams, Black." Hermione grinned. They settled into their stance and as Sirius went to bow, Hermione shot off a stinging hex. 

"OW! What the fuck?!" Sirius smarted, rubbing his shoulder. 

"I said fair, Miss Granger." Their professor admonished. 

But none of her real fights had been fair. She'd almost died at sixteen if not for a silencing spell. Her opponent, a middle aged wizard with plenty more experience than her had not held back and he certainly hadn't bowed. Hermione ignored the professor and flicked her wand to the right of Sirius' head, igniting a loud bang. Several students shrieked and cowered and Sirius turned to look over his shoulder. Taking the opportunity, Hermione landed another stinging hex, on his backside this time, and he yelped and clutched his bum. 

"Kitten!" Sirius hissed, rubbing his backside. 

"You know they won't be fair, Sirius." Hermione said, firing off another hex which he deflected. "In the real world, duels don't come with a bow and respect." She circled her wand and summoned a barrage of water, sending it in a wall to Sirius. As the wall of water grew so did a bubble of pure anger in Hermione's chest. "FIGHT SIRIUS!" She demanded and the room fell silent. Hermione was just eighteen and had already been in far too many fights. Her best friends, her brother, had almost died every year since he was eleven. There was nothing fair in a fight, and she knew Sirius knew this.

Sirius shot a wind charm at the water and it broke into a heavy but fine spray, drenching him and several others. 

"Miss Granger, that's enough." Professor Harkin said, surging forward, but Hermione wasn't done. They didn't understand! This was going to be their life in less than a year! 

"No!" Hermione addressed the professor, waiting for Sirius to find his footing. "Let us duel. Prepare us, Professor." 

A pin drop could be heard in the cavernous classroom and Sirius looked at her through wet tendrils of ink black hair. Clenching his jaw, he grit his teeth and fired off several stinging charms in quick succession. 

"Yes!" Hermione grinned, deflecting and shielding with perfect precision. All that practice with the DA and then on the run with Harry had really paid off. She danced across the space, twirling and whirling in dizzying circles until Sirius was turned around and disorientated. She sent hexes and curses flying from her wand while keeping a non-verbal protego active to protect herself. A little ditty Lupin had taught her just days before Bill's wedding. This was it. This made her feel alive. She fought and clawed her way to victory, hammering Sirius with an impressive display of magic. But he wasn't one to give up and he gave as good as he got. Hermione suspected several spells had been learned from his family's library rather than the tame professors Dumbledore hired. When she heard the students gasp and Harkin begin to shout, it all but confirmed her suspicions. But she didn't mind. She could handle it. It felt good to be stretched like this. To feel the threat of death and injury again. Somehow, in someway, she'd missed it. When she glimpsed a tall man with a long white beard and velvet robes in the doorway, Hermione faltered and Sirius' slicing hex slit across her cheekbone. "Fuck!" Hermione hissed, doubling over and cradling her bleeding cheek. Sirius grinned, looking a little manic before he realised she was hurt. Immediately he dropped his magic and sprinted across the space. 

"Kitten, are you alright?"

"Fine." Hermione mumbled, glancing over her shoulder at Dumbledore. It was then that the rest of the students followed her gaze and everyone grew silent. 

"Miss Granger, if you would accompany me to my office." He twinkled unhappily, stepping back and waiting for her to gather her things and follow. As she left the silent classroom Hermione wondered how in the bloody hell the man managed to twinkle unhappily. It helped keep her mind off the fact that her headmaster was displeased. With her. 

Once in his office, Dumbledore rounded his desk and took his seat with a heavy sigh. Gesturing to the chair opposite, he waited until Hermione was sat before fixing her with a stern look. "I can control myself." He said and she was immediately confused. "That's what you said to me when you requested to join the Order."

She winced and fiddled with the hem of her skirt. "Sir-"

"I'm not finished." Dumbledore said and the tone was as close to the time the dementors had caused Harry to fall from his broom in third year that her blood went cold. "That was reckless. Reckless and selfish, Miss Granger. You promised me you would not draw attention to yourself, that you would do everything in your power to maintain the timeline. Battling like a seasoned duellist is a fantastic way to draw the attention of those you claim to be serving Lord Voldemort."

"Don't call him that." Hermione muttered.

"Fear of a nam-"

"Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself." Hermione finished for him. "But he's not a lord. It's a stupid anagram thought up by a psychotic teenage boy. His name is Tom. We might as well use it. He hates it." She added as an after thought. In the days since she'd learned there was no way home for her, Hermione had spent a lot of time thinking about Tom Riddle. The more attention she paid him, the angrier she got. It was the most grandiose display of over-stroked ego and cry out for help that she had ever witnessed and instead of fearing him, though there was fear too, she just felt angry. This was all his fault. Him and his stupid need to be revered. 

Dumbledore eyed her for a long moment before he steepled his fingers, pressing the tips into his pursed lips. "Be that as it may, your behaviour was unacceptable. That was a lesson, not a battle. I have been most generous since you came to me, and I will continue to support you Miss Granger, make no mistake. But if you continue to endanger other students and yourself, like today, I will have to ask you to leave the school."

Oh good god. It was her worst nightmare. Being expelled. A fate worse than death. But again, where raw panic should have been was a simmering anger that just turned her limbs numb. "I understand sir. It won't happen again. I will take whatever punishment you see fit and apologise to Professor Harkin and my classmates." 

Dumbledore smiled and nodded. "I have no doubt. Thank you for handling this with maturity, Miss Granger. I shall leave it to Professor Harkin to choose your punishment. Good day."

Hermione got to her feet and left.

It was well into lunch by now and she marched into the Great Hall under a cloud of anger and frustration. She was right! Sirius, James, Remus, Lily, everyone needed to learn how to fight properly. Not on the job, like she'd had to. How many times had Hermione, Harry, and Ron almost been killed because they had never been taught to fight properly. It was sheer dumb luck that led to their survival. She was halfway down the hall when she realised it had become silent. She looked up, finding every pair of eyes trained on her. Well shit. Ignoring them, Hermione found Remus' tawny head of hair and quickly climbed into the seat beside him. "Who needs the world wide web, just task a bunch of teenagers with news distribution." She muttered under her breath, ignoring Remus and the others' confused look.

"What's a world wide web?" Peter whispered to James who just shrugged. "I don't like spiders." 

Ron. Suddenly Hermione was overcome with such heart stopping grief that she clenched the edges of the bench, willing herself to just breathe. 

"Hermione?" Remus murmured, leaning down so only she could hear. "Are you alright?"

She nodded tightly, outright lying. 

"What did Dumbledore say?" Peter asked, chewing on a bread roll.

"Shut up, Wormy," Sirius slid into the seat beside her. "Was it bad? I was the one that hurt you, I should be punished."

Hermione ignored him. Because all she could think about was Ron and his stupid fear of spiders. Stupid Ron who had abandoned them on the run. Stupid Ron who she had convinced herself that she loved before he'd ran away, back to his mummy and her home cooked comforts. You're not doing enough! A shuddering breath rattled in her chest and she clutched Remus' arm. 

"Okay, up we go." Remus grasped under her arm and lifted her to her feet, Sirius took her other side and they manoeuvred her out of the Great Hall to everyone's gawping. They rushed her through the hallways, past open mouthed first years and giggling second years until they found an alcove. Remus all but carried her inside before setting her down on the stone bench. It was biting cold on her bare thighs but she didn't have the energy to care. Ron. Harry. Stupid bloody spiders and giant petrifying snakes. Dementors and werewolves. Polyjuiced fanatics who she now went to school with. Grown men trying to kill her. The Department of Mysteries. Harry's face when Dumbledore had fallen to his death. Harry's depression when Sirius had died. It all flooded through her, drowning her in a life of memories that should never have been hers. The concerned murmurs of Remus and Sirius floated through her haze, dampened by the sound of her sobbing rattling breaths. At some point a more feminine voice joined them and a blur of red hair appeared in Hermione's tear stained vision. 

"Breathe, darling." Lily whispered, stroking Hermione's hair.  

"They're gone." Hermione managed to rasp out and the air changed. Sirius swore and Remus chewed his lip, arms crossed over his chest. "They're gone and I can't get them back and I've had to... I can't... They're gone!" Harry, Ron, Ginny, the twins, Padma, Pavarti and Lavender, Sirius, Cedric, everyone she'd ever known. Her parents. She realised she'd been pressed into a hug when she inhaled a mouthful of red hair and she pushed Lily away. "I can't-" Hermione hiccuped and reached blindly forward, getting to her feet. 

"Slow down, Kitten." Sirius tried to catch her and Hermione tore herself from his grasp.

"I CAN'T!" Hermione screamed, unsure of what she even meant. Suddenly a pair of strong arms surrounded her, pressing her face into a warm broad chest that smelled of earth and wood tinged with chocolate and tea. Remus. Hermione sobbed into his chest, wrapping her arms around his middle and clinging on for dear life. Her entire body trembled and she clutched Remus' school robes desperate to hold onto something, lest she be tugged around in time by her emotions again. At least if time took her now she'd have someone with her. Hermione gasped and shoved Remus away, appalled at her own thoughts. But he held on tight and tugged her back into his chest, smoothing her hair and whispering soothing little shushes into her curls. "I'm sorry." Hermione whispered, staring wide eyed in horror at the fibres of Remus' sodden shirt. 

"It's alright, love." Remus soothed, keeping his hands soothing and steady on her head. "Breathe now. It's okay." 

It wasn't. It never would be. But she did feel a little safer in Remus' arms, so she closed her eyes and buried her nose into his chest, inhaling his pleasant scent as deeply as her snotty nostrils would allow. 

Hermione skipped the rest of her classes for the day. She didn't want to hide in her bed though and Sirius was always up to skive so they sat up in the astronomy tower overlooking the autumnal hues of Hogwarts' grounds. She shivered and Sirius cast a warming charm over them both before conjuring a blanket anyway. Settling it around the both of them, Sirius leaned his temple on top of her head and she leaned hers on his shoulder. 

"God, I'm a mess." Hermione laughed mirthlessly after several minutes of silence. 

"Yeah." Sirius agreed and when she glared at him he smirked and lit up a cigarette, ignoring her scolding. "You're our mess though, so it's okay." Oh that didn't help. Fresh tears slipped down her cheeks and she turned back to the view. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quite reluctantly.

Hermione shook her head. She would, actually, but she wasn't allowed. Per the rules of time travel. 

"It might help." He murmured, closing his lips around the filter and inhaling. Fluttering her eyes shut, Hermione shuffled further into his side and finally let him wrap an arm around her shoulder. 

Perhaps she didn't have to tell the whole truth, just enough to communicate the pain she was in. They'd all been so respectful of her boundaries since she'd fallen into their laps back in September. But she knew they were curious. The story that she'd been orphaned and travelled at great personal risk to find safety at Hogwarts was the truth in a way, but the vague details wouldn't sustain her new friends forever. Nor would it quell her heartache. 

"My uh, my parents. Um, when Peter said he didn't like spiders, it just reminded me of m-my dad. He hates them. Deathly afraid. Just... got a load of memories I suppose. Couldn't deal with it." 

He listened to her silently, continuing to smoke and sooth his thumb into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Kitten."

Hermione shrugged and let her sore swollen eyes close. Sirius' body was warm and she cuddled closer, needing that human contact. He was taller than Harry had been and more filled out, but skinnier than Ron. It wasn't the same as her boys, but it was close enough. 

"I'm sorry about the duel today. I shouldn't have done that."

Sirius shook his head. "I'm glad you did. It's about time someone showed everyone what a proper duel looks like. I've seen real duels, I've been-" He cut himself off and cleared his throat. "I've seen it and they looked like that. We don't get taught how to properly fight and defend. You're right, there are no bows. It's just..."

"Live or die."

"Yeah."

She sat up and looked up at him. Stormy grey eyes and furrowed brows marred his handsome carefree features. "Back at my old school, we had a club. A fight club." She waited for the inevitable quote that had taken the muggleborn students by storm since her fifth year but of course, there was none. It was a pity, she bet Sirius would have loved Fight Club. "We trained ourselves to fight. It worked. We- I became a fighter. What you saw in there was experience which I only gained from the DA." She winced at her slip. 

"DA?"

"Uh, duelling association." Hermione muttered, looking out over the low grey clouds and umber tree tops. 

"Well we should do that then. Have our own DA." Sirius decided, eyes alight with excitement now. 

She snorted, "I doubt Dumbledore will sign off. Especially if it's my idea. He's not my biggest fan right now."

"No?"

"He threatened to expel me." She shot him a dry look, trying to obscure the wobble of her lip. Sirius caught it anyway and tucked his fingers under her chin and ran his thumb along her bottom lip. 

"So we don't tell him. C'mon Kitten. It'll be fun." He grinned and it was so devastatingly Sirius-like that she found herself nodding. Agreeing, just like that. 

Holed up in the Marauders' dorm room, Hermione and the girls squeezed themselves onto the beds beside the boys and discussed Hermione and Sirius' idea. 

"A duelling club? We already have one." Lily pointed out.

"Exactly." Sirius supplied, arms thrown wide and almost knocking poor Mary off his bed. "A duelling club, where we bow and fire off spells for points. This is a fight club. Much cooler."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Much more necessary, he means." She pushed herself off the post of Remus' bed and walked into the middle of the room. "I'm not going to get into it but I've been in fights."

Peter snorted, "Oh we know. We saw you today in DADA."

She glared at him until he fell silent. 

"As I was saying, I've been in fights. I've almost been killed trying to run for my life." She blinked several times, swallowing back the hoarse dry in her throat before gripping the hem of her school shirt and lifting it just enough to show off Dolohov's work. "A grown man shot this at me, if I hadn't of silenced him I'd be long dead."

The teenagers fell into silence and Lily looked as if she might cry. Hermione let her shirt fall. 

"This club, it saved my life. I think it could help you all too. Vol-" Peter gasped and she glared at him again. "Voldemort won't care that you're students. He's gaining followers who will act as if he has given them divine commandment to kill without mercy." 

She cast a long look over each of her friends. They wore varying expressions of worry and alarm, none more so than Peter who looked utterly terrified. This she said to him, "Those followers are not his friends, he doesn't care about them. They're expendable pawns to secure his rule and stroke his ego. He's a pathetic evil little man who didn't get enough hugs as a child." At this everyone looked up at with shocked expressions and loud gasps. "I imagine." Hermione muttered as an add on. Sirius, for his part, look absolutely overjoyed. He jumped off his bed and cradled her cheeks in his large warm palms, landing a large smacker on each cheek. 

"Kitten! You are the stuff of dreams." He declared before turning to his friends. "So? What do you think?"

James leapt up. "I'm in!" He said, predictably.

Remus stood too, smoothing down his trousers and looking serious, "I am too." 

"Well I guess I am then too." Peter muttered, standing. Marlene and Mary stood next and when everyone turned to Lily she sighed and held up her hand. 

"Fine. Me too. I don't like that it's not sanctioned by a teacher though."

"Yeah where are we going to practice?" James scratched his head. 

"Oh, we'll find somewhere." Hermione mused, rising onto her toes to kiss Sirius' cheek. "I'm sure of it." 

It was paramount that Hermione did not change the course of time. The Marauders had never spoken of the Room of Requirement or put it on their map, so obviously Hermione could not reveal it to them. If they managed to find it all on their own, well, how was Hermione to know if that was part of time or not. The truth was, she knew she was playing a dangerous game. In fact, part of her knew she was changing history by even telling Sirius about the club in the first place. Remus and Sirius had both known about the DA and never mentioned partaking in something similar when they spoke to Harry about it. But Hermione could not sit here and do nothing. She'd wither away, a bag of skin and bone and lost dreams. Hermione needed a purpose. She set everyone to search for a place they could practice, and hoped that one of them would pull a Neville Longbottom and find the Room of Requirement before long. In the meantime she returned to her work with keen fervour, much to Sirius' dismay. 

Holed up in the library with Lily and Remus, Hermione scribbled with speed, trying to finish her essay before her detention with Professor Harkin. It was Ancient Runes and long and boring to anyone who didn't find the subject fascinating. Which fortunately, Hermione did. She finished the essay with a flourish of her quill and hurried to pack her things away. "Going somewhere?" Lily asked, bemused. 

"Detention." Hermione said, slinging her bag over her shoulder. 

Remus looked up and bit his lip. "Oh, I'll walk you."

She looked down at his mess of parchment, textbooks, ink bottles, and quills. "You're working. I'll be fine, Remus." She leaned down and kissed his cheek. "See you guys later." 

Hurrying from the library, she marched a brisk pace to the DADA classroom where she found Professor Harkin, Sirius (also in detention for their duel) and Severus Snape. Instantly her mood darkened. She filed into the classroom and Harkin instructed them to sit. Hermione and Sirius sat at one desk, Snape at the opposite end of the row. "Now," Harkin said in a disapproving tone, "You all displayed a gross misuse of the techniques you have been taught. Defence against the Dark Arts is about duelling with control, not just doing whatever one feels like. Copy these lines one hundred times then you can go. I will check your parchments and if you miss even one sentence you will be back here tomorrow." With that he rounded his desk and slumped down in his chair, picked up Witch Weekly and began snacking on a sandwich. 

Sighing, Hermione picked up her quill and began. As lines went it wasn't so bad. I will not endanger myself or other students was a far better cry than I must not tell lies carved in blood. An hour passed when Snape suddenly stood and deposited his parchment on Harkin's desk. He turned without a word and fled from the room, his robes billowing like a bat behind him. Hermione frowned, so it had been a talent innate to him, not just his teaching robes. She'd always wondered. She finished next and waited for Sirius before they handed in their lines. "I truly am sorry, Professor." Hermione said again. Harkin sniffed and dismissed her with a little wave. Sirius did not apologise. 

"You're not sorry." Sirius laughed, slinging an arm over her shoulder as they walked back to the tower. 

"I am!" Hermione insisted. "The poor man is just doing his job. We made it harder."

Sirius scoffed and kissed the top of her head. "You're a strange one, kitten."

"Says you, dog." Hermione shot back and Sirius barked with laughter.

"Oh you have no idea, Kitten." 

Chapter Text

Remember remember the fifth of November. Firewhiskey, pranks, and plot. Sirius Black's birthday appeared with the inevitable cold snap that turned the grounds icy and rid the trees of the last of their leaves. The girls had warned Hermione of Sirius' birthday a week prior, and having been dorm-mates with Lavender Brown, thought she was quite prepared. She had been wrong. Sirius unleashed a tidal wave of chaos and mischief and entire week leading up to his birthday. Landing him and his friends in increasingly hot water as the week wore on. But nothing could dampen Sirius' spirits for his birthday fell on a Sunday, giving him the entire weekend to celebrate and avoid punishment. Despite McGonagall's best efforts. Whether their head of house was now just well seasoned in the Marauder's antics or, as Sirius insisted, had grown quite fond of them, she didn't give them any detentions until the following Monday, the day after his birthday. Hermione privately thought this was to worsen the likely hangover they would all sport and when she shared her suspicions with the girls they'd fallen off their beds laughing, proclaiming that was exactly what McGonagall intended. That evening at dinner they at raised their goblets in toast to a very bemused Professor McGonagall. 

The Saturday didn't co-inside with a Hogsmeade weekend but that hardly mattered to the Marauders, who finally decided to bestow the Honeydukes passage to the girls as a seventh year gift. Plus James didn't want to leave without Lily and Lily wouldn't leave without the rest of the girls. Hermione pretended to ooh and ahh like the other girls but really, it was an old damp tunnel and there was only so much acting she could do. Threading her arm through Remus', they walked along the tunnel together. She, tall and sure footed, Remus tall and hunched over to avoid hitting his head on the roof. "It's not often being short comes in handy." Hermione giggled the fifth time Remus hit his head. 

"Piss off, Granger." He grumbled but tightened his arm, keeping her in place. Wrapping her other hand around his bicep, she squeezed happily and they chattered about Frankenstein all the way to Honeydukes. 

Dressed in her best and only pair of bellbottom jeans, a maroon turtleneck, and a fitted leather jacket, Hermione very much felt in costume still, even almost three months into her new life in the seventies. But when she appeared in bellbottoms and not a sensible wool skirt in the common room that morning, Sirius had let out such a loud wolf whistle that everyone had startled and turned to look at her. As such, despite the objectification, Hermione walked with a confident sway to her step that made her feel like Mary. They alighted out of Honeydukes and she climbed the ladder ahead of Remus, peering out into the stockroom of the sweet shop before crawling to her feet. Remus appeared, flushed from his cheeks to his neck and avoiding her eyes. She swiped a bar of chocolate from a box and placed a sickle in return, handing it to Remus. "For you."

He stumbled and took it with pink tipped ears. "It's not my birthday." He pointed out.

She chuckled and looked at Sirius, currently riding James' back and pretending to lasso Lily and Mary in the dark of Honeydukes stockroom. The idiot. "No, but I figure putting up with that for an entire week deserves a reward." He chuffed and pocketed the chocolate before they followed the others up into the store. Although there were no students Honeydukes was still busy enough to slip out unseen and they spilled out into the icy air of the small village.

Peter sighed happily, breathing in the fresh air and threw an arm over Hermione and Marlene's shoulders. "This is the life. Just a few more months and then total freedom! No more school." He took another deep breath and grinned at them both. Marlene patted his chest, amused, and slipped out from under his arm to walk with Mary. Stiff under Peter's arm, Hermione tried to school her expression into one like Marlene's but she was fairly certain she looked terrified. She'd grown used to Peter these past few months. Liked him, begrudgingly. But she had never touched him. Not even to pass a quill or pat his shoulder. For this very reason. The moment he slung his arm over her shoulder all she could see was him, twenty years in the future, more rat than man, cowering in fear and begging for his life at her knees. Clutching her school robes and calling her a sweet kind girl. Nausea undulated deep in her stomach but before she could tear herself away Remus was at her side, tugging her into his side and telling Peter that James wanted him. Peter ran off at once, leaving her able to breathe once more. 

"Alright?" Remus murmured, rubbing her arm. She nodded and took in deep gulps of breath. Icy and fresh and cool in her lungs. "You're okay." He said in a low voice that warmed her all over. 

When she felt normal, she glanced up at him. "Thank you."

A soft smile was her reward and he squeezed her shoulder. "Of course. Let's go, before Sirius starts having kittens."

The Three Broomsticks provided salty hot chips, cold pork pies, pickled eggs, and plenty of rounds of butterbeer. Soon enough all of their little group were thoroughly sloshed and Sirius led the entire pub in a round of Happy Birthday, conducting atop a table until Madame Rosmerta hexed him down with a fond eye roll. Darkness fell and they snuck back through Honeydukes to the humpbacked witch, spilling into the corridors in a series of hushed overly loud whispers. "Wait! Wait!" Sirius stumbled, extracting a ratty bit of parchment from his jeans pocket and tapping his wand to it. 

"Pads, no!" James hissed, snatching the parchment up and holding it away. 

"Pads, yes!" Mary giggled, stealing it from James' grip and inspecting it. "It's blank."

Hermione giggled, leaning into Remus' side and covering her face. He peered down at her, brow raised. Whether it was the lycanthropy or his sheer height, he was the least drunk while having consumed the most. Hermione thought that was rather unfair. 

Lily took it from Mary and tapped her wand to it. Instantly maroon writing appeared and Hermione turned her face into Remus' chest with a groan and a giggle. "Oh no." She mumbled into his scratchy jumper. 

Suddenly Lily gasped and thumped James around the head. "What the hell, Potter! You toe-rag!"

"Lily wait! No! It wasn't me!"

"Prongs signed it!" Lily screeched and everyone shushed her. 

Sirius swooped in, stealing the map back. "It's designed to insult anyone who doesn't know how to open it." He declared proudly. "Here," He tapped his wand but didn't utter those infamous words. He read aloud, "Nice try Messr. Black. But the makers of this map prefer to reveal their secrets to someone not so inbred." He grinned and gave the map to Peter. 

"A valiant effort, from a man with more worm then tail." Peter read, "What does that mean?" 

"It means you're a wanker. Literally." Sirius barked with laughter, and again everyone shushed him.

He handed it to Remus who sighed and read, "Good try Moons, but not even your ugly mug can convince us to reveal our secrets." 

"Remus isn't ugly." Hermione blurted out and everyone turned to her with a knowing grin. She detached herself from his side and wobbled to Marlene who hugged her tight, swaying slightly in her drunk state. 

"Here, kitten, you try." Sirius passed her the map and she tapped her wand to it. 

Drunk and tired, she almost automatically came out with it. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. At the last moment, just as she'd formed the first word she remembered herself and tapped the map with her wand silently. "Oh kitten, someone needs to be able to see past their hair to read this map." She read and snorted, shoving the map back into Sirius' chest. 

"What even is it?" Mary asked, leaning half asleep on James and Lily. 

"Our greatest creation, nay... our magnum opus!" Sirius proclaimed proudly. He tapped the tip of his wand to the parchment, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He slurred but the map sprang to life, bleeding the blueprint of Hogwarts and all it's inhabitants onto the parchment in rivers of maroon ink. They were the only ones on the floor but Filch was patrolling just one floor up and in their direct path back to the tower. 

"Holy shit, you had this the entire time?!" Lily hissed, rounding on James who was gazing at her with hooded eyes. 

"Sure did, Lily-pad." He grinned, tugging her close and losing himself in her neck. Tipsy, Lily rejected his advances for half a moment before giving in and letting him kiss her. 

"Ugh, disgusting" Sirius rolled his eyes, turning back to the map. 

"What? Monogamy?" Mary teased. 

"Precisely, foxy mama." Sirius winked. "Okay lads and lad-ettes, gather round. Prongs retract your tongue from Lily's throat please and concentrate." He pointed to the map. "Filch is here and we need to go here. So let's take this hidden passage behind that tapestry there to circumnavigate him. That should give us a clear shot back to the dorms. Okay, ready?"

Everyone blinked at him. 

"How the fuck are you thinking of words like circum-fucking-navigate while this badgered?" Marlene slurred. 

Sirius winked and tugged her by the hand, leading the way. Despite his blood alcohol level, and with plenty of supervision by a mostly sober Remus now, Sirius lead them without incident back to the tower. The common room was dark and cold when they entered and Hermione found Mary's hand and they began walking up to the dormitory together. 

"James, no." Lily murmured from behind them. Looking over her shoulder, Hermione found Lily smiling and pressing James away as he continued trying to kiss her. "Not tonight." She whispered. 

"Lily-flower." James whined, tugging her back by her waist and attaching his lips to her neck. 

"Come on mate, it's bed time. Let her go, yeah?" Remus intercepted and Hermione reached for Lily and tugged her forward.

"But I love her!" James pouted, reaching for Lily with big brown doe eyes. 

She smiled and trotted back, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "I love you too, idiot. See you tomorrow." 

He grumbled but watched and waved as all four girls disappeared up to bed. 

The next morning, or rather, midday, Hermione stumbled from bed with a splitting headache and her hair a bird's nest. Mary and Marlene were still snoozing, passed out in Marlene's bed and a tangle of limbs. Lily was nowhere to be found. Hermione showered and returned to the dorm feeling a little more human and a little less like a dried up butterbeer keg. She dressed in warm wool tights and her usual skirt and jumper combo before heading downstairs. There she found Lily alone on the big sofa staring at the crackling fire. Slumping down into the seat beside her, Hermione poured water straight from her wand into her mouth and drank it down eagerly. When Lily made no comment about a lack of manners, Hermione glanced up to find her quiet and picking at her nails. 

"Okay, Lils?"

Lily startled and turned to her, surprised. "Oh. Yeah."

"Yeah?"

Lily bit her lip and glanced at the boys' dorm stairs. No one else was about and there were no sounds of life from their boys. 

"Do you think James is mad?"

"Like insane? No more than Sirius." Hermione shrugged. 

"No," Lily huffed, pushing back a lock of hair. "I mean mad at me. For last night."

Hermione furrowed her brows. "What do you mean?"

She shifted and began chewing a hangnail. "Well, the whole way back he kept saying how much he wanted me, y'know? Like, he wanted me to go to bed with him. You saw him, when we said goodnight. He really wanted to."

"Did you?" Hermione asked.

The girl sighed and shrugged. "Not last night. I do, obviously. I love him, despite my best efforts." She muttered and Hermione chuckled and drew Lily into a hug, resting their temples together and curling their legs up. She smelled of soap and perfume but with a slight undertone of alcohol permeating from her pores. "But it'll be my first time. I want it with him, just... not drunk and surrounded by his mates with only a silencing charm and curtains for privacy." 

Ah. Hermione understood perfectly. Cormac McClaggen had cornered her after Slughorn's party in sixth year and come onto her so strongly she'd had to hex him. She'd felt guilty then and she didn't even like Cormac. "James was drunk and horny. He loves and respects you. If he's mad, I bet it'll be at himself." 

Lily chewed her lip. "Maybe..."

"Lily, you were perfectly within your rights to say no. You always will be. You don't owe anyone sex. Ever."

Lily glanced up at her and nodded. "Yeah, I know." 

Kissing her temple, Hermione drew back and yawned. "Good. Now, let's grab a greasy fry up from the kitchens and see if everyone is still alive." 

They returned with trays of fried sausages, eggs, bacon, potatoes, and baked beans. Fried tomatoes and mushrooms made a valiant effort to cut through the starch and meat while pots of coffee and tea steamed atop the trays. They carried up to the boys dorm and knocked on the door, eliciting a series of pained groans and one shout to 'go the bloody fuck away'.

"We bring sustenance, men!" Hermione called through the door. The groans stopped and a moment later Remus appeared, ruffled from sleep in a t-shirt and boxers. 

"Food?"

"Greasy food." Hermione grinned. "Fried and delicious with coffee to boot."

"Come in." He nodded sagely and opened the door to let them in. They settled the trays in the middle of the room on the rug and Lily ran back to fetch the girls. As if lured by the scent, the boys slid from bed, sniffing the air and slinking over to the steaming plates. 

"I love you." Sirius told Hermione seriously, gripping her shoulders and with a mouth full of bacon. She scoffed and shoved him away, grabbing a sausage and hopping up onto Remus' bed. The boys situated themselves on the floor, gorging themselves on the food until Lily, Mary, and Marlene appeared and fought their way through the mess of gangly teenage limbs to their own breakfast. When she'd finished her lonely sausage, Remus appeared at her side with another and a cup of black coffee. She accepted them both and patted the bed for him to sit. As the mattress sank beneath his weight, she looked over at Lily and James. Leaning against one another and eating in that tired slack-jawed way that only truly gnarly hangovers induce. 

When the food was gone and the coffee and tea were drunk, everyone climbed back into bed. James and Lily to one, snoozing against one another with James' arms wrapped around his love. Sirius on his own, sprawled spread eagle and groaning with a silk handkerchief over his eyes. Peter lay on the floor, snoring approximately two seconds after swallowing his final mouthful, and Mary and Marlene on Peter's bed, hugging one another and clutching their heads. Remus sighed and settled back against his pillows, rubbing his forehead with forefinger and thumb. "Got any pepper up potions?" Hermione asked, crawling up the bed to sit at his side.

He glanced down at her and swallowed before answering, "Used them all up last month. Sirius usually brews them but..." Hermione nodded knowingly. Sirius was prone to forget at the best of times his duties, let alone around his birthday. 

"Never mind." She sighed, sliding further down his bed until her head rested on his pillow. She glanced up at him, still sat up and staring down at her. Raising a brow she said, "Well?" And he wet his lips and slid down until they lay side by side. "I won't bite, Remus." Hermione mumbled, nuzzling her cheek onto his chest and wrapping an arm over his middle. "Unless you're into that." 

Remus made a strangled choking sound and she smirked, closing her eyes and letting sleep claim her. 

The first thing she thought of when she woke was the last thing she said. Immediate embarrassment flooded over her and she peeled open her lids to find Remus sleeping peacefully beneath her. She'd all but crawled on top of him in her sleep. Nicely done, Granger. Hermione untangled her limbs from his and sat up. Only Peter remained, still fast asleep on the floor. She stood and stretched with a yawn before padding silently to the door. Slipping out, she made her way downstairs to find James and Lily cuddled up on the sofa. Judging by the light trying to force its way through the windows, it was late afternoon. Sirius' party would be soon. Lily caught her eye and gave her a thumbs up. Good, they'd talked and worked it all out. Hermione was glad. James noticed her and waved her over. 

"Hey sleepyhead." He grinned, adjusting his glasses. 

"Morning." Hermione replied sarcastically, slumping into an armchair. "Where is everyone?"

"Sirius is out getting supplies, whatever that means." Lily yawned, "And the girls went back to our dorm. They said Pete's sheets smelled weird."

James snorted but refrained from commenting. 

"How was your nap with Remus?" Lily asked, green eyes sparkling. 

"Shut up." Hermione grumbled, curling up in her chair and wrapping her arms around her shins. 

"You two looked awfully cosy." James supplied with a smirk. One that looked so like Harry's that Hermione lost her breath for a moment. 

"You shut up too." 

They chuckled and fell into sleepy silence. When Remus appeared they had the tact not to tease one in front of the other. 

§

"Does this look okay?" Hermione twisted to and fro, trying to see her own body in Mary's borrowed outfit. Another pair of bellbottoms, except these were frankly ridiculous in voluminous flares, while the bum and waist were hugged tightly by bedazzled denim. Mary leant Hermione a sequinned gold halter top that cut off just under her bust, leaving a golden stretch of skin bare until the high waist of the jeans. The purple of her scar showed and Hermione was trying her best to be okay about it. 

"Are you kidding?!" Mary screeched, turning Hermione in a circle with a low whistle. "You're a foxy mama! A regular brickhouse!"

"A what?"

The girls laughed and shook their heads. "Honestly, did you live under a rock before you came here?" Marlene giggled. "You look gorgeous Hermione. Remus is going to die."

Turning so they couldn't see her blush, Hermione inspected herself in Lily's conjured full length mirror. She did look pretty good. Not refined and pretty like at the Yule Ball, but due to the cut of her clothes she almost looked curvaceous and confident. Sexy, almost. Hermione turned, looking over her shoulder at the way the jeans hugged her bum. Not almost, she was sexy. For the first time in her life, Hermione felt flipping sexy. 

Mary wrestled Hermione's curls into a Farah Fawcett style do while Marlene painted her lips pink and her lids blue. Once finished, the girls squeezed together to inspect their image in the mirror. "Merlin we're foxy." Mary grinned. 

"Is Will going to be here tonight?" Lily asked, referring to Mary's fairy wine dealer and casual boyfriend. 

"Yep!" Mary grinned, "If I don't make it home for bed, don't worry." She winked and turned away to spray some perfume. Marlene frowned and turned away but before Hermione could figure out why the conversation descended into Mary's relationship with Will. Hermione stole one last look at herself. Even Ron would have noticed she was a girl if she'd shown up to the Yule Ball like this. 

The common room was heaving. Every seventh year bar Slytherin had turned up, as well as most of sixth and fifth year. A few outgoing fourth years on the quidditch teams had squeezed in while the odd third, second, and first year Gryffindor gaped about the place in their pyjamas. Lily noticed them right away and sent them up to bed with a stern word and threat of detention. 

"Is that not an abuse of power?" Hermione asked. 

Lily raised a brow and gestured to Sirius, who already had his shirt off, beer in hand, and was sticking his tongue down some sixth year girl's throat. "It's more for them, than us." 

Muggle music thumped through the common room, reverberating in Hermione's body. She looked for a sound system but found only the gramophone playing. "It's a sonorous charm." A low voice called over the music into her ear, his hot breath skating over her skin. Hermione shivered and looked up to find Remus leaning over her. 

Make me baby,

Make me know you really care,

Make me jump in the air

Electric guitar thrummed along Hermione's limbs and she leaned back into Remus' front. "Clever." She shouted and he grinned and handed her a beer.

"Come on," He called, grabbing her hand and leading her through the packed swaying bodies. 

Press your space face close to mine, love,

Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh,

Keep your 'letric eye on me, babe

They came to a stop away by the window, where a cool breeze caressed Hermione's overheated skin in a sweet kiss. She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning into the breeze. 

"I thought you'd appreciate that." Remus smirked, sipping from his drink.

"Why, did I look hot?" She asked, a slow smile spreading across her pink lips. 

He wet his bottom lip and a hint of a smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, glinting at his white teeth. "Yes." His hazels, so pretty and earnest, had darkened and Hermione suddenly felt even hotter. 

The decks scratched as someone changed albums. Then, blaring at full volume came the heady thready electric guitar that Hermione's mum used to nod her head along to whenever her dad had put his records on.

Rebel Rebel, you've torn your dress

Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess

Rebel Rebel, how could they know

Hot tramp! I love you so

The thready beat of Bowie pulled Hermione into a sway which turned into a dance. Remus looked on, leaning against the wall with a soft smile on his face. "Come on Moony, dance with me." Hermione pouted, reaching for him. Remus shook his head but never took his eyes off her. "Boo." She stuck out her tongue and stole his drink, downing the rest. Before he could protest, Hermione chucked the empty bottle away and grabbed his hands. She tugged hard until he came away from the wall and towered over her. "Much better." She grinned. Following the beat, Hermione began to jump and nod her head, dancing and jostling Remus until he gave in and danced too. Tall and gangly, Remus was not a natural dancer and obviously would have hated every second had Hermione not been all but writhing against him. His searing palms found her bare waist and she grinned, looping her arms around his shoulders. They danced until suddenly there was no space separating them. Hermione shivered, enjoying the heat of his body against hers, and pressed herself to him. "You know," Hermione mused and Remus ducked his head down to listen. Their noses inches apart. Hermione wet her lips and grazed the tip of her nose along his cheek. "Life was extremely shit for a while there." He glanced at her but let her carry on. "But you made it a lot better, Remus. You're a good man." 

He drew back slightly, capturing her gaze. His eyes flickered between her own, and he wet his lips before leaning in. His nose ghosted over her cheekbones and Hermione closed her eyes, tilting her head up. Suddenly someone bumped into her and she stumbled to the side, going over an ankle in Mary's stupid platforms. Remus swore and yelled at the drunk student, who took no notice and slinked off into the crowd. "Are you alright?" He asked, hands steadying her waist. Hermione nodded and stepped towards him, gasping as a white hot pain flared in her ankle. 

"Shit. No!" She winced, gripping his arms. "My ankle!" 

Remus peered down and swore again. "Okay, hang on." He looped her arm over his shoulders and gripped her waist tight, lifting her until she barely had to put any weight on her feet. "I'll take you to my dorm." He shouted over the music and din of the party. Clutching his shoulder, they slowly made their way up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. He opened the door and carried her in, depositing her on his bed. "Wait there, I'll make ice." He disappeared to the bathroom and came back with a towel filled with ice. Suddenly the door burst open and James and Lily burst through, giggling and kissing. "Oi!" Remus threw his pillow at James, knocking the boy's glasses clean off his face. "Don't fuck in here, find somewhere else."

Lily turned bright red and hid behind James' broad back. "Fuck off, Moons. Miserable prick." James grumbled, summoning his glasses and righting them again. "Come on Lils." He murmured, sending Remus a dirty look. 

"You shouldn't have said that." Hermione said quietly once the door had closed. 

Remus glanced at her but said nothing. He gently undid the straps of her shoe and slid it off before pressing the ice to her ankle. She hissed at the cold before relaxing. It did feel good. "How's that?" He mumbled low. 

"Better. Thank you." Hermione sighed leaning back on her hands. He took a seat, shifting her injured ankle onto his lap. "Did you see who bumped into me?"

Remus glanced at her, "No, why?"

"I want to know who to hex for ruining our first kiss." 

A small smile spread over his lips and he looked back down at her ankle, gently turning the ice to cover it more. "If I see him I'll let you know."

"Thanks." 

That small beautiful smile disappeared, replaced by a worrisome frown. She shifted, trying to catch his attention but still he stared down at the ice pack. "Remus?"

He hummed, still distracted. 

"Remus, what's up?"

Suddenly he shook himself of his thought and shot her a tight smile. "Nothing. Are you thirsty?"

"N-"

"I'll go get us beers. Be right back." He carefully slid out from under her leg and walked out the door, closing it behind him. 

He was gone for a long time, longer than Hermione reckoned it took to get beers. Was he having a crisis of confidence, being all noble and self-sacrificing because of his condition? Or had he forgotten about her. Injured and sat on his bed. She almost hoped it was the first one. If he'd forgotten her he might be liable to find another witch to hook up with and wouldn't that be a nasty surprise all round. 

The bass thumped below the floorboards, rattling the trinkets atop the boys' nightstands. She huffed, bored, and looked over at Remus' side table. The urge to be nosy grew with every minute that passed and it wasn't until she seriously considered betraying Remus' trust out of sheer boredom did she have a brain wave. Carefully, she stood and hobbled over to Peter's bed. The surface provided nothing useful, just a couple of comics and a stand for his wand. She pulled out the first drawer and immediately regretted it, shoving it shut again. There were some things one should not see about friends. She pulled open the second drawer and was rooting around when the door opened. She straightened and stared wide eyed at the intruder. 

Sirius stared back at her, two beers in hand and glancing between her and Peter's open bedside table. "Alright, kitten?"

"Yeah, was looking for a pain potion." She lied, hobbling back to Remus' bed and accepting a beer from Sirius. 

"Won't be in there. Just porn and lotion."

She wrinkled her nose and swallowed the bile in her throat. She really did not need to see that. Sirius barked with laughter and poked at her until she shuffled to the side and made room for him. Sat beside her, he took a swig of beer and hummed. "Poor wormy, he's never felt the glorious touch of a woman."

She rolled her eyes and sank back against the headboard. "Where's Remus?"

"Talking to Marlene. Seemed quite intense, if you know what I mean?" Sirius smirked, grey eyes glittering. Her stomach dropped and Hermione reached forward to adjust her ice pack. "He asked me to bring you a beer. Said you got hurt."

"Yeah, ankle." Hermione mumbled. He'd forgotten her. Or rather, he'd not forgotten, he'd just ran way. Did he not want to kiss her? He'd seemed pretty into it at the time. Now he'd abandoned her to talk to his ex. Anger rose quick and hot in her blood and Hermione drained half her beer. 

"Slow down, kitten!" Sirius laughed, before draining his own. 

She ignored him and polished it off. If Remus wanted to leave her stranded with a sprained ankle in his bed to talk to his ex, then fine! Hermione was used to being abandoned. Being abandoned was what had landed her in this predicament in the first place. 

The song downstairs thumped and floated up through the floor boards. 

I got a black magic woman

I got a black magic woman

Got me so blind I can't see

That she's a black magic woman

And she's tryin' to make a devil out of me

The song was hypnotising and she closed her eyes and swayed into the beat. 

You got your spell on me, baby

You got your spell on me, baby

She swayed into Sirius and he wrapped an arm around her. "Alright kitten?" She nodded and looked up at him, suddenly feeling very wavy. Sirius smirked and ran a thumb over her lower lip, pulling it down and releasing it with a pop. Hermione smiled and leaned further into his warmth. "Are you going to hex my balls off if I kiss you?"

She considered it. The thought of Remus downstairs, with his tongue down Marlene's throat came to mind though and she shook her head. 

"Fucking finally." Sirius mumbled, dipping down and kissing her. She swayed into the kiss and lost her balance, gripping his bare shoulders for support. Sirius groaned and slipped his tongue into her mouth, threading his hand into her curls and pulling at the roots slightly. It felt wonderful and Hermione realised she'd never really been kissed like this before. She'd never gone to a party and hooked up with a boy just because. It was a pity it was the wrong boy. She went to pull away when the door banged open and they startled and turned. Remus stood there, jaw clenched and hurt in his pretty hazels. 

"Remus." Hermione moved to stand. Remus flinched back and shot Sirius the dirtiest look Hermione had ever seen before turning tail and running down the stairs. "Shit. Sirius!" Hermione turned, slapping Sirius' arm to go after him. 

"He'll be fine." Sirius rolled his eyes, dipping back down to kiss her. She shoved him away and got to her feet with a small yelp. 

"Stop it! Don't be a prat!" 

She left Sirius on Remus' bed and hobbled from the room. She limped around the party and even tried outside the common room, but fear of McGonagall drove her back inside. Eventually, tired and in pain, Hermione gave up and limped upstairs to bed. She tore off Mary's clothes and crawled into bed in just her underwear and a ratty t-shirt. Curling beneath the covers, Hermione roughly wiped tears from her cheeks and cursed Sirius Black's existence and her own stupidity. 

Chapter Text

The moment Hermione woke on Monday morning a skull splitting headache sliced across her left eye. She squeezed her eyes shut and groaned, curling in on herself under her warm covers. They stank of alcohol and bad decisions. Hermione wasn't used to this. Good sense, logic, and respectable behaviour was her bread and butter. Not almost kissing Remus, who should be firmly off limits per the parameters of time travel, and then actually kissing Sirius in Remus' bed because she was hurt and jealous. She groaned again and immediately the sound was joined by another. Poking her head out of her bed hangings, she spied Marlene sliding out of bed and clutching her head. Mary's bed was empty and obviously not slept in while Lily's had her hangings firmly shut. 

"God who decided Sirius should have a birthday on a Sunday?" Marlene grouched, crawling across the room to the door. The sounds of the other Gryffindor girls milling about the bathrooms and getting ready for school got increasingly louder, banging against Hermione's skull. 

"Something cruel and unforgiving." Hermione muttered, getting to her feet before immediately yelping and falling back into bed. Her ankle. Right. "God-fucking-damnit!" 

"Woah." Marlene blinked blearily, squinting across the room. "Didn't know you had it in you, Granger."

Hermione ignored Marlene and inspected her ankle which was swollen and bruised black and blue. Maybe a bit of ice and then running around trying to find Remus hadn't been the best treatment. "I've got to go to the hospital wing." Hermione muttered, pulling on a pair of trousers and a jumper. She shot bandages from her wand and strapped up her ankle. Marlene grunted and shuffled off to the bathroom. Hobbling to Lily's bed, Hermione knocked on the post and poked her nose through the curtains. Adjusting to the darkness, Hermione didn't notice at first a lump beneath the covers and thought it was empty. 

"Wha-?" A deep voice mumbled and a mess of black hair and brown skin poked their head out from under the covers. 

"James?!"

He winced and clutched his head. "Hi, 'Mione." He furrowed his brows and glanced around him. "Wait, did you sleep here?"

"Yes, this is the girls dorm." 

Just then a groan, muffled and long, erupted beneath the covers and Lily's dark red hair popped out, thoroughly tangled. "Why is everyone so loud?" She hissed. 

Biting back a smirk, Hermione crossed her arms and stared down at the two, "Why is James in the girls dorms, Lily Evans?"

"What?" Lily blinked and pushed down on James' chest to sit up. Then, as if noticing him for the first time, she stared down at her boyfriend wide eyed. "How did you get in here?"

Sliding upright, James rubbed his eyes and shrugged, "I dunno Lily. I just woke up. Are you sure you're not in my dorm?"

Hermione flung back the hangings to reveal a very feminine room filled with discarded clothes, shoes, makeup, and underwear. "James, seriously, how did you get in?"

He looked about, ruffling his hair. "I've no idea." Turning to Lily with a wide expression he furrowed his brows and then quickly lifted the covers, glancing down at himself. "Okay, we didn't."

They let out a sigh of relief and sagged against the pillows. 

"Alright lovebirds, I'm off to the hospital wing. Breakfast finishes in half an hour so I'm sure you'll be able to sneak James out soon. Bye." They waved at her tiredly, sinking into one another and sliding back down into bed for another snooze. It wasn't til Hermione was at the base of the stairs that she heard Marlene's surprised shriek. 

A lecture from Madame Pomphrey with a side of healing spells and a pain potion later, Hermione turned up to Arithmancy hungry, nauseous and feeling very sorry for herself. Then she noticed Remus and suddenly she felt much much worse. Sliding into her seat beside him, she unpacked her work and cast him a wary glance. Anger roiled off of him in palpable waves. His jaw clenched and unclenched in a way that Hermione really ought to find less attractive given the situation and he clenched his quill so hard his knuckles turned white. 

"Morning." She whispered as Professor Vector began class. He didn't reply. He didn't speak a word to her the entire lesson, even as they worked in pairs over a particularly hard equation. Just answering half of the questions before sliding the paper over to her and crossing his arms. He didn't even look at her. At first she'd felt ashamed. Yes, she shouldn't have kissed Sirius. Under no circumstances was that okay. But especially not after their little moment, and most definitely not in Remus' bed. That was bad, Hermione knew that. But she felt this was a little much. He'd abandoned her to go and flirt with his ex. He'd ran away and not even bothered to deliver the drink he insisted she had! When the lesson ended, Remus got up with a screech of his chair and swept up his things before marching from the classroom. Hermione, inured and sore, didn't even try to catch up. 

At lunch Hermione sat herself next to a very green Peter and Marlene who were cradling coffee like it was their last lifeline. James and Lily walked in not too long later and ate silently, looking half asleep. Hermione craned her neck, looking for Remus, who was nowhere to be seen. Finally, she looked for Mary or even Sirius. She found Mary with her boyfriend, Will, cuddly and cute, feeding one another carrot sticks at the Ravenclaw table. Sirius was no where to be seen either, until five minutes until the end of lunch when he marched into the Great Hall. His footsteps echoed angry and loud on the flagstones and the students hushed to stare at him. For Sirius Black had never looked worse. His right eye was swollen shut and bright red going purple. Hermione got to her feet in alarm at the same time as James who grabbed his arm and tugged Sirius down to their bench. 

"Pads, what happened? Was it the Slytherins?" 

He shook his head but refused to speak, grabbing a sandwich and shovelling half of it in his mouth. As he chewed he raised his eyes to Hermione's and raised his brows. Oh. She winced and swore under her breath. "Where is he?" She asked quietly.

Sirius shrugged and stuffed the remaining sandwich in his mouth. When it was obvious that he wasn't going to talk, Hermione surged forward and grabbed at his robes. "Kitten, what the fu-"

"Shush." Hermione muttered, scrabbling around in his robes before she found what she was looking for. 

"Wha- Hey! That's not yours!"

Ignoring him and the rest of the Marauder's protests, Hermione tapped her wand to the parchment and murmured, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

With a practiced ease, Hermione scanned the little dots until she found Remus' name, milling about in an alcove not far from the kitchens. "Mischief managed." She said and shoved the map back into Sirius' stunned hands. 

"How did she...?" Peter echoed but she tore away, running for the kitchens before she could worry. 

The alcove was hidden behind a tapestry and it took her several tries to locate it. When she did she found Remus, curled into the corner and angrily munching on a roast beef sandwich. When she stumbled into the little stone alcove he glared up at her and sighed. "Go away."

"You punched Sirius? Really?"

Remus shrugged and took a petulant bite. 

"That was totally out of line, Remus."

"So is kissing someone in my bed, Hermione."

Oh, it was like that was it?

"Fuck you." Hermione blurted before she could temper herself. He looked up startled and anger flared fresh and bright in his eyes. "No, let me speak. I'm sorry for kissing him in your bed, it was a monumental cock up and I'm not proud of it! I'm sorry you saw it before I could pull away and make no mistake I was going to pull away because I am mostly sorry that I was kissing him and not you!" Remus stared up at her. "But you left me all alone. We had a moment and I thought... I thought you liked me and then you left me on your bed, bloody injured, and next thing I know Sirius is there saying that you and Marlene were having an intense discussion and I just... I got jealous and angry because everyone abandons me! Everyone! Ron! Harry! Everyone! I cannot stand it if you abandon me too!"

When she finished her speech, panting and unable to see through the tears blurring her vision, Remus got to his feet and walked across the little cramped space. He towered over her, his scent enveloped her and it was comforting immediately. Calming her in a way nothing else could. Her lids fluttered shut and she fisted the front of his robes. "I'm sorry." She whispered, leaning her forehead into his chest.

"Me too, love." He sighed, brushing his lips across the top of her curls and running his hands up and down her arms. "I do think Sirius deserved a punch though."

"He's very punchable." Hermione agreed with a muffled chuff. Wrapping his arms around her, Remus kissed the top of her head and his deep even breaths fluttered the flyaways atop her head. He was thinking, she could practically sense it. The way his heart beat under her ear, the little huffs of breath through his nose, the slight tightening and release of his fingers at her back. 

"I-" He drew back and rubbed at his face with the flats of his palms. With a tired sigh he stepped back even further. "I shouldn't have run away. I did talk to Marlene, but only as a friend. She and I had a thing in fifth year and we tend to help each other with dating advice now." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was freaking out a bit." That made much more sense than Hermione's conclusions she'd hopped, skipped, and leapt to. "I don't want to get into the why, not right now, but I struggle to open up to girls like that. I'm-" He cut himself off with a pained sigh. He was afraid of how his condition could effect her. She saw it in the future, with his relationship with Tonks. They'd both been miserable because of it. But of course, this Remus didn't know that. 

"You don't have to explain." Hermione mumbled, stepping closer until she could rest her hands on his chest. Gazing up at him, Hermione tried to give him a reassuring smile which she was sure just looked watery and sad. "I like you a lot, but maybe now's not our time." It would never, and should never be her time. With anyone. Because Hermione was an anomaly who didn't belong here. Remus couldn't date her because he couldn't miss who had dated in the past. Those experiences led him to who he was. Every interaction with Hermione was dangerous in erasing his future. His horrible, lonely, painful future. 

Remus dropped his forehead to hers and sighed. "Maybe not." Even though she'd been the one to suggest it, it bloody hurt to hear him say it. She blinked back the burn in her eyes and rose to her tiptoes, giving his cheek a lingering kiss. 

"Maybe in another life." She whispered into the prickly stubble of his cheek before drawing back and turning away. Walking away with her watery gaze straight ahead, she didn't notice the confused look Remus watched her leave with. 

The rest of the group noticed the new gulf between Hermione, Remus, and Sirius but had the good sense not to comment. Apart from Peter. "What's up with you guys?" He asked, chewing on a licorices wand and falling into the sofa seat beside her, causing her homework to jolt and fall off her lap onto the floor. With a huff, she bent down and retrieved it, setting it right and continuing her essay. 

"Nothing."

"That's a lie." Peter snorted, chewing loudly. Hermione shot him a disgusted look and angled herself away. After several moments of silence Peter sighed, "Fine. Don't tell me. By the way, I might have found somewhere for DA meetings." She whirled on him, ears pricked. "That horrid little shack by the village. The haunted one. No one will find us there I bet."

Remus would hate that. Even twenty years later, Hermione had spied deep claw marks in the rotten wood and ruined furniture. "Maybe." She mumbled, "Might be hard to convince others."

Peter shrugged and bit down on another sweet, pulling it with his teeth until a bit snapped off. "Well it can be a back up then. I'll keep looking."

"Thanks Pete." She muttered, crossing out her whole last section and starting again. The quicker one of them found the Room of Requirement the better. 

§

If Hermione's appetite had been abysmal these past couple of months it was non-existent now. She hardly ate a thing, just enough to stave off the pains in her stomach and the lightheadedness in her skull. Lily, Mary, and Marlene were becoming increasingly worried. "Don't you want more than that?" Lily asked when Hermione only stomached two short carrot sticks before giving up and sipping coffee for lunch. 

Hermione shook her head. She really didn't. She knew she was losing weight again and that she really ought to try, like she had been doing. But she couldn't quite see the point. Everything tasted awful and that hunger she felt reminded her that she had at least one purpose left, which was to stay alive. Was it an oxymoron? Perhaps, but it worked to keep Hermione out of bed. It had been a couple of weeks since Sirius' birthday and finally her ankle felt better. She stood and grabbed another carrot stick to appease Lily. "Gonna go for a quick run before Ancient Runes, don't wait for me." The girls shot each other worried looks and Hermione marched from the hall and out the castle, transfiguring her robes into running gear on the way.

She ran much slower than usual. Her bones ached and her stomach hurt but she just wanted to feel the icy wind in her hair and on her bare skin. Anything to remind herself that while she was a purposeless mistake now, she was still alive. And that was something. Unable to love as deeply as she wanted. Unable to fight as fiercely as she needed. Without her Harry and Ron. She was adrift in a mundane world of essays and boy drama. At times it was nice. A soothing balm to the chaos of Hermione's life so far. But then she felt that deep seated panic. The worry for Harry, wherever he was. Whenever he was. Would he do it? Defeat Tom Riddle and live a happy life with Ginny forever more. Would Hermione be missing presumed dead from the moment he'd left her alone in the Forest of Dean, driven to do such a terrible thing by the horcrux hanging from his neck. He wouldn't forgive himself if he thought himself the reason she was dead. Tears ran down her face, biting in the cold wind and she relished the sting. Oh god, poor Harry. She sobbed, slowing to a stop and wrapping her arms around her middle. It felt hollow and boney and she cried harder. She wasn't meant to fall apart. Starve herself and sob because nothing else felt useful. Hermione Granger was the one with the answers, but now, in the 70s, she had them all with no where to put them. She could fix this all if Dumbledore just let her. But what would the consequences be? Who would die because of her actions. What if Harry was never born? Or Ron and Ginny? Or herself, what would happen then? There was no way to know, so she crouched on the shore of the Black Lake, hugging her empty stomach and crying into the stinging wind. 

Wednesday morning, Hermione trudged numbly to the hospital wing. The full moon had been last night so Remus would be recovering for the day under Madame Pomphrey's watchful eye. Their friendship was still careful and polite but the least she could do was bring him a bar of chocolate. She found him asleep in a bed under the window with James snoozing on a chair beside him. A little rat perched on his shoulder. Scabbers. Another flood of painful memories seized her and she took several deep breaths before opening her eyes. Hazel eyes bore into hers and she startled. 

"What are you doing here?" Remus rasped, his voice hoarse and pained. 

"Brought you this." She waved the chocolate and he blinked several times. "How are you?"

"How did you know I was in here?" He asked, staring at her so intently she had to look away. 

Hermione shrugged and pulled up a chair. To bite the bullet or not, that was the question. It had been three full moons and Hermione wasn't sure whether to let him tell her himself about his Lycanthropy or just do it for him. Let him know she didn't care, only cared that he was alright. That she wasn't scared and that she loved him anyway. But was that selfish? She didn't know so she stayed silent. 

"How are you?" 

Remus sighed and coursed a hand through his hair, there was a new scar on his temple, scabbed with blood and raised in a bruised bump. "A bit worse for wear." Hermione hummed and reached forward, gingerly lifting his tawny hair to run her fingers lightly over the new scar. 

"Looks nasty."

"Yeah..." Remus moved his head away until her fingers hovered limply between them. "Hit my head on a door."

"Ouch."

They fell into silence. Hermione glanced at James, still asleep, and Wormtail perched on his shoulder. His little nose sniffing and whiskers twitching. If she felt more alive she might tease the boys, ask if James got a new pet since yesterday, but instead she just sighed and slid down in her chair. When Remus turned away from her and closed his eyes, she woke up James and told him to go back to the tower to change for breakfast.

They walked back in tandem alone, for Peter had scurried from her sight the moment her back was turned. "Why wasn't Sirius with you guys?"

James glanced at her. "He's probably in the dorm with Peter."

"Right." Hermione rolled her eyes and rubbed at her face, suddenly very tired. Keeping secrets was hard work. Her hands fell with a long sigh and they began climbing the stairs. "Are they still fighting? Remus and Sirius?"

James frowned, "Well not physically. What happened? Neither will say."

Hermione wasn't going to either and ignored his question. In the common room, she waited for him to shower and change before they made their way down to breakfast. 

A few days later Hermione stood against the wall in the DADA classroom, watching her classmates duel. It was terribly polite and with very good sportsmanship. "New pairing." Harkin clapped his hands and spent two sparks to search through the crowd. They burst in front of Sirius' face and then Remus'. Hermione went pale. The boys slowly made their way to the duelling area, gripping their wands and settling into position. They gave one another a quick bow and Remus immediately shot off a slicing hex. 

"Level three hexes and curses and below, please Mister Lupin." Harkin reminded them nervously.

Suddenly Hermione felt herself flanked by the girls, all watching the duel with baited breath. Lily's hand found hers and squeezed tightly. So everyone had worked out she was involved in their fight in some way then, that was just great. Sirius bared his teeth and shot back a stinging hex, easily deflected by Remus. They circled one another, ignoring the fencing like back and forth of Duelling rules. They shot hex after hex, curse after curse at one another, getting in slices and stings and boils and burns when they could. Professor Harkin was shouting at them to stop by the time Remus whirled on Sirius and shot a perfect Petrificus Totalus, sending Sirius to freeze and fall to the floor with a sickening crack. Breathing hard, Remus glowered down at him for a moment before marching past him and straight out the door. 

"I guess they're still fighting." Mary added unhelpfully. Harkin ended the lesson with a resigned sigh and released Sirius from the body bind. Immediately Sirius rolled onto his back and groaned, rubbing at his sore head. 

"I'll take him to the hospital wing." Hermione murmured. They needed to talk. 

They walked side by side in tense silence, weaving through students hurrying to class and shouting to friends. Turning the corner, they began to descend the stairs when the staircase moved, changing direction. 

"Fucking useless things." Hermione muttered, leaning against the balustrade. She was so tired. 

"You're in a mood." Sirius muttered.  The stairs continued to swing in the complete opposite direction than they needed.

"Why are you and Remus still fighting?"

Sirius mirrored her position against the opposite railing and crossed his arms. "Why have you been avoiding me since we kissed."

Hermione didn't answer and when the staircase reconnected to the balcony walkways she trotted down the steps. 

"I'm not Moony," Sirius jogged to catch up. "You can ignore me all you like, I'll pester you until I get an answer like the dog I am." 

She ignored him and picked up the pace but his long legs matched her pace easily. 

"Why have you been avoiding me, kitten? Was it the kiss? Was it bad for you? Don't lie, kitten, you're a fucking awful liar. It's always written all over your face." He hissed, walking briskly next to her. "What's wrong? I thought the kiss was pretty good myself, and I thought you were into it until Remus burst in and interrupted us. Then," He barked out a bitter laugh, "Then you looked at me like I'd fucking murdered your pare-" Sirius clamped his lips shut. 

She whirled on him, wide eyed. He had not been about to say what she thought he had, had he?! 

"Fuck. That's not- I didn't mean- I didn't say it! I didn't mean it! Hermione!" 

But it was too late. She was running. 

She didn't bother transfiguring her robes this time. The need to run, to move, was too great. She discarded her robes somewhere, she couldn't remember where, and ran in her school jumper and skirt, sensible loafers crunching on gravel before thudding softly onto the cold frozen grounds. Her arms and legs burned and she used up every tiny morsel of fight in her muscles to drive herself forward. She thundered on, relishing in the biting wind and burn of her muscles. She didn't stop until she was on the other side of the lake, and only then because she tripped and fell, tweaking her bad ankle. She crashed to the ground and splayed out beneath the grey sky with a groan. Everything ached and her ankle throbbed with pain. Likely broken, Hermione noted idly. She panted hard, staring at the undulating clouds above. Perhaps she ought to just leave. Study for her NEWTs by herself and take them at the ministry. Dumbledore had already helped secure her an identity and history in order to place her at the school, it was possible. But the press of loneliness was too much, and her new friends, her new family danced happily at the edges of her mind. She'd lost everyone once and she was barely surviving. If she lost Lily and James, Sirius, Mary and Marlene, even Peter, not to mention Remus; well Hermione didn't think she'd even want to survive. To love was to live, it was a concept Hermione was beginning to realise drove her very being. She'd lost her main reason for loving fiercely before, her parents and her friends. She couldn't do it again. 

Hermione pressed the heels of her hands into her sockets until she saw patterns dancing bright and flaring behind her lids. "I can't do it. I can't fucking do it." She murmured over and over. Finally, whether through sheer exhaustion or emotion, Hermione passed out under a darkening sky. 

Someone was jostling her and shining a very bright light into her eyes. She squirmed and tried to push them away. "Now then Miss Granger, don't fight and this will be over with soon." Said a stern matronly voice. Hermione panicked and fought harder. "Miss Granger! Calm yourself." When the light left Hermione found herself in the hospital wing staring into the exasperated face of Madame Pomphrey. Instantly she calmed. "That's better. Well done." Pomphrey said, peeling back Hermione's eyelids and shining a light from her wand into the pupils, one then the other. "Well you don't seem to have hit your head."

"What about her ankle?" Came a worried voice to her right. She looked, startled, to find all of her friends at her bedside in various displays of worry. Mary and Marlene were nibbling their lips and holding hands. Lily was chewing her nails and leaning back against James who stood with a clenched jaw and furrowed brow. Peter sat, bouncing his knee and looking at her with wide watery eyes, while Sirius paced back and forth avoiding everyone's gaze. It was Remus who had spoken though, and he sat beside her, holding her hand and soothing little circles into her palm with his thumb. She squeezed back making him look at her. His face, stoic and concerned but oh so beautiful, pulled into a tight smile which she was sure he thought was reassuring. 

"Broken!" Pomphrey declared. "Nothing I can't fix. She'll be out of here by tomorrow morning." The group let out a sigh of relief. 

"What happened?" Hermione asked in a small voice. 

Pomphrey clicked her tongue and gestured to Remus, who explained, "Well, you never came back after DADA and we got worried. We couldn't find you anywhere and we couldn't see you on the- anywhere. So when Sirius turned up in a godawful mood we asked if you guys had had a fight and he said you'd ran off." She glanced at Sirius who ignored her and continued to pace, chewing on his thumbnail. "We went out into the grounds where you usually like to run and it took ages, you ran a really long way, but we found you. You'd passed out and weren't coming round even for a rennervate." 

"How do you know where I like to run?" Hermione asked, suddenly very aware of the dull throb in her ankle. 

"Peter saw you." James said. Of course, the bloody spy. "It's a good job because otherwise we'd have been totally lost and you'd still be out there now."

"Why'd you run off, darling?" Lily asked, leaning on the edge of Hermione's bed and taking her free hand. Remus still kept her other captive, even with his carefully guarded expression. 

Hermione glanced at Sirius who had stilled, tense and poised. "Just needed to." She said quietly.

"Well I'd like to know why your nutrition levels are worse than when you came here, Miss Granger." Pomphrey said sharply. "Everyone out." The matron instructed and while she was met with grumbles they got up to leave.

"Wait!" Hermione felt panic slice through her. "Lily, will you stay?" She knew herself. She hated disappointing people, especially authority figures and admitting her lack of appetite to Madame Pomphrey felt like a failure somehow. Lily would hold her accountable and Hermione reckoned she could do with a bit of help now. The group trudged away, casting worried looks over their shoulders, and Hermione didn't miss Remus' dark expression before he left. 

Taking a seat, Pomphrey assumed a kindly expression that immediately made Hermione want to cry. "Now, dear. Talk to me about your eating habits."

So she did. She admitted that she couldn't stomach food anymore. That everything tasted ashen in her mouth and she had no desire to eat. That she liked the pain in her stomach as it reminded her she was alive. When she couldn't remember exactly what she ate each day, Lily produced a small notebook which had detailed Hermione's food intake religiously for the past few weeks. After Sirius' birthday it had dipped again. 

Finally, Hermione dried her cheeks and turned to Pomphrey. "I want to eat. I don't want to be like this, I just don't have any energy to do it. I don't care about it anymore and I don't know how to get it back." 

The lanterns on the wall flickered and bathed the three witches in warm orange light. It was a draughty old room with tall ceilings and insufficient warming charms, as such Hermione was shivering even under the blanket. "Well," Pomphrey said kindly, "you have been through an awful lot, my dear. I think for now, you shall take your meals in here with me until your appetite has expanded. You may bring Miss Evans if you like." It sounded awful but Hermione nodded and grasped Lily's hand. 

Lily left after she and Hermione had slurped down some bone broth and warm bread under the watch of Madame Pomphrey. When Hermione had finished her bowl and felt fit to burst, Pomphrey patted her shoulder and said she'd done brilliantly. A small pit of warmth bloomed in her stomach and it felt like something. Lily left not long after and Hermione turned as much as her sore ankle would allow, curling the blanket under her chin and closing her eyes. Enough was enough now. She needed to be better. To try. 

The rumours of her little incident made the rounds fairly quickly and she ignored the gaping gawps of the student body as she moved through the castle. Her friends had taken residence beside her, flanking her sides and ensuring she made it to class safely without running away and breaking her ankle. Flanked by Remus and Lily, she walked to Ancient Runes with food heavy on her mind. It was getting harder to finish Pomphrey's meals and Hermione was growing to hate the witch. Standing over her and watching her every mouthful. It was only Lily's easy presence that kept her calm. Suddenly Severus Snape, Regulus Black, and Barty Crouch Jr. stepped in front of them. 

"What do we have here?" Barty sneered, delight alight in his pinched face. 

"Shove it, Crouch." Remus replied, attempting to barge past them while shielding Hermione and Lily. 

"Looks like a mudblood, a wolf, and a little anorexic bitch."

The words stilled Hermione's heart for more reasons than one. Remus kept muttering angrily, trying to shove past them. 

"Really?" Lily said quietly to Snape, who stood silent and glaring. He shrugged and stepped back, letting her pass. Grabbing her hand, Lily marched past with Hermione, Remus bringing up the rear quickly."The hell is their problem?" Lily grumbled as they entered the classroom.

"Bored bigoted bullies." Hermione replied, sliding into her seat. 

"Good alliteration." Remus remarked and they shared a rare look of ease between them before turning their attention to Professor Babbling. 

After the incident Sirius began avoiding Hermione, and as she was still avoiding him, it meant they only saw one another in lessons and that was it. She could tell Lily and Mary were steaming at the ears with desperation to know what had happened between them, but Hermione would not say. As such, she began spending time with Marlene for a little respite from the exacting looks and clumsy subject changes. She met Marlene from quidditch practice, James still flying laps as part of his personal practice time, and walked her back to the tower. 

"Honestly I'd love an indoor pitch. Winter conditions are no joke a hundred feet in the air at seventy miles an hour." Marlene grumbled, visibly shaking. 

"We have magic, can't Dumbledore cast some spells that protect the pitch from the elements when it's really bad?"

Marlene shook her head, "And disrespect the game? Never."

Hermione hummed in thought and as they passed the Troll Tapestry Hermione glanced at Marlene, an idea forming. "Wouldn't it be great though? To have an indoor pitch. Would it look like a football one?" Hermione said, suddenly changing direction. Deep in thought, Marlene followed her and hummed. 

"Maybe, it'd have to be tall."

Hermione changed direction again. Like clockwork, a distracted Marlene followed. When it came to the third pass Marlene stopped halfway down the hall and put her hands on her hips. "What are you doing? I'm freezing, let's go!"

But it had worked. A door appeared in the stonework and Hermione stared at it until Marlene got the hint and turned. "What is that? I've never seen a door here before."

"Open it." Hermione suggested, drawing closer.

To her surprise Marlene laughed, "A strange door that appeared from nowhere in a magic castle? No thanks." She wouldn't last a day with Harry Potter, Hermione thought, pushing past and opening the large wooden door with a creak. Her feet found soft grass and the ceiling towered high above, enchanted like the night sky. 

"Holy shit." Marlene gasped, wandering in behind her. "It's an indoor pitch. Look!" She pointed to a series of tall hoops and the markings on the ground. There was even a changing area with curtained cubicles by the door. "Woah, had this always been here? Dumbledore, that jive turkey! He's been holding out on us!" 

"I've read about these." Hermione said and predictably Marlene rolled her eyes. "It's a come and go room. It takes the shape of whatever is needed by those who ask."

"Help will always be given to those at Hogwarts who ask for it." Marlene parroted quietly, gazing around. She turned to Hermione suddenly, "Say, we could use this for the DA!" 

Hermione grinned. Finally! 

Chapter Text

It took two weeks for Madame Pomphrey to allow Hermione to return to the Great Hall for unsupervised meals. 'Unsupervised' was perhaps a description with heavy artistic license, for Lily still ate beside her, monitoring in her own way. Hermione still felt ill and awful every time she ate but she forced herself to and soon the sharp points of her hips smoothed into gentle bumps under springy skin. Her hair seemed livelier and shinier and her skin slowly regained a healthy pink glow. As such, the entire friendship group seemed to relax a little more and stopped treating Hermione as if she were fragile. She lazed on the sofa between Peter and Marlene as a storm raged outside. Quidditch had been cancelled and James had been in such a foul mood Lily had sent him off to bed, only to follow moments later. 

"Do you think they're doing it?" Peter asked, chomping on a lemon sherbet. 

"I dunno, Pete. I don't really care." Hermione sighed, massaging the headache at her temples. 

"Stop being weird, Pete." Marlene echoed, sucking the end of her quill with a puzzled expression. Potions was not her subject but she was determined to get a NEWT in it. 

"Should I go see?"

"No!" The girls yelled in unison. He sighed and slumped down further, bored but not bored enough to resort to school work. "Where's Sirius?"

"I don't know, Peter. Check the map."

"Moony has it."

Hermione was very steadily losing her patience. "Well where's Remus?"

Peter shrugged and looked more and more like a petulant child. 

"When is the DA meeting again?" He asked five minutes later. 

"In one hour." Hermione and Marlene sighed in tandem. 

"Cool."

They ignored him and carried on with their school work until he grew bored enough to pick up his potions homework too. 

When the common room filled, the three were joined by James and Lily and they made their way to the Room of Requirement. Hermione and Marlene had raced to show Lily and James the minute they 'found' it and had spent several evenings working out how best to configure the space. Tonight was the first meeting of the DA, the new Duelling Association, and they expected a good chunk of students from fifth year upwards across three houses. No Slytherins had been told, for obvious reasons. Everyone in Ravenclaw had been warned, by Hermione's instruction, to be cautious of discussing the DA around Barty Crouch Jr., and as such, it was hoped that the little gang of young Death Eaters had no idea. They met Sirius there, already pacing in front of the door and Remus joined them five minutes later looking tired and pained. The full moon would be upon them soon. 

With Peter stood outside to usher people in, they waited nervously for the first participants to arrive. A slew of Gryffindors arrived first, blinking in amazement at the room they found themselves in. It was much like the room Neville had found in Hermione's time, but a little larger and with far more crash mats. Next Hufflepuffs bustled in, crowded in a large giggly group that immediately brought a sense of excitement to the space. Small groups of Ravenclaws came next, as well as any late comers and stragglers. 

"Welcome!" James said, clapping his hands and drawing everyone's attention once the full guest list had arrived. Over the past few days Hermione and Lily had gathered a list of names, much like in Hermione's fifth year, and urged the importance of secrecy to everyone. This time, Hermione let people know of the curse upon signing, meaning any Marietta Edgeborn's could hopefully be avoided. Hermione still felt horribly guilty and proudly vindicated by that particular incident. 

"This Duelling Association is to help us prepare for the real world. As we all know, Defence Against the Dark Arts professors are rarely good and the position is said to be cursed, meaning all of our education on that front has been haphazard at best. This club is to help us hone our practical skills in a safe environment. It is not sanctioned by Dumbledore or any other faculty member, so if that is a problem for you, leave now and forever hold your peace."

"Or else." Sirius smirked, waving his wand in a threatening manner. A loud titter broke out and Lily brought them to heel. 

"We've prepared these charmed galleons to communicate dates and times of the meetings, and we'll try and work around existing clubs and quidditch." She handed out two pouches of charmed galleons that she and Hermione had spent all last night bewitching. It had been Hermione's idea of course, but she was insistent that no one knew this. If Lily had found that strange, she didn't say. 

"When do we get to fight?!" Shouted a sixth year boy at the back. Laughter broke out again and James turned to Hermione, gesturing for her to take the floor. 

Taking a deep breath, she envisioned Harry back in fifth year. Calm and collected and utterly sure of himself. In some way, it felt like he was walking beside her as she took centre stage, and she imagined him there. It wasn't hard when James hovered in her peripheral, and for a moment she allowed herself to believe it was her Harry. "We'll work on drilling spells first in pairs, then at the end we'll open the floor for any duels. Although we will operate with less rules than in class, this isn't a teacher approved duelling club after all, there are still safety measures we have to abide by. I don't care if you really want to try a slicing hex on a prat that annoyed you with no warning, no one gets badly hurt. If you do, alert myself or the head boy and girl first and we'll take care of you." The group murmured and shifted, perhaps realising for the first time that Hermione meant business. They could get seriously hurt if they weren't careful. In all likelihood, they would sustain injuries if they were fighting properly. 

The session commenced and Hermione, Sirius, and Remus walked around the group inspecting different pairs and their fighting styles. As the top three DADA students in their year, they'd appointed themselves as teacher while keeping the floor open for anyone who excelled at a particular spell to take lead. The next few hours passed quickly and when they opened the floor for a controlled fight, there were several keen up-takers. The fighting was sloppy and unsure. Duellists who were used to demurring to a points system hesitated far too much, while green fighters slewed off a barrage of spells that missed the mark. They had a lot of work to do. By the end of the session everyone was exhausted and dousing themselves in water from their wands. "Good work everyone, we'll meet next week. Do not lose those bloody galleons!" Lily yelled as people shuffled out the door in small surreptitious groups.  

"That went well!" Mary grinned, sprawled on a crash mat and pressing a transfigured sweat towel to her neck. 

Hermione hummed in agreement and surveyed the space. It had, Harry would be proud. But she could no longer feel him beside her and the room looked wrong. This wasn't her DA. Casting a cooling charm, Hermione transfigured her workout gear back into her school clothes and pulled Mary to her feet, ready to walk back to the tower. 

"I'll walk with you." Remus murmured, falling into step beside them as they headed for the door. Mary smirked and proclaimed to have forgotten something, urging them to go on without her. They left into the dark hallway and began a slow careful walk back to the tower. 

"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked, worried about the full moon in a few days. He startled and glanced at her, slowing until he'd stopped in a patch of moonlight. Silver beams spread across his tawny skin, catching the silver in his scars and making him glow, almost like a Kintsugi statue. 

"Why do you ask?" He sounded suspicious and Hermione wondered whether she should just address the elephant in the room. But no, it was his place, not hers. 

She shrugged. "You look as if you're getting ill again. Will I have to bring you chocolate in hospital in a few days?" In an act of bravery, she linked her arm through his and tugged them out of the moonlight. 

"Hermione..." Remus inhaled sharply and looked down at their feet. Walking in tandem beside one another. His large scuffed brown shoes, next to her black brogues with missing aglets. 

"I've missed you, you know?" Hermione ploughed on, greedily lapping at this unforeseen tap of bravery that had been hidden for weeks. "I know things aren't great with us, and the romantic stuff didn't pan out..." She bit her lip and forced herself to carry on, "But I love you and miss you, Remus Lupin. You're one of my best friends."

They slowed to a stop once again, deep in the shadows. He turned to her and cradled her hands in his. She waited, just about on the right side of patient, for him to speak. It seemed he wasn't going to. Just casually swiping his thumbs back and forth along the soft skin of the backs of her hands. Then he took a deep breath in, expanding his broad chest and holding it before letting it go in a warm rush of chocolate and tea. Hermione inhaled, slightly dizzy from a scent that felt so good. 

"I've missed you too." 

She'd wondered during his contemplative silence if he was finally going to tell her, but he didn't. Instead he looped her arm back through his and walked her back to the tower. 

§

The December full moon boasted a clear night sky with glittering compacted snow frozen on the ground. It was beautiful. Completely and utterly divine in visage with bright white snow sparkling under the silvery beams of moonlight, and the dark trees springing from the ground, dusted with thick snow atop. Hermione sat in the cushioned windowsill of her dorm room, looking out over the forbidden forest. Was Remus running about this month? With the Marauders in tow, keeping his wolf in check. Or was he fighting with Sirius in the shrieking shack? Taking out the human's anger to his very best friend. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back with a thunk. She needed to stop caring so much. It was dangerous. Not just to time, but to her. She couldn't care this much for anyone. Not anymore. Hermione didn't belong here! But there was no way home, so short of upsetting the time continuum or resorting to desperate acts, she would have to just deal. 

"Alright, Hermione?" Lily asked in a worried tone, slipping out of bed and padding to the window. Hermione opened her eyes, watching the full moon beam bright and powerful down on the forest. 

"The moon is so powerful." Hermione mused, leaning her temple on the cold glass. Lily shuffled to squeeze in opposite her, their legs bracketing one another until entwined. If it weren't for the difference in skin tone, Hermione wouldn't know whose were whose. 

"It is. Beautiful too."

"Devastating." Hermione corrected. Because wasn't it just? It devastated with it's beauty. Its power. The hurt and ruin it could reap was catastrophic. Life changing. 

"I know you know." Lily whispered, tucking her knees to her chest and leaning close. "He'll be okay. They'll look after him." 

Hermione nodded, because she knew. She knew he'd be okay because he'd live to survive them all. 

It turned out she couldn't wait for morning proper, so Hermione slipped unseen through the dark early morning hallways of Hogwarts to wait in the hospital wing. The sun had barely risen when Pomphrey bewitched two stretchers into the wing. Hermione gasped and shot to her feet. 

"Miss Granger, these are not visiting hours." Pomphrey scolded, setting each stretcher to rest atop a bed.

Hermione ignored her and surged forward, covering her mouth in horror. It was Remus and Sirius. Both were naked except for a sheet covering their modesty. Remus was sporting several lacerations which oozed dark red blood across his tawny skin. His leg rested at a strange angle and it looked as if there were bite marks around his ankles and wrists. Sirius wasn't much better. He bore a large bite mark in his right thigh, bright red against his pale skin, and several scratches across his shoulder and pectoral. They'd been fighting.

"Miss Granger, you really cannot be here."

"I can help. Let me help. Please." Hermione pleaded, already turning and extracting blood replenishing potions, numbing salves, clotting potions, and essence of dittany. 

Pomphrey blinked, impressed, and allowed her to stay as long as she made herself useful. "I have no doubt their friends will be along soon. I must inform Mr. Black's parents of this. He's been bitte-" She cut herself off and looked as if she were about to order Hermione away again. So she cut in.

"Don't! Not his parents! Let him wake first and tell you what to do."

Pomphrey perused her lips unhappily, "That is not procedure, Miss Granger. He is a child-"

"He's eighteen. He's been an adult in this world for over a year and he's a legal adult in the muggle world too. It's Sirius' decision. Don't tell his parents. Please." Besides, they'd be severely misled when Sirius, an animagus, did not develop a single lycanthropy symptom. 

Pomphrey continued her work unhappily and soon James and Peter clattered into the wing. "Ah, Mr. Potter. Mr. Pettigrew. How fortunate your midnight stroll brought you here." She snarked and Hermione realised Pomphrey knew far more than she let on. "They will be okay." She added kindly. 

James rushed to Hermione's side and ran a hand over Sirius' damp hair. "What happened?" Hermione whispered. 

He dropped his voice, "A big fight. It was horrible. Just canines and growls and lots of snapping. They both gave as good as they got. Wormtail ran away, useless shit, and I couldn't break it up. Moony even started hunting me at one point." He stilled and stared at her wide eyed. "I mean-"

"Stop it. Obviously I know what's going on." Hermione rolled her eyes and dabbed essence of dittany onto Sirius' leg. "Animagus' can't get infected."

James nodded seriously and let out a relieved sigh. "So he'll be okay?" Hermione nodded and soon the wound had closed up and healed with a nice pink scar. When she'd healed Sirius' shoulder, James turned to her low and serious. "When did you figure it out?"

She smiled and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Since I met you all."

"I thought you didn't remember."

Hermione shrugged and uncorked a pain potion, gesturing for James to tilt Sirius' head. She poured it down and clamped a hand over his mouth to get him to swallow. Once he had, the tension in his face drained and he fell into a comfortable sleep. They glanced at Wormtail, who was sat beside Remus' chair and staring at him with a hard expression. "Is he okay? Peter?"

James scoffed. "He barely saw the fight. Ran as soon as Moony started growling. God sometimes he can just be so..."

"Spineless?" Hermione whispered, keeping her eyes trained on the little rat. 

James didn't say anything but he didn't deny it either. Was this the start of it then? The fissure that would crack so deep that Peter would play a hand in the cold blooded murder of his friends.  

When Pomphrey was finished she left to update the headmaster and left Hermione in charge of the boys' care. At once, Hermione sent James and Peter off to bed, insisting there was nothing more they could do. She then monitored Remus and Sirius closely, checking their vitals with the spells she'd learned specifically for the horcrux hunt. With Harry attracting danger as he did, and Hermione the likely target of death eaters anyway, she'd thought it prudent the study up. She was so proficient that when Madame Pomphrey returned the witch had been most impressed. "Why, you're a natural, Miss Granger!" She'd offered Hermione a medi-witch intern role within the wing, giving her much needed experience should she with to pursue a healer's education at St. Mungo's after leaving school. 

"A healer?" Lily gasped at breakfast. "That's fantastic."

"That would really suit you." Mary agreed, buttering a piece of toast. 

"Right?!" Hermione said happily, it was the best she'd felt about her future since Dumbledore's news. Finally she could be of use. Have a purpose! What better than to dedicate one's life, and infinite reserves of love, to the healing and restoration of sick witches and wizards. It was perfect! "I'm going to take her up on it. I felt so lost before, but now... now I can see a future for myself, y'know?"

"That's great, Hermione!" Marlene reached forward and squeezed her hand. "You'll be brilliant." 

The days of academic idleness were no more, and Hermione returned to the library with a fresh fervour. Scouring the shelves for everything healing related, including the restricted section which Dumbledore had failed to tell Madame Pince that she no longer needed unfettered access to.

She was deep in a stack of books on basic healing when a tall dark figure appeared before her. She looked up and startled. "Oh. What do you want?"

Regulus Black shifted from one foot to the other. "I heard my idiot brother is in the hospital. Will he die?"

Was this the Black family's way of enquiring after one's health? If so, it explained a lot. "He'll be fine. Had a nasty cut to his thigh and shoulder. All healed now though, I think he'll be discharged either today or tomorrow."

Regulus nodded and walked away, his face a smooth mask of indifference. 

When she returned to the hospital wing that evening armed with chocolate for Remus and a stack of get well soon cards from admirers for Sirius. "Delivery!" She smiled, handing Remus his chocolate. He took it gratefully and snapped off a large chunk with his teeth. 

"'anks." He chewed, offering her a bite.

She shook her head and walked to the next bed over. 

"Sirius, these are for you." 

He looked up from his quidditch magazine and took the stack of cards. "Why are they open?"

Hermione squirmed. "Well, I didn't think accidentally being poisoned by amortencia would be a good way to recover so I inspected them first. I didn't read them though, I promise."

Sirius snorted and leafed through them with idle interest. None must have caught his affections for he dumped them unceremoniously in the bin next to his bed. "Were any of them laced?"

"Actually yes." Hermione sighed, "Poor Peter thinks he's in love with a fourth year Hufflepuff called Brunhelda." 

"Really?" Sirius sat up with a delighted grin. 

"No, you idiot, they were fine. I'm just paranoid." And for good reason, she thought privately. He chuffed and settled back against the pillows. "How are you?"

Sirius shrugged and glanced under his lashes at Remus, who was halfway through his chocolate by now and reading a Richard Dawkins book. Hermione did a double take at the text and made a mental note to borrow it from him later. "Sore but surviving." 

"I'm glad." She smiled, playing with the edges of his blanket with nervous fingers. Ever since her incident they'd hardly talked to one another, and they'd barely been talking before that since the kiss. "I really am glad you're alright, Sirius." She met his inquisitive gaze and relaxed when his fingers found hers, stilling her fidgets. 

"Thanks, Kitten. It's nice to know you don't wish me dead. Anymore."

She rolled her eyes.

"I mean with the canaries and the duelling, it was touch and go there-"

"Sirius."

"But I said to myself, says I, Sirius Orion Black - the third- , she will come around-"

"Shut up you daft bugger." Hermione groaned, backing away to the safe calm of Remus.

"For who can resist the charms of such a handsome devil?!" 

Hermione chucked a spare pillow at his head and burst out laughing, soon Sirius' deep chuckle joined and even one or two snorts of amusement from Remus. 

After helping Pomphrey with the evening duties, namely stock inventory and tidying the wing, Hermione prodded at Remus until he scooched over and she could sit next to him. She settled her head on his shoulder and together they read about evolutionary theory. 

Both young men left the hospital the morning after and were met with riotous reception from their fellow marauders at the breakfast table. "There they are!" James cheered, standing on a bench and spreading his arms wide. "Moony! My Moony! Padfoot; a brave warrior! Returned home to the loving bosom of their friends!"

"Get down you idiot!" Lily laughed, tugging James down by the trouser leg. He fell into his seat and kissed her once, twice, three times victorious. If only Harry could witness his parent's love, Hermione thought. 

Remus sank into the seat beside her and slumped to rest his temple on her shoulder. "Tired?" She chuckled, pouring him a hot tea with four sugars and a dash of milk. He grunted and she slid the tea into his open palm.

"Thanks, love." He muttered, not moving a muscle or opening a lid to take a long drag from his mug. 

Sirius, in typical dog-who-has-been-poorly-and-sorely-touch-starved fashion, climbed into James' lap and stole his breakfast. "Ugh! Gerrof, Pads!"

"Fuck off, Prongs." Sirius grumbled, stuffing half of James' breakfast into his gob. 

"So..." Lily leaned forward gathering the attention of their group. "Are you two friends again now?"

"Yeah, did a little hospital stay bond you two again?" Mary asked. 

They glanced at one another, and though there was a flicker of tension in Sirius' eyes and a clench of Remus' jaw, they both nodded. It was stilted and silent, but a truce nonetheless. 

"Thank fuck." Peter rolled his eyes, stuffing a jam soaked bit of bread in his mouth. 

§

December rolled on mercilessly and they met three more times with the DA before the school holidays. Hermione, with no family to speak of, was obviously staying at school over Christmas. It wasn't her first time but it would be the first Christmas without Harry and Ron. 

"You should come with us, kitten." Sirius said, crashing into the sofa seat beside her. "The Potter's have plenty of room."

She glanced at James, who nodded eagerly. It might be nice, to meet Harry's grandparents, who he had never known because they had died before he was even born. But then, she would never be able to share those memories with him. So it would just be two more ghosts. "I don't want to intrude."

Sirius and James snorted. "Intrude?!" James chuckled, "Please, my mum would be overjoyed, she loves house guests."

"It's true, they basically adopted me the moment I stayed there over Christmas in third year." Sirius grinned. 

"That's because you're a loveable stray dog, Sirius." Hermione rolled her eyes. True to fashion, Sirius preened and tipped until his head was in her lap. Used to this by now, though it had been a while, Hermione stroked his hair. A content sigh blew through Sirius' nostrils and he closed his eyes. "Still," She said, "I want to use the library-" The boys groaned.

"My mum was a healer, back when she worked. Still does some stuff for St. Mungo's now." James said, peaking Hermione's interest. 

"Really?"

"Sure," Sirius echoed, eyes still closed in bliss. "Effie is one of the best healers in the country. Everyone knows that." Everyone of this era, apparently. She glanced down to find Sirius' gaze narrowed on her and she looked away quickly. "So you'll come with us?"

Hermione shrugged. She'd think about it. The portrait hole opened and Remus and Lily wandered in. Immediately Remus and Sirius locked eyes and after a moment, Sirius slowly got up and shuffled further down the sofa. Taking his place, Lily squeezed in-between them, talking a million miles a minute about a highly competitive potions apprenticeship Professor Slughorn had recommended her for. The conversation turned to that and while Hermione engaged, congratulating her friend who really did deserve such an opportunity, she couldn't help but watch Remus and Sirius. They did not look at one another again, after that tense filled moment, and sat on opposite sides of the group. Perhaps the truce wasn't as effective as they'd all hoped. 

Later, Hermione and Remus headed to the library to work on their Arithmancy equations. Sat at Hermione's preferred table, they quietly completed their work together, sharing the ancient tome that Professor Babbling had recommended for the assignment. Soft candlelight bathed Remus in a hazy orange glow that made Hermione want to shift her chair closer and bury her nose in his soft woollen jumper. She flexed her fingers and got back to work. They'd agreed nothing could happen between them and for very good reasons. 

"Shit." Remus sighed, leaning back and rubbing his eyes. "It's past curfew, we should go."

Hermione looked up. The library was empty and doused in darkness, only their little alcove alight. 

"Oh." She breathed. Gathering their things, they packed them away and returned the tome to it's home. "Do you have the map?" She asked as they spilled out into the cold dark halls. Remus shook his head and they walked quietly, keeping an ear out for patrolling prefects and teachers. Whilst Remus was a prefect, he wasn't on duty, so was liable as any other student to get in trouble out after curfew. Their footsteps echoed on the stone floor and Hermione doused their persons in a muffliato. 

"What was that spell?" Remus whispered. 

Damnit.

Muffliato was only known to Snape and his friends at this point, having been the inventor. Hermione wasn't meant to know it yet. "Uh, I heard, uh, Snape use it the other day. Then he was inaudible." She said at a normal volume, for no one outside of her and Remus would hear her right now. "I tried it and I think it works." Remus frowned but seemed interested and so she explained the spell and incantation. By the time they made it back to the tower, he performed it perfectly. 

"This'll come in handy." He grinned, crawling through the portrait hole. The common room was dark and empty with only a few embers smouldering in the hearth. 

"Oh I bet you and the boys will find lots of uses for it." Hermione rolled her eyes, grabbing his hand to steady herself as she crawled through. 

"Come explain it to them." Remus said suddenly, still holding her hand. His skin was warm and slightly coarse, threaded with little scratches and scars. She glanced down at their hands and run her thumb along the expanse of skin. His grip tightened ever so slightly before he dropped away. "If you want."

"It's late. They'll be asleep."

"Right."

He bit his lip and they turned and walked towards the dormitory staircases. "Well goodnight, I guess." It seemed to her that he wasn't ready to say goodnight, and truth be told neither was she. It had felt like a long time, their rift, and now that it was gone she found she had missed him more than she thought possible.

"Remus?" 

He turned back, looking hopeful.

"I'm not tired."

He glanced between her and the sofa and nibbled his lower lip. "Shall we sit then?"

She nodded and they settled next to one another on the sofa. Remus leaned forward and shot an incendio at the fireplace, lighting a small crackling fire that flooded them with warmth and a golden glow. He leaned back and Hermione, drew in by his warmth and scent, settled into his side. When he wrapped an around around her shoulder she sighed in relief, wondering if this was how Sirius felt when she pet his hair. 

"I missed you." She whispered, looping an arm around his middle. Remus' hand came to stroke idle caresses into her curls and she closed her eyes, completely at ease. Safe. 

"I missed you too, Hermione." 

They fell asleep there, cuddled on the sofa with a warm fire at their feet. At some point they tipped and when Hermione woke in the early hours of the morning, when not even the cold blue light of dawn had broken, she was laying on top of him, hugging him tightly. Remus' held her to him with one hand, the other underneath his head. Their legs tangled, even as his feet lolled sideways off the sofa, too short for his tall form. Hermione blinked into the softness of his jumper, wondering if she should wake them so they could go to bed. But he slept so soundly, and she felt so peaceful, that she wanted to close her eyes and nod off again. But they'd never hear the end of it if anyone found them in this state in the morning, so she sat up, jostling Remus awake. After rubbing sleep from his eyes, he stood and walked her to the base of her dorm stairs. "James said you might go to his for Christmas."

"Oh, yeah, maybe. I've not decided."

He nodded and scratched the back of his neck. "Sirius will be there."

"I know."

"I might come visit too, for a couple of days. Pete lives close by, so he'll be there a lot as well. Plus Lily will want to spend as little time with her family as possible. I think she'll be there too."

A whole affair, it seemed. Hermione leaned against the wall and watched him. 

"That's just to say, it'd be nice to see you. Over christmas." He finished awkwardly. 

She let out a sigh of relief and smiled. It had seemed for a moment he had a problem with her going because of a proximity to Sirius. "Well, it would be nice to see you too. All of you." She added quickly. He nodded and yawned suddenly, stifling it with a large palm. "I'll sleep on it." She promised, rising up to her toes and kissing his cheek. "Night, Remus."

He murmured goodnight and watched her climb the stairs until she was out of sight. 

When Lily heard Hermione might be staying at Potter Manor for the holidays she embarked on a one woman campaign to ensure this turn of events happened. "You simply must go!" Lily insisted as they sat down for Ancient Runes. "I'll be there for some of it. Monty and Effie are the best! Like, I wish they were my parents and I love my parents." Hermione chuckled and let her carry on. "It's a huge house too, so there's plenty of room. Please come! It'll be so fun. We can invite Mary and Marlene for New Years and have a party!"

That did sound fun. Over the last week of school Hermione's friends all did their bit to encourage her to go. Even Peter, who sat beside her in Care of Magical Creatures. They mixed up a meal of raw meat and bowtruckle oil for some poorly crups. "Do come, Effie will be glad for another woman in the house." Peter joked, rolling the meat into a ball and feeding it to a Crup pup. The little magical dog wagged its tails and snuffled for more. "Plus it'd be good to have you there."

"Really?" Hermione was surprised. She didn't think her and Peter were all that close. Probably something to do with the looming betrayal that would ruin the lives of himself and his friends in her memories. 

"Yeah, 'course." Peter shrugged, "Plus if you don't go, Moony will be all moony and missing you when he comes to visit and he's no fun like that."

She scoffed and picked up a crup puppy, cradling it to her chest. "Alright then," She decided. "I will." It struck her as odd that it had been Peter to convince her, but he really was a convincing fellow. The mystery of his future betrayal had never ceased in all the moments she'd been stuck in the seventies. He was funny and loyal, with a good sense of humour even if it bordered on the wrong side of crude for Hermione. He was a little creepy at times, but she put it down to his lack of sexual experience and subsequent teasing from Sirius, who never failed to lord it over him. But Peter was well liked, and as such, very likeable. Confusingly, Hermione did like Peter, and that felt like the biggest mystery of all. 

Chapter Text

Having been dumped through time and space into a magical forest on the night of a full moon, Hermione hadn't ridden the Hogwarts Express yet this school year. In fact, it was probably coming up close to a year since she had ridden it home for the summer after her sixth year. She walked onto the train with memories swarming her once more. Immediately Remus' hand found the small of her back and he dipped his head to whisper, "Alright?" He seemed to have a sixth sense for her trips down memory lane. Hermione nodded, blinking back tears, and passed the ghosts waiting in each compartment. Neville, looking for Trevor the toad, the first time she rode the train. Harry fainting from a dementor attack, and meeting Professor Lupin for the first time. Playing exploding snap with Ginny and Luna. Avoiding Malfoy and his little thugs. Sharing sweets with Ron and laughing with Harry. 

Remus guided her to the compartment at the end, the one where she'd met him for the first time in her timeline, and they sat down beside one another. Squeezing between Peter and Marlene. James, Lily, and Sirius sat on the opposite bench, already arguing. 

"So, what do you think?" Marlene turned to Hermione. 

"About what?"

"The train." Marlene laughed obviously. Oh right, Hermione wasn't meant to have seen this before.

She looked about and shrugged. "Smells a bit weird."

"That's just Wormy." Sirius quipped, earning a smack to the crotch from Peter. Predictably, it ended in a tousle between the bench seats and everyone had to pick up their feet to avoid flailing limbs. 

The train lurched forward, sending Sirius and Peter crashing beneath Hermione's bench and putting an end to their play-fight. They got up, grinning and panting, and found their seats again. 

"Where's Mary?" Hermione asked, and Marlene rolled her eyes. Apparently Mary and Will were becoming quite serious now, so she was riding home with him. Marlene seemed quite upset about it for some reason. 

When the trolley came round James and Sirius bought the compartment half of the available refreshments and they tucked in happily. "You're sure it's okay with your mum and dad?" Hermione asked for the third time that day.

Sirius snorted, "It's a bit late to back out now, kitten." 

She shook her head. "That's not what I meant, I just don't want to be a bother."

Remus tucked a curl behind her ear and furrowed his brows. "You're never a bother, Hermione. Honestly, who could have made you think that?" Her throat went dry and she found herself unable to look away from his pretty hazel eyes. The rest of the group went silent and when she finally tore her gaze away she found Lily sending her a look that distinctly said 'Aw!' She stuffed half a pumpkin pasty in her mouth. 

"Anyway," Sirius said irritably, "it's all arranged. So you can't apparate back to school no matter how much we annoy you." 

And annoy her they did. The boys grew increasingly loud and chaotic until James, Lily, and Remus had to depart for prefect duties. Hermione slumped in relief at the sudden din in volume and the compartment door closed. 

"I'm going to go find Mary." Marlene sighed, getting to her feet and leaving too. 

Peter glanced between her and Sirius and seemed to make some sort of internal decision before muttering an excuse and leaving. As soon as the compartment door closed Sirius shifted from his bench to hers and stretched his long legs across the small space to rest his feet atop the other seat. He crossed his ankles, feet clad in heavy motorcycle boots, and crossed his arms. "Regretting leaving your sanctuary for us lot?" Sirius grinned, looking down at her. 

"Hogwarts isn't my sanctuary." Hermione muttered, sliding down until she could also stretch her legs across the space. Her heels just about made it so it didn't feel as comfortable as Sirius looked. 

"Short-arse." Sirius laughed, grabbing her legs and laying them across his lap so she could sit up straighter. 

"Sirius-" It felt like this sort of touchy feely behaviour would cause an argument. Either between them, or between Sirius and Remus. She didn't want to cause any arguments. 

"It's fine. Don't be uptight." He muttered and immediately heat flared in her cheeks. This is what she meant! "You and Remus seem cosy." He said, distracting her. 

"We're friends again." Hermione said. 

He nodded and looked at the countryside whizzing past the window. A blur of wintery brown and white. "Good. That's good."

"Are you two?"

He clicked his tongue. "We have a truce."

She rolled her eyes. What good was a truce if they weren't actually getting along. They were meant to be best friends and stupid hormones and drunk decisions had ruined it, and it was all her fault. The train rocked and Hermione's legs slipped. Sirius' palm caught her shins, anchoring them to his lap. Even through her thick wool tights she could feel the heat of his palm. 

"Is it just because of that stupid kiss, or is there other stuff going on?" She asked. Was it really all her fault? 

Sirius' jaw flickered and he shrugged. "It's complicated, kitten."

"Did the fight help?" Hermione asked, watching his expression, half hidden by the angle of his face. 

"It relieved some tension, I guess." Sirius shrugged. "But no, not really." 

"Why-"

"It's not your business, kitten." Sirius reminded her and she shut her mouth with a pop. They stayed in silence until Mary and Marlene came back, bringing with them a game of exploding snap. 

At the station they spilled from the train and retrieved their luggage. Hermione's a small duffle bag she'd borrowed from Lily, looped into the crook of her elbow as she ambled over to where Remus stood, hauling his transfigured suitcase up with one hand. He glanced over at a man and woman standing at the back of the platform. The woman had warm brown skin and long brown hair, a kind face that looked about the platform with unbridled interest. The man was a carbon copy of Remus, except much paler and with thinning dirty blond hair. His parents, she presumed. "Well, I should go." He said unhappily. Hermione didn't know much about his parents because he never talked about them. She knew, from her own time, that Remus blamed his father for Fenrir Greyback's retaliation, resulting in his bite as a young boy. Presumably a teenage Remus didn't have the greatest relationship with his father because of it. 

"Are they your parents?" She asked, pointing to them. He nodded tightly and she grabbed his hand. "Can I meet them?"

He blinked down at her, "Uh, sure. If you want." He led her over and she was pleased to note he didn't drop her hand until they were directly in front of them. "Mum, dad, this is my friend Hermione."

Remus' mum smiled, friendly and welcoming, and extended a hand to shake Hermione's. A muggle perhaps? "Hope Lupin, dear. It's lovely to meet you. It's not often Remus brings us friends to meet." She lingered on the word 'friends' and Hermione supposed they'd spied the hand holding. 

Mr. Lupin looked her over and extended a hand too. "Lyall Lupin. Pleasure." Hermione saw why Remus might not be ecstatic at the prospect of going home. 

"It's lovely to meet you both." Hermione smiled, "I just wanted to introduce myself before you all had to leave."  

"Whereabouts are you from dear?" Hope asked conversationally. "Are your parents here to pick you up? We could give you a lift if you live anywhere along the way to Wales."

"That's an awful lot of places dearest." Lyall muttered. 

"I'm staying with James Potter's family. I uh don't-" She cut herself off. It probably wasn't best to dump a load of orphan trauma on people she barely knew.

Remus swept to her rescue. "Yeah a bunch of them are staying at James'." He smiled, rubbing her back. "I'll see you in a few days." He leaned down and kissed her cheek, sending her a happy pink.

"See you." Hermione smiled back, waving to his parents and bidding them goodbye. She made it back to the others, gathered around Peter who was desperately searching for something in his suitcase. 

"Say goodbye to the boyfriend?" Sirius snarked, earning a smack from Lily. 

"Be nice, Pads." 

"No, it's just nice she's introduced herself to his parents. Very serious." He said, his eyes dark and bitter. She stared up at him and it finally struck her, he was jealous. 

"Well if you want to introduce me to yours, go ahead." Hermione bit out, earning a shocked silence from the group. Even Peter's frantic searching slowed. 

If anyone expected Sirius to be offended, they were sorely disappointed. He snorted and gestured freely across the platform. "Go head. Walburga and Orion make quite the worst company if you're so inclined." She turned and saw a tall couple clad in black, both with long dark hair and stern expressions. Kreacher, hardly looking any younger, stood dutifully at Walburga's feet. Regulus walked up to them, straight backed. There was no hug or even a flicker of warmth in the family's expressions as they reunited. She watched as the family turned to leave and Regulus cast a look over his shoulder, finding Sirius and their group staring at him. His expression darkened and he turned away. She watched Walburga Black look their way too, and the instant the woman's mouth pinched in disgust Hermione heard the echo of her portrait screaming horrid things in her ears. 

"Yeah no thanks." She muttered, unaware she'd spoken out loud until Sirius grinned, wolfish and pleased, and dipped down to press a sloppy kiss to her cheek. 

"That's the spirit, kitten." He spied Walburga watching and it must have been this that spurred him to grasp her chin and plant a smacking kiss on her lips. Hermione jerked away and slapped him. But he didn't seem to mind and glanced once more at his departing family while Hermione wiped her lips of his saliva. His expression morphed into something cruel and satisfied and whatever he'd set out to do, it seemed he'd achieved. 

"You're a fucking prat, Sirius Black." Hermione spat, grabbing her duffle bag and marching to Lily's shocked side. 

She didn't talk to Sirius the entire way home. The Potter's had sent a driver to pick them up and they squeezed into the Potter's magically extended car after Lily waved goodbye and disappeared with her own parents. Peter, as a neighbour, had hitched a ride and so she sat next to him, ignoring Sirius entirely. He shared the last of his sweets with her but she wasn't hungry and instead turned to look out the window. London petered out into the British countryside, whizzing past the window. What the hell was she thinking, going home to Harry's grandparents' house for christmas. She was meant to be making as little waves as possible and she didn't quite think this qualified. Even Dumbledore had pursed his lips in a disapproving manner when she'd rushed to tell him the day before term ended. But there was the Effie of it all. An accomplished healer who could perhaps give her some advice in regards to her future. Plus, Hermione really didn't fancy a christmas alone at school without her boys. 

They pulled up to the house, a large sprawling manner built in the Georgian period, with ample grounds and a large gravel drive complete with a fountain. The water in the fountain was frozen and the grass was dull and hibernating, but still the beauty of the place shone through. She gasped upon spying it, feeling rather like Elizabeth Bennet upon spying Pemberly. 

"Impressive huh?" Peter murmured, looking up at the house hungrily. She nodded and climbed out the car. An elderly couple spilled from the front doors and made their way down the front steps. Immediately they enveloped James and Sirius in a hug, squeezing tight and rocking the boys from side to side. 

"Oh!" Euphemia Potter cried, "It's so good to have my boys back." She drew back, planting a large kiss on each of their cheeks. "Petey!" She reached for Peter, who trotted obediently into her embrace. Once his welcome finished, she turned to Hermione. "You must be Miss Granger. I've heard a lot about you from both of my sons!" 

Hermione smiled because she couldn't help it. The woman was like sunshine. Effie enveloped her in a hug with the same ease as she had done the boys and a lump formed in Hermione's throat. It had been a long time since a mother hugged her. "Please call me Hermione, Mrs. Potter. Thank you for letting me stay here and spend christmas with you all." 

Effie smoothed down her hair, in a manner so similar to Hermione's own mother that tears burned in her eyes. "I wouldn't have it any other way and please call me Effie." She begged her husband over and Hermione almost laughed. His hair was even more unruly than James and Harry's and Hermione got the distinct impression that Monty was how Harry would look at seventy. Another wave of grief washed over her but she pressed forward, shaking his hand with a friendly hello. He was warm and welcoming like his wife, with a mischievous glint to his eye that both James and Harry had inherited. She liked him immensely. 

After Peter had borrowed a broomstick and kicked off across the fields to his house in the nearby village, they entered the manor. It was bright and airy but filled with the clutter of a well loved and lived in home. She looked about with interest as James gave her a tour. Two drawing rooms, a music room, a library (she'd return there later), and the dining room made up the ground floor. A large kitchen existed the floor below, staffed by a few house elves who James warned ruled the Potter house with an iron fist. He took her up the grand double staircase and pointed out his parents' suite, his own room opposite Sirius' and a slew of guest rooms. "You can pick your favourite, but mum thought you'd like this one most." He shrugged, taking her into a large sun filled room with lilac wallpaper and a large fourposter bed. A fire crackled away already in the hearth, bathing the room in warmth and relaxing Hermione instantly. It was lovely and she said as much, dumping her duffle bag on the bed. 

James turned, leaving her to settle in, but stopped halfway out the door. "Yeah?" She prompted, unzipping her bag and beginning to unpack. 

"Uh, at the train station. What Sirius did." He messed his hair up. "He was an idiot but it's his family, you know? They're... I don't know how much you know." James worried his lip and glanced down the hall, as if checking for Sirius. "Look, obviously they don't get on because he's basically my adopted brother at this point. You heard mum and dad, he's their second son and they mean it. I guess what I'm trying to say is please don't think too badly of him for what he pulled."

"He kissed me against my will, James." She pointed out. Anger was still seething quiet and insidious in her bones. 

"I know, I know." James sighed and messed his hair again. "Just, try to not hold it against him, for too long at least." 

She sniffed and crossed her arms. It was rather presumptive of James to try and get her to forget this when Sirius hadn't even attempted to apologise or explain. "If he can show me he understands that what he did was not okay and apologise genuinely, then I can forgive and forget. But he has to mean it James, not just go through the motions to keep the peace." 

James nodded and left. She wasn't sure whether to be warmed by James' brotherly protection of Sirius, or angry at his patronising excusing of Sirius' bad behaviour. Either way, the journey had left her feeling gross and tired so she padded through to the bathroom and took a hot shower. 

Laughter and music filled the air as Hermione descended the stairs half an hour later. Flushed from her shower and dressed in her bell bottoms and a jumper Mary didn't like anymore - a mustard yellow turtleneck that Hermione didn't really like very much either - she found the Potter's and Sirius in the drawing room that overlooked the sprawling formal gardens. It was a sunny room, even in the dim light of evening. Butter yellow with white accents, it drew a person in, promising good conversation and relaxing afternoons. She thought it would probably shine best in summer, with the glass paned double doors that opened out to the terrace open and a floral scent breezing in on hot wind. 

"Ah! There you are." Effie beamed, patting the seat beside her and pouring Hermione a glass of mulled wine. She took it gratefully and hummed at the warm spice. "Settling in okay?"

"Yes, thank you. It's lovely here, I feel like I'm in an Austen novel." She laughed and to her delight Effie and Monty laughed too. 

"Oh yes, we get that a lot from our muggle friends." Monty chuckled, plucking a bottle of firewhiskey from Sirius' hands with an admonishing look. 

"Oh, I didn't know-" Hermione bit her lip. Was it rude to presume magical couples like the Potter's, who were pureblood in everything but the Sacred Twenty Eight's opinion, wouldn't consort with muggles. 

Effie patted her knee kindly, "Oh yes, there's a muggle village not far from here and the Potter's have always interacted with the villagers."

"A proud tradition." Monty toasted. 

"James tells us you have muggle heritage, dear. We are so sorry to hear of your loss." The comment caught Hermione off guard and she saw James and Sirius stiffen. Probably used to her fleeing in a panicked run at the mere mention of her parents. Not to mention the disaster that had been the last time that had happened. 

"Thank you." She said quietly, staring into her mulled wine. Bits of spice swam amongst two half slices of orange, bright against the burgundy liquid. It was her first christmas without her parents, though if she'd stayed in her timeline it would have passed months ago. She cleared her throat and met their sympathetic faces, "I am a-" Muggleborn. Except not according to her backstory. "Halfblood." She finished flatly. "Uh, my father was a muggle. A dentist." At least that she could say. 

"Ah! The Skinners in the village are dentists. Looks positively frightening!" Monty chuckled, immediately putting her at ease. 

She laughed, "Yes, it's rather medieval to look at - all the tools. My father was very strict on sweets too so when I first went to school I made myself quite sick with them." 

She was aware of Sirius and James leaning forward with interest. This was the most she'd ever shared of her parents in all the months they'd known her. 

"Yes, I remember this one gorging himself on sweets in first year." Effie smiled in a disapproving but ultimately fond way at James, who grinned sheepishly. 

"How are we to learn to moderate if we don't learn the consequences first!" James laughed, reaching forward to a large gold bowl filled with sweets and popping a bonbon in his mouth. 

"Too right, my boy!" Monty chortled, clapping James on the back. 

When dinner was called by a house elf in a smart blue dress with a little apron, they carried on through to the dining room. It was an easy affair. Warm and welcoming with bland food to settle the stomachs of teenagers who had over indulged over a day of travel. She sat beside Effie, as far away from Sirius as she could get, and listened utterly rapt to Effie's stories from working as a Healer for six decades. When she confessed she wanted to become a healer herself, and that Madame Pomphrey had offered her an intern role in the hospital wing, Effie was all congratulations and support. She promised to share her medical journals with Hermione and spend some time over the holidays helping her come to grips with magical first aid. They talked so much that no one seemed to notice or care that she'd hardly eaten a thing.

After dinner the Potter's and Sirius retired to the drawing room once more but Hermione begged off, citing her near exhaustion. She climbed the stairs and washed and changed ready for bed. She was just sliding back the plush covers when a knock sounded. "Come in." The door creaked open and Sirius' pale handsome face peeked through. "Oh."

"Hi." He said, slipping inside and closing the door with a quiet click. "I uh, look, I know you're mad at me."

"Yes." She crossed her arms. 

"I shouldn't have kissed you." He said.

"Correct."

"I'm sorry." She said nothing, just waiting. Eventually he grew so uncomfortable he shifted from foot to foot, raking a hand through his shoulder length black hair. "I'll uh, go then." 

"Sirius." Hermione sighed and rounded the bed to stand before him. He glanced down at her, serious and drawn in his expression. "You can't kiss people against their consent. You know I don't want to kiss you-"

"Yes! I know." He bit out, stepping back and crossing his arms. "Believe me, I bloody get it. The only bloody witch in the whole school who doesn't want to kiss me. Apart from Lily and Marlene, but they hardly count."

"Count?" Hermione laughed mirthlessly, exasperated. 

"Well Lily is James' and Marlene prefers pussy." 

Oh wow. Hermione stumbled back. It was unbelievable that Sirius would just out one of his closest friends like that. "I cannot believe you." Not to mention regarding Lily as James' property and citing those reasons as the sole qualifying reasons for a witch to be off limits. "You're unbelievable!" 

"It's true-"

"Shut up!" Hermione snapped. Suddenly every bit of anger she'd felt since being flung back into the past bubbled under her skin, simmering up her veins and itching to explode. "You know, sometimes I think you grow as a person, Sirius. That you recognise the women in your life as people not as play things. Lily is not James', she's her own person who has chosen to be in a relationship you absolute arsehole! Marlene should have told me about her sexuality herself! You had no right to divulge that!" Sirius opened his mouth to argue and she cut him off, too angry, "No! I'm talking! You treat people as if their feelings are expendable! Sometimes I think you only care about yourself and James and today has proven that to me! I accept your apology, Sirius, but you are not forgiven. Kissing me like that was horrible, I saw the look on your face! You were being vindictive to your family and using me as a pawn to do it. Probably because of my blood? Yes?" He snapped his mouth closed, a hard line to his jaw. "It's unacceptable Sirius. I'd expect better from you but you've been pretty consistent in proving yourself to be an entitled, elitist, chauvinistic arsehole who will use his friends in order to satisfy himself!"

He ground his jaw and flexed his fists. "That is what you think of me?" He asked in a dangerously low voice. She held firm, giving him nothing to indicate she regretted her words. Was he a product of his upbringing and time, perhaps. But Hermione didn't care. James had been like Sirius, according to Lily, but he'd grown and changed. People were capable of change if they wished to be better than their past. But Sirius' rebellion seemed to be born of spite and hatred, not disgust and shame. "No wonder you hate to kiss me." He hissed, turning for the door and twisting the doorknob. "I'm surprised you're even friends with me." 

He left, slamming the door behind him so hard the walls rattled and Hermione jumped. That didn't feel fair either. Of course she liked being his friend, she loved being his friend. There were parts of Sirius that Hermione adored, loved even. But right now, angry as she was, she couldn't remember them. She climbed into bed, wiping furious tears from her cheeks and dousing the lights. She tried to sleep, but like most nights, didn't fall asleep until well after everyone else had gone to bed. 

The next morning she woke bright and early and utterly exhausted. Dressing in a simple shift dress and warm wool tights, she padded downstairs to find Effie and the elves bustling about the dining room. "Ah, Hermione! Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you." Hermione lied. "Can I help?"

Effie glanced at her, surprised and chuckled. "Gosh, I forget how helpful girls are. My fault I suppose, raising my boy to act like a boy." She winked and gestured for Hermione to follow. She helped the elves prepare breakfast alongside Effie, chatting amiably the entire time. When they returned to the dining room, goods in tow, the boys and Monty were already sat, ready to be served. She avoided Sirius' gaze and sat beside James. If anyone else noticed the frosty looks between the pair, they didn't say, and conversation filled the air. 

James managed to rope Sirius and Monty into a game of pick up quidditch when Peter arrived, and so Hermione and Effie sequestered themselves into the warmth of the library. A pile of journals lay strewn across the shiny mahogany table and Hermione practically salivated. "These are my personal journals, detailing cases, research, the highs and lows of medical care." Effie chuffed softly. She ran an affectionate hand over the leather bound volumes. "My life's work, really."

"Thank you, Effie. I really do appreciate it." Hermione said.

They settled in, and Effie guided Hermione through the journals, adding personal anecdotes and her own experiences of becoming a healer. "It was different in those times of course. I was a witch and I'd only just qualified as a healer, not a medi-witch mind you, when I married Monty. There was a big uproar. Married witches didn't work. We were made to raise babies and make homes. But I had a calling, no higher or lower than a mother and housewife's, but important all the same. Monty was building Sleak-Eazey's into an international company so children weren't important to us when we were young. I worked my way up St. Mungo's, going from a general Healer to more specialised practices. Blood maledictions have always fascinated me. I worked my arse off, excuse my french, and became head healer at fifty. The first witch to ever hold the title." She smiled proudly, her warm brown skin crinkled around her eyes. "Of course by then we'd both achieved our goals, lucky as we are, and we could focus on a new dream. James. It wasn't easy, we failed to get pregnant for many years and had almost lost hope when suddenly I fell pregnant and our beautiful baby boy came along. I worked harder than anyone else in order to be a working mother in a society that abhorred them. I like to think it taught James something valuable and will serve his future wife well, when the time comes, should she like to work." Hermione thought of Lily and her ambitions. 

"I'm sure it will." She agreed with a knowing smile. 

"Don't tell James and Lily, I don't want to jinx a relationship in those so young, but I hope Lily will become my daughter." Effie whispered, her kind eyes sparkling. She raised her finger to her lips and winked. 

"Mum's the word." Hermione promised. 

As the sun began to dip, blue and frosty under the horizon, the boys and Monty returned inside flushed cheeked and red nosed. Immediately they descended upon the kitchens, pestering the elves for snacks while Monty went for a lie down. Armed with all sorts of delicious food that was likely to ruin their dinner, they traipsed mud into the house and found Hermione and Effie in the library. Immediately Effie scolded her boys for the mess and the snacking but it was nothing like her own mother would have scolded. Jean Granger would have made Hermione clean up her mess, by hand, and return everything to the kitchen. Instead Effie scolded and smiled and kissed James and Sirius on the cheek before going to check on dinner with the elves. Hermione watched, a little bewildered. Molly Weasley wouldn't have done that either, and it was strange for her to witness such a different parenting style. It also explained a lot about James. 

The tall, muscled boy with warm brown skin and a smile like sunshine dropped down into the seat beside her, spilling his food onto the table and narrowly missing Hermione's work. She snatched it back just in time and shot him a dark look. Opposite, Peter took a seat and cast an inquisitive eye over the journals before promptly losing interest and focusing on his food. Sirius hung back, inspecting an antique globe and glowering in the general direction of his feet. With an easy grin, one Hermione had never seen Harry achieve outside of quidditch or Ginny, James offered her a scotch egg. 

"No thanks." Hermione smiled. She began to pack away her notes and carefully noted her place in Effie's journals. It was unlikely now that the boys were here that she would get any work done, besides it was christmas. Hermione deserved a holiday too. 

"She doesn't fucking eat, remember." Sirius snarked from the shadows and she whipped round to glare at him.

"Fuck you, Black."

"Piss off, Granger."

"Oh, Granger now is it, what happened to kitten?" Hermione seethed, gripping her quill so hard it bit into her palm. 

James glanced between the two of them, scotch egg bulging his cheeks. "Woah, what's going on?"

Hermione sniffed and gathered her things. She needed a run. "Nothing. See you at dinner." Not bothering to wait for their approval or questions she marched from the room. 

The grounds of Potter Manor were extensive. Rolling hills that looked to have once bloomed cereals or long grass welcomed Hermione's pounding feet. Running along the edges, she looked out over the frozen vista. Christmas was in just a few days and she had somehow managed to make things with Sirius even worse. Not that it had been her fault. If he just treated her with basic respect, they wouldn't be in this mess. But had she been unfair? She didn't want him to think she hated him, because she didn't. He was difficult and egotistical but he was also hilarious and wonderful and loving. She loved him as a friend, she knew this in her soul. In her bones. The same way she loved Ron. Hermione's throat went dry and she stumbled to a stop, coughing violently to clear the dry tickle lodged there. She took a deep breath and placed her hands on her hips, looking out over the rolling hills. A small village could be seen, nestled amongst the hills and bisecting a lazy moving river. The village, Hermione presumed. What was she doing? She shouldn't be here, getting close to Harry's grandparents, having spats with Sirius because they cared for one another so much that they couldn't help but fight. She should be sequestered alone at Hogwarts, perhaps using the Room of Requirement for personal duelling practice. Or trying to help Dumbledore with the war effort, for she knew he was making moves. Just like when the war had ramped up in her own time, and Dumbledore had hardly been at the school anymore, the same thing was happening here. Riddle was gathering forces and the war was looming. She should be preparing for her role in it, because she must have one. She'd rather die than stand by. It had been during her afternoon with Effie that she decided her future. Yes, St. Mungo's sounded wonderful and perhaps after Voldemort's downfall - after James and Lily were gone - Hermione will settle there and live her life as a healer. But for the Order, Hermione would be a healer. It made the most sense. She couldn't go out and fight, but she could train others like in the DA and then patch them up when they returned home. That would be her purpose, that was how she could help. It wasn't a life she would have chosen, but it was the one she must live. Even if just to stay sane. 

By the time Christmas Eve had arrived Hermione and Sirius were no longer acknowledging the other's existence. So much so, even scatter brained and cheerful Monty Potter had noticed. He glanced between the two of them at the breakfast table, worrying his lip and letting his egg yolk spill onto the table cloth. When the plates were cleared away James announced that he was going to visit Lily for the day. Sirius looked up with a look that could only be described as betrayal. 

"What?! But-" He pressed his lips shut tight. 

"I miss Lily and her parents are having a Christmas Eve party. She wants me there so her sister doesn't drive her crazy." He laughed, standing and smoothing out his jeans. It explained why he was dressed as a muggle today. Though James usually lived in quidditch kit or some variation thereof, he usually liked to dress in a blend of wizarding and muggle clothing. But today he was all muggle in a pair of blue jeans, a red cable knit jumper, and a pair of red converse. He ruffed up his messy hair and adjusted his glasses with a happy smile. "She wanted to invite you all too but apparently her sister made a big fuss so only I made the cut, sorry." Hermione smiled, because he genuinely did look sorry for this fact. 

"Say hi to Lils for me." She asked, scooting away from the table and turning for the library. James promised that he would and a loud CRACK sounded five minutes later signalling his departure. 

Holed up in the library, Hermione settled herself between Effie's journals, medical textbooks, her own notes, and a few floating candles. She'd long abandoned the library table when it proved to hurt her back too much and found a low leather sofa tucked away from sight. It was there that Monty found her. "Ah, Hermione, you look very content." He chuckled, sliding his hands into his trouser pockets. 

"I am!" Hermione beamed, wiggling her toes with joy. "If there is a heaven, I imagine it looks like this." 

Monty laughed, a loud booming thing that reverberated in Hermione's chest. For a moment, she wondered how Harry would have turned out if he'd grown up with Monty for a grandfather. A lot more like James, she'd bet. "I'm glad to hear it." He furrowed his brows for half a second, as if contemplating his next words, then helped himself to a seat. "I'd like to talk to you about Sirius."

Oh. "Alright." Hermione said carefully, marking her place and setting her work on the floor. She sat up and turned to him. 

"I don't know the details, James refuses to tattle on Sirius, even when he perhaps should. But I know my son, Sirius can be... reckless in his actions." An understatement, Hermione thought. "I also know that whatever happened between the two of you is weighing heavily on his mind. Would you be open to talking to him, before Christmas?" 

"So today." Hermione clarified with some amusement. Monty chuckled and nodded. She took a deep breath. The truth was she missed him and she hated fighting with him. It felt too much like her fight with Ron in third year. It was cruel and nasty and did little to resolve the situation. "Alright, I don't want to fight with him really."

Monty looked pleased. "Excellent, SIRIUS!" He yelled and Hermione's eyes widened. He meant now?! "No time like the present." Monty winked and a few minutes later Sirius wandered in looking wary. When he spied her he turned to leave. "Sirius stay!" Monty commanded and like the dog he was, Sirius stood still and huffed. "Now, I don't know what happened between you two but I can imagine there are some apologies that need to be given and some feelings that need to be spoken. You are both adults so I shan't supervise. But if I hear a single curse or hex I will not hesitate to call Effie down to deal with you both!" He said it so seriously Hermione believed that he thought it a threat. But raised by a much stricter woman, and having been the recipient of actual frightening experiences, Effie wasn't really that big of a bargaining chip. The bemused look on Sirius' face told her he felt the same way. Still, they did not argue and even placed both of their wands atop Hermione's notes as a show of trust to Monty. When Monty walked away, the room grew silent and cold. 

Sirius crossed his arms and glowered at his shoes, waiting her out. Well fine, Hermione could be the bigger person. 

"I'm not sorry for what I said." She said and his jaw bunched. "But I am sorry I gave you the impression that I wouldn't want to be your friend. Because I do. I love you Sirius."

He sniffed and crossed his arms tighter, almost hugging himself. "Even if I'm a worthless piece of shit?"

"I never said that!" Hermione scowled, getting to her feet. "Don't do that! Don't put words in my mouth. I think the world of you but you're not perfect Sirius! Far from it! No one is. I mean look at me!" A mirthless laugh fell from her lips and she brushed her unruly curls back. 

To her surprise Sirius scoffed, "You? You're amazing, Hermione. You're a bloody genius and everyone knows it. You're beautiful too but you don't use it like- well like me. To use other people. Sometimes I think you don't even notice how beautiful you are, you just pine over Moony and-" He cut himself off with a shake of his head. "Anyway, you're kind and just and everyone thinks the world of you. So to hear that you hate me-"

She had to stop him there, "I don't hate you. I could never hate you, Sirius." She rushed forward and grabbed his hand, tugging until he loosened his arms and let them fall by his sides. "I stand by what I said because I think it's true and I'm sorry that's hard to hear. But I won't take it back just to soothe your feelings. You hurt me too and you'll continue to hurt people unless you change. And I know you, Sirius, I know you love fiercely. I know you don't think you deserve that love back." He closed his eyes but his fingers gripped hers tighter. "Probably because of your parents and whatever fucked up version of parenting they attempted on you." She muttered under her breath. "But I think the world of you, Sirius. I think you're wonderful and I love being your friend."

He didn't open his eyes or speak for several long moments. Just taking controlled rounds of breath in and out through his nose. Finally he opened his eyes and swiped his thumb across the back of her hand. "Just a friend though, right?" 

She faltered. She couldn't get involved with anyone and if she did she'd want it to be Remus. Remus was a warm cup of tea curled by the fire, the scent of rain fresh from a summer breeze. Sirius was firewhiskey and chaos. The smell of woodsmoke and a summer's lightening storm. A beautiful and terrifying thing that could burn you up in an instant, should he choose to. But he was destined for a life without love, she knew, just like her. Twelve years in Azkaban, a few years in hiding and then an untimely death. "I-" Words failed her. He was beautiful. Tall with aristocratic features, a lithely muscled body and long dark hair that contrasted so beautifully with his moonlit skin. 

"Right, kitten?" He walked forward, crowding her. There it was, spice and smoke and leather. Filling her senses and making her head dizzy. 

"Right." She rasped and stared into his broad chest, refusing to meet his eyes. Sirius brought his fingers under her chin and gently tilted her head up. She closed her eyes and stepped away. She still couldn't. Even if there wasn't Remus, she still shouldn't. Hermione was not of this time and she didn't know if he'd had a girlfriend before Azkaban. 

Only when he stepped away did she open her eyes. He looked satisfied and smug. Hermione stared at him hard, feeling the drop in her stomach like she'd been dropped from a great height. "See you at dinner, kitten." Sirius smirked, turning on his heel and sauntering away. 

"God-fucking-damnit." Hermione whispered. 

The annual christmas eve party at Potter Manor saw an influx of locals from the village descend upon the place. Hermione stood with a polite smile and greeted everyone with Sirius, directing them through to the main reception room for drinks and nibbles. It was apparently a long standing tradition dating back to the time the house had been built and Effie and Monty loved to honour it. They had many life long friendships with the villagers and welcomed everyone to their home with the warmth and familiarity they'd welcomed Hermione with. Sirius stood at her side, far too close and with a smug little smile that would not leave his face. 

"Stop it." Hermione hissed under her breath between greeting duties. 

"Stop what?"

"Looking like that." She grumbled before plastering on a broad smile and shaking the hand of an elderly lady and her middle aged son. "Welcome! Merry Christmas." 

Sirius waited until the guests had gone through before dipping his lips to her ear and whispering, "I can't help the way I look, kitten, no more than you can."

She rolled her eyes and stepped away. Sirius merely chuckled and greeted the next guests with the charming formality of a pureblood raised for a life of galas and charity events. When dealt with, he crowded back in whispering in her ear low and thready, "Besides, if you didn't want me to flirt you shouldn't have worn that." 

She scoffed and looked at her reflection in the large hallway mirror. She was dressed in a period typical maroon floaty chiffon dress that went down to her ankles. It's only sensuality came from the cinched waist and keyhole neckline. "Please, that line only works if I actually dress to impress, Sirius."  

"You dressed to impress me?" He smirked. Hot breath caressing her curls and neck. It smelt of spice and firewhiskey, though she'd not seen him drink any yet. 

"No." She replied hotly and glaring at him. "Sirius, your Padfoot is coming out. Personal space, dog." She flipped her hands at him until he backed away. All amusement like this was a game. 

"Ah, I knew you knew about that." He laughed. A brief interlude to welcome the last dregs of guests and then the double doors closed and they turned towards the party. 

"Really?" She asked quietly. She'd tried so hard to not let on her knowledge. 

"You're a terrible liar, kitten. You go all shifty and red and then leave before anyone can suspect you, but it's always been too late."

"Does Remus know I know?" She asked carefully. 

"Do you?" Sirius asked, stopping them before the doors. The party was well underway and the din of conversation, laughter, and music spilled through the ajar door. "Know?" 

Hermione nodded. "I don't want to pressure him." She admitted. 

Sirius swore and raked a hand through his hair. "Yeah, that's... Remus is a tricky one." He summed up flatly. She felt he could have more advice to give about this, but perhaps pessimistically she wondered if he was holding back. Sabotaging. "C'mon kitten, let's get drunk." 

He grabbed her hand and they weaved through the guests to the drinks bar, where, he poured her a large glass of wine and himself a whiskey. He then grabbed her hand once more and they went back into the fray. 

She kept close to Sirius. Not because parties made her nervous but because he was just so good at being a party guest. He regaled charming stories with humour and humorous stories with charm. Keeping every guest enthralled and made to feel at the centre of his world. Even if just for a few moments. She watched fascinated and soon was on her second glass of wine, giggling away. A hand tapped her shoulder and she turned finding Peter pink cheeked and a little tipsy. 

"There you guys are! I've been looking for you for ages."

She must have been drunk because she drew Peter into a tight hug and exclaimed how good it was to see him. She wasn't even lying, she'd missed the little rat. 

"Where are your parents, I want to meet them." She insisted. Sirius raised a brow and followed them when Peter took her to meet Mr. and Mrs. Pettigrew. A couple stood talking to the local vicar and his wife. Mr. Pettigrew was a short bald man with barely there blond eyebrows and a rotund belly. His wife was pale and slim but watery of expression and shook like a leaf. 

"Mum, dad, this is Hermione. The new girl." He clarified and his parents turned to her polite and quiet. She conversed with them for a short while, answering their questions. "Yes, I have settled in well." "Absolutely, James and everyone have been so very welcoming." "Yes, Peter is quite the jokester." Eventually the shy couple ran out of small talk and turned away, leaving her with Peter who looked very happy. 

"Besides James you're the first friend of mine that wanted to meet my parents." He said, surprised. Hermione shrugged and looped her arm through his. 

"I liked them. Let's find Sirius." She suggested and they headed to the bar. 

Predictably, he was there, pouring himself another whiskey and flirting with a middle aged woman. 

"When's Prongs coming back?" Peter asked, stealing Sirius' drink and downing half before exploding with spluttering coughs. Hermione patted his back firmly until he stopped while Sirius merely plucked his glass back and finished it. 

"Dunno, I hope he brings Lils though." 

"Is Remus coming?" Hermione asked hopefully.

Sirius clicked his tongue and gave a rueful shake of his head. "No, kitten. Not til after christmas. Hope and Lyall don't like to let him out of their sight for the first few days."

She wanted to ask why but figured the topic of Remus was so shaky between them that she should stay quiet. Just then a roar of joy erupted from the front of the room and she rose to her tiptoes, trying to see the commotion. 

"Ah, Prongs is back." Sirius grinned, disappearing into the fray. 

Trying to keep up through the curious and jostling bodies of the crowd, Hermione and Peter eventually found the Potter's and Sirius welcoming a flush-faced James and Lily home. Hermione surged forward, immediately wrapping Lily in a hug. The girl laughed and tightened her arms around her. 

"Did you miss me?" She joked.

"So much!" Hermione drew back seriously and kissed Lily on both cheeks. "I have so much to tell you!" 

After James and Lily made the rounds, socialising with the locals who considered James as a son of the village - not just the Potter's, for they had watched him grow up - the group stole three bottles of wine and a bottle of whiskey between them and stole away. They laughed and ran through the dark empty halls of the manor, following James and Sirius up the stairs and into the attic rooms. James shoved his wine bottle into Peter's hand and extracted his wand. Carefully he unlocked a little trick panel in the wall and pushed it away. Lighting up his wand, he winked over his shoulder to the group. 

"Follow me." 

They did, as they always would, and crawled through a disgustingly dirty space thick with dust and grime. "Was that a spider?!" Peter squeaked, immediately turning into a rat. 

Lily rolled her eyes and glanced at Hermione, "I'm so glad everyone knows you know now. These idiots can be idiotic to their fullest extent."

"In all our glory." Sirius grinned from behind them. Hermione looked over her shoulder to find Sirius' grey eyes firmly planted on her arse. She kicked back suddenly, hitting the crook of his elbow so that his arms faltered and he went crashing to the floor. He heaved himself up, looking very pleased. "Careful, kitten." 

She rolled her eyes and crawled forward, heaving herself to her feet with Lily's help. They stood on the roof of Potter Manor. Slate grey and iced over in the bright cloudless night sky. James crept forward and led them to a flat part of the roof, overlooking the hills and village for miles around. 

"This is amazing." Hermione breathed, keeping a tight hold on Lily's hand. She was still scared of heights after all. 

"Isn't it? James kissed me up here for the first time last summer." She whispered back and Hermione almost melted at the romance of it. 

They sat on a conjured blanket and drank from their pilfered bottles. Hermione leaned back, feeling very warm and buzzy. Her brain felt sluggish and tired, but oh so happy. Resting her temple on Sirius' shoulder, she closed her eyes and let out a happy hum. "I love you guys."

"Oh I knew she'd be a lovey dovey drunk." James laughed. 

"I thought she'd be a fighting drunk." Peter pouted.

"No she's a fighting sober." Lily said dryly. 

"Shut up all of you." Hermione grumbled, furrowing her brows. They were ruining her buzz. "I really do love you guys. I don't know what I would have done without you all."

"Probably run to America." Peter muttered, swigging from his wine. 

Hermione could feel soft puffs of air onto her hair, gently skating it across her face. She reached to move it when a few cold fingertips beat her to it. She opened her eyes to find Sirius' bearing down on her, soft and silver as he tucked a curl behind her ear. 

She sat up and took a drink. 

A while later, as they watched the party guests begin their long walk home, little human shaped ants disappearing down the long gravel drive, Hermione and Lily cuddled together under a conjured blanket and several warming charms. They watched the boys be idiots, taking turns to see which animagus form could balance best on a slanting roof. The deer was losing. 

"Love really is blind." Lily sighed, wincing as Prongs teetered on his hooves and quickly transformed back into James, who caught himself with his hands and legged it back to the top. 

"And dumb." Hermione agreed, thinking of Remus. Her blood went cold. No, she didn't love Remus. They weren't together, there was no way she could love him. Plus she'd been... doing whatever it was she'd been doing with Sirius all day. "Love is dumb." Hermione summed up bitterly. 

Lily raised a brow at her but said nothing. 

"How was the party at your family's?" Hermione asked. 

The other girl sighed and leaned her temple against Hermione's. "Excruciating. Vernon Dursley might just be the most vile, pontificating, man I've ever met." Having met Vernon Dursley once at the train station, Hermione knew this to be true and hummed sympathetically. 

"That's your sister's boyfriend, right?"

"Fiance." Lily grimaced. "He proposed tonight in the middle of the party. Pet almost screamed the house down she was so delighted."

"Well I suppose that's nice." Hermione tried, but Lily caught her eye and they burst into laughter. "Well from your stories about Petunia, maybe they deserve each other?"

Lily grumbled and shrugged. "It's complicated. We used to be really close, before we found out I was a witch."

"It must be so hard. I don't have siblings, really." Hermione mumbled, thinking of Harry. Alone and friendless. Out on the run, wanted for dead, and with a huge responsibility on his shoulders. Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked quickly, trying to will them away.

"Sometimes," Lily whispered, "I wish I didn't either." She paused and looked at Hermione. "That's terrible isn't it?"

Hermione shrugged. She'd wished to leave Harry and in a way she had. They'd left each other. "I used to wish my parents were other people when they wouldn't let me do what I wanted. Or when they were hard on me about my studies. Just because I wished it didn't mean I wanted it." 

Lily blinked, confused, before settling her temple back on Hermione's. They sat there, heads together, watching Peter skitter skilfully across the slanted roof tiles. Padfoot barked and chased after him, paws scrabbling for purchase. 

"What's up with you and Sirius?" Lily asked.

"Fuck knows." Hermione answered. She drained the remainder of wine and reached for Sirius' discarded whiskey bottle. There was still some left. Good. She unscrewed the cap, briefly wondering when she'd turned into such a potty mouth. Ron would hardly recognise her. "We had a big fight, I said some awful things because he'd done some awful things. We made up today and he took it to mean he has a shot with me. He's been flirting ever since."

"Does he?" Lily asked. "Have a shot?"

Hermione didn't answer because she didn't know. She liked Remus so much, but he was destined for a life with Tonks. There was barriers between them that couldn't be surmounted. Sirius still felt off limits but like a cheat. She knew he'd never take a wife or have a family. She knew he'd spend twelve years in prison, framed by the rat he frolicked with on the roof. "I like Remus." Hermione said. 

"That wasn't a no." 

"Well, I guess it's complicated then. Maybe I'll just swear off both of them. Focus on my studies." Hermione muttered, taking another swig of whiskey and grimacing. It really did taste awful. Lily stole the bottle and took a drink, not faring off better from her expression. 

"What's the point in that, Hermione?" Lily said softly. "They both like you, you like Remus a lot. I think choose and date that boy. Sirius will be okay. He'll find a witch to distract him soon enough."

But she couldn't date Remus. It was all too complicated and her head hurt. Hermione lay back on the blanket and dragged Lily down with her until they stared up at the stars. The shouts of glee from the boys filled the night air. "Everyone but Remus knows I know now." She admitted. "But I don't know how to bring it up that I know."

Lily hummed sympathetically and passed the bottle back. "Well, the boys worked it out in second year and confronted him about it. That was quite messy by all accounts. Remus doesn't do well with confrontation." Hermione snorted, that at least she knew. "I worked it out, well fourth year because I'm not an idiot, but I told him I knew in sixth. I couldn't keep up the charade anymore. I love him too much." That Hermione could understand. 

"How did it go?"

"Well," Lily sighed, "he got very quiet and awkward. Stammered a lot and looked deathly afraid I was going to tell him that I couldn't be his friend anymore. Thinking back, I should have led with the fact that I love him no matter what." She clicked her tongue, "His dad has done a real number on him."

Hermione nodded and took a drink. Warmth pooled low in her veins and dragged her down into the hard tiles, anchoring her to the roof. "I'll lead with that then." Hermione decided. "Because I really don't care. I just want him to be okay." 

Lily threaded her arm through Hermione's and squeezed. "I'm really glad you're here, Hermione." 

Turning her cheek, Hermione leaned forward and pecked Lily's. "Me too, Lils." Surprisingly, she meant it.

Suddenly there was three whooshes of magic and the boys stumbled over to them. "It's midnight!" Peter grinned, panting. 

"It's christmas!" James beamed, tugging Lily to her feet and snogging her loudly. 

"Ugh!" Peter grimaced and shoved them, ducking when James shot out a hand to hit him, his lips never leaving Lily's. 

Hermione laughed and got to her feet, tugging Peter and then Sirius to her in a hug. "Merry Christmas guys."

"Merry Christmas, Hermione." They echoed, hugging her back. Peter drew away first, transforming into a rat and scampering across the tiles but Sirius stayed. His arms encircling her with a searing heat. His escapades had left him hot and sweaty, with steam rising off his body into the icy air. 

He cupped her cheek and pressed his lips very sweetly to her other. "Merry Christmas, kitten."

She swallowed thickly and smiled at him, suddenly feeling very shy and conflicted. He turned before she could do anything drastic like kiss him back or reject him. The truth was, she didn't know which she would have picked either. 

Christmas day was a lazy affair. Lily spent the night in Hermione's room, snoring away and spread eagle on the large bed. But she took up so much room Hermione had only had a sliver to sleep on and no covers. When they awoke, heads pounding and bleary eyed, Lily dressed and showered quickly before thanking Mr. and Mrs. Potter, snogging James goodbye, and apparating home. Peter left not soon after, wobbling on his broom all the way home. 

"She's going to get so much shit from Petunia for staying here all night." James groaned at the breakfast table.

"She stayed in Hermione's room, right son?" Monty arched a bushy brow and James grumbled and nodded, very grumpy over the fact. 

Everyone struggled through breakfast, except Effie and Monty who took great delight in the hungover states of their teenage wards. After breakfast they opened presents under the great fir tree in the parlour. Without much to her name, Hermione had nipped out before term ended to buy James sweets, Sirius a bottle of firewhiskey, and had speedily knit her hosts matching gloves and scarves. To her delight, Effie and Monty loved them and wore them there and then, struggling to open the remainder of their presents through the thick knit and making everyone laugh. Though she'd not been expecting gifts Hermione received more than she thought she deserved. The Potter's had gifted her half a wardrobe; jeans, trousers, dresses, blouses, jumpers, boots, coats, and accessories. Hermione shook her head, overcome.

"It's too much! I can't possibly accept!" 

Effie patted her hand kindly, "Nonsense, Hermione. I always wanted a daughter to shop for, so indulge an old woman and let me treat you." Hermione did cry, because of course she did, and Effie merely pulled her into a warm motherly hug until the quiet tears subsided. The happy full feeling of being cared about didn't fade from her chest though. That evening she ate a full meal for the first time since Madame Pomphrey's supervision. If anyone noticed, they didn't comment. 

Chapter Text

It was two days before Hermione finally saw Remus. Lily returned to the manor, much to everyone's delight, as well as Peter. The boys, delighted to be reunited after a gruelling forty eight hour period, disappeared into the bowels of the manor to cause mayhem. Leaving Hermione and Lily to inspect Hermione's new wardrobe. 

Lily sat on Hermione's bed, cooing over her the assortment of fashion. "Wow! Effie must really like you."

"Effie is kindness incarnate." Hermione said genuinely. She held up a new denim pinafore dress for Lily's approval. 

"Ooh, yes, with the brown turtleneck." She supplied, drawing Hermione's new penny coat to herself to lay it over her lap like a rug. 

"They've been so kind. It's been really lovely." Hermione said quietly.

"But it makes you miss your own family?" Lily guessed. Hermione nodded and turned away to blink back tears. She would not cry. She'd done enough crying. 

Hermione changed and had just zipped up the back when Sirius, James and Peter barged in unannounced. 

Sirius whistled, "Looking good, kitten."

She rolled her eyes and perused her new bits of jewellery. Nothing fancy, just a couple pairs of earrings from the local shops in town and a necklace or two. She chose a pair of large gold hoops and threaded them through each earlobe. Fluffing her curly hair, Hermione stepped back and smiled. She looked like herself now. For months this fashion had felt like a costume but now, looking in the mirror, she finally felt like herself. 

"We're going to Moony's." James announced, crawling onto Hermione's bed and tackling Lily into a hug. Peppering kisses along her face, he missed Sirius and Hermione's reaction. 

"We are? When?" Hermione asked, elated. Though a little insidious feeling of guilt tugged at her navel. 

"Yeah, when?" Sirius asked flatly. 

"Now. If Hermione's finished with her fashion show." Peter grinned, holding up Hermione's new mini dress and holding it to himself. She stuck her tongue out and snatched it back before bewitching everything to file away neatly in the wardrobe. 

"Let's go." She said happily, grabbing her coat and following everyone out the room and down the stairs.

After James had shouted to his parents that they were off to visit Remus, they all walked outside to the gravel driveway. James reached for Peter's arm, for he still hadn't passed his apparation test, and they disappeared with a crack. Sirius looked as if he were going to side along her when Lily jumped in and seized her hand. "See you there." Lily said brightly and turned on her heel.

They squeezed through that familiar suffocating tube and landed in a dull overgrown meadow. Rain drizzled unhappily on them, making Hermione's hair instantly frizz. Perfect, she thought, smoothing it down. Sirius appeared behind them with a loud CRACK and they ambled over to where James and Peter were shoving one another and giggling. The long wet grass made Hermione's shoes and tights damp but she pressed on, following the others. They walked down a hill until a low wooden fence, which had several posts missing, appeared. Beyond it lay an old stone cottage nestled amongst large oak trees and with several flower beds deep in wintery hibernation. Suddenly the front door opened and a familiar lanky figure emerged. Hermione grinned before she could help it, quickening her pace. Remus waved to them all and jogged to the fence. 

The others slowed and Hermione glanced around confused. 

"Sorry, dad has a lot of wards." Remus explained to her, withdrawing his wand. Several long complicated spells later and he stepped back with a smile. "Come in!" 

James and Lily led the way and they all filed in through the garden gate. Immediately James had pulled Remus into a hug, swaying him from side to side and proclaiming how much he'd missed him. "Yeah, yeah," Remus laughed, patting his back awkwardly, "Missed you too, soppy git." Next Lily received a hug, much warmer this time, before Peter clapped Remus' arm and then wandered off in search of Hope Lupin and her legendary pastries. Hermione watched with bated breath as Sirius and Remus exchanged a tense nod and Sirius disappeared into the house. Leaving just Hermione alone. 

"Hi." She smiled, rising onto her toes and flinging her arms around his neck. "Merry Christmas."

He chuffed and hugged her back, arms encircling her lower back and wrapping around until his fingers pressed at the sides of her stomach. She closed her eyes, leaning into his warmth and drinking in his scent. It had been so long since she'd felt his arms around her. Almost a week! "Merry Christmas, Hermione." He drew back, fingers lingering on her waist. "Did you have a good one?"

She nodded, "Effie and Monty are amazing."

He laughed, turning them towards the house and letting his arm bump against hers. "They are."

"Did you?"

A tense little silence ensued and he grimaced slightly before shrugging, "Nothing out the ordinary. Come on in, mum's made cake." 

It turned out Lyall Lupin had already returned to work, not one to indulge much in holidays. As such only Hope Lupin was home, and as a result the entire house smelt of honey cake and jam tarts. She welcomed Hermione with a genuine smile, her keen brown eyes flickering between her and her son. They all sat down for tea and cake, updating one another on their christmases and Remus on the Potter's party. 

"I almost fell off the roof so many times!" James laughed, pressing his finger onto his plate to scoop up the crumbs. 

"You lot are idiots." Remus laughed at Hermione's side. His thigh pressed against hers and she pressed back even as her brain told her to stop torturing herself. She watched Remus' cheeks tinge pink and he took a long sip of tea. 

Lily told them all of her insufferable christmas. Mostly spent listening to Petunia simultaneously plan her wedding and insult Lily. 

"Next year just come to us." James suggested.

She shook her head, "But mum and dad."

"So bring them. Let Petunia and her husband have christmas with their favourite people, themselves."

Lily frowned and sat back, chewing her thumbnail. 

After Hope had retired upstairs for a nap; James, Sirius, and Peter went out into the meadow to stretch their legs, while Hermione, Lily, and Remus cozied up in the cramped little sitting room. A small fire crackled in the stone hearth and they sat upon a small weathered sofa with lumpy springs. 

"How was your christmas really, Remus?" Lily asked, curling her legs beneath her. 

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. Looking tired beyond his years. "Normal. Mum and I tried our best and Lyall did his."

Hermione said nothing, instead choosing to place her hand reassuringly on Remus' knee. She had no idea how he felt about his family, or what their dynamics were like, but she understood feeling completely and totally at a loss as to make it better. He noticed her and smiled. A smile can do wonders, Hermione reckoned. Transforming someone's face like a cloud drifting across the sky, letting warm light cascade on everything. Brightening, intensifying, warming. 

Suddenly Padfoot and Prongs leapt in front of the window, playful and making a lot of noise. Instantly Remus stiffened. 

"Oh." Lily sat up. "Right. Uh..." She glanced between Remus and Hermione. "I'll just tell them to keep it down. Don't want to disturb your mum." She murmured, getting up and leaving. 

He stayed very still and silent, his breath hard and controlled in his chest. "When did..." He trailed off and flexed his fingers. Immediately Hermione took his hand in hers. 

"Remus look at me please."

It took him a while but eventually he did. The look of fear in his eyes broke her heart. 

She gave him a soft smile and cradled his scarred cheek in her palm. "First off I want to say that nothing could change my opinion of you. You're one of my best friends and I love you. Full stop." He clenched his jaw and she felt the muscle bunch under her palm. "I've known since you all found me in the forbidden forest."

"Kn-known...?" He released a shuddering breath. "Since I... attacked you, you mean?"

Swiping her thumb across his cheek, she shuffled to face him, sitting cross legged. Her knees pressing into his thigh. "I'd never blame you for that Remus."

"But it was me."

"No, it was your lycanthropy's instincts during a full moon. If you had your mind you wouldn't have done that. I know you."

He struggled to accept her words, shaking his head until her hand dropped away. 

Still she pressed on, "Remus. It has never bothered me. I've known other werewolves." Like your future self. "I only care that you're unhurt and healthy. That's all."

"I'm a monster." He rasped. She clutched at his hands and shuffled even closer, practically on his lap.

"You have a medical condition that makes you a danger once a month. Remus, I like you and your lycanthropy doesn't change that in the slightest."

Hazel eyes found hers, unsure and searching. She held his gaze, absolute and steady. After several moments he let out a sigh and the pleasant scent ghosted across her face. She inhaled as he mumbled, "Okay."

"Okay?"

He shrugged. "I'm trying to get better at the whole self-hatred punishment thing. You're the smartest person I know, if you say you're okay with it, I trust you." 

Hermione smiled and crawled into his lap, wrapping her arms around him and holding him tight. "Thank god. I've wanted to let you know for months but I wasn't sure..."

"If I'd pull a me and run away or snap at you?"

She pulled back, their noses inches from one another. "If you'd appreciate it. It's your thing to tell." 

He chuffed and bumped his nose against hers. "I'm glad you told me that you know."

Even though she'd been planning on talking to him about it, it was hardly a choice, what with Padfoot and Prongs prancing about the garden. 

Loosening her arms from his neck, she slid back to her seat and shot him a suddenly shy smile. If they were coming clean about things, she might as well. "Uh, I know we're not together or anything. Obviously." She cringed at her own awkwardness. "Uh, but Sirius kissed me at the train station."

Remus reeled back and immediately looked out the window. Presumably for Sirius. Keeping his lips tight, Remus wrung his hands and waited for her to go on. 

"Uh, it was against my will and believe me, the idiot got a right talking to from me. We actually had a massive fight over it. Monty had to intervene." She admitted, embarrassed. Remus glanced to her and raised a brow. 

"But you're fine now?"

She shrugged. Complicated didn't begin to cover it. 

"Why tell me that if we're not together?"

She shrugged again. "You know what he's like. Sirius'll bring it up when he's being-"

"-A prick?"

She chuffed and adjusted her earring. Fiddling with the cool metal in nervous fingertips. "Something like that. Look, I just didn't want to blind side you. Even if we're not... whatever."

He sighed and clenched his jaw. Staring hard at his scarred fingers. After several moments he relaxed and turned back to her, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "Thanks for telling me."

With that he tugged her to her feet and led her out to the garden where the others were now bickering. 

Though he seemed to have taken Kissgate well, Remus didn't talk to her much for the rest of the afternoon and when they apparated back to Potter Manor he'd barely hugged her goodbye. She noticed that he and Sirius hadn't talked at all the entire time. This wasn't good. In the nineties Remus and Sirius had been each other's lifelines. So close that Ginny had suspected them of being in a secret relationship, though Ron insisted they were more like brothers. Either way, they were bloody close. But here she was. Disrupting things. Being a time travel nuisance and changing things. Sequestered in her rooms in bed, and ignoring the hunger pangs in her stomach, Hermione tossed and turned. Wondering if she should just up and leave the country. Perhaps there wouldn't be boy drama elsewhere. 

The rest of the week was a leisurely affair. Hermione was back to spending most of her time in the library, pouring over Effie's journals. Lily flitted back and forth between Cokeworth and Potter Manor, swinging wildly from deeply irked to deliriously happy. Now that Christmas was over Remus was allowed to visit, which he did sparingly as he didn't get much time alone with his mother and so chose to spend much of his holiday with her. From the way everyone spoke of Hope, Hermione got the impression that she wasn't in the best health. She didn't pry though, deciding it was another thing that Remus ought to decide to tell her. 

When New Years Eve rolled around, Hermione and Lily met up with Mary and Marlene in Diagon Alley, ready to splash the cash. Or in Hermione's case, provide moral support and look pretty. They wandered through various wizarding boutiques but nothing caught their eye. Eventually Lily suggested they all just head into muggle London, as they all preferred muggle fashion anyway. So off they went, visiting shops like BHS and even John Lewis - though no one could afford anything there. Mary picked out a sequinned mini dress, so short Hermione's mother would have had a coronary. Marlene found a corduroy jumpsuit that hugged her athletic frame perfectly and Lily delighted in a bright green halter dress that skimmed her mid thigh. 

"James will love that." Hermione grinned, leaning back on the uncomfortable little sofa in the changing area. Lily chuckled and turned to and fro, admiring her reflection. 

"He will, won't he?" 

The girls chorused with delight and Lily flushed a happy pink. 

"I think I'm ready." She whispered. 

"To checkout?" Marlene asked absently, inspecting her new jumpsuit.

"No to have sex." The three witches' eyes snapped to Lily. "I love him. I trust him."

"We need to buy lingerie." Mary declared.

Hermione watched the happy flush to Lily's skin and the bashful bite of her lip. Too lost in her thoughts of James to even react to Mary's comment. "I'm happy for you, Lils. You two are everything that love should be."

"It's sickening." Mary agreed. 

"Truly disgustingly sweet." Marlene echoed. 

Lily waved them off embarrassed but pleased. In the end, they did find her some extra special lingerie. 

That evening Hermione dressed in the new mini dress the Potter's had gifted her. She turned and admired her reflection. Though she still hadn't regained any weight, she looked good. The dress hugged her hips and bust, though it remained roomy around her middle. Hermione fastened her gold hoop earrings and added a gold necklace. Slipping on a pair of Mary Jane's, Hermione picked up the perfume Lily had gifted her for christmas and spritzed it in the air to walk through it. She figured a direct spritz to her skin would be too much for Remus' senses, heightened as they were. Not that she wanted him to sniff her or anything. Lily slipped through her door, clad in her new outfit and with a scrunched face. 

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"This underwear is so uncomfortable!" She hissed, unpicking a wedgie. "Seriously, how is this sexy?!"

Hermione laughed and held Lily by the shoulders. "James is going to love it. Are you nervous?"

Lily shrugged. "A bit. I've never done it before, obviously, and I want to be good."

"James is going to be so over the moon it won't matter how 'good' you are, Lils." Hermione rolled her eyes. 

The witch shrugged and fiddled with a gold bangle on her wrist. A present from James. "What if he doesn't want to?"

"And what if he decides to attend the party stark naked?"

"Huh?" Lily blanched.

"Oh I'm sorry I thought we were asking stupid questions."

Lily smacked her arm, "Hermione, I'm serious! We're at his family home and Effie and Monty are actually quite strict about this stuff." 

"Then you won't. Being ready doesn't mean you have to do it right this second. It can begin with a conversation, right?"

Lily nodded, fiddling with the bangle thoughtfully. "Yeah." She turned to her, "That was really good advice. How are you so wise at this and so shit in practice?"

Hermione snorted and looped an arm over Lily's shoulder, directing them down to the party. "Oh, who the bloody hell knows?"

Downstairs the manor teemed with guests. Some classmates and friends of the others that Hermione recognised, including some members of the DA. There were colleagues of Effie and Monty, ministry officials here to schmooze and charm, and even a few wizarding celebrities of the day. It was a decidedly grand affair and certainly more wild than the villager's soiree on christmas eve. Hermione gripped Lily's hand tightly as they wove between the press of bodies, searching for the boys. Suddenly Lily quickened, tugging Hermione along and they found James' unruly hair sticking up tall over the crowd. At his side was Peter and Marlene, arguing over something. 

"Wow." James blinked owlishly behind his glasses, taking Lily in. "You look beautiful." He drew her in for a kiss. 

"Thanks!" She breathed happily, casting a furtive glance to Hermione and Marlene who merely smirked. 

Suddenly a large warm presence was at her back and a soothing scent of earth, chocolate, and wood washed over her. She leaned back into the strong chest of Remus and tilted her head up, smiling at him. "Hi." She said. What was it about this man that made her lose her head and flirt so shamelessly? Like a doe-eyed lovestruck little girl.

"Hi." He murmured, hands coming to her hips. Something tugged at her navel and she came back to her senses. Space. She needed space. And a drink. 

She found the bar and poured herself a hefty glass of fairy wine. Another of her 70s firsts, and a fond memory of getting to know Lily, Marlene, and Mary. Taking a long drink, Hermione turned to survey the packed room. Short as she was, she could mostly see people's backs and heads and she felt very confined all of a sudden. Topping up her drink, she padded through the halls, teeming with sequestered little groups and even one or two amorous couples.  She needed air. The scent of Remus still clung to her, like woodsmoke after a campfire, clinging to her curls and clothes. But instead of smoke she smelled of earth, a summer storm, and tea. She pressed her cool glass to her sweaty neck and snuck into the library. It was quiet and when the door closed behind her she breathed a sigh of relief. Running her fingers over the shelves of leather bound books, Hermione inhaled deeply. Old book, parchment, ink, leather, smoke... spice. Firewhiskey. She frowned and rounded a shelf to find Sirius pressing some witch against a shelf and kissing her. Devouring her. Instantly Hermione's stomach dropped and she stumbled back, panicked. Her back collided with a shelf, causing it to rattle. Sirius jerked back, peering over his shoulder to find her. Hermione did a double take, the witch was a wizard and definitely enjoying themselves. Sirius stilled, and she thought she saw the beginnings of panic slice across his dark grey eyes.

"Sorry!" Hermione whispered, backing up and turning the corner.

"Kitten, wait!" The sound of panicked footsteps followed her.

She almost made it to the doors when a large pale hand slammed it shut in front of her face. She turned to find Sirius panting over her shoulder. Towering and radiating heat. Hermione swallowed and turned, backing against the door. "I wasn't watching, I swear!" She didn't know what made her say it and if he hadn't suspected her of such voyeurism he did now. Sirius smirked and slid his hand down the wood until his palm rested next to her face. 

"No?" 

She shook her head. 

"Does it bother you? What you saw?" He asked, insecurity flickering in his eyes. 

Right, because it was the seventies and he'd been raised a pureblood. Homosexuality had only been legalised for just over ten years in the muggle world and as always, the wizarding world was far behind in attitude. 

"No, not at all." She said honestly. And it didn't. She'd never understood people's preoccupation with sexuality even in the nineties. 

"Not even a little bit?" Sirius asked, looking a little hurt. Ah, he wanted her to be jealous. 

She wet her lips and shook her head. "You should probably get back to your friend." Hermione whispered, pushing him gently back with a hand to his chest. He allowed her, stepping away and giving her space to open the door and flee. 

It was well into the party and almost midnight when Hermione finally found some friends. She'd spent the past half an hour at Effie's side, introducing herself to Effie's old colleagues at the hospital and networking her little socks off. Finally, Effie released her with a hug and told her to let her hair down and have some fun. Not likely, fun usually equalled massive anxiety over time travel paradoxes for Hermione. 

"And have some food," Effie reprimanded kindly, "It'll soak up the alcohol."

Hermione promised she would and went to top up her drink. She ate a single salmon puff and figured that would be enough. She was too stressed to eat anyway. Weaving through drunken party goers, Hermione searched the crowd. Suddenly that wonderful scent was back. Remus. She turned to find him cradling a firewhiskey in his hand and his eyes on her. Dark and unrelenting, they focused on her with far too much hunger. 

"I feel I've not seen you all night." Remus remarked, and suddenly without realising she'd stepped into his space. Almost close enough to press against him, but not quite. 

"I've been networking." Hermione explained breathlessly. No, she must keep her head. Hermione forced herself to step away and began breathing through her mouth. It was his bloody scent. It drew her in like a moth to a flame. Or Padfoot to a piece of meat. It worked for half a second before she realised she could taste his scent and it was so much worse. It made her want to lick him. "Where is everyone?" She rasped, downing her wine. 

He raised a brow and shrugged. "About. Lily and James disappeared a while ago." He added with a wry smirk. 

"Oh good." Hermione grinned, happy for her friends. Suddenly, the crowd parted and she spied Mary and Marlene on a sofa, heads together and in deep conversation. Their knees touched and when Marlene's pinky finger brushed against Mary's, Hermione blinked in shock. Of course. 

"Oh, yeah. Sirius has a bet going with Peter on when they'll get together."

"Of course he does." Hermione muttered. "They'd be good together." 

He nodded and she felt his arm press into hers. It took everything in her not to lean into his warmth. "A lot of people in our group are good together. James and Lily. Mary and Marlene." You and me, he didn't say though she heard it regardless. 

"Peter and his hand." Hermione quipped, keen to distract him. Remus let out a bark of surprised laughter, which turned into a warm chuckle. 

"You've been spending too much time with us." He remarked softly, brushing a curl behind her ear with such tenderness Hermione's knees went wobbly. 

She looked up at him. Tawny scarred skin and handsome features that pulled together in the softest look Hermione had ever been a subject of. "No such thing." She murmured. 

He smiled and brushed his thumb atop her cheekbone before dropping his hand. "Can we go somewhere and talk?"

Hermione bit her lip. This sounded like a wonderful idea to her which probably meant she shouldn't. Time travel problems and all. "Uh..."

"It won't take long. Besides, it's horrible and stuffy in here." He grumbled and she had to agree. So she let him take her hand and lead her through the winding halls of Potter Manor. 

He led them down through the bustling kitchens and out into the cold night air. Darkness enveloped them immediately and Hermione could only see through the light bleeding through the windows from the house. He lead her through the kitchen gardens until they came to a little bench beneath a rose trellis. She imagined in the summer this would be unimaginably beautiful. Enchanted April levels of pretty. 

They sat down, side by side, and silence prevailed. Comfortable but anticipatory. 

"Remember our almost kiss at Sirius' birthday?" He brought up finally.

"Yes." How could she forget? She dreamt of it every night. A small window of light amongst the nightmares. 

"And remember when I said I went to talk to Marlene about it because I'm a bit of a mess when it comes to romance and shit."

Hermione's lips quirked, "In so many words, yes." 

"It's because of the lycanthropy." He admitted. "Though Marlene doesn't know that. I don't think. I dunno, I feel like everyone knows by now."

"It's hard to hide." Hermione said. He blew out a forceful breath and raked a hand through his hair. 

"But that's why I freaked out a bit. I just... it's dangerous to be with me and I don't want to ever hurt you."

She turned to face him, capturing one large hand in her own. "Remus, you'd never hurt me. I'm afraid I've been hurting you..."

He looked up, confused. 

"With Sirius and being hot and cold with you. I know I'm doing it and I can't really explain it other than... I'm a fucking mess." He gave a soft huff and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, drawing her close to drop a kiss to her head. "I've lost everything and everyone. I..." I'm frozen with fear of fucking it all up. "I don't know what to do. I know I like you, a lot. But I know I'm not okay." She gave a bitter laugh and scrubbed at her eyes. "I can't even bloody eat anymore! It's fucked." Remus said nothing, just dropped continuous little kisses to her curls. "And Sirius is stressing me out and I'm getting in the middle of you two, which I absolutely hate, and I'm just messing everything up, Remus. I can't do this anymore." She trailed off, staring listlessly at the dim gravel beneath their feet. 

"So don't." He whispered, lips moving over her hair. "No one expects you to be perfect, Hermione, and if you want to try with me, well, we can give it a go. But if you're not ready we'll just be friends. As for Sirius, I dunno, we have our own shit and sure this whole thing hasn't helped, but it's our thing to deal with. Not yours to fix. You don't have to fix everything, Hermione."

Then she cried. Because she did have to fix everything. That was her job. She was the fixer. The one who had the answers and made sure everyone made it out safe and alive. Harry and Ron had relied on her for years. Whether that was to help with homework or escape life or death situations. They'd always needed her. It was odd to be friends with people who didn't seem to need her, just want her. They valued her friendship for who she was, not what she could do for them as well. It was an entirely foreign concept and a bitter little bubble hardened in her heart. Encased in gelatinous guilt and shaky denial. Because how could she think such an awful thing of Harry and Ron. They loved her, and she loved them. But she'd never see them again, not like before anyway. 

Remus held her as she cried, stroking her hair and kissing her temple. When she calmed he pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead and drew back. "I didn't mean to upset you."

She shook her head, "You didn't. Everything is a lot." She mumbled, getting to her feet. Suddenly the sky above exploded with starbursts of multicoloured fireworks. They turned their faces to the sky, watching the dizzying array of light dance and sparkle in the broad night sky. "Happy New Year, Remus."

His fingers tightened on her waist. "Happy New Year, Hermione."

Neither moved and when the fireworks faded they walked silently back to the house. 

Chapter Text

Four days later everyone piled onto the Hogwarts express back to school. The trip was decidedly less celebratory going to school rather than away from it, as such Hermione enjoyed a much quieter journey. They sat in the same compartment as before but this time Mary stayed with them, having apparently broken up with her boyfriend over the holidays. An extra person didn't seem like that much more, but in a cramped train compartment filled with eight young adults, it was. Which is how she found herself half sitting on Remus' lap and squished into the window. They sat stiffly, listening to the conversation around them, but she could feel the way his hands tightened on her hips and the strength of his thighs under her bum. She sighed and prayed their prefect duties began soon. 

Across the way, James and Lily sat, canoodling and in a generally loved up bubble that they seemed to forget the rest of them were there. More than once the boys threw something at James' head when he began kissing her a little too passionately for polite company. But the girls just shared a knowing smile and ignored them. It had been late morning on New Years Day when Lily tumbled into Hermione's bedroom, dragging a barely awake Marlene and Mary behind her. They crowded into Hermione's bed, nursing hangovers and wincing at the slightest bit of sunlight. A tangle of limbs beneath the warm covers. Finally, Lily sat up and drew everyone's sleepy attention to her. 

"We did it."

Mary shot up straight away, immediately wincing and holding her head. She took several deep breaths, her finger held up with anticipation. Finally she opened her eyes and grinned. "Tell us everything."

"How do you feel?" Hermione asked, utterly rapt. It was something she thought about often, a teenage girl on the cusp of womanhood as she was. From her very first crush on Gilderoy Lockheart, Hermione had been the victim of fleeting fancies that grew with her hormonal body. Even Remus, as her professor in all his scruffy and kind glory, had been a crush at some point. Viktor Krum had been the first person to light something warm and low in her belly. When he kissed her the night of the Yule Ball and called her beautiful. Then they'd spent a few weeks kissing in increasingly heated ways, until Hermione, only fifteen at the time, had put a stop to things. Viktor, eighteen and an international quidditch star was respectful and sweet, but there had been an underlying expectation Hermione wasn't ready for yet. Then her crushes had focussed in increasingly brief periods on the boys in her year and above. Fred and George both made frequent appearance in her fantasies but she knew nothing with them could happen. They were Ron and Ginny's older brothers and friends of her own too. There had been Michael Corner for a two week period and he'd even kissed her behind the Herbology greenhouses. But it had reminded her of her mother's washing machine, killing that crush dead in the water. Then there had been Theodore Nott, studious and quiet and really quite clever. But he was in Slytherin and seemed to be friends with Draco Malfoy and his lot, so she stamped that out quickly. A few more boys had caught her fancy, and there had been a very confusing month where Luna Lovegood had been the most ethereal girl Hermione had ever seen, but her incessant need to believe in the unbelievable had curbed that back to friendship very safely. Finally Ron had caught her eye. It was surprising and had caught her totally off guard. It was Ron. Lanky, funny, idiotic Ron who could be cruel and indifferent, but was so loyal and had moments of genius that lit Hermione's cheeks on fire. He transformed almost over night from smelly unwashed teenage boy who made crude jokes, to someone with muscles and a disarming grin that sent Hermione's stomach into flutters. But he'd liked Lavender and took every opportunity to be an un-self aware git.

Hermione refocussed her attention on Lily, who had gone a brilliant shade of red.

"Good. Really good. I feel really close to him." She admitted in a breathless whisper. Even Hermione joined in the chorus of 'aw's' that squealed around the room. "It wasn't like romance novels or anything. Like there weren't fireworks or sparks or-"

"Orgasms?" Mary snorted.

Lily blushed harder, "Well," She raised a brow and the girls squealed again. "It was perfect. I just felt really... loved." 

Hermione pressed the backs of her hands to her cheeks, in an effort to subdue the brilliant grin on her face. She was just so happy for her friend. 

"Did you stay the night?" Marlene asked, her blonde hair brushing against the duvet as she leaned forward.

Lily bit her lip and nodded, "Yeah. Snuck out this morning so Effie and Monty didn't catch us." Suddenly she sank down into the covers, leaning against the plush pillows. "It was perfect, girls. He's perfect." 

Mary made a retching noise and they descended into giggles and listened rapt as Lily told them everything. 

When they made it to Hogwarts Hermione climbed into a carriage with Sirius, Peter, and Marlene. She eyed the thestral who nickered softly and threw their great head. "What are you looking at?" Marlene asked, searching the air in front of the carriage. 

"The thestral." Sirius said. He glanced down at Hermione who looked up at him in shock. He didn't say a word but skimmed the backs of his knuckles along her spine. A silent show of understanding. 

Marlene, perhaps sensing the melancholy moment, simply shrugged and the carriage jerked forward as the Thestral set off. Hermione felt guilty, as per. Sirius assumed the reasons she could see her Thestral was because of her parents. Perhaps imagining her a witness to her parents' untimely death. But no, she'd witnessed death in battle. In the Ministry. On the back of another thestral at hundreds of feet in the air, clinging to Kingsley Shacklebolt as Death Eater's tried to kill her. She watched enemies fall to their deaths, perhaps already gone. When they arrived at the castle she climbed from the carriage and followed Marlene and the others up to the tower. 

She unpacked quietly, ignoring Marlene and Mary's gentle probes and when Lily came back to the dorm after her duties, Hermione changed into her running clothes and left. 

§

Lessons started up straight away. Once again the seventies hit her with another first and she struggled to get back into the swing of things after christmas. She found her mind wandering in potions, which resulted in several fires and one explosion. Her attention waned in transfiguration, earning a scowl from McGonagall that would haunt her dreams forever more. Even in Ancient Runes and Arithmancy Hermione struggled to keep her mind firmly in the lesson and learning. It was especially in Arithmancy that Hermione struggled. The more she pulled away from Remus' affections the more she craved them. His thighs warm next to hers as they sat side by side, taking notes. His breath skating across her cheek as he leaned in to ask a question or make a remark. Often she found her gaze wandering to watch his hands taking notes. Meditating on the gentle grace of his fingers, the sturdy knobs of his knuckles and the veins which intersected beneath his tawny skin. Sometimes he'd flex a fist, perhaps from muscle cramp, and Hermione would have to bite down on her lip and physically stop herself from shivering. It was ridiculous. During the evenings she holed away in the hospital wing, helping Madame Pomphrey where ever she could and learning on the job. Effie had made several copies of her journals and sent them to Hermione a week into term, as such Hermione was often lost with her nose in them. Sniffing out every bit of useful information that she could. The others took to orchestrating increasingly complicated scenes in front of her while she read, ready for the moment she finally looked up and caught them. Sometimes the boys would be balancing on top of one another, Sirius pretending to passionately snog James while Remus and Peter pretended to faint. Or James would pretend to strangle Peter whilst Sirius clutched his pearls and Remus lay as if already a victim. The scenarios grew in scope and vision until props and other cast members (read: other members of Gryffindor house) would join in. Every time she finally looked up from her work she'd burst into giggles and a warm content feeling spread through her gut.  

But all was not well. Hermione was struggling to eat just as much as she had before Pomphrey's intervention and had been debating telling Lily, for she'd grown much better at hiding it from everyone else. She just didn't want them to worry, is all. She and Sirius had settled into a tame and nervous sort of friendship which felt completely strange as Sirius was not a tame and nervous sort of person. Even when she insisted that she wouldn't tell anyone about the wizard he'd been kissing, and promised it really didn't bother her, Sirius just stayed quiet and changed the subject. On the bright side, he was flirting with her less, leaving her less confused and conflicted. 

When the full moon rolled around Hermione decided to just sleep down in the hospital wing. She wasn't going to get a wink anyway so she might as well ready a bed for Remus and read Effie's journals. Just after sunrise on Sunday morning, Remus hobbled into the wing on foot. A fantastic sign. Immediately she rushed to help support his weight. Madame Pomphrey walking beside them, a gentle hand to Remus' back. He collapsed onto the bed with a groan and winced, clutching his ribs. 

"Broken?" Madame Pomphrey tutted, waving her wand. "Watch closely Miss Granger." She performed a complicated incantation and a simple wand movement, resulting in an x-ray image over Remus' t-shirt. "No, good boy." Remus rolled his eyes and sat back gingerly. 

"Pulled muscle then?" He asked. Pomphrey nodded and handed him a pain potion, which he drained without question. Hermione watched the pair fascinated. There was a rhythm and routine to their actions that spoke of years of partnership. A nurse and her ward. When Pomphrey had finished she stroked Remus' hair back with a tender hand and wished him a good night. It was the most maternal Hermione had ever seen the no-nonsense witch. 

"Don't stay up too long, Remus. You need rest." Pomphrey lectured, turning with a stern brow raise and heading for her quarters at the back of the room. 

Remus huffed and settled back against the pillows. "You didn't need to be here."

Hermione shrugged, "I know. But I could either not sleep, worry, and be useful, or not sleep, worry, and be useless."

"I know which I'd prefer." Remus chuckled. He reached out his fingertips, finding Hermione's. "Thanks."

A warm blush spread on her cheeks and she bat it away by fussing over his blankets and pillows. When he laughed and caught her wrists, insisting that he was plenty comfortable, Hermione stilled and bit her lip. 

"The boys will be here soon." Remus whispered, gentle circles tracing from his thumbs to her pulse points. 

Her breath stuttered and she stared down at his lovely hands, so gentle and strong. "Do you want me to go?"

He laughed under his breath and shot her a look. "No. If anything I want you to crawl into bed with me." His cheeks pinked immediately, matching her own. Then he was stammering in that charming Remus way of his. "I- uh, I mean, not into bed, just, I wanted you to stay. Y'know? Shit."

She put him out of his misery by tapping his hip until he shuffled to the side, making room for her. "Not for long, Pomphrey's right." She warned as she sat beside him and nestled into his side, over the covers. 

"Usually is. It's very annoying." He muttered, wrapping an arm around her and leaning his cheek on her head. 

In an unforeseen and totally unpredictable turn of events; they fell asleep. Hermione woke to a series of sniggers and opened her eyes to find Peter and James making kissy faces at them. "You're children." Hermione mumbled, rubbing sleep from her eyes. The sun was attempting to poke through heavy clouds and she estimated it to be mid-morning. Suddenly she realised Pomphrey must have seen them asleep together during her morning rounds and a brilliant blush washed over her. 

"S'alright Hermione, we won't tell." James winked, shaking Remus' foot til he woke up. 

"Wha-?" He grumbled, brows drawing together. Hermione slid from bed and he opened his eyes with a frown. "Don't go."

"Aw! Bless!" Peter cooed and James smirked. 

"Piss off, Wormtail." Remus grouched, sliding up to sit up. Hermione gave him a rueful little smile and said she was going to go back to the tower to shower and change, "I'll be back soon. Any book you want me to bring?"

"Ooh The Shining, please." Remus smiled, a picture of sleepy softness. It made Hermione want to crawl right into bed with him and never leave. 

Instead she smiled tightly and hurried away. 

Feeling fresh and dressed in a pair of jeans and a jumper, Hermione traipsed from the girls' dorms to the boys' in search of Remus' book. She knocked on their dorm door and Sirius' voice sounded, "Yeah?"

She cracked open the door and peered in. He was sat in ripped jeans and a faded band t-shirt, cross-legged on his bed and separating sweets. She cocked her head in question at his odd activity and he grinned, "Don't ask, kitten." 

Fine with her. "Just came to get a book for Remus." She said, crossing to his bed. She searched his bedside table and frowned, it wasn't there. Next she looked through his pillows and sheets, wondering if he might have left it in bed. 

"Don't look under the mattress, kitten." Sirius snorted and she drew back, red hot. 

She managed to stammer out a question to Sirius, asking if he knew where Remus' book was. He sat back and let his long legs extend, bracketing the sweets between his thighs. "'fraid not, kitten. Just bring him the porn, he'll be happy."

"Sirius." Hermione sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

"What?"

"Stop it."

"Stop what."

"Being so..." She gestured vaguely to him, exasperated. 

He smirked and slung his legs to the side, getting to his feet. Slowly he walked to her and cocked his head. "It's a perfectly natural thing, kitten. I'm sure you do it."

If she wasn't already blushing she was sure she'd be lobster red anyway. "Stop it."

"But you're cute when you blush."

Hermione stepped back and suddenly spied the book poking out of his messy trunk. She snatched it up and held it to her chest. "So what?" She glanced up at him, defiant. "Are you flirting with me again?"

Sirius shrugged. It was infuriating. She felt like a plaything, purely for Sirius' amusement whenever the mood took him.

"I'm going back to the hospital wing, are you coming?"

Suddenly his expression darkened and he loped back to his bed, landing on it with a crash. "Nope. See you."

He returned his attention to the sweets, an utterly bored expression on his beautiful face. She waited and when it was clear he wasn't going to change his mind, she left with a huff. 

The full moon had been kind to Remus that month and he was out of the hospital wing before evening fell. Hermione walked with him to the Great Hall for dinner, a small smile on her lips. It had been a lovely day. One of her best so far. Just her and Remus in the hospital wing. James had left when it was clear that Remus was more interested in staring at Hermione while she worked than talking to him, off to find Lily and have some fun. Peter, bored of being ignored, caught sight of some friends in Hufflepuff and jogged after them, leaving them alone. Between duties, Hermione sat next to Remus and they read his book together. Making quiet observations or sharing insightful analysis that made Hermione's heart sing. It had been totally relaxing and they both felt renewed and content when Madame Pomphrey let them go. A small smile playing on the matron's lips. 

They sat together next to Mary and across from James, Lily, Sirius, and Marlene. Peter was off talking to someone in Ravenclaw and being very loud about it. Halfway through dinner Sirius leaned forward and caught Lily's eye. "So, Lilyflower..." He crooned, all charm and mischief.

"What?" Lily asked suspiciously. 

"How big a party do you want for your birthday?"

Hermione looked up. "When's your birthday?"

"Thirtieth." Lily frowned. "And I don't want one. It's going to be on a Tuesday. No point."

James spluttered. "No point?! Lily Julia-"

"That's not my middle name."

"Lily Juniper-"

"Nope."

"Juliet?"

"Nuh uh."

"Josephine?"

By this point everyone had become distracted and were throwing out as many J names as they could think of. Remus stayed silent until a lull in the din and then quietly said, "Jasmine."

"Correct." Lily beamed. 

James eyed the two of them and pouted, "Oh. Wow your mum and dad really like flowers, huh?"

Lily laughed, "Yes, they do. Pet likes to pretend her middle name is Mary but it's actually Rose."

Mary snorted, "She chose Mary over Rose? God she's weird." 

"I like Mary." Sirius glittered, taking her hand and kissing the back. Mary rolled her eyes with a fond smile and drew her hand back. Hermione thought it harmless until she felt Remus stiffen beside her and she glanced to him, finding his eyes on Sirius; who was watching her carefully. For fuck's sake. 

Turning back to Lily, Hermione said, "So a party?" 

The redhead groaned and huffed. "I know I can't stop it, but nothing big. Promise me!" She pointed at James and then Sirius who nodded solemnly before winking over the top of Lily's head at each other. 

§

Over the next couple of weeks, between DA meetings, school work, hospital duty, and nights spent in the common room snoozing with Remus, a book forgotten on their laps, Hermione helped in the planning of Lily's eighteenth birthday party. It was decided it would be held on the Saturday night before her birthday in order to give everyone time to get over their hangovers come Monday morning. Try as they might, neither Hermione nor Remus could temper Sirius and James' appetites for a big blow out and the guest list went from close friends in Gryffindor and the DA, to everyone from fifth year and up, bar the Slytherins. Mary took it upon herself to organise decorations and roped Hermione and Marlene into helping. That Saturday, as James took Lily into Hogsmeade for a birthday treat, the girls decorated Gryffindor's common room with streamers, balloons, and an ungodly amount of lilies and jasmine. When Remus came in he sneezed. 

"Bloody hell, did you rob a greenhouse?"

"It's for our Lilyflower." Mary grinned, plucking a flower and placing it behind Remus' ear. "You look pretty Remy-bear." 

"Thanks Mar." He rolled his eyes but didn't take the flower out. 

As night fell the girls intercepted Lily on her way back from her date and stole her from James' clutches. "Sorry not sorry!" Mary cackled, strong arming Lily through the common room while Hermione kept a hand clapped over her eyes. 

"What's going on?! What's that smell?" Lily laughed, stumbling. 

Marlene shushed her and pushed them up the stairs to their dorm. What followed was a memory Hermione was sure she'd think of to fuel her patronus. ABBA, Barry Manilow, Andy Gibb and Rod Stewart blared from a mixtape Will had made Mary for christmas. The girls took turns showering before applying makeup and setting their hair in rollers. Lily borrowed a sequinned jumpsuit from Mary, receiving a series of wolf whistles from the girls. Mary donned a mini skirt and halter top that shone brilliantly against her rich brown skin. While Marlene wore a cherry red leather jacket and bellbottoms with a Runaways t-shirt. She teased her shaggy hair until it was a riotous mess of blonde around her thin face. Even Hermione dressed up, donning her trusty bellbottoms and a floral halter top borrowed from Mary. She had to perform some secretive tailoring charms to her jeans, which were now roomy instead of hugging her tight. But then she turned back to the girls, put on her gold hoop earrings and danced about to Cliff Richard's Devil Woman. The girls gathered round, hair tongs and make up brushes forgotten, clasping hands and singing,

She's just a devil woman,

with evil on her mind

Beware the devil woman

she's gonna get you

It struck Hermione that if she'd never gone back to the seventies that perhaps she'd never have experienced this. So drawn to Harry and Ron who both abhorred anything girly. Hermione, so desperate to hold onto the only friends she'd made in first year eschewed all things feminine from her dorm-mates. To her own detriment, it seemed. She got on with Lavender and Pavarti civilly enough, until sixth year that is, but she'd never been close to them. She hadn't even gotten ready for the Yule Ball with them, instead going to Ginny's dorm to get ready with her. A wave of sadness washed over her as she jumped up and down, singing her heart out with her friends. Perhaps in another life she'd had been singing with her other dorm-mates, screaming the Backstreet Boys as the tops of the lungs and thumping up and down on the floorboards so much the walls shuddered. Hermione would never know. 

Lily came down to a chorus of Happy Birthday, out of tune and already drunk. She burst out laughing, a true happiness to her sweet round face. James surged forward, embracing her in a sweeping kiss to whoops and hollers from the crowd. The party descended thick with smoke and alcohol. Lily was lecturing James and Sirius on the size and wild nature but a smile never left her lips, leading to James and Sirius to not take her seriously. Almost everyone had shown up, as such the party spilled from the common room upstairs to various dorms and even out into the hallway. 

"McGonagall is going to be so mad!" Lily hissed, swaying in James' arms. 

"Nope!" James and Sirius echoed, a smirk to their faces. 

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "What did you do?"

"We didn't do anything." James grinned, nodding at Remus who stood pink cheeked, a bottle of beer paused at his lips. 

"What did you do?" Hermione wheeled on him.

"Well I may or may not had tea with her this afternoon and I may or may not have slipped a sleeping potion into her tea."

Hermione and Lily gasped, smacking Remus' arms and chest in a barrage of shock. "You drugged our teacher?!"

"Well I made sure it was camomile and she dismissed me because she thought it had made her sleepy." He admitted sheepishly before grinning broadly, "Which it did."

"To Moony, the bravest Marauder!" Sirius raised his beer can, catching everyone by surprise. He hardly even acknowledged Remus anymore, save for pranks and mischief it seemed. 

"To Moony!" James and Peter, who had appeared from nowhere, echoed.

"To Lily!" Remus redirected, raising his drink. A roar erupted loud like a lion through the tower and Lily squeezed her eyes shut in a disbelieving laugh. But Hermione paid as much attention as she could to this moment. For in a few short years Lily would be dead and she deserved all the happiness she could get before that happened. 

The party thumped on and eventually the Slytherins were drawn from their dungeon, the more tolerant deigning the party with their presence. Hermione was afraid Snape and his cronies would show up but Lily had friends in high places (the beaters of the Gryffindor quidditch team) and they stood like beefy bouncers outside the tower, lest any bigots slip through and ruin Lily Evans' night. 

Hermione drank and drank and drank until people swayed and Hermione only wanted one thing. Remus. She searched high and low until finally stumbling across him, talking to a Ravenclaw friend on the stairs to his dorm. She smiled at him and grabbed his hand, leading him up the steps without even bothering to make an excuse to his friend. He followed her, barely uttering a word to his very bemused looking friend and she led him to his room. When they were shut in, with only the dim gloom of a few candles to light the space, she turned and looked at him. He was drunk too. Looking at her hungrily with dark eyes and an intense expression. She reached for him and he was upon her in a moment. Hands running over her back and hips like he couldn't get enough. She closed her eyes and tilted her head up, unable to stop herself. She knew this was bad and that there was a reason. But her blood alcohol level was too high to remember. 

"Are you sure?" Remus whispered, breath hot on her lips. That oh so pleasant warmth spread through her and she leaned into him. 

"Please kiss me."

He leaned down, touching his lips to hers. Gently and tentatively, as if giving her room to back off. Hermione whined and pressed herself to her toes, gripping his soft t-shirt and drawing him closer. He increased the pressure and when he swiped his tongue over her lips she saw stars. Hermione had never been kissed like this in her life. Not even with Viktor. Michael Corner had tried for this type of fevered intensity but he lacked the chemistry and technique. Even Sirius, who had been a great kisser, hadn't felt like this. It consumed her. An almost feral need to mould herself to his body. She didn't realise they'd stumbled back until her knees hit the edge of a bed and she fell back, taking him down with her. 

"We can stop." He rasped, panting. 

"Do you want to?" She whispered, nuzzling her nose against his. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, catching hers too by a whisper. 

"Fuck no."

Then Hermione's most intimate dreams began to come true. The kind she thought of from time to time before sternly reminding herself that Remus wasn't hers and never could be. The thought pulled at the fringes of her mind and she batted it away. Drunk enough to ignore her own neuroses. His hands trailed over her body and she finally understood what it meant to arch into someone's touch. His fingers danced beneath the edge of her shirt and she was about to tell him it was okay when a knock came at the door. 

"Piss off!" Remus shouted over his shoulder, returning his lips to hers immediately. 

"It's urgent!" Sirius shouted back and Remus swore. 

"Bloody tosser." He grumbled, "Don't care. Occupied!" 

"Get decent, I have to come in!" Sirius warned and Remus swore again, more vehemently this time. 

Hermione scrambled back on Remus' bed, righting her top and smoothing out her hair while Remus groaned and adjusted himself, standing to face the door. Sirius poked his head in and took a sharp inhale through flared nostrils. 

"What?! What is it?" Remus snapped. 

Sirius glared back and simply stepped aside. Dumbledore stood behind him, solemn. Hermione jumped to stand. 

"Professor?" Remus straightened immediately and glanced at Hermione like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. 

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Dumbledore said quietly, "But might Miss Granger accompany me to the hospital wing." It was a demand, not a request. Hermione sobered immediately.

"What? Why?" Hermione started forward. 

"It is best if I explain in private." Dumbledore said quietly, gesturing for her to follow him. She glanced at Remus over her shoulder and left quietly, following Dumbledore down the stairs and through a silent and confused party. Someone had stopped the music and Hermione once again felt everyone's eyes on her. It felt like when Cedric had died. That pit in her stomach fell through the floor and sent her heart rate to skyrocket. She wrung her hands and tried to focus on her breathing. Who was hurt? Did Madame Pomphrey need her services that badly? Was it a party goer? Drunk and falsely infalliable. Oh god, what if it was one of her friends? But surely Sirius and Remus would be coming too. Hermione walked a few steps behind Dumbledore until the party grew to be a distant memory and the halls grew dark and silent. 

"Professor, what's going on?" Hermione whispered.

"I'm afraid it really is very hard to explain. I need you to confirm something." 

Confirm? Hermione's brain raced to figure out this riddle. What could she possibly have to confirm at this time of night in the middle of a party? Just when she and Remus- Oh god. She'd given in. Hermione shook herself of all thoughts of Remus and returned to the current problem. They arrived at the hospital wing and a single bed was in use, curtains drawn tight to obscure any passer by's view. He led her to the curtains and gave her a bracing look before drawing them back. 

Hermione stepped forward, noting Madame Pomphrey bent over a tall and thin boy. He had messy black hair and warm brown skin. Hermione's heart stopped. James. And he looked dead.

"Oh my god." Hermione surged forward, picking up James' hand. "James?"

"James Potter is quite well, I saw him at the party dancing with Miss Evans." Dumbledore murmured and nodded to Madame Pomphrey who withdrew and left them alone. James was still at the party? Then who...

She brushed back the boy's hair from his damp forehead and her heart stopped. "Harry." 

Chapter Text

"Harry?"

Her vision blurred with thick tears as she ran her hands over his lightening scar spread in jagged lines over his forehead. A scar she knew so well. It was definitely him. She peeled back one of his lids. Lily green. "No." She breathed, unable to believe it. "It can't be... he's... but..."

"I thought it might be your Harry." Dumbledore said quietly, "I needed you to confirm."

"What happened?" Hermione looked up at him, stricken. 

He folded his hands over his belly and sighed, "Hagrid found him in the forbidden forest. He thinks it's James and assumed he and his friends had been getting up to a little too much mischief, as they are want to do. I will continue to let him think that." He added. "Harry has been unconscious the entire time, we don't know how long he has been there for."

Hermione looked him over and cast a diagnostic. It was shaky but competent enough to tell her his vitals. He was severely dehydrated and obviously lacked nutrition. She ran her eyes over his emaciated form, he was nothing more than skin and bones. But then again, so was she. They'd struggled enough for food between the two of them, let alone by themselves whilst on the run. She smoothed a hand over his hair and pressed her face to his chest. "Oh Harry, what happened?" Only the fluttering of his weak pulse answered her.

Harry slept on, shallow and quick breaths spoke of the distress his body was under. She checked him over for new scars as best she could and found a couple of new ones. A jagged cut on his shoulder, a large bruise on his hip, and a thin red burn around the base of his neck. Hermione got to work under Dumbledore's watchful gaze. He said nothing while she tended to her friend with a practiced familiarity that spoke of years of looking after one another. 

The entire time tears spilled down her cheeks, cutting a rivulet into the glittery makeup Mary had put on her earlier. Glittery tears splashed down onto Harry's bloodied and dirty t-shirt. He couldn't be here. He just couldn't. If he was here then Voldemort would win. She worked diligently until Harry smelled of bruise paste and disinfectant, and her face was clean. 

Hermione stood back, surveying her work. Pomphrey would no doubt come and check but it would do for now. Harry slept on, his thin chest rising and falling far too rapidly for Hermione's liking. She took a seat and reached for his hand-

"Bloody hell..." Came a familiar voice and Hermione's head snapped up. A ruffle of fabric sounded to reveal James Potter, who stood wide eyed and staring at his son. "Is that me?" Watery air ruffled again, revealing Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. Shit. 

"Boys, you should not be here." Dumbledore said in a dangerous voice. 

"Is that me?!" James repeated, walking forward. No, no, no, no, no. This couldn't be right. If Harry was here then everything had changed, right? There was no way Sirius had met Harry as a teenager and just neglected to mention it. Remus too. It had changed. The timeline had already changed. 

"Ohmygod." Hermione stood, her chair scraping across the stone floor.

"Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked, quirking a brow.

"Don't you see?" She grinned, slightly giddy. From fear or relief, she wasn't quite sure. "It's all changed. This never happened."

Looks of confusion passed between the boys and Hermione ignored them, her focus solely on Dumbledore. The wizard's overgrown brows pinched together and he stared at Harry's unconscious form. "We must right it."

"How?" Hermione pressed, eyes wide as her heart pounded. "We don't know how this happened, there's no way to right it, Professor." His eyes flickered to hers but he made no comment. "Harry is here and I know for a fact that that never happened."

"Harry?" Sirius blurted, "This is Harry?"

She startled, having quite forgotten they had an audience. 

"The Harry she keeps mumbling about in her sleep?" Peter echoed, peering down at Harry's sleeping form with obvious curiosity. 

Hermione ignored them, there would be time to explain later. "Dumbledore, everything has changed. We no longer have the restraints of time holding us back."

"Time?!" Peter said in a panicked voice, watery blue eyes darting between them. Something deep in her subconscious told Hermione to be careful, given who Peter would turn out to be until she realised that he might never turn out to be that way. Everything had changed. 

"We can finish this. Before-" She cut herself off and glanced meaningfully at the dead men walking, who stood staring with hard eyes at her. She chanced a look at Remus, who was watching her carefully. "Sir, you know I'm right."

Dumbledore pursed his lips and walked closer to Harry's bedside, peering down at the boy. "I know nothing of the sort, Miss Granger." He sighed and massaged his temples. "Boys, gather round please." 

Hermione knew what he was going to do before he even tried. "No! Please don't!" She reached across Harry to grip Dumbledore's arm. It was thin and boney in her grip. Somehow she'd always thought of him as being substantial, even when withered by Tom Riddle's curse he'd seemed strong and steadfast. But he was an ageing man with old bones. 

"Miss Granger, they cannot know-"

"Why not?!" She interrupted. "James deserves to know! They all do!" 

"Who is Harry?!" James demanded, unable to stay silent any longer. He marched forward, Sirius close in his wake. They surrounded Harry and Hermione was struck by how awful it would be for him to wake up now. 

"We can explain everything, but Harry needs rest." Hermione said, lowering her voice. Suddenly gentle and caring. She brushed Harry's hair tenderly and stepped away, gesturing for them to follow. Dumbledore and the boys followed reluctantly and she drew the curtain around Harry's bed and cast a muffliato. 

"Who the hell is Harry and why does he look exactly like James?" Sirius demanded in a low hiss. 

Without the direct glow of Harry's bedside lamp, the hospital wing was dark and eerie. "Not everything must be known." Dumbledore said cagily, "In fact, some truths must never be known." This he directed at Hermione who stood steadfast with a scowl.

"The future has changed. Harry never came back here. Sirius and Remus never mention it." 

"What?" All four boys echoed.

"Careful, Miss Granger." Dumbledore said. "That logic could be applied to your own situation." 

She huffed and crossed her arms. It was true. She'd been operating under the assumption that she wasn't all that important in the defeat of Voldemort, whose responsibility fell to Harry. It wasn't a loss if Hermione got lost in time. It was if Harry did. 

"We need to wake him up." Hermione decided. "We can decide from there."

"Miss Granger-"

She whirled on Dumbledore and spread her arms wide, imploring, "If Harry has defeated Voldemort then the future is safe. We operate within those parameters, if he hasn't, then I say the future is a free for all."

She hurried back to Harry's bedside, Dumbledore hot on her heels. For an old man he was very fast. He grabbed her elbow and spun her round. "Miss Granger that is awfully presumptuous and arrogant of you. Terrible things happen to those who mess with time."

"Terrible things will happen if we don't!" Hermione snapped, tearing herself from his grip. The boys stood back, obscured by the dim light of the cavernous wing. Two dead, one a traitor, another who would know unspeakable grief. The future had to change. For them. She held her wand to Harry's temple and performed a powerful rennervate. 

Harry's eyes blinked open, bleary and unseeing. She leaned forward, knowing just how terrible his eyesight was. "Harry? Can you hear me?"

"'er'ione..." He slurred, trying to fight his way back to the surface. 

"That's right, it's me. Hermione." 

"Miss Granger!"

"Harry, you're safe. Everything is okay you're safe."

"Yo'r 'live..." Harry mumbled, eyes sliding shut again.

Hermione slapped his cheek in short sharp smacks. "Wake up Harry, stay with me, then you can sleep, okay?"

She spied the boys drifting towards them, curious and she held a hand up. "Stay back!" Returning her hand to Harry's cheek, she gave it a gentle stroke and he leaned into her touch, opening his eyes. "Harry, is it done? Is he dead?"

He screwed his face up. "Tom Riddle?" 

"Yes, is Tom Riddle dead?" 

He whimpered and shook his head. "No, no. Not found them all..."

Shit. It was a war of the worlds in her chest. Absolute elation that she was no longer constricted by the rules of time travel, and a total and utter gut wrenching disappointment that Harry hadn't been able to do it. She remembered the locket suddenly and pulled at his t-shirt trying to locate the necklace. Harry groaned and lifted a limp hand. "Destroyed it." He managed to eek out. 

"Really? Hermione breathed. "Well done, Harry! Sleep now, sleep." She cooed and Harry, for the first time in their lives, did as she said. 

Satisfied, she stepped away and huddled with Dumbledore away from Harry's curtain. 

"You see?" She said in a quiet voice, now very much aware of their curious audience edging closer. 

Dumbledore nodded. "I do." He glanced at the teenagers hovering at the fringes of their conversation. "It is dangerous to have them know."

"It's dangerous to obliviate more than once." Hermione reminded him. 

"More than once?" James and Sirius echoed, outraged but shockingly quiet. 

Dumbledore ignored them and drew back with a troubled expression. "I must think on this. Tell them nothing until I return. I mean it, Hermione." 

"Fine." She bit out and watched him go. 

The second the doors closed the boys were on her in an instant. "What the bloody hell is going on?" James hissed, grabbing her wrist. She twisted away from his grasp and crossed her arms. 

"I can't tell you yet. I'm convincing Dumbledore to let you know, but if I can't it's best you don't know too much."

James scoffed and waved a wild hand at Harry's curtains. "That kid looks exactly like me! What the fuck is going on?"

"James-"

"Ease off Prongs." Remus muttered, head bowed. Immediately a squabble ensued between the boys but Remus just lifted his head to look at Hermione. He seemed... not very shocked. 

"You're not from our time, are you?" Remus asked quietly, beneath the din of arguments. She shook her head quietly. "You know me in the future?" She raised a shoulder in non-confirmation. Remus nodded quietly and reached for her. She let him tug her to him and wrapped her arms around his middle. "That's Harry. I see why you always call James 'Harry' when you're drunk."

She laughed into his chest and willed the tears in her eyes to go away. Now was not the time to cry. She had a job to do. Look after Harry, keep the Marauders somewhat calm, and convince Dumbledore that she was right. 

Remus bent down to whisper in her ear, "That's James' son, right?" She froze and did nothing, but it served as confirmation anyway and Remus nodded to himself. The kid was too smart for his own good. When they drew away he pressed a single kiss to her forehead and turned back to his friends. James and Sirius were arguing though their arguments were in agreement, so it was just shouting for their own sake at the moment. Whilst Peter watched them back and forth, like at a tennis match. Following each as they spat and volleyed. 

"Enough!" Hermione said finally. She was too tipsy, too dehydrated, and too emotional for this. "Keep it down will you, you'll wake him." 

James and Sirius took a big breath as if to argue again to she silenced them with a flick of her wand. They were not happy. 

But Hermione couldn't care less. If Dumbledore thought it best to keep Harry in hiding and keep them on this timeline then what was she to do? Steal Harry away once he was healthy and try and find a way back? Dumbledore thought that was impossible. But both she and Harry had been flung back in time, they'd thought that impossible too. 

When James and Sirius had finally calmed down, Hermione released their silencing charms and urged them to stay quiet. "Who is he?" James tried again in an urgent whisper.

"I can't-"

"Fuck Dumbledore, I think I have a right to know!" 

Hermione agreed and said as much. "Please James, I want to tell you. I want to tell you all everything." And it was true. To unburden herself and lay at their feet her entire improbable story. "But we have to wait for Dumbledore."

Dumbledore returned an hour later, brows furrowed and hands clasped behind his back. "Boys, to Madame Pomphrey's office please. You may not leave until I say so. She will be expecting you." The boys began to protest but Dumbledore silenced them with a single look and sent them on their way. Once alone, he turned to Hermione. 

"I believe we need more information. Perhaps Harry has a way to send you both back, if that is the case, that must be our goal."

"Alright." Hermione murmured. Five months ago she never would have believed that she'd feel anything other than relief at the thought of being sent back to her own time. But the seventies now felt like home. Her friends were her family, like none she'd ever known. She knew if she went back, she'd miss them like she'd missed Harry and Ron all these months. Except worse, because she'd know their fates. Her pulse quickened at the thought of finding Remus again, as a thirty eight year old man. Would he still look at her with softness, or would he be hardened by two decades without her. If he remembered her at all, Hermione had no doubt all the Marauder's would be under a strong obliviation charm if she returned to the future. The case study of Newt Scamander and New York flashed in her mind and she paled. There was a way for everyone to forget her. Alone in her memories once more. 

Not that it mattered. Hermione's memories and feelings didn't matter. Not with the threat of Voldemort and in the grand scheme of time itself. She knew that. 

"Madame Pomphrey." Dumbledore called and Pomphrey bustled to Harry's bedside. A displeased look on her face. 

"I strongly advise against this, Albus."

"I understand, Poppy. Please wake him properly."

She huffed and poured several potions down his throat and then muttered rennervate. Harry came to with a gasp and tried to sit up. Hermione pressed him back down until he lay flat, wide eyed and panting at the ceiling. His panicked gaze flickered between Hermione and Pomphrey. 

"Hermione, we have to go. It's not safe here!"

She smoothed his sweaty brow, "It is Harry. I promise it's safe." She spoke in a low comforting voice.

Immediately he was suspicious. Professor Lupin's paranoia had influenced him greatly whilst on the run. "What happened in the tent after Ron left?" He demanded.

She smiled and stroked his hair. "You danced with me to make me smile." She whispered. "It's me, Harry. I promise."

He relaxed and glanced at Poppy who looked between the two of them with unbridled curiosity. A chink in her professional armour.

"You know you can trust Madame Pomphrey." Hermione urged and Harry nodded. Then his gaze flickered to Dumbledore and all blood left his face. 

"Hermione..."

"Shit." She'd forgotten. In all their panic she'd forgotten that Dumbledore was long dead in their time. "Uh..." She glanced at the headmaster in panic. "Can you give us a moment?" 

He pursed his lips but nodded, disappearing behind the curtain to no doubt eavesdrop. 

Returning her gaze to Harry, she continued stroking his brow much like her mother had done to her as a child. "It's alright."

"Dumbledore's alive."

"Yes."

"No he's not." Harry blurted, struggling to sit up again. His hands searched frantically for his wand, patting at the mattress. 

She stilled them and held them tight. "No he's not. In our time. Harry, we've gone back in time."

His green eyes widened and he glanced about the place, as if to tell if it was really true. Unfortunately there was little difference between Hogwarts in the seventies and the nineties unless one looked at the students. Of which there were none in the hospital wing. "I don't understand."

Damn. That probably meant he hadn't secured a time turner or another time device. Though, it was possible he was disorientated still. Hermione had been so out of it she thought she was dead for a good week. 

"Harry, witches and wizards touched by time, like we were in third year, are susceptible to accidents like this. I was pulled back in time when I tried to find you after you-" 

His face grew pained and he grasped at her, scratching her wrists until he gripped her hands. "I'm sorry, Hermione! I'm so sorry! I never meant-" He continued babbling, the heart monitor in the diagnostics spell began to jump and glow bright red. 

"I will put him under if he cannot calm down." Pomphrey warned. 

Nodding, Hermione quickly shushed Harry and stroked his hair until he calmed. "It's okay, Harry. Everything's alright."

"It was that bloody locket, I didn't mean to-"

"I know, Harry, I know." Hermione cooed. Harry had never looked so distressed in all the time she'd known him. Which was saying something considering the life they'd led. "I know it was the locket. I know."

He relaxed and wiped roughly at his cheeks, a hateful expression on his face. He always had hated to cry. 

"Are you certain?" He whispered and she assumed he meant about the time accident. 

"Yes. It's currently January in 1979."

His eyes widened as he worked it out. "My parents... Sirius!"

"They're here. They're all here." She whispered, stroking his hair in a steady soothing rhythm, more for herself at this point. This was just one big mess. 

Harry struggled to speak for several moments and looked up at her, "You look different." 

She laughed, not expecting him to say that. "Yes, I do." 

"Thinner." 

She rolled her eyes, "It's been a stressful time." 

"Happier..." He mumbled, almost confused. 

"How long was I gone, Harry?"

He bit his lip and calculated, "Three weeks."

Her brows shot up. Time was indeed a strange and cruel mistress. 

"Wow. Okay." She stilled her hands and drew a chair beneath her. "I've been here almost six months."

Next it was Harry's turn to look surprised. They stared at one another for a long time. "How?" He began and she shook her head. 

"Later, first Dumbledore wants to talk to you."

He nodded and she raised her voice to call Dumbledore back. He appeared not a moment later and approached the bed carefully. 

"Mr. Potter. It's is an unexpected pleasure to meet you." He said kindly. That twinkle back in his eye. Harry relaxed almost instantaneously and gripped Dumbledore's outstretched hand.

"It's good to see you again, Professor."

"Ah, yes. I thought I had gotten used to such a confusion of timelines with Miss Granger, but I confess, it is just as strange now as back in September."

Harry chuckled and Hermione fought the urge to roll her eyes. 

Dumbledore grew serious, "Do you remember how you got here, Mr. Potter."

"Call me Harry, please." Harry said, sounding a lot younger. He cleared his throat and shrugged, bunching the pillow around his shoulders. "I was playing with the deluminator you gifted Ron, uh our friend, and all of a sudden I heard Hermione's voice."

"Hang on," Hermione interrupted, "How did you get Ron's deluminator?"

Harry grinned, "He came back. About a week after you left. Said the deluminator just began shrieking at him and when he opened it a ball of light appeared and went into his chest. Then he found me. I thought we could use it to find you." Dumbledore made an interested noise and motioned for him to carry on. "So we both tried. Almost every hour of the day when we weren't searching or finding food or moving location. We took it in turns but there was nothing. Hermione... we thought you were dead." Harry's eyes filled with tears and he blinked until they cleared. "But I thought perhaps we just needed to keep trying. Then I heard something. It sounded like ABBA or something, it was really weird. So I clicked it and opened it and a ball of light went into my chest. Then I woke up here."

"Bloody hell." Hermione breathed and Harry's lips quirked. "Where is Ron?" She asked quickly as Dumbledore took his time digesting this information. 

Harry looked crestfallen. "I don't know. He was gathering mushrooms for dinner."

They clasped one another's hands, united in grief. Poor Ron, he'd be going out of his mind with worry. But he would find his family and be okay. Hopefully.

Hermione and Harry chatted idly, holding onto one another like the other would be ripped away at a moment's notice. Dumbledore sat on a creaky chair opposite, deep in thought. Finally he lifted his head and addressed them both. "Tell me of the future." 

A jolt of shock coursed through Hermione's chest. Dumbledore had been adamant.

"Why?"

"I need more information. To break willingly from a timeline is a serious matter, Miss Granger. To decide on mere whim and scant information would be foolish." It felt like a reprimand and she shuffled in her seat. 

"Alright," Hermione turned to Harry who looked absolutely exhausted, his lids sliding in and out of consciousness. "Try and stay awake Harry, tell me if I miss anything Dumbledore ought to know." He nodded and squeezed her hand. 

So she told him. She spoke of everything from Professor Quirrell and Voldemort, the Chamber of Secrets, Remus and Sirius' role in Harry's life, the Triwizard tournament and Voldemort's return to a physical body. Peter's betrayal. Dumbledore's Army and the sands of opinion shifting. The murders, the Daily Prophet's propaganda. the Ministry under Fudge. She spoke of Voldemort's rise to power and Dumbledore's own death. Dumbledore's lessons for Harry in sixth year. Harry took over then, detailing the Horcruxes in a way Hermione never could. Finally they ended with their time on the run and it was time for Harry to take over. 

"When Ron came back, well I'd gone in a frozen lake to get to the sword of Gryffindor and was drowning because I forgot to take the bloody horcrux off. Anyway, Ron found me and pulled me out, saved my life he did. Then Ron stabbed the locket and it showed him his worst nightmares, it was awful. I thought Ron was going to turn on me there and then, but he stabbed it. Destroyed it. After that it felt like maybe we really could do it. Find all the Horcruxes and destroy them." He looked at Hermione, "We knew we couldn't do it without you. So we tried to find you. We really did."

She cradled his stubbled cheek in her palm and smiled. "I know, Harry. I know." 

Dumbledore grew quiet once more, leaning back in thought. He was quiet for so long Harry slipped back into sleep. Finally he sat up straight and shook Harry awake. "Harry, where is the deluminator?"

Harry winced and shrugged, "I've no idea. I assume in the forbidden forest if it's not in my pockets." He searched under the covers fumbling in his pockets and only came back with one of Hermione's hair ties. A little bewildered, he handed it to her. 

"I shall go and search for it at once. This could be your ticket home." Dumbledore twinkled seriously and stood to exit.

"Sir!" Hermione jogged after him, past four faces pressed against the windows of Pomphrey's office. "What about them?"

Dumbledore glanced to the Marauders who stared him down, unflinching. "They shall have to wait a little longer. Perhaps you would be so kind as to see if they need a bedpan whilst locked away." 

The boys did not need a bedpan, much to their outrage, and bombarded Hermione with questions. She shushed them and sent a helpless look to Pomphrey who merely clicked her tongue and turned away. The woman was the definition of 'not my monkey, not my circus.' 

"Look you just have to wait a little while longer okay. I promise!" She was in no position to make such promises but it seemed to quell them well enough. She returned to Harry's bedside and monitored him while he slept. Three hours later Dumbledore returned. 

He shook his head and ran a hand down his tired face. "I found remnants. It was destroyed by such intense magic, I think."

"Well you have another one, yours." Hermione pointed out and Dumbledore smiled. 

"I do not. I have not invented it yet, dear." 

Oh. 

He inhaled and smiled, "But I will. Reverse engineer, as they say." 

She stared at the fragments in his hands and wondered how long it would take him. He would be working off of Harry's descriptions and the boy had never taken to technical magic, largely relying on instinct and feeling. 

"Sir, the boys." She glanced to Pomphrey's office. 

Dumbledore sighed. "Yes. It may be time to illuminate them."

Finally. She tried not to look too pleased and waited patiently for Dumbledore's plan. But he merely smiled and gestured towards the office. "Go, I shall be having a brandy with Poppy. Well deserved, I think."

"What?!" 

He chuckled and twinkled and turned to leave. "Send a patronus when you have spoken to them and explained, I shall explain our next steps." With that he disappeared into Pomphrey's private quarters. 

Walking slowly to the office, Hermione steeled her frayed nerves. How the ever living fuck was she meant to do this?! What was Dumbledore thinking, leaving this sort of responsibility to an eighteen year old? The door opened and the boys looked at her expectantly.

"Can we know now?" James bit out.

"Yes." She breathed, finding Remus' hand immediately. She needed the support. He squeezed and waited patiently. 

"I'm not sure where to start..." She glanced at Remus. He gave her a reassuring nod and so she started. She explained, with difficulty for they kept interrupting until she put a silencing charm on them again, that she was from the future and that boy was too. She said she'd been pulled back through time when they got separated and had been trying to keep a low profile since. It was then that she released the silencing charm. 

"Do you know us in the future?" James demanded.

She wet her lips. "Remus was actually mine and Harry's professor in our third year."

"Wait what?" It was the first time Remus had spoken. She ignored him and pressed on. 

"And I spent an entire summer at Grimmauld Place with Sirius before fifth year."

Sirius looked more shocked by the fact that he lived at his childhood home than anything else she'd said. 

"Sirius is.. was, will be Harry's godfather. Sorry, it's hard to know which tense to use." The boy straightened, peering through the windows of the office with interest. 

"James is his father." 

Most seventeen year old boys don't react well to the news that they've become a father under sudden and unexpected circumstances. Let alone that their child is actually their age and a time anomaly. He collapsed into a nearby chair, steadied by Sirius and Peter. 

"I'm a dad?"

Hermione frowned. "No, not yet."

James didn't seem to hear her and stared wide eyed at the floor, his eyes glassy and unseeing. Everyone stayed quiet for several moments, waiting to see if he would freak out or worse, cry. Eventually he made a choked sound and then slapped his knees to stand up. "Right. Okay. Go on."

Thrown for a second, Hermione looked to Sirius for reassurance. He knew James best and would know if it was okay to continue. The boy nodded grimly and so she continued. 

"Look, it's incredibly disorientating waking up in the past, I mean I thought I'd died so please be patient in terms of meeting him."

"We can do that." Remus said quietly, not so much a reassurance but an urging to his friends who practically buzzed with impatience. 

"Hang on," Peter blinked. "Why would you think you'd died?"

She licked her lips nervously and looked for Dumbledore. But he was holed up with Madame Pomphrey, no doubt securing her silence. "Uh, no reason."

Suddenly the towering form of Sirius Black crowded her and she backed up into Remus' hard chest. 

"Tell the truth kitten, you're lying about something." 

A hand shot out to Sirius' chest, scarred and tan. "Back off, Pads." Remus' chest rumbled against her back and she looked up between the two boys. She should perhaps not be enjoying this stand off as much as her prickly skin and swooping stomach suggested. 

Worrying at her lip, she weighed her options. The future had changed and until they could find a way back it would remain changed. Instead of leaving Voldemort without a prophesied enemy, they would re-centre the fight to this decade. Hermione would help Harry hunt down Horcruxes, this time with the helpful aid of Albus Dumbledore and they could save everyone. A new Harry would grow up with two loving parents. A new Hermione might grow up without prejudice. Her friends would live. If Albus didn't like it, he should have supervised her. 

"Okay fine. But everyone sit down. This won't be pretty." 

Gathered in a small circle under the waning candlelight of Pomphrey's cluttered office, Hermione told them everything. She held nothing back despite the tears, arguments, shouting, and screaming that ensued. 

"YOU SOLD US OUT TO VOLDEMORT?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" James screamed at a cowering Peter, who gaped and cowered utterly terrified.

"I-I-I w-would n-never!" He stammered, hands over his head. 

It took Hermione several minutes to calm them all down. Only to then move on with the story.

"YOU TRAITOROUS LITTLE FUCKING RAT! YOU FRAMED ME FOR MASS MURDER AND MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND'S MURDER?!" Sirius yelled, wand stabbing into Peter's throat. Hermione had to disarm him whilst Remus spelled him into a body bind. 

It took considerably longer to calm the situation back down. She was starting to see why Dumbledore had given her the job. 

Poor Peter was utterly grief stricken and horrified beyond measure when the full extent of his betrayal was revealed. Rocking back and forth and blubbering like a little child, he clutched his own arms and begged Hermione to take it all back. "Why? Why would I do that?!"

She shrugged, "I don't know. I wanted to find out. I've been watching you all year, trying to work out what will happen to turn you. I can't figure it out, not with how you are now."

Peter sniffed and looked to Harry, lying fast asleep across the wing. "Does he know why?"

She shifted, "No. And I don't think it's a good idea for you to meet him until I've prepped him properly. He very much wants to kill you." Peter whimpered and sank to his seat. She turned to Sirius and carried on the story. Detailing his time as Padfoot on the run and hiding in a cave. 

"I know that cave," He whispered, "That's where we got our dew for the animagus transformation. 

She told him of his isolation at Grimmauld and his relationship with Harry. "You, or our Sirius, was the closest thing Harry ever had to a father. He loved you, or our Sirius, with everything he has. It'll be hard for him to see you, I think."

Sirius looked over to Harry, concern knitting his brows together. Suddenly Hermione was reminded of that exact same expression on her Sirius' face in the summer after Cedric's death. Watching his godson move in numb grief, screaming in his nightmares and waking the whole house. She touched his arm, startling him from his thoughts, and smiled. "He'll be very excited to meet you though." She turned to James, "You too. Though I imagine it'll be very difficult for him."

"No shit." James let out a long breath. "This is fucked." Everyone murmured their agreement and sank down in their chairs. "But, at least I know one thing good..." Everyone turned to look at him. "Lily and I will get married. That's my wife." His grin was so spectacular, so beaming with sunny brightness that everyone basked in it, like spring's first warm day. 

The sun was coming up when she finished her story. A contemplative silence fell over them, filling the room with unspoken thoughts. She glanced at Remus, sprawled on the floor, his back to the leg of the desk, and lost in thought. He noticed her, as he always did, and looked up. "Take a walk with me?" She whispered, and he got to his feet and took her hand. They left the others to their thoughts and ambled around the quiet hospital wing. Neither spoke for what could they say? It was all so unbelievable one could do nothing but believe it. Weak sunlight broke through the clouds and glanced across Harry's bed. He didn't stir, lost to slumber as he was. She walked to his bed and tucked his blankets in. 

"You love him." Remus said quietly. 

"I do. He's like my brother."

They stared down at him for a long while. Watching the steady but quick rise and fall of his breath. At one point Remus slid his hand around hers again and she was glad for it. "You mentioned I have a wife and kid on the way, in the future." He said quietly. Almost too quietly, like he didn't want to even ask. Probably afraid to voice his own curiosities and pull focus from James and Sirius. 

"You do."

"Who is she?" 

Hermione paused. She'd omitted Tonks' name deliberately. This could still come true and she wouldn't stand in Remus' way if he loved her and was destined to be with her. No matter her feelings. "I don't think I should say."

He frowned but didn't push and they settled back into silence. As the Pomphrey emerged from her rooms looking tired, Remus said, "This is why you don't let yourself be with me, right?" She nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on Harry. 

He sighed and rubbed his face before pressing an idle kiss to her temple and stepping away. She watched him slouch back to his friends and silently rejoin them. 

Her patronus to Dumbledore fetched him within five minutes. He strode over, full of vigour and hopefully, a plan. "Good morning." He twinkled. "Boys, if you would join us, away from Mr. Potter if you please." He herded them all to the middle of the bleakly lit room and regarded them. "I have meditated on our predicament and have decided on a course of action." Relief flooded Hermione. "The future has changed from Miss Granger's original timeline. Ideally I will find a way to send them both home to their own time, in case I cannot, we shall use this to our advantage and defeat Voldemort sooner rather than later." 

She tried not to grin, but really, this was what she wanted. 

Dumbledore continued, "Harry shall stay here, safe in the castle under my protection, as such he will attend school and finish his schooling. Given his resemblance to our Mr. Potter, he will enter as your cousin, Harry, and I expect you all to help him adjust to life here. Miss Granger and Harry Potter shall guide me in the destruction of Voldemort. But first, I need you all to swear me a wizard's oath."

They straightened and puffed their chests out, ready to do whatever their general needed. 

"This information revealed tonight must stay with the people in this room. No one else must know. I will also require your oath of fealty to the Order of the Phoenix."

"An unbreakable vow." Sirius suggested, a hard line to his jaw. Peter whimpered. 

"I'm sure that won't be necessary."

"I'd like it." James said, glaring at Peter. 

Dumbledore tilted his head in consideration and to Hermione's dismay agreed. She watched in horror (and many voiced oppositions) as Dumbledore made each boy swear not to reveal anything they'd learned of the future and to never betray the Order of the Phoenix or it's members. When the final bond was sealed, Dumbledore stepped back, pleased. But even she could admit the tension lessened and everyone seemed to stop glaring daggers at Peter. 

She felt sorry for the boy and when Dumbledore ordered them all off to bed, she looped her arm through Peter's. "My experience with a different version of yourself doesn't mean you'll make the same mistakes, Petey." She whispered.

He clenched his jaw and stared at his shoes. "But until today I was the person that would become that. How could I do that? James is like my brother. Lily is my friend. Poor Sirius..."

Hermione shrugged once more, she'd never been able to work out the why of Peter's betrayal and now she never would. 

Chapter Text

Hermione didn't go to bed. Instead she napped on the empty hospital bed beside Harry and kept an eye on him at all times. He didn't disappear through time or leave her alone again though. Instead, he just slept soundly and let Pomphrey's treatment work it's magic. At midday he woke naturally and reached for some water. She helped him drink, urging him to take little sips so as not to make himself sick. Sated, Harry dropped back down to the pillows with an exhausted huff. 

"Was it like this for you? When you went back."

She nodded and settled in her chair. "I was out for a couple of days or so, then had a week to recover after. I thought I was dead because of all the ghosts." She admitted wryly and Harry frowned.

"How the hell do we get out of this? Where the bloody hell is my wand?"

She raised her brows. "You want to leave?" She reached over to the bedside locker and waved her wand over it to unlock it, plucking his wand from inside and handing it to him. He clutched it tight to his chest. Apparently Harry had still been clutching it when Hagrid found him unconscious, as such Madame Pomphrey had confiscated it for the patient's safety. 

He shrugged, "We must right? I doubt meeting my parents and godfather when they're our age would be good time wise."

He had a point. Unfortunately all decisions had been made whilst he was unconscious. She explained this and he sat quietly, digesting all she said. Finally he cleared his throat, fingers fiddling with the hem of the blanket. "So, I can meet my parents?"

She nodded carefully and averted her eyes when Harry began to cry. He hated crying, believed it to be a weakness, and loathed anyone witnessing it. So she sat quietly at his side, letting him regain control. Eventually he calmed and scrubbed at his face. 

"W-what are they like? Do you know them well?"

Hermione had to laugh. Did she know his parents well... they were her closest friends. Lily was like a best friend. In fact, she was Hermione's best friend. Somehow over the past several months Lily Evans had solidified herself in Hermione's affections. "Yes. I do." She smiled softly, "They're utterly fantastic. You're going to love them."

He worried at his lip and began to pull threads out of the blanket. Madame Pomphrey wouldn't be happy but Hermione didn't have it in her to scold. 

"How will we explain... this." He gestured vaguely to his face. Referencing the striking resemblance to his father. 

"James and the rest of the Marauders know everything. They snuck in when you were first brought in and, well it was a whole mess really, but after a lot of discussion Dumbledore decided they could know. Lily doesn't and I'm not sure if she will. It might be a need to know basis." Hermione hated this fact but figured she'd push for Lily's illumination another time. "You'll pose as James' cousin. Dumbledore is talking to Effie and Monty today."

"Effie and Monty?" Harry frowned and it was then that Hermione realised he didn't know who his grandparents were. Her stomach dropped and she did her best to explain. When she finished Harry nodded tightly and pulled more threads from the blanket. It was starting to unravel now. "When can I meet my dad? And Sirius?"

She released a breath and checked her watch. It was almost lunchtime so hopefully the boys had managed to catch a few winks. "I'll ask someone to go fetch them." She promised before turning and asking if he wanted to see Remus too. Harry brightened and nodded. Suddenly his face twisted and he grabbed her wrist. "Not Pettigrew though!"

"No, not Peter. I promise. He understands and will keep away until you're ready, Harry."

"He knows?!" 

She patted his hand until he released her form his grip. "Yes. We'll discuss Peter later. I'll go fetch the others. Be right back." She leaned over to press a swift kiss to his sweaty brow and headed for the doors. There she found a group of second years playing gobstones on the stairs and asked the couple of Gryffindors there to run and fetch the Head Boy. "Tell him to bring Sirius and Remus." They nodded and tore off, feeling very important. 

They waited in nervous silence until the hospital wing doors opened and they looked at the curtains shrouding them from view expectantly. She squeezed Harry's hand and went to meet them. Pulling the curtain shut behind her, she met James first and pulled him into a hug. He looked sick with nerves. 

"I've caught him up. Just be patient with him, yeah?" 

James nodded tightly and glanced back at his friends who hung back. He disappeared behind the curtain and drew it closed behind him. She stood between Remus and Sirius, listening with baited breath. But the two Potter's talked much too quietly. Remus waited patiently, a pillar of stoic support at Hermione's side while Sirius fidgeted at her other. Shuffling his feet and twiddling the rings on his long pale fingers. 

"What's taking so long?" Sirius mumbled, beginning to pace.

She sighed and caught his hand. "Give them time. It's a fucking strange situation."

He snorted at that and squeezed her hand before resuming his pacing. 

Eventually James reappeared and beckoned Sirius and Remus forth. Hermione followed, curious. Slipping behind the curtain, she found Harry sat up in bed and propped up by pillows. He looked as if he'd been crying again but didn't seem distressed. Immediately she released a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. Harry looked at Sirius and Remus wide eyed and then flicked his gaze to her, "This is bloody weird."

She laughed, "I know."

"They're so young."

"We're the same age." Sirius huffed, crossing his arms. He sauntered forward and peered at Harry. "God, you really look exactly like Prongs. Except your eyes-"

"Lily's eyes." Harry said automatically. He'd heard it enough. At this James preened proudly with a stupid grin on his face. Harry settled his gaze back on Sirius and they stared at one another, at a loss for words. Finally he blurted, "You look really weird without tattoos."

Sirius barked with laughter and wheeled round to Hermione, "You didn't say my future self had tattoos! That's fucking amazing." He turned back to Harry, "What were they?"

"Prison tattoos mostly." Harry said awkwardly. 

Sirius' grin faltered but he moved on swiftly, "So... I'm your godfather." Hermione sighed. "Well kiddo-"

"Sirius."

"Shush, kitten, I'm godfathering." He waved his hand flippantly and continued much to Harry's amusement. "Now, let me give you the lay of the land." He launched into an unnecessarily detailed description of the social hierarchies of Hogwarts as well as which witches were worth pursuing and which were too uptight.

"Sirius I swear to fucking god." Hermione ground her teeth and Harry's face whipped to her in shock.

"You swear now?!"

She cleared her throat and ignored the amused looks of the Marauders. "A bit."

"She's got a filthy mouth." Sirius smirked, grey eyes sparkling with mischief. 

"Cut it out, Pads." Remus muttered resting a hand on Hermione's seething back. James simply walloped him around the back of the head.

"Remus." Harry nodded, pleased to see his favourite professor no matter the strange circumstance. Even if their last meeting hadn't gone so well back in the nineties, Harry still held Remus in high esteem. 

"Nice to meet you." Remus replied evenly, curiosity dancing in his pretty hazel eyes. "Hermione said my future self taught you two?"

Harry grinned and nodded, "Yeah, best DADA teacher we ever had, right 'Mione?" Hermione nodded, flushing at the arch in Remus' brow. "You mentored me a lot, taught me how to do the Patronus charm actually."

Remus' brows went sky high. "That's strange, I can barely even do that now. Hermione's been teaching me but..." He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck. After the almost kiss, Sirius' kiss, christmas, the DA, and everything else, their private practice sessions had waned. 

"Well Harry taught me." Hermione explained, "So maybe he can help when he's up and about."

An awkward silence settled and everyone sat in it, unsure what to say next. Predictably, it was Sirius and James to break the tension. They asked Harry if he liked quidditch and when he said that he loved it, well, Hermione lost them all to each other. She took Remus' hand in hers and tugged him away, leaving the three boys to bond. 

She led him from the hospital wing and outside into the courtyard. Frankly she was sick of being cooped up and now that Harry was awake, talking, and not in any imminent danger, she could relax. She cast a warming charm over herself and Remus before taking his hand and basking in the sun shining down on a late Sunday afternoon. Their breath swirled in front of them as they walked in a directionless amble in the freezing cold courtyard. Impressions of their feet, one set long and thin, the other short and petite, left in the frost covered cobbles. 

"We never got a chance to discuss that kiss." Remus said quietly, some time later. She slowed and turned to him. 

"No, we didn't."

"What changed your mind?" He asked, fingers playing with hers. 

She sighed, "My blood alcohol level. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help myself, I just wanted you." She blushed fiercely, "Wanted to see you. Um..." 

He let out a breath of amusement and stepped close, towering over her and taking her hands in a firm grasp. "I wanted you too." He admitted quietly. "Now that everything has changed, can we stop dancing around each other?"

She shifted from foot to foot, unsure what the best course of action was. There was still Tonks and Remus' unborn child to think of. 

He dipped his head low, skating the tip of his nose over hers, "Because I really enjoyed that kiss..." His lips ghosted over her own and her lids fluttered shut of their own accord. "And I really would like to kiss you again."

Everything had changed. And her timeline's Remus didn't get together with Tonks until he was in his mid-thirties. Remus was just seventeen and would no longer live a lonely existence. He would have his friends and family. Perhaps she could have him. It felt forbidden, to want and crave this connection with him and think about giving in. So long had she spent eschewing it, banishing it into a box in her mind labelled NO ENTRY - SERIOUSLY DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT GRANGER! But everything had changed. 

She pressed to her toes and kissed him. It wasn't heady and passionate like last night. It was sweet and tentative, but utterly utterly right. She sighed into the kiss and thread her arms lazily around his shoulders, Remus' hands came to press against her lower back, pressing her into his chest. This felt as easy as breathing. His scent, the one she could lose herself in, wrapped around them and she inhaled deeply, letting her tongue swipe against his. Remus' fingers tightened on her waist and he broke away, stepping back tiny amount. This had been the first kiss with Remus that she'd dreamt off, though their kiss last night would always hold a fond place in her fantasies. 

Their eyes met and twin grins spread goofily across their faces. "Fucking finally." Remus chuckled, dipping down and kissing her again. 

She went back to the tower to shower and change before heading back to see Harry. Thankfully her dorm-mates were nowhere to be seen. She had absolutely no idea how to explain to them the events of last night, her brain fried as it was. Changing into a pair of corduroy flares and a jumper she'd borrowed off of Remus last week, she grabbed a few discarded newspapers and quidditch magazines off of the common room tables and hurried to the hospital wing. Around a corner just before the wing stood Peter Pettigrew. He chewed his nails and paced up and down, an obvious mess. 

"Oh Petey." Hermione sighed and went to him. The moment he saw her he peppered her with questions. 

"Is he alright? Do they all hate me now? Does Harry still want to kill me? Can I go in and see him? Is it too soon?"

She placed a hand on either shoulder and made him breathe, slowly leading him through a slow breathing technique Effie had written about for hysteric patients. When he calmed, she dropped her hands. "I'll talk to Harry, see if he's up to it. Try to be patient though. I know it's not fair, they weren't your actions."

Peter's expression grew stormy, "No, just another version of me."

She patted his shoulder and left him to it. In the hospital wing Harry sat in bed laughing as James and Sirius regaled him with Marauder's stories. She joined quietly, looking around for Remus who had said he'd go back there when they'd finally come up for air. 

"Could never have done it without the cloak though." Sirius pointed out, mid story. James chuckled fondly and extracted the cloak with fondness. 

Harry grazed his fingertips over it with an expression identical to James'. "That thing saved our lives more times than I can count."

"And saved you from countless detentions." Hermione added primly.

"God yeah, Snape almost caught me so many times under this thing."

"Snape? As in Snivellus?" James echoed. Harry glanced up at him and squirmed. Right, Hermione remembered him talking about a memory of Snape's he'd seen where James and Sirius had bullied him. 

"He was our potions master." Hermione supplied quietly before turning to Harry, "He's here by the way. As unpleasant as ever but mostly he just keeps to himself. Mulciber and Avery tend to harass the muggleborns."

Harry's expression darkened. Suddenly he looked up. "Wait, Hermione, R.A.B."

"R.A.B.? That's my brother's initials." Sirius laughed, glancing between them. 

"There's going to be another locket." Hermione cottoned on. And so it started. She turned to Sirius, "Sirius, how old is Regulus?" 

"Fifteen, almost sixteen, why?" 

Hermione and Harry swore in unison. "Get Dumbledore." He insisted and Hermione nodded. They could save one more life. 

"This is preposterous." Sirius barked with derisive laughter, arms folded as he paced back and forth at the foot of Harry's bed. 

"Mr. Black, please." Dumbledore turned back to Harry and nodded for him to go on.

"At some point this year Regulus Black will steal the locket Riddle uses as a horcrux, sacrificing himself." Harry explained, fingers clutching at his blankets. This was killing him, to sit and do nothing when he could be out there fixing things, putting himself in danger. 

"He would never! He's a little fan boy over Lord flipping Voldemort." Sirius insisted, jaw tight. "He's got newspaper articles about the nutter all over his walls."

Hermione and Harry exchanged a look. "But Voldemort will hurt Kreacher."

Sirius scoffed, "So? What does that curmudgeon have to do with it?"

Everything, Hermione wanted to scream. Voldemort's arrogance towards beings he considered less than would lead to his downfall. 

Instead Dumbledore began planning, he stood and paced, stroking his beard in thought. "When do these events happen?"

Harry and Hermione shrugged, they didn't know Regulus' death date, just the age he'd been. It would be soon though. 

"I can get close to him, monitor him. Maybe earn his trust." Hermione volunteered, immediately resulting in Sirius' loud protest. 

"Absolutely not, kitten! He's dangerous and idolises dangerous people. Even as a halfblood you'll be in danger."

Oh, right. "Actually I'm muggleborn." Hermione said dismissively, though it felt so good to finally say it. She was proud of her heritage and hiding it for months had felt like smothering herself. 

"All the more reason not to." 

She ignored him and waited for Dumbledore. He nodded, "Yes. Good idea, Miss Granger. Report his movements and demeanour to me and we shall ensure the younger Mr. Black also lives."

By this point Harry was waning and sleep was pulling him under once more, so Pomphrey shooed everyone away. Dumbledore disappeared with his usual spry way leaving Hermione to accompany James and Sirius back to the tower. 

Too tired for food, Hermione looked longingly up at her dorm stairs before thinking of Remus. She broke away from the boys, who had collapsed on the common room sofa, and went up to their dorm room. Knocking softly, a voice called muffled behind the door. She creaked it open and poked her head inside. Remus was sat on his bed, doing homework. "What are you doing up here?" Hermione asked, wandering in. He smiled upon seeing her and slid his work away. 

"Well Petey needed a friend, he's gone down for dinner now. Plus I needed to finish an essay." She went to his side and he patted the bed before him. Easing down, careful not to jostle his still wet essay, she gave him an inquisitive look. Clicking his tongue, he gave in, "Plus it felt like it was important that Pads and Prongs got their time with Harry."

"You're important too." Hermione insisted, shuffling to face him. 

He smiled and caught her hand, "I'm not his dead dad or dead godfather though. I'm his professor." 

"His mentor." Hermione reminded him. "He'd not be half the wizard he is without our version of you. But I understand what you're saying." She felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him. So she did. Because she finally could. 

Within moments Remus' homework fluttered to the floor forgotten and she pressed him back, bracketing his lap with her thighs. It was instinct kissing him. Everything about it spoke to a low hum in her blood, driving her muscles to act purely on instinct. Hermione was someone who lived in their head and thought their every action through at least five times before acting. But not being with Remus. In fact, Hermione had nothing poking and prodding at her mind, demanding attention. Just the feel of his lips on hers and his body beneath her. 

The door clattered open and two loud voices stopped immediately. "Finally!" James whooped, hands raised in celebration. 

They scrambled away from one another and Hermione wiped her mouth. Sirius stood in the door way, backlit by the bright hallway and glowering at them. A strange emotion flickering in his eyes. 

"C'mon, Pads. Sorry to interrupt lovers." James winked, manhandling Sirius out into the hall and down the stairs. The door shut of its own accord leaving them in dim silence. The moment was gone so she helped him rearrange his essay and headed back to her own dorm for a nap. 

Monday morning came with drizzling rain and three very concerned dorm-mates. The girls had woken Hermione with questions the moment dawn broke and she had to escape to the bathroom in order to shake them off. Why, oh why, had she not discussed how to approach the Harry situation and the girls with Dumbledore last night. Instead, when she returned to the room scrubbed pink and with a towel around her head, she distracted them the best way she knew how. 

"Remus and I kissed."

"WHAT?!" Mary and Lily screeched, dropping their hairbrushes and rushing to her side. Marlene looked up from tying her tie, a smirk to her face. 

"We uh sorted our shit out." Hermione supplied. 

"How? When? What happened?" Lily gushed, "Tell us everything."

Unable to tell them everything, she said they'd taken a walk (true) and decided to stop holding themselves back anymore (also true) because they really liked each other (the most true). "Then we kissed in the courtyard." Hermione smiled.

The girls cooed and squealed. "Anything else?" Marlene asked knowingly. "I saw James and Sirius come down to dinner."

Oh. "How was Sirius?" Hermione asked quietly and Lily groaned. 

"No! Don't worry about him, he'll find someone else to entertain him before long. This is fantastic!" 

And it was. They went down to breakfast and Hermione sat beside Remus, discussing their arithmancy homework and it felt like they were the only two in the world. She didn't see Sirius that morning. 

At lunch she went to visit Harry. Dumbledore and Sirius were at his bedside and deep in discussion. She walked to his bedside, greeting the headmaster politely before casting a diagnostics on Harry. He was doing much better, much to her relief. 

"Hermione, we've been discussing Regulus Black and the locket." Harry filled her in once she'd updated his chart. At her inquisitive look, he continued. "Dumbledore and I will retrieve the locket before Regulus has a chance. He won't be put in any danger."

"You don't know when Voldemort places the locket though. Or the time between it's placement and retrieval."

Dumbledore twinkled and nodded, "Precisely why your offer is so important, Miss Granger. It is paramount that you find out from Mr. Black when these events take place." 

Oh good. A boy's life rested on her shoulders, not to mention a bloody horcrux. "Understood Professor." Hermione mumbled and checked her watch. It was the fifth years study period and she knew where Regulus liked to study. "I'll go to the library now." The sooner she introduced herself the more time it would give Regulus to trust her. To reveal things. 

She turned to leave before spinning back, "Oh! Professor, my dorm-mates are starting to ask questions. You did retrieve me rather conspicuously from a party."

"You went to a party?" Harry asked.

She ignored him. "Lily especially isn't one to let go of a mystery."

Dumbledore gave a sage nod with an almost fond twinkle to his eye. "No she is not. I have contacted James' parents and they are coming this evening to discuss next steps. For now I ask you to distract them." The twinkle intensified, "Perhaps with news of a certain relationship."

The blush spread from her hairline to her toes and she spluttered before turning on her heel and fleeing. As if Dumbledore just referenced the fact he'd caught her mid snog with Remus!

Old parchment, scrolls, and leather bound books greeted Hermione as she entered the library. Weaving amongst the shelves, she made a beeline for where Regulus liked to study. She knew this because like her, he also preferred the library to any other place except the quidditch pitch. Pretending to search for a book, Hermione wandered down the shelves until she came to the little one person table tucked away in an alcove. Predictably, Regulus was there. A thick head of short curly black hair bent over parchment, his pale hand furiously scribbling away in a way she'd never witness from his brother. Searching the shelves above his desk she tried to spy a title that would give her an excuse to talk to him. 

She must have stared for too long because the boy looked up agitated and scowled at her. "Yes?"

"Uh, yeah. I need that book. Yew's Guide to Scandanavian Runes." She pointed above his head. 

He sighed and stood, grabbing the book and handing it to her. Once she'd taken it he turned back around and sat down, back to her. His quill scratched across his parchment, prickling Hermione's skin. This wasn't going well. 

"What are you working on?" She blurted.

Regulus sighed and shuffled, rejecting her even more. "Homework."

"Anything interesting?"

"Yes." He bit out. 

"What is i-"

Regulus turned and fixed her with a cold look, "Is there a point to this incessant chatter or has your friendship with my idiot brother finally rotted your previously intelligent brain?"

Wow. "Maybe I just wanted to talk to you." She sniffed, crossing her arms. 

Regulus narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

Shit. "Because... because you're on your own." She winced at her own quick thinking. A spy she was not. 

Regulus shot her a strange look and packed his things, "Has Dumbledore got you befriending anyone who looks a little lonely? Because whatever my brother has said, I am not lonely." 

"Aren't you?" Hermione pressed. He looked lonely. She hardly ever saw him speak around his friends whenever he was with them. Only Barty Crouch Jr. and Evan Rosier tended to talk while Regulus glowered silently in the middle. His other friends were Snape and the other young death eaters. It didn't sound like a particularly supportive friendship group.

Regulus curled his upper lip and shouldered his bag, "Piss off halfblood." His thin shoulder slammed into hers as he passed and she stumbled into the shelves. 

"Well that went well." 

After lessons Hermione spent some time with Harry before heading to the Great Hall for supper. She found him gingerly trying to get to his feet and not doing a very good job of it.

"Mr. Potter! Get back in bed this instance!" She barked in her best Pomphrey impression. Harry jumped and landed on his bum with a thump, casting a glare over his shoulder at her. "You need to rest, Harry." She added kindly, helping him lift his legs back onto the bed and under the blankets. He huffed and puffed but settled back with a exhausted sigh. 

"I'm bloody bored."

"Good." Hermione said, fluffing his pillow behind his back. "It means you're healing. When you're ready to tear your hair out I'm sure Madame Pomphrey will discharge you."

He grumbled again and folded his skinny arms over his boney chest. Pulling up a chair at his bedside, Hermione cast a muffliato over them and leaned forward. "How are you doing? Really?" 

As always with any type of emotional line of enquiry, Harry wrinkled his nose and looked as if he'd rather make out with a flobberworm than spend a single moment indulging in Hermione's conversation. Thankfully, Hermione was as stubborn as Harry and just held his gaze expectantly. In the way she'd spent seven years training him and Ron to mean that she wasn't going to drop the topic any time soon, so he'd better just get on with it and talk. 

He huffed and shuffled down in bed a little petulantly for a seventeen year old. "I'm fine, Hermione." 

"Good." She said, not believing a word. "So meeting James...?"

Harry shrugged, "Weird. But good." 

Good lord, Hermione thought, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes. 

To her surprise, Harry continued unprompted, chewing at his lip worriedly. "I thought if I ever got the opportunity to talk to my parents I'd have questions. Tell them I love them, that sort of thing. But he didn't raise me. He's not even bloody... I dunno, conceived me yet. James isn't my father." He ran his hand through his hair in such a James-esque manner that Hermione had to bite down a gasp. "But he is. He's my dad. But not. But... fuck, it's all so confusing."

"I know." Hermione soothed, grabbing one of his hands and prying it towards her to hold. He sat stiffly for several moments before relaxing and letting her hold his hand. He even rubbed his thumb over her knuckles a couple of times. 

"I miss Ron." Harry whispered a little while later.

"I do too."

"He's alone."

Something awful cracked through Hermione's chest and she closed her eyes, feeling something hot and wet spill past her lids and slide down her cheeks. Poor Ron. But what could they do? 

"He'll find his family, he'll be okay. Ron is smart." She offered tiredly. Harry looked up and raised a brow, earning a light punch to the shoulder and a laugh from Hermione. "He is! In his own way." 

Harry grinned and nodded, lacing his fingers with hers and squeezing. "He is. He'll be fine. He'll look after Ginny too. They'll all look after each other."

They just had to make the world safe for them. Or for their versions of them that would be growing up soon. Hermione's head hurt again. 

She left for dinner not long after and the moment she spotted Remus all tension bled from her body. She gave him a brilliant smile as she dropped down into the seat beside him.

"Hi." 

"Hi," He smiled, kissing her quickly and turning back to his food. They both noticed a silence at the table and looked up to see the girls, James, and Peter staring at them with varying degrees of cuteness aggression. "Not a word." Remus grumbled, shoving a forkful of meat in his mouth. 

"But you two are adorable." James cooed.

"The actual sweetest." Mary agreed before shuddering, "It's sickening. We have two sickening couples in the group now, Marls." 

Marlene snorted and drained her pumpkin juice. 

"Where's Sirius?" Lily asked, dipping her spoon in her soup. 

A tense silence befell the group. "Uh, visiting a friend in the hospital wing." James said with a meaningful look to Hermione. She smiled, this was good, he and Harry should bond. 

"Oh no, who?"

James floundered but Peter swept in to the rescue, lying with such ease James turned to stare at him, "Some fifth year he shagged." 

Lily accepted this without question the conversation moved on. But Hermione could see the tense line of James' shoulders as he realised just how talented his friend was at lying. 

With dinner done, Hermione took Remus to the hospital wing to do their homework. 

"I can't believe I'm spending time here willingly." He mumbled, swiping his thumb along the back of her hand.

"You're very nice to indulge me." She grinned, leaning up and kissing his cheek. Quick as whip, he turned his face and captured her lips. 

"Well you're very nice." He sighed as if that explained everything. Rolling her eyes, they entered the hospital wing and she dropped his hand. The skin on her neck prickled but she wasn't ready to explain to Harry that she was dating the teenage version of their former professor. Really, the boy had enough to deal with. 

Whilst Remus settled at Harry's bedside and engaged in idle chatter, Hermione quickly did her duties before joining them. 

"Did you speak to Regulus?" Harry asked when she sat down and pulled out her arithmancy homework.

"Yeah," She frowned, "I messed it up. I'll try again though."

Harry nodded, lost in thought. His green eyes flickered to and fro, as if reading his own thoughts. 

They settled into silence with their homework. Hermione and Remus shot some questions back and forth over Harry's prone form before Harry grumbled and told them to go away if they were going to swot out next to him.

"God, Prong's genetics are strong." Remus grumbled as they decamped. She snorted and gathered her homework up. The doors opened and James and Sirius came bounding in, all grins. 

"My boy!" James grinned, rushing to Harry's side. 

"Our boy." Sirius elbowed him before depositing a large amount of sweets in Harry's lap. "These are for you. We didn't know what you liked so we mixed Prongs' favourites and Lily's."

Harry glanced up at them, seemingly at a loss before tucking in. He shouldn't be having sweets, it could make him vomit and who knows what that would do to his recovery. She was about to intervene when a familiar voice sounded from the doors.

"James Fleamont Potter I do hope you're not feeding that poor boy anything that'll make him sick."

James jumped back and whipped round to stare at his parents and Dumbledore striding into the hospital wing. 

"What are you doing here?" He gulped.

Effie smiled and drew him into a warm motherly hug. "Hello darling," She kissed James' cheek, "Hello other darling." and then Sirius'. "Hello third darling." She laughed, turning to Remus and hugging him. She then enveloped Hermione in a warm hug, rubbing her back. "Hello my gorgeous girl, my we have a lot to catch up on." She drew back with an imperious brow raise. A moment later she turned to Harry, "And hello, you must be Harry." 

"Uh, hi." Harry looked utterly out of his depth. 

Monty released his sons from a hug and ambled over to Harry's bedside. "Merlin the Potter seed is strong."

James gagged as Sirius barked with laughter. 

"I'm Monty, your grandfather. It's a joy to meet you, despite the circumstances."

Harry shook Monty's hand slowly, not quite believing his eyes. 

"Just a quick question," Monty said lowly, tugging Harry's hand towards his chest, "What year were you born?"

"1980, why?"

Monty drew back relieved and clapped James' shoulder. "I was afraid James and Lily would be teen parents, nothing wrong with it of course, but better they're a tad older I think." He shot James a reprimanding look regardless causing his son to go bright red.

"Dad..." James squirmed. 

"But all's well that ends well, as they say." Monty chuckled, dropping Harry's hand. "Gosh, you two could be twins." He stared between his son and grandson, both seventeen. The only difference was their build. Where James was muscular and healthy, Harry was emaciated and littered with scars and bruises. 

"Except for his eyes..." Effie smiled wistfully.

"Lily's eyes." Everyone chorused. She chuckled and took a seat at his bedside. "Now then, we've discussed everything with Dumbledore and it's all arranged. You came to us after an untimely death of your other guardians. You lived with explorers, think Newt Scamander-like, and so you have never met James before. But we have adopted you legally and so you will always have a home with us, if you like that is."

Harry nodded, almost too quickly. "Yeah, sounds great." 

Harry's health was steadily improving and Madame Pomphrey said he could attend school at the beginning of next week. So it was decided that he would move into the Marauder's dorm, then during school holidays he would go home to Potter Manor. 

Dumbledore let Effie and Monty explain this all before stepping up, "Now, Harry, we have an important job ahead of us. I shall need your help," He caught Hermione's eye, "Both of you. I'd like to induct you both into the Order, right away."

"Done." Hermione and Harry said immediately while Monty drew himself up. 

"Now hang on Albus, they're just kids."

"They're legally adults, Monty." Dumbledore reminded him. "The others have already sworn their fealty." 

Monty glanced over at his sons and Remus, who all stared back straight backed and proud. "Legally does not mean they're grown." Monty said darkly, "You should have spoken to us first." Hermione silently agreed, they were just kids after all. That being said, she was already an Order member and she could join immediately. That made sense. 

But the matter was done, and there was nothing Effie or Monty could do to stop Harry and Hermione from rejoining an Order they'd been a part of for over a couple of years already. Unlike the first time, they swore a wizard's oath and pledged their wands to the cause of defeating Voldemort. It was hardly necessary, but the symbolism weighed heavy in Hermione's bones.