Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

=====================

“Courier” Subaru Natsuki

=====================

LVL: 20

=====================

STR: 5

PER: 8

END: 10

CHR: 4

INT: 6

AGI: 8

LCK: 6

=====================

Implants:

Hypertrophy Accelerator

Optics Enhancer

Nociception Regulator

Empathy Synthesizer

Logic Co-Processor

Reflex Booster

Probability Calculator

NEMEAN Sub-Dermal Armor

PHOENIX Monocyte Breeder

Implant C-13

Implant M-5

Implant Y-3

Implant Y-7

Big Brained

Cardiac Arrest

Reinforced Spine

=====================

Current Equipment:

NCR Ranger Combat Armor

NCR Ranger Helmet

Medicine Stick

=====================

The Courier’s journey up until this point has been rather strange. After being pulled out of a shallow grave in goodsprings, he hunted Benny to the tops casino, who then fled and was captured by Caesar’s legion. After arriving at the fort, he killed Benny, retrieved the chip, then slaughtered the legionnaires, including Caesar himself.

He activated the supply of RobCo securitrons under the fort, returned the platinum chip to House, and went on a journey to all of the furthest corners of the mojave and beyond. The Sierra Madre, Big MT, even the canyons of Zion, finally, he finds himself at his final challenge. After confronting the Divide, he knows he will have to decide the fate of the mojave…

Having had just a taste of the wind blasted corridors of the Divide, Subaru enters the Hopeville Silo Bunker and begins his descent. Navigating through the various ruined corridors filled with pre-war tech, he eventually encounters something unexpectedly familiar.

“ED-E?”

Inside a charging station appears to be an eyebot, reminiscent of one that he had previously journeyed with. Fiddling with the controls, Subaru releases the eyebot.

“<Music>... RALPHIE… fly far, fly fast!”

“<Excited beeping>”

“What was that sound you played? Some kind of memory glitch?”

“<Confused beeping>”

“No, it wasn’t your boot-up sequence, it was a recording. Something about someone called RALPHIE.”

“[Science 20/35] It could be one of those robo-viruses. You might be contagious - stay away from other computers.”

“<Worried beeping>”

“I could use your help getting out of here. Can you come with me?”

“<Happy beeping>”

[ED-E has given Subaru the Enhanced Sensors perk]

[Wild Wasteland SFX]

Just before Subaru and ED-E begin to leave, a strange voice comes from ED-E’s speakers.

“...ove me… love me… love me… lov<KZT>”

“You alright buddy? I was just joking about the viruses earlier, don’t tell me you actually caught something!”

“<Worried beeping>”

“Well maybe it will just clear up on it’s own… Like a people virus.”

“<Annoyed beeping>”

“Alright, alright, lets see if we can find something for you down here”

With that ED-E and Subaru continue to explore Hopeville Silo Bunker.

Eventually they come across a commissary terminal, which conveniently accepts caps as payment. Subaru uses the opportunity to restock his ammo and medical supplies, and to repair his gear.

After further exploration they manage to restore power to the bunker, unlocking a deeper section of the bunker. [PER: 8] Subaru manages to notice a sentry bot before it notices him and ED-E. Just as the sentry bot turns away from him, he activates V.A.T.S. to get multiple shots off on the sentry bot's weak point with his Medicine Stick. He follows this up with a stick of dynamite into the room before retreating and closing the door behind him.

A comically muffled boom can be heard from behind the door, followed by another boom, the sentry’s fusion core exploding. Peeking his head back into the room, he notes that he has yet another successful decommission of bloodthirsty pre-war robots. Feeling proud, he starts to scavenge the room with ED-E.

“Love me love me love me love me love me love me love me lo<KZT>”

“Yeesh ED-E, that's kinda creepy.”

“<Annoyed beeping>”

Following yet another outburst of love from ED-E, they continue to search the bunker, where Subaru finds a destroyed eyebot. Investigating further he realizes its circuit board is still intact.

“Hey ED-E, I bet if we upgrade you with this circuit board it’ll stop that creepy voice, wanna give it a try?”

“<Excited beeping>”

Subaru proceeds to upgrade ED-E’s circuits.

“Well, how do you feel?”

“<Happy beeping>”

“Well that's good to-”

“LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOV-<KZT>”

[Wild Wasteland SFX]

Cutting off the voice, ED-E erupts into bright light blinding Subaru for a moment. As he blinks the light out of his eyes, he can see that they are now standing/floating in the middle of a town square. A town that looks somewhat similar to the Sierra Madre, but populated with a variety of humans and mutants. A sight that would confu-

“What in the goddamn?”

…

…

…

Chapter Text

=====================

ED-E

=====================

STR: 6

PER: 10

END: 5

CHR: 5

INT: 5

AGI: 7

LCK: 9

=====================

As Subaru continues to get his bearings after being teleported to a strange city…

“Huh? Did the Transportalponder go off or something? But that's not supposed to work indoors?”

A couple nearby bystanders look at the strange man that just appeared in the square. He is covered head to toe in body armor, a mask with red eyes covering his face, mumbling something incomprehensible. To make it more confusing, he is accompanied by an extremely strange looking spirit, and his armor is covered in unknown symbols. They understandably give the stranger a good bit of space.

[PER 8] Noticing the looks of uncertainty and that he is being avoided, Subaru enters a nearby alleyway with ED-E and begins fiddling with the Transportalponder. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to have any signal.

“[Science 20/50] Guess those eggheads at Big Mountain weren't as good at this sci-fi stuff as I thought they were.”

“<Beeps in agreement>”

Checking his pip-boy, he is alarmed to see a lack of map data or radio frequencies.

“What? No map or radio? What a pain in the ass.”

“<Scolding beeping>”

“ED-E I’m not even close to being a kid! It’s fine if I swear, this situation seems like the perfect time to do so.”

“<Reluctant beeping>”

“Alright, let’s get back to the topic at hand here, we clearly aren’t in the Mojave anymore, hell probably not even America. Then I’d at least get a radio signal. Hmm, do you think we’re in Europe? The buildings seem vaguely European, kinda like the Sierra Madre, I think.” Subaru puts his hand to his chin, deep in thought.

“But would the great war really send them back to the stone age? [Medicine 50/25] And while the mutations are pretty extreme, I’d expect more ghouls because of the increased radiation. None of this is adding up.” 

“<Confused beeping>”

“You said it ED-E, give me a couple minutes to think up a game plan here.”

As Subaru and ED-E try to think up a way out of the mess they’ve found themselves in, a certain silver haired half-elf gets her insignia stolen.

After brainstorming Subaru and ED-E find themselves exploring the alleyways of the city, scrounging for any useful information they might be able to find. Of which they found a couple facts.

1: Subaru and ED-E cannot read any of the signs or posters littered about.

2: The people speak Japanese. Luckily, Subaru’s parents taught him enough to converse with the locals, and ED-E has the correct language files.

3: The mutants are called demi humans here, and Subaru is good at being unintentionally extremely rude.

4: It’s difficult to tell where the city is located, the buildings being medieval european, but the people speaking japanese makes it difficult to tell its location.

“Well it’s a start.”

“<Hopeful beeping>”

“Well said ED-E.”

As Subaru and ED-E begin yet another deep, philosophical, and enlightening conversation, three figures step out from the darkness towards the duo. 

The medium one says “If you don’t want to get hurt, cough up whatever you’ve got!”

“[Speech 20/35] Can’t you see that I was just about to have a conversation with my partner here? Go rob someone else.”

“<Affirmative beeping>”

“What the hell! Do you think you can just blow us off?”

“Yeah who the hell does this guy think he is.”

By this point in his life, Subaru has been mugged more times than he can count on his fingers, however he can count the number of times he’s been successfully mugged on his fingers.

Subaru takes a moment to weigh his options “I could just shoot the big and medium muggers, it’d take like 5 seconds with V.A.T.S. But that would also draw a lot of attention to myself, and I don’t think I need that right now, it'd be overkill anyways. alright let’s-”

As Subaru decides how to handle this situation, the perfect distraction appears, as a blonde girl sprints through the alley screaming “Move it! Out of my way!!”

“[PER 8] She appears to have just stolen something, and is quite used to the act of doing so” Subaru notes.

[AGI 8][Melee Weapons 50/50] Not one to waste an opportunity like this, Subaru uses the distraction to rush at the medium mugger and hold Chance’s Knife to his throat. “Thanks for the distraction, random girl!” “<Thankful beeping>”

“What the hell. Get off-” The medium mugger quickly quiets down and locks up when Subaru presses the blade to his throat a little harder.

The blonde girl laughs at the scene unplaying in front of her before saying “No problem, live strong” and dashing past.

The large and small muggers start attempting to calm down the situation.

The large mugger speaks first “Whoa, ok we get the message alright! We won’t mess with you, just let our friend go.”

Subaru pretends to contemplate their words for a moment, before noticing [PER 8] that the one he currently has at knifepoint is attempting to reach for their weapon.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice that?” as the knife to the robber's throat starts to cut skin. “Drop those on the ground, and kick them backwards” The medium one complies. Subaru releases him and collects the knives on the ground. “A bit rusty, but they would get the job done.”

They muggers look at him expectantly. ”Get the hell out of here, I'm tired of y’all wasting my time.” ”<Threatening beep>” As they scurry out of the alley, Subaru can’t help but think that the entire situation was a waste of time. He could have just shot them instead of playing as a hostage taker. Not the kid of course, as Subaru had always felt very uncomfortable with the idea of killing children, even if they had done something to him.

As the muggers just exit the alleyway, a silver haired girl appears and attempts to stop them, but they just continue running away. Undeterred she pushes onwards into the alleyway.

Subaru wouldn’t normally consider himself the kind of guy to believe in love at first sight or even have crushes, given the fact that he's spent the majority of his life fighting for survival in the hellish wastes of greater america, but he felt something in his cold, dead, semi-robotic heart stir once he laid his eyes on the girl.

“Stop! Thief!” Subaru is quickly snapped out of his delusions by a demand from the silver haired girl, as strange lights begin swirling around her.

At the same time, a cat-like creature materializes next to her “Lia wait!”

“What the he-” But Subaru is unable to finish his sentence, as a chunk of ice collides with his skull, knocking him unconscious. 

…

“<Angry beeping>” 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I thought he stole my insignia!”

As Subaru begins to wake up, he hears ED-E scolding someone. After a bit of a struggle to fish though the muck that he calls a brain, he finally remembers what happened. Jolting up from his surprisingly comfortable resting spot and taking on a defensive position, he sees an incredibly strange scene.

[Wild Wasteland] The silver haired girl is repeatedly apologizing to both him and ED-E, as ED-E makes vaguely threatening beeping noises, while the strange cat thing has grown to the size of a human, and is sitting on the stairs. It's likely that the cat put his head in his lap.

“I’m sorry, I was just pickpocketed, and I thought that you were the one who did it, because those people were running away from you, but I realized that you weren't the same person too late, and I-”

Subaru rubs his brow “Jesus Christ, I get it, you’re sorry. You look like you’re in more pain than me. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Not that big of a deal? I could have really hurt you!”

“[Speech 20/25] Look, I’ve sustained so many head injuries at this point that getting beaned on the forehead with an ice cube is barely a drop in the bucket.”

“What? That only makes it worse! What if I could have caused a previous injury to resurface!?”

“He seems pretty sturdy” The cat notes “He’s also saying he’s fine. It’ll be alright.”

“<Begrudged beeping>”

“Sigh, well what's got you so riled up anyways?”

“I just got something very important stolen from me.”

Subaru stifles a chuckle as he begins to comprehend the situation. “You mean the blonde girl with the red eyes, did she just steal your insignia?”

“Yes, do you know her?”

“She seems to be out of her element here, I feel sorry for her. She seems somewhat important as well. Maybe she could have some connections to get me back to America” Subaru thinks before speaking “[Survival 80/50] No, I don’t know who she is, but I happen to have a lot of experience with tracking both people and animals. If you’d like some help.”

“But why would you want to help me? What would you get from that? Especially after I just attacked you.” asks the girl incredulously.

“Because, I’m lost and confused!” Subaru states with pride.

The cat follows up with a question “If you're lost and confused, how can you track down the blonde girl?”

“Even if I don’t know where I am, I do know one thing. People’s behavior stays relatively consistent in different parts of the world. A thief in Europe or Japan isn’t much different from a thief in America.”

“America? Europe? Japan?” a look of confusion spreads across her face. 

The cat shrugs at her before saying. “I think you can just accept his offer. After all, the more shields between you and ruffians, the better.”

“<Defensive beeping>”

“Hey, as long as you don’t hit me with any more ice cubes”

“That was an accident… I suppose we could use the help.”

The newly formed group begins to explore the city to find any leads on the blonde thief. The silver haired girl notes that although they haven’t found any leads yet, the strange man is efficient in his search. Eventually they find themselves at a higher part of the city, trying to scout out the next area they should go to.

“This town is much bigger than the ones I'm used to” states Subaru. “It sure is nice though, the Europeans/Japanese got pretty damn lucky to have almost no radiation after the war.”

The girl responds “It’s the capital of Lugunica, you didn’t even know that, um…”

The cat interjects “That’s right. We haven’t asked your name yet. Should we all introduce ourselves?”

“Alright, I’ll go first. My name is Subaru, and that is ED-E.” “<Happy beeping>”

“And I’m Puck! Nice to meet you!” he says as he flies towards Subaru.

Subaru lightly holds him in one hand, amused by the creature.

The silver haired girl notes “It’s very unusual to see another spirit user. Where are you from?”

“The Mojave Desert, in Nevada, America, I imagine it's pretty far west of here.” Subaru states, proud having survived such a harsh wasteland.

The silver haired girl responds “I’ve never heard of the Mojave, Nevada or a country called America. There is a desert in the west but it’s not called the Mojave…” 

“It’s probably on the next continent over.” he interjects.

“There aren’t any other continents?” she says, confused.

“Huh?” “<Confused beeping>”

“You have no idea where you are, you can’t read, and you have no one who can help you. You might be in an even more precarious position than I am… um Subaru right?”

“But when I look at you this way, you look pretty strong, like you know how to handle yourself” Puck says as he examines Subaru.

“I spent a long time surviving in the wasteland, if I wasn’t tough I’d be dead. There’s a lot of nasty things out there that want to kill you, you know.” 

The silver haired girl gives him a concerned look “well I hope you have an easier time in Lugunica than the Mojave. You look like you just came from a desert.” She can’t make out much about his physical form because of his armor, but she can tell that he’s seen combat before. There's also the strange spirit with him, Eddie doesn't seem to be able to talk, just make strange noises. She also can’t sense any mana in him.

Trying to change the subject from his past Subaru asks “Puck introduced himself, but you haven’t yet, what's your name?”

“My name? I’m just… Satella. I have no family name. You can just call me Satella.”

[PER 8] Subaru notices Puck whisper in Satella’s ear “You have terrible taste.” “She's clearly lying, but why?”

“Alright” Subaru responds, “let's get back to searching then. Since we haven’t found any leads, let's go back to where you were robbed and see if any clues were left behind.”

[Satella has given Subaru the Spiritual perk]

As the group continues their quest to find the missing insignia they eventually come across a lost crying child. They decide to help, but the girl is scared by Satella's appearance. Subaru distracts the girl with a [AGI 8] card trick, asking the girl to choose a card then magically pulling the correct card out of the deck on his first try. Eventually the group reunites the girl with her mother and continue pressing on.

“I’m surprised you agreed to help that child so easily, I didn’t think you would be the kind of person to do that” Satella notes.

“I’ve always had a soft spot for kids, I’ve seen a lot of them get off to a bad start in life and I empathize with that.”

“You are very strange Subaru. You’re not a bad boy, though.”

“Why are you calling me a boy? I’m 20, I think… Actually I could be 19 or 21 too. Either way, you look pretty young yourself.”

Satella’s face darkens before she says “I’m a half elf.”

“[Speech 20/25] Huh? Like from Grognak the Barbarian?”

“<Angry beeping>” ED-E flies into the side of Subaru’s head.

“Ow! What's the matter with you?” “<Irritated beeping>” “That's no reason to hit somebody! I just said the first place I remembered it from.” “<Disappointed beeping>” “Oh yeah? What would you have said to her?” “<Positive beeping>” “...Ok that would have been better.” 

Having lost an argument to the floating sphere, Subaru looks back at Satella “[Speech 20/50] I don’t really care if you're a half-elf. Hell, I traveled with a ghoul named Raul for a while, and he was ugly as hell, nice guy though. Err… that's not say you’re ugly or anything, but I-”

As Subaru flounders through his explanation Satella suddenly stops walking, crouches down and puts her hands on her head. 

“<Disappointed beeping>” “Sorry, that didn’t come out the way I wanted.”

Puck emerges from Satella’s hair before punching Subaru’s mask with the weakest haymaker ever conceived of. 

Half joking, half worried Subaru responds “Hey I said I was sorry!”

“I didn’t hit you out of anger or anything. The opposite, in fact.”

Satella turns back to look at Subaru from her crouched position “Subaru, you’re such a dunderhead!”  

“That may be the nicest insult I've ever received.” 

“Hmph!” Satella stands back up “We need to get back to searching.”

As the group continues onwards they eventually find themselves in a street market.

“This is where my insignia was stolen from me.”

Looking around, Subaru approaches a vendor who would’ve had a good view of the altercation. Approaching the stall Subaru asks “Have you seen a blonde girl with red eyes around here? Really good at pickpocketing?”

The green haired muscular man grumbles “I sell appas here, not information.” pointing a thumb at the produce on display at his stand.

“<Bribe 100 caps> Sure sure, some apples right, how many can I get for this?” as Subaru slides a bag full of jingling caps towards the appa man.

The appa man opens the bag to find an assortment of small circular metal objects, though not the small circular metal objects he was hoping for. “With random garbage, you can’t buy anything. They aren’t called ‘Apples’ either!”

“That’s a good amount of money though?”

“If this is money where you're from, I feel sorry for you. Not sorry enough to give you anything for free though” as the appa man hands the bag back to Subaru.

“Huh, I really thought that would work.”

“Is that money where you’re from Subaru?” asks Satella.

“Yeah, they're called caps, after the great war almost all of the places that could manufacture them were destroyed, so they serve as a pretty stable currency.”

“Oh…” Satella is somewhat saddened to hear of the state of Subaru’s homeland.

Appa man waves them away annoyed “I don’t want a history lesson right now, I want to sell appas, and your friend is scaring away my customers.”

Both Subaru and Satella feel as though the scary one is them.

“Weird Mister!” a young voice comes from a little down the street. The mother and daughter Subaru and Satella helped earlier walk towards them.

The daughter runs up to appa man and gives him a hug. He pats her head “Hey, there’s my girl.”

Appa Man asks “Wait, do you know these broke losers?”

Appa Woman responds “She got lost and they found her.”

Appa Daughter approaches Satella and offers her a hairpin “Here, lady.”

“Please accept it, she wants to thank you in her own way.” comments Appa Woman.

Satella accepts the hairpin “Thank you”

“Well you helped my daughter, so I’ll help you” grumbles Appa Man. He then explains to the group that the blonde girl is a somewhat infamous thief named Felt and she lives in the slums. Thanking him for the information the group sets off yet again, but with a much clearer objective in mind.

Chapter Text

=====================

Puck

=====================

STR: 3

PER: 8

END: 10

MAG: 10

CHR: 6

INT: 8

AGI: 3

LCK: 5

=====================

By mid afternoon Satella, Subaru, Puck, and ED-E find themselves in the slums. Appa Man informed them that the blonde girl, Felt, lives there. Subaru tries to break up the silence.

“These slums kinda remind me of Freeside, though there aren’t any shops or a casino. Oh! Have you ever heard of the Followers of the Apocalypse? Maybe they could give us a hand.”

[PER 8] Satella tenses up a bit at the name. “I haven’t heard of any group called that, what do they do?”

“Well they mostly do charitable work, providing free medical assistance to the injured who can’t afford to see a doctor. They also do research to help people survive in the wasteland.” Subaru explains.

Satella loosens up after the explanation. “Oh, there isn’t a group here that does that…” Somewhat saddened at the lack of a similar group in Lugunica.

“If my life had gone different, I wonder if I’d have joined up with them?” The question that nobody could answer hangs in the air for a moment. “Well, lets focus on finding this Felt girl, maybe we could bribe someone around here for info?”

Puck responds “No one would sell out one of their own, so I don’t think that would work.”

“Really?” Subaru asked, baffled. “Where i’m from you could get information like that pretty easily with just a bottle of cola.”

“Oh…” Satella felt her concern for Subaru’s well-being increase. “It sounds like you had a tough time where you’re from.”

“That isn’t important right now.” Subaru deflects “Let’s focus on finding the girl.”

“In that case, I’ll ask the lesser spirits.”

“Lesser spirits?”

“You have a spirit travelling with you and don’t know what lesser spirits are?” Satella asks, confused.

“ED-E isn’t a spirit, he’s an eyebot!” “<Proud beeping>” 

“I don’t know what an ‘eyebot’ is, but lesser spirits are beings that haven’t become spirits yet. They grow over time, and when they gain strength and self awareness, they become full spirits, like Puck.”

“Though most spirits couldn’t become as cool as me” Puck adds.

Satella begins to commune with the spirits, causing her to begin glowing and small spirits to appear around her.

“[Arcana 1/20][Science 20/25] I guess elves are bioluminescent? And can communicate with other bioluminescent creatures? Radiation sure does weird stuff.”

The glow begins to subside “The spirits pointed me in the direction she went. Follow me.”

Satella leads the group through the slums until close to sunset. Subaru asks a passerby about Felt, and he informs them that she’s probably at the loot house, and that they will have to negotiate for the item back. Subaru considers his options “I could just go in there guns blazing and take it back with force, but I think that would upset Satella, hmm. I also don’t have the proper currency to buy it outright… Aha!” A spark of realization hits Subaru as a plan forms in his mind.

As the group approaches the loothouse Subaru explains his plan to Satella. “We don’t have money but I happen to have some valuable items on me, one that would certainly be worth trading for your insignia.”

“But you’ve already helped me so much! I can’t possibly make you part with an item so valuable.”

“It's not a big deal. I’ve got to get rid of some of the stuff I've been lugging around somewhere anyways” Subaru explains.

“Alright, but I'll find a way to repay you later.”

[PER 8] Subaru hears footsteps and muffled voices inside the house. Knocking on the door, he declares. “[Barter 30/20] Hey, this is the place where I can sell valuable items, right? I’ve got something good here!”

The door swings open revealing a very large old man “Shut yer trap! Whatever you’ve got better be good or I'm throwing you back on the street!” Before leading them into the house.

Eventually the blonde girl comes into view “The guy from the alleyway? The elf girl?! Rom what the hell!”

“This is the lass you robbed?” An irritated look spreads across his face.

“[Barter 30/30] We are just here to trade for the insignia back. [Speech 20/30] We’re not here for vengeance or anything like that.” Subaru struggles to calm the situation. 

“That sounds like what someone seeking vengeance would say!” exclaims Felt.

“I just want my insignia back. Nothing else.” Satella calmly says.

“Hm… lets see what they have and kick 'em out if it’s crap.” Rom reasons.

Felt grumbles “Fine…” 

They sit at the table. Satella hopes that whatever Subaru has to trade is good enough so they won’t have to turn to violence. Everyone watches Subaru in anticipation as he goes through his inventory, before pulling out a 55% durability 9mm pistol and about 50 rounds of ammo. He sets them down on the table. The group stares at it for a moment confused as to what the item placed down on the table is.

“This is a 9mm pistol. A powerful weapon from my homeland.” Subaru explains “It fires these 9mm bullets at your enemies from long distances to cause massive damage. I’ll trade you this and show you how to use it in exchange for the insignia.”

Rom begins to inspect the weapon, pointing the barrel directly at his face, nearly giving Subaru a heart attack.

“Fuuuuuuunny thing about that but, don’t point that end at your face or anyone you don’t want to kill. It's fine now, because I've unloaded it, but make sure to be careful of that in the future.” 

“I’ve never seen anything like this, could you show us a demonstration?” Rom asks. 

“Do you have something I could destroy? And where’s your least favourite section of floor”

Rom shows him a corner section and hands him an appa, where Subaru proceeds to begin fiddling with the gun, loading it and [Repair 80/25] making a one time use suppressor from a can he had in his backpack.

Satella watches closely, curious to learn about her companion’s homeland.

Subaru places the appa on the floor [Guns 100/25] before aiming at an angle that won’t cause shrapnel to hit anyone, and fires.

Those watching jump back in surprise as a somewhat silenced gunshot rings out, as the appa explodes.

Subaru removes the now destroyed silencer and sits back down at the table. “Well, what do you think?”

“I want it!” Felt exclaims starry eyed.

“It would certainly be worth trading for the insignia.” Rom grumbles, irritated that his house had become a firing range.

“Alright! I’ll accept that deal!” “<Happy beeping>” 

“Slow down kid, we still have to wait for the original client… They have the right to make a counter offer.” Rom explains. “They should be here soon.”

“Come on Rom, what could they have that would compete with that?” Felt asks, annoyed.

“It’s alright, I’ll show you how it works while we wait!” Subaru states, happy to find a kindred spirit.

“Subaru, are you sure you should be trading that? Felt seems a little young to be using that.” Satella whispers.

“It’s fine, I learned how to shoot when I was ten” Subaru whispers back.

Subaru proceeds to explain exactly how the pistol works, basic gun safety, how to load it and fire it, as well as disassembling and reassembling it a few times, pointing out some of the different mechanisms. Eventually, while showing Felt and Satella how the hammer works the original client walks in.

Rom begins to greet her before Subaru stands up rapidly, prepared to draw his revolver, Lucky, at any moment. A woman who looks straight out of a playboy magazine has entered the loot house.

“[Survival 80/75] This woman is dangerous. She has a thirst for blood that I've only seen a couple of times from the worst of the worst, but she's hiding it expertly.”

Subaru doesn’t hear Satella asking what's wrong as he focuses entirely on the woman, looking for any twitch, any muscle movement, any attempt to attack. 

His time surviving in the wastes have prepared him for these kinds of situations. Everyone kills in the wasteland, it’s just a fact of life, killing is inevitable if you want to survive. But the real danger is when someone enjoys killing, those people can’t be reasoned with. This woman is one of those people.

“Impressive” The woman speaks “you saw through me instantly.”

At this point the others in the room are confused as to what is happening, believing that the strange man and woman know each other from somewhere.

The woman bows while speaking “Elsa Granhiert, Bowel Hunter”

Subaru replies without moving from his ready stance “Subaru Natsuki, Courier.”

At this point the confusion in the room has turned to fear, as Elsa just declared herself to be an infamous serial killer, indicating what she intends to do. Subaru doesn’t notice this, as Elsa demands all of his focus. 

The two stand there for what feels like an eternity, daring the other to make the first move. As Elsa flexes the muscles in her legs and draws her blade, [Guns 100/100] Subaru draws and fires his revolver hitting his mark. Elsa’s body slumps back against the wall, a hole in her head and her blade clattering against the floor. Subaru begins to breathe again, as he comes back to reality. 

Nobody speaks for a moment, stunned into silence at the speed the fight had concluded. Until Felt makes her awe known “That was awesome! I didn’t think big bro had it in him.” Felt continues to pester Subaru with compliments and questions about how he did that while Subaru humors her.

Satella can't help but think to herself “He didn’t hesitate, because he couldn’t afford to…” Looking between Elsa's corpse and Subaru. That is, until she notices Elsa move. She begins to try to warn Subaru, but is too late.

Subaru is busy talking to Felt about his showdown with Elsa, [PER 8] before he notices a look of fear on Satella’s face. Realizing the danger is not gone, [AGI 8] He quickly pushes Felt out of the way and turns around, only to be meeted with a blade in his belly. Elsa had gotten back up and rushed him with superhuman speed. 

Elsa whispers in his ear “Let me see your beautiful guts.”

He tastes blood in his mouth as he draws Lucky and fires a shot at Elsa point blank, causing her to retreat. She dashes around the room as he shoots 4 more times, hitting twice. As soon as she realizes he’s out of ammo, she dashes in to finish him off, but is intercepted by a wall of ice.

Satella and puck had conjured it to save him. “Don’t forget about us!”

“Satella!” He yells as loud as the pain lets him, “Hold her off for a minute! ED-E! Help Satella”

“What? But you’re-”

“I’ll be fine! I’ve been through worse!”

Subaru begins to rummage in his inventory with one hand, the other on his stomach, struggling to keep his intestines in their rightful place. He eventually finds some Med-X, a staple gun, disinfectant, and a Stimpack.

The clash between Satella, Puck, ED-E and Elsa rages on, both sides almost gaining the upper hand multiple times. Satella, Puck and ED-E have the advantage in sheer magical power and laser blasts, and Elsa has the advantage in speed and bloodlust.

In the chaos Rom tells Felt to go get some help. Felt reluctantly agrees and takes off running.

Subaru injects the Med-X and inspects the wound. [Medicine 50/50] unfortunately some of his intestines have been lacerated, meaning a high chance of infection. If it weren’t for his implants, he would have bled out already. He grabs a chunk of wood shrapnel, and bites into it as he begins to staple his intestines back together.

Eventually Satella and Puck manage to trick Elsa into stepping on an ice shard, which freezes her foot. ED-E hits Elsa with a laser blast, burning her torso. Satella then fires a large blast of ice at her. Elsa rips her foot out of the ice to dodge, leaving it skinless. 

Subaru finishes stapling his intestines back together, and [Medicine 50/75] pours disinfectant directly onto his exposed organs, causing extreme pain.

Satella notices Puck starting to slow down as it gets closer and closer to sunset. Elsa notices as well and prepares to go all out once they slow down a bit more.

[END 10] Subaru pushes through the pain, [Medicine 50/25] staples his belly closed and injects the stimpack. He takes a hit of some jet, equips his Medicine Stick, and hobbles back into the fray.

Just as Puck is forced back into his crystal Subaru emerges from behind the wall of ice firing off a shot that hits Elsa in the shoulder. “Surviving getting shot in the head is my thing! You can’t just steal my thunder like that!”

“You survived getting your belly cut open? How delightful, maybe I’ll keep you as a pet, so I can slice you open again, and again and again!” Elsa declares, seductively licking the knife covered in blood and bile.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Subaru screams, before shooting at her again.

With the addition of the Subaru, Elsa starts getting pushed back more and more, having to dodge more attacks from all sides, and having less and less opportunities to strike back. Subaru feels the pain from the staples in his belly increase as the fight continues “[Medicine 50/30] if I keep fighting like this the staples won’t hold! I have to end this now!”

Sensing an opening, Elsa lunges forwards, not at Subaru or Satella, but ED-E. “I’ve never cut the belly of a spirit before!” The sound of ripping metal echoes through the room as a blade cuts through ED-E’s hull. ED-E crashes to the floor as Elsa backpedals away.

“ED-E!”

“<Pained beeping><Whirring down>”

“YOU BITCH!” Subaru screams.

Injecting a dose of Psycho, Subaru activates V.A.T.S and lines up 4 body shots. Hit, hit, hit, hit, all four shots hit and Elsa goes down for a second time. Subaru collapses to the floor exhausted, high, and in agonizing pain. 

“Subaru!” Satella yells out crouching beside him. Noticing the blood dripping out of his mask, Satella removes his mask and helmet exposing his face to her for the first time. He looked to be in his early 20’s with black hair, and looking angry brown eyes. His most notable features were the scars, one on his cheek, two star shaped ones in the middle of the forehead, and a scar that wrapped around the top of his head like a crown.

“Sorry Satella, I just need a quick nap and I'll be fine.”

“Emilia” She says, beginning to heal her fallen companion.

“Huh?”

“My actual name is Emilia”

“That's… a nice name…” He says, just as he passes out from blood loss.

Shortly after, a red haired man bursts through the door, followed by Felt.

Chapter Text

=====================

Reinhard

=====================

STR: 20

PER: 20

END: 20

MAG: 20

CHR: 20

INT: 20

AGI: 20

LCK: 20

=====================

The situation Reinhard walked in on was a particularly strange one. In one corner of the room lay an unconscious, heavily scarred man being healed by one of the royal candidates. In the other lies the body of the Bowel Hunter, with several wounds that would be fatal for any normal person.

“She's not dead!” Yells the girl, “Stay on guard!”

As if on cue, the Bowel Hunter rises from the floor, assesses the situation, and throws a dagger at the unconscious man. Emilia blocks it with a wall of ice. “Well there's a few too many uninvited guests for my liking, I believe it's time for me to take my leave.” She crashes through a window yelling “Take good care of your bowels for me!”

Those still conscious breathe a sigh of relief, as Felt rushes over to old man Rom to make sure he’s ok. Reinhard takes the opportunity to discuss with Emilia what happened.

“Well… Felt stole my insignia, and while I was trying to chase her down I ran into Subaru” Emilia says, gesturing at the unconscious man. “He offered to help me track her down, and we eventually found her here. We traded for the insignia back, but then the Bowel Hunter showed up. She was the one who originally hired Felt to steal it.” Emilia explains as she finishes stabilizing Subaru.

Reinhard begins to realize how concerning this situation is. It's very possible that this was an attempt to assassinate one of the royal candidates.

“Me and Subaru managed to fight her off, but Subaru got pretty injured.” She says, feeling guilty.

“What shall we do with him? I’d be glad to take him to my home as a guest.”

“No, I’ll take him home with me. It’s the least I can do for the debt I owe him.”

“What will become of the Felt and the old man?”

“Officially, I cannot overlook what they've done. But… I’m off duty today.”

Emilia chuckles, “You’re a bad knight.”

By this point Felt walks over and presents the insignia to Emilia. “This is yours.”

Reinhards eyes widen as he notices the insignia begin to glow. Grabbing Felt’s arm, he states “Sorry, but you have to come with me.”

“That hurts! Let me go!”

Reinhard begins to question Felt about various things, like her name, age and family history.

“I’ll need you to come with me” States Reinhard, before rendering Felt unconscious with a spell.

“Thaw wasn’t very knightly.”

“I was careful not to use too much. Emilia-sama, I will most likely be calling upon you again soon.” He then hands her the insignia.

The old man says, “I know better than to interfere in what you're doing…” as he collects the parts and ammo for the 9mm pistol, “But you should give this to her when she wakes up.” 

Reinhard nods and accepts the items before escorting Emilia back to the Noble district where her carriage is. As soon as they arrive, Reinhard runs off with Felt. Emilia is left alone to explain to Ram where she was all day.

“Emilia-sama, may I ask where you have been all day? And who is this filthy man you’ve brought back?”

“Ehehe… It’s a long story” It would be a very, very long carriage ride back to Roswall’s mansion.

Chapter Text

=====================

Emilia

=====================

STR: 10

PER: 4

END: 6

MAG: 10

CHR: 6

INT: 4

AGI: 8

LCK: 1

=====================

Subaru finds himself in a nice bed. One that could rival the ones at the Lucky 38. Opening his eyes… “I don’t recognize that ceiling.” He finds himself in an unknown room. Wiping his eyes, he begins to recall the events from yesterday. Exploring the Divide, teleporting to a weird city, helping Satella find an insignia, fighting a murderer… “Wait, her name isn’t Satella, it’s Emilia.”

He looks around the room, and sees the helmet he’s grown so accustomed to wearing on his nightstand. Putting it on, he looks around for the rest of his gear, but it’s nowhere to be seen. “Guess I'm just gonna walk around in a helmet and a robe”.

Exiting the room and walking down the hallway [PER 8] Subaru quickly notices that it is repeating endlessly. “I don’t even want to try to deal with this.” he thinks, before returning to the room he was in. But instead of the familiar room on the other side of the door, he’s greeted with a massive library and a fancily dressed child sitting in the middle of the room reading a book. “Guess trouble’s gonna find me no matter what I do.” He sighs as he walks into the room.

“Hey kid, could you tell me where I am exactly?”

“Don’t refer to Betty as a child, it is very rude, in fact.”

“Why? If you’re a kid you’re a kid, there ain’t anything wrong with that. You know, too many kids wanna grow up so quickly, that they miss their childhoods. You should enjoy your time while you’re young.”

“Because Betty is not a child! Are you so profoundly moronic that you are unable to tell that?” Betty pouts.

“Alright, Alright. I’ve heard that put a lot of ways, but that's a new one.”

“Betty’s method of speaking is more refined than that of the brutes you usually converse with, I suppose.”

Subaru shrugs “Hey, you hit the nail on the head. No point in denying it. Though why are you upset with me already? I usually have to do more first to piss someone off. Is it because I got through the weird hallway too quickly?”

Betty’s brow furrows in irritation “That ‘weird hallway’ is advanced yin magic. Not that you would understand that, I suppose”

“[Arcana 1/75] I certainly wouldn’t. What is this place? I’ve never seen this many intact books before.”

“Hmph! It’s Betty’s multi-purpose room, which serves as a library and bedroom. It makes sense that you’ve never seen such a large one, in fact.”

“Aren’t you a little young to be a librarian? It seems like a lot of work for someone your age.”

“Betty is over 400 years old. I doubt you’ve ever met anyone as knowledgeable as me.” Betty brags.

“I dunno, Mr. House was pretty smart, so were, uh, some of the think tank, I guess.”

“You are incomprehensible, I suppose. You arrive at this mansion unconscious, bearing wounds that should have killed you, forcing me to step in to save you. You used small bits of metal to hold yourself together, were under the effects of various unknown substances and your body is full of strange metias. Yet less than a day later you burst into my room acting like a fool.”

“Metias? What, you mean my implants?”

“And you do not even know what metias are...” Betty closes her book and walks over to Subaru. She points to a spot near the wall “Stand here as still as you can.”

“Alright, sure. But what for though-”

Betty places a hand on Subaru’s stomach, he just looks at her confused for a moment, before feeling an agonizing pain in every inch of his body.[END 10] he manages to stay standing though. “Ugh… did you just taze me?”

“I collected the mana from your body, I suppose. It confirmed that you are not an enemy.”

“[Arcana 1/20] Mana? Ugh… Normally kids run around, eating dirt and hitting things with sticks.” Subaru wheezes out.

“Hmph. I already told you not to refer to me as a child.” Betty waits a moment, as if expecting something. “I recommend you return to your room.”

“Ugh, yeah, I feel like I'm about to pass out.” Subaru responds, before limping back into the hallway looking around, and realizing the door he just came out of is the one to his bedroom. Slowly opening the door, he sees that the interior has reverted back to his room. Climbing back into bed, he quickly falls unconscious.

Betty begins to consider the strange encounter she just had with the guest currently staying at Roswaal’s mansion. He immediately saw through her endless hallway, engaged her in a particularly patronizing conversation, and shrugged off all of his mana being drained, which would normally cause the person to pass out on the spot. “A profoundly confusing man, in fact.”

…

“I know that ceiling” waking up yet again Subaru sees a familiar ceiling.

“Oh, he has awakened, Ram.”

“Indeed, he’s awakened, Rem”

Ignoring the voices, Subaru speaks aloud to no one in particular “Ugh… I didn’t drink last night but I still feel hungover. I wonder if I've still got some fixer.”

“My, what a deadbeat thing to say. Did you hear that, Ram?”

“Yes, truly the words of a bum. I heard him, Rem.”

Sitting up, irritated Subaru asks “Who is giving color commentary right when I wake up? At least let me put on a pair of pants first.” As he looks at the source of the voices, he sees two girls, one with pink hair, one with blue hair, obviously twins. They are doing a pose where they look at him holding each other’s hands, wearing maid outfits.

Subaru looks at them, baffled “did you like… rehearse that pose? And the talking in sync thing? What's with the getup?” Subaru takes note of their clothing “They look like they just came out of Gomorrah.”

“Ram, our guest doesn’t seem to have any tact.”

“He clearly lacks any appreciation for courtesy, Rem”

As Subaru just stares at the two, Emilia walks into the room. “Can’t you wake up more peacefully, Subaru?”

“This is the strangest wake up I've ever had, Emilia.”

“Listen to this, Emilia-sama. Ram was just insulted by that man.”

“Please listen to this, Emilia-sama. Rem was shamed by that man.”

Emilia addresses the twin maids “And you two, don’t tease him too much.”

“Yes, Emilia-sama. Ram is very sorry.”

“Yes, Emilia-sama. Rem’s sorry, as well”

“Subaru, are you feeling all right? Does anything feel off?”

“Well, given the fact that I was stabbed, pretty alright. You saved me yesterday, right? Thanks for that.”

“No, I’m the one who should thank you. You barely know me, but you risked your life to save me. It’s only natural I’d heal your wounds after that. I…” Emilia begins to say something, but doesn’t finish. “Ram, Rem, could you please allow me and Subaru to talk privately for a while?”

[PER 8] Rem looks like she is about to say something, but Ram takes her hand, and leads her out of the room.

“Well, what’s on your mind Emilia?”

“I wanted to check in on you. When we were healing you we had to remove your helmet and armor and I saw that you had a concerning number of scars, and in worrying locations. I wanted to make sure you’re alright.” Emilia says, taking on the tone of a concerned parent.

“Sigh, I guess we’d have to talk about this eventually. Who else saw?”

“Beatrice, Ram, Reinhard, and everyone in the loot house.”

“Alright. Most of them are battle wounds.”

“Most?” Emilia asks for elaboration.

“Most. The others were from rather… unpleasant situations I've been through. They’re part of why I wear the mask. The scars tend to scare people a bit.”

“What’s the other reason you wear the mask? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Well, it protects me from those unpleasant situations. Though I’d rather not get into the specifics right now.”

“Well… You don’t have to always wear it around me, if you don’t want to. And if you feel unsafe, I can help in protecting you.”

“I’ll… Keep that in mind.”

“And if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”

“What the hell? Is this girl an actual angel? She seems to be genuinely concerned for my well being. Or is she trying to get me to spill some incriminating info?” Subaru coughs to himself “Can I ask where my belongings are? And ED-E.”

“Subaru, about ED-E… He was very hurt in the fight with Elsa, and No one could figure out how to heal him…”

“He’s an Eyebot, remember? Unless the damage is extreme I should be able to fix him up.”

“Oh that’s wonderful! I was worried that he was dead. Ram and Rem know where ED-E and your things are, I’ll go get them.” Emilia steps into the hall, and returns a minute later with the twin maids.

Ramexplains “Currently your weapons are in storage, and we are planning to repair your damaged armor later today.”

“[Repair 80/50] don’t worry about repairing my armor, I can handle that myself.”

“In that case” Emilia looks at the maids. “Could you lead Subaru to where we’ve stored his things?”

Rem volunteers, “I can lead him to the storage room.” [PER 8] a hint of animosity in her voice.

Rem leads Subaru to a room full of his things. As she watches him [Repair 80] fix up his armor she asks “Why were you so eager to retrieve your weaponry?”

“Well, I’ve been caught with my pants down before. It’s a mistake I don’t plan on repeating.” Subaru responds, while duct taping metal together.

“Vulgar sayings like that aside, Roswaal’s mansion is very safe, you do not have to worry about danger finding you here.”

“Danger can find you anywhere. Who’s Roswaal?”

“Roswaal-sama is the owner of this mansion and Emilia-sama’s sponsor.”

“Sure, but who is he? What does he do?”

“Roswaal-sama is the court magician of the Kingdom of Lugunica.”

“I still can’t believe that you guys got magic, all us Americans got was cancer, ghouls and a lot of mutants.”

“I don’t understand what you are saying.”

Finishing up his armor, he turns his attention to ED-E. “[Repair 80/75] ED-E’s pretty badly damaged… but not irreparable. I should be able to fix him up in about a week.”

“Will he still be alive by then? It normally takes a large amount of mana for spirits to remain corporeal.”

“ED-E isn’t really a spirit… He’s an eyebot. He doesn’t use ‘mana’, he uses electricity.”

“Electricity?” Rem asks, confused.

“It’s like… the energy he uses to function. He has a physical form, but if his flow of electricity is cut off, he becomes inert like this.”

“I see…”

“[Speech 20/50] No, electricity is usually pretty hot.”

“...”

“...”

“That wasn’t a good joke.”

“Well, I’m going to go talk to Emilia. See you later.” 

As Subaru exits the conversation with the grace of a drugged up mole rat, he begins searching for Emilia. Failing to find her in the mansion, Subaru looks in the garden, and he can’t help but admire the foliage for a while. Eventually he finds Emilia in the gazebo.

“Hello, Subaru, are you enjoying the garden?”

“Yeah, you don’t see something like this every day.”

“But I see this garden every time I go outside?”

“I mean it’s very different to where I'm from, it’s so much more vibrant.”

“Where did you say you’re from? The Mojave right?”

“Yep, the Mojave.”

“Where is the Mojave? I don’t think I know where that is.”

“If you show me a map I can point it out.”

At this point in the conversation Puck emerges from his crystal “Hi Subaru! Great morning, isn’t it?”

“Morning. Certainly one of the best I’ve had in a while.”

“Good morning, Puck. Sorry I put you through so much yesterday.”

“Morning, Lia. I almost lost you yesterday. I can never thank Subaru enough. I should do something for him.”

“Heh, I’ll take 20 caps and a nice bottle of whiskey. Wait, you don’t use caps here. Just make it the bottle of whiskey and we’re even.”

“Huh? That’s all?” Emilia asks.

“You telling me I should ask for another bottle?”

Before Emilia can respond the twin maids approach the group, speaking in unison.

“Emilia-sama. Our lord, Roswaal-sama, has returned. Please come inside.”

“That's a bit unsettling” Subaru thinks. Following them, he is led to an extravagant dining room. Betty is standing near the door.

“Hey there ki-, er, Betty, I know we got off on the wrong foot yesterday, but I don’t really have any grudge about it. So, are we cool?”

“At least you are making an effort. Though you should refer to me as Beatrice, not Betty. Other than that, we ‘are cool’, I suppose.”

Emilia and Puck enter the room “Hey, Betty. Haven’t seen you in a couple days. Have you been doing well and staying ladylike?”

At the sight of Puck, Betty’s face lights up. “Bubby! I’ve been waiting for you to come home! Will you stay with me today?”

“Bubby?”

“Sure, no problem. Let’s relax together today.”

Betty twirls around with glee. “Yay!”

Emilia turns to Subaru “Adorable isn’t it? Beatrice is so taken with Puck.”

“Guess she’s more of a kid than she lets on.”

A fancily dressed tall man in clown makeup enters the room. “My, my! How unusual to see you here Beatrice! I’m so happy you decided to join us.”

“Hmph. Betty was only waiting for Bubby!”

Subaru stares at the man for a moment, “[Speech 20/35] Michael Jackson?! Wait no, he’s dead. Is this a ‘The Kings’ situation?”

“Um, Subaru, that man is…”

”Oh, no, it’s quite alright Emilia-sama. I am the lord of this manor, Roswaal L. Mathers, Subaru Natsuki-kun” Roswaal states, getting uncomfortably close to Subaru.

“That makes a lot more sense than being someone who's been dead for hundreds of years.” Subaru shrugs.

The residents of the mansion find their way to their seats, and are served by the maids. They make small talk for a bit, before Roswaal goes on a tirade about the current political climate of Lugunica.

“So the royal family was killed off by a strange disease that only targeted them? Probably biological warfare. There’s also some ‘Royal Selection’ going on to select a new king? Reminds me of the political climate in vegas. Getting all this info at once reminds me of my first encounter with the think tank.” Subaru tunes back into the conversation to hear Roswaal talking about his initial encounter with Emilia.

“It’s very fortunate that you encountered Emilia-sama when you did, I don’t want to think about what would have happened otherwise~.”

“Why is the lord of the mansion addressing her with -sama?”

“It’s only natural to address someone of higher status with due respect, is it not?”

“Huh, so Emilia is…?”

“I am currently a candidate to become the Kingdom of Lugunica’s forty-second ruler.” Emilia declares in an official sounding voice.

“Pftt, make sure you remember me when you’re up in the big leagues.”

“I wouldn’t forget about you even if I became queen. But that’s why I needed this back so badly.” Emilia says, placing the insignia on the table. “This qualifies me as a candidate for the throne.”

“And you lost it!? That’s almost as bad as when I lost the platinum chip!”

“I didn’t lose it! It was stolen from me by a thief!”

“The same thing happened to me! I still lost the chip! What would have happened if you lost that thing?”

“Oh my! If she’d lost it, then there would be no doubt that she can’t be entrusted with the nation’s rule.” Roswaal explains.

“Hey, at least you didn’t have to travel halfway across the country to get it back.” before letting his capitalistic side take over “That means a pretty big reward then right?”

“Yeah. You’ve done me a great service.” Emilia responds.

“You may have any reward you request. Just name your desire~.”

“Have you ever heard of the Mojave? Or America?”

Roswaal shakes his head.

Subaru puts a hand to his chin “I could ask for help getting back to the Mojave… but it doesn’t seem like anybody knows where that is. Do I even want to go back? I already shot Benny, Caesar, and delivered the platinum chip. House and the NCR were trying to get me to side with them. I went around searching for the most interesting places in the Mojave while I was deciding. I could just… stay here. Lugunica is exceptionally beautiful and I haven’t even encountered any radiation yet.”

“Then I’m… Not sure what to ask for honestly.”

“Then I have an offer for you! Would you like to be Emilia-sama’s bodyguard?”

“Huh?”

“I heard you were a major factor in repelling the bowel hunter, so I believe you’d be capable of the job.”

“For how long?”

“As long as you like”

“[Barter 30/25] What’s the pay for such a job as dangerous as protecting a royal selection candidate?”

“I can assure you that you will be compensated quite fairly.”

“Well… alrighty then. I ain’t got anything else going on.”

“Excellent~! Ram, Rem, make preparations for Subaru’s lodging.”

“Yes, Roswaal-sama.” The twin maids respond in unison.

Subaru thinks to himself while eating “It’s not a bad idea to work here for a while. It’ll let me get used to living in Lugunica. While the residents of this mansion are certainly eccentric, I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with loony bin rejects. If things get too absurd I can always just resign and work as a mercenary.”

The meal continues with the participants discussing a variety of mundane topics, whilst Subaru remains uncharacteristically quiet, trying to figure out what he wants to do in this new land. The meal ends, and Ram leads him to his room. Sitting down on the bed, he looks at ED-E on the desk in the room.

“ED-E, what the hell have we gotten ourselves into?”

Chapter Text

=====================

Ram

=====================

STR: 3

PER: 7

END: 4

MAG: 4

CHR: 8

INT: 6

AGI: 3

LCK: 3

=====================

…

…

…

Subaru arrives at The Fort. “No running away this time.” He mutters to himself. There’s tens of legion soldiers between him and Benny. [Guns 100/100] It doesn’t matter to Subaru though, a hail of bullets and a shot of psycho will get you through anything. Netting himself some more battle scars, he makes his way into Caesar's tent, the smell of blood and viscera hanging in the air. The praetorians inside put up much more of a fight, but it’s still not enough. After putting a bullet in Caesar’s brain, he walks up to Benny.

“No more running Benny.”

“God fucking dammit, are you the god damn grim reaper?”

“Yeah.”

A final shot rings out in the now desolate legion camp.

…

…

…

Subaru jolts awake, pulling out his revolver, only to be met with an empty room. “Just a dream, just a dream.” Fixing up his appearance a bit, he sits down at the desk ED-E is sitting on. After a bit of testing yesterday, Subaru figured out that ED-E’s wiring was fried, so he needs to get his hands on some copper wire. The main problem with this is that he hasn’t seen any electronics since arriving in lugunica. Other than that, it’s just a matter of fixing up a couple internal components and putting the external armor back together. “I’ll get you fixed up ED-E, just need a bit of time.”

“*Knock Knock* Hello? Are you awake?”

“Yeah.”

A certain silver haired half elf walks into Subaru’s room.

“Good morning, Subaru.”

“Mornin, Emilia”

“Did you sleep with your helmet on?”

“Yeah, I can’t sleep with it off.”

“Hmm, alright. How is ED-E doing?”

“He’ll be fine, I just need to fix him up a bit, though I do need some copper wire to fix him.”

“Ram or Rem might be able to help you with that.” 

“I’ll ask them at breakfast then, I suppose.”

“Also, I found a map that you could use to show me where you’re from.” Producing a map from her bag. “I looked it over, and there wasn’t any ‘Mojave’ on it”

“Let me see that.” Examining the map, Subaru doesn’t recognize the landmass portrayed on it, he also can’t read any of the writing on it. “[INT 6] Huh, well I don’t recognize this continent. The closest thing I could compare it to is Australia.”

“Australia?”

“Here, let me draw you the world map.” Subaru says, [AGI 8] quickly scribbling a map of earth on a spare piece of paper. “This is North America, South America, Europe, Asia, and Australia. Do you know which one we’re in?”

Emilia’s brow furrows whilst looking at the map “I don’t recognize any of these places. None of them are shaped like the land we’re in.”

“Yet another mystery then, sorry I couldn’t show you where I'm from.”

“It’s alright, I’m sure we’ll figure it out soon. I have to get ready for the day, I’ll see you at breakfast.” Emilia takes her leave.

Subaru stares at the map of the world. “I don’t understand, either Emilia’s map is incorrect, or I’m in a continent that doesn’t exist? I thought that they adopted a new name for the continent or something.”

“Barusu, Barusu!”

Subaru is snapped out of his line of thinking by a certain pink haired maid.

“Huh? What is it?”

“You shouldn’t waste Emilia-sama’s time on matters as nonsensical as this. If you don’t remember where you’re from, figure it out yourself. Emilia-sama has better things to do.”

“That’s fair I guess. Though I think that was something she was more interested in than me.”

“Whether it was your idea or not, you still humored her, Barusu.”

“What’s with the nickname?”

“Since you are no longer a guest at the mansion, It no longer seemed appropriate to refer to you as such.”

“[Speech 20/50] Oh yeah? Well two can play it that way, Mar!”

Ram raises her visible eyebrow, “What?”

Subaru slumps down “It’s a lot harder to do since you have a short name.”

“Breakfast is in 15 minutes, make sure not to miss it, Barusu.”

Subaru cleans up his desk, sorting the various components he was working on into the drawers. He rolls up the maps and puts them into his bag, then fiddles with his pip boy until it’s time for breakfast. A breakfast that proceeds to be not particularly notable. Afterwards, Ram and Rem see Roswaal off for the day, Subaru tagging along out of curiosity.

“Farewell~ I’ll be back by sundown.”

“Safe travels, Roswaal-sama.”

With a loud creak, Roswaal leaves the mansion for the day. 

“That door is creaking pretty loudly, hold on” Subaru says, fiddling with the hinges [Repair 80/20] he quickly adjusts the door to be much quieter. “See? That's much better.”

“Hmm, it seems the Barusu might have a use after all, what do you think Rem?”

“Fixing one door doesn’t make him useful, Ram.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t grade me on my usefulness while I'm standing right in front of you.”

“I have an idea, Rem.”

“What is it Ram?”

They whisper to each other while a grumpy Subaru watches.

“Barusu, follow me, I have a couple things I want you to do.”

“Shouldn’t I be watching Emilia? I was hired to be her bodyguard.”

“Nonsense, Roswaal’s mansion is perfectly safe, so you can help us with a couple things.”

“Alright, fine.”

Ram and Rem proceed to drag Subaru around the mansion, showing him various broken or damaged items, a wobbly table, [Repair 80/25] which Subaru glues a bit of wood to the bottom of. A clogged sink, [Repair 80/40] that Subaru fixes by taking apart the pipes and then putting them back together. A rusted section of fence, [Repair 80/60] which Subaru fixes by cleaning off the rust, and reapplying the paint.

Finally the twins show him to a broken window in a shed behind the mansion. Dozens of glass shards littering the ground.

Subaru puts his fingers to the bridge of his nose “[Repair 80/100] How exactly do you expect me to fix that? Just order a new window pane.”

“Ram, we have found a limit to the things Subaru can fix.”

“Indeed, though he is more skilled than I expected. Now he just needs to work on his other qualities.”

“Alright, I helped you fix up a bunch of random stuff around the mansion, could you do me a favor? I need some copper wire to fix up ED-E.”

“Hmm, that is acceptable. I will order it when we go to the village, Barusu.”

“Alright, thanks Ram.”

“However, since you have shown yourself to be competent in repairing things, I expect you to help whenever things around the mansion break down and you are not fulfilling your bodyguard duties.”

“Sigh… Ok, I’ll help you fix stuff around the mansion, just don’t don’t go around breaking things and expect me to bail you out or something.”

And thus, Subaru became the unofficial handyman of Roswaal’s mansion.

…

After being pulled around the mansion to fix various things, Ram and Rem drag Subaru to the fitting room to get him some new clothes to wear.

“Rem, what do you think of Barusu’s current appearance?”

“He looks as though he has just returned from a war. He should change into a suit and remove that ominous helmet.”

“Sorry, but that’s a nonstarter. If I'm going to be Emilia’s bodyguard I need to be wearing my armor and helmet.”

“Rem, I think Barusu has a point. If Emilia is in danger, him having to change into his armor could waste time.”

“In that case, we should modify his current appearance to be more presentable. Replacing his coat, and pants could suffice.”

“I’d be alright with that, it’s just the armor I don’t want to change.”

“Then we have found a solution. Rem, take his measurements.”

“Stand up as straight as you can.”

“Alright”

Rem takes measurements of his body and dimensions of his coat. She then modifies a butler overcoat and pants to fit over the NCR Ranger armor. 

[Subaru has equipped NCR Ranger armor (Butler)]

Trying them on, Subaru looks at himself in the mirror. Instead of the brown coat and blue pants of the standard NCR Ranger armor, he is now wearing a black and white butler coat over the armor, black pants, and fresh gloves.

“Hey, this looks pretty good!”

“Of course it does Barusu, Rem is very skilled at sewing. Now Barusu will now longer bring shame to the Roswaal estate with his appearance.”

“Thank you for the compliment, sister.”

“So, you think this looks good enough?”

“You now fulfill the minimum standards for appearance required to work here, at least.”

“Look out world! Bodyguard Subaru Natsuki is on the scene!” Subaru exclaims, pointing a finger to the ceiling.

Ram coughs. “Barusu. You should present yourself to Emilia-sama and begin fulfilling your duties as a bodyguard.”

Subaru nods to the twins, before setting off to accompany Emilia.

Chapter Text

=====================

Beatrice

=====================

STR: 1

PER: 7

END: 2

MAG: 10

CHR: 7

INT: 10

AGI: 4

LCK: 3

=====================

Approaching Emilia’s room, Subaru takes a moment to fix up his newly acquired butler uniform, before knocking on the door. Movement can be heard inside, before the door opens, revealing Emilia.

“Oh, hello Subaru. You look nice.”

“[Speech 20/20] Thank you, you look nice as well.”

“Thank you, is there something you need?”

“Since I now have a proper uniform, Ram told me I could begin my bodyguard duties.”

“I see. But I’m not really in any danger right now. I also need to focus on studying for the royal selection.”

“What should I do then?”

“You can work on fixing ED-E or something. Your bodyguard duties will be mostly when I'm outside of the mansion.”

“Huh, well alright then. Let me know if you need me for anything.”

Emilia begins to close the door, but stops. “Subaru, one more thing. I wanted to apologize for telling you that my name was Satella. That was incredibly rude of me.”

“It’s alright Emilia, I’ve given out plenty of fake names in my day.”

Emilia nods before closing the door to go back to studying.

“If I already repaired most of the broken things in the mansion, and Emilia doesn’t need me to protect her right now, what should I do?” Subaru thinks to himself. He begins walking down the hallway, before his eyes subconsciously lock onto a certain door. “It kinda feels like there might be something interesting behind here.”

Opening the door, he’s met with a familiar library. [PER 8] An extremely brief hint of excitement flashes on Beatrice’s face, before returning to a neutral state. 

“Oh, It’s just you, I suppose.”

“Were you expecting someone?”

“It’s none of your concern, in fact. Did you need something? Betty does not like to have her time wasted.”

“Yeah, actually there’s something I could use a hand with.” Subaru says, pulling out a roughly sketched map. “Do you recognize any part of this map?”

Beatrice examines the map for a moment. “If this is a map, it’s in no way accurate, in fact. Betty-” Beatrice pauses for a moment. “Have you been to Kararagi, I suppose?”

“No? I don’t know where that is.” 

“Betty asks because this map is similar to an older style of decorative maps that were somewhat popular during its founding, I suppose. Did you see one of those and recreate it from memory?”

“No, I haven’t seen any other maps like this since I came here.”

“Since you came here? Came here from where?”

“America, more specifically, the Mojave Desert, Nevada.”

Beatrice narrows her eyes “There isn’t any desert named ‘The Mojave’, in fact.”

“Well, even if you haven’t heard of it, it’s where I’m from.”

“Have you heard of the Great Waterfall?”

“No?”

“The Great Waterfall was created when Satella, The Witch of Envy, destroyed half of the world before being sealed away. Beyond the Great Waterfall is believed to be an endless abyss of nothing, in fact.”

Subaru stares at Beatrice for a second, before doubling over laughing “Hahahaha. Oh, that was great Beatrice, you really had me believing for a second.”

Beatrice pouts “Betty is being serious, in fact! The Witch of Envy destroyed half the world, leaving only a chunk for the survivors! Why do you think Emilia gets dirty looks, I suppose?”

“Because there are a lot of dumbass racists? Please tell me you’re joking Beatrice. What, half the world got destroyed so we live on a giant half sphere floating through space? [Science 20/10] If that were true, we’d all be dead already.”

“Betty will not be mocked in her own library, in fact!” Beatrice shouts, before blasting Subaru with a gust of wind, knocking him out of the library, and out of an open window. Having finally removed the nuisance from her library, Beatrice looks at the map Subaru gave her. “There’s no way that man is… no, it's not possible, there has to be some other explanation, in fact.”

[LCK 6] Lucky for Subaru, some bushes break his fall, unluckily, they were just fertilized. After picking himself up and receiving a scolding from Ram for dirtying the clothes he just received. He heads to the bath to clean himself up. He looks around to make sure he is alone, before quickly cleaning his head, before putting his helmet back on and getting in the bath. Finally having a chance to relax, Subaru wants to take his time enjoying it.

“Ahh… now this is the life.”

“Enjoying the amenities Subaru-kun~?”

“God damnit.”

Unfortunately, Subaru’s relaxing bath time has just been put on hold by the eccentric owner of the mansion.

“My, my, how cold~. Unfortunately, this facility is part of my mansion, so I may use it whenever I wish, and I wish to now.”

“Fine, but if you’re gonna get in, get in. You just standing naked at the edge of the bath isn’t something I want to see.”

Roswaal gets into the bath. “Don’t you think you’re being rather rude to your master, Subaru-kun~.”

“Ugh, don’t put it like that, gives me the creeps, reminds me of people I’d rather forget.”

“Oh? What kind of people?”

“Didn’t you just hear me say I’d rather forget them?”

“Well, if you tell me now, I certainly won’t have to ask in the future.”

Subaru stares at him for a moment, before grunting “Fine, but don’t ask again. I won’t be repeating myself.”

“I’ll carefully pay attention to every word~.”

“Caesar’s Legion, that's the group you’re reminding me of.”

“Well you certainly have to give me more than that, I don’t know who that is.”

“[Speech 20/30] Figures. They’re a militant group of slavers that ran rampant in the middle of America. They would attack small towns, tribes, and even cities, forcing the men who could fight into their army, and everyone else into slavery. Those they couldn’t break, or those who fought against them, The Legion would crucify.”

“Crucify?”

“[Speech 20/40] It means they put people up on a big wooden cross. Tied their hands and feet to it. Let them bake in the sun, get pecked at by the birds, no food, no water, just left them up there till they died. If you were lucky, someone would put you out of your misery before the suffering got real bad.”

“Ah, I… See.”

“[Speech 20/50] As for the leader, it's kinda easy to guess who that is. Caesar himself. Not his real name of course, the bastard had to hide behind the name of a historical figure. Well, even with all his legionnaires and his army and his dumbass philosophy, there still was one thing he couldn’t hide from.”

“And that was?” 

“[Speech 20/60] Death. Well, that’s the story of the legion, and why I'm not a fan of the whole ‘Master’ thing. Sure, you’re my boss right now, but you aren’t my master.” Subaru states, getting out of the bath, heading for the changing room.

Entering the men’s room, he is surprised to see Ram holding some clothes. 

“Cover up that sorry thing.”

“Not in the mood, Ram.” Subaru responds, quickly putting on his armor and leaving.

A bit later Roswaal emerges from the bath. Although he was smiling as usual, Ram could tell that there was something off.

“Roswaal-sama, is everything alright?”

“Yes, Ram. It seems there is much more to Subaru-kun than I had initially thought.”

“Did he prove unfit for his duty?”

“No, quite the opposite. Subaru-kun should make a fine bodyguard.” Roswaal smiles a bit too wide.

… 

Subaru returns to his room, and begins to work on ED-E.

“What an annoying situation. Roswaal trying to get information out of me? What the hell. I didn’t want to just say no cause he’s my boss. Sigh… Did I reveal too much?.”

ED-E’s chassis sits on the desk, unresponsive.

“Ugh… What am I doing? It’s not like you can hear me.”

*Knock Knock*

Subaru hears a knocking sound from the door. He sighs, and gets up to open it. Rem greets him from the other side.

“Emilia-sama informed us that you are illiterate, and my sister requested I remedy that.”

“Yeah, I can’t read the text here. But could we do this another night?”

Rem stares at Subaru, saying nothing for an uncomfortable amount of time.

“Ok ok, fine! Don’t stare at me like that.”

[INT 6] Subaru’s tutoring proceeds at a slightly above average rate. Rem’s vast repertoire of skills seems to end at teaching, as she is just slightly above average.

[Subaru has gained the perk: Barely Literate]

“That should be sufficient for tonight. We will continue this tomorrow.”

“Alright, I’m gonna go say goodnight to Beatrice then go to bed.”

“It is somewhat late to open all of the doors in the mansion to say goodnight to Beatrice-sama.”

“Oh no, I don’t have to do that. Here, let me show you.” Subaru says, walking into the hall. He suddenly stops at a door, and opens it, revealing the library. “Goodnight Beatrice!”

“Kya!” Beatrice exclaims, “Don’t barge into Betty’s library like that, I suppose!”

“Sleep tight! Don’t let the bed bugs bite!” Subaru shuts the door. “She’s such a sweet girl, isn’t she?”

[PER 8] A slight smile appears on Rem’s face. “Yes, Beatrice-sama is very kind.”

“Oh? Is that a smile?”

Rem begins to walk away “Goodnight Subaru.”

“Heh, goodnight Rem.”

Subaru returns to his room, and climbs into bed.

Chapter Text

=====================

Rem

=====================

STR: 10

PER: 8

END: 10

MAG: 4

CHR: 3

INT: 5

AGI: 10

LCK: 3

=====================

Over the next couple days, Subaru begins to fall into a routine. Checking the mansion for anything needed to be repaired, helping Ram and Rem with odd jobs, working on ED-E, getting to know the other residents better, then saying goodnight to Beatrice before going to bed.

Subaru’s fourth day at the mansion starts off fairly standard, with him making his rounds and helping with a couple chores. Wandering around during his break, he finds himself standing at the door to Emilia's room, with a somewhat unusual request.

“Alright, Subaru, be calm. She basically already offered to do this. Be cool, be cool.” Subaru thinks to himself, before knocking on her door.

A short time later, Emilia emerges “Hi, Subaru. Did you come to visit me on your break?”

“Haha, yeah I did.” Subaru coughs “Uh, do you remember what we talked about on my first day here? With the whole thing about the helmet?”

A bit of a sad look shows on Emilia’s face “Yeah I do, are you feeling any safer at the mansion now that you’ve gotten used to being here?”

“Yeah, I was just wondering… I was wondering if you would want to share a cup of tea tomorrow? With me not wearing the helmet. In a room in the mansion with no windows.”

Emilia’s usual cheeriness returns to her face “Oh that sounds wonderful Subaru! I’d love to.”

“Really? Well it’s a date then!”

“A date?”

“Err, a date is kinda like when a boy and a girl spend time with each other.”

“Interesting, maybe while we’re on this ‘date’ you can tell me more about some of the slang you use.”

“Yeah, I will. So tomorrow?”

“Yes, I should be available tomorrow.”

“YES! Er… yay, I’ll see you then Emilia!” Subaru says, beginning to walk down the hallway.

“He really is a good boy.”

As Subaru continues making his way down the hallway, he bumps into Roswaal. 

“Oh hey Roswaal.”

“Good morning Subaru-kun~. I was just looking for you. I require your help with something”

“Alright, what do you need?”

“I have some… important matters to discuss with Beatrice-sama, and I was informed that you possess quite the ability to locate her library.”

“Huh, I don’t think Beatrice would be very happy to see him. But he is my boss, and the request doesn’t seem too unreasonable… I’ll make it up to her later.” Subaru weighs his options for a moment before deciding. “Sure, what the heck. Follow me.”

Subaru leads Roswaal down the hall, before abruptly stopping at a door. “Here it is.”

Roswaal opens the door, loudly announcing his presence “Hello Beatrice-sama~. I had a few questions for you.”

“Betty has no time for the likes of you in fact.” Beatrice retorts. 

Beatrice frowns looking at Roswaal, [Per 8] But when she notices Subaru standing behind him, a tinge of betrayal shows on her face. Instantly Subaru feels guilt, but before he can do anything, the clown enters the library, closing the door behind him.

“Shit… She looked a lot more upset than I thought she would. Do those two have more of a history than I thought? I really gotta make it up to her then.” Subaru thinks to himself, before sighing. He makes his way down to the main hall, and sees Ram and Rem moving some crates.

“Hey Ram, Rem. What are yall up to?”

“Barusu. I am helping Rem prepare to go to the village for supplies.”

“Picking up supplies eh? I could help out with that” Subaru offers “A walk would do me good to clear my head.”

“I am capable of transporting all of the goods we require.”

“[STR 5][END 10] Aw come on, I might not be able to lift a crate one handed, but I can go the distance. Besides, it’s gotta be tough hauling all that junk alone. I’ve been told I’m quite skilled at hauling junk.”

“Barusu has a point, I don’t want my dear sister overworking herself.”

“If that is what Ram thinks, then Subaru can accompany me.” Rem replies.

With that, Subaru and Rem set off for the village. Partway through the walk, Subaru can’t help but comment on the view.

“It sure is beautiful here.”

Rem looks around for a moment. “This place does not look particularly beautiful. The mansion’s garden is significantly better than this.”

“The garden is beautiful, yes, but it’s not really natural. Most of the plants there would die if not tended to. But out here?” Subaru gestures around “Life is thriving without any intervention. That’s beautiful to me.”

“I believe we have different definitions of beauty.”

“Maybe so, beauty is subjective after all.”

Subaru and Rem continue to the village in silence, only being interrupted by the occasional noise of the forest.

Arriving at the village, Subaru couldn’t help but notice the stares. His odd appearance coupled with the fact that he arrived with a resident of the mansion scared people off. [Barter 30/50] Subaru tried to assist Rem in haggling with the merchants, but her skill was much higher than his, making him more of a hindrance. Instead, he wandered around the village, looking for potential threats to the mansion. Surprisingly, a little blue haired girl ran up to him, holding a puppy with a bald spot.

“Hey mister, isn’t this puppy cute? Don’t you wanna pet him?” She says, holding up the puppy.

“Aw, he sure is.” Subaru pets the puppy, then it bites him, drawing blood. “OW! Little f-. Little feller bit me.”

Subaru begins to patch up his hand “Be careful with him, he isn’t well trained.”

“But he hasn’t bitten me!”

Subaru sighs “Well, just be careful with him alright?”

“Alright!” 

The little girl runs off to a group of kids, bragging that she got the stranger to pet her puppy. This of course, stoked their interest in the stranger. Before long, Subaru found himself surrounded by kids, asking him to play, to tell stories, and show him bugs. He humored them for a while, until he noticed that Rem was waiting for him. Excusing himself, much to the dismay of the village children, he returns to the mansion with Rem.

…

Arriving at the mansion, the pair are greeted by Ram. “Hello Rem. Did Barusu help with the shopping?”

“He wasn’t very helpful with the purchasing of goods. However he performed better than I expected in transporting them.”

“Aw, thanks Rem.”

“Well, it’s good to hear Barusu wasn’t entirely useless.”

Having completed the trip to the village. Subaru decides to try and make up with Beatrice. Unfortunately, every time he thinks he has the right door, it turns out to be wrong. “Was I just lucky before? No, that's extremely unlikely. That means she’s avoiding me.” Subaru sighs, “I guess she just needs space right now.”

Returning to his room, he works on ED-E for an hour before preparing for bed. Before he sleeps however, he locates the door to Beatrice's library one more time for the day, leaving it closed. “Hey Beatrice, I’m sorry for leading Roswaal to the library. I didn’t think you two had a history. Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Subaru says, before returning to bed.

Subaru sleeps peacefully that night. Peacefully, until he is awoken by a loud beeping noise coming from his left arm. He groggily looks at his pipboy, which is displaying a vitals warning. Waking up a bit more he starts to feel ill. His head feels like a furnace and he can’t stop shaking. He barely takes his helmet off before vomiting on the floor.

“Fuck… Where’s… Antidote…” Subaru rummages through his things, before finding a vial with “Antidote” written on the side. Downing the whole thing, Subaru then injects himself with a stimpack. Unfortunately, these do not remedy his ailment. 

“Shit… it's… it's probably some magic bullshit… gotta find Emilia.”

Subaru makes his way into the hallway, leaning on the wall for support. He makes it about halfway down the hall, [PER 8] Before hearing chains behind him. [AGI 3] Subaru attempts to draw his revolver, but finds his body isn’t moving the way he wants. He had only begun to lift his arm when the heavy iron ball struck. This breaks Subaru’s arm, knocks him to the ground, and causes the gun to go flying. [LCK 6] The impact of the gun hitting the floor causes it to fire.

Subaru looks up at his assailant, and is surprised to see Rem. “Hah… Fuck… Outta all the people who’ve tried to kill me, I didn’t think you’d be the one to pull it off.”

“So this is your true face. Why?”

“Why what? I’m kinda on a fuckin timer here.” Subaru wheezes.

“Why did the Witch's Cult have to come after my sister again?”

“Why? WHY? WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO POISON ME YOU FUCKING PSYCHO. I DON’T-”

Rem flicks her wrist, causing the spiked iron ball to crush Subaru’s left leg.

“ARGH…Hah, hah” Subaru pukes onto the floor.

“Why is the Witch's Cult targeting the Roswaal Estate?” 

“I don’t know… what the fuck… that is… YOU-”

Rem flicks her wrist again, crushing Subaru’s right leg.

“FUCK… Ugh… I don’t… I can’t…” Subaru struggles to form sentences through the pain, as the heat from his fever increases.

“Do not lie to me! One who smells so strongly of the witch could only be a member of the Witch's Cult!”

Rem prepares to strike again, only to dodge a spear made of ice at the last moment.

Subaru barely makes out Emilia stepping into view. 

“DON’T TOUCH HIM.” 

“He is a member of the Witch's Cult Emilia-sama, he is extremely dangerous.”

“NO HE ISN’T! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!”

Emilia continues to scream at Rem, but Subaru can’t keep up with it. Subaru attempts to crawl forward, but cannot produce the strength to do so. He attempts to vomit, but all that’s left is bile. He attempts to breathe, but his lungs feel like lead. 

“No! No No NO! This can’t be happening. I haven’t made up with Beatrice. I haven’t had tea with Emilia.”

One by one, his organs begin to shut down. Intestines, stomach, liver, kidneys, eyes, ears, before finally, his heart stops beating. This only offers a moment’s respite however, as just before nothingness sets in, the implants near his heart begin to work, electrically stimulating dead meat in a futile effort to keep its host alive. 

“Mom, Dad, I’m sorry. I couldn’t protect you. Forgive me. I couldn’t protect anyone. I don’t want this. I don’t want to die.”

The one organ that remains functioning the longest, the most critical one, clings onto life as hard as it can, the last living thing in a tomb of meat and metal, only capable of a single thought.

“I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to die I don’t want to-

Chapter Text

=====================

Roswaal

=====================

STR: 8

PER: 10

END: 6

MAG: 10

CHR: 8

INT: 10

AGI: 8

LCK: 5

=====================

Subaru stumbles forward, nearly losing his balance. Taking note of his surroundings, he sees that he’s on the path to Arlam village. “Wha-” 

“Subaru” A voice from behind addresses him “What are you doing?”

He feels his blood run cold, as his brain finally manages to process memories that don’t belong. The memory of a slow, painful death at the hands of the blue haired maid standing behind him. 

[AGI 8][Guns 100][Frightened] Subaru quickly snaps to face Rem, unholsters Lucky, and fires. The shot impacts a tree, as Rem dodges into the woods. 

“I knew you would drop the facade sooner or later.” Rem states from behind cover.

“That's rich coming from you” Subaru yells into the woods. “you fucking murdered-.” He does not get the opportunity to finish his sentence, as time stops. Trapped in his body, frozen, Subaru can only watch as shadowy hands make their way to him. One comes to his face, putting a finger to his lips, The other then slips between his ribs, and gives his heart a firm squeeze. Just before it pops, the hands dissipate and time resumes. Subaru falls to his knees, gasping for air, only to be met with a spiked iron ball to the face. [END 10] Subaru manages to tank the hit, though it knocks him onto his back. 

“I did not murder anybody.” Rem declares, “It seems your mind is being affected by the miasma. I will put you out of your misery.”

[AGI 8][Guns 100][Very Frightened] Subaru frantically fires off the 5 remaining shots in Lucky at Rem. She once again dodges into the forest, but yelps as a shot hits her in the leg. Scrambling to his feet, he begins to reload Lucky [PER 8][AGI 8], before dodging the ball and chain again. Subaru ducks behind a tree to get a moment to breathe. “I need to calm down, I won’t survive this if I don’t focus.” He then injects some Med-X into his thigh, the Pip-Boy strapped to his wrist giving an addiction notification. “I’ll deal with it later.”

“I knew that the Witch’s Cult would come for me and my sister’s lives sooner or later. I’ve been preparing for this fight for years.” 

“Well I prepared for a few seconds and I’m still gonna kick your ass.” Subaru yells. [PER 8][Survival 80] The leaves rustle unnaturally to Subaru’s left. [Sneak 25] Attempting to get the drop on Rem, Subaru jumps from cover as quickly as possible, as an iron ball rams into his leg with a sickening crunch. Gritting his teeth, he activates V.A.T.S. [Guns 100] and selects 3 shots on the chain, and 1 shot to each of Rem’s legs.

The first shot on the chain misses, but the second and third shots hit, breaking the chain. Both of the shots to the legs hit, causing Rem to collapse onto the ground. A blue aura begins to form around her, before Subaru rushes over, pointing Lucky at her head. “I wouldn't do that if I were you.” the aura begins to dissipate as Rem growls at Subaru.

“You’re not in an enviable position here, and I speak from experience.” Subaru explains “We’re gonna have a little talk so I can figure out what the hell you did to me.”

“I didn’t do anything to you.” Rem mutters.

“You poisoned me, then while I was weak you k-.” Time once again freezes as shadowy hands reach towards Subaru, squeezing his heart just a bit tighter than last time, before time resumes. Subaru staggers a bit, causing his aim to go off of Rem. Taking the opportunity, she launches herself at him, knocking him to the ground. 

They begin to wrestle for the gun [STR 5] with Rem getting on top of him. A glowing horn grows from Rem’s skull as she begins to overpower Subaru. He lets her take the gun, and while she tries to turn it on him, [Melee Weapons 50] he unsheathes Chance's Knife and buries it in her gut. 

Rem drops the gun, putting her hands on Subaru’s throat in a last ditch attempt to crush his windpipe, which causes Subaru to drag the knife through her gut, her intestines spilling onto his stomach. Rem goes limp, as Subaru pushes her off. [Per 8] Rem mutters “Sister…” before her breathing stops. 

Subaru backs away from Rem, wheezing. As he looks down on the injury he inflicted, he can’t help but feel sick, knowing perfectly well how much that injury would hurt. “I didn’t… I thought… I just… It was self defence, right?” Looking at his blood soaked hands and shirt, the gravity of what he had just done began to dawn on him. “I have to leave. I… I can’t go back to the mansion, or the village. I can just run off to somewhere else right? It’d mean leaving ED-E, but… I wouldn’t be able to get him back even if I went to the mansion.”

Subaru takes a deep breath, before beginning to walk towards the woods, he glances back at Rem, the sight of her body etching itself into his mind, before he disappears into the brush.

…

Subaru had been trudging through the woods for most of the day [Survival 80] But he was smart enough to cover up his tracks. He had been attacked by a strange wolf creature a bit ago, but he killed it easily enough. As the sun began to set, he made a small camp.

With nothing to distract him, he was forced to confront his situation. “What the hell happened to me? It was way too real to be a dream or a vision. Rem… she killed me, then I… I came back to life? Earlier in the day too. If I die again…” Subaru’s grip on his revolver tightens “If I die again, could I avoid killing her?” Subaru takes Lucky out of his holster and stares at it for a moment. His hands begin to shake, before he quickly puts the revolver back into the holster, breathing heavily. “It could have been a one time thing, if it doesn’t happen again, I’d just.” Memories of his first death flood his mind, before he shuts them out once again. “It’d mean going through that again for nothing.”

“What were those hands? When I tried to say I died before they stopped me… There’s someone, or something watching me.” Subaru gulped “Whatever it is, it doesn’t want me telling people I died.”

Subaru stares at the fire, for what seems like hours. [PER 8] Before hearing a stick snap to his right. Pulling out his revolver and pointing it in the direction of the noise, he says, “[Survival 80] don’t bother hiding, that was too loud to just be an animal.”

Out of the shadows steps Roswaal. “Fancy seeing you out here Subaru-kun~.” He bows at Subaru, before continuing “You wouldn’t be running from something, would you?”

“[Speech 20/100] I… She tried to kill me, Roswaal.”

“Is that so~? But even if she did-” Roswaal’s face shifts “I cannot overlook you killing one of my staff.” Roswaal snaps his fingers, and forest is set alight, cutting off any possible escape routes. “I’m afraid you’ve given me no choice. Goodbye, Subaru Natsuki” Roswaal says, launching a fireball at Subaru.

Subaru only gets a single shot off before he is engulfed in flames, feeling his skin burning off. He screamed, as every inch of his body cried out in pain. Unfortunately the fire inside Subaru wasn’t brighter than the fire around him, as the fire inside was quickly snuffed.

…

Subaru stumbles forward and looks around. He’s on the path to Arlam Village again.

“Subaru” A voice from behind addresses him once again “What are you doing?”

As he looks back at Rem, the image of her lifeless body flashes through his mind, the feeling of his hands slick with blood. “I feel sick.” Subaru mumbles, before stumbling behind a tree, barely taking off his mask in time to vomit.

“I see… I’ll walk you back to the mansion then.”

“No… No… I can make it back on my own, I just… I need a minute.”

“Hmm… Fine” Rem accepts, before walking away.

Subaru watches her disappear down the forest path, then sighs, sitting below a tree. “I just died again… Incinerated this time. So coming back from death wasn’t a one time thing, and it wasn’t triggered by a specific type of death… Why does Rem hate me? What the hell is miasma?” Subaru racks his brain for answers, but finds none “Let’s just focus on surviving the night… Rem is going to poison my food, so I’ll just skip dinner. She already thinks I’m feeling ill.”

Subaru stands up, before walking back to the mansion.

…

After explaining why he returned early to Ram, Subaru returns to his room, and begins preparations to survive the night. He places cans in front of all the windows, and blocks the door with a dresser.

Eventually he hears a knock on the door, and Emilia’s voice. “Subaru? I heard you weren’t feeling well.”

“Yeah… I’m not sure what. Hopefully it clears up in the morning.”

“Well, I hope you feel better. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“Sure, thanks Emilia.”

After Emilia leaves, he retrieves the last thing he needs from his gear. The Ranger Sequoia, a beast of a revolver that shoots .45-70 Gov’t rounds, a much more powerful cartridge than the .357 rounds that Lucky uses.

Subaru waited, sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. As the sun set, and the night grew long, nothing happened. As the hours passed, it became clear that whatever poison he had been afflicted with before wasn’t affecting him. He breathed a sigh of relief, but remained awake, keeping watch for any potential threats.

Eventually the sun began to rise, as Subaru realized that he had survived the night. Exiting his room, he looks down the hall, and sees it empty. “Hah… didn’t die this time.” Footsteps echo down the hall, looking at their source, he sees Emilia walking towards him with a dour look on her face.

“Good morning Emilia. Is everything alright?”

“Subaru. Come with me.” Emilia grabs Subaru’s hand and begins leading him down the hall.

“Umm… alright? What's going on?”

Before Emilia can respond, wailing sobs echo down the hallway. They pick up the pace, with Emilia leading him to Rem’s room. Inside Ram cries over Rem’s lifeless body, with Roswaal and Beatrice watching. “Is this what happened to Ram last loop?” The thought crosses Subaru’s mind quicker than he can banish it.

“Wha… Why is Rem dead?”

Roswaal answers, in a spiritless tone “It seems she had all of her energy sapped from her. Likely from a curse, rather than a spell. After this happened to one of my precious staff, I seem to be a tiny bit angry.”

“Wait. Is this what killed me the first time? Not poison? That means someone else is targeting the mansion.” Subaru thinks.

“Subaru, do you have any idea what could have happened?” Roswaal asks.

“I… I need information. How do curses work?”

[PER 8] Roswaal looks surprised by the question, though he hides it well.

Beatrice explains, “Curses require physical contact between the shaman placing them and the target, In fact. Then they either activate immediately or activate after a set time. If I had seen she was cursed before it activated, I could have removed it, I suppose.”

Emilia interjects “Subaru, If you know anything, please tell us.”

“[INT 6] She probably got cursed when she went to the village.” 

“So it’s your fault! You were supposed to protect her!” Ram screams at Subaru, shooting wind magic at him. [END 10] Subaru prepares to take the strike, but Beatrice negates the spell before it hits him.

“Ram stop! He didn’t know about curses, he couldn’t have done anything!” Emilia yells at Ram.

“He could have taken the curse in her place! She shouldn’t have died!”

“She’s right… I should’ve died in her place. The only thing that prevented that is this unnatural ability to return from death.” Subaru grimaces under his mask.

“That’s unfa-”

“Unfortunately, she has a point, Emilia-sama. Subaru is employed as a bodyguard for the mansion so it does fall under his responsibilities to put his life on the line to protect the residents.” Roswaal adds “A responsibility he failed to uphold.”

“He never intended to uphold that responsibility! Rem often told me that he smelled like the witch! The Witch’s Cult took our home, my horn, and now my only sister's life!” Ram cries over Rem’s body.

“I don’t believe it. I trust Subaru.” Emilia responds “Subaru, please. if you can save Rem and Ram… please do.”

“I… I’ll see what I can do.”

Subaru exits the room, and makes his way back to his own room, locking the door and removing his helmet. He unholsters the Ranger Sequoia. It’s an ideal weapon for this. Hands shaking, he cocks the revolver and points it on himself [Guns 100] at an angle that guarantees instant death.

“A life for a life. My life, for a chance to save Rem’s.”

Subaru takes a deep breath, and pulls the trigger. There isn’t enough time to process anything before death’s embrace.

Chapter Text

========================================================================

Lucky

========================================================================

A variant of the .357 magnum revolver. It boasts higher damage, durability, and critical strike chance than the standard .357 revolver, as well as gold engravings and a pearl grip with a clubs symbol etched into it. Can be found in the Bison Steve Hotel in Primm.

========================================================================

Subaru is once again on the path to Arlam Village. He sighs before hearing chains, dodging a spiked iron ball at the last second.

“God damn Rem, at least let me talk before you try to kill me!”

Pulling back the ball, Rem responds “Silence cultist! The scent of the witch became much stronger now, I will not allow you to act.”

“[Speech 20/75] How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not a cul-” Subaru is cut off by another attack from Rem. “You know what? Screw this.” [AGI 8][Guns 100] Subaru quickdraws lucky and activates V.A.T.S. targeting the handle of the ball and chain. The shot hits, disarming Rem. 

Rem yelps in pain, before reaching for the handle again.

Subaru fires a shot between Rem and her weapon, causing her to jump back. “If I can disarm you, I could have just shot you in the head and ended the fight already.” Subaru walks between Rem and the ball and chain. “So could you at least hear me out?”

“I will not fall for your tricks, cultist!”

Subaru sighs once more, before tossing his revolver at Rem, and [STR 5] struggling to pick up the ball and chain. She fumbles with it for a second before pointing it at Subaru. “There, now we both have weapons we don’t know how to use.”

“What kind of trick is-”

“Also, you’re holding it wrong, unless you want to burn your thumb, keep it behind the cylinder. You’ve got four shots, so you better use them wisely.”

Rem adjusts her grip, before continuing. “What kind of trick is this?”

“The kind that lets me get a word in without you trying to kill me.”

“What could a cultist say that's worth listening to?”

“Like talking to a brick wall” Subaru mutters under his breath. “Do you know why I did this instead of just shooting you?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m tired.”

Rem pauses for a second “What?”

“I’m tired Rem. Tired of killing.”

Rem scoffs at the idea. “What are you saying? You want to retire from being a cultist?”

“Never was a cultist. Always was a killer, for everything that mattered anyway.”

“You’re just a murderer?”

“A killer and a murderer are two different things. I never murdered anyone, but…” Subaru sighs “I sure as hell killed a lot of people.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Cause the rule of the Wasteland is that it’s either kill or be killed, the strong survive and the weak are culled. I had to sleep with one eye open because you never know when someone’s gonna try to get the drop on you. Most of the people I killed, I had no choice… but I keep thinking about the ones I could have saved. That maybe, just maybe, if I had tried a bit harder I could have spared their lives. If I was just a bit more skilled, or smart, or charismatic, I could’ve solved things without anyone dying.”

Rem continues listening, an unreadable expression on her face.

“Then I got to Lugunica, and hey, it’s not a shithole like home. Sure, you got your street thugs and what not, but at least they're not drug addicted cannibals. The more time I spent here, the more hope I had that I could be different, that I could change, that this world could be a fresh start for me. But Lugunica isn’t really any nicer once you look past the surface, is it?”

“No.” Rem responds “It is not.”

“But despite all that, despite me being a complete stranger, despite me being a gun toting maniac talking what must seem like all sorts of nonsense, there’s one person who actually gave a shit about me. I’d only had old world blues, but now, I have new world hope, hope that I can still change. If you think for a second that I’m going to let harm come to her, you're the maniac.”

Subaru takes a step closer to Rem, offering her the ball and chain. “[Speech 20/20][Poured Heart Out] I promise you, that even if you attack me again, I’ll just kick your ass and set your head back on straight. Now quit being a jackass and let’s go get some appas or whatever the hell you call them here.”

Rem hesitates for a moment, before lowering the gun and swapping weapons with Subaru. “Old world blues… I don’t understand you, but… I’ll tolerate you for now. I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

“Just give me a warning before you try to kill me next time.” Subaru says, before continuing down the path.

…

Arriving at Arlam Village, Subaru begins his investigation. [PER 8][Survival 80] He keeps track of everyone that touches him and Rem, as well as looking for suspicious people. Unfortunately, nothing sticks out to him, as he sits on a bench with Rem.

Rem asks “Are you alright? You look a bit down.”  

“I’m ok, I just didn’t see what I was looking for at the market.”

Before Rem can respond, a blue haired girl approaches them, puppy in hand. “Hey mister, miss, isn’t my puppy super cute?”

“[Survival 80] Yeah, he is. Is he a wolf pup from the forest? He kinda looks like one I ran into. Weird those things have horns though.”

The little girl makes a face at Subaru, before turning her back to him “No he isn’t, don’t be mean to him.” before running off.

“If the puppy was a wolgarm, it would have attacked her by now. Besides, the barrier blocks mabeasts from entering the village.”

“Mabeasts?”

“You don’t know what mabeasts are?” Rem asks incredulously. Subaru shakes his head. “Well, mabeasts are monsters born from the witch's miasma. They vary in shape, size, power, and always attack people on sight.”

“Guess this witch’s miasma really is nothing but trouble, I can see why I seemed so suspicious.”

“If you’ve been bitten by a Wolgarm we need to get you to Miss Beatrice so she can dispel the curse.”

“Curse? What curse?”

“Wolgarms place a curse on those they bite that activate at night, usually resulting in death.”

Subaru sits up straight. “Resulting in weakness, vomiting, and organ failure?”

“Yes, that is why it is important that you see Miss Beatrice” 

“It didn’t bite me, I killed it before it could.” Subaru pauses “Is it possible that the barrier could be damaged?”

“The barrier is maintained by the crystals surrounding the village and the mabeasts wouldn’t be able to approach those, so it’s unlikely.”

“Still… I have a bad feeling, I’m gonna check.”

“This seems unnecessary. Though, if you insist, I will assist you in inspecting the barrier.”

The duo begin to walk around the edge of the village, inspecting the barrier crystals along the way.

Subaru tries to break through the silence. “So… I told you a bit about me… but I still don’t know a whole lot about you.”

“Indeed, you don’t.”

“Do you want to share a bit?”

“I’d prefer not to talk about it.”

“Err… alright.”

After completing a semicircle around the village, the pair find a cracked barrier crystal.

“I don’t know a whole lot about magic stuff, but that looks broken to me.”

“What? How did?” Rem is clearly confused by the presence of the broken crystal, then comes to a realization. “Someone must have tampered with it. Mabeasts could get into the village-”

“What about that kid then? That puppy might have been a wolgarm?”

“Yes, that is now a possibility.”

Subaru begins to walk back towards the village. “We better not dilly dally, come on.” As they get closer to the village, sounds of a panic can be heard, as the villagers yell about missing children, spotting wolgarms, and discovering another broken crystal.

“Well, I guess that’s that mystery solved.” Subaru says, walking towards the source of the commotion.

“Wait.” Rem stops him “How do we know that this isn’t a distraction to keep us from the mansion? With Roswaal gone, the mansion is vulnerable.”

“Good point. I guess it could be.”

“So we should-”

“Leave these people to die?”

“No, that's not what I meant.”

“There’s only 2 options right now, return to the mansion to guard it and let the villagers die, or save the villagers and put our faith in Emilia and Ram to be capable of defending it themselves.”

“Why? Why would you go so far for this village?”

“A couple reasons. I know Emilia would want me to. I know that it’s the right thing to do. I know those kids don’t deserve to die. Though if I’m being honest with you, it's mostly so I can start chipping away at the mountain of guilt I've got. I won’t fault you if you go back to the mansion.”

Rem shakes her head “No, I have to keep my eye on you, remember?”

“Well, the more the merrier, just wish I had some tunes for this.”

[Rem has given Subaru the Oni Rage perk]