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Chapter Text

Detective Agnes O’Connor shuffled through the stack of papers in her hands as she walked into the interrogation room. She let the door slam behind her and sat in the worn leather seat across from her suspect. He was a goth teenager with a slit in his eyebrow and eyeliner that would put Billie Eilish to shame. Agatha grinned smugly as she watched him squirm in his seat and chip away at the black nail polish on his pinky.

“So.” She dropped the file folder on the table with a thud, causing the teen to jump. “Where were you last night between the hours of 1 and 3 am? Hmm?”

 The teen became increasingly fidgety as Agnes invaded his personal space, first by standing up and leaning as far as she could across the table, then by walking around to his side and progressively inching forward in his personal bubble until her knees brushed against the side of his chair. 

After the teenager stuttered a lame excuse about having been asleep in bed, Detective Agnes decided she’d had enough. “ASLEEP IN BED?!” She screamed right next to his ear as she scrawled on her notepad. “Ha! Like I haven’t heard that one before.” She folded her arms and stroked her chin with one finger while gazing at the ceiling, pretending to be deep in thought. “Total loser or totally lying? Let’s find out!”

“And cut!” Wanda yelled from behind the camera. “That’s a wrap!” She leaped up from her director’s chair and ran up to Billy, squealing gleefully as she pulled him into a tight hug, standing on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck. “You did so good!” She murmured into his chest, muffled by his sweatshirt.

Agatha broke into a proud grin, finally breaking character. “Well, he did learn from the best, didn’t he?”

Billy chuckled. “Having your parents and godmother to learn from certainly doesn’t hurt!” When Wanda finally released him, he exchanged hugs with Agatha. “You really think I was good?”

“You were phenomenal! Emmy-worthy in fact!”

Billy rolled his eyes as Agatha continued with her dramatics.

“And the Emmy goes to….” She paused for dramatic effect, “Billy Maximoff for the role of 'Teen Suspect’ in Agnes of Westview . And the crowd goes wild!” 

Wanda and Billy stared at Agatha as she made various noises with her mouth to mimic a cheering crowd.

“Alright, Agatha. You’ve made your point. Can you stop patronizing my kid now?”

“I wasn’t patronizing him! He did a great job! For a nepo baby.”

“Hey, if I’m a nepo baby, then so are you,” Billy argued. “Your dad married soap opera royalty!”

Right on cue, Agatha’s stepmother, Lilia Calderu, walked onto the set with her six-year-old son, Nicky.

“Mama!” Nicky cried excitedly as he waved a piece of paper at her before leaping into her arms. “Mama, Mrs. Davis gave my drawing a gold star!”

Agatha spun him around in a circle, then set him on the ground and took the drawing from him. “What did you draw?”

“It’s us, Mama! See? That’s me, you, Daddy, Nana Lilia, Aunt Wanda, Uncle Vis, Billy, and Tommy! Except Daddy is all the way over in Europe playing with his band.” He pointed to the upper right corner of the page where Agatha’s ex-husband, Ralph Bohner, was playing guitar with his band, Scratch.

Agatha smiled sadly. It had been nearly a year since Ralph moved out. At first, Nicky used to ask her every day when Daddy was coming home, but he was used to Ralph going on tour, so the long periods away were normal to him. As the year went on, however, the separation and subsequent divorce hearings became more public, meaning that Ralph and Agatha were on tabloid covers constantly, each week sporting a new rumor about their split as the headline. Agatha would cringe whenever Nicky would point them out in line at the grocery store and start asking questions. 

“Mama, why are there always pictures of you and Daddy here?”

“Because people don’t know how to mind their own business,” She would explain, and usually that was enough of an answer to satisfy a kindergartner.

Truthfully, Agatha suspected that their split got so much media attention mainly because of the contrast it provided to her best friends Wanda and Vision’s marriage. They had been together for over a dozen years since Vision directed Wanda in a production of Taming of the Shrew. The pair fell in love quickly and married a year later. A year after that, they welcomed twin boys, Billy and Tommy, earning Agatha the role of godmother (one of her favorite roles yet).

A few years later, they formed their own production company, WandaVision Studios, cementing them as a Hollywood power couple. People were constantly amazed at how stable and down-to-earth they seemed despite their fame and status. The biggest tabloid story they had warranted (aside from the birth of the twins) was when they had donated over a million dollars towards hurricane relief a few years prior. They were so famous and yet so normal that even the nastiest gossip columnist couldn’t make up a story about them.

Agatha and Ralph’s marriage, however, had been a tabloid frenzy from day one. They met at a Scratch concert in London when Vision had scored VIP tickets. He had blown her a kiss during a guitar solo, leading her to slip a piece of paper with her number on it into the pocket of his jeans when he surfed through the crowd during the encore. He texted her the next morning, and Agatha spent the rest of the summer playing groupie and following the band across Europe. The tour ended with Ralph pulling her onstage to propose, and they were married at a rooftop bar in Manhattan on New Year’s Eve. It was just Agatha’s luck that a photographer in a helicopter caught the whole ceremony, even managing to capture the perfect angle to expose her burgeoning baby bump. Nicholas was born six months later, almost a year to the day after his parents first met.

Once Nicky was born, something shifted in Agatha. The former party girl, who had relished the attention of the paparazzi, vanished, and she went into protective mama bear mode, going to great lengths to ensure that her son’s face was never seen by a camera. Ralph, however, didn’t grow up as quickly. While he did take more time off the road to be home with Nicky, his on-tour personality remained the same. He never shied away from the spotlight, and when a photo of him introducing Nicky onstage at a concert went viral on Instagram, he capitalized on the opportunity, turning the image into an album cover. Now their son’s face was plastered on t-shirts, stickers, and mugs worldwide. It made Agatha furious.

After that, she gave him an ultimatum: keep Nicky out of his career or lose them both. Ralph initially fought back, claiming that the proceeds from the merch would be more than enough to send Nicky to college. Wanting to prove she was serious, Agatha left their New York penthouse and moved Nicky to New Jersey to stay with Lilia for a month. 

It worked for a while. Ralph scrubbed all photos of Nicky off social media and took more precautions to protect their son from the public eye. He’d even sobered up and started to play more family-friendly shows when Nicky was in attendance. Their first tabloid appearance after Agatha moved back in was a wholesome family photo of the three of them enjoying a day at the zoo. For a while, Agatha truly believed that Ralph had changed. Until it became clear that he hadn’t.

“Mama, can I stay at Billy and Tommy's house this weekend? Pretty please?” Nicky begged as he looked at her with the same puppy dog eyes Ralph had always used when he wanted to make up after a fight. And somehow, Agatha folded. Every. Single. Time.

“Oh, Sweetie, I think Billy and Tommy have better things to do than hang out with a kindergartener all weekend.”

“Well, actually…” Billy started to say.

“Shh!” Agatha nudged him in the ribs. “I'm trying to give you an out here!”

“Tommy does have a track meet in Eastview tomorrow,” Wanda interjected. “But we'd be happy to bring Nicky with us! And then I could drop him off when I bring Billy over on Sunday for the red carpet. That way, you can have a quiet weekend to yourself before all the award show craziness. You deserve it after all your hard work this season.”

“It's fine! Really!” Billy assured her. “Besides, I owe you one for bringing me as your date to the Starkys.”

Agatha chuckled as she bent down and pulled Nicky into a hug. “Alright, Bud. Be good for Auntie Wanda and Uncle Vis, okay?”

“I will, Mama!”

With parting hugs to Wanda and Billy, Agatha left the studio and went home with Lilia.

-----

After dinner, Agatha retreated upstairs to her bedroom and changed into more comfortable clothes: a pair of well-worn jeans and one of Ralph’s old T-shirts, and a red flannel button-down shirt. She sat cross-legged on her bed with a glass of red wine and started scrolling through apps on the TV. She landed on WandaVision Plus, smirking as the trailer for Agnes of Westview auto-played on top of the homepage. She scrolled for a bit, not finding anything particularly interesting except a banner announcing the 25th-anniversary re-release of the late 90s horror flick The Reaper’s Daughter starring then-eleven-year-old Rosario Vidal, whom Agatha happened to be presenting a Starky with that weekend. Acquiring streaming rights for the movie had been a huge win for Wandavision Studios, as it had flopped at the box office and nearly faded into obscurity, only to develop a cult following years later when Rosario retired from acting to go to college. Since then, the film had become a classic Halloween staple, and its youngest star, now known as Rio, returned to the screen to reprise her role in the sequel.

Agatha flipped back to the home screen, where a notification popped up that a new video had been uploaded to Scratch's official YouTube channel. Out of sheer boredom and curiosity, Agatha clicked on it. She only stayed subscribed to the channel after the split so that Nicky could watch the shows they live-streamed, and normally wouldn't be caught dead watching one of their videos without him, but the band was about to drop a new album, one that Ralph had been promoting for weeks as “his way of healing from the heartbreak of a broken family”. Right . More like the heartbreak of being caught in bed with a European supermodel half your age.

The video was the leading single for the album, a song titled The Witches' Brew . The opening riff was catchy, Agatha had to admit, and she immediately recognized it as a sampling of Ballad of the Witches’ Road , a 70s rock ballad from Lorna Wu and The Coral Shore. Sampling classic hits was a semi-regular practice for the band, but they typically stuck to bands like Queen and KISS and laughed in Agatha's face whenever she dared to recommend anything as feminist as ABBA or Joan Jett.

The music video itself was pretty standard for a song about a witch. A handsome prince was on a valiant quest to rescue a princess trapped in a dungeon by a wicked witch who was brewing a potion to poison the princess. When it came to the chorus, the prince broke into the dungeon and finally met the witch face-to-face. As the witch turned around and her face was revealed, Agatha dramatically spat out her wine. Aside from her cheap costume and face caked with green makeup, she could be Agatha’s twin, or at the very least, her stunt double.

“Subtlety never was your strong suit, Ralphie,” Agatha muttered against the rim of her wine glass.

Just when Agatha thought it couldn’t get any worse, the song reached its final bridge with the prince down on bended knee begging the witch to free his princess from her curse.

I drowned myself in love potions for you

But you kept drinking the witch’s brew

 “Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me!” 

The video ended with the dollar store wicked witch cackling as the princess succumbed to her spell, leaving the prince desolate and heartbroken.

Agatha let out a frustrated growl as she collapsed into the pile of throw pillows on her bed. She lay motionless, staring at the ceiling with her mouth agape. A loud ding from her phone shook her out of her trance, and she quickly sat up and grabbed it from her nightstand. It was a text from Billy.

Teen One: Have you seen Ralph's new video? 😬

Agatha: Yeah 🙄

Teen One: Have you seen any of the edits?

Agatha: What edits?

Teen One is typing …

Chapter Text

Rio scrolled through her newsfeed as the limo stood still at an endless red light. In the front seat, she could hear the driver muttering what sounded like Russian swear words. When the light changed, he sped through the intersection so fast that Rio slid across the seat and collided with her publicist and friend, Alice Wu-Gulliver.

“God, Rio, at least buy me dinner first!” 

“Hey, it’s not my fault you got me the craziest driver on the East Coast!” She leaned in closer to whisper into Alice’s ear. “Where did you find this guy anyway?”

“Red Guardian limo services!” Alexei answered for her. “Saving you from boring evening since 2022!” He grinned and gave them a thumbs-up in the rearview mirror.

Rio shot Alice a skeptical look as she waited for an explanation.

“I owed his daughter a favor, okay? You’ve been in this business long enough to know better than anyone that who you know matters much more than actual talent.”

Rio gasped. “Are you saying I only got here because my father is a world-renowned filmmaker?”

“Well, if the shoe fits,” Alice said with a giggle.

Rio rolled her eyes.

“Oh, speaking of which! Do you remember how I told you that some band wanted to sample one of my mom’s songs?”

“Yeah, The Ballad of The Witches’ Road. Why?”

“The music video dropped on Friday, and I guess the song is supposed to be about the lead singer’s ex, so people have been editing the song to clips of her. Check this out!”

Alice pulled up a video on her phone and handed it to Rio. The edit featured several clips of a woman laughing with the sound replaced by an exaggerated witch’s cackle. In the final clip, the woman took a large swig from a glass of red wine and winked smugly at the camera while lyrics in red text crawled across the screen.

I drowned myself in love potions for you, but you kept drinking the witch’s brew.

On the second loop, Rio paused the clip at the end and studied the woman’s face. “Where have I seen her before?”

“Oh, that’s Agatha Harkness. She played Wanda Maximoff’s best friend in that cheesy teen drama about the magical high school. God, what was that show called?”

“Darkhold Academy!” Rio blurted out, biting her lip once she realized she had answered a bit too quickly.

“Yeah, that’s right. Hey, weren’t you like ten when that show came out?” Alice asked quizzically.

“My sister used to tape it, and I would sneak out to watch it after my parents went to sleep.” 

Rio’s blood rushed to her cheeks as the memories came flooding back to her. Even at the age of ten, she had found herself enamored with the two female protagonists, Agatha in particular.

“What is that look?”

“Nothing!” Rio insisted, waving her off.

“No, it’s okay, I get it. I had a huge crush on Wanda back then, too.”

Rio’s cheeks grew even redder. “I never said I had a crush on Wanda!”

“You didn’t have to,” said Alice. “The look on your face said it for you.”

“Who said that the look had anything to do with Wanda ?” Rio retorted.

Alice’s eyes widened as she realized that Rio was looking back at the edit on her phone. “You had a thing for Agatha Harkness?!” She squealed.

Flustered, Rio threw the phone into Alice’s lap and clapped her hand over her publicist’s mouth. “Oh my God, SHUT UP!!”

“Oh, what? Now, all of a sudden, you liking girls is some big secret?” Alice teased.

True, Rio thought. Her infatuation with the teenage witches on TV as a preteen was only the tip of the iceberg. At 14, she’d had her first kiss at a slumber party on a dare. She could barely remember the girl's name anymore (Sammie? Sophie? Chloe?), but she remembered the softness of her lips as they brushed against hers, and how it sent a wave of electricity up her spine stronger than the feelings she got around any of the boys at school.

 That kiss was all it took for Rio to know who she was. Before then, she had assumed her lack of interest in boys had more to do with the fact that she went to a private school filled with poor little rich boys whose parents could afford to bail them out of any stupid stunts they pulled. None of them were interesting enough, let alone attractive enough for Rio, despite many of them falling for her. But after that innocent little kiss at a slumber party in ninth grade, Rio realized that it wasn’t the cockiness of her male classmates that turned her off. It was simply the maleness of them.

She dated a few girls throughout high school, but those brief romances were always kept under wraps to maintain her image as “The Little Darling of Hollywood Horror.” It wasn’t until she graduated from high school and moved across the country for college that she was truly able to embrace who she was and let herself fall in love, which she did more times than she cared to admit, but she wore that last time would be the last time . Just a year ago, Rio could never have imagined that she would be walking the red carpet alone tonight.

When the limo pulled up to the red carpet, Alexei was all too eager to jump out of the driver's seat and push his way through the crowd of paparazzi to open the door for Rio. “Make way for Miss Rio Vidal!” He announced to the cheering crowd as if his entire life had led up to this moment. He delicately took her hand and kissed it as he helped her out, then shut the limousine door in Alice's face.

“You really didn't have to do that,” Rio told him.

“Of course! Is my job, Miss Rio!” 

“I thought your job was to protect me from a boring evening?” 

“And have you been bored for even a second since you got into Red Guardian limousine?” Alexei asked.

Rio chuckled. “I suppose not. Thank you, Alexei.”

“Is no problem, Miss Rio!” Alexei winked and tipped his hat to her before getting back in the limo and driving off.

Behind her, Rio could hear Alice jogging to catch up to her.

“Okay!” Alice huffed.

Rio cocked her head to the side and frowned. “Are you? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, no, I'm fine. I just should have worn better shoes, that’s all!” She paused to take another breath. “Anyway, you're wearing Max Alexander and you're here promoting Return of the Reaper’s Daughter, which comes out in September.”

“Got it!” Rio replied with a nod. She glanced around the red carpet, suddenly feeling a little uneasy. Most of the high-profile nominees and presenters were accompanied by a date. Showing up alone to these things tended to draw unwanted attention.

Alice came up behind her and squeezed her shoulder. “Remember, if they ask about Cassandra, you have every right to change the subject. And if they try to push you for details, remember that you also have every right to give them a good tongue-lashing. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, and if they can’t understand that, then they deserve your wrath, so I say go ahead and give ‘em hell!”

Alice’s face lit up with a mischievous grin accompanied by a fiery look in her eyes.

“What happened to keeping it succinct and professional?” asked Rio.

“Like I said, some of these jerks deserve to be taken down a peg or two. You’ve gotten off pretty easily, being a queer social media icon and all. Your little army of baby reapers would gladly descend upon anyone who dared to give you any trouble. Most people aren’t so lucky.”

Rio realized that Alice was smiling at something behind her. She turned around to see a group of twenty-somethings in matching Baby Reaper shirts. Rio instantly relaxed as she approached them, taking the time to hug each one and pose for selfies. All of her nerves were momentarily forgotten as Rio disappeared into her happy place, the real reason she had stepped back into the spotlight. If she could use her platform to provide a safe space for a new generation of misfits to explore their identity without judgment, then all the crap she had to deal with from the press was worth it.

After reluctantly leaving the safety of her nest of Baby Reapers, Rio proceeded down the carpet to the line of reporters, shading her eyes as she walked into the sea of photographers flashing cameras from all angles. The first few interviews were uneventful as most questions focused on her outfit: an all-black ensemble with sheer bell sleeves, a deep plunging V-neck lined with floral rhinestones and beading, and a lacy hooded cape with a cathedral train (which Alice had already stepped on at least seven times). Rio was about to approach the next reporter in line when she heard a commotion breaking out behind her. Several reporters began shouting over each other.

“Agatha, have you seen the edits?”

“What do you think of Ralph’s new song, Agatha?”

“Ralph said that making this album helped him to heal from the heartbreak of a broken family. Would you like to comment on that, Agatha?”

At first, Rio glanced quickly over one shoulder and then started to move on, but when she caught a glimpse of the woman who had captured the reporters’ attention, she froze.

Agatha Harkness. The woman from the edit Alice had just shown her — the woman she had stayed up late watching so many nights as a kid on Darkhold Academy — and the woman she would be presenting an award with that very evening, was coming down the carpet behind her. She was accompanied by a teenage boy, one of Wanda’s sons, Rio guessed, considering Agatha’s son couldn’t be older than about seven.

Rio was taken aback by how poised Agatha seemed despite all of the presumably unwanted questioning. She smiled cordially, shaking hands with each reporter and replying “No comment” to the majority of their questions until finally one reporter had the decency to invite her to introduce her escort.

“Yes, this is my godson and newest protege, Billy Maximoff!” Agatha announced, this time with a proud smile that reached her eyes.

Fascinating , Rio thought. With the flip of a switch, this woman’s expression had gone from cold and disinterested to that of a proud maternal presence showing off her greatest achievement. No wonder there was so much buzz about her sweeping the Best Actress awards next season. She was the picture of grace and elegance from head to toe, wearing an effortlessly flawless messy top bun and a dark purple blazer gown belted at the waist. She looked like a younger, hotter version of the crotchety headmistress of an all-girls boarding school. Her escort was dressed in a coordinating ensemble, with a matching purple blazer over a black turtleneck and trousers. The kid was grinning from ear to ear like he had finally been offered a seat at the adults’ table for Thanksgiving dinner, and Rio couldn't help being charmed by his enthusiasm.

At the end of the carpet, just before Rio went into the theater, Alice pulled her to the side. “Hey, sorry, I just got a last-minute note from the producers. You know how your co-presenter didn’t show up to the rehearsal?”

Rio nodded, growing suspicious. She could see on Alice’s face that she was searching for her next words very carefully.

“Well, they’re putting you with Agatha, and since you have the whole Baby Reapers thing going on with your TikTok, and Agatha has all these Witch’s Brew edits going around, they want you to do a bit together.”

“What kind of bit?” 

“They wouldn’t tell me. They want to wait until the two of you are together backstage to go over the changes in the script.”

“Okay, that doesn't sound so bad. Kind of funny actually,” Rio admitted. “Wait, why do you look so nervous?”

Alice sucked in a breath through her gritted teeth. “You know how they say you should never meet your heroes?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, you're about to find out why!” Alice laughed nervously as she pulled Rio inside by the arm.

-----

Rio could hear someone screaming as soon as they stepped into the stairwell leading down to the green room. In a sea of presenters, agents, and crew members, one voice managed to carry over all the others. 

“I DON’T CARE IF IT’S JUST A BIT, JEN! I AM NOT GOING OUT THERE IN A FUCKING WITCH’S HAT!”

Agatha.

They crossed the green room to where Agatha was standing with her publicist and a poor, innocent production assistant who looked like he was trying not to cry.

“Ms. Harkness, I sincerely apologize for the last-minute changes, but the writers --”

“I don’t give a flying fuck what the writers want! The writers can kiss my ass. I am a professional actress, and I refuse to stoop to their level of self-deprecating humor because some kid on the internet turned me into a witch!”

On one hand, Rio couldn’t help but pity the poor guy. He was probably nothing more than a messenger. On the other hand, a small part of her almost envied him. The idea of being on the receiving end of such passionate rage from someone, especially a woman, who was simply standing her ground against further detriment to her reputation, gave Rio goosebumps.

At that point, the two publicists went into damage control mode, acting as mediators between Agatha and her victim. The production assistant, Peter, explained that the writers had seen several of the edits casting Agatha as the wicked witch in her ex-husband’s music video and wanted to use her to appeal to their younger audience by sending Agatha out in a witch’s hat and Rio in a classic Grim Reaper costume.

“I’m not doing it,” Agatha reiterated. “And I want to know which of your demented Gen Z writers came up with this idea so I know exactly who I need to hit with a lawsuit! Do you hear me, Peter? I want names !” She hissed as she grabbed him by the collar.

Once Agatha released him, Peter stood stunned and speechless, his eyes begging for help.

“She’ll do it,” Agatha’s publicist promised him. “You go on. I can handle it from here.”

“Thank you!” Peter squeaked as he left in a sprint.

Agatha collapsed into the nearest chair, folding her arms across her chest and pouting indignantly, like a toddler who had just been put in timeout. Her publicist, Jen, pulled up a chair and sat across from her. She said nothing, only glaring at Agatha with a cocked eyebrow as if to say, ‘Really? This again?’. This clearly wasn’t the first time either of them had been through this routine. The silent staredown continued for a few more minutes with Agatha occasionally huffing in exasperation and Jen periodically sighing and rubbing her temple. 

“Maybe we should go?” Rio whispered to Alice.

“Are you kidding me? We’re about to witness the diva crash-out of the century! The only place I’m going is to get popcorn!”

Jen turned around to glare at Alice.

“Sorry, Babe! You’re doing great!” Alice said, encouraging her with two thumbs up.

Jen rolled her eyes and turned back to Agatha. “We can do this all night, Agatha. We can sit here playing this game of chicken until you realize that things aren’t going to go your way, or you can put your big girl pants on and wear the damn witch’s hat for five minutes while you make a lame joke and read some names off the teleprompter. It’s up to you.”

“For God’s sake, Jen, when are you going to quit pulling this gentle parenting crap on me?”

Jen smirked. “When it stops working.”

Agatha started to stutter a reply, then made a frustrated noise somewhat akin to a growl. “I hate you, Jen!” She muttered as she put the hat on and stormed off. Suddenly, she turned back to address Rio, her tone much cooler and more even. “It was a pleasure to meet you,” she said earnestly. “I apologize that you’ve caught me on a bad day.”

“The pleasure was all mine,” Rio said, reaching out to shake Agatha’s hand.

Agatha returned the handshake and then disappeared without another word, leaving an awkward silence in her wake. Rio subtly brushed the back of her hand against her cheek to feel its warmth.

-----

Rio didn’t see Agatha again until they were waiting in the wings onstage. During a commercial break, a production assistant came over to give them a few last-minute notes, which Agatha quickly and cleanly rejected. “I don’t need to be told how to read a teleprompter, thank you very much.”

The production assistant slinked away in fear from Agatha’s icy stare alone. Damn, two for two, Rio thought.

 When the music cued the end of the commercial break, she donned her hood and carried her cheap Halloween store scythe prop onstage. They stood briefly at the podium to allow the audience to take in their on-the-nose ensembles, which earned a ripple of lukewarm laughter from the crowd. At the last second, Rio put on the signature blank expression that made her titular character in The Reaper’s Daughter famous, causing an eruption of laughter and applause.

“What’s wrong, Rio?” Agatha asked, voice exaggerated and overly chipper.

“What’s with your costume?” Rio asked.

“They told us to come dressed as our favorite horror movie character!” Agatha replied.

“Then why are you dressed as Elphaba from Wicked? That’s not even a horror movie!”

Rio had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing along with the audience. 

“I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm the Wicked Witch of the West!” Agatha proclaimed, prominently stroking her chin. 

“Prove it,” Rio challenged her. 

Agatha made a face at her, and for the first time, Rio felt hurt by Agatha’s coldness. Sure, maybe she was just playing it up for the bit, but she looked at Rio in a way that made her feel as if she were personally responsible for Agatha’s humiliation. The moment passed quickly, though, as Agatha flashed Rio a devilish smile before belting out the loudest and most obnoxious cackle that Rio had ever heard.

“Do you believe me now?” 

“You have indeed proven yourself worthy of the darkness,” Rio said. “Just like these women who have been nominated for Best Supporting Actress in a Horror Film.” She pointed her scythe at the main camera, and the audience applauded as the nominees’ names were announced.

Once Agatha announced the winner and the two women walked offstage, Jen and Alice were waiting for them together, smiling at something on Jen’s phone.

“What the hell are you two so giddy about?” Agatha snapped as she ripped off her hat and threw it at the closest person in a headset.

“We were mocking how ridiculous you looked out there in those costumes,” Jen quipped back. “As I’m sure everyone else on the internet will be doing for weeks to come because you’re just that important, Agatha.”

“Isn’t that what I’m paying you to prevent?”

“Agatha, it was just a --”

“I KNOW it was just a joke, Jen! Can’t you see I’m not in the mood for jokes right now?” Agatha closed her eyes and took a breath, seemingly to center herself. “Okay, I need something to drink. Let’s go, Jen.”

She walked away, not bothering to wait for Jen to follow her.

“It was really nice meeting you,” Jen told Rio. “And you’ll talk to her?” She said to Alice.

Alice nodded and kissed her goodbye.

“Talk to me about what?” Rio asked after they had left.

“Nothing important!” Alice assured her. “Come on, we’ve got an afterparty to get to!”

-----

Rio was jolted awake by her alarm the next morning. Her head was pounding, and it felt like she had slept with a mouthful of cottonballs. She sat up in bed slowly, groaning as she held her stomach. She took a swig from the bottle of blue Powerade that Alice had left on her nightstand, then reached for her phone to check her messages. She vaguely remembered receiving several notifications in quick succession right as she was about to fall asleep, but she had assumed they were updates from Alice letting her know she had made it home safely.

They weren't.

Her lockscreen was filled with Instagram notifications, which in itself wasn’t unusual, as Alice usually made a few posts to her story to show off her outfit and a few interview highlights from the red carpet. But the notifications weren’t on her story. They were on a post she had been tagged in on the official Starkys page.

At first glance, the picture looked pretty standard. Anyone casually scrolling through would think it was just an ordinary highlight post of two presenters having fun, committing to a bit. Rio thought the same until she saw the caption and looked at the picture more closely.

She was smiling. Some genius photographer had managed to capture the split second during the performance in which Agatha didn’t appear as though she was being held hostage and forced to perform for her captors. She was smiling, and so was Rio. She hadn’t even noticed in the moment that when Agatha shot her a cheesy grin as if to say ‘Watch this!’, she had briefly dropped character and smiled back. In the picture, it appeared to be nothing more than two colleagues sharing a laugh, but the caption implied otherwise.

I’d drink her witch’s brew.

Rio rolled her eyes, wondering if maybe Peter was the one who had written the caption to get back at Agatha. Then she read some of the comments and started to panic.

@agathaswife:  omgggg not Rio with the 😍😍😍 saaaame giiirl!!!!

@will_reap_4_rio:  wait why are they sooooo cute!! 💀💀

@riovidal_updates: Rios looking at her like she hung the sun herself, and honestly same

@westviewHOA: @wandamaximoff get these two together on screen and my life is yours!!!

@wandaandvis: wait, didn't Agatha say she was gay in some old ass interview?!? 🤔

Rio’s mind was reeling as she scrolled through the comments section, trying her best to ignore some of the more explicit ones. However, she did notice that there were multiple comments containing one simple sentence: I ship it. One person had even replied to one of those comments with “ OMG YES!! #AgathaRio? #Vidarkness??”

That comment received thousands of likes and multiple replies agreeing that #Vidarkness sounded so much cooler, which Rio couldn’t help but agree with. It was certainly cooler than #CassaRio . Not that Rio cared, but Cassie used to complain that it sounded too much like “casserole”.

Rio’s phone pinged again, and this time it was a message from Alice.

Alice has added you to a group chat.

Alice has added 2 other people to the group.

Unknown: Jen WTF is going on now?? 

Alice: Hi ladies! As you may have seen, your appearance at the Starkys has caused a bit of a stir online.

Rio: I’ll say 😅

Alice: Since the photo currently circulating of the two of you has some romantic implications, Jen and I have come up with a plan to sway this publicity in both of your favor 🙂

Rio: What is this plan exactly?

Alice has renamed the group Project Vidarkness