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Chapter Text

My eyes blinked frantically… and …. Opened and closed gently. All around me was… was … was … water. Rolling water, rolling waves, and a calm ocean…

The water was fine. The waves were fine. And I was… sailing? I cocked my head down and… yes, yes I was sailing - not sailing, but skating.

I'd known I had never done anything like this before… yet I had. And I had done all my life… but I hadn't, and yet I had.

A small frown appears on my face. "I… died, didn't I?" A soft voice exits my mouth, one I've never heard before, yet and ….

….

Then it clicked.

I had died. My brow furrowed deeply.

I died- I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, I died, I DIED!-- Why? What happened? I couldn't remember, yet I knew I had… Why?!

But I don't remember and…. And … What even happened? These questions raced through my head, throbbing and panging hard against my skull. Reading a book? Walking home from work after taking the bus? Not looking where I was going? My routine flickered through my head, searching for anything that could have happened. Yet… there was nothing. 

And… What about my family? My two sisters, my mother, my father…. What about them? 

Some part of me went quiet, and another part of me felt my grief seize my heart and pang horribly.

And yet another part of me softly and quietly said, "I am… sorry," as calm as a whisper…

I take a deep, shuddering breath, then smaller ones. I let the wind rush over my hair… I calmly breathed in and out.

Something wasn't right. Why had I jumped to the 'dead' part of things? That wasn't… that wasn't right. I knew that wasn't right. I had woken up and conducted the morning as part of routine, and nothing else happened…

But what was this feeling clenching in my chest? This uncertainty? This terror?

I frowned heavily. "This isn't right," I whispered out, pausing. Something certainly didn't sound right, of course, but what was it?

My head hurts, it pounds and it aches. I winced, hissing sharply as I held my forehead in the palm of my hand.

It hurt, and it throbbed endlessly. "What's wrong?" I frowned. It sounded wrong, but why?

This was how I always sounded, wasn't it?

Or….. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again.

Why exactly was it that I was standing in the middle of an ocean? Why was I then wearing all the gear of a painfully stereotypical yet somehow accurate gear consisting of that of a Japanese Archer? A… Kyudo uniform?

A beautiful white kimono, a black protective chest piece, a Muneate, a blouse of white- no, a navy blue gi underneath that kimono or something, no, it was a keiko-gi (how did I know?). Following downwards, then, lay a Hakama of the softest blue, held up by an obi.

Then, naturally enough, there was a Yumi in my left hand, well oiled, beautifully maintained, and dutifully taken care of to ensure maximum efficiency and smooth operations - of this, I somehow knew-, then a glove, a Yugake covering my right hand. This was for launching arrows and making sure my hand was protected from the burn of the rope.

And I was, of course, wearing tabi, and… geta. In these conditions? On water? Weren't they going to get wet?

I raised an eyebrow, and yet? It didn't seem to be getting any wetter, even as I bobbed gently on these waves.

I knew some Japanese words, but rather broadly speaking in a brutally honest context?

I … didn't know a lick of Japanese, and I was sure I didn't have a lick of Japanese blood in me. Not that I'd taken a DNA test, but of this, I was sure. However I wasn't then going to lie and say I was some sort of language guru.

I'd been interested in Kyudo because it looked cool, and… well, I'd…. I'd naturally known what it was because that was simply my existence as an --

What? What am I talking about? I had looked it up - where and how? How could one 'look up' information?

My head hurt all the more fiercely, and I shook it to focus. Why had these terms so easily floated to my mind?

Usually I -... again? The headache continuously throbbed painfully.

Why did my head hurt so much? Why did it pang and gripe so horribly?

I simply didn't know. But, well, I eyed them up with a critical eye and… Then I looked downwards and I stared wordlessly, unable to really understand what I— because I…

Because I….

I…..

It was summer.

I remembered smelling something funny in the house.

I tried doing something about it.

I remembered following the smell, outside to the deck, and the starting sparks of a small glinting glow of yellow and red, openly dancing in the daylight, illuminating the ominously leaking tank.

how hadn't we noticed?

there had been a collection of odd lightning storms recently.

storms out of nowhere, unpredictable.

ships going missing. the reports slowly but noticeably ticking up with each passing month and day.

one of those bolts of lightning during one of those odd storms had hit our house yesterday night giving us a clear fright but nothing else we'd assumed had been damaged past the obvious.

we were wrong.

I remembered running, shouting to get out of the—-

a searing sharp burning white hot brightness.

then now.

…………………

oh.

they are all gone.

I have no one.

I have nothing.

And so, everything came crashing down.

………………….

I exhale calmly.

And My head hurt.

Because I….

I blinked so softly and slow.

Yes, I stared down at myself, gazing down at my well crafted black muneate with a tired eye.

The roundness, the navy blue tatsuki tying away the sleeves to make sure that they didn't get in the way of my firing… and the keiko-gi underneath.

What even was a 'keiko-gi?' Why did I look wrong? No, I I- I … I didn't look wrong, I … "Damn it all," I sighed with frustration.

Once again, It sounded off, but yet it didn't and… I shook my head and grumbled.

This time, I frown as I turn my head over to my… quiver? No, my … my Yazutsu… I think… type quiver. It was extended down across my back, long and well-shined.

What even was it?.... I… damn it…. I knew what it was, yet I didn't know what it was. It … It hurts, my head seriously hurts.

This time, I glared through the headache and finally reached over to my arrows in determination.

And that?

That was/was not a mistake. 

Because as soon as I ran my hands gently over those Ya-, no, those arrows, no-... I …

For one moment after another, like the strings of a beautiful violin, did my mind flashed through a hangar bay.

One by one, one Shōtai, one section after another, 3 aircraft for each of those sections, My Mitsubishi A6M2 Zero Fighters, Aichi D3A1 dive-bombers, and Nakajima B5N2 Torpedo Bombers…

And in its entirety, my Kōkū Sentai, my air group— at least I was somewhat sure that's what it was called; 18 A6M of the Kansen Buntai, 18 D3A's of Kanbaku Buntai, and 26 B5N's making up my Kanko Buntai, lead by 1 plane of the unit commander, with two D3A's in spare from Souryu, and… 9 A6M2's from the 6th Kokutai, destined to…

Oh .

With that, I suddenly gasp from a sharp pain; a roaring tidal wave of memories thudding pounding slamming into my head without any mercy or sign of stopping.

My hands shoot to my head, nursing it, trying to get it to stop-- and… so too does rise something else. A long solid flight deck, jutting off my shoulder and its rear I noticed attached to my waist as an apron of sorts. And attached to my quiver? A masthead, poking above the rest.

And suddenly, those arrows were gone. As if… they were never there to begin with, but they were still there, in the quiver… somewhere, I could feel it.

I - I inhale and exhale - it - I- … At that moment, something else burned into my consciousness and being.

"My name is Kaga," I said solemnly for the world to hear.

And it made no sense. I … was —- No…. But no, I clearly wasn't I - I was Kaga, a boat, and yet I wasn't, and I was a human, not a goddamn boat for crying out loud! Much less a—- …I might have added.

Much less a what? I frowned and cradled my head.

It hurt a lot. But yet I smiled with amusement. Why?

It really was hilarious, wasn't it? June 4th, 2022, 1022 Hours… The same hour, almost the exact same minute, the same day, and only 80 years apart….

and we'd both died to gasoline explosions.

that was funny.

… then what explained away these round things? Well, my fuel tanks obviously, but my voice, soft and reserved?

But- Terror, Dread, Cold Horror- American Dive Bombers, 30 inbound on my position! Their Engines roared in the sky above and I shove my engines to their limits, moving to swerve and keep off their aim.

I frantically look around, endlessly. Where was my task force? A carrier wasn't supposed to be alone- Where were my escorts? My head whipped every which way, terrified. Where were my destroyers? Where was - was that poor Destroyer, Hagikaze? That quiet, dutiful girl, Weeping, sobbing and apologizing so deeply as she was forced to line up her shots?

Oh god, Hagikaze…

My heart pounded. I looked upwards, bracing myself, readying my guns, as their bombs fell from the skies. I swerved left, right and - A scream exploded from my right- or was it my left, a familiar scream - "Akagi!" I gasped, eyes widened, banking desperately over to assist her- a-and there she was, heavily damaged but still floating and I- … I ….

She disappeared. She was gone, as if she was never there to begin with.

I … came to a complete stop, my chest heaving inwards…. And outwards, my heart- no, my boilers, pounding against my chest rapidly.

Were they even supposed to do that? Who even was I? Who was my Family? Why was I here? How did I even get here? I- I … what happened to my—? My sisters? My… "Agh!" My headache pounded heavily, but I did only have a sister and—

"T-Tosa?" I whimpered, the headache unceasing. Yes, … My… My sister? My sister. Only one, yes. We were slated to be scrapped, and I? Was to be used for target practice… Or was it that my sister and I were to be scrapped? Or was it both Target Practice, and I simply didn't know. But then there came the earthquake. This… changed things.

I was soon separated from my sister and eventually converted over to an Aircraft Carrier.

And… It was there where I would meet my best friend, Akagi. The Girl, which, for the longest time, I had hated and despised above all else for stealing my sister away from me… and how everything changed when I learned that she too had lost a sister in that earthquake.

And… and "Now you're gone, Akagi," I whispered, staring out at the water. Darkness seems to … fall into me. Despair - what was even the point? "Souryu and Hiryu, too," I said quietly.

She… she had still been fighting, even when I was sinking, hadn't she? I… knew she'd gotten hit I- It … it simply didn't make any sense.

But, well, if we had burned and burned and burned and burned… then chances were high enough to conclude that she too had slipped beneath the waves.

Something told me I was right… that… we'd failed. And we'd failed miserably.

I stared down at the water and… it whispered to me. Who? Where and what? I … wasn't… wasn't sure.

It beckoned me. Closer and closer to the water.

And I … I obeyed.

What did it even matter anymore? They were all gone.

Sliding down to my knees and waiting. "It… hurts," I find myself mumbling. The pain of the headache, the pang in my chest at the knowledge that they were all gone.

…. But You could get revenge, if you wanted to. Something, someone, someone's, whispered into my ear, seductively.

I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed.

It was cold. So, so cold out here.

In the distance, I could hear… someone's as well. Yelling, shouting, comforting, and… I wasn't sure who they even were.

They sounded— Don't you want to avenge them? Just listen to me- us. She whispered to me so beautifully.

I…. Obeyed. I had no other choice. I hated them for taking them all away.

I relaxed, my limbs went limp, shoulders slouching, legs and feet, propeller shafts and propellers, feeling weaker and more useless than ever.

And I hang my head wordlessly.

There was no point in resisting, was there? I exhaled and I… simply didn't care anymore.

And thus, Gently, I felt her tendrils slide over my useless limbs and begin to pull me downwards. It … didn't feel right; they were cold and slimy, but… they were the only things I had left anymore.

I quietly braced myself for the cold of the water, my head, my side ponytail… all slowly being pushed and tugged so wonderfully gently into the waiting embrace of the water.

Because … What did I have left, No, who would I even have left, when everything was all over?

…

"5th Carrier Division. You'd still have 5th Carrier Division," A small voice in the back of my head responded.

Oh.

I… Tiredly, my eyes opened, and I pushed. That was right. I… still did have them, didn't I? The tendrils started to lose their grip, and I?

"They abandoned us at Midway," I grunted, raising my head. "And they struggled to handle a measly two inferior aircraft carriers and couldn't even be bothered to help us afterwards," I snapped quietly as I began to force myself back to my feet.

But don't you want to get revenge on those damned Americans? The dark voice once again whispered into my ear.

Yes, I did, and that was very much right. But "I don't have time for that right now," I said stubbornly. "Those upstarts from 5thCarDiv are clearly completely hopeless, and they need their senior from 1st Carrier Division to show them the error of their ways, to set them right for a path to improvement," I said evenly, raising my shoulders, exhaling with glowing and rising pride as I glared down at the water.

It… that cold, whitened reflection of myself in the water; or … what seemed to be a more ghostly, more ethereal, more, a weaker version of myself. Porcelain white skin, snow white hair, red eyes and a hollow stare faltering in what might have been nonplused.

"Without the help of the glorious 1st Carrier Division, those girls of 5thCarDiv are going to ruin themselves, mark my words," I said with a small, but proud and assured, smirk.

"And so, it's up to me," I placed a hand on my Muneate-covered chest. "To teach them the lessons they'll never forget-- especially one for that arrogant little crane," I said confidently with a haughty huff,

And its reaction, its expression to my words… Was I hallucinating? I could have sworn it looked gobsmacked.

Then, well, I blinked and… it was gone.

"Shoukaku might know her place, but that attitude of that sister of hers requires correction." I shake my head with an amused snort, placing my hands back on my hips.

Then… I take a deep breath, and I exhale, letting the wind whip over everything once more as I revved up my engines once more, beginning to sail once more. Then, I finally began to relax as the minutes passed by quietly. 

And… I really had only one question left. "Where to go from here, huh?" I mused, narrowing my eyes.

"D-Desu Desu desu?"

"Not sure how much my fuel is going to last me, and… I think I might have enough to go to some port," I nodded, feeling the salty sea wind through my hair "I have aviation fuel, bombs, torpedoes, and have weapons to defend myself if necessary, so…" I sighed loudly, running a hand through my short side ponytail and hair.

"I… don't even know when it is or where we even are, but I need to get my bearings straight, and the closest way to do that?" I mumbled before thinking to myself, drawing up maps and the course that my… ah.

"Desu Dess?"

After a minute or two of thinking I had my math right. I inhale and calmly exhale. This might be a bit risky, but it was better than nothing.

"Set Course for Midway Atoll," I ordered. "I need to send up a scouting force halfway, so be ready for that," I calmly continued. "It's roughly 160 nautical miles away, and we'll be going 15 knots cruise speed." I hummed to myself after a moment, letting air wash over me, drinking in the sight of the waves and … the sky as well.

It was getting alarmingly low the longer I looked at it, so maybe that was something of a problem. When had it gotten that low? "Hmmph, how annoying," I said with a small twitch of my brow.

But this factor? Had given me something to consider-- and so I improvised accordingly.

"It's going to take essentially 9 hours for the full trip, and…" Hmm, I relooked at the maps, calculating, plotting, and … ahah! "Scratch that, follow the new course plotted on the map," I nodded slowly. Going by this new course? It should swing us around a shallower patch of water, which we could then…

"Going by these new calculations, it will be 225 Nautical Miles away, taking 14 hours at our 15 knots-- meaning, by my calculations, we will be in the perfect position to launch a recon at an unexpected angle. Depending on what we find, we should have a good exit point." I contemplated this with a small smile on my face.

It would take us quite a bit into the night, but it should work nicely, and by dawn? We would still be far enough away to be safe. If … It… I… wasn't sure what to do.

However, "Therefore, during the night, I shall spend a modest sum of time getting used to sailing on the open waters.. And then, of course, by sunrise, I'll launch our recon and Combat Air Patrol." This, well, sounded like a good plan.

But "Is something wrong?" I finally noticed the lack of a response from my crew.   

"Desu… desu dess, desu desu dess," One of them softly said. Enthusiastic yet tired, a familiar voice, a familiar presence, and I worked through this to consider what they had said.

"I… there weren't any American Dive Bombers?" I blinked in surprise "Akagi wasn't there and… oh," I said, calmly and with some surprise at the realization that; "I… see, I apologize for alarming all of you so much," I lowered my head in a small bow.

Because that simply just felt like the right thing to do. And why wasn't it? After all, according to them, I had apparently just… swerved and started shouting out of nowhere, panicking and rocking the boat with my stumbling maneuvers.

And after all of that? Well… It seemed I had shut down completely. Falling to my knees, closed my eyes and refused to move or respond to anyone. Worse, I had been that way for hours. It was hard not to see why they were so concerned.

Then… Well, only until recently, I was starting to keel over completely. My head and my body were seemingly by their lonesome (No… odd tendrils, which I could have sworn I felt), drooping towards the water closer and closer.

And then I woke up, saying all of those things. It still felt all a bit weird, as if I was locked in a dream but… I frowned heavily. "Something still feels wrong, and I… ugh, I don't know what," I said quietly as I felt myself start to follow the course laid out on the map.

The headache was not abating, and … was I trying to tell myself something? Were these… other memories trying to say something? Were they the ones who reminded me of those 5th Carrier Division juniors?

I wasn't sure, and my head did not like it.

Regardless, I shook my head and turned back outwards. "Again, sorry about that mistake. I hope not to repeat it," I acknowledged with a sigh.

"Desu dess, dess desu," another one said with a rub on my island. I jerked a bit, unsure why I felt that, but "Please refrain from doing that- my… flight deck is delicate," I mumbled. Then there was another sigh, this time from myself.

And, well, those tiny little things I could call a crew seemed to find this utterly hilarious. 

But, another moment of reflection later? I blinked and gasped softly as I had a second realization. "Captain," I said, quietly stunned, "Captain Okada Jisaku, is that … really you?" I repeated, struggling to contain the relief in my voice. "Desu, dess desu," She sighed, rather strained with all of that hair… under… her cap. Oh, dear, well that was something of a problem, wasn't it?

With that realization, then? Others of my beloved crew who I could have sworn were gone for good; My Executive Officer Capt. Kawaguchi Masao, the Navigator Cdr. Kodota Kazuharu, the Gunnery Officer LtCdr. Miyano Tosaburo, and others who had died in those first few horrid explosions.

Then, my damage control officer hid her face with shame- most of my engine gang, staring at the wall quietly, hands still shaking, and others who had survived my sinking like Air Officer Cdr. Amagai Takahisa, who was more silent than anything else, deeply repentant by the fact that they had left me or failed me completely in our worst hours.

And at that moment, well, I… ashamedly began to silently weep with joy (on the inside, of course, because that was the way it had always been) that my crew was not dead, not burning and burning - they were alive and here with me. I wasn't alone!

Chapter Text

Given how everything had gone so terribly wrong the previous day, I was pleasantly surprised… or perhaps suspicious to see that nothing had gone wrong yet in this nighttime cruise.

The moon made for a rather annoying factor in it all; knowing that things would be visible, that I would be more visible… but perhaps things were more even. Considering that If they could see me, then so too could I hopefully see them.

Things were perhaps, if anything, … unnervingly peaceful as I began my simple but well-reasoned training routine; Zig-Zags and figure-eights every once in a while.

Admittedly, to my embarrassment, I hadn't exactly factored all of these manoeuvres into my course and… well, promptly refrained from those figure eights after the first hour of doing them.

This, well, this made sense on why it would create problems. The Zig-Zags, however, remained a clear exercise in both safety and getting used to sailing.. Why would I need this, you might ask? Well… I didn't know. It felt like the right thing to do, and I was making these weird mistakes.

It was perhaps due to my sudden… what did I even call it? My sudden ability to move where I pleased and when? The fact I was one with my hull, still being an integral part of a ship's spirit yet now being much more corporeal?

Whatever the case, on top of all of that? "What happened after my sinking? I need to know," I asked out of the blue and into the night. What crew were awake collectively all had similar answers.

They simply didn't know. From that, I could split the answers into multiple camps.

Firstly, were those perhaps still in a state of shock. They were to be in the smallest of three camps, and these… were the first ones of my air group I had lost above Midway Island in that first strike. 1 D3A1, and 2 A6M2, to be specific. 4 Men, now girls, were reduced to a silent shock after learning that Akagi, myself, Souryu, and Likely Hiryuu… Lost in a day. The Kido Butai burnt asunder, and they weren't able to do anything about it.

I truly pitied them.

Secondly, Those who died immediately to shortly after when the bombs hit. Their accounts were… rather disjointed. They had barely any time to process the news that dive bombers were above us and that they were trying to avoid the bombs when they… died.

To find out I had sunken, that the rest of the Kido Butai was … essentially gone. Of that, they were surprised, shocked and… ultimately understanding of what had happened, even if struggling to accept the fact from the others. Learning of the raging fires, they were… deeply saddened I had to go through that.

Thirdly, those of the crew who'd died after the first bomb hit. Those who knew that others had taken hits and were burning, when they had been fighting fires or … or when they had burnt to death or choked and choked--- They were more sullen the first two, knowing that they had failed to save me; or perhaps annoyed that the order to scuttle me was given. Or both.

Fourthly and finally… Were the survivors. Given orders to abandon ship, they were the most apologetic to me and perhaps the ones that faced the most annoyance that they hadn't tried harder. I… still didn't blame them, given the circumstances.

They were also the ones who had to witness Hagikaze doing her work, torpedoing me with a pair of her torpedoes at 1925- no, at 1625 JST Hours. I… could still feel the ache of where they had hit me somehow.

Then they watched as I slipped under the waves, and at around that time? They- Well, they suddenly woke up back here in a blink, which wasn't pleasant as they either squinted in the dark and faced sudden light — or flailed around for a few moments in their beds thinking they were still in the water.

To be fair, they were in water until they weren't.

To me, The Kaga. Apparently, before I woke up… …. Oh yes, I- I… I had died hadn't I? ….. The me who wasn't- no, who was Kaga. But who wasn't Kaga but- …. I …. This wasn't the time. And I knew I… probably…. Probably most certainly wasn't her.

Right?

I shook my head and refocused on the nighttime waves and clouds. Where was I again? Ah yes, they had woken back up on me, Kaga and… had spent their time inefficiently, running around like headless chickens, wondering… wondering what the hell happened or if they were going crazy.

And then the engines switched on, waking me up. They… had also apparently really hadn't expected that. They'd apparently worked through plenty of problems during the time I had spent… being foolish, as well.

After that, well… "I see," I quietly said "Thank you, Get some sleep." I commended them and they… solemnly and rather tiredly nodded.

I didn't blame them. After all, I hadn't exactly expected my inquiry to be taken so seriously so to speak. I had initially intended for it to be a soft question, directed at those on the night watch and perhaps those still awake.

Instead? It turned out to be more of a discussion group gathering up every single member of my crew, airing out all of those issues and time inconsistencies, and trying to form a collective and solid timeline of events.

But now with that over, and the night dragging on… it was time for them to sleep. And that, of course, pleases me. I … had many plans for them tomorrow, and they would need to be in the best shape (and as best rested as they could) as possible.

More minutes passed with relatively little talking, and with drinking in the sight of … well, the nighttime sky, the moonlit waves, and the sound of the wind.

Despite my zig-zagging- now slowly turning into more of an automatic response than something I had to focus on-- I now had the time to … simply enjoy this experience.

Staring up at the moon, and the stars, trying to figure out where I was, knowing I didn't have much of that skill set and just resolving myself to appreciate their beauty all the same.

It was with that of which the hours passed by in silence. Every so often I would break that line of sight to glance around, to make sure of my safety, then turn my eyes back up at the sky.

All of this combined made for a wonderfully peaceful experience.

But, this was interrupted ever so slightly when I felt my Captain come out on my deck, walking to its edge.

"Desu, dess desu dess?" My captain was the one who first spoke up. I thought for a moment, not sure how to respond and yet? "Hai" I began, "Hai sōdane," I spoke out non-pulsed and rather flatly. Why? Was I tired or something?

And yet? What… was I … what had I even said? I couldn't understand it. A few minutes passed and I found myself staring down at… her, yes, her. Just a small glance, but one that caught sight of a rather tired look. I find myself frowning in concern.

"... Yasumu," I finally said, "Watashi wa miru," as I stared down firmly (and rather crossly) at the captain. Because yes I could keep watch, much more than this clearly exhausted captain. The deep bags under her eyes were rather telling I had to admit.

But then? "Desu Dess.. Desu desu, hey hey, hey hey hey," My captain began once more, surprisingly switching to English halfway her voice falling to a nearly silent whisper that only I could hear. She sounded rather accusatory and somewhat lost.

And to this, I scowled heavily. "Watashi wa Kaga," I emphasized with slight irritation and a twitch of a brow, but then let out a long sigh, nodding rather slowly "Sukunakutomo, kanzende wa nai," I mumbled out equally quietly, unsure of what exactly I was saying.

And after a moment? I continued after a deep breath. "Watashi wa mada sore o rikai shiteinai . Fukuzatsunanda," I whispered.

And wasn't that the truth? I let out a breath, letting my side ponytail fall along with my face as I bowed. "Mōshiwakenai" I exhaled, letting my eyes trail on the water and not anywhere near the captain.

As the minutes passed, however… "Desu dess," She responded, "Dess… desu desu," She continued in her quiet state. At that point? I… realized that she stared down at the water as well.

Then "Desu dess, dess desu desu?" She not just asked, but stated with a no-nonsense attitude. And, well? I … flinched for one heartstopping moment as I squeezed my eyes shut.

"... Hai," I admitted after a short moment. The answer was yes, yes I did know more than I was letting on.

At least, I might have thought I did. But… "It is," I trailed off, searching for any words to describe… Ultimately? "Complicated, messy, and I am trying to make sense of it all," I eventually admitted with a bashful whisper.

How else was I supposed to explain it? Because yes, yes it was one huge mess to understand.

And thus, we silently continued the night's cruise.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

0425 Hours,
90 NMI North away from (presumably) Midway….

Slowly but surely, the morning came back around - and much to my satisfaction? Nothing much had happened.

Yes, it was suspicious, I had to admit, but it was ultimately something I didn't want to look in the mouth of. So, I simply resolved to enjoy the slow climbing of the sun in the sky.

Of course? I was not a lethargic, drunken beaver with a hangover and I was, in fact, rather busy in a sense. Like my calculations of when I wanted to get everything ready, of when I perhaps wanted to get everything launched and all of that.

Going by my calculations, I would likely want to get ready to launch these scouts rather early, so that …. If … if they find what I am secretly not wanting to find? I… What did I not want to find? Why did It matter? I shake my head slowly.

I should have enough time to firmly change course, and to get a combat air patrol ready. It wasn't as if I was going to go without it, but I perhaps wanted to do just that in case to make sure that no… surprises… pop up. "Radios?" I said simply and that word spoke some volumes. The girls perked up quietly at the sound of my voice before shaking their heads. "Desu dess desu," A few of them muttered and "I see. Continue," I acknowledged.

I could only sigh in frustration. Still… nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing except just a few annoyances, of what these well-valued members of the crew could absolutely swear could almost hear the very faint sounds of music.

Music which if they actually focused or tried to home in on, faded away to static. Other times they could have sworn it was faint giggling or laughter, voices pleading, whispering to join them, gasping, drowning, choking in pain, asking for help… these were rare but every so often why they weren't paying attention…

Well, the amount of breaks they've needed to take was impressively annoying. I didn't blame them, it was unnerving, having to listen to pure static most of the time and then having to deal with whatever these were for that extra small moment.

Still unmentioned were the hours of listening to this static, when that shift had woken up, to when they had gone to bed late that night… listening to soft static and then out of the blue all of that other junk.

Whatever the case, well, I sighed before muttering to myself "Should be another hour until Nautical Twilight," before letting my eyes rest for a moment with a deep exhale.

I had done some thinking over these hours of just what exactly I wanted for a search pattern, or for what I wanted for a search pattern, but, "Agh," I hissed oh-so quietly, opening my eyes and staring down at my hands.

"Why?" I muttered with a slight glare. What exactly was wrong with me? It… was bloody hard to visualize what I wanted to happen- but at least with the course setting I could think about it and set it … set it where again? And why?

"What is wrong with me?" I… took a deep breath and shook my head. "Must be still affected by the sinking," I quietly accepted. "Stop being so shaken, Kaga," I told myself sharply, digging my hands into my hakama.

I knew it must have been it, but thinking about it sent another sharp sting through my head.

It really was annoying, but… what did I even want to launch? I hissed in slight frustration. How could I even get a thought going of what I wanted to organize up for launch if it kept slipping away from me? There always was an endlessly shifting plan of numbers and how I wanted to do it, never quite settling for one or the other.

Or worse, repeating it constantly trying to make sure the numbers added up.

But… I take another deep breath, and I try to calm down. It was hard work, but I knew I would have accomplished nothing if I allowed my frustrations to run rampant.

And yet still? I… was frustrated, I was annoyed and… Ah. I… alright. I think I… finally got something of a plan. Yes, I could perhaps ask for some paper, maybe a pen, or pencil, or something to get my thoughts down in order. But I had a thought, and I wasn't sure where it came from, or why I thought of it.

Or how exactly they would give me these note-taking tools if they were so small in the first place?

Wedges upon wedges, and… I think I had my idea. Where did it come from? I didn't know, but it was decided. With that, I finally gave a soft smile. Now, what was next? Well, sending it to the mission board of course!

I … wasn't sure exactly how that got done, but it happened anyway.

Next, of course, came readying the strike. That part, at least, was… perhaps a little easier than I had been expecting.

I might not have had anything in the quiver at the moment… but, as I had discovered? That quiver... Essentially was my hangar. Or, at least I suspected it to be. It was long enough, essentially almost the length of my flight deck.

And from there, getting planes ready on my flight deck, or, as I suspected, arrows in my quiver, ready for launching from my Yumi, should be as simple as;

"I want planes on the flight deck," I started simply, alerting my captain and others that "Ready the Kanko Buntai for Scouting, and the Kansen Buntai with the 6th Kokutai for CAP. Chūtai's for both Buntai's. Brief Kanko on the specified Scouting Plan." I ordered calmly and with a short huff as I rolled my shoulders and … brushed a hand through my side ponytail.

I… did acknowledge almost how hard those orders were to get out, or the way I had almost devolved into rambling… but I had gotten it down.

What I hadn't necessarily expected, then, was for my own crew- now just getting started with their days, to start questioning me. Like, Why I had ordered so many planes for scouting.

And why was I allocating so many fighters for the CAP when I should be using them as escorts for a possible strike against the enemy carriers oh-so-surely out there?

And to all of those, while the hangar crew worked to get the planes spotted for this morning's plan?

I … took a deep breath, and "We… need to talk," it was a simple command and they listened. "Our performance was… abysmal in that battle," The word forces itself out from my throat and information… slowly makes its way into my mind, and I… wasn't sure how I knew but- "Our strategic plan was horrid, we were foolish and overconfident, believing we could just crush them with ease on the open ocean and they would simply just follow a script, and that we would accomplish everything in a matter of 3 days- unrealistic doesn't begin to describe it," I began quietly, struggling to get it all out.

The silence, if one could ignore the running engines and preparations of planes, was deafening.

And that thought, that… we were foolish, that we were… arrogant? Had… had stung something fierce. We- We… we… were the first carrier division, weren't we? We deserved that arrogance, didn't we? After all, we were the best in the world, weren't we? Me and Akagi… Yes, the best that Japan had to show to the world.

Y-Yes, it wasn't us, it - it… it was that boastful upstart little crane who was truly arrogant! And what sort of victories did she have to show for herself as opposed to us in the first carrier division? Nothing really, just trifling scraps.

… But hadn't she come out essentially unscaht- …. No time for useless thoughts like those.

….

But… yes, perhaps we had made something of a misstep there.

That arrogant, bullish little crane probably made many more missteps, clearly.

I took a deep breath. "Our tactical acumen was impressive, but we were overwhelmed and kept off the initiative by their constant air attacks," I began after that long stretch of silence. "Midway," I hesitated but the dagger drove itself sharp into my mind "Operation C was a virtual dress rehearsal for Midway," I spat out as the knowledge pushed deeper and deeper.

"Desu dess desu!" One of them protested but "We completely failed in reconnaissance and fleet defence; Nagumo's indecisiveness nearly led to disaster! Note how those 12 Blenheims gained complete surprise on us," I snapped back before exhaling.

"We accomplished much- but only against an outnumbered and ill-prepared enemy in that operation," I mumbled, "The American Dive Bombers came out of nowhere, we needed Radar," I added, letting my ponytail hang low at the burning memory.

"Desu dess?" Another tried to fight back, and "Yes, we were fine all those other times, but I know as well as you we never really had a break after Pearl Harbour, constantly driven further and further," I retorted, and then there was silence yet again. "Our CAP and reconnaissance and intelligence were neglected, wasn't given enough planes, resources, and certainly wasn't good enough at identifying ships, I…" I trailed off quietly.

And I? I was tired. "Look, I… our Damage Control-" And the team perked up, causing my lips to twitch, "Our damage control did… admirably considering what they were up against, but," I forced the word out, "But everyone needs training on how to fight fires, to stop flooding. I… do not want a repeat of- that," I stopped myself from saying that word, of just how obvious it was.

And they, the damage control officers, the captain and, yes, even the damage control teams, proud as they were, nodded resolutely to this.

"Plan up drills- we'll do them later today, after I've launched them and we'll make sure everyone is up to at least half of your standards," I said, "The same goes for the anti-aircraft crews and everyone else, I want everyone drilled and ready" I turned to stare down at them, "We need to dust off our skills to make sure that this doesn't happen again," I said firmly.

"Which is why we shall endeavour to keep up a nine-plane Combat Air Patrol, which I plan to swap off for resupply and rest as need be. This is why I ordered up two Chūtai's- as one lands to resupply, another should ideally be ready and launching to take their place when they start coming in to land," I explained my decisions surprisingly lucidly… but why was this a surprise?

"I … I don't want to be caught by surprise, but… I suppose you are right about the misallocation of resources," I admitted, cocking my head softly.

Then the minutes passed by, and things went… back to a relative state of normal. Crew waking up, going to the mess to eat breakfast, and this causes me to give a short smile.

"Desu dess, desu dess," My Captain soothed, her face turned down with sadness, "Desu dess dess desu," She continued, something about how it was going to be alright or something like that. I smiled… but I frowned even heavier.

There was yet another monster of a headache starting to form … and… god it made me feel sick. "Why were they there?" I quietly asked, "Has no one questioned why they were there? Why would they die for something like Sand Island? Why would we try invading in the first place when the Americans could simply just blockade any supply from getting through with their submarines? Why did they even try to fight us if that was the case?" I said tiredly, feeling more and more sick… somehow.

"Desu dess?" My captain, and yes, even those few information officers questioned my words.

I… I took a deep breath, in … and out, "Sorry," I mumbled, "It just… something doesn't feel right about that," I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Not like it wasn't too hard at any rate.

"Desu.. dess, desu dess desu," She soothingly told me "Thank you," I responded to her with a nod.

What else could I even say? I… wasn't even sure if… what these memories were telling me were true, and… where … if …. If they were right about what had happened… Where was I going to even go next?

Pearl Harbour? That… no, that was… that was just stupid… I had to focus and be ready for launching as soon as I could, and this wasn't helping.

And so, I quietly waited, listening to the weak discussion of the crew over what else might have gone wrong.

… and… I… didn't want to crush their spirits by telling them that we had lost.

I had a feeling that we had lost hard, and It wasn't just Midway. I… wasn't sure about it but I could feel it to be true, despite the almost foggy nature of it all.

As I quietly debated endlessly in my head, it seemed no time at all until I could feel an odd sensation and the call of the crew; the planes were on deck!

Wordlessly, I began pushing my engines. It was getting closer to my scheduled plane launch, and I needed to be ready. I checked the clock and "Perfect, just about time," I nodded to myself, eying up the outlines of a rising sun in the distance before taking a deep breath.

"Sentouhaichi" I commanded, feeling my crew leap to an alerted state of readiness as I seamlessly began turning into the wind…

Chapter Text

0505 Hours
90 Nmi from (presumably) Midway

I took in a silent but deep breath as I grabbed that first arrow out of my quiver.

I could feel it was a Shōtai of my Kanko Buntai, and… Well, I could have sworn those ordinarily sat at the back of the line, spotted towards the end of the deck (for fairness, they usually carried the heaviest ordinance and thus needed the longest deck space to lift off from), but I really couldn't exactly complain, now could I?

I then gently mated the arrow against the bow, taking in a deep breath, and readying myself. Then I notched it, and began raising it, drawing it back, arm folding to the elbow… lowering it slightly, locking onto an ever-distant target…

Release. TWANG! The sound echoed out from the bow as I watched the arrow fly forward and eventually burst! Into a flight of 3 Type 97 B5N2 carrier attack planes, lifting towards the sky.

It was something of a mystery exactly how one measly arrow could hold even three of them… but I don't question that. Perhaps it was more of a representation of them? But…

Instead? I only stare at my hands, questioning silently; Why was it so sloppy? If… If Hoshou were here, she would likely give me remedial lessons in launching planes. I lightly shudder but shake my head and side ponytail, focusing on what I was supposed to be doing.

I repeat my task; Grabbing the second Shōtai of my Kanko Buntai, another arrow, notching, raising, folding arm to the elbow, lowering, drawing, releasing- TWANG! And on it flies.

Once again, it bursts into a flight, and as expected, I was left feeling… a little bit empty. Why exactly was it so bad? As if I were just a mere student once more, still training in the ways of launching, of performing archery…

Was this how I had ever done it back on my hull? How could I ever do so when I didn't have a bow? Of course, I launched planes, but never quite so directly as to launch them from a bow and arrow…

Yet somehow it was like this. Was it perhaps more of my skill in launching planes being transferred to that of launching them with a bow? I knew that was plausible and… yet perhaps then it was rendered true; It seemed as if I barely launched a plane in my life. It was just that sloppy.

I grabbed a third arrow, the last of the chosen Kanko Buntai's Chūtai, and I swiftly repeated my action with a light frown. I go through the motions faster than before, and- TWANG! Losing the air, Bursting, another three, and yet…

So Mediocre, why? Why was it just so… not good?

Akagi-san would be ashamed, I chide myself, sighing as I grabbed- I paused and looked back at the quiver, then squinted at the plumage and grabbed the first arrow of the 6th Kokutai, containing 3 Type 00 A6M2 carrier fighters and "You may need a name change now that you're going to be with me for a little while longer," I said musing down at the arrow with a thoughtful look on my face.

But, regardless of what rather unimpressed reactions those pilots must have had, I notched them into the bow, raised it, drew back, bending the elbow, noting just how much lighter they were in comparison.

With another few moments of musing on their state, I released them, and like flowing water, I found myself immediately pulling for another yes. I might have made that same mistake, but after a quick look back, I corrected that error.

"Perhaps I should have left the Kantai Buntai in the Hangar; might have made it a bit more efficient," I hummed to myself as I notched this new section, following the procedure safely, all before Twang! And out flew another arrow.

I take a moment to look out and … a small smile graces my features. Yes, despite this odd mediocrity, It seemed it was… well, perhaps okay.

My shooting might have been rather disappointing (Why?), but this… wasn't the worst, I had to suppose.

And so, I reached for the last arrow and thankfully grabbed the right one, once again looking over it, thumb over the plumage, staring at my hands… pausing and shaking my head as I notched it in-raised, drew back to the elbow, lowered… hold… *Twang!* It leapt from my hand and I … Well, I smiled a bit firmer now.

"Okay, that's… the scouting group and our first CAP rotation up." I murmured before, "They will be up there for 3 or so hours- let me know when they need to come in for landing so I can launch the Kantai Buntai's Chūtai to take their place for the next three hours, okay?" I said, and, well, the air officers nodded sharply and got back to their tasks.

An awkward silence then seemed to take centre stage as "You didn't think I'd forget about those drills, did you?" I flatly stated, quite unamused, tapping my finger on my arm.

And at that? Well, some of the crew… seemed to cringe heavily, while the other half seemed to perk up. Others yet still looked resigned to their task, or perhaps determined to do their best.

But unfortunately for them? I wasn't going to be very relenting. I…I never wanted to go through that again. I never wanted to be vulnerable like that again.

… Well, perhaps I would relent just a little bit; I didn't want to completely exhaust them, especially if I was going to be attacked.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

And so, the training began. I watched rather contentedly with … maybe something of a hidden smile as I eyed up the crew in their struggle to learn Damage Control. They made a lot of errors, I had to admit, but it was… surprisingly wholesome to watch them get back up and try again and again and again.

Of course, the turnout rate… well, wasn't exactly the best, and considering just how many crew I had, compared to and matched with the size of my Damage control teams, not to mention officers?

Well, was it any surprise that it was taking time? "Air officer? Get the next Chūtai of Kanko Buntai- they should be over the target within the next few hours - I would rather not have any nasty surprises in between that and their return trip," I said with a firm nod. This time? This time, there wasn't any fuss.

And indeed, those of that Chūtai were pretty happy, it seemed, to finally get some airtime. And I… I didn't blame them.

Because rather plainly, my Kanbaku Buntai carrier bombers were perhaps feeling a bit sour on missing out on the supposed action… which… hmmm….

"Actually," I added after a moment, "It may be wise to get a fuller picture of the situation," I mused, getting a hopefully well-thought-out idea… or perhaps just a snap decision.

"Ready up the Kanbaku Buntai, use the wedges, and position them behind and to the sides of us; just a Chūtai, doesn't need to be as wide or long", I clarified, as this? This, combined with sending out another Chūtai as soon as that one was done, should help with launching and landing practice for them.

And, well, this time, they do raise up something of a fuss. And who really could blame them? "Desu dess desu?" My Air Officer Commander, Amagai Takahisa, spoke up in a fuss. "Yes, I understand that we're not giving ourselves much of a fast attack response. I agree, that is a problem," I sighed, resting my hand over my forehead.

Why was it that hadn't I thought of that? Why hadn't I considered it? Perhaps it sounded good on paper, but?

"I… don't expect much out there," I admitted, "But I suppose limiting the search pattern because of the range will also help us recover them faster?" I mused briefly before exhaling and refocusing on the rightfully exasperated girl.

"Consider it a training exercise, to get them used to things and getting active," I said after another moment.

"If we need to launch a strike, then we will recover them and do so procedurally and in good order," I finished after another few moments.

Perhaps it was nothing more than a face-saving gesture, but, well, she sighed and saluted "Desu desu dess." She saluted and went back to what she was doing… mostly overseeing the drills.

Thus, to my orders, the Kanbaku Carrier Bomber crews had their small moment of cheer in the hangar bay- before getting swatted on the head to pay attention to their damage control drills ahead of them.

Served them right, I couldn't quite help but smirk. On the other end? My gunnery crew was, well, also quite hard at work- firing and testing firing the large 50 calibres 3rd Year Type No. 1 20 cm casemated cannons, and brightening the sky with the smaller 40 Kokei Hachikyu Shiki 12 Senchi 7 Kokakuho - or 12.7 cm cannon, followed and assisted by my much smaller anti-aircraft gun, the Kyūroku-Shiki nijyūgo-miri Kōkakukijū… or rather, the Type 96 25 mm AA gun.

Yes, they might have been trying to fire at nigh invisible targets, the much further away CAP… but perhaps I couldn't blame them for doing their drills. What was important, then, was reducing reload times, getting the ammo up there in advance, and making sure we were ready for anything.

As ready as we could be at least.

But even I was still not quite sure what we would find- or what we would have to face-- would it be the American Carrier Force? The Air Garrison at Midway? Or… What else could there even be?

To this, my head once again throbbed, and I sighed, rubbing it gently once again.

The time passed by relatively calmly, and it didn't seem to take that much time at all until the next 18 planes were on deck. And… A little ping sounded off in my mind, an air officer letting me know that it had been "Ah, I see," I murmured, brushing my hand against my fighter plane Shōtai's.

It was reaching three hours, and that meant a change was necessary.

"Good work," I said on the radio to the rather diligent CAP who were … bored out of their minds, I could feel.

I suppressed a smile, "I'll get you relieved, start losing altitude and come in for a landing," I ordered, and they, well, they cheered.

I… wasn't going to tell them that they were to be doing drills once they landed. It felt a bit too cruel. Once again, I got to work, and once again started with the carrier attack planes.

They were the most important to get up, mostly because they were the heaviest, some part because the next round of the Kantai Buntai needed to get to their planes, but also because the scouting was going to take longer than anticipated.

I notched an arrow and got to work, raising, drawing, lowering, letting loose the arrow- TWANG! The sound roared out, and a Shōtai flew off.

Despite my assumed closeness to Midway, to Sand Island, or perhaps just the Atoll itself in general, it was going to take quite a bit longer than just a few hours for both my scouting and for us to get there.

"Right," I stared off for a moment, shaking my head and getting back to work. Why had I gotten distracted like that? I pick up another arrow, notch, raise, draw, lower, TWANG! It echoed out, and the next three flew off.

I did not plan to relent, following my momentum and not dwelling on my thoughts. One TWANG after another, flowing and focused. But it was hard. Hard not to get overwhelmed with plans and everything.

I was supposed to be calm, collected, and focused, but… I wasn't. Why?

TWANG Off went the first of my Type 99 D3A1 carrier bombers.

I had altered my course and my scout pattern.

I go through the motions, notching, raising, drawing, releasing, TWANG Went their Shōtai, flying off in their directions.

Yes, I'd altered it, having myself hang back till I could confirm if .... if it was there, and what was going on. Accordingly-

TWANG! Their last section launched, and I nodded before briefly turning into myself to examine the arrows and … yes, they were waiting.

"Satisfactory time, but you should have been there when they signalled the shift," I commented with some slight disapproval, but ultimately shook my head at their protests, something about drills and being tired… I don't pay it any mind, but I do acknowledge it.

Perhaps laying off the drills for a rest?

"Halt the drills, give them an hour's break, then continue," I ordered. I could feel the way the crew collectively slumped, and in that moment I TWANG! Let loose the first of the next flight of A6M2s for CAP.

They would learn this routine, and they would learn to embrace it. For without it we were… sitting ducks so to speak. Roasted ducks.

Hmm.

That sounded… interesting.

Tasty perhaps?

But, well, yes. I had told my first group of scouting planes from the Kanko Buntai to head to a specific point on the map and to turn in from there to begin the search pattern.

And admittedly, it was an afterthought - much after they had been launched, to my embarrassment.

This should hopefully-
TWANG! Rang another three fighters launching, and I sighed as I flowed into the last one, drawing, raising, lowering, pulling back, focusing for a moment- TWANG! Roared out the last three fighters.

"That should be the last of them," I commented with a sigh, letting my fingers relax. Why exactly did they ache so much? Perhaps I had been doing a lot of launching, but surely it wasn't that bad, was it?

"Desu dess!" I could hear the crew call and… Ah. I turn around and oh. That fighter was close. I panicked- but why did I feel like I should have panicked?

Instead, I wordlessly swivelled my flight deck left arm out, aligning it and lifting it towards the plane, and within a moment it… shrunk down steadily to the size of a model plane and carefully landed with precision. And ever so rapidly did the deck crew drag it down under to be refuelled and looked at in my hangar bays.

"Hmm," I stated, raising my eyebrow. I hadn't exactly been expecting that of all things. And more fighters were coming in.

It was a lot more of a quiet experience, leaving me with gaps to think to myself.

What was I thinking again? Ah yes, it should hopefully provide a good disguise of where we were launching from, possibly confusing whatever enemy out there… and for our course-

I pause, seamlessly 'catching' another fighter.

For our course, I decided wisely to manoeuvre (or perhaps orbit?) around said island from a distance. If … it turned out to be hostile, as it very likely was, it would be a rather poor decision to be so close to it. If I needed to get away, that was.

As the next fighter came in, completing the first Shōtai, I let out a loud sigh.

"This is going to take a while," I find myself whispering.

And yet still, my command bridge- well, more of my head -- kept pounding incessantly. "I… see," I hummed, "We need to double our ship identification efforts from the air, Hiryu gave it her best shot but… she- must have targeted the same Yorktown class twice, mistaking her for another carrier due to the repair efforts of their crew" I mumbled, yet… yet the crew somehow heard my insights and slouched.

How could I have known this? I … had sunk before her, didn't I? I sighed loudly. "Sorry, I am not sure what I was talking about," I paused that comment once again, shaking my head. "I just don't know- never mind."

I wasn't sure how or why I knew it to be true… yet I did.

… These were going to be a very slow few hours, weren't they?

Whatever the case, I sigh as I relieve my crew from their "Sentouhaichi", or rather, Battle stations…

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

0622 Hours
90 Nmi from (presumably) Midway

Caution, it seemed, was a slow and insidious killer of time. Of this, I mused oh so very quietly in my mind. And why did I do so?
Things were… taking a while. "They should be within visual distance in the next 20 minutes," I commented briefly, cooly mumbling to myself.

This, of course, had caught the attention of nearly everyone on board… me. I stared down at the water, holding my chin and humming to myself.

Why? I… did not exactly know. Something about that felt weird. And the thought that they … were my crew, and yet also girls and my crew? Surely something was just a bit odd about that, yes? I knew some of them survived my sinking, I saw them…

Surely they didn't just 'appear' back on me- but… what would that even suggest? That they-

"Desu… desu desu!" I could hear an alarm in my pilot's tone, and "Ah, what is it?" I snapped to attention, glancing up at the sky.

Oh… it had already been 20 minutes? Why had my musings taken that long?

And almost by instinct, I concentrated and my vision flickered for a moment before - I suddenly found myself looking through the pilot's eyes.

"So, what did … you… find…" I trailed off as I followed the observer's gaze as she peered through the glass of the Nakajima B5N2- she might not have been piloting, but her role was just as important, if not more so, given everything.

And what I saw was… something.

"Oh…" I softly said. "Midway is…Ah, well, no…" I hesitated, feeling the weight of the stares from my crew and "Desu desu desu?" and of my captain.

I took a deep breath, feeling what she wanted to communicate, "Sand Island is… bigger, perhaps significantly or perhaps slightly. We can see it's bigger, and it seems as if they've got a second airfield there, but conversely, Eastern Island lacks any hangars or any active airfield" And … oh jeez, they did not like that one.

"But, it seems as if almost all of the fortifications are gone, a few are remaining- but those are not manned… and… there doesn't seem to be any activity on either island. No fighters, no bombers, nothing," I continued with a soft tone, "Meaning," I began after a moment, "Desu desu dess," Ended my captain.

Midway had been abandoned.

But the question of why was on everyone's minds, and indeed tongues, as whispering and talking broke out almost immediately after that realisation.

Why was Midway Atoll Abandoned?

This… I did- did not… didn't … did… did not. I did not know.

"There should at least be some form of permanent settlement on Sand Island… Any luck?" I said, pulling back to my vision.

And the answers to that question were, as it seemed, eerily similar. Nothing on the Sand or Eastern Islands, and certainly nothing on the miniature 'spit' island.

My crew were… questioning it, to say the least.

"I suppose we should start moving in now," I said, and, well, there was a collective noise of determination that came from the crew and … essentially everyone.

We needed to find out what the hell was going on.

And so, with an impassive frown marking my face, I turned hard to starboard and increased speed to 20 knots.

"Desu desu desu desu dess," My captain said, gently rubbing her head in a tired frustration, and I… I sighed.

"Watashi mo sō negauyo", I whispered back.

I hoped everything makes sense soon, as well, Captain.

Maybe… maybe then, maybe then, my head would stop feeling like it was spinning endlessly. Maybe it would stop whispering in my ear, telling me that I… I knew I wasn't Kaga.

I knew it for a fact that I was, I … I remembered Tosa, I remembered my annoyance for Akagi, I remembered my friendship, and I certainly remembered that upstart little crane arrogantly strutting around as if she owned the skies.

She clearly didn't.

It… it was sort of getting hard to forget the fact that I was Kaga, and I wasn't stupid, but… maybe… maybe I wasn't Kaga? No, I-... Right, maybe visiting Midway Atoll would help me clear my head.
 
It had too. 

Chapter Text

AN: And here is the last chapter for the month! Honestly, really impressed with myself here tbh, didn't think I would keep to a schedule to keep an actually running fic updated....

Anyhow, this one is... eh, kind of filler? Not quite. It is a chapter and does reveal information... probably.

Also, got to 1600 words with Chapter 6  . Still, I do plan for the roughly shorter chapter, and what I've written for chapter 6 helps get that nailed down a lot.

So... ON TO THE KAGANADA!



... Or perhaps the most mentally scrambled boat ye shall ever feast your eyes on.

1127 Hours
Midway Atoll, Sand Island

And so we sat there.
All of us.
All 1,709 of us.

I had recovered my scouts and Combat Air Patrol early, landing them and getting them comfortable, allowing them to rest, and cancelling the exercises planned for the next hours, following the feeling in my gut telling me I… wouldn't be needing them for the moment.

And so I sat there in a quiet Seiza. Unsure of what to even do with myself, I let my side ponytail rest softly across my shoulder as I stared at the Granite Monument.

After that, I listened to the waves ahead, and I closed my eyes. It was… peaceful. Yes, the waves crashing on the shore ahead of me were indeed peaceful.

If… only the words on it weren't quite so unsettling. Perhaps my crew seemed to agree. Their tiny forms strewn out on the sand and the stones that lead up to it.

My shoulders quietly slouched as I lowered my head.

It… was incredibly peaceful here. The air gently caressing my face, the sun giving me the warmth it emitted… and other than that there was silence. No people- oh… well… other than the silence of my… what was I even supposed to call them? Little people?... Or.. Just my crew? No, they were much too little… and could somehow enter into me through my clothing and… hmm

So perhaps there was some sort of magical aspect to it.

Then there were the birds.

Which I…. I didn't particularly enjoy their existence at the moment, but I could brush those dumb birds off.

After all? I… was not Kaga. Yes, I could feel it with a strong degree of certainty. After all, things on this Island lined up with a startling degree to provide me with a good point of mental stability.

I …

I knew I most likely most probably wasn't, at least wasn't Kaga, especially because of what lay on that relatively small granite monument, and what had captured the attention of so many because of so little.

Perhaps not much of a fraction, perhaps just a mere 6.5% counted against everyone here. 1709, including myself, was entranced by the existence of a mere 111 words.

I wasn't exactly sure why, but… I sighed in slight content.

I knew I probably wasn't Kaga, and this only solidified that. It brought peace to my mind, even if that peace was perhaps mired in confusion and slight uncertainty.

But was I really not Kaga? Well… I…. I was certain of the fact, I knew I wasn't, because I remembered dying and that made sense, so surely that meant something -- perhaps I shouldn't muse on such things.

It wasn't exactly the nicest thing to do when I saw the crew slumping and staring at that monument in disbelief. Perhaps even beyond disbelief, of … trying to understand it. Why it said what it did, or perhaps even if-

"Desu desu desu desu dess!" One of my pilots speaks up in her uniform, hair running free as she shakes her head, her fist against the monument and sky. "Desu desu desu dess!" She spoke up once again, seeming to raise the spirits of some of them.

Something about Americans propagandised lies, about it being a pack of nonsense. Perhaps I could see an interpretation of it being the case… but it clearly wasn't.

"You've seen the changes, the altered state of things before you," I began slowly, starting to gesture around myself "The papers, their dates, all of those utterly random chunks of information inside of them, these strange objects and buildings, the state of the runways, almost a complete separation of what we thought we knew about Midway Atoll against what we have experienced and discovered about the atoll together across these couple of hours," I quietly continued to speak, feeling their beady eyes lock onto me.

And why wasn't I rambling? I… I usually always rambled. And why exactly was I being so formal? And so … verbose? I… knew I would have messed it up somehow, so why?

"Therefore, given the new knowledge of the island we have now accrued… it's clear we were not when we once were, not even June, nor the 4th, and certainly not 1942," I sighed, "It is very improbable for all of this to be some sort of elaborate set up, You know this to be true," I stated, letting my side ponytail drop along with my head to tiredly stare at the small form of that equally small pilot.

… hmm. If the planes expanded to full size once airborne, and shrunk down to a model size when landing… then what happens to these pilots? This really wasn't the time for those questions.

She…. does not take my comment very lightly, to say the least. Immediately after, tears start to gather in her eyes. To her credit, she tries to get rid of them, trying to rub them away from her eyes with her arm and hands… but failing. And failing miserably.

Immediately, her cheeks tinted with shame at herself… yet she just didn't stop. Eventually throwing her helmet to the ground in a "Desu!" she shouted, openly sobbing, "Desu desu desu!" She said with a sudden snarl, tugging her long hair sharply before gesturing down at herself in deep frustration.

"Desu dess desu desu desu! Desu desu desu dess? Desu desu desu dess desu desu?!" She screamed up at me hotly, with tears streaming down her cheeks and… I was quiet, just like the rest of my crew.

Or perhaps most of them, others still staring in empathy at this pilot.

She… had a point, I supposed. She was upset about being like this, questioning what was even the point of what we even had left to fight for, if Japan was gone, and … what did we even have left? What had a final victory meant? Where were we meant to even go if it was all over?

I mulled over her response for a few seconds before taking a huge breath inwards.

Things… were still messy. I knew I was not Kaga, right- no, yes, I was not her. That much was clear. But - but perhaps she was still influencing me, and… and maybe she was affecting my memories? Yes, they were a bit distant right now, but that was clearly the only real explanation for everything.

I still didn't know, and it ever caused my head to ache.

My head did hurt, and I eventually sighed loudly. "We are… not sure what happened after," I softly began to speak again, "And we should not assume the worst," I stared gently at my sniffling pilot. "For example… I am confident the Yorktown or perhaps the Hornet were sunk," I exhaled for a moment.

"But moping around isn't going to help.. and… " I hesitated at the weight of the headache, "I … get the feeling we may have more work to do," I sighed, extending my hand and finger, ever so gently and carefully rubbing her back.

And my comment piques their interest, and they… raise their heads. Including one tear-strained, red-faced pilot girl of mine whom I kept rubbing on the back with an index finger. Only now, I wasn't sure if it was from the crying, the embarrassment, or perhaps both.

I… I can't help but smile at this, if only just a little bit.

"The Americans… would simply never just abandon Midway and… based on those documents we recovered, they seemed to perhaps be evacuating due to… something." I quietly added on, straightening my shoulders and glancing out at the bay ahead.

"This is quite evident thanks to the sheer lack of those documents… and even if it's just the same evacuation notice," I mumbled, saying thoughtfully as I stared down at the field of tiny crew members.

Then there was the captain staring up at me. She … Well, she looked rather insistent. "Desu… desu dess desu? Dess desu desu dess? Dess desu desu dess, dess desu," She said with an even tone, asking me if there was anything I wanted to tell the crew.

And she said all of this was an expectant look in her eyes. I… take a deep breath at that, drinking in her response and the flat insistence in her voice.

"I… was thinking about heading to Pearl Harbour, to conduct the same search operation, to get solid information," I said and, well, my captain? She just raised her eyebrows before eventually face-palming, sighing, and muttering under her breath.

The rest of the crew just looked gobsmacked at this. "Desu desu desu desu desu desu desu?!" My Operations Officer jumped up, immediately starting to interrogate and berate me sharply with a wild look in her eyes. And I… Well, I winced ever so slightly and sighed. "Yes, I know, I know, it was stupid of me to consider it, and… yes, I did rethink that after I thought about it- It is not like I would be very welcome there… if they haven't evacuated already, that is."

Despite the whole mutterings of the crew, saying something about why exactly I even thought of that in the first place… I winced.

Especially from the gaze of the Captain, who was staring at me with a glare in her eyes. … hmm. Did my Captain Okada Jisaku ever act like this? And- Oh.

Oh, that was what she wanted me to reveal.

Ah… that was… I give a small nod to her, gesturing that I understood.

I closed my eyes for a minute, mulling over exactly how I wanted to broach this to the crew. "I… Have been hiding something from you, I…. am…. I am not … I am not Kaga- not - not really, at least, not entirely, no, uh, probably, look it- it's complicated," I rambled for a few seconds before stopping and taking a deep breath.

"I …think I lived, and died in the 21st Century, and found myself here, as Kaga, but I know I'm not- I- I think i'm not, no, I'm certain I wasn't, I can't be- but maybe I-" I rambled before shaking my head "A-and I'm Canadian… I'm sorry, please forgive me for misleading you," I whispered in shame, hanging my head and squeezing my eyes shut.

It wasn't entirely true, as I was still making sense of it all myself - Was I not Kaga- no, I … I clearly wasn't and… there was no response. They were looking away and muttering to themselves.

"I- … Japan- I … I- Japan still survives, and the Emperor's family still retains power, in a reduced capacity." I breathlessly choke out. "After the war, through the ruins inflicted by American Bombers, they've become a prosperous country," I finished with a hiccup, "- but- but right now," I spoke up, raising my head.

"There was news of ships going missing and ominous clouds and weather a-and I was thinking about those noises you heard on the radio I'm sure you all know about were connected s-somehow a-and I know I am beyond forgiveness but I hoped that would give everyone some purpose beyond just being the crew of a ship that isn't even yours a-and I'm sorry- I" My weeping rambles got interrupted by the sudden engulfment of a thousand seven-hundred and eight Crewmembers and aircrew, now also sounding … relieved and forgiving, and hopeful.

Relieved and elated that Japan still existed despite their loss in the war.

And most importantly, they said that despite how odd it was, I was still their Carrier and they would support me through whatever storm would come.

Thus, it was no surprise that I openly sobbed, no matter how embarrassing it was.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

1236 Hours

It… was somewhat embarrassing how much time had passed when I had dusted myself off and had begun to walk once more. Now with my crew done being… ugh, kind of weird, and well, perhaps I too had been kind of weird…

But, well, I glanced back at the monument… and I sighed, shaking my head at the way my hands clenched in fists as a scornful pride filled my gut.

"Let's … just go find some fuel," I muttered, I take one last odd glare at the monument before taking yet another deep breath and turning around, hearing the soft click clacks of my Geta on the stone.




:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

1457 Hours

After all of that? After thoroughly searching every nook and cranny for food? Well, I finally found something interesting. Something that must have had something in it, if only it didn't take an extra few hours or so. Almost around 2 and a half hours, perhaps.

"Hmm, I… I see," I mumbled, staring down at the never-ending boxes in the warehouse before me. And to me? "It seems like they were… perhaps using Sand Island as a Midpoint for evacuation? Rather, Last minute,"

It was a thought, and one that was supported by the large amount of clutter that was in the room. Jackets, clothes, personal belongings, suitcases, half opened, all of them lying strewn about in one general direction; The Runway. Upon which it got significantly more spaced out. Most likely from Weather or otherwise tampering with the plane, perhaps, but that was the understanding I got from it.

And I… was admittedly surprised. Usually, I get distracted by things. Distracted by things a lot. And to actually try to deduce things like this, which actually sounded rather plausible? That… was weird.

Then another thing catches my eye. Like a little something in the light. I blinked and turned my head towards it. In the corner, there seemed to be another section of pallets. A lot of boxes seemed to be empty or almost empty.

"Interesting," I mused quietly. And… hmm, surely I would have just started rambling any moment now about anything on my mind or gotten distracted yet again… yet I don't.

I instead keep my approach steady with narrow eyes. Creeping closer and closer, eyeing up where the glint was … and I … I blinked in surprise at the box.

"Ichiban means #1!" read the box.

Then I ever so gently pulled back the lid to see a veritable cascade of instant ramen packets. "Sapporo Ichiban, Japanese Style Noodles & Original Flavoured Soup Base; Traditional Quality of Sapporo Ichiban…" I mumbled off a little bit, quite dazed.

What exactly were the odds of finding that out here? … I… I really didn't know. But my crew? My crew was a bit shocked. More than a little bit shocked. Perhaps… flabbergasted and severely confused.

"Desu, dess desu dess? Dess desu…?" My chief logistics officer and Chefs were slowly starting to beam, and oh dear, did the whispers ever travel fast through the crew that there was Ramen available in the Midway Atoll…

Although perhaps only the logistics officers and said chefs truly muttered under their breaths in amazement at the thought of whatever 'Instant' ramen was and the possibilities of storage and food at a near moment's notice.

At that point, a soft smile appeared on my face.

"I see good plans for dinner tonight."

Because yes. This whole section of pallets? It was full of those small rectangular cardboard boxes, all almost full to perhaps almost empty of the same ramen packets.

Yes, I did have good ideas for dinner…

=================

1829 Hours

I let out a sigh as I waited yet further, staring out at the setting sun.

The ramen? Well, that was … not at all getting cold, mind you, but I was sincerely annoyed, yet understanding of why I had to wait.

Perhaps it had been something of a mistake to order a feast using all of these packets. But whatever the case, it was promising to be something special.

And, well, I suppose I had passed the time wisely - as they prepared for this grand feast, so too did I.

Because… I tried having just one. And it… Well, I suppose it was tasty, and making it was a great learning experience for the chefs who were praising its simplicity, who were in full overdrive to make the feast possible.

Because there was also one other thing I discovered - apparently, they could take things aboard. As soon as they picked something up, or if I handed it down to them- it… essentially sized down. Same thing for the other way around. If they gave me something small from inside of myself, and let go, then it suddenly got bigger.

It was confusing but somewhat understandable.

What wasn't confusing was still understandable, but also incredibly annoying? That one bowl of Ramen… proved to be inadequate. Like a mere drop in the lake when it came to satiating the distant gnaw of hunger.

Of course, I was a Proud Carrier of the Kidō Butai; it was only natural that I would need to eat a lot to replenish my resources. Naturally speaking, it was somewhat confusing; how was it that merely eating ramen (if with a few more food items found still somewhat fresh) was supposed to refill my fuel supply?

Not just my fuel supply but my Avgas for my Kōkū Sentai? Yet that first bowl of ramen did, much to the amazement of logistics; and the efficiency of transfer only seemed to increase with the more diversity of food items I added to it; an Egg here, slices of cheese there, some frozen corn pieces and peas in the second and third bowls I made.

All of these, along with some more meat pieces, of recooked hamburgers and bacon chopped up, seemed to really help things out.

Still, the lost ammunition was lost, which was no surprise. On the other hand, it only revealed to me the case of just how much more I would have to add and eat to get myself truly full.

And yes, I would have to do a lot of work.

So too did the chefs in preparation- I ordered them to open up all food resources available to liven up the taste- the duck to cut into pieces, the soy sauce, and yes, the eggs and everything necessary to make this into a real feast.

Yes, my officers might have been a bit grouchy, but the sailors and aircrew were delighted at this grand feast.

And so we came to an unspoken agreement to share in this dinner, to prepare, together, to have one large banquet before settling in for the night.

How was I going to sleep with my rigging attached to myself? Well… maybe I may have had to get it off, but… I wasn't exactly sure how to do this - perhaps it would just have to wait?

… Ugh, I really didn't want to think about it.

But my hands did hurt making all of these bowls of ramen for myself, and only myself.

However, I knew each and every one of them was going to be necessary.

On the other hand? Well, at least my crew would be storing some of the boxes as leftovers?

Finally, finally, the dinner bell rings, gathering the attention of everyone in the mess hall. I could hear my Captain give a short speech that I admittedly shamefully couldn't quite pay attention to at the moment.
 
I… I was hungry, of course.

But still, the thought didn't leave me… What exactly happened? Going by my calculations, it was… essentially around 8 weeks and a month or … or so since my … my passing away. So what exactly happened in that essentially 3-month time period? It seemed to be sometime in September, of that I was for certain, but given just how abandoned this place looked when I arrived here today…

I wasn't exactly sure how or why, but it had been roughly 3 months since the 4th of June, 2022 and-.... and this was just what was available. Had it been longer? The thought filled me with unease, and yet-- Ah, my crew was ready for the feast.

And ever so proudly, do we now raise our chopsticks- or … I suppose in my case, a fork and spoon to the sky, to the ceiling, staring at the setting sun and cheering together "Kanpai!"

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

AN: Aight! Got this done a while back so.... yeah? Welp, ye, enjoy?

September XX? 2022 + 6 Days

0315 Hours - Day 4 of the Journey - 18 Knots of Speed, Heading North East by East, Pacific Ocean

I let out a sigh. It was dark. What else could I even say? The moon was simply unable to be seen, and the weather wasn't the greatest. All of that was perhaps something of a big understatement.

On the plus side, I knew I wouldn't have to zig-zag my way through this; the weather itself was a very solid shield against any would-be attackers. From the sea… or the sky.

But… then again, why exactly was I even worried about that?

Well, that question was easy enough. It gave me something to do, and focusing on the rough waves and cresting through them as I do my best to zig-zag… well, it helped to distract me.

More so than I had been distracted yesterday, that was.

Even so, the incidents resulting from my distracted state had been, thankfully, relatively light. And yet I was… frustrated. Why was I so easily distracted? That was perhaps a lot harder to answer.

But if there was anything that these days of travel helped address… it was the fact that I knew I was not Kaga.

Or… no, well, … I…. I was, or- or…. Or no, I wasn't, …. Or maybe…. "This is stupid," I hissed, the noise from my intercom system- No, my throat was drowned out by whipping winds.

It really was stupid, but it was also a mess to try and unravel, even as I fervently tried to get it out of my command bridge… no, it was my head. 

Which of these memories came first? Which one came last? Which one was influencing the other? Which one was I? The memories of this- of… of me, of that Canadian were crisp but were somewhat hazy, maybe a result of these few days of travel?

The storms, the waves, the cold water rolling within- none of it has any reply to my questions. The clouds… simply rumbled incoherently.

On the other end, the memories of- of… myself? No, of that Aircraft Carrier, of … of the Carrier were quite prominent, yet not prominent, stale and somewhat jumbled, even if "Akagi, Souryu, Hiryu, Tosa," I listed off the names I knew, "Houshou, Ryujou, Kongou, Hiei, Kirishima, Haruna, Nagato, Mutsu, Fuso, Yamashiro, Ise, Hyuga" These names brought striking thoughts of Carriers and Battleships.

And none so much more than, "5th Carrier Division, Shoukaku-" My eyes narrowed as I then snapped harshly ", And that arrogant upstart little crane," I hissed and snarled, glaring into the frosty, frothing night.

"That disrespectful, annoying, arrogant, stupid little crane," I muttered under my breath, crashing through another large wave.

My hands clenched tightly, and the leather of my glove dug into my hand. … "Why is it that all this weather doesn't affect me so?" I mused to myself, letting my side ponytail batter itself against my head as it pleased. The winds were whipping, I could see specs of Ice on these waves, and … perhaps my flight deck was starting to form icicles. Yet I wasn't cold. 

Yes, it was uncomfortable, but it wasn't quite anywhere near freezing like it should have been. This uniform wasn't the most ideal for these conditions, even after stashing those 'tatsuki' away somewhere for safekeeping. All of which was to let my sleeves hang low in some sort of vain attempt to maintain warmth. And… it seemed to help even just a little bit?

On the other hand, I -... was not … was? Was I, in all of my glory, a ship? No, I wasn't. But I couldn't deny that I was one, given everything. The conditions weren't the worst, but, well, my crew - those who were awake at least -seemed to disagree with that statement. In fact? They looked quite miserable.

And who wouldn't be in this weather? …I wasn't, of course. The edges of my mouth rose upwards in a small smirk, imagining the surely expected tide of complaints coming from that presumptuous, cocky, smug, tiny, stupid little crane. 

She would surely whine about the weather, complaining about the cold, and bellyache about her turbines and Car Div 5's clearly pathetic Kōkūtai and their troubles with getting readied for a strike in this type of weather. It really would be truly a new low for that little Crane to complain about the obvious.

"As a senior Canadian, these cold winds are nothing but minor breezes. Maybe you should take after your superior senior from First Canadian Division and stop whining, you're already embarrassing yourself, you arrogant little crane," I huffed as I puffed my chest forward and placed my hands on my hips in confidence as I steamed forward unabated by the Northern Pacific Weather.

… after a moment, I paused and shook my head, "As a Carrier of the First Carrier Division, of course," I clarified with a hmpf.

"You girls of 5th Carrier Division couldn't even sink an inferior American carrier without losing half your Kōkū Sentai, so don't get cocky, you upstart little crane," I muttered once more to the roaring winds.

… But hadn't she come unscathed? That little crane came out unscathed, and she and 5th Car Div managed to heavily wound that same Carrier, which sank - I… My…. How could they be my thoughts?

Regardless, they screeched to a halt as anger surged into my heart. "Don't be ridiculous," I seethed with rage, yet all that came out was a dull and flat tone of deep annoyance.

"Those juniors from 5th Kōkū Sentai, especially that presumptuous, arrogant, tiny little crane, failed to sink even a single lone carrier. They failed, again, showing the power of us in the 1st Car Div. We might have failed once, but we succeeded so many other times, unlike them," I stated out calmly to… no one. The storm muffles it.

… and why had I even thought that in the first place? We of the 1st Carrier Division were, in fact, superior. This was simply a fact of life, and that little crane should learn to accept that reality. We had trained for this, we had developed (and perfected no less!) the same tactics that they had used for even their meagre victories.

"If we'd been allowed to launch our strike at Midway, even if at half strength, we would've shattered them, blown them away- and all without losing most of our Kokutai. It wasn't our fault we got ambushed," I arched my chest out and puffed once more as another very small smirk appeared on my face.

And yet still- why had I even thought anything like that in the first place?

To that thought, I was silent for … whoever knew how long. What exactly on the Emperor's Nippon that been? I scowled, ever grateful for the roaring winds of cold.

Moreover, my only thought was, This Tatsuki wasn't going to be working in this weather, was it? My arms were perhaps somewhat cold, were they not?

But trying to take them off in this weather… who knew how long that would take? And where would I even put it?

In my quiver? Or would I tie it against my bow? Or-... hadn't I already done that? "What is wrong with me?" I mumbled quietly, sliding my hands off of my hips and returning them to my sides… or… or rather to cup my chin.

Sincerely, what exactly was wrong with me? I… didn't exactly know, but I sighed and shook my head. "Why am I even heading over there anyhow?" I huffed, crossing my arms under my Muneate with frustration.

Seriously? To 'find closure?' "This is a joke," I stated with narrowed eyes, glancing back into the darkness with … a deep sigh.

"I … should be going back to Nippon, to Yokosuka, to Sasebo, to Kure, to Maizuru, or anywhere other than 加奈陀 of all places," I snapped out to the unanswering mess that was the storm … or was it myself?

Still, I stayed my course. "I … should find closure back in Japan, not there," I snarled, and… yet I still kept sailing forwards through this storm, resolved to just get there.

… Why was any of this the case? I glared daggers at the dark ocean.

I do not find or receive any sort of answer to my deep muddling frustration.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

September XX? 2022 + 6 Days

0734 Hours - Day 4 of the Journey - 18 Knots of Speed, Heading East by East, Pacific Ocean

The weather was … well, fine, I had to suppose. Perhaps still more of the same cold mess that had been there that early morning.

But at least this time, the sun was up, and I could see where I was going and adjust just that much better to match the tempo of the waves.

I might not have been able to see said sun, and the clouds were still a heavy grey, but…  Well, the crew and my Kōkūtai perked up at the way I narrowed my eyes at the storm.

Eventually, I let out a loud sigh. "Yes, we won't be sending out anything- Until the storm calms down, at least." My eyebrow twitched slightly at the way they cheered. And eventually? Well, "Yes, Officers, you may distribute the shokorashoo obtained from the Atoll, get it cooked up, and let everyone have them-yes, you may use all of it," I then mentally grumble at the way the excitement perforated even harder through everyone on board.

It was annoying and yet? Perhaps I had been feeling a scant bit annoyed because "You are still required to do the drills. Best to do them in the harshest conditions to get the most realistic experience," And with those words, the once extreme elation of the crew dropped like a stone.

"No, I won't require you to do them for the full day, just… keep that in mind," I spoke rather quietly, and that seemed to have evened out the morale issue.

And so… I simply resolved to continue sailing through this mess.

That… was fine, I determined before once more sighing loudly, "Just one more day it seems," I mused gently, even as my shoulders sagged.

… Honestly, I still wasn't sure what to think.

But I sensed the presence of my Captain … coming out on deck?! I let my features turn to a slight annoyance as I turned my head and side ponytail down to face her with an exasperated sigh. "Kaigun Taisa, naze koko ni? Koko wa kikendesu, naka ni modottekudasai," I stared down at her in irritation as I quite literally stared with… some admitted concern glinting in my eyes.

This storm was not going to abate any time soon, so… what was she doing out here on the cold, windy flight deck? My hands twitched, ready to catch her at any moment should she fall.

… and … wasn't the flight deck on my arm? How hadn't she fallen off already?

… perhaps those thoughts weren't exactly conducive at the moment. 

But she stared up at me with concerned eyes, and that only heightened my annoyance. Why was she up here? And.. looking at me like that? Seriously?

"Desu Desu, dess desu desu desu dess desu desu dess?" My captain quietly spoke up, asking with concern, asking me why I was so distracted and all of that.

Ultimately, I sighed out a small, "I'm fine," I sighed, and my captain, buffeted as she was against the storm, still found the strength to glare up at me.

"Desu desu desu dess, desu dess," She huffed, saying she wasn't stupid and how she wasn't going to buy that excuse.

To that, well, I look away awkwardly for a few minutes. What was I even supposed to say to any of that? I thought about my response for another few minutes before eventually turning back to her with a sigh, "Naka ni o modorikudasai." I pleaded with her, and she still stared at me expectantly.

And yet more minutes pass as I deliberate on things. What did she want me to say? "I don't know why I am so distracted," I began quietly, looking away from her. "It's just… I'm not sure why, and I guess it's because we're getting closer and… I don't know," I mumbled out to her. 

"All these meaningless things, like… like our performance, or-" I cut myself off with a hiss at the utterly ludicrous thought of… of … was that Arrogant little crane better- No, no, she wasn't. She had all the opportunities in the world to be better, to learn from her seniors, and temper that utterly horrid attitude- and she just simply hadn't/wasn't.

She was an arrogant little crane, and that had reared its head constantly. Just look at how much she had lost?

Ultimately, I shook my head and sighed loudly, "I just don't know, sorry." I stared down at my captain expectantly as she stared up at me with a cold smile - a literal cold smile. She was shivering heavily. "Now, please go back inside, will you?" I scolded her, and she huffed, "Desu desu dess, desu dess?" She said as she pats my deck, and I sighed… and grumbled internally.

Did she have to do that? Yes, I had to suppose things would get better with time, but did she have to touch my flight deck?

Didn't I specifically have that off limits for a reason?

Whatever the case, I muttered off a command to the medical officer to have a look at her immediately to make sure she didn't catch hypothermia- and, of course, force a cup of Hot Chocolate into her hands, which I am sure she appreciated. Even if it was going to be rocky and wavy.

And… well, the storm still loomed long, and I sighed once again, yet more as I crashed over a wave.

Why exactly had I ever woken up anyhow? After sinking, after… losing. After poor, poor Hagikaze had launched her torpedoes at me, after I'd slipped beneath the waves, why? Why exactly was that the case?

Why was I…. here?

I…. but…. I had - "No,  I know I sunk- I…. I died in the …" I trailed off once more before letting out an annoyed exhale and narrowing my eyes out at the endless expanse of ocean.

This was going to be a long cruise, wasn't it?

I eventually squared my shoulders and forced myself to focus on other things - the best I could try to distract myself at least.

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September XX? 2022 + 7 Days

0620 Hours - 5th Day of the Journey - 20 Knots of Speed, Heading East by East, Pacific Ocean

I … take a deep breath inwards and let out a long exhale. I stared off at the slowly lightening sky - sunrise was indeed slowly dawning on us.

I clenched my Hakama and Yugake tightly before sighing once more as I released the tension. "You know the rules," I spoke out, an oddly flat tone not exactly doing well to hide my excitement and anticipation.

I rubbed the arrow oh so gently and… the pilots seemed to almost preen at this attention, but some I could have sworn were muttering under their breaths. I, of course, ignored all of this.

It was a single Shōtai. Of course "Remember, keep to the clouds," I softly said, "We don't want to spook them, and if you are discovered and get radioed, well, they should keep you hidden until you get far enough away," I paused, "Back to your carrier, of course," I ended with a sigh, "Keep your wits about you-"

"Desu desu desu dess!" The flight leader cried out. To that response, well, I winced. "Yes, I know it's going to be quite the long trip out there, and yes, I should be at the intercept point by the time you do get there… It's going to be radio silence from here on out, so, good luck, please," I whispered as I stared out at the sky in worry.

I knew nothing was going to be out there, surely … but… "Desu desu dess desu," She groaned, "Desu desu dess!" She glanced up with pride as I smiled at her. She was the pilot who had first flown over Midway, of course, so…

"You're right, I …"  I shook my head, "Right, let's just get this over with," I sighed as I increased my speed once more, letting the air flow over my flight deck as I turned to the wind. "Sentouhaichi", I said calmly, alerting my crew of my intention to launch.

I may have only been launching this humble Chūtai - but yes, it was special, having included the Chutai that had been over Midway. And of course? This… mission required a fair bit more tact than simply buzzing over everything with everything that I had onboard.

I match the arrow with the bow, beginning to pull back on the string, lifting it slightly above my head, drawing it back towards the elbow… aim… loose. TWANG! The planes roared out, already beelining towards the sky.

And really, who could blame them? They had quite a distance to go.

I… smiled as I watched them go.

I could only hope they actually found what I was looking for…. Sprawling cities, far as the eye could see, with skyscrapers.

But… I had… never seen these 'skyscrapers' before? What even were those? I mused for a few seconds before I cocked my head in brief confusion, then began shaking my head. "Keep your head in the Game, Ka…ga…" I mumbled before sighing once more.

That was… wasn't? Was my name…. Or was it? I … didn't know. It wasn't. I knew it wasn't.

It seemed I was going to have some issues to work out on all of these things. At least it was going to keep me busy.

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September XX? 2022 + 7 Days

0925 Hours - 5th Day of the Journey - 20 Knots of Speed, Heading East by East, South of Vancouver Island

They were getting closer, I could feel it…and yet?

"Smoke? There's… smoke on the horizon?" My voice strained as lips contorted in a horrible frown. What did that mean?

The next few minutes passed and - "DESU DESU!" She said, quite alarmed, raising the attention of the whole crew. I needed to see this, and-

I popped over and, well, what did I see? Had me clenching my fists tightly. That poor observer looked down in confusion. 

And… "What even are they?" I whispered to the waves.

They…. Were …. I don't know what they were. They were shadowy, dark outlines of ships, dark, pale ships, chugging along with a heavy plume of smoke. And then there was the smoke. Smoke rising from what we could faintly make out to be towns or forests, perhaps… Gun emplacements?

They were heading into the Salish Sea, and I could slowly make out the Island that I had called home…

At that point, I began to feel disoriented, trying to make sense of it all. "Desu desu desu desu dess?" My Captain asked urgently, wanting to know what was going on over there.

I… then saw them level their guns (how could I see that from up here?), engaging something from our island, firing back at them… then the lead ship fired, followed by a rolling barrage of its following task force.. - I … let my eyes trail and… they narrowed heavily. Transport ships- or… they barely looked like it. My eyes followed hers and ….

My blood turned to ice with a Boiling Rage.

These were monsters. They … were firing on Canadian soil! And going by the flashes of coastal guns (From both sides of the channel-) we were firing back at them! "Sentouhaichi!" I snarled out an order, leaving my crew scrambling to their stations.

"We've found an Enemy Task Force, A Battleship, Cruisers, and transports!" I shouted as I spooled up my engines.

"They're invading and actively bombarding! Ready both Kanbaku and Kanko Buntai's for a full strike- Arm 3rd Chutai with Type 2 No 6 land bomb, and the 4th Chutai with Type 99 No 6 semi-AP - 5th, 6th, 7th Chutai's with Type 91 Torpedoes!" I shouted quickly, feeling my heart begin to burn with anxiety.

"Desu - desu desu? Desu desu dess!" My captain sniffled (still a bit sick) and- "The observation crew can feel it!" I snapped back in a little bit of a panic. "I know this is what we are looking for! This is what made them evacuate!" I shouted in emphasis for the crew.

… After that, well, I could do nothing more than apologise for being so harsh and for slamming on the pedal fast.

I had to hit them first, hard, and fast. 

I had to destroy them, leaving nothing left. But I needed to hit them first. "We'll do Delayed Departure, get what we can in the sky," I ordered and still felt my gloves and everything struggling not to lose my temper.

The crew, well, they had leapt to work… and all I could do was narrow my eyes with anger and sail on with a stewing indignation….    

But why? This was- Not the time for any of that. These things needed to be destroyed!

... a more disquieting thought struck the back of my mind, "If whatever these things are forced the evacuation of Midway," I began, feeling my heart- no, my engines - drop "Forced the evacuation of countless refugees through that airport," I paused in thought "Then how has 日本," I stared at the water "How has 日本 faired?"

My head began to swim and pound in equal measure. "Watashi wa naze koko ni iru no ka?" I questioned, placing my hand on my forehead, the throbbing pain increasing. I breathed in and out, my engines pounding faster and faster, "Watashi wa nani o shita no ka?" I say in distress, ignoring the wind or the waves. I shouldn't have been here.

Why was I here? I shouldn't have come here. If these monsters were attacking over here, then what is happening to Japan? Why had I abandoned Japan in favour of going to 加奈陀? It was hard to control my breathing simply thinking about the mistake I must have committed, of what I abandoned in favour of-

"Desu dess desu dess," My captain interrupted quietly. To that, I shake my head and take a deep breath. "You're right, I-" I cut myself off, trying to restore some amount of control over myself, "I'm being ridiculous," I tell myself, "And we can handle that later," 

We had a strike to conduct, after all. She still stared at me in worry. Why?

Chapter Text

September XX? 2022 + 7 Days 

0949 Hours - Ending Day of the Journey - 28 Knots of Speed, Heading East by East, South of Vancouver Island

It hadn't been much more time until I had quickly added a memorandum, of sorts. Knowing that time was of the essence? I had hesitantly ordered "Just focus on getting a first strike up on deck, Prioritise 1st and 3rd Chutai along with a Kanko Daitai," I said with something of a nervous twitch.

Yes, I was questioned on this decision, and after some revisions, "Make it a light strike, 27 planes, three Chutai's, they can wait in the air in delayed departure. We just need - something off the deck, okay?" I was rather stressed, I wasn't going to lie. That being said, I was proud of them. Usually, we would have focused on the biggest strike possible to shatter them completely, and what strike came after, yet… we weren't. That showed that they were finally thinking outside of the box.

Considering what had happened the last time… I… … What even had happened last time, what was I even talking about? I shook my head, but had a realisation. This was it. This… this was what had been terrorising everything, wasn't it? I was not entirely sure, but I could ascertain that it sounded right. And by that logic, this was what had forced them to evacuate, wasn't it?

"Desu dess!" They responded with sharp salutes as they ran to their stations, beginning to beaver away with increased fervour. Extra hands were as I hoped -going to make light work. And, well, now that they had essentially gone from 45 planes to prepare, to only a strike, merely over half of that, 27, one could perhaps be pleased with this new increased pace, as everyone worked together to bring down the preparation time. I could sense their resolve, their relief, their determination, and it pleased me.

That being said? They were going to need to do the others as well. Readying up 9 of my Dive Bombers, and an extra 9 Torpedo Bombers was going to be a pain in the stern… Not speaking of the next strike which I was readying up, containing … Well, the recon planes weren't going to make it in time. Thus, only 9 more Torpedo Bombers were on the page for a strike, on top of readying an escort (I couldn't take any chances, but … perhaps I could load them with some bombs? It wasn't that large of a distance) with another 9 Fighters, and the 4th Chutai containing the other half of my Dive Bombers--

In other words, it was going to take time. Time that I wasn't even sure I had to do something. So- "We should likely just rely on the 1st Chutai for escort," And this could help to alleviate getting everything else on deck, "But what if there is an enemy carrier in the area, providing CAP? Or getting ready for a strike of their own upon us- or their targets' defences?" I mumbled to myself in a light daze.

"Desu desu desu desu desu," My captain sighed longly. We would get there when (or if) we got there… or something along those lines.

And these words? Well, they help to calm me down. "I- I suppose you're right, Captain," I said, shaking my head. I had my reservations about that, but I had to focus.

Thus, I ordered them to prioritise preparing my strike package instead of the Second Wave Squadron of Fighters. Perhaps I could use them for CAP later? If I didn't…. The consequences would be- I shake my head again, this time more forcefully. 

I… just had to hope that we could hit them in time, and I had to keep focused, I chanted to myself.

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September XX? 2022 + 7 Days

1015 Hours - In Battle - 28 Knots of Speed, Heading East by East, South of Vancouver Island 

Off in the distance, I exhaled a sigh of annoyance. My Recon Flight, it seemed, was finally on its way to returning, but…

My Light Strike was, as the deck slowly showed, as my elevator slowly worked away to push up another plane -almost ready, possibly another 10 to 15 minutes (or was I severely underestimating it?) to get everything designated for the first part of my 'alpha strike'.

And already? I could somehow feel that the second part of the strike was slowly getting into gear as more and more planes were pulled back by the crew on the deck.

"Have the scouts wait to land," I mumbled off in another bout of slight… anxiety.

Why? What was there to be anxious about? I…I've done this before. I've landed planes. I've been a part of time-sensitive operations before. I've admittedly felt the burn of pressing the engines so much, and now, I've reluctantly allowed myself to slow down just that little bit. Both to preserve fuel and to, well, not break anything.

Perhaps just storing that possibility for a big rush of knots, saving it for a time when I did have to launch the largest strike I had done… since… I…. Since I had woken up like this. No longer would I be launching a mere Chutai; now I would be launching a combined Daitai, a complete Kōkūtai … or was that even right? My brows furrow.

… At any rate, preparing for my second strike was bound to take a little longer, made so by the most likely elements of exhaustion. Not only that, but having to manoeuvre the recon flight to the back, having to make sure that we could get this launched so that they would arrive at the best possible time together… 

It was all something of a game, and I was merely just one Aircraft Carrier participating in this dance alone. I… sighed once more as I clenched my skirt. I was… nervous about this. I…. I didn't want to lose any of my pilots. Or my crew, for that matter.   

But things were coming together, I had to suppose. But those returning recon Shōtai were not the happiest bunch. Thus? The problem now became, of course, getting this first part of my strike in the air- preferably before those B5Ns lost their patience. Thankfully, it seemed they wouldn't have to wait for much longer.

And through my efforts to calm them down, I knew that the first 'Kokutai' was ready, and my 9 Fighters, 9 Dive Bombers, and 9 Torpedo Bombers… were raring to go. I took a deep breath and sighed. "Right, get ready for launching," I said as I finally spooled up engines once more, turning into the wind.

This was going to be slightly exhausting, I mused to myself. Faster and faster I went, the more air flowed over my hull, soothing and bolstering the conditions for flight… soon enough? I was ready, I suppose I did think. 9 Arrows, 27 planes, and with 6 more arrows and 18 more planes to launch.

This… was going to take a while. I sighed in annoyance as I reached back and grabbed the first of many arrows…

And yes, I did grumble (or perhaps rather, mentally frown) just a bit at the weight of the Torpedo Carrying Shōtai, and it was not to say as if it was unexpected to be so heavy, just not quite this heavy… I match it with the bow, raise it upwards, grimacing at its weight, before pulling back to my elbow as I lower it…further and further…

TWANG! The planes roared out and… that might not have had the best launch I had ever seen, but then again, perhaps they didn't have as much practice (of maintaining their skills) with launching with fully armed torpedoes this past week? I didn't know.

… Oh dear, it has been a week, hasn't it? I frowned heavily. A full week like this. And what did I even have to show for it? The Pride of the Kidō Butai and… and being ever so slightly nervous, when she shouldn't be. Yes, I'd trained, and I was a part of the 1st Kōkū Sentai, who by all considerations had done her duty and should remain resolute in doing so.

But instead, she was wondering if this was even the right move. Or whether or not this was going to work out. Those were ultimately unnecessary and dangerously doubting thoughts.

But on the other hand- "Desu dess?" One of my officers asked, and I shook my head with a deep sigh, "Sorry," I responded quietly. The underlying assumption was, naturally, that I was distracted. 

Which I very pointedly was. "When the first planes of the second," I paused once more, shaking my head, "Just… ugh, get some height and get going. We need to get them off kilter, which should buy the defenders more time."

This felt like a reasonable request. My air command also agreed, rationalising about the goals. Our objective was to stop the enemy. No, that wasn't right. Our goal was to slow down the enemy.

And it was one that my air crew was ecstatic about- to finally strike out at this new, hated enemy and-

"Right, planes," I whispered to myself, letting my side ponytail whip around in the wind as I sighed.

Thus, I got to work. I simply wouldn't take any chances. I… I simply couldn't take any more chances. I just couldn't. Yes, I knew this small strike had less of a chance of breaking the morale of this… this unknown enemy that we were facing, but I had to try. At least this attack would be carried out by the flight leader of the attack squadrons, Lt.Cdr. Kusumi Tadashi. He- well, now she - was a skilled leader, and she should, as I would hope, get the best results out of this strike.

"Once you get to altitude, just start flying over, and by that time I'll send over the next batch," I murmured as I launched the first of the D3A1s, still… still almost intimately aware of the risks at stake. Did I mean the strike I was currently launching or the next one? I didn't know, and it was confusing. Did the pilot understand me? Understand what I meant?

I had focus, and yet- I didn't want my pilots, planes, or any of my crew to die. But this was a risk we were just going to have to take. There just simply were not any other options left for… for me? Why was that? I… could simply just ignore it… watch from a distance, analyse the enemy, and I could wait for the rest of my strike to be prepared. So we could attack in one massive strike.

But for some reason, that thought sent a jolt of nausea and yet more horrid guilt rushing through my boilers. That felt wrong. It felt - I … that… that could get people hurt or killed. And It would be my fault… but…. But why? I- I was a carrier of the Kidō Butai, I had no loyalty, necessarily speaking, to these people of this section of the globe in particular. Yes, we were, as it seemed, fighting against the same enemy… but the enemy of my enemy wasn't necessarily my friend, so…

So why did I care? Yes, these things were wrong, I could feel it in my gut, a visceral snarl softly biting my lip to be let loose. But there was no reason to be stupid about my attack. The smart and wise thing to do would be to gather up a full Strike, all of those 45 Planes, a fighter squadron and both squadrons of Dive Bombers and Torpedo Bombers that I had with me.

It would be the smart move, hitting them hard, and not giving them even the slightest chance to respond. And by not allowing them to prepare for the next strike…

So why wasn't I doing that? I should be buying my time, using the distraction of whatever they were firing at to get the best possible result.

But I wasn't. I launched another arrow, still distracted. It was wrong. I would be abandoning- who? Who would I be abandoning? I questioned myself heavily. As a carrier of the 1st Koku Sentai, sending these piecemeal strikes was-

Was…. not smart. Neither was it ideal. A frown forms silently on my lips in thought. But I had to do it.

I just had to follow the feeling in my boilers and engines, screaming at me to do something about them as fast as soon as possible. Because if I didn't?

Then I would fail again. To protect them. To protect… Akagi I, … "No, Akagi isn't here," I reminded myself softly under my breath, launching yet another arrow.

The cold storm of grief in my heart surges briefly before (she was gone, she had sunk, and she was gone. Forever), it was smothered with discipline, only that slight frown deepening on my face. I just had to keep calm and carry on.

With renewed dignity and pride and assuredness, "That will be the honourable choice," I mumbled to myself, gazing past my bangs at the planes flying off before pausing and reaching for the next shotai.

This was going to take a while, wasn't it? Still, it had to be done.

For Cana- … "For the Pride of the First Carrier Division, we shall defeat these foes!" I shouted to clear my head. And for a while, this worked- All on top of boosting the eagerness of the crew.

…. It hadn't taken long before the distractions emerged again. Even when trying to launch my planes.

Why? Why was I behaving like this? "I'm not supposed to be distracted, I am supposed to be resolute and decisive, calm and striking with fury," I firmly scoffed, glancing down at my hands. I clenched my archery glove tightly.  I tried to calm down, yet it simply wasn't having an effect. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.

Yet I wasn't any of those things I knew I was. Why, Kaga, why? … I …. Wasn't Kaga, I was- no, I -.... "I" My mouth felt dry, parched, and swallowing hurt. Yet I had to do it because- "Have to focus, have to focus," I murmured as I grasped my next arrow.

The only problem was that focusing was easier said than done.

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September XX? 2022 + 7 Days

1054 Hours - In Battle - South of Vancouver Island 

We had been having difficulties, to say the least. Rather annoying ones. "Desu dess desu dess? Dess dess desu desu!" My radio operator shouted in pure frustration, clenching her tiny fists in unconcealed (but controlled) rage. Eventually, she takes a deep breath in, a long exhale out, and a long string of grumbles and curses under her breath.

"Keep trying, and keep me updated," I calmly responded with an admittedly annoyed look. Still, I steamed forward, crashing through more waves and braving the roaring gusts admirably. My hair, perhaps not quite so bravely. But that wasn't quite why I was annoyed. 

"Desu dess desu desu dess," She sighed in response, "Desu dess, desu desu dess, desu desu," She said sourly and grumpily, pleadingly crossing her arms, protesting against her assigned task. Saying that there was nothing else to be done, and what was the point? 

And perhaps she had a point. I wordlessly lifted my left hand to that wildly flapping side ponytail and brushed it out of the way to press it against my ear.

The effect was almost instantaneous- The roaring of the gale and the rage of the waves dulled to a mere seashell's echo, and I admittedly flinched a short while as the sheer static buzzed in my ear. More than that, I … could hear words. But they simply weren't.

Rather, they were fragments of words, almost words, almost sounds, that I could almost understand, but… simply couldn't. It was choppy, distorted, full of phantoms of desperation, shouting, screaming and… and I really did empathise with my poor radioman.

But "Take a break, then continue," I ordered with a short internal wince at the exasperated expression on her face.

What other choices did I have? I… had to at least try and understand what was going on, didn't I?

My crew member wasn't sincerely happy about her duty. But, well, she did judiciously take that breather, stomping out of her chair.

It was almost comical, if not for the situation we found ourselves in.

And my strike still had a long time to go until the estimated interception.  

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September XX? 2022 + 7 Days

1143 Hours - In Battle - In the Air, South of Vancouver Island 

I took a deep breath as I gazed down at the distant water below. It was a mess. The endless smoke, the [enemies], those charred black splotches of hull and [wrongness] glinting with burning red, smouldering orange, cold blue, hot, fierce yellow, and other colours, I didn't know how I could tell or even see them from up here…

Yet, they still chugged along, firing at what looked like coastal batteries of all things. For their credit, those defences fired back, not that effectively, to be fair.

It filled me with an endless anxiety, my hands twitching for my bow, even as I knew I had nothing to shoot… Nothing yet, at least.

I resisted the gnawing desperation in my gut that begged me to urge the hanger bay's work crew ever onwards, for them to work faster, to work harder. I just… I just didn't know what good such a thing would do.

Other than simply driving them to exhaustion, on top of which my crew was already working tirelessly, it would surely waste their true potential on things that would already take time. But I still haven't a clue why I was being so anxious.

I… was never this anxious- I, Kaga of the First Carrier Division, was never this bad- Yes, I, Kaga of the esteemed First Carrier Division, and senior Carrier, was never like that at all. I was supposed to be calm, collected, focused and assured of my success. So why was I acting like that stupid upstart little crane…?

I shake my head, "Just have to focus," I softly murmur to myself, letting my side ponytail hang quietly. The wind was not making things much easier for anything, but I simply let the tied hair wave around in the wind… I didn't quite have a choice in that regard, but that was fine with me. 

I was not supposed to be that distracted, so why? What was wrong with me? Was I not- I… "This isn't the time for that," I remind myself as I take a deep breath to recenter on the important things- things like the lumbering of the planes in the air as they slowly start to swing into position.

And, well, for my crew… they were almost done. Just another 15 or 30 minutes and I could send out that second strike.

That would be for the best, "And I can stop distracting myself," I softly mused with a quiet tone.

Over here, the air was nice, the sun might have been warm, the waves might have been cooperative… but none of that was necessarily helping me at the moment. It only served to drive a wedge of further odd, unnatural anxiety spiking into my heart.

People were suffering over there. Likely getting shot at. I had to do something. I had done something. My hands clenched tightly against my Hakama as I tried to breathe.

What if it wasn't enough? What if my air group failed? Failed to dissuade them? Failed to damage them? What if they- what if they got shot down? What if they died? What if I failed? Failed Again? Like at-

I force myself to take a deep breath, "That isn't going to help, Ka… ga…" I trailed off after a moment before sharply shaking my head. I was not Kaga, so… what was with any of that?

I didn't know. I knew I wasn't Kaga because I- … Because I wasn't.

No, that wasn't right either. I had- My breath hitches for a moment before I shake my head. I knew I had lived my entire life as not Kaga- the ship, person, thing who was clearly not me - but as a Canadian instead. That… simply just made sense. 

Right? "Desu dess!" The attack was about to start, my unit commander called, snapping my focus to hers.

I let out a long exhale, "Alright," I murmured in response, "We can do this." It was a simple fact of life, one that I knew should have been a fact of life. 

They were slow, lumbering, wrong monstrous things, and would be easy prey… but why did I feel such doubt? Such hesitation over something so clearly, easily attacked?

Whatever the case, I… simply could just watch and see how they did.

I wasn't sure if I could do much else other than pray for their safe return, or even for a successful strike.

But I was of the Kidō Butai and- no… I… I knew about our-no. It was theirs; the Imperial Japanese Carrier Force was highly trained. Therefore, it was easy enough to know that they wouldn't disappoint me, their Carr— their not Carrier, who wasn't theirs, and that meant that I just had to rely on them.

I hated this feeling, I internally admitted. I bit my lip, breathing quietly, looking between the blue sky, dark blue waves, and in the cockpit above, the waters below and the dark, cloudy smoke of fire… I had slowed down, yes, not wanting to stress my engines ragged, but still I pushed my limits, safely instead of recklessly, all for the difference of a few crucial knots. And what did that leave me?

Wasn't there anything I could do? "Desu dess dess desu dess desu desu dess?" My captain spoke up from the bridge with a calm confidence, in contrast towards much of the rapid chaos of the rest of the bridge. "Desu dess desu dess dess desu desu desu," She said soothingly, with a strong look on her face.

But she was right. Everything would be fine, our pilots were well trained, and there was not much else that could be done. They had a job to do, and I … I was their carrier.

… But I wasn't their carrier, and I simply just wasn't. I knew I couldn't ever truly be theirs, and that was okay. Outwardly, I nodded. "You're right," I admitted, "But I-" I trailed off, wondering how to say the words I needed to say…

"Want them to come back safely," I whispered out with a short mumble, no one save for the wind, the waves, and the captain to hear. But there was a strike to commence, and that wish was out of my hands. The only thing left to do was watch with bated breath and hope.  

Chapter Text

AN: Aight, I'm back with another chapter….

Ye… so, fair warning, when I said that I was cooking and that I was happy with chapter 8– I guess that was somewhat true. I guess I am happy with it in terms of how unique it was…. But maybe not necessarily how it was executed.

I feel like I should maybe let it sit for a week and take another fresh look instead of posting it right now… but, well, I did make a promise, so…. Yeah? 

Tbh, I'm not sure if you will share my vision for originality and, well, I'm not sure if i am truly happy If I've written out it's execution of the best of what it could be.

Or, to be blunt… this might get real weird.

September XX? 2022 + 7 Days

1201 Hours - In Battle - In the Air, South of Vancouver Island 

I watched with bated breath as my planes swung into position. My hand nervously taps my bow, both a rhythm and a pattern unknown. I was nervous, but I was improving. A certain calmness of knowing that there was little else I could be doing in this situation.

Well, "There is nothing more that can be done," I whispered, glancing out at the sea, the lapping waves, the buffeting air which I desperately steamed on forth… I took a deep breath inwards and exhaled.

Yes, there was nothing else I could do, and things would be fine. I closed my eyes, sighing, and letting the wind do what it wanted to my hair. In doing so, it allowed me to gather my thoughts in reassurance once more. My next group of planes was getting closer and closer to being ready, and "Then we should be able to cripple them with this second strike, or-" I bit my lip in hesitation.

"Stupid," I hissed at myself, "We will need a third strike, and I can't just assume we won't."

At this, a rather dark thought followed: 'Just like last time, too behind and scrambling for another strike, always.' It came like a leering, sneering voice at the back of my command bridge, tittering and mocking and I .... I shuddered, feeling a pit of gnawing aching in my boilers.

These were slow forces, weren't they? They were estimated to be slow, and they seemingly lacked very much in the way of air defence… but yet?

My forces rumbled into place. I could feel them… any minute now, they would signal their attack;

"Desu desu dess?" A murmur from a pilot - the enemy task force seemed to be damaged… oily slicks clear on the surface, indicating earlier sinks and some destroyers lagged perilously on fire while shells landed all around it.

And… with a few more fiery flashes from shells firing from the shore, it noticeably blows up and sinks. It was… nice to know that my home- no, it was Japan that was my home, So - y- yes, no, it was simply that these defenders could do something against them.… "No, that isn't right either," I sighed with some measure of relief. "I… am Canadian, this is my home," I declared with certainty and a calm acceptance. This was just the case. "But it really isn't, not at-" My confused mumbles were then interrupted by-

"DESU DESU DESS DESU!" I could feel my unit commander in her B5N2 shout; The enemy task force was under attack by American Dive Bombers and Torpedo Bombers.

"Ah?" My eyebrow raised high in surprise.

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September XX? 2022 + 7 Days?

1145 Hours - In Battle - On the Sea, North of Vancouver Island 

"I can do this," She murmurs to herself, clenching the small pistol in her hands. "No, we can do this," She corrected herself with a nervous tick. Still, she could hear the sirens ring distantly in the air from what she was supposed to be defending. And they were trying their best.

"You've done amazing so far! If we keep this up, we'll destroy them for sure!" One of her escorts bragged, her short brown hair waving imposingly as she turned her head over to look up at her.

Despite everything, she flushed angrily, "I- no, I didn't! We did this, Lys helped," She huffed, "My- they… they just got lucky, t-that's all, a-and we're still going to get chewed up if they get over here," She mumbled, giving her escort a tired side eye.

Given everything, that was simply just how things were going to go. The enemy now simply had a battleship princess, her escort battleship, 4 heavy cruisers that (not counting their lighter protected seeming cruisers and numerous destroyers of which they'd had heavily whittled away from the air) could go more than a few knots her fastest… at least, so far.

"We just have to keep skirmishing a-and maybe wait for nightfall, that's what he said," She began to ramble, brushing her long, darkish brown hair out of the way and adjusting her headset.

And, well, that was the plan. Keep harassing them until nightfall with their planes and keep them off centre and engage in the dark if necessary. What good would that do when they now had, essentially, more than double her own small task force? "What about the light cruisers, what about their heavier ships?" She clenched her sleeves in worry.

Not just for herself but for her escorts. What would happen to them? She… She was at least told that their Merchant Ships were priority targets, and to avoid other confrontation while the coastal defences kept them busy, but this was ludicrous!

"Calm down already, they are utter chumps! We'll send em' packing, you know it," That destroyer huffed arrogantly, shifting the guns in her hands and shoulders, proudly wagging the racks of torpedo tubes strapped to her thighs with a strut.

It was adorable, yet- … Yet she still found herself smiling "I-I hope you're right," She said nervously, glancing away from the girl to the 5 others in the formation.

The rather serious, despondent-looking Ingraham, then, St. Croix, and Niagara, who in turn started to look at her, straightening their backs and attempting to look as if they weren't murmuring and talking to each other. "Of course I'm right!" The destroyer puffed out her chest, and… well, "H-Hey! We're in a battle, stop!" She pouted heavily when she reached over and ruffled her hair-filled head. And thus, she also then ever so reluctantly pulls her hand back and purposely ignores the girl's grumbling.

On her left, then, was her fellow carrier girl, Liscombe Bay. Quite recognisable by her bright blonde bushy hair (always unmade and in a mess), and her wide profile, now fumbling with her gun shakily. "You okay there, Lis?" She called over, gripping her own launching gear pistol tightly. They needed to do this, they needed to coordinate and-

"Y-Yeah- I- I guess so, just- just taking a few minutes to get the Grummans in place," The tired, almost sunken look in her eyes made her seem… like she really wasn't there, like she wasn't even looking at her at all. 

But still, she sailed over in concern, holstering her gun confidently. She gripped the blonde's hands carefully. "You can do this. Think," She began firmly, even as the younger girl mumbled, trying to drag her hands away to no avail.

"There are no submarines here. Not in these shallow waters at least. We've got plenty of distance from their guns. We can do this. So take a deep breath, calm down, and try to lock in. We still have a while till the strike, alright?" She does her best to smile even as Liscome shakily nods to her words.

Then she pulls away, centring her steering firmly forward. Even if she wasn't nearly as confident as she wanted to say she was.

But still, the thoughts kept her busy. What could she (and most importantly, her dedicated and (without them ever knowing it, god forbid their puffed up faces full of embarrassment and annoyance) cute escorts- er, juniors) do against that mess of a convoy?

That convoy, which was all full of abyssal merchant ships while they still had a pair of battleships (ignoring how one of them was a princess), now almost certainly breathing down their necks?! Yes, she did have Liscombe Bay, and they still had planes available, but… She had to keep focused.

Still, whatever the case, their first strike in this new battle had gone admittedly well. From arming both hers and Liscombe's Wildcats with bombs, sending in her dive bombers and Bays Torpedo planes again after a frantic refuelling and rearmament. Sometimes, she wondered how exactly she had enough space to make her Dauntless's (god, it still felt weird to use them- she suppressed the sharp pang of guilt, because her sister had-) work so well, even with how short her flight deck was… and how it even worked.

But Liscombe Bay was taking a worrying amount of time getting her Grummans into position. The anvil to her hammer was taking time to get where both of them wanted it to be.

Silently, she gave her an apology for her frustration, not just for Liscome.. But her aircrew. They understood and didn't blame her.. She takes in a deep breath, smooths her blue jacket, and idly straightens her tie. She had to focus. 

Her small, somewhat outdated, and somewhat definitely depleted air group, of what she could scramble to recover and replenish from that last sortie- Her mind flashes back a week (or was it a few days? Yes, that was it) ago. Those sorties… had been brutal.

They accomplished their mission, but at what cost exactly? Nabob had gotten heavily damaged, sidelined for the moment despite her angered, desperate thrashing snarls, the bloodied, matted brown hair struggling and fighting the other, less injured destroyers in the repair pool, trying to force her back in?

… At least she'd calmed down after forcing both her and Liscome Bay to take her remaining air group to scramble something together. Very reluctantly, that was.

And that first battle had been….messy. They'd taken out their two shadowy fleet carriers after a fierce no-holds-barred dogfight in the skies, covering their mad, suicidal dash to make it work. Of flying way too close, dropping bombs with desperation, of almost nearly impacting the water and… the truly horrific casualties of many a torpedo bomber, despite their success.

What had come of that? Their revenge strike. They knew it was coming. And perhaps… maybe she'd been a bit arrogant.

The Battleship Princess was still coming.

She felt a slight tugging on her sleeve from the other destroyer in the force, looking up from her side with quiet worry. She does her best to sigh as she tussles her hair, "I'm fine, B-.. Right, sorry, Barton, just a bit worried," She corrected herself as she tried to reassure the girl, but even to that end, she didn't listen, as she kept hugging her. It was… nice, but annoying.

So what remained of her (and partly technically Nabob's) air group? 9 Dive Bombers and her 6 remaining ad-hoc Fighter-Bombers were coming up onto the enemy's task group, preparing their assault, and this was the only possible way to perhaps stall them away from attacking the critical parts… She could, at least, possibly give everything to do this one small task of distraction, she reassured herself.

She then exhales and forces her hands back to her pistol, gripping it tightly as she tries to drown out the noise of the battle raging around her.

Finally, "I-I'm ready for the assault," Liscome Bay called out, having steeled her nerves. She, herself, looks back with a tight, but relieved, smile.

Then, with a small tug from Barton, now smiling with quiet determination, she focuses on (once again) neatly organising her forces, "Going in for attack, watch me," She says with a faint exhale, ignoring the whines of her (other) escort, complaining heavily over 'having to take care of her again.' She watched as Liscome had to deal with Ingram having to screen her… poor girl. Whether or not she meant Liscome or Ingram… she didn't know.

She stared back… and she knew what she had to do. "Liscome!" She called, "Let's give it one more shot!" If there was a time when it came to do it, then it was now.

She then drifts over to Liscome Bay with… admittedly some difficulty (thank you, St. Clair, with your concerns about what happened the last time they'd tried it way earlier), but she got there. 

Still, she knew she would do her best, despite her attitude. She had a job to do, and that same huffing, grumbling destroyer (and the other, quieter one by her side) would execute her protection to the best of her ability.

Then? Liscome takes a deep breath as she stares into the other girls' own, sharing quiet messages of (Are you sure? I'm not going to back down, never going to give you up. Or just give up on this) before she nods affirmatively. She met twin flames of determination burning in her brightly, energising her soul to burn brightly in turn.

"Right! I'm ready when you are," She spoke firmly with that desire to win, to protect, that made her love her best friend. As her best friend. They could do this.

And it had to work; they had no other choice. It… failed on the previous try with the last battle, and they certainly didn't have enough time or energy to even dare to risk trying it the previous time, even if almost attempting that three-way… perhaps if they tried. Maybe if they risked it, they could have done more, won more cleanly… and not almost lost their friends.

Maybe she wouldn't have lost her sister all that time ago. Maybe if she hadn't been such a coward, scared to put her trust in the face of failure, she might still be-

No, this time was different. She could feel it. She trusted Liscome with all of her heart.

Then, with a short breath, she and Liscome reached out, finally connecting. Hands reaching one another until they grasped, sailing forward, together. 

They share a final breath before initiating.

"Flight Operations, LINK BUUUUUUUURST!" They shouted. In that instant, the world around both of them faded in sharp, blinding white. In a moment, it faded to the battlefield, and wondrously she could feel both hers and Liscome's planes rumbling forward in the air, through the smoke of the fires raging below.

Then the power kicked in.

She grimaced in pain as the strength of their carrier girl souls flooded into her brain, her command bridge.

But together, they could- no, would overcome this. The blinding, searing hot burning of the Link flashing through their electrical wires and into them- and connected- she and Liscome could feel the bright burning fuel sharply and swiftly gleaming into their rivets and frames, amplifying the potential sync level of their equipment and everything. And through that, more important than ever right now, their planes, now faster, tougher, and stronger than before.

She and Liscome knew they would win this. They had to, and they would. 

The enemy was over there. They calculated their distance, and so they began to conduct the dance of both their strikes. Through quiet coordination, their air control units were in intimate unity. They simultaneously split forces and aimed them at their targets, noting the way how one of her previously targeted destroyers had blown up. That was good, freeing up ammunition for other targets.

She noted equally how much the bigger ships had slowed to a crawl… this too was an opportunity for her lighter fighter bombers, whom she ordered to begin dropping altitude for ideal attack patterns. But her (and still combined with Liscombe's) air group numbers were limited; she grimaced. This wouldn't be an easy task. Especially since they were very obviously now expecting them.

There was nothing she could do. Their fairies would suffer. They would die, and all for this one task.

All for her, their mother, their Aircraft Carrier. For both of them. The disquieted fear, grief, of knowing the results and of doing what needed to be done…

She closes her eyes, trying to steel herself to command this strike to its conclusion. She had done it once before; she could do it again. She could feel the exhaustion of their fairies, the sweat on their palms, the brief break they'd given them with what fresh water they had, having renewed them… for only a while as they rushed to prepare another strike.

There was nothing else that could be done.

But they'd still give them one hell of a knockout punch.

"EH EH, AYE EH AYE AYE EH?!" Their Squadron leader spluttered as she shouted over her radio, her eyes bulging comically; Japanese Torpedo Bombers and Dive Bombers had been spotted readying themselves to attack the Abyssal Task Force.

Things desynced for a moment. "What?!" HM(C)S Archer's soft blue eyes snapped wide open in a shocked surprise, while Liscome was left flinching in confusion, still coordinating their forces.

She could feel Liscome's grip tightening; she focused on the link once more. Immediately, she turned her attention to her fairy's vision, and she found she wasn't lying. She could see them descend, and she finally felt a real sense of hope, trepidation, fear, and quiet anxiety. Was this a trap, another trap? No, it had to be help, reinforcements! All enter into her stomach. They'd be able to finish this!

With renewed determination, she manoeuvred her planes with a deft grace, using the Douglas SBD Dauntless bombs to render asunder yet another few destroyers and finally injure a few of their crucial merchant vessels.

Her other, littler bomb strikes slammed their charges into yet more of their convoy, sometimes missing, but hitting harder than ever. This would surely cripple the enemy's advance! Only lost a Fighter, she thinks softly to herself.

All with a slight nervousness about those damned meatballs, which had appeared. She orders their (now bombless) planes back with desperation to avoid further losses or accidents.

Liscombe's torpedo bombers accomplished multiple hits, blowing up enemy merchant ships after another, rendering hit after hit with her Grummans in masterful precision. Not enough to sink them; not outright. But that other battleship had hit the dust! It was the results that were startlingly amazing compared to their last strike, a few even managing to injure the princess somewhat!

… she really did not like that eerie howl she had delivered through the radio channel, however.

But it showed that they were accomplishing something. And confidence would have filled her if not for another question: Where did those Japanese planes even come from? And-

"Seriously, what is it?!" Her escort, HMCS St. Clair, was annoyed, she could tell.

… Ah, she must have expressed her surprise out loud earlier. She grimaced in pain at the fraying link. Still, she felt a pang of guilt at further leaving Liscome Bay to handle more of the burden of coordination.

"Sorry, I- uh, we've got reinforcements," She said, grunting and hissing, biting her teeth in pain, even as the rest of their task force started to beam in relief.

Again, she turns her attention back towards Liscombe Bay to focus. She sends her a silent apology as their strike continued its wrath, even as thoughts pursued her.

She… had to wonder to herself what she, this mystery girl with the soul of a carrier girl, was doing all the way here. After all, she hadn't heard any news of them finding one, (and obviously), much less summoning one yet. Even if getting news across the Pacific was a difficult task with all the interference, surely they would have made it a top-priority broadcast?

Something about hope, something about finally finding a strong foothold on the defence.

After all, they would likely have loved to crow about such an accomplishment-- and eying up those dive bombers, those gull-winged Aichi's, circling above, barely visible through the smoke- and those slivers of light from the floor that must have been torpedo bombers, and those fast, maneuverable streaks of white and slight red that must have been their Zero's…

Even if it was (possibly) yet another small Carrier, they surely would have boasted insufferably about having gotten to claim the latest carrier girl on the seas? Surely, they'd have made her an idol above all else? Not that she could blame them necessarily.

Or if it was a proper flattop, they certainly would have loved to sing and Banzai stupidly about that. Archer resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the thought.

Still, the mystery remained: what the heck were the meatballs doing here?

… Would they stab them in the back? Come to shoot her planes down? Try to get revenge like the- She shook her head as Liscome protested those thoughts. And she…folded like a wet napkin internally (and privately) sighed about Liscome's naivety.

She did believe in the best, saying that she just had to have faith, and Archer partially agreed with her. But perhaps with more than a little dosage of caution after how much trouble her efforts to talk things out with one of those damn carriers had gone.

So, even if they didn't quite seem to follow her plans in their retreat her… she… had to keep careful. She had to keep her eyes out.

Always.

Not after what happened to her sister. Still in a Coma. Still Vulnerable. Still forcing her to pick up her rigging. Still forcing her to use her gear like she was currently. Never again.

… She had to focus.

She had to.

Or… "At least they aren't coming for us," She whispered mirthfully under her breath. For the moment, she tepidly allowed some amount of hope in her heart.

It was a sight to behold, that she had to admit. Their surprise reinforcements attack. Simply, not quite flashy. Textbook, but not unintelligent. She watched the Dive Bombers do decent damage to their cruisers, watched as the Kates soared to secure hit after hit with their torpedoes.

For certain, it was a slow, not quite decisive affair, and decidedly uncoordinated - much unlike their own linked strike, that was. Did this mystery carrier girl not know how to do that?

And none more odd than…the Princess. That this carrier girls planes had focused on with the majority of their power, and it had worked. More eerie screeches of rage, cants of hatred and revenge belted out over the channels as the Lances found their target unfalteringly in the belly of the beast.

Finally? It hits something critical and a deeply brilliant explosion of dark orange bursting at the seams from the Princess's belt armour and - ... with a fiery fireball? She was gone. Just like that.

Still, the question of how exactly this mystery carrier had been able to deal so much damage to that princess, where even She and Liscome's own numerous hits (even empowered through the link) had failed to meaningfully damage, was… annoyingly present, niggling in her mind.

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September XX? 2022 + 7 Days?

1205 Hours - In Battle - On the Sea, North of Vancouver Island 

"Their performance… was beautiful," I mumbled softly as I gazed down at these American planes below, conducting their attack. "Desu desu desu, desu," My unit commander agreed passionately.

"A Peerless swoop, wings as one, eagles fly forth" I quietly added on, nervously (why? Kaga… No, I…no, it was Kaga who wasn't supposed to be nervous) and softly running my hand through my side ponytail to assuage this feeling. Things paused for a moment as I drank in this sight.

It seemed…. Almost quite unnatural, I noted, my eyes narrowing down at them. It was nigh perfect coordination. Perfect, if perhaps almost …desperate and focused. And … and that wasn't even commenting on how … ridiculous it all seemed.

How in everything that was on these oceans were they doing so much damage (hitting so much and with such force) with so little? It was… ridiculous. Yes, it was a near-perfect level of coordination combined with a rather unnerving efficiency against these… creatures, but… 

Would they turn those planes on me now that they've finished off whatever those were? A pit of wary, nervous sense of disquiet settled deeply into my … boilers/stomach. Whatever it was.

But this wasn't Kaga. I was supposed to be made of sterner materials. Resolute and strong, perhaps not to the degree of stupidity. That performance had been terrifying to witness, even against such slow targets, and - … and because, yet, even I… even I, Kaga was not stupid, and…- Wait, no I was not Kaga, …. But I was Kaga, right? I was Kaga but yes- no, I was Kaga yet not, no, absolutely not Kaga, because I was Canadian, and yet I wasn't, yet I was Ka- and- Stop. 

I take a moment to viscerally shake my head.

Yes, it was indeed beautiful. "Desu desu desu," My Unit Commander commented, something about giving the highest praises to their flight leaders and pilots for such a display once she had the chance to meet them. I found myself softly nodding my head in agreement.

It truly was something to behold. "Desu dess desu dess," The Captain said with a sigh, and- "Sorry," I said, embarrassed. Yes, I suppose my haiku did need some work, and yet I wasn't even sure why I felt the need to do that, even.

But I took a deep breath… and I exhaled a long note. "Begin the strike," I try to belay the hitch of worry in my voice.

I think I was successful in that endeavour. I feel my commander beginning to lead her shotai to prime attack positions. 3 Shotai's for each of these ships. Two for that Battleship…. I…  Why did I smell smoke? Why was I staring down from a plane, at ships in a harbour, trapped and-

Not the time for that, I shake my head yet again. "Yes, two for that Battleship, and split one for the remaining heavy cruisers." It was a solid plan, one also assisted by the Dive Bombers- they would ideally serve to suppress whatever anti-aircraft guns they had and hopefully protect my own planes.

And so, with that, slowly planning out-- "Desu dess desu!" my air captain called out, and I could feel that my second strike was raring to go. I could feel the sweat dripping on the hangar bay's crew, the exhaustion from having pushed themselves.

"I-" I didn't quite know what to do. I… realistically knew I should have immediately switched focus to get them up in the air, and yet I also wanted to watch this strike play out.

I was hesitant and indecisive, just like Midw- I took a sharp breath inwards, forcing those thoughts to shut up. This strike wasn't going to take that long.

"Arigatōgozaimasu o yasumikudasai." I mumbled out to them as I then turned my attention to the aircraft on my deck; the remaining Kansen and Kanbaku Chutais, along with a full Kanko Daitai of the 6th and 7th Chutai… I… felt a little bit worried for my pilots, of those who must have surely been exhausted from the scouting earlier, right?

I cleared my throat before simply stating "Kōkūki no junbi o onegai shimasu. Kore ni wa sukoshi jikan ga kakarimasu." I bowed slightly to them, hoping they would understand. But why would they? It didn't make any sense, I should have just gotten them launched… but… Surely it would be necessary to know how it went, first, right?

These were just excuses, but… I had to accept that for myself, somehow.

I focused back on my unit commander and watched, even as I flinched lightly at the puffs of smoke everywhere, which were… surprisingly light.

I saw the planes, my planes, my Aichi Dive Bombers coming from above, and I held my breath, praying for their safety.

Then they began their long dive downwards. Almost immediately, results were delivered with deadly efficiency. 3 booming explosions, and several more torpedo hits billowed on the battleship, and I could have sworn I heard a loud howl of anger…

The heavy cruiser seemed to fare worse- on this leading cruiser, two hits, a near miss, it slowed considerably… But it burned and exploded with a brilliant flare of red and orange. A single bomb, likely piercing something, and I wasn't quite sure what.

Then came the other torpedo bombers, my third flight moved to the first large destroyer… or was it a light cruiser?

But such musings were behind me- the other B5Ns swung into place, the Anvil to the Aichi's Hammer- in a stroke, they released with masterful precision, slamming torpedo after torpedo into their sides, the Battleship slowed to a stop, the Cruiser seemed to keel over, and that lighter one? It was gone before I had time to blink.

"What else can be expected of us from the Kidō Butai?" I sniffed into a huff, tossing back my side ponytail and beginning to strut. Maybe if Akagi saw that, she would be impressed, and maybe that arrogant little craneling would finally realise that her senior was superior.

After a moment, I sighed and shook my head, "I'm not Kaga," I reminded myself, "I am Canadian," or maybe I wasn't. So what even was that? I… Our planes were damaged; they might not make it back. 2 of our fighters were scratched, and a nasty hole in one of my B5Ns. "Come back quickly, stay safe," I ordered in a … not unfamiliar somehow …

Sense of loss. What was I even supposed to do about that?

… "Need to launch my planes," I chided, trying to suppress the nausea of- of what if I lost planes this time? Their anti-aircraft was light, but… but what if it hit something critical with this next strike? What if I lost a pilot? Or… or multiple?

I… didn't like that gnawing in my stomach, and I knew I had to push past it. So I instead opted to frown as I gazed off at the smoke in the distance, gently and numbly pulling out the first small flight of my ad-hoc Kanko Daitai.

I matched it with the bow, gave my pilots a soft smile, raised it high, drawing it over my head, waiting, aiming and… firing. It was a pleasant solution for relaxation, but I knew I couldn't afford to truly rest.

This was going to take a while, but at least it would take my mind off things.

Still, the question of just how it was that they had done so much more with so little was… annoyingly present in my mind. But I don't ruminate on that, not with another strike to commence.