Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Monday –

Wilhelm

"Mom, I don’t fucking want to share a room with some random guy. Why can’t I just have my own fucking room?" Wilhelm screamed. It wasn’t fair.
"It would be good for you to make some friends, Wilhelm. Just because you're the crown prince does not mean you get everything you want," she said, her face ice-cold—completely emotionless. It scared Wilhelm. How can someone be so empty?

"But Mom—"

"No buts, Wilhelm. I’m your mother. I have the final say." She turned around and walked out before Wilhelm could respond.
Wow. That is really it. Wilhelm have to share a room. That was not even the worst part, sharing a room sucked—but it was the thought of never being alone. It sounded strange, even in Wilhelms head. He was used to being alone. His parents were always away on business trips or vacations, and his brother Erik was… well, dead.

The palace felt small, even with more rooms than he could count. Wilhelm is not even sure he has seen them all. After Erik died, he just stayed in my room. It felt safer there.

When Kristina and Ludvig were gone, Wilhelm was always alone. Sometimes a maid would check in if I hadn’t left my room all day. They’d bring food, but he was never hungry. Eating made him feel sick. Once, a maid asked if he had an eating disorder. Kristina overheard and fired her. Wilhelm never saw her again. It didn’t show up in the news, but Kristina controls everything the media sees—even the tiniest things.

"Fuck," Wilhelm whispered under my breath, even though he was alone in the room. A thousand bodyguards were probably right outside the door. Wilhelm is sure his mom was listening too. She hates it when he swears. Says it’s not “what crown princes do.”

He hates when she says that.

One week later

A maid opened Wilhelms window and gently shook him awake.

Today was the day. Wilhelm had to leave for Hillerksa. He hadn’t been counting down. It felt like he was moving out, leaving his parents behind. Even though they were never around, it still felt weird. And yeah, he was sharing a room… probably with some rich kid who only liked him because he was the crown prince. His parents weren’t even home when he left. Another “emergency business trip.”

Wilhelm didn’t think he would miss them. Kristina was always cold and emotionless, and Ludvig just followed her around like a little dog. They were never good parents. Never hugged him. Never told him they were proud. There was always something he could’ve done better.

Wilhelm doesn’t remember much of his childhood—and that’s probably a good thing. But he does remember one day.

Flashback

Wilhelms parents were away, as usual. It was just him and Erik at home. They could do whatever they wanted.

They watched movies, made popcorn, and ate candy and ice cream. They were sitting on the couch when Erik paused the movie. His face had turned serious.
"Wilhelm, can I ask you something serious?" he said gently. He wasn’t pushing Wilhelm knew if he didn’t want to talk, he’d drop it.

"Yeah..." Wilhelm was nervous. They didn’t usually talk about serious stuff.

"You’ve seemed a bit down lately. Is there anything you want to talk about? You know you can tell me anything, right?" he asked, a little hesitant.
"I know, Erik. But I’m fine. Just tired." That was a lie. He wasn’t fine. But why burden Erik with that? He already had the pressure of being the crown prince.
"I’m serious, Wille. Just say it. I know something’s wrong. You know I won’t judge." His voice was calm, full of concern.

A thousand thoughts screamed in Wilhelms head.

Does he know? Will he judge me? What do I say? Will he tell our parents? Why can’t I just say it? I’m such an idiot.

“Wille… it’s okay,” Erik said softly. “You don’t have to tell me. But I promise I won’t say anything.”

Did he zone out? How did he know something was wrong?

"I’m sorry, Erik. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I— I— I don’t know," Wilhelm stammered.

"Hey, hey. It’s okay. Take a deep breath, okay?" Erik looked right into his eyes.

"I don’t know how to say it, but—do you promise you won’t tell Mom and Dad?"

"Of course. I won’t tell anyone."

"I— I have this awful feeling in my head… and these voices. They tell me I’m not worth anything. That I’m a disappointment." Tears stung his eyes, and he looked away. Wilhelm couldn’t face Erik.

"Oh, Wille," he whispered, his voice carring. "You’re not a disappointment. You’re one of the strongest people I know. Being a prince isn’t easy—and you’re still so young. If Mom and Dad made you feel like this, I’ll talk to them. But only if you want me to. And maybe… maybe we could find you someone to talk to. Like a therapist."

Wilhelm saw tears start to gather in Eriks eyes too. He sounded serious. Comforting. Like he really meant it.

"Can we not tell them yet? I’ll tell them if it gets worse."

He nodded, pulled me into a hug, and didn’t let go.

He died one week later.

End of flashback

“Crown Prince Wilhelm, you need to get up now. Breakfast is in ten minutes, and we leave for Hillerksa in two hours. You can leave your packed bags in the hallway, and I’ll take them to the car,” the maid said softly.

She’s like Wilhelms second mom. Always the one waking him up, helping him—even when Mom is home.

“Okay. Thank you.” Kristina always taught Wilhelms how to talk to people, and how you can never say what’s really on your mind, you must be polite.
Wilhelms wasn’t hungry; he also wasn’t going to eat anyway cause he’s too nervous about going to hillerksa.

2 hours later

“Crown Prince Wilhelm, are you ready to leave? We need to leave in the next 10 minutes if we want to be on time” Malin said, she’s Wilhelms favorite bodyguard because she’s always been there if he needed her, Wilhelm is aware that she’s only there because she gets paid, but he also believe that’s she kind of think of Wilhelms like her child.

“Yes, Malin thank you I’m ready to leave now”

1 hour later

“Crown Prince Wilhelm, we are here now, are you ready to leave?”

“Yes, thanks you very much”

When Wilhelm walked out of the car everyone stared at him. Everyone. Wilhelm was not just the new guy; he was the fucking Crown Prince of Sweden that didn’t start school the day everyone else started but started 1 month later because he was at a party and broke into a fight and then he was forced to start at this school because of his mom. So, he was different.

“Malin can we just go to my room now, I don’t want anyone to talk to me right now” Wilhelm was already on his way to his room, but he just felt like he should tell Malin.

“Yes, that we can do, Wilhelm” Malin began to call him Wilhelm, after he had told her about a thousand times, he just didn’t feel comfortable with being called “Crown Prince Wilhelm” it just didn’t feel real.

He walked fast to escape all the eyes on him, it felt like he was being suffocated, even though he couldn’t hear their thoughts he could still feel them.
He’s so weird, omg he can probably give us so much money, omg you should date him so you can become royal, do you think he likes me, I bet he’s just going to be an idiot.

As soon as he opened the door to his room, or his shared room, he met with some eyes staring at him, there was hate in those eyes, not just looking at him, they were hating him, how could they, he didn’t do anything wrong. He thinks. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding.

He had curls around his ears, his eyes were brown, he had a light tan, and he had a piercing in his left eyebrow.
“Is she going to stay in this room as well?” he said looking at Malin.

“Eh- no, she’s just my bodyguard, she’s going to be outside my room” Wilhelms didn’t want to look him in the eyes, it felt like he would be dead if he just looked at them.

“You mean our room” He snapped. “It was actually my room but apparently I had to share a room with the fucking crown prince, which I’m definitely not happy about, and why the fuck can’t you just get your own room, cause there’s no way you would like to share a room with anybody”

“Yea sorry I meant our room, and yes I didn’t want to share a room with anybody, but my mom said I had to” great he have to share a room with a fucking idiot.
“Okay well good cause I don’t want to share MY room anyway so we can just go to the principal and ask if you can get your own room, and since you are the crown prince then she can’t say no or something like that” he said on his way out of the room, which Wilhelm assume he was going to go to the principal office.
“I’m sorry but we can’t do that, the principal signed an NDA so if anything happens with me, she must tell my mom” Wilhelm was sorry cause it really felt like the other boy didn’t want to share a room with Wilhelm, but it’s fine, he doesn’t want to share a room with him either, right?
“Omg, why do royals have to be so extra” he rolled his eyes and flopped down on his bed again, he put some headphones in his ears and began paying music.
“Can you turn it down I can still hear it” Wilhelm said as he was unpacking his clothes.

“No thank you princey” Wilhelm could hear he turned the music up.

Wilhelm was really going to have to share a room with him for the next three years, but at least Wilhelm hopefully won’t be in any of his classes.

~~~~~~~~

“So, is there anything you can do in this school, or do you just sit there in your bed all day with music in your ears so loud you will be deaf in the next 20 years?” Wilhelm said as he watched him slowly sitting up, Wilhelm still didn’t know his name, but he obviously knew Wilhelms but isn’t it just normal to say your name when you meet a new person that you are going to spend the next 3 years living with.

“Idk princey, go look around the school and find you some friends, and mind your own fucking business I can play as loud music as I fucking want to” he snapped, he definitely has some anger issues.

“Okay chill, I was just asking, but what’s your name, you haven’t told me yet” Wilhelm sighed, why can’t he just be a little more polite, because this is too awkward.
“I’m not fucking telling you princey, go ask the rich snobs at this school, they will probably tell you” He said as he took his headphones on again, and turned the music all the way up again.

“What the fuck is your problem, why can’t you just tell me, I did nothing wrong to you, it’s not my fucking fault that I have to share a room with you, if it was up to me I wouldn’t even be here at this school” Wilhelm ran a hand through his hair, there’s no way he just said that, I his mom heard that he’s sure she would faint and them give him a lecture on how to act in public.

“Looks like someone’s desperate, but my name is Simon, and idk what you want to do with that, but please just don’t fucking talk to me anymore, I do not want to hear your voice more today” he put his headphones on again and rolled his eyes.

Wilhelm didn’t know what to say, no one had ever talked to him like that.

“I’m not fucking desperate I’m just raised well, cause my mom actually care how I act” Wilhelm glared a Simon again.

Simon sprang up from his bed and got up in Wilhelms face “don’t fucking talking about my mom like that I will fucking end your life, so keep my name and my fucking mom out of your mouth and fuck off, go out to the other people, I don’t give a fuck that you are the prince get out” Simon said with fire in his eyes, you could still hear his music, cause he didn’t have time to turn it off before he came launching over to Wilhelm.

“Okay I’m sorry, it wasn’t my place, I will leave now” Wilhelm said already over at the door.

Was he really scared of Simon?

No there is no way.

~~~~~~~

“Hey guys, I’m eh- Wilhelm, it’s nice to meet you” Wilhelm said and ran a nervous hand through his hair. Eyes darting to him as soon as he entered the room, he felt like he was being held at gun point and one wrong move or word would get him killed.

“Oh, hey Wilhelm, how’s your first day” august said, he was his first cousin so he kind of had to say something, but Wilhelm never really liked him, he was homophobic so who could blame Wilhelm.

“Yea it was good, but my roommate it kind of weird, its Simon I you guys know him” Wilhelm said only locking eyes with august, he could still feel all the eyes on him, but he tried to keep that out of his mind.

“Oh, I’m sorry wille, he’s kind of weird, and if you say just the smallest thing wtong he will snap, he definitely has anger issues” august was also looking at the other boys to get some more in on the conversation.

“Yea one time, the teacher asked him a question about his dad, and he totally flipped an said things like that he should mind his own business and stuff like that” a boy sitting next to august said.

“Oh really, he also kind of snapped at me because I mentioned his mom” Wilhelm was now looking for a place to sit but there wasn’t really any room, so he had to just keep standing.

“Oh, hit well that’s not good” august replied, his gaze was not one Wilhelm anymore, he was focused on his game that he was playing with one of the other boys.
“I think I’m just going to go back to my room now but ill se you guys tomorrow” Wilhelm said as he was already half out the door.

He didn’t get an answer from august or the other boys, be he really couldn’t careless, because he really didn’t like august.

~~~~~~~~~~

Wilhelm knocked on the door because he didn’t really want to irritate Simon anymore, that he already did, he of course didn’t get an answer, probably cause Simon was hearing loud music, but he still waited a bit.

After what felt like forever, but it was more like 2 minutes Wilhelm decided to go in, it was also his room after all.

“Hey, I’m back” Wilhelm said, he felt nervous cause he knew that one wrong move could get Simon to snap at him again, and that was the last thing Wilhelm needed after a long day.

“Yea well I can fucking see that” Simon said, he was focused on something on his phone.

“Simon, you don’t need to be rude to me I didn’t do anything wrong” Wilhelm said as he sat down on his bed, Simon turned of his music and looked up at Wilhelm.
“You fucking took my room, I liked being alone but now I have to hear you talk every fucking day” Simon said as he looked at Wilhelm his curls jumping around his face, his gaze fixed on Wilhelm, but he immediately looked away the second Wilhelm looked at him.

“listen I don’t fucking want to share a room with you but as I said its my mom, if it was up to me I wouldn’t be here, and I don’t want to fucking listen to you talk, so either you can live with it or you can go live with some of your friends at this school” Wilhelm snapped, he never thought he would ever say that to someone.
“Wow okay princey now don’t fucking talk to me again” Simon said and turned his music on again.

It was already a bit late, and Wilhelm had come after the rest of the school had eaten dinner, so he just went to sleep and hoped Simon would be in a better mood the next day.

The next day

Wilhem was woken up by some birds chirping, he slowly oppend his eyes and then fell over to Simon’s bed, he wasn’t there, then he checked his phone. 8:15.

His half-asleep mind didn’t get it at first, but he was about to be late, his classes started at 8:30.

He quickly got up and opened his closet, he grabbed the first shirt that caught his eye and picked out a pair of jeans that looked casual.
He quickly went out the door and almost ran to his classroom.

8:25

As soon as he stepped into class, all the eyes fell on him, he felt like the room was closing in on him, like he was suffocating.

He looked around for a free spot, the first that caught his eye was a seat next to Simon, there’s probably a reason why he is sitting alone, he tried to look for any other seat, but all the seats were full.

He slowly walked over to Simon, and pulled the chair out next to him, he really didn’t want to sit here but he had no other choice, when he sat down, he could hear the music in Simon’s headphones.

Simon was focused on something, and Wilhelm didn’t care because that meant that Simon would leave him alone.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing, you can’t fucking sit with me” Simon said as he glared at Wilhelm.

Wilhelm jumped, he did not expect that.

“If you look around the classroom you can see that there are no other seats smarty pants” Wilhelm said and looked Simon in his eyes, his mother always said that you should keep eye contact with the person you are speaking with.

“Okay chill, I didn’t see that” Simon looked away from Wilhelm and looked around, thankfully nobody was really looking at them.

“Okay but if you really want, I can ask if somebody want to switch seats” Wilhelm looked around he really didn’t want to talk to anybody new but if that was the only thing that could get Simon to shut up then he would do it.

“No, I would rather sit with you than sit with anyone of those assholes” Simon looked at Wilhelm again, he quicky looked away.
“Oh, so now I’m not an asshole, looks like someone’s in a better mood today” Wilhelm teased.

“I never called you an asshole, and I’m never in a bad mood, that’s just how I am, and don’t talk to me like that or I will change my mind about you sitting here” Simon glared at Wilhelm with hate in his eyes, a little less hate then yesterday but still hate.

“Okay my bad, I’m sorry” Wilhelm have maybe judged Simon a bit hard, maybe he just needs to be a little nicer to him.

When the teacher walked in the class stopped talking and looked at her, the class began to stand up.

“Good morning Mr. Englund” the class said.

“Good morning class, you may sit down now and find your math books” he said with a smile and locked eyes with Wilhelm.

The class sat down, and Simon and Wilhelm found their math books, Wilhelm looked at Simon so he could find out what page they were on, so he didn’t have to ask Simon for help.

Wilhelm was just minding his own business when he suddenly felt a knee pressed against his own knee. He didn’t move, why should he, he’s aware that its Simon, but he doesn’t care, he likes the heat it gives his body.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize your knee was there” Simon looked under the table to confirm that it was Wilhelms even though it couldn’t be anyone else.

“Oh, its fine” Wilhelm said and looked at Simon he was met with his gaze starring at him, Simon looked away the second his eyes locked with Wilhelm.

“Ohhhhh someone’s flirty, maybe they shouldn’t have put you to in the same room” someone that sat right behind them said, he had red hair, blue eyes and was sitting next to a boy with brown hair, brown eyes and is now also looking at Simon and Wilhelm.

“Shut the fuck up henry, go fuck your boyfriend” Simon said and looked at the brown-haired boy.

“We just didn’t realize our knees was touching so shut up” Simon was now looking at henry again.

“Chill it was just a joke, and me and Walter are not boyfriends” henry scoffed and continued with his work.

“What was that Simon, why did they say that?” Wilhelm asked, he felt embarrassed.

“Nothing he’s just a dick” Simon said the last park extra loud so henry could hear it.

“Now focus on your work and don’t talk to me again” Simon looked back at his worked and began scribbling something, he wasn’t really working, but it didn’t really shocked Wilhelm cause Simon didn’t seem like the smartest kid in class, and every time Wilhelm raised his hand, Simon had to make a small comment on how he is just trying too hard.

“Oh, okay I’m sorry, but you should probably also focus on your work” Wilhelm said as he took his pencil and began writing the answer to the third question.
“Yea I will okay” Simon also began writing the answer on a question, but it was only the first question, he had been drawing on his paper the whole time.
“Psst princey can you help me, I don’t know what to do” Simon tapped Wilhelm lightly on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Mhm, idk maybe, only if you say please” Wilhelm said with a grin on his face.

Simon went silent.

Was that too much, maybe I shouldn’t have said that, maybe he doesn’t think it’s funny, should I apologize.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, cause I’m not going to say fucking please like I’m some baby” Simon looked back at his paper, he tried to answer the question himself, he even tried to look at Wilhelms paper, but Wilhelm just turned away so Simon couldn’t see his paper.

“Okay” Wilhelm said and shrugged, he didn’t care, he’s not the one that need help.

“Oh, my fucking god, fine, please princey can you help me on this question” Simon said with an annoying look on his face.
A small grin formed on Wilhelms face

“Look who’s desperate now, but yes I will help you” Wilhelm had the biggest grin on his face, he liked the way Simon needs help, it’s like he can’t do anything without help, it’s funny.

“I’m not fucking desperate but-” Simon mumbled the last words, Wilhelm did he it but that wasn’t enough he needed the whole class to hear it or at least the ones around them.

“I’m sorry I didn’t hear what you said at the end, can you repeat it” Wilhelm had the biggest grin on his face, he really enjoyed this a bit too much maybe but who cares.

“You heard what I fucking said and I’m not repeating it again, you will just have to live with it princey” Simon took the paper out Wilhelms hand and began writing the answers down on his own paper.

“Okay fine, then maybe I will just have to live with it”

“Yea you fucking will, are you like stupid or what”

Some people around the class gave them some looks but it looked like it really didn’t bother Simon and if it didn’t bother Simon then Wilhelm didn’t care.

~~~~~~

When Wilhelm walked into his room, he saw Simon lying on his bed with his headphones on, his music was loud.

The window was open, the cold breeze was coming through the window, it was cold in the room, but Simon was still lying in just a T-shirt, Wilhelm immediately put his hoodie on, how could Simon just lay in his T-shirt.

Wilhelm taped Simon on the shoulder lightly almost like he was made of glass, like he could break any second, but Wilhelm probably did it more because he was scared, he was scared that Simon would snap at him, that he would be angry, would scream at him.

“What do you want” Wilhelm stepped back immediately, he almost jumped.

“Eh I just wanted to ask if you would want to hang out with me and the rest of the boys, we are just going to play some games in the common room” Wilhelm ran a hand through his hair he always did that when he was nervous, it was sort of a calming thing.

“No thank you, none of them even like me anyways so why should I” Simon put his headphones on again.

“Okay but if you want to come at some point then we are in there” Wilhelm turned around and went out the door.

“Come on Walter you could do better than that” he heard henry say, everyone at the school had an idea that there was something between them, but no one said anything, it was like there was a small fire between them but again no one commented on it.

“Hey Wilhelm, where is your boyfriend Simon” it was august of course he had to say something, Wilhelm hated august he had always been mean to Wilhelm, even if it was just a little push or if it was blaming things on him when they were little and august was the oldest one, so everyone believed him.

“he’s not my fucking boyfriend august”

“Yea yea, but henry saw that thing you to had going on in class, so you can’t fool us” august smirked at henry to prove a point, he really didn’t need to, cause everyone one probably already heard it.

“August can you just shut the fuck up, we are not dating, we are not even friends, he just had to copy my work in class”

“Yea but he said please, so there must be something”

“I’m not fucking doing this, fuck you August” it was like Wilhelm was being suffocated, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think straight, he needed to get our, to get away from august.

Wilhelm stormed out of the room and as soon as he left, he could hear the whispers.

“That’s right go fuck your boyfriend” August said loud enough for Wilhelm to hear.

When Wilhelm opened the door to his (and Simons) room Simon wasn’t there, that’s weird, where would he go, maybe he just went to the bathroom or to the small café in the library to get a snack.

Wilhelm sat down on his bed when he heard someone talk out in the hallway. It sounded like Simon, but he wasn’t sure, until the door opened, it was Simon, he looked angry, and he also looked like he had just been crying.

“What’s wrong” Wilhelm didn’t know why but he was concerned, why had Simon been crying.

“Nothing, mind your own business” Simon sat down on his bed, he took a deep breath, then he put his headphones on and turned the music all the way up.
“Sorry, I was just wondering” Wilhelm switched his gaze away from Simon and looked back at his phone, Simon didn’t hear him, maybe that was good, maybe that was the whole point, maybe Wilhelm should just mind his own business.

Simon got a message, Wilhelm could see it, he couldn’t see who it was from but as soon as Simon read it, he sat up, he quickly got his shoes on and jacket, he then opened the window and tried to crawl out, but Wilhelm stopped him.

“Hey, where are you going, you can’t leave the school ground, it’s after 10pm” Wilhelm grabbed Simon’s writs and tried to stop him, but Simon just shoved him off and got out the window.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do, I’ll be back in the next two hours, so don’t fucking tell anybody” Simon took his backpack on and began walking away.
What did he need to do so late. What was the text he got. Why was he in such a hurry. Why?

Wilhelm closed the window and sat down on his bed again, he heard someone talking out in the hallway again, this time it sounded like Walter and Henry, they were probably just getting some snacks and then going back to the rest of the boys.

Wilhelm considered also going back to the boys but then he would have to listen to august and everything he has to say about him and Simon.

Wilhelm stayed seated, the cold from the window still lingering on his hands. He looked at the empty spot on Simon’s bed, the crumpled sheets, the pillow still faintly shaped by his head. He wasn’t just going for a walk. Not with that tone, not with that look in his eyes. And not with that backpack.

The buzz of the earlier text message echoed in Wilhelm’s mind. He hadn’t seen it, but he’d seen Simon’s face after reading it—tight-jawed, eyes darting, knuckles white around his phone. Like something urgent. Or dangerous.

In the hallway, Walter laughed, loud and carefree. Henry said something muffled in return, followed by the soft crack of a soda can. Life, as far as they were concerned, continued as normal.

But something wasn’t right.

Wilhelm leaned forward, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. Should he follow Simon? Text him? Tell a teacher? He’d promised not to tell anyone—but what if Simon was walking into something bad?

Then again, it wasn’t like Simon ever told him the full truth anyway. Not since the fight with August. Not since that weird call in the middle of the night last week that Simon had brushed off with a “just a cousin.” A cousin who made him leave the building at 10:15 on a Friday night with a half-zipped backpack and a look that screamed don’t follow me.

Wilhelm stood up. He wasn’t going to sit here and wait.

He reached for his phone and typed:

“Where are you really going?”

He hit send.

No reply.

A second later, three dots appeared. Then stopped. Then nothing.

Why did he start texting and then stop?

Wilhelm just stared at the message, Simon had seen it, began to reply but then stopped, why did he do that.

Wilhelm thoughts began to spiral, what did he not reply, maybe it was wrong for Wilhelm to text him, maybe he shouldn’t have done that, they had never really texted before only to schedule study time.

Wilhelm couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t stop thinking about that text and why Simon just left.

He lay back on the bed, phone on his chest, staring at the ceiling like it might give him answers.

The silence in the room was too loud. Every creak of the old floorboards, every gust of wind brushing against the window felt like a whisper trying to tell him something he couldn’t quite hear. He picked up his phone again—checked it, even though he knew nothing had come in.

Still no reply.

Wilhelm sat up, restless, the tension in his stomach coiled like wire. He thought of all the times Simon had been distant lately. The way he would zone out during class, how he’d start saying something and then bite it back, as if he didn’t trust the words—or didn’t trust Wilhelm to hear them.

He opened Simon’s contact again, thumb hovering.

“Should I have asked that?”

Delete.

“You okay?”

Delete.

“I won’t tell anyone, I just… want to know.”

Delete.

He tossed the phone aside and stood, pacing the room in his socks.

Wilhelm walked to the window again, pushing it open slightly. Cold air met his face, sharp and sobering. The woods were dark, and Simon was still out there—somewhere.

What if something happened to him?

He checked the time. 11:04.

That was 49 minutes since Simon left.

Wilhelm grabbed his hoodie and sat on the edge of his bed again, bouncing one leg nervously. He wasn’t going to sleep. Not until Simon came back. Not until he had answers.

His phone buzzed.

Wilhelm grabbed it so fast he nearly dropped it.

Simon:

“Don’t come looking for me. I mean it.”

That was it. No explanation. No emoji.

Wilhelm read it three times. Four.

He didn’t know whether to feel relieved or more worried.

But he knew one thing now—

Simon was lying.

~~~~~~~

Wilhelm almost jumped when he heard a knock on the window, who would knock on his window this late, then it hit him. It was Simon. He must’ve fallen asleep even though he told himself not to.

He checked the time. 00:35. He quickly got up and opened the window so Simon could climb back in. When Simon got inside the room Wilhelm could see a bruise on his face and a scratch mark on his hand, he also had glass sitting in his hand, it looked like it was from a beer bottle.

“What happened, are you okay, do you need help, I can put some bandage on your hand if you want” Wilhelm reached out for Simons hand, but Simon flinched away. Wilhem stepped back; did he cross a line?

“I don’t need your fucking help and it’s not your business what happened but for your information I just fell” Simon walked out to the bathroom and locked the door.

Maybe Wilhelm should just go to sleep, but he couldn’t, what if Simon needed help, he knew that Simon needed help but maybe Simon was just too scared to ask for help.

Wilhelm got up and knocked on the bathroom door, “Simon do you need help, I promise I won’t judge you; you can tell me what happened” why did Wilhelm care so much.

Simon unlocked the door, he looked like he had been crying again, he had been trying ti pick the glass out of his hands.
“Fine, can you help me take out the glass of my hands?” Wilhelm has never seen this side of Simon, Simon had always been angry or just not needing help with anything (only his homework in class).

“Eh, yea of course, come sit on the bed, it’s easier than out here in the bathroom” Simon followed Wilhelm to his bed so Wilhelm could help Simon.
“What really happened Simon?” Wilhelm took some tweezers from his drawer on his table beside his bed.

“I told you, I just feel, and when I feel I had a beer in my hands, so that’s why there’s glass in my hands”

That wouldn’t explain the bruise on Simons head but Wilhelm decided to not go further.

Wilhelm could see the sadness in Simons eyes, it looked like he was slowly being killed, like he thought someone was going to come after him.
Wilhelm could slowly see the panic in Simons eyes to get bigger; it took over his whole body, he began to shake.

“Simon it’s okay no one’s is going to come, no one, your safe here, it’s okay”

Simon’s breathing began to pick up.

“Okay Simon listen to me, it’s okay, I promise you, no one is here, it just us you’re safe”

Simon began to relax a little, he tried to breathe in, but he broke down, what was Wilhelm supposed to do, Wilhelm had panic attacks all his life, but he was normally alone when it happened, so he just had to fix it on his own.

Wilhelm wrapped his arms around Simon and Simon just moved closer so Wilhelm, so it was more comfortable, Simon was never like this, but it felt nice to not argue, it was almost like they were friends. Almost.

Simon slowly began to relax, and he sat up and wiped his tears rom his cheeks with the sleave of his hoodie, it was purple, Wilhelm thinks its Simons favorite cause he always wears it.

“it’s okay Simon, I’m done with the glass in your hands, and I also put some bandage on, you can go to sleep now” Wilhelm slowly got up and helped Simon to his bed, Simon walked a little slow and almost fell one time, but Wilhelm helped him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened” Simon tugged himself under his blanket and fixed his pillow.
“It’s okay, you just had a panic attack that happens to everyone”

Simon didn’t answer, he just closed his eyes and turned around so he faced the wall.

Wilhelm laid down in his bed and closed his eyes, he couldn’t sleep at the beginning, but he fell asleep at some point.

Chapter Text

“I don’t understand why Wilhelm would ever date you,” August said, sitting across from Simon and next to Nils.
They had history, and when they did, they mixed the first, second, and third years so they were all together to “create a great bond in the school.” It was some shit the principal said at the start of the year.

“We’re not fucking dating, August, so shut the fuck up.”
Simon looked around, and all eyes were on him. Why did August even have to be here? Could he just not skip one day and, like, fall into a hole in the ground and then get eaten by sharks and then get burned?

“Yeah, sure,” August said. “Walter heard Wilhelm say to you yesterday at like 1 a.m. that ‘you’re safe, it’s going to be okay, I’m here.’ Like, you’re definitely a couple. And he also heard you crying, so I hope you don’t have any problems in your relationship.”
He had that fucking ugly smirk on his face when he said it. Simon wanted to throw a fucking chair at him and rub his face in some mud.

“I was having a panic attack, and he helped because I fucking couldn’t breathe,” Simon snapped, glaring at Walter. Of course he had to have heard it. And it wasn’t like anything was happening — Simon was just having a panic attack, and Wilhelm helped him.

“Are you sure that’s why you couldn’t breathe?”
The whole class started laughing, and Simon had had enough. He stormed out.

Simon’s boots slammed against the hallway floor as he walked faster, hands clenched into fists so tight his nails dug into his palms. His vision blurred at the edges, rage pressing at his throat like a scream he wouldn’t let out.

Why did August always have to do this? Why did he always get off on humiliating him, twisting everything into something dirty?

He didn’t even know where he was going — just away. Away from the stares, the laughter, the smug grin on August’s face like he owned the fucking world.
He pushed open the nearest door and found himself in the boys’ bathroom, locking the stall before sliding down to the floor.

His chest still hurt.
He hated that they all laughed. That they thought it was funny. That Walter listened in and told August — like it was gossip. Like it wasn’t one of the worst nights Simon had had in months.

Simon’s breathing began to pick up. He couldn’t control it. It was like a wave of panic washed over him. His head began spinning, and the room blurred; it was like the whole world was against him.

It had been like this for months. He was the target — the one everyone could easily bully.
No one noticed, but he was slowly dying. So slow that it was almost torture. So slow that no one noticed. So slow not even Sara or his mom noticed. So slow that Simon didn’t even notice it.

“Where did you storm off to yesterday, did you go to your boyfriend?”
It was August again. Of course it was fucking August. Couldn’t he just shut the fuck up and leave them alone?

“I didn’t go to Wilhelm because he is not my boyfriend, I just went out.”
Simon could feel all eyes on him. He could almost feel their thoughts.

“And just so you know, just because we’re the only gay people here doesn’t mean we’re dating. That is just homophobic.”
Now all eyes were really on Simon. It felt good to finally say something back, to see the smile on August’s face slowly fade away.

“I’m not fucking homophobic; you just can’t handle the truth.”

Silence.
No one said anything. You could hear the birds outside. Then people began to whisper — just what Simon needed.

Wilhelm and Simon sat in the library doing some homework they hadn’t finished in class. They weren’t talking, so there was this uncomfortable silence.

“Why didn’t you come back to the dorm yesterday?”
“Why do you care?”
Simon didn’t dare look Wilhelm in the eyes; he feared what look he would see.

“I don’t know, I’m just curious.”
Wilhelm also didn’t want to look Simon in the eyes.

“Ehh, I was just with my mom.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, I’m fucking sure, now leave me alone.”
Simon grabbed his things and stormed out of the library. He almost ran. Almost. It just became too much. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like the walls were closing in on him.

He slammed the dorm door open and slid down to the floor so no one could open it.
Simon couldn’t see anything; it was like he was slowly drifting away from the rest of the world.

Simon could hear loud footsteps outside the dorm, then knocking, then a very familiar voice. He almost died at that point.

“Simon, can you open the door?”
Wilhelm really did sound caring, like he cared — but then again, why would anybody care?

“Leave me alone, I don’t need your fucking help.”
Simon stood up and opened the door and stormed out, he almost couldn’t see because of the tears in his eyes.

“Simon, you need help.”
Wilhelm tried to grab Simon’s hand to hold him back so he couldn’t leave. Couldn’t do anything stupid — to anyone. To himself.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”
Simon walked, breathing hard and lost in his thoughts. Wilhelm followed him. Why?

“If you follow me, I promise you I will kill you.”
Simon’s voice was broken, filled with tears and anger.

Wilhelm stopped. He didn’t know what to do. Should he follow him?

Simon stormed out of the school and went to the bus stop, tears still in his eyes.

Wilhelm sat on his bed, hands shaky, hovering over Simon’s contact name. Should he text him? Call him?

He sat for five minutes before deciding to text.

Wilhelm:
Hey, where are you??

Simon:
I told you to not fucking text me.
And it’s none of your fucking business.

*This contact has blocked you.*

Blocked.

Wilhelm threw his phone across the room. He didn’t care if it broke — he’d just get his mom to buy a new one, say he dropped it while running, get a lecture on being more careful, and then have a new one an hour later.

Simon came back to the dorm late that night.
1 a.m. to be exact. Wilhelm couldn’t sleep, but when Simon came in the room, he acted like he was sleeping.

The next day in class, Simon wasn’t there. He also wasn’t there when Wilhelm woke up.
At breakfast, he was also gone. Breakfast was easy that morning — just a small comment from August, but Wilhelm ignored him. The only thing August wanted was a reaction, and Wilhelm wasn’t giving it to him.

When Wilhelm got back to the dorm, Simon was sitting on his bed with music in his ears. He had a blue t-shirt on, and right below his sleeve on his right arm was a bruise. Wilhelm didn’t think much of it until he remembered another bruise he saw on Simon’s leg one day after PE. That day had also been the day after he’d been out all night.

“Why do you have a bruise on your arm?” Wilhelm asked as he got his books from his backpack.

“I just walked into a tree, because it was dark outside and I couldn’t see anything.”
“Okay, if you say so.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, chill.”
“Don’t fucking tell me to chill.”
“What the fuck did I ever do to you? Why are you always so mean to me, Simon?”

Silence. Simon didn’t answer. Maybe there wasn’t really a reason.

“Why? Or are you just a fucking asshole all the time?”
Simon still didn’t answer. What could he say?

“Idk. I’m sorry.”

Oh. Did he say sorry? Wilhelm had never seen this side of Simon. It was weird. But nice? No — Simon should say sorry. He was angry at Wilhelm all the time for no reason at all.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry for shouting at you.”
“No, it’s not fine. I am really sorry.”
“I promise you, Simon, it’s fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. I promise.”

Maybe it wasn’t fine, and Wilhelm wasn’t really telling the truth, but he couldn’t say that to Simon — not when he could see he was on the verge of tears.

Wilhelm could feel that there was a shift in their friendship.
No, they weren’t friends — but at least they weren’t really that angry at each other anymore. There were fewer fights. Of course, they kept their distance, but it was like a weighted blanket had been lifted off them.

“Wilhelm, you coming to the party tonight?”
It was August. God, Wilhelm hated him.
“You can bring your boyfriend,” August added with that stupid smirk on his face. Wilhelm wanted to punch him.

“He’s not my boyfriend, you fucking asshole,” Wilhelm snapped back.
It was true — August was a fucking asshole.

“Okay, chill dude. It was just a joke.”

“Yeah? Well, no one laughed. So fuck off.”
Wilhelm grabbed his things and headed back to the dorm.

When he walked in, Simon was there — lying on his bed in a baggy shirt and some loose jeans.

“August just asked me if I wanted to go to the party tonight. Are you coming?”

“Ehh, I don’t know. Maybe. Let me think about it.”

“Okay, but think about this — you could get wasted.”

Simon laughed.
That was probably the first time Wilhelm had ever heard him laugh. It was kind of... cute.

“Okay then, I’ll come to the party so I can get wasted.”

“Okay, deal. But you know, you should really laugh more. It’s sweet.”

“Well, thank you.”

“Yeah. You should actually thank me.”

Wilhelm and Simon walked into the palace together.
The party had already started — loud music, louder talking, and it smelled like booze.

This was going to be great.
Simon could drink all he wanted and just forget everything. The rest could be tomorrow’s problem.

“I’m gonna go get something to drink — you want some?”
Simon leaned in to whisper in Wilhelm’s ear.

Wilhelm could feel Simon’s hot breath on his skin. It sent shivers down his spine.
Simon was so close, but so far.

“Yeah, just grab me something. I’ll wait here.”

“Okay. I’ll be quick.”

“Hey man, glad you came. Do you have Simon with you?”

“August, I’m not in the mood to talk to you right now, so respectfully — fuck off.”

“Chill, I was just trying to talk to you.”

“Okay, well, I really don’t give a fuck. So go.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that.”

“You can’t fucking decide what I can and can’t say.”

Simon was just getting the drinks when he heard Wilhelm’s voice. It was loud — he was shouting.

Wilhelm almost never shouted. This was new.

“What the fuck is going on here?”
Simon looked at Wilhelm, then at August.
Of course it was August.

“Your fucking boyfriend is being an asshole, and I didn’t even fucking do anything.”

“We are not fucking boyfriends, August. What’s so hard to understand?”

Wilhelm raised his hand — like he was about to hit August.

“Did you just fucking hit me?”

“Yeah — ’cause you were being an asshole.”

“Wille, we need to leave. Now.”
Simon took Wilhelm’s hand and dragged him out.

“Yeah, fucking leave!” August yelled behind them.

“What the fuck was that?”

“He was being a fucking asshole.”

“Okay — that doesn’t mean you can just fucking punch him in the face.”

“But—”

“Wille, that was so fucking stupid. You could get suspended. What the fuck — oh my God, why the fuck would you do that?”

“Why the fuck do you care?”

“Maybe ’cause you fucking never do things like that!”

Simon looked disappointed.
Was Simon disappointed in Wilhelm?

“Just fucking leave me alone. I don’t give a fuck that I punched August. He fucking deserved it.”

Wilhelm stormed off. He was angry — so fucking angry.

Why didn’t Simon understand him?
Why did he say it was stupid?

“What the fuck, Wille, you can’t just leave!”

“I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

“Okay, fine. Then fucking leave!”

“Fuck you!”

When Wilhelm got back to the dorm, he crashed on the bed.
What the fuck just happened?

He put on his headphones. He turned the volume up — all the way — but he couldn’t think about the music.

All he could think about was the argument with Simon.

Was Simon angry with him?

Why was he so angry? He hated August too.
They both hated him. But still, Simon was mad at Wilhelm for punching August — not at August for being an asshole.

What the fuck?

Wilhelm’s vision was beginning to blur. His breathing quickened.

He felt a tear roll down his cheek. It felt weird.
Like his whole body just gave up right then and there — but he was still lying in his bed.

Was he really crying because of an argument with Simon?
What a fucking baby.
What the fuck is wrong with him?

What the fuck?

There was a knock at the door.

Wilhelm didn’t move.

Another knock — louder this time.

He ripped the headphones off and threw them across the room. “Fucking what?!”

No answer.

He sat up, wiped his face with his sleeve. His hands were shaking.
He didn’t know if it was from the anger or the way his chest still wouldn’t stop tightening.

A third knock.

“Go the fuck away!” he shouted, voice cracking.

Then he heard it.

“Wille.”

Simon.

Wilhelm froze.

For a second, he wanted to pretend he didn’t hear him.
Maybe Simon would just leave.
Maybe if he stayed quiet, stayed still, none of this would matter tomorrow.

But Simon said his name again — softer this time.

“Wilhelm. Please.”

Fuck.

He got up and opened the door. Just a crack.

Simon was standing there, arms crossed, eyes on the floor.
He looked like he hadn’t calmed down either — but he wasn’t yelling anymore.

“What do you want?” Wilhelm asked.
He tried to sound cold, but it just came out tired.

“I don’t know,” Simon said. “I just… I didn’t want to leave it like that.”

Wilhelm leaned his forehead against the doorframe. “Well, it’s already fucked, so.”

Simon didn’t say anything for a while. Then he looked up.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was taking August’s side.”

“You did.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Wilhelm opened the door a little wider, but didn’t step aside.

“You said it was stupid. Like I was stupid.”

“I was scared,” Simon said quietly. “You’ve never done that before. It was like I didn’t recognize you.”

Wilhelm’s throat tightened again.

“Yeah, well... maybe you don’t know me that well.”

“Can we just talk about this tomorrow? I’m too drunk to think about this right now.”

Simon giggled.

Cute.

What? No.

“Okay. Yeah. Let’s do that.”

Wilhelm stepped back, finally letting Simon in.
It was still Simon’s dorm too — but it didn’t feel right to be here, not now.

It was dark inside. The only light came from the laptop screen still glowing on the bed — some playlist forgotten and looping quietly.

The air felt heavy. Like it hadn’t moved in hours.

Simon sat on the edge of the bed, hands clasped between his knees, eyes flicking around like he didn’t know where to settle.

Wilhelm stayed by the door, watching him.

“You’re really drunk,” Wilhelm said after a moment — not unkindly.

Simon nodded, letting out a small, dry laugh. “Yeah. I thought it’d help. Didn’t.”

“No. It usually doesn’t.”

Silence again. Not angry, just tired.

Wilhelm leaned against the wall, folding his arms. “You want water or something?”

Simon looked up at him, eyes soft. “You don’t have to—”

“I know I don’t,” Wilhelm said.
But he went to the kitchenette anyway, grabbed a bottle from the fridge, and handed it over.

Their fingers brushed.
Stupid, how much that still meant.

Simon took the water. “Thanks.”

Wilhelm nodded. “So we’re not talking about it?”

“Not tonight,” Simon said, shaking his head. “I’d just say something dumb again.”

Wilhelm raised an eyebrow. “Like ‘you’re being stupid’ dumb, or...?”

Simon winced. “Yeah. Like that.”

Wilhelm sank down onto the floor, back against the wall, knees drawn up. “Okay. Tomorrow, then.”

Simon lay back on the bed, arm thrown over his face. “Tomorrow.”

A pause.

“Will you still be here?” Simon asked, voice muffled.

Wilhelm didn’t answer right away.

Then: “Yeah. I’ll be here.”

Simon smiled, eyes closed now. “Okay. Good.”

The music looped on. Something soft. Piano-heavy.

Wilhelm closed his eyes too.

Just for tonight, that was enough.

Chapter Text

Hii I know this is not a chapter but I need ideas, I also know that it’s early in this fic but I’m not the best at writing so I need help.

If you have any suggestions for the things that could happen please leave a comment, it means the world to me that you guys want to read this so it would be really great if you could help me.

It can be a scene you want now in this fic or a scene for later or maybe just a small idea or even a long thing I could work on!!!

I will also try to write a long chapter next time but as I said I’m not good at writing so it takes some time.

Thank you for understanding, love you guys sooooo muchh!!!!