Chapter Text
The classroom was a mess, but the cool kind of mess, where everyone knew how to coordinate with their group and where every item had its place. The left paper craft on the floor, the pile of cardboard in every corner and the full boxes of felts or scissors formed a pleasant ocean of chaos. It looked like a paradise of inspiration for the artists.
“Hiiragi! Where do I put this again?”
“Is that for the play? Give them to Hibiki from next class, he’s in charge of it. Oh, and, Kana-chan, don’t use the black paint on this one, it’ll look too sad!”
Hiiragi felt at the right place. Leading, moving around, using his creativity and telling people what to do, was refreshing. Hands on his hips with determination, he smiled proudly at the other students working hard to make this banner look great. At first, he hadn’t volunteered to be in charge of his class’s board game event for the cultural festival. He was too busy with his band to give much energy in this organisation. However, when his classmates nearly begged him to take the role, praising him by telling how good of a manager he would do, how indispensable his artistic vision would be – in short, inflating his ego - Hiiragi ended up thinking he had no reason to refuse. Being too busy was never too inconvenient, anyway.
When he heard his name being called, he turned around to greet a classmate with his usual bright smile, for whoever needed him.
“Hey, Aya-chan! You in trouble? Aren’t you in the sports committee?”
“I am,” she sighed, defeated. “The manager of the handball team said they don’t have enough players for their next match, the day after the festival.”
“They have a game right after the festival?!”
“Yeah, that’s the issue. Everyone’s already busy with their own class so a few members of the club withdrew from the team temporarily. And I get that, it must be tiring, but… I don’t know what to do. It’s no time to hire people!”
Handball team? Members needed? Pretty girl asking? It didn’t take more than two seconds for Hiiragi to come up with an answer. Without blinking, he chuckled.
“Shizu will help you!”
“Shizusumi-kun? Really?”
Aya frowned a bit. She wasn’t one of the people that had the chance to hear his voice, and all she knew was that he was stuck with Hiiragi all the time. She still wondered how two polar opposites like them could get along so well.
“Yeah, really!” Hiiragi added, leaning a bit closer to convince her. “He used to be in the handball club. He was pretty good, I’m sure he’d be glad to be back on the court!”
Aya held her clipboard a bit tighter, playing with her pen nervously. Hiiragi was always like this ; you had any issue and he found a miraculous solution. Not always the most ethical or reasonable one, but he always had a quick genius answer to give.
“Just write his name, that’ll make you one less player to find in this tide of nervous people.”
“Well, let me know after you asked him, and I’ll…”
“Don’t worry, Aya-chan, I know him! Trust me, he’ll be more than pleased. Let’s not waste time with this, we all have a lot on our plates, don’t we?”
Aya felt a bit dazzled by his charming expression. When Hiiragi gave her teasing eyes, her heart did a flip, her cheeks got warmer, and one sigh later, she was giving in. That was hard not to be persuaded with Hiiragi’s perfect words at the right time.
Hiiragi loved this warmth in his heart, and these self-compliments in his mind too. He had just helped someone, and gave his boyfriend the opportunity to play again in a club he used to love. He couldn’t feel better, it was his day more than anyone’s.
He went back to his activities, yelling at people here and there, distracting some when they had to unwind, and providing all his classmates with the motivation to give their maximum to their role.
The afternoon faded quickly, everyone was congratulating each other for the hard work they had put into this. Making the festival a success wasn’t an option and Hiiragi had repeated enough how he wanted to win the prize of the best class event. There was no way he’d accept to lose a competition where he was the leader of a group. He was bickering with a bunch of classmates when he noticed his boyfriend at the door of the classroom. He didn’t bother to find an excuse to leave them ; when his cocky smile turned softer, they all knew it had something to do with Shizusumi. In a few strides, he escaped the room and faced his boyfriend waiting outside.
“Hi! Are you done?”
Shizusumi leaned against the wall sideways, visibly tired of all the socialising of the day – and it was only a foretaste of tomorrow’s festival that would definitely exhaust him.
“Hm. Everyone is packing up. And you?”
“Yeah, I think I finished the most important part. Let’s walk home together!”
Shizu nodded, then waited for Hiiragi to pack his bag, while he was throwing a few more jokes through the classroom. Some would make him more loveable, others would make people sigh, but it didn’t matter, he was already forgetting what he said. Hiiragi quickly joined his boyfriend to get out of the school and get back to his calmer self.
The sunbeams displayed on the road were blinding them on the way, the cars filled the silence when needed and their shoulders bumped now and then. Hanging out with Shizusumi had always been grounding Hiiragi. He loved getting attention and create a fuss around him, only because he knew he could rest and complain if needed once he’d be alone with his boyfriend.
“Man, I can’t wait to be tomorrow. You realise? The school’s finally letting us play!” Hiiragi exclaimed.
“I guess it’s gonna help us being acknowledged.”
“Exactly! And the music club said they could never do it without us. Isn’t that adorable?”
Shizusumi quirked a brow, not sure how to take this line. He knew for sure that the music club had mostly lazy members who had taken advantage of Hiiragi’s eagerness for popularity to make him play more than them. Yet, he said nothing, and Hiiragi laughed at his reaction.
“I mean, we’re gonna be primordial there. It’s fun to have the spotlight.”
“But they still would have done it without us.”
“They would have, but we’re gonna make this performance twice better,” Hiiragi insisted.
“I heard they made it a success all previous years. We’re just a plus this time.”
Hiiragi crossed his arms as to affirm his position. He couldn’t help but hate when he had to repeat himself especially after being disagreed with.
“We’re not just a plus, we—argh! You get what I mean. The guys of the music club ain’t even composing their own songs, and their panel of genres isn’t as broad as ours.”
“Since when do you need their validation so bad?”
Hiiragi opened his mouth to answer as hastily as usual, before shutting it in a pout. As soon as he spotted the hint of smirk on Shizusumi’s deadpan expression, he rolled his eyes. Despite knowing him since forever, that was hard not to fall into his teasing.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Just asking,” Shizu shrugged, perfectly aware of his own mockery. “Your excitement’s cute, though.”
Hiiragi shoved him in a grunt, trying to dismiss the blush creeping on his cheeks, but it was already too late. The panel Shizusumi had tried to draw already took shape. Even after they had shared so much memories together, Shizusumi was still fascinated by Hiiragi’s reactions. The most mundane words could make him go into an infinite rambling or into a serious pout. And sometimes, instead of getting mad, he would avert his eyes and mumble inaudible answers. Like just now. But Shizusumi was just constantly testing the waters, because he never knew which one he should expect. That made all the fun.
“Let’s stop by here,” Shizusumi proposed, pointing with his chin at the konbini across the street.
Hiiragi sighed, taking this opportunity of Shizu’s attention being away to find composure again. These sneaky attacks never ceased to catch him off guard.
They wandered a bit through the store they always came to, then made it to the cashier with packets of crisps in their hands – and a few more unnecessary packs of Pocky and sweets for Shizusumi. When they handed their money, Hiiragi’s gaze landed on the counter and lit up. He elbowed his boyfriend at least three times, sharing his sudden nostalgia with a grin.
“Shizu, look! Doesn’t that remind you something?”
The several tiny Pikachu plushies were staring at Shizusumi from their shelf before the glass.
“Isn’t that the thing you cried over for 2 weeks when your mom confiscated it because you started a war at school?”
Hiiragi gasped in offence and came up with a bunch of excuses, all more absurd than the other ones. His mom had taken it to wash it, not to confiscate it; he had complained, not cried; he had used self-defence against a bully, not started a war. These silly nuances almost made Shizu chuckle, if only he weren’t thinking about getting new matching plushies. Would Hiiragi be up for it?
About ten years ago, they had made a new famous collection that was trending in the schoolyards, and back then, Hiiragi already needed to stay up to date. The kids were yelling at each other all day to know which one’s Pikachu was the most original, using petty arguments like the size of his tail or the brightness of his fur, when the plushies were just all the same. The day Hiiragi had brought his first plushie proudly at school, he had also bought one for Shizusumi. Between a banter with Yuki and a fist fight with Mafuyu, Hiiragi had gifted him a Pikachu plushie matching with his like this was the most natural thing to do.
Of course, Shizusumi remembered.
Before he could choose whether to ask or not, they were already headed to the exit, with Hiiragi who had changed the topic to the school festival again. While walking backwards with confidence, Hiiragi was convincing his boyfriend that his class would host the best event and collect the most money – even though Shizusumi didn’t doubt it either.
“And you? Is your haunted house ready?” He asked, dodging a post behind him with agility.
“Almost. They insisted that I play the vampire… That’s a pain,” Shizu sighed.
This simple sigh made Hiiragi’s eyes flicker with excitement. He swallowed his overjoy, but couldn’t hide his smile after hearing that his boyfriend would be cosplaying for the festival.
“A pain? Come on, that’s so cool! And that’ll suit you so bad!”
“Don’t be so happy about it.”
“I’m normal, I swear.”
As they exchanged a challenging glance, Shizusumi’s eyes narrowed to read through his boyfriend’s lie, while the latter was trying hard not to laugh; so hard that he ended up bumping into a passerby. He apologised briefly and finally turned around to walk beside Shizu. He was stealing some of his boyfriend’s crisps before thinking about it, and suddenly chuckled at how cheesy his own words would sound.
“Okay, maybe, I kind of like the idea. But look, you’re doing great at cosplay. Remember yourself as a girl last year? Better than your regular uniform.”
“I had pigtails.”
“Adorable pigtails!” Hiiragi rectified. “Have you seen yourself in a mirror?”
“You looked hotter.”
“No, you did! You wore the bow tie so well! And next time, you should try… Uh?”
Shizusumi was walking so casually with his hand going from the packet of crisps to his mouth and his eyes fixed on the road in front of him, that Hiiragi almost hadn’t heard him right. Hiiragi did pay attention, sometimes, but he was also slow to catch up on the other party’s words in flurried talks. Not only he rewound his boyfriend’s compliment in mind, that sounded twice more sincere than what other people always told him, but also he tried to remember the track of his sentence after this new attack.
“Cat got your tongue?” Shizu asked in an obvious condescendence.
Losing at a teasing conversation with his lover wasn’t planned for Hiiragi at all. Losing in short was never part of his vocabulary in the first place. He leaned in a bit closer to Shizu, unable to accept that the stray remark made his heart dance inside, and took a louder and bossier tone, hoping it would be enough to compete.
“Never! But you know what you looked the hottest into?”
“What?”
Hiiragi confused the argument and the flirt. He was lost in Shizusumi’s dark and inexpressive eyes as much as he would quickly glance at his savoury lips from time to time. He gulped and tried to sound convincing to make his boyfriend understand that he was right – just like most of time.
“Your handball jersey. That, that fit you perfectly, Shizu.”
Certainly, it didn’t come off as confident as Hiiragi had wanted it to, and the obvious pick-up line gave him some second hand embarrassment. But Shizu was so surprised that he brought back his past in the club that he didn’t mind the teasing competition anymore. He also had this image of himself back on the court, moving and sweating for something completely different than from playing the drums, but still aiming for a prize and acknowledgement. He admitted his defeat silently, even though he didn’t understand the sudden reminder.
“Ha!” Hiiragi chuckled, stealing the last handful of crisps in the packet – that left Shizu vexed. “See? I’m right. Everyone knows you were thriving on the court, that almost made me jealous actually, and—Oh! That reminds me! You’re going to play a game after the festival!”
The information didn’t reach Shizusumi’s brain quite immediately. He frowned a bit. Maybe, Hiiragi had spoken too fast, combined with his changes of voice and his agitation. It wasn’t always easy to follow up.
“What do you mean?”
“You remember Aya-chan, right? She said she needed some help with the handball club because of some useless jocks. Then, I told her to put your name on her list so she could refill the team.”
Shizusumi slowed down his pace, after wiping the last grains of salt on his teeth, and stared at the floor for a few seconds.
“So, you signed me up? Without asking me before?”
He never meant to sound harsh or cold, it just came out this way whenever he spoke out. And as always, he only had to pray internally for Hiiragi to get what he really wanted to say. Thanks to a gaze or unsaid syllables, the message would always end up coming through. It would, right?
“Huh? Yeah, I did? I mean, you’re definitely more competent than those guys who can’t commit to their team full time, don’t you agree?”
“Hey, that’s not the point.”
“What? What is, then? I can’t wait to see you play again!”
Shizusumi clicked his tongue, and crushed the packet of crisps in his hand to hold back. He liked playing handball as a hobby back when he was part of the club. But this fun had nothing to do with how good it was to make music with his lover. Not to mention, Shizusumi felt overwhelmed by the excess of socialising he had to go through because of the festival. He was still finishing this stupid vampire costume, adjusting his part in the song they had to play at school, remembering every task he had to do because of people that he said ‘yes’ to without thinking, only to avoid arguing. Since he had always been by his side and had seen every aspect of him, Shizusumi thought that Hiiragi would have understood all this through a single tired gaze. That would have been so much easier than to risk a disagreement.
Without avoiding the golden gaze next to him, he started again, using another approach.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“Why would I have?” Hiiragi snorted, unsure how to react. “You liked being part of the club, and Aya-chan needed help with it. That was the best solution. Wasn’t it?”
“It wasn’t.”
Too quick. Too real. Too vulnerable. Shizusumi didn’t mean to sound all of this either.
Hiiragi’s smile faltered quickly, he was analysing his boyfriend’s expression like a detective trying to depict the truth with only a piece of information in front of him. They had slowed down to end up standing still in front of each other. The new staring competition was both natural and strange for each other – and definitely uneasy compared to the flirty glances they had exchanged until then.
“Why, though?! You were good and you’re still fit. You can totally do that,” Hiiragi called out.
“I told you that’s not the point. I’ve got a lot to-“
“But you’ve always told me the members of the club liked you! That’s the occasion to catch up with them!”
When he heard that, Shizusumi couldn’t help a bitter snicker. His teammates weren’t too bad, but much more idiot than the kind of people he could hope for as friends. He watched Hiiragi’s stiff and affirmative figure again ; really, Shizusumi didn’t want to start a fight now. Why did Hiiragi have to think he knew better all the time? That was tiring.
“Who told you I wanted to catch up with them?”
“You’re the one who told me this was fun!”
“You interpreted it.”
“Sorry? Are you gaslighting me now or what? If the club needs someone now, that’s you! Why won’t you listen to me?”
Loud words, big gestures, persuasive expressions and a confident tone… This worked all the time for Hiiragi. He only had to pull out this magical formula when he desired to be heard and listened to. No one ever escaped the mesmerising power of his eloquence; neither did Shizusumi. And yet, he wanted to try for once.
“You can’t decide this on your own.”
“Why not?!”
Because you can’t always choose for me.
Shizusumi pursed his lips instead of answering. This sounded so absurd he didn’t want to go further into this conversation. He took a step back, ran a hand through his hair, his traits appearing tougher, his heart veiled in a dark curtain.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me… Never mind, I’m off.”
“Huh?”
Shizusumi didn’t wait a minute more to turn his back and go home by his own. His strides fast, and his hands balancing his walk, Hiiragi only had time to breathe before noticing his boyfriend was left without an explanation. He called him back, with a frustrated yelling but no success, then he replayed the conversation in his head. He didn’t get how it had escalated from a flirty banter to this cold misunderstanding.
Hiiragi hadn’t paid attention quickly enough, this time.