Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sometimes things changed, but this wasn't a change Athena Grant was ready for. A family is what the 118 was, what it always had been since Bobby had become captain. A family was what Bobby and Athena were, the rings on their fingers proved that to the world as much as their love proved it to each other. Love was something a family had, but another was honesty. Having each other's backs. Trusting each other to make the right decisions, even in a bad situation. Family had understanding, so why did Bobby leave everyone in the dark? It was something Athena couldn't understand.

Walking up to their unfinished house, she could see it all so clearly. Their past, present, and what they hoped to be the future was all there, on that property. Where Bobby met her kids, where he proposed, the years they spent living their in holy matrimony. This house they were building represented their love. It too was formed over the ashes of loss, like their relationship. Like a phoenix, rising from the flames to come back fresh and full of life.

Athena walked around, looking around the area. Just hours ago, they were rebuilding that life. Even though she knew, deep down, that her husband had done the right thing, Athena couldn't believe it. That he was gone. That he didn't tell her- didn't trust her enough to make the decision to let him go. As filled as she was with sorrow, loneliness, and heartache, she was filled with anger. He left her. Even of he didn't WANT to, he did. Bobby made the choice without telling her. What happened to for better or worse, in sickness and in health?

Athena looked at the small table with the map of the house laid out. She was here with him this morning, with May and Harry. It felt like another world. Taking a deep breath and putting her hand on the edge of the table, she shook her head. "Why?"

After a few seconds of stillness, a familiar voice answered her. "Because it was the right thing to do." Everything was silent, the tension so thick that not even Eddie's ass could compare (well, that's what Buck would say, at least.)

Athena turned around, looking at the doorway. There was Bobby. He was still in his turnout's, still dirty. "How...""I died." Bobby said simply, giving Athena a small smile. "God grants gifts in mysterious ways."

"So you're here?"

"Only part time."

Athena scoffed, "What, so you're a... roaming soul?"

"A ghost is the actual term." Bobby corrects, "Because I've got unfinished business."

Athena crosses her arms, "And you decided to roam over here, huh? To... what? Apologize?"

"And here I thought you'd be happy to see me..." Bobby gestures into the room, "May I?"

"Not like I can stop you, Mr. Poltergeist." Athena said flatly. Sure, she was happy to see him, but him being a ghost also pissed her off even more.

"Look, Athena..." Bobby took a few steps forward, "I didn't want to leave you. You know that, right?"

"You made that clear. Doesn't change that you still did- without forewarning me."

"If I told you, you would've tried to find a way to save me-""Of course, I would!" Athena snapped, "You're my husband, and I loved you. If you actually let us try, maybe we could've done something!"

Bobby sighed, "We didn't have time, 'thena."

"How do you know that!?" Athena retorted quickly, narrowing her eyes at her undead husband. For all she knew, this was some weir dream. Deep down, she prayed that's what this was. A nightmare. A sick, twisted game that her mind was playing by pulling the horrors from her soul. "You didn't even give us a chance to try, Bobby! You- you didn't give me a chance to even give you a proper goodbye! And now you're leaving me alone."

The room once again goes silent. Bobby looks at the ground, then muttered, "You're right. And I'm sorry."

"As the saying goes, sorry doesn't cut it." Athena jeered. "I mean, I get what you were doing, and I admire it. But that doesn't make me any less pissed at you."

"As expected." Bobby put his hands up, "But I'm still here."

"Yeah," Athena scoffed, "As a hallucination."

"Not quite, but even if I were, can't I at least be here to help you heal? And give you that time that you wanted." Bobby suggested, putting a hand out to his widowed wife.

Athena huffed, but reluctantly took Bobby's hand. It had a weird sensation, like it'd been wrapped in cobwebs and chilled, but it was him in every aspect. "You're lucky I love you, even if I'm losing it."

"Well, good thing to know that whatever you're losing, it's not me. Right?" Bobby smiled."If there's anything we should lose, it's this outfit." Athena looks Bobby up and down, scanning his turnouts. "I'm not going to catch super Ebola, am I?"

Bobby laughs, shaking his head. "Nah, I can't have germs. Benefit of being dead."

"Is another benefit the ability to change your wardrobe and wash your face? Because this..." Athena gestures to Bobby dramatically, shaking her head. "It isn't it."

"If that's really your concern, I'll take it up with the big man." Bobby jokes, the small smile on his face growing into a grin.

Maybe Athena could adjust to this change after all.

Chapter Text

The last thing Athena expected was to wake up to the smell of waffles. Getting out of bed and walking into the kitchen, she saw Bobby standing there, putting blueberries into a small bowl while humming to himself. "So... what are the rules of physics when you're dead?" Athena asks, leaning against the counter.

"I'm not sure, but apparently I can interact with the mortal world." Bobby says simply, opening the refrigerator and putting the blueberries away.

"And so you're making waffles?"

"Comfort waffles." Bobby corrects as he grabs the strawberries. "Because you need comfort."

"Do I?" Athena raises an eyebrow, "Why? Because you're dead?"

"Because you're angry, and it's not fun to be around an angry Athena." Bobby grabs a knife, beginning to cut the strawberries.

Athena sighs, shaking her head. "None of this makes any sense."

"I know." Bobby agrees.

"Seriously." Athena crosses her arms, "How is any of this happening? You died yesterday and here you are, in our kitchen, making waffles."

Bobby looks up at her, face flat. "Comfort waffles."

"Fine. Comfort waffles." Athena rolls her eyes, "Same difference.:

Bobby rolls his eyes. "They're not. These have a-"

"-secret ingredient." Athena cuts him off, "You've said that before, last time you made them. You just never explain what it is. Anyways, waffles aside, how does this work?"

"Don't ask me." Bobby puts the knife down, putting the strawberry pieces into another small bowl. "I just know I can go back and forth because of unfinished business."

"Right." Athena mutters, watching Bobby open the waffle machine and add it to the pile. "And that unfinished business is with just me?"

"You're the only one I've been sent to." Bobby shrugs, then turns off the waffle maker. "Although it's only been 12 hours..."

"Planning on haunting anyone else?" Athena takes a blueberry out of the small bowl, popping it into her mouth.

"As soon as I figure out how to, I'll haunt everybody." Bobby jokes, picking up both the small bowls, walking over and sitting them on the table.

Athena smirks, following him to the table. "Everybody?"

"Everyone I know. Or knew, I guess" Bobby pulls out a chair for Athena to sit in. "And I'll start with your mother."

Athena laughs, sitting in the chair. "Be careful, don't give her a heart attack."

"A heart attack?" Bobby crosses his arms. "Beatrice Carter having a heart attack? I'm not sure anything could scare that woman that much, unless, of course, it were losing you."

"Well, have fun haunting her." Athena shrugs, "Good luck getting her to believe it, though."

Bobby walks over and grabs the plate of waffles, along with a fork and knife. "The next person I want to learn to haunt is Buck. I kinda dropped that bombshell of loving him and told him the others would need him."

"Which was a very bad move." Athena adds as she watched Bobby sit down the plate of waffles. "You know how he is."

"I do." Bobby nods, "He'll probably hold it all in and not let himself grieve until the rest of you finish..."

Athena and Bobby just stare at each other for a moment before Athena sighs. "Maybe he won't have to. You're here, after all."

"That I am." Bobby smiles softly, "And I don't plan on going anywhere. Like I said, I didn't want to leave you."

Athena smiles back, though hers is sadder than Bobby's. "I don't think I'd ever been that scared in my life..."

"Don't worry about it." Bobby reassures her, putting a hand on Athena's shoulder. "I'm never leaving you again. Not forever. No matter what, I'll find a way to come back."

"You better. You owe me after all that."

"You know what else I owe you?" Bobby smirks.

Athena tilts her head, "What's that?"

Bobby grins, "Whipped cream."

"Whipped cream." Athena repeats, then furrows her eyebrows. "Didn't we run out?"

"You did, yes." Bobby says simply. "But luckily, you have me. And I do not conform to the limits of the living." He walks over to the counter, picking up a new can of Reddi Whip.

Athena snorts, "What, did you Magic it here?"

"Magic it here?" Bobby laughs. "No, I just walked to the store down the street at four in the morning so it would be here for you no matter what time you woke up."

"Which humans can't do, I suppose?" Athena inquires as Bobby walks back over and opens the spray can.

"I couldn't before I died. I just would've looked at you like you were crazy." Bobby jokes, spraying some of the whipped cream on Athena's waffles.

"Thank you." Athena smiles as Bobby sits in the seat next to her. "So, no waffles for you?"

"I don't know if I can have any, being the undead and all." Bobby replies.

Athena picks up the small bowl of blueberries, putting some on her waffle before holding the bowl out to Bobby. "Might as well try it."

Bobby shakes his head, smiling and grabbing one of the blueberries. He puts it in his mouth, chews, swallows, then grins. "Well, it looks like I can."

Athena grins back, then starts, "Blueberries and waffles-"

"Comfort Waffles." Bobby interjects

"Blueberries and COMFORT waffles," Athena corrects herself, an amused look on her face, "are forever. Now, come on. Get a plate."

Bobby stands up, shaking his head and getting a plate from the cabinet. He sits the plate down and retakes his seat as Athena puts one of her waffles on the plate. "This is why we always make two, I suppose."

"You suppose?" Athena echos, putting some whipped cream on his waffle.

Bobby nods, "Why else?"

"Double the waffle, double the comfort?" Athena suggests, adjusting the bowls for berries to be between them.

"I like the sound of that." Bobby agrees, putting some blueberries onto his waffle.

Just then, the door opens. Athena turns to look around and sees May, who is poking her head through the door. May smiles. "You're up!" She opens the door, coming the rest of the way in with Harry following her and shutting it.

"How are you holding up?" Harry asks, walking over to the table. He stops when he sees the second plate, glancing at May.

May furrows her eyebrows, "Already have a visitor...?"

Athena turns back around, seeing the chair now empty. "Oh, um... force of habit."

Harry puts his hand on Athena's shoulder, "It's alright, Mom. You've got us, and we can get through this."

"Together." May adds with a quick nod.

Athena put her hand on Harry's, "That we will. Come here," She smiles, opening her arms. As she hugs both her children, she looks at the empty seat where Bobby was just sitting. Or so she thought. Was he ever actually there, or was her grief messing with her mind? Maybe she made it all up? She thought about this as May and Harry sat down, her mind wandering. What's going on here? But as they all ate their breakfast, one thing was clear. These were comfort waffles, secret ingredient and all.

Bobby was- is?- the only one who knows that ingredient, so only he could've made these.

Chapter Text

Keep it together, Buck kept telling himself. He'd lost it in the hallway of the lab, but he'd be strong from here on out. He'd be the support people needed. He'd keep the pain in, hidden below the surface. Like an onion. The outside layer is strong. Don't let it break, or you'll make people cry.

The day after Bobby's death, he'd stayed in bed until almost 3PM. Then his phone rang. The familiar tune of How Do I Deal filled the room. Maddie loved that song since it was released, it was her one of her favorites as a teenager. Every time Buck heard it, he thought of his sister listening to it when he was little. The happy childhood memories. No matter how few they were, he'd cherish them.

Buck sits up, grabbing his phone and swiping the green circle on the screen. He presses the cold glass to his ear. "Yeah?"

"Hey." Maddie says simply, voice soft.

Buck sighs, "Hey." The pair sits in silence for a few seconds before Buck finds his voice again. "How's Chim?"

"Physically, he's doing better."

"And not physically?" Buck asks.

Maddie hesitates, "It's.... it's hitting him hard. I mean- rightfully so. It's..." She trails off. What should she say there? Tragic? Disappointing? Heartbreaking?

"Yea." Buck agrees simply to the non existent description, "It is."

Maddie sighs, "How are you doing?"

"Fine." Buck says quickly.

"Evan..." Maddie whispers, voice soft. Caring. She only called him Evan in particular moments. Moments hard to describe, but they typically heartbreak or hurt. "I'm here for you. You know that?"

"Yea, Mads." Buck whispers back, "I know."

"Alright. Look, I'm picking up Jee now, but if you need anything at all, you call me. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll talk to you soon, Maddie."

"Alright." Maddie responds. "I love you, Buck."

"I love you too. And Jee, and Chim. Tell them that for me, yeah?"

"I will." Maddie let's out a quick laugh. The only question was if it was genuine or an act to make Buck feel better. You never knew with Maddie- the curse of the oldest child in a broken home, Athena had called it once. The ability to mask emotion and be doing just fine, to be the others' rock.

Buck wouldn't let that happen this time. It's his turn to be strong for everyone else. Keep it together. With that thought in mind as he put his phone down swung his legs over his bed and stood up.

People need support, and he could at least do something. Like bake something for the others. They'd need an appetite.

Buck heads to the kitchen, stopping in the doorway. This used to be Eddie's kitchen. Had anyone told Eddie? And Christopher? Buck makes a 180, heading to grab his phone. He quickly goes to Eddie's contact, selecting FaceTime.

One ring. That's all it took for Eddie's face to appear. Buck takes a quick breath, "Hi."

"I'm sorry," are the first words to leave Eddie's mouth.

"Sorry?" Buck furrows his eyebrows, "For what?"

Eddie sighs, rubbing his forehead. "Not being there."

"Hey. It's not your fault, there's no way we could've known."

"But maybe it could've been different.."

Buck goes quiet. He kept thinking the same thing, over and over. He scans the area in Eddie's background. "Are you working? I didn't mean to call you at-"

"I'm driving to the airport," Eddie cuts him off. "You all need me there. I need to be there."

"Right," Buck nods quickly. "And Christopher?"

"He's here." Eddie turns the phone, showing his son sitting in the front seat. Christopher's eyes stay glued out the window, his face flat. At only 7, he'd lost too much. From that day on, Christopher was different. Now, at 14, he knew how to avoid his pain. Or try to the best a 14-year-old could.

Yet another person who'd become too strong too young.

"Hey, Chris..." Buck starts softly. He gets no response.

Eddie turns the phone back, looking at the road. "He says he doesn't wanna talk about it."

"Right." Buck nods, watching Eddie turn his car through the screen.

"We just got to the airport," Eddie glances at his phone. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon." Buck repeats. With that, the call ends. Keep it together, he reminds himself as he slips his phone into his pocket. He heads back into the kitchen and begins to bake. 10 minutes later, Buck opens his fridge. He needs eggs. Where are his eggs?

"They're on the counter already." A familiar voice says, answering his thoughts. Buck freezes, then slowly turns. There's Robert Nash, standing as though alive. But that's impossible. It must be a dream. None the less, Bobby gives Buck a small smile. "Hey, kid..."

"How...?" Buck takes a step towards his former captain, head slightly tilted.

"It's complicated." Bobby answers simply. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said. I shouldn't have put that burden on you and... you didn't deserve that."

Buck just stares at Bobby. Tears fill his eyes, threatening to spill over. Keep it together, he reminds himself, biting the inside of his cheek. But he can't. Bobby's cold arms wrap around him as sighs, burying his head into the dead man's shoulder.

"I meant part of it, though." Bobby says softly, holding Buck close. "I really do love you, and I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner."

Buck sniffles, voice breaking, "I love you too."