Chapter Text
Luo Binghe waits patiently on a bench outside. People have been shooting him strange looks as they walk past ever since he got here. Granted, it’s out of the ordinary to see Luo Binghe not attached to Shen Qingqiu. A Luo Binghe without his shizun is as rare as an everbright carp without its whiskers: entirely unheard of. People are even more perturbed by it given the fact that he is not sitting outside Qing Jing Peak. Instead, he sits outside the halls of Qian Cao Peak in the small garden opposite the sect’s medical ward, basking in the warming sun.
He could do this in the demon realm, but even the most educated demons are lacking in their understandings of certain biologies. Despite his heavenly demon blood, his human aspects befuddle their sages and healers far more than the demonic elements of his being confuses humans. They ask far too many questions that he has no answer for, going so far as to kidnap human healers to aid their king. For a matter as delicate as this, he would rather be certain that it will take in a single attempt to avoid any accidents. Both components were hard to get without too many questions.
Two young disciples exit the building and catch sight of him, stopping in their tracks. Although they whisper, Luo Binghe can clearly hear their whispers.
“Why is he here?”
“I don’t know! Is Peak Lord Shen inside?”
“I didn’t see him there and I just finished a rotation.”
They shoot Luo Binghe another strange look as they hurry past. Luo Binghe just smiles and waves, making them scurry faster. He normally would feel bad about how so many on the mountain avoid him when he was once so close with so many, but today it doesn’t matter. Today there are more important matters like the two ceramic pots held in his hands.
Following behind the two is the person he’s been waiting for: Mu Qingfang. He walks outside and stops in the sun, staring up into the sky. He looks tired and overworked, yet still extraordinarily elegant. He looks as a peak lord should, even if he’s nowhere near as beautiful as Shizun. His fingers aren’t as delicate, his hair not as soft, his eyes duller and face rounder. Downright ugly compared to Luo Binghe’s husband.
Mu Qingfang pulls a small booklet from his sleeve, flipping through it for a moment before shoving it back inside and walking away. Luo Binghe watches him go, departing down the steep stone path towards the bridges that separate the peaks. He watches until he becomes as small as a pin prick before jumping to his feet and hurrying inside.
“I need to see Mu Qingfang,” Luo Binghe says to the highest ranked disciple closest the door. Immediately he stiffens and looks around to his peers who have miraculously all vanished into the shadows.
“He- Shizun just left to meet with Sect Leader Yue. But if you want to wait I can–”
“No,” Luo Binghe says hiding his glee. This is exactly what he wanted to happen. “You’ll have to help me then.”
The disciple’s eyes go wide and he steps back away from Luo Binghe. “I- I wouldn’t dare. His majesty would get better care in his kingdom than in my hands.”
Luo Binghe clicks his tongue in disapproval. He knows he cuts an intimidating figure in the entryway. “It’s a matter of human biology and urgent. Come.”
The disciple has no choice but to follow Luo Binghe into the ward where Luo Binghe hands him the two ceramic pots explaining what they are and what they need to do to activate the most important part. Luo Binghe then departs to one of the patient rooms to get ready.
The poor head disciple stares at the two jars. His hands quiver in fear at the thought of what he's been told to do. He's utterly terrified of Luo Binghe and terrified of messing it up, and terrified of every aspect of the process.
In one ceramic jar is a thick fertility paste to be inserted into the recipient to allow him to grow a womb. In the other smaller jar is a…sample of Shen Qingqiu to inseminate him. How Luo Binghe got the sample doesn't matter. Clearly, the disciple thinks, if Luo Binghe has this sample then it must mean that the two have talked extensively about having a baby and somehow befuddlingly landed on Luo Binghe carrying it. That's as confusing as everything else to the poor young man. It seemed so obvious that the emperor's husband would.
Just as the disciple is resigning himself to his fate, his shimei approaches, saying, “You look worried, Song-shixiong. Is there something wrong?”
Without worrying about how much she will hate him for it later, he pushes the two jars and instructions into her hands and runs off, telling her to perform the procedure on Luo Binghe in the second clinical room while he goes to…do something. His lie is lost in how fast he gets the hell out of there.
She stares in horror at the two jars in her hands, not wanting to be the one to do that to the terrifying demon lord either. She doesn't even want to be in the same room as him. She certainly doesn't want to be alone with him caught between his legs. Just the thought sends a chill down her spine.
She spots the next poor disciple under her approaching, and in a spark of desperate cruelty tells him to perform the procedure on the patient in the second clinical room before she darts away.
The young man, eager to perform his duties and delighted to be given an entirely new task, reads through the instructions before entering the second clinical room and seeing Luo Binghe naked from the waist down. He chokes and backs out of the room with a rasped, “It'll be another minute.”
He just sees the disappointment on Luo Binghe's face at the wait before he shuts the door and stiffly marches away as fast as he can.
“Shidi, you look like you've seen a ghost,” one of his shijie says as he scurries down the hall towards the exit quickly.
“I- I don't know how to do my latest task.”
“Oh? I can help you figure it out.”
He shakes his head. “I don't want to do it at all.”
She looks down on him with pity. “If it's another flesh eating fungus you'll have to learn–”
“No. I stopped fainting when I see that,” he says with embarrassment. “It's just, it's it's the scary one showed up with this.” He shows her the two jars and crumpled instructions. She takes the paper and reads, her eyes growing wide.
“I really don't want to do it,” he says. He knows she can see how scared he is of Luo Binghe and plays it up until she takes the two jars, promising he doesn't need to do it. With that he runs away.
She takes the two jars with her, puffs herself up for what she's about to do, and enters the room of the scary one.
Liu Qingge has been waiting an unreasonable amount of time. He really should be at the Peak Lord meeting, but he just got back from another bout of travel and was struck by two problems that need to be dealt with right away. The first is a low grade papapa pollen that he could get rid of himself but is easier to be given an antidote to clear it from his system immediately. The second is more of a problem. He got sprayed by a maiden’s dream flower on his way back and is struggling to stay awake for bursts of more than an hour. Already he couldn't help falling asleep in the room he was told to wait in, and when the disciple who enters holding a tray walks in and greets him he jerks awake and answers coldly, merely saying, “Hurry up and get on with it. I have places to be,” shutting down her questions.
She mentally agrees that the dubbing the scary one indeed is the correct way to describe Liu Qingge as she tells him to place his legs wide and settles between his thighs, unlidding the first of the two jars.
“Does that hurt?” she asks after applying the first paste, she pressed a hand on his lower stomach where warmth emigrated from all the blood pooling there to grow a new organ in a matter of seconds.
“No,” Liu Qingge replies. He leans up, his face a little red. “Can I go now?”
“There's one more. This one just takes a moment.”
Liu Qingge lays back down and closes his eyes. Every few seconds his breathing hitches he shifts uncomfortable from what he can only assume is the pollen. After around twenty seconds he snaps his eyes open again. He snaps, “Are you going to do something about this or not?”
She hurries along with the rest of the insemination, not wanting to face the wrath of the terrifying man. As Liu Qingge dresses, she warns him he may feel some fatigue in the coming days and huffs. She also advises him to tell Shen Qingqiu about it, to which she gets a weird look as Liu Qingge grabs his sword and marches out.
Job successfully completed despite how scary Liu Qingge is, she gathers her materials and leaves the room brimming with pride in herself. Across the hall from Liu Qingge's room, the door opens and a head pops out. The disciple nearly drops her tray in terror.
Lou Binghe looks around with big eyes and upturned eyebrows in worry that could flicker to domineering anger in a second. He spots her holding the jars on a tray and with a large, clawed hand waves her over.
She's shaking in her approach.
“Those are mine,” he says. It might be a question or a statement. Either way, it makes her knees nearly buckle. She stumbles over her attempts to say anything as Luo Binghe withdraws into the room, beckoning her in too. He's done waiting.
She looks around the hall wishing anyone to show up and rescue her but no one does. Between the two terrifying patients, no one dares come near. Everyone else has heard of the two in opposite rooms and she was the only idiot not to have known. She swears that she's never helping anyone ever again as she closes the door behind her and pulls the stool over to where Luo Binghe lays.
She already used all of the ointment from the first jar. The instructions said the more is used the quicker the womb will grow and higher chances of success. Given Liu Qingge is so impatient, she of course used it all.
Hands shaking, she creates a subtle handseal to create water to apply to Luo Binghe. Like with Liu Qingge she places her hand on his lower stomach, but this time she circulates her energy so it feels warm to him. She holds her breath the whole time she works and he won't think she's faked the whole procedure having accidentally done it to the wrong scary man.
The moment she's done she flees the room. She flees the peak grabbing the first far away assignment she can on the board of missions. She's not coming back until at least a year has passed. All she can do is hope that Liu Qingge does not get pregnant since he rushed the procedure so much. And if he does, well, that's her shizun's problem for not banning Luo Binghe from the peak.
Shen Qingqiu leaves the Peak Lords meeting feeling bright. It’s been several weeks since he attended one of these meetings and he has rather missed the affairs of Cang Qiong Mountain. Luo Binghe has been insisting they travel more than usual recently. He can’t help but worry that something is on Binghe’s mind making him feel lonely or neglected to spark his want to travel so much just the two of them. He granted his husband the wish, indulging every desire his heart could settle on… except for a few. Only when certain his husband has been properly dotted on and received the correct number of headpats and had enough tears wiped from his cheeks and he himself had eaten an adequate amount of Luo Binghe’s delicious cooking while looking out at the beach landscape they established their replica bamboo house on, did he decide it was time to return home to check in.
Shen Qingqiu lingers after the Peak Lords meeting to talk with Mu Qingfang for a while. While traveling Shen Qingqiu caught and was subsequently bitten by a strange snake. Shen Qingqiu thought the bite was fine while Luo Binghe insisted on sultrily sucking the poison out of his shin before working his way higher and higher on his leg until he was sucking his dick. And then of course Binghe pointed out that the snake is the same shape as his heavenly pillar so of course they need to make sure there was no aphrodisiac poison in its venom and one thing lead to another with Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe having sex on the beach as waves crashed over them in what Shen Qingqiu could only describe as involving a highly unpleasant amount of sand but an adorably affectionate husband to make up for any chafing.
Mu Qingfang listens to the highly abridged version of the story with mild interest. He takes a long sip of a peach nectar that Liu Qingge’s disciple brought to the meeting as an apology that his shizun would be delayed. When he swallows he says, “There’s no reason why a snake would induce a frenzied state like that. Your husband doesn’t know a single thing about human nervous systems and barely understands spiritual energy. Even if there was something in the snake’s venom, it would be a small enough dosage that your spiritual energy would be able to clear it. It’s the plant pollen that you inhale that should always be a cause for alarm.”
Shen Qingqiu feels vindicated as he nods along agreeing with him. That’s what he told Binghe too, but Luo Binghe was so worried about him that he started sobbing on the beach while sucking his dick, and how could Shen Qingqiu ruin the beautiful sunset like that by letting Luo Binghe cry?
“Or spiders,” Mu Qingfang suddenly says after another sip. “Spiders can induce such states. And some frogs, if you lick them. And don’t forget about the horny newt. It likes dark, wet places including human–”
“I know about those,” Shen Qingqiu says eagerly, remembering a passage from the original novel. Mu Qingfang gives him an unimpressed look and says, “I don’t want to think about how many disciples of the mountain we’ve had to confiscate such newts from.”
Shen Qingqiu snaps his fan open to hide his embarrassment when he realizes what it sounds like he meant he's experienced them. He simply replies, “I’ve never encountered one personally. I just thought I should know what they are. Especially after…” After a recent serialization of Regret of Chunshan. He quickly changes the subject, asking, “How have things been on Qiong Cao Peak? The Immortal Alliance Conference is approaching again, isn’t it? Are any of your disciples entering?”
The two fall into easy conversation. Yue Qingyuan who has been finishing with his after meeting notes at the head of the table joins them as they discuss the upcoming conference. With it being only eight months away, it’s time to begin focusing on training disciples for it.
Yue Qingyuan ends up walking Shen Qingqiu back to Qing Jing Peak. Shen Qingqiu is about to invite him to stay for tea when he sees Luo Binghe standing in the distance by the pond entirely alone. He’s been patient not getting into any fights while Shen Qingqiu attended the peak lords meeting, and will have to be patient again this evening when Shen Qingqiu meets with disciples for small group lessons. He should give him the afternoon. He closes his conversation with the sect leader by promising to stay a few weeks before he and Binghe depart again.
Luo Binghe stands alone at the edge of the water caught in a staring contest with a giant frog half out of the water when Shen Qingqiu approaches. He hears his husband but doesn't turn around. Instead, he waits for Shen Qingqiu to summon him. It's cute how he does this. He often finds Shen Qingqiu in dreams and lurks at the edges until he's called out into the open. There he bounds forward to tackle his poor old husband in his arms and pepper him with messy kisses.
“Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu calls. Just like he expects, Luo Binghe abandons his staring contest to run to his husband. Shen Qingqiu just manages to snap his fan open before Luo Binghe covers him in kisses. He lowers it just enough to plant one on Binghe's lips. Any more can wait until they're in the privacy of the bamboo house.
“What did you do today?” Shen Qingqiu says, taking Luo Binghe's hand to make double sure he didn't stumble into a fistfight with someone from Bai Zhan Peak. His hands are smooth and unbloodied. He was a good boy today, deserving of a head pat which Shen Qingqiu gives.
“This husband started baking something extra special for Shizun,” Luo Binge replies. He wraps his arms around Shen Qingqiu’s waist and rests his chin on his shoulder so they can look out at the calm dark water together.
“Mn,” Shen Qingqiu hums. “Is that what I smell?”
“No, that's something else I'm cooking for you,” Luo Binghe replies. “Liu-shishu brought back those blackened water chestnuts Shizun is partial to, so I'm making an entire meal to suit them.”
Shen Qingqiu’s mouth waters at the thought. He doesn't even need to know what specifically Luo Binghe is making.
“We should invite Liu-shidi to eat with us then.”
Luo Binghe's fingers tighten around his waist and replies with a terse, “No.”
Right. Binghe is still protective over his cooking and who gets to eat it. And rightfully so, anyone who eats it will certainly walk away stuffed full with a small food baby in their stomachs and utterly in love with the protagonist. Seeing as how Luo Binghe isn't getting anyone pregnant, food babies are as close as he'll get and not everyone will have said honor.
Shen Qingqiu drops his head so his cheek rests against Luo Binghe's temple. “He can dine with us another day.”
He can feel Luo Binghe's smile.
They stay out talking for only a little longer, long enough for shadow to cast over the giant frog and it to duck below the surface of the water. Shen Qingqiu can't help but feel like Luo Binghe has something on his mind while they talk, and he knows he does when he stumbles on the doorframe, tripping and almost falling flat on his face if Shen Qingqiu wasn't ready to catch him. He's only ever so clumsy when he has something serious on his mind.
He tries to cleverly pry thoughts or worries from his husband over dinner, but Luo Binghe is too focused on indulgently piling food onto Shen Qingqiu’s plate with the expectation of a kiss after each time he assists him.
After they're done eating, Shen Qingqiu sits expectantly waiting for dessert to be delivered before him. That has to be what the something special that Luo Binghe talked about baking. He almost has his hopes up that his husband stumbled on a tome with the recipe for cheesecake or some other modern delicacy that he hasn't tasted in years.
Luo Binghe doesn't deliver an extravagant cake to him. Instead, he pushes Shen Qingqiu’s thighs apart to stand between them, reaching out to place Shen Qingqiu’s delicate hand on his own stomach.
“Shizun,” Luo Binghe starts. His voice is lower and slower than usual, edging on sultry but not quite. “Husband…”
“Do you have a stomach ache?” Shen Qingqiu asks in concern, automatically starting to gently rub his stomach. Maybe this is why he isn't bringing out whatever he baked special for them to share tonight. “Go lay down and I can help massage it out.”
“I don't have a stomachache, but I do have something else in there.”
Shen Qingqiu nods knowingly. He must have picked up a parasite on that beach trip. “Have you talked to Mu Qingfang?”
Luo Binghe smiles down at him, showing off his sharp little fangies. “Not him, but one of his disciples.”
“What kind?” He asks. He keeps gently rubbing Binghe's stomach feeling sorry for the poor protagonist but thankful that for once it wasn't him who gets the short end of the stick.
“We won't know for a few months.”
“A few months!” Shen Qingqiu yelps. What the hell kind of parasite takes a few months to even know what it is. He jumps to his feet. “No. We're going back now.”
Luo Binghe wraps Shen Qingqiu in his arms. “I knew Shizun would be excited!”
“I'm not excited about you having a parasite, Binghe!”
Luo Binghe's eyes widen and fill with tears immediately. Shen Qingqiu is horrified. He's missing something, clearly, if Binghe is crying. He cups his face in his hands and wipes away his tears, comforting, “It's okay, Binghe. We'll get this parasite taken care of.”
It doesn't help. Luo Binghe's tears redouble. He's on the verge of ugly crying, which he's only fallen into twice before. Shen Qingqiu is actually starting to panic now.
“Does Shizun not love me anymore?”
“What? No! No no no Binghe. I love you of course I love you. No parasite could make me not love you!” He pulls his husband downwards to give him a kiss to quell his tears. “What's wrong? What happened? Why would you think I don't?”
Luo Binghe sniffles. “You said our baby was a parasite.”
Shen Qingqiu brushes back more shining tears. “I didn't– our what?”
“Our baby,” Binghe repeats. He nuzzles his head against Shen Qingqiu’s palm, the suspicious tears quickly drying.
Shen Qingqiu’s eyes widen in horror. The protagonist can't be pregnant so… “How- how did you put a baby in me, Binghe?”
“I didn't,” Lou Binghe says. He pulls Shen Qingqiu's hand back down to his own stomach. Relief and horror commingle in Shen Qingqiu’s brian. “Is Shizun mad?”
“I- No.” Shen Qingqiu assures seeing Binghe is already on the verge of tears again. He's just a little shocked at his husband suddenly being pregnant. That's all. Binghe is his little parasite and of course he couldn't be mad. He just didn't think Binghe wanted kids seeing as the original was never fond of them unless it served the plot. And he can't understand how it happened. He lightly taps Binghe on the forehead with his fan making him scrunch his face and subside his tears. And then He hits him on the forehead harder so that it makes a loud cracking noise and leaves a red mark.
“Is that why you wanted to have sex this morning despite almost breaking my hips last night?!”
The guilty look Luo Binghe gives is answer enough.
Well. At least he knows it'll be his.
Shen Qingqiu relays the whole story to Shang Qinghua over tea a week later, including the news that Luo Binghe is not pregnant. He seems to have bought a scam product that never worked at all. He saves that for the end though, enjoying the way Shang Qinghua's face twists in horror at the idea of a pregnant demon emperor.
“Why did you even put shit like that in your super straight stallion novel?” He asks exasperated.
“I dunno,” Shang Qinghua replies. “Maybe I knew deep down that one day Cucumber Bro would transmigrate into my super straight stallion novel and make it super not straight and would need it to get knocked up.”
Shen Qingqiu rolls his eyes and grumbles. Shang Qinghua leans in with a grin, cupping his ear to jokingly tease “What's that? I didn't quite hear you.”
“I said,” Shen Qingqiu replies speaking obnoxiously loud right in Shang Qinghua's ear. “That if Binghe knows about it Mobei Jun probably does too so you better hope he doesn't want any little icicles running around the Northern Palace.”
That shuts Shang Qinghua up. He turns sheet white and says, “That won't happen.”
“How are you so sure?”
“Because I wrote him and I know in his heart he hates children.”
Shen Qingqiu scoffs. “You wrote Binghe straight.”
“The comments wrote Luo Binghe straight. I wrote him as not caring about that until it became profitable for him to fuck around. Thankfully the comments were never fond of my king and no amount of money could ever sway me to sway him.”
“Well, Binghe cares a lot so you're heartless.”
“And you're lucky you don't have a baby in you right now. Seriously? He wanted to be the pregnant one? I swear he'd have wanted you to be.”
Shen Qingqiu thwaps him hard over the head with his fan, hissing like a spooked cat demanding to know what literature he's been reading to think such a thing, even if Shen Qingqiu himself had the same exact thought.
–
Liu Qingge has not been feeling well. It began around a month ago and, although the ill feeling has waxed and waned through the days, something has undeniably felt off. He's been on the Peak more than usual and working with disciples more than he’s used to. The Immortal Alliance Conference is in several months and while he knows his disciples will do well enough to not care about how they train, Shen Qingqiu is obviously anxious about the event after what happened to Luo Binghe all those years ago, so Liu Qingge has been dedicating large swaths of time to training Shen Qingqiu’s disciples in addition to his own to ease his fellow peak lord’s worries.
As he trains disciples of his own peak and others, throwing teenager after teenager off the high battle platform on the training field, he can’t help how his mind wanders through his body when another wave of ill-feeling strikes. His qi feels fine. In fact, his qi feels strong moving through his spiritual veins. He is nowhere near qi deviation. He doesn’t feel like he’s about to throw up blood.
He does, however, feel like he’s about to throw up.
Liu Qingge slams his palm into another disciple’s stomach, sending the girl flying backwards with an outcry of shock. He doesn’t wait for another disciple to replace her. He issues a snapped demand at the oldest disciples to continue teaching before leaving the training fields.
He hasn’t been nauseous in years. Not since before he joined the sect, when he was a mere six years old and took a long, bumpy boat ride with his sister to visit an aunt. In the subsequent years he has felt many discomforts but this has not been one of them.
He gets out of view of the training fields before he stops. He leans one hand against a tree to balance himself as he combats his body’s urges. He feels hot and sweaty. Light headed. He feels as though he’s in battle with a demon that he barely manages to suppress.
None of this will do.
At a run, Liu Qingge traverses the rainbow bridge from Bai Zhan Peak to Qiong Ding Peak. There is no use returning to Qian Cao Peak given he started feeling mildly ill shortly after visiting. He blames the disciple who saw him, who was clearly too incompetent given how flustered she was. Clearly Mu Qingfang is not properly training his disciples if they didn’t adequately clear his body of the pollens leaving him unaware that he must do it himself. Therefore, Liu Qinnge is best off to tend to himself to begin with. He only got into the habit of going to others at Shen Qingqiu’s insistence that he not be a lone stone in a stormy sea anyways. And Shen Qingqiu has been on and off the mountain frequently enough that he won’t find out if Liu Qingge feels mildly ill. It's not like he's going to meet him for tea any sooner than a few days.
He crosses the rainbow bridge and marches directly to Yue Qingyuan’s offices. As soon as the disciple from An Ding Peak helping organize files sees him, the young man bows deeply, ducking his head and asking, “What does Peak Lord Liu need?”
“Why are you here?” He asks instead of answering. One of Shang Qinghua's weakling disciples won't help him.
“I was sent to help sort reports from–”
“That doesn't matter. Where's Yue-zhangmen?”
The disciple points towards the study Yue Qingyuan often resides in. It's a beautiful study overlooking the chasms below, allowing its occupants to watch the seasons changing through the flowers and trees, or else idle the morning and evenings studying the fog rolling through the mountain peaks. The room itself sits over a vein of spiritual energy in the mountain stone, emboldening its occupants. Liu Qingge is fond of this room if for no other reason than the many times he sat idly by the window while listening to Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan speaking, vaguely wondering what changed in Shen Qingqiu to make him an entirely new man and not thinking about what new feelings this new man evokes.
He doesn't knock. His habit of storming into rooms isn't as bad as it was in the past, but another wave of light headedness rises from his stomach telling him not to waste time with frivolous things like knocking. He would like to hurry up and make his way to the spiritual caves.
Yue Qingyuan is sitting by one of the floor to ceiling windows looking out at it, watching a small flock of yellow birds flapping about a tree branch outside the window. He watches them pensive, tangled in whatever thoughts draw weary lines over the perpetually handsome face.
The worry vanishes the moment he sees Liu Qingge and he pushes himself upright with a bright, “Liu-shidi, I wasn't expecting you or I'd have made another cup–”
His words are cut off in shock as the lightheadedness overpowers Liu Qingge's sheer force of will and the man stumbles and passes out on the plush carpet.
–
Liu Qingge lays in his bed, his eyes closed. He’s barely conscious and utterly exhausted. Wiped out.
The faint memory of going to Yue Qingyuan to request access to the spiritual caves returns to him and he squeezes his eyes shut harder trying to remember if he qi deviated. He doesn't remember any of the signs he would beyond feeling light headed. And nausea. And fatigued. And despite being strong, his qi feeling slightly off. But none of that should have been enough to incite a qi deviation in someone like him. A lesser cultivator maybe, but not him.
The door opens and voices whisper back and forth. They're just low hums, indistinct. They don’t really matter. It’s just Mu Qingfang talking to Yue Qingyuan about his qi deviation. They’ve all done this before. It’s not all that uncommon for a peak lord to suffer a qi deviation and the others to gather. It’s become a strange ritual ever since Shen Qingqiu’s massive qi deviation. Within a few hours he’ll have rested, resettled himself and be back on his feet training disciples for the Immortal Alliance Conference. Or perhaps he’ll take a reprieve from the mountain and go find someone to fight. The problem with seeking combatants is after so many years of fighting Luo Binghe, no one else proves an interesting fight. Even if he got his ass kicked again and again, now that he’s no longer fighting for Shen Qingqiu’s…body… he almost misses having someone to push his abilities. He knows that if they had only another few battles, he would have won permanently.
Perhaps that’s the cause of his qi deviation. It’s Luo Binghe’s fault. For the last several years everything has been boring. Boring is good as long as Shen Qingqiu is alive and well, but no matter how much he travels there is no one that can beat him aside from Luo Binghe, and Shen Qingqiu has made it clear that they can’t fight anymore. Apparently, Shen Qingqiu thinks that they might end up killing each other by accident (on purpose given the brutality and lack of control of his demon husband).
It would make sense if it was Luo Binghe’s fault. Whenever he sees the husbands together a strange, unidentifiable feeling that is unnerving to experience passes through his chest.
Liu Qingge rolls in the bed debating the merits of demanding the others out, or just letting them be and ignoring them.
He ends up falling asleep almost instantly before a decision can be made.
He wakes again to the door opening once more and Yue Qingyuan saying, “I’m sorry we had to summon you on such short notice, Shen-shidi.”
Immediately Liu Qingge is sitting up and pulling the covers off himself to get out of bed. At the entryway to the room, Shen Qingqiu stands looking as elegant as ever, although perhaps a little ruffled from his travels with a thin line of worry on his scholarly face.
“No, it’s good you summoned me. What’s going on?” Shen Qingqiu asks. He snaps his fan open and closed in his hand, a beam of golden light casting in through the window onto his long delicate fingers contrasting the dark wood. Liu Qingge knows this fan well. Five times now he’s returned it to him when he’s dropped it. It's one among many he loses. He’s held that fan in his own fingers and knows how smooth the polished wood is yet how it catches when you try to close it quickly.
“Just a qi deviation,” Liu Qingge replies flatly from inside the room. Shen Qingqiu’s eyes lock onto him in surprise that he’s awake. Clearly Mu Qingfang told his shixiong that it was worse than it was when he summoned Shen Qingqiu back to the mountain, and the man thought he'd be unconscious for longer. Another point against Mu Qingfang for any future care.
“Ah,” Yue Qingyuan inhales sharply at Liu Qingge’s determination to get out of bed. He reaches out a hand and pulls it back.
Shen Qingqiu doesn't hold the same reservations as the sect leader. He hurries across the room to Liu Qingge with his feet dangling off the bed to blindly feel for slippers. Another wave of lightheadedness passes over him, slowing his rise to his feet.
“Let me help you,” Shen Qingqiu says snatching up the slippers and catching Liu Qingge's foot.
“I'm not incapacitated,” Liu Qingge says. He would reach downwards to take the slipper but it's easier to lay back down as another wave of faintness passes over him. “It was just a qi deviation.”
“Even so, Liu-shidi,” Shen Qingqiu says. There's an authority in his voice that teases with worry and an attempt at remaining aloof that tugs at Liu Qingge’s chest.
“About that,” Mu Qingfang says. “I'm afraid the matter is more complicated than a qi deviation.”
Shen Qingqiu’s surprise matches Liu Qingge's, although Liu Qingge is better at hiding it than Shen Qingqiu now he only has a slipper in his hand rather than delicate fan to snap open and hide behind.
“Well?” Liu Qingge demands when Mu Qingfang doesn't immediately continue. Mu Qingfang looks to the sect leader before stepping forward properly.
“The reason you passed out is actually because you're pregnant.”
“Bullshit.”
The moment he says it, Shen Qingqiu’s hands fly to his mouth, using using slipper to hide behind. No one in the room takes notice of his foreign exclamation because everyone's eyes are locked onto Liu Qingge in search of his reaction.
His reaction is simple: “That's not possible.”
“Unfortunately, Liu-shidi,” Yue Qingyuan starts. “We all know that it's possible.”
Mu Qingfang says, “It's a rare occurrence that needs to be induced, but it's very possible.”
Shen Qingqiu tries to look composed but his confusion seeps through.
“I'm not pregnant not because I can't be,” Liu Qingge says as though the three men in the room have suffered a qi deviation and not him. “I can't be pregnant because I–” His eyes catch Shen Qingqiu and his ears grow warm in a rare fit of unprovoked embarrassment. “Because I've never had sex.”
“Ah,” Mu Qingfang exhales and Liu Qingge deems the matter dealt with. He shoots Mu Qingfang a withering glance before snatching the slipper from Shen Qingqiu. What he does or does not do is not the business of anyone present.
“Liu-shidi,” Yue Qingyuan says stepping forward. “Investigate your own spiritual energy. We're not lying.”
Determined to prove them all wrong, Liu Qingge turns his attention inwards and…
And…
And Shen Qingqiu grabs his wrist, his long fingers wrapping around to land against his pulse so he may feel it too. It settles something in Liu Qingge at the same time as making his heart spike. Sure enough, that minor irregularity to his spiritual energy is present. Liu Qingge’s eyes flare open at the three men in the room. He didn't think it was something else's spiritual energy mingling with his because why would he?
Seeing he finally understands, Mu Qingfang says, “There are many ways to proceed with this. Your cultivation could do away with it in a simple whim. But there is the matter of,” his gaze darts to Shen Qingqiu kneeling by the bed next to Liu Qingge, hand still wrapped around his wrist. “The… other… contributor.”
There's an awkward silence in the room that lasts all of a heartbeat. Shen Qingqiu looks around clearly confused why he's here. He thought he was coming merely to be with his shidi after a qi deviation.
With no one else speaking, Mu Qingfang has to explain further. Liu Qingge assumes he’s here because he’s one of the few people he seems to get along with and despite being peers, Mu Qingfang is scared of Liu Qingge.
Mu Qingfang starts, “Around a month ago, Luo Binghe–”
Shen Qingqiu falls into a coughing fit.
Liu Qingge's heart rate spikes. He can fathom that somehow he stumbled across something that would accidentally let him get pregnant by holding hands or something ridiculous. He cannot fathom Luo Binghe being the one to sire any offspring. Ever. The two avoid each other since being banned from fighting. They haven't even fought in recent months.
He interrupts, “That's impossible.”
“If you let me finish,” Mu Qingfang continues. He's looking straight at Shen Qingqiu. “I was going to say he came in with an unknown request that scared one of my disciples into prolonged world travel. We couldn’t figure out what made her leave, but reviewing the records, it seems he came in for something about pregnancy.”
Everyone looks at Shen Qingqiu, who, despite his best efforts is bright red.
“Now. That being said, we don't believe it's his. We actually think it's Shen-shixiong's.”
Everything in the room goes cold at the pronouncement. The red in Shen Qingqiu’s cheeks mounts into a vivid crimson. His eyes are wide and dart back and forth as they sometimes do. Despite this, Liu Qingge still does not believe any of it in the slightest. He just had a qi deviation. Or a cold. Something that would impair his pulse. He hasn’t done a single thing that would cause Shen Qingqiu or anyone else to get him pregnant.
“That’s why we asked you to be here, Shen-shixiong,” Yue Qingyuan says. He still stands back, remaining at the center of the room as a presence but not a key member of the discussion.“We wanted to compare your spiritual energy to make sure.”
Liu Qingge gets up making everyone tense. He walks past everyone to the door which he holds open in a most obvious gesture to leave before he decides to settle the matter with fists.
With the finality of a fist through the wall, Liu Qingge says, “I’m not pregnant and this matter is over.”
Every single person’s expression disagrees but no one says a word.
Mu Qingfang leaves first. As he passes Liu Qingge, he stops and says, “I would encourage you to come to the peak to make sure.”
Liu Qingge remains resolute in his denial.
Shen Qingqiu leaves next, telling Liu Qingge he’s glad he isn’t ill before scurrying away, muttering a string of strange expletives under his breath.
Yue Qingyuan remains in the room. He paces around the perimeter, stopping to look out the window before admiring the knicknacks that Liu Qingge has collected over the years. Once, his room was barren but now it stores all sorts of trinkets from his travels. Many were bought when Shen Qingqiu was faking his death, and although they were intended to be gifts Liu Qingge ended up keeping them. He’s not one to grow fond of things, but he has grown fond of them.
Yue Qingyuan picks up a small lone cat figure and turns it in his hand.
“This is interesting.”
“It’s porcelain.”
“Mn,” Yue Qingyuan turns it back to look at the cat face before setting it back down. “It looks expensive.” He turns back to face Liu Qingge by the door, his head tilting ever so slightly to the side in curiosity as though Liu Qingge is a strange cat-like creature with claws and jaws that could attack at any moment.
“You know Mu-shidi isn’t wrong,” Yue Qingyuan says.
Liu Qingge knows.
“And you know that it’s Shen Qingqiu’s.” He continues. “When you were unconscious, I felt it in your pulse too. I know the markers of his spiritual energy well and would never mistake it.”
Liu Qingge knows that too.
“You can discuss anything with m–”
“Absolutely not.” Liu Qingge cuts him off. Yue Qingyuan nods and passes through the door. He gives Liu Qingge one more look before continuing down the hall to where Mu Qingfang is in discussion with Yang Yixuan. Liu Qingge watches them a moment before closing the door.
—
Shen Qingqiu holds his breath walking back to the bamboo cabin where Luo Binghe sits at the window with his head peering out like a dog awaiting its owner to get home. He’s decided not to tell Luo Binghe yet. There is no reason to tell him before anything is confirmed or decided. He can only imagine Binghe’s tangle of emotions at finding out that not only did he not get pregnant, but that Liu Qingge is pregnant with Shen Qingqiu’s baby.
Unfortunately for Shen Qingqiu, this is an inalienable fact. The system oh so delightfully decided to inform him of his new “achievement” at the same time as it was revealed to Liu Qingge. Stupid fucking system in this stupid pervy world that lets stupid men get other stupid men pregnant. Couldn’t even give him a heads up that he unknowingly got a man pregnant.
Binghe comes running outside to meet his husband with a honey–sweet “Shizun!” and an embrace almost as sticky given that Luo Binghe doesn’t let him go and instead walks back inside attached to Shen Qingqiu’s back. Shen Qingqiu’s swears that if Luo Binghe lost both his legs, there would be little difference in how much the man hangs off him. He’s always clinging to Shen Qingqiu.
Not that he’s bothered by it. He’s grown used to it, accustomed to it even, to the point where it feels weird to walk and not feel Luo Binghe toying with his fingers trying to interlock their hands.
“Was Liu-shishu okay?” He asks leaning over Shen Qingqiu to rest his chin on his shoulder. His fingers run along the folds of Shen Qingqiu’s robes until they can slip under the first layer.
“It's…unclear.”
Luo Binghe makes a sad sound of disappointment having wanted to pack up and leave again for a while.
“Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu says turning around the moment they're through the door. “I told you I wanted to stay and help disciples train for the Immortal Alliance competition.” He pushes Luo Binghe's bangs back to press his lips against his forehead when he sees those eyes starting to glisten. “Just a few weeks, and then we can go wherever you want.”
Somehow, Binghe seems to accept the answer, even if he somehow becomes stickier to Shen Qingqiu in the passing days.
—
It takes Liu Qingge more than a handful of days to fully admit to the fact that he’s pregnant. He paces around. He debates. He contemplates. He meditates and goes to find someone to fight just to fight before something clicks in his head.
He pulls on his boots and marches out of his house, over the rainbow bridge, and straight to the bamboo house that Shen Qingqiu lives in with Luo Binghe. It's mostly the same as ever. In some ways it's a little more run down simply by not having anyone living in it and only have disciples tend to it over the span of months to two travel. In other ways it's far more luxurious. While present, Luo Binghe doesn't often leave the bamboo house and therefore spends his time improving it. The garden flourishes. The pond is alive with frogs and flowers. And the air is heavy with the scent of something delicious floating through the open window from the house. It makes Liu Qingge's stomach growl loudly upon his approach and an ill fated need to eat whatever the demon husband is cooking.
He refuses the hunger wholly, not wanting to admit that this might be what a craving feels like.
He knocks on the door.
Luo Binghe opens it.
“What?” Luo Binghe demands, inflating himself against Liu Qingge to block the interior. All that can get by him is a wall of that delicious scent.
“I'm here for Shen Qingqiu.”
Luo Binghe squares himself in the door even more, making himself seem larger and more menacing. “No.”
“Go get him.”
Luo Binghe’s hand grips the doorframe tight enough his knuckles are white. He leans inward and bares his teeth at Liu Qingge, his demon mark flaring. “No.”
Liu Qingge's hand automatically flies to his sword in a force of habit. How many times has this exact situation played out? And how many times did he lose, be forced to watch the demon cradle his shixiong's limp body?
Liu Qingge prepares himself to lunge forward and force his way inside.
Luo Binghe bristles, itching to fight but unwilling to make the first attack.
Shen Qingqiu walks past the window shoveling food into his mouth. Mid-chew he spots Liu Qingge and brightens, hurrying to the door and nudging Luo Binghe aside saying, “Binghe don't just make him stand out here. Let him. You have good timing shidi, I just poured tea.”
Just like that, Luo Binghe takes his first loss to Liu Qingge, forced to grant him access to Shen Qingqiu against his will. Even if it wasn't a battle, Liu Qingge can't help the smugness as he crosses the threshold into the bamboo house. Luo Binghe shuts the door behind him, but Liu Qingge is already seated at the table with Shen Qingqiu, back to Luo Binghe as though he’s a child once more..
Liu Qingge doesn’t waste any time. He looks Shen Qingqiu straight in the eye and asks, “Do you want it?”
Shen Qingqiu’s mouth drops open in shock at the question so openly asked without any preamble or warning. Luo Binghe stands behind his husband to glower down at Liu Qingge, and intensifies his glower to scare him off when he is ignored.
“What does he have?” Luo Binghe asks, wary of what new gift Liu Qingge has brought for Shen Qingqiu. Liu Qingge’s gifts have a habit of stealing Shen Qingqiu’s precious attention, something Luo Binghe can barely bring himself to endure only because it makes his husband happy to get this new pet or that new pottery from farther than Luo Binghe has gotten to travel while glued to his husband’s side. He can bring home presents too– they just aren’t surprises because Shizun is always with him!! “Shizun, what does he have?”
“He…” Shen Qingqiu starts and stops. He reaches for his fan at the corner of the table, but his fingers knock it off in an inadvertent jerk. Immediately Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge duck to grab the fan. Liu Qingge has the advantage of proximity and snatches it from Luo Binghe’s fingers to pass it back to its proper owner, sliding it over the table around the meal to him.
“Thanks,” Shen Qingqiu says. He’s not looking at Liu Qingge but at Luo Binghe. A strange expression twists his face.
Liu Qingge cocks his head and asks, “You didn’t tell him?”
“Not yet.”
Luo Binghe’s eyes grow wide. “What didn’t you tell me?” He deflates entirely, his enraged puff flattening to make him somehow look small and pathetic with big round eyes, like a puppy thrown into a lake. It'd almost be funny how pathetic he looks at learning a secret exists hidden from him to anyone except Liu Qingge.
Shen Qingqiu cups Luo Binghe’s hands in his and evenly says, “Remember when you took that medicine to Qian Cao Peak? Well, the reason it didn’t…” He coughs lightly into his hand. Phrasing it delicately, he continues, “take… was because there was a mix up.”
It takes Luo Binghe a moment to process before realization dawns on him and his head snaps around to face Liu Qingge, malevolent killing energy radiating off of him as he snarls and reaches for a sword. “You thief! Hussy baby thief!! HOMEWRECKER THIEF!!” Luo Binghe barks loudly, baring his teeth ready to fight.
Liu Qingge matches, summoning his own into his hand and flinging himself out of the seat. Oh how he's been itching to fight a matched combatant and Luo Binghe is just the person he wants to destroy most right now.
“Stop it.” Shen Qingqiu scolds before they can exchange even a single blow. He thwaps Luo Binghe over the head with his fan and says, “It's your hair brained idea that got us into this mess so no fighting. You two are going to get along. Period. No fighting.”
That's all it takes to make Luo Binghe release his weapon, letting it clatter to the floor. Liu Qingge isn't as foolish as to do the same knowing the demon has something else up his sleeve.
The something else is something Liu Qingge has no hope of matching: tears. His eyes grow big and round and fill with tears and draw Shen Qingqiu to him like a siren's song. His face contorts, scrunched and turning red as he drops to his knees and buries himself in Shen Qingqiu’s waist, sobbing that Liu Qingge stole their baby.
“I did not!” Liu Qingge barks at him, raising his sword wanting to fight instead of watching a grown man sob. “You’re the one who did this.”
“He really isn’t at fault, Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu assures with a stroke of Binghe’s hair and pat on the head.
Lou Binghe pokes his head around Shen Qingqiu’s waist and shoots him an ugly expression that says while he had to yield to let Liu Qingge inside, Liu Qingge did not win. Not as long as he's crying and Shen Qingqiu is trying to coax him back from tears.
Absolutely vile to manipulate such a noble man like Shen Qingqiu with ugly alligator tears. Liu Qingge should rip Luo Binghe off him and demand a proper fight, but instead he’s caught entranced by Shen Qingqiu calming the demon. The way he pets his hand and brushes back tears and kisses his temple before flicking him hard in the center of the forehead is utterly entrancing and that strange feeling of longing that is only ever awoken around Shen Qingqiu wells in his chest. Every so often Shen Qingqiu looks over his shoulder at Liu Qingge with an unspoken apology for his husband’s antics. Although his actions should not, they calm them both, keeping them both from fighting. So long they fought over his body, but now his body is the only thing between them keeping them at peace when confined in a small space together.
When Luo Binghe calms down, wipes his eyes, and says that he doesn’t want Liu Qingge here, they all sit together and discuss the matter at hand. Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe eat the meal they had just begun to consume when he knocked on the door. Luo Binghe takes big bites, half daring Liu Qingge to dare ask for any and half to eat it all before he even has the chance. He eats so quickly he chokes twice and breaks into fits of coughing. As much as Liu Qingge’s stomach growls at delicate white fish plucked of each and every one of its bones dipped in a golden sauce and layed out on a bed of fluffy rice and greens he doesn’t lower himself to such a request. Instead, he discusses the matter at hand with Shen Qingqiu, ignoring Luo Binghe’s interjections.
When he walks away, he can hear floating through the open window of the cabin Luo Binghe crying that it wasn’t his fault and Shen Qingqiu saying if it wasn’t his fault that Liu Qingge’s pregnant then who’s is it? Liu Qingge pauses to listen, turning around just in time to see a silhouetted Luo Bing fling himself onto Shen Qingqiu to kiss him. Shen Qingqiu’s arms rise and wrap around Luo Binghe’s neck, backlit by the warm lamps inside like a performance of shadows where Liu Qingge is only an onlooker.
Liu Qingge takes the long way back to Bai Zhan Peak before detouring and walking straight to the Spirit caves where he enters without permission.
Although Shen Qingqiu offered no resolution, he has come to one as he sits in the caves to meditate. He saw the longing in Shen Qingqiu’s eyes. He even saw it in Luo Binghe’s even if Luo Binghe’s wants doesn’t matter to him after his irrational choices have resulted in all this. He just knows that Shen Qingqiu wants the baby, and a strange, buried part of him can imagine raising a child with Shen Qingqiu.
And maybe Luo Binghe.
If he absolutely must.
He makes an ugly face at the thought.