Chapter Text
There was something in the air that night. Something that gave both Sypha and Belmont a little chill in the spine by listening to the front door of the castle open very discreetly and close again, no hellos, no lights on. It was early in the night, too early, maybe around eleven. Certainly too early for their friend to be back if anything had occurred as they were hoping.
Sypha was reading and by looking at her husband, she gestured for him to go outside the bedroom and check if everything was alright. Belmont sighed, pretending to be bored, but what he actually felt was fear.
Alucard had been different ever since they returned, he was undeniably happy to see them and spend time with them but every time they tried to ask what those marks were on his body were, he would tense up and say he didn't want to talk about it. He became colder, and with them, he didn't bother to mask he was in pain. He would spend more time alone than ever and it was very clear to Sypha that he was perhaps more uncomfortable with touch. Their friendship had always included hugs or touching to a certain level, but now she felt she had been bothering him by doing so.
Belmont went downstairs slowly, trying to figure out where Alucard could be. He passed a small bathroom and after the place was behind his back, he heard a faint sound of water running. Another sound followed, a very miserable sound. Alucard was crying or maybe about to do so, he was breathing at an uneven speed.
Inside the bathroom, Alucard had not heard the steps, he was too distracted. His head was spinning and his chest felt tight. Once again, he felt that horrible exposure haunt him, that discomfort that seemed to come from every hand that touched him, regardless of how inviting and gentle the person could be.
Earlier that night, he let his friends know he would be out maybe until morning. After being teased and questioned a little further he admitted he would be seeing a guy he met earlier that week. They approved of it and told him not to worry about anything, they could run the house by themselves until his return.
The date itself, if you could call it that way, was not terrible. At least not at first. They met at a tavern and he guy was very good looking, he had a jovial and slender quality to his aesthetic, much like Alucard himself, except he was ginger and less built in muscle.
They had been exchanging looks during that week, Alucard had requested his family's service to help with a part of the Castle. And Sebastián would come, even after his part was over. They lingered in each other's presence in a very inviting way and finally, Alucard decided to build up the courage to invite him to have a drink or two.
He thought that by being the one inviting, this would settle his mind into the single idea he wanted it. That this was going to be ok because he was more in control of the situation this time. Gave him some sense of safety, although after a few beers, they decided to go to Sebastián house. On his way there, Alucard felt himself uneasy, his heart was betraying him beating too fast.
A part of him indeed wanted this, and Sebastián had been nice the whole night, he was a bit picky about food and subjects, but talking to him was not tedious. However, he had this manner about him that Alucard only noticed when speaking more directly. He was probably stubborn and a little arrogant.
As soon as they arrived at the bedroom Alucard felt a hand touching his hips and waist. The hand slipped under his clothes and started to caress his abs, going up, closer to his chest sometimes. The other hand started touching his thigh, and before he could think too much, they started kissing.
Sebastián was provoking him while they kissed, something Alucard tried to return, dreading the mechanical quality of his motions. He was overwhelmed by how sudden it had all been but didn't want to make his date feel he was the problem. His cordiality, however, didn't last long when Sebastián started to indicate he would take Alucard's clothes off. The blond vampire froze in place, and his face expressed the discomfort he was feeling. Sebastián frowned and it was visible that they were in different moods.
What came next was what made Alucard lock himself in the bathroom later. Sebastián got mad and said he didn't understand him at all, that Alucard had been giving all the signs for days, and that he was confused. He even asked if Alucard was toying with him, that rejection seemed to affect his ego.
Alucard found himself unable to explain too much. He simply said it was not his fault, that he didn't mean to insult him, and that he would be on his way. He might have said it in a cold manner, but as soon as he was out there and the wind touched his skin, he could feel tears coming down his face.
After arriving at the Castle he didn't have the courage to say anything to his friends. Sebastián had not been the first date he had had that ended up like this. He felt disgusted with himself, confused in his senses. His body wanted him, he wanted everything, he had been aching to be touched, teased, fucked, to feel desired most of all. But his mind has the strongest aversion to the exposure of it all, he could not rest and enjoy himself as before. He was alway trying to know if the worst of the worst would happen again, and by never being sure, he was never comfortable having someone be intimate with him.
He could still hear Sebastián's angry voice in his mind, it made him hate himself. He was aroused while they kissed, and at the same time his touch had been too fast, too impersonal for him. Maybe, as his date said angrily, there was really no way to please him. So he leaned on the sink and cried for once again stretching himself to the point he felt violated, but never enough.
A few minutes in, Alucard gasped at the sound of a faint knock on the door. He cleaned his face instinctively and closed the faucet.
"Hey… are you alright in there?"
It was Belmont's voice, and it was horribly gentle. He heard him.
His mind was agitated but he decided to finally say something about it. It was miserable but he could not go on that way, the loneliness of that feeling was crushing.
Alucard unlocked the door, and Belmont opened it slowly, getting his eyes adjusted to the darkness since he had left the candle on the floor outside. He saw his friend there, his tears glistened close to the edges of his agitated eyes in the dark.
"What happened? You can tell me, Sypha and I really care about you," He said, touching his friend's shoulder.
Alucard felt his throat sting and his lips tremble. He blinked heavily and tears started to roll down his eyes again.
"Did he hurt you?" Belmont asked, knowing that if that little ginger guy had done anything wrong for real, his corpse would be at the stake, bloodless outside of the house by now. Alucard could be broken and crying, but he was by no means merciful when in real danger.
"He did not. The whole thing was my idea, and I… changed my mind. He did not like that and… Well, he was pretty rude. I just said I was sorry and left."
Belmont could not believe his ears.
"He what? What the hell did he say to you? You can change your mind whenever you want, Alucard. Can't believe you are the one who apologized."
Belmont could see Alucard was trembling, his hands were shaky. Whatever happened made him really distraught. Didn't matter if he said he didn't hurt him, Alucard was a brave warrior, something here just didn’t add up. This had to be something else.
Belmont came closer and opened his arms so Alucar could come to him for an embrace, which he did in the blink of an eye. The brunette stroked his friend's hair a little and let him cry a little longer. His heart broke by feeling Alucard was actually well-groomed for his date, he would only wear that perfume for some people.
When Alucard calmed down, Belmont decided to finally ask him more directly about what happened to him when they were away. It was a terrible moment, but that question would make any moment terrible on its own.
"You never told us what happened. Why you have scars on your body. We can tell you are not at peace with it. Let us help you, you mean so much to us," Belmont said quietly, still holding his friend.
Alucard's chest could not hold it any longer, he had been rotting in isolation due to the burden of keeping something so terrible only for himself. He told Belmont briefly about what happened. How he received the twins, how they conquered his trust, and he led his guard down, how lonely he was and how much he was blinded by the possibility. He told him about that night, when they both showed up at his bedroom, of what it seemed to be, and how it ended. Belmont never interrupted and by the end, he was holding Alucard tighter than ever, brushing his tears from his cheeks with his fingers.
Alucard noticed Belmont was maybe a little tearful too, it was hard to tell in the dark. And he was everything the vampire had ever dreamed of, saying he did well on killing them, that they were monsters, and that he was sorry for all that. That the scars would never make him scary or less beautiful, he could show them, he could wear whatever he wanted when it was hot outside.
"I've missed you," Alucard managed to say to him while Belmont took him by his hand and started to guide them through the corridor.
"I've missed you too, you have no idea. I'll never leave you alone after knowing this. God, the things you went through alone."
"Where are you taking me?" Alucard asked when they reached the place that separated the path to their bedrooms
"Spend the night in our bedroom, I don't want you to be all alone in yours. If it makes you comfortable, of course. You can sleep in our bed, or we can have that extra mattress. I really don't care."
Belmont knew it was a weird proposal but he knew in his core that this was the right thing to do, the right thing to ask for. And Alucard was a little surprised, but Belmont knew he had gotten it right because his answer didn't take long to come.
"Only if Sypha is ok with it. I would hate to intrude," he said
"She would not have it any other way, she is the one who told me to fetch you."
When they finally arrived at the bedroom Sypha was there at the window, beautiful, the most welcoming eyes Alucard has ever seen in so many years. She came closer and they both hugged Alucard, who was still very shaken.
"Let's have a good night of sleep, you two can tell me more about it tomorrow. But you are not hurt, are you?" She asked
"No, nothing happened," Alucard replied.
"He is trying to make less out of it, this guy was awful to him Sypha." He helped Alucard get into bed, giving him a sign that he could be in the middle of it. "And something terrible did happen while we were away, we can talk tomorrow," he said in a lower tone, not exactly to make it unaudited for Alucard but to make it less heavy.
They lay down, the three of them, and Sypha placed her arms around Alucard. At first, the vampire felt insecure, she was his friend, but she was also Belmont's wife.
"Come closer, rest your head close to my chest, you won't be in trouble. Everybody needs a feminine touch sometimes," she said.
Alucard chose to believe it, having Belmont caressing his arm while he did so. Syphas scent close to her chest was sweet and comforting, her heartbeat warmed his soul. He felt Belmont was still caressing his hair in a comforting way, he could feel his heat behind him, and just to be in the presence of the ones he loved most, it was healing in its own way.
The night went on and for the first time in what seemed to be a century, they were finally where they were meant to be.