Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The last sun rays were painting the city buildings in bright purple and golden colors. Hurriedly, the people of Marley were finishing their jobs and closing down the market stalls and shops.

Levi was sitting near the port, watching the ships arrive and depart. Every half an hour or so, flying boats were flowing above his head.

It’d been three years, and he still hadn’t gotten used to them. The big machines worked on fuel and magic, he reckoned, and irreversibly changed the transportation possibilities in the world they were now living in.

Finally, the man sighed and maneuvered the only gear he was capable of actually maneuvering those days — his wheelchair — alongside the coastline. Soon, he got to the house, not so far away from there, where he’d been living for almost two years now.

The house wasn’t big, but there was a nice porch, where the man often drank his tea, the three-in-one living, dining, and cooking area, a bedroom, and a spacious bathroom, very much like the one he’d once used to have all to himself in Queen Historia’s castle. Did anyone still stay in that room when visiting the castle?

Levi didn’t know. He hadn’t really been in touch with anyone from his previous life. At some point, when the Rumbling dust had settled, Levi’s wounds healed just enough for him to be able to manage on his own again, and it had been the time to move on, he’d exchanged letters with Armin for a while. Thanks to it, the man had learned how all his squad’s brats had been. Well, almost all of them.

Levi had really tried to move on. To not be in a constant fear, loss, and killing cycle. To go with what Eren had meant for them — live and be free. And partially, he’d succeeded. His new life consisted of occasional hangouts with Onyankopon, helping out with the world’s rebuilding, stomaching the young irritable brats that came by from time to time, getting his own house, and well, for the first time in his life, having some time off.

Levi liked it. He felt it was all well-deserved. He sometimes even smiled, relaxed, and enjoyed the world and people in it just passing by. His days were good.

Unlike his nights. The life he had been living since he had been a little lonely kid had left its irrevocable damage. And not only physical. The bad hand and one blind eye were not that much of a problem. That he could be okay with. Even his limp leg was manageable. It constantly hurt and spasmed, especially after some activity, and was often sore, but he made his peace with that, too.

What haunted him the most, however, were the nightmares, frequent anxieties, and his usual insomnia, which, mixed with the rest, sometimes drove him crazy.

He often woke up in a cold sweat, panting and replaying the horrible scenes in his mind until the morning came and pulled him out of the darkness Levi’s mind was dragging him into.

Today, there had been another bad night, so when Levi got home, he’d made himself camomile tea, and, hoping to have some decent sleep tonight, walked out onto his porch, holding the cup in one hand, and cane in another — he used it instead of the wheelchair around the house.

The man watched the distant sea waves crushing against the shore, while everything was getting covered in dusk.

Suddenly, a car appeared on the road, and then, to Levi’s surprise, it pulled over to his house.

Levi didn’t know anyone who could own or rent such a nice machine, and he wasn’t expecting any guests that night, either. His eyes rounded when the door opened, and a figure emerged from the backseat, stretching out and looking right at the startled man.

“Hello, Levi. It’s been a while.”

Chapter Text

“Hello, Levi. It’s been a while.”

“Long time no see, Armin,” Levi answered dryly. “What brings you here?”

Armin then smiled. His former Captain remained just the same man he’d remembered seeing all those years ago. The young man then said something to the driver and walked up to the porch.

”Had some business in the city and decided to come visit you while I’m here,” Armin said joyfully.

”Huh. Well…Might as well get inside and talk. If you’re not in a hurry, of course,” Levi murmured, glancing at the car.

”No-no, the driver will be waiting as long as I need,” Armin explained.

”I see…” Levi trailed off, thoughtful. A private driver? Armin must now be someone of great importance and high status then. Well, not surprising. After all, the ever-inspired blue-eyed brat had once been the Commander of the Survey Corps, hadn’t he?

The two men entered the house. Armin curiously eyed the interior, making a mental note of how impeccable everything inside was. Levi had never lost his cleanliness grip, which was…good to know.

“You hungry?” Levi asked casually, leaning on his cane and walking into the kitchen area.

”To be honest, I am a little, yeah,” Armin said shyly, only now remembering he hadn’t eaten anything that day.

“I have some leftovers from last night, if that works,” Levi suggested.

”Sure, just anything would be great,” Armin said, upbeat.

The two men then had the dinner, engaging in a lively chat and updating each other on the state of things in their new lives. Armin also told Levi about all the other squad members, and how they now were. Well, almost all. There was someone particular the grumpy man would very much like to hear about as well. But Armin didn’t mention that someone, and he didn’t dare to ask, either.

What Levi noticed as they’d finished dinner, however, was that Armin was mulling over something, and even with one good eye, Levi could see it right through.

”Armin, I can feel something’s hanging in the air. Spit it out already,” Levi sounded strict.

”There is one more reason I came here, you know…” he trailed off.

Levi just watched him.

“Well, as you now know, we’ve become Peace Ambassadors and everything, and…” Armin tried to compose himself, “we’re soon going to Paradis for the negotiations. I was wondering if you wanted to join us.”

Levi was silent for a moment. 

”Why would I wanna go to Paradis? The damn Jeagerist fanatics are gonna kill me the moment I set foot on that island,” Levi then said.

”That’s the thing. Being the world peace representatives that we are…well, it provides some kind of protection. Yes, it’s still dangerous, but…I just thought you might wanna come.”

“Well, I’m not any kind of a representative,” Levi mentioned, crossing his arms.

”I can tackle the formalities. You’ll come as a part of that delegation,” Armin insisted.

”Still, why?” Levi both did and did not understand why he was being invited to join such a party. He’d quit all military and political bullshit years ago. Nothing was now tying him to the island where too many awful things had happened for him to now be willing to come back. He didn’t miss the place…Not one bit.

”Oh, come on. You’ll get to see everyone again. Your whole squad is coming, Levi. And when we arrive, there’ll be Historia, and her little daughter, and…” Armin then hesitated for a second. “Mikasa, too. I know she’ll be happy to see you as well.”

Now that was the name to really trigger Levi’s already firm decision not to come. Shit, Armin, why did you have to mention that brat? Couldn’t you just stop at the Historia and her daughter part?

Levi’s mind wandered off into the spiral of thoughts again. He’d never spoken to her since that day they’d stopped the Rumbling and…killed Eren. The memories that so often turned into his nightmares suddenly started rushing into his mind.

The only two humans left. The last ones standing. There was some irony in that whole situation, but no time to mull over it.

Mikasa’s hand grabbed his. Feeling her fingers on the bare skin of his wrist, Levi looked at the girl.

”Levi. Help me, please.”

Her eyes held it all together — fear, desperation, begging, frustration, determination, and so much more. He wanted to hold on to that forever, and not let go, but that was the luxury that life never let people like them have. Never let them have.

There wasn’t much time left till their last final leap. Just like there wasn’t much Levi could do to reassure her once again — that he was there, ready to help and support, no matter what.

Levi held out his wounded hand and carefully slid it to her nape, his fingers touching Mikasa’s short messy hair. He leaned forward, until their foreheads met. Holding her like that already felt the most right thing he had ever done. But he felt the burning need to say something. Cause maybe it really was his last chance to say anything ever again, and he did take it.

”I’m right there, brat. Until the very end.”

Moments later, their hands parted. And so did their paths…

“Levi,” Armin squeezed Levi’s shoulder, seeing the man’s absent stare. The touch seemed to have worked. “Are you alright?”

”Yes, Armin, I’m fine. It’s just…whatever,” Levi said dryly. “Thank you for the suggestion, but I won’t join you brats. I left it all behind a long time ago, and I’m really trying to move on. Sometimes I even think I succeed…”

”Do any of us?” Armin asked rhetorically, standing up and intending to leave.

No, probably not. But it was worth trying anyway.

”Say ‘hi’ to all the brats for me, will you?” Levi said, standing up to see Armin off.

The young man nodded, and headed for the door, Levi walking right behind.

“Thank you for coming,” he said, intending to close the door after Armin, who was already leaving the porch. “If any time you…”

”You know what,” Armin suddenly interrupted him, swiftly turning back and facing Levi again. “I understand it’s too grand of a decision to make right away, but please, think about this again. And if you still decide that you won’t come, then alright, so be it, stay here and move on with your life. But if you change your mind…come to with us. We set out from Odiha port on the eighteenth. Whatever you choose, please think about it, Levi.”

The ferocity of Armin’s voice did impress Levi a bit. The young man in front of him was no longer the shy and weak boy Levi had met all those years ago.

”I’ll think about it,” Levi said quietly.

”Thanks! And thanks for the dinner!” Armin waved once again and got into the car, still parked in the driveway near the house.

Levi closed the door, leaned on it with his back, and slid down. The visions of the past kept coming.

Not even knowing or intending, Armin touched the wound Levi thought was long healed. It wasn’t. Shit. Lately, the thoughts and memories of what had happened years ago hadn’t been such a burden to him. Not anymore.

But tonight’s visit had awoken something in him. Something he hadn’t thought was an issue anymore. If it had ever been an issue at all.

The man’s mind was exploding with the desire to go, and fighting with the rational decision to stay and leave damn Paradis and everything that had ever happed there in the past.

He had too many reasons to stay, and really only one to go. But did that one outweigh all of them? Fuck it, Levi, just admit it already.

After hours of sitting on the floor with his thoughts spiraling him into blackness, Levi gave up. He limped to the bathroom to shower and calm down a bit, before going to his especially anxious and poor sleep.

“Armin, everyone’s here already, I think we can set out now.”

Annie and Reiner walked towards Armin, who was nervously pacing along the deck and looking at the people rushing around the port.

”Not yet,” Armin said firmly.

”Are we waiting for someone?” Annie asked curiously. Armin hadn’t mentioned anything before.

”I hope so,” he answered, sighing.

The rest were all settled and coming up to the deck as well, chatting, and contemplating their upcoming voyage. Armin soon joined their lively chatter as well.

A sudden voice from behind the group caught everyone off guard.

”Oi brats, happen to have a spare seat?”