Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Denji felt the skin on his arms prickle with goosebumps until he couldn’t help smoothing a hand over his right forearm, trying to chase the feeling away. His shoulders were hunched against the icy cold that still lingered in his body, despite the relatively warmth of the office he found himself in. Outside, a storm was brewing.

Makima was standing behind her desk, facing him. He had the vague feeling that she was iterating over some rules for devil hunters employed by their agency, but he struggled to focus on her words. His body was aching all over and the involuntary shivers running through his body tormented his tired muscles. His freakish transformation into Chainsaw Man had really taken a toll on his already weakened body. He must've lost a lot of blood, too, since he was feeling more light-headed than usual. He wished he could just lay down and not get up again for a month or so.

His gaze wandered to the rattling window, shaking from the fierce wind trying to get into the temperature-isolated building. It would probably rain again soon, thick and heavy drops of cold splattering all onto his body as he was searching for a new hideout. A shudder ran through him. Pochita won’t be there…

„Which brings me to my last point“, Makima stated neutrally, briefly clearing her throat, which somehow made the door behind him open. Denji turned just in time to see a young man with black hair and a black suit enter the room. The blond teen froze, holding his breath as he took in the stoic expression on the new person. He is good looking, Denji thought, blinking rapidly to chase the unfamiliar thought away.

„Hayakawa Aki will be your partner, Denji. He started at the agency 3 years ago“

Denji nodded slowly, eyes wide. Such a good looking guy was probably an asshole, Denji considered, taking in the unreadable face of the man. Denji frowned and tried his hardest to suppress the tremor still running through his body from being exposed to the cold for too long. Or maybe it was his nerves? He hoped not. Denji was not a nutcase. Definitely not.

„Hi“, he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. The presence of the dark haired man with the pointy pony tail made Denji feel somehow antsy and self-conscious. The man was so pristine with his fancy suit and all. He even had his tie tied to a knot all tidy and proper while Denji’s was still hanging loosely around his neck, not the semblance of a knot in sight.

„Denji will be living and working with you from now on, Aki“, Makima continued. „Take him home. That is all.“

Aki nodded stoically, not looking at Denji. „Excuse us, Makima-san“ With that, Aki turned towards the door and went through it in one swift motion, not even confirming with so much as a glance that Denji was still at his heel.

There was not much Denji could do but to follow the taller man, who was briskly heading to the main entrance of the several story building. Denji’s muscles ached, he felt his legs wobble beneath his every step, praying to whatever being would listen that his knees would not give in before he was alone. He wanted to ask the older man to slow down a notch, but just as he was about to open his mouth, they were standing outside – right in the middle of a raging storm beneath a dark, gloomy sky. The cool wind was pulling at Denji’s hair, trying to pick up his slender body and toss him towards the sky. It had already begun to drizzle, too. The rain was icy on his already chilly skin. Shit, Denji thought with feeling.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, ducking his head between his raised shoulders. „Where to?“, he asked, crushing his teeth against each other to stop them from clattering.

„It’s not far“, the stoic man replied in a low voice. He was shrugging off his suit jacket, the nutjob, in this weather? „Here“, he said, wrapping the jacket tightly around Denji’s malnourished body. Denji froze. Held his breath. His lungs were suddenly out of order, what with the fancy man standing so close to him, the warmth of his jacket shielding Denji from the cold. „Come on now, this way“, Aki said and gently pushed between Denji’s shoulder blades to maneuver him forward.

Denji stumbled along.

Chapter Text

Aki’s apartment hadn’t been far from Makima’s office, that much had been true. What Denji hadn’t expected was that it was several stories up with no elevator in sight. Denji gritted his teeth. Just a little further, just a little… He gripped Aki’s jacket, holding it tightly around his upper body as if it alone were capable of holding him upright. The black cotton felt smooth below his calloused hands. Just, like this, he couldn’t cling to the handrail at the same time, which, weakened as he was, was his only chance to get up any of those damned steep stairs at all –

Denji tried to judge the distance, the time it would take to reach Aki’s apartment, but his eyes kept unfocusing, and he had to blick several times to unblur his vision. The beige stairs in front of him were his last hurdle before he could rest—probably. Surrounded by white walls, stainless like he’d never seen before, he tried to take a deep breath through his nose, trying to brace himself.

„Is it okay if I-“, Aki began just as Denji had lingered in front of the first step for a second too long.

Denji looked sceptically at the unreadable guy, his vision growing even more hazy still, his eyes glazed over. With his eyelids hanging low from exhaustion, he began to slur: „Wha-“

Just then, Denji’s knees buckled and he stumbled forward. Aki caught him with a strong arm around his waist, holstering him upright. „I meant, is it okay if I help you with the stairs“, Aki finished lamely.

Denji found himself holding on to Aki’s upper arm involuntarily. Damn, he cursed inwardly, so much for saving face.

„I’m- fine“, he pressed out through gritted teeth, letting go of the other with a sinking feeling in his chest. If the taller man let go as well Denji would surely find himself crumbling to the cold floor tiles in no time. There was really no winning here. His knees felt like playdough.

„Okay“, Aki replied neutrally, carefully loosening his grip, ready to reach out and catch Denji if it became necessary again.

Denji’s vision began to swim from the sheer effort of keeping himself upright. Nausea settled in his stomach, black spots appearing in front of his eyes, blocking his sight of the good looking man. Denji gritted his sharp teeth, his jaw fiercly tense. He felt suddenly lost.

„Aki?“, Denji mumbled, reaching out into the air in front of him, unseeing. The floor beneath him had begun swaying back and forth, left and right. If he was going to hurl, at least it would be over in no time, Denji figured, as it had been ages since his last meal. „Aki, um…“

Denji was for the most part unaware how Aki’s arm found its way back around Denji’s slim waist, couldn’t even remember how they got upstairs and to Aki’s apartment after all. All he knew was that within the blink of an eye later, he found himself in a clean bed with a fluffy blanked covering him up to his chin. As he slowly began to adapt to the unfamiliar environment, he noticed the figure standing right next to the bed who was frowning angrily.

Aki, Denji realized with a hint of unreasonable surprise. Of course, it was his apartment.

„Are you still cold?“, the disgruntled man asked.

Denji looked at him. He shook his head, eyes wide. What ever was the meaning of this? Did Denji do something?

„Okay.“ Aki sighed, anger draining from his face. „Rest. Dinner will be in 2 hours.“ He turned to leave before adding, „Don’t worry, I’ll come and get you if you’re asleep by then“

Chapter Text

Aki’s new partner was only half human, blond and thin as a twig. Aki hadn’t come across anyone this obviously malnourished for a long time. They had been on patrol missions together for a few days now, luckily having only encountered minor threats so far. Aki wondered how long their luck would hold as he strolled across a broad street in the industrial manufacturing part of the city. There was neither human nor devil in sight, so he allowed his mind to wander.

Every time Denji transformed into Chainsaw Man, he lost a lot of blood, his body not originally made to sprout chainsaws from each and every limb and head. That, combined with his malnourished physique, left him feeling cold and exhausted after every transformation. It was clear to Aki that the teen was used to keeping up a strong front in front of others, but even that couldn’t prevent the shivers and clattering teeth from taking over his body once he transformed back.

„Take my jacket“, Aki heard his own voice echo in his head, the moment not even 24 hours passed, after a fight with some bothersome devil that had tried to eat the humans queuing up at the cinema.

„‘M f-f-fine“, his new partner had replied, his teeth knocking together in staccato, his face pale as a drywall.

Aki had then proceeded to firmly wrap his jacket around Denji anyway, and after a moment’s hesitation, the blond had taken hold of the seams to pull them together at his chest. „Thanks…“, he had mouthed eventually, barely audible yet not quite escaping Aki’s keen senses.

Aki had just nodded curtly. He could tell that Chainsaw Man was incredibly strong, but it was equally obvious to him how much of a toll the transformations had on Denji’s body. He reckoned that the damage he took from the chainsaws would become more bearable once Denji’s body became stronger through nourishing food and exercise. The thought led him to dwell on what he’d cook for dinner, only interrupted by his walkie-talkie suddenly chirping and Denji’s voice coming through.

„Aki, um, there is- a devil“

„Where are you?“

Denji took way too long to figure out his location, only after an eternity coming up with a street name and an incredibly vague description of the threat. Aki started running immediately.

By the time Aki arrived at the scene, Chainsaw Man had already distributed various limps of his opponent across the square, horrified onlookers, cars and street lights equally covered with their fair share of blood splatter. The threat was completely neutralized moments later.

All in all, Denji’s modus operandi was certainly not as neat as the bureau would like it to be. Makima won’t be amused. But Aki decided the lecture would have to wait as he saw the human shaped Denji stagger through a crowd of onlookers. Aki hurried towards him.

„A-k-k-ki“, Denji stuttered, shudders running through his thin body, arms wrapped around his bare torso, trying to hold himself together from shaking apart. „S-sorry, it couldn’t wait-“

„Fine“, Aki grumbled, tossed Denji his jacket again and proceeded to try and calm the nosy yet shaken people that had witnessed the scene.

Once they’d both made it to his car in the early evening, Aki couldn’t help but sigh in relief. None of them died today, that was a clear win. Denji, shivering form still wrapped in Aki’s jacket, settled onto the passenger seat. Aki cranked the heating up to maximum, pressed a protein bar and a bottle of water into Denji’s clammy fingers and started the engine. From the corner of his eye, he saw Denji’s face light up like a bonfire.

Chapter Text

Sure, hunting devils was fun, but their day-to-day life was still Denji’s favorite part of the day. He had told Aki so numerous times - despite it being obvious to Aki either way by the big grin on Denji’s face when he was able to afford groceries from a store, or lay on a plush surface to rest and sleep.

Their lives had become more close-knit than Aki had anticipated when they first met. Somehow, they ended up doing everything together, from working to playing games, watching movies, shopping and eating. Aki had never been the type to proclaim his emotions across the board, but a quiet happiness settled in his stomach nonetheless. He found himself secretly smiling at Denji's shenanigans, and when he woke up the depression he usually felt didn't weigh him down quite as much anymore He marveled at the change.

Though there was one thing that clouded Aki’s contentment with their almost carefree daily habits. Every now and again, when they were watching TV together or Denji was having toast with jam for breakfast, tears would start filling Denji’s yellow-brown eyes surreptitiously, eventually rolling down his face for him to notice as a tickle on his cheeks.

Chattering leisurely or even laughing just seconds before, Aki often noted the warm tears on Denji’s face even before Denji himself. Still, Aki wondered about what was going on in Denji’s head. He usually wore such an upbeat expression that it was almost painful to watch the cracks opening up behind it. It made Aki's heart drop from his chest to his legs, and his throat go dry. He hated seeing Denji cry.

That Denji had no control over his body’s subconscious reactions became apparent every time Denji flushed red once he noticed the wetness on his face. The first time it happened - Aki and Denji were watching an action comedy, Denji had tried to excuse himself to the bathroom. But Aki grabbed his arm before he even had the chance to get up from the couch.

„It’s okay," Aki whispered, „you can stay.“ His gaze not once left the bright screen of the TV, giving Denji a semblance of privacy despite his presence.

Denji hesitated, sniffed, sniffed again, then finally wiped his nose and eyes on his sleeve.

„C’mere“, Aki stretched out his arm towards Denji - even without looking at him, an unmistakable offer of comfort. And Denji had given in. He scooted a little closer to Aki, not quite touching, yet a heartbeat later was wrapped by two protective arms, his back pulled against Aki’s chest like it was normal. Like it was only natural to start crying during a comedy. It reminded Denji of cuddling with Pochita, the soft orange fur pressed against Denji's face, making warmth spread in Denji's chest, making his heart want to keep beating.

Somehow, Aki’s comfort had made Denji want to cry harder, and despite his hand pressing against his mouth, the small hiccups were still audible to attentive ears, occasionally drowning out the low voices from the TV.

„Sssh, deep breaths,“ Aki murmured behind him and Denji tried his very best to comply. He drew a shuddering breath, and then another. And another, until eventually the muffled sobs subsided. His sleeves by then were full of snot and tears, as none of the two men had wanted to get up to get tissues. Aki didn’t complain, and Denji, frankly, was used to filth way worse than that.

None of them mentioned those moments again after they’d happened. In fact, they both went to their rooms to sleep afterwards as if nothing had happened at all. Until one evening, Denji dared to breach the subject.

It was one of those evenings where Denji was sniffling again, quietly curled up at Aki’s side while they were watching a sappy romance movie. The male lead had just begun singing in front of the girl's parents' kitchen window, hoping his musical efforts would reach her on the second floor.

„‘s so stupid“, Denji murmured.

„The movie?“

„Me“, Denji mumbled, leaning his head against Aki's chest, Aki's arm wrapped loosley around his shoulders.

„Why do you say that?“, Aki asked, his tone neutral.

„Don’t even know why I’m crying“, Denji grumbled, wiping his running nose.

„You don’t?“

„...I guess I miss Pochita," Denji said, voice low, "Wish he was here“

Aki was quiet for a moment, then replied softly. „He’s is. He’s your heart, remember?“

Denji pressed his lips together, trying to hold back the sob rising in his chest. Once he felt like he could speak again, he murmured in a hoarse voice „‘s not the same“

Aki hesitated, then said. „I know. I’m sorry“

That pulled Denji out of his fog. He blinked, glancing over.. „What for?“

Aki met his eyes, calm and steady. „For not being able to do more“

Denji furrowed his brows, wiping at his nose again. „You’re already helping a lot“

Aki's face was unreadable again, having revealed enough of his feelings already. „I’m glad“

Denji turned back to the TV. After a beat, he mumbled, „‘s a good movie. Pochita would’ve liked it“

The times Denji cried in front of the TV or the breakfast table eventually became less and less. Yet by then, cuddling up to Aki and being held close by at least an arm around his shoulders, leaning his head against Aki’s shoulder or chest, had become part of their usual evening routine.

Denji had also stopped being a shivering mess after every transformation he went through, his body regaining its strength – undeniably thanks to Aki’s care and cooking. All in all, it seemed that Denji’s life had finally turned around.

Chapter Text

Aki’s patience was hanging by its last thread, a thread growing thinner by the second as he watched his partner jump around on the battlefield, accumulating reckless choices faster than someone could say “don’t let Makima know”.

They had argued that morning—Denji had stayed up too late gaming, cursing loudly and keeping Aki awake until the early morning hours. In consequence, sleep-deprived and annoyed as he was, Aki had scolded Denji for his lack of cleanliness during breakfast. One thing had led to another, and they both left their apartment steaming with anger. The irritation was still simmering low in Aki’s forehead - or maybe it was the sleep-deprivation.

To top it off, Denji was completely unfocused on their mission, getting them both into unnecessary danger. Aki furrowed his brow as he watched Chainsaw Man getting run through the shoulder by the Spear Devil. Bright red welled from the wound, soaking the torn white fabric surrounding it.

Aki gritted his teeth against the undercurrent of a bad conscience crawling around in his mind, a feeling that liked to accompany him almost as often as did his general sense of responsibility.

As he watched Denji struggle needlessly against the Spear Devil, his annoyance flared again and before either of the two fighting devils could reposition themselves, Aki summoned the Fox Devil's head and concluded their business with a move of his hand. His partner looked around himself for a second, like he couldn't quite believe that Aki had stepped in after all.

Stupid devils, Aki thought, and turned half-way, ready to leave. Dark clouds were hanging low on the horizon, it was going to rain. The air smelled damp and heavy.

He watched from the side of his eye as Denji transformed back, grunted and pulled the stuck spear free. Crimson blood splattered onto the grey concrete.

He watched Denji stagger after him with a glazed over look in his eyes. “Thanks“, he murmured once Aki came into earshot.

The dark haired man nodded stoically. Then, he headed for their car without another word, wanting to get the paperwork ready as soon as possible. He also didn’t want to deal with Denji right now.

Just after he had taken a couple of steps, a sudden and painful retching sound stopped him in his tracks. He turned to look at his partner, his expression unreadable. Denji was bent forward, throwing up in the middle of the sidewalk. Just great, Aki thought, feeling resigned.

He watched for a long moment until Denji straightened himself, wiping at his mouth with his sleeve. His eyes were bloodshot. Aki couldn’t help but sigh. He turned again, finally heading for his car, while Denji followed him quietly like a beaten dog.

Once on the road, Denji had gotten progressively greener around the nose. As such, it came as no surprise when a gurgling noise disrupted the tense silence between them.

"Aki...pull over," Denji pressed out through gritted teeth, a hand pressed on his mouth.

Valuing the cleanliness of his car, Aki complied without pause. However, concern had begun gnawing on Aki like a rodent chewing away at an old fence. When Denji climbed back into the car, he was trembling, arms wrapped around himself, trying to keep it together and spectacularly failing.

Aki sighed, the deeply caring instincts inside of him taking the upper hand. „Okay, what’s going on with you?“

Denji was too pale, Aki realized now that he had a closer look at his partner. If there was anything left in his stomach, it looked like it would soon come back up as well. Either way, Denji kept his lips pressed together, turning them almost white under the pressure. Blond strands of hair were falling into his face, sticking to the clammy skin of his forehead.

"Denji“, Aki prompted again. „Talk to me“

"You’re mad at me“, Denji explained defiantly.

“So?”

"I can't stand it“, Denji lamented, drawing his lips into a pout and frowning.

Aki wiped a hand across his face. Then he reached into the back of the car, pulling a water bottle from the backseat. He handed it to Denji.

"Let’s talk at home, alright?“

Denji nodded, turning the bottle in his hands. The car had a faint smell of blood and vomit now, evaporating from Denji's ruined shirt.

Aki chanced a look at his partner from the corner of his eye while driving. His face was ashen and he was folded in on himself, bending forward at the hip as if his stomach were in pain. Well, maybe it was. Aki’s guilty conscience finally won him over. He reached out to lightly stroke Denji’s mob of blonde hair for a bit. It was sprinkled with blood and grime, but the strands were soft under Aki’s touch. He heard Denji draw a deep, shuddering breath through his nose.

"It’s going to be alright“, Aki murmured before reluctantly placing his hand back on the wheel.

Twenty minutes later, Aki ushered his roommate into the bathroom, all his anger finally faded into nothingness. He gathered a clean shirt from Denji’s room after motioning his partner to sit down on the rim of the bathtub and wait for him.

Judging by the color of his complexion, it was wise to keep Denji close to the lavatories for now. Once returned, Aki handed him the clean shirt.

“I’m not mad anymore”, he began, trying to sound patient as he watched Denji toss his sullied shirt into a corner.

“Then why were you mean,” Denji was apparently still sulking.

“I wasn’t-”

“Can you just not hate me?”

“I don’t hate you, Denji”

“Okay”, Denji thought for a moment, “that’s okay, then”

“Good”, Aki replied stoically, his expression stern. Not wanting to be sidetracked completely, he added, “no more video games after 12 am, though”

Denji nodded.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I want to go to sleep…”

“Okay, sounds like a-”

“... in your bed, Aki. Can I?”

Aki looked at his roommate for a long moment. Finally, his heart stuttered for a second before he replied, “Sure”

XXX

Denji tried his best to disappear under the heap of blankets he had accumulated on Aki’s bed as finally the rain began to drum against the closed windows. Every droplet had a life of its own, choosing its winding path down the glass and onto the window frame. Denji was mesmerized for a moment, before he remembered Aki standing in the doorway.

“You coming?”

“I…yes”

Denji nodded all matter of factly. He wouldn’t have agreed to anything less. He stretched his arms out towards the dark haired man, who was just untying his pointy ponytail, letting his hair fall down to the sides of his face. Denji gaped at him. He always looked so different with his hair down, and yet he was still undoubtedly Aki. Maybe more so. The feeling inside Denji’s chest was strange, but not unwelcome. He felt safe.

Aki climbed into bed next to Denji, and Denji found himself drawn closer by a muscular arm around his shoulders. They settled against each other, the heap of blankets still covering most of Denji.

Aki shifted slightly, adjusting his arm so it fit more comfortably around Denji’s shoulders. “You okay now?” he asked, voice barely louder than the rain. The street light outside their building flickered to life and chased the darkness away, even in the corner room they were huddled in.

Denji sighed, burying his face in the crook of Aki’s neck, smelling the remnants of cigarette smoke and Aki’s shampoo that reminded him distinctly of the home he had found.

“Yeah”